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May 3, 2024 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:37:04
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #187: RIP Cricket

This week we have a ton of Arizona news and we also cover Soros funding the protests at colleges across America, RFK Jr. getting weirder than usual and of course Governor Noem murdering her dog. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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You You
You Content Warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I'm joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch.
Hello, everybody.
I just got here.
I've been on the road for so long, and I just got back like 30 minutes ago, and then my microphone wasn't working.
Everything's going good.
It's always smooth here on the Hellworld podcast.
Nothing but blue skies and clear, clear sailing.
That's the way we operate in Hellworld.
And this week we are joined by Eric, the Deep State Operative.
Hello from the Windy City.
I am As said before, Eric, the Deep State Operative, and I am here to keep an eye on this and make sure that it's all following Soros' commands.
Oh, man, if only I had thought about that beforehand.
We could have built you up as, like, our liaison with Cabal Headquarters.
Oh my god.
Yeah, Alarm, that's cool.
Oh, oh God, that'd be so great if we, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if we did, if we did like a critical role or any other D&D role-playing show, but it was more based off like the Illuminati and it was like all that kind of stuff.
So like Super Chess Game, Cyberpunk.
Yes.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
We, we, we could do Shadowrun.
We could do a Shadowrun show.
I mean, I played in, like, people want, because I, I mean, I am the quintessential nerd.
I just radiate dork with thick glasses and tape around the nose.
I'm just, I fully acknowledge that.
I've even had, like, one QAnon promoter, like, say, like, Poker's just some nerd who's gotten a taste of power, and now he's turning it back on all the bullies that abused him in high school.
And it's like, And I'm just like, NO I'M NOT!
SHUT UP!
But the thing is, people always ask me, they're like, Poker, you're obviously a fucking nerd.
How much D&D have you played?
And my answer is, not a lot.
Because every role-playing adventure I've ever been involved in, the GM or the DM just sucked.
Just sucked.
They just wouldn't do things that were what a DM was supposed to do.
And I played a Shadowrun campaign, and...
We, like, we were security for one of the, like, Omnicorps that was, like, in this town.
And we fought this biker gang, and we had this, like, firefight.
And we must have killed, like, 60 of these bikers.
And the next session, the biker gang's, like, still coming after us.
And it's like, their morale doesn't break!
Like, the five of us just put down 60 of these people!
Like, what are we fighting?
The Japanese from World War II?
I mean, what is going on here?
Did nobody at Biker HQ say, you know, guys, maybe we should leave these guys alone, seeing as how they just walked into a room outnumbered 10 to 1 and won.
They didn't take a scratch and they dropped 60 of us.
Maybe we should let sleeping dogs lie.
Nope.
Biker gang still coming at us with their full fury.
And it was just, it was just like, man, like, and like later, and basically like one of the people in the session, like they were friends of the GM and the GM was like, yeah, you guys just weren't doing what I wanted you to do.
So like biker gang all day.
And it was like, I'm sorry, that just, that kind of piqued me.
Cause I've, I've been a player and a GM.
And one thing, one thing I learned is you really got to roll the punches.
Like, um, Like, one of my favorite things to do, and I've actually mentioned this in the context of QAnon promoters, is that if a player says something that really hits you, they're like, wait, what if this is happening because of this?
And you'd be like, yes, yes, that was my plan from the beginning.
You crack the code.
Good job.
And then you look awesome.
That was literally Q's save at the end of the first series of drops.
Because basically, Q starts posting October 28th, 2017, and he basically says,
this thing's going to have a bow put on it on November 3rd.
Like, this thing is going to be done in five days.
And Qdrop72 is literally a dork on the forum saying, wait a minute, all that shit that just happened in Saudi Arabia, you think that was what Q was up to?
And Q did what would basically be a quote tweet on 4chan and was like, boom, there you go, bro.
Nailed it.
That's exactly what we did.
So literally what you just said is what Q did.
He literally just took a suggestion from a player and put it into the campaign and just rolled with it.
Dapper Gander has made this same statement before.
Dapper Gander's made that same observation.
That Q is just the GM, just cherry-picking the best ideas from the audience to put into the campaign.
And that's how they operate.
And no, it's not a time-traveling super-secret spy who works with Trump.
It's just a LARPer.
Eric, you're a listener like our other listeners.
Tell our listeners a little bit more about yourself.
What do you like to do?
Well, lately I don't do a whole lot because I have a full-time job, I'm going to school to get my bachelor's degree, and I have a family, so those three things take up pretty much all my time.
I wish I had, like, I'm always, like, Stephanie, a friend of the show, she's been on a few times.
I'm always telling her, because she's down on herself, and I'm like, no, you're great.
You're out there, you're talking to people, you're getting stuff done.
I wish I was doing that kind of activism, but there's only so many hours in the day.
Well, you're raising a family, you know, that's a big job.
More than me.
I'm into it.
Oh, man.
Like, literally, you're just hitting us with a Homer Simpson, where I'm like, I'm sleeping in my race car bed!
And you're like, yeah, I'm sleeping on my big bed with my wife.
Literally, look at me.
It's practically a race car bed behind me.
It's just a children's room for a child.
I have no children.
My wife would totally get a race car bed if I asked her to.
It's a great idea.
You know what actually fit on the Hello World podcast was because we're all, it's three losers.
Yeah.
You've actually won at life.
Like, way to go, guy who's going to graduate college and have a family.
Oh, fucking shit.
Oh man.
It's yeah.
But that's like one of the things that like really just kind of blows my mind is every now and then I have people talking to me and they're like, wow, like you're like just friendly or whatever.
And I'm just like, This is... me having a fan is terrible.
Something has gone horribly wrong in this world.
That me, this bag of slime that barely crawled out of the primordial muck, that I could have anyone think that I'm worthy of any level of adulation is just like, man, this is fucked.
This is so fucked.
I just have to.
I mean, it's just because of the fact that I'm a sicko.
I've always been into this kind of stuff for the longest time.
I mentioned this on a few pods, but it's like arguing with Christians online about creationism and evolution and even just atheism, Christianity.
That was my jam for the longest time.
And then I went down the dark road of being a nut for a few years.
Then I denutified.
But I was always monitoring the Illuminati and that kind of stuff.
I was always into this sort of like, I was into studying religion as like a sort of just intellectual curiosity.
And conspiracy theories are just the new religion.
Because they try to like, because the big problem of Christianity and basically, like Western religions is the problem with evil, where it's just sort of like, How does an all-powerful God allow bad things to happen?
Like, how do we square that circle?
And conspiracy theories answer that question by just saying, the bad people run everything.
And like, the OG of that was the Illuminati, where like, bad people run everything, and we're just screwed until God wakes up and decides to do anything about it.
And then QAnon was just like, bad people run everything, but Donald Trump is gonna save the day!
And it's just like, man, that is...
There could be no more bizarre religion than that.
Mormonism makes sense by comparison.
And of all people for Christians to hitch their saddle to, they go with a womanizing playboy.
He shifts in a gold toilet.
Right!
My counter to that is always, no, he's never used that toilet because he's in Depends all the time.
Boom.
Roasted.
He's super boom.
No, I love it.
He's just like us.
I'm like, yes, yeah.
You know, when his servants put his pants on him, they do it one leg at a time.
Just like your servants do, poor guy.
Yes.
That was, oh my God.
I will never forget this conversation.
I was in a mall and this guy was talking to me about Obama's tax plan.
And he was basically just sort of like, I'm going to get taxed so much by Obama and blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, dude, you work at GameStop.
What the fuck are you talking about?
You're not making more than a quarter million a year in wages.
Like you don't have to worry about this.
He's like, what if I own a house?
And I'm like, well, if you inherited a house, it's still not going to get taxed that much.
Like you're not, Obama's not coming for your money, buddy.
Nor your guns.
Remember that?
They're always coming for our guns!
Yeah, I'm old enough to remember Clinton coming for our guns.
I remember when Obama came and took my gun.
Oh god that uh...
Yep, I just don't prefer gas stoves.
Oh Biden's coming for our gas stoves, and according to The Onion, he's walking back to the White House podium after beating the shit out of protesters, and I'm just like,
I just, oh my god, I just, like, I, apologies to Ben Collins, I know you're not listening, I don't care, but it's just, like, this is a true thing that happened with the Onion a million years ago, which is that basically, They apologized for the Diamond Joe series.
I don't know if you know what that is.
Basically, it was like Joe Biden was some crazy renegade outlaw that was constantly on the lam.
Obama headaches because he was just basically running a criminal enterprise out of the White House
But it was like this like slapdash comical thing like they're big articles like Joe Biden says he's going to Mexico for a
few months Until quote-unquote the heat blows over
It was just like all this kind of stuff or like just Biden was this lunatic like low-level crime boss and
It was a really funny series and then like one day Okay, like in the Obama days were you know it was funny
because Joe was like that that overeager puppy, you know Right, right.
But then, like, basically, I don't know if it was in 2016 or more, it was 2020, The Onion Raiders basically just came out and were like, we're sorry we made Biden look so cool.
It was just like, why are you being sad about your funny articles?
Because you're afraid that people are going to vote for Diamond Joe now?
Like, what the hell is wrong with you?
Oh my god.
So yeah, enough of that.
I'm probably going to get myself cancelled by being very mad at the onion for a long time now.
You're cancelled.
You're cancelled for being mad at Ben Collins' onion, new onion, the old onion.
You know, whatever.
Okay, we're done.
Yes.
We're done.
And now we're going to the amuse-bouche.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
So I think I'll just jump in with our first topic, which we didn't have down originally, but that is the fact that George Soros is funding all these protests across America.
It's true.
He's buying the tents.
He's buying the tents for the college protesters.
All these kids are going to their local Dick's Sporting Goods or wherever you go for your outdoor camping needs.
And when the cashier is just like, how are you going to pay for this?
You're like, put it on my Soros card.
And they just, like, swipe it through.
And the credit reader actually just, like, starts, like, spitting out money, because that's what your Soros card does for you.
It's incredible.
It's an awesome thing.
He's funding bucket drums.
I've been to a couple.
There's a lot of bucket drums.
You know, I think if Soros was funding it, he could fund some real drums.
It's the music of the streets.
It is.
I like the bucket drum.
I think it has good rhythm, and people who are confident enough to bang the bucket drum literally all day.
It's just an all-day thing.
It's like, they're good at it.
They get good at it.
The people who do the bucket drum and the people who do the chants at the megaphone, they're just nailing it constantly.
That's their role.
Well, you know, they're being paid to do it.
Yep, they're trained in bucket drums and megaphone champs.
All I'm imagining right now is people actually being paid for high quality drums and all I can think of them doing is just banging out the Terminator theme, just dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!
And I'm just like, why that?
I'm like, because it's the only drum theme I really know that goes hard.
It's just like the hard drum theme I could think of.
And I probably just blew out like half of our audience's ears by doing that.
So I apologize.
I love the nine-dimensional chess of this argument.
But it's just like, I just, I love the nine dimensional chess of this argument.
I love, because it's so idiotic and it's so insane that you can just see the
conspiracy theorist wrapping their head around it and going, yeah, yeah.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This whole, it's all coming together now, baby.
Because you have the Jewish Soros, who's obviously pro-Israel, and then he's funding these pro-Palestine protests in all these colleges.
So that then the protesters will be arrested by the cops, and then what?
We will feel sympathy for the Palestinian movement and Soros' position will be weakened?
But it all works out if you just squint at it hard enough, you'll make it make sense.
That's basically the goal.
I mean, it's The actual thing I've heard from people is they're saying like, oh, this is just what they do every election cycle.
Like in 2020, it was Black Lives Matter.
And they can't come up with anything really from like 2016.
So they're sort of like, yeah, 2016 stuff happened.
And then in 2020, it was BLM.
So they just have to create this pattern recognition idea.
And even though they can't formulate exactly why the bad people would be doing this thing, the bad people are doing it.
Because the only reason why anything happens in the world is because the bad people want it to happen, or the good people are mounting a counter-insurgency to defeat the bad people.
Also, a lot of the people, a lot of the cops on campus are campus cops, and they're getting called on by the campus administration themselves.
And I thought Soros funded big gay DEI education, so is he funding both sides?
Is that what the conspiracy is?
And is this happening at state colleges?
I was hearing about Columbia earlier, but then I was also hearing about Arizona.
So is this state or private colleges this is happening at?
Oh, Soros' reach is infinite.
It's everywhere.
I mean, because I could see them, you know, blaming Soros for like what's happening at a state college because, you know, state colleges are evil liberal breeding grounds.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just so funny, because I just finished listening to one right-winger talk about these protests, and their mindset was just sort of like, look guys, you and I both want the cops to crush these protesters' skulls, but that might not play well for us, so we have to rein back our latent authoritarianism And just want this to be relaxed, because, like, I mean, like, we all want Gaza to be turned into a parking lot, but, like, maybe Joe Public won't want that if too many protesters get beaten up.
Everything about this issue drives me nuts.
It's just the wildest thing.
I'm going to rein myself in.
We're going to go to the next topic real quick after this.
Go ahead, Hayley.
No, I have nothing.
I'm just watching you rage.
Oh, no, Hayley was just making hand gestures.
Like, I got a point there.
What she was actually doing was telling me, Mike, breathe, breathe, release your heart rhythm.
I thought you were doing, like, that goth hand wave dance or something.
Oh man, our audience is doing some serious theater of the mind stuff.
They have no idea what's going on.
Oh my god.
No, but the thing that just drives me up a wall about all this stuff is that you have these people that are protesting on behalf of Palestine and they're like, fuck Joe Biden, fuck Joe Biden.
And then you literally have Donald Trump get in front of a podium and be like, when I'm in power, The Palestinian people will yearn for the tender embrace of genocide, Joe!
You have no idea the unfettered death devastation!
I will rain down on the Palestinian people!
Me and Netanyahu will destroy them all!
And then the protesters are like, Trump!
Trump!
Trump!
And it's like...
Did you just hear what he said?
He's nuts.
He's a rabid dog.
He hates the Palestinian people and Muslims more than anything on this earth.
I'll just bank shot my vote for Trump.
and it'll be okay.
Oh yeah, let's see it.
I'll just bank shot my vote for Trump.
If that makes it morally justifiable, it's just like...
It's just, oh my God, just all of it.
It's just the most frustrating thing in the world.
Because people are just like...
Like, Trump is this craven opportunist who will take the popular position because he just wants to get cheered and celebrated.
And it's like, if he wanted to take the popular position, he could just be like, this Joe Biden's a wackadoodle!
We gotta rein Israel in!
We gotta work on the two-state solution!
And no, he just sees where Biden is and goes way hard right, way past him.
And all these people that are shitting on Biden are just like, you know, I like the cut of this Trump's chip.
Maybe we could do something with this guy.
Maybe we can work with him.
And it's like, no you can't!
He literally is telling you what he wants to do!
He's a monster!
And it's just like, oh my god.
We don't even have politics anymore in America.
We just have nihilism.
We just have rampant, brainworm-infested nihilism.
And it's just wild.
It's just super wild.
And I get it.
I mean, I get it.
Like, like where Biden is, is this shitty baby splitting, like King Solomon crap that I get.
And I understand that people are frustrated by it, but it's just like, the other side of this equation is far worse.
And the fact that so many people will not grok that, it's like, look, hold your nose and vote for Joe.
That's all I'm asking.
And then we can, we can piss and moan about how much he fucking sucks for the next four years after that.
But the alternative?
Holy smokes!
As the Arizona section of today's show will indicate, the alternative is not great.
Anyhow, enough about all this.
I'm going to try to get my heartbeat rate down to a nice comfortable 120 beats a second here.
There, there was this guy that I followed before QAnon and his, his, uh, his, his YouTube channel is still up.
I'm sure it was called a call for an uprising.
I think his name may have changed a little, but like the guy would always do these really angry YouTube videos.
You're like, what's going on guys call for an uprising here with today's terrible news.
And he was a huge Illuminati guy.
He did this one video where he was screaming and yelling so much that in the comment section, a lot of his fans were like, great video.
Take a breath.
Great video.
Hope, hope you're, hope you're okay.
Like he was just like this guy who was like a professional yeller managed to get himself so bent out of shape in this one episode that his audience was just like, whew.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
So anyhow, onto lighter and fluffier topics now.
Is the Bible being outlawed in America?
God, I hope so.
God, I hope so.
Fuck the First Amendment.
Fuck religion.
Let's do this.
The godless states of America, if only.
If you haven't heard, you are most likely not dealing with a lot of right-wing shitbags we're trying to grift.
But the House, I believe it was the House, has passed an anti-Semitism bill, and it passed like five million to four.
With Marjorie Taylor Greene being one of the nays, because Marjorie Taylor Greene and a bunch of other clowns are very upset because this bill states that it is anti-Semitic to state that Jews killed Jesus.
And Marjorie and Christians of her ilk are like, no, that is a very core tenet of our Christianity, that the Jews killed Jesus.
We need that.
Mel Gibson is very upset.
Mel Gibson is, oh man.
I mean, that's Mel's life.
Mel's whole life is the Jews killing his savior.
Yeah, so there's a lot of posts in QAnon and other right-wing areas being like, the Bible to be banned?
The Bible as hate speech?
And it's just like all this stuff where they're just finding ways to have this hissy fit about the fact that this bill It's just like Pontius Pilate was the guy that killed Jesus, according to the Bible.
He was the one that did the trial and he was like, OK, fine, kill that man.
And great.
So, I mean, I. Yeah.
So this is this is where we are.
This is where we are just trying to tamp down racism and extremism in America.
And the extremists are like, but my holy book says it.
I mean, my holy book says that group of people killed Jesus, so I have to believe it.
It's this weird thing going on where, like, these white Christians, well, I mean, they're mostly white, but they want to be oppressed so badly.
It's like, we see, you know, people are bending over backwards for the black peoples, for the Jews, you know, where's my piece of the pie?
And it's like, dude, you are the pie.
We're trying to spread it around to everyone else here.
Oh yeah, I saw, like, there was a post like that where someone was like, like, after 1-7 Jews are now feeling the hatred all white people used to feel.
And it's like, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, the terrible burden of the white man.
Oh, let me tell you.
You know, Shelly Kirk?
Yeah!
Yeah, because you know, Jews have had a free ride throughout history.
And not a bump in the road.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It is.
Yeah.
I mean, it's so ridiculous.
It's just so insane, the fact that, as you just said, these people want to be oppressed.
They want to claim that they're getting screwed over.
And it's like, no, you're not.
If you're a white guy in America, you're playing life on easy mode.
That's how this works.
And if you're a Christian white guy, you're playing on story mode.
You're not even playing on easy mode.
You don't even have to do any combat.
You just go through your life and you just win.
That's just how this works.
I mean, it's just super easy.
And I just don't understand, like, how these people can get all upset about this stuff.
And the last part of this whole thing when it comes to the Bible is, didn't Jesus have to die?
Wasn't that the whole point?
Was that he was killed for our sins and then he was resurrected?
So it's like, If you're like, the Jews killed Jesus, boo!
And it's like, why are you booing?
That was the prophecy.
That was Christ's destiny to be fulfilled.
You should be like, way to go, Jews.
You did what God wanted you to.
Excellent work, Jews.
It's just, it's so dumb.
It's just absolutely incoherent.
Yeah, it's just weird Christian anti-Semitism.
It's not good.
Not good.
Not good.
Yeah, I mean, this is a lot of how Christians view Israel as being important only because it fulfills their end times prophecies.
Yeah.
And then the pretzels they have to twist and stuff into are like, oh no, the Israelis are the good Jews.
They're not the Zionist, Khazarian bankers, you know, who are ruining everything.
And then what you just said is then you have the QAnon people that do like the triple reverse bank shot where they're just like, the Israeli civilians are the good Jews.
The people that run Israel are the Kazarian Zionist bankers that are willing to sacrifice their citizens because they're not even really Jewish.
It's like Brian Cates.
Brian Cates has just gone completely mask off in the last like month.
He's just like, Anti-Semitism is good, and I love it!
And it's just like, oh my god.
I mean, the Epoch Times is not exactly a reputable news source, but it's like, man, even they must feel a little shame about having hired that man at one point to work for them.
It's like, oh boy, oh boy, yeah.
Never let Brian Cates darken our doors again.
Holy smokes.
So yeah, that was all fun and silliness.
And rounding out the regular section of our boosh, because boy howdy do we have a meaty Arizona section.
The Trump trial continues apace.
It has been, not much has happened since last we left in the sense that there's been no Simpsons fearing lunatics committing suicide outside the trial.
No word of Trump pooping himself, although he has once again, the last couple days, it's been acknowledged that he's sleeping at the trial again.
Apparently someone's finally whispered in Trump's ear that he has been caught sleeping, because he posted on Truth Social that he is not sleeping at the trial!
How dare you!
How dare you claim such a thing, good sirs!
And that he is merely resting his beautiful blue eyes!
Oh my God, he used to say that.
And he was a liar.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Yeah.
So yeah, he, um, right now we're still in the prosecution section of this thing.
And we are going through all the paperwork of, uh, Trump, uh, paying
off Stormy Daniels and then having her story quashed and all that good stuff.
One thing I saw from a reporter about this was that a lot of what is happening right now is public record shit.
That the prosecution was just like, okay, this is all in the public record, so we're just going to put it into evidence and the jury can read the transcripts or whatever.
And Trump's defense team was like, no, we object.
And then the prosecution was like, this, everyone knows this, what are you doing?
And Trump's team was like, go fuck yourself, buddy.
So then the prosecution was like, fine, we will literally call these witnesses to restate what they already said.
And that is what's going on.
The prosecution is literally just rehashing shit.
Trump's defense team is literally wasting a week or two of everyone's time to just make stuff get into the court record via testimony instead of just public record.
It is super weird.
I saw someone call that a delay tactic, which makes perfect sense because that's Trump's entire legal strategy throughout his life is delay, delay, delay.
And I love the idea of, like, he's like, buddy, you're already in the trial.
The trial is only gonna go, like, six weeks to two months at most.
Like, you, like, what are you, like, are you thinking, like, something's gonna happen, and, like, the courtroom's gonna burn down, and they're like, oh man, we're never gonna be able to rebuild this courtroom until after the election.
Darn.
Aw, shucks.
Black's gonna come in with that piece of evidence that just totally flips the case.
Oh, man.
I was just staying in a hotel that in the continental room had like TVs fucking everywhere.
Every booth had a TV, but it was all on the Trump trial.
And it was just like nothing was happening for like the entire time I was sitting in there.
And it was just like awaiting, like coming up the Trump child.
It was just like the whole with the whole Chiron and everything is just a picture of Trump's face in every fucking booth of this Continental, just every fucking wall of this breakfast room.
I'm just like, what a nightmare.
This is like the most nightmare breakfast restaurant.
Just Trump face everywhere.
Oh, and the other thing, uh, the other big news that we got for the trial, And the other big news we've gotten from the trial is that Donald Trump is cold.
Donald Trump is a cold old man.
He has to go into that cold courtroom, and it's cold, and it makes him sleepy.
They are!
Yeah, so this former attorney said, I worked in that building for 30 years, and yes, it's cold, and it's hot.
And that's, like, the only two options.
So, you know, just grow a pair, basically.
I mean, if it's been cold every day for like a week and a half, put on some long johns under your suit.
I mean, warm yourself up, big boy.
You're a billionaire.
You could have formed some thermals.
I mean, just... God.
Yeah, it's just so silly.
So anyhow, that's going to wrap up the male voice section of the podcast for the next, I don't know, two hours.
Because boy howdy, the state of Arizona has done some things.
So we're going to throw this over to Haley.
And much like Donald Trump, I'm not going to be sleeping.
I'm going to be resting my beautiful blue eyes.
So Haley, what is going on in your crazy state?
Um, well, um, we, you know, last week it was like we got done recording and just the news decided to just take off.
Um, so we'll start with some semi-good news.
Um, last week the, um, AZ house, um, including some Republicans, just a couple, uh, You know, moved over the aisle to vote down the abortion, the territorial age abortion ban here.
It is from 1864, so that was before we were even a state.
We've talked about this for a few episodes now. Which two Republicans jumped over? Are
they at all notable or are they just like squishes? I don't remember who moved over in the AZ
house but yesterday the, oh it was Matt grass.
He was the guy that it was kind of a big deal.
We talked about him a couple weeks ago.
He's not too important, but anyways, the Senate voted yesterday and two Republicans also joined the Democrats.
One was T.J.
Shope, who is kind of like, he's kind of pegged as a moderate here, but I find that to be debatable, but he did Flip with the Dems on this one because he's in a hot seat, he's in an easily flippable seat, and he's up for re-election this year.
So he's a bitch.
He has no actual morals and he only cares about achieving power like many politicians, but we know that game.
And then the other person that actually flipped and voted with the Dems was Shauna Bullock.
Shauna Bullock is an interesting person.
She sucks.
Husband was one of the Arizona Supreme Court Justices who basically upheld the territorial ban.
Clint Bullock.
They are semi-family with Clarence Thomas and Jimmy Thomas.
Clint is like Clarence is like their children's godfather or something like that.
They're very close and Ginny tapped Shauna during the 2020 election to basically help keep Trump in office and that was all revealed through some emails and then Shauna Bullock lady introduced some legislation that would have like made it easier to basically have done that so they are a corrupt family all around um but Shauna um went with the uh like sided with the Dems to get rid of the territorial ban and she gave this big old long ass fucking speech when she was explaining her vote
um people were kind of heckling her in the in the crowd there was a lot of like anti-choice folks scattered throughout that were like regularly booing and saying things and just singing their annoying Religious and American songs.
And they were like, Heckle and Shauna, like, get over with it already!
But because she was talking about instances, she was kind of giving these like, they seemed like these hypothetical situations where it's like, just really, you know, dangerous medical instances where Oh, someone might need a, uh, an abortion.
Um, and then at the end, she basically revealed that she was talking about herself.
So she's a Republican woman.
Her husband is one of the reasons that we're in this fucking mess.
And she admitted that she, like many women and people have had an abortion.
Big shocker, but.
Yeah, so that's what happened.
Katie Hobbs signed the repeal of the ban today, so goodbye!
We're out of the fucking Civil War era, finally!
However, it doesn't go into effect until basically this session is done.
It won't go into effect like 90 days after, so technically there will be a time in Arizona For months, where abortion will be basically outlawed.
In November, we have the opportunity to enshrine abortion into the Arizona Constitution.
They're still collecting signatures for that.
You will find that at basically any cool coffee shop.
You can find people collecting signatures.
Go to a cool bookstore.
You'll find people collecting signatures.
Go to First Friday.
You'll find people collecting signatures.
Sign that fucking thing.
We're getting this shit on the fucking ballot.
And then we'll see how that all goes.
But even if that happens, we're still going to go through a period of time where clinics will probably have to stop services.
So if anybody has the resources, abortion funds in Arizona is where money could be going right now.
So that's that for that.
Let's see.
What can we talk about next?
You want to talk about some fake electors getting indicted?
Because that's just what happened.
Boy, do you know I want to!
I was hoping that would come up.
Yeah, that happened literally like an hour after we were recording last week, which was very funny.
This is kind of a big deal.
It took longer in Arizona.
Other states have done this.
States where politicians and just Republican figures tried to submit a fake slate of electors.
This happened in other states.
People faced charges for this.
Arizona, it was like, what's taking so long?
Well, it's because Chris Mays Uh, the Attorney General obviously just, she, it just became Democrat like the last election cycle.
So she kind of had to start from scratch to investigate this huge thing because we had a fuck ton of fake electors, um, including, uh, State Senator Jake Hoffman and an executive lead for Turning Point USA, Tyler Boyer.
So Tyler Boyer and Jake Hoffman are both Turning Point USA.
Jake Hoffman's an elected official.
Tyler Boyer, well, he's like a committeeman.
So, Turning Point USA in hot water for this.
Hey look, balloons on my screen.
State Senator Anthony Kern was a fake elector.
He's the guy that was just speaking in tongues on the floor a few weeks ago.
We've talked about him.
He's a fucking weirdo and he soaks.
He was also at January 6th behind restricted grounds.
Um, Kelly Ward, she used to be the Arizona GOP chairwoman.
Her and her husband are both charged.
He was not even a fucking politician, uh, but he did sign as a fake elector.
And then after she like lost her, her, her spot as the chairwoman, her and her husband, Michael, like fucked off on a yacht that they call American Honey.
They've been like, like just, Who knows?
Who knows?
You know?
Jim Lehman.
He ran for a U.S.
Senate seat in 2020.
He's like just some big rich guy here.
Anyways, fake elector.
Nancy Cottle.
Laura Pellegrino.
These are all...
Just kind of political Republican influencers here.
Um, you know, they're all charged with fraud, forgery, conspiracy, like the works.
It's great.
Um, and then basically right after this happened, um the Arizona GOP picked uh Jay Kaufman as um to be the a new national committeeman uh he just got indicted and then they also uh made Liz Harris a national committeeman she's that woman who we talked about like months ago who started the housing scheme conspiracy like
that kind of got a little bit too hot by accusing a bunch of Republicans of also being in on
the conspiracy.
That they were basically taking bribes, housing deed bribes, to like lie about the election.
It's all just Trump shit.
It's all just like you're all lying to cover up the election for Trump.
And she started to blame some, accuse some Republicans of being in on that scheme and
they expelled her.
But then they decided, you know what, let's make her national committeeman.
So.
What did I say earlier about nihilism replacing our politics?
No, there's nothing to anything anymore.
We hate this lady.
We cast her out.
Eh, we can bring her back.
She might be useful to us.
No muss, no fuss.
But yeah, so there's also obviously like some unindicted co-conspirators in this.
Um, we got people like, uh, John Eastman and Boris Epstein and Jenna Ellis and Christina Bob.
People might know Christina Bob for being a once, well, she's a Trump attorney, but also.
She worked for one American News Network during the time of the Maricopa audit where she basically got full access to the audit but was also quote-unquote reporting on the audit while also fundraising off of the audit and basically doing just this constant stream of like donate to me for this shit that I'm running That's taking money for the audit alongside Chanel Rion, who was another One American News Network broadcaster.
So she and then she also she was just like very heavily in on the whole stolen election shit.
And she is a graduate of Arizona State University.
Go Sun Devils!
I love that you're like, this person is the worst person on God's great earth, but she graduated from one of our schools.
Go school!
State pride, baby!
I don't actually have any skin in the college game, but... Anyways, fake electors.
They are fucked in Arizona, and that is good news.
And then, well, Christina, Bob...
Also, fucked, one more bit of news before we get out of here.
During the audit alongside Christina Bob, there was another shit, fuck, lying asshole of a human being named Jordan.
Tell us how you really feel.
I'm sorry.
His name was Jordan.
His name is Jordan Conradson.
He was the gateway pundit propagandist during the Maricopa audit.
It was basically OAN and Gateway Pundit just constantly, these balloons, just constantly pumping out news, just constantly pumping out fake news related to the audit.
And he was also one of the people that, and like Gateway Pundit was also one of the outlets and he was one of the so-called reporters who defamed um shea moss and ruby freeman the election workers
out of georgia um there's some court filings that show that the gateway pundit had some they
they had they feared that that maybe jordan conradson uh wasn't exactly credible and they had
some issues that he might be doing plagiarism and just lying for their articles which is very
funny because it's like yeah isn't that kind of the whole point of your fucking outlet.
Like, did he just lie too much?
He was very, very embedded with the AZGOP.
He was playing alongside them at their softball game.
He just basically does pure propaganda for them and for the stolen election, broad conspiracy movement.
Um, but he, um, he's also a woman beater.
He was charged.
He was charged a couple years ago for assaulting his, uh, girlfriend.
Um, I, well, they dropped the charges because she dropped the charge, but he got, yeah.
So just for legal purposes, that's what happened.
But, so he's a piece of shit.
I love how these guys are always pieces of shit.
Like, 100%.
Like, it's just they're doing one awful thing.
I just wanted to be clear that this man is a piece of shit.
He's unfortunately kind of like the Arizona Gateway Pundit guy.
Like, he just lives here.
His dad lives here.
He's got a lot of presents here.
Yeah, so that, oh, and also he's the one, when Carrie Lake kind of spreads her nonsense, he's the one that kind of feeds it to the public, like through Gateway Pundit.
I've seen her literally snap at this guy, like, Jordan, Jordan, come here, like at events, because he's just kind of their dog.
He's their little bitch.
So anyway, that's Arizona.
He's making carpets for her.
I just love that Hayley just has very little tonal inflection change when she's just like, yeah, this guy, he denies the Holocaust, man.
It's just so matter-of-fact about this person, worst person on God's green earth.
Actually just, you know, runs over kittens with lawnmowers.
Anyhow, this is how he's connected to Cary Lake.
It's just like, Jesus!
Oh my God!
It must be something about being in Arizona just makes you dead inside.
You just don't have anything more left in you.
Your soul just leaves.
I mean, it all felt kind of natural to me because I live in Illinois, which, you know, is somewhat known for its corruption.
So you get used to hearing reporters reading off a laundry list of horrible things this guy's done, like they're talking about, you know, oh, it's going to be sunny tomorrow.
It's going to be sunny tomorrow.
And by the way, the FBI is taking a backhoe to this guy's backyard.
Probably 30 or more bodies in there.
So anyways, let's go to the Blackhawks' court with Bob.
So we've unsealed some indictments from Governor Ryan.
We discovered some more bad phone calls that Blagojevich made.
And so, Mark G. and Greco, how are the Bulls doing?
How's Caleb Williamson acclimating to Chicago?
Let's do this!
Oh, I won't say anything awful.
There's a cutie.
There's a cute little kid.
Yep.
Oh yeah, no, I just... The other thing I love is that Hayley cannot resist the prompts that her webcam interface gives her.
So no matter what is happening, no matter how deep she is into a story, if fireworks or hearts or balloons float across her screen, she is just going to react to them like the dog in Up.
Just, squirrel!
I'm just gonna do a hard pivot to that event, whatever it is.
This is awesome, too, from my point of view as someone who listens to the show a lot.
Now I'm actually seeing all the stuff that you and Elle are usually laughing about.
all this stuff that you and I were usually laughing at.
That's awesome.
So, anyhow, it's time to go.
Do we have a family member on the show, folks?
Yes, we do.
Yes.
And we're going to the news segment.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News.
Boom.
So headline numero uno is Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
has decided to get weirder.
It's wild that this man could be more weird than he already is, but he's doing it.
He's dialed up the weird.
So he has recently decided to make a blockbuster announcement, which is that he knows in his heart of hearts that the voter pool that he could draw from is the voter pool that contains the voters of old Joe Biden.
Our esteemed president.
And RF Kennedy, RFK Jr.
doesn't want to take Joe's voters.
He doesn't want to be a spoiler.
He doesn't want to be a bad guy.
So he's asked Joe to accept that they're going to fund a poll to see who does better head to head against Trump.
And whoever does better should stay in the race and whoever doesn't should just drop out.
And, um, don't think old Joe's going to take RFK Jr.
up on that idea.
Don't think he much cares what RFK Jr.' 's saying or doing, although it would be incredible if somehow RFK Jr.
was polling good enough that he could make the debates, because that would be the ultimate clown shit.
But beyond that...
My favorite part about this is the whole, like, fiction that RFK Jr.
is drawing votes away from Biden.
The idea that RFK Jr.' 's QAnon base of anti-vax lunatics, they were looking at Biden and then they're like, you know, RFK Jr.'
's actually the man for me.
That's the play I'm going to make.
When, in reality, we all know who he's drawing from.
And who he's drawing from is Donald Trump, the God Emperor, our orange daddy.
And our orange daddy knows this as well, because he has released a series of truths attacking RFK Jr.
as a far-left, lunatic liberal who is bad and is awful, and we should not like him or trust him or vote for him.
He explains badly so he'll never be able to debate him.
That was why he brought up like today, I think.
But my favorite statement in all of these truths attacking RFK Jr.
was the statement in one of those posts that said, his stance on the vaccine is fake.
Which, buddy, you're giving away the game here.
You're giving away the game when you say that.
When you're like, RFK Jr.
doesn't hate vaccines.
Don't listen to him.
You're just, you're telling us what you're worried about.
You're telling us that you're terrified that your base that thinks that the vaccine is the COVID death jab.
They're going to look at you, the father of Operation Warp Speed, and they're going to look at him, a lunatic anti-vaxxer who's been steadfast on this crank bullshit for decades, and some of them are going to go for him!
And that's bad for you!
So yeah, this is awesome.
Couldn't have been a nicer guy.
I don't know what RFK Jr.
is trying to do, although he just got ballot access in Michigan, I saw, which, good.
By all means, let's shave some votes away from Donald Trump there.
That would be just lovely.
So, yeah, RFK Jr.
doing God's work, and hopefully next week, we here at Hellworld might be trying to help RFK Jr.
along.
That's what we call the business is a tease.
So we'll see how things germinate for next week.
So anyhow, on to the big headline, which is Kristi Noem shot a puppy in Reno just to see it die!
And this is just hilarious.
This is the News of the Week.
I kind of was a little busy this past week and somehow this still was the News of the Week.
I got this so many memes, commentary, articles.
There was local news channels talking about it for some reason.
I'm like, why?
This is local news. Like. Oh God.
My favorite meme from that genre was, the title was, Christine Neom's husband when she asks him to do her doggy style.
It's a picture of a small child crying while holding a gun.
Explain this fully.
She wrote a book or something?
Yeah, I was going to say we should probably get some background for the two or three people in America who haven't heard about this yet.
Yes.
So Christine Young released a book.
The title of the book was Donald Trump, Please Pick Me for Vice President.
So, and in the book, it contained a story about how she had a dog named Cricket, who
was being a bit unruly.
So she took Cricket to a gravel pit and murdered Cricket, because that's what you do with a dog that's a little yippy and a little bitey.
You blow him away.
And she was less than worthless as a hunting dog.
That's key.
She made sure to specify that.
Yeah.
She was like, this dog sucks!
He's not useful!
What am I going to do?
Have my kids play fetch with him?
And have him run around and love our family?
Fuck that!
Time to go, cricket.
So, yeah, this... Lord knows why she did this.
The political instincts of a goldfish.
Just an absolute clown show decision.
I feel like someone whispered in her ear that, If you say this, it'll make you relatable among rural people because they shoot their dogs constantly.
A very famous dog murderer, Cat Turd, was very mad at Christine Neome about this.
He was like, damn you, Christine Neome!
I killed my dogs on accident!
You did it on purpose!
That's terrible!
You've lost my vote!
Even though I don't live in South Dakota, you still lost it!
I just love it.
Now this is also a bigger, the bigger picture beyond all of this, besides like everyone's having a great time laughing at her and this horrible unforced error that she committed.
Like this isn't the kind of thing you bury and hope the opposition research doesn't find out about you.
And you just announce it to everybody.
You're just like, oh yeah, by the way, I murdered a dog in cold blood a few years ago.
Just like, what?
What are you doing?
I mean, oh man.
So.
While this was going on, we also had Doug Burgum, who is one of the other people on the Trump vice presidential list, get in front of a podium and say, hey, if you're a billionaire like me, Trump's tax plan is great!
It's awesome!
And it's like, Doug, Doug, buddy, buddy.
Again, men are the people.
The people are not billionaires.
Don't say the quiet part out loud.
And then other resident potential Trump vice presidential pick J.D.
Vance got on CNN and was just like, These people that are destroying property on these college campuses, they need to have the book thrown at them!
And the CNN anchor is literally rubbing her hands together and looking at him with a, like, just an absolutely, just like, diabolical gleam in her eye.
And she was just like, uh, Senator Vance, I just want to have you restate that for me, that, uh, you think, uh, people, like, Breaking stuff and committing vandalism and doing these bad things should be punished as a crime?
And J.D.
Vance, doe-eyed knave, cannot see the blinking red lights in front of him and think, warning, warning, trap!
You are walking into a fucking trap, you moron!
Was like, that's right CNN anchor, those people should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
And then she's like, and what about the January 6th people who did the exact same shit, whose asses you're kissing all the time?
And J.D.
Vance was like, what?
Again, the political instincts of a goldfish.
Like, you could literally see her walking into the most obvious trap in the history of the universe, and J.D.
Vance is just like, I know that looks like it's just the tunnel being painted on the side of the cliff, but the Roadrunner ran through it, so I'm gonna try to smash the bank.
I mean, it's just unbelievable.
It is, like, these people...
Go ahead.
I was going to say, was that the same interview where he, um, where he was talking about, uh, where the, the interviewer asked him, you know, if he has any reservations about being vice president for Trump in a second term.
And he's like, no.
And he's like, even after the whole hang Mike Pence thing, he's like, oh, that was just, that was just boys being boys.
That wasn't nothing.
Yeah.
Are you scared of being Trump's vice president because he tried to kill the previous vice president he had?
Nope.
Not scared at all.
No problems.
Totally.
Totally slavishly devoted to power.
Will do anything to obtain power.
Selling my soul.
Just absolutely, oh my God, just the absolute worst.
Now, the thing about this that just makes me laugh so much is that, like, honestly, never in the history of America or the world has there been a worse political job than the Vice President under Donald Trump right now.
I'm going to walk you through all three possibilities that could happen.
They're all terrible.
And I'm starting with the least bad.
Which, when you hear how bad the least bad is, you'll get a hint as to how bad the rest of this is.
So, option number one.
Trump picks you for Vice President.
You lose.
The Trump-you ticket loses to Biden-Harris.
Now Trump's going to face all of his trials.
He is going to be spending the next X number of years in courtrooms.
May spend some of those years at house arrest or in a club fed.
And you are going to be the final person that he put his stink on at the end of his political career.
You're going to be the person that kissed his ass right before he went down in flames, lost his second election in a row, and then he went to jail.
And you're the person everyone's like, oh, look, there's the suck up.
There's the kiss ass that tried to get the vice presidency from that corrupt scumbag Trump.
You're the one that hits your wagon to that loser.
But wait, my good sirs or ma'ams who want to be Trump's vice president.
It gets worse.
Option number two.
Trump wins.
Trump serves out three and a half years, about three years of his term, in reasonable health for him, reasonable lack of senility.
Looks like he's gonna make it through year four without needing to be 25th Amendment-ed or rushed to the hospital for some sort of crisis.
It's at this point that people are gonna be like, hey, Donnie, you leave an office when we get to January 20th, 2029?
And Trump's going to be sort of like, yeah, we'll see.
I'm not sure if I want to leave office.
You know how it is.
And people are going to be like, but Mr. President, you've served two terms.
You cannot not leave office.
You have to leave office.
And he's going to be like, yeah, we'll see.
I'm going to think about it.
And then everyone's going to run to you, the vice president, the heir apparent, the person who's supposed to be the front runner in the Republican primary field.
And they're going to be like, yo, Mr. or Mrs. Vice President, Are you going to be a bitch?
Are you going to accept Trump's coup when you're the person that's supposed to be taking up the reins?
You're supposed to be the new leader of the Republican Party?
And what do you do in that spot?
Because Trump is going to absolutely crush you if you say, yes, I do want to be the Republican front runner in 2028.
I am running for president, and Trump has served his two years gloriously.
He's done a great service to this nation.
It's time for us to move on to the next generation of Republicans, which is me, the vice president, who's not going to run for president!
And yeah, let's see how that goes, where now you're literally going to be brawling with Trump in the Oval Office, as he's like, what are you doing turning your back on me?
I'm president for life!
What the fuck?
So, like, that is gonna be awesome.
But wait, it gets even worse.
Because option three, Trump dies or gets 25th Amendment-ed in office.
Guess what?
You are now the most hated politician in the history of the world!
Because all the Democrats hate you, because you're the guy or gal who kissed Trump's ass to become vice president.
We fucking hate you for that shit.
And you're gonna be carrying out Trump's terrible policies, which are bad.
And now, I don't know, half to 75% of the Republican base is going to believe that you assassinated Trump to gain power.
They're going to think that you're a deep state operative who usurped the president and stole the presidency from him, who literally took the God Emperor's soul and then took his throne.
You are going to be the first president to have a negative approval rating.
I don't mean as in like 55% negative, 45% positive.
I mean below zero.
You're going to have an approval rating of negative three.
Like 103% of America will hate you.
And that will be your existence for whatever amount of time you serve as president after Trump either sheds this mortal coil or is put in assisted living because he actually no longer knows how words work.
And it's so noticeable that even QAnon has to accept it.
So congratulations to Trump's vice presidential pick.
Those are the three fates waiting before you and they are all terrible.
You are royally fucked if you get that job.
Oh, yes, Haley.
I'm issuing a on air correction of what I was saying earlier for the listeners before we move on.
I called them unindicted co-conspirators, but Boris Epstein, Jenna Ellis, John Eastman, and Michael Roman are all indicted.
They were just unnamed.
The unindicted co-conspirators are not known yet, but they are assumed to be possibly Kelly Townsend, who was a state senator at the time.
Mark Fincham, who, hey Mike, you're aware of, right?
Honey Badger, don't give a fuck.
I know well of him.
Honey Badger, don't give a fuck.
Trump.
You know that guy?
Who?
Have you heard of Trump?
It says, it says, unindicted co-conspirator number one, a former president of the United States who spread false claims of election fraud during the 2020 election.
Who is that?
McKinley?
Oh, maybe.
I love that you went McKinley.
That is awesome.
Not enough McKinley fans out there.
Kenneth Cheese Bro.
Cheese Bro.
My favorite.
Yeah, the Cheesy Bro.
I love our Cheesy Bro.
And then Jack Willenschick, who was a AZGOP attorney.
So that's the correction, and that's the full news in Arizona.
Sorry listeners, I just got blocked.
You reminded me of something that I was thinking of while you were doing your Arizona thing before was with Boris Epstein.
Is that how you say it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But so I love how he got indicted and then went running straight to daddy because he's been showing up at the trial in New York ever since then.
Oh yeah.
That's so funny.
Yeah.
Help me.
Help me.
All right.
Well, I'm done with aeronautic zoners, finally.
There's still a lot going on, but I personally will not keep the listeners drowning in air.
I do love the real-time correction, though.
That was nice.
Well, it sounded good.
We're in this new mailbag!
Facts and mailbags.
Both of these things.
Our listeners got questions.
We got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
Two people, Old McWatkins and Stephanie, ask, with the announcement of eight indictments against Michael Flynn, what is Jace Du and his crew going to do about it?
Breaking news on the pod!
I saw this, but it's weird because the only information that we have, apparently, is that Michael Flynn himself said that he got these subpoenas.
Yeah, I've been in his work pod, or whatever the hell he calls it.
Right.
Yeah, Bannon's War Room.
Apparently Michael Flynn was on it.
I got subpoenaed a bunch last night!
And it's like, uh, okay.
Who?
For why?
What?
So, I mean, it's so nebulous, and I don't want to give these people any credit.
Because they're scum.
So it's like...
I'm not going to trust Michael Flynn's been subpoenaed for anything.
I don't know or care.
And the other thing is that if he's being subpoenaed, is he the defendant or is he being called to testify about something?
And if it's a criminal proceeding that has anything to do with him, then he has rights.
So if he really didn't like the fact that he was being forced to do it, he could just plead the fifth to every question.
I mean, that's what Alex Jones did the January 6th.
Like, he literally, you can just do the Chappelle skit to them.
I mean, it's just, that's, like, ah.
So, to me, this is much ado about nothing until we actually get more clarity about what's going on.
Maybe, maybe Jay Stew will steal some more balloons.
Oh!
Yeah, yeah.
For listeners who don't know, we didn't cover it because we did a bunch of DeStu stuff for a couple weeks in a row and it's like, I'm just not going to give him that much more attention.
He's a dumb weirdo who is just aggravating.
And I just wish that one of these people that claims they're always going to sue me or sue a group of people would actually just like nut up and do it because Boy, would they find out the discovery would be really powerfully unimpressive for them.
Because I've never had any contact with Michael Flynn in any situation whatsoever.
I have no engagement with him.
Yeah, like literally, like the only time I've ever talked of anything about anything with Michael Flynn was I was talking to somebody, I forget who, and I was just like, I just did a Google search.
So like expert witnesses get like 50 bucks an hour or some shit.
If Michael Flynn wants to call me as an expert witness and say he's not Q, I'll take Michael Flynn's like pile of cash.
That'd be great.
But again, that was me shooting the breeze with a person I know on text messages.
I'll gladly give that to Jim in Discovery.
Boom.
There you go, Jim!
I wanted money from Michael Flynn to say that you're wrong, but it was never.
It was never...
It was...
Yeah, so, yeah.
That was that. But, uh, yeah.
Um...
I...
We'll see.
We'll wait until further developments.
Which, given the way this podcast has been getting incredible bad luck, means the moment we stop recording on this is big breaking news!
Michael Flynn indicted on 79 counts, felony tax evasion, and also child sex trafficking.
What?
No!
What are you talking about?
Michael Flynn being, he's being frog walked in front of the press and he's screaming, I was Q!
I set the whole thing up!
I totally did it!
I'm just like, yep, yep.
That's the way this works.
Yep.
Yep.
God damn it.
God damn it.
Yeah.
I had the same thought as you when I first heard about this was like, I'm like eight indictments in one night.
That seems kind of implausible.
Yeah.
I mean, like, if they're all for the same case, why would it just be one, you know, subpoena?
Right.
Well, yeah, what you just said there, it could be that he got subpoenaed for, like, eight different, like, files, eight different, like, records.
Like, he might have been subpoenaed to testify and then, like, supply, like, seven different series of documents for the case.
I mean, who knows?
But yeah, the idea that, like, eight different lawsuits, like, all hit him with subpoenas at once would be, like, really kind of weird.
Like, he's just sitting at home, hanging out with his family.
Ring, ring!
He gets to the door, they're like, subpoena!
He's like, what?
Oh, goddammit!
Like, 20 minutes later, it happens again, and then it just won't stop happening the rest of the night.
He's just processing every point up and down his driveway.
Exactly!
After 10 subpoenas, you get the 11th one free.
He's like, I'm only answering this door because every time I do it, I think it's DoorDash.
I think when Chipotle's coming and I get another Zafina!
This is ridiculous!
Oh my god!
Yeah, he should have done like Ken Paxton and, you know, had his wife run to the car and he jumps in and takes it off.
Yeah.
So I think we covered that.
Old McWalkins then asked his own question, which is, what are your top five favorite albums from the 90s?
Not what you listened to the most back then, but what you currently think holds up the most now.
I wonder where Mike's going to go with this one.
Oh, you have three guesses and the first two don't count.
So I mean, I'm, I'm an open book.
This is, this is the dumbest question for me.
So I mean, oh my God.
No effects.
No effects.
That's a good one.
System of a Down, self-titled, came out in the nineties.
Elliott Smith, I'm sure had some shit in the nineties.
Jawbreaker.
There's some good shit in the nineties there.
Like, dear you.
I like Mazzy Starr.
Yeah, she did that big one in the 90s.
What was it?
So It's a Night That I Might See or whatever it's fucking called.
Good one.
I like it.
That's my picks.
Did I do it right?
I never answer the questions.
Well, were they all albums from the 90s that you still hold up?
I think they all hold up and I listen to them.
There you go.
I mean, do you want my input on this?
Yeah, I don't want any input.
Somebody input.
You are on the show.
That's why you're on the panel.
Your opinion matters.
Therefore, you are committed by fate to answer these questions.
We're all equal here.
Your opinion matters.
Yeah, the 90s when I was in high school, so there was a lot, you know, I was listening to then.
Well, one album that I still listen to a lot, I would say, was Foo Fighters' Color in the Shape.
That was 97, I believe.
I actually saw them live when they were touring for that one.
Weezer Pinkerton, that was their second album.
That one had a lot of personal meaning for me, so much so that I couldn't listen to it for a while because it just hit me with the feels so much.
Let's see.
I mean, Nirvana.
Nirvana was my life when I was in high school.
I was a freshman when he took his own life, so that was a big part of my teenage years.
So I'll say Incesticide was probably the one that stuck with me the most.
I'm not even sure if that counts as a studio album.
It's like an EP, I guess.
All albums are albums.
It came out in between their two big ones, Nevermind and In Utero, and a lot of it was old stuff that they were releasing for the first time.
Anyone who's into Nirvana knows the album I'm talking about, I'm sure.
Let's see, what else?
I was gonna say Metallica, but it's their 80s stuff that I like the most, so that kind of...
But after a load it just was right down the crapper in my opinion.
Was the Black Album 90s?
I think it came out in 1990, but like for a lot of people that's where quote-unquote new Metallica began was the Black Album.
It was like up until and just as far as what's considered classic core Metallica.
Sorry, I'm a metalhead, so... Oh, no.
Oh, God, no.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, like, because I got Haley for the punk stuff.
I mean, Elzen's some deep cut stuff.
I'm the radio dork.
I'm the filthy casual.
I mean, like, I'm fully acknowledged.
I just thought of a fifth one, because I was actually listening to it when I joined you guys.
Would be Prodigy's Phantom of the Land, because for some reason I had Smack My Bitch Up stuck in my head all day.
Hey, that was another great album from that time.
You literally unlocked that from my brain when you brought that up.
You were like, Prodigy, and I was like, oh right!
Prodigy!
I mean, I remember Al Snow in ECW waving the head around as the crowd would chant, head, head, head, head.
It's a Firestarter.
I believe that was, I believe Firestarter was the song you used.
Yeah.
But I mean, it's, yeah.
Same album.
So yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that.
I mean, like, the thing is, is that, God, back then, So basically I had Nirvana, I was listening to Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve.
That album was fine.
There was Lucky Man was on it.
I don't like Bittersweet Symphony as much.
It just strikes me as way more cynical and shitty now than it did when I first heard it.
I think you don't hear a lot of play on it lately either because The Stones actually, I believe, sued him over that song.
Because he said he wanted to use a small sample for it, and then he ended up using the whole thing.
And they were like, no, this was not what we agreed to.
That was not part of the deal.
I have altered the deal.
Pray I do not alter it further.
So yeah, but I mean, yeah.
Bam!
Hour 20 minutes in, time for some Star Wars references!
I never thought I'd hear Bittersweet Symphony elicit a Darth Vader quote.
Yeah, but such is the rich tapestry of life.
So, but I mean, but I mean it's just like I was listening to all that kind of stuff and then whamboozle, one-two, punch, garbage, and that was just like...
And that was just where... It's funny.
It's really funny.
The one thing I will say about that, more than anything, is that it really sort of changed my listening experience when it came to vocalists.
I became much more female vocalist heavy after I started listening to Garbage.
It's like, if you're a dude, God, you really got to bring it.
You got to do something for me.
If you're a guy, because...
If not, my ladies, my ladies are going to sing to me.
And that's, that's where I'm at.
So it's like, uh, like, uh, at my work, uh, someone in charge of the playlist is a fan of Dua Lipa.
And I'm just like, thank God.
Cause like before we had like the Bruno Mars hour, the Billy Joel hour.
Now I actually get like some like remotely like recent current songs.
It's like, oh man, so refreshing.
But yeah, I mean, Garbage Self-Titled and Garbage Version 2.0 are absolute bangers.
Every song on both albums is just incredible.
I actually had someone in one of my threads, they said to me, they said, they're like, Poker, don't take this wrong, but I've never listened to a garbage song in my life.
And I was just like, well, here's a few, but I'm just, but honestly, like if you just play one of the first or second album, just, just, just sit back, relax, and just fire it through.
And if you do that, a small child will yell in frustration and just let you know that no, no, that is unacceptable.
The dulcet tones of Shirley Manson are for me.
I'm in confusion.
Ah, that's also Tones of Shirley Manson R for me.
So yeah, but it's, but yeah.
Also Offspring back then I enjoyed myself some Offspring.
Offspring, yeah.
Smash, Rage Against the Machine, all that stuff.
I was a 90s kid who listened to the radio.
I was really cool, so I can do those things, but yeah.
That is that for the music.
And a final question in the mailbag from Pancake Peasant is, how does QAnon feel about the potential for China to invade Taiwan?
Does it even matter or will they just blindly do whatever Trump tweets?
When the Ukraine war first started, QAnon was so gung-ho for China to invade Taiwan.
They, oh man, they were so bloodthirsty because they thought that Russia was just going to roll Ukraine and then China could roll Taiwan.
And then, like, big manly Putin and Xi were going to show Cook Biden who the bosses of the world were.
And then Russia got their asses paddled in Ukraine, and China's just been, like, tempering their saber-rattling about Taiwan.
And QAnon even came up with conspiracy theories about why China would be justified in invading and conquering Taiwan.
Because, like, the Ukrainian biolab conspiracy theory that they came up with for Ukraine, they were doing the same thing for Taiwan.
They were like, there are biolabs in Taiwan!
China is totally justified in conquering Taiwan for those biolabs.
I'm sure some Q-Nut out there thought that Wuhan is in Taiwan.
I don't doubt that.
I truly do not doubt that.
That would be truly the greatest of things if they believed that.
Oh my god.
I mean, that is a really interesting question, too, just because of the weird price that China holds in QAnon circles, because it's like, Red China bad, but Xi, the leader of Red China good.
Oh, yeah, this is their mindset where they're like, Xi is fighting the Chinese deep state.
And it's like, that's not how China works.
You can only obtain power by being deep state in China.
You cannot run as the opposition to the Chinese power structure and tip the apple cart and take it over.
Like, that doesn't work.
It can't happen.
So yeah.
And, and they don't know how to feel about China.
Like China has, China's a good guy or a bad guy given the week in question.
Cause China unleashed COVID on us to make Trump lose the election.
But also Trump is working with Xi and Putin to defeat the deep state.
So China's good, I guess.
Yeah.
And then there's all the boomers who remember China for being communist.
So that throws another monkey wrench in there.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
It's all over the place.
We're all having technical difficulties.
playing somewhere? I hear an audio.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Okay, Eric's having technical annihilations.
We're all having technical difficulties.
That is the nature of the pod.
Yes, yes.
It is a kerfluffle and a kerfoozle.
But we made it through an hour and 26 minutes before the calamities started calamitizing even stronger than normal.
So anyways, that brings us back to our question we always ask into the pod is, what are you guys looking forward to?
Sleeping.
Sounds great.
Eric, what are you looking forward to?
I don't know exactly yet, but my son wants to have some kind of adventure on Saturday, so we're kind of brainstorming ideas.
So I don't know what it's going to be, but I'm looking forward to whatever it is.
That sounds good. I am.
Uh...
My Boston Celtics, the basketball team of my local region, have moved on to the second round, much unlike Haley's Phoenix Suns, who have crashed and burned and choked.
Oh, yeah.
I was watching some of that while downtown.
That was funny.
People were very sad.
Wow.
When you started that, when you were like, yeah, I was watching that, I was waiting for you to be like, I don't care about sports at all.
The fact that you actually got a taste of the sadness was like wild.
There's also like baseball going on, correct?
Yeah.
Yeah, regular season baseball that doesn't mean anything for the next four months is ongoing.
Oh, OK.
There are some guys in my elevator that were like having a really deep conversation about baseball, even though they didn't know each other.
Oh, yeah.
Nerds love baseball because there's so many statistics and there's so many ways to break it down into numbers.
So they just go crazy on stats and stuff.
Oh, it's yeah.
Baseball is hell that way.
But coughing without pausing.
Excellent job, me.
That's the kind of professional I have to get around here.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Oh my god.
Oh, a tight ship run here on Hellworld.
Yeah, it's funny because I know, like Mike, I know you like sports in general, and I don't, but I'm from Chicago, and as you may know, sports are humongous in Chicago.
It's impossible to avoid them.
So, like, people will be like, hi, I'm Eric, and they're like, hi, Cubs or Sox?
I'm like, uh, I don't watch baseball.
Okay.
Cubs or Sox?
Well, I'm, you know, I mean, I, I don't know.
Cubs or Sox?
Like there's no, it's one of those binary questions.
There's no answer aside from Cubs or Sox.
Oh, I mean, like now they're both terrible, so it doesn't even matter.
I mean, yeah.
Oh yeah.
And I noticed that's one thing.
Baseball fans seem to love talking about how much their team sucks more than they love talking about how much they're great.
My favorite thing about the Obama presidency, actually not, but my favorite thing that he did as a little thing was that Obama maintained his hardcore White Sox fandom while he was president.
He didn't do that president shit where he's like, I hope they all just have fun out there.
And some Chicago team won something or did good and Obama brought them to the White House.
And then he was just sort of like, now this is not, this is like, all other Chicago teams can up their games.
And he like went through all of them.
And then at the very end, he did a long pause before like quietly muttering Cubs.
He just wanted to let you know that like, he's a Sox guy and the Cubs, no bueno.
And if they happen to win the World Series, Because Obama knows he's mega popular here in Chicago, still is.
People love him.
But he's from Hyde Park on the South Side, so if he does not pay homage to the Sox, then he will be run out of town with pitchforks and torches.
Right.
Oh yeah, yeah.
You gotta know your constituency, yes.
But, yeah, well, I mean, now is as good a time as any for you to get into the Chicago Bears, because you just drafted maybe the first good quarterback in the history of the Bears franchise.
You made a lot of good moves this offseason, and the Bears were trending upwards at the end of last season.
So this could be a good year.
This could be a good year to get on the Bear bandwagon.
Yeah, I mean, like, as far as bears go.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hold on.
Never mind.
Yeah.
Oh, no problem.
He needs... He needs... He needs to talk.
Oh, no problem.
He needs...
He needs...
Yes.
He needs to talk.
Yes.
Yeah.
Hey.
Hey.
He wants the pod.
He's a podcaster.
I know where on the scale of things where I rate, where the podcast rates between your child and the pod.
The pod is a distant tenth.
Get a mic on that kid.
You know, shameless plug for my YouTube channel.
One thing that got me a whole lot of followers was I was going to Spirit Halloween's in the area.
I got the idea from this guy in my son watches who went to every single one in the country.
But yeah, but like my son would be running around and he'd be like pointing out all this stuff to me and like and You know, I'm just doing commentary with my camera.
And I even said at one point, I go, I go, I'm just a cameraman.
Everyone's watching this from my, you know, I see my six-year-old running around having a good time.
So this allows me to hit you with the trivia question.
Why are they called the Chicago Bears?
I've never actually been asked that before.
Although it's killing me, because I swear I did see something about it, but I don't remember what.
Like, usually people ask me, why is it called the Windy City?
And that I can wax on for a bit about, but no, I don't know anything about the origin of the name of the bears.
It is because when the bears were founded, I believe it was George Halas, the Papa Bear Halas.
Papa Bear Halas, yeah.
He said that, well, if Cubs play baseball, then Bears play football.
So they riffed off the Chicago Cubs name.
There was the Cubs and the Bears, yeah.
But what I was going to say before was, because you were talking about trying to pill me into the football.
In my opinion, there was only one year that football was played, and that was 1985.
Oh, oh, the greatest year where your Bears skull-fucked my Patriots and won the Super Bowl 500 to nothing.
Yes, I still listen to the Super Bowl Shuffle to this day, and anyone who is a football fan or a Chicagoan will know what I'm talking about.
Yep.
Oh, oh God, wow.
You've unlocked another thing in my brain.
So, do you know what Super Bowl prop bets are?
Okay.
And Hayley just like walked off set.
She's like, she's done with this.
So, uh, it's good.
Two things.
So go ahead.
No.
So, uh, the Superbowl has all kinds of dumb bets.
Like what color Gatorade will the coach be drenched with after they win?
And like, just, you can bet literally everything about everything on the Superbowl.
You can bet the coin toss heads or tails, but the Superbowl's first ever prop bet was Will Refrigerator Perry score a touchdown?
That was the first ever prop bet in the Super Bowl.
It opened at 99-1.
It closed at like 30-1.
He scored a touchdown.
Everyone cashed in big bucks.
And the Super Bowl prop bet was born.
That's cool too because Refrigerator Perry is my personal hero on the 85 Bears.
As a young boy.
Hey, he stole Sweetness' touchdown.
He stole Walter Payton's touchdown.
Like that was like...
And so when they were scrambling to find a replacement to run against Obama after Jack Ryan dropped out,
Ditka came up as a possibility.
They were going to run Ditka against Obama in the Senate campaign.
It would have been great because I would have wanted Obama to run ads being like, Mike Ditka didn't give sweetness his touchdown.
We can't, we can't trust Mike Ditka.
Just boom.
Just like, bam.
How you like them apples?
Old school Chicago pair.
This is a deep cut.
Six people on the pod understand what I'm talking about.
But yeah, so the Celtics won their first round series.
They're on the round two.
The Bruins managed to screw up game five, so they have a chance to close out the series tonight in game six against the Maple Leafs.
This is not great because the last two times they played the Maple Leafs, they were up 3-1.
And then they blew the next two games to make it 3-3 before winning Game 7.
So they love giving us a heart attack.
They never make it easy on us.
But literally, Game 7, the puck drop's about to happen.
It's going to happen in 10 minutes in real time when I'm listening to this.
You've heard this.
You already know if the Leafs or the Bruins won.
So you are either laughing at my pain or saying, ah, don't worry, poker.
You're going to lose to the Panthers next round anyways.
You don't have to sweat it.
So, yeah.
So, with all that said, we are going to, I don't know, drive our car to a gravel pit somewhere outside of Hellworld, where we are going to take a beloved family pet and brutally execute it, because that's what you do when you want to be the Vice President of the United States of America.
If you are listening to the show and you want to help us out, give us a 5-star review, write a review, do something, anything!
Be our street team!
Help us out!
If you want to give us money, go to patreon.com slash PokerPolitics and give us money.
That would be wonderful and lovely.
For $5 or more, you can unlock bonus content that is wonderful and awesome and good.
Shout out to DJ Minimal Effort, who made our original song that I then accidentally remixed into the thing you now listen to.
Shout out to Frosty, who did the Q-drops and does all of our bumps.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, give your money to love146.org.
They are an organization that seeks to end human trafficking, and they actually do good work, unlike QAnon, who just talks about human trafficking.
And then Liz Crokan posts two different photos of Britney Spears and says, is this a clone?
Because that's what you do when you care about human trafficking, you stupid weirdo, Liz Crokan.
So, for Haley, aka Arizona Wreck Watch, and for Eric, aka Eric the Deep State Operative, this is Mike Rains signing off.
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