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Oct. 19, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:37:12

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #161: Jordan loses (again), Flynn upsets QAnon

This week we tackle Michael Flynn saying the military won't save America from Biden and how sad that makes QAnon. Also we cover the conspiracy theories around Damian Harris being injured, correct some details about the Tim Ballard story, and talk about Trump getting gagged. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	Thanks for watching.
	Content warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
	Arizona Right Watch.
	Hello, it is me, Arizona Right Watch.
	Hello, everybody.
	She made it.
	She's here.
	I made it.
	I'm here.
	I'm on time, definitely.
	We're doing this thing.
	Again.
	And I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle.
	Hello, my beautiful babies.
	Like 30 seconds into the podcast, already Mike has flubbed an intro and Hayley's cleared her throat into the mic.
	Pretty good.
	We're good.
	We're running hot.
	Somehow I managed to say beautiful babies and not beautifler babies, which is constantly the fuck up I do right at the top of the show.
	Just like kick open the door and fuck up right away.
	It's like that old, like, you know, what do you do if you get arrested?
	They tell you that you just gotta find the biggest guy, just fuck him up real good.
	Yeah, it's just like, set the expectation for the podcast real low by just fucking up right in the window.
	Boom.
	That's me.
	Yes.
	All of us.
	Yeah.
	Oh, we're here to make sure that people know that they are getting a crippling lack of professionalism.
	Dude, if you're gonna fuck up, why procrastinate?
	Just get it out of the way immediately.
	Start strong.
	Start strong with errors, nothing but errors, more mistakes, just... You know what?
	I think it's good for the podcast if we just end word on three.
	Ready?
	One, two, three.
	Yeah.
	Oh man, what we...
	Back in the day, we called the old Sarge Special, which is now... Yeah, he'll throw a joke to El, trying to get him to say something racist.
	Classic.
	You know, that was back when El World was good.
	When we covered Q-Drops and just, like, barely skirted saying racist shit because someone just was trying to fucking set me up for weird racist joke improv.
	I don't think he was doing it intentionally.
	I just think he didn't realize what sort of minefield he was frequently laying in front of me when he was... Anyway, what a guy.
	I don't set you up for jokes, I'm sorry.
	I'm not a... I don't... I'm sorry.
	No, that's... Well, it was very important.
	That's where we, as Hellworld, invented the no-end form of improvisation, where you shut down the other person's presupposition and just create your own, or just dismiss it out of hand and just go on your own path.
	Don't care!
	Yeah, nobody's more entertained by me than myself, so I'll frequently set myself up for a joke.
	I don't give a fuck.
	Dude, I'm playing solitaire over here.
	If you guys are with it, you're with it, but I don't give a shit.
	I mean, I think most people are that way, where your target audience is yourself.
	So if you're just crushing it, you're like, man, I'm so good at this.
	That has to be really jarring when you just think you're really funny, and you absolutely kill in your own mind.
	And then you go to an open mic night, and you just bomb.
	And you're like, wait, no!
	I'm so funny to me!
	How can you all not accept how funny I am?
	And everyone's like, no, you're so wrapped up in your own head, you don't get it.
	You're like, I'll talk about it on every social media.
	Every social media platform, I feel like that.
	Twitter, Blue Sky, and all that shit.
	I'm always just like, I'm out there, I'm killing it.
	I mean, not always.
	Nobody's 100%, you know?
	But frequently getting it there, free spicy joke, you know, whatever, good chuckles.
	And then no traction.
	And that, because, obviously, because nobody follows me, so why would they?
	I'm sorry for the fact that I'm hilarious, and that they shouldn't.
	But the thing is that, like, I'll see people on Twitter who have, like, You know, 1.2 million followers.
	They're way less funny than me.
	They just post more.
	They'll post 500 times a day.
	And like, you know, maybe two of them will rise to the level of above a C-.
	And it's just like, is that- Are you joke writing on the timeline?
	Yeah.
	Is it just like, is it all volume?
	Do you just, do you just really have to just throw all of it at the wall and just hope you go viral at some point?
	Because I'm a quality over quantity guy.
	Yeah.
	Even my dad jokes are great dad jokes, dude.
	I worked at a place that had a stage and normally it was for crappy cover bands, but sometimes there was nobody playing.
	So we had this guy that like thought he was funny who would go try to tell jokes.
	And it was like, Hey, what's the, the worthless, the worthless skin around the vagina called?
	A woman.
	Am I right?
	And it was like, sir, you didn't write these.
	And also these are bad.
	I don't get the impulse to, like, I don't know.
	I mean, it's... I feel like more people need their friends to tell them if they're not funny.
	Like, he went on stage and said that.
	It's like the confidence on that man, you know?
	And if it was like a dare or something, I could at least kind of understand it, but there's a chance that guy just thought he was funny.
	He thought he was funny, he thought he was funny.
	And his friends won't be like, hey dude, it turns out that you're not funny, so you should probably stop caring.
	What I love about that is like, that's like the biggest hack joke in the world.
	It's not even, it's not even anything.
	And this dude's like, my delivery, my panache, I'm just going to grab that mic and I'm going to kill.
	This is going to hit so different than it normally would from any other raging misogynist.
	You have no idea.
	People are just going to see me and be like, man, the cut of that man's jib, his delivery, so smooth.
	Nothing but chuckles.
	You just hear one divorced dad go, ha!
	Darn tootin'!
	Heard that.
	That bitch!
	Whoa, that guy's really into it, you know?
	It's so ridiculous.
	I just really enjoy that kind of stuff, where people just bomb spectacularly, and it's not their fault.
	It's the audience's fault for not accepting their genius.
	That's... Yeah, but that's only a problem if the person's not funny.
	Like, I'm hilarious, so when I'm upset that the audience is, like, not properly worshipping me, it's because they are fucking wrong!
	I don't get it when people are just like, yeah dude, you know it's a great show, Doctor Who.
	I'm just like, it's not though, and you're fucking wrong about that!
	And fuck you!
	You start to get all Kramer on them and N-wording?
	Yeah dude!
	N-word on three!
	One!
	One!
	No!
	The bit nobody saw coming.
	The recurring bit nobody saw coming from Hellworld.
	We're never getting no sponsors.
	Yeah.
	I mean, actually, some people would love to sponsor us.
	The countdown to Inward is sponsored by MyPillow, folks.
	You know, I'm skeptical.
	Hey, Mike Lindell, we haven't been tracking it because Mike Lindell's kind of irrelevant now, but every little bit of news you see about that man right now is Mike Lindell's world falling apart before his very eyes.
	Mike Lindell, totally fucked.
	So, hey Mike, while you still have a couple million dollars left, throw us a few pennies, just for no good reason.
	I mean, we're going to insult you, we're not going to talk good about you, but we can throw up a MyPillow link if we're going to get some ad revenue.
	Yeah.
	I mean, if you can give us an affiliate link and we can run people to that affiliate link and get money off of it, that's fine.
	Code world.
	Code word, hell world.
	Right, exactly.
	See, I don't know.
	If I'm going to sell it for my pillow, I want a big lump sum.
	I don't want like a slow trickle feed.
	I want people to just be like, ugh, my pillow?
	How dare you?
	And I could be like $3 million.
	That's how dare I?
	How dare you, sir or madam?
	Or neither?
	I want all his leftover inventory.
	Yeah, I think three million dollars might make you the owner of my pillow at this point.
	I mean, it's like, oh my god.
	That man, like, literally just crash-landed and then started to just keep digging.
	He was like, I have not hit, I have not drilled myself into the Earth's core and that's where I long to be.
	See, here's the problem with not having a lot of money already, like, for the show or us as individuals, is that It would have been hilarious to just have the money to buy out all of his overflow inventory as a liberal, and then just go online as not a grift, but as just like a, hey, liberals, I, a fellow liberal, bought out all of MyPillow's stock.
	Isn't that hilarious?
	Would you like a liberal, like, like a liberal revolution MyPillow?
	Well, it's half the price he was charging for it, and I bought it for pennies on the dollar, so everybody wins.
	You're Pillow now.
	Power to the people!
	Or Pillow.
	French Revolution?
	Yeah!
	You rebranded as Guillotine.
	Guillotine Pillow.
	Pillotine.
	Pillotine!
	Boom!
	It took me a while.
	We got there.
	It's awesome that we workshopped, I'm taking credit for it, but Elle workshopped that in like 15 seconds and got there.
	And I'm thinking of it, like, because when they guillotine people, your head would like fall into a basket, but instead, your head falls into a pillow!
	Yes, exactly!
	Exactly!
	Yeah, dude.
	See?
	But the problem is that I didn't have the like $400,000 or whatever to buy the rest of these fucking pillows.
	All your pillows, I want them.
	And then I'll just sell them on Twitter to fucking liberals and just be like, remember when Michael Lindell would sell these?
	Eh!
	Give your money to me!
	I will fund the revolution with this.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	God.
	The revolution will be elevised.
	See?
	This is why I'm such good friends with Mike Rades.
	Mike Rades has always acknowledged how funny I am.
	He's perfectly right there with it.
	And I would think that I'm just a narcissist if random people on the street didn't just stop to tell me that I'm hilarious when they can hear me talk.
	I don't know.
	Anyway, I'm done being narcissistic.
	Let's talk about QAnon and QAnon-related horseshit.
	With our first segment of the show, The Amuseboosh!
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
	Just kidding, I'm not done being narcissistic.
	What a great lead into the bouche.
	I'm incredible.
	It was good.
	No, it wasn't actually.
	Okay, amuse-bouche for this week, starting off with, apparently our buddy Flynn has made QAnon big sad this week, but I don't know why.
	Mike Rades, why is recurring person that we discuss on the show, Flynn, upset at QAnon?
	Did they not like the autotune?
	They didn't like the song?
	It was not his autotune, it was not his T-Pain impersonation that made them sad, but Michael Flynn... What the fuck are you guys talking about?
	The Freedom song we talked about last week.
	I didn't know he was in it because I still haven't heard it.
	I didn't know he was there getting out a drink.
	You really should give a listen.
	Just a quick little listen.
	I don't know about that.
	Just get to the Flynn part so you can hear him absolutely auto-tune to shit.
	He's just literally T-Pain.
	There's no difference.
	It's ridiculous.
	It's so bad.
	See, you're very rarely am I going to be enticed with how bad someone's saying is.
	If you were like, yo, you gotta listen to the Michael Flynn part.
	I mean, I hate the guy's guts and his message is terrible.
	It's so funny.
	I'd be like, oh yeah.
	His passion is what's funny about it.
	He's like so into the song the whole time and then it gets to him and he's autotuned to shit.
	It's so funny.
	I'm sorry, you shouldn't really watch it.
	But anyhow, Michael Flynn went on the X-22 Report, which is the weirdest podcast slash livestream slash whatever the fuck it is, because the host is still somehow anonymous, even though he gets guests like Michael Flynn.
	And he's had, um, Ron DeSantis cabinet members on the show.
	It's super weird how this guy.
	This week again.
	Oh, I'm sure she was.
	Oh yeah, of course.
	But she, she's low hanging fruit compared to these guys.
	But, um.
	So Dave had Flynn on and Dave gave him the bullshit about how the military is supposed to step in and save America from Biden and the deep state and Q said military is the only way and blah, blah, blah.
	And Michael Flynn was like super angry about it.
	And he was like, our military does not do things like that.
	Our military serves our duly elected government officials.
	The civilian government is like in control of the military.
	The military doesn't do this kind of stuff.
	So you need to just knock this off right now, Dave.
	Like you can't be talking this way because that's Banana Republic stuff.
	And, and Dave of the X-22 Report was just like, uh, and QAnon.
	He's implying that maybe patriots are not in control, which we all just know is total horseshit.
	from the movement. He's saying the military isn't going to step in and remove Biden by a military
	coup and all that good stuff. But the- He's implying that maybe patriots are not in control,
	which we all just know is total horseshit. How dare he? How dare he? How dare he?
	So you have a lot of people who are very upset, but on the other side of this,
	the one thing that a bunch of people who are trying to soothe all of QAnon's little feelings,
	trying to just pacify little Q babies and burp them a little and lay them down in their crib so
	they can sleep off their tantrums, is that Flynn would repeatedly state in this conversation with
	Dave was, The military follows the duly elected leaders of the civilian government.
	So the QAnon people were like, he kept saying duly elected, and he thinks that Trump really won.
	So he's saying that Trump's really still in power, and we're all good.
	It's cool, man.
	Flynn's speaking in code.
	Somebody feed the word duly into the Gematria machine.
	Yes.
	Dooley has to hit a million different things.
	It'd be so awesome if somehow Dooley also equaled Trump, which I know is impossible, but it would be incredible if it did.
	So weird.
	According to Gematria, Dooley elected leader also means Trump is Christ.
	That's weird.
	So strange.
	That would be the greatest thing ever.
	Oh my God.
	Yeah, and this is a part of a other underlying, like, rift inside of QAnon that's been going on for the past few months, where, I've talked about this all before, but In The Matrix, who runs his podcast with Spooky Groove and their little buddy, The Authority, the three of them have decided that Michael Flynn and Roger Stone are bad guys.
	They're black hats.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Turning on them.
	Yes.
	I mean, it's really funny.
	I'm waiting for the QAnon promoter that makes the ultimate swing and takes a shot at Trump.
	I mean, I know that's fucking impossible because the entire movement is based around him, but it would be super funny if someone actually did.
	But going at Flynn is now a thing, and every now and then I'll just see some QAnon promoter post a thing where, like, guys, we're here to bring unity and fight the deep state, and sowing division is bad.
	We shouldn't be doing this.
	And So there's a lot of kumbaya rally around Flynn versus, no, Flynn's a blackhead, he's a baddie, and I hate him!
	So it's good times all around, and this latest little dust-up between Flynn and Dave was delightful.
	I hope these people continue to make themselves sad and miserable, getting mad at their heroes not saying what they wanted to hear them say.
	Yeah, I mean, it's always a good day for us when these people are sad about anything, but especially so with their, like, you know, sadness with the sight of eating their own.
	I love watching them eat their own.
	Because they all suck, you know?
	So, anything that reduces their population in terms of, you know, metaphorically in terms of their relevance is good.
	And eating their young, as Trump said this week, where Trump repeatedly said Republicans eat their young.
	It's a horrible statement, but it's true.
	They eat their young, and no one in QAnon touched that with a 20-foot pole.
	If Obama or Hillary or anyone had ever talked about Democrats eating their young, oh my god, that clip would be played on a loop for the next month.
	They're rubbing it on our faces!
	Look at this triangle!
	You know what that means!
	Yeah, but Trump says Republicans need their young and no one's like, Oh, Trump's admitting the Republicans need the adrenochrome!
	They gotta get their chrome!
	So it's just great how they just avoid it when their infallible god emperor says absolutely the worst thing for their movement besides get vaccinated, which he's also said repeatedly.
	Yeah, I can't wait until somebody finds the Donald Trump, like, you know, Epstein Island Fastpass card with, like, his fucking picture on it.
	The punch card, like, on the 10th one, it's free.
	Yeah.
	Your 10th child is free.
	Yeah.
	And then, you know, because he's Donald Trump, he'd just be like, yeah, that's mine, whatever.
	And then all the people that love him would just be like, uh, we're just going to ignore that.
	That's not a thing.
	We love Trump.
	It's like, okay, good stuff.
	You fucking, you dum-dums.
	What a bunch of clouds.
	I'll finish real quick.
	I just put duly elected leaders in the Dramatria machine and it matches with QAnonymous.
	Whoa.
	Whoa.
	We're totally killed.
	There we go, see?
	We did it.
	The power of massaging letters and numbers in the language that you speak in a way that pleases your brain.
	So good.
	I mean, foolproof, really.
	Absolutely.
	How could you possibly refute it?
	Nope.
	Okay, moving on.
	Boosh style.
	It looks like not only is it football season here in the United States of America, folks, but that means it's also football conspiracy season.
	On top of it being Taylor Swift season, because if there's anything bigger than all of the NFL, I guess it's Taylor Swift.
	That's so funny to me.
	Anyway, Mike, what are Conspiracy Lunatics talking about this week as it pertains to the Hand Egg?
	So the National Hand Egg League had a football game featuring the Buffalo Bills, who last year, you might remember, had an incident where one of their players had a cardiac arrest on the field and almost died, and then he recovered and he's fine and he's playing football now, and everyone freaked out.
	Or didn't reclone, et cetera.
	Vaxxed?
	Vaxxed, yes, yes, you know it.
	Vaxxed and cloned, both of these things.
	I heard that.
	So this week, a Buffalo Bills player, Damian Harris, who used to be a New England Patriot, was injured and they had to get out the ambulance for him because he sustained a neck injury.
	Vaxxed?
	Oh yeah, it was there.
	There were people who, even though For an injury where they have to bring the ambulance onto the field and all that shit, this was as mild as it could be because Damien Harris literally gave a thumbs up while he was on the stretcher to let everybody know that he was okay and they were just like stabilizing his neck because that's the procedure.
	There were people that had said he had died on the field, which he gave a thumbs up!
	It's like the fencing response, but it's just a thumbs up before you perish.
	Yeah, that's just rigor setting in.
	You can't worry about that.
	That would kind of explain what was going on at the end of Terminator 2.
	I was always really confused about that scene, but it turns out that the robot was just going through rigor mortis in the lava.
	Yeah.
	They were declaring he was dead, they were bringing up vaccination.
	Some people brought up the fact that the ambulance had a Damar Hamlin flags in the back windows of it, which you kind of think that would be a thing that would happen because he's kind of the most famous player to be in an ambulance.
	It is kind of in poor taste that they're like his screaming, contorted face.
	But you know, tis the season!
	Yes!
	The thing about QAnon and the thing about conspiracy theorists is that it's never surface level.
	They always have to drill in the most ridiculous way possible to make their conspiracy theory as absolutely detail-filled and insane as imaginable.
	said the two Tamar Hamlin flags in the back window were two threes. That's 33. 33 is the
	highest level of the Freemasons. This was a messianic ritual to like harvest our pain
	and our sadness watching someone get injured on the field like this.
	Just processing emotion.
	Yeah, I mean, we're kind of intentionally not really going to talk about it too much this week,
	but I can think of at least one thing going on in the world right now that I believe probably
	contributes to more human pain and suffering than an NFL player being injured on the field.
	So, Masons, hey, get with it.
	I mean, Masons, get at me.
	Blow up my hotline.
	Have your people reach out to my people.
	If you need the human suffering, boy, howdy, I can get you there.
	Yeah, I haven't really delved into this section of conspiracy theories and insanity that much, but I've heard people describe negative emotions as quote-unquote the Loosh, L-U-O-O-S-H, Loosh.
	And they talk about how the bad guys harvest these negative emotions, this Loosh, to use it for their rituals and their demonic powers.
	And I'm just wondering, Does this, just running these like rituals in football stadiums, it seems like it would backfire a lot because I don't remember anybody else this season in the NFL needing the ambulance to take them off the field.
	So it's like, you're just running 16 or so rituals every week and most of the time 50,000 people are walking out of the stadium either going like, Yeah!
	Home team won!
	Way to go!
	Or there's like, no, home team lost.
	Kind of annoyed.
	And it seems like it's a lot of work to finally hit that one every, like, four months where a guy needs the ambulance.
	And you're like, yes, we finally get to get our sweet, sweet louche.
	We finally get a- Well, that's why they write all that stuff into the script, Mike.
	Oh, oh, right, right.
	Yes.
	I keep coughing up a louche right now, man.
	I can't stop coughing.
	The masons got to you.
	They filled you with the loosh.
	But unfortunately for the masons, we developed cough buttons.
	So now this podcast won't be giving them the sweet, sweet power they wanted from your hacking coughs.
	If we had let you be unmuted this whole podcast, the Eastern seaboard would have been able to be powered by Freemason energy.
	Herb with loosh.
	Yes, but instead, we're here to make sure that nobody can hear your 33 coughs over the course of the episode.
	Nice.
	Try, Masons!
	Yup.
	An organization that is so powerful, anybody can join.
	Yeah, pretty cool.
	The Freemasons, so secretive, there's a car in my neighborhood with a bumper sticker that says, to be one, ask one.
	So it's like, I'd literally just hang out in front of that guy's house one day and be like, hey, I'd like to be a Mason!
	And he'd be like, sounds good!
	So it's like, yup.
	I can grind.
	I can kill a lot of boars.
	I can be level 7 by the end of the week.
	I'm pretty confident I could do this.
	You'd level up pretty quick, I think.
	Yeah.
	I could get ready for the first dungeon, whatever that is.
	I can tank or heal.
	I'm good at all that.
	Range, DPS, solid.
	I don't think this should be that tough.
	I think I could make level 33 in a couple years.
	That wouldn't be that bad.
	And then you get to go on the raids and get the fat epics.
	That's what it's all about.
	Yeah, just like all the top-tier masons that you know about and all their powers.
	I wish the masons were cooler than they are.
	Lord knows I wish the masons were cooler.
	I want to live in a more magical reality, but it turns out that real Freemasons are not like National Treasure Freemasons.
	We have, like, one Mason that comes to my casino and just plays poker and he just sits there and he's quiet and loses a little money most of the time and just has a Mason's ring on.
	And I'm just wondering, like, is everyone who beats him in a hand of poker being, like, marked for termination or something?
	I mean... Yeah, fuck those people.
	He's filled with loosh.
	Alright, let's go ahead and move on to things that further disappoint us, aside from the Freemasons just being mostly sort of boring.
	They have bumper stickers.
	Yeah, and their symbol's pretty cool, I guess.
	You know, like a sextant or whatever.
	Anyway, Compass, whatever that thing is called.
	I don't know what the actual name for that is, because I'm a moron.
	Don't listen to me.
	Square and Compass.
	Square and Compass.
	There we go.
	But we're going to move on to something equally as disappointing as how boring the Freebases are, and that is Twitter.
	And I'm done calling it the former Axe.
	Fuck that place.
	It's Twitter until it crashes and burns.
	It's always been Twitter, baby.
	So Elon Musk, lunatic head of Twitter, has decided that now is the time to finally start charging people, all people, for the privilege.
	But only in select regions, if I saw the headline correctly.
	Anyway, for more info, over to Mike.
	So he's running a test program where new users of Twitter We'll have to pay a dollar to make their accounts be useful for tweeting and retweeting.
	And this is going to be rolled out in New Zealand and the Philippines, I believe.
	So I just don't understand why anyone would join this in order to get less functionality and basically be required to put your name and information on file with Twitter to get a service everybody else on Twitter is already using for free.
	And again, Elon's claiming this is to fight bots, which it's not because there's so many verified check marks on Twitter that are already bot run.
	And it's, it's, it's, it's absurd.
	I, Haley mentioned they're like, you have to pay a thousand dollars a month for a gold check mark.
	I have a gold check mark bot that follows me around on Twitter.
	It's ridiculous.
	So the idea that mild- That's wild.
	Like literally the first like on almost all my posts.
	A dedicated little bot.
	It's like the first like on almost all my posts is from this gold checkmark bot.
	It's so weird.
	It's like Poker Club International or something that just misread my name because it has the word poker in it.
	Oh, I see that one every time because it interacts with me when you tag me and stuff.
	And yeah, it's always the first one.
	It's so silly.
	Wow.
	Our most dedicated listener, the person who runs that Twitter account, is just like listening here, hearing you guys call them a bot, just sobbing.
	I'll pick good money to reply to you guys.
	I don't know how to bond!
	I'd pay a thousand dollars a month to be able to be the first person to do that!
	Yeah.
	Whichever Poker is the name of it.
	Way to go, Whichever Poker.
	We salute you.
	Online High Stakes Poker Club.
	That's its name.
	Way to go.
	Way to go, you guys.
	And hey, I'm excited whoever runs that bot has access to $1,000 a month to get that gold checkmark.
	And you do you until Twitter dies.
	But when Twitter dies, if you would like to reinvest that $1,000 a month, Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
	All bots welcome as long as they got money.
	Yes!
	Yes!
	Please!
	It's on your t-shirt.
	Yes!
	At $1,000 per month, we'll figure out a t-shirt for you.
	Yes!
	Yes!
	Hellworld's biggest fan.
	We will mail you that t-shirt.
	You know what?
	That's a guarantee to anybody listening.
	For $1,000 a month, you will get a t-shirt.
	Pick the shirt!
	It'll say, I spent $100 on the Hellworld Patreon and all I got was this crappy shirt.
	Yeah, thousand.
	Thousand, not worth it.
	Yeah, thousand, sorry.
	A hundred bucks don't get you nothing.
	Yeah, it gets you nothing.
	I'm sorry.
	That's tripping.
	Yeah, it's crazy.
	A hundred dollars a month will not get you nothing.
	That's true.
	It'll get you a shout out.
	Yeah.
	Somebody was just like, you know, I was going to donate a hundred dollars a month to those guys, but now they say we're going to get nothing.
	So fuck them.
	We have nothing to give except our love.
	Come back whichever poker, we're sorry!
	Poker will teach you poker.
	At a hundred.
	Yes.
	If you want to learn how to deal or play a game in the casino, I'll help you out.
	I'll be your personal tutor.
	I am shameless, so no problem at all on that front.
	Yes.
	Well, there we go.
	See, again, we have to take time out of our podcast every once in a while to remind the audience that we will sell out.
	It will happen.
	But yeah, and to tie it all back together, the selling out continues for anybody who's willing to pay for fucking Twitter.
	Like, even if the data comes back and they're just like, Elon, it turns out that nobody in the Philippines or New Zealand that wasn't running a bot scam of some kind was willing to pay for this privilege.
	So it seems like the program is bad.
	Is that going to stop him for a moment from just being like, no, program's not bad, you're bad, you're fired, and whoever is next in line, make sure to roll this out to everybody.
	Now everybody pays for Twitter.
	And then his CEO has to come out and say that it's a great idea and she loves it and Elon's the best, Elon number one, please don't fire me, Elon.
	I like my checks clearing.
	It would be great.
	Man, it is impressive how hard this man has driven this thing into the ground.
	I mean, and the best part about it is, is we have these delusional lunatics that are paying him for their checkmark.
	They're like, oh thank you Elon for saving Twitter.
	I actually saw someone posting about how Thanks to Elon allowing free speech on Twitter, he's probably saved the world because otherwise the mainstream media's narratives about Ukraine and Gaza would have been allowed to manifest and control the world.
	But instead, freethinkers were able to explain the real truth and undermine the deep state's narratives.
	So we're totally winning the information war now.
	So everything's great.
	It's just For sure.
	There's no misinformation or disinformation going on the timeline right now whatsoever, and people aren't absolutely having their brains melted on the timeline in real time.
	No, no.
	No, thank God that's not happening.
	Including, like, legit journalists.
	Nope, nothing like that whatsoever happening.
	There's no, you know, confusion happening right now or anything.
	You know who Elon brought back, or X brought back, Twitter brought back?
	There's a Turning Point representative here named Jake Hoffman and he was banned from every like basic social media platform like Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and all that because he was running a bot farm for Turning Point USA that was employing teenagers to Spread disinformation on the timeline and he was just brought back yesterday to Twitter.
	Excellent, excellent.
	Yep, fighting the bots.
	Working as intended.
	Everything going smooth.
	So good.
	Yeah, I mean, nobody should be on Twitter anymore, but, you know, that's everybody's personal cross to bear.
	But if you're one of the 20 people that read my Blue Sky post, you know that I was already talking about how people need to just, it's like, what the fuck is anybody still doing on Twitter?
	It's like there's no good fight to be fought there anymore.
	The person in charge of it has made it clear that they're going to ride it into the ground.
	They paid $44 billion to destroy the thing you love slowly.
	And no amount of you, like, it's privately owned.
	You're not, like, fighting.
	You can't fight the system.
	He is the system, man.
	Like, he just gets to do what he wants.
	Like, I see a lot of journalists say, like, oh, you know, our platform is here and this is where, like, information happens in real time and the news happens in real time.
	It's like, yeah, because that's because you're here.
	That's because you're literally fucking here.
	Yeah, sucks to suck.
	Find a new place to fucking go.
	You have to move on.
	Everybody has to move on collectively for the place where live news happens in real time now happens elsewhere.
	You have to be part of that move.
	for that to happen.
	Also I think it's just kind of like odd again I keep bringing this up like every episode that like journalists are staying on there because it's like can you really fairly report on Twitter and Elon can your outlet fairly report on him because it's like you know he banned the Elon Jett account and other accounts that have been critical of him.
	Like, I don't know if you're getting exactly, you're not, your information is not being fairly published, and Elon's kind of like your editor, in a way, when it gets put on Twitter.
	I just think it's kind of an odd place.
	Like, you know, even if you're the greatest journalist in history, you're still like, Courting danger by like posting your shit on Twitter and
	then the people that see that the immediate first shit They're gonna see underneath that is gonna be
	responses from Elon bootlicking paid goons Just be like no, maybe all Muslims should be killed
	actually and here's why and it's just like oh, okay cool Well sick, I'm so glad that you got to post your really
	insightful think piece on Islamophobia just to have the next 400 comments
	Underneath it that anyone is going to be able to read because who's gonna scroll for two minutes to get to the
	real stuff It's just gonna be paid goon bootlicks
	Agreeing with the worst aspects of humanity. So, you know, how about just I
	I know it sucks, and it's annoying, and it might affect your bottom line, but maybe fuck off from Twitter?
	I don't know.
	I'm just a guy who already did that.
	What do I know?
	Yeah, I think that's one of the things that's really annoying about Twitter now is that you basically have the... If you get big, if you actually make it to the point where you have some level of having a real platform beyond Twitter, where you're seen on TV maybe once every month or so, Or you've published a book or two and stuff like that.
	So once you actually have the ability to actually have a platform, Twitter is so goddamn worthless for you because your only two options are either a not allow people to reply, which basically just means you're Making a substack post, pretty much.
	It's really no different than any other sort of non-interactive form of social media.
	Or you have to post, and then watch your post immediately be attacked by those fucking piranhas.
	Immediately be attacked by all these fucking shitheel weasels who are going to...
	Just call you a deep state shill.
	They're going to call you a piece of shit.
	They're going to promote whatever racist misogynies, hatred, bigotry that you were lashing out against.
	It's really a no-win game.
	I truly don't understand how anyone who... If you actually have an alternative where you can get any eyeballs to you, I don't understand why you're on Twitter at all.
	I just truly don't understand it because There's no win.
	There's no win with a post on Twitter.
	You're just fucking kicking a hornet's nest full of shitheads.
	And you can literally just have a website.
	Hey guys, this is my website.
	Just go to my website.
	God.
	God, Twitter sucks so much.
	It's okay.
	And for the record, I'll defend Mike's honor and say that I know that Mike Raines is on Twitter still, but Mike Raines likes, like, you have to go where the shitheels are if you want to be able to poke them with a stick to get them to fight you online.
	If anybody has a leg to stand on, I guess it's kind of Mike Rains.
	But let's go ahead and move on.
	I believe I'm not overreaching when I say I speak for the show when we say that trying to charge for Twitter is stupid.
	It would have been stupid back when Twitter was good.
	It's certainly stupid now that Twitter sucks.
	So I don't know why.
	Don't know why you would do that.
	Don't know why anybody would pay.
	If I find out you're doing it, I'm going to judge you.
	Hashtag bring back gatekeeping.
	Okay.
	So, moving on.
	Next boosh topic.
	We have a Tim Ballard correction from a listener?
	That can't be right.
	First of all, that implies we have listeners.
	Second of all, that implies we were wrong.
	I'm not convinced either of these things are true.
	Yeah, so I had a listener tell me that I got a little bit of the Tim Ballard story wrong from last week because he didn't go to a... You fuck!
	How dare you?
	Are you spreading disinformation?
	I did.
	I spread disinformation on Twitter with that sort of disinfo spread, you fuck.
	Yes, that's me.
	I'm the worst.
	And I did this intentionally.
	I wanted to get this wrong in order to sow discord amongst people.
	Sometimes disinformation is necessary.
	I heard that once.
	I'm very much like Q that way.
	Me and Ron Watkins are pretty much the same person.
	But they wanted to bring it to my attention that Tim Ballard, he employed his psychics on failed expeditions to save children.
	He did not employ a psychic to declare that he would one day be senator and then president and then basically the right hand of Christ.
	Actually, what he did was he would go to get ketamine treatments, which I guess means just getting fucked up on ketamine.
	He would go do drugs.
	Okay.
	He would go do drugs and then have a scribe come with him, and he would talk to the dead prophet Nephi, and after he would talk to the dead prophet Nephi, he would issue these prophecies that the scribe would then write down, and that the scribe wrote down that those prophecies that he got from the dead prophet Nephi were that he would become senator, president, and then ultimately the Mormon prophet, and to usher in the second coming of Jesus Christ.
	Well, dude, eggs on our face.
	We thought that it was just some bunk psychic that gave us the prediction that he was going to be the king of Earth.
	But it was actually a scribe.
	Well, no, it was a scribe.
	On his ketamine trips.
	Prophecies of a dead prophet.
	Yes.
	Dead prophet Nerfy or whatever.
	Yes.
	I'm so sorry that we put out the wrong information and said it was a psychic and not a ketamine trip and scribe.
	Yes.
	When Mike launched into that, I was like, man, we riffed pretty hard on that.
	So it is kind of a bummer that if that never happened, because I was worried Mike was going to be like, a psychic never said that.
	You know who really said that was nobody.
	That was not a thing.
	But no, it turns out that it was just, the correction is that shit is even more buckwild than you could have imagined.
	I love this listener.
	Thank you, listener.
	Yeah, thank you.
	I mean, hey, I don't mind any sort of correction, you know?
	If you're willing, like, we're going to get a lot of shit wrong, because again, we're a comedy show, not like a news show.
	We're just kind of talking.
	Uh, if people want to correct us that, uh, you know, that they'd fucking bully on you, uh, Mike is a sellout and can be found on Twitter at Pokepot.
	Uh, yeah, sorry.
	Oh, and I have here, uh, I have here another correction.
	Uh, it turns out that Tim Ballard is not, uh, a pedophile.
	He's an ephemophile.
	Thanks for the correction, actual listener.
	That's hilarious.
	It's like, again, just what he does.
	Yeah, sorry. I apologize for the prevalence.
	It's a comedy show.
	Thanks for the correction, actual listener. That's hilarious. It's like, again, just what you've done.
	That's my favorite.
	The listener is Brian Schott.
	I'm trying to get a shot.
	Schott happens.
	He follows us.
	Man, what a name.
	Schott happens.
	There we go.
	Well done.
	Schott happens.
	And speaking of just when you thought a thing couldn't get crazier, it's time for everybody's favorite Boosh segment, sub-segment of the week.
	And that's Haley's Arizona Craziness Corner.
	Haley, what's going on in the world of Arizona madness this week?
	Is this really people's favorite?
	I don't think it is.
	It's people's favorite, baby.
	I mean, you certainly bring more listeners to the show than I do.
	When you showed up, you had an install base of people that want to hear what you say.
	I showed up.
	I crept out of the shadows as a nobody, and then I elevated myself to still a nobody.
	Thank you, listeners.
	We love you.
	Yes.
	Thank you, Elle fans.
	We love you more.
	Yeah.
	Oh, don't get me wrong.
	I do love our listeners, but I mean, like, when I abandoned my mighty 450-ish followers on Twitter because I'm a hero, I gave them all away, and only 20 of them followed me to Blue Sky.
	So now I have a platform of 20 people on my Twitter.
	I just want to call on everybody.
	Blue Sky, ask me for a code.
	I mean, for honestly most of it, most of it's currently I spent bitching about how Blue Sky is just full of furries and I'm not really a furry so I'm just like mad confused as to why that was- That's why you're not getting followers because you're pissing off the key base.
	Was Blue Sky a furry thing before it happened to be like the new Twitter?
	Clicking on too much furry stuff.
	I don't want to trample on their space if that's like literally how that went down but like at the same time like dude Tumblr has been a thing for a mad long time and I don't think that blue sky is like furry haven so I don't know why my discover page is just a bunch of furry cocks like literally just dude just like here's my latest piece and it's just like a giant muscly fox just spraying ropes of jizz like all over some slightly smaller muscular cat and I'm just like every other post really And then it's just like, oh sweet, sandwiched in between that, it's just like, here's my take on Israel.
	And I'm just like, alright.
	This is the craziest fucking site I've ever been on.
	This shit is like a fever dream.
	Sorry.
	Anyway, Arizona craziness.
	I turned on the podcast and we're ranting about Blue Sky.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm laughing.
	I want to love Blue Sky.
	I really do.
	I want the people to go there to make it great.
	And the furries are invited, but it's not your place.
	Anyway.
	It is.
	It's fine.
	It is your place, furries.
	I love you.
	Anyways, Arizona, this is, I mean, this is a comedy podcast, but everybody knows Turning Point USA, right?
	I've talked about that a lot.
	Charlie Kirk's organization slash, you know... Hate group.
	We could call it a hate group.
	It's technically not tracked as a hate group by, like, the Southern Poverty Law Center, but I think they should probably get a little update on that.
	Um it's headquartered here in Arizona so unfortunately we get the brunt of Turning Point USA nonsense.
	Charlie has a big fancy mansion here that's like in a gated country club you know community where it costs like half a million dollars a year to just be part of the country club.
	Um so you know he's uh living the high life in Arizona, but he, so all of his like goons come here to, you know, make Tik Toks and kiss the ring, kiss the ring.
	Uh, you know, his wife is like a former miss Arizona.
	Um, who used, who worked for turning point USA.
	There's like legislators here who worked for turning point USA and then moved on to office.
	So we got to deal with like a lot of them.
	Um, They run front lines now, which is kind of like just a right wing, I'm going to confront you or go film like protests and make it look scary on the timeline kind of content.
	It used to be Drew Hernandez that was the front line, like Filmographer.
	He's the guy who he got footage during the when Kyle Rittenhouse murdered those people.
	So he got kind of famous after the trial because he was part of the trial and part of that big Kyle Rittenhouse rally that was here sponsored by Turning Point USA.
	So he's moved on to bigger and better things like yelling on Rumble and being incredibly racist on there.
	Now it's this guy Caelan De Almeida who used to work with Annie Ngo and, you know, similar content.
	Just like, let's go find a leftist with blue hair and put her on the timeline and she'll be Doxin Oblivion and that'll be fun, right?
	So he's been here- Since you have blue hair, loser.
	You get doxxed.
	If you blew your locks, you're getting doxxed!
	Boo-boo!
	Yep, that's the end.
	You know the tagline.
	So, Kaelin's been here making quote-unquote content for Turning Point USA where it's just like, I'm gonna go find a professor that does drag and harass him and call him a pedophile and then put it online.
	Or I'm going to go do that at a school board meeting or whatever.
	So that's how he's getting content here.
	Well, they went a little too far this last week.
	They tried to do that at Arizona State University, which is like the, yeah, it's the biggest, uh, like college here in Arizona.
	Um, and they're at home with the shocker.
	Is their logo really the Shocker?
	That's when we have games, this is how they do it.
	Honestly, I'd much rather that than the racist shit that goes down with the people that are still rocking the tomahawk chop.
	It's like Sun Devils, and it's supposed to be like a pitchfork.
	Yeah, totally.
	Yeah, it's not a Shocker.
	So anyway, there's a professor there who He's incredibly popular.
	He is actually, like, in the English department, so a lot of students get him, but he also has, like, classes on LGBTQ studies because he is one of the co-founders of Drag Story Hour here in Arizona, which is like Turning Point USA's, like, we must, we must destroy him.
	We must gay bash him.
	Which is what happened.
	They came to the school and they met him outside of his classroom and they didn't introduce themselves.
	They weren't like, hey we're Frontlines, we're reporters.
	They were just like, hey David!
	And they like walked up all tough and they were like, why do you like little boys?
	Why do you want to turn this country into a country where we sodomize little boys?
	And they're like bumping into him off the pathway while he's trying to get to like his car.
	They met him outside his classroom and David puts his hands up.
	Professor David Boyles puts his hands up to like block the camera out after they've been like harassing him for like five minutes straight and Kalen De Almeida straight up from behind body tackles the professor and knocks him to the ground, cuts his head open, They take off, they fled the scene, because they were, you know, they did something legal.
	Filming your battery of someone is great, a great tactic legally.
	There was also overhead footage from, like, the campus that just, it got every angle.
	Like, these guys, like, straight bodied this professor.
	And, you know, Charlie Kirk immediately, like, posted the video but cut out the end.
	They cut out the part where the professor gets tackled.
	And they're like, oh, when he assaulted us, when the professor assaulted us, the wire in our camera cut and it just, it, we could, there's no more footage.
	And it's like, wire in your camera?
	What fucking year is this?
	And yeah, when you see the overhead footage from the ASU Police Department, you can see that they're still recording after the incident.
	They just cut it because they fucking assaulted a professor.
	Well, they didn't know that the wire was broken.
	Oh yeah, for sure.
	For sure.
	I often, when my iPhone's camera fritzes out, I go, oh man, the wires!
	The wires in my iPhone!
	I just gotta jiggle it.
	But yeah, Kirk's going on like, you know, he's full on like, oh, what Kaelin did was correct.
	He was just exercising his right as a reporter to ask questions.
	And he was like, the claims that he assaulted this professor are a total lie.
	I think he's Jussie Smolletting the whole incident.
	Like, there's like multiple fucking footage, there's footage of it, you know?
	And also, that would imply that he paid the dude who tackled him or whatever.
	Yeah.
	That's what Jussie Smollett did.
	Jussie Smollett paid to organize that whole thing, allegedly.
	And then they were also like, it's not a hate crime, but look at him, he's in a dress.
	This guy's wearing a dress.
	Like, Kirk kept saying that.
	Like, this... person?
	That was how he worded it.
	He was like, person?
	He's wearing a dress.
	Like, you know, we're allowed to hate crime, I'm right?
	He's in a fucking dress.
	Oh, man.
	Like, a lot of conservatives, they don't want the smoke that they're asking for when they're just like, hey, if you look a way that I do to be stupid, I get to punch you.
	I know.
	It's just like, oh boy, I've seen a lot of goony Republicans I'd like to tune up just for looking real dumb.
	Look at his face!
	Exactly.
	How about every Nazi, you know?
	Outside of their uniforms, those people always just look like stupid, punchable goons.
	Anyway, let's go ahead and finally transition from our Arbusch segment to our headline news segment for the week, shall we?
	It's time for Q's in the News!
	From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Q's in the News!
	Now our listeners at home, they might be thinking, man, that Boosh segment, that took like a hundred fuckin' years.
	Like, why even bother having a pre-headline news segment if you're just gonna talk about that, I'll show.
	And, uh, sometimes that just happens because we let it get away from us, but this week it's sort of on purpose.
	Because for those of you who are alive and on Earth, you might notice that the headlines this week have been dominated by a bunch of horrible shit transpiring.
	Uh, in and around the Middle East between Israel, Palestine, and Hamas, and we're just not really super qualified to talk about that, and also there's not really a Q angle to it, aside from the stuff we've already discussed last week.
	Maybe next week there will be, I don't know.
	Yeah.
	But this week we just sort of wanted to avoid it and so there's not like a ton of news to discuss but there are a couple of juicy tidbits that we're going to get into.
	And of course the biggest non-war between Hamas and Israel news in the United States this week is centered around our good boy Jim Jordan.
	What a good boy!
	What a good boy in his windmill slam dunk entry as House Speaker.
	He just, he nailed it and crushed it and they're moving on.
	And for the victory lap, I'll throw it over to Mike Rains.
	Mike, how does it feel for the Conservatives to have achieved such a great and decisive victory with Jim Jordan in the seat as the Speaker?
	It hasn't happened yet for him, and not looking like it will.
	So yeah, our boy Jim Jordan, we just finished the second vote as of this recording, and he managed to get under 200 votes this time for Speaker.
	He basically could not lose more than four Republicans in order to not lose this vote, and he managed to go from losing 20 of them to losing 22 of them this time around, as people start to remember who he is.
	Yeah.
	Oh, my God.
	What the fuck?
	Yeah.
	So basically, the big thing you need to know about Jim Jordan is that A, he's not a legislator.
	He doesn't legislate.
	He has no bills passed in his 16 years in Congress.
	He literally exists only to run to Fox News and to talk shit about liberals and to grandstand in hearings and not wear a suit jacket and all that good stuff.
	And beyond his sparkling lack of legislation and actual work at his job, we also have the
	fact that he is most famous for the fact that he probably covered up massive sexual assault
	in Ohio State because there was a doctor named Richard Strauss.
	And Richard Strauss basically assaulted literally every male athlete that was in his field of
	vision during his long time at Ohio State.
	And there are many wrestlers who were on the team that Jim Jordan was an assistant coach
	of who claimed they went to Jim Jordan and was like, yo, dude, this guy is doing some
	This is unacceptable what this doctor is doing in his quote unquote treatments of us.
	And according to those wrestlers, Jim Jordan just swept us under the rug.
	He just ignored them.
	And What makes this super wild is, again, this is basically the main thing Jim Jordan's known for, if you don't like him.
	If you like him, because he owns the libs and he talks and he's loud and yelly.
	But when he was nominated in the first vote for Speaker, the woman that nominated him was like,
	Jim Jordan's hardscrabble life is one where he has learned lots of tough lessons
	throughout all his years, from this place to that place, to the wrestling mat.
	And when she said the term, the wrestling mat, you could literally hear a bunch of Democrats gasping
	and going, oh, wow, really?
	You're gonna bring up Jim Jordan's time as a wrestler and a wrestling coach as a positive for the man?
	Holy shit.
	And so, yeah, this...
	This is wild.
	Also, Jim Jordan went to Donald Trump for a pardon.
	He was part of the, when Donald Trump told his minions, just say we won the election, me and the Republicans will figure out how to make that work.
	He listed Jim Jordan as quote unquote, a fighter.
	Jim Jordan refuses to acknowledge that Joe Biden is the duly elected president of the United States, which we'll have to run through the Dramatria machine to see what that means.
	But, um, Basically, this guy is just a MAGA extremist.
	He's part of the Freedom Caucus with Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert.
	They might have kicked Marjorie out, I don't remember.
	But basically, this guy's a nutball of the highest order, and the fact that Republicans are even nominating him is terrifying.
	But enough Republicans have said, no, this guy is going to kill us if we make him the Speaker.
	He's never fundraised a penny in his life.
	He's in an ultra-safe red district, so he'll never have to know what a competitive race is like.
	Basically, the money people in the Republican Party are just like, no, we don't trust him.
	He'll cost us all the Biden districts we won in 2022.
	Hard pass on this guy.
	So.
	He's crashing and burning.
	This is excellent.
	QAnon is furious.
	He's their boy, which, again, he's mostly known for covering up sexual assault and QAnon is all about saving the children and the satanic criminal pedophiles that run the world.
	And it's like, no, then you should hate Jim Jordan.
	Jim Jordan's literally a pedophile enabler.
	He's literally a sexual assault...
	Someone is in favor of that.
	He let a guy sexually assault.
	I believe that the article I read said that he, over 150 incidents of him molesting or otherwise inappropriately touching someone, and 41 rapes that Richard Strauss was accused of by the independent commissions that investigated into this.
	Strauss committed suicide in 2006, I believe, so that's why he was never brought to justice.
	So, but yeah.
	It's really wild that the people that care so much about that stuff love themselves some Jim Jordan.
	Jim Jordan, their man for the job.
	So yeah.
	He just tells it how it is, you know?
	Yes, yeah.
	And the one last funny thing in all of this is that there are QAnon promoters out there who are holding out hope that all this all this whirly gigging and fuzzy buzzing is just a way to sneak Donald Trump into the speakership at some
	ill-defined point that in another week or two, America is going to be like,
	Oh man, who can finally win this speakership?
	Who will save us from this discord?
	And in will stroll our orange daddy and Speaker Trump is going to happen.
	So yeah, it's, it's all good for these people.
	It's all good for everybody.
	America is doing great.
	I love those people that think that Donald Trump would accept a downgrade, that he would show back up and be in politics for a demotion.
	Yeah, right.
	Mike, you should be speaker.
	Oh, I nominate myself to be speaker.
	Seconded, I guess.
	I don't know.
	I don't really care.
	Motion carries.
	Mike Rains.
	Boom.
	Mike for speaker.
	My first act would be to resign and somehow appoint Hakeem Jeffries to speakership.
	He actually wants the job, so God bless, give it to him.
	But yeah, I just... This is so funny that these people... The old saying was, these idiots could fuck up a two-car parade.
	But they really can.
	They really are doing it.
	Like, this is...
	One of our mutual friends in one of our group chats put it in a pretty succinct way where he's just like, conservative Republicans don't seem to realize that they're in a two-party, like their one party has become two parties now and they just haven't woken up to that fact yet.
	Yeah, exactly, exactly.
	I mean, this is something that is so funny when people are like, I hate that America's a two-party system, we need multiple parties and blah blah blah.
	The two-party system is literally what Elle and our friend said.
	You do have a bunch of different parties inside the parties.
	Like, there are milquetoast centrist Democrats in the Democrat Party, and then you have AOC, and you have hard leftists.
	But the whole point is that in order to actually govern, those smaller parties have to get together and form coalitions.
	That's basically what we have on both sides.
	But right now, the Republican coalition is between like, quote unquote, moderate Republicans and MAGA Republicans, and they're figuring out that they actually can't coexist.
	They actually cannot work together.
	We have this Congressman Buck who's going on Fox News every five minutes and he's just like, until one of these pricks admits Biden won the election, I ain't voting for none of them.
	And it's like, guess what, Congressman Buck?
	You're never going to get a speaker you want then.
	Cause holy shit.
	The idea that anyone running for speaker would admit to the fact that Joe Biden won the election.
	What are you on Mars?
	Are you out of your fucking mind, buddy?
	I love the actual crazy pills our country is on, where that is a point of contention.
	Three years into Joe Biden's presidency, we have other lawmakers that have been elected by the people that will just refuse to acknowledge that he won that election.
	They're just like, no, that didn't happen.
	And it's just like, OK.
	This is super great.
	Once again, I'm really jazzed about the Electoral College and I think it's super great that my vote counts for exactly as much as a lot of other people's.
	Just kidding, it counts for a lot less because I don't live in Wisconsin or whatever.
	Yeah, that's basically going to be our new Kickstarter project.
	We'll be just moving me and Elle to Arizona so we can just force multiply our votes along with Hayley so that we can help Biden carry Arizona and thus the presidency.
	I just checked my Blue Sky and look who just followed me, a furry account.
	Of course they did.
	It's a sexy furry.
	It's a sexy buff furry.
	Yeah, I mean, yo, I'm not kidding.
	Those people, they're very entitled on that website.
	They seem to think that that is their personal dog park or whatever.
	Look at the banner.
	It's really buff.
	And again, if that is what that site used to be for, if anybody would like to educate me to that fact and point me to some receipts, I'll be happy to leave the platform.
	Because I'm not a furry and I don't care about androgynous.
	I don't think it was.
	I think it just started.
	It's in beta still.
	It was never...
	Yeah, I'm just saying, dude, being liberal means hedging your bets a lot and being willing to admit when you're wrong and just being like, hey, if I'm fucking it up, tell me and I'll apologize.
	But also, like, I'm not liberal enough to the point where I'm just like, I'm sorry, I think furries are fucking weird.
	I think you're fucking weird.
	I think a lot of stuff is weird.
	I'm not telling you to do- I'm not supporting you.
	I also support them.
	Fucking be weird.
	But like, look, don't act like it's normal.
	Like, you know what I mean?
	Own your kink is what you're saying.
	Also, for the record, I don't see a lot of furry art.
	Not all furries are doing it for sexual reasons.
	Some just want to be dogs.
	I mean, that's your opinion.
	And you know, and you're entitled to it, and I love that opinion for you, but let's just say it's not shared by 100% of the people on the show.
	1000%.
	I mean, and part of that is what I'm getting into is like, I don't see a lot of furry art that's not just like, Giant, shredded, like, the Adonises, the most pinnacle, like, I don't see a lot.
	Those people don't seem to really care about representing body types a lot of the way.
	They'll be like, this is my daddy furry, and it's like Fat Thor, where it's just Liam's head's worth wearing a fucking fat suit, like, just like, it's Chris Hemsworth with a punch!
	He's so fat!
	Shut up.
	If it wasn't a sex egg, you'd be fucking drawing ugly furries.
	I don't see ugly furries ever.
	Draw some fucking uggos.
	Show me some uggo furries with little dicks.
	There you go.
	There's your call to action on Blue Sky.
	Let's have some more representation of the furries.
	I think Frederick Brennan's fursona is pretty, uh, like, he's out of sh- it's a, it's a heavyset furry, so Frederick Brennan actually does- There we go, dude, if you're about that life, then bad respect, you know what I mean?
	But like, I'm just saying, if it's not a sexual thing, then why are all of them just, why, why are all of them shooting huge ropes of just, like, jizz all over my feed?
	Where are these wholesome furries?
	Zootopia?
	You ever seen Zootopia?
	That's a furry movie.
	I saw Zootopia, but what makes it a furry is the fact that people see it and they want to fuck those characters!
	I know.
	I watched it as a Disney movie because it was about talking animals, and then what changes a Disney movie to a furry movie?
	Guys want to fuck you!
	The internet.
	I've actually never seen it, and I can't because I've only seen the worst horrors of Zootopia.
	Oh yeah, dude, I've seen that incredibly in-depth, crazy Zootopia fanfiction with, like, yeah.
	I've seen it.
	I've seen it, yeah.
	But, like, you know, like, it's... and it's incredible, like, in terms of, like, artistry, but it's also just really strange.
	Anyway.
	Maybe Blue Sky is the furry social media platform because we can't seem to talk about one without talking about the other.
	Okay, let's get into our last news topic for the week because it's a real small one relative to all the other stuff, and that is making Trump gag.
	I mean, sorry, Trump has a gag order.
	I don't know.
	It just says Gag and Trump here.
	What's up with Gag and Trump?
	Yeah, what's going on?
	Yeah, so when not talking about Republicans eating their young and admitting to the fact that Republicans are adrenochrome junkies and also babbling incoherently about the terrorist organization Hamas, which is, I believe, a food and not an actual terrorist organization.
	Donald Trump has been hit with a gag order by the judge in the January 6th case because Trump would not stop talking shit about the judge, about Jack Smith, about all kinds of people.
	So basically the judge was just like, look, you can talk shit about general topics because
	we'll weed out that problem when we select the jury.
	We'll figure that out.
	That won't be that big of a deal.
	But except for Mike Pence, who's running against you and therefore is a fair political target
	for you, you're not allowed to talk shit about any witnesses and you're not allowed to talk
	shit about Jack Smith or me or anyone else involved in the prosecution of you.
	And while this was all going on, Trump's lawyers were just like, oh yeah, by the by, we would really appreciate it if you would move this case to after the election.
	And the judge response to that was, no, that will not happen.
	This trial will start in March of 2024.
	That is a firm deadline that we're going to get.
	I believe it's March 4th, 2024.
	So it's like a hard, she's like, she was not moving off that deadline.
	Like the case will happen on that date.
	Mark the calendars!
	Yes.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Hellworld going to New York!
	Yeah, let's take a trip!
	Yeah, we'll get press passes.
	We'll be credentialed.
	We'll be credentialed in the courtroom.
	Until they listen to even a single episode of the show, they're just like, wow, you guys say on your show all the time that you're a comedy show and you're not a journalist, so no press pass for you.
	You know, I've had an article.
	I've had articles before, okay?
	I've written for Talking Points.
	Memo.
	But that's Hayley.
	That's Hayley independent of Hellworld.
	Hayley can get a press pass.
	Hellworld cannot.
	I'll use my one article credentials.
	My one official article credentials to be like, excuse me, these guys are with me.
	Hey, well that's all these fucking news websites want to do it for us, the reader, you know?
	They're just like, here's one article, after that you gotta pay.
	You guys could be my muscle.
	We'll just pretend you're my security.
	Absolutely!
	Oh god, I have to wear an earpiece at work.
	I'll do that.
	I'll wear a suit, I'll have an earpiece in, I'll be part of your muscle.
	Absolutely.
	Can I be your fat instead?
	Because that's what I call my wheelhouse.
	This is Mike, he's my muscle, and this is Al, he's my fat.
	How's it going?
	My ying and my yang.
	Is it whenever I walk it just makes a tuba sound?
	Yeah, so I've seen QAnon promoters, basically they've been photoshopping angry Trump tweets calling Jack Smith a thug or a motherfucker or whatever.
	And they're like, Boss, we know that you can't say these things, so we'll say them for you.
	We got your back, Trump.
	We got your back, daddy.
	And the funniest thing in that order was Trump is not allowed to repost any of these negative comments either.
	So if someone else talks shit, Trump can't hit the read truth button.
	He's bookmarking so hard right now.
	Someone cataloged it yesterday, and at some point last night, in two hours, he posted 41 times on Truth Social.
	Orange Daddy was going through some things last night.
	He was getting a lot off his chest.
	Doomscrolling.
	Doomscrolling in bed on the pillow, I get it.
	Yeah, just like a fucking half-empty gallon of ice cream, the spoon's still stuck in it.
	There's almonds everywhere.
	Stickily scrolling through his phone with his chubby little fingers, being like, uh, I'm gonna get him so hard when I'm not getting gagged.
	Yeah, the moment he gets convicted, he's just gonna lose his shit.
	He's just gonna walk out of the courtroom screaming and yelling.
	It'll be like that crazy court transcript that Justin Roiland did the voice, the Rick and Morty voices for back before he got canceled and shot into the sun.
	Yeah.
	Oh yeah, I remember that one.
	That was, that was solid.
	That was like the state of Georgia versus the guy that was a soft set.
	It was great.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it's great, but you know, it's, it's, it's never, it's never going to top that, that guy, that guy ranting and raving about his limp penis.
	I don't know why I've been thinking about that guy's limp penis all morning.
	Alright, let's move on from our crummy news segment, because our news segment is always crummy because the news is always crummy, into our mailbag segment, which is always great because our listeners are great.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q and A. Would you like to receive my limp penis?
	Was that the first question?
	Yes, it's for me by way of that crazy guy getting arrested.
	Was it the Australian guy?
	Yeah, it's great.
	Marvelous job, sir!
	I'm ranting and raving about how they touched his limp penis.
	Okay.
	Existential Dreads, former guest host of the show and still does stuff.
	I know that name.
	Yeah, she's a good egg.
	She asks, given that Rorschach was a conservative but had strong moral principles, what would his take on the current state of conservatives in America be?
	He would be on the patriot front.
	Yeah, he would absolutely.
	I feel like it's pretty obvious that Rorschach would hate transgenderism way more than he would hate anything the conservatives have going on.
	He would hate that shit.
	He would not be about that life, dude.
	He didn't even, like, regular sex work.
	I'm trying to tell him that, like, gender is a spectrum.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	He'd be throwing anger at everybody.
	The proper SovSit type.
	Probably part of some weird Christian identity church slash SovSit church that hands out weird paperwork to people.
	The problem is that Rorschach is, in a lot of ways, the ultimate supervillain.
	He's an actual conservative lunatic with convictions and the skills to do some stuff.
	I don't want no part of that life.
	I want all of my morally dubious people to be spineless and convictionless.
	Yeah, I really feel like Rorschach would hate Trump, because Trump wasn't extreme enough for him.
	He would think that Trump was like a petty conman that was a bullshitter.
	Then he'd probably be... Rorschach would probably be a griper.
	He'd probably be like Nick Fuentes.
	I like the cut of that kid's jib.
	He kind of gets it.
	Fuentes likes children though.
	He likes teenagers.
	He wants a child bride.
	So I think Rorschach might turn him into... Rorschach would hate Trump.
	Trump had an extramarital affair with a porn star.
	Maybe he'd be in the RFK.
	Rorschach's eternal monologue would just be like...
	President.
	President sleeps with hookers.
	Meant to be women now.
	I'm glad that this is one of the many characters that every, every, every white man that I hate like idolizes right up there with the fucking Joker.
	I can just feel him giving a speech at like a low.
	You know, low attended Oathkeeper offshoot event at like a church that only basically exists to host the Oathkeeper events.
	Yeah.
	And he's just really ranting, like he's about to initiate the second civil war, but it's just like, there's like, like 10 dudes in there and it's just, they're all homies.
	It's also important to realize and remember that like in the comic book Rorschach, like because of his crazy mental health issues and his political leanings, like is also, essentially just completely homeless just like like a destitute like just street person uh but that's in the comic book The Watchmen which takes place in the 80s and you know was written little tongue-in-cheek and you know all that stuff like Rorschach today he would he would be given a platform they'd be like dude we don't care about your crazy mental health issues doc like here's the truth get on that stage you preached all these blonde women to white men that you fucking hate
	Tell them what you hate, buddy!
	Ew!
	Here's your platform!
	Oh, oh god!
	Rorschach would get a tongue bath from Glenn Greenwald about his awesome documentary he just made.
	Oh man, Rorschach would just be so there.
	Yeah, it'd be great.
	Him and Chris Ruffo talking about how they're gonna get rid of this critical race theory.
	Get a gun and a hot iron gun.
	He would definitely have a blue checkmark right now.
	Yes.
	Oh, for sure.
	You get caught on a hot mic talking about throwing people out of windows, you know?
	Yeah.
	Would you risk saying that?
	You'd do it.
	Yes.
	Yeah, so I hope you didn't have any hope for Rorschach there.
	No, I'm sorry if you're a fan.
	Look, I mean, hey, like, I can't imagine that Existential Dreadlocks loves Rorschach.
	Maybe the character design, but I don't think, like, I mean, it would be really weird for any of our liberal pals to just be like, you know whose views I really love?
	Rorschach from Watchmen.
	I heard he was part of the plot to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer.
	So, yeah.
	Thank you for the question.
	Pancake Peasant asks, may we please have your review of Gendry Tarkovsky's work?
	If any of you don't know who that is, please share.
	I'm sure you're familiar with- Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh
	Ha ha ha ha ha ha How fucking dare you!
	No no no!
	Accusing me of not knowing who Giddy Tartakoski is!
	That- that wasn't- That wasn't the question.
	I know!
	That wasn't me shouting you down.
	That was me shouting down the listener.
	How dare you, listener!
	Of course I love Gindy Tartakosky because I have two eyeballs attached to a brain and also attached to a heart.
	Uh, Genji Tartakovsky is one of the greatest living western animators.
	His visual, uh, his eye for like visual like storytelling is sort of incomparable in a lot of ways to the point where I don't mind uh his sort of war Yeah, I love the man.
	I think his strongest work is probably Samurai Jack, even though I think the ending was a tremendous cop-out and tried to have it too many ways when they really just needed to pick an ending.
	But I still think Samurai Jack is probably his magnum opus, although I think my favorite top-to-bottom thing that he did might be Clone Wars might be the Gindy Tartakovsky Clone Wars animated stuff because I think it might be the best Star Wars fiction ever.
	Powerpuff Girls.
	I love Gindy Tartakovsky.
	That's all I have to say.
	I love the Powerpuff Girls.
	I think he was just like a producer on that, right?
	Yeah, it says he was a director, a writer, a recording director, and a storyboard artist.
	Okay, yeah, I knew he wasn't like, he didn't have his head all the way on the wheel on that one.
	I do like the Powerpuff Girls, though.
	That's about it.
	I don't like too much stuff.
	But I do love the Powerpuff Girls.
	Powerpuff Girls are great.
	Dude, I'm a buttercup.
	For those who are wondering.
	If you were wondering, listeners.
	I'm all about Mojo Jojo.
	Oh, yeah, dude.
	I had a Mojo Jojo scooter when I was a kid.
	Dude, I'm all about him.
	I remember like even at the time watching it just be like, damn, this is this is progressive shit.
	Just like, I'm like, one of their bad guys is literally a cross-dressing Satan.
	Demon.
	Yeah, what the fuck?
	A fabulous demon.
	Yeah, so good.
	Yeah, we have a queer-coded Satan as a character in this show.
	This is, like, very interesting.
	Also in the movie, or I can't remember if it was the movie or just one of the episodes, but they go into the future at one point, or like, you know, they go into a dystopian future, and one of their bad guys is taken over the world.
	It's, spoiler warning, it's him.
	It was just like, yeah, I did it.
	I made you guys disappear that I took over while you were gone.
	Anyway, Getting Turned Across You is great.
	Highly recommend most if not all of this stuff.
	You know, even the first Hotel Transylvania movie is actually pretty good.
	The other ones are like, you know, they just they sort of are what they are, but I feel like the first one actually has a pretty good goofs in it.
	Okay, so thank you for the question, and also sorry for your condemnation from El, because El's on point with his animation knowledge.
	Eric Supports the Current Thing asks, QAnon seems like it was on the decline until the pandemic gave too many people too much free time.
	Do you think the QAnon could still go away, or has it reached a critical mass at this point where it will just keep growing and absorbing new conspiracy theories?
	Kind of path is my answer.
	Yeah.
	What QAnon as it's what, as what it is currently has the shelf life of Donald Trump,
	but conspiracy theories, distrusting the mainstream media, creating an alternate narrative
	almost immediately after any story gets published.
	That sort of mentality is not going to go away at any time now.
	People like Alex Jones, right-wing grifters of that ilk like Glenn Beck, Stu Peters, all these shit weasels, They now know that this is a thing that people want.
	They know that there is a market for immediate disinformation after something happens.
	School shooting happens?
	False flag.
	Mass shooting somewhere in America?
	False flag.
	America There's a war involved and America's on one side, support the other side.
	Just all that kind of knee-jerk contrarianism where you just react opposite to what everybody else is doing is now something that's just going to be out there for forever.
	The people that, in like five, ten years, the people that believed in QAnon are going to believe in whatever that sort of knee-jerk contrarianism is.
	Whatever that... It's the... His handle was Eric Supports the Current Thing.
	Supporting the current thing is like a meme.
	It's an insult that QAnon and right-wingers use against people.
	And the meme right now is an NPC, which is a Wojak meme that means this person is not a real person.
	They're like a non-player character from a video game.
	So the NPC character is wearing a mask and has a vaccine sticking out of their arm.
	The next thing you know, the NPC has got a Ukrainian flag on the side of their head.
	The next thing you know, the NPC has an Israeli flag on the side of their head.
	That's the narrative, is that the media creates the current thing, and then you, the sheep, support the current thing.
	The media is reporting on stuff that is happening.
	I mean, maybe that's me.
	I don't know.
	Stuff could be happening, and it's different from the last thing that happened.
	That's wild.
	Linear time!
	Fuck!
	What is this shit?
	But I mean, it makes sense, right?
	Because at their heart, conservatives are still fighting the same fight they've always been fighting, right?
	They're just like, hey, anything I can do to stop non-white, non-straight, non-cisgendered people from getting anything they want.
	Like, oh, and if they're poor, fuck them too.
	Like, these are the things that they have been fighting forever, and they will never stop fighting it.
	The border?
	Those people are brown.
	I want no part of that.
	Forever.
	That's just how they feel about it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So that is that.
	So if something's going to happen, these people in like five or so years are going to be like, QAnon, I don't know what you're talking about.
	But on the other hand, and then you're going to get into this stuff.
	So like the relevancy of the Q drops, the relevancy of the quote unquote military PSYOP to save the world, all that kind of nonsense.
	QAnon has already transitioned Q from being, like, Trump's right-hand man who was working to help, like, issue the 500,000 sealed indictments that were going to arrest everybody, send them to Gitmo to be executed, etc., etc.
	He's already been transitioned into a guru who is trying to wake us up and get us to see the truth, man!
	That was what Q was trying to do the whole time!
	Oh, yeah, exactly.
	And it's only going to get worse with, like, you know, ten years from now.
	Next generation of the people that have stepped into the shoes of the QAnon crafter will just be like Q is just a regular guy like you or me who just wanted to speak a little truth to power on the internet and it was never a LARP about a military coup or any of that stuff that's crazy he was just a guy talking about how we prefer America to be, you know? Despite the fact
	that you can go online and see that it started off as a military LARP and, you know, it was all
	about like putting Hillary Clinton in a military helicopter and flag her to Gitmo or whatever, they're
	going to be like, no way, man.
	He was just like a chill guy. He was just a chill blue collar guy like you or me. It was like,
	wasn't he supposed to have secret government clearance? And they're just like, nah, man,
	that was a metaphor. Yeah.
	The real military clearance was the friends we met along the way.
	Exactly.
	It's just so ridiculous.
	So yeah, that's basically where that's all going.
	And Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor said, if you had the votes to selectively have your nomination elected as Speaker of the House, who would you put in that position?
	And what is your secret ploy that justifies your insane choice?
	We've already talked about this this episode.
	We said Mike as the Speaker.
	When he's already got a plan to put in Hakeem Jeffries or whatever.
	I personally don't approve of this plan.
	I think you should serve.
	Oh, if I was actually the Speaker and could wield that ridiculous amount of power, I would enjoy my one year as Speaker before I was summarily removed.
	But as America stared at me in a gogged horror as to who the fuck is this moron and why is he now the Speaker?
	Only wear jerseys.
	Yes!
	Hey, I got the Creepsicle Brady!
	The moment Brady signed with Tampa Bay, I was like, oh my God, they've got to make the most hideous jersey in the history of the world with Tom Brady's name on it.
	And they finally did it this week.
	Even though the man never wore this jersey on the field, he wears it in spirit.
	And I immediately purchased it as soon as it came out.
	Because I was like, fuck yes, I want the worst jersey of all time celebrating the greatest player of all time.
	It's perfect.
	I was about to say, if you want the worst jersey of all time, you could just have a Mac Jones jersey.
	Crazy how bad that name got.
	All you need to know is that the United States Patriots of New England were the greatest football team in the history of football teams for like 20 years, and everybody hated their guts, and now they're one of the worst, if not the worst, team in football, and everyone is cheering.
	Yep, everyone now just looks down their nose and snickers at the Patriots, and they deserve it.
	We are the worst.
	We're the absolute worst.
	And the best part is, because I was a Patriots fan, like most people were before they got bad, and I don't care if people are like, Fairweather fan!
	Yeah, I prefer teams that win.
	Sorry, it's so weird that way.
	But people will needle me.
	My friends from out of the state or whatever will try to needle me and just be like, Patriots are pretty bad now. I'm just like yeah, they sure
	are and they're just like Just like yep, it's like it's so hard to get into my skin
	cuz it's like dude We were the best for so long
	There's so many titles like I don't know what to tell you man
	Like I'm kind of we got kind of sick of winning over here dog like yeah, but he also do for a minute
	Patriots fans actually live the Donald Trump dream of getting tired of winning
	You're going to get so tired of winning.
	We're going to win so much.
	And it's like, yeah, we did.
	It actually happened.
	Yeah, we need this humility to make us care again.
	Yeah.
	And much like Icarus, we got too close to the sun and now we've crashed and burned.
	And that's just the end of it.
	And I honestly hope the Patriots don't win another game this season.
	We need a massive rebuild.
	We need high draft picks.
	To hell with the Patriots at this point.
	Yeah, we should probably draft a new fucking coach in the first round, right?
	Yeah, oh yeah, fire Belichick, all of it.
	Strip it down to the studs, and if that's not good enough, rip the whole thing to the ground.
	So yeah, nuts to all that.
	So that brings us to our final question as always, which is, what are you guys looking forward to?
	I redownloaded Civilization Revolution for the Xbox 360 onto my Xbox Series S, and I'm going to play that.
	We got you back on the Civ Rev.
	For whatever reason, YouTube served me up a video of a guy playing Civ Rev, and I tried to watch it, and I was just like, this isn't that addressing.
	But it does give me an idea.
	And that is to put even more time into this game that's like 12 years old at this point, that I've already put like three or four hundred hours into.
	It's like, yeah, we're playing more of this.
	So I'm going to eat my leftover pancakes, and we're going to play Civ Rev.
	It's going to be quite the rest of a day off.
	That sounds incredible.
	I highly recommend it.
	What are you looking forward to, Hayley?
	I actually have a rare answer, and it's a sports answer.
	So this is double rare.
	I got invited, possibly, if the Diamondbacks don't biff it, this is sports.
	This is baseball.
	The Diamondbacks are the Arizona team.
	If they don't biff it, like, lose... How many games do you have to win to win?
	What is this, the World Series?
	This is the National League Championship Series and you have to win four games.
	You are going to Game 5.
	The Diamondbacks have to win one of the next two games for there to be a Game 5.
	If there's a Game 5, I was invited to a possible Game 5.
	Right.
	And I've only been to like a baseball game when I was like three years old, so I have no memory of that.
	I hear it's boring, but I do like to drink and I like to be annoying.
	So I think the sports arena might be the perfect setting for that.
	You know what I'm going to vote for?
	Who I'm going to root for?
	I honestly would like to see the Diamondbacks lose.
	If they lose that fifth game, they lose entirely, correct?
	Not if they win the two before it.
	Oh, right.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah.
	I would like to see them lose this championship.
	Is this the proper word?
	Yeah.
	Well, the series.
	I would like to see them lose this series in person because I feel like that's the most Arizona thing is to lose.
	Especially lose games that everyone's hype as fuck about.
	The only reason I knew that this was happening is because, like, there's, like, this popular Mexican bakery that is selling diamondback color conchas, like the vintage teal and purple colors.
	They look sick.
	Everyone's getting hype about the Diamondbacks right now.
	Even you have been telling me things about the Diamondbacks.
	I got invited to a game.
	Really?
	So it's like, people are hype.
	It's Diamondback fever!
	And there's nothing more Arizona than us getting hype as hell and then losing.
	I mean, I don't know.
	I feel like Arizona's known for a few things more than that.
	Possibly.
	I mean, sports.
	That's the only thing I know about sports.
	I remember when the Cardinals went to the Super Bowl.
	They didn't win.
	Right.
	But we got so fucking hype here that they were renaming high schools after the Cardinals and all this shit.
	And it's like they lost.
	That's how hyped they got about losing.
	But just making the Super Bowl.
	I believe I brought this to your attention before, but I'm just going to reiterate it, that your one victory, your one victory was when you were the villains of America, and you defeated the 9-11 Yankees to win the World Series.
	New York needed their redemption after the tragedy of 9-11, and the Arizona Diamondbacks were like, Fuck you, buddy!
	Boom!
	We're the champs!
	And all seven Diamondbacks fans were so happy, and the rest of America was like, guys, this was the one time in American history the Yankees were the good guys.
	This was the one time the nation was actually on Team Yankees, because they were representing the city that was hit on 9-11.
	And then you do this in front of everybody, and the seven Diamondbacks fans were like, yeah!
	Woo!
	Diamondbacks!
	It's so funny you bring that up because I just sent you that article from the Arizona Republic that was like, the Diamondbacks brought us hope after 9-11.
	Can they do it again now that the war is in peril?
	And it's like, you need to retire, whoever wrote this.
	And again, the Diamondbacks did not bring us solace.
	They only brought us pain.
	New York was looking for an outlet for any relief from their tragedy, and the Arizona Diamondbacks were like, Nope!
	Fuck you!
	Boom!
	We're the champs!
	Literally, it was the wrestling heel defeating the good guy and waving the belt around and celebrating in front of him, while the good guy's children were crying in the front row.
	It's just incredible.
	If someone has a vintage 2001 World Series Diamondbacks World Champion shirt, can you please send that to me?
	Thank you.
	Yes!
	Yeah.
	And, uh, I am looking forward to sleep.
	Bitches.
	Aggressive quantities of sleep this week.
	We flipped.
	We did.
	Well, the main reason for all this freaky Friday shit is this.
	Hayley's interested in sports.
	Mike's interested in sleep.
	No, well, the main thing was that I had originally planned for my look-forward thing to be my Creamsicle Brady jersey, because the UPS said it was arriving tomorrow, but then it arrived today, and it took away the thing I was looking forward to, because I already have it.
	So now that I've obtained it, now I can rest because normally on Wednesdays I used to get to chill out, but today I had to do Zoom meetings.
	I had to just do stuff on my day off besides podcasting and then just startling around.
	So now, like, today was extra tired me on the pod, and now that that's finally over, I'll probably, like, want to go to sleep, but then just not do it, but then try to go to sleep a little early tonight.
	But yeah, just finally catching up, finally paying the Sandman his due.
	That's pretty much what I'm in favor of, because I'm already wearing my Creamsicle Brady jersey.
	I've already achieved success for the week.
	You have achieved nirvana.
	Poor Alexander Reigns over here, weeping for his No More Jersey Left at Concert.
	Right, exactly.
	I have no more jerseys left to conquer.
	But you need to go get a creamsicle to eat with your dreams.
	Maybe, maybe, maybe I'll go down, maybe I'll go somewhere and find an orange creamsicle to eat.
	Ask somebody who's shared many a meal with Mike Rains.
	I would say that if Mike Rains wants to keep that creamsicle jersey in good condition, he should avoid eating anything in it.
	Oh, I, I, I, oh, whoa.
	I am a messy boy.
	That is an accurate statement, yes.
	Yeah, Mike Rains eats like the Tasmanian Devil.
	It's fucking wild.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm not good.
	I'm very bad at eating.
	I need to go to remedial eating class.
	It's okay, for all of my fucking, for all of my ginger trying so hard, like gingerly forking stuff into my face, I've still got like a big fat, what I call shelf.
	And like, stuff just falls on the shelf.
	Like I just could never, I could never prevent the shelf from accumulating some garbage.
	Like, even when, like I'll get a milkshake, and you know how like sometimes that like a little bit of the milk or whatever will get under the rim?
	Like I'll go to take a sip of that shit and immediately that milk will fall right on the shelf and it will just be like, hey.
	Was that shirt new?
	Well, now it's got a stain on it.
	Yeah, get fucked, idiot.
	Your new shirt's not so new anymore now, is it?
	How dare I buy a new clothe, you know, and try to fucking wear it in the world and eat a food.
	Yeah, that's my cross to bear, though.
	You know, these are the huge problems that I talk about here on the show.
	Anyway, let's strap Mike down on one of those, like, medical beds and then write him Jackass-style out of Hellworld for the week.
	Thank you so much, everybody, for listening to the show.
	Your support means the world to us.
	You can continue to support the show for free by giving us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts from.
	If you have money and you'd like to give it to the cause, we'll be happy to take it off your hands.
	You can visit us at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where anybody who donates $5 or more a month
	gets access to all of our bonus content that's in the kitty.
	That's 50, maybe 60 plus hours worth of bonus content at this point.
	It's a decent chunk of bonus content for your ear holes, if you'd like to partake.
	And for the record, you don't have to donate $5.
	I believe you still have the $2 option, but $5 is where you wanna be
	if you want that bonus content.
	Thank you so much for all of our beautiful, our babies hanging out in the crib and supporting the show.
	If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, you could do good with it in a lot of ways in the world now.
	We trust your judgment, but we will just continue to suggest donating it to love146.org.
	They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
	Thanks as always for the use of our intro song, courtesy of DJ Minimal Effort, who's not on any social media.
	But you can find other folks on social media, including our buddy Frosty, who does all of our voiceover artist work, including the voice of Q when we need it.
	You can find them still on Twitter currently, as far as I know, at FrostyVO.
	You can find this show, The Adventures of Hellworld podcast, on Twitter for the time being, at Hellworld with a Q instead of an O.
	You can find myself, the Mysterious L, over on Blue Sky, where I have jumped ship to.
	If you would like to show me your furry cock drawings, you can find me there, at Mysterious L. Haley, you can find, I believe, still on both platforms, certainly on Blue Sky, at Arizona Right Watch.
	I'm Blue Sky as hell.
	Blue Sky as hell.
	But are you still on Twitter, or did you abandon that shit?
	I posted a little bit this week just because there was some relevant stuff going on, but I have mostly abandoned it for Blue Sky and occasionally Instagram, which is... Fair enough.
	Well, there you go.
	That was as much for my information as it was for the listeners.
	So that's where you can find myself and Hayley.
	And of course, Mike Rains is at Poker Politics.
	So, for another successful episode of the Adventures of Hell World Podcast, well, you know, successful in big quotation marks this week, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by Haley, aka Arizona Right Wing Watch, or Arizona Right Watch!
	Dammit, I put the wing back in there!
	And of course, our expert at all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.

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