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Oct. 12, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:34:21

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #160: Twitter's Coverage of Israel Sucks

This week we cover George Santos being charged for more crimes, Tim Ballard going crazy, Kari Lake running for Senate, and Twitter being absolutely useless when it comes to covering what is going on in Israel. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time	Text
	I'm going to go ahead and get started. So let's get started.
	Music Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Grains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
	Arizona Right Watch.
	Hello.
	I'm here on time.
	Everything's going very smooth.
	I didn't say this line earlier and we didn't have to rerecord it.
	Hello, everybody.
	Good afternoon.
	Good evening.
	Good morning.
	All of those things.
	We're also joined by Mysterious L. My beautiful babies!
	It's Spooky Month!
	Yes!
	And in order to just terrify a lot of people, there's a chance that you, the listener, will be able to hear drilling in the distance.
	Sinister drilling!
	And that's on purpose, and not just because these people have literally chosen this moment to start their housework.
	I can't hear it, so the listener probably can't hear it.
	Nice.
	Well, just in case, listener, that drilling is on purpose.
	I'm in, like, a dentist's office or whatever.
	It's all very spooky.
	I'm very spooky.
	The Spooky L, as we like to call him in October.
	It's his yearly name change from Mysterious to Spooky.
	Yeah, you can't spell Halloween without two L's.
	Exactly right!
	The other one is my deranged killer twin!
	That is what it should be.
	We need to try to get into the horror genre for October.
	That's where all the terrible movies try to salvage themselves by being part of the season of spookiness.
	Yeah, bro, it seems real easy.
	I have a friend who's one of those like genuinely into Halloween, like really about that life and just like horror movies in general.
	And she's willing to swallow a lot of shit just because it's a horror movie.
	Like she watches a lot of stuff that's just like, objectively terrible.
	The worst movies ever.
	Yeah like you get a thing every once in a while there's a thing that's like so bad that it's charming because they like they were obviously trying hard and like it was just you know it's quirky because it was a lot of effort that amounted to not a very good product.
	Birdemic?
	But there's like heart to it.
	It's really bad.
	It's so bad.
	It's awesome.
	Yeah, I mean, I've heard people say that about like the first Sharknado and stuff like that.
	Oh, yeah, there are.
	I just think those movies are just like, they're just a little too commercially viable for the stuff I'm talking about.
	I'm talking like, like Toxic Avenger, you know, now we're talking, but even that's getting like a big pristine reboot or whatever.
	So anyway.
	Oh god, DJ Minimal Effort lives only to talk about the Toxic Avenger.
	Like, the greatest bit of cinema in that man's warped brain, it is.
	Yeah, because DJ Minimal Effort is a special chap.
	Well, what's a horror movie you actually like?
	Oh, there are, like, a bunch of good ones.
	I mean, does it have to be a movie I like, or can it just be a movie that I appreciate?
	It doesn't fucking matter, man.
	Well, because like, so that same person showed me Hereditary.
	She insisted that I needed to see Hereditary.
	And Hereditary is a good movie.
	It's a very good movie with very good performances in it.
	But I wouldn't say that I was entertained watching it.
	So when people ask me if I like it, I'm just like, I respect it a lot.
	I really appreciate it.
	Like, but I was, you know, I didn't really, I came away from that movie thinking about it, but not really feeling entertained by it.
	Um, and sometimes that's what I want horror to do, you know?
	I feel like psychological horror movies, in general, should probably do that.
	Like, you shouldn't come away from Silence of the Lambs and just be like, damn, what a neat, what a rollicking time that was, man.
	I'm fucking just out of my seat the whole way.
	It's like, that means that you're too excited for psychological murder stuff.
	Too excited for it, man.
	Can't trust that.
	Big red flag right there.
	You're supposed to come out of it being just like, wow, that was grim and really well executed.
	Good for them.
	What a great flick.
	Yeah.
	Running around like Bricks Flair afterwards.
	Ooh!
	They're wearing their skin!
	There was a lot of convoluted stuff about sexuality and identity, and yeah!
	That guy was great!
	Then she shot him in the dark because it was cool.
	Yeah, so I really liked Hereditary, but because I wasn't entertained by Hereditary, I still haven't seen Midsommar.
	A lot of people say that Midsommar might be, like, better.
	Live your true self.
	I know exactly what the movie is and I know exactly what the movie is going to be.
	So just like, do I need to watch it?
	I will. I will just give credit on that one.
	It's back to it was great. I bet it was awesome.
	I bet it was great. I bet it was so well shot.
	I mean, it really made you think at some point.
	It's just so good. But I don't want to watch it.
	Live your true self. Don't watch anything you don't watch.
	It was like Breaking Bad.
	I remember that Elle had... Elle's take on Breaking Bad was mostly, do I just want to bum myself out for a long period of time?
	Because it's a well-made show, but it's just like, man, do I really just want to be upset?
	There's no real point to that.
	Yeah, it never started entertaining me.
	That's the show I have given the most number of shots.
	I've watched the first episode of Breaking Bad, No joke, like, probably around 10 times.
	And I've seen the next two episodes somewhere between, like, two and three times each piece.
	But I don't think I've ever seen the fourth episode of Breaking Bad.
	Like, it just never gets its hooks into me.
	It was like, oh my god, timeless classic.
	What an incredible show.
	So good.
	I'm just like, I don't know, man.
	Like, it seems fine.
	Uh, but, you know, I'm super- I love that for you guys.
	I'm sure it's great.
	I'm giving you the credit.
	100% credit.
	I'm sure it's a timeless classic.
	Here you go.
	Here's your credit.
	Timeless classic credit.
	Boom.
	Immortalized, like, stamp of approval.
	Signed on scene.
	Here it is.
	Boom.
	I love it.
	That's me and Curb Your Enthusiasm.
	I watch episodes of Curb.
	Absolutely not.
	That show just sucks.
	That show just sucks if the people that like it have bad fucking taste.
	That's the way I feel.
	That's the way I feel.
	I just watch it and I'm just like, how is this good?
	How can you enjoy this?
	And then I just see people on the internet who are just like, oh, another incredible episode of Curb!
	Oh, they just crushed it!
	Yeah, but Mike, did you know that Larry David was involved with Seinfeld?
	So how could you not appreciate his humor?
	Seinfeld was Seinfeld, dude.
	Oh, right.
	Have you heard of a little show called Seinfeld, Mike?
	It's a show about nothing.
	Yeah, but also about everything.
	You get what I'm saying.
	Anyway.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Seinfeld is fine.
	Caribbean Enthusiasm sucks.
	Anyway.
	I'm going to start over.
	My hot takes will keep coming if you let me.
	We haven't even started talking about it.
	It's never funny in Philadelphia.
	The world's most overrated comedy show in the history of all time.
	It's great.
	Timeless Classic.
	Credit here.
	I don't want to talk to you about it.
	Danny DeVito.
	Love him.
	Snap it off.
	Here you go.
	Nightman.
	Enemy of the Dayman.
	Here's your credit.
	So funny.
	Just reference it at any moment.
	Whenever you'd like.
	Here you go.
	Yeah.
	I lived through the Chappelle Show.
	Are you an offense guy?
	Do you like deadpan humor where they just stare at the camera and they're like... No, I like 30 Mock because they wrote jokes into that show.
	That show was about jokes being delivered by comedians and not just a show where they were just like, all right, all of you, there's no script.
	You're in a room together.
	Act awkward.
	And you're awkward.
	And when you're not awkward, you're screaming.
	Awkward or screaming and the camera will just sort of walk around and hover over you.
	It's like, okay, no, thank you.
	Yeah, my favorite sitcom of all time is 30 Rock.
	I do respect what Seinfeld was doing.
	Seinfeld was super ahead of its time.
	It's hard to go back and appreciate it now because I wasn't weekly on it back then.
	I get it.
	You know, it's sort of like Bill Hicks.
	You're just like, you have to take something out of the time that you're absorbing it, which is now, and try to be like, 30 years ago, how impressive would this have been?
	And just be like, well, holy shit, I mean, 30 years ago, that was like vanilla ice was popular.
	Like, this would have been like, holy shit, we're like, what is this?
	You know?
	30 years ago, Vanilla Ice was explaining how one extra little beat made his song not under pressure, and thusly it was totally okay.
	Or for like a more in-the-pocket comparison, it's just like 30 years ago, it's just like, do I want to listen to Andrew Dice Clay or do I want to listen to Bill Hicks?
	And then, you know, coming back from it, if you were listening to that guy back then, you must have been like a time traveler, because nobody fucks with Andrew Dice Clay and everybody pays lip service to Bill Hicks.
	Someone brought up that the, oh, in You're Unbelievable is actually from Andrew Dice Clay.
	That was like a sample of the Dice Man in that song.
	That's great.
	I was like, wow, really?
	I guess.
	It's not quite as great as everybody discovering that that actor from The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
	was responsible for that Snoop Dogg beat or whatever.
	It's been going viral on TikTok recently.
	Man, you know, we usually talk about an assortment of horseshit at the top of the show.
	I don't know what the fuck y'all talking about, so I'm just kind of, like, chillin' here.
	I can feel my eyes just, like, glazing over, I don't know, your song references.
	I don't know your... You don't know references to songs or television.
	I do know your Unbelievable song, but I didn't know any of the names that you were just saying.
	I'm sorry.
	You don't know who Adrian Days Clay is?
	Mm-mm.
	Well then I rest my case.
	I mean the Bill Hicks thing, like people barely knew who he was back then anyway, but the
	Dice Man was all over the place.
	Dice Man was playing Madison Square Garden.
	Yeah.
	Do not, do not look into the Dice Man.
	If you were a listener, that advice goes to you as well.
	Do not look into Andrew Dice Clay.
	No, Andrew Dice Clay was basically the original misogynist piece of shit.
	His whole act was just going on stage and being like, broads, am I right?
	In really vulgar terms.
	He was Andrew Tate a million years ago, only just even more ridiculous about it.
	He was also a prototype of the Jersey Shore.
	The way he dressed was like jean jacket, bandana nonsense, stuff that Jersey Shore people Put on top of a body that was actually in shape, like, like 10 or 15 years later, and everybody was into it.
	It's really funny.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, he was an absolute monster.
	And I actually saw someone saying that, like, he was like the proto, like the origin of Donald Trump nowadays, like started with Andrew Dice Clay and his audience back then.
	So it was like, the fact that out of nowhere, we organically got to the Dice Man today was wild, because I've been reading way too much about him the last week.
	Well, our listeners are obviously going to clamor at the bit for more Dice Van content, and they're going to be like, hey, you need to make a bonus series about Andrew Dice Clay.
	And I'll be like, you know what?
	Mike Rades really should do that.
	Yes, I'll get right on that. So are we ready for the bush yet?
	Yeah, I guess so.
	I mean, I mean, Hayley looks like a deer trapped in headlights.
	Should I go grab my coffee?
	You've already delayed us plenty, young lady.
	You had to escape out of the back of the Cyber Ninjas elite security van.
	I'm sorry.
	I was on time, everybody.
	It's been a good morning.
	I'm definitely awake.
	Yes, we're all bringing our A game.
	Nothing but 98 mile an hour fastballs.
	We're the best, yes.
	Okay, playing the Boosh Bump now.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the Amuse Boosh!
	All right, first order of business for the week.
	Our favorite person whose pants are constantly on fire, Drew Santos, is back in the news this week.
	Mike, why are we talking about the one whose pants continuously are on fire?
	Our boy George Santos just got hit with 23 more indictments, most of which stems from him ripping off donors by using their information to either charge their credit cards or to make accounts in their names and then spend money with them.
	So yeah, our boy Santos has decided that Like, the amount of crimes he did to get into office were not enough.
	He's going to do more crimes while in office.
	He's just going, whole hog.
	Maybe Trump will pardon me when he wins in 2024, but whatever.
	Absolutely not.
	Donald Trump, who has no fucking idea who this guy is, right?
	Like, absolutely not.
	Even if they worked together personally in the same room for six years, Donald Trump would not know who this guy is anymore.
	Did he just say who?
	Man, what was he buying?
	What was he buying with the credit cards?
	Do we know?
	I don't know, but I hope because that was still the greatest part about this guy was that he made like a he looked like he was making like a real go of it as a drag queen in Brazil.
	Oh, that's right.
	Yeah.
	Where's that guy?
	Yeah.
	The charges pertain to fraudulent transactions by Santos, where he stole other people's identities and made charges on his donors credit cards without their authorization.
	So yeah, he's just doing all the crimey shit.
	committee and falsely inflated loans and contributions to create the illusion his campaign had raised
	more money than it had.
	So yeah, he's just doing all the crimey shit.
	It is magical that this giant dum-dum is just capable of doing even more than we expected.
	And really, it's sad in a lot of ways that he's going to go down for really boring white
	collar crime when the biggest crime that he committed was when he did that GoFundMe for
	or some guy's dog that was dying and then stole the money.
	He just loves doing crimes.
	Yeah, he just can't help it!
	My favorite part of it is, despite all of this stuff, He's still in the boosh because he's just so transparently guilty.
	The only reason we're still talking about it is because he's somehow still employed.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, it's because he's so shameless he won't resign and the Republicans are so gutless and so They only have a four-seat majority in the House, so they don't want it to go down to three, because, spoiler alert, he's in a Democrat district.
	The moment he leaves office, a Democrat will win the special election, and that will shave their majority down to three seats.
	So the Republicans need his vote, and he has no shame.
	So he's leaving only when his term is up.
	They're all criminals anyway.
	They're like, well, he's just kind of doing it a little bit too openly.
	Yes.
	You know, like, come on, guy, do it like we all do it.
	Yeah, but it used to be they would have to punish people who were doing it openly to try to, like, keep the illusion that politicians are still playing by the same rules as everybody else, like, going.
	Recently, like, Donald Trump was the vampire who's just like, why do we have to hide from these stupid humans?
	We should just, like, take over the world or whatever.
	And then it turns out that it's just like, yeah, if that was an option, it would have happened before, idiot.
	Like, we have to hide because there's way more of them than us.
	Yes.
	Yeah, so he can enjoy many, many, he's going to enjoy many more years in jail than he did in Congress as his mighty two-year term of excellence comes to a close.
	He was seen in the hallways and press was going after him, asking him about the new indictments.
	And he claimed, quote, I don't know what you're talking about and just walked away.
	I'm just powered through it.
	Bold move.
	Yes.
	Strong.
	Powerful move.
	George Santos, the Giga Chad, as we like to call him around here.
	How could you be any Chadlier?
	All men in the Republican Party are just the pedicle of masculinity.
	Just look at that.
	That's transparently obvious.
	Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, just absolutely brimming with just fucks.
	Look at these fucking high-T motherfuckers.
	Certainly shouldn't need to ever photoshop their head onto a different body, because they're already so physically fit and powerful.
	Yes, all of this is accurate.
	I love that, like, all the Republican Party wants is somebody with six-pack abs that, like, hates foreigners the way they do, and they'll just vote them into office immediately.
	Again, once again, my appeal is that the Republican Party in America stops pretending, and you just make it a pageant.
	Just make it some sort of pageant, and then we'll figure out who your candidate is, and then the rest of us will keep trying to govern with laws and stuff.
	Donald Trump actually had a speech earlier, I think it was this week or it was late last week, where he declared he has a better body than Joe Biden.
	He actually said that.
	He's like, you know, Between me and Joe Biden, I'm definitely in better shape.
	And it's... Did he say it by citing his unblemished record of heterosexuality?
	If only he had.
	Oh God, if only, if only if Donald Trump had cited his unblemished record of heterosexuality, that would have been incredible.
	I love the idea that he's like checking out Joe Biden.
	He's like, yeah, Biden ain't ripped like I am.
	I'm definitely more swole than the current president.
	I mean, fucking...
	Prove it, then.
	Who do we have to talk to to get these two to just settle it in the rig?
	They should fight.
	That's how we should figure out who's president they should fight to the death.
	That'd be funny.
	Oh, absolutely.
	I like our chances.
	I like Team Biden's chances in a fistfight with Trump for the right to the presidency.
	You know what?
	Let's fucking Hunger Games this thing.
	Just combine it.
	Every party that wants a shot has to throw a pageant.
	And the pageant determines their candidate, and the candidates all get together and they fight to the death to determine who gets to be President of the United States.
	Yes!
	We should do that.
	It's kind of like reverse Hunger Games.
	We make the elites fight to the death.
	And if a bunch of them kill each other, well, that's just, that's just, that's just how it goes.
	You know?
	It will immediately solve our 70 year old president problem.
	We're not going to have any more of those when it comes down to like, where there's like, all right, here's the beauty component.
	Here's a talent component.
	And then there's a fight to the death.
	They'll just be like, ah, yes, the 23-year-old president of the United States.
	Exactly, exactly as the founders intended.
	Unfortunately, the winner will be just incredibly bloodthirsty and probably reign with an iron fist.
	I mean, you know, maybe that's what the country needs.
	He just killed a bunch of people and he signed up for it in the first place, which is a little weird.
	Oh, I mean, when you talk about his policy, I mean, we saw his policy when he ripped that guy's spine out of his body.
	He was just like, here's my policy.
	Spine out, you know?
	It's like, yeah, you know what?
	Spine out, motherfucker.
	Let's go.
	America.
	We used to be a spine out kind of country.
	Come and take it, it's a spine.
	We went after the Middle East spine pretty hard after 9-11, I'll tell you that much.
	Democracy!
	Sorry, did I say spine?
	I meant we're gonna instill some democracy.
	Democracy spines.
	Freedom spines.
	That's what we're all about.
	It's time to free your spine.
	Okay, that's enough talking about the obviously guilty on all accounts George Santos until we get another wave of indictments against him that Republicans keep looking the other way on for as long as they have to.
	And we can move on to something that I don't know anything about.
	The Freedom Song!
	Haley seemed very excited about the Freedom Song, though.
	You haven't heard the Freedom Song?
	You haven't heard Michael Flynn's musical debut?
	I had to explain to you who Andrew Dice Clay was.
	You can't get mad at me for not having heard this Freedom Song.
	I'm sorry, you're correct.
	I am bad at things.
	You're not bad.
	I'm just saying that we're equally bad.
	Or equally not bad.
	Take your pick.
	I thought Mike would send it.
	Mike, have you listened to it?
	I definitely told you to listen to it.
	I listened to it because it was homework, but I wasn't going to torture Elle with four minutes of that horrible shit.
	What did you think of Michael Flynn's?
	Four minutes?
	Don't these people know that TikTok exists?
	Your song is 90 seconds.
	If your song is two minutes, 30 seconds of that is outro.
	The last like 40 seconds is them literally introducing every single person that was in the song.
	Yeah, so the Freedom Song is basically a right-wing grifter version of We Are The World, which, as Hayley has brought up, features Michael Flynn as T-Pain.
	He is so ridiculously auto-tuned.
	It is T-Pain!
	It totally is!
	Everyone's a little bit T-Pain, but he's extra T-Pain.
	Oh, he's just all the way.
	He's just literally, they were asking, Michael Flynn, how T-Pain do you want to be?
	And he was like, the whole way.
	All the way, 10, 11.
	Yes, 11.
	Turn it to 11.
	Crank it.
	My natural singing voice is absolutely horrifying.
	Just turn me into a robot.
	That's what I'm here for.
	It was so bad.
	They had, like, one guy who could kind of sing, and he carried the boatload.
	But then when they went to all the other grifters who have name value... Oh, God, the moment they got on the mic, it was just Robot City.
	It was just all day, everyday Robot City.
	It was not even funny.
	Do you know Jimmy Levy?
	Oh, we're talking about a... Oh, go ahead.
	Sorry, I was just about to say, we're talking about a horrible novelty song.
	Later on, we're going to be talking about Israel.
	I figured it out, guys.
	The secret clue for our episode this week is Gal Gadot.
	Yes!
	Gal Gadot is the secret clue.
	Yes!
	Pack it in, boys.
	It's over.
	I figured it out.
	Hey, apparently she's not being included in the DC reboot.
	Apparently James Gunn is just like, everybody's out now.
	We're recasting everyone.
	Did we finally get to the point where we can stop pretending like she's a good actress?
	Did that happen?
	I'm looking around to see if I'm about to get canceled.
	That's kind of, I think, the point of Hollywood.
	Can we do it?
	Are you pretty?
	Can we do it?
	Can we finally just be like, hey, that first Wonder Woman movie was okay?
	Anyways, you know who Jimmy Lovey is?
	No.
	No.
	Mike?
	No.
	The guy that was the main singer of this?
	No.
	He's like one of the MAGA singers, but he's more like religious.
	He's an interesting guy.
	So he was the head of this song, the We Are The World MAGA version, and it featured like Forjati Oblo.
	Do you know Forjati Oblo?
	He's the MAGA rapper.
	Even I know about Forgeado Blow.
	Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He was in it too, singing.
	Jimmy Levy was an American Idol guy.
	He was a failed American Idol contestant.
	I don't even know how far he made it, but he and his sister both tried out for American Idol.
	She's also one of the singers.
	There's a woman that's also in the music video that is related to them who I don't think she ever sings.
	I don't think they ever give her like a clip to sing.
	She was like fucking out of her mind in that.
	She was just kind of like sitting there like She's the opposite of the Boston type man.
	She's like the Freedom Singers chill girl.
	She's a girl who's like, stay in the corner and keep everybody chill with you barely breathing and looking like you've OD'd or something in the background.
	You guys just don't get it.
	She was channeling like mid-2000s Atlanta energy.
	I think she was channeling psychic energy.
	Because that's what she is.
	She's a celebrity psychic.
	She was just on Siserp.
	They all look like that.
	Siserp will make anybody look like that.
	This lady is like, I read her predictions, the other relative of Jimmy Levy that's in the song who doesn't actually sing.
	She just does like, she's just like watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians and like, I think these two are gonna hook up.
	And then the next week they do and she's like, you guys see?
	I totally got it right.
	I am a psychic.
	I mean, tricking people into believing that observations of things that are happening around you are predictions from the future is the hallmark of any flimflam psychic.
	Liz Crokin is in this, Mike.
	Did you like they called her an investigative journalist?
	Oh, yeah.
	I saw Liz.
	Liz has been hyping it.
	A lot of her timeline is people saying, the Freedom Song is going viral.
	And it's like, no, it isn't.
	It actually, this song has nowhere near the juice Rich Men North of Richmond did or any of that stuff.
	And they tried so hard to make it pop and it just absolutely didn't.
	It absolutely had no pop.
	Yeah, if you have enough skill, you can make something go viral, but they definitely don't.
	The conservatives?
	Absolutely not.
	They do not have the juice to will a thing to go viral.
	When stuff goes viral for them, it's organic, because there's an actual sentiment behind it that people are reacting to.
	Because, you know, like it or not, even the stupidest person can intuit when they're being, like, like, fucking just sold to by the soulless corporations.
	Most of the times they're just happy to do it.
	Myself included.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, people are just like, don't you know that this and this or whatever is wrong?
	And I'm just like, no, I know.
	But, like, I'm part of the system, man.
	Like, I can only, I can only fight against it so much as to function.
	So, calm down.
	There was a Pussycat Doll in this song.
	You guys remember the Pussycat Dolls?
	I thought that was... I was like, what the fuck is this?
	I guess when you have one in five... The lead Pussycat Doll went solo.
	Yeah.
	The lead Pussycat Doll was the only one with any talent.
	This is not the lead.
	This is Jessica Sutta.
	Anyone ever hear of that name?
	No.
	No.
	There was a lot of wash... There was like a Bachelorette contestant in there who like had some DWI charges and like Illegally carrying weapons charges, which I thought was funny.
	There was a pastor that you'll think is cool and funny, L, because we always talk about liquid death.
	This guy kind of went viral because he thinks that liquid death is demonic.
	He's a pastor that talks about liquid death.
	See, even the strongest amongst us can be tricked by marketing.
	Those people are literally just putting water into cans instead of plastic bottles because you can recycle aluminum easier.
	Yeah, but it's called liquid death.
	It does look spooky on the outside.
	It's a little spooky.
	Hashtag, many people think it's beer.
	I'm sure tons of kids have been tricked.
	Or an energy drink.
	Man, I really need something to pep me up.
	Pop open a can of this not even carbonated water.
	Just regular ass canned water.
	It's canned water.
	But it's demonic.
	There was- we got a mini Carrie Lake.
	We got another one, folks.
	There was a woman- We called those Carrie Ponds.
	Boom.
	Nailed it.
	Carrie Puddles.
	There was a woman that was only introduced as news anchor at OAN, but she used to be a Good Morning Arizona anchor, and she used to also report as an anchor in Tucson.
	She's won Emmys here, and now she reports for OWN and sings in the Freedom Song.
	Okay, so aside from a soulless co-marketing cash-grab thing, to what end did they make this song of freedom?
	What do you mean?
	What do you mean?
	What's the purpose?
	Yeah, but why?
	Usually when you get a bunch of quote-unquote celebrities together for a thing like this, there's a cause.
	Money.
	This was just besides the money.
	Obviously money, yes.
	Money's the reason for everything.
	Freedom.
	Yeah, I think that's the main reason why this song didn't hit or go viral or anything, because it didn't actually have a cause.
	There wasn't a thing like saving the children or exposing corruption or anything.
	It was mostly just a bunch of right-wing grifters whining about how they're oppressed and how their oppression won't actually defeat them and they're still going to rise up and be strong and they're going to get their freedom.
	Like, the opening of the song is the line, you can take all our money.
	And it's like, who?
	Who's going to take your money?
	You, right-wing grifter person.
	Who is going to, like, rob you?
	The evil IRS?
	Taxes?
	The most generic bullshit in the world?
	The reason why We Are The World hit was because you had a lot of stars and they were singing about the kids!
	We're trying to make the world better for the next generation!
	And that's like a universal, timeless thing that you can go for.
	And feature real celebrities.
	Oh, yeah.
	But I mean, even if you like have like hack celebrities and you're just talking about protecting children or saving the environment, just universally boring good things, you can get some traction.
	When it's just Michael Flynn being like, the government just have to get me and that's a bunch of bullshit.
	But it's like sounding like a robot saying it.
	Nobody cares.
	It's like, fuck you, Michael Flynn.
	We don't care.
	This would be like Alex Jones complaining about the globalists with autotune under it.
	Like, it doesn't matter.
	That'd be sick.
	I mean, that one song I've heard of him singing about the gay frogs is like a real banger.
	Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
	Yes.
	See, if that went viral, I would understand.
	Because, like, one would assume that the message behind it was ironic.
	So that would give me, like, an emotional thing to connect with.
	Then I could just be like, ah, goofy novelty song.
	Yeah, listen to that.
	Right.
	There's nothing to this.
	This is a weirdly dumb song that's trying to be earnest by a bunch of very un-earnest people just out to make a dollar.
	So, the fact that they don't have an actual message, and they're just whining in autotune, and they're all scum.
	As Hayley has really pointed out here, there's nobody in this group that a normal person would look at and go, oh yeah, I like the cut of their jib.
	I can trust them.
	I love the Bratfret who has DWI charges.
	You would let 4G Auto Blow babysit your 15-year-old daughter or whatever.
	You'd be totally cool with that.
	I love Pussycat Doll No.
	5.
	Dude, we gotta talk about this King Bao though.
	There's an MMA fighter in it.
	His real name is Joel Bauman.
	He's appeared on Jim Walken's public show.
	Who?
	Sorry, I know who Jim Watkins is, but he just doesn't do anything.
	So I'm sorry.
	It's just like I thought that was hilarious.
	Like, why is this guy on Jim Watkins show?
	But he appeared after he gave this like post win speech where he called out Jimmy Kimmel and he was like viral video this Jimmy Kimmel.
	He's like, I fight to eradicate childhood malnutrition from the planet.
	And until they release the Epstein flight logs, you, the mainstream media and Hollywood, you're all pedophiles to me.
	Eat a fucking dick.
	That was what he said!
	That was what he said in his post-speech, and then his post-win interview was with Jim Watkins.
	I was like, damn, this guy is, like, super pilled.
	Well, the problem for him is there's a lot of guys that are in the UFC, that are in the highest levels of MMA, who are also pilled.
	They're pilled as fuck.
	So, when you're a low-level MMA fighter, and you're doing that shit, it just doesn't carry the same weight.
	Like, Jorge Masvidal is one of the biggest MMA fighters around.
	He just retired recently.
	And Masvidal was, like, posting the QAnon hashtag.
	That guy was, like, fuckin' nuts.
	And he's cutting- he was cutting campaign ads for DeSantis' re-election in Florida.
	Yeah, don't worry, Masvidal, like, on campaign ads, going... Like, he's, like, wearing the- wearing the octagon, the UFC gloves, throwing little punches at the camera, and he's, like...
	Like, like, he's like, he's just like Ron DeSantis fights for Florida.
	The way I fought in the cage is like by losing and getting your ass kicked a lot.
	Maybe.
	Yeah, that sounds right.
	But wow.
	Burn sick burn.
	Yeah.
	I mean, you get, you get a bunch of guys on the quest to get high tea together in
	a room and you're going to, you know, you're going to, you're going to get a
	couple of conservative nut fires.
	It's just the way that's going to shake out.
	Yeah.
	It turns out that there's a weird link between testosterone and a lot of
	destructive behavior and thinking.
	It's so weird.
	Anyway, let's not talk about that.
	Don't listen to the song, anybody.
	No.
	Hard pass.
	The song is dog shit.
	It's bad.
	Moving on.
	Yeah, I wish I had a better, more current song about freedom to direct you to, but I don't, unfortunately.
	Find your best classic old song about freedom.
	George Michael, Freedom.
	Let's do this.
	Yeah, that's a good one.
	You know what, Hayley?
	You don't know what that is.
	Honestly, I forgot who the artist for that song was.
	I'll cop to it.
	That was me who forgot.
	I could think of the song very clearly in my head, of course, but I was just like, who did that?
	Yeah.
	I was more of a new kids on the block kid back then, because I was living in a house with like 16 girls at the time.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Yeah, it was very bizarre.
	I remember very little about my time, my life during that point, and I feel like I should have been old enough to form memories, so I just don't pull on that thread very much.
	But I do remember a lot of new kids on the block, and a lot of Barbie dolls.
	Very interesting.
	Anyway, moving on to our last Boosh topic, and our most Arizona-focused topic of the week.
	It's so weird how we can manage to get at least one every week, right?
	Kerry Lake, running for Senate.
	I've heard that.
	Apparently Ballard, not so much though, according to Mike.
	Of course, I don't know who that is, because why?
	But I'll let the two experts talk about this.
	I feel like you have to talk about Tim Malladay every week and you're like, I don't know who this is.
	Is this another guy that we've talked about repeatedly?
	Which one is this?
	It's the Persona of Freedom guy.
	It's the guy that's not... There we go.
	I know them by their deeds.
	I'll handle Ballard.
	Haley can handle Lake.
	So Ballard was apparently going to declare his run for the U.S.
	Senate in Utah this week, but this got derailed because he has been hit by a lawsuit from five women accusing him of sexual misconduct.
	And in their- SUCKER!
	Yeah, no shit.
	I couldn't stifle that one.
	I can think of exactly one crime he could be guilty of that would just be a little more on the head.
	I'm waiting for it to come down the pipeline.
	Trust and believe.
	Our boy Ballard apparently was paying a psychic to talk to him about what was going to happen to him in his life.
	This lady's like a through line in the story.
	She's a psychic.
	That's wild.
	Yeah, so the psychic declared that he would eventually become U.S.
	Senator, U.S.
	President, and then become the Mormon prophet and usher in the second coming of Jesus Christ.
	So Tim Ballard was literally just gonna save the world.
	Can you imagine how on the hook somebody has to be for you as a flim flam psychic to be taking swings like that?
	What's the psychic's name?
	We should find her.
	We should find her and be like, do you know what you've done?
	They would have to be the most susceptible rube you've ever encountered.
	You'd just be like, I think you're going to be a senator.
	I think you're going to rule the fucking world.
	I always saw myself a political office.
	That makes so much sense.
	But is that what my ambition is?
	It's just like, uh, wait a minute.
	No, I'm getting something else.
	You're going to be the president.
	Congratulations.
	You're going to get there.
	It's just like, but I feel like I could be doing more.
	Just like, oh my God, you're going to be...
	Emperor of the first galactic American space fleet?
	She's flying!
	Yeah, it's just... Oh my god, you're gonna be king.
	You're gonna be the president.
	Yeah, you're gonna be president.
	Back, baby, in your head!
	Boom!
	And the whole time, he's just like, he's just... You're right, I am the president.
	You're so fucking right.
	Rifling through a huge wad of hundreds, just counting it out.
	She's like, that works every time.
	She didn't know what she did, just killed the wrong man.
	Little does she know, she's creating an inevitable conflict in the year 2043 when all these people show up to the same place in Utah to battle it out to see who really is the Mormon God King.
	Just all the women she's predicted.
	Yeah, that'd be hilarious.
	That would be funny.
	They're all just like, I'm destined to be the one!
	I've trained my whole life for this moment!
	No, I'm the one!
	I've trained my whole life for this moment!
	Where are you Moroni?! !
	Show yourself!
	Show yourself, Moroni!
	Validate me!
	Prove that I am your chosen!
	This has already been an incredibly bizarre episode of the show.
	Yes, but thankfully this show got what it wanted, which is a reference to Moroni, which is what we need.
	Put it up on the board.
	We got this.
	White Claw and Moroni.
	We got them.
	Yes.
	It's our two favorite things.
	I mean, the two best ways to spruce up your summer party.
	How's that for a marketing opportunity?
	That'll just be our shirt, Miro and I, holding up two white cloths.
	I'm picturing the commercial now.
	It's just one of those, like, camera panning over, like, a party of people, like, hanging out in a backyard by a pool.
	You know, various ethnicities, everyone's representative, but everyone's beautiful.
	No fat people.
	Get them out of here.
	Yeah, gross.
	Yuck.
	Ugh.
	Ugh.
	Get out of here.
	And then all of a sudden, like, it's just like, the camera just turns over and then, like, everyone's just like, Maroney!
	Maroney's there with two cases of White Claw.
	Just like, the two best things you need for a party.
	Boom.
	Big horrible wings, fucking eyeballs in him and shit.
	Hey, it's accurate.
	You have to have the eyeballs and the wings.
	That's what Moroni looks like.
	Anyway, back to the American Senate race.
	Yes.
	No, we finished on Ballard's psychosis.
	So Kerry Legas jumped in the ring in Arizona.
	So what do you got for us on that front, Hayley?
	She's in it.
	She's in it to win it.
	But she's not going to win it.
	And she got in Gallego's face at the airport.
	They had a little dust up.
	Oh, that was so silly.
	That was so silly.
	Her team tried to like kind of hype that up a little bit.
	And it was like, everyone was just like, you look goofy, lady.
	I think a lot of people here are just tired of her.
	I keep like scrolling through comments.
	locally on just like kind of mainstream news and everyone's like can this bitch go away?
	um yeah so i don't think she's gonna do too well in the actual general but she'll win the primary
	sheriff lamb is struggling man That guy is... He's literally... He was just exposed for taking funds from the commissary at the jail that he... You know, he's a sheriff.
	And he was using that to buy guns.
	Um, which I thought was interesting because he's been having these, I'm not saying it's connected.
	I'm not saying that these raffles were the guns that he bought dubiously through the commissary, but money, but, uh, he has been auctioning off a lot of guns in his like race to be like, Hey, I need money.
	I'm auctioning off this gun.
	Yeah.
	Sometimes you have extra guns.
	Sometimes you just have a fucking ton of guns.
	No crime here.
	You know?
	No crime here.
	This is Arizona.
	No crime.
	We have a bunch of guns.
	Miscellaneous crimes.
	Our guns.
	He's going to not do well.
	But, you know, the McCain Republicans are really struggling because they're like, we fucking hate Kerry and we don't want Kerry.
	Some of them like Lam, but I think they think he's also they understand he's a little kooky, too.
	If you know him, he's he's quite My biggest problem with Lake, politically, is that the people that she's thrown in with, it seems like they're very unlikely to tolerate her for too long, because she made her bones being hot.
	And now she's getting older.
	They don't think she's hot anymore.
	She's doing the MILF thing.
	But Republicans don't want MILFs.
	Some do.
	I mean, some all men do.
	I speak as one of them.
	I have always been a fan of the older women.
	Still am to this day.
	She's doing the mom thing.
	Every speech she's like, as a mother of two, she does that every speech.
	You can't do that and also do the Trump sycophant thing because Trump does not want a mommy.
	Trump wants a doll.
	Trump wants a porn star.
	and so like the rest of her so she's just like hey i am former hot now trump sycophant and i don't think the base is going to care about her for that long because it's just like well trump doesn't care about you because you're not hot anymore and if you're a sycophant to somebody who doesn't care about you then why do i care about you He endorsed her last night.
	Her announcement.
	Was it last night or Monday?
	He just appeared by video.
	He appeared as like a Wizard of Oz type figure.
	Just a big head on the monitor.
	It was really bizarre.
	Yeah, his giant floating head was behind Kerry Lake going, I endorse Kerry Lake for Senate.
	Which one was she again?
	She's the annoying one, right?
	She's the vacuum bitch.
	Okay.
	She's the one that vacuumed my floor the one time.
	I liked that.
	She needs to shut up, though.
	That's literally what he probably said.
	She vacuumed the carpet that was on top of dirt.
	That was the weirdest thing in the world.
	That was the dustiest rally I've ever been to.
	And it's like, lady, you're not vacuuming anything.
	You're not getting that carpet clean.
	You know what?
	It was the moment I've liked her the most, personally.
	But again, I'm one of those guys.
	That's nice though.
	Um, she will unfortunately get at least the, be on the ticket, but, um, Oh yeah, she's going to be the nominator.
	Gallego will probably win, which is very funny.
	Cause he didn't, he wouldn't, he wouldn't have stand a shot a couple of years ago.
	Uh, you know, uh, he's, they think he's like progressive.
	You know, like the Republicans think he's like, they think he's like AOC too, which is very funny because he's very much not.
	He's very much not.
	That's the way they treat every Democrat.
	Every Democrat is this extreme leftist radical who imposes weird views on us.
	He's Latino.
	So it's like, oh, this guy's, you know, this guy's, this guy's a little intense.
	He's Latino.
	Yeah, Republicans are pretty fast and loose with their labeling.
	I mean, I'm still not convinced they know what a socialist is.
	Yeah, I know.
	They call them a socialist all the time.
	It's very funny.
	But, you know who they actually hosted?
	You know who the, like, McCain-type Republicans actually hosted their big dinner with?
	Like, their big, you know, campaign dinner?
	It was Chris Christie.
	Oh, thank God.
	Chris Christie's going to move to Arizona.
	That'd be the most glorious thing in the world.
	It's like, what a waste of time.
	So that's who they're putting their money behind is Chris Christie.
	They had a big fundraiser for him.
	They had a big fancy dinner for Chris Christie.
	Oh my God, I hate to cut you off, but I just realized that we goofed off for longer than normal.
	I just realized how deep into the episode we are.
	We should probably get to the new segment if we want to answer any questions.
	It was the damn song.
	Yeah, the Song of Freedom and all of my talk about how I hate sitcoms or whatever.
	Anyway, we were all culpable.
	Let's move on to the headline news.
	We can do that now then.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
	Okay, how could it not lead in the headlines this week?
	Israel was attacked by Hamas, operating out of Palestine, of course, and in response has declared full-blownsies war on Hamas, and that has suddenly thrown the world into yet another throw of global destabilization all of a sudden.
	Pretty sweet.
	Everybody loves a nice war in the Middle East to kick some shit off.
	So, you know, we're obviously going to have to cover it.
	I'm not sure exactly which parts we're going to cover, so I'm just going to throw directly over to Mike.
	Mike, what are we discussing in regards to the Israel v. Hamas war that doesn't have a catchy name yet?
	Yeah, so the main thing that I was going to get into with this whole ordeal is the fact that back in the good old days, when Twitter existed and actually let real news sources report things, you could kind of trust them to be a voice in social media to have up-to-the-minute breaking news and information about this sort of stuff.
	But then, our boy, you are- In the middle of spring?
	Man.
	Yeah.
	Spring ain't so good.
	Right.
	So then our boy Elon, through $44 billion of these people, took the place over and proceeded to drive it into the fucking ground as hard as he possibly could.
	So now being on Twitter means you are being subjected to all kinds of disinformation and misinformation about what is going on in the war at all times.
	It's pretty bad.
	Yeah.
	It's the absolute worst.
	So while we're dealing with all this bullshit about what's going on, people are frantically trying to find out, like, where do I go and what do I look at in order to get real news?
	And our boy Elon decided that, you know, I'm gonna throw a couple names out there.
	And two of the names he threw out there was War Monitor and OSINT Defender.
	Both of these guys fell for an AI-generated image of the Pentagon being blown up, not
	during 9-11, but it was recently in the last couple of years.
	There was talk about bombing that hit the Pentagon.
	Both of these guys posted that there.
	War Monitor, when people dug into him, saw that he had a bunch of anti-Semitic comments
	telling people, like, mind your business, Jew, and other stuff like that.
	And then, beyond the anti-Semitism, War Monitor also had a post where he was like, hey everybody, if you want to see all the gruesome casualties and brutal war videos, I'm creating a paid subscriber service so you can look at all that stuff, not on Twitter.
	So he was creating a gore-only fans to try to make some money off of the conflict.
	That's cool and normal.
	Thanks Elon.
	Again.
	That is who the person who owns this platform should be directing you to, to get your news and information.
	I will say, before we get too much deeper into this, for the record, both myself and I'm assuming my co-host recognize that the immeasurable human atrocities happening in the war are more important than the Twitter aspect of war, but the Twitter horseshit and Dougie Goddard is the part we're qualified to discuss.
	So we're going to do that while touching on the other stuff when appropriate.
	Yeah, we're leading with the Twitter thing.
	We deal in conspiracies.
	We're not warfare.
	We're a comedy show and not a news show, but we do have to touch base.
	I do think it is interesting how it's fueling, like, just conspiracies at the AZ-Mexico border.
	Like, a couple of far-right media came to the Arizona-Mexico border.
	Like, that Real American News.
	Fuck Ben Burquam or whatever.
	To just, like, film Brown people down there and be like, look, Hamas is also down here.
	We should kind of do the same thing.
	They're like literally begging for war with Mexico.
	So they're kind of like creating these like, you know, conspiracies down at the border about Hamas also being down there.
	Yeah.
	So, I mean, they're obviously the same.
	Mexico just fired 5,000 rockets into America the other day, right?
	And also Mexicans and Hondurans and Venezuelans are the same thing as Palestinians, correct?
	Right, exactly.
	They're all brown to me, you know?
	Right.
	I'm a real American.
	I was born here.
	My parents were born here.
	Their parents were... Well, my parents were born here.
	I was born here.
	That's right.
	The circle of hate just really hits all the All the points, you know, border conspiracies.
	Anti-Semitic conspiracies, Islamophobic conspiracies.
	It's just been a time on the timeline.
	I'm seeing a lot of fear-mongering from people like Laura Loomer and other right-wing dipshits who are talking about, hey, Hamas has their sleeper agents crossing the southern border.
	They're all in America.
	They're all waiting for you.
	Donald Trump Jr.
	posted something where he said, if you haven't bought an AR-15, you really need to do that now.
	And it's like, why?
	What would my AR-15 do to save me from a surprise attack?
	You will sense, with your precognition, the missile rocketing towards your house.
	Then you will get to your roof, and with your mighty AR-15, BRACA BRACA BRAC!
	Boom!
	Turning away from a dramatic slow motion explosion shot because you are the main character, bro.
	And that's why you need an AR-15, says the guy at the gun counter.
	Right?
	And guess what?
	After you buy this AR-15 and blow up that missile, you're going to get very popular and you're going to become a senator.
	Nay, president.
	Nay, Mormon prophet.
	Nay, king of all cosmos.
	Yes.
	Charlie Kirk tried to be like, Oh, Hamas has the same strategy as Black Lives Matter.
	They're the same thing.
	Did you see that post?
	It's just like every right-wing grifter is like, here's the group that I hate.
	I hate black people.
	I hate immigrants.
	Here's how they're connected to this situation and how, you know, it's just like, just a bunch of brilliant minds.
	Speaking right now, it's really... Just creating this brilliant, this little Russian nesting doll of hatred and anger and just finding, yeah, you just gotta, you have your outgroup, which is Hamas, and now everybody that you also hate gets tied to Hamas, so the outgroup becomes more demonized and more vilified because that's your goal.
	And anyone who shows support for Palestine, note, Palestine does not equal Hamas.
	Anyone who shows any support for Palestine is then Hamas and is then bad.
	And that's just how this works because this is the goal of these people is to create that just dichotomy of if you are not 100% against everyone that I'm against, you are a terrorist.
	That is the goal of this messaging.
	There's a lot of, like, open calls for genocide on the timeline, which is also just, like... Or just in general, not even the timeline, just in the open, in the ether, which is just, like... I mean, look, not that I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but you just rip that band-aid off, whoop, and then no more problems.
	Eee.
	People are crazy.
	People are absolutely insane, man.
	People are crazy.
	People are like fucking...
	It's always like the same...
	Like, you know, this is the same song and dance we've been doing for 60 years
	or 80 years or whatever with this shit.
	Like, it's just, like, every time anything like this comes up, a lot of hot, hot opinions start flying around.
	People's tongues just start waggling in their head.
	And it used to be that that was only contained to the people that you could get with an earshot to.
	You could only grab somebody by the collar and just be like, we should find everyone in Palestine!
	That would solve it!
	And you're just like, okay, bud, calm down.
	Or maybe you had access to, like, a newspaper and they would print your article or whatever.
	Now, anyone can reach everyone thanks to Twitter.
	And Elon Musk is the guy who's in charge of that now.
	And there used to be, like, filters in place to prevent anybody from, like, inflaming too hard or spreading too much misinformation.
	And there were, like, checks and balances in place.
	But Elon Musk is riding that fucking rocket into the ground.
	He can't wait.
	If you're a blue checkmark, you can just lie your ass off about what's going on and get engagement, and then Elon will cut you a check for lying.
	We're now actually actively monetizing disinformation on Twitter.
	The entire system is designed for bad actors to act in bad faith and then be rewarded for it by the guy who owns the platform.
	It could not be a worse system if you tried.
	It's like the absolute worst fucking thing that's going on.
	Like, right now, I'm living in these two realities where there was an atrocity of some kind that was committed against Israeli children and In these two separate realities, one side is just claiming that it didn't happen and another side is claiming that it did happen and there's no consensus.
	And because no one actually has information, we can't get the consensus.
	So it's just like, Oh my God, now we're just not going to, we're never going to be able to agree on anything.
	We're just going to actually live in two different realities in perpetuity from now on.
	It's going to be great.
	I think it's more like 50 realities.
	There is good news.
	It's a sliver of good news, but it is good news.
	This has finally shown such a spotlight on how terrible The former Twitter has become for society and how that like it's it's it's gotten like some big names have chosen this moment to just be like wow everyone's talking about how shitty Twitter is I'm I'm finally I'm out it's it's it's like a good PR move for me to publicly denounce Twitter now.
	So, you've got people who are just like, hey, I'm leaving, like, I had like X million subscribers or whatever, I was doing pretty well here, but, like, this place sucks now and I hate it, so I'm leaving!
	And you can find me on Blue Sky or whatever.
	So, it is, it's like cold comfort, but it's comfort nonetheless, like, there is some headway finally on getting Get a good one.
	out enough people out of Twitter.
	Please just allow video blue sky, please.
	Please. Yeah.
	Please. Yeah.
	Or yeah.
	Or in an integrated gift keyboard would be just like aces get a good one.
	You integrate good gifts.
	But yeah, anyway, like my problems with blue sky notwithstanding, it's just like at some point Twitter will complete its
	evolution into X where it will essentially just be the national inquirer of
	social media platforms where it's just a bunch of fucking right-wing cranks.
	Do you like shared conspiracy theories with each other and that would be dangerous
	in its own right and I'm not saying that that's going to rule or anything,
	but it is the only thing the only way you could possibly ever make any money
	out of it, which is what Elon Musk is on paper trying to do.
	Unless he's intentionally tanking it for some sort of grand tax write-off or something down the line.
	Elon turning X into a slightly more profitable version of Gab is literally his win condition at this point, which is ridiculous and sad, because that's not what he wanted.
	He wanted to be the big boy that controlled the social media thing.
	I think he's crazy now, but we'll just wait until Joe Rogan's on it.
	Then, boom, everyone's going to be like, oh shit, Elon stole Joe Rogan away from Spotify.
	Now you can only get your Joe Rogan experience on X.
	I can't message people anymore that I don't... They're, like, limiting DMs now, like, even more so.
	They already limited it to, like, 60 a fucking day, and now I can't send messages to people that were not mutuals, which is, like, can you fuck off, Elon?
	And then I haven't been able to post... I tried to post some video from our trip, Mike, and it just wouldn't upload.
	Like, the site is broken, and it sucks.
	I'm mad.
	I'm mad as hell.
	I need to reach out and put a digital hand on your shoulder, Hayley.
	It's okay.
	I actually do like Blue Sky.
	It's pretty chill.
	That's good, because Twitter is only gonna get worse.
	It's not gonna get any better, right?
	It's gonna get worse before it dies.
	Yes!
	Yeah, like, let's be honest.
	When Twitter became X, it got put right into hospice.
	I mean, there's no two ways about it.
	Like, it was a dead man walking as soon as Elon Musk decided he wanted to make it some sort of conservative crank utopia.
	Yeah.
	Because all the truly famous people are at some point gonna have to be like, uh, no.
	Yeah.
	Like, my PR team, who ran my Twitter page, told me that there are too many Nazi mentions now.
	So, I, Taylor Swift, am leaving your platform or whatever.
	Once that exit starts, there's no coming back.
	Oh yeah, I mean, that's the thing that's so funny, is you just have all these people Anyone who posts anything on Twitter who is center to left, the top 50 replies are all blue check marks calling them a demon or a George Soros-funded piece of shit.
	Or accusing them of being transgender or whatever.
	I mean, you just are creating this echo chamber where anyone who just wants to be like, Hey, I'm a nonpolitical pop star.
	My new album's coming out in two weeks.
	I hope you all listen.
	And then everyone's just like, check out this deepfake I made of you.
	Look at it.
	There's no longer any moderation.
	So I used an AI tool to put you into porn.
	Look at it.
	Yes, exactly.
	I paid for this blue checkmark, so you have to see it.
	You're going to have to scroll for a while to get to a real fan.
	Yes, exactly.
	Yeah, you're going to have to scroll.
	There's a lot of just bots.
	I'm filled with bots right now because I'm not really on there anymore, so all my mentions right now are just like bots.
	That can't be true.
	Elon hated bots.
	That was why he bought it.
	He bought Twitter to get rid of the bots, remember?
	I heard that.
	He said it!
	Elon said it!
	He said it!
	Why isn't he doing it?
	We loved you, Elon!
	Oh, loser.
	Fuck that guy.
	Almost all the people that I follow that have like solid follower count, if you click on the see more replies, they almost always have one or two porn bots who are like, would you smash?
	Like warning nudity.
	And the answer is always yes.
	Those porn bots are never posting, like, here's a naked, just obvious uggo.
	It just, like, it looks like Toxie from the Toxic Adventure.
	There we go, reference to that one again.
	Nope, it's always some hot chick who wants you to go to her OnlyFans, and yeah, it's so funny.
	And their names are always the same, but not one letter's changed, because yesterday it was Roxy, today it's Rosie, tomorrow it'll be Roxy with two I's, it's just...
	It just never ends.
	It's just this endless parade.
	And you know what?
	This didn't exist before Elon bought the site.
	I didn't have all of my favorite- Counterpoint, there are no bots on Twitter.
	I mean, X. And X is just filled with beautiful, sex-positive women.
	Yes, who just want you to go to their early fans.
	And they just want to know if you would smash.
	Would you smash?
	Would you smash?
	That's a totally authentic poll.
	I'm just asking.
	It's ID market.
	It's market testing.
	Would you smash?
	Yes.
	So ridiculous.
	It's so weird, the feedback is in and we're doing great!
	100% yes!
	So weird!
	Yeah, so strange that desperate lonely men on Twitter see an attractive woman and look, yes, I would smash.
	Were that an option?
	Yes.
	I'm totally in favor of it.
	So beyond all of just the general X problems with this shit, we also have the world of QAnon and how they're reacting to what's going on in Israel.
	And QAnon's reaction to this is basically that it's an inside job.
	That this is the new 9-11, but instead of Mossad hitting America, Mossad hit themselves.
	And that the Deep State had made a decision that We, as Americans and the world, we kind of, we gave up on Ukraine.
	We figured out that everyone was lying to us about Ukraine.
	How are they were lying to us about Ukraine?
	We're not going to explain that, but you just have to accept it.
	Everyone wised up to Ukraine being bullshit, and now that everyone figured out Ukraine was bullshit, the deep state had Palestine attack Israel, aka Israel attacked Israel, And now they're keeping all that war money flowing through, like Congress is going to approve like $20 trillion for Israel, and the deep state's going to get its war grift going, and they're probably going to fund Ukraine with Israel and all this shit.
	So they're not just trying to make understanding of the military-industrial complex?
	Yeah, I mean, I mean, yeah, I kind of get it.
	But like, I don't get it.
	They get so close to the point and they just veer off and like, they take just like a wild arrow.
	They miss it a lot.
	Yeah, you kind of see what they're doing.
	You can kind of you're just like, Oh my god, they're about to make like, like, they get so close to talking about making a good like getting to like a good socialist point.
	You don't have to hand it to them.
	But There are points in there.
	Oh, I'm not handing them shit!
	Streams of consciousness.
	I'm just kidding!
	But yeah, god, they're just so dumb in that way.
	I just love it.
	It's another way they're just immune to hypocrisy or whatever.
	Anything's a win, and if you say otherwise, you're wrong.
	So this is obviously a big win for them because now everybody's not thinking about Ukraine anymore.
	Mike, your mind is so brilliant.
	Yeah, Mike, you're really secretive.
	You know, I hadn't actually thought about it very much until we were recording this, but big loser in this is Ukraine.
	I mean, don't get me wrong, obviously the big loser is the people getting killed currently in the conflict.
	The people who are about to be genocided, probably.
	Yeah, but the next loser is the folks in Ukraine, who are also in the process of fighting off their genocide or whatever, because it's going to be hard for Ukraine to get a headline for a while while this is going on, and on top of the fact- Man, at least two weeks, you know?
	I'm just kidding.
	We're already cutting their funding and shit because our government can't get its act together, so it's just like, you know, don't worry Ukraine, I haven't forgotten about you.
	Oh god, uh, IlluminatiBot posted a thing where it was like masks followed by Ukraine followed by Israel because that's like and I made fun of it but and so is everybody else it's just this thing where These right-wing conspiracy theorists just think that the news in linear time is a plot to trick us, that we sheeple need a new current thing to invest in, and it's like, no.
	It's just news.
	It's just how news happens.
	There is usually a current thing going on, and if nothing else takes its place, that remains the current thing for a time.
	That's just life, you fucking morons.
	Well, Mike, the alternative is that After thousands of years of evolving society, we haven't gotten our shit together to the point where there's not some new horrible thing happening every week that can get covered by the news.
	And that certainly can't be true!
	We've had a long time to figure out civilization, and it's perfect.
	So there is no way that there is some horrible atrocity happening, probably at any given moment, On the planet of the Earth.
	That's nonsense.
	You can't do that.
	That would be crazy.
	It would boggle the mind to think about that.
	Exactly.
	That would make you question a lot of stuff about your moral character and where your funds go.
	Specifically your tax money.
	And if you thought about that, it might make you too liberal.
	So we don't think about that.
	We think about how great war is because jets look cool.
	Yeah.
	And it makes you tough.
	It does make you look tough.
	And you gotta be tough.
	Oh, weakness is a sign of weakness.
	I don't know.
	Exactly.
	I've always said that.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah.
	So now this whole thing, and the other thing that QAnon loves to talk about in this thing is how this is a distraction to divide us, mostly because of the fact that guess what?
	A lot of people had very strong opinions about Israel and Palestine before this happened, and those opinions are going to come out while this is happening.
	So yeah, sorry.
	Sorry everybody, but that's the way it's going to be.
	And the idea that the deep state's causing this division and blah, blah, blah, it's like, well, you know.
	That's what we call religion.
	That's what we call the in-group and the out-group, and it's been going on in humanity since we started building cities and stuff.
	Once we started domesticating animals and growing crops, there was me and my animals and my crops, and then there was you and your animals and your crops, and you were bad and I was good.
	And then we threw in religion, and you had a big, scary guy in the sky, and so did I. And one of us had to have a stronger guy in the sky, so we had to tussle to determine who that was.
	This is just humanity.
	It's not George Soros.
	It's not Bill Gates.
	It's not the American military-industrial complex.
	This is just shit that's been going on for forever.
	But QAnon are the guys who are able to see through it all, and they know what's really going on.
	And it's like, no, you're really not.
	You're just this same bunch of chuckle fucks everybody else is.
	You're just mad that your boy isn't the president right now.
	And oh man, I saw like one post where they were like, world wars are raging everywhere.
	Imagine this, Trump wins in 2024 and then immediately peace is declared everywhere.
	Wouldn't that trigger the great awakening?
	And it's like, yeah, if that fucking happened, but uh, spoiler alert, Donald Trump winning the election is not going to make peace happen everywhere.
	When he gets to the office, peace won't happen everywhere.
	He's not this, he's not the king of earth as much as you wish.
	Oh yeah, you know that Donald Trump with a wave of his hand is going to solve that fucking thousands of years of religious conflict.
	Yeah, the Israelis and the Palestinians are just like, oh shit, Trump's coming over.
	We better, better get our house in order.
	Oh no.
	Like, It's like, alright, motherfucker, who gets the mosque slash temple on the mount?
	So, with your big plan, just tell us.
	Just give us a little sneaky peek.
	Who gets it?
	Let's see how they feel about it leading up to your big decision.
	And then some Palestinian's like, wasn't Trump president for four years already?
	And someone's like, shut up!
	Shut up!
	He was laying the groundwork for his Omni Peace Plan.
	Right, yeah, exactly.
	He's like, I needed four years of development time, and then I needed to get the second presidency so that only then I could announce my parallel earth machine.
	That's right, we invented a machine that will create a parallel earth but with no people on it, and we can populate it.
	However we want.
	All new borders.
	I'll do everything.
	Everybody gets their own thing.
	Far away from everybody.
	So good.
	I'm Donald Trump.
	Enjoy my American presidency.
	I have the authority to do all of this.
	Yeah, the military-industrial complex was actually geoforming Earth-2 behind our back.
	That's what's going on now.
	That's what Space Force is doing.
	That's the ultimate White Hat plan.
	We all just get to... We get to take a mulligan on this planet and start on a new one.
	It'll be great.
	It's gonna work out incredible.
	Yeah, the second planet's going to be great.
	And for whatever reason, it's climate's going to be really different because there's not going to be a bunch of, like, buildings on it already.
	People are going to be very confused.
	Yeah, what's going on?
	Why is it, why are the, why, what's, this isn't my Earth!
	And that's what they'll go to war over.
	Parallel Earth would immediately find a way to go to war with regular Earth.
	Yes!
	They'll be like, WE WANNA BE EARTH ONE!
	It's like, but there's a historical precedent that you're not!
	They're like, WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
	Goddammit!
	We've always been at war with parallel Earth.
	Yeah, since time immemorial.
	Yes!
	That's why it's just like, every time NASA's just like, hey, we have an aliens announcement, I'm just like, Is it finally, hey, we found aliens that in theory could attack and kill Earth?
	Because that is the only news we could use.
	Because that might be the one and only thing that could get rid of some amount of global conflict on Earth.
	Is us uniting to kill aliens.
	The day we finally unite to fight the squid, that is the day we're looking for.
	I mean, that's it.
	So until NASA tells us the squid is coming, we don't care.
	Ozymandias was right.
	Yes, exactly.
	There you go, there's your reference nerds.
	All right, do we want to do some mailbag to keep it a little light and fluffy here going out?
	That does sound like a plan.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q and A. Eric Craves Brains says, it's been a week since the emergency alert system test.
	How are you guys adjusting to your new lives as zombies?
	Tired as usual.
	I lost my sense of smell, weirdly.
	But they assured me that that was only a symptom of the test and it could be nothing else.
	So I continued my normal business and breathed on a lot of people.
	It was great.
	Yes!
	Breathed on people, coughed on them, licked a bunch of doorknobs, you know, all that good stuff.
	Fuckin' talk about doorknobs, straight to the source, just licked a bunch of people.
	Did we edit out my stream?
	Did we just leave our screams in?
	We left our screams in.
	Okay, cool.
	So we have no more listeners.
	We have Eric.
	Thanks, Eric.
	We love Eric.
	Eric, Eric, Eric, who's your favorite?
	We love Eric.
	Eric, boom, our target.
	This one's for you, last listener, Eric.
	Last listener.
	Well, I posted it.
	The title of the episode, I stated that the emergency test happened in the middle of the pod.
	I did make it clear that we were going to be turned into zombies at some point.
	Content warning, we screamed.
	I screamed as well.
	Content warning, don't drag me into your horseshit.
	I was fine.
	In fact, mine came in late.
	I wasn't properly prepared for it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Elle got the 220.
	Me and Hayley got the 218.
	Yeah, that was horseshit.
	Oh, yeah.
	And QAnon immediately ran to QDROP 218.
	And then that wasn't saucy enough.
	So the military timed it to QDROP 1418.
	And then they tried to find some sauce there.
	It was great.
	And then they squared it.
	And then they halved that.
	And then they divided it.
	Well, if the number you get is wrong, think mirror.
	Just reverse the numbers.
	So if QDROP 218 is not good enough, try QDROP 812.
	Oh right, Alice and Wonderland!
	I remember!
	Yes!
	I'm enjoying my life as a zombie because it means I no longer have to care about things like sports ball.
	That means when I watch the Patriots lose 500-0 every fucking week, no longer does it hurt my soul because I don't have one because I'm a zombie.
	As a former Patriots fan myself, the Patriots are dead to us.
	It's time to go to greener pastures.
	I lived in Kansas City for a while, so thankfully I get to root for the Chiefs.
	I just get to slide right back into the besties!
	Hey!
	I lived in Vegas for five years, so every time the Bruins fucking gag away a playoff series, I get to be a Golden Knights fan.
	So boom!
	Steal the cup!
	Yeah!
	It's just us Homer Simpson, like, disappearing into the bush and then re-emerging with new sports gear on.
	Yes!
	Exactly.
	Yeah, what a bunch of fair-weather bitches we are.
	But you know what?
	Go Chiefs.
	Yes!
	Yep.
	Patriots, you were dead to me between the years of 1997 and whenever Drew Bledsoe almost died, and you'll be dead to me until you fix that shit again.
	Yep.
	Pretty much.
	That's how this works.
	Thank you for the question.
	Spencer Watson asks, do you think the prevalence of reality denying ideologies is more related to the ease with which grifters can inspire fear on the internet?
	Or to a greater decline in public trust due to greater public knowledge of the failings of institutions and government officials.
	Wow, this is way... You're asking too much of us at this time of the day.
	Please send your dissertation to my email.
	Wow, yeah.
	Way to provide us a question and just get you dunked on immediately.
	I'm not going to do your homework, sir, but I will do your homework if you email me.
	I was late, sir, to this episode.
	My brain processing power is not up to snuff for this question.
	I barely processed it.
	I'm sorry.
	Hayley was not paying enough attention to the question to know what it actually even was.
	That's true.
	What I really think is going on is that fear is a very powerful way to sell things to an audience.
	And I have noticed a lot of QAnon and right-wing grifters recently, like, especially during this whole time with, uh, after the attack in Palestine, all these guys are like, Oh, look, this is what they're going to do.
	Now that they got Israel going, this is how they're going to fund their war machine.
	This is how they're going to do X, this is how they're going to do Y, this is how they're going to do Z.
	This is how they're going to manipulate us.
	This is how they're going to do all their shit to manufacture consent.
	And you read all these posts from all these people.
	And most of the people that I follow believe in QAnon.
	And it's weird because Donald Trump has just magically vanished away.
	Q has vanished away.
	The heroes of the story have just melted into the background.
	It's all fear porn.
	It's all evil.
	It's all deep state.
	The bad guys are doing bad things and they're running this shit and it sucks.
	And that kind of operation is really what triggers the fight or flight mechanic, that fear response that gets people going.
	And once you've gotten people nice and scared and riled up, then you start doling out a little bit of hope.
	Then you start reminding people that maybe Donald Trump can come in and fix this mess.
	Maybe Donald Trump can save this shit.
	Because you need a little hope.
	You need a little carrot after you've hit him with the stick a bunch.
	Basically, you use the stick a lot, and then you dangle the carrot for a little bit.
	Then you pull the carrot away again, go back to the stick, and keep doing that.
	And you just keep people on this.
	I've talked about it.
	It's like the QAnon treadmill.
	It's the hamster wheel of fear, hope, disappointment, and then back to fear.
	And you just keep people running on that wheel and you keep them not thinking more than like two weeks into the future.
	Keep them scared.
	Keep them nervous.
	Then lie to them a little about how something might turn, turn this shit around.
	And then it never does turn this shit around and on and on and on.
	And I, I really, that I think is the main driver are like, are being concerned about the failings of our government.
	Well, Republicans are working hard to make that a reality.
	They're literally part of the system right now where we don't have a Speaker, we don't have a House of Representatives, they literally can't vote on any funding bills for Ukraine or Israel or anything until they actually fix their own shit, which they don't seem capable of.
	I think it's the former more than the latter, but there are people who are working hard to make sure that you notice, oh yeah, by the way, the government sucks and it can't work because Republicans can't govern.
	So it's just, it's great all around.
	It's absolutely fantastic all around.
	Well, there we go.
	I don't think I have anything more eloquent to add than that.
	I mean, Mike is the closest thing we have to like a, like a conspiracy theory expert on the podcast.
	I would just, you know, I could throw out a wacky pop culture trick and just be like, people are inclined to believe about a different reality than the one they live in because multiverses are hot.
	They're hot, hot, hot.
	You know?
	Yes!
	This is one of those situations, there are conspiracies already going through the fanfiction verse metamorphosis.
	I don't know if you guys are super familiar with this, but what's happening is that there's this fanfiction going on, in this case it's QAnon, and they're pulling in franchises from other stuff.
	Because they're not making any money off of it technically, so they can just steal from whatever fucking thing they want.
	And then over the course of doing that, at some point you get enough eyes on this verse that's created because it's a fucking soup of a bunch of stuff that nerds like, that it becomes more popular than a lot of the individual stuff that it's from.
	So then you get fans that are fans of a character, or fans of an aspect of a cult of this kind, or conspiracy theory in this case, who they've come to it from the verse.
	Like, they only know it through that filter.
	Like, oh shit, you're telling me JFK is still alive?
	What?
	That is wild!
	But, I never would have gotten there if I had never heard about these Kennedys that you speak of through the QAnonverse.
	And the internet is doing that to a lot of media.
	In fact, the internet and franchise culture and shit is doing that to a lot of media across the board.
	But I'm sure you don't need me to tell you anymore about that.
	Oh, no.
	Homelander's the good guy, right?
	Ellipsis.
	I mean, it's just... I mean, dude, there are a bunch of people who obviously unironically think that Homelander's the good guy in that show.
	I don't even watch the fucking show, and I know that that guy is not the fucking good guy.
	I've picked up enough from memes to get that he's not the fucking good guy.
	I love media analysis.
	The people that suck in that show are the people that think he's the good guy, and the show is about presenting to us the fact that they're wrong for thinking that he's great.
	But then there's obviously a segment of viewers that will see the version that is presented that is supposed to instill in us repugnancy.
	Because he's just like, this guy threw a rock at me.
	I blew his fucking head off with my laser vision.
	And they're like, fuck yeah, man.
	That guy, why throw a rock, you know?
	It's just like, alright, fair enough.
	You're just not going to be able to make a show for that person.
	That's who the punisher's for, you know?
	It's just like, you crossed me, now you and everyone you know and everyone you'll ever know and everyone that's ever been is gonna die.
	I mean, cool.
	And finally in the mailbag, Snorlaxcpap asks, with the QAnon grifter singing the We Are The World version of, with Flynn and Laura's alley cat screech of Won't Back Down, oh yeah, Laura Trump did the Won't Back Down auto-tuned horrible song also.
	When is the pod going to jump on the music trend?
	What song will Hellworld cover?
	We're jumping on the music trend immediately, actually.
	We're gonna have, like, a big... You know, like, we're just gonna do remakes of every song that has hell in it, like, Bad Outta Hell, Meatloaf, Hell's Bells, but it'll be Bad Outta Hell World.
	And Hell World Bells.
	Hell World Bells.
	That really rolls off the tongue.
	I think it's because it really just takes a little bit of audio editing.
	We just get the original song and then when it gets to that part we just crudely splice in us going, world.
	And then that's that.
	Oh, come on.
	Oh, come on.
	L's got a set of pipes on him.
	You can, much like the Freedom Song, you can do 80% of the heavy lifting and then me and Hayley can come in aggressively autotuned for like our tiny bits.
	Me and Hayley can sound like Mr. and Mrs. Robot as we attempt to T-Pain our way through the tiny things that L thinks we could maybe barely handle.
	We need to do something K-pop.
	Because K-pop is in, and most K-pop songs have a dumb rap breakdown for one or more of us to do.
	And who doesn't love a nice Caucasian person rap breakdown?
	Yes!
	It'll really appeal to that same base.
	I mean, look at Forgiato Blow.
	He's white, right? I think. It's hard to tell.
	He's got a billion face tattoos.
	But obviously you want that guy talking about, you know, he's just like, Yeah, I just don't think they should be talking about funny stuff in my kid's school, you know?
	And he's got face tattoos, and he's got some big fake titted lady just being like, I'm gonna suck your dick!
	He's like, yeah, you can do that later.
	And he's just like, anyway, yeah, I'm just saying.
	I think that Jesus Christ is Florida or whatever.
	All right, I gotta go do white rap.
	See ya.
	Sick.
	White rap for Trump.
	Good stuff.
	You're making a lot of people with a lot of talent look real dumb by comparison, you dickhead.
	I love that, what you just brought up, is the whole thing where these people are like, Christ is King!
	Trump 2024!
	And it's just, there could not be a more unreligious, unchristian man on this earth than Donald Trump.
	And yet, this is the guy you're photoshopping with Jesus all the time.
	I even see QAnon people bring it up, but they defend it preemptively, and they're like, God gives imperfect men jobs.
	And they're just like, oh yeah.
	I'm just imagining God, Almighty God, being like, man, who can save America right now?
	Oh, my only option is Trump.
	Fuck, gotta go with Trump here.
	Couldn't have found anybody else.
	He was the only guy I could pick out of the hat for the job of saving the world.
	Well, yeah, you just went for the most physically fit guy.
	Yes!
	And you picked him out easily in the lineup, because he's like 6'4", and like 230 pounds of pure muscle or whatever.
	Yes!
	Yeah, he's absolutely small.
	And boy, oh, what's he doing?
	He's lifting up his shirt, and oh, he's got Chinese soldier abs.
	It's over.
	Yes, he's got the Chinese tent back.
	It's the return of the Chinese tent back.
	My God.
	There hasn't been anybody that physically fit in this podcast in a while.
	Yup.
	Wouldn't it, Donnis?
	Yes.
	Oh, man.
	So, I don't really have any songs to cover, because anything that I covered would be destroyed and ruined.
	Cowboys from Hellworld.
	But that lazy route was your thing.
	I'm giving him a song.
	I'm helping us all out.
	I'm sorry for helping.
	Honestly, I think Mike Rains only knows like 30 song titles.
	They're all garbage tracks and he doesn't want to ruin any of them.
	Is there any garbage tracks about hell?
	Um, there's, I mean, there's a lot of stuff about religion.
	I don't think there's anything directly about hell itself, um, which- Wow, way to fuckin' fail us in our moment of deep garbage.
	Yeah.
	We're calling you out, Shirley Manson!
	Yes!
	As of this moment, the Vince McAvoy podcast wants nothing to do with you.
	And also, Mike Rains specifically, uh, hates your guts.
	Yeah.
	All of these things are accurate and true.
	Oh, man.
	Okay, don't worry, buddy.
	You don't need to come up with a song.
	We're done.
	You can just take us out.
	You can start taking us out, Chief.
	No, what I was going to say is, our last question is, what are you guys looking forward to?
	Well, yeah, that's why I've been taking us out.
	Our final question of the week.
	This gets us into our familiar routine.
	Yes!
	Ah, man.
	But the thing I look forward to every week is talking about Hayley's.
	We're not having anything!
	Let's get her ruined!
	Okay, you said you've got something this week.
	Why don't you lead?
	It's Friday the 13th this weekend, or this Friday, so I'm gonna get a crappy tattoo probably.
	I'm gonna go try to find one of those Friday the 13th deals.
	Just upcoming Friday?
	What date is that?
	I think the 13th?
	I hear it's a Friday.
	Yes!
	I'm gonna get one of those crappy tattoos that they, you know, they're like, $13 tattoos.
	That's funny because Sarge, I believe, does that every year.
	Really?
	I've never done it.
	Shout out to Sarge, who I know has done it at least multiple times.
	Maybe not every year, but he's definitely done it a few times with friends.
	I just want a crappy tattoo.
	You know, just something crappy.
	Just give me anything.
	Hey, it's a good day for it.
	They're usually cranking them out at a reduced rate.
	Actually, the local shop down the street from me is actually doing a Friday the 13th special.
	I will not be partaking, because I do not have any tattoos, and when I decide to get one, I think my first one is obligated to me by the power of friendship to my friend, who is a tattoo artist.
	All right, I remember that.
	I remember your sacred oath that you made there, yes.
	Uh, well, rock on!
	I hope you'll send us a picture of whatever crappy tattoo you get on Friday the 13th once it heals and isn't covered in, like, actual viscerine gore.
	You've got flesh peeling away!
	Uh, I am... Speaking of flesh peeling away, I...
	I'm excited for my sense of smell and taste to be gradually returning so I can eat the delicious flesh of many a thing!
	As I said, when we were discussing this earlier, I slammed a nice big steak and cheese to inaugurate my sense of smell returning, and that trend is going to continue on my day off, which I will be celebrating after I'm done recording.
	I'm going to get a gluttonous on purpose and play some video games.
	It's going to be great.
	Just a nice, simple, being a fat, fatty, fat-fat club.
	I'm looking forward to the fact that hockey has returned.
	So again, I get to bandwagon my Las Vegas Golden Knights, who just raised the banner for winning the Stanley Cup last
	year.
	They- Wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	I don't care if they're the defended champs.
	You gotta be on Team The Bruins until they've proven to be failures, right?
	You do still have a home team, mate.
	Oh, fine.
	I'll pretend to be on the Bruins' bandwagon, but they're supposed to go off a cliff this year anyway, so we'll see.
	But they haven't yet.
	You have to give them the opportunity.
	I gave the Patriots a couple of years of restructure.
	Yes, do it.
	I mean, you lost a legend.
	You've earned a couple of years.
	Now they have earned nothing.
	They are worthless.
	They're all worthless.
	Yes.
	So I got hockey to look forward to.
	I always give Haley shit for her Arizona sports ball teams being terrible, but I have to, uh, I have to eat my words because at this moment your, uh, baseball team, which has been actually not a real sport as Elle would immediately scold me for if I didn't bring that up, but your baseball team, your baseball team is about to upset the Los Angeles Dodgers in the playoffs, which would be awesome because fuck the Dodgers.
	They're dumb and awful.
	And they, Spend $100 trillion every year trying to win the World Series and fail at it.
	Our baseball team, you say, is doing good?
	The Diamondbacks?
	Yes, the Diamondbacks are up 2-0 in their series, and if they win one more game, they win the series against the Los Angeles Dodgers.
	This is the World Series?
	No, it's a lesser series.
	You still have many rungs to go to win the title.
	It's the climb to the series of the world for your baseball activity clothes.
	I was wondering why I was seeing diamondback colors everywhere.
	There was some Mexican bakery that was like, we're selling the vintage colors, the purple and teal conchas.
	And I was like, what's going on?
	Something's happening.
	Usually when people start getting too hype, I'm like, something's going on in the sports world.
	Right.
	Your Diamondbacks are playing tonight, and if they have to, they have two tries.
	They technically have three tries, but they're playing tonight and tomorrow in Arizona with a chance to eliminate the Dodgers to advance closer to the Series of the World, as you so described it.
	The Dodgers look good.
	Yeah.
	So that's cool.
	So good luck on that.
	The Dodgers are awful, and I hate them.
	So seeing them lose would make me laugh, especially because literally I've spent Like, Hayley's entire duration on this podcast giving her shit about her sportsball teams, and then immediately an Arizona team rises out of the muck and starts dominating while every Boston sportsball team is dogshit.
	Well, yeah, because Hayley was obviously seething with rage over the fact that her precious sports teams that she's super invested in, obviously you can just tell by looking at her and all of her sports at Kutcher Moff.
	Yeah, she loves sports.
	You can just tell.
	I'm super into sports.
	Yes.
	I'm so into sports.
	I am like maybe three, four percent into sports.
	It's a very low percentage.
	I know very little about sports.
	I like, you know what my favorite thing about sports is?
	Is that sometimes when a team wins like a big game, people go so hype.
	They just destroy the city.
	They're like, cars over.
	Victory destruction?
	Yeah, I love victory destruction.
	I think it's really funny.
	We got a lot of that in the New England area.
	People climb poles and they jump off of it into the crowd.
	The Red Sox reversed the curse the same year that the Patriots won the Super Bowl, right?
	I remember lots of rioting happening around then.
	Victory riots!
	Victory!
	Destroy your local stuff!
	I love crime.
	Who doesn't love crime?
	I love happy crime.
	You know, just people celebrating too hard, you know?
	It's just like... For legal reasons, this show does not endorse crime.
	No, I was kidding.
	That was what we call a joke.
	Yeah, we should joke about loving crime.
	Yes.
	Um, so...
	Don't send us any counterfeit money.
	It's like, oh, what?
	You guys gonna get mad that I like seeing a guy climb up a pole and jump off of it in a ceremonial dive after his team wins?
	It's fun!
	Oh, I was thinking about the victory flipping of a police car that lighted out a fire.
	That's what I think of when I think of the riots.
	That's also pretty fun.
	I mean, hey, I could not speak to how fun that is because I've never done it.
	Me neither.
	I can't speak to the fun of it.
	It's on the bucket list.
	I will say that it is fun to look at stuff on fire.
	That's just a primal human experience.
	When you see something on fire, you're like, yeah.
	I love talking about sports.
	It's fire!
	That's a good note for us to take off on.
	So let's strap on our ice skates, I guess, and skate out of Hellworld in the spirit of NHL hockey stuff for the week.
	Thank you, the listeners, so much for supporting the show.
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	Supporting the good side of whatever conflict is happening geopolitically at the moment.
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	They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation, a thing that sucks.
	Globally.
	Across the board.
	We don't like it.
	And that is no joke.
	Thank you as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
	We invoked his powerful name earlier because we were speaking about his precious Toxic Avenger.
	No social media for DJ Minimal Effort because he is more evolved than the rest of us.
	You can find the show, at least for the time being, because, you know, we have to maintain our I don't know.
	For the time being, you can still find the show on Twitter slash X at HellWorld with a Q instead of an O. You can find Mike Rains on Twitter slash X at PokerPolitics.
	You can find me, TheMysteriousL, on Blue Sky at TheMysteriousL and Hayley on Blue Sky at Arizona Right Watch.
	So, for another successful episode of the Adventures of Hell World podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, and it's my season, because I get to do this voice!
	But joined as always by my co-host Haley, aka Arizona Rightwatch, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
	Good speed, Patriots!
	Spooky.

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