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July 18, 2024 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:47:20
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #198: Trump Assassination Attempt

So Trump got shot at so we spend a lot of time talking about that. Also the RNC is crazy, Vance sucks, and Cannon is a crazy person. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
I'm going to be back in a few minutes.
I'm going to be back in a few minutes.
warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to this normal week.
Totally normal week.
And also joining me is the Mysterious Elle!
It's-a me!
Mysterious Elle, Leo!
No voice, though.
Just regular.
Yeah, where you been?
Where have I been?
Did I miss my switch or something?
Where's your camera?
Oh, we went over this.
We went over this.
My laptop broke and I only have one USB port.
Well, I do have a splitter for it.
I didn't want to have directly before recording be the time where I test plugging three things into my one deal, you know?
Because if that shorts out the other one, I'm proper fucked.
I'd rather give us a week worth of time to deal with that scenario when I try that later tonight or whatever and just be like, oh shit, my fucking computer exploded.
That's cool.
So, normal week.
Yeah, everybody had a good...
Normal week, nothing.
Yo, fuck Jack Black!
Fuck him!
Hitting him in my whole dick and balls.
Yeah, I mean, for the time being anyway, because Jack Black is a fucking sellout poser loser bitch.
That's cowardly.
He's the latest, like, I said it, I said it on some of my socials or whatever, but it's the latest.
I'm gonna go like that.
To true elitification.
This dude, he cannot wait to be America's Ellen.
He's been trying for a long time.
And his latest part of the ritual was having to immediately cut loose his friend of like 40 years or whatever.
That was his humiliation ritual.
The moment anything came to like maybe start fucking with his money.
Because if he didn't make another 10 million dollars for the next Kung Fu Panda movie, Jack Black would be really suffering, you know?
You're so right.
I thought that was funny because that seems to be the new pivot is that like you know now that it's kind of like that the right's having trouble latching on to a narrative that actually has Yeah, we're looping our listeners in who might not have caught a whiff about the fact that the former president and current candidate for office got shot at.
that made any ha ha funny statements after the shooting of Trump for those who don't know, listeners.
Yeah, and we're looping our listeners in who might not have caught a whiff about the fact that the former president and
current candidate for office got shot at.
Yeah, he got pierced in the ear.
Like in booze.
Which is, you know, it's just like, it's, of course, conservatives are coming out to just be like, I can't
believe you guys are making violent jokes.
It's like, fuck you, pal.
Your whole existence is dying to shoot someone with that gun.
You're constantly talking about doing it to liberals.
Shut up.
Oh, I mean, literally, like for months we had to deal with fucking every conservative in the world being, ah, Bob Pelosi got hit in the head with a hammer from his gay lover.
How do you like that?
We are gay people attacking each other with hammers.
You just know how those freak Democrats... Yeah, they're just like, you know, Obama in office, noose.
Mike Pence not a returning presidential election, noose.
And it's just like, you guys know what the noose means.
Like, we're not, we're not dummies.
We don't think that you're too stupid to understand what the implication of that is.
There's like, the rope means we're going to tie him up and talk sense into him.
It's like, yeah.
Literally.
Yeah, fucking morons.
Like QAnon people who are just like, I cannot wait to hang all my enemies and throw them in Gitmo and kill them in mass.
That being said, these heady times have bamboozled a bunch of people.
And I will say for the record that while I, in private, made hell of jokes, I, in public, to have stuff to lose so like i'm not making public jokes about that shit and it was incredibly stupid for kyle gass to make that joke at that time so i'm not saying that and like look if you made if you made jokes about trump getting shot at
Bully for you, you're a better person than I am.
I'd like to keep my job, and I don't want anybody, like, you know, I have this little platform, I don't want anybody to come and just be like harassing my employer or whatever, you know what I mean?
So, like, you know, denounce political violence.
We can joke about it in, like, a year from now, you know?
But in the moment, it is just like, oh, shit, the presidential candidate and former president of the United States, like, somebody did try to blow his head off with a rifle, like, at a rally, no less.
That's fucking crazy.
That's crazy stuff.
And a man died.
Yeah, but I mean... The child sucks because they're children and had no say in the matter.
The guy was at a Trump rally.
I mean, I don't like... Good for him for saving his family, but also like, you know, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I mean, that's great, but this guy was sitting in the path of fire because he was back there going, WE LOVE TRUMP!
BOTH OF MY HANDS IN THE AIR RAISED!
DOUBLE FIST PUMPING FOR TRUMP!
Like that guy who everybody thinks is the reincarnation of JFK or whatever.
Who's that dude?
Oh my god, that was my favorite kind of conspiracy.
In the background, just like frothing at the mouth.
But anyway, so yeah, so like a lot of people are making a lot of jokes.
I do think it's stupid to be doing that if you have something to lose because conservatives fucking love that, man.
They will come after you.
That's currently what they're doing is harassing people who make jokes, but it's whatever.
You can make jokes, people.
You can do it privately if you want.
Yeah, do whatever you want!
Just wait.
You just gotta understand that sometimes that will have repercussions on your paper.
You gotta wait until it won't affect your currency if you're not already rich.
You know who is already rich?
Jack Black.
So fuck him.
So fuck him for taking the wrong side on this one.
He should just be like, yeah, my buddy said a stupid thing.
We both apologize.
We're gonna continue our tour because a lot of our fans paid a lot of money to come see us.
I mean, there was a guy at the RNC wearing a cosplay of the ear cover, and that's objectively funny.
I'm gonna laugh at that.
I'm gonna laugh at them.
It is funny, but we'll laugh at that during the Amuse Bouche, when we're going to be talking about the RNC.
And not now, when we're talking about other stuff, because I need to talk about Sticker Mule, because it cuts both ways.
Did you guys see the Sticker Mule thing?
I saw people finally learning that Sticker Meal is right-wing, which is very funny to me that now people are catching on just because they did that, um, like, We Endorse Trump thing and, like, I watch Andrew Tate sometimes, so I've been new that they've done, like, exclusive sticker lines with Andrew Tate, and, like, Tate had his own, like, code for Sticker Meal.
Okay, yeah, but it's not weird that everybody else is just, like, waking up to it.
It's weird that you already knew it, because you're watching Andrew Tate.
And I know that you're doing it for good reasons.
My name is on a right watch.
I watch the right.
I'm just saying, you and Mike are too plugged in to not be bamboozled by the Sticker Mule thing.
As a regular person, I had no idea that Sticker Mule had a political affiliation.
So, like a lot of people, I thought that coming out and revealing that you did to your customer base by sending them an unsolicited email telling them about how much you love Donald Trump was fucking madness!
I was like, what a fucking business decision, dude!
What about, talk about cutting off your nose to save your face or whatever.
You're just like, dude, you know what?
These conservatives are going to fucking, they're going to love how much we love Trump and they're going to spend, they're going to, they're going to sell so much stickers.
And then it's just like every other person who does not love Trump will see this and just be like, ah!
Like, if you politically don't like Trump, you're like, ew, this is gross for a billion reasons.
But how about just like, I don't want my sticker company sending me an unsolicited political email.
I don't give a fuck.
Listen, there's your sticker guy.
He has good deals.
I don't give a fuck who it is.
I mean, like, if Sticker Mule sent me a thing just being like, man, you know what rocks?
Highly progressive politics.
Like, here's some ballot initiatives you should vote on if you can.
I'd be like, what the fuck?
Get outta here!
You sell stickers!
That doesn't function, dude!
Do not be sending me political messages!
It is, it's the objects.
It's like, it's objects talking politics to you, you know?
Yeah, somebody get Pixar on the line.
What if these objects had political opinions?
It's our spiciest movie ever.
Are we going to say anything with this movie?
Absolutely not.
You better believe we're not going to say anything with this movie.
This movie is going to say nothing.
By the end of this movie, you're going to be like, huh?
I'm just imagining a movie that is as toothless as a Pixar movie was with like humans and that kind of stuff and then as toothless as the Civil War movie was about the politics around the Civil War.
It's just objects fighting with each other for no discernible reason and journalists are covering the objects.
Did you watch it?
No, I've not watched Civil War.
Watch it.
Watch it so we can talk about it.
Yeah, the most important thing, the message coming out of that movie is truly there are people on both sides, you know?
It literally is.
There's people on all sides.
People be doing sides.
And then they're like, look at this shot.
You remember this from Vietnam?
It looks like that shot.
Oh my God.
That's the whole movie.
Before we get into talking about the serious part, since we can segue into talking about shots.
Let's talk about shots.
Okay.
I'm going to preface this by saying, for the record, and, you know, maybe it's just part of being liberal.
Maybe it's just being rational.
Maybe it's just being an adult.
I have to admit, when a thing looks cool.
And that picture of Donald Trump, from his attempted assassination with the fist raised and the blood coming down his face, with the flag flapping and the breeze behind him, does look cool.
For the record, I would like to say publicly, stenographer, you get this, that does look pretty cool and it does look fairly hard.
You're just an American.
Trumpers going out there just being like, that's the hardest picture of all time.
Those people out of their fucking treats.
Like, it's not even close.
The way that like people who already feel like Trump is Jesus, the way they must have felt seeing that photo must have given some of them heart attacks.
Oh yeah, I mean that's like, you, I mean, could you, the only person who could have been more excited by how that photo came out than a Trump supporter was Trump.
Absolutely.
Can you imagine what Trump thought of that photo?
He must have been like, he was just like, I need you all to leave immediately.
I am about to produce my penis and then pound it.
Vigorously.
As vigorously as I am able.
So vigorous that I will be very sleepy at the RNC.
We'll get into that later.
He already put out shoes.
He already put out his Trump shoes.
You know how he had those gold ones?
I'm just sending it to you right now, Al.
It removes a lot of the so called cool factor, I think, because it removes the flag.
It's just him with the fist.
But it's the same type of shoe as the gold sneaker.
He put the fight, fight, fight, and then him holding up the fist on the shoe.
Yeah, it just looks like a fucking iron on decal on the side.
It's not good.
It's not good.
It's so cheap.
It's so tacky.
But you know, they needed to crank it out there.
They needed to get it out within 12 hours so they can start raking in that fundraiser.
They're like, a man died, but I will not, not make a sale.
They care about that man as bad as much as I do, which is to say we will just continue ignoring that man.
In favor of talking about how there are an unlimited amount of pictures harder than that picture.
Sorry to Donald Trump supporters.
Absolutely.
Take your W, but quit trying to capitalize it, you know?
It's not even the hardest picture of the year.
What's the hardest picture of the year for you so far?
Oh, God.
It was a protest photo I saw, but there have been so many of those happening across the world that I can't remember which it is.
Was it Georgia Lipstick Girl?
Uh, was that from this year?
I mean, that photo does rule, but, like, I'm not sure if that one's from this year.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
But, yeah, like, there was one I saw from, I'm pretty sure it was Palestine, but without knowing for sure, I wouldn't want to, like, speculate too hard on it.
But anyway, yeah, there's just, like, there's a lot of world events going on this year.
There are a lot of people, like, fighting for their very freedom, livelihood, the right to exist, and those people are, like, frequently taken to the streets and getting captured doing cool stuff, I mean.
If you're out there throwing molotovs at people enough or, you know, like standing in the way of tear gas.
Oh, how about that picture?
How about any of the still frames of that video clip that surfaced recently of that guy?
Oh God, it was somewhere in Africa.
Picking up that tear gas canister that was shot at him.
Oh, and smoked it?
And then smoking it.
That was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life.
How about the frame of that guy smoking from the tear gas canister that was fired at him?
Yeah.
You don't think that's in contention for Hardest Fucking Picture of the Year?
No, that's the hardest thing I've ever seen, honestly.
Yeah.
When I saw that, I was just like, this isn't from a movie?
A guy really did this?
What a fucking...
Dude, talk about having aura.
Like, is that guy campaigning to take over when their political unrest is settled?
Because, fuck can I be?
That's a pretty good campaign pitch.
And like, honestly, the Met Gala already happened this year, so there's way better photos that came out this year.
And this year, the Met Gala was pretty weak.
So, that's all I'm saying.
They're just so bad at taking dubs.
Like, if they're not massaging a dub into an L, they're trying to massage it into a much bigger dub.
And it's just like, guys, just take your wins.
Take your wins and try to, like, organically ride the wave.
Like, especially because we'll segue into the RNC talking about how Like, our boy Trump, he could have said or done anything.
Like, you know, he was even more Teflon than normal.
Surviving an assassination makes you the king of the castle.
And this particular week, the castle happened to light up to be the RNC.
So let's get into our amuse-a-bouche.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
The RNC.
Which I have to expect means robust network of clowns.
It's true.
Derogatory.
Clowns derogatory.
Yeah, I'm always using clowns derogatory.
I will tell you if I'm using clowns positive.
But yeah, that's going down, and the timing couldn't be better if you wanted to be a sycophant for Donald Trump, because there's no better time to swallow your pride and bend the knee than the RNC for Donny T. Mike and or Haley, I'm John Vamping and rhyming.
Fill the people in on actual news.
Well the one thing I remember so far that was like kind of a little side note was Rudy falling on his ass walking down a like walking on the floor he just like topples into a bunch of chairs.
That's a great place to start, isn't it?
Rudy probably had a few too many in him, just not able to walk properly.
That was weird.
My favorite thing about that is how not news it was.
I mean, I saw a couple of tweets or whatever dunking on him, and it was like, if you scrolled down two pages on HuffPo, you could find it, but Rudy Giuliani's just such a nothing burger now that they're just sort of like, isn't it weird that this old man kind of stumbled into these chairs at the RNC?
And then that's the article.
And then we had another McCarthy-Gates flare-up, where McCarthy was again just like, oh yeah, by the way, he fucked a 17-year-old.
Wow, just throwing it out there.
Yeah, just throwing it out there.
Just like, FYI, Matt Gates is a pederast.
At the RNC, I just want you all to know that.
Just FYI.
And everyone in the room is like, shut up, we don't care about that.
We only care about that when there's a microphone in front of us.
Yeah. It's like, those two- There's the one guy in the back who's just like, legend!
And then just like mild applause.
Yeah.
I think the wildest thing that I saw at the RNC so far was probably some inflatable penises that are set up outside
the RNC.
And it's like some anti-vax, anti-med thing that says your penis won't work if you take anything.
So that was fun.
I like kooky stuff like that, like that sets itself outside the RNC, but there's like as equally kooky stuff inside the RNC.
Like the Amber Rose thing which kind of went a little viral.
I went down this rabbit hole because we briefly talked about this last week and I saw that she's basically just been just pumping some kind of crypto pump-and-dump scam that she created that I'm sure she's profiting off of right now pretty well which I think is great that she's kind of scamming the The Republican folks get the bag, you know?
Insufferable she is though.
Did you see the Farjadio Blow music video that she was in that played at the RNC?
I watched that yesterday while watching live and It was something to behold.
She had like a big Trump gold chain, you know, like with the big head.
They had like a wrapped cyber truck with like, like Trump's shit all over it.
I think it was sampling Ice Ice Baby, but it was Trump Trump Baby.
That was awesome.
I hope to God that Trump called on his goons to go summon her for him.
Just be like, she's a fan, go get that whore, and bring her back to my place.
Just like a member of Secret Service comes.
Uh, I'm sorry, uh, but, uh, President Trump wants to see you.
And she's like, what, really?
And he's just like, yeah, I'm sorry.
You don't want me to come get you?
You can't say no, but like, you know, they'll probably just call you ugly or whatever on Truth and destroy your career.
He's a piece of shit.
And a power dynamic rapist and a bunch of other stuff is what I'm getting at.
Although, she is also a piece of shit herself for being a fucking... for modeling poolside in a MAGA hat so that she could shill cryptocurrency to people that hate her.
For a variety of reasons.
Oh yeah, the comments about her were like, oh, very friendly crowd.
I'm sure that a lot of those guys in private would just be like, oh, yeah, like, yeah, like, I'd probably hate fucker, you know, like, because those guys are pieces of shit as well.
I hate talking about the RNC.
It's all the people I hate in one place.
I also just, you might have seen some of this, Mike, people freaking out about Harmeet Dhillon's prayer.
That she gave at the end of day one.
That's Harney Dillon.
She is a Trump attorney and she has also taken on a lot of like high-level cases for high-level conservatives like Andy Ngo, for example, and some of the locals here like Carrie Lake's Stop the Steal stuff.
So yeah, she's like a big Right wing attorney and is often on like right wing news channels.
But anyway, she's Sikh.
She's Sikh.
And she gave a prayer on the first day at the end to like close it out.
And like, yeah, did a traditional Sikh prayer.
And at one point, the part of the prayer is that she's praying to the one true God.
And Oh boy, did, like, right-wing evangelicals and, like, Christian fascist scraper Nazis, like, lose it after that?
Like, Lauren Witski said, like, posted the clip on Twitter and said, how about you get deported instead, you pagan blasphemer?
God saves our president and the RNC mocks him with this witchcraft.
And then I saw, you know, BeHizzy, he was kind of like part of the Stop the Steals scene.
George BeHizzy.
You know him at all?
Not really.
He actually has like worked with Harmeet and he was calling her out too.
He was saying it was like unacceptable.
And he says that Whoever invited her to, like, pray to a foreign god needs to know that there's only one god, and his name is Yahweh.
Did he go the extra mile and, like, delete the vowels?
I love that people are so- Yeah, um... He put in the vowels, but, um...
Uh, what's his name?
QAnon John was saying, I don't know who needs to hear this, maybe the RNC and GOP perhaps, but Waheguru, a pagan genderless idol fairytale is not the one true god.
The title only belongs to Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
You know, the one who saved Donald Trump from certain death on Saturday.
And this is how you end the first day of the RNC?
By making him sit through this?
America is a Christian nation.
Have you forgotten?
Shameful.
And that's honestly, like, some of the nicer things that were being said, because, like, Nick Fuentes and the Kroikers got a hold of it.
She even, like, commented that she had to block people after her speech.
Because, like, the hate was so bad.
So yeah, that's a really nice, friendly environment of folks.
Also super chill of Jesus Christ to let that guy get up on the roof with his rifle and get a shot off before deciding to save the man, you know?
Yeah, literally killed someone.
Billy could have pulled the plug on that at any moment before then.
The guy in the crowd must have really fucking deserved to die.
I mean, my God.
Jesus was like, I really want to kill this guy in this crowd.
How do I do it?
Okay.
Oh shit, he's behind Donald Trump.
Let me just move Donald Trump slightly to the right.
And he's dead.
Okay.
Thank God.
Thank God.
Who is me?
And then he high fives himself.
And then he pats the dude on the roof on the back and just be like, you're about to get blown to pieces.
See you later, buddy.
You know, he works in mysterious ways.
The most mysterious.
That sounds like some of the Mask Level shit or whatever, you know?
Yeah.
That's like a fucking crazy God of Chaos.
Anyway.
Yeah, I have a tweet here.
The RNC featured a prayer to a demon.
Did anyone turn their backs?
Did anyone leave the room?
Was there any resistance to this at all?
No, it turns out.
Because everyone in the Republican Party is fucking spineless.
Nikki Haley showed up to literally bend the knee to Trump.
J.D.
Vance's fucking vice presidential pick.
That guy called him Hitler.
He called him America's Hitler and said that anyone who voted for him was like a stupid moron.
Now he's running on a presidential ticket with him and everybody thinks it's awesome because they're all fucking stupid morons.
He had him pegged.
Like a Republican, you can look him in the face and just be like, you're a fucking idiot.
And they'll yell and scream at you, but at no point will they ever prove that they're not an idiot.
They are what you say they are, but they will fight you the whole way about it.
Oh yeah.
They're not going to beat the allegations, they're just going to whine about them.
Unless you decide to actually try to play on their team, in which case they're just like, oh, we don't care about it.
Despite all the things you said to us literally in print, I think that we're cool now, you know?
We don't care about receipts at the RNC.
I saw a lot of people taking it, like Stu Peters, who is just a fucking Nazi, he and other similar types were basically with this prayer and the J.D.
Vance nomination, or you know, him being the VP pick, and like the way that Vivek has kind of become popular in the party is proof that like there's a quote-unquote Indian coup takeover, so The racism is ever expanding in the GOP and Republican and right.
I saw someone make a poster like, you've probably heard of the Jewish question, get ready for the Hindu question.
Yeah, I saw that getting thrown around.
And Stu Peter's saying that to the HQ, which is like, wow, that didn't take much.
You know?
Yeah.
And for those who don't know, Dave Vance isn't Indian, but his wife has Indian heritage, so that it's like secondhand racism.
Oh, I definitely saw a Twitter post that was somebody was retweeting somebody saying some most racist thing about her.
I was like, wow.
Oh, that's how I found out about that.
You know, I saw some Nazi posted something saying, wait, he's married to a brown.
And that was what I saw.
Yeah.
I was just like, oh, I did not know that he was married to a person of color.
I would not choose to call them that.
Right.
But this is new information to me.
So I guess.
Thank you.
Because it does make this it does make everything a little more confusing.
Right.
It's just like.
What do they think?
Is it just because he's young?
Is that it?
Is it just because he's young?
Because it seems like what he's not bringing to the table is clearly believing in any of the horseshit they pull because he's married to a person of color and he clearly hated Donald Trump's guts as of like two years ago.
Yeah.
What he brings to the table is the fact that he is one of the minions of Peter Thiel, a billionaire who is trying to buy the presidency.
And it seems very obvious that Peter Thiel and his venture capitalist tech bros got Trump in a room and told him, you're going to fucking pick our boy to be your vice president and we're going to prop you up with all our dark money and Oh yeah, and BT Dubs, Vance is also a massive Putin bootlicker.
He is one of these pieces of shit who will absolutely sell Ukraine out in a heartbeat.
100% pro-Russia, loves all that stuff.
So this is- Like-
Go ahead.
He's part of these like, the Teal people are like these Silicon Valley fascists
that people I don't think like, a lot of people think California's like blue,
solid blue thing.
And it's like, no, the weirdest, like, oddest fascist with the weirdest, strangest ideology come out of Silicon Valley.
And that's like the Pew, the Peter Teal folks.
Yeah, it's like how Massachusetts is super blue, but we're puritanical as fuck.
We have like really weird morality around here.
It's like, yeah, we're totally liberal, but we're also like just hate sex in the most progressive way possible.
It's just...
The thing about Vance is that he is a terrible pick politically, because he does nothing for Trump.
Literally.
No one was looking at Trump.
You know who he needs to shore up with?
The women-hating sociopaths who are super ultra MAGA.
Those people are worried about voting for him, so we need to double down and lock that vote up.
My favorite thing was this one QAnon promoter was so desperate to try to explain how Vance was a good play, and he's like, Vance is from Ohio, so that makes him close to Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania, so they're going to like this Midwestern pick.
People on Twitter were like, there's nothing people in Pennsylvania hate more than people from Ohio.
They fucking hate Ohio so goddamn much in Pennsylvania.
It's incredible.
Has anyone seen Hillbilly Elegy?
I have never seen it, but everything I've read about the book and the movie is that it is incredibly disrespectful and mocking of the people that Vance is now begging to support him.
Movie night?
Someone posted, like, he's the first presidential candidate to admit to jerking off into a glove in a couch.
Someone posted a snippet of Hillbilly Elegy that said that.
I was like, oh god.
Hayley wants us to watch every movie.
Yes!
The movie list is getting so massive, now we have to watch Hillbilly LJ.
Well, we haven't done it.
Well, I mean, that is fair.
Hey, somebody had a vacation today and told his two co-hosts, who will go nameless, to get in touch with him for potential side podcast recording and never heard from a fucking person.
So I don't know if it's on.
I ought to show you guys.
Anyway, uh, speaking of sleeping on things, uh, man, I'm so good at segways, uh, Donald Trump fell asleep at this fucking thing.
Now, it sucks that he got attempted assassinated, and people, that means he gets a pass for doing anything, because even I was just like, well, maybe he's just medicated, you know, he needs to get his ear blown off, or partially blown off.
But at the same time, it's just like, come on, man!
It's boring.
How is everybody going to keep calling Sleepy Joe sleepy when Donald Trump is literally asleep at all of his major events?
Like, trial, asleep.
RNC, asleep.
Like, this man is sleeping Trump.
We have Sleepy, but still on his feet, Biden, versus actual asleep Trump.
Like, how is this race so close?
How is it possible that Trump might win?
No, he's absolutely ahead in the polls right now, you know?
Yes, because it turns out that him looking cool after surviving an assassination didn't hurt his chances.
Yeah, and he was ahead before that.
But yeah, but I mean, like, oh, people, people, oh, the, the, the bedwetting that I saw on Twitter after the shooting where people were like, it's over.
No, no one's beating him now.
We could, we could nominate Jesus and we're going to lose to him because they just, oh my God.
I mean, if that's the case, how about we choose someone else, then?
I mean, if we can't win with the guy we got, might as well take a flyer.
And if we squeak through, like, maybe now's the time.
Not for Bernie Sanders.
Do we have a young Bernie Sanders?
Do we have a Bernie Sanders that's less than 98 years old?
Do we have, like, a... that we can try to sneak in there?
Oh, man.
It is... That side of it is so weird, because there's been the replace Biden thing.
It looked like it had momentum for a while, and then it looked like it didn't have momentum for a while, and now I see more people whining about it online, and it is... Now it has to be dead.
All that talk, cease immediately.
That talk ended the moment Donald Trump turned slightly to the left, like, because Jesus Christ was moving him so that other guy could die, because he deserved it.
If you want any chance at beating this guy now, it is not going to be fractured.
It needs to be a unified front, and we need to figure out fucking something.
Like, the time for maybe Kamala Harris.
That shit is over.
It is done.
We are done with that conversation.
I think it'll continue until the actual nomination happens, which isn't obvious.
Oh yeah, it's so silly.
It's just wild that Trump just commits unforced error after unforced error after unforced error, and nobody cares.
Terrible vice-presidential pick.
Awesome.
Falls asleep at the RNC.
Who cares?
Doesn't call the widow of the guy who got murdered by Jesus' hand at the rally that he almost got killed at.
Whatever.
That's just Donnie being Donnie.
I mean, again, the evidence is mounting that that guy really deserved it.
Jesus made it happen.
Donald Trump was just like, Oh, should I go?
Oh, is that?
No, I'm good then.
And just literally puts the phone down, gets right back out to the links.
And for the record, I don't know that guy's name and I'm not going to say that guy's name.
Okay, I was not going to do that because I've spent this whole podcast talking about how happy I am that he's dead.
Or how he deserved to be dead.
His Twitter's still up, which I think is interesting.
This is the one thing I'll say because, like, obviously people were trying to find the socials of the shooter.
And he had a Discord that was basically supposedly found to be mostly empty or apolitical and that's basically it so far.
Whereas Corey was a cat turd reply guy and his Twitter has basically blown up and is now being kind of Like lionized by the right, especially if he followed you, because that was like the first thing Laura Loomer said.
She was like, Oh my God, he followed me, Rip.
Way to make it about yourself, Laura.
Literally!
The dead guy was giving me replies.
It's so cool.
Yeah, similar to like, I know, even though the, you know, it wasn't a It doesn't fit the narrative that it was like a lefty Antifa super soldier that shot him.
That's kind of the narrative that seeps in on the right.
And the Corey Kemp and Tori guy seems to be getting similarly like, martyred, like seen as a martyr in the way that like Ashley Babbitt is.
And yeah, his Twitter being up is definitely part of that, if you've seen it.
But yeah, he was some of his posts were like, wanting to Run over people.
Oh, yeah, he had some really dark posts.
The most brutal thing is that he literally posted right before the shooting.
He's like, go to the Trump rally!
Yeah.
Replying to Cat Third.
It is good for me to know this early in the game that if I try to do a funny riff about not IDing somebody, Hayley will yes and me by IDing that person.
I'm sorry.
I wanted to talk about the Twitter honestly because I was watching it just like basically click up the numbers in real time.
The stakes are pretty low here, so it's good to get this one out of the way now.
But man, that's, that's like one of those traps that Sarge used to set for me.
This is like a classic, this is a classic co-host situation.
For anyone who's been with us for a while, we're back with one of these stinky co-hosts.
Oh, it's been a while!
I miss it.
Sometimes I miss that boy, but I don't miss all the trouble he would try to get me into when Shout out to you, Sarge, if you're listening, which I know you are not.
Let's briefly touch base with Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch, on how it goes watching the right in Arizona before getting into our headline news segment, which, spoiler warning, will be us talking exclusively about Donald Trump and specifically the attempted assassination thereof.
So until we get there, Haley, Arizona, what's good?
I'll keep it in the theme this week and just talk about what happened at the RNC Arizona-wise.
Carrie Lake spoke and she led a boo against the media.
I heard she was told to tone down the rhetoric.
of her speech, given the nature of everything that's happened.
Oh yeah, I guess we didn't really touch about that when we were talking about the greater RNC,
but at least for the first 30 seconds or so, it seemed pretty obvious that the word had been out
to just be like, hey guys, tone it down a little bit, a lot of eyes on us.
And then by the time we got into the second day, they're just up there just being like, what's the best way to kill these brown folks?
Well, we're right back to it.
But for a little while there, it seemed like they got the message.
Yeah.
Oh, there was this hilarious thing where like Rob Johnson, Ron Johnson, the senator from Wisconsin, gave like a red meat trans baiting.
Hate speech.
And then someone went up to Ron and was just like, yo, Senator, wasn't this supposed to be the Unity RNC?
And he's like, oh yeah, I wrote a Unity speech, but they put up my old speech where I was a hateful bigot and I just read my old speech because I'm Ron Burgundy and I'll just read whatever the teleprompter says.
And if it sounded like I was impassioned, it was out of fear and shock.
I suppose I do owe the trans community an apology.
When I riff about the RNC, I've mostly been talking about them being racist, when in reality, most of it's been transphobia.
So I apologize for that.
I thought it was interesting at the RNC, too, that some people, I think, decided to do a unity speech.
Because I watched all day yesterday and the day before and there was even like, like Laura Trump and some others gave speeches that were like, we accept everybody whether you're black, white, gay or straight.
They did not include trans people, of course, because those were part of the people that they were still Hating on, but I thought that it was funny that they were just kind of like pretending that they're, like, cool with gay people.
As if, like, the Heritage Foundation isn't a sponsor of this fucking thing and Turning Point USA.
Also, Starbucks is now a sponsor there.
They decided to do a hard right turn after the whole unionization thing.
Just thought I'd throw that out there.
But as far as Arizona... Yeah, so Carrie Lake gave that speech, which was very funny because Um, there was this article that came out.
I just have to complain about this.
There was this article that came out, um, in like the Arizona Capital Times, which is what they cover like Yeah, all the fucking politicians.
And they were like trying to make this comparison that Governor Katie Hobbs has like incited inflammatory rhetoric because she's called Carrie Lake an extremist and it's like the examples they were using when it's like Carrie Lake was like calling for civil war and it's like these are not the same thing and like this is just making it so it's like oh what we can't call people like Trump An extremist or Carrie Lake an extremist because he got shot at?
Like, I don't think so, people.
And then she goes on stage and starts like, yeah, pointing and booing at the media and talking about how they're the enemy.
Like, I just thought this was an interesting response from Arizona media was that it was like, the people that are saying extremist things, if you call that out, And say it's extremism, you are equal.
Like, how about you shut the fuck up?
Right, Mike?
I saw you engaging with this a little bit on Twitter.
I saw you like that post.
Wow, called out.
No, I, like, the whole both sides thing, and you can't talk about extremism, blah, blah, blah.
The need to normalize Republicans is so ridiculous.
Like they even had like some, like the guy interviewing Biden this week was like, do you feel bad about the bullseye comment you used?
It's just, it's so ridiculous how these people are just like, yo, Democrats, you've got to turn down the temperature.
It's like.
What did we do?
Like, the arsonist is over there burning down the house.
If anything, we've got the fucking hose trying to put the fire out.
It's like, well, couldn't you get a bigger hose?
It's like, can't you guys talk about the arsonist?
No, no, we can't talk to the arsonist.
The arsonist gets to arson all they want, but you have to fight the fire better.
If you don't fight it correctly, then, like, it's both sides.
Sorry.
That's just the way this works.
Yeah, I think it's funny that they think that Big Morning Joe radicalized people, or is Joe Biden saying anything that's radicalizing people to go on a shooting spree?
He's talking about ice cream, man, and I can't hear half of what he's fucking saying.
You know, like, give me a break.
So yeah, that was funny.
This just like neutering of Carrie Lake's extremism in Arizona.
Like I have to pretend that she's not like calling for journalists to be hanged.
So anyway, there's that.
And then what else happened?
There's something Oh, okay.
So we've been talking about this lady Shelby Bush for a while.
And she recently made those comments about Maricopa County recorder Stephen Richer saying at a GOP meeting that if he walked into the room right now she would lynch him.
And she also made it a bit anti-Semitic because Richer is Jewish and she made some comments about him basically not being a good Christian person.
um and so that was like kind of even big news nationally a little bit like that because she's she's a a lead in the AZGOP she's part of the Maricopa County Republican Party and she's a delegate um in fact she was The person that... She was the one who made the announcement.
Yep, at the RNC, she announced the 43 votes for Arizona into the mic and was the one that was on the screen, surrounded by the whole Arizona group, which I just thought was hilarious when they're doing this.
How dare you, Democrats, incite inflammatory language right now.
And it's like, the lady that just called for our recording to be hanged is the lead of the Arizona delegates announcing the votes.
She wasn't even like, almost no Republican denounced her.
It was like, a few Republicans that did are the ones that face similar threats to Richer.
It was just kind of like, they all ignored it.
It moved on as if that wasn't a fucking wild thing to do.
So yeah, that's us at the RNC so far.
There's also been like...
They're doing this like everyday Americans kind of thing at the RNC where like almost 50 people who are quote unquote everyday Americans are also giving a speech and one of the ones from Arizona is this like rancher who basically lives at the border and they're presenting him as this everyday American as if he isn't this like Militia-friendly freak who is on Fox News like every week.
So I thought that was funny that our like everyday American is just like... A 3%er.
Yeah, basically.
So that's what's happening Arizona-wise at the RNC.
I'll be back for the shooting because the AZGOP posted angel flag.
Oh, of course.
Knock on.
Well, there we go.
The RNC touches even the most Arizonan of hearts.
Now it's time for us to move on to our succulent headline news segment and all the sweet Trump therein.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
That old boy Trump is at it again.
He just can't stop doing stuff every week.
Three different things Donald Trump did, maybe more.
You would think that this week, after being almost assassinated, that would be the biggest and only thing to talk about for the guy.
But you'd be fucking wrong.
There's a bunch of shit to talk about.
I have to ask before we start this.
Did any of you guys get weird texts from friends who only reach out to you about politics stuff?
Mike?
Not really.
I mean, I got, not a lot of normies got a hold of me.
And the thing was, is that when it happened, when it happened, it was like I was living in Bizarro World.
Because I received exactly one text from one person who told me they shot at Trump, but they didn't get him.
And after they sent that to me, I went on Twitter, and Twitter is now just burning down.
But I'm working at my day job.
And at the casino, nothing was going on.
Literally, all the TVs were still on sportsball.
Everyone at all the tables was just like, come on dealer, break!
Break dealer!
Yeah!
Big money!
It was so wild how the Trump shooting did not permeate into my meat space in any way, shape, or form.
Do you think it's possible that we as an American society have just been properly conditioned to know that Donald Trump is immune?
He's got plot armor.
So it's just like it like it like it would have been news if it had been like it like it would have been like everybody would have flipped over immediately if it had succeeded not just because of the ramifications but also because it'd be like holy shit really I thought for sure if anybody I'd be that's crazy I thought that that would never work in a billion years because that was sort of where I was at when I went like when I heard this like oh shit somebody shot at Trump I was just like oh okay well I'm sure he's fine It's so funny.
That's so funny.
That's actually the first thing I thought I was just like, oh,
funny. That's so funny. Oh my god.
But maybe it's like it to be fair, that may have just been because like the person breaking this news to me in the
discord server was it just like, yo, Trump is dead. It said they
said somebody shot at him or whatever. But again, like when I
read it, my initial impression is like, he's fine. He's fine.
He's good.
It was in the order, reaction, he's probably fine, and then, oh no.
And then, well, like, because I was just like, well, if somebody's going to do that, I feel like there's like...
He comes out great either way, you know?
Certainly better if he's alive.
But I mean, in terms of his political party, if he got dropped there, I feel like that's also real bad for a lot of things.
So, it's just like, hey, maybe not with the assassination attempts.
I mean, we all make funny jokes when we don't like a person, but like...
The situation is a lot stickier.
You can't really solve that problem with violence in that way, you know?
In the alternate reality where his head went kaboom and went splat like JFK, the country burned down.
Oh, so literally here's what happened.
So if you want to know the actual true facts, what happened initially when I heard that
Trump got shot at was it was in Discord and somebody was just like, hey, there was a shooting
at the Trump rally.
And I was just like, okay, that's crazy.
But do we know for sure that somebody was going for Trump?
Or maybe there was like a dispute in the crowd?
Because it's that sort of crowd.
Like I was just like, how many people out there are packing?
Are the people that like couldn't get past the metal detectors or whatever because they wouldn't give up their amendment right to And a lot of people don't go into the actual rally.
A lot of people watch from the outside, and I think that's part of the reason.
Especially because they showed the footage.
Like, they linked, like, somebody, like, linked the footage to the Discord or whatever.
And the crowd is surprisingly chill for an attempted presidential assassination, you know?
Like, everybody's just sort of, like, they're not scattering the way you would expect.
If it was like an active shooter situation like you like I would expect a little more emotion for like literally everybody.
I mean, the Secret Service that were right near him like got into action pretty quick, but like the people directly behind him, like, Considering the fact that there was a casualty next to them, like, you would think those people would be fucking diving, running, like, elbowing people, like, trampling folks.
Everybody was just sort of, like, craning their necks a little, and just being like, oh, oh, there's something, uh, oh, perchance is there some event happening, man?
Yeah, there was definitely a lot of screaming.
I saw someone saying about Vincent Fusca being like, poor man must be dead.
Yeah, Liz Kroken went at him.
Liz Kroken was like, Vincent Fusca's in on it.
Watch him, he didn't even react.
It was hot grifter on grifter action where Vince Fusca was the inside man directing this sniper wearing a fire.
Which is crazy because there's that footage of that from that one section that was like right next to the roof where that like guy clocks it like it's like five to ten seconds before any shots are fired and he's just been screaming, he's got a gun!
He has a gun!
Everyone's just like, buh?
A gun, you say?
Well, it is as red as an American, you know?
Oh, no!
There's a situation.
Or is there?
Let's just look around.
Is there a situation?
Ah, yes.
Donald Trump is up, but his fist is raised, so we are good.
Let's all politely return to our seats.
I was like, wow.
Y'all are... I mean, y'all are pretty comfortable around gunfire, I will give you that.
I mean... Yeah, there's another woman behind Trump that's, like, literally on her phone through the entire shooting, just crushing that candy crush like you read about.
And there's, like, another woman who... The shooting happens, and she kind of reacts to it, and then she pulls out her phone and starts recording.
Like, she's just like... She's like, oh shit, who's recording?
I mean, yeah, I don't know how I'd react.
I've never been in a gunfire situation.
I would imagine frightenedly, if I had to guess.
And this is the thing.
What happens in that space of time has created only a million conspiracy theories.
And it is so insane.
There's also a void because he didn't have, as far as we can tell, social media or nothing's been found yet.
So there's like an information void on that.
Yeah, as of this recording, we don't know fucking shit about this guy except he might have a 10-inch cock.
We know so little about this guy.
No, there's no fucking way.
That was such a- TMZ putting that out is so funny.
It's so funny.
It just highlights- A-plus news.
Yeah, so for people who haven't seen it, there's so little information about the shooter at this point.
TMZ got their hands on like a recording from him in high school, like 2020 or whatever, just like goofing with some people and talking about having a huge dick.
And that's just sort of, that's all we got.
Oh man.
After like Manifesto or whatever.
The FBI allegedly has access to his phone.
Maybe more will come out.
Maybe we'll learn some information there.
But whatever was going on with this dude, it didn't seem like the sort of thing where he wanted, he wasn't like, I'm gonna make a statement to the world.
He was just like, I'm gonna shoot this guy, you know?
I'm just gonna shoot him.
Yeah, and that's one of these big things.
So this happens, and everyone's like, of course this was an anti-fuss super soldier, illegal immigrant, Muslim, atheist.
He has brown hair, kind of, and I saw a lot of anti-trans rhetoric being thrown around.
Because, you know, you can see the shot of his, him being shot.
Long hair, equal trans.
I mean, that's normally what these fucking anti-trans people think, yeah.
To be fair, like, they'll look at, like, Margot Robbie and just be like, yeah, trans.
And they demonize trans people so much where they think that they're just, like, incredibly violent and doing, like... They have, like, a term called trans-tifa terrorism.
Like, and it's like, yeah, trans-antifa terrorism.
It's like an Andy Ngo thing.
Everything's a nail to a hammer.
They don't know how to act about being attracted to trans people, so they just use it derogatorily and point at people that they are attracted to.
They're just like, that hot lady's trans.
Sofia Vergara's trans.
Look at that bulge, trans.
And it's just because they're jerking off to her.
You know what was really good to have around this shooting is Elon Musk's Twitter.
Oh yeah, that was great.
Really helped out a lot.
It was super helpful whenever you saw a video clip of a thing, and you wanted to scroll beneath it to see if there was any, like, information, and it was just, like, a bunch of unrelated videos, like, Dad pushes kid on swing, you'll never believe what happens next.
I'm just like, what?
No, but, there's a guy, there's just this fascination, what's going on with this?
And I'd be like, like, yo, you want to watch this girl get knocked out?
And I'm just like, no, not in this instance.
I'd kind of like actual some, some news.
Yeah.
Like the thing about this was, is that immediately after it comes out that it's a boring white guy who was a registered Republican.
And from what we know, what little information we do have besides his massive penis, apparently he was a conservative.
Apparently his house had Trump flags.
Apparently, according to people that lived near him during the media interviews.
Yeah.
In 2016, the Trump campaign, they had a data file about his father, and his father was someone who had guns at a high percentile rate and was a hunter at a high percentile rate.
Didn't rub off on the kid.
And I don't mean that as a he missed joke.
He literally was kicked out of his high school gun club for being such a piss poor shot.
Yeah, that was the only else we learned that the high school rifle team and they're like, No, you suck.
Get out of here.
So, literally, that feels like the biggest motive that we have at this moment, was like, I'm gonna prove I'm a good shot!
I'm gonna drop the guy that was president!
You'll see!
You'll see I'm good!
And then not so much.
And that's one of the things about this that's so infuriating, is that people want a very easy cookie-cutter answer to this problem.
A lefty tried to kill the bad righty, and that's not what happened, and that's not often what happens.
And that's what makes people mad sad.
Also, even like in some seemingly hyper political assassination attempts, like it's sometimes not even political whatsoever.
Like the Gabby Gifford shooting is something that is often mentioned and that was in Tucson.
And the shooter, even though he expressed some pretty hateful views about women and some other pretty explicit stuff, ultimately he was deemed schizophrenic and he believed that Gabby Gifford was stalking him.
I thought you were going to do this weird pivot, but he's really in favor of progressive taxation.
No, he had weird politics in general and was somewhat apolitical in some ways, but his obsession with Giffords was that she was gang-stalking him, basically.
Excellent.
That's that's good.
Oh, yeah, it's like this guy might the reasons as until there's an actual reason put out.
I think we've been talking about this for the past couple weeks, too, as far as like the Walter Ringfeld, Walter Ringfield theft that happened at the Maricopa County office, because a lot of people are trying to assign some political motive to it when it A huge string of thefts came out after he did it.
And like, there could be a completely politically unrelated reason why he stole the election equipment.
It could be because he's a kleptomaniac.
But like, because he did an attack on a political institution, people think it's like politically motivated inherently when it might not be.
But I want to get in the blue one on here.
Oh, please.
Yeah.
So like, this is the thing is that I had so many rational, coherent people that started screaming and yelling about how this was staged.
It was set up.
How did they get that photographer in that spot to take that photo with Trump in the flag?
And it's like, you do understand this guy's campaigning for president.
There's going to be a lot of photographers around him.
There's gonna be a lot of flags around him.
I'm just going to say right now I've been to a Trump rally.
I've been to over a dozen of them at this point.
It's set up in a really specific way.
The hogs, the mainstream hogs, the general fans that come in from the actual city are kind of behind like a set of bleachers that usually get put around Trump.
And those are where, like, the actual, like, the Trump kids sit, uh, the elites as far as the local politicians that are in that town.
So if, like, you're in Arizona, it'll be, like, where, like, Doug Ducey might sit, Wendy Rogers, Paul Gosar, Andy Biggs, their families, their teams.
And then there's usually in the center of that is right where the media Pool is, which is literally media from, I'm not kidding, not even just every station in your state.
It'll be all the major networks and sometimes international networks.
I've talked to, like, Swedish media.
I've talked to, like, media from all around the world at Trump rallies.
So, like, they all kind of get set up professionally and there's, like, a whole, like, every station just has their camera set up.
So, yeah, there's fucking hundreds of cameras at these events.
And that's the thing, is that there's lots of photographers, there's lots of flags.
This kind of thing is going to happen.
And then, I actually had someone talk to me, like, why didn't the Secret Service have earpieces?
And it's like, because they've upgraded.
The earpieces they have don't have the wire thing attached to it.
It's just like a little thing.
It's a wireless thing you put in your ear directly.
And the Secret Service upgraded to that because they want to have Secret Service that are not immediately spotable by their earpieces.
So they can have undercover Secret Service around and about and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, so they can leave a roof unattended.
Oh yeah, so the big thing I've been reading about that is that the concern there is that the Secret Service has like three rings of protection around the President.
Like the tight ring around him up close, then an intermediary ring, and then a final last ring from the wide outside.
And that intermediary ring was where the shooter was firing from.
And that ring is supposed to be covered by local law enforcement working in conjunction with the Secret Service.
Basically, the state and local police are supposed to be part of that ring.
And I just saw a report that, as we were recording, where the local police were like, yeah, we don't have enough manpower to handle some of those areas.
Reporting has come out in the past couple days saying, like, the Secret Service have told the Trump campaign, guys, these outdoor rallies are unsafe.
Like, this is just a thing that happens, and we're not a big fan of them.
And the Trump campaign's like, well, we've stiffed all the people that we went to when we did indoor arenas in 2016 and 2020, so we have to do our outdoor arenas now, because we ain't gonna fucking pay for this shit, so get fucked!
That's literally my what I thought because I've been again, some of the Arizona ones because he did he keeps ripping off places in Arizona.
And some of the places it's like we're just in a dirt patch around a bunch of mountains like is this even safe?
You know?
Is anyone looking at that hill over there?
It's only 200 yards away.
I'm sure no one's climbing that hill right now.
I mean, it's definitely, I've even before this, given the vibes, I feel like this is just kind of a thrown together piece of shit.
I mean, yeah, like, I don't know, man, maybe events need to stop happening that highlight flaws in people's security or military because everybody's looking a little sus under pressure recently.
Yeah, like Russia invaded Ukraine, sus, like, you know, like China missiles filled with water instead of Like, fuel, because of corruption, sus.
Like, American, just unattended roof with a rifle shot of president, sus.
Like, imagine if the guy on that roof didn't wash out of his rifle club for being bad with a rifle.
Like, what are you talking about?
What the fuck?
Under so many other circumstances, that attempt is successful.
And then it's just like, what the fuck are we doing here, boys?
If there is a roof near a person running for President of the United States, especially somebody with as much heat on them as Trump, I expect one guy on that roof.
I don't care if it's the doughiest cop you got.
Put somebody sitting on a chair up on that roof.
There was a cop that quickly engaged him as he was trying when as he was getting up on the roof, but he pointed his gun at the cop and the cop retreated.
That was in the news.
Yeah, I mean, the local police department, like, partially being part of this fuck up is so on brand, especially because they're like, Oh, we didn't have the resources like this.
This department has a fucking tank.
Like, give me a break.
We do.
Classic Yvolde moment of a cop, but not as devastating, obviously.
The other big thing that people have been, the Blue Anon people have been screaming about is that Trump raised his fist and that this is proof that it was staged.
And the thing is, is if you watch the video, the video is really just, it's not great for Trump because basically a bunch of Secret Service tackle him.
And then the Secret Service started saying, it's like, we've got clearance to move.
We've got clearance to move.
And then Trump's like, oh, my shoes.
I need my shoes.
And basically Trump's wife... Well yeah, because his lips are open.
So without his powerful shoes everyone knows he's only 5'4".
Yes!
Yeah, so Trump's whining about his shoes under this pile of people for the longest period of time, and then when... I know that 20 seconds doesn't feel like a long period of time, but when you watch the video, it really is, how long it is between the dog pile and then him rising up and sticking up his fist.
And I'm sure in the time that all of this was happening, they got word that the shooter that they saw was down, and that They could start to move him.
And people are like, wait, let him stand up and raise his fist.
And it's like, well, you got a fucking 70 year old guy who's probably made out of balsa wood.
And that dude is like not letting you move him.
And it's like, if you start jerking Trump around, you're probably going to break him.
His arms aren't going to come right off.
The dude's not like fit.
He's in real bad shape.
So it's like, I'm sure the Secret Service in that split second was not happy with Trump doing the whole, No, they probably wanted to get him off stage as soon as possible because they probably didn't know if there was multiple shooters.
Right, exactly.
But I'm just saying that, like, your idiot, the idiot person you're trying to protect doing dumb things is part of the job of being a Secret Service agent.
It is not the Secret Service being like, OK, now, Mr. Trump, the camera's that way.
You should turn and look towards it.
Stick your fist up.
Yeah, it's all going great.
The other thing about this, the most important thing about all this for the Bluenauts stuff is you're now telling me that a 20-year-old loner was reached out to by the Trump campaign to do this and that this kid didn't tell any family or friends or anything about his impending plot to false flag the former president to get sympathy or attention or a cool photo or something?
They literally sound like Alex Jones.
I see a lot of common, I'm seeing like a common statement from on Twitter libs being like Trump needs to be charged for this because an innocent man died because of his staged op which is just like hilarious you are being hilarious you are being ridiculous and on top of the fact that it's just a random kid that they supposedly picked it's like You could tell it's lib conspiracy because they've never shot a fucking gun in their life.
You would get a good view of Trump with the gun he had, but shooting as you're basically being spotted by cops and people and adrenaline rush in the moment and you're telling me that Trump Picked a kid that like basically failed out of his gun club to shoot within a millimeter of his head for a photo op and some sympathy poll votes.
Dude, he's just crazy enough to work.
It's pretty hard to shoot a non-moving target with great accuracy like that.
And Trump, I watched that so many times as he got to how he was moving when that shot hit.
Like he was like, As Trump does, moving like wild, and it's like, oh yeah, for sure, that's definitely... The listener to Haley was moving around like a wacky, arm-waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube man.
And it's like, yeah, for sure.
Trump hired a guy to pop a bullet right next to his fucking head.
That's definitely what happened.
He was like, I trust in you to make the shot.
And even if you fail, my brains will explode.
Who cares?
It's funny because Alex Jones has conspiracies about this, but they're not as funny as bluing on ones right now.
I gotta admit, I wanna die.
So even if you miss, it would be great for me.
Either I become the president, the greatest president ever, or I die.
Either way is good by me.
Take the shot, kid!
It's just like, what?
That's... Can we talk about Angel Flag?
Bring up Angel Flag.
Angel Flag's great.
There was, because there's so much footage now coming out of, you know, every moment leading up to the shooting and during the shooting and after the shooting, that the audience was freaking out about this flag that got wrapped up.
It got like tangled up before Trump even went on.
And they were like, fix the fucking flag!
Fix the flag!
But now that Trump has been miraculously saved by Jesus Christ himself, There's like a lot of people saying that it was an angel flag.
It was actually in the shape of an angel.
And I saw even my own Arizona Republican Party Twitter account posting about angel flags, so that's my favorite personal right-wing brainworms of the week is the angel flag.
It's just so funny to me.
Oh, the angel flag is so ridiculous.
But I mean, the right wing side of this, I mean, immediately they had their anti-fascist super soldier, and then this guy turned out to be a white, young Republican moron.
And that ruined their fun.
So now they started pissing and moaning about the fact that Trump had women's Secret Service agents around him.
B.E.I.
Woke Secret Service, got him killed, nearly got him killed.
And then And now it's all about it being an inside job.
Every video is about how people were pointing out that the shooter had climbed the roof and that this was very obvious.
They're not exactly explaining who did it.
Oh, I mean, we had a couple of Congress people say that Joe Biden called the shot that like told them it's time to drop Trump.
Let's do this.
But the right-wing conspiracies about all of this are mostly that it's an inside job and that Trump's Secret Service was intentionally weakened to allow this to happen to him.
So I guess Q and Patriots aren't in control.
The guys that are all about Trump being untouchable and all that good stuff, they're having a really rough week of it.
They're trying to figure out how to explain and justify this.
There is an anti-Semitic angle with that Secret Service agent.
Um, because a lot of people are blaming the agent that was basically above Trump with the gun that returned fire.
And they're pointing to like a red bracelet that he was supposedly wearing and saying that it's a Kabbalah bracelet.
And it was because the Jews took him out.
Mossad took him out or whatever.
Oh, I saw someone go beyond the Kabbalah bracelet to being like, this is like a woke arm.
This is a weak lady arm.
This guy don't live.
This isn't a real, like, tough guy Secret Service agent.
It's like, if you're a sniper, you don't need to have a swole chest and guns on your arms.
That reminds me, though.
I meant to check, but I forgot, because of course I did.
But when Trump was at the RNC, how did his squad look?
I imagine that when he showed up at the RNC, his Secret Service was going to be the fucking Monstars.
They were going to be all 7'6", like, just the biggest fucking Okay, can I tell you how he came out last night?
I'm not sure.
It played like a two minute montage video on all the big screens of Trump doing that little dance he does, or two little fists, like little dance back and forth, like shakes your butt.
And it did just like clip after clip after clip of that.
And then he walked out with JD Vance and like his kids.
I'm not even kidding.
That was the opening.
It was awesome.
It was so funny.
I was just like, what the fuck was that?
When Trump walked out onto the floor, I don't know which night it was, but literally all of his secret service were dudes and they were all huge.
Oh yeah.
And he had a hundred of them.
They were just like, Oh God.
Like he had a private army of just men.
Beefy six foot three men all around him.
All of them were fired because of the- I'm back to the- Come back.
Comedy podcast, don't want this to happen.
Happy he didn't get assassinated, but it would have been pretty funny if there was somebody up in the rafters that got another shot off at him.
Just like, no matter what they do, no matter how many guys they bring around, they're just like, quick, there's another Republican in the rafters trying to kill Donald Trump.
Oh my God, he's not trans at all.
I repeat, not trans at all.
Oh no!
Caucasian cisgender male detected.
We don't know how to approach the situation.
Who do we have to get to authorize a fire on this?
Oh yeah, that was, that was another thing that fucking, it was like a 4chan thing where like someone was like fucking posting that someone posted claiming they were the counter sniper.
They're like, yeah, I saw the guy for three minutes.
I did not get authorization to open fire on them until after the shooting.
This whole thing stinks to high heaven.
It's like, and of course the chan boards were like, Oh, look, it's true.
It's a job.
It's cute.
He's a sniper now.
We love you.
Take our money.
I just remembered that we have to bring up, and also this is kind of your expertise, Mike, you know, almost political assassination.
You got into a little Twitter tiff with our state representative, Alex Colladin.
Oh yeah, that guy.
Oh yeah, that clown.
This is a lawmaker here that honestly some local progressive media outlet tried to pretend like this guy's like... I love that the lawmaker in Arizona, Mike Rades, referred to as, ah, that guy.
I know!
It's just like, this guy has been like, he's worked as like a lawyer for like multiple Stop the Steal cases here.
He is just like, he's a pretty Well, I wish I could tell you that Mike Raines and Elle respected Arizona, and I wish that that news could be delivered daily, but it could not, because it would be a lie.
No, yeah, that guy, he said something about how the CIA was going after Trump the way they got Kennedy, and I was like, oh my god.
I'm like, buddy, buddy.
He said, the CIA, FBI got rid of JFK and are trying to get rid of Trump.
What do these two men have in common?
They took on the Deep State and tried to restore the Republic.
And I'm like, but like, all these people, I love them.
I love them because anytime any one of you fucking clowns wants to talk about JFK, you know nothing.
I want to make this clear.
Every conspiracy theorist knows nothing about the actual facts of the stuff they're talking about.
And that guy, he dipped down on me very quickly.
He replied.
Yeah, he didn't return fire.
No, he ran.
I was gonna ask him on the pod.
Yes, yeah, come on the pod, buddy.
Let's do this.
But there was a bunch of QAnon dipshits right before the Trump shooting.
They did a Twitter space and the Twitter space was just like 9-11, JFK, 2020 rigged, all this stuff.
And I listened and it was not like an FJFK 2020.
And I listened to it, I listened to it in order to hear what they said about Kennedy.
And they didn't even bring him up.
They just threw JFK in the title of the thing to draw people in.
Because they can't actually talk about these things.
Their 9-11 talk was literally dancing Israelis.
They had nothing else to say.
Oof.
Yikes.
Yeah.
All that horse shit.
I wish any of these people had anything to talk about when it came to their actual conspiracy theories.
Actually talk about the facts and evidence of the things that you're talking about.
That challenge is an impossibility for these people to achieve.
They just can't do it.
They don't know anything about anything.
Okay, well, we could talk about this for a lot longer if we really wanted to, but unfortunately we have to talk about other Trump-related shit this week.
Let's go ahead and talk about how his classified documents case has been for the time being just kind of kiboshed.
Wow, what clownery.
Absolute buffoonery.
I mean, like, again, I would be shocked if it was anybody but Donald Trump.
I mean, we have some pictures of classified document boxes sitting in a bathroom at Mar-a-Lago.
They'd be like, is the bathroom at a golf course where you're supposed to store classified documents for the White House?
But, you know, it's Donald Trump, so the answer to that is he does what he wants, you know?
Yeah.
So, uh, basically Eileen Cannon, uh, who is the terrible Trump appointed judge who was literally, uh, put into this position of power to do this shit.
She cited what would, what would you consider to be a quote unquote novel interpretation of how, uh, special counsels are appointed by the DOJ?
Uh, When the Jack Smith immunity case was being brought before the Supreme Court, there was a group, I forget who they were, but there was a group who basically floated this idea around and nobody took it seriously.
I saw QAnon get all kinds of hot and bothered over there like, oh Jack Smith illegally appointed, whole case getting thrown out, aw yeah!
And from what I was seeing, I think Clarence Thomas kind of raised an eyebrow to it and said, hey, maybe you've got a point there.
But none of the other eight justices even gave it the time of day.
And then Eileen Kinnan was just like, you know what?
They're right.
This Jack Smith, incorrectly appointed, shouldn't be on the case.
Case dismissed.
Boom.
Nailed it.
Jump shot.
Switch.
That has blown the minds of most of legal twitter and of anyone who actually cares about this shit.
I'm just a simple small-town podcaster but to me this just seems like the culmination of her making a series of ever crazier ever larger rulings in the case and just each time being reminded that she is a judge and therefore it's just sort of like Immune to fucking law and sanity and reason.
So she was just like, small thing in Trump's favor with no real precedent or reason.
And everybody was just like, that's crazy.
And then nothing happened.
And she was like, okay, medium ruling in Trump's favor that flies in the face of everything and has all scholars baffled.
And everybody was like, Harumph!
Harumph!
And then no repercussions, because what are you going to do?
She's a judge.
So she's just like, okay, well, fuck it.
If I'm untouchable, I'll make, I'll do the big one.
I'll do the big one.
And even if this is the time where some sort of repercussion befalls me, it's looking pretty good for Donald Trump right now.
And I'm sure that he will help me out if he becomes president again.
It's just like, ah yes, blatant in the face of everyone, including Sanity and Reason, and like literally all precedent, and just like every legal scholar and other lawyer, judge, anybody you want that's a professional on the matter, like, just lying in the face of all that just open, open, bald-faced corruption.
Once again, coming from a judge.
So like the presidential race is like pretty crazy.
And it's like really important.
And it's always really important.
And it was a few years back when it kicked off a lot of this whole mess.
But again, like our country really needs to start looking into this fucking judicial shit.
Yes.
The fact that judges could just be like openly hella corrupt because they're judges and fuck you.
It's like, oh, yeah, I have tenure now.
I don't have to actually do anything.
It's like, what?
No.
Like, that's crazy talk.
Yeah, I mean, just looking at all the... I think the quickest way in America now to get Q-pilled and then become a conspiracy nut is to look at all the bullshit going on in our legal system, because they finally had the corrupt judge in the Young Thug case recused, and now they're bouncing it around other judges.
I think Young Thug is on his third judge at this point.
Um, I, right before we recorded this podcast, I just got, I read through the, or I listened to a video breaking down the egregious bullshit in the Alec Baldwin case.
The prosecution was just trying to railroad this guy.
Thankfully that judge, like, did you see the dramatic opening of the Manila envelope?
And then it was just like, wow, like.
It's just like, all of a sudden, court seems crazy.
Like, it just seems like the movies with just, like, insanely corrupt judges and prosecutors, like, literally sneaking evidence into another, like, fucking file so that way it could be dramatically revealed during this, like... I was just like, what the fuck, dude?
Our legal... that part of our legal system is just supposed to quietly work.
Like, I don't want to hear no bombastic shit coming from judges.
They have too much power.
I just want them to sit there and be as impartial as they're supposed to be.
Right!
Yeah, it's been insane.
Literally, my workplace has, for like a month straight, my workplace was nothing but Karen Reed here.
And then like from that, I then got and I then found out about the Young Thug case.
And then from that, and then when the Alec Baldwin case got dismissed, I saw a bunch of like news about Brady violations.
What does that mean?
And then when I finally saw the video I saw today, I was like, oh wow.
They, it's, it's, it really just goes to show you how much the prosecuting offices and these judges When no one's looking at them, they're obviously fucking with defendants.
They're obviously committing these kinds of violations that are egregious.
Yeah, like, how many of the jurors have sort of, like, come forward to that Karen Reed thing to be like, no, we all agreed that she didn't do it.
Not mistrial.
Innocent.
Like, we came to a conclusion.
We don't know what's going on.
We came to a conclusion that she did not commit murder, too.
We were kind of... we were conflicted on the involuntary manslaughter.
That's the thing, is that, like, literally what is happening there is... it's unconstitutional.
Like, she should have been acquitted of second-degree murder, and she can't be tried for that again under double jeopardy.
It's insane!
It's absolute madness.
This is so... And the judge is just like, uh, no!
Uh, mistrial!
Uh, gavel, gavel!
It's over!
I'm leaving!
And it's just like... What the fuck?
What are we doing?
Yeah, it's crazy.
I mean, if I ever decide to become a right-wing grifter and get in on this sweet, sweet cash for, like, being a lunatic, this would be my end.
Like, this would be how I would get, like, billed against the government and start seeing the conspiracy around me.
I mean, I'm not gonna lie, my whole life growing up, like, you know, you...
You hear in fiction, like fiction from the old, from like small towns and like the Wild West and like back in the day.
And they talk about judges, like this position of like omnipotent power, like on the judge.
Like I have an in with a judge and it's like, oh shit.
You watch The Wire, they're all talking about judges.
But like, I was just like, I don't know.
It's like a regular citizen.
I don't really know that much about judges.
Like, I don't know.
Like, isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Vote no on all judges, listeners.
But that just turns out that I just needed to wait until real life caught up to fiction.
So now it's just like, yes, the judges corrupt officials with omnipotent power.
It's so ridiculous.
All right.
Wasn't there one other Trump-related thing we need to talk about?
Or am I losing it?
There's just the two big headlines.
There's always next week.
Yeah, I guess we could just wait.
Fuck Trump for the week.
And let's talk to our listeners via mailbag.
Our listeners got questions.
We got answers.
It's time for Q&A.
Eric the Team State Operative asks, I posted this one too late last week, so here we go again.
What fictional setting would you most like to live in?
Star Trek.
Star Trek sounds boring.
Unfortunately the answer to this question is really boring, but like as far as I know Star Trek is just a progressive utopia, right?
Like Star Trek Earth is just perfect.
Oh yeah, Star Trek Earth is, yeah, there's no resource needs.
Everything is taken care of.
We don't even have capitalism.
You can just do whatever you want.
And if you're bored, you can just sign up to work some position on a spaceship, on a starship, and just fuck off from Earth and go do a thing someplace.
As long as you're willing to be like an engineer or something.
Right.
And holodecks.
Literally, if you just want to throw your life away and live in a fantasy world, that's fine.
The problem is, I don't have the stamina for a lot of the cooler ones.
Like, it would be tempting to say, like, Pokemon, right?
But first of all, I'm 40.
You don't really hear a lot of Pokemon stories where, like, you know, like, I think I'm too old to start my Pokemon journey.
Especially because your Pokemon journey just requires, like, the world's most incredible amount of cardio.
They're literally just like, here you go, scrappy 12-year-old kid.
Here's your first Pokemon, and now just go walk the entire continent barefoot, like the Incredible Hulk on the TV show.
You just walk, and you walk and you fight dangerous creatures, and sometimes crime syndicates.
That's what your life is now, 12-year-old child.
That's what you do now.
That's your job.
And then, you know, like, yeah, I guess, I guess if I got the start when I was 12 and I knew the score, therefore, like, I was fucking six pack ab like a Chinese soldier, just like ripped muscular 12 year old ready to tackle the continent and the fucking fire breathing creatures and stuff, then Pokemon Universe would be pretty cool.
But I'm 40, so I want to, all I care about is comfort.
So Star Trek seems pretty cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, if I was Force-sensitive, Star Wars would be cool, because I like the idea of Star Trek Plus, like, innate magic that I could wield.
That would be fun.
I guess, but almost no parts of Star Wars that we see are utopias.
They're all shitty and horrible.
Yeah, I get that.
But I'm just saying, the thing is that in Star Wars, it's just magic.
I like the magic thing.
In Star Trek, it's all technology.
No one has any weird stuff where they just throw something at you with telekinesis or anything.
Which would be cool.
I mean... Well, I mean, they do run into, like, a different space god every, like, week or whatever, you know?
Like, there's... Like, Star Trek is riddled with space gods.
Oh, oh!
Oh, wow!
This podcast... You could be Q!
You could be Q in Star Trek!
Yes!
Yes, exactly, yes.
But I don't think you get to choose your position, I think.
If you're just a regular schlub in a place...
Star Wars seems like... I mean, I would die on Tatooine immediately.
I'm not going to moisture farm.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Like, I would fall off a rope bridge in the forest of Kashyyyk and get devoured by the horrible things that lurk in the
dark immediately.
You know?
You know.
Haley can only think of the grim reality of Arizona.
I mean, I would pick Star Trek too.
It's obviously like the best in terms of like, actually, this is a positive universe, you know?
Like, I'd like to live in Borderlands, but you're hit or miss what planet you're living on, you know?
It's like, you could be living on a real shithole.
You could be living on like a fascist robot hell planet.
Yeah, like, I'd love to live in the TransMet universe if I was some sort of, like, capitalist overlord and I had the money for that to be awesome and not horrifying.
Or at the very least, if I had enough money to get that surgery where they put your consciousness into a swarm of nanomachines that can reconfigure atoms, then I would go to TransMet immediately, because that sounds like the perfect existence for me.
So thank you for that question.
MeBad says, Screw politics this week.
Favorite frozen treat or way to stay cool?
Air conditioning.
That's my favorite way to stay cool.
But favorite treat?
Strawberry ice cream or a shake or something.
Strawberry shake.
I like strawberry anything.
I have a lot of favorite treats.
I'm partial to milkshakes.
I really like mango lassi.
But shout out to... I used to get this with Mike, where we would hang out back in the day periodically, and unfortunately they took both of the components off the fucking menu.
But Alogo Dairy by Mike had a place that made an incredible frap, which is just like what a milkshake is for the rest of the country.
The New England is weird.
Anyway, it was half and half ginger ice cream and green tea ice cream, and it made a very good Crap.
It was incredible.
It was the thing I got every time that I went there.
But then they got rid of both of those specialty ice creams because it turns out white people don't order a lot of green tea or ginger ice cream, you know?
Way to fail us, our demographic.
Way to fail us.
I do love ice cream.
That dairy is the best.
But recently, our work gave us a treat where they just had a food truck run up and give us shaved ice, and we got to put our slush syrup on it.
And so the slush, which is something I haven't had in a dog's age, is now something that's piqued my interest.
The last time I was at the Salem Willows, I got a blue raspberry slush from one of the infinite number of places that will give you such a delicacy.
The thing that was hilarious was they gave it to me with a straw and the thing was way too thick for the straw.
The employee obviously did not understand the viscosity of their slushes.
It would be like a Wendy's employee handing you a straw for your frosting.
I mean, that's kind of like, that's kind of the rub at, like, fucking McDonald's milkshakes.
Like, well, it's been a while since I had one because they're gross.
But the last time I did, I remember they were just like, all right, here's your thing.
And I was just like, okay, well, how long do I have to wait before I can actually get this up to the straw?
Because, you know, the end result isn't even really that good.
It's like I'm waiting for mediocrity.
This sucks.
Yeah, but it's like, yo, buddy, when you give me a slush, this viscous, you just give me a spoon with it.
I just like spoon the slush.
And then when it melts a little, I can drink the slush juice.
This ain't happening.
See, I mean, I don't know if I want to slush that thick.
That seems like exactly the wrong way for that.
I either want it thin, like a slush puppy or whatever, cut straight up through the straw, no problem, no resistance, like a little watery, you know, or just like the other way, like shaved ice or whatever, like the icy ball or whatever it used to be called, you know, so that way like hard, like real hard, like something you can get your teeth into.
Some sort of weird middle-of-the-road slush seems like a weird viscosity for it.
Right, that's what I'm saying.
That's why it was kind of like, ah!
But now that I'm on the slush thing, I'm looking around all the local mom-and-pop stores and 7-Elevens and being like, oh right, the slush, that's a thing I can get.
Maybe I'll partake of you again one day soon.
My grandchildren devouring lobsters and slushes.
Yes!
Thank you for the question.
PJ asks, favorite conspiracy, or just says, Jeremy Daniels was behind it so that he could see what it's like to get shot in the face for a change.
Oh god, if I'd only thought about that quicker, I could have brought up the rimshot sound effect for the apologies.
But you didn't.
You're always so bad at the soundboard.
I'm really terrible.
We'll never be a zoo crew at this rate.
No.
Oh, did you see that Middle America zoo crew thing I sent you?
What?
I don't know.
There was a TikTok that was just like, they were like, Midwest radio is the craziest.
And it was just this ridiculous video intro to like, the kind of zoo crew show.
It was like, from the Exotic Studios, from the Pro Bash Shop Tower.
It just went on and on like that.
And all the DJ hosts had, like, the ridiculous names and all that good stuff.
You mean Crazy Mike and the Gator?
Yes, Crazy Mike and the Gator!
Don't worry, I still remember what our stupid names were in case we ever needed to do, like, a bonus content Zoo Crew episode.
Which was funny, because back in the day Sarge would always just be like, I don't know what I would do for a Zoo Crew thing, and now he doesn't have to think about it, because now Hayley would have to think about who she is on the Zoo Crew.
Hayley, what's your Zoo Crew name?
I don't know what that means.
Oh my god.
You know what?
Well, instead of us explaining it to her, we'll make her do homework.
Hayley, your homework assignment is to find out what the Zoo Crew is.
Okay.
I'll do it.
Send me one TikTok, I'll get on a rabbit hole.
Okay, yeah.
It'll be much funnier for you to explore Zucru action.
Okay.
I'll get back to you next week.
Excellent.
Pancake Peasant asks, it seems the GOP is beyond reforming itself, at best.
Maybe they just pretend their fling with fascism never happened.
How long can they keep this insanity up before they collapse or move on?
Well, it seems like it's going really strong right now, so... Yeah.
Right.
So, I don't know.
I think maybe they've got some good points, you know?
Just in case they're ever looking back at this and playing it at my trial, if they even give me one, instead of just shooting me dead for being too liberal.
I don't know, man.
I think it's pretty great.
You know?
I think guys, I've always loved America and whites.
Oh, God.
Sweating.
There's only two genders, and that's just the way it is.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm so sorry.
The Republican party is unfavorable with the mainstream Republican and they have, they're more, they're more, uh, they're more into MAGA, the MAGA movement than the like traditional, uh, conservative movement.
So even after Trump, unfortunately, uh, MAGA conservatism, which is just American fascism will, um, be popular.
It'll be the dominant force in the Republican Party.
It's not going away.
And this is the thing.
I've seen people say stuff like, you can't just vote for the non-fascist party because then they won't move and do the things you want.
It's like, oh, so you need the fascists to win every now and then as a little treat.
It's a little treat for the fascists that they get to hold power for a little while.
And then guess what?
You don't get to vote anymore.
That's how this works.
Even if Doug Polk's fucking fanboys are going to tell me otherwise.
Oh my god.
That was delightful.
The poker part of my screen name got me into trouble.
I did a bad thing.
Get rekt.
I mean, you don't know shit about poker or politics, loser.
I know.
I'm incredibly stupid.
You're my fucking bitch.
And our final question is, which group is loudest in the Q-verse?
Angels saved Trump or the assassination was planned slash fake?
Angels saved him.
Oh, that's so cool.
That's so great.
I love that.
I love that.
Really?
I felt the exact opposite.
I mean, I knew that was going to be the answer, but like, again, I liked all the Q stuff much better when it was... when something like this happened.
Immediately, all of them would be crying in one single voice.
It was an op.
The operations are happening.
Either good or bad.
Somebody is doing this.
Everybody calm down.
This is an operation.
It was an operation, but the angel saved him because ultimately the feds and Biden and the deep state can't beat God, baby.
Right.
Like a lot of the Q people, because again, there are, there are the ones who are trying to figure out how Trump faked it for the 11D chess move, but the people that are accepting that the deep state didn't take a crack at him and missed and that God stepped in and saved him.
Um, Those people are rehashing the Q-drop of, like, there's a beam of light flying.
What it looks like to your lizard brain when you look at it, is it looks like a ray of light is coming out of the water.
And what happened was people actually did research about this, and it was actually a helicopter firing a searchlight downward, and that is what the light actually is.
But Q made a Q-drop where there was just this ray of light.
It's a straight line.
It looks weird.
And Q was like, it wasn't supposed to happen.
This isn't a game.
And the point of that was that QAnon decided that what Q was talking about was that someone fired a missile at Air Force One to blow it up and kill Trump.
And See?
Awesome.
So much cooler than angel religious stuff.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I love talking about religion, but there are way cooler podcasts for us to be doing for that, you know?
I just think Angel Flag is so funny.
It's just a tangled flag.
It's just a flag.
And they were pissed about it beforehand.
They were like, fix the fucking flag!
I liked Q when it was a religious spy thriller.
And now it's just religious fascism.
Ugh.
Well, I mean, if QAnon... The thing is that they're so religious now that they can't come up with Trump has, like, the fucking, like, energy field around him.
That he's not Fortune from, like, Metal Gear Solid.
Who can just redirect bullets with her mind and luck powers.
They love their mythos of Trump being the God-picked warrior and all this stuff.
So that's why the bullet missed him.
And as I have pointed out to these people repeatedly, We killed the sniper dude immediately after he fired at Trump here, yet the people that fired a missile from a submarine to blow up Air Force One, which by the way is mass murder on top of an assassination because there's probably like I don't know 50 or so people as the staff that are flying on Air Force One, so we're killing like
Four dozen people on top of the president just to get at Trump.
And Trump and Q team and our legal apparatus in America was like, yeah, we'll let those people just sit on that for a while.
We'll arrest them when the time is right.
Trying to murder the president.
No big deal.
It's just something that happens.
Temporous flare and you take a submarine and you shoot a nuclear missile at Air Force One.
Let bygones be bygones.
It's all cool.
It's all good in the hood.
No problems.
Shit happens, you know?
What are you gonna do?
I actually do have a conspiracy that maybe you would appreciate, El.
This is what a former state lawmaker here blamed.
And he's now running for Senate.
So hold on a second.
When we discussed Chile's Operation Condor coup, where the CIA assassinated the president of Chile, Allende, we discovered Pepsi was involved.
So after 27 years in the SS, the current director leaves the SS.
And works at Pepsi for a few years and then is back at SS in charge of the entire thing?
Really?
And denies Trump more security while the Dems try to remove it all together?
What the hell?
So this means Pepsi did it.
Pepsi is tied to the Kennedy assassination also.
Yeah?
Look at that fucking poster behind Mike's head!
Tell me that doesn't look like Pepsi!
It is Pepsi.
There are people who will talk about how LBJ, Nixon, and all these other people were really close to each other in Dallas, were really close to each other in Texas when Kennedy was murdered.
What was going on?
And the answer to that question was that Nixon had lost the presidential election, that he lost running for governor of California in 62.
So he was a corporate attorney working for Pepsi in 1963 and he was at a Pepsi convention in Texas when the assassination happened and it just happened to be kind of in that neck of the woods.
So that's why Richard Nixon was like kind of somewhere near where Kennedy got murdered.
It wasn't actually a big plot.
It was just his corporate beneficiaries, who he was working for, were having a convention.
He was in town.
And that was it.
But yeah, so every now and then you'll have like some Kennedy nut being like, by the way, did you know what Pepsi did to whack the president?
And it's like, no, tell me.
I mean, your poster is a vintage Pepsi with Kennedy and the crosshairs.
Yes, that's exactly right.
Yes, drink Pepsi, or else!
Pepsi or Jess?
Pepsi.
Pop the top.
That's the other thing, the reverse of all this, is that God saved Trump, so God fucking murdered Kennedy, that's what you're saying?
Yes.
The magic bullet, like, God was like, hey, wait a minute, I want to curve this bullet to blow a hole through Governor Connolly's chest, and then I want to go, like, lower Oswalt's heart rate so he can get the head shot off nice and clean and blow that president away from me.
Because that's how this works, if God saved Trump and God murdered Kennedy.
That's your universe.
That's the world you've created, guys.
God's will.
That's what I've heard.
Yep, I'm just playing by your rules.
God's plan, you know?
Like that famous song by Drake.
How's the plan going for him these days?
I think his mansion's flooding.
It seems like he's having a great go at the plan right now, you know?
And so finally, what are you guys looking forward to?
Uh, dude, I'm like a sick weirdo and I have like very specific stuff that just like really puffs my marshmallows, so to speak.
And I just found out about this Star Wars 5th edition, which is just like the 5th edition D&D rules but modified for Star Wars, which is a thing I don't really care that much about.
But they put a lot of time and attention to it.
If you show me such a thing, I will be inclined to start playing around with it.
So I'm looking forward to throwing on some loud music in the headphones and just dicking around with a new character system.
Because I'm a freaky weirdo who loves tabletop role-playing games more than almost anything.
Hayley, what are you looking forward to?
Um, this week to end.
And like a new news cycle to kind of finally take over.
That'd be cool.
That'd be nice.
And I am looking forward to finding people to play Detective City of Angels with, because Elle recommended this game to me, and I immediately watched a to-play tutorial, and I'm in.
I'm all the way in.
Hell yeah, Dicks Across LA.
I wish I had more board gaming friends so that we could wrestle up a posse and play together sometime.
That would be pretty nice, because, yeah, that game is a lot of fun.
I've only played it once, but it was satisfying to win the one time I played.
That's always good.
All of my opposing detectives decided to go and interrogate witnesses and such, and I was the only savvy one who decided to go investigate the old crime scene, and it rustled up quite the clue.
I don't want to spoil anything for anybody who might be out there playing it or interested in playing it, because there's a limited amount of replayability on one side of the table, and then like essentially unlimited on the other side of the table, so.
The chisel is calibrating.
Yeah.
Anything else besides the ticks across Los Angeles?
No, that's about it.
I'm just really happy for my new board game.
And also, I've just been a good boy this week, so I'm just going to try to keep walking a lot and not eating a ton.
Because I'm large, as we've mentioned on this podcast.
And this QAnon has brought to my attention a few times that I could stand to lose a few pounds.
So, I've been back on that wagon as well.
Couldn't we all?
Unless you, you know, don't want to.
Or just, like, look better, think, or, you know, whatever.
The world is your oyster.
Be as fat as you want to be.
I chose very.
But I'm scaling that back later in life.
But up until this point, I was just like, dude, very.
Maximum.
Why moderate your pizza intake?
Fuck that.
It's like sex isn't that good.
Go.
Go for the pizza.
Anyway, thank you everybody for listening and supporting the show.
It's time for us to fuck off.
We'll jump in our pizza delivery van and head out of Hellworld for the week.
Thank you so much for your support.
If you want to support the show harder but for free, you can give us a Firestar review wherever you get your podcasts from.
If you have money, we will happily take it from you if you want to give it to us.
You can visit patreon.com slash TocaPolitics.
A donation of $5 or more per month gets you access to all of our bonus content, past, present, and future.
There's many, many dozens of hours of stuff on there, so go check it out.
Thank you to all of our beautiful babies who are already supporting us and therefore chillin'.
Up in the VIP crib.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, Lord knows we understand it.
You can do some good with it in a variety of ways, but the one we've always suggested is love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our original theme song that was remixed accidentally by Mike Raines into what you heard at the top of the show.
Breath?
Thank you to Frosty, who I needed a breath for, because I guess Mike had actually reached out to poor Frosty this week for some stuff, and then we didn't end up using it.
I don't know if that was true or if that was just a... No, I was joking.
Oh, he was just a goof?
This whole 10 minutes, I've been like, oh man, we never got to that Frosty stuff.
Well, Frosty, I think you do listen to the show, so I demand that you go on Twitter and chastise Mike Rance for tricking me into thinking that I owed you an apologize, an apology.
Smash him.
Smash him digitally with your powerful digital fists.
And for the listeners who are not Frosty, you can check out Frosty on Twitter, at FrostyBio.
You can find the show on Twitter at hellworld with a Q instead of an O. I am on Twitter at hellworldfatty, spelled the same way as the show in terms of QVO.
You can find Haley, various social media, at Arizona Right Watcher AZRW, scoping things out for you, the non-Arizonan.
Or for, I guess, also for the Arizonans in the house as well.
And then on migraines, of course, on all social media at PokerPolitics.
So, for another successful episode of the Adventure to Hell World podcast, I am from one of your hosts, Mysterious L. Joined, as always, by my co-host Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, migraines, a.k.a.
PokerPolitics.
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