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June 15, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:35:55
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #144: Trump Indictment 2 Electric Boogaloo

Trump got indicted for Big Boy Crimes and it's got everyone talking so of course we're talking about it. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Thank you.
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I'm Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined by Sarge.
Just like the software is telling me, actual Sarge is higher quality.
I don't know if I believe that.
In the mysterious hell.
Hello, my beautiful babies!
I'm also, uh, skeptical.
Press X to doubt.
Smash on that X button.
Doubt.
Not to say that you're lower quality.
I feel like all of our quality is probably about as, as like, as we're putting it out there.
As delivered, yeah.
Yeah.
We are neither overrated nor underrated.
We are appropriately rated.
We are, yep.
Prepare to be whelmed, audience.
Oh, man.
Ah, jinx.
This is just right, audience.
You know what I mean?
This porridge, fucking perfectly temperatured.
Not getting mauled by any bears today.
Nope.
I just remember the voice El used there reminded me of a bit we had a million years ago where me and El somehow became incredibly famous because we were podcasting slash YouTube trebuchet enthusiasts who very much hated catapults.
And that was just like our thing when we would come up on stage and be like, who hates catapults?
The crowd would just roar in approval.
And then we'd be like, yeah, trebuchets!
That is the projectile weapon of choice in the Middle Ages.
It's a bit that even I don't remember.
It was, it was a thing that we were just, we were just totally on Team Trebuchet for reasons I don't remember, but it was... At least for the record, I do still love a trebuchet.
Yeah.
I don't hate a catapult.
I'm a ballista man myself.
Mostly because video games are frequently lazy and you get catapults instead of trebuchets.
Yeah.
I'm a big fan of the halfway point between a cannon and a bow.
The ballista is, it's a solid third option.
I think you could potentially, like, your ballista-based media empire could have a kayfabe feud with our trebuchet media empire, and then we could all make up and sell merchandise based off our peace accord and just grow the pie higher.
I think my favorite piece of siege weaponry is probably just like the battering ram.
Just because I love the idea of it's just like, okay, you like 80 guys or however many it takes to lift this huge fucking ram, like you're all on ram duty.
And it's like, oh, a death sentence, sweet.
So it's just like, do we get shot to death as we're doing the ram?
Or do we successfully break through the gates and they get immediately cut down by the guys waiting there with their bows and their swords and their bombs and their guns and their guns and their bombs?
Yes!
Yeah.
Are we either the first ones through the wall and thusly almost assuredly dead or are we just killed not breaching the wall?
Great!
Either way, total win!
Like being the guy in the front of the shield line where you see the cavalry running towards you and you're just like, ah, yes, it's time for me to fulfill my duty of being trampled to death by these horses.
You know?
You gotta really believe in the cause that you're fighting for.
Except most people weren't in a position where they could.
Even if they didn't, it was like, fuck you, buddy.
Here's the shield.
Yeah, that's why you're on the front line there, dickhead.
I guess if you were a French surf, your options were...
Die trampled to death by this horse in a pike or die from the plague.
So, you know... See, dude, the friendship, like, more than a lot of other people figured out the third option is to just, like, literally just be like, hey, there's more of us than them.
Let's just kill them.
Let's just kill them and instill, like, and then we'll put some of us in those positions.
And then, you know, a few generations down the line, their offspring will be the ones in power that get guillotined.
And the cycle continues.
I mean, yeah, France, I mean, I know France has been around for, like, forever, but since the French Revolution, they're on, like, the Fifth Republic now.
France is not known for being tolerant of their governments.
Dude, they're always protesting, too.
Those people are just, those people are never complacent, you know?
You gotta give them that.
Yeah.
Oh, it's my favorite thing in the world when QAnon or right-wing media is like, there's massive protests in France this weekend, why is nobody covering it?
It's because there's always massive protests in France on the weekends.
It's because it's every weekend over some shit.
They're just like, we don't like the condition of our roads, shut everything down!
It's like, yep, it's time for the weekend protest here in Paris!
Same as it ever was.
And you know, it's easy for URA Americans who don't, like, pay attention to the news to think about how bad could it be?
You know, it's a French protest because the French are frequently portrayed as weak.
But I've seen a lot of footage of them just, like, hitting cops with a Molotov cocktail.
Like, it's a good thing those guys have big riot shields, because sometimes they get hit directly by the Molotov and become on fire very quickly.
I like when their firefighters were protesting, so the firefighters were fighting the cops, and that was interesting.
Just a hot first responder on first responder violence.
Just BAM!
We said let it burn!
I light a cigarette on the ashes of the city!
They had no recourse because it's like, well, you're on fire and this is very much a problem of your own making.
Like, I don't know what you did to piss off the firefighters, but generally everybody likes them over the cops.
And they're probably not going to put you out now that you're on fire.
They're the specialists in doing that and ain't going to do it for you.
I would imagine no.
Your chance is being put out very low.
If the firefighter's the one putting you on fire.
Yes.
Well, it becomes like a cool, like a weird fact.
They're firefighters, but now they're fighting with fire, not against fire.
They've gone to the other side of fire.
They're now fire's ally and not fire's enemy.
We didn't start the fire.
No, we didn't light it, but we're also currently not obligated to fight it.
Yes.
They're fire agnostics at this point.
We're hitting it with our hardest thoughts and prayers.
It's not working.
Damn.
It's so weird.
That'd be great.
I just want a big Catholicism-themed firetruck to show up and a bunch of guys dressed like cardinals mixed with firefighters come out and they just all start fraying, just rubbing their hands together and going, I'm just, like, hoping the fire goes away.
You want Catholicism-themed firetruck, eh?
Do I have the board miniature game for you?
Don't worry, we'll save you, Notre Dame!
Surely the Lord will hear our prayers.
It's called Warhammer 40K, and they have sisters to battle, and they are all Catholicism-themed firefighters.
I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Games Workshop.
Stop trying to make 40K happen.
40K is never gonna happen.
Like, 40K is currently happening about as much as I feel like culture can tolerate it.
And Lord knows they're trying to make that not true.
But I just don't think... I don't think the masses are ready for the level of goofy shit that 40K has to offer.
I just don't.
They are probably not.
Henry Cavill is our torchbearer.
And when that show comes out, it's gonna be hilarious.
But at this point, it's pretty clear that the only thing that could get it over the hump is an incredibly well-produced, animated television show with high-quality writing and some sort of very appealing art style.
Like an arcane.
You know, because I also didn't give a fuck about League of Legends, but once Arcane dropped, I was just like, dude, this show is litty-titty, and now I know all of these League of Legends characters, kind of.
And, you know, bully for me and bully for them.
Way to crush that IP, guys.
You really did it.
They did.
But I don't think some, like, chunky 40k, like, live-action thing where some, like, guy in what looks like a military football uniform shows up, takes off his helmet, it's Henry Cavill, and he goes, Time to kill space bugs!
Everyone's gonna be like, Yeah!
Because they tried that with the Halo TV show, which is a much stronger brand, and it failed very bad.
I can't argue with you in that it's a stronger brand, but it was a very bad show, so... Yeah, but I mean, like, you know, all your hopes for it aside, because Lord knows I know you love Warhammer 40k, but all of your hopes aside, if you were to shake a crystal ball and say, hey, live-action Warhammer 40k show that's coming, is it going to be any good?
I feel like, historically, the answer is much more likely to be, fucking no, are you serious?
Uh, yeah.
Oh, I don't have high hopes.
I'm interested.
I'm still gonna watch it.
I mean, I'm gonna watch that Twisted Metal show for at least an episode or two as well.
That thing looks like fuckin' hard-taught trash.
Yeah.
Ain't you a tall glass of water.
I'm more of a Hawaiian punch.
I do like how they got a big muscle fat, accurate actor to play Sweet Tooth, and then they were just like, okay, but we're just going to put Will Arnett's voice over him.
Which is terrible, because Samoa Joe is actually a really good promo guy in wrestling, so I don't know why he didn't get to do the voice as well as the body.
And it's so hard to act over someone else's voice.
Like he's trying but like he just has to make extra big gestures in that and it looks So awkward.
Also, out of all the car combat they showed you from the Twisted Metal thing in that trailer, what was your favorite part?
Yeah.
Mine was the part where they didn't show any of it.
They were just like, hey, you know what everybody's favorite part of Twisted Metal was?
When Sweet Tooth fought the Falcon from Marvel Comics inside of an abandoned casino.
It was lit.
Everybody loved it.
Yeah, it's the greatest part.
OK, vamping over.
Let's get to the real show.
It's boosh time.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
And to borrow a phrase, don't worry baby birds, we know what you want.
It's probably the whole news segment, so.
Yeah, but first we have to talk about, we have to travel back in time to a few days ago and retread the interminable news cycle that was the air quality.
Oh, the air quality in New York, man.
Remember when that smoke came in?
And anybody with a fucking camera, which is to say literally everyone on earth, decided to take pictures of it from New York and be like, whoa, look how orange it is.
Well, it turns out that I guess that was...
They were sinister.
There was a sinister hand at play.
Ooh, Mike, what was the sinister hand of fate sweeping over the New York City skyline and going, Ooh, look at the Diablo marketing!
I'm so clever!
Oh, well, yeah, Big Diablo was definitely involved in this, but on top of them was the fact that this was not climate change.
100% not climate change.
Climate change is fake and bullshit.
What this was was Soros-funded arsonists and other fanatical leftists just arsoning the shit out of the Canadian wilds.
In order to generate that sweet, sweet Canadian smoke that could rush into the northeast of America and blighten the skies of New York with, in order to then indoctrinate the sheeple into caring about air quality and thusly caring about climate change and thusly passing the draconian laws that will crush American industry and institute global communism and bring about the one world government.
Do you remember the opening, Al, you remember the opening to Captain Planet, where they're just like needlessly making pollution, seemingly for no reason?
Yeah, I think that was Duke Nukem's whole deal.
It was just like, fuck the planet, just burn it!
I'm a lunatic who hates nature!
I'm made of radiation.
Is that what was happening now?
Soros is just up there just making Smoke for no reason?
Well, the reason is to get everybody scared that climate change is real when it isn't.
And then it's literally a false flag via firestorms that are being created by the deep state in order to trick the sheep into voting for the Democrats so they can pass the Green New Deal and crush America's capitalist economy with our communist renewable energy We can see the fucking smoke!
Mike, I think if it's literally anything, it's literally a smoke screen.
It's so on the nose that I'm afraid to break your bubble, Mike Rains, but you're obviously a stupid fucking moron for believing that.
That's a stupid thing for you or anybody else to believe because what's really happening is that they're using the wildfire as an excuse to disseminate the particles that interact with the vacuna to start to manipulate our DNA.
This was the moment.
No, this was a thing I saw on some corner of the internet.
Like, with this floating around, I read somebody poking fun at this conspiracy theory that the wildfire smoke contained the secret, like, the part B to the part A that was the vaccine shot.
And now, oh, buddy, get ready for everyone to turn into Teenage Mutant Ninja Style mutant animal hybrids or whatever.
Like, it's coming.
That sounds rad as shit.
You said vacuna, and I thought you meant hoo-ha.
No, that's Vaguna.
Oh.
Okay, you understand my confusion.
It's partially because of my dialect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sorry, no.
But you don't want to get, like, Vaguna Matata, that's like, hey, I'm happy that you did the right thing.
Vaguna Matata, like, you don't want to just throw that out there.
Yeah, especially not on the East Coast.
Yeah, I mean, you know, in some places that means you're looking for a certain kind of place, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, it's the same as tapping your foot under the stall door.
Which is great, because that's like a mystery box.
That was just a test that all of you needed to take.
And depending on where your mind went when I said that, that determines your own prejudices.
Yeah, that's not on me.
That was a mystery box that's just for you.
Nobody can judge you, because it's just inside of your own ears right now.
But I just said a certain type of place.
And then if your mind went to like a furry bondage thing, or like a weird swiggers club, or maybe just a place where people touch each other and you watch, that's on you.
What are those called?
I mean, I wouldn't know.
That's not my bag.
That's why I don't go to strip clubs.
It's also why I don't, like, throw money at the window of bakeries or whatever.
Like, I'll give you the money when I'm eating that, you know?
That's... And I've had this conversation with many people bouncing outside of strip clubs.
You know what I mean, bud?
Yeah, that's right.
The dog gets it.
The dog understands.
Thank you, dog!
Tip your waitress!
Anyway.
So yeah, at least two different conspiracies over this air quality thing, which...
A lot of people on Twitter, like, so, I was annoyed by how much this was on Twitter.
I fucking hated having to read about this all day.
But, at the beginning, when people were getting in there quickly and making their good point or taking their funny pictures, like, because, you know, I must have seen, like, a hundred different people with that Diablo picture floating around there.
It's like, we get it.
It happened.
It's funny.
Like, but somebody's already posted that.
Like, you're not doing anything new.
Uh, anyway.
Some people make good points, which is to say that people of the West Coast, or people that are, like, closer to Canada to begin with, like, this is nothing new to them.
They're just like, oh, yeah, big fuck of wildfire smoke.
Because Canada's policy for this is to just, like, hey, if the forest is on fire, you, like, just kind of let it do its thing.
It's, like, you know, forests are going to be on fire sometimes.
That's just the way it goes.
And the only time anybody was clutching their pearls this time was because the weather pattern took it to New York City, where a bunch of pearl clutchers live.
And then they all got their pearls out and put them on and then clutched them very tightly.
You mean Iraqis?
With one hand, while taking photos with the other.
And I'd just be like, dude, it's like Mars!
Yeah, I get it.
It's been like Mars all day.
Shut up!
Right.
And then photoshopping Godzilla into it and all that fun stuff.
That was great the first time I saw it.
So good the first time I saw it.
Yeah, the first time I saw, there was a TikTok lady came outside in New York and she had dressed up like she was on Dune.
Oh, that was great.
Yeah.
With the music score over it and everything.
Again, music really choice.
And I didn't see a lot of people making that joke, but a lot of the other jokes like got made that people were stealing it or just reposting it like ad nauseum or whatever.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not like a fun killer or anything, but it's just, it was all day with this shit.
Especially the people that were like taking it extra serious, who was just like, oh my god, peeing out of this is like smoking six cigarettes.
And it's just like, yeah, I mean, like, I don't know, that's not that many cigarettes.
And also, like, what are you gonna do?
It's a wildfire.
Like, who are you looking to blame here?
Like, I mean, sure, like, yes, climate change is a real thing.
Tell your friends.
But aside from that, just put your mask on and just grin and bear it.
Like, it's smoke.
And the real problem with cigarettes is that they're addictive, not that smoking a few of them is bad for you.
No one went through the air of New York and is now suddenly addicted to breathing, like, soot-filled air.
Like, oh man, I need some more of that soot air!
I don't know, man, if you're one of those people who ripped off that Godzilla photo and posted it and got huge engagement numbers, you're probably just like, damn, I wish that every day was Orange New York Day.
I could steal so many memes.
I can steal so many photos and not credit the original person and post it and have hundreds of thousands of people just be like, you're so witty and clever and then you can be like, thanks, I'm on SoundCloud!
Or, thanks, I'm on OnlyFans!
And it's just like, no, we're not interested in either of those things right now.
And if you want days that look red or orange like that, you get a couple a year in Iraq.
They can just go over there.
Yeah, and sometimes they're like much more intense than that.
That shit is like, that is like nuclear red.
Like, we are inside the containment room and the alarms are going off red.
It's crazy.
Everything's crazy, though.
I mean, if I went outside right now and it was orange, I'd be like, oh, shit.
And I'd be like, crazy.
Maybe I should take a picture of this.
And then I would send that picture to my closest friends.
I would be up on Twitter and just be like, look, it's one of a thousand photos.
I don't know why they're stuck in my CrossFit bag.
I'm sorry, audience.
Anyway, more importantly, it's a very bold stroke for the new Soros to initiate.
Either that or it's the last masterstroke of the old Soros because apparently the evil empire is changing hands.
Mike Rains, what do we know about the new Soros?
The new Soros is Alex Soros, one of George Soros' sons.
And George Soros has made it official that he is moving his... The way the media headline frames it, his empire, the Soros Empire, is being bequeathed from George to his son Alex.
And now Alex Soros is in charge of what they claim is a... Everything!
Oh yeah, he runs the world.
He absolutely runs the world.
So, Soros is- they stated that Soros' net worth is like 6.7 billion dollars.
So he's really not that big of a billionaire when you- Yeah, wait, really?
That's seriously it?
I mean, don't get me wrong, that's obviously enough money where you should be guillotined, but like- Yeah, that's not fuck you money, that's fuck me money.
Like, holy shit.
But they say the Open Societies Project, which is Soros' big, that's the big thing that he uses to donate money to these organizations that try to basically get liberals and leftists elected, which makes Soros evil and bad.
Because when you become a multi-billionaire, you are supposed to give your money to right-wing groups.
So that they can elect conservatives and neo-Nazis to power.
And any billionaire who actually goes the other way is a class traitor.
And a monster of the highest order that needs to be shunned.
So, um, QAnon had been talking literally for a few weeks about how, uh, I haven't confirmed this yet, but, uh, I'm hearing that George Soros is dead.
And like that, uh, our boy, Greg Phillips from True The Vote was one of the first people to promote the Soros is dead narrative and then never got it confirmed because he's just a fucking liar who just likes lying on the internet.
And.
Now we have officially confirmed that George is alive, but also because he's moved the family business to the next generation, QAnon and everybody else can take a deep sigh of relief because they can continue hating the Soros name for decades to come, because now they have a new Evil Soros, and Alex Soros is like 37, so he's going to be around for forever.
Your grandkids will grow up hating Alex Soros.
It's going to be incredible.
You're going to have such a good time raging against this very rich person who is also Jewish.
Not that that matters to you guys at all, winky wink, but yeah.
So this is our leftist boogeyman maintaining boogeyman status in perpetuity.
Alex Jones and all the rest of these assholes are so happy.
They're so thrilled.
Yeah, they're pretty excited.
But it doesn't actually change the status quo at all.
It's just one guy who is already a billionaire is just more billionaire, and one old guy is also still a billionaire, and he's just not doing anything anymore.
Oh, the only thing that has happened is people are posting screenshots of alleged things on social media, which I have not sourced the veracity of these claims.
So since they're QAnon promoters, I don't believe them at all.
But there's, I saw a few quotes from Alex Rose that were like, Alex Rose plans to be even more politically active than his father.
Cause they're just like, Oh man, now we want to get even angrier at this guy.
So he's going to even worse than his dad.
Oh.
As if that's even possible!
How could you be worse than George Soros?
But Alex is going to try!
So they're trying to get the hate engine going early.
Although, because Alex is Gen X, basically, I mean, he's a young guy, the whole thing of, oh yeah, Soros was a Nazi that was helping to round up the Jewish people in World War II and all that bullshit, that kind of goes by the wayside now.
Have to make up new generational slander against Alex, because... Also, they love Nazis.
They need to get their story straight about how they feel about Nazis.
You can't love and hate Nazis.
Oh, they do.
They both love and hate Nazis.
I know that those are the plates that they spin, but that seems like insane.
How could anybody buy into that?
You can't take somebody seriously when they love and hate a Nazi.
You just hate a Nazi.
Or you are a Nazi.
It really is all you're saying.
It's so funny, but I see these same people that are talking about Holocaust denial and, you know, Hitler wasn't actually really a bad guy at World War II.
And then, like, three posts later on their Truth Social feed, it's...
How is America okay with giving these Ukrainian Nazis all this money?
They're so bad and they're Nazis.
And it's just like, weren't you apologizing for Hitler like five minutes ago?
What's going on?
Are modern day Nazis bad, but the historical Nazis were actually good?
Please fucking explain your pretzel logic.
Come on.
Yeah, man.
Naziism evolves over time, man.
It becomes hip and with it and current.
It's recent.
It's like those New Age rock churches where they're just like, come on in, man.
We've got free Wi-Fi.
We're cranking the tunes.
Would you like a latte?
And also to talk about Jesus Christ?
Or in this case, Adolf Hitler.
Anyway, let's move on from Adolf Hitler to a real criminal, Joe Biden.
And we, like, you know, we, we, we, we, We're real liberal guys here, but we're not above reporting other news as it cuts both ways.
So imagine my surprise this week to learn that there was some pretty irrefutable smoking gun evidence of a Biden bribe scandal from Ukraine.
Oh my god, it's so obvious and it's so totally real and they have the evidence of it.
Mike Rains, talk to us more about this juicy, legitimate evidence that's totally real.
Yes.
So much like what happened with the public, the public access tape, where Trump, Access Hollywood tape, where Trump talked about grabbing him by the pussy.
And then a few hours later, suddenly WikiLeaks is just bombing the Podesta emails down and trying to change the narrative from anything, the horrible thing Trump said to literally some shit about Hillary that ended up leading to fucking Pizzagate and all that nonsense.
After the Trump indictments, which we will get to in a little bit, suddenly out of nowhere, all this reporting came out that there was quote unquote 17 recordings.
Of course, it was the fucking number 17.
It was 17 recordings that this guy had talking to Biden, Joe Biden and Hunter
Biden about bribes, about financial exchanges they were going to be having,
and how this guy was going to give the Bidens lots of money in exchange for
all sorts of crimey crime that he was totally going to commit.
And Biden was just like, you know what I love accepting is massive
bribes while vice president.
There's nothing Joe Biden likes more than that.
And we've had a bunch of Republican elected officials and all kinds of
other people coming out of the woodwork to be like, Oh my God, like this is
truly the most incredible, like actual documented evidence you could ever imagine.
We've totally got him now.
Like the Bidens are going down this time for sure.
And then, uh, today I believe, uh, Ron Johnson, the Senator from Wisconsin was asked about these, uh, video, this recordings.
And he's like, we're not even sure if they're real.
We're digging into it.
We're looking.
We're going to see, but suffice it to say right now, we're not sure.
But we're hopeful.
We are hopeful that the recordings will be found and that they will be verified.
And then boy howdy, we'll have Sleepy Joe this time.
We'll finally have caught him.
Yeah, we finally got him this time.
We got him when he had documents next to his Corvette that he immediately turned over.
Yeah, he probably shouldn't be here.
Here you go.
Here's all of them.
Well, I mean, okay.
I'm Gabe, so have they released this?
Where's the tape?
I want to listen to it.
Do I have to go to Joe Biden's SoundCloud?
You probably will.
The actual quote from Ron Johnson was, we don't really know whether the tapes exist.
I mean, we just don't know that.
Whether this was just a bluff on their part of whoever the executive was, we think it was.
uh, Skolanski, just absolutely aggressively Eastern European name that I'm just butchering,
the CEO, the corrupt oligarch, but we don't really know. So maybe he was bluffing. We don't know.
So they have exactly as much evidence of this as I do of Bigfoot and Mothman.
Yes, about that much.
Only you don't have a propaganda arm like Fox News to broadcast, Sarge locates Bigfoot.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, they've got as much evidence as anybody has on Trump, you know?
Oh, yeah.
They're the same.
In fact, I feel like it's probably time that we start talking about what evidence may or may not exist against Mr. Donald Trump in our headline news segment, which is going to be 30 fucking minutes of just talking about Donald Trump.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
TRUMP!
I'm trying to lean backwards from the mic to hopefully not whammy our listeners too much with that, but God, I hate talking about this fucking buffoon.
Oh my God.
You and Tucker Carlson both, but you, unlike Tucker, understand the nightmare that is America and that Trump is never going away, whereas Tuck Tuck, in the days before January 6th, before Biden's inauguration, was like, just a few more days and Trump's yesterday's news and we'll never have to deal with him again.
And it's like, oh, really?
Oh really, Tucker?
That's your laser-like focus on the American political landscape.
You really thought that?
You absolute rube.
Until he took national defense secrets and showed them to Kid Rock, and then put them on a fucking stage for months at a time, and they were like, ehhh.
Yeah, but you don't have any first-hand account of that.
No, I don't.
I, Sarge, don't.
But what I do have is as much evidence as I have a big foot in that I have several photos, several very real photos, only that joke fell apart because these photos are real.
And they're also not blurry.
They're very crystal clear.
They're very clear photos of crimes.
Except they're redacted because the things in the documents are so secret.
You know what else is incredibly legitimate?
All those text messages they have from people just being like, hey, a crime is afoot.
Oh my God, a crime?
Yes, a crime.
Well, then we should probably do something about the crime.
I'm nervous about the crime.
I was a little unclear on this.
Did Trump have legal representation at this indictment?
My understanding is all his lawyers- He got there at the goal line, from what I understand.
Yes.
Yeah, he got a lawyer that was allowed to represent him at the arraignment the last possible second.
I can imagine some sweaty Tampa lawyer shows up, like, still reeking of, like, you know, stripper.
A bus stop bitch, like, ad.
No, I mean, and she's just like, sorry, I just got off of my shift.
Because she strips during the night, and then by day, she's an incredible attorney.
You sexist.
And she has some bus stop bench ads, like, that was my thing.
Yeah, it says sit on my face.
That's her advertising campaign.
Oh no.
This character's awesome.
Yeah.
I love this, I love this empowered stripper lawyer we're creating.
Single stripper lawyer, stripper by night, working by day.
Only person who'll represent Trump until she realizes that she'll probably get indicted herself.
And not get paid.
Also, never getting paid.
Our movie is like the Magic Mike version of her life, and the audience is expecting her stripper career to be what might sink her, but then eventually she gets an offer to represent an incredibly corrupt politician, so we don't get sued or whatever.
It's definitely not Donald Trump in the movie.
But you guys know it's Donald Trump.
And then she has to weigh the fat stack of cash versus her, like, is it worth pursuing her real dreams of, you know, representing orphans pro bono to take this big cash payout representing this creep?
Oh man, yeah.
To all the future Trump lawyers who undoubtedly listen to this podcast, get paid up front.
Get paid up front at least 80%.
No way, you got it.
You're gonna do that.
You're gonna be the one that gets there.
You're gonna be the greatest.
Yeah, you're the one person in the service industry he's not going to stiff.
Like somehow, someway, you're the one that's actually going to get a check that won't bounce at the end of your time working for Donnie Two Scoops.
It's going to go great.
We know that you're usually suing doctors for accidentally leaving implements inside of their patients, but now you've been called up to the big leagues and you need to get Donald Trump off of his espionage charges.
Uh, Al, how much have you seen and heard of this?
The indictment process or whatever?
I mean, not a ton.
I know it looks really bad for him.
I think I watched the Legal Eagle video on it, but I was doing it at work, so I could only pay like half attention.
If you've seen Legal Eagle, you've gotten the highlights, like where he demanded to know why his lawyer was taking notes.
That part was incredible.
I love how he was just like, I've had a bunch of great lawyers and none of them take notes.
And his lawyer is like, real lawyers take notes.
And then he's just like, yeah, but I had Michael Cohen as a lawyer.
And it's just like, that should be your evidence of a good lawyer.
Yeah.
He never took notes and now he doesn't do lawyer.
It's over for him.
Yeah.
He's a podcast host now who hates you because you are why he served time in jail for that whole Stormy Daniels thing.
I mean, I get it.
It does show at least a little savviness on Trump's part.
He doesn't like it when people are taking notes of him admitting to doing illegal shit.
Or doing it in front of him.
Although he is very willing to just openly talk about the fact that he is committing a crime.
Because Kid Rock is cool!
God dammit, I can't believe Kash Patel is getting off clean on this.
He definitely saw shit that should send him to jail.
Yeah, and that shit was so Kash, a reference I want to make every time we talk about this idiot because it's an ancient 4chan thing.
But yeah, I hate that guy's name.
It would be a cool name for a cool guy, but it is a stupid and lame name for a stupid and lame guy.
I just love the fact that the devolution grifter stole his last name and not his first name and called himself Patel Patriot.
It's like, why did you not want to be Cash Patriot?
That sounds like it's probably a lot more of an easier brand.
Then being Patel Patriot and then everyone being like you mean like Kash Patel the weird Drifter guy that hangs out with Trump and you're like, yeah, I kind of like him, but I'm not him.
It's different.
It's okay Kash Patriot sounds like the name of a rapper that's getting a lot of positive buzz in the non-white part or the non-black parts of Texas.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Kash Patriot turns state's evidence.
I have that right, right?
Cash Patriot is... there should be the name of that idiot who was doing the anti-target rap.
The Maggot Chud guy with his ridiculously groomed beard.
See, when I think of Cash Patriot, I think of, like, physical fitness, though.
I picture, like, a good old boy who, like, hits the gym so he looks like he's in Zero Dark Thirty or whatever, but he just, like, drives around in a Hummer along the border hoping that this is going to be the night where he gets to shoot somebody.
He's like, come on, let me just catch one of them in America.
I'm just going to shoot him so good.
I'm going to shoot him real good.
I'm going to be the next Kyle Rittenhouse.
It's going to be so great.
I'm going to be on that gravy train for forever.
Yeah, well, I mean, to look at him, it looks like Mr. Rittenhouse has eaten quite well.
It looks like he's parlayed his little bit of stardom from getting off murdering people, and he's parlayed it into gaining a lot of weight, at least in the face.
Yes.
So congratulations.
Karma has come for you.
It is making you look Very doughy, not unlike L. L doesn't show his doughiness in his face, really.
So you are becoming doughy in a different way to L. Get ready for your life, your sex life especially, to take a real turn.
Because lord knows Kyle Rittenhouse's sparkling charisma is going to really help him with the ladies, as it already was.
Back to the dumb conservative rap stuff, there's that idiot MAGA rapper guy down in Florida.
There do seem to be attractive women that are weirdly into... I mean, despite the fact that he just looks like a juggaloo who washed his face paint off, there are still attractive women who are just like, oh my god, it's you.
You're like that rap guy.
And it's just like, yeah, I rap about how I hate transgender people.
Oh my god, that's a sex.
Welcome to Florida!
I'll take that, Florida.
Finally, finally the podcast has come around to knocking you down a couple of times.
Finally someone was brave enough to make fun of people in Florida.
What could we say about Florida that hasn't already been said about Florida?
Yeah.
Probably nothing.
Nope.
But yeah, so we had on top of him showing shit to Kid Rock and Kid Rock being like, I don't know if I should be seeing this.
I can't wait for that.
I can't wait until they have the witness list for the prosecution and fucking Kid Rock is on it.
Oh my God. But you also, we have the, the thing that we have the transcription of, I don't know
if there's actually been audio or if someone just did the AI voice generated bullshit.
Cause I heard the audio, but I can't trust its veracity at all. But, we have the transcript of
Trump being like, Hey, if this was, if I was president, I could declassify this,
but I'm not president. So I can't declassify, but Hey, look at it anyways.
And the staff are being like, well, then we have a problem.
And Trump's like, oh yeah, I guess we have a problem, don't we?
And they're both just laughing nervously about like, this is a crime.
What I'm doing is fucking illegal right now.
I'm in danger.
I love reading those transcripts.
It would literally be like, back to back, you would just be like, this is still technically classified, so I can't show anybody.
Look at this.
Like, that would be a segue.
It'd be like, I can't show this to anybody.
Would you look at this?
Would you look at how top secret this is?
This material is so sensitive.
Like, really, really think about how sensitive it is with your eyes.
If this got out, it could get so many troops killed.
You have no idea.
Hey, put your camera phone away.
Don't do that.
Just look.
You can gaze, but don't photograph it.
It's great.
Kid Rock's latest single, Korean Missile Silo Locations, comes out and bombs the United States like nobody cares.
It does big numbers overseas.
The b-side is how we would invade Iran if I were gonna do it.
Yes, the O.J.
Simpson style invasion of Iran.
I mean, to be fair, is a document that just says, like, with drones and missiles or whatever, like, circled, like, a couple of times, does that count as a classified document?
I feel like that's how I would do it.
I want to invade this place.
How would I do it?
Well, I'd probably start by leveraging our ability to push a button and blow up somebody across the world a few times.
Let's start there.
Step one.
I'm just going to blow them up by pushing a button.
God.
Yeah, I mean, see also our proxy war in Ukraine.
It is just so magical that we elected this absolute dumber than dirt moron to the presidency and that he is just such a unrepentant, unrelenting criminal.
That he can't stop criming at all times.
It's just all crimes all the time.
I'm hearing people complaining now.
They're like, yeah, they're got him for this, but they haven't got him for any of the stuff he did while president.
And it's like, so what?
Like the man's a perpetual crime machine.
He'll probably commit three more crimes next week.
He just, he's never been told no.
And he's never been held accountable for anything in his life.
So the fact that he, The fact that the government was like, yo, Donnie, give us the documents.
You really shouldn't fucking have them.
Just give them to us.
And then Donald Trump was just like, yo, lawyers, is there any way I can keep these documents and obstruct justice with them?
Because I really don't want to give them back.
And the lawyer's like, no, please give them back.
And he's like, but what if I say I did and then didn't?
What if I just fucking crimed?
Yeah.
And the lawyers were like, well, we can try to help you with your criming, but it's a bad idea.
And Trump's like, I don't care. I want to crime. I want to crime so hard. You have no idea.
I'm like, you're leaving the last juiciest nugget out.
Because then after that, he escalated to what happens if we just make them disappear?
He was like, what if there just were no documents?
You know what I mean, guys?
Or just take out the really bad ones.
Just pluck them out.
What if it turns out that the documents aren't there?
And it's just like, okay there, Chip.
You know who must be kind of like fuming mad right now?
Uh, either, well, two people could be fuming mad.
Either one, it's whistleblower guy who chose now to either heroically tell the truth or blatantly lie about, uh, the existence of UFO materials in the government's possession.
Or Donald Trump.
One way or the other.
Because either it means, A, aliens are real, there's no fucking way they told Donald Trump about it because he would spill the beans to everybody.
So now Donald Trump is sitting there fuming mad because he's like, he's just like, what the fuck is this alien shit?
I don't know about this!
Or, B, fake whistleblower guy, because Donald Trump's mere existence is just like, there's no way the government has access to alien technology.
If Donald Trump knew about that, it would literally have, he would have told Kid Rock about it the next day.
He would have picked up the phone in Area 51, and he would have been like, Kid Rock, dude, I'm looking at a UFO right now, it's so sick, you don't even believe it, buddy.
Yeah, I saw that joke that wasn't a joke, and I was like, yeah, that is, man, either our government, like, Either the Secret Shadow Council knew that Trump couldn't keep his mouth shut, or we don't have any alien information.
I think I saw a tweet that was about how he would have made a sur story about the alien overlord if he had known they existed.
He'd have been like, Tachyon the Vile came up to me with tears streaming down his eyes saying, sir, you're the greatest president in this galaxy, in this quadrant, no one's better than you.
And he was like, yes, yes, Tachyon the Vile, I truly am the greatest of presidents.
If it really is the aliens yes thing, it'd be great if they just don't, like Independence Day, they just never tell any, they never tell any of the presidents.
So like all the living presidents are learning about it now because of the whistleblower.
I remember I was just sitting in his room just like, UFOs?
What the hell is this?
Nobody told me about these UFOs.
I remember vaguely something about Jimmy Carter saying he was going to do some declassification of UFO shit when he got in the office and it just never happened.
Like Carter gets in the office like, hey, what about those UFOs?
And some guys just whisk him into a room and like, yeah, we're not talking about that.
It's the same people that fucking cuffed and stuffed and disappeared that Las Vegas family, allegedly, that sure seems like they decided to hoax a little UFO thing and it got way out of hand and they were just like, you know what, we're done talking to the media actually.
Or the government got to them, depending on who you want to believe.
Oh, I always want to believe the government did it.
It's much more entertaining that way.
Jesus.
I mean, absolutely, yeah.
But I mean, like, you know, at some point, like, I'm not, like, a QAnon fanatic.
At some point, I'm going to be tired of being edged, and I'm either going to want to get off, or I'm going to want to get off.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
Exactly.
And now, supposedly, Logan Paul says he has UFO videos.
We'll get to that when he shares.
For now we have to keep talking about Donald Trump because it's the covenant we've reached with our audience.
We can only stray off the path for so long.
So I saw 37 counts and 38 counts.
I don't think it makes too much of a difference.
37 is the number I'm seeing but it may actually be Just the Trump counts, maybe the 38th count is his buddy, uh, who, yeah, his chauffeur, his chauffeur, his body man, all these, all the different terminologies they've used for him.
Nwada, I have no idea how to say the man's name.
I'm terrible at names.
I apologize to everyone for butchering it, but yeah, the poor guy who was like the box handling guy.
That's not Kash Patel.
Like that guy who, no, this guy's box Patel.
That's yes.
Exactly.
Box Patel.
Not Cash, Box.
Oh, poor Box Patel.
You are in a peck of trouble, and they're probably trying to get you to flip, like, ASAP to save yourself.
Uh, BG Dubs, like, they have so much evidence, I don't know what you could do, but it would probably help you if you, like, testified against Trump also.
Yeah.
He's just like, I have the PTA.
I knew this day might come, so when Donald Trump paid the Russians whatever they wanted, probably a bunch of these secrets they stole to get the pee tape, I made a copy of it because he handed it to me and said, put this in the bathroom or whatever.
And I was just like, you got it, boss!
Put this in the safest part of Mar-a-Lago, aka the stage or the bathroom.
One of those two places.
Bury this in the secret grave safe.
Why does such a small woman need ten people to hold her casket up?
Just give me one other reason.
You can't.
Checkmate, idiot.
And the staff called them the beautiful mind boxes?
What the fuck was that about?
Oh God, I didn't hear that.
Is that true?
I mean, I would imagine that, was Trump trying to a beautiful mind at the document of those boxes?
Did they see him doing stuff like that?
It's in the indictment, his staff, they have testimony of the staff saying, Hey, so he wants us to move the beautiful mind boxes, and so that's what the staff at Mar-a-Lago called them.
Oh, God.
I mean, to me, that implies that somebody walked in on him with a bunch of those documents, like, spread out or tacked up, like, looking like he was trying to do some sort of big mental calculation.
Because that's the most famous part of a beautiful mind, if I recall.
Yeah.
That was like the Russell Crowe, like, doing calculations in his window fog or whatever?
Yes.
That and the hot blonde lady who explained game theory to him.
Those were the two important things.
Yes.
Yeah, unfortunately, I mean, I saw that movie once and, you know, it bums me out to say that I don't remember the attractive blonde lady, I only remember the Russell Crowe.
I just remember Russell Crowe being kind of crazy and imagining a man and a little girl.
I think he had a third, like, person living in his head as well.
I mean, dude, it's hard out there for a Russell Crowe.
And it's also hard out there for a Donald Trump, you know?
Especially when you have, like, your pool boys or whatever actually busting in on you when you're trying to get your grid work together.
You've got everything spread out and you're like, what does it mean?
I just love the idea of Donald Trump as some sort of, like, mastermind super genius trying to decode geopolitical issues in our world through classified documents while he's not in office.
He's, like, prepping for his return to the presidency in 2024.
Then this, like, staffer walks in and he's like, No!
You've disrupted my concentration!
Oh, my beautiful mind!
Oh, and I have to start all over again!
Now I'll never bring peace to the Middle East!
Jam you!
That would be the greatest excavation of all time if he was literally just like, Ah, my beautiful mind!
You ruined it!
Pack everything up into the mind box!
Yes!
Put this mind box in the bathroom with the others.
Yeah, no, I definitely did not make that up.
That is in the indictment.
Oh, that's so good.
They're the beautiful mind boxes.
Yeah, so our media has decided to prognosticate and talk about this little thing that happened where, like, you know, the former president of the United States is now being indicted.
Well, most of our media.
Most of our media.
But the New York Times decided that their front page was going to be a picture of Donald Trump majestically strolling down a flight of stairs.
Slowly, but it's a still picture.
You can't see that.
And the backdrop behind Trump is the back fin of the plane with an American flag wrapped, waving on it, or painted on it looking like it's waving.
And the headline reads, Momentous scene in Miami as Trump pleads not guilty.
Which, man, alive, New York Times, is this a Trump campaign rally?
Did Trump stop by Miami to shore up his support in the state as he goes against Biden?
Yeah, it turns out no matter how momentous the scene was inside of the court when he made his plea, nobody would know because everyone was like verboten from taking any photos or whatever from inside there.
We have no idea how majestic it was.
I'm assuming courtroom sketches may have already come out if such a thing is there.
But otherwise, we can use AI to imagine a doughy, orange Donald Trump slumped over a microphone going, no, I'm guilty.
Or possibly standing up and going, no, I'm guilty.
And, you know, his sweaty lawyer who just touched down from their flight from, you know, wherever.
Like, just frantically shoving blues papers into a briefcase.
I painted you the picture in the New York Times.
Momentous.
Yes, the most momentous.
And also not literally, apparently a campaign ad for Trump on the front page of the New York Times.
Meanwhile, Fox News decided to post a crylon on the bottom of their screen during yesterday's affairs, stating, quote, wannabe dictator speaks at White House after having his political rival arrested.
Yeah, I saw that.
That's fucking wild.
Just going straight whole hog.
Joe Biden is basically Hitler, and he's trying to turn America into a one-party hellscape by crushing his political rivals via this totally unsupported indictment, which, oh my god, maybe we shouldn't say these things after the whole Dominion thing, but maybe we have to, because our audience demands it of us.
But just imagine what happens if it turns into a one-party system, Mike.
Healthcare for everybody.
Education becomes easier.
Infrastructure gets built and maintained.
People have rights, even if they happen to be trans or gay or whatever.
Or not white.
Don't get too crazy.
It's all anecdotal, but Rhode Island and Montana have the exact same population within a thousand people and vote on very different directions.
And you can just look up how those states fare in terms of, like, education levels and crime and immigration.
Yeah, but the people on the other side of that coin, they don't give a shit.
They don't give a fuck.
Nope.
Not in the slightest.
Yeah.
So, originally when this was all happening, we had our Republican primary field basically standing shoulder to shoulder with Donald Trump and declaring what was happening from our Department of Justice and Jack Smith to be just a bridge too far.
This is unacceptable.
This is political persecution.
All of us Republicans, even though we're running against Donald Trump, we stand with Donald Trump.
And then the whole proceedings and arraignment happened, and suddenly Chris Christie found a little backbone, got on the television, and started telling everybody about how Donald Trump's kind of a piece of shit, kind of sucks, and he's kind of a crook.
Maybe Trump's not the best play for the Republican Party.
Maybe we should be looking elsewhere, like me, Chris Christie, 2024, gonna get 5% of the vote, if that, if I'm real lucky.
But, and then we also had Tim Scott also going to cap out at 5%.
Tim Scott came out and was just like, this, this indictment, not great, not great.
And we're seeing Republicans gently putting a toe in the water about maybe this indictment is our attempted off-ramp from Trump.
Maybe we don't need to stick with him now that his obvious criming is obvious.
And as QAnon promoters have posted about yesterday's festivities, there were some folks out there who said Ron DeSantis hasn't tweeted at all today.
Don't trust him.
So this is kind of the big moment.
Is Trump's quote-unquote biggest rival, aka the guy he's like clobbering by 30 or 40 points in all the polls, does ol' Meatball Ron decide that now is the time to actually finally lean back and throw his little fist towards Trump's bequeathed skull and finally take a swing at him and talk bad about him?
QAnon and the rest of the people that are already mad at DeSantis, they're waiting.
They're waiting to see if Ron's gonna try to use this opening to go after the God Emperor or not.
Speaking of QAnon, what's their take on the whole sitch?
5D chess?
Is Sora's winning?
How's it going down?
Okay, so the QAnon thing is fairly interesting because on the one hand you have the people that are trying to Find a way to justify how Trump's like still winning.
Because that's really where their mentality is always at.
They've got to be winning.
It's got to be good.
The other side is that this is actually happening to Trump, and this is a bad thing.
But Trump being the superhuman, just Jesus-like figure that he is, Is enduring all these slings and arrows is accepting all this abuse upon him because America has to be woken up to the two tier system of justice in America and that Trump's persecution is triggering the Great Awakening.
So while these are real charges that are being levied against him via the real president and his corrupt DOJ, Trump was ready for it and is steeling himself for it.
And it is creating a groundswell of popularity around Trump that will send him back to the White House in a landslide victory in 2024.
And then we will finally get our justice and our victory.
We have the two different tracks where we have like quote unquote, shadow president Trump is orchestrating all of this stuff and none of it means anything and don't worry versus this is the shadow war between the deep state and Trump and they are fighting each other.
But Trump's got the winning hand.
Trump, it might look bad, but it's not bad.
And he's got this, he's got this in the bag.
He's going to figure it out.
And also, and their favorite thing is that Now that they've indicted Trump, we can indict Biden.
We can indict Obama.
Now they've opened the door.
Now that they've made presidents legal for arresting, we can arrest all the bad presidents along with Trump.
Yes, you could always have arrested any of those presidents if they did what Trump did.
If any of them had... Or if you just had evidence of them doing anything.
Yeah.
Any crime?
Because that's the thing that this Trump case has that a lot of other alleged stuff against presidents don't have.
It's an overwhelming amount of evidence.
Yeah.
We're talking multiple different first-hand accounts with receipts, text message exchanges between people, sworn affidavits, lots of photograph evidence.
It's just piled high with evidence.
We literally have the timeline of Trump and the FBI arguing over giving back the fucking shit and then finally getting raided.
Just everything, literally everything we've seen for the past year and change has been leading up to this moment where they handed out an indictment.
It was like, here's the indictment and here is the mountain of evidence you already knew about, now in legal form.
Now in legal form for you to read.
The evidence has been so oppressively oppressive for so long that the Trump supporters' main defense to the whole situation was, you can't indict him.
He used to be president.
Now he didn't do it.
He used to be the president.
He's immune to crime.
He can just do what he wants.
That's the thing that's so funny about this is that I haven't heard Many people I'll have to say, I was going to say anyone, but there's one line of defense which claims, Oh, the presidential record act exonerates Trump and it's all good.
Like that's, that is the only quote unquote thin legal read I've seen anyone try to float out there.
95% of all the people defending Trump are just like, look, all presidents just steal documents.
This is specifically targeted at him.
It's unfair.
This is an unfair prosecution, but they all do it.
They all crime this way.
It's just they're singling out Trump for some reason because they're afraid of him.
They're afraid of the mega fury.
No, they really don't all cry over this way.
They don't all take nuclear defense secrets home with them once they're out of office.
Sure they do.
And they store them next to their, like, you know, industrial grade copier or whatever.
Yeah.
And next to their... in their ugliest bathroom in the world.
Yeah.
Oh God, our dumb orange boy has worked so hard to get himself nailed on this.
I can't wait until the fucking Georgia indictment comes down.
And because I remember the foreman, the foreperson from the Georgia jury, the grand jury that like put the indictment list forward.
She said that the tape we got where Trump was like, yo, find me exactly the number of votes plus one I need to win again, Georgia.
That wouldn't be conspicuous or anything.
Update.
Georgia declares Trump wins by one.
Ain't that interesting?
Yeah.
But, uh, she was like, oh yeah, there's more audio tapes.
It was even worse than, you know, so when the, when the August, they say he's going to get indicted in that in August.
So like when that comes out and there's like literal tapes of Trump just going, look, Georgia Republicans, crime harder for me.
I need more criming.
It's just gonna be like, Jesus fucking Christ, will it ever end?
No, it won't.
He's just gonna be on tape, in texts, everywhere, for the next year plus, just criming.
It's gonna be hard for him to run a campaign when he's fucking constantly having to go to court.
Yes.
Now, if he gets, I don't know how fast this is all gonna move, but man, a lot of this evidence seems pretty, how you say, slam dunk.
If he gets convicted, can he still run for president?
Yes.
Even if he's convicted of a crime.
W.E.B.E.
Du Bois or Debs ran for president from prison.
He's still, because, uh, uh, W uh, W E Bade, uh, Du Bois or Debs.
Yeah.
Debs ran for president from prison.
That was like the fate.
That's like the parallel that people are talking about now.
You can run for president as a convicted criminal.
So the Michael Cohen, the Hush Money, Stormy Daniels thing, that trial is going to start in March of 2024.
So, like, that's going to be kind of in the early part of the Republican primary.
So we're going to see where his big boy crimes line up for that.
Because that was the thing that I was reading that was kind of interesting is that The Cohen case will definitely be done by the general election or by the, yeah, by the general election.
It'll be done by November.
So the thing that there was, there was this article where like Republican strategists are worried and someone was saying, well, he may not get convicted of anything until the Republican primary is over.
So how do Republicans try to square that circle?
Cause it's like, He's winning in the Republican primaries, and then he gets nailed of all these convictions when he's one-on-one against Biden, and then it's just like, fuck, what do we do now?
How much of a flight risk do you think he is?
Because I keep going back and forth, every single minute I change my mind on how much of a flight risk he is.
Zero percent.
Fleeing the country would be admitting defeat.
Oh God, I want him to flee so badly.
I don't care.
If he spends the rest of his days exiled and hungry, I'm okay with it.
Because it'd be the funniest thing in the fucking world if Trump just flew to Russia or something and just hung out with Putin for the rest of his miserable life.
And just gave a bunch of interviews talking about how he got run out of his own country after being president by the corrupt Joe Biden.
Yes, exactly!
He does occasionally.
And you know what?
If he does that, we need to commit right now on the show.
If Donald Trump goes that route, we need to dedicate time on our show to just be like, yeah, you know what?
We did do that.
Go fuck yourself, buddy.
And you know what?
Look at how strong we are, Republicans.
We cannot be defeated.
Don't even try.
Stop your useless struggling.
We have defeated your God-centered exile.
Trump does occasionally listen to other people.
That's why I keep flipping back and forth on him being a flight risk.
Because, man, it just feels like there's a chance- When has he ever listened to anyone?
Then he says it's his idea.
So you're speculating that he listens to other people.
Look at this and he does.
I just, I just think it would be really funny if one day he, if this federal case just took a bad turn on him and he turns on Fox News and they're like, Biden up 15, Biden winning Texas.
And then he's like, fuck it, gas up Trump force one.
We're going to Moscow.
We're fucking doing it.
Like if he just, if he just actually thinks his whole ace in the hole of becoming president to avoid jail.
If he suddenly just thinks that isn't going to work out for him and he's just like, fuck.
Oh, if he goes to jail, do the Secret Service have to watch over him in jail?
That's been, oh God, I've seen so many think pieces about that on the internet.
I mean, I just kind of think he got to get a house arrest or they have to build like the Magneto prison for him where he just like hangs out in his own little like quiet cell with the Secret Service around him.
Must be nice.
I mean, I guess being the president does really make you do a lot of shit.
Yeah.
Must be fuckin' nice.
Must be fuckin' nice.
You know what else is nice?
Our mailbag.
Oh, look at you stealing the fuckin' segue!
Fine, I'll do it.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
It's okay.
I was ramping up to a pretty indecent joke, so it's probably for the best that we segwayed away from it.
Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld's Grand Inquisitor says, Imagine you open your very own queue-themed roadside tourist trap.
What do you name your attraction, and what is your gimmick to get those sweet, sweet road trip tourist bucks?
The Looking Glass.
Yeah.
Looking Glass is really good.
That's really solid.
I think I might call it, like, Q and U, and I'd have all these, like, cardboard countouts of, like, Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Flynn, all very much prominent, so you can get photos of them.
But you'd also have, like, snickering teens, like, taking your logo, and then, like, doing little drawings of Q, like, being in you, you know what I mean?
Q in you.
Jim and Ron's basement pizza.
That only targets us, the ironic anti-QAnon people.
You have to be more pro-QAnon with your Arcturus trap here, because we're trying to get them in the door to let us grift off of them.
It's Comet Ping Pong is the name of the attraction, and it's a full recreation of the establishment, but there's one of those big Cartoon rope snare traps around it, like a big like suspiciously bent over tree next to it.
And our Comet Ping Pong has a massive basement with just all kinds of dangerous looking stains of ichor on the ground.
There's a slide.
So the point of the attraction is that we attract all the all the all the pedophiles.
And then they show up, and they set off the snare trap, which rips the top half of the building off, leaving just this basement foundation, and then you, the person, the proud American Red-Blooded Patriot, you are just at the lip of it with your gun.
It's B-Y-O-G, because, you know, stuff is expensive, but, and then they're just like rats in a trap, you know?
You got him.
You got him right where you want him.
Time to bring Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, who I guess is getting fully cancelled now.
I mean, not like because he did like a Me Too or anything, but I mean like Marvel is just like, hey, a bunch of weird people have taken The Punisher and kind of ruined him, so we're just not going to do The Punisher anymore.
We were okay with cops getting the wrong impression about the Punisher, but now that everyone's got the wrong impression of the Punisher, that's a bridge too far.
So, yeah.
Well, I don't know if you heard about this, Mike, but there have been rumblings inside of conservative circles that the Punisher might be gay.
Oh.
Yeah, so that's a wrap for you.
The Punisher has fallen.
Whoa, he has the Punisher's wallet, oh god.
They were just like, yo, I saw him blow away 12 mobsters in an alleyway, but I could have sworn I had seen like a trans ally pin on his jacket or whatever, it's nasty to him.
No, we'll go broke, just like Target Punisher.
Boom, yeah.
More bomb threats for Target.
Go back to your fucking Bud Light, you pansy.
Oh god, I just love this shit.
People are posting stuff where they're like, Andrew abides America, everyone drinks a Bud Light and goes to Target.
Yeah, that's what normal people do.
Yeah, that's America right now.
Right.
Great.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I wish people were still kneeling in the NFL so it could just be like, Joe Biden's America.
People go to Target to pick up their Bud Light and they drink it while watching their football game.
Am I right, guys?
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, what a bummer.
Yeah.
Doesn't sound at all American to me.
Yeah.
Oh, you woke Americans with your Bud Light and going to Taylor Swift concerts.
Why are you giving us everything popular?
Why are you such bad negotiators in the American divorce?
Why are the liberals getting all the good parts of America in the divorce?
If we were famous enough to get like comp stuffed or whatever, and they offered the podcast Taylor Swift tickets, we would probably go.
That's not like a hard sell.
It depends on where we're at.
I don't care how free the tickets are.
I'm not going to see anybody in the nosebleeds.
Especially because the big shtick for a couple of her performances this time around was, hey it started raining and instead of cancelling she just performed in the rain.
Can you imagine having, like, nosebleed scenes?
You're sitting there, shivering, like a shivering, covered in fucking rain, watching, like, the Jumbotron behind a tiny Taylor Swift.
Or is it?
Who could say?
You're so far away, it could be anyone.
I guess if we were in Chicago, we could have seen her eat a bug on accident.
Oh, that was the greatest thing, is that, uh... Look what you made me do!
Boom.
Actually, some QAnon promoter posted that video.
I love them because they're always like, all these normies are so into the minute bullshit that celebrities do.
They're so dumb and stupid.
And then when Taylor Swift ate a bug, they immediately had a video clip and they posted it and all of QAnon had a big laugh.
No one's more celebrity obsessed than they are.
Well, they're just rubbing it in our face, Mike.
Oh, right, yes.
Because in case you didn't know, Taylor Swift eating a bug was a reference to that time in the first Indiana Jones movie where a character eats a bug, and that character's name was Moloch.
They're rubbing it on our face, man!
It's so obvious, man!
Oh my god, I was just like, bwaaah!
Oh my god, an explosion, man!
Dude, I'm so fucking pilled, you have no idea!
Holy shit, what's happening?
Ain't nobody talking about that Taylor Swift bug eating.
I've got the real D code!
Bug Ops.
Yes!
Bug Ops.
Oh god, someone actually fucking said that Trump did the water drink comms again.
I guess Trump had another tough time getting a bottle to his lips.
So, it has to be comms.
Yeah, he's a... He's a doddering old man.
Like, I genuinely hope he dies in prison, in whatever white collar prison they send him to, for multiple 10 year concerns and sentences.
I can just say something so brave.
I'll stand by that statement until the day I die.
I hope Trump dies in prison.
Man, Sarge really going out on a limb there.
Boo, boy, man.
You know what?
If we're taking swings at it, I hope Trump dies in space.
I hear no one can hear you scream there.
No, no, I have it backwards.
They're everyone's family.
Space family.
Fast 11.
Space family.
In space, everyone's family.
Oh god!
It's Fast11, colon, space, family, colon, get fucked, lost in space, parenthesis, that family.
He comes back from space driving a car?
Like, how is that possible?
Dude, Rainbow Road!
Oh!
Man, we're really getting it.
Since you two have a Trump dying thing, I want Trump to die in the middle of a campaign rally just so QAnon has 75 years of conspiracy theories just of Pruder filming his heart attack as he slowly walks away from the podium and then just goes to a knee, then just crumples.
And then them doing chest compressions, and they're like, that Secret Service agent was killing him!
They hit him with a dart, and then the guy came over there and broke his ribs on purpose.
No way that the guy would be CPRing him in Morse code?
CPR cobs?
For the record, I don't want Trump to die from violence in prison.
I want him to die from neglect in prison.
And let me remind, for the record, I do want Trump to die from violence in space.
Again, I don't know how that works, but I want Trump to die by violence in space.
Let's go.
There's a movie about that.
It's called Alien.
Just 500 billion tardigrades.
Just tear them apart.
Just water bears in space.
Just skeletize them like little piranhas.
Maybe he heroically gets up there and leads the charge for a Space Force mission.
The aliens that were landing in Las Vegas that were totally real.
They give him the old offer, join the military or go to jail, so he has to join Space Force, even though he's quite old.
And they just send his ass to Mars!
Get Trump to Mars!
Leave him there!
We can get Elon in on this, this works.
We can bang out a script by Friday.
Send Elon to Mars too!
So, thank you for the question that we totally lost the plot on.
Much appreciated.
Thank you.
There was a question?
No, that whole thing was my attraction.
Yes!
That's what you get when you go through the living glass, baby.
Pancake Peasant asks, what is your best gaming hobby shop experience?
I ran a hobby shop for a few years, so that was my best experience.
I was owning one and having people play Magic the Gathering and other stuff inside of it.
That was fun.
It was a cool thing to do, but I was very poor at running my business because I was a giant moron.
It was a good time, and it was a good community.
That was my game.
Back then I was heavily invested in the Magic the Gathering, and so just spitballing with people, building decks, just working on stuff, and all that kind of stuff.
It was definitely a different time in Magic when the internet was smaller, and decks weren't just solved immediately.
Yeah, I mean, I know that Mike and I were both playing Magic back before the internet was really, literally anything.
I mean, I guess the Dojo was up and running at some point during that tenure, but I think we both even got started pre-the Dojo.
Oh yeah, we were pre-Dojo.
My favorite moment, or my biggest moment on the Dojo was some guy, it was either Regionals or States, I forget which tournament it was, but He scrubbed out, I scrubbed out, and we were playing each other in a meaningless round 8.
We both just didn't drop.
We were like, I'm here, I might as well bang out every round I can get, just for the DCI points or whatever.
And this guy accused me of cheating on the dojo, just outright.
He didn't go so far as to say I cheated, but he did say, I guess if you want to prevent cheating like a pro, you gotta spot cheating like a pro.
And I didn't even hear about it, and then the next time I went to a magic tournament, like my weekly magic tournament, when I showed up at that hobby shop, they were like, oh, look at you, the cheater!
And I was like, what?
And then they showed me, and then like, they told me to go online that night and check the dojo, and then I found the article, and I was like, what the fuck?
I think you were there, in fact I know you were there, when the Lord of the Rings card game was out.
And I was playing in a local tournament and I didn't know that I was sitting across from the guy who was like, I think, like in the top five in the state, like in their, whatever their ranked system was.
And I was some rando scrub that didn't care about Lord of the Rings, was borrowing somebody's deck and playing in this tournament because it happened, it was happening in my town.
And then I smashed him and I caught him cheating in the middle of the match and I just let him get away with it at the time because I knew that I was smashing him so hard that it didn't matter.
And then afterwards, I remember going up and talking to you about it and just being like, yeah, I kicked that guy's teeth in.
And also he was cheating and I was beating him so badly that I just let him do it.
And then we found out that, like, losing it because of like 120 rating points or whatever.
I just love the fact that he's so behind the eight ball in that game that he's just like, fuck it, it's worth cheating at this point.
I gotta do something so I don't lose all my rating points to this guy.
I think it was one of those times where I was just like, where he was just like, okay, it's time to get to the Minds of a Warrior or whatever.
And I was just like, okay, well, here's my Balrog, because that always happens.
But also, if you have the Nuthead, here comes my Troll Keeper and the Cave Troll.
And so I was just like, I have the best.
Boom.
The best dude.
I have a couple stories.
I was also there with Sarge when he opened the, were you going to say this?
The celestial, like, tiger mount or whatever for the WoW party.
That was in your LGS.
You were just like, let me get one of those packs of that thing.
That guy looks so sad because he was about to start cracking packs from the store and I bought a pack of Darkmoon Faire and opened Celestial Tiger or whatever it was called.
Spectral Tiger.
And then sold it for $1,000.
Score, baby!
Definitely the most high value card I've ever opened to date, no questions.
When I lived in Omaha, I was playing a game of Friday Night Magic, and it's when Magic still had ratings, and you had ratings, and I beat some kid, some like shitty teenager, and he got so salty.
I was playing Mono Black Vamps, I don't remember what he was on.
And he got so salty, and I found out later he was the Nebraska State champ.
So his fucking rating took just an absolute dumpster after losing to me, a guy who played occasionally at FNM.
When I worked at a game slash comic book store, I just remember this kid was this like teenager was just ignoring his girlfriend, who was like, basically, they were going to the beach clearly.
And she was just like, come on, let's go.
And she's just like, incredibly hot, just all over him, like, let's go to the beach.
And he's flipping through the Yu-Gi-Oh!
binders.
And I just go, no, you're done.
And I cut him off.
No.
You don't need Yu-Gi-Oh singles.
Take your hot girlfriend to the beach.
Get out of here.
You're cut off.
Get out of here.
I'm going to save your life.
I had a lot of fond memories, a lot of them which are made up, of course, because this is a comedy podcast.
And oftentimes we will say things that are not true for the sake of comedy, which is my segue into my hilarious bit where I claim to have done acid and showed up to an overnight magic pre-release.
And that was a fun time.
I definitely wasn't there with you for that one.
All this reminded me, because I also played some of the Lord of the Rings game before they destroyed it, and my Lord of the Rings moment was I was playing a deck and my opponent was, their deck was sputtering.
It was not working properly.
They were not getting the proper protectors for Frodo.
And then my little tiny Moria Orcs swarmed over him and Frodo was overwhelmed and I bested him in the game.
He looked at me and said, good game.
And then he just, like, as he angrily scooped up his cards, he yelled, a monkey could have done that!
And I was like, yep, whatever, man.
Sorry.
Sorry you lost.
Oh my god, Mike.
I can't believe I forgot this, but you telling that story reminded me of what has to be my favorite LGS memory.
It was when I was 13, I think, and I was playing the Pokemon card game.
And I was a large child, for the record.
Like, even at this age, I was about six feet tall, and I was probably over 200 pounds.
I was just a big kid.
I'm sitting there, and I'm playing against this little kid or whatever, and I end up beating him, and I think he was getting one of the rules wrong, and I wasn't correcting him because it was not my job to correct him.
So I beat him, and then I think his father noticed what had happened, like, rules-wise, and got angry at me, and he was just like, you should be ashamed of yourself!
A grown man playing a child's game!
And I was just like, I'm only 13!
And I gave him the double thumbs down log raspberry.
I was like, I'm only 13!
Use your mighty brain and imagine what the Disney Lorkana tournaments are going to look like coming up.
I mean, who knows?
They're getting sued by Upper Deck.
They might never happen.
Oh, are they?
No!
Did you not hear about this?
Upper Deck Entertainment is suing them to get a juncture to stop the release.
It's a whole thing.
But it's not a thing for our podcast about QAnon, unfortunately.
No.
Okay, so thank you for that question.
Man, we are getting some riffy questions this week.
Dan Coleshill-Jones asks, is it all really as bad as it seems?
Uh, I mean, if you're Trump, yes.
Everybody else.
It's kind of like this sort of gets to the root of your belief system as a person, right?
I mean, if you're like a pragmatist or a cynic, the answer is probably just like, yeah, probably
worse.
But, you know, I like it.
It's hard to argue against the hopeful people who are just like, nah, man, like we're making
progress.
We just need to start making it faster.
Any day now that progress is just going to start happening faster.
That's where I try and live.
Before I go paint a mini, like.
Anytime I get two in my head, I'm just like, alright, I'm gonna go paint.
I just try to acknowledge how bad things actually are, because the answer is still pretty bad.
Life is actively dangerous for trans people right now, in a way that's fun and fresh and modern and backwards at the same time.
Ooh, so fresh!
Regression!
It's in this decade!
I try to make my personal life better so that way I've been like more of a position to just sort of like, you know...
Spread it around, like get to an opportunity where I could just like start doing small acts of good and it's not like affecting the bottom line, like fucking up my life.
So, you know, I like to I like to think that it can get better, but it is pretty bad.
I mean, it's it's like it's pretty rough.
There's like one of our one of our candidates for president could be running from house arrest after being indicted on actual espionage charges.
Oh, yeah.
You know, that's not a good look.
It's hard to spend that to just be like, these are great.
Yeah.
Yeah, with the fact that we have a major political party in this country who is going to nominate one of the two people who could be president, and that person is almost assuredly going to be a convicted criminal on some charges, and that party is not going to be able to unhinge themselves from that guy.
Law of averages.
Yeah.
And that guy's going to have like, I don't know, anywhere from like a 30 to 15% chance of having everything break his way.
And he's the president again, and we are fucked.
I mean, that's all terrifying, but at the same time.
I do feel like progress is moving forward.
I think what I mean, because I'm, I'm in the political weeds and all this shit, but one of the things that really encourages me is there's all these like charts of as generations get older, they get more conservative.
And then suddenly Gen Z is actually becoming more liberal as they're getting older.
Cause the youngest people in America are just like, we're getting a raw deal.
We're getting fucked.
Like all this bullshit you people have been doing to us.
No, it's this ain't working for us, buddy.
So they're just like, actually, we don't counter, we don't accept the status quo.
We're not okay with how things are.
We want more change, even as we're aging.
Because, like, the current situation, no, it's not good.
You have no idea how fucking progressive and liberal I want shit to get.
Like, don't even, like, I'm just also a bit of a realist.
Oh yeah, me too!
I know where we have to start to get to where I want to go.
And we're probably not going to get to where I want to go in my lifetime.
What self-respecting liberal wouldn't want all of the progressive shit, if you could just wave your hand and make it happen?
Just ignore the realities of life.
Everything they want sounds incredible.
Yeah, it all sounds sick.
Sign me up for all of it.
Now, how do we get there?
They're just like, immediately?
I have deeply offended some of my liberal friends where I'm like, we should just legalize all drugs.
You obviously have to get a prescription to get the harder shit.
And if they show you a video that's like, if you do this stuff, it will fucking kill you at some point.
Cause it's really bad for you.
And I'm just like, cause illegalization does not stop it.
Like regulate and tax this stuff.
And I've, I've been like the only person in the room and everyone's like, no, you can't legalize meth.
It's so, and I'm just like, well, making it illegal doesn't stop it.
But I mean, I am crackling with crazy liberalism, and yet I'm the most boring, milquetoast Democrat politically, because that's the only way I'm going to get anything achieved.
And I'm okay with having advanced the ball 12 yards down the field during my lifetime.
I don't need the 50-yard bomb to Randy Moss.
To happen in my lifetime, because it's probably not.
It's probably not.
So I take what I can get.
And that's how, like, the real world works.
And it's just really funny arguing with politics, with people on Twitter, and they're like, the Democrats should annihilate themselves and give away to the progressives.
And it's like, who are the progressives?
How would they form this party?
How would they win any races?
Like, please, like, make that happen.
I want to live in your world.
Get me there.
And they just can't.
And then there are Putin apologists, and I'm like, oh, okay, I see what kind of quote-unquote left you are, so that's great.
Yeah, and they also don't seem to understand that, like, you know, going that hard that fast would fire up the opposition.
Like, you, like, I mean, you do, sometimes you do let the opposition fumble their own bag.
I don't like it, but look what happened after we elected a black president twice.
They went fucking- it energized the base and they went hard in the other direction, and we now know, basically as hard as they could get.
Like- Oh yeah.
So, I'm not saying it was wrong for Obama to get elected.
He wasn't even stunningly progressive- well, he was pretty progressive, but he didn't get as much done as I would have liked.
But, like, Trump has set us back at least 30 years, and so, I don't know.
I don't like it, but it's the system I exist in.
Right.
So thank you for the question, and our last question from the mailbag is, my McHugh mother-in-law keeps mentioning Antarctica and the weird stuff happening down there.
What is their theory about Antarctica?
Nazis.
Their theory is that as the Germans were losing World War II, they created a secret base under the ice of Antarctica to continue the Third Reich.
And there's even a story, like there's this great bit of fiction about a military expedition being launched to Antarctica and it was beaten back and then every Bit of evidence for it was like censored and silenced and you can't even talk about the failed exhibition to Antarctica because that would reveal the truth that the Nazis and their superhuman experiments and monsters and robots actually rule the South Pole and that someday soon the Nazis will burst forth from Antarctica and conquer humanity.
Good thing that doesn't make a wick of fucking sense.
No, but the Ice Nazis are a real thing.
There is, oh god, it's like Above Horizon, I'm probably getting the name wrong, but there's this movie that has my boy Jordan Sather in it, and Ice Nazis are a big part of that movie.
I love the Antarctica Ice Nazis.
If I recall correctly, this is one of those conspiracy theories that has roots in reality, which makes sense.
Partially more appealing than a lot of the other stuff, because didn't the Nazis have actual bases in the Arctic?
They had a weather monitoring station?
Yeah, they had some stuff pretty far north, obviously, because that's closer to Germany, and that's feasible.
But the idea of them having the Third Reich preserved at the Antarctic seems a little crazy.
Above Majestic is the name of the movie, that's it.
They had a couple, we found some weather monitoring, unmanned weather monitoring stations that for a little bit we weren't totally sure what they were, but they were just to monitor the weather.
You find fucking Nazi kit up in there that could see imagination going and then eventually they become like Antarctic super Nazis.
And that way, their set of Stardusty experiments can be what you use to justify when big pieces of ice shelf break off and start causing the entire ocean to rise because it's totally not global warming.
Why would it be?
You're not wrong.
QAnon is amazing at being able to... They don't play hopscotch.
They just, like, take massive, like, pole volts.
Like, with their logic.
Not one square at a time.
Weird.
Like, we're taking this rocket to the moon.
Like, woo!
Yeah, by the time the East Coast boys are up to their ankles in rising seawater, hopefully Q&O will be a distant memory.
But if not, long live Emperor Trump, I guess.
Yes.
And so finally, what are you guys looking forward to?
I've got a couple of things that I'm actually looking forward to.
Not this weekend.
But next weekend I get to go see Alkaline Trio and Fallout Boy.
And, you know, if that's not to your taste, more power to you.
But I think it's going to be a pretty good time.
A good enough time that you're using it now instead of next week when it will be like only a few days away.
Yeah, next week I have something else I'm looking forward to.
Painting yourself a new corner.
Oh no, coming pre-prepared.
Wow, what a time to be alive.
Man, I don't actually have anything specific that I am, like, that excited about currently, which is sort of a drag.
Well, I mean, I have something small.
Tomorrow, a friend from out of town is coming in to visit me.
We're gonna go get dinner and drinks.
So that's gonna be fun.
But, you know, nothing too spicy, like, pop culture forward, as is my usual sort of to-do.
Yeah, this weekend when I'm not working, I'll be in on the DC Duel Force beta weekend because I got a beta key, so I get to play some Duel Force.
It's Magic the Gathering with a slightly better resource system, and it's apparently kind of fast.
How long did it take you between applying for the beta and getting in?
I applied for the beta key like a week or two ago, and one streamer that does Marvel Snap and he's been trying to do DC Duel Force, he posted on Twitter, he's like, did anyone just get a beta key?
And then I just checked and boom, I did.
So apparently he knew that an influx of beta keys was going out at that moment.
So that's when I got it.
So I get to play it this weekend.
So that'll be fun.
I like playing, because Marvel Snap's fine, but it's just, it's kind of Pokemon-y.
There's not a whole lot of depth to it.
The main kind of like big play you can make is anticipating your opponent playing a card and trying to counter it.
There's just not a lot of like moves and counter moves on the whole in that game.
This game feels like it's got more keywords, more resources, more stuff.
So I enjoy that.
So that's gonna be fun.
And beyond that, just celebrating my Las Vegas Golden Knights winning the Stanley Cup by beating the shit out of the Florida Panthers.
Fuck you, Panthers, you goony goons that screwed the Bruins out of their run in the playoffs.
Boo, we hate you.
Yes.
But you got what was coming to you, and listening to all the people screaming about how the NHL is rigged, and Vegas doesn't deserve this, and blah blah blah.
Always.
Just cope and seethe, everybody else.
Cope and seethe.
Because, yeah.
Vegas won the title, I lived out in Vegas for five years, so I'm allowed to celebrate it, and that was fun.
And they beat the shit out of Florida, too, in the final game.
9-3.
That is not a score you hear in hockey very often.
So that was- The times they are a changing.
Yes.
Hockey is getting more high scoring.
I hope so.
I hope there's like routine 10-piece nuggets next year in the NHL.
Just putting, just people getting smashed from double digits.
Wow.
10-piece nuggies.
Never heard that one before.
Well, as it relates to the hockey or sports in general.
Well, MMA and boxing, people love it when a guy lands a combination now.
So they're like, oh man, he hit him with a three-piece and a biscuit.
And then you watch the video and it's three punches and the guy goes down.
So one would imagine that that originated in UFC or MMA or whatever, because it's like, in theory, much larger and more zeitgeisty.
But I have only heard that term in fighting game community, the FGC.
I've heard the term two-piece and a biscuit.
Yeah, I do wonder if it's passed over.
Yeah, as far as I know, they're the ones who got salty to go mainstream.
Now everything is salty all the time, always.
So yeah, maybe the UFC people stole it from the fighting game community, because I've seen it, like, it's omnipresent in UFC commentary.
Wombo Combo came from Smash Bros.
Yes.
Anyway, enough of that horseshit.
On that note, it's time for us to gallop majestically on our proud steeds out of Hellworld for the week.
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Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
Still no social media for them.
What a lad.
However, you can find our buddy Frosty, who does all of our voiceover work, on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
You can find the show that you're listening to, Adventures in Hellworld, on Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. I am on Twitter, at HellworldL, spelled the same way.
Sarge is at SargenHell, and Mike Rains is, of course, at PokerPolitics.
So, for another successful episode of the Adventures of the Howard podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by the enigmatic Sarge, and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
And you should be ashamed of yourself!
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