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Oct. 26, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:29:32
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #162: Everyone Flips on Trump.

This week we talk about the continuing drama over Michael Flynn in QAnon. Also Trump's melting brain is on full display and his legal troubles just get more troubling by the day. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Thanks for watching. You can subscribe to my channel for more videos.
I hope you enjoy this video.
Content warning.
Content Warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Watch.
Um, hello, everybody.
Go snakes.
Am I right?
Yeah, sports.
She did it.
She's totally a sports person.
I watched a game.
A game.
Yes.
And the mysterious hell.
Hello, my beauty ghoul babies.
Happy Halloween.
Since I believe this is the last recording we're going to do before Halloween shows up.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Are you doing anything for Halloween?
Uh, no, not really.
I don't think so.
Well, I'm going to... I'm going to Halloween Bar Trivia.
I think that may be the second or third time I've ever done Bar Trivia in my life with some friends on the 30th, which will be nice.
But for the night itself, no.
Because I'm too fat for costumes.
What?
You could do so many things.
A lot of fat people costumes are shirtless.
And I'm not about that life in the cold.
Like, you know, there's a chance to make it like snow in the first week of November or whatever.
I'm not trying to be about that.
Yeah.
Also, don't get me wrong.
I know there are costumes for fat people.
They just tend to take money and time and resources that I don't want to a lot.
Again, time and resources.
I could be playing Civilization Revolution.
I could be playing Baldur's Gate 3.
I could be napping.
That's true.
That's true.
You could be napping.
That's good shit.
Are you guys doing anything for All Hallows Eve?
I am working and my work is offering us the ability to wear a costume instead of your uniform.
So I am going to do something so I don't have to wear my uniform.
That is basically my goal for Halloween.
Show your sports jersey.
You're a sports guy.
That's your costume.
I'm cosplaying as Tom.
My costume is Tom Brady.
Tom Brady is a buccaneer.
I did it.
I nailed it.
I have the greatest costume.
Yeah, only because it's too short notice for you to pull together an Epstein costume.
That would make you really popular.
Oh yeah, that'd be really great.
Put a helmet on.
Yeah, that'd be great.
We'd go out and buy a helmet, jersey, football pants, that'd be awesome.
Just great.
But yeah, I don't know if I have to go to Spirit Halloween and just grab the most generic thing off the rack, I don't care, but basically it was just like, If you want to wear a costume, it's a casino so you can't wear a mask because they want to see your face at all times.
Even if it's you, you're an employee, they still don't want you wearing a mask.
But just generic costume seems like a really good idea as compared to wearing the ridiculous uniform that I'm forced to wear when I'm at work.
You've got a pretty gnarly beard going now.
You could be a Jesus.
You could be a Jesus.
It's such an easy costume.
It's just like a sheet.
Yes, I could go Jesus.
Be the dude from The Big Lebowski.
You could put a robe on.
That'd be so nice.
I could be the dude.
A lot of people have said I'm Hagrid, so I don't know that I want to endorse J.K.
Rowling, but I understand Hagrid.
I mean, body shape-wise and with the beard, I hate to admit it, but you would actually make a pretty good Hagrid if you wanted to go for it.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't doubt it.
I don't doubt it.
Because I think we are doing a costume contest of some kind, where you can win money if you have a good costume.
And I feel like Hagrid ticks enough boxes for people that if I tried it, I might have a chance.
But I don't know if I want to risk it for the biscuit, because I don't know how much you win.
I don't know how much I would have to invest in Hagrid just to come up painfully short and then be like, wow, now I'm out all this money for Hagrid and I am now photographed being a character in a horrible- I'm gonna be a clown.
This is me.
You like my wig?
Oh, incredible.
Absolutely sparkling.
Again, theater of the mind.
This is brilliant podcasting where Hayley is showing us visual things and us- I didn't know you had a clown outfit.
I'm gonna need you to send me that and any other cloud-related materials you have off show for reasons.
Okay.
You like it?
Dude, I'm about that cloud life.
Yeah, me too.
I was raised in Barney.
You don't know my life.
L's on the ICP dating site looking for down ass lets.
See, those people just want to be clowns.
Civilization has evolved to the point where, dude, if I want klussy, I can go right to the source.
I can get it without the ICP.
I can just go straight to a sexy clown.
Male or female.
Just an alt girl.
There's an alt girl spectrum.
And you got Clown Girl, you got Mime Girl, you got Goth Girl, and then there's a little bit in between.
There's a little bit of bisexuality in between the spectrums.
But I'm currently on that Clown Girl shit, so... I'm in for all of that, dude.
I'm not gonna lie.
The only one on the spectrum like that that I'm... I don't like the dedicated E-Girl.
The E-Girl look just doesn't do it for me.
It's too soft.
The facial features where they try to make it look like you're an anime character.
I'm not about that.
If I want to jerk off to an anime, I can just do that.
They exist.
I could just find an anime.
This is a riveting conversation.
But yes, I am going to be a clown.
I have a big, giant cotton candy wig.
Gets lots of colors.
I'm going to do better makeup.
That was like just a, I want to put the costume on and I have to look like a clown.
So I put on some, I just literally took some lipstick and like put it on my face.
You know, like a sane person.
You just stabbed your face with a lipstick stick.
Boom.
They just did it.
You're like, am I going for clown or woman having a mental breakdown?
Either or.
One or the other.
You looked a little bit like that.
Either way, we need to stop this conversation because it's going to get me bricked up.
Uh.
It was funny.
So a couple of years ago, I think it was going into, I think it was New Year's Eve going from 2021 to 2022.
My friends and I got together.
We were hanging out at their attic.
Some stuff happened that may have expanded our consciousness.
And we were watching Malcolm in the Middle.
And it was the episode where Malcolm's teacher puts on sex, Sorry, puts on clown.
That's so funny.
And you know, it's just their do-it-your-thing.
And we determined over the course of that evening that 2022 was going to be Year of the Sexy Cloud.
And that ended up being fucking crazy prophetic, at least in terms of my algo, which was really insane.
Because I didn't actually go out looking for that stuff.
But my phone heard me talking about it.
It was just like, oh, say less.
Like, I'm just caught in my fiends.
Cozy on this man's timeline, you know?
Yeah.
Pussy.
Clown pussy.
For those of you listeners who don't know.
The worst part is that, like, what if I, you know, I am, for all intents and purposes, straight, but if I wanted to see a clown cock, what am I supposed to call that?
Clock is already a word.
This was a really appropriate conversation.
Yeah.
I mean, to be fair, it is closer to on topic than most of the other shit that we talk about during the very beginning of our show most days in that we are talking about clowns and later on we will also be talking about clowns.
True.
And it's hosted by clowns.
Yeah.
And also, just like clowns, we're not really that funny and no one understands why we're around.
True.
And we're mostly depressed.
But I like how, like, the clown... Before we segue, the clown went from being, like, a funny japester back in the day before, like, pop culture ruined clowns for everybody and made them terrifying, then pop culture ruined clowns for everybody and made them terrifying, which is cool.
I was about that, because I think scary clowns are neater anyway.
But, you know, I know people who were in the clowning business and they weren't very happy with that switchover.
So I am excited that now, third wave of clowning.
Clowns are sexy, boys.
To reclaim some of their power, clowns have gone from being funny to terrifying to sexy.
What a trajectory.
Thank you.
Thank you, internet.
Salute you, Pennywise.
Scare the cum right out of me.
Okay.
And on that gross note, let's move on to our abuse-a-boosh.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
I will say this, I've never regretted it being a food pun more.
Or reference.
It's not really a pun.
I've never regretted it being related to food more than that horrible segue I just did.
Anyway, amuse-bouche for this week.
We're gonna start with our buddy Michael Flynn.
He's back again.
You may call him Michael Flynn again, which I did in our notes here.
Mike, why are we talking about Michael Flynn again?
So, our boy Michael Flynn, after his little dust-up on the X-22 report, where he was all just sort of like, you know, I'm not really buying into this whole military coup thing and bargo argo.
Flynn doubled down and made a post on social media where he basically said that Q is this bullshit PSYOP and this is all ridiculous and that we digital soldiers got to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps if we're going to save America.
Ain't nobody going to save it for us.
He has done this before where he has accused QAnon of being a left-wing psy-op and this kind of stuff to discredit MAGA and blah blah blah.
But this time he really like put some extra stank on it.
He was really like belligerent about the fact that you Q people need to fucking quit making your spicy memes and posting on the internet and you need to start running for like school boards and actually doing real damage to America.
To actually break shit and ruin things so that our whole operation can be effective.
And this made QAnon incredibly sad.
Because... Oh, heartbreaking.
Just absolutely heartbreaking.
Because the military daddy is probably their third favorite daddy behind Orange Daddy and Emerald Apartheid Mind Daddy.
So...
This led to... Can we color code all of them like they were Pokemon game releases?
I would guess Flynn would just be white because he is like the most white Maxwell.
Well, let's be real.
They'd all be white.
Oh yeah, they'd all be white.
But he's the one that's like more militant in that faction of things than the rest of them.
He'd be camo colored.
He could be all camo colored.
He's army.
Yeah, that's fine.
Invisible.
Oh, Invisible Daddy!
That's Michael Flynn, he's our Invisible Daddy.
Actually, I think Invisible Daddy's God, so I think Michael Flynn shouldn't be stepping on Yahweh's turf there.
I'm just saying, dude, according to Electronic Gaming Monthly, the hottest, newest release of Wokemon Emerald, the secret Pokemon at the end of it, is Elon Musk, which is insane.
It's so good.
I love the term wokemon.
Oh my god, we have to get that into some conservative moron's fucking speech so they can fucking rail about it.
it obviously. Mr. Mimes woke. It's pretty uh uh who is he?
Mr. Mimes seems like the sort of dude to have like a bag full of feet under his floorboard.
And you'd just be like, where are the rest of the people?
He'd be like, what people?
And you're, like, looking at a bag of feet.
And you're like, oh god.
Mr. Mime, no, why?
Jinx.
Woke.
That's a Pokémon, right?
Uh, Jinx is the opposite of Woked.
Very much a black stereotype.
That's true, actually.
Pikachu.
Woke.
I'm running out of... Yeah, that one I'll allow.
Pikachu, as far as I know, there's nothing wrong with Pikachu.
The cancel culture hasn't come for Pikachu yet.
Well, Pikachu was a cop, but all cops are bastards, so... That's true.
Was he a cop?
Was he a cop?
I thought Pikachu just dressed like a cop.
If just dressing like a cop is enough to turn you into a bastard, then, dude, strippers all over the world are going to be in ruck shape.
Well, I mean, he impersonated a cop or was he a cop?
This is an important question.
Right?
Impersonating a cop is punk as fuck.
The name of the movie was Detective Pikachu.
So I don't know.
He was a private dick.
Private dicks are a different breed.
They're not really cops.
They don't have cop authority.
This is true.
That would be the greatest.
That would be the greatest.
I want 1940s noir, Detective Pikachu.
I want Pikachu, like, pre-World War II, solving the murder of someone in San Francisco.
That's what I want now.
That's the movie for me.
Please don't make that movie.
It'll make no money.
Because only I will care about it.
Yeah, exactly, and I mean it's just like, as funny as it is to picture just like a grizzled hard-boiled Pikachu behind a desk just being like, the day walked in and she had gams for days, and then the camera turns over and it's just like fucking like a giraffe a ring or something, and you're just like, oh I get it, it's Pokemon.
I don't know how many of those jokes you're gonna get away with before people are just like, this is boring.
Yes.
So anyhow, Michael Flynn's post led to this giant reaction inside of QAnon where people had to take sides and Mainly, people were defending Flynn and saying, look guys, Flynn has to keep his distance from Q, he's playing a role, and Michael Flynn's just trying to give us a slap on the ass.
We gotta be motivated.
We gotta be powerful digital soldiers.
We gotta fight to create the Great Awakening.
We gotta do all this work.
and other people, like the Flynn-hating crew, like Matrix Authority and Spooky Groove,
those guys were like, we told you, we told you Michael Flynn was a piece of shit,
fucking called it, boom, nailed it, jump shot.
We're the best.
And everyone else is trying to rationalize why he was doing this.
Totally not Q, Ron Watkins popped onto his dad's livestream and gave like a minute-long rambling speech
about how Michael Flynn said that Q was a psy-op, but he used a negative condensation for that term.
But a psy-op can mean any kind of thing.
It can be a good thing.
And I think Q was totally a good thing.
And it was just like, yeah, we know, Ron, because you were Q. And obviously, you thought you were doing good, because you were doing it.
I don't know very many people who are like, I'm doing a bad thing.
And now the bad thing I'm doing is more bad.
Yeah, and usually the people that do say things like that are saying it by way of an acoustic guitar on, like, a stage or, you know, recording some sort of, like, the sickest blues album you've ever heard.
But if you're like, I wish I could stop drinking and cheating on my wife, but I can't.
Here's a song about it.
Okay.
So is Flynn an enemy now?
Is he a black hat?
See if I'm an enemy.
Boom.
Nailed it.
Portmanteau.
Love it.
But not really, because most people are clinging to Camouflage Daddy as best they can.
The one really funny thing that happened as a result of this whole conversation.
Oh, they just put out that hit song.
You can't dump him now.
Yeah.
He did his T-Pain impersonation.
We got to keep him on the, we got to keep him in the roster for a while.
He could come up with another killer T-Pain jam any minute now.
That'd be incredible.
But, um...
The one other sub note to all of this that was really funny was this sparked a large debate in the QAnon community about the nature of Q. And basically there was this real big argument over is Q still a super secret spy who was working hand in hand with Donald Trump to save the world from the bad guys?
Or is Q like literally just a guy and he triggered the Great Awakening by opening our minds and making us question everything and blah, blah, blah.
And I was just reading that shit, and I'm just trying to imagine some Christian being like, hey guys, does it really matter if Christ was divine and the Son of God or not?
Because, I mean, he just had some good points.
Can't we just accept that he was good?
It's like, no, dum-dum.
The whole point of Christianity is that Jesus died for our sins and saved the world as a result of it.
The whole point of QAnon is that QTeam went to Donald Trump, begged him to run for president, to save the world from Hillary Clinton, and he did that and he won because they helped beat the chief.
And now they're all going to arrest all the bad guys and send them to Gitmo and save the world.
QAnon doesn't work if- They're going to dare the rope us all.
Yes.
Basically, that's the dream.
I mean, that's the goal of all this shit.
It's a fascistic fantasy, and it's dangerous.
I like that you were explaining... Not that we have to mention it.
I don't know why I mentioned that.
I'm a little high.
No, I don't mind that you mentioned it.
What got to me was that you mentioned it in an ASMR voice.
You were like, it's a fascistic I don't know why I'm so- I don't- I'm a little high.
I don't know why you got so quiet on that!
I'm here to- I'm here to terrify you and also get those nerves in the back of your neck prickling.
We have to do cloud photos, ASMR voice.
I mean, calm down, Hayley.
The listeners can only handle so much.
I'm so sorry, audience, who- The audience slash your co-host can only handle so much.
All the power!
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Do we have listeners?
I believe so.
Actually, yeah.
One of them actually reached out on Blue Sky Ocean.
It's like, I'm the one who posted the correction.
And I was like, oh, thanks for the support.
Oh, that's my favorite listener so far, because that was my favorite correction of all time.
I was like, thanks for the support.
How fucking dare you question us.
We're Never Rock.
I'll put you in your fucking place.
I'm a nobody on the internet, dammit, but I'll put you in your fucking place.
How dare you question my power.
Uh, so, okay, before we move away from the Flint thing, uh, because I'm always too distracted by going off-topic to actually be on-topic, I forgot to ask.
Why was Flynn talking about Q at all in this instance?
Like, you said that he got up there and he was just like, Q's bullshit, fuck Q. It was a long post, I thought.
Like, why was he talking about, like, Q is nothing now, right?
I mean, like, in terms of, like, what they're out there doing.
Why was he talking about Q at all?
Uh, because this just jumped off from the confrontation he had on X-22, where Dave, the weird anonymous host of the X-22 report, was basically sort of begging Flynn To tell him that the military was going to save us from Biden and all the bad guys.
And Flynn was just not having any of that shit and was like, buddy, no.
The military is beholden to the civilian government.
That's what makes us a constitutional republic that respects the rule of law and the results of our elections.
And he did throw in some dodges about duly elected to try to keep the QAnon people happy, but Flynn was just really going hard on that whole, this is the structure of our government, this is how it works, and the military is subordinate to the civilian.
Because if the military just starts fucking cooing civilian governments they don't like, then we don't really have a functioning fucking government.
And the ex-22 guy was just big sad.
He's like, oh no, now we got to wait for the 2024 election to get rid of Biden.
I was hoping there'd be a coup tomorrow.
So that little dust... Yeah, they're going to be hoping up until like the last day of four years, Biden presidency.
They're going to be like, tonight's the night, boys.
They're going to get in there.
They're going to pull him right out of the presidency.
We're going to get him.
And that's the sort of enthusiasm I want to see from those people.
So they can be devastated the next morning when he gets reelected to the presidency of the United States.
It's going to be so good.
They're gonna be so angry because he is so boring.
They do everything in their power to make Joe Biden the dark Brandon so they have something cool to fight against, but he's a real boring dude.
For a president who's gone to two active war zones, he's very boring.
Joe Biden just like, yeah, doing like ridiculously dangerous shit and it's still just like, Sorry dude, you're like a million years old and you're white.
You will never truly be cool or interesting to so many people.
It's just the way you work.
Yeah, 40% of the population wants somebody younger by three years to get in there and really bring their youthful, exuberant energy to the presidency of the United States again.
Oh, God, yeah.
Can we get somebody who's three years younger and fat to fill this role, please?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, please.
What a breathtaking... I mean, because one of my favorite things, they're like, Biden's barely active.
He doesn't do anything.
They call a lid.
These people have never even heard the term call a lid until a couple of years ago.
You're calling a lid in the White House at one o'clock in the afternoon.
It's ridiculous.
He's a part-time employee.
Have you read any memoirs about the Trump presidency?
They couldn't get him out of his bed until, like, two in the afternoon, and then he'd come down to the office and bitch for, like, three hours before going golfing, because he's, like, up ten feet high.
Also, which is it?
Is he lazy?
Is he a lazy do-nothing, or is it hilarious that he fell off of his bike during his, like, three-mile morning bike ride or whatever?
Because it can't be both.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, he'd be like, ah, look at him, the idiot.
He fell over while exercising regularly.
What a dum-dum.
He's so old.
And also, oh, he can never get out of bed.
He's so old.
It's like, ah.
He seems to be running a pretty wide gamut of old symptoms, you know?
Yes!
Anyway, moving on from Michael Flynn to one of my favorite things I get to do on the podcast, which is chastise my co-host Mike.
Because in our amuse-bouche little notes, he just sent me, and I quote, Trump's an idiot.
And so I have a note here that says, get your shit together, Mike.
Because that could mean fucking anything.
That's every time we talk about him.
That would be like, here's a talking point.
Water is wet.
You know what, dear audience, if you ever experience water when it hits your skin and it leaves sort of like a... you might call it a residue on your skin.
We call that wet.
That sensation is wet.
And water, it's always that!
Yeah.
Well, the main reason why I just said the Trump is an idiot thing was because...
I wanted to save the actual details of this week's idiocy for the pod.
He gave a speech and in this speech he got the leader of Turkey wrong because he said it was Viktor Orban was the head of Turkey when he's the actual leader of Hungary.
Irigin is the head of Turkey, so he just- Erdogan.
Erdogan.
I can't say his name right, but I am not running for president after having formally been president, so I'm allowed- You're also white.
Trump's also white, so- I know, I'm just saying, you can't say Erdogan, it's fine.
I'm giving you a pass for getting Erdogan wrong.
And who the fuck are you to give out passes?
I'm just saying, Erdogan, that's how you say it.
This is the part where Hayley's just like, my last name is Erdogan.
I'm Hayley Erdogan.
And then it's just like, okay, I guess that's my bad then.
you are the expert. So he got the leader of Hungary wrong, or
Turkey wrong. He got the thing wrong. He did a wrong thing.
That if Biden did that wrong, it'd be a 24 seven loop on Fox
News about how Kamala Harris has the 25th Amendment old, useless
Joe ASAP and get him out of the White House because we don't have a president anymore. He's just a dumb, drooly, slobby
It's easy to get your authoritarians mixed up, you know.
Oh, it really is!
And then he went on this jag about how the word us is also the U.S., the United States, and how has nobody ever thought of that before?
You look at those two little letters, U.S., us, it's U.S., and he just It's just like a baby learning language for the first time.
And it was so enchanting to him, watching him figure out how these two letters interplay with each other on the stage.
And it's like, oh my god, what are we doing here?
And then Later on in his speech, he declared that his followers don't have to vote for him, that what matters is counting the votes and making sure that the votes are counted.
And he said that, quote, we have plenty of voters.
You don't need to vote.
We're good.
My vote total, currently acceptable.
I do not need any more.
What I need is for people to monitor their vote counts, because that is how I will be cheated.
And I will be defeated.
Yeah, absolutely.
Dude, I totally agree with him.
Do not vote.
If you wanted to vote for Trump, don't do that.
You don't need it.
He's good.
He doesn't need it.
Donald Trump has told you he doesn't want your vote.
And also, he's endorsing no voting.
Let that be our official stance.
No voting.
Yeah, if you would vote for Donald Trump, that your vote is unnecessary, he's got it in the bag, do not vote.
However, we'll go ahead and make sure that we have election security the same way we always have.
Maybe even more, because you know what?
What's the problem with a little more security?
It's just like, yeah dude, that would be great.
I don't think any liberals out there is just like, no, we would really love if voting was less secure, please.
Can we make voting less secure?
It's like, no.
If you want people to scrutinize the vote, sure.
I would be happy to have as many institutions as you need to tell me that you got your ass passed in another election because you keep telling your fucking constituents not to vote.
Yeah, liberals are not looking for the Gangs of New York style election where the Irishmen with beards down to their chins vote and then run to the barber and get clean shaven and then run back for another ballot because they're a different dude.
Like, that's not what we're looking for.
Ormules, I mean, I hope, God, I mean, I made so much money in 2020 running around dropping off ballots in Georgia.
I mean, I was just raking in the cash.
The DoorDash for ballots.
It was great.
You just like pull out the little app and it goes, ding, ding, ding, ding.
It's like, deliver four ballots to this ballot box.
You run over there, you get 40 bucks for it.
You're like, boom, yeah.
Yeah, it's great that they're using the most secure network ever so there's no evidence of this.
It's really safe.
It's just free money, you know?
It's money for nothing.
It also chicks for free.
I've always wanted to know exactly how the mule recruitment process worked.
How did the company looking for mules find them, and how did the mules know to be hired?
Like, that's what I want to know.
It all happens in the town of Oatman, Arizona, which is a rural town here that's made up of mules.
Literally.
Well, I've got good news for you, Mike.
I've got A24 on the line, and they are willing to greenlight our origin movie for Human Mule!
Oh my God, it's human fuel!
No!
Man, thank God for A24.
They'll greenlight fucking anything.
God bless.
I love how, just real quick before we go to headline news, just a real quick, brief little tangent.
I heard that A24 was out there.
They're just like, yeah, we're looking to maybe start making bigger movies with like bigger budgets for like a wider audience.
And everyone was like...
Fuck you, A24!
Boo!
Fuck you, A24!
You fuck right off!
And it's just like, guys, they didn't say, and also we're gonna stop making independent horror movies and we're going to kill your grandmother if she's not dead already.
Like, they just said they wanted to make some bigger movies for a wider audience.
Fucking calm down.
Anyway.
Yes.
And that is my horror-themed rant for our Halloween episode.
So it's vaguely, tangentially related to something.
Who knows?
Anyway, now it's time for us to move on to not our headline news segment.
I almost skipped our wonderful button of a boosh, which is always Arizona Calling featuring Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch.
What's going on in your fucked up state today?
Well, we're going to do two quick ones, two quick updates.
No, you only get one.
No!
Actually, like three people reached out to me about the ASU segment that we covered last week because they were interested in it.
So thank you for reaching out.
I didn't know we had listeners.
I didn't know people liked me.
Thank you.
But anyway, as we discussed, Charlie Kirk of Turning Point USA, he has a whole army of little fascist goons all over the country.
Two of them just gay-bashed a professor at ASU.
This has turned into, like I said last week, a who-hit-who-first kind of thing because the professor put his arm up to block the camera at one point and then the Turning Point USA guy, Kalen De Almeida, body-tackled this guy and he's like an older man.
It's been like a who hit who first kind of thing.
The ASU Police Department has been investigating the Turning Point USA guys as committing a crime with like, we don't have a hate crime statue here but you can, it could have like bias or prejudice stat like added on to it.
So they're being investigated for that with the bias and prejudice like added on.
But they filed charges against the professor saying that they were actually assaulted.
Oh, of course.
Yes, yes.
And they have like turning point, you know, backing them and They've been doing like this big media blitz like Andy Ngo has been disparaging The Professor and, you know, just every right-wing ghoul you can think of.
And interestingly, on Like, this week, a couple union, like, teacher unions spoke out about this incident, like, siding with the professor.
And Charlie Kirk, like, was quote tweeting, like, the unions that were speaking out about the incident, like, saying his narrative of the incident saying like the professor hit our team first and we were actually assaulted um and because of the great way that twitter works now uh it all got community noted so all the community notes on this story now read that the professor actually assaulted turning point usa because twitter is cool now
And the, like, evidence that Twitter, the community note sites, is the fucking edited Frontlines video that Turning Point USA put out.
And also a Jack Posobiec post calling the professor, like, a liar.
So that's what Twitter's turned into.
It's just being, like, weaponized further to disparage this professor.
Or conversely, it's become an incredible platform that only facilitates free speech and the truth.
You're so fucking right, Bill.
You're so fucking right.
I'm incredibly wise.
Whenever I do one of my conservative characters, I always sound the most sane and wise.
I've always said that about you.
You're so wise.
You're truly the smartest.
I really channel the strong moral fortitude and incredible firm grasp on reality that is the average conservative in America.
Um, so yeah, and then there'll probably be like a couple turning point legislators that hold a hearing that'll just like further disparage this professor.
They're just like putting all their political power behind this hate incident that they were a part of.
They're like, oh, we, we did a bad, okay, let's like double down, triple down, quadruple down.
We're going to ruin this professor's life.
You know?
As one does when you're a rational, sane, good political party that should have lots of power in America.
Absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
There's a couple unions calling for them to be, like, formally, like, have their club, like, taken off campus.
I don't think that'll happen because Charlie will throw a fit.
In brighter news, I will never stop talking about the Cyber Ninjas because they're hilarious.
They were forced to turn over some text messages a while back, you know, as part of a lawsuit.
It was all redacted.
A lot of it was redacted.
But the Cyber Ninjas, always, always the fucking geniuses that they are.
They're text expert.
They're tech expert.
The way that they redacted the text was just by, like, highlighting it.
You know, in like Word doc and putting like a black overlay.
So you could just highlight that and you just you just read that or just remove the overlay.
So they discovered that actually none of those text messages were properly redacted.
So everybody have fun with that.
Yeah.
Have you heard anything about what's in the text messages yet?
Or is the unredaction like currently ongoing?
It's just like the same shit that we already kind of knew is like Karen Phan was texting like Doug Logan saying like we can't we can't let the public know who's actually funding this which was like For the listeners, it was Patrick Byrne, former CEO of Overstock.
It was Michael Flynn.
It was Sidney Powell.
It was this fuck name, Matthew DiPerno, who's like part of the whole scheme.
It was the Christina Bob and Chanel Rion of OAN.
They were like raising money for it while simultaneously talking about it for OAN,
like they were quote unquote reporting on it for OAN while being like the only people
who got like full access to the audit because you know, they were friends with,
they're working for the people who were, you know, running this audit.
Like Christina Bob is also Trump's attorney.
So, you know, it was just this big like incestuous kind of Trump thing.
And oh, also the guy that, you remember Joven Hutton Poulter, he was the fake.
Yeah, fake election expert.
I know him.
Yeah, he was also a fake treasure hunter back in the day.
He just kind of does like these fake scams and the Arizona Senate was smart enough to hire this guy.
His fake election technology that he was touting during the audit, he recently filed a patent for that.
Did you see the guy that also had the cat barcode scanner?
Yeah, he kind of does these patent scams, but he's using the audit to kind of push one of his scams, which I think is personally funny.
Good job, ACGOP.
The end.
Well, there we go.
Our weekly check-in with the madness that is Arizona State.
And genuinely exciting to hear that listeners are happy to hear more about what is rapidly becoming one of, if not the capitals of, conservative madness in our country.
And also the purview of our latest co-host.
So that's all very good.
We're very appreciative.
Thank you, Haley, for your expertise in the field.
But I shall inflate your ego no longer, at least until you produce the clown pics.
And we will move on to our news segment.
Alright, I'll go.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Well, well, well, speaking of conservative madness, I guess this week and for all weeks for the past few weeks, wow, that didn't flow as well as I had hoped, the Center for Conservative Madness has actually been our nation's capital, where Republicans in America are still incapable of coming to terms on who should be the Speaker of the House.
And for more on that drama, I will toss it over to our expert in political matters, Mr. Mike Rains.
Mr. Mike!
Why can't we get a damn Speaker of the House?
Breaking news!
We just got one!
It happened!
He arrived overnight via eBay!
Oh shit, really?
Is this happening in MediaRes?
Yes, in MediaRes.
Mike Johnson of Louisiana has obtained unanimous Republican consent and this donation... Who?
Exactly!
Exactly right.
And he is now the Speaker of the House.
They did it.
They actually did it.
Uh, people are, because they literally just grabbed some no name out of the
back of the room and said, Hey, you be speaker, people are now digging up all
the dirt on this guy and he is fucking terrible.
Um, an election denier, a massive federal abortion ban guy, anti gay marriage.
Yeah.
Uh, his, his biggest achievement from what I've been reading about of his
crazy bullshit is that he was the guy that ran around Congress, uh, organizing
people for the, uh, amicus brief or like a sort of letter to the court.
Thank you.
On behalf of the plaintiffs in the Texas versus Pennsylvania lawsuit in the 2020 election results, which was while Sidney Powell was running around talking about the Kraken and all this bullshit, the state of Texas Came up with this ridiculous idea that one state could sue another state for how that other state ran their election, which is absolutely not a fucking thing you can do because the whole point of federalism in America is that states get to run their states the way they want to.
to another state can't run in and go, hey, other state, you can't do that.
Yes!
I as a state.
Yeah.
I imagine if like states were empowered to just sue other states if they had any grievances
over their governorship.
Yes.
I feel like that would go pretty bad for a lot of the lower population states.
Yes.
So yeah, the, the Supreme Court usually doesn't give out their votes when they just shoot
down a, a, a case, but it came out that the Supreme Court, even our nut ball Supreme Court,
as fucked as it is, they rejected hearing this case seven to two.
And the two votes that were in favor were literally just Alito and Thomas believe that
these weird 10th amendment issue cases.
We're going to be back in a minute.
Where states are getting all up in other states grills.
They just kind of believe as the constitution dictates that the Supreme Court has to hear it out.
And I think Alito even said, yeah, I thought we had a right to take the case, but I would have ruled against it if we, once it had gotten to us because it's dumb.
So yeah.
So basically they, they had no possible way of winning this thing and no one was going to listen to it, but.
This was the case that this Mike Johnson fellow was like, hey, this is this is a good thing.
We need to get a bunch of Republicans to get on the record to tell the Supreme Court, yo, Supreme Court, Texas has every right to tell Pennsylvania to fuck off and make Trump the president.
Boom.
Let's do this.
So, yeah, this guy is absolutely a complete piece of shit and a hard right nutball.
But apparently because he's not Jim Jordan, The moderate Republicans are like, well, you're not the weird, loud asshole who doesn't wear a suit jacket and also has that whole ugly thing about covering up college athletes being molested.
So yeah, you'll fit.
You can be speaker now.
So yeah, enjoy your new speaker, crazy right-wing extremist nobody guy who is now in the hot seat.
He's gonna suck, isn't he?
Oh, he's gonna suck absolute shit.
This guy's fucking terrible.
I can't wait for somebody to dig up the skeleton that ends up, like, exploding him, because I just assume that every politician, and especially conservative politicians, has, like, some big one that they're just like, you know, all that stuff I said about apartheid, it was a joke.
It was a long-form joke I was saying over the course of a three-year blog about how I loved apartheid.
It was just like, okay, cool.
Yeah, I'm sure this guy is not, he is going to be so bad for Republicans.
The whole idea that there are 18 Republicans in Biden districts who just said, you know what?
Fuck it.
Maybe people won't notice.
I just approved Nutball McGee as the Speaker of the House.
It's pretty impressive.
I mean, God bless him.
I guess they just felt they had no choice and they just weren't going to give it to Jordan because he's a dick.
So like quiet, dumb, horrible asshole guy wins there.
I saw another clip of him.
Where he talked about how America wouldn't need so much immigration if women weren't aborting able-bodied workers.
So yeah, women, you're literally just fetus ovens to make more workers for the American capitalist machine.
We know.
Get cracking!
Get cracking!
Get barefoot and pregnant there, Hayley.
I refuse.
I refuse to make little orcas.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
That's the stuff.
You love to hear it.
If only everybody could get on board, you know?
So, yeah, so this guy sucks, and he is in for a lot more scrutiny than he is used to because, yeah, because he had no scrutiny before.
He was a nobody from Louisiana, which is a Republican-run state, so he probably just won re-election by- Mike, Mike, Mike, you could have just said he was from Louisiana.
Yes, this is true.
Sorry, it's my mission to at some point talk, openly talk shit about every 50 states that you do that I'm just gonna go ahead and circle back around, you know?
Yes.
So yeah, don't you think we're not coming back for you, Dakotas?
At some point we're gonna get through everybody else, and then it's your turn back in the barrel, you worthless states.
Yeah.
And don't worry, Indiana, against all odds, I've somehow not forgotten you.
I'll get to you at some point.
Yes.
I will quickly fly over insulting you to get to a cooler, more interesting state to make fun of.
What's your opinion on Utah?
Uh, I mean, I've never been.
Hit him, come on.
I've never been.
I think they're great.
I don't know, they seem like a bunch of nice people to me.
This is a lot of Mormons.
Yeah, I'm just afraid of the Mormon Mafia, you know?
Those people are serious business.
Tim Ballard.
Tim Ballard.
I will say that Utah is, I believe, the home of Moon's Rare Books, which is a place I would very much like to visit because that dude's got an incredible rare book collection.
I just think that Utah, I mean, Utah is one of our favorite states because we talk a lot about Mormonism on the podcast for some reason.
We're constantly cracking on about Moroni.
Yeah, I was about to say, I think specifically we've only adopted Moroni into our, like, stupid hell world canon as a recurring character.
We're very rarely talking about any of those other people.
It's just Moroni, the chill angel who's just hanging out in America looking over Jesus's secret of bear plates, you know?
Verona's just a chill bro who was hanging out waiting for the right guy to come look at Jesus's plates.
And he was like, you know what?
You're the first one who showed up, so you get it.
Well, you're the first non-brown person to show up.
There were tons of them around here first.
I toured a Mormon temple that was reopening here in Arizona, and they had a big open house for everybody to go see it before they locked it down for only Mormon eyes.
And it was a weird experience.
It was a weird experience.
They had a lot of white Jesus paintings, but surrounded by jungle girls, which I thought was a weird aesthetic.
I mean, I get it.
Yeah, we know.
Such a monster.
They put on little booties on my feet, so I didn't desecrate the area.
Such a monster.
Yeah, it was a...
They put on little booties on my feet, so I didn't desecrate the area.
I took a little hit on my pen.
I don't think they're going to make you put booties on your feet if you ever visit the
Satanic Temple, which is up there where Mike Rains lives.
Oh.
I've driven down to the Satanic Temple and it's incredibly boring.
It's just literally a small black house in Salem.
And I saw someone like working on the porch and I was like, well, this doesn't seem nearly as exciting as I thought it would.
And then I just left.
Just like most Satanists, you know?
Most Satanists are just liberals that have, like, a cooler label on them.
They're just sort of like, yeah, we believe that, like, individual responsibility is pretty important, and you should do, like, good in your life, and that's sort of our vibe.
And it's like, where does Satan fit in?
And they're just like, eh, he doesn't really.
It's kind of a meme.
It's kind of a joke.
But, you know, there's some pagans out there, but not to disparage them, but it is kind of... Oh, no, absolutely not.
I'm just saying that, like, in terms of, like, specifically, like, you know, the trademark to the Satanic temple... I like mean Satanists, the ones that are just like, I'm just doing this because it's funny.
I just, I just like, it's kind of ironic.
Well, they're the same people who are just like, oh, you want to put a dumb fucking Virgin Mary statue on our government building?
Well, then we're going to put a Baphomet right next to it because you can't stop us.
Like, that's the sort of... I'm into that petty shit.
And the government's like, actually, we can stop you because we're a Christian nationalist country.
Actually, actually, they don't.
No, no.
It happens in Illinois a lot.
There was a... The Illinois State House had a bunch of religious tributes from all these different religions for Christmas.
And at the front of the display, they literally had a big sign that explained, the First Amendment treats all religions equally, so we have to display all religious iconography that is given to us.
And the Christians had the manger, they just had the virgin birth, they had baby Jesus.
And on the other side of the display, the Satanists had an outstretched arm that had a snake wrapped around the arm, and inside the hand of the arm was an apple, and the caption was, knowledge is the greatest gift.
Oh, I get it, like Twilight.
Yes.
See, in Scottsdale, Arizona, hoity-toity Scottsdale, they actually, like, denied the Satanic Temple their, like, you know, religious right to perform an incantation that they wanted to on the Capitol steps or something, the city council steps, whatever.
But that's why they held SatanCon here last year, because it was in Scottsdale, because they were like, fuck you.
Fuck you, Scottsdale.
Hoity-toity Scottsdale.
And I'm also sure the ACLU was all over that shit.
I don't know.
This guy's small potatoes.
Yeah, but I'm saying that's kind of the easy, slam-dunk First Amendment kind of lawsuit that any civil liberties lawyer would be like, oh sure, I'll fucking take that.
That's the sort of low-hanger fruit the ACLU loves.
Right, exactly.
It's just like, fuck it.
Hey, no hate.
My catchphrase is that the juiciest fruit hangs the lowest, you know?
Yes, exactly.
Alright, getting back on track for our last news item for the week, but it's a big one.
We're going back to our good friend Donald Trump, who's currently staring down the barrel of what one might call a domino rally of people deciding to plead out.
And it turns out that it's a pretty bad look for you when a bunch of people start saying, yeah, that criminal conspiracy, we were guilty of doing that stuff.
Because a lot of people are implicated in that web of shit.
And for more, I'll turn it over to Mike.
Mike, Trump's legal woes.
We keep coming back to it.
How's it going for him this week?
Oh, fucking unbelievably bad.
So, right when we finished recording last week, Sidney Powell and Kenneth Cheeseboro, who I like to call Cheesebro, because that's how his name is spelled.
He's Cheesebro.
So, the Cheese and the Kraken were about to have a jury We're about to start unpaneling a jury.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm not going to let you gloss over that.
Did you just come up with cheese and crackin'?
Was that you?
Or did you steal that from somebody?
Uh, we just came up with that.
I didn't even know I said that.
Boom!
Cheese and crackin'.
That's a great one, Mike.
I'm going to give you credit for that.
That's a great little pun.
So, anyhow, the cheese and the Kraken, they were about to have juries.
Because the thing that was really funny about all this is that everybody else in these cases, and Donald Trump in all of his cases, has been like, can we hold the trial sometime in the year 2050, long after I am dead?
Because I would really prefer my legal team to have all the time needed to wait for my death so that I can avoid legal repercussions for my crimes.
Powell and Kraken and Cheese here, they decided, we want a speedy trial.
We are going to exercise Georgia's give us our fucking trial ASAP, you pieces of shit.
And apparently, like, their gambit was thinking that Georgia wasn't ready to prosecute them and that they didn't have their ducks in a row for the case, so that maybe hitting them with the quick trial might help them out.
And then they found out, oh no, oh no, Georgia's ducks are all perfectly aligned.
Oh my God, those ducks, you've never seen ducks better, more rowy than this.
So.
The day before the juries were supposed to be impaneled for their cases, Powell and Cheese, Kraken and Cheese, decided, well, we're done.
We're out of here.
And Sidney Powell pleaded guilty.
And so did the Cheese.
Sidney Powell is, I know that in her plea deal, she agreed to testify truthfully against the other co-defendants in this Rico case.
Which means Rudy is really fucked.
I mean, Trump's probably also fucked, but she's really tied to Rudy in all of this.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Chef's kiss.
Boom.
And Ken Chesebrough, he was part of this, the whole idea of creating a legal narrative around this.
So Ken Eastman, who was the head of that legal Framework.
That's the guy that's most on the hook for his flipping.
But that's still, again, all roads lead to Trump.
Trump is the main person who's at risk from all of this.
And then, I believe just yesterday, Jenna Ellis decided to join everybody else in pleading guilty.
And she gave a very tearful speech to the court about how if she knew that she was going to crime really hard and then get caught for her criming, she wouldn't have crimed so much.
And it's like, Jenna, you were literally...
You were not a Trump supporter for the longest time, and you're backing DeSantis now.
What were you waiting for on this whole flipping thing?
Why did you let the Kraken and the cheese beat you to the punch when it came to try to cut a deal as quickly as possible?
But yeah, so of the 19 people that were indicted in the in the Georgia-Rico case, four have flipped now.
Scott Hall, who no one remembers, was the first person to flip, but no one cared about him because he's not a name.
But now the people we actually know are deciding that it's time to call it a day and to start telling the DA what they need to hear so that bigger fish can be fried.
This is looking good for Arizona also, just an FYI, because Cheeseboro is the, he helped cook up the fake elector scheme, which was big here.
We had a lot of fake electors, including elected officials and the head of the AZGOP at the time.
And also Jenna Ellis was here for the fake Giuliani like hearings that he held.
So, There's a lot of pressure now for Democrat AG to start cooking something up with all that.
I just love that these people just cannot stop, like, getting caught with more crimes.
Just the idea that what they've already been indicted with isn't the end of it, that there's more in the barrel.
There's more water we can get out of that well when it comes to their criminess.
It's pretty impressive.
So while all this is going on in Georgia, We then found out that Mark Meadows was given limited immunity in the January 6th case in Washington, D.C., and that Meadows has testified to the grand jury a few times that Jack Smith's made him do this.
And the main bit of information that we've gotten from the Meadows testimony that's been released is that Trump was, quote unquote, dishonest on election night, that Meadows admitted to that.
And basically, The main point of what we're learning from this testimony is that a lot of the defense that Trump has been trying to use is that he legitimately thought he was the winner and that he got fucked over and that he had a legal right to protest what happened to him because it was bullshit.
And Trump was just sort of like, Hey, I need to be able to defend myself and blah, blah, blah.
And I got screwed.
Pretty much what Meadows' testimony is saying is that Trump knew he lost and he acknowledged that he lost and was just lying about it because he didn't want to admit that he lost because it made him look bad and he felt sad about it.
So right now we're in this situation where that is, we're going to see what actually comes about from Meadows' immunity, but it's going to be, hopefully it's going to be some fun on a bun with him helping to, because the, The January 6th case is coming down the pipeline.
It's going to start on March 4th, 2024.
When Trump will actually stand trial in Georgia is nebulous because there's so many other defendants that they're working around.
But that's the trial that Trump's in the most trouble for at the moment because it's the trial that we know when it's happening and we know what he's going to be accused of.
So Meadows flipping on him in that case is probably the biggest legal threat to him at this point.
Trump knows this because he literally shit a brick on Truth Social posting a giant screed about how he's like, I don't think Mark Meadows would lie about the rigged and stolen election, and how he knows I got screwed over, and bargle bargle, and uh...
A lot of people are very upset and they're just like, bro, literally anyone else who did what Trump just did would be in jail for witness tampering.
Because Trump is literally just saying, hey Mark Meadows, stop testifying against me.
That's bullshit.
You fucking prick.
I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but that does sound like witness tampering when you tell someone to shut up.
Zip your lip, bub, if you know what's good for ya!
Yeah, but that doesn't apply to Donald Trump, because he's... You know, he's... He's a guy!
You know, he's... You know, when you're rich they let you do it.
Yes, exactly!
I don't think Mark Meadows would lie about the rigged and stolen with two L's because he's got a trigger queuing on 2020 presidential election for merely getting immunity in all caps against prosecution.
Brackets, all caps.
Persecution by deranged prosecutor Jack Smith.
But when you really think about it, after being hounded like a dog for three years, told you're going to go to jail for the rest of your life, your money and your family will be forever gone, and we're Not that interested in exposing those that did the rigging.
If you say bad things about that terrible monster, in quotes, Donald J. Trump, we won't put you in prison and you can keep your family and your wealth and perhaps you can make up some really horrible stuff about him.
We may very well erect a statue of you in the middle of our decaying and now very violent capital, Washington, D.C.
Some people would take that deal, but they are weaklings and cowards, and so bad for the future of our failing nation.
I don't think that Mark Meadows is one of them, but who really knows?
Make America Great Again!
I love the idea of Mark Meadows being like, I will flip on Trump, but I demand a statue in Washington, D.C.
And then the prosecutor's like, yeah, we can make that happen.
We'll get you a statue.
Washington, D.C., which according to Trump, is quickly becoming the capital wasteland from Fallout 3.
Yes.
I love how Donald Trump like...
You know, in his mind, like, you know, I think he should have just been a writer at some point.
Because you can never just say, like, hey, like, you know, I don't think this guy's going to flip on me.
Unless maybe they give him a statue in downtown D.C.
or whatever.
No, he's just like, I don't think that Mark Meadows, who was such-and-such, did this and that, the bippity-bippity-boo, would ever flip on me, uh, despite the fact that dip-a-dip-a, ba-doo-ba-doo, unless they gave him a statue with the, oh, quickly, rapidly decaying babbity-boo.
He's like, he's very descriptive.
He's always just filling it in with a bunch of extra superfluous, like, just say what you mean, man.
I don't need you to just be like, Jack Smith, parentheses, who is, no, no, no, no, no.
Or like, Downtown D.C., parentheses, which is, no, I don't need that.
Quit adding those parentheses when you talk.
Take all that shit into parentheses out, Mr. Trump.
Let's welcome you to the world of editing.
Let's try to keep this tight.
I remember back before the brainworms got truly crippling with Trump, that he would tell aides that he was upset when Twitter moved up to 280 characters because he thought himself to be the king of the tight tweet, that he was very good at the 140 character limit tweet, that he could really just get his words in it, ba-boom, ba-boom, bam.
And he's like, ah, now everyone's gonna have good tweets.
They can do 280.
So, this is ridiculous.
Yeah, and then, like, his aide just, like, sort of, like, logs into Twitter and looks at, checks out his most recent posts.
He's just like, Michelle Obama is a man.
And it's just like, okay, well, I, you gotta give him credit.
He's the king, baby.
What a fuckin' well-constructed, tight little zinger there.
Oh my god, Mr. Trump, I'm so sorry that Twitter's fucking you by increasing the character limit.
Don't worry, at some point in the future, a white knight will emerge and he will destroy Twitter for its transgressions.
Yes!
And you, being a giant pouty baby, will not post on Twitter, except for when you just couldn't help yourself and had to post your mugshot to be just like, Hey, look everybody, I can post on Twitter, but I'm not doing it.
Here's my mugshot.
I ain't ashamed of it.
I look good.
I look hard.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
All right, so, you know, as it is every week, the Republicans in charge of their sliver of our United States government are a bunch of clowns that do a bunch of clown shit and not in the fun, sexy clown way.
Clowns derogatory, not clowns positive.
Yeah, maybe as I learn to embrace the klussy, I'll stop using clown to describe bad stuff.
But the problem is that, like, As culture advances... There's two different clowns.
I'm supposed to be nice to everybody.
How am I supposed to describe people that are bad?
It's fine.
You just have to distinct a clown derogatory.
We all have two clowns inside of us.
It's up to you which clown you feed.
That is the question.
Anyway, yeah, so as it is every week, those people can't get their shit together, Donald Trump, seconds away from the legal gallows and yet never... He's really edging us, you know?
Yeah!
He's like the sting of getting federal jail time.
Yeah, so this also just happened.
In his civil trial, basically Trump walked out of the courtroom and then talking to the press, he said that the judge is a crazy partisan and the person next to him is even more partisan than he is.
And when the judge was like, what the fuck were you talking about?
Trump's lawyer was like, oh, he was talking about Michael Cohen.
He was talking about the witness.
And the judge was like, I'm pretty sure you were talking about my staffer, who I specifically told you not to go after.
And the lawyer's like, no, no, no.
And the judge was just like, I'm, I'm thinking that this was the staffer and I'm also thinking that I fucking warned you about this shit.
And I said, there'd be punishments for this.
And so, uh, the, the, the judge is talking tough, but, um, I'll believe Trump gets put in jail for, um... God, the word immediately escapes my brain the moment I said it.
But basically, like, uh, contempt of court, yeah.
Yeah, I'll believe Trump spends a couple days in the pokey for contempt of court when I see it.
So, uh, less big talk, Judge, more actually telling the bailiff to escort the defendant to the clink.
And then I'll, uh... Little less conversation, little more action!
You know it, you know it.
That's what I'm here for, yes.
Alright, let's move on to our juicy headline mailbag.
Yeah, that's what I was about to say.
Incredible.
What a good podcaster I am.
Let's move on to our listener mailbag for the week.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q&A.
Q&A, our headline listener segment of booshes.
Old McWatkins asks, recently I was catching up on an episode that I missed and Mike gave a small talk about some of the curious racist history of Boston.
As a black man born and raised in Boston, or a simple son of a pig farmer, I feel the need to ask Mike to maybe tell us about Willie O'Ree.
I am not deep in the lore of Willie O'Ree, who is the first black hockey player in NHL history, and he played on the Bruins.
I'm just not that big on hockey history, and I'm kind of What you'd call a pink hat or a casual fan to actual hockey.
I mostly just follow the Bruins until they blow it and then I celebrate the Golden Knights because I lived out in Vegas for a while and I'm allowed to support a good team.
But I did look into his story and it was mostly just how unbelievably racist and shitty people were when he was playing in the NHL and how He was like the target of all kinds of awful stuff from the crowds.
And then when he got to the Montreal Canadiens, they were just sort of like, yeah, you're going to our farm team and that's just where you're going to be because no.
And that's like, I can just see hockey being this incredibly white sport because it's mostly Canada based and Canada is really white.
So.
I can see how like making progress and having diversity in hockey was a lot rougher than the other sports because you can only really play it where it's very cold and the demographics of very cold countries skews very white and that was like basically when the Berlin Wall fell and The people from the formerly communist Eastern European and Russia could play could move to America and make money playing hockey.
Those are also white countries.
So it's just like man, this is it's really shitty how like he was treated and how Hockey as a whole, I don't really know that they really do that much when it comes to celebrating diversity and working on those kinds of things because I remember some Russian hockey players wouldn't wear Pride jerseys during Pride celebrations.
Cause they're just like, yeah, Putin wouldn't want us doing this.
So fuck it.
We ain't doing it.
And it's just like, man.
So it's, it's really like kind of funny what a weird sticky wicket hockey is in because the demographics of pretty much every other sport is like a million percent more diverse.
I mean, there's just whites are pretty much a minority.
They're a minority in basketball and football, definitely.
And baseball is.
Kind of a hodgepodge of blacks, whites, Hispanics, and just all the nations in the Caribbean and so forth that got into baseball because it's a really easy game to just play.
Because here, here's a stick and a ball.
Now you're playing baseball.
Congratulations.
It's not... Here's a stick, here's a ball.
Now you're really cooking with boredom.
Yes, yes you are!
Oh man!
Oh, but it's really hard to hit the ball with the stick.
Yeah, that's the point of the game.
Not much happens.
Ever.
Great.
Combobulations.
So yeah.
What if we each had a stick and we tried to hit the ball back?
No, that's a different game.
This game only one person may attempt to hit the ball at any time.
Yeah.
Yeah, baseball, incredibly poorly designed.
But, like, baseball is basically the magic, the gathering of sports, where it was incredibly poorly designed, but you just got in the door first.
So it's just gonna be around for forever, no matter how bad it is.
It's just... And also, got in the door first is a stretch.
It was just, for some reason, white people never saw football back when.
The purest game involving a ball around.
Literally just, here's a ball.
Make a game.
And somehow, that didn't take off with the Caucasian public of the late 1800s, early 1900s.
But boy, sitting around for seven hours watching a guy trying to hit a ball with a stick.
That was really what got the people going.
Yeah.
Screw you, America, for getting this so aggressively wrong.
Also, I never knew that the first black hockey player was in Boston, or playing in Boston.
That is interesting to know.
And it's good to know that Boston finally got rid of all of their racism in sports, and we never had to deal with it again.
And everybody's like, damn, Boston, what a not-racist city.
When I think of Boston, I think of not-brutal redlining and racism.
Absolutely not.
When I think of Boston, I can't help but think of how In my Boston experience, that commercial, that fake commercial that I think SNL did or whatever with Casey Affleck, where he ends it by just throwing his full coffee on the windshield of that guy's car during a disagreement, is the most accurate thing I've ever seen about Boston.
That might as well have been a documentary.
David Attenborough could be talking over that clip.
And it would be perfectly acceptable, because that is exactly what Boston is about.
Like a guy ripping a butt, drinking an iced coffee when it's negative 20 degrees outside, and then getting in an argument with somebody, and just whipping the full coffee he just paid for at their car to make a point.
Here's a $5 point.
Fuck you, buddy.
Ah, you really showed him, Mr. Affleck.
You put him in his place.
Ah, fuck!
Now I gotta go back into the dunks and get into the coffee.
Yeah.
I was like, I enjoy more than Bostonians calling it dunks.
This is...
Oh, it's...
It's...
So I'm sorry that I didn't have more on Willie O'Ree.
I am not good on hockey.
I apologize.
But thank you for the question.
Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld's Great Inquisitor asks, considering its irreconcilable internal strife and chaos, what is the expiration date on the GOP?
I don't know that it has one, because it's a means to obtain power in America, and people like those.
It doesn't end until America ends, unfortunately.
It's just going to get more radical, and it's just going to get more awful and authoritarian and fascist, and that's just the party.
In my opinion.
Wow, way to fucking bring the mood down.
I'm sorry!
I'm just saying!
You don't have to vote for him!
Read while you're high!
Get back into that positive mental state!
Okay.
But no, all joking aside, what she said is mostly right.
Or maybe entirely right.
There's definitely no expiration on the GOP.
It's just a consolidation of power between rich whites.
It's always going to be around.
Yeah, I mean, the thing is, is just a question of how much power can we drain from them before that sort of faction of American politics decides to kind of abandon the branding of the Republican Party and then starts to just kind of work its way into the Democratic Party.
So you have like basically conservative Democrats and liberal Democrats, and that becomes kind of the power structure situation.
There's always going to be a push in any country for rich people to pay less taxes and have more power.
And rich people are always going to fight for that.
So that is what you're always up against.
You're always up against entrenched power, and entrenched power is never going to go anywhere.
And even if you think you've broken the entrenched power, whatever power it still has, it's going to fight to keep it and then expand it.
And that being said, I do think we may be in the middle of seeing the GOP as like...
First violent convulsions from a Shin Godzilla-esque metamorphosis into a different animal.
I mean, just the weird corner they painted themselves into with this whole house speaker situation, where it's just like any old disgruntled fucking GOP person could just be like, hey, I don't like that guy.
Get him out.
Like, let's have to spin our wheels a bunch, like wasting our time liking another person.
That's a symptom of something, like, Different.
You know, I mean, that's a level of fundamental governance breakdown that I don't think we've seen yet, and I think it's a symptom of, like, the GOP starting to take, like, a radical shift in, like, a different direction.
What that direction ends up being specifically, it's unclear to me, because I don't really care that much about politics.
But as, like, an outsider looking in, I'm just like, damn, those dudes look like they are having a fucking rough go of it, and it seems like they need to make some sort of change.
And I believe that that's, like, they are forcing their own hand.
Like, at some point they are going to have to make a change.
And whether or not it is good or bad, spoiler warning, it will be bad.
Like, you know, that's yet to be seen.
Yeah, I absolutely agree with that.
It's like when people tell me how will QAnon end, and I tell them it's not going to end, it's going to evolve.
It's going to change into a different grift.
But like, the idea of people being obsessed with a conspiracy theory that explains everything that's happening in our world.
Like, that mentality isn't going away anytime soon.
So the question just is, how do we deal with people who have that mentality?
Yeah, QAnon itself is like a sugar cube, and before there were a bunch of hungry little conspiracy goons licking on the sugar cube.
But then once the larger, like, the larger zeitgeist sort of got their hands on it, they were just like, how do we put this sugar cube in a glass of water, dissolve it down, disseminate it to a lot of people?
In a different, watered-down form, because that's sort of how stuff gains traction.
Like, unless you're a musician, because Taylor Swift and BTS seem to be the only people these days that can get a lot of people to rally behind them at maximum strength, with like, no concessions, maximum strength, we love them, woo!
You know what I mean?
And then pull in like $150 million at a box office.
Like, something like QAnon, it was never going to be like that.
You're never going to get a bunch of people to buy into it at maximum strength, like, across the board.
So, you know, you dilute it down and you make it palatable to a general audience, and it changes in that way.
And the GOP is going to change, and they're going to have to change it, like, a similar way, you know what I mean?
The stuff they've been peddling the past 10 years is clearly not working.
In fact, they're more dysfunctional and broken than ever.
So, at the very least, they're going to need to get all their ducks in a row and decide on which line or lines Of insane, self-destructive, bad-for-America rhetoric.
They're gonna hang their hats on.
Yes, absolutely.
Do they keep the pressure up on these social issues that are absolutely toxic to them?
I mean, Trump even came out and be like, yo, anti-abortion people, I got you what you wanted.
I got Roe overturned.
Now shut the fuck up because you're hurting us in the elections.
So just be happy that I'm trying to turn women into broodmares.
Don't beat your chest and scream about it too loudly.
Unfortunately, women can still vote in America and they seem to be pretty upset about the whole broodmare thing.
So if we can try to like not remind them about that, then maybe we have a better chance of winning elections and then further solidifying their broodmare status.
So yeah, that's like the real issue right now is the Republican Party supports only horrible ideas, but now they have to try to find a way to not remind people about They are stuck between a rock and a hard place, though, right?
Because their current strategy of attacking anything that's progressive or that paints the established power base in a bad light as, like, putting it under this woke label and attacking it, that is obviously not working for them.
And even Donald Trump is coming out and saying, like, hey man, maybe we should dial this shit back.
And, you know, you have these other Republican politicians that are just like, let's throw back on the woke stuff and start getting back to the issues people care about.
But like, the, you know, simply taking action against the actionable points, you know, your abortion, your, you know, it used to be gay marriage rights, your trans rights now, like that sort of stuff, is different than the way, like, If you only attack those actual points, then the stuff in the margins that spreads progressivism and like, hey, stuff could be better to the masses will get out there, you know what I mean, and get people talking, which is bad for the GOP.
It's great for society.
Uh, but, so, like, I could see them really freaking out over this, because their broad-spectrum approach of just trying to stamp out progressivism across the board, by labeling stuff woke and just tamping it down, isn't getting them enough votes to keep the machine running, but only attacking the actionable points, like, A, progress is really slow on it, and B, it just means that you can't focus your efforts into trying to stop people from spreading the good news.
So, it's looking good if you're on the winning... Sorry, the winning team is a bit of a stretch.
If you're on the team of rational, liberal thought, like we are, good for us.
We're so awesome.
Oh, we're the best.
We're truly the greatest.
And that brings us to our final question, as always, is what are you guys looking forward to?
Okay, go.
No, no, no.
Hey, you take the wheel by all means.
I'm looking forward to the Diamondbacks being in the World Cup Series or whatever it's called.
World Series.
Yes, the World Series.
Your Arizona Snakemen are there.
It's unfortunate that your friend who was going to get you to the NLCS is a Phillies fan, so now you don't have a... He didn't even get me in the game.
He didn't get me in the game.
For listeners, this was a boomer ass.
I know he's listening.
Couldn't transfer the StubHub tickets over and just couldn't get them over in time.
He was on customer service.
I was just waiting around like, am I getting these tickets?
We're having a laugh.
Dox this person immediately.
We'll send our loser fans to destroy them!
Yeah, so it's very funny, very funny for a journalist to not be able to get some tickets transferred.
Over.
I trust all your reporting.
It's a journalist!
I'm just kidding.
But I did not get to go to the fucking game.
But I watched the game last night.
Everybody's talking sports with me.
Even my Uber driver the other day was like, hey, you watching the games?
No, but I guess I will watch one.
And, uh, I didn't have the sound on last night, but, uh, I did watch most of it.
Um, that, yeah.
So has all of this given you, like, any actual interest?
Or are you just sort of riding the zeitgeist wave?
I'm just, I just want to, okay, so I think it's funny.
There's a, the last time the Diamondbacks won, as we mentioned numerous times over and over again, is they, they're the spoilers for the Yankees during the 2001 World Series.
Is that what it's called?
World Series?
World Series, yes.
Yeah.
So we were the spoilers for patriotism, which I find to be a little bit funny.
Um, and there's been an, I sent this article to Mike, but there was an article in our main paper here, the Arizona Republic, that was like,
if the Diamondbacks brought us hope back in 2001, can they do it again now that the
the world is in peril and it's like, retire.
Also, is there an implication that when the nation is at its weakest,
the Diamondbacks rise up to win a World Series?
Yeah, we can only do good when there's fog of war about, you know,
Wow.
Apparently.
But also, I just find that to be a funny Arizona interpretation of it, because I always thought we were perceived as spoilers, but in Arizona apparently it brought us hope.
Yeah, I guess war really drives your baseball team to victory.
So I have to ask, as a new Diamondbacks fan, what is your opinion on Israel?
Well, Baxter the Bobcat is going to negotiate peace negotiations, so I think that's what that means.
I think that's what that AZU Republic article meant.
We need to get an AI to make some of that art immediately.
What's his name?
Bugsy the Bobcat?
Wait a minute.
Baxter the Bobcat, I think, or something.
I don't know why it's a bobcat.
We have a snake.
Yeah, you just fucking, like, I glossed over it at first and then when my brain connected the dots I almost had an actual aneurysm.
Is the mascot for your baseball team, the Rattlesnakes, a bobcat?
Yeah, I don't get it.
I was just saying to Mike, like, this seems like some intro game fighting, because don't bobcats eat snakes?
Like, I feel like this is a bit of a, there's some hostility between them.
Yeah, I don't get it.
Even if it's not openly antagonistic, I think in terms of like the animal kingdom, they're not like bros.
Mike, explain why he's a bobcat again.
It's like, because ballpark baseball.
Yeah, it's because it's like, it's like Bank One Ballpark is B-O-B.
So they decided to, like, play off that anymore.
It's not called that anymore.
But when it was first called Bank One Ballpark at the start, they made the mascot based off of that name.
So they made a bobcat for Bob Ballpark.
So that's how they got D. Baxter the bobcat.
Are you telling me that if it was a mutual insurance life firm, we could have got the
hot milf?
It's called Chase Field now, so they need to change the name.
I don't know what to, but it's called Chase Field now, and it's not Bob.
It could be The Chaser, and it could just be a person who likes other people with voluptuous figures.
And they can creep on people in the stands for the one season before they get cancelled.
World Series.
I don't fully care at all.
But, you know, let's get on the hype.
Why not?
Let's have something to say during this segment.
I'm excited for the Diamondbacks being in the World Series.
Yes, the Arizona Snakemen are in the World Series fighting the Rangers of Texas.
So we basically have your slowly purpling state that is still full of Republican extremism battling literally one of the biggest cesspools of Republican extremism in America.
You're going down, Texas.
What up?
Yeah, I do like how much like the the world's current fastest man, according to track and field, Haley seemed very confused why our our baseball event is considered the World Series.
Yeah, that doesn't make sense, is it?
Hush, you're going to get canceled.
Don't say that.
They're going to come for you.
They're going to come for you just like they came for him.
I'm sorry.
No, this is a real thing that happened.
Some guy who just won a bunch of track and field records, he made the mistake of giving an interview.
He was just like, World Series or what?
There's only American teams playing in that thing.
And every athlete for any American sports team on the planet still had access to Twitter, was just like, I'm going to type in and say that this guy's an asshole, and here's why.
It's just like, oh buddy, you poor guy.
Everybody should be talking about how you're the next Usain Bolt, but instead this is all anybody wants to talk about.
Motherfucker, don't come after baseball!
Yeah, don't come after- Because he spoke the truth.
Yes, exactly!
American sports are incredibly, incredibly full of hubris.
Because we declare ourselves the world champions of our sports when it's like, as you just said, it's basically just America and a couple of Canadian teams playing in these things.
And they're like, what's that?
Football?
No, soccer.
And football's another thing.
Well, I mean, I will say that, at the very least, I don't think MLS has the temerity to declare the winner of our shitty soccer league the world champion, because I think they know they would get laughed out of the building for that.
But I'm pretty sure we're in the right, that the winners of the NBA are the best basketball team in the world.
The same with Major League Baseball, and the same with American football, because nobody else plays our brutal murder football form of sport.
Yeah I mean it's like it's certainly it's both accurate and like nobody's exactly wrong in that argument between this guy because like he's just like he's like yeah dude I'm like an Olympian when I go out there and I win my gold medal that says I'm the best of the world I'm competing against the world like I'm Like our village is literally like, there's like 50 languages there.
It's crazy.
Uh, and it's just like, okay, that does make sense.
But at the same time, it's like, I'm pretty sure that the, I'm pretty sure that the best MLB team could go to any other country that plays baseball, play against their best team and destroy them.
So, uh, in this situation, nobody's wrong.
It's just a good example of sometimes you need to not say a thing in front of a hot mic.
Right.
Or not even a hot mic, a mic that you know is on and somebody is asking you a pointed question.
You're just like, you know what?
I'm going to go ahead and make a lot of people really angry at me.
Folks that other people really like.
Athletes.
So what are you looking forward to, Al?
Man, I don't know.
I guess Halloween, just because I'd kind of like it to be done with.
It's been a very busy week, but unfortunately busy in a way that means that my social life is kind of cratered, because the people I normally associate with have had just like a ton of shit going on, and also a bunch of illnesses.
So I'll be excited for the month of October and the Halloween season, not because I dislike Halloween, but because I would sort of like to get back to a relative sense of normalcy in my social life.
And also that trivia should be pretty fun.
Happy for that.
I'm looking forward to the fact that if things break the right way for me, crossing my fingers and toes, I may be bequeathed a PlayStation 5 sometime in the next week or two, and then I'll be able to get on the Spider-Man 2 and the Baldur's Gate 3 tip and all that fun stuff.
Hoping that all these things that I'm... all these honey-coated tales and songs of celebration that are being sung to me break the right way and that that actually works out.
Nice!
Wow, that's great.
Yeah, I'm very excited for you.
I also forgot that my real answer is that I'm excited for all the honk-if-you're-horny content I'm going to be engaging in after this.
Honk honk!
All right, and on that note, I think it's time for us all to pile into a clown car and drive out of Hellworld for the week.
Thank you so much for listening.
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Speaking of which, thank you so much this week to our two most recent Beautifuler Baby, the Reverend Paleo Tectonics and Kelly.
I'm glad that I got Paleo Tectonics right on the first go.
I do know what that word is, but I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to spit it out correctly.
And I nailed it.
What a genius I am.
Anyway, thank you so much, Reverend Paleo Tectonics and Kelly, our two most recent beautifuller babies.
Welcome to the crib.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we totally understand.
There are innumerable ways you could do good with that money, but the one that we suggest every week is donating it to love146.org.
They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation, and that is apparently a thing that we need to fight against because the QAnon crowd certainly ain't doing shit about it.
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DJ Minimal Effort, no social media for them.
What a genius.
However, you can find our buddy Frosty, at FrostyVO, I believe, still on Twitter.
You can find the show, The Real Estate 2 Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O on Twitter.
You can find Mike Rains, of course, on Twitter, at PokerPolitics.
I am one of the very elite few who jumped ship to blue sky.
You can find me there, at Mysterious L. And you can find Haley, our most popular co-host yet.
Take that, Sarge.
I'm not actually sure if the data bears that out, but everybody seems to love her.
You can find her on various social media platforms at Arizona Right Watch, or AZRW.
So, for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hell World podcast, I have been one of your hosts, The Mysterious L, joined by our expert in all things Arizona crazy, Hayley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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