We recorded this before Trump got convicted so you'll enjoy our conversation about QAnon pinning their hopes on the Truth Social Juror. Also we talk about Trump's massive rally in New York. We also get into Alito's flags and StewAnon going after Amanda Moore, friend of the pod. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| 🎵Intro Music🎵 content warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in-depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello everybody, I am Mike Rains, aka PokerandPolitics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week I am joined as always by Haley, aka ArizonaRightWatch. | |
| Hello everybody. | |
| Wow, what's going on with my voice today? | |
| I'm sorry that I just did that. | |
| Hello. | |
| Hello. | |
| And I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle. | |
| Incredible. | |
| No topping that. | |
| Clearing the throat into the microphone to top the show. | |
| What could one person do to possibly contend with that? | |
| Well, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. | |
| Last night, I was watching a pickleball tournament hosted by DJ Pickle. | |
| Is pickleball culture in your guys' state? | |
| Yeah, we have old people. | |
| No, this is a young people thing, and I'm pretty sure that I... Yeah, but they got it from old people. | |
| I mean, let's be real. | |
| Pickleball was not invented by young people. | |
| It's just like a dozen sports that already existed, but just slower. | |
| It is. | |
| I was watching it last night and I was a little confused because it seems like, well, okay, so first of all, I've been walking, I've been going around town noticing pickleball courts everywhere and like big pickleball facilities and I'm like, what's going on? | |
| And then I went to Target the other day and they had this whole section For pickleball fashion. | |
| And I was like, what in the fuck is happening? | |
| And then last night I was just randomly getting fed stuff by Apple TV and I got fed pickleball TV. | |
| And it was like the Arizona teams, which the teams are very funny because it's like outskirts, suburbs town, like the Gilbert Gladiators and the Surprise Stingers, which is like exurbs here, which feels very pickleball culture. | |
| But then when I was like kind of getting into it because I noticed like they kept hawking some like supplements and all this shit and I think I uncovered like a pickle- they literally have pickleball cocktails this supplement place. | |
| There's like a supplement scam kind of attached to our pickleball teams and it seems like they own like the pickleball courts and these supplements and a bunch of shit and I was like I'm just trying to chill and watch pickleball, something I never really heard of before and I'm running into scams so that was my night. | |
| It's only a scam if it doesn't work. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| Have you tried those supplements? | |
| No, I don't know if they make me go to Pickleball or not. | |
| Yeah, dude, those supplements may make you fucking sick at Pickleball. | |
| The slowest version of hitting a thing over a net there is. | |
| My mom had a Pickleball career that lasted a few months before she retired from Pickleball, | |
| because she's too old for that shit. | |
| That was the verdict she reached because she would go on these cruise ships and all the olds on the cruise ships would play pickleball and she's like, I need to learn pickleball so I can battle the other olds on the cruise ships. | |
| And then after a few months, she's like, this, my knees cannot tolerate pickleball. | |
| Even, like, this being an old person sport, this is still a bridge too far for me. | |
| So, uh, hard pass. | |
| Did she take the pickleball cocktail? | |
| Maybe she should. | |
| That I don't know. | |
| She needed to get stuffed up. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah, my mom never got on the HDH for pickleball. | |
| No, she wasn't doing the, uh, She wasn't trying to evade the drug testing of the rigorous pickleball drug testing circuit in order to get an advantage. | |
| She just went to a couple different courts in the area. | |
| This one guy was kind of like the guru of pickleball for old people. | |
| Everyone seemed to like him from what she was saying. | |
| After a bunch of weeks, she was just like, I'd play Pickleball on a Saturday or Sunday, and then I wouldn't feel good until Wednesday afterwards, because it just took it out of me. | |
| Pickleball was just too grueling. | |
| Pickleball was like the new cornhole. | |
| From my experience, it was nowhere, and then suddenly it was everywhere, and there was a bunch of infrastructure for it already. | |
| When it happened with Courtauld, it was just like all anybody needed was the boxes, but suddenly everybody and every establishment had the boxes. | |
| But for Pickleball, I was just like, oh, Pickleball, what's that? | |
| And then I noticed that the sign that was advertising it was in front of a building they had built for Pickleball. | |
| I was just like, what the fuck? | |
| Yeah, Pickleball. | |
| Pickleball went crazy out of nowhere. | |
| It was just... At my work, because we have to have TVs for sports everywhere, the tennis channel was like, it's finally here! | |
| The Pickleball Channel! | |
| And I was like, who was demanding this? | |
| PickleTV! | |
| P.S. | |
| PickleTV, who? | |
| Who was, like, yearning? | |
| It was like, you know what, tennis? | |
| Fuck off, tennis. | |
| We need pickleball. | |
| Let's go! | |
| And then the tennis network was like, you got it. | |
| Pickleball spinoff network. | |
| Dude, pickleball would be such a waste of the IP, Pickle TV. | |
| It is! | |
| Oh, speaking of which, a friend of the show, Jay, checked. | |
| Decode.ai is taken already, and those folks aren't grifting nearly as hard with it as they should be. | |
| Oh, God, that sucks. | |
| Way to be terrible at your jobs, Decode.ai. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's a sad state we're in, you know. | |
| But like, how could I possibly have thought that a domain name would be free? | |
| Don't robots just claim those as soon as like they become available now? | |
| They just claim the first like 200,000 words on a list or whatever dot new domain name? | |
| Yeah. | |
| So they just sell it for $6 or whatever? | |
| Please, please buy it. | |
| Please buy it. | |
| I just love that we've created a million extensions now, and then people try to jazz them up so that people are just like, why do .com when you can do .whatever? | |
| And it's like, okay, great. | |
| Well, just .com's what everyone does. | |
| It's what normies think of when they think of a website. | |
| When are they gonna let us do .com? | |
| It'll be the biggest land grab since .xxx went up, you know? | |
| It'll be the biggest land grab since like dot triple x went up, you know? | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, we get how world.com for how we're all. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| That's what it's all about. | |
| Mike's been begging for the After Dark reference in the pre-show. | |
| He was craving it, yearning for it! | |
| So I had to get it in there at the top of the chart to make him pleased. | |
| That's all, yeah. | |
| Mike Reyes doesn't live an After Dark sort of life, so that's for me to provide. | |
| Mike Reyes, he's like a vampire hunter. | |
| He only operates during the daytime. | |
| Yep, that's me. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| Well, there you go. | |
| I finally did it. | |
| I came through for you, bud. | |
| I knew what you wanted. | |
| Don't worry. | |
| Your boy's here. | |
| I'm still your boy, Blue. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| I was really not expecting the Open today to be a hot pickleball action. | |
| Mostly because my interactions with pickleball ebbed precipitously after my mom tapped out. | |
| It was a random sports week for me, you know? | |
| I learned about Bill Walton. | |
| I watched pickleball. | |
| He died. | |
| Do you know Bill Walton? | |
| Yes, I know well of Bill Walton. | |
| I thought it was funny that local media was talking about him because he's like, kooky deadhead, look at him, he's weird, and it's like, totally ignored all this anti-war Vietnam protests that he did when he was actually a basketball player, and he did some pretty radical stuff before he became some guy that wanted to turn the homeless into fertilizer, but yeah, I thought it was funny, that was all. | |
| Oh yeah! | |
| Oh yeah, I don't know about the anti-homelessness stuff. | |
| But also sometimes kind of not cool with the homelessness stuff. | |
| Oh, yeah. I don't know about the anti-homelessness stuff. | |
| He was always presented as a crazy hippie deadhead on TV. | |
| And he had a very weird NBA career because he was kicking everybody's ass. | |
| And because he was a giant dude back in the early 80s, he broke his foot and he had like feet injuries. | |
| And we didn't have modern medicine back then. | |
| So he was just like kind of useless. | |
| And then he had a small resurgence on the Boston Celtics and got another title. | |
| And then that was about the end of him. | |
| And then he became just like, I'm the crazy hippie guy that talks basketball, and I was good at it, so listen to me. | |
| He was like, okay, you got it, Bill. | |
| And not so much the Swalent Green stuff. | |
| That, hard pass on that, so yeah. | |
| There's some great photos of him engaging in anti-war campus protests, because he's huge. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| And it's like him just helping move a whole ass car to like blockade shit, and like getting arrested by cops that look like little ants, arresting them. | |
| It's like Superman letting the cops arrest him. | |
| He's like, if it would make you feel better, I'll wear the cuffs. | |
| It's okay. | |
| I'll cosplay as your prisoner if that makes you feel better about things. | |
| It's okay. | |
| I'm good with it. | |
| We've been talking about basketball players with surprisingly frequent reverence. | |
| We were talking about the size of basketball players, I believe, recently on the show as well. | |
| People who listen to the show are going to start to think that we care about basketball, which I don't want to put into the world. | |
| I do not give a fuck about basketball. | |
| Do you not like sports? | |
| I try to occasionally find a sports thing and mention to Mike because I'm like, I know those sports. | |
| I mean, I like the highlight for any sports. | |
| But I can't really fuck with watching whole sports games, really. | |
| They're just so boring. | |
| I mean, American football is probably the least so for me, but that's because I appreciate the set-up, take-down nature of it. | |
| They set up for a thing, they execute the thing, then you reset. | |
| A lot of people don't like that stop-and-start sort of play, and that's why they hate American football, which I totally get. | |
| All of the constant motion stuff, like hockey I think is probably the best of it, followed by tennis, like in terms of just like the sports where everyone's constantly moving around all the time always. | |
| But yeah, I don't know. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Give me highlights. | |
| Well, why do I want to watch this for three hours? | |
| I don't give a fuck. | |
| Why would I get invested in this? | |
| Why is everybody else so invested in this? | |
| I just want to watch top 10 replay fails. | |
| Yeah, the not top 10. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Also great. | |
| Like I watch bloopers and highlights. | |
| It's great. | |
| Like I watch a surprising amount of boxing, like knockout highlights and stuff like MMA and, uh, whatever I get. | |
| What's it called? | |
| One fighting or whatever the international is where it's mostly kickboxing. | |
| Yeah. | |
| One is like, uh, they do like a kickboxing side and an MMA side in there. | |
| Like, yeah, they're like the Japanese version of UFC. | |
| Yeah, that shit is wild, but I wouldn't want to watch a full fight either, you know? | |
| I just love that Hayley, like, did the whole... I'm just talking about sports, so I have something to engage Mike with, because I'm just like this weird alien creep that you have to, like, find things to engage on. | |
| No, it just made me laugh, because it just reminded me of back in the good old days when I would play the Magic the Gathering, and I had this, like, this... | |
| I had this very weird friendship with this guy, basically. | |
| One of the Magic Gathering players that I would play these tournaments with, he basically bullied me in high school constantly, and then at some ill-defined point we became Magic Gathering bros. | |
| So I would help him build decks and stuff, and then he would cheat and steal from people and was a basic criminal. | |
| Whenever we would not be talking about Magic, he had, like, no way to interface with me because he just was just like, you're the weird nerd I picked on in high school. | |
| I don't know how to talk to you. | |
| So every now and then he would just, like, make, like, vague references to, like, garbage or something and just be like, that's the band you like, isn't it? | |
| Can we talk about them? | |
| And I'd be like, stop patronizing me. | |
| Let's just focus on if we should Play Aggro or Control this week to smash all the fools in Amesbury and get our DCI points. | |
| Alright Mike, shut your wet mouth! | |
| We have to talk about the Amuse Bouche! | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| Get ready for the Amuse Bouche! | |
| I'm glad that we got that giggle out of Haley on the record. | |
| Very, very solid. | |
| Excellent stuff. | |
| Okay. | |
| Moose Boost topic number one. | |
| Alito, that wretched judge fuck, keeps getting embroiled in flag-related controversy, which is a pretty funny thing to get to say. | |
| So, Mike, what is going on with Alito and his freaky flags? | |
| Okay, so our boy Samuel Alito, one of the two justices who may die in the next four years, so please vote for Joe Biden so he can replace him and not Donald Trump, because that would be much worse. | |
| Alito flew an upside-down American flag outside of his home at some point. | |
| Neighbor dispute. | |
| Yes, allegedly during a neighbor dispute. | |
| And when the story finally was released, the Washington Post admittedly sat on their hands on this story for three years. | |
| They knew about this story back when it happened. | |
| And they were like, why should we bring up the fact that one of the judges on the Supreme Court is an absolute nut and thinks that the election was stolen? | |
| Why would we want to bring that up? | |
| So basically, he did that and the neighbors that were fighting with the Alitos during this time have pointed out that Alito's timeline for why he flew the upside-down flag doesn't make any sense because when he flew it was actually two weeks before the quote-unquote inciting incident. | |
| And, uh, during all this time, uh, Alito has blamed his wife. | |
| He said that his wife was just very upset at the fact that, uh, the neighbors flew, like, uh, posted, like, a fuck Trump sign, and you are, uh, culpable signs, and that his wife just couldn't, just couldn't stomach it anymore, and then, as a result, she decided to fly a, uh, American flag upside down. | |
| Weird. | |
| let everybody know. I'm sort of of the mind that if that even if that were true, I'd be like cool. | |
| But still get the fuck off the bench. I mean like you're too close to somebody who is too close to it. | |
| You know get the fuck out. | |
| I feel like those people should be held to higher standards, not no standards, but maybe that's just me. | |
| Weird, so weird. | |
| Yeah, and then it came out that at a different residency where Alito was | |
| they flew an appeal to heaven flag, which is one of the many flags of the revolution war and as a flag | |
| that was co-opted by the January 6th protesters and And so, again, this was a kind of right-wing dog-whistle nonsense thing that Alito was just totally cool with. | |
| And I don't know if we've blamed his wife or not for that one, but whatever. | |
| He reminds me of my neighbors, because they all do that. | |
| I have neighbors all around me that fly the flag upside down. | |
| And there's one guy that has a sticker on his car that said, right-wing extremists, which I love. | |
| Just totally acknowledging. | |
| He's like, hey, look, I'm a piece of shit. | |
| I'm fully invested in just being an absolute garbage human being. | |
| I see his flag every morning when I wake up and sit my coffee on my porch. | |
| I'm like, there's that upside down flag. | |
| It's been like that for years now. | |
| Aw, poor baby. | |
| I'm shocked he hasn't gone out and bought the POW-MIA flag to put under it, because that's like the official, like, that was the sad boy flag that people flew before they were flagging their American flags. | |
| Well, yeah, but that was before Donald Trump claimed that he preferred his war heroes uncaptured, so then those POW fucking flags had to get right the fuck out of there, dude. | |
| I haven't seen POW flags flying the way they used to, I'm not gonna lie. | |
| I feel like the same idiots that used to fly those flags were just sort of like, you know what, why are we celebrating those guys that got captured? | |
| What the fuck? | |
| Dude, like, like death or dishonor, you know? | |
| Come back with your shield around it. | |
| Let's pull this thing down. | |
| I'm laughing mostly because every time in Hollywood when you get the phrase, either come back with your shield or on it, it's always like an angry Spartan woman. | |
| And the fact that Elle used that phrase as a Southern male just killed me for some reason. | |
| The delivery of that phrase to a Southern gentleman was... Those dudes love 300. | |
| They can't get enough of 300. | |
| And they don't think it's gay at all. | |
| They think it's the straightest thing there is. | |
| They're just like, dude, look at how straight and not gay this movie is. | |
| Yeah, these guys with their washboard abs and their man panties fighting the, uh, fuckin'... Uh, King Leonidas fucks his wife? | |
| Uh, yeah, sure. | |
| It's from behind in slow motion, but he's doing it. | |
| To a woman. | |
| Yes. | |
| This is true. | |
| Okay. | |
| For the record, I don't think Zack Snyder knew that he was making a super gay movie either. | |
| I think he just accidentally came out with one. | |
| I just love the idea of the costume department being like, here's the Spartan's uniform, cape, man panties, chest butter. | |
| Yeah, there's just somebody out there painting them like a fence, but with oil. | |
| And he's just like, excellent, very straight, alright, and action! | |
| What's more masculine than a chiseled male chest bulging in the dim sunlight of battle? | |
| Oh god, so masculine. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| Also a movie I'm happy to never watch again. | |
| I feel like I've retained enough of that movie in my mind to make it as good as it could ever be. | |
| Yup. | |
| Yeah. | |
| There's really no improvement on it. | |
| I love that they did a second 300 afterwards, and the villain was some tiny white goth girl. | |
| Because that's historically accurate. | |
| That's what the Persians and the ancient Greeks looked like, was just an incredibly pale goth woman. | |
| Being like, boom! | |
| I'm the villain now! | |
| It's like, yeah, okay, great. | |
| We got you. | |
| Excellent. | |
| They did that for Sin City as well. | |
| I liked, though, that the Alitos also had the Appeal to Heaven flag, and everybody kind of learned what that was upon seeing that, because that was kind of news here a bunch. | |
| In Arizona there was some January 6th storming lawmakers that like proudly fly that in you know the chamber even though there's like kind of strict rules around stuff like that and some of the lawmakers here just recently tried to pass a bill that would make it legal to fly those in HOAs You know, because, like, HOA's got, like, super strict rules. | |
| Oh yeah, of course. | |
| So yeah, the appeal to heaven flag thing is very funny that, like, now everybody's kind of just catching on that it's, like, a Christian national symbol. | |
| And it seems like that is a problem that is infested every manner of our society. | |
| I'm gonna go on record with it. | |
| I think flags... Are those forms of government? | |
| I think flags are lame. | |
| I think flags are lame and stupid. | |
| Flags are so... | |
| Fucking lame, you couldn't be more correct on that. | |
| Like, I'm not for flags or... I don't like patriotism or nationalism. | |
| I'm not for flags or bumper stickers. | |
| I'm just like, it's cool that you have an opinion, but like, why do you have to like... Like, when I'm a captive audience or whatever, I'm just walking around outside, I have to walk by your property and I get to see your dozen flags that tell me who the fuck you think you are. | |
| It's like, I don't care, shut up! | |
| It is bumper sticker energy. | |
| Put it in your house, you know? | |
| I'm not saying they're all created equal. | |
| Obviously, some flags are much worse than others, and I do, and like, you know, if your flag has, like, an important, like, like, you know, trans rights flags, Black Lives Matter flags, like, those people are actively under attack. | |
| So, like, yeah, you know, public support for them is pretty cool, but, like, Star Wars flag, shut up! | |
| You shut that, you, you put that right, right the fuck back inside the house. | |
| I don't care about Star Wars, and I don't care about how much you care about Star Wars. | |
| Fuck off with that. | |
| What about a Blue Lives Matter flag that's kind of like opening up like Goatsy and then it reveals like a patriotic chihuahua inside? | |
| You ever see those flags? | |
| No, but is it like 3D? | |
| Does the chihuahua like emerge from it like an alien chestburster? | |
| No, it's just a really intricate piece of art where it's like it looks like the flag is ripping open to reveal another piece of art behind it and it's usually like another flag or like a patriotic How is a chihuahua patriotic? | |
| How is that the move there? | |
| I'm so lost. | |
| Someone just probably really loves their chihuahua and they love cops. | |
| So they just kind of made a flag that combines the two. | |
| Or they just thought it was funny, and they were just like, you know who should know that I think this is funny? | |
| Everyone! | |
| Everyone needs to know! | |
| How can I get my message out to the world, aside from the internet? | |
| Oh, I know. | |
| I can make a flag of it and fly it outside of my house. | |
| And people out there are going to be like, El, you're a curmudgeon. | |
| You can get it on Amazon. | |
| They're like, El, just let people like what they like. | |
| And, you know, I can't legally stop them from doing it. | |
| So I am letting them like what they like. | |
| But I also have the right to say that I think the flags are stupid. | |
| So get off my fucking back! | |
| And stop flying your stupid flags! | |
| Do you see it? | |
| Yes, I see it. | |
| And I hate it. | |
| Yeah, it's very confusing. | |
| I don't understand what's going on at all. | |
| That makes no sense to me. | |
| Bumper stickers too. | |
| Like, calm down. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You can get one with a dog. | |
| I hate this segment now. | |
| Now it's just Hayley showing us pictures of flags through her phone on Amazon. | |
| With dogs! | |
| Alright, next Boosh topic, for the love of God. | |
| Santos V. Fuentes. | |
| Don't know what this is? | |
| Don't care. | |
| Happy to be talking about it. | |
| Mike, what's going on here? | |
| Our boy, disgraced, resigned congressperson George Santos has decided that it's time to pick a fight with the Grapers and he's declared America's favorite neo-Nazi and Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes to be a closeted gay. | |
| Everybody's been saying this for years. | |
| Yes, but George is going even harder on him than usual. | |
| Phrasing! | |
| And the Grapers are furious with Santos because he was supposed to be a Republican and thusly | |
| a good guy. | |
| And for Santos to come out and just be like, no, Fuentes is gay, you need to get over yourselves, it's ridiculous. | |
| And so this led to a giant... What does Santos say that he is sexuality-wise publicly? | |
| Straight as an arrow? | |
| Gay. | |
| Oh, is he openly gay? | |
| He's gay. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So does he carry extra weight with these people? | |
| With this guy? | |
| He's like, I know it when I see it! | |
| More like, yo, he's gay, I fucked him! | |
| I'm like, holy shit, you know? | |
| This stemmed from a controversy on a stream that he had, Fuentes, where at the very end | |
| of his stream, basically as he was saying goodbye, a clip of gay porn fed through the | |
| stream. And I'm not saying either here or there because it did actually kind of look | |
| like someone hacked him, but he immediately went with the Jews hacked me, so everybody | |
| was like, okay, that's fake, you are gay, and you had gay porn on your stream. And yeah, | |
| Santos immediately was like, oh, you're a Nazi catboy, stream gay porn tonight on his | |
| stream and was like going off on Twitter. | |
| So that was kind of where some of this came from, so yes. | |
| Santos has been all over this. | |
| Yeah, he's crushing Fuentes over this, which is great. | |
| Nick Fuentes is terrible, and anyone who wants to dogpile him should absolutely do so. | |
| It's just really funny that Santos, relieved of the burden of actually having to be a responsible person and hold elective office, is now just this catty, vengeful, backbiting, just, I'm gonna throw bombs at anyone I feel like throwing bombs at. | |
| I don't give a shit. | |
| I'm not beholden to the Republican here. | |
| hierarchy or the right-wing extremists anymore. So congratulations George, have fun before all | |
| of your endless crimes result in you going to jail for many many years. | |
| Smoke em while you got em, I guess, is the best way I can describe his attitude towards things. | |
| I think it's funny that people are like, he's gay. | |
| Got him! | |
| When it's like, yeah, he's a Nazi, too. | |
| Right, yeah, but we already knew that he was a Nazi. | |
| We knew he was... Him being gay is allegedly new news. | |
| Even though it isn't. | |
| It's really not. | |
| It isn't. | |
| I mean, we've talked about it on this show. | |
| Yeah, we've talked about it on this show before. | |
| Once you guys started talking and some neurons started firing, I remembered who he was. | |
| And I was like, wasn't he already gay? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Wasn't he already known to be a gay? | |
| Well, he tries to brand himself as an incel who wants to... Love how that's better. | |
| Couldn't possibly gay. | |
| I'm an incel. | |
| I'm not gay. | |
| Women just won't fuck me. | |
| Yeah, okay. | |
| Super cool story, bro. | |
| Yeah, and basically, I mean, Fuentes is really young, so the mythology of himself is basically that he wants to get into his mid-30s, and then at that point he'll get himself an 18-year-old mail-order bride, and that is what a proper Christofascist does in order to have a relationship, is just find some fertile young lady who you just basically bribe into being your concubine. | |
| So yeah, everything about the man is incredibly icky and awful that he presents. | |
| If he just acknowledged that he was gay and just lived that life, it would be far, far less, far not as bad. | |
| Also, for the record, incels only exist because they are too stupid to perceive the world around them, and I doubt any of them are going to listen to the show, but if you'd like to save an incel's life, here's the advice you need to give them. | |
| You just need to grow your hair out long. | |
| It needs to go past your shoulders, and if you can get to that milestone, it'll work out for you. | |
| I've seen so many people outkick their coverage, and the whole reason is because they've got long hair. | |
| I've actually asked some of their partners. | |
| I was just like, hey, now that it's, like, worked out, I gotta know. | |
| Like, what the fuck? | |
| And they're just like, I had long hair, I wanted to fuck him. | |
| I was like, oh, okay, cool, good stuff! | |
| Elle's just gonna break brains on, like, the Blackpill subreddits and shit, being like, dudes, all your look-smacking bullshit? | |
| Long hair. | |
| Just go for it. | |
| I mean, it might require, like, surgeries or, like, supplements or pills or whatever. | |
| Like, I'm not saying that every guy could just, like, will their hair to be long and voluptuous, but if you put in the work and you can get there, like, in cell you will no longer be. | |
| You'll find someone. | |
| Shake stick the long ball in the long hair. | |
| And I'm bald as fuck, so I'm not here trying to stunt for myself. | |
| I'm crazy bald. | |
| I get to be an incel. | |
| Ehhh. | |
| Women. | |
| Ehhh. | |
| Games journalism. | |
| Ehhh. | |
| Nice. | |
| Invite me into your club, boys. | |
| It seems like the worst fucking place imaginable, because I don't like Call of Duty, and I actually kind of like women, even the ones I'm not trying to fuck. | |
| That's so strange. | |
| Thinking that women are people. | |
| So weird. | |
| Alright, speaking of, I believe, female people, let's talk about Amanda Moore, because she, I believe, based on the name, was exposed! | |
| Oh, exposed! | |
| So Hayley, have you seen any of this bullshit about our buddy Amanda? | |
| I was trying to follow along a little bit, but I couldn't make heads or tails what was going on, and I was a bit bittersweet, so no, I didn't really get the whole thing. | |
| So basically the Stewiverse has decided that Amanda Moore is a deep state operative paid for by Michael Flynn to be like just an evil person trying to deny the truth of QAnon and the right wing and Donald Trump and all the rest of it. | |
| I think I know who this is, but I don't want to get it wrong on the air. | |
| So who is this? | |
| She's a friend of the show. | |
| She's a friend of the show. | |
| That's what I thought, but I didn't want to get it wrong. | |
| Okay, I'm on board now. | |
| Never mind. | |
| I've always known. | |
| Uh, she was known as Frank the Turtle when she was anonymously and secretly going to QAnon and other white supremacist events. | |
| Yeah, she was like infiltrating them, right, or whatever? | |
| And recording, yes. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| And then she did a big report for The Nation and now she does I'm not sure if I ever knew her last name, so I'm gonna chalk that up to that. | |
| Yeah, she's Mandy Moore. | |
| Nice. | |
| Well, there we go. | |
| Truly, she's been exposed. | |
| Exposed! | |
| So, basically, Stewartson and their crew have been declaring that she's not actually a liberal, that she's really a fascist, and she wasn't infiltrating the fascists, she was just bros with them the whole time. | |
| And this led to a series of arguments, and eventually Amanda posted her ID, Online, and one of Stu's midians has declared that, like, the IDs are expired and Amanda is probably not her real name. | |
| She's probably not even the person she's claiming to be. | |
| Like, her whole internet persona is a fraud. | |
| So, they're now peeling back more layers of this onion. | |
| We're not just going to the whole, oh yeah, you weren't really just infiltrating the fascists, you were buddy-buddy with them. | |
| It's now, Everything about you is a lie! | |
| You're just literally, like, just molded in a lab by Michael Flynn to sow disinformation and chaos in the left. | |
| And it's like, no. | |
| She's who she says she is. | |
| She's doing what she says she's doing. | |
| You all need to, like, fucking dial it down a lot. | |
| A whole hell of a lot. | |
| Yeah, has anybody passed along my message to the Jace universe that they can all fuck off? | |
| Like, every single one of them can go fucking pound sand? | |
| You're all a bunch of unhinged losers. | |
| Please seek therapy. | |
| The slippery slope of conspiracy bullshit has got a hold of you and it's only a matter of time before it turns you to the true dark side. | |
| Right now you're flirting with the dark side. | |
| See, I don't need to fucking fly a flag to let people know I kind of like Star Wars sometimes. | |
| You just throw it in there. | |
| You slide it in. | |
| You know, slide it. | |
| Slide it in. | |
| Subtle. | |
| Just like Disney's been doing. | |
| Luke Skywalker suddenly showing up. | |
| Sorrow. | |
| Oh man. | |
| You either want to be in a cult or you want to play like you're in a cult. | |
| And either way, I got no time for you. | |
| You're fucking pissing me off so much just because... | |
| I don't know man, quit pretending to be on the right side. | |
| You just, you guys, you guys just wanna... | |
| You guys either just wanna be in a... | |
| You either wanna be in a cult or you wanna play like you're in a cult. | |
| And either way, I got no time for you. Shut up. | |
| Go do that someplace else. | |
| Go someplace that's already cripplingly toxic. | |
| Go do that in the Sonic fandom. | |
| Go be Sonic fans. | |
| Or go be Smash Bros. | |
| players. | |
| You can get away with all sorts of shit in those communities. | |
| Fuck off! | |
| I just love that every internet corner immediately somehow at some point becomes a toxic cesspool | |
| that's just inaccessible by normal people because everyone there is just like so poisoned | |
| by the content they've been consuming they just can't help it anymore. | |
| Everyone's just a brain-broken psychopath at this point. | |
| It's great. | |
| Yeah, well, nobody, very few people are capable of like having a disagreement or a point of opinion for a thing that doesn't matter without like taking it personally. | |
| Oh hey, when you're ready to have an adult conversation about the Green Lantern. | |
| Dude, Magneto was right, you know? | |
| Yes! | |
| All right. | |
| It is time once again for us to delve into the most horrible reaches of the boundaries of the state of the Arizona with our good friend Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, who once a week gets to regale us with tales from her powerful state and not just about pickleball, but instead how much they hate abortion and stuff. | |
| So fun. | |
| Anyway, I'll turn it over to Haley. | |
| Hi, Haley. | |
| How's Arizona going this week? | |
| It's going, you know, it's a state. | |
| I guess, let's see, what can we talk about? | |
| There is a big story, but it's not so like, you know, it's not like the normal politicos. | |
| So for the people who feast, on just normal political stuff. | |
| Abe Hammond and Blake Masters are fighting. | |
| They used to be besties and now they're fighting. | |
| And so when Blake Masters ran last time around, his political signs were really boring. | |
| It was basically just like a blank black sign that said like, Blake Masters. | |
| Vote for him, you know? | |
| I like guns. | |
| Yeah, it was like as it was as charismatic as his personality. | |
| This year, he has decided to go a different route where you can just see signs that basically | |
| just say deport, deport, deport. | |
| And then it says vote like masters. | |
| Or he has one against Abe Hamadei, who is a Muslim man, a Republican. | |
| And he just has a photo of Hamadei at Mecca basically saying he's going to like, you know, | |
| turn America into a Muslim country. | |
| Vote Blake Masters! | |
| Save America from becoming part of the caliphate! | |
| Yeah, literally. | |
| Yeah, so Blake Masters has also been going after Abe for his immigration status because his parents were not born in America. | |
| So he's doing the, like, you know, no anchor babies quote-unquote talk about Hamaday and basically saying your parents should be deported. | |
| So, which is really fucking fucked up. | |
| Hamaday even tweeted, like, they used to be friends and now, like, Masters is being a medium, basically. | |
| So, this race is heating up. | |
| It was kind of, like, assumed that Ben Thoma, who is also running in this race, would get the seat, because Debbie Lesko, who's stepping down, Endorsed him. | |
| This is like CD8. | |
| But he's like the normie guy. | |
| He's kind of like, he's quiet. | |
| You know, sometimes he's, you know, cares more about the rules than just being a Republican loudmouth. | |
| So he hasn't been getting as much attention as like the Masters Hamaday stuff. | |
| So I don't know if he's actually gonna do well in this race because he's not, you know, it's all about eyeballs and there's no eyeballs on him. | |
| Does Arizona have a runoff system or if one of these guys like if they split the vote 100 ways | |
| and one guy gets like 28% another guy gets like 25% the 28% guy is just the Republican nominee | |
| and then they're just gonna win yeah they're just gonna win because the district's like plus 30 | |
| Republican and you're gonna get like the Democrat grift. | |
| I love the, I love the losing grifters. | |
| They're my favorite candidates in America. | |
| Like the guy that runs against Marjorie Taylor Greene every two years. | |
| It's always a new grifter. | |
| They're like, I'm gonna take down MTG! | |
| And like Democrats give him like 1.5 million dollars. | |
| That guy just like basically, I don't know, spends that money on whatever he wants because he knows he can't win. | |
| And then MTG wins by like a million. | |
| Like there's this woman named Tina who's doing the same thing in New York against AOC. | |
| Forte. | |
| Yeah, Tina Forte. | |
| She's like running against AOC in New York and she's like, help me stop AOC! | |
| Donate to Tina now! | |
| And it's like, you're going to lose by 50 points. | |
| Like AOC, AOC's district is like plus 30 Democrat and her constituents love her. | |
| You have no chance. | |
| It is literally just stealing money from people that you're doing this. | |
| I just love that scam. | |
| It's like the greatest thing in the world. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| Well, that sucks that a nine-way vote could result in Blake Masters becoming a congressman because, like, just all the other Republicans who are not sociopaths made in a lab by Peter Thiel split the vote amongst themselves, such that he's able to get in. | |
| Yeah, it seems like this race is getting, unfortunately, a little bit like, uh, so are we going to get Blake Masters? | |
| Because that's not good. | |
| When is the primary? | |
| Is it in a month, or when is it? | |
| Yeah, it's coming up. | |
| I think early voting might have started. | |
| Let's see. | |
| Yeah, because I know Boebert's primary is in June, so we're about a month or so away from Lauren Boebert probably being turfed out of Congress very quickly because she was pulling fourth out of four in her primary. | |
| Couldn't happen to a better person, really. | |
| Uh, I think they started already, like, early voting. | |
| Oh geez, so it's coming up in a week or two. | |
| It will not be long now. | |
| Because I'm sure Arizona doesn't have, like, luxurious early voting because your state is only slowly working its way towards blue. | |
| So, uh, we don't want too much voting going on in Arizona. | |
| You guys had, like, the fucking neo-Nazis watching ballot boxes, drop boxes. | |
| That was us. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And then those people became precinct committeemen, so hey. | |
| Of course they did! | |
| How could that not work out that way? | |
| Jesus Christ. | |
| Speaking of neo-Nazis, so less traditional politics, just more my territory, which is Nazis. | |
| Left Coast Right Watch put out a report, Independent News Outlet, Left Coast Right Watch, put out a report about a woman and her husband who are part of multiple neo-Nazi groups in the valley, and she is a member of the National Guard, and also a teacher here, and he's a masseuse. | |
| But, um, so the skinny on this is that back in 2006 at a 666 party, the date was June 6, 2006 when this incident occurred, so it was a party to celebrate the 666 day. | |
| Righteous Hail Satan. | |
| Hail Satan. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| There was a man named David Ryan Drake who showed up in his full neo-Nazi uniform, like with the swastika armband and like all that, like a full get-up. | |
| He had a Nazi patch like taped on. | |
| He didn't sew it, he just had it like taped on. | |
| So he shows up to this party and an 18 year old teenager, like an 18 year old with Mexican | |
| and Native American descent, started ripping on him, making fun of him for wearing a Nazi | |
| uniform. | |
| But he took it really personally and ended up stabbing the man and killing him. | |
| He got nine years for this. | |
| And then upon release he changed his name to Ryan Alexander Drago and took up massage | |
| therapy in the valley. | |
| Drago. | |
| Yeah, I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough at the fucking fact that he turned himself into a Rocky villain. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| What? | |
| What a fucking child. | |
| That was the part that made you roll your eyes? | |
| It's not the fact that he was just like, trying to change my identity completely. | |
| And it was like, what do you want your last name to be? | |
| Former Mr. Drake? | |
| And he was like, uh... Drog. | |
| Go. | |
| Well, he couldn't change too many numbers. | |
| It's like Dragon without the N on the end, and he's just like, yeah, that's great. | |
| It's like, okay, former Mr. Drake, you are now Mr. Draggo. | |
| He's like, cool, totally different, goodbye! | |
| Jesus. | |
| So when he committed that murder, he was a member of the NSM, which is like this older neo-Nazi group that used to be the biggest neo-Nazi group in America. | |
| But then, upon release, he became an affiliate of a Saatru Folk Assembly. | |
| Are you familiar with that? | |
| Nope, no idea. | |
| You know those Nazi pagans? | |
| Nope. | |
| Like, pagan Nazis? | |
| Nope, you're... | |
| It's like, it's like, it's like esoteric Nazis, like Nazis who aren't Christian. | |
| They believe in, like, the pre-Germanic, like, gods, and like, you know, like Odin. | |
| Right, yeah, Norse Nazis, I get that, yeah. | |
| Yeah, like, like that. | |
| But there's, like, a specific sect that's called Asatru Folk Assembly, and they like present themselves as like a whites only religious group that like they bastardize a lot of the like paganism uh to basically be like it's just a white supremacist group that uses Norse mythology uh so he's a part of this group along with his wife Ashley Drago and um Patriot like he's affiliated with Patriot Front the Active Clubs those are the guys that go around like | |
| So anyway, all this is just relevant because he was a part of all this with his wife, who is a teacher here. | |
| She is a teacher here. | |
| This is funny. | |
| Nazi fighting fucks. | |
| Um, and, uh, so anyway, all this is just relevant, uh, because like he was a part of all this with his wife, who | |
| is a teacher here. | |
| She is a teacher here. This is funny. She has her PhD in saxophones. | |
| So, I, she has a doctorate in saxophones? | |
| I did not know such a thing. | |
| She has heard. | |
| She went to school to get her doctorate in music, and she's a saxophone expert. | |
| So she did her thesis on saxophones. | |
| Well, yeah, it's an instrument that can trace its lineage directly to being invented by a white person, I believe. | |
| I believe sax was white. | |
| What is she going to do, play a drum? | |
| Ew. | |
| No, absolutely not. | |
| Um, but yeah, so she plays the saxophone. | |
| She's a saxophone coach for a pretty, like, nice school here, Mountain Ridge High School. | |
| She's the She's a band coach to teach saxophone, of course. | |
| And then she's also a member of the Arizona National Guard and part of the Army Band. | |
| How do you think she reacts when her students inquire about hip-hop music? | |
| Oh, she gets so mad! | |
| She's just like, uh, I'm a music teacher and that's not music. | |
| A lot of the stuff she teaches is jazz, too, which is like, lady! | |
| That's going to be pretty funny. | |
| I just love the fact that people in Arizona are like, oh my god, this teacher has an OnlyFans. | |
| Get rid of them immediately. | |
| And this lady's just like, I'm an actual Nazi. | |
| And while being an actual Nazi, everyone's just like, you know, actual Nazis are totally OK. | |
| We're just super cool with having Nazis. | |
| be part of the curriculum. We're very good. We're okay with educator Nazis. | |
| Only fans, content creators as educators. No bueno, hard pass. Just, | |
| just so ridiculous. | |
| She had this very, very, the couple had this very, very goofy wedding where they | |
| were married basically by these Nazi pagans. | |
| and... | |
| Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha | |
| And there's these photos of them getting married by this kind of lead in this group. | |
| And when I looked into him, he's like, besides being like, Kind of a lead of this white supremacist pseudo-religious organization. | |
| He also occasionally does bit acting where he plays Nazis and SS guards. | |
| Oh god. | |
| Wow. | |
| Oh man. | |
| That... I like the idea that the man has worked to typecast himself as a fucking Nazi. | |
| That is... that is super impressive. | |
| I mean, that's just... that's just chef kiss. | |
| It's the part I was born to play! | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| Oh man. | |
| But as far as, the last I saw, I just saw this like right before we get one on, USA Today | |
| reporter seems to be saying that she's being investigated at least by the National Guard. | |
| So no word on the teaching position yet. | |
| I guess it takes a bit more, you know, you gotta show more. | |
| You have to show the hint of an OnlyFans account to get an educator removed from their position. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's so ridiculous. | |
| It's just like, but I have proof that they're like a Nazi. | |
| And they're just like, yeah, but do they have an OnlyFans? | |
| You're like, it shouldn't fucking matter. | |
| They're a Nazi. | |
| Oh God. | |
| Just, yeah, just absolutely. | |
| I mean, this is, I hate to say it to Haley, but this is kind of what we expect from your state. | |
| So yes. | |
| I know, I'm sorry, but if any listeners care to read the full report, leftcoastrightwatch.org, it's a pretty interesting report, especially if you have anyone in that district that might be getting taught by her. | |
| She also taught at U of A. Oh, jeez. | |
| Which is the University of Arizona. | |
| It's a pretty big school. | |
| That's where she got her doctorate. | |
| Oh, I thought it was the University of Austria. | |
| It's the University of... | |
| The University of Ass. | |
| I like that Hayley worked a while and then finally landed the plane. | |
| She's like, University of A... Ass. | |
| Boom. | |
| There we go. | |
| I mean, which is only kind of landing the plane, because like, I would at least want a tour of the University of Ass. | |
| Like, especially depending on if it's a location. | |
| Like, if it's in Brazil, I mean, I'm really interested in the University of Ass. | |
| It's from Mix-a-Lot, the dean. | |
| I mean, what are his qualifications aside from liking Beck? | |
| I mean, if that's all it takes, then, like, dude, I could be the dean. | |
| Yeah, well, I'm just saying he's a famous enjoyer of Backsides. | |
| Yeah, I mean, so am I! | |
| This is one thing people know about me. | |
| Yes. | |
| They're just like, dude, Mysterious L, he loves Beck. | |
| Yes. | |
| As much, if not more, than Sir Mix-A-Lot. | |
| They're always saying it about me. | |
| Alright, well thank you so much for filling us in on the doings in your state. | |
| Who doesn't love hearing about Nazis? | |
| But it's time for us to hear about a different stupid white fuck in our news segment, Cues in the News! | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News! | |
| Time to talk about Donald Trump forever until we all die. | |
| And we're going to start this week by talking about how Trump is totally going to flip the whole state of New York red. | |
| This persecution will not stand. | |
| It is time for Red New York. | |
| Mike Raines, tell us about the Red New York. | |
| Mike! | |
| Tell us about red New York. | |
| It's a great state. | |
| I've always said it. | |
| Cricket judge. | |
| Yes. | |
| But it's always been a beautiful state with beautiful people. | |
| The beautifulest. | |
| Yeah, our boy Donald Trump decided to hold a rally in the Bronx, where in his appeal to black voters, he hung out with a couple of guys who were out on bail. | |
| For a conspiracy to commit murder, which is something you often want to do when you're a candidate for president, just hanging out with people that are probably going to get convicted for murder soon. | |
| And the big thing about this rally was, as all the local news and various people pointed out, it was not very well attended. | |
| Basically, Trump went out to a park, talked to some people for a while, and then left. | |
| And there was an overhead shot of this rally. | |
| And people were estimating that there was about 1,500 to maybe 3,000 people in the area. | |
| Because again, not very well attended. | |
| And QAnon and right-wing nutjobs have thrown a fit about this photo. | |
| And they've declared that this photo was taken hours before the rally when the teeming horde of Trump lovers And Turning Point USA? | |
| around the stage and the actual number was somewhere around 20 or 30,000 | |
| people that were there. I actually saw Jack Posobiec, the Trump ball washer, | |
| declare that like... And Turning Point USA... Yeah. I always think that's funny that they have that. | |
| Just literal Nazi. | |
| Literal Nazi Jack Posebeck is part of Turning Point. | |
| It's great. | |
| He made the statement that over 100,000 people attended this event at the Bronx. | |
| And the funniest part about all of this is that none of these QAnon people, or right-wingers, have a different photo of the much larger crowd. | |
| All they do is post a photo of the tiny crowd and go, this is bullshit, the media's posting this and they know it's a lie, this is from way earlier, and it's like, so... Well, certainly somebody in the area must have taken a photo of this tremendous crowd. | |
| Yeah, and I just can't wait, because it would be ridiculous to not be able to find one of those, considering this past Sunday there was quite the crowd at the Boston Calling Music Festival, which I only know about because people have been posting pictures and photos showing how dangerously packed it was. | |
| Exactly. | |
| Yeah, there were like a hundred thousand people at this Trump rally. | |
| Wouldn't be too hard for them to post photos of this just absolute thriving mass of humanity yearning to hear the God Emperor speak to them. | |
| I mean... But, uh, shockingly, they have yet to post any social media, um, video, photos, anything that would prove their case. | |
| The only thing they have going for them is to whine about the photo that is going around. | |
| Which makes me think that that's the only photo they got and that photo looks very bad for them. | |
| So all they can do is lie about what happened. | |
| So yeah. | |
| Odds that Trump is actually going to win New York in November? | |
| Uh, zero percent. | |
| And if that does happen, well then guess what? | |
| We're all fucked. | |
| So yeah. | |
| Uh, it's very funny, but it's very funny that everyone's like, Oh shit, Trump's going direct to the deep state. | |
| He's fucking taking it to him. | |
| He's showing how big MAGA is all around America, even in New York. | |
| And it's like, New Yorkers know that Trump's a crook. | |
| They've known he's a crook for his whole career. | |
| Like they're just like, they can't believe the rest of you idiots are buying his shit. | |
| They've been around him for forever. | |
| Like they're, they're his people and they know him. | |
| It's hilarious. | |
| Haley has thrown devil signs. | |
| Yes, Haley threw out the devil horns. | |
| Sorry, I happen to be looking at my phone. | |
| We'll have to edit this part out. | |
| Wonderful. | |
| So glad that my camera decided to shit the bed because Riverside has been a fucking nightmare today so you guys couldn't know that I wasn't ready for that, bro. | |
| Okay, whatever. | |
| Are we done talking about the thing that you were talking about? | |
| Yes, yes, we are ready to move on to the next thing, yes. | |
| Okay, excellent. | |
| Sorry. | |
| I love talking about Trump. | |
| I was receiving some bad but unimportant news. | |
| Okay! | |
| 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. | |
| And of course we couldn't be talking about Donald Trump, that stupid wretched piece of shit, this week without talking about his ongoing legal woes, the trial that has gone to jury determination or whatever it's fucking called today. | |
| That's great. | |
| But unfortunately, they might have somebody on the inside, I think, based on this thing that Mike used as our headline topic. | |
| The true social juror. | |
| So send us a shout, D! | |
| Mike, what's up with this true social jerk? | |
| Okay. | |
| So basically, uh, the legal analysis that I've seen, uh, which is not Donald Trump pissing and moaning about how totally fucked he is, which is like, I just love, there's like funnier to me than all these people just talking about this case is a sham. | |
| It's bullshit. | |
| Like Trump's going to skate. | |
| They got no evidence. | |
| And Trump's today was like Mother Teresa would get convicted on this bullshit. | |
| There's this, this is so corrupt. | |
| It's so terrible, there's nothing anyone could possibly do to be saved. | |
| So, I mean, way to build up your hopes, way to let the audience know that everything's gonna go great when you're like, I'm fucked! | |
| And that's just the way it is. | |
| But is he fucked? | |
| Because apparently, according to reports I've been watching, there is a juror that we have who, while they were being interviewed on the witness stand, Stated they got their news from Truth Social, and apparently this juror has been kind of inscrutable during the course of the trial. | |
| So the bedwetting leftists who are worried about a MAGA chud being on the jury to throw it, and the right-wingers who are hoping there's a MAGA chud on the jury to throw it, are now all putting all their eggs into the basket of this juror being the The one who's going to hold out, and there's going to be 11 to convict, and this one idiot's going to be like, Nope! | |
| Didn't convince me! | |
| No way, no how! | |
| And they're just going to, like, hold out no matter what, and just force the jury to come back hung, and force the trial to end in no result. | |
| So, America now holds its breath to see if this person is actually a lunatic who will Hey, that'd be, that'd be hilarious. | |
| It'd be absolutely hilarious that, uh, I mean, boy howdy, if you were, uh, if that did happen, I would be like, yo, prosecution, how did you ever let this person on the, on the bench? | |
| Like, what were you thinking? | |
| The moment this person was like, yeah, I'm on Truth Social. | |
| It's where I hang out. | |
| I'll be like, motion to strike the juror. | |
| And the judge will be like, no fucking problem. | |
| So yeah, this is the fate of American democracy is now hanging in the balance of this one moron on the jury, apparently. | |
| So it's great. | |
| This is just absolutely magical. | |
| Good stuff. | |
| You love to hear it. | |
| I mean, obviously, none of us want this to be true, but that would be like a... | |
| movie thriller version also I mean you know like that would you'd have to be really satisfied that your identity is going to be kept secret right otherwise you're like no matter what payola you got or what righteous and like belief you had to do such a thing like your life is over afterwards I mean even for as kitten mittens as lefties are I mean you'll still get like fucking doxxed and your life ruined or whatever so Oh, yeah. | |
| I mean, like, this is gonna be like Kyle Rittenhouse on steroids, where, like, that idiot's just, like, trying to be a right-wing grifter, and it's not really going very well for him. | |
| Where it's like, oh, yeah, you're the guy that actually prevented Trump from getting justice because you, like, finagled your way onto the jury and then refused to hear evidence. | |
| So great. | |
| Actually, you know what? | |
| Yeah, maybe I'm wrong. | |
| Maybe their identity would only allow them to make a little bit of extra money on the side. | |
| Because it used to be that if you did a bad thing like that, there would be a repercussion. | |
| But, you know. | |
| Remember when, like for a little while there, Anonymous was picking up that slack? | |
| Like bad people would do bad things and suddenly Anonymous would just be like, we're coming for you. | |
| But they haven't really actually come for anybody they've said in a big way in a while. | |
| Please don't come for me. | |
| But I'm just saying. | |
| Operation L. I'm just saying. | |
| Maybe lefties have just become too soft. | |
| And the bad guys can do whatever they want without fear of scrutiny. | |
| Because doxxing somebody would be wrong. | |
| You know, ruining their life on the internet would be bad. | |
| We just did a Huffington Report about how Left Coast Right Watch identified a neo-nazi in the military. | |
| But I mean, like, that person was- And then Mike counterpointed you with Kyle Rittenhouse getting acquitted for traveling across state lines to murder some people and is now on a griff circuit behind it. | |
| You know? | |
| Also, I just want to say- Guess it could go either way? | |
| Because we talked about this case, I talked about this case, um, like, months ago, kind of when the trial started, but, um, There was a man named George Allen Kelly who fired some shots at a migrant man and killed him and like basically claimed self-defense even though he shot him from like fucking hundreds of yards away and shot him with an AK and I mean you know you know you go to a jury of your fucking peers in America | |
| And a mistrial was just declared about a month ago because all but one jury member voted to acquit him. | |
| So, I don't know, man. | |
| I just don't really trust the jury and my peers that much. | |
| I know that's the way the cookie crumbles in America, but I personally don't know how much I would trust my peers. | |
| I always think of the kind of like when we were talking about this one in the holdout and then Elle was bringing up the fact that like they could potentially like get something good from this. | |
| It'd be way funnier if like the jury acquitted Trump and the next thing you know those 12 people are just showered in cash. | |
| They're like, juror number three, why'd you come to your verdict? | |
| They're like, oh, I don't know. | |
| There's like fanning hundred-dollar bills. | |
| They're just admitting they got... But they catch them moving into their new condo in the Trump, like, fucking building or whatever. | |
| Right, right. | |
| Because they just don't have to hide it anymore. | |
| I mean, you know, like, you can just do, you can do your stuff. | |
| This is the first time there's ever been like sort of an attempt to Be like, hey, you're doing a lot of illegal shit pretty openly, like, let's get in there. | |
| And, uh, do any of us feel mad confident that those 12 people are all going to be like, oh yeah, this is pretty obvious. | |
| Exactly. | |
| Because there could be a reasonable doubt. | |
| It's like, no, no, no. | |
| You can claim that you doubt, but it's not reasonable. | |
| I mean, like, no rational person with a real brain in their head would assume any doubt that you could come to after hearing those facts is reasonable. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| I mean, like, literally, this case was the Trump defense team saying, these were not reimbursements. | |
| And then the prosecution put a tweet into evidence where Trump was like, yeah, I reimbursed him. | |
| What of it? | |
| And it's just like... | |
| Why did you make that your whole defense when you knew this was a tweet that was out there and it was very likely to be submitted as evidence to the jury that just counters literally everything you were saying the entire time? | |
| Just, oh god. | |
| Because they're very stupid. | |
| Because Donald Trump hires very stupid people. | |
| Obviously. | |
| Like all the very stupid people that turned on him and totally lied during this trial. | |
| They were all liars. | |
| They were all liars. | |
| All hand-picked liars that Donald Trump loved before and hates now. | |
| Hand-picked to stab him in the back. | |
| Because Donald Trump, again, because this trial, your honor, this trial is not about | |
| how Donald Trump is an idiot, but it is evidence that he is an idiot. | |
| Yes! | |
| All of that is so true. | |
| Guilty or innocent, I believe that we can all agree that Donald Trump is a big fucking moron. | |
| And, like, it's on, like, you know, the trial's, like, public record or whatever, and you can just go back and just be like, man, what a fucking moron. | |
| You know, look at all these people that he, like, can't pick, like, flipping on him, and look at all this, like, crime that he's getting caught doing. | |
| He's doing a dig dog. | |
| Yep. | |
| He personally signed all the checks. | |
| That's most good. | |
| Yep. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| Yeah, it's a huge clown show, so... | |
| Yeah, the jury has been given their instructions, they are currently deliberating, and next week hopefully we will have a verdict, or we will have a very rich juror or twelve who somehow let Trump get away with it. | |
| So that would be wonderful. | |
| Oh yeah, I mean, it's either endless appeals processes forever, or the least surprising, we couldn't come to a verdict of all time. | |
| They're not going to be like, we definitely found it. | |
| We're definitely looking at the facts and we're just like, hey, he's 100% not guilty. | |
| They're going to be like, yeah, we can't reach a verdict on this one. | |
| Someone won't budge. | |
| You're just so weird. | |
| I'd love to be wrong. | |
| Prove me wrong. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Not that it would be great for me because then we would have like, you know, again, I don't know how long we have to wait for Donald Trump to fall over dead from natural causes. | |
| But like the appeals process would be we'd have to talk about him again forever. | |
| Yeah, pretty much. | |
| It's not great. | |
| So yeah, fuck that guy and fuck everything about him. | |
| And fuck democracy. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Viva la revolution! | |
| Yes, into enlightened dictatorship. | |
| Let's go! | |
| Enlightened dictatorship AI, save us! | |
| You can do it, I believe in you. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it's returning great Google searches right now, so let's let it take over control of all of our functions. | |
| Yep, absolutely. | |
| I do love it. | |
| I do love that people are still just like, yeah, it doesn't even work. | |
| So dumb. | |
| And I'm just like, well, it's like, it's, it is stupid of them to be showing it to us before it's good, but like, it will get good. | |
| I mean, they're not stopping. | |
| So they're going to keep dumping money until they make it work. | |
| But it's like kind of the question of When will that be? | |
| And is the promise actually realized? | |
| Because fucking every year Elon Musk comes out and says, we're going to have fully self-driving cars this year, and then we don't. | |
| It's so weird. | |
| It's so weird how that... I mean, at some point some venture capitalist firm or whatever is going to get together and they're going to put enough money into like a... | |
| Quote-unquote ethically sourced library of people saying stuff and like artwork or whatever where they're just like, oh, we paid the artist for this so we could use it to trade AI models and shit. | |
| And then, you know, like at some point they're like, they're just going to put enough money into buying one of those libraries and putting one together. | |
| And then they're going to be like, shut up about your thing. | |
| None of this is stolen. | |
| You just don't like it because it's making free stuff. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Ha ha ha ha. | |
| Ah. | |
| Anyway, so do we have any more Trump-related horse shit that we haven't talked to in a touch of the week? | |
| Or can we blissfully transition into our mailbag? | |
| I say mailbag. | |
| Let's do this. | |
| Fucking thank God. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. | |
| Question me, Daddy! | |
| MeBad asks, any artists or celebrities that you know that are garbage people but you still like their content, separating the art from the artist? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah, I mean Michael Jackson, CeeLo Green. | |
| I listen to The Smiths, which is fronted by Morrissey, who is a big time Racist. | |
| You know, you'd think the guy saying shoplifters of the world unite would be a little bit more chill. | |
| Wrong. | |
| No. | |
| Opposite. | |
| Actually very bad. | |
| Actually terrible. | |
| Actually he's kind of like a white supremacist. | |
| So yeah, that sucks. | |
| And like, you know what? | |
| The Smiths and Morrissey, there's a joke in like Orange is the New Black that like basically all Latinas love the Smiths and that is kind of a very funny stereotype because I feel like it's... I feel like I fit that stereotype and a lot of my family fits that stereotype. | |
| My family's big Smiths heads. | |
| Wait a minute, I'm just not finding out you're Latina. | |
| Uh, he plays in Mexico, uh, a lot, and he, like, kinda, like, does, like, a kishy little, like, um, you know, the cowboy hat, and the boots, and the big belt, and it's, like, and then he's a fucking white supremacist racist piece of shit. | |
| It hurts. | |
| It sucks, but I still listen to the Smiths way too much all the time. | |
| It's, and it sucks, but I love, I love the Smiths. | |
| There we go. | |
| Yeah, I mean, obviously, like, I feel like a lot of people just, like, still listen to Michael Jackson. | |
| You know, I'm not sure how many people, like, throw in a bod, but I've never, like, disappointed to hear a Michael Jackson single pop up on the radio or, you know, if you're, like, in a coffee shop or something. | |
| But it's just like, you know, like, unfortunately, there are a lot of artists like that. | |
| CeeLo broke my heart when he became a piece of shit, because I had already, like, given him a bunch of my money. | |
| Like, I never really bought a bunch of Michael Jackson albums because he was just omnipresent, but I had, like, bought, like, a handful of CeeLo Creed albums, and I was just like, oh, man! | |
| Bummer! | |
| Yeah, I have a co-worker who literally has a Harry Potter-themed lanyard for her badge. | |
| And so we always have to talk about the whole, yep, you gotta kind of separate Harry Potter from J.K. | |
| Rowling because... | |
| Yep, not so great. | |
| That's true. | |
| Or you could just stop liking Harry Potter, or stop letting that particular freak flag fly. | |
| And people are just like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. | |
| And it's just like, dude, I grew up loving Thundercats. | |
| Like, there are childhood photos of me pretending to be a Thundercat, and like, loving it. | |
| And it was just like, it was the thing I loved the most when I was a kid. | |
| And nowadays, I will happily talk to people about how I loved it when I was a kid. | |
| While acknowledging that maybe it wasn't the greatest and also not buying merchandise for it or getting tattoos of it. | |
| Perfectly capable of doing that, adults. | |
| You can channel your- you can like a thing without feeling the need to be like, I should be able to express my love for Harry Potter without being called a transphobe or whatever. | |
| It's like, dude, just like, how about we don't signal boost Harry Potter anymore, you know? | |
| Like, Harry Potter was a thing that a lot of people loved and we can just move away from it. | |
| Like, when was the last time y'all saw that fucking Teddy Ruxpin, you know? | |
| Do your research. | |
| Teddy Ruxpin was gigantic for like two or three years. | |
| Fucking enormous in ways you wouldn't believe. | |
| It was a Teddy Ruxpin world. | |
| Y'all were just living in it. | |
| And now, I'm looking around. | |
| Teddy Ruxpin merch tattoo? | |
| Anybody? | |
| Do we have to worry about the creator? | |
| Transphobe? | |
| No? | |
| Yeah? | |
| Okay. | |
| Sorry. | |
| Hot takes only today. | |
| Yes. | |
| Roald Dahl though has stayed in the culture. | |
| You know Wonka and all that. | |
| And I think he was a bit sussy. | |
| Oh, he certainly was. | |
| I mean, but I feel like, you know, but again, like, I don't know. | |
| I don't think it's a, is it really a secret? | |
| I don't engage much with like middle America or whatever. | |
| But like, I, I read the book. | |
| So I know that the Oompa Loompas were originally like straight up pygmy African people. | |
| Yeah, like, Also, I think he was kind of anti-Semitic. | |
| Yeah, almost certainly. | |
| A lot of them were. | |
| People of the past just sucked balls because culture was worse than, like, what are you going to do? | |
| It's much more unforgivable now when you're J.K. | |
| Rowling and the thing you made happened 20 years ago and everybody could easily just be like, oh, that sucks. | |
| Time to get over it. | |
| But they can't because they're childhood. | |
| Their precious identity. | |
| What are you going to do? | |
| They don't like Harry Potter. | |
| Thank you for the question. | |
| Pancake Peasant asks, what is your favorite work of art? | |
| Feel free to interpret art as you wish. | |
| Elle. | |
| Elle's our artist. | |
| Elle's the resident art fan. | |
| Aww. | |
| No, I think she was making a joke about me being her favorite work of art. | |
| And I was like, aww. | |
| Yeah, because he said I should interpret it as you. | |
| Aha! | |
| Aha! | |
| Oh god. | |
| I thought you were calling me out for not jumping in there immediately because I was like deeply thinking about that. | |
| No, I like a lot of art. | |
| Yeah, that's, I mean... Growing up, my parents always had Gustav Klimt's The Kiss, like, in the living room. | |
| So I always just liked that, even though that's kind of, like, that's typical. | |
| That's, you know, that's like, that's a very average answer. | |
| There's a lot of good local artists in Arizona because, you know, it's like, there's a lot of good, like, native artists, like, like graffiti native artists, I mean, you know? | |
| If anyone's familiar with the work of Jeff Slim, he's very good. | |
| Yeah, I like a lot of art. | |
| I think my favorite piece though is Frida Kahlo's What the Water Gave Me, is the English translation. | |
| That's probably my favorite piece of art ever. | |
| Yeah, it's incredibly difficult for me to narrow it down to a single piece of art, so I will give you a couple that you may not expect. | |
| The first one is a video game. | |
| I expect our listeners to all be way too smart to not acknowledge that video games are art, but Shadow of the Colossus was a big transformative part of immersive art of my life. | |
| Really loved that. | |
| It was incredible. | |
| I have artwork of it hanging in my house. | |
| And then the second one, a weird one that always comes to mind when I'm thinking about art, so I must relate to it more than I even know that I do, is the cover artwork to the album Weasels Ripped My Flesh by Neon Park. | |
| It was the first piece of pop art that I remember seeing online and just being like, I mean, this is when I was like 13 or whatever. | |
| Somehow I saw that and I was just like, I don't know why, but I really fuck with this. | |
| And then I went out of my way to look up neon parks and other stuff. | |
| So yeah, it's just a really crazy piece of art. | |
| I'm even looking at it right now, it's making me giggle. | |
| Uh, unfortunately, I haven't gotten to see a lot of the stuff that, like, I haven't gotten to see a lot of, like, the classic Master stuff, like, in person. | |
| Uh, when I do get to, like, it's always, like, really crazy, like, when you're in front of, like, a Gougon or something, you're just like, oh, shit. | |
| Uh, but, you know. | |
| I have another answer real quick because he's a local icon or maybe them, but there's a tagger in Phoenix that goes by DUHFUC, D-U-H-F-U-C, all caps. | |
| I see them everywhere and they get really wild. | |
| You'll see a piñata hanging from a tree and it says DUHFUC on it and then there's a shoe under it that says what the fuck. | |
| But then there's just like general tags. | |
| I met someone in an alley that claimed that they were twins. | |
| It was duh and fuck, but I think that person was pulling my leg. | |
| So I'm gonna shout out DaFuck as just an artist and for their creativity, specifically that piñata, which I really liked. | |
| I am here for Arizona's version of Banksy, only not like Quit stalling fool! | |
| What's your favorite art? | |
| Oh God. | |
| The thing is, is that like, uh, when I was younger, like going to the museums and seeing, just, just seeing statues, just like, just Western, like that, like the Roman statues and all that kind of stuff. | |
| It was like, holy shit. | |
| And it so much sucks that like, that's been appropriated by neo-Nazis and other scumbags. | |
| That, like, literally, if I see a guy who's got, like, a bust of a Roman, like, some Caesar that I don't remember, or a general, or Scipio Africanus, or something, or anything, I'm like, oh, this guy's just absolute dogshit. | |
| Like, looking at all... I love reading about all, like, just the work that sculptors have done to, like, build, like, these ridiculous things, and, like, all the effort that goes into making it. | |
| And then to just have that transformed into just being, this is white culture, and this is why, it's like, goddammit, why? | |
| Why do you people have to ruin everything? | |
| Why are you such shit? | |
| It's just, they've even ruined you. | |
| You turned our question about which art do you like into cursing your enemies. | |
| Yes, yes! | |
| Because that is Mike's favorite art. | |
| Mike's favorite art is whenever Post gets him to rant at his enemies. | |
| He hates his enemies so much. | |
| Mike's favorite piece of art is QAnon. | |
| The original LARP. | |
| QAnon. | |
| For giving him an unlimited well of vitriol. | |
| And by that extension, Mike's favorite piece of art is the Bible! | |
| The holy fucking Bible! | |
| Because it's just unlimited ammo! | |
| For his whole fucking life! | |
| I was literally going to say my favorite artist is God, but you got there ahead of me. | |
| You win. | |
| El has me pegged and I have no defense. | |
| Also, shout out to the art. | |
| If you want to see me smile, all you have to do is get me to look at this particular piece of artwork, and that is the art for the card in Magic the Gathering named Basking Rootwalla by Heather Hudson. | |
| He's such a happy little guy, and he always just makes me feel happy looking at him. | |
| Blurred Mongoose does that for me. | |
| I don't know why Blurred Mongoose makes me laugh so much, but the art on that card is just hilarious to me. | |
| That's weird, because you can't even see it properly. | |
| Nope. | |
| It's so blurry. | |
| SpaceOrCats asks, why do billionaires keep taking submarines to the Titanic? | |
| They crave death. | |
| Clearly, hubris. | |
| They just have this, like, I can do what the Titanic couldn't. | |
| I can survive at these depths. | |
| Oh wait, no, I can't! | |
| Tough break, idiots! | |
| It's hubris mixed with, like, what remains of humanity's, like, spirit of exploration. | |
| You know? | |
| Because we haven't gotten to the point where we can explore anything. | |
| Like, you know, we still can't get into space beyond, like, close to us. | |
| So, it's like the only other place these dumbfuck billionaires who are just like, Like, I want to see something no one else has ever seen! | |
| Like, I have the resources to do it! | |
| I want to be a place that almost no one can go! | |
| Like, the only place they can go is down. | |
| Because at least, like, even if the technology's not there, like, you could rigorously test going down technology without needing the government to be involved. | |
| Phrasing. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You know, so I think that is part of it. | |
| They just want to do and see stuff that no one else is capable of doing or seeing, and in order to do that, they have to fuck with submarines. | |
| Or try to go into space, which billionaires are also doing, you know? | |
| Like, a bunch of billionaires went into space, just to say they did it, and as soon as there's a technological breakthrough that will allow one of them to safely go to the moon or whatever, like, they'll be fucking lining up to do that, too. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, like, that's, uh... | |
| The movie Elysium, or whatever. | |
| That's the dream, is they just get to build the space station and absolve themselves of all the dangers of climate change and all the rest of it. | |
| That is a very accurate movie of our future, even though I don't think I particularly liked the movie. | |
| I was like, yeah, that'll happen. | |
| Yeah, I don't know. | |
| Neil Blomkamp's movies always seem like they're missing, like, heart. | |
| Which is a bummer, because I do like his visual style and I love his grimy South African aesthetic, but there's always just like, there's like something core to it that just never really resonates the way I would like. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Civil War is now streaming. | |
| Oh, cool. | |
| Yep. | |
| Okay. | |
| But now streaming for quote-unquote free if you already own the service, and if so, on which service? | |
| I don't know, and I don't know, and I mean, you know, pirate it. | |
| I mean I guess, but then I'm gonna have to like sit down and watch it on like my fucking computer. | |
| I'll see if it'll be on Max. | |
| It'll probably be on Max for free in like a couple weeks. | |
| Dune 2 is on Max. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's my favorite part of that movie. | |
| For people who've seen Dune II, like at the end of the movie, our boy Paul Atreides does a thing and his buddy Sogar gets very excited and just says, listen, I'll get you. | |
| But the way that somebody with their team scores a touchdown in a football game, he's like, he's pumping the fist. | |
| He's just like, listen, I'll get you! | |
| He's like, yeah! | |
| Yeah! | |
| He's just so awesome. | |
| What a great performance. | |
| And our final question from the audience is from Eric, the Deep State Operative, who asks, This is, of course, nonsense, but it got me wondering, Why is it that the biggest names in Hollywood are almost all Democrats? | |
| Excited for common sense and decency, of course. | |
| Okay, well, I invite that person to explain to me why Robert De Niro isn't washed up. | |
| When was the last time he was in anything that, like, anybody cared about? | |
| Was he in that nine-hour-long movie that Scorsese did recently? | |
| The Irishman or whatever the hell? | |
| The Irishman? | |
| Yeah, but a bunch of people talked about that for exactly two weeks and its legacy is, man, the CGI in that looked fucking weird. | |
| Nobody really talks about it for how great it was. | |
| They talk about it for how weird it looked. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Robert De Niro is clearly a great actor from back in the day, but I would say that he hasn't really been to any barn burners recently, so maybe he is washed up. | |
| I feel like I saw a commercial with him recently, but I think it was for one of those old man movies. | |
| And I know that this listener is savvy enough to... I'm just taking the bait they threw out there. | |
| They were just like, washed up actor, which is of course nonsense. | |
| You'd think I didn't see that bait, but that bait looked delicious. | |
| I'm a fish. | |
| Right in there. | |
| Right on that hook for ya. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Uh, I'm sure they're gonna say that his bit part in Joker was great or something, so, I mean, uh... It's just he's in Killers of the Flower Moon. | |
| To be fair, I haven't actually seen Joker all the way through, so I did forget he was in that movie. | |
| Oh, that's right, he's a meme. | |
| He's a meme of our lifetime. | |
| He's not washed up, he's a meme. | |
| I mean, you can be washed up and a meme. | |
| No, he's an icon. | |
| Um, but uh, I love it. I love the idea that you can't be washed up if you become a man. | |
| That would be great. | |
| And celebrities are desperately fighting to become memes so they can avoid it. | |
| Do you even know the Napoleon Dynamite Kid's name? | |
| Because I don't, and he's in a lot of memes. | |
| As for the question, I think that being liberal just leads itself to being more creative and more expressive. | |
| I think being conservative kind of boxes you in. | |
| You're more constrained by the way you see the world. | |
| And I think that that's what... | |
| Leads, like, creative people into being actors and artists and musicians. | |
| Creating art is, like, always, not always, but frequently, like, you know, like, it incredibly, like, it requires you to, like, connect emotionally with yourself to produce a thing. | |
| Like, if you're writing music or, you know, you're fucking, like, committing something to whatever. | |
| Like, you know, and, like, for a lot of that process, like, You know, the traits that it requires to be good at that, like really connecting with something to like bring out a performance or whatever. | |
| I feel like the sort of more conservative Christian Republican worldview and their ideas of culture would sort of like look down on those like Effeminate, not masculine, just like, ugh, getting in touch with your feelings. | |
| I don't care if you're trying to be, pretend to be somebody else. | |
| That's, no, don't do that. | |
| Like, suck it up or whatever, you know? | |
| Like, do you think, like, conservative Christians are gonna be proud that their son can cry on command? | |
| Probably not. | |
| I mean, I don't know. | |
| So, I think that has a lot to do with it. | |
| It just seems like the way that they want their culture to be doesn't, like, isn't conducive to producing other culture. | |
| Seems like it's conducive to stamping it out. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I, I, I, I agree with that. | |
| I just, and I, I just think that, um, liberalism leads you to being more willing to like, kind of take those risks and be more creative and expressive. | |
| I think like, as you age in that genre, you can become reactionary and conservative later on. | |
| But I think when you like kind of start out, I think it's kind of inevitable that you're going to be, um, you're going to be more, uh, like, Feeling it that way that you're gonna be like sort of hey like I think everyone's cool We should all get along we should all be like trying to like create and project and manifest and do cool stuff And then later on you're just sort of like hey all these Filthy libs want to take all my riches and give them to poor people that sucks Now I'm angry, and I'm gonna go to the Republican National Convention and argue with an empty chair So how you like them apples libs boom got you roasted? | |
| Also, to be successful as, like, an artist, you have to be willing to play the game. | |
| Unless you're, like, an unquestionable super talent or whatever. | |
| That means you have to be in, like, a lot of rooms with a lot of people and you have to be willing to make concessions. | |
| Like, hey, you can't succeed and also hate Jews publicly on your Twitter. | |
| Is it possible for you to just, like, cool it with that sort of rhetoric? | |
| And for some people, they're just like, no, absolutely not. | |
| I cannot do that. | |
| Uh, and their name is Kanye West, and they were the biggest person on the planet for a long time, and now they're persona non grata. | |
| So, like, it turns out that Republican bullshit and, uh, stupid, like, white nationalist talking points is, uh, like box office poison, you dig? | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| Yeah, if you ever try to sit through one of those daily wire slop pieces of shit movies or shows that they put out, it's soulless crap. | |
| Oh god, I almost want to like hate watch that Adam Carolla animated series because It looks so bad and it looks so bad for all the reasons that you would expect it to because they just don't know they don't know how to write that show and it's just so brutal and what's really funny is I saw like someone said check the replies on this and I like clicked on it and it was a clip from the show | |
| And all the replies were from gripers and anti-Semites calling them like calling them like Jews aborted Mossad funded trash and how their dog shit and it was so weird that like their target audience was just being so viciously anti-Semitic and hating them and I don't even know what Oh, it's gotta be Ben Shapiro being Jewish, and the fact that the show's produced by them. | |
| It's like, oh yeah, Jews made this cartoon, so it has to suck, even though they're pandering to us. | |
| It depresses me that I couldn't solve that puzzle. | |
| I was like, Wheel of Fortune. | |
| With every letter but one not revealed, and I'm still just like, I don't know what it says. | |
| I just don't know what it says. | |
| Seize the- And then eventually you triumphantly said it, right in the butt! | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| I was like, light in the butt? | |
| No, right in the butt! | |
| Yes! | |
| Got it! | |
| That'll be like a perfect little timestamp for exactly when we were recording this because that soundbite that's been going around will be popular for exactly 48 hours. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yes. | |
| For those of you who haven't seen it yet, feel free to look at Wheel of Fortune right in the butt. | |
| You'll see Pat Sajak being like, fuck it, this is why I'm retiring. | |
| You fuck. | |
| No! | |
| He's like, I love Pat Sajak's kind of like more and more open contempt for the contestants on the show as it's been going on. | |
| So good. | |
| You're a legend, King. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And so that brings us to our final question as always. | |
| What are you guys looking forward to? | |
| Fucking no. | |
| I hope that it would kickstart my ability to say a real thing that I'm excited for. | |
| Oh, technically my day of birth is coming up soon. | |
| Yay! | |
| So I don't know if I'm doing anything for that because I'm honestly not sure if any of my friends remember. | |
| That it's approaching because no one has said anything. | |
| Not that it's a big deal. | |
| Usually all I want to do is play board games and eat Indian food anyway. | |
| So I'm assuming that we can do that this weekend if we need to. | |
| Once I use the power of a little bit of shame. | |
| Just be like, oh right, it was my birthday. | |
| And then I'll be like, nice, my free Indian food. | |
| So yeah, that means that pretty much within the next week, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be eating Indian food, which is one of my favorite things to do. | |
| That's cool. | |
| What are you looking forward to, Haley? | |
| Um, just, uh, chillin'. | |
| I'm looking forward to chillin'. | |
| Maybe more pickleball. | |
| You have been pretty busy recently. | |
| Is it like throttling down for you? | |
| Are you getting some chance to catch your breath? | |
| I think maybe after this week I'm finally going to be able to chill. | |
| Nice. | |
| Well, there we go. | |
| We're rooting for you. | |
| Hopefully. | |
| And I'm looking forward to the NBA Finals because my sports team, the Boston Celtics, are now in the NBA Finals, which is not starting until next Thursday. | |
| They beat the shit out of their team so dominantly that they now get to take over a week off before having to play basketball again. | |
| That kind of sucks, right? | |
| It's going to be hard to stay playoff, championship loose with 10 days in between games. | |
| Yeah, but one of their best players has a calf injury and they've been touch and go on when that guy's going to be back. | |
| So that guy having 10 days off is what we're really hoping for, that they'll finally get him back on the court. | |
| On the other side of the bracket, our opponent is probably going to be the Dallas Mavericks, which is awesome because one of their stars is a former Celtic, Kyrie Irving, who hated the Celts. | |
| When he left, he basically burned the place to the ground on his way out. | |
| Like, uh, when he won a game on as a road team, he like stomped on the unicorn. | |
| He stomped on the leprechaun's face on the, on the court. | |
| Like, he's just literally a pro wrestling villain for Boston. | |
| It's just so magical that he could come back here to try to win a title off of us. | |
| And the garden, like literally every time he touches the ball, the crowd's gonna be like, so it's just. | |
| It's just all lining up to be a hilariously entertaining series and hopefully the Celtics win the thing. | |
| That'd be cool. | |
| Because us Boston sports fans, we yearn for excellence. | |
| We haven't had any victories in our lives. | |
| The poor plight of us. | |
| Oh, our sweet little lads. | |
| So yeah. | |
| The underdogs. | |
| The plucky underdogs. | |
| The pluckiest underdogs. | |
| Boston sports fans, yes. | |
| Oh God. | |
| See? | |
| But Mike, notice the difference. | |
| I notice the difference. | |
| When you're talking about something that you actually like, it doesn't turn into a rant about your interests. | |
| You just love sports, and you weren't just like, yeah, and then also Republicans can eat a dick for no reason. | |
| I'm not angry at Kyrie. | |
| I mean, I had hate in that take, dammit. | |
| But it was like, it was hate that was like, you know, it was on target, it was focused. | |
| Fair, I can accept that. | |
| It wasn't your general thrashing. | |
| I love that I have general thrashing, that's great. | |
| Yeah, if you ever need a wrestling persona, like a nom de guerre, there you go. | |
| You can be general thrashing. | |
| I'm here for that. | |
| Alright, before the wheels continue to fall off any further on this show, we're gonna get this one the fuck out of here. | |
| Pilot this sloppy jalopy to the borders of Hellworld and escape for the week. | |
| Thank you so much for listening and for supporting the show! | |
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| Shut up. | |
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| So feel free to check that out at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics. | |
| Thank you so much to all of the beautifuller babies who are already up in the crib. | |
| If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we totally get it. | |
| You can do good with it in a lot of different ways, especially in the world being as it is right now. | |
| Specifically, I'm looking at you, Palestine, and Israel being a bunch of pieces of shit to protect Palestine and civilians. | |
| But if you just want the general recommendation with no politics involved, love146.org. | |
| They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation. | |
| Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our original theme song that was accidentally remixed by Mike Raines himself into what you heard at the top of the show. | |
| What a bop! | |
| Still no social media for him. | |
| What a legend. | |
| Thanks as always to Frosty, aka FrostyVO, on Blue Sky for all of our voice work, including our bumpers and the voice of Q when we need it, etc. | |
| Go over to Blue Sky and check them out. | |
| You can find the show on Twitter, at hellworld with a Q instead of an O. You can find me, the Mysterious L, back on Twitter, like a champ, at hellworldbatty, spelled that same way when it comes to the Q instead of an O. | |
| You can find Haley on various social media at Arizona Right Watch and Mike Rains, of course, on various social media at Poker Politics. | |
| So for another successful of the episode, another successful of the episode, my God, let's try that again. | |
| For another successful episode of the Adventures of the Hellbound podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mike Rains, aka Poker and Politics. |