Trump's about to be indicted again. We talk about JStew's newest lawsuit. The Mueller She Wrote Stolen Valor, PGA/LIV Tour horror show, and YouTube being cowards. All that and plenty of banter! Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ | |
| ♪♪♪ Content warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I am joined by probably the only veteran who's not using stolen valor in a disinformation podcast. | |
| It's Sarge! | |
| I don't understand that reference, but hello from the internet! | |
| I'm taking it back to that thing I used to say. | |
| It's, uh, Mueller, she wrote, had a giant ordeal. | |
| There was this huge expose about how the lady behind that podcast is, like, stolen valor, and the things she claimed happened in her military history are not true. | |
| So, boom! | |
| Screw you, Grifters! | |
| We have a true vet who didn't lie about his fucking record! | |
| You love to hear it. | |
| Yes, and I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle. | |
| Wagwan, beautiful babies. | |
| Yeah, classic Mike Rains. | |
| Forgot to mention that during the boosh, that thing that we probably should talk about because it's really funny. | |
| We were like, we were brainstorming and we were just like, anything to talk about this week? | |
| And then we got like literally 30 seconds into the show, but he's just like, oh, there's one I forgot. | |
| And instead of bringing it up later, we're going to bring it up right now during our intros. | |
| Well, it was just warm. | |
| And the best part was we had technical difficulties before that. | |
| And during those technical difficulties, Mike Rains also brought up the the live | |
| PGA merger, another thing he fucking forgot to mention at all | |
| when we were discussing what we should talk about in our Boosher headlines. | |
| And he was just like, oh, now that we're now that we're sitting down | |
| to try to record the show, and I'm literally just resolving a technical situation. | |
| How about that PGA thing? | |
| Anyway, OK, it's time for us to intro ourselves. | |
| Man, that QAnon fucking podcast crazy stolen valley thing is wild, right? | |
| anyway I bike raids what's going God Did I take fucking crazy pills? | |
| You did. | |
| You absolutely did. | |
| I guess there's more to talk about than we thought, guys. | |
| Just a touch. | |
| A skosh, maybe. | |
| Perhaps. | |
| Okay. | |
| Well, at least it gave me something to start to kick off our banter about. | |
| Yes. | |
| It was incredibly wild. | |
| Also, I just had mad blood sucked out of my body, so get ready for an even loopier than normal owl. | |
| I was just like, yes, my doctor told me to come here to get four vials of blood pumped out of my body, and they were just like, interesting, because another doctor has you down here for four other vials. | |
| I was like, vials it is! | |
| All the vials. | |
| The easiest way to lose weight is to take the blood out of your body. | |
| Yeah, dude, I'm bad shrimp. | |
| Although I replaced it right away with a buffalo macaroni and cheese pizza. | |
| Oh, that sounds delightful. | |
| Because the area I live in is the land of milk and honey, if those were two ingredients in buffalo chicken. | |
| In my area, they have buffalo chicken, pretty much everything that can be buffalo chicken. | |
| It's incredible. | |
| The other day I was at a grocery store, not a restaurant, not a food truck, not a food cart, an actual grocery store that accepts EBT and everything. | |
| And they had buffalo chicken egg rolls available. | |
| They were just like, would you like these? | |
| We make them in-house. | |
| I was just like, what the fuck is going on? | |
| Oh man, it is nice to just have crazy flavor wherever you want it to be. | |
| Like, I don't know what it was, but I had a revelation, I don't know, like four or five months ago. | |
| I was like, you can actually get like fresh cupcakes from the supermarket. | |
| That's incredible. | |
| It's like so wild. | |
| And then I'm just like, oh wait, all supermarkets do that. | |
| This is totally normal. | |
| I'm being blown away by just the most mundane thing in the world. | |
| Yeah, I mean, I feel like cupcakes have probably had a pretty strong foothold for a while. | |
| I mean... A handmade buffalo chicken egg roll is a little spicy. | |
| It's sort of far afield. | |
| There was a couple years ago, I think it was like 10 years ago, cupcakes were just like fucking everywhere. | |
| All those cupcake shops opened up and then like... Hot take, I'm glad corona killed them. | |
| I hope the people that had all those restaurants like ended up like, you know, fighting their footing and doing fine. | |
| I don't wish any ill on them, but I do hate an artisan cupcake. | |
| Oh man, I am here for the artisan cookie wars. | |
| Cookies are fine, because they're never globbing a huge fucking dollop of horrifying frosting on the top of a cookie. | |
| They always put too much frosting on. | |
| Way too much, dude. | |
| It's like the same diameter of the cupcake it's sitting on. | |
| Yeah, it made it impossible to eat as a bite. | |
| Like, I had to take the giant thing of frosting off. | |
| That's kind of how I feel about a lot of crumble cookies. | |
| Cause like crumble, like a lot of crumble cookies are good, but the ones with like excellent extra frosting and chocolate glaze and slime, it's like, I want the cookie. | |
| If I wanted all this other stuff, I would just get a cake or something. | |
| Well, no, here's the point. | |
| And it was brought up to me. | |
| Let's be honest. | |
| Crumble cookies are small cakes. | |
| You are buying a small cake. | |
| You're not buying, you're buying a small cookie cake. | |
| You're not buying a cookie that you can eat, like, from a bag. | |
| You're buying a small cake that you might need utensils to eat. | |
| But some people have, like, local alternatives and I'm jealous of them. | |
| Psych, I don't have to be one of them. | |
| One of those people is me. | |
| I have a local alternative to that. | |
| But I know that, like, when I used to live out in KC, there was, like, a local place that did that jive, right? | |
| It was, like, delivery cookies until 3am, like, onto your door. | |
| Yeah, Insomnia Cookies. | |
| They're a chain. | |
| They're not obviously everywhere, but they're... Oh, so they're like a small sort of local thing or whatever? | |
| Or are they small but nationwide? | |
| Because I never heard of them. | |
| I think they're small but nationwide because someone else was talking about them at their college. | |
| Probably somewhere else in the Midwest. | |
| No, crazy. | |
| The one I have near me is like truly like a local business. | |
| They're not open as late, like they usually close around like midnight or whatever. | |
| But yeah, you can holler at them. | |
| For my recent birthday, they had my favorite flavor as a specialty cookie. | |
| It was some sort of like, it was like banana and like white Oreo pieces. | |
| And like, it was delightful. | |
| I love banana. | |
| Banana's incredible. | |
| Why did they even bother making more fruit? | |
| Well, I mean, God made the banana to prove his existence and to terrify atheists. | |
| Dude, I mean, to be fair, once you train yourself to do the banana the right way, like the way the monkeys do the banana, and you realize that the banana truly is just like the most delicious fruit and it comes individually wrapped for you with a handle and everything, it's just sort of like, look, I'm not going to say it proves God exists, but I am going to say that it's like a mighty convenient fruit. | |
| Yes! | |
| Like, you know how tropical fruit includes, like, coconut and pineapple and banana? | |
| Those things could not be more different. | |
| The banana is the most convenient fruit of all time, and coconuts and pineapples are potent nightmares. | |
| Yeah, I looked at a pineapple and was like, let's try and eat that. | |
| Yeah, and the coconut was just like, I bet if I just, like, take objects and smash this thing, the inside of it will be delicious. | |
| Like, apparently humanity was just incredibly hungry all the time and thusly invented all forms of violence to obtain food from things that should not be eaten. | |
| That was just great. | |
| I would imagine that they saw animals like eating them in some form or fashion and just | |
| being like, I see these can be eaten. | |
| Although the coconuts wild because it's just like a climb up a tree to get what looks like | |
| a rock covered in hair. | |
| You're like, oh, I can't wait to crack this open. | |
| It's gonna be so good. | |
| Well, and there's even more stuff. | |
| Like when you see a like a real coconut, there's a lot that you don't eat. | |
| Yeah, it's I mean, yeah, the coconut season. | |
| But also like once you get inside, it's pretty nice. | |
| It's got, it's got a little pocket of, like, water in there to hydrate you. | |
| It's got, like, some nice, like, it's got a good flavor to it. | |
| Don't get me wrong, I love a coconut. | |
| I'm just saying, a banana's the king of fruit. | |
| And, to me, personally, You know how, like, they burned the Library of Alexandria and lost, like, thousands of years of knowledge? | |
| That is the second most tragic thing that ever happened in history in terms of, like, losing something as the original banana. | |
| The fact that I do not know what the original banana tastes like is horror. | |
| Like, I hate it. | |
| I hate it so much. | |
| I wish to God that somebody will find one of those seeds that we could bring back the OG banana and I can experience it. | |
| This has been Produce-ile, our podcast within a podcast, where we talk about our favorite produce. | |
| Bananas goated, fight me. | |
| I don't think a lot of people will. | |
| I know a lot of cats that are just like, yeah, bananas are fine. | |
| And I'm just like, I don't get it. | |
| Like, I don't know if they're so good. | |
| My go-to ice cream order at the place up the street is bananas, peanut butter, and marshmallow. | |
| Honestly, now that it's the summer season, I am confronted with the fact that weirdly, despite being originally from the South, I do not and have never liked watermelon. | |
| It's the texture. | |
| I like the flavor, but the texture, for whatever reason, it just hits my mouth real wrong, and I hate it. | |
| So never have we had more disagreements almost bordering on fights me and my partner then she's very like focused on texture eater. | |
| And like, she's like, I don't like the texture of beef. | |
| And she was like the other day. | |
| She's like, I don't know if I like the texture of chicken anymore. | |
| And I was like, I guess we'll just die then. | |
| It's just fish, then. | |
| We're down to just fish. | |
| If you take out chicken, we're fucking dead. | |
| We're gonna die. | |
| You have to keep liking chicken. | |
| I can't subsist on fish and tofu as my only proteins. | |
| Maybe you'll have to move on to alligator, which every time I've had it, has reminded me of the exact halfway point between chicken and fish in a way that I think is very unpleasant. | |
| But I don't like fish. | |
| I mean, I'm not a fish fan. | |
| I don't like, I'm not a huge fan of fish flavor or texture. | |
| Like, and when it comes to fish that I do like, you know, that I'll sit down and be like, oh, I'm going to eat some fish. | |
| It's like the world's most, it's like the pumpkin spice latte of fish. | |
| I'm just like, let me get some fried cod or whatever. | |
| Fishman platter from Long John Silver's. | |
| Let's fucking go. | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| like that's that's the one thing that is like specifically seafood and a little | |
| weird for people who typically don't like seafood to be into but I love a | |
| scallop oh yeah see I love those too yeah anyway see it's not just about | |
| produce now we're talking about what fine fish we enjoy but I feel like we've | |
| been for long enough we could get it to our amuse bouche it's time for a light | |
| sampling of insanity get ready for the amuse bouche okay well we'll start with | |
| ones that we had written down and we'll move to the ones that Mike Rains dredged up in | |
| Mike made up! | |
| Yes! | |
| So let's start with our first Aboozboosh topic, which I have written down here as student sued, because our good friend Jay Stew is on the wrong side of a lawsuit. | |
| For more information, I'll turn it over to Mike Rains. | |
| Mike! | |
| Good friend, Jay Stew. | |
| You know, he's fighting the good fight, and we love him. | |
| He hates QAnon, so therefore we are definitely friends with him, and he is totally cool. | |
| So what's going on in his life? | |
| So, Cash Patel, QAnon grifter, and general scumbag Trump bootlick has hit Jay Stew with a $10 million defamination lawsuit because Jay Stew has called him a Russian agent and all sorts of other bullshit. | |
| And Cash is sick of his shit and is going after him. | |
| And this is basically because Jay Stew He took the Michael Flynn lawsuit so unseriously and was just like, whatevs, and just like threw it in the trash. | |
| He only hired a lawyer like the day after his deadline to file a, to basically file his side of the story. | |
| Cause like, you've been sued. | |
| Now you have to go to the court and be like, okay, I acknowledge that I've been sued. | |
| This is why me being sued is bullshit. | |
| You're supposed to do these things. | |
| And Stu was basically looking to default himself immediately. | |
| He was trying to do the Alex Jones speed run on this thing. | |
| And then at the last second he was like, you know, a default judgment would probably suck. | |
| I should actually engage in this lawsuit. | |
| And Cash Patel saw that Stu was being a huge dum-dum with Flynn and was like, fuck it, I'm gonna hit this guy with a lawsuit too. | |
| So... | |
| Cash's lawsuit is more bullshit than Flynn's, but it's all because Stu just doesn't want to acknowledge reality. | |
| And he and his crew have this bizarre theory that, oh, if they take us to court, we'll just sue them back. | |
| They'll be so scared of the countersuit. | |
| They'll drop their lawsuit because they know we got the goods on them. | |
| Because we know that Flynn made Q and he's Of course that's what they believe because, and I've said this before and I'll say it again, the people who like support J-Stew | |
| Their core beliefs aside, they behave exactly like QAnon supporters. | |
| They 100% just behave exactly like their enemy. | |
| It's like a weird feature that they're just like, yeah, we're going to really get them and all of our tactics and all of our complaints and all of our talking points are going to be just the liberal coded playbook for them. | |
| Liberal coded Q playbook. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| It's just that. | |
| And much like QAnon, they will never be dissuaded from their beliefs. | |
| There's nothing that could be shown to them that would make them think, Michael Flynn didn't start QAnon. | |
| Michael Flynn is not the big bad of this operation. | |
| They just have to believe that some super big bad started this shit. | |
| It just wasn't a LARP on 4chan that got popular via bullshit. | |
| I mean, I've mentioned this before. | |
| There were so many anons before Q. It's like, it wasn't, this isn't even like Q was like unique or broke new ground. | |
| It was just literally everyone was on the chins when if they weren't posting Nazi shit or lolliporn, they were just like, hey, I'm from Hollywood and you wouldn't believe the shit that's going on here. | |
| You wouldn't believe it. | |
| Or, hey, I'm, I'm from the FBI and oh my God, it's so terrible what they're doing to these kids. | |
| You don't get it. | |
| And, These people would get an audience every now and then, and then they would just run out of LARPing material and vanish away. | |
| And that was it. | |
| It was just a cue at forward momentum from building an audience and people buying into it too much. | |
| And it snowballed. | |
| And that's it. | |
| I mean, but the idea that any state disinformation operative network, the KGB was like, you know what we need to do? | |
| The 75th Anon on 4chan. | |
| That's the one that's going to break wide open. | |
| Well, it's like what people who talk about superhero movies are just like, oh, man, super movies like proved that they were market successful, like could reach a big audience and like do good numbers with the release of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man in 2002. | |
| And it's just like, y'all, Blade was an R-rated superhero movie that did like Big numbers relative to its budget in 1998 and it was about a guy who kills vampires so it's just like let's not pretend like this was the impossible mission you guys are making it out to be. | |
| In the Michael Keaton Batman movies the first two like were not R-rated but did numbers and were pretty dark. | |
| Yeah, but that's like a different era, you know, because during the 90s, superhero movies became like a huge joke and were terrible. | |
| So it's just sort of like everybody, everybody wants to give Sam Raimi's Spider-Man credit for being the sort of like superhero renaissance. | |
| So it's just like it was really Blade. | |
| I mean, that happened several years before. | |
| But what are you going to do? | |
| Nothing new under the sun. | |
| It turns out that QAnon and JS2 supporters are dum-dums in equal measures. | |
| And I hope that whoever actually ends up being declared to be the aggrieved party gets their 10 million dollars. | |
| Or whatever. | |
| Are they going to all just kind of fuck off? | |
| I feel like Kash Patel's like... He's real close to like getting in actual big kid trouble. | |
| It'll be easier for him to pay lawyers with ten million dollars out of Jay-Z's pocket though. | |
| You're not wrong. | |
| As if Jay-Z's got ten mil laying around. | |
| Ah, dude, he's got a sub stack. | |
| He's like the king of the disinfo slayers or whatever. | |
| His sub stack's popping off. | |
| We all wish to be so big-brained and well-loved as Jace do. | |
| Oh, if only. | |
| If only we could. | |
| I mean, he definitely is bigger time than us. | |
| He's getting sued for $10 million. | |
| That's like a pretty good feather in your cap if you want to just be like, I'm hot shit. | |
| But it turns out that none of us are even remotely close to hot shit in the realm of anything. | |
| Because the pool that we're playing in is like small potatoes. | |
| It's like two of the members of the government are in the QAnon. | |
| That's way more than it should be, but still not like... | |
| You know, it's not like Skynet's about to take over tomorrow. | |
| Oh, come on, Skynet! | |
| You'll make our podcast huge! | |
| Yeah, I mean, I would love... Dude, if Q really wants to start popping off and, like, giving us some listens again, that would be great. | |
| I say again. | |
| I mean, don't get me wrong, our listenership is fine, but we got a big bump because of Chain Away 6, I'm not gonna lie. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| So continue to do failed Qs, please. | |
| Yes, yes. | |
| Failed Qs only, though. | |
| No real successful Qs. | |
| Continue to be newsworthy but ineffective. | |
| That's what we need. | |
| Oh, that's the dream. | |
| Because all we've ever cared about is making cash. | |
| We're the most capitalistic, liberal, anti-QAnon podcast ever. | |
| It's what makes us, us, our salivating desire to sell out in some cases. | |
| We do talk about selling out constantly. | |
| I just, God, it's the dream! | |
| I want to sell it so bad. | |
| It's like, my three dreams in order are 1. | |
| Go back in time and relive my life with the knowledge I have now. | |
| 2. | |
| Superpowers. | |
| I have them now. | |
| I have powers. | |
| And then 3. | |
| Selling out for gobs of cash. | |
| That's the order. | |
| Yeah, I want to explain Pizzagate after doing the MeUndies read. | |
| That's the dream. | |
| That's really all I want in this world. | |
| I just want to be like, now I'm going to explain why the crew gets nuts. | |
| But first, MeUndies has got a deal for you. | |
| And then just bam, just right into it. | |
| Or I can do the whole DraftKings thing and have to go over the 98 hotlines to call for your gambling addiction in each different state that has DraftKings. | |
| I'm here for all of it. | |
| Please, let me cash out. | |
| Let's do this. | |
| We can dare to dream. | |
| But for now, shut your wet mouth so that we can get to having you open your wet mouth to talk about the return of our friend Tucker Carlson, who's back in Twitter form. | |
| So, I didn't watch any of this. | |
| I hope that you did, because I'd really love to know some about it. | |
| So, what's going on with Tucker Carlson's triumphant return to his mass media platform? | |
| Well, number one, it's blurry. | |
| It is incredibly low production values. | |
| The guest for his first show was Bigfoot, so he's a part of the deal. | |
| Yes. | |
| He, uh, it was, it's low production values. | |
| It was like 10 minutes. | |
| It was really weird that he just didn't even have a full show. | |
| I guess mostly because he didn't book guests. | |
| So he was like, I'm just going to do my opening monologue and call that my show for the day. | |
| I'm not gonna bring on libs of TikTok to scream and yell about some elementary school going a little too far of their pride celebrations, and thusly they need to have bombfets thrown in against them. | |
| So how could, like, why would it look so bad? | |
| Isn't he stinking rich? | |
| Like, I remember when all the late night hosts had to start doing their stuff from inside of their house, and thanks to the power of money, it just looked pretty good. | |
| Thanks to the power of interns bringing cameras to their house. | |
| It's really weird why it looked so bad. | |
| I don't know what he was going for with that setup. | |
| It just didn't look very aesthetically appealing. | |
| Like, Alex Jones has his dumb studio setup that he paid top dollar for, and he looks like a reporter. | |
| I mean, he's a screaming crank and a moron, but that set looks nice. | |
| And even, like, Nick Fuentes' green screen looks reasonably, like, passable if you're a dum-dum and you just, hey, this young guy's talking and his setup looks pretty good. | |
| And yet Tuk Tuk, who's like the frozen food trillionaire, somehow has this ridiculous, yeah, I'm out in my tool shed talking about how much I hate the government, and by the way, Ukraine sucks. | |
| And it's just like, really? | |
| That's... Wow, the way you just described it made it seem like he should have been making an improvised explosive device while he was doing his monologue. | |
| It is like Dibley LeGarage branting about how he hates the government, what's going on with Ukraine. | |
| Strong Ted Kaczynski vibes. | |
| No one knows why it looks like so much shit and why he went live with it, with it looking like that. | |
| He's a millionaire in his own right. | |
| So yeah, he's back, but it looks like crap. | |
| I don't know if he just wanted, he thought it was better to move fast than to look good. | |
| It's also, it's on Twitter. | |
| So what? | |
| Those are words to live by. | |
| It's better to move fast than to look good, you know? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah, I mean... Does that make me more or less evolved because I don't look good or move fast? | |
| You've broke the paradigm. | |
| You're beyond the left-right or the capitalist-communist narratives. | |
| L is transcendent. | |
| Yeah, in the words of one Miles Morales Spider-Man, nah, I'm gonna do my own thing. | |
| Okay, so it looked bad. | |
| How about the message? | |
| Was it the strong hand on the wheel that we needed in these trying times? | |
| It was basically Russia propaganda that Ukraine blew up that dam and not the Russians. | |
| So basically, if you don't know, the big story right now is that Ukraine's getting ready for their big counterattack that we've been waiting for for all this time. | |
| So a dam, a very big, powerful dam that was on the front lines, People kind of knew if that thing blew up it would be a humanitarian crisis and it could kind of bog down the war and stuff. | |
| And suddenly that damn exploded and everyone's throwing a fit about it because this is really bad. | |
| And also the people who are rightly saying that Russia did this, aka reality people. | |
| Everyone with a brain? | |
| are pointing out that this is kind of a change in Russia's tactics because before the idea was like conquering Ukraine and keeping it intact so that Russia could absorb it and the whole Liebenstrom thing where like boom now we have Ukraine great everything's great And now they're more sort of just like, well, we're probably not going to actually conquer Ukraine, so just fucking destroying it is probably our best option for a quote-unquote win. | |
| So Russia has become like just whiny piss babies at this point. | |
| They're just like, well, we're probably not going to win, so we're going to break as much shit as we can on our way out, which... | |
| Not great. | |
| Yeah, I think they realized the ship has seemingly sailed on that and Ukraine flew an explosive drone into it. | |
| And now Ukraine is just like, we have genuinely reached a tipping point. | |
| Poland, I believe, has reached a deal where they're like, oh, you can have all our old jets that we're not using anymore. | |
| We're getting new ones. | |
| Several other countries have reached deals to sell them. | |
| F-16s, definitely not us, definitely not America, brokering deals through like three different shell countries to get them F-16s. | |
| Winky winky, yes. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I'm going to take this opportunity to segue into another Boosh item. | |
| We can still talk about the UK and stuff, but I just wanted to mention, because this is the one I forgot to talk about. | |
| You know how that whistleblower guy came out this week? | |
| It was just like, hey, we definitely have like full on like working UFOs and like a ton of wreckage and a bunch of that stuff. | |
| Like, if the American government has that, what, like, I mean, it doesn't matter if it's so advanced that we can't glean anything from it, and the fact that we are still afraid of nuclear weapons from other countries leads me to believe that we ain't got shit. | |
| Like, I feel like if we crack the anti-grav drive out of one of these fucking UFOs, we could figure out a way to do a bunch of wild shit with it that would secure our borders from the threat of nuclear Armageddon, and then we could just be like, hey, Russia, stop, or we'll just destroy you. | |
| Yeah, there wouldn't be any more war with Ukraine. | |
| There wouldn't be any more war with anybody. | |
| We would just like, you would just see glowing beams a la Independence Day, like picking up world leaders we don't like. | |
| Yeah, it would be like the last time we invented a weapon that nobody else could comprehend or understand. | |
| The nuke. | |
| And it was just like, okay, well, no more war with America. | |
| Moratorium on wars with America, please. | |
| They may tell us when they would like to get involved in one of our wars. | |
| Yeah, actually, Tucker brought up UFOs and 9-11. | |
| Besides towing the line on Russian propaganda, Tucker was just sort of like, you know, we should dig more into UFOs and 9-11. | |
| I think that's, that was what I, the rest of my 10 minutes that I have used that it's not open Russian propaganda is just gonna be more 9-11 trutherism, which I've dabbled in previously, and also UFOs. | |
| Anyway, of course we have to do shell game nonsense, because Russia has nukes, and that means that if they ever just decide they want to end the party, they get to hit the party over button. | |
| Yeah, I mean, the only, yes, it is very worrying that, like, the number one thing keeping us going right now is mutually assured destruction, where Russia has to, like, well, it's even more worrying because Russia tried to test out one of their nukes, and they couldn't get it to work, so now it's just like, The complete illusion that they have nukes. | |
| Like, do they? | |
| We don't know. | |
| Their boats don't even work. | |
| The problem is that only one of their nukes would need to work when they try to use it. | |
| Because I bet a lot of ours still work. | |
| Maybe even all of them still. | |
| But certainly a lot of them. | |
| We spend a lot of money on our defense. | |
| I would like to imagine that our nukes are functional. | |
| As much as I would like to imagine our nukes are anything, because nuclear war is fucking awful. | |
| All fours of war are terrible, but just, again, the fact that it's just like, yeah, well, they've got nukes, so what are you gonna do? | |
| Yeah, it's just like, we've already, it's just like, once this war is over, you're guaranteed a spot in NATO, and Ukraine's like, cool, and it's like, in the meantime, Everyone's just going to be giving you U.S. | |
| military surplus stuff, but not America. | |
| Other countries are going to give it to you. | |
| They just happen to have them all lying around. | |
| So weird. | |
| So weird how America... Oh, those 20 F-16s that America left casually laying around in the United Kingdom. | |
| So weird. | |
| I mean, to be fair, that is how the Taliban heroically took over their country once we pulled out our own weapons. | |
| What a time to be alive. | |
| Okay, let's move on from this and talk about a slightly lighter and fluffier boosh topic, because this week, still in the headlines, but not the actual headlines, is our buddy Elon Musk. | |
| And every week we have to talk about his dumb idiot and his stupid grotesque penis, one million United States dollars, etc. | |
| So, Mike, why are we talking about Elon Musk this week? | |
| We were talking about Elon Musk this week because literally right before this podcast was being recorded, Elon replied to a lunatic tweet from someone where basically this guy posted a photo of Joe Biden, our beloved president, and a photo of Mel Gibson in a tank top with his guns blazing and glistening. | |
| He had the man butter working pretty good on this photo. | |
| And the person who made this tweet was named Top Lobster, which is a Jordan Peterson reference, if you didn't know that, which is very sad. | |
| He said, you can do adrenochrome or you can hate the Jays. | |
| Which way, Western man? | |
| And basically it was based, Biden's doing adrenochrome and that's why he's old and decrepit. | |
| And Mel Gibson hates the Jays and that makes him swole. | |
| And Elon saw this tweet and needed to reply to it and said, Gibson is really that buff these days? | |
| Just pretending to ignore the whole adrenochrome and raging antisemitism in the tweet. | |
| Oh, Elon's for sure an antisemite. | |
| He's tweeted out A Nazi tweet, a Nazi quote multiple times. | |
| The first time people called him on it, he deleted it. | |
| The second time, when people called him on it, he just ignored it. | |
| He was like, nope, gonna leave that up. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, he's a free speech absolutionist, you see. | |
| Yes. | |
| Which means he hates the Jays. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah. | |
| It is just, it's just really wild that this guy is just going to just see how far he can just throw Twitter into the ground and destroy it. | |
| I mean, he is going to do this. | |
| He is going to succeed in killing this platform for whatever reason, whatever brain worms the man has, and they are powerful and large. | |
| But he's just, he's can't stop, won't stop. | |
| He's doing this, and he knows what he's doing, and he's all in on it, and he is happy as a pig and shit right now. | |
| Just being, I own Twitter, and I will associate with anti-Semites. | |
| I'll talk to a guy who's bringing up Adrenochrome, which is both QAnon and modernized blood libel. | |
| Elon, do you know how many mediocre pop stars would touch your disfigured penis with the amount of money you have? | |
| And you could just leave everybody alone again and, like, fail at launching rockets and make cars that run over children. | |
| He did that, though. | |
| He already fired two children into Grimes against all sanity and reason. | |
| Again, Grimes, terrible person, chose to associate with him, went back to the well again for a whole other human being to come out of her body that is part of him. | |
| Fucking monster she is. | |
| So enjoy your fucking shitty pop music, Grimes fans. | |
| Glad to be able to swallow that pill. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| Like, he's already been there and done that, baby. | |
| He needs a new trip. | |
| He needs to spend $44 billion to just make sure that he's the center of attention for, like, a little while. | |
| So this is his midlife crisis. | |
| He, like, Oh yeah. | |
| Dude, he's McLovin' it. | |
| I feel like if liberals were willing to embrace Elon Musk for any reason and just wallow around in whatever shit he was into, I don't think that he's actually super specifically anti-Semitic or racist or transphobic or any of that shit. | |
| I just think that he's a dumb goober who's at least enough of those things to just be willing to crank that up so that he can get people to try to like him more. | |
| Like he's just he's just willing to he's willing to be that for the attention. | |
| He's just but I feel like if you dug down deep into his fucking core, he probably wouldn't have any like strong opinions about anything except for maybe anime girls. | |
| Yeah, he could probably tell you what class he likes the best in Elden Ring. | |
| I mean, he he or an intern of his like ground up a character to like some insanely high level, which people love pointing out. | |
| Oh yeah, his intern made his like 400 like fucking So, here I am with my incredible character. | |
| He reminds me of St. | |
| Cloud from The Venture Brothers. | |
| That's how Elon Musk is in real life. | |
| Instead of getting St. | |
| Cloud, we get Elon Musk. | |
| Just like a dumb idiot with endless money who's not doing anything funny, goofy, or interesting with it. | |
| He's just using it to buy Twitters and then fuck them into the dirt. | |
| Do you think we get an Elon character and or just straight up Elon in the Venture Brothers movie? | |
| Uh, probably not, no. | |
| I mean, unless they're going to decapitate him or something. | |
| I don't think those lads would be very interested if Elon Musk is going to go to God. | |
| I'm certain they don't like him. | |
| Yeah, so I guess maybe he gets decapitated by some sort of exploding helicopter blade or something, who knows, but he's not going to be there being like his appearance on The Simpsons, where it's just like, oh my god, it's genius Elon Musk! | |
| And he's just like, hi, I'm a genius. | |
| It's just like, okay, cool, well, great. | |
| I know we've brought this up a bunch of times, but I just love that we have that period in our media that in 20 years is going to be such a bad look. | |
| It's a bad look now, but In a few years, it's going to be like, holy shit, really? | |
| There were that many shows that sucked this guy's dick before he became a raging anti-Semite racist who destroyed Twitter? | |
| Well, it's just like, yeah, before he fucking flipped the switch and decided to go full good, he had tricked a lot of the media, and therefore a lot of people, myself included, for a little while, that he was this cool, genius guy trying to get us into space and building cool virtual reality programs. | |
| When he was just launching rockets, it was a good time. | |
| Inventing batteries and new shit. | |
| I was just like, oh, this guy seems pretty rad. | |
| And then he talked once or whatever. | |
| I was scared to hear it. | |
| Who took the mask all the way off? | |
| Yeah, he typed some stuff that was an opinion he had and I was like, oh no. | |
| Yeah, he offered to create a death trap to try to get those kids out of that cave, and then the people that were actually rescuing them were like, thanks Elon, we got this. | |
| And then Elon was like, you're a pedophile. | |
| Yeah, I think that probably was the first big, crazy... that was like the people's eyebrow moment, you know? | |
| That was when Elon Musk really was just like, wait, what? | |
| What's going on? | |
| I've invented a submarine to rescue those children. | |
| Certified cave rescue expert. | |
| That's stupid. | |
| You're a pedophile. | |
| Yeah, thanks but no thanks. | |
| Alright, pedo. | |
| Whatever. | |
| You're touching kids, you monster. | |
| Wow. | |
| Fucking intense. | |
| And also unfounded. | |
| How did we get to pedophile? | |
| As they say, that escalated really quickly. | |
| It sure did. | |
| That was definitely revealing that, oh, he's always been a shitbag idiot. | |
| I think not long after that, well, certainly recently, it's come out that he's always just been a nightmare at SpaceX, where they just have to, like, Oh yeah, obviously. | |
| Once pictures started coming out of him from college and stuff where he just looked like the worst kid you knew in your theater department, but he happened to be a science geek or whatever, you're just like, this is not good. | |
| We should not be venerating this person. | |
| Star Trek Discovery, you are the first one I know that did it. | |
| It seems like Elon Musk's, like, super villain origin story is, like, a flashback scene from him getting, like, bullied at a Ren Faire by some, like, Ren Faire strongman. | |
| Like, one of the actual knights who gets up there and performs a horseback or whatever. | |
| It's just like, dude, get the fuck out of here, Elon. | |
| You're like, yeah, go back to your tent or whatever. | |
| Like, they're kids who need to throw axes. | |
| We're doing real shit over here. | |
| It's the definition of the crying Pepe knocked over meme. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, absolutely. | |
| What a clown. | |
| Anyway, he's the clown we have to talk about every week, so we'll get back to him next week. | |
| Briefly, before we move on from The Boosh, let's quickly touch on some of the stuff that Mike Raines brought up earlier, starting with the PGA Live thing. | |
| How does QAnon feel about golf? | |
| Because QAnon strikes me as pretty white and male, and so does golf. | |
| So the fact that that's going to be, like, now suddenly, like, the Saudis' hands are going to be right up in that. | |
| QAnon is weirdly old, too. | |
| Oh yeah, Pop Pop got pilled. | |
| That is definitely a big thing about QAnon. | |
| Well, so how do they feel about MBS's hand being up in their colons now? | |
| Oh, they love it. | |
| Oh, they're so happy the Live Tour bought out the PGA. | |
| The woke PGA got bought out by the beloved America First. | |
| They merged? | |
| Yes. | |
| There was no buying out of anybody. | |
| It was a merger. | |
| It was fine. | |
| It was two totally equal entities with totally equal value and market share and zeitgeist behind them. | |
| They were totally the same. | |
| The PGA Tour, which has been around forever, and Live, which showed up last year? | |
| The year before? | |
| Yeah, basically. | |
| And suddenly, they're now just one. | |
| Totally, totally on the level. | |
| Yeah, so it's great. | |
| But QAnon very much in favor of this because in QAnon lore, the Saudis are good guys. | |
| That is a fundamental bedrock part of the narrative. | |
| We never finished that series because we got around QDROP 50 before we became a weekly news podcast and not a QDROP deep dive podcast. | |
| But Qdrop72 was basically the moment where Q had to give up on his deadline because November 4th, 2017 was supposed to be when everyone got cuffed and stuffed and the world was saved and Donald Trump was flying around in Air Force One, safe from it all. | |
| And November 4th, 2017 rolled around and that shit didn't fucking happen! | |
| And some anon on the Chan boards posted, wait a minute, MBS just arrested all of his enemies in Saudi Arabia. | |
| That's a big thing. | |
| What's going on there? | |
| And Q was like, good catch, Patriot. | |
| We lied to you. | |
| We lied to you about the whole America thing because we wanted the deep state to reallocate their forces to America. | |
| They left Saudi Arabia wide open to us and we've liberated it. | |
| And MBS is our white hat champion that is going to save the world through Saudi Arabia. | |
| So, like, when Khashoggi got murdered, boom, they were like, yeah, kill that journalist! | |
| Saudi Arabia, good! | |
| Like, they're just, all of that. | |
| It is this, QAnon is this incredibly, like, psychotic alternate reality where dictators are good and democracies are bad. | |
| They love, they love Putin, Kim Jong-un, and MBS. | |
| Love them. | |
| Well, I want to make sure, and like, you know, I feel like it's important to get this out there. | |
| I want to make one thing perfectly clear on the podcast. | |
| I will stop criticizing Saudi Arabia for one million United States dollars. | |
| Get in touch, Saudi Arabia. | |
| I think you're low-balling. | |
| Elle will be the official spokesman of the Live Tour, which it now is, actually. | |
| Oh, no, that would require more. | |
| They can buy my silence for $1 million, because I can certainly talk about other shit. | |
| But if they want me to actually stump for them, we can get on there. | |
| It's fine. | |
| I am for sale. | |
| Elle will sports-wash you. | |
| He's here for it. | |
| I'll be like, you know, maybe women shouldn't have rights. | |
| Am I right, guys? | |
| They're just like, what's that behind you? | |
| Is that a giant overflowing duffel bag of currency? | |
| And I'm just like, I don't know what you're talking about. | |
| I've never had anything behind me. | |
| Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to run to the bank, which I do every day normally, even when I don't have this duffel bag that I don't have in my hand. | |
| Thank you. | |
| I'd get arrested immediately. | |
| It's pretty obvious. | |
| I don't run anywhere. | |
| They'd be like, the jig is up. | |
| You've never run ever. | |
| Okay, and then what was the final news item? | |
| Ah, yes, that lunatic woman who's been stealing valor for Batlog. | |
| I only heard a little bit about this through the Twittersphere, so Mike, give us the heads up. | |
| You know what, actually? | |
| This is fun enough. | |
| Let's just make this a news item. | |
| I'm elevating it. | |
| I'm elevating it to news. | |
| Let's get into the news. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News. | |
| Look at that, we're going fucking crazy on this podcast, elevating Pusha to headline news item. | |
| Okay, Mike, give us the skinny. | |
| What's going on with the most stolen of Valor? | |
| Okay, so the lady behind Muller, she wrote basically Allison Gill's title. | |
| Yeah, she, um, this is one of, so Muller She Wrote is obviously a hopium, left-wing kind of podcast where Trump's going down any day now, we're gonna get him. | |
| And cause it's named after Muller and he was supposed to be the, he was the original white knight that was going to defeat Trump. | |
| So this person named Fraudianslip, you can find them at fraud underscore fraud underscore 101 f-r-a-u-d-e underscore 101. | |
| They created a very long thread documenting the bizarre history that Gil has created for herself and her family. | |
| Just nothing about her backstory checks out. | |
| The timelines for everything is wrong. | |
| Wait, so you're saying that she's not a wounded veteran who was a nuclear sub-engine repair technician during the Gulf War? | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| She is not these things. | |
| Yeah, so basically, this person, they've got the receipts. | |
| It's a very long thread where they just break down all these things and they show that she wasn't involved in the First Gulf War and all that stuff, because the timeline doesn't match up in any way, shape, or form. | |
| And so this happened, and really funnily, as a callback, our boy J-Stew jumped in and was defending her. | |
| He was like, if you see these anonymous people posting threads attacking folks in our community, it's all our gargle. | |
| And it's like, J-Stew, what are you doing? | |
| You and Mueller, she wrote, really have no common ground here except for just being anti-Trump leftist con artists. | |
| But here you are, weirdly white knighting her for whatever reason. | |
| Yeah, bro. | |
| Us liberals only really need to stick together when it comes to the big boy stuff like defeating shitty presidential candidates and shit like that. | |
| Otherwise, we've got our own thing going on. | |
| That's why I wanted to elevate this to news. | |
| I'm happy to see liberals come back and get fucked over and called out just as much as I like it when it happens to stupid conservatives. | |
| It just turns out that stupid conservatives tend to paint themselves into those corners a little more, you know? | |
| Yeah. | |
| You do, man. | |
| It's usually... I don't understand. | |
| Stolen Valor is routinely just so easy to, like, research. | |
| Especially when they give definitive dates. | |
| And in her backstory, she killed off her grandfather in World War II, but he actually lived. | |
| It was very weird. | |
| Yeah, that was a really crazy twist in that story. | |
| Because I did read all this person's tweets, but I was reading them the day they came out, so it wasn't super fresh in my mind, yeah. | |
| The fact that her actually heroic grandfather... Yes! | |
| In her narrative, he is dead, and in reality, he did eventually die, but he lived for a nice long time and was an absolute unit. | |
| I thought for a second there, you said she killed her grandfather in her story, and I was like, excuse me? | |
| No, no, in the narrative, her heroic vampire, veteran grandfather... No, not as a vampire. | |
| A vampire veteran grandfather died heroically instead of living heroically. | |
| Because it's easier if you died heroically. | |
| Right. | |
| I love how aggressive she was, too. | |
| She's not dropping these nuggets anywhere. | |
| She's responding to people just being like, I got fuckin' disabled, permanently PTSD and all that shit on your back, fighting for your freedom, you fuckin' cuck! | |
| And she's like, you didn't do any of that! | |
| You didn't do any of that shit! | |
| No, that's true! | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| Oh man, I just hope, so we're learning. | |
| We're learning how we can get big, which is we need to peddle more hopium and Sarge needs to go aggressive stolen valor here. | |
| So Sarge, just start making some shit up. | |
| I mean, I don't even care what you need to do. | |
| Just lie, just lie. | |
| Yeah, now we have to get into our backstory where we heroically served together. | |
| Yeah, we Blackhawk downed it. | |
| It was me and you. | |
| And I've got the presidential freedom of metal or whatever to prove it. | |
| Now they're gonna make a movie about my totally real experiences. | |
| It's gonna be very mediocre. | |
| I think it'll star Ryan Gosling. | |
| Hey, get off his back. | |
| He's in that Barbie movie and I hope it's not mediocre. | |
| Who am I thinking? | |
| Jake Gyllenhaal. | |
| He's in that. | |
| Oh yeah, there's the mediocrity we were looking for. | |
| That's the stuff. | |
| Don't get me wrong, Brokeback Mountain was a great flick, but he's been in a lot of stuff where I'm just like, really? | |
| Everyone's losing their mind. | |
| Nightcrawler? | |
| I guess this is a cool movie and all, but when I see his performance in it, I'm just like, oh my god, she's chilling all crazy! | |
| Anyway, sorry, now I'm really off topic. | |
| Has Stolen Valerie responded to her allegations? | |
| Has she come out, is she trying to defend herself? | |
| That's right. | |
| I called her Stolen Valerie. | |
| That was pretty clever. | |
| I appreciate that. | |
| I'm here for it. | |
| I second your motion. | |
| That's what I will officially call her that from now on. | |
| It works for me. | |
| That'll be our podcast and a podcast about her in the future. | |
| Yes. | |
| Five minutes every episode called Stolen Valerie about this wild lady. | |
| Yes. | |
| She's just tweeting through it. | |
| Just head down, ignoring it. | |
| Just going to just keep doing the Mueller she wrote opium peddling. | |
| And the thing that's really kind of funny is I've seen a lot of people lumped into this sort of left-wing sphere of influence, and I don't know, I could just be a knave, doe-eyed moron who doesn't know his ass from his elbow, but I just don't think a lot of these people are as bad as others. | |
| But I just see people being like, oh, this is just as bad as Bad Company and Angry Staffer. | |
| And I'm like, Angry Staffer is kind of fun. | |
| But Bad Company has fucking blew it on bullshit. | |
| Bad Company is the worst. | |
| But I'm just like, am I wrong? | |
| Is Angry Staffer also bad? | |
| I just don't know. | |
| There's like, because Who could say, Mike? | |
| Because who knows what the fuck those things are? | |
| You're talking about these things so casually. | |
| Your co-hosts don't know what those are. | |
| You know that we don't know what those are. | |
| You've gotten real deep into Blue Anon. | |
| Well, Bad Company is fucking pure Blue Anon bullshit. | |
| They got their accounts suspended a million years ago. | |
| They got it back, thanks Elon. | |
| And literally all they do is just post shit where they're just like, oh shit's gonna happen real soon. | |
| They're just literally all, boom, week ahead. | |
| But for the left, whereas like Angry Staffer and other people like that try to post actual stuff and talk about the news and things, whereas it's really frustrating because this has happened to me like two or three times where people have been like, hey, you should follow these people to get a clue as to what's really going on. | |
| And they're like, At Mike Rothschild, at Travis Few, at PokerPolitics, at Bad Company. | |
| And I'm like, no! | |
| No! | |
| One of those things is not like the other. | |
| One of those things does not belong. | |
| No way, Mike. | |
| You love Bad Company. | |
| It's on record. | |
| The Twitter record has showed that you get retweeted with them a lot. | |
| So you guys are friends. | |
| Yeah, the BFF's the biggest and best. | |
| Bad Company, if you're listening and you want to collaborate, Mike Rains is into it. | |
| Let's go. | |
| Yes! | |
| I'm here to talk about how they're absolutely going to dig up Trump's wife's coffin at that golf course and find all the stolen documents inside it. | |
| I totally believe in that stuff. | |
| I'm 100% a coffin truther. | |
| I mean, that would be incredible. | |
| That's like actual supervillain shit. | |
| You're just like, yeah, I stole this and I hid it someplace and you'll never find out where it is. | |
| And it's like, is it this obvious pit in your backyard that just happens to be an alleged grave for someone? | |
| And it's just like, uh, no, no, that's not it. | |
| So it's sort of like, either it's not true, because obviously that would be crazy, or it is true, and it's just like, oh my god, we live in a reality where people are starting to go supervillain crazy? | |
| That's exciting. | |
| We know Trump knows how to destroy and hide documents. | |
| He's doing it right now. | |
| He had a staffer flood the server room at Mar-a-Lago. | |
| And fail. | |
| That was an accident. | |
| That was just general pool repair. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's such a fucking Looney Tunes move! | |
| It's so... Like, hey, we need all that security footage from Mar-a-Lago. | |
| The server room flooded. | |
| It's so weird. | |
| You wouldn't believe it. | |
| You have no idea. | |
| Every now and then we just drain the pool into the server room. | |
| It's just a routine thing we do. | |
| And oopsie-doopsies. | |
| The server room gets hot, so we drain the pool into it and we make sure everything is sprayed down pretty effectively. | |
| Yeah! | |
| And you know what cools down all the servers really well? | |
| Magnets. | |
| High-powered magnets. | |
| So we just get them nice and cold by scrubbing the magnets over them. | |
| It's wonderful. | |
| No, see, that was just a miscommunication. | |
| Trump told them MAGA and they heard magnets. | |
| Oh, right. | |
| Yes, yes. | |
| Because English isn't their first language. | |
| Because he doesn't want to pay People not under the table, like he wants to, you know, you don't get to be rich by paying people a livable wage. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| America! | |
| If you don't know what we're talking about, I don't know how you possibly couldn't. | |
| Trump is very likely to be indicted within the next week to two over several documents that are still missing. | |
| And his legal team talked to the DOJ and they're like, hey, please don't indict Trump. | |
| And from all indications, the meeting didn't go so hot. | |
| That was their Hail Mary. | |
| Yeah. | |
| They just showed up and were just like, please don't. | |
| Please don't do it. | |
| Yeah, please don't. | |
| That was their move. | |
| Please don't do it. | |
| Please just let him off, please. | |
| Please just let him off, please. | |
| Seriously, please. | |
| He was a former president. | |
| I mean, for crying out loud, man, you can't do this to a former president. | |
| It's so unfair. | |
| And the DOJ was like, um, get fucked, morons. | |
| Yeah, so two days ago, Trump posted, and this was what we believe to be right after his lawyers got out of that meeting, and gave him the heads-up that not looking good, Donnie Two-Scoops, actually looking bad. | |
| He tweeted in all or truth in all caps. | |
| How could DOJ possibly charge me who did nothing wrong when no other presidents | |
| were charged when Joe Biden won't be charged for anything, including the fact | |
| that he had 1850 boxes, much of it classified and some dating back to his | |
| Senate day, his Senate day, Joe Biden spent one day in the Senate, according | |
| to Trump, apparently when even Democrat senators are. | |
| So unfair. | |
| Classic Trump reply. | |
| I like how you managed to get a butthurt emails in there. | |
| deleted 30,000, 33,000 emails, many classified. | |
| It wasn't even close to being charged. | |
| Only Trump, the greatest witch hunt of all time. | |
| So, only Trump, only Trump, only Trump. | |
| So unfair. | |
| Classic Trump reply. | |
| Yes. | |
| I like how you managed to get a butt hurt emails in there. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh dude, he hates those emails. | |
| That wasn't investigated to hell and back? | |
| Right. | |
| Like, literally, the opening of Hillary's campaign was James Comey walking onto a podium and being like, we couldn't charge that bitch, but it just gets my goat. | |
| But this is the way it's gonna be, and I'm so frustrated. | |
| And then James Comey came back a week before the election and was like, by the way, we're investigating her again for reasons. | |
| Ha ha ha! | |
| Thumb on the scale! | |
| Boom! | |
| Gotcha, bitch! | |
| That's one of my favorite things about QAnon. | |
| They're like, I want Comey to hang in Gitmo! | |
| It's like, you fucking idiots! | |
| Comey's why Trump got elected! | |
| Do you not know how fucking reality works? | |
| No, obviously not. | |
| We're finding this out repeatedly. | |
| Every time we do one of this show, we re-learn this lesson. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah, butter emails. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| So Trump threw a fit, and the grand jury that had been impaneled by Jack Smith is meeting this week, and we don't know if they're hearing more evidence or if this is just actually Jack Smith's going to be like, okay, you've heard all the evidence, now it's time to come to a decision. | |
| As people love to point out, quote unquote, you can indict a ham sandwich. | |
| So if, uh, if all this evidence is what it appears to be, and it does seem fucking bad when again, you just have the Trump people accidentally flooding the server room of Mar-a-Lago and be like, Oh shit, the pool drain dude are bad. | |
| And it turned out they actually didn't destroy anything. | |
| Just the, they attempted to flood the server and failed. | |
| So when you have all this going on, the whole if there's smoke, there's fire thing, it looks like Trump is going to get charged with actual big boy crimes, which people might care about because We all weathered that whole hush money thing pretty quickly. | |
| That came and went very fast. | |
| So it's going to be very interesting to see how our goldfish attention span to media is going to react to Trump actually potentially being charged with the espionage act, which is like, I mean, I, I mentioned this before and Elle like gave me the plate slap on the wrist about it, but espionage act is like, actually you can seek the death penalty for kind of stuff. | |
| It's like, in big boy crimes. Not that I think that's going to happen | |
| to Trump. I mean, I'm sure bad companies posting about it now. Trump's getting the | |
| chair, hashtag bad company, hashtag give me money. But like that, that kind of thing where it's | |
| like, yeah, prosecutors could seek life imprisonment or death. | |
| I wonder if that charge actually moves the needle for the media coverage of the Trump 2024 campaign. | |
| Yeah, if you elect this guy president, I don't know, it seems weird, but we might actually have to execute the president for his crimes. | |
| It's so ridiculous. | |
| Yeah, I don't. | |
| Obviously, they would never do that. | |
| He... God. | |
| They... Never say never, Sarge. | |
| Only if Sith speaks in absolutes. | |
| Which is like, I have always hated that line so much. | |
| It's just like, oh yeah, that's the only people who speak in absolutes, so it's only them. | |
| It's pretty fucking absolute to me there, ding dong. | |
| Yeah, it sounds like a pretty absolute statement there. | |
| Do you want to take a second pass at this line there, George? | |
| It's just sick and great the way it is. | |
| Alright, good stuff. | |
| Only cis speak in absolutes. | |
| That's a man, that's a woman. | |
| Only and only the cis speak in absolutes, no one else does it, it's only them, absolutely. | |
| Anyway, Toshi Station, etc. | |
| Fuckin' clown shit. | |
| Anyway, once again, getting wildly off topic, let's soldier forth. | |
| Put Donald Trump in the rearview window for a week. | |
| He'll roar back up to us like a T-Rex next week anyway. | |
| With his tiny arms and hands. | |
| But instead we can talk about Ray. | |
| Ray. | |
| I don't know why we're talking about Ray, so I'll just toss it over to Mike. | |
| Why are we talking about Ray? | |
| We are talking about Ray because Ray is going to be held, allegedly is going to be held in contempt of Congress very soon because this is the latest very silly Republican witch hunt to try to blame the FBI for being bad and trying to catch Joe Biden in his cripplingly corrupt corruption. | |
| And basically what has happened is The FBI has a document and they have told the Republicans that want to look at this document, they're like, we can't give you the full document. | |
| It's like pertinent to investigations and stuff that were going on. | |
| It involves classified details that the FBI is not comfortable granting you. | |
| We are willing to let you into a room with the document lightly redacted so that you can look at it and examine it and read it as far as we can go. | |
| And they actually did this, and I don't know if it was McCarthy or another Republican, but Republicans did get to see like 90% of the document. | |
| And Republicans are like, not good enough. | |
| We want the document delivered to us so we can hold it in our hot little hands. | |
| And this is unacceptable. | |
| And if you don't give it to us, we are going to file contempt of Congress charges against the head of the FBI. | |
| This bizarre little witch hunt into quote-unquote Biden corruption. | |
| This was what we talked about previously where we had the whistleblowers that mysteriously vanished when we needed to call upon them. | |
| And now they're talking about the whistleblower being quote-unquote afraid for their life and thusly they will not reveal themselves because Much like the Clinton crime family kills everybody that opposes them, the Biden crime family is also notoriously murderous. | |
| Isn't that fucking convenient? | |
| They're just like, yeah, trust us, we have a whistleblower, but for their safety we can't reveal who they are and no, you can't talk to them. | |
| But they exist. | |
| Yes, they totally exist. | |
| And we actually had a person on Fox News talking about how the FBI is full of moles who are now giving information to the Biden camp to keep the Biden camp abreast of the investigations that will bring them down to stay a step ahead of them. | |
| And I forget who the person was. | |
| As they were talking on Fox News, they declared that one of these moles is named One-Eye, and that One-Eye is one of the people that works on behalf of the Bidens to undermine the FBI and their investigations into Biden. | |
| Dude, you're gonna be sweating bullets if you're the one Cyclops working at the FBI right now. | |
| Yeah! | |
| You're like, oh no! | |
| They know! | |
| Shit! | |
| You're just like, oh, surprise performance evaluation. | |
| Why would that be happening? | |
| Yeah, so our boy Ray, who again Q told us to trust because he was totally the greatest and bestest of all of us and was going to take down the Deep State. | |
| He's now super bad, evil, awful, and all that good stuff. | |
| And it's really weird. | |
| It's just so weird how Q keeps screwing this up. | |
| How all the heroes Q told us to trust End up either failing or being outright bad guys. | |
| Like Durham, Sessions, Ray, Mike Pompeo. | |
| I mean, we had so many heroes. | |
| We're reading, like, communications between Q people. | |
| Do any of them ever have the cajones to step up to the plate and be like, hey, didn't Q tell us to trust this guy? | |
| Shouldn't we be backing this guy? | |
| Every now and then something will happen in the news and they'll be like, Oh, Ray was playing the long game. | |
| Now it makes sense. | |
| he's still a white hat. We're good. We're good. I see you. | |
| I see you, bro. | |
| We're cool. | |
| But then Ray does something they don't like. | |
| And they just go right back to disinformation was necessary. | |
| Q had to make Ray feel comfortable so he could do his crimey crimes. | |
| And then the real white hats could catch him. | |
| They, they, they complete the mental gymnastics. | |
| They managed to solve the puzzle. | |
| Oh yeah, the old chestnut of disinformation was necessary, it's so convenient. | |
| Yes. | |
| What another in a long line of conveniences for the QAnon follower. | |
| Yep. | |
| It's so convenient. | |
| Oh god. | |
| You'd be a fool not to believe in QAnon, it's so easy. | |
| They're like, look, our mythos is whatever the fuck you want it to be. | |
| What we believe in is just sort of like generally being racist, misogynistic, and transphobic, and also... Do you like white people? | |
| Awesome, then we're straight. | |
| Okay, cool. | |
| Good stuff. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Fucking so dumb. | |
| Yes. | |
| Anyway, let us continue to talk about our only the most proud Caucasian people in America, election deniers. | |
| Now, I'm not saying that they're all white. | |
| I'm just saying that almost all of them are white. | |
| And if you have data that refutes that, fucking come at me. | |
| So apparently they have scored a big victory over YouTube this week according to our friend Mike. | |
| So Mike, I didn't even know YouTube was embattled with election deniers. | |
| What's going on here? | |
| Uh, so YouTube had a policy just straight up where if you tried to post 2020 election denialism shit, they would just pull you, pull it down. | |
| They'd just be like, nope, you can't do this stuff. | |
| And this week YouTube has made a new policy where you are allowed to post that shit, and it might get flagged for violating other reasons, other misinformation or disinformation things, but Now, if you want to bring your measured, reasoned, skeptic, evidence-filled 2020 election denialism to YouTube, they'll give you a fair hearing. | |
| They'll give you a fair shake. | |
| Which the rest of the media has looked at and been like, YouTube, what the fuck? | |
| And YouTube is just like, bro, Trump's going to be the 2024 nominee. | |
| What do you want us to do? | |
| Literally everything that's going to be posted about him or anything he says is just going to be, I got dropped in 2020. | |
| It was bullshit. | |
| They fucking cheated me. | |
| Fuck this shit. | |
| I'm so mad about it, but I'm going to win in 2024 because somehow I'll beat the cheat. | |
| Just figure out that cognitive dissonance and vote for me anyways. | |
| Just do it. | |
| Show up and vote even though the elections are rigged. | |
| It's all good. | |
| So apparently YouTube, seeing the writing on the wall about where Republicans are going with this shit, have just decided, fuck it, we're just going to throw our arms up and just give up. | |
| They can just fucking storm all around and be giant shitbags. | |
| We ain't policing this anymore. | |
| We're done. | |
| We're done trying to inject sanity into American politics. | |
| And boy howdy, when this announcement came out, did I see this, QAnon hasn't celebrated this much since Durham indicted some guy that got acquitted like 20 minutes after the jury got the case. | |
| But they were so happy, like, we won! | |
| Matt Walsh has to be excited. | |
| At last, the truth is now on YouTube. | |
| And oh, I've seen, I saw so much beating of your, beating of chests where people were like, if you keep fighting for what you believe in, it wins out because the truth is on our side. | |
| And it's like, no, YouTube is just a soulless corporation and they don't want to have to de-platform the Republican Party when the Republican Party just fucking bends the knee to Donald Trump and just kisses his ass for the next, I don't know, for nine months minimum going into the next election. | |
| That's where we're going to be at! | |
| Because I'm a capitalist bootleg, I'm willing to play devil's advocate here a little bit. | |
| In a world where YouTube does continue to just heavily moderate that, and everything Donald Trump says throughout the entire course of his presidential run just can't make the air on YouTube, but whatever other candidates are running for office, specifically for the Democrat Party, Like, get YouTube, it's just like a big free platform. | |
| That seems like the sort of thing where at some point the government's just like, well, now you're directly influencing elections. | |
| Like, you're not like an impartial platform. | |
| And then they get embroiled into this like, living towns, like the digital town square bullshit that ruined Twitter. | |
| Oh yeah, I can understand that Republicans would absolutely use that as an axe to grind. | |
| So like this is a kind of preemptive surrender to the Republicans on this front. | |
| I can see that. | |
| It's just a shit thing, period, because They're just tolerating these lies on their platform now. | |
| And it's, I mean, it's really funny because every now and then if you like, you look at some like historical, like snapshot of America, it'll be like presidential elections. | |
| You click on it and it'll be like the election, the issues of the day, like tariffs or slavery, or this, that, the other thing. | |
| I just love the idea that like in 50 years, someone will click on like the 2024 presidential election. | |
| It'll be like issues of the day. | |
| That the guy running in 2024 got the election stolen from him in 2020. | |
| Like, that's gonna be the main campaign platmore blank of the Republicans, is that the last election was rigged against us. | |
| It's just, it's so fucking wild. | |
| Yeah, that's great, because another way to say that is, vote for us this time, we lost last time. | |
| Yes! | |
| Don't bother voting, it was fixed last time. | |
| Yeah, it was rigged last time and it'll be rigged this time. | |
| Don't vote, Republicans. | |
| Make your voice heard by not voting. | |
| Yep. | |
| That was after the 2022 midterms. | |
| Charlie Kirk on his dumb little show had callers call in and a bunch of them were like, yeah, I didn't vote because you guys said 2020 was rigged. | |
| So fuck it. | |
| Why bother? | |
| And you could just see Charlie Kirk and his co-hosts being like, no, no, I can't believe it. | |
| That's what we should do to really seal the deal this time around. | |
| We need to get a bunch of us savvy liberals out. | |
| The ones that can pass for good old boys need to go to where they're protesting stuff with big signs and clever chants to just dissuade voting. | |
| Yes! | |
| Just be like, can't win, don't try! | |
| Can't win, don't try! | |
| Come on boys! | |
| What are we doing here anyway? | |
| Let's go get loaded! | |
| Yes! | |
| It's Tuesday! | |
| Why vote when you can get drunk? | |
| Let's do this! | |
| Good shit, excellent. | |
| Well, you know, it couldn't happen to a nicer group of people, or a nicer giant soulless corporation. | |
| There's really no winners here. | |
| At least YouTube has a better leg to stand on than Twitch did with their big announcement this week. | |
| Actually, maybe streamers shouldn't be able to make money, really. | |
| How about that? | |
| How do you like that, streamers? | |
| Huh? | |
| How do you like that, people that we rely on for our platform? | |
| Oh, you're all very unhappy, and most of you are discussing leaving very publicly? | |
| Well, we didn't see that coming. | |
| We thought you'd be fine not making any money. | |
| We thought you did it for the love of the stream. | |
| The love of the stream. | |
| Yeah. | |
| This ain't no WNBA. | |
| People want to get paid for what they're doing. | |
| Yes. | |
| Take that, WNBA. | |
| Those poor fucking women, man. | |
| Yeah, I'm living my dream, but I also have to work at McDonald's to pay my bills. | |
| That's literally why Brittany Griner spent that year or so in a Russian prison, because in order to make a living wage as a female athlete, you would literally have to play basketball year-round. | |
| So when the Russian basketball league's like, We'll pay you, like, commensurate or more than the WNBA in the WNBA offseason to play basketball. | |
| You're like, fuck it. | |
| I'm only making 50 grand in the WNBA. | |
| I'll go play basketball in Russia for 75k. | |
| And then they're like, oh, you have some hash oil. | |
| Enjoy jail for forever now. | |
| It's like, fuck! | |
| God damn it! | |
| My fucking computer just refused to allow me to unmute my microphone. | |
| Yeah, I was like, wow, usually... I was just a deep contemplative thinking about the state of the WNBA. | |
| No, my computer was just like refusing to... like when I mouse over the mute button for the platform that we use to do our podcasting, it calls up a little like, you know, array of options and it just wouldn't... that little pop-up would not fuck off. | |
| It would just refuse to let me... | |
| Anyway, once again, rambling into the microphone, let's go to our mailbag for the week. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q&A! | |
| So I have a couple of secret mailbag questions, the first of which was sent to me on Patreon, and they said, I've never asked my friend about Q directly. | |
| How would you recommend me asking about it so as not to put my friend on the defensive? | |
| I've demonstrated myself as quote-unquote not being open-minded, so how do I have this discussion? | |
| And the thing is, really, all you can do with someone who's in QAnon and believes in this kind of stuff is Show them that you're willing to talk to them and you're willing to have a conversation without judgment, without calling them wrong or getting shouty or any of that kind of stuff. | |
| You just want to be supportive while also explaining to them, look, this is this, this is why this is not true, this is why this is bullshit. | |
| You just want, you know, debunking doesn't make someone go, Oh my God, I'm wrong! | |
| It makes them double down. | |
| It makes them more aggressively defensive. | |
| It makes them hold on to their beliefs harder. | |
| The best thing you can just do is plant those little seeds that they're wrong about these few things and BT dubs. | |
| If you want to talk to me about it, that's cool. | |
| And if you ever give up on this shit, I'll be your bro. | |
| I'm here to be your friend. | |
| I'm here to support you. | |
| No muss, no fuss. | |
| And that's like the main thing is that a lot of people in movements like this and movements that are much worse like neo-Nazis and stuff like that. | |
| They kind of think that man, I'm like this deep into this shit. | |
| I can never be accepted again in polite society. | |
| And that's how these groups get their hooks into you and you stay in them because you just don't think you have any future outside of the movement and So just letting them know that there is a future outside of shitty QAnon is good. | |
| It's something that can retether them back to reality. | |
| There's no quick fix. | |
| There's no one size fit all thing. | |
| I literally had some guy like three or four months ago. | |
| Petaling a book that was like, this book will get your friends out of cults and save them. | |
| And he was like, trying to like, talk to me about like, marketing it with QAnon. | |
| And I just was like, I know you're, you're making a lot of promises that I don't think you can deliver on. | |
| And I do not want to be a part of this. | |
| So like, Hard pass! | |
| I'm glad you have this book, and maybe I'll read it and have some conversational cues and stuff to learn from. | |
| But no, I don't think there's a book I can read. | |
| And then immediately I can run up to a QAnon believer and be like, Boom! | |
| You are now out of QAnon! | |
| And they'll be like, Oh my god, I've seen the light! | |
| Thank you so much, brave soul! | |
| Is that like a Bible to a vampire? | |
| You're just like, Yeah! | |
| I'm gonna wave this book at you, and it's gonna make you realize that your ways are bad! | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Yeah, so that's all you can really do. | |
| And the main thing I will tell people in this situation is don't be too hard on yourself. | |
| If you can't handle the mental burden of dealing with a QAnon believer, then just Hey, they're the ones who've burned that bridge. | |
| They've made the decision that QAnon's more important than their friendship with you or their relationship with you. | |
| So just accept that they've made the choice. | |
| You're not the one making the choice. | |
| Because that is something that you see a lot in QAnon postings where they'll be like, I've lost friends and family because they just don't see the truth and blah, blah, blah. | |
| And it's like, yeah. | |
| You did do that. | |
| You, you made that decision and your friends have made the decision based off your decision. | |
| But you were the, you were the first mover. | |
| You were the one that set that chain of events into motion because you want to buy into this shit and you won't let go of it. | |
| And you won't let your friends like know you're, you're going to tell your friends about no matter what, like you can't have a quiet relationship with them. | |
| So yeah. | |
| So it's, it's not great, but it's the world we live in. | |
| It's the best I can offer you. | |
| I'm really sorry that that's all I can give you. | |
| There you go. | |
| Mike Raines is suggesting empathy. | |
| Who doesn't need a little more empathy in their life? | |
| Thank you for that question. | |
| The other question I got was, I watched a god-awful B-horror movie with a religious theme where a character must pledge an oath where one goes free, we all go home, and science is satanic and thought, did a QAnon write this? | |
| And I follow a bunch of QAnon debunkers. | |
| Do you guys worry about the fact that you're constantly staring into the abyss and at some point you'll become not one of them but something like one of them? | |
| So, basically, how do I and how do you guys deal with dealing with this content is pretty much the question. | |
| I barely engage with QAnon stuff. | |
| That's how I do it. | |
| I take regular breaks. | |
| When I was reading the Anti-Moon Landing book The first section of it was all science. | |
| So I was like, Oh, maybe they have a point. | |
| And no, it like, a lot of it doesn't never stop critically thinking a lot of it doesn't engage with information on any level that's honest. | |
| So It's not hard to not fall down it, as long as you use critical thinking. | |
| And if you ever feel like you are like, oh man, I'm getting a little too into this, take breaks. | |
| Like, just go fuck off and look at something else for a while. | |
| Oh yeah, oh god, oh god. | |
| Play with some kittens. | |
| Engage with people that have both feet in reality. | |
| Yep. | |
| Touch grass. | |
| All those important things. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I, I'm, I'm a sicko and I fully acknowledge that like, I am, I'm just, I'm just in the weeds in this shit. | |
| I live through it. | |
| It's what I enjoy. | |
| I'm nuts. | |
| I, and I, I've had people explain that to me and I'm like, yeah, you're right. | |
| I get it. | |
| But, uh, the main reason why I don't really worry about the whole abyss thing is that I understand that these people are always acting in bad faith, and I think the most important thing you can do in these situations, and in any situation, is to act in good faith. | |
| Present your arguments that you actually believe. | |
| Actually present your beliefs. | |
| Actually mean what you say. | |
| Do things that you think are good, and move things forward. | |
| Because as long as you're true to yourself, The rest of it's going to work itself out. | |
| I mean, there are things I notice in this world where I get the, like, Marvel Snap has a title you can win, and every now and then people will play it when they're playing against me. | |
| And that title was, like, Thanos is Right. | |
| And I look at it, and there is this part of me that is like, I understand the joke, but I also know that there's this horrible, deep world where Hitler was right is a thing people say a lot. | |
| So it's like, yes, like this stuff does make some of the world less fun for me. | |
| But that's just the price of doing business. | |
| Like the more important thing I think is just not like losing your moorings and becoming like detached from reality. | |
| To the point where you pull the J-Stew, where you're debunking QAnon to the point where now you know how it happened! | |
| And you're right! | |
| And now when you talk to other people who also debunk QAnon and they disagree with you, they're in on the conspiracy against you as well! | |
| Cause like that, that's the path to madness. | |
| That is like, I don't know shit about shit. | |
| If like tomorrow evidence came out that Mike Flynn was Q, fuck, boom. | |
| Wow. | |
| Way to go J-Stew. | |
| You nailed it. | |
| Good on you, bro. | |
| Yeah, what a shocking turn of events! | |
| It's like the South Park episode earlier, the correct religion is Mormonism. | |
| And it's just, boom! | |
| We did it! | |
| Mormons! | |
| We win! | |
| It's like, whatever. | |
| But yeah, that's how I try to keep it balanced. | |
| So thank you for the question. | |
| And finally, from Cleodora Silvestri, our Hello World Grand Inquisitor, who are the members of the Q Slayers League and what are their Q-crushing superpowers? | |
| Yeah, see, I had never, I hadn't heard of the Q Slayers until Jay Stu accused Mike Rains of being one. | |
| So I guess, Mike, it would be on you to tell us who the pantheon is. | |
| Who's among you in the Q Slayer group? | |
| And then we can assign powers to them. | |
| Well, given the people that Stu hates the most, it would basically probably be like Travis View and Mike Rothschild. | |
| So probably the other two QAA co-hosts, Jake and Julian. | |
| Um, and then basically anyone else in the community that's kind of even got within 27 feet of him. | |
| There's like Cassandra Seven, who you guys probably don't know about. | |
| Jay Stu's tried to dox her a bunch of times. | |
| His name sounds familiar. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He's like super- Her name really lends herself to be some sort of like cool robot or Android or something. | |
| Yeah, he hates Karma too. | |
| I mean, Karma's also part of the plot to ruin him, so she's definitely... Oh, Karma's power's easy. | |
| Boomerang powers, obviously. | |
| Yes! | |
| Well, Karma could also live in some sort of weird quantum singularity, because Australia isn't real, so where she actually exists is unknown to us. | |
| Nope. | |
| Nope. | |
| She throws a boomerang and her catchphrase is, what goes around comes around. | |
| Thank you! | |
| Thank you! | |
| You don't want to do something with a kangaroo? | |
| No. | |
| Her name is Carmen, mate. | |
| What Goes Around Comes Around was literally the number one answer on that board. | |
| Bing! | |
| Yes, and it was one of those number one answers that's like 72 points. | |
| The remaining answers are like, you're really grasping at straws. | |
| I crushed it hard enough where I'm willing to point it out. | |
| I crushed that one. | |
| Yes! | |
| Alright, you crushed that one hard enough. | |
| I'll give you a joke on credit. | |
| But it's about time. | |
| Anyway, so yeah, Cassandra Seven, cool name, sounds like an android, let's go with it. | |
| Karma, boomerang, Australia, obviously. | |
| Mike Rains, gambit guy, poker politics, right? | |
| Yes! | |
| That's good. | |
| Maybe you could have like a Two-Face Jag where you're half poker, half politics. | |
| Like half of you is Uncle Sam and then half of you is like a magician or whatever. | |
| Or like whatever a pit boss wears. | |
| It's like a stylish suit with cards in your hand. | |
| Yeah, I got cards as my pocket square instead of an actual napkin or handkerchief. | |
| That'd be great. | |
| Oh, Travis View, Chameleon Powers, obviously. | |
| He was so good at obscuring his identity. | |
| He was so good at obscuring his identity, he didn't even realize he was doing it. | |
| He was like, I just assumed you all knew that this wasn't really me. | |
| And they're just like, shut up! | |
| You were hiding it! | |
| Oh god, that happened recently where Jace 2 posted a thing where it was like, Travis View broadcasts under his pseudonym on his podcast, and his real name is Logan Strand. | |
| And it's like, bro, that's been known for a fucking year at this point. | |
| Calm down. | |
| Yeah, many of us have seen the delightful tweets of the guy who is the picture that he uses. | |
| And that guy seems like he's just a good dude. | |
| Yes. | |
| I don't know anything about the other QAnon Anonymous people enough to give them any sort of powers. | |
| Mike Rothschild's gotta be just like Professor X, right? | |
| He's like the leader. | |
| Because I feel like any powers I'd want to ascribe to him would be based on the fact that they would hate that he's Jewish, and I don't want to play in that sandbox. | |
| So he's Professor X! | |
| Or maybe he's Professor Parentheses. | |
| It's just like, Professor Griep, parentheses. | |
| Oh, that'd be great. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| I don't know whoever I'm missing. | |
| You guys got to fill in because I don't know these people. | |
| No, you got them all. | |
| You did a bang up job, sir. | |
| I appreciate you. | |
| That's why Elle is crushing it here on the podcast this week. | |
| The rest of the QAnon anonymous people are like the defenders. | |
| It's like, we'll talk about that when they get the roadshows. | |
| Yes. | |
| So, finally, what are you guys looking forward to? | |
| Oh man, we already did Spider-Man last week. | |
| Which is pure copaganda! | |
| Oh my god, I can't believe that discourse. | |
| What the fuck is copaganda? | |
| Is it like pro-cop or anti-cop? | |
| Yeah, pro-cop. | |
| Basically, there's this sub-genre of lunatics on Twitter who believe that pretty much every television show that involves cops, where the cops aren't murderous psychopaths, is like this pro-cop propaganda. | |
| Now, copaganda is real. | |
| There's like blue bloods and that kind of shit. | |
| Fuckin' God. | |
| But these people go that extra mile and they're like, Brooklyn Nine-Nine? | |
| Fuckin' copaganda. | |
| The Wire? | |
| Copaganda. | |
| And it's just, what do you mean? | |
| Yeah, The Wire really paints cops in a great light. | |
| Yeah, Brooklyn Nine-Nine. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| It's just so ridiculous. | |
| Crazy. | |
| I can't believe you would watch that movie and get that sort of read from it. | |
| I guess if you just insist that all cops have to be depicted as bastards all the time, then sure, there are some cop characters that aren't mean-spirited dickheads. | |
| I can't make a point against it without doing a big spoiler. | |
| Yeah, hmm. | |
| Whatever, shut up, losers. | |
| Yeah, yeah, exactly. | |
| Anyway, what are we looking forward to? | |
| God, it's, I mean, like, I'm looking forward to having my light medical stuff resolved. | |
| I'm just so sick and tired of having to field phone calls. | |
| Like, I told somebody today, I was just like, yeah, I have to go get blood work today to try to figure out how I can cure getting three phone calls a day. | |
| And that's sort of where I'm at, because I just fucking hate phone calls. | |
| And like, yesterday, I felt bad. | |
| I got snippy when I finally picked up one of the ladies that I was They were just like, hey, is this lettered or did you just touch a base? | |
| And I was just like, yep, it's lettered. | |
| Sorry, I haven't been back in touch with you. | |
| I have a job. | |
| And that was sort of what I told them. | |
| I was just like, yeah, I work a job. | |
| It's literally like two o'clock now and I happen to be at my job. | |
| So like, let's fucking wrap this up. | |
| Anyway, yeah, I'll be pumped to be relieved from the burden of having to talk to people on the phone. | |
| Speaking of jobs, I am looking forward to, I'm excited about, I have started my new job and I get to do drone photography again. | |
| I have a drone, which I'm sourcing names for. | |
| I'm going to name my drone here soon. | |
| Drone and McDrone Face. | |
| That's what I named the last one. | |
| Oh, was that the last one? | |
| Yeah. | |
| OK, well, in that case, Shrek. | |
| Nailed it. | |
| Got it in one. | |
| Slava Ukraine. | |
| Dronie DeVito. | |
| Yes. | |
| Dronie DeVito. | |
| That's so lazy. | |
| Dronie DeVito. | |
| That's so sad. | |
| I'm here for any pro-Ukraine thing you can say for the drone, because that's literally all Ukrainian war footage. | |
| Drones blowing up Russians. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Slava Ukraine. | |
| That should be the name of your drone. | |
| Yeah, I'll figure out some Ukrainian cryptid. | |
| You'll have to find one, oh god. | |
| That'd be great. | |
| Droney Glover aka Childish Gambidrone. | |
| You can't just sub drone into anything. | |
| Oh, I absolutely can and will. | |
| I know what our group chat discourse will be for the next week. | |
| It's just El putting drone in things. | |
| Lady Drone Drone. | |
| That should not have killed as hard as it did. | |
| I'm so gutty and punchy right now. | |
| Well, luckily we're almost home. | |
| We just have to wait for you to tell us what you're looking forward to there, mate. | |
| Yeah, take us home. | |
| Two more wins in the Stanley Cup Finals of your Las Vegas Golden Knights who have beaten the brakes off of the evil Florida Panthers in the first two games. | |
| So hopefully the Knights can bring it home so I can betray the Boston Bruins completely. | |
| And support the team that I was not in town for when they were created, but I did live out in Vegas for five years, so I'm allowed to do this. | |
| Screw all of you. | |
| And on top of that, just getting ready to hopefully, oh, go out to the Salem Willows at some ill-defined point in the near future if the air quality isn't murderous. | |
| And visiting the Clam Shack, because they're open now, and I can get myself a cheap lobster, which is always delightful. | |
| Lobster. | |
| Lobster. | |
| Just getting a lobster and some shrimp. | |
| I just pictured it like no utensils, you just picking it up as one whole unit, just crunching right into it. | |
| Yeah, just a straight bite. | |
| Like an apple. | |
| Like an apple, yeah. | |
| Straight bite into the exoskeleton, just chomping up. | |
| The old Venom maneuver to call it back to Spider-Man. | |
| Yes. | |
| I mean, maybe you and I might need to coordinate sometime in the not-too-distant future because I've been looking to try to go on a little road trip for some clams, so I'll be in touch because the fried clam lust has been upon me for the past calendar year. | |
| I missed out last year. | |
| Yeah, fair, fair. | |
| We will touch base. | |
| Yes, that will happen. | |
| Well, on that note, it's time for us to get into our, uh, let's say scenic New England, uh, boats and fuckin' drift off into the horizon, uh, away from Hellworld for the week. | |
| Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. | |
| If you'd like to support the show, uh, for- for free, f- f- f- further. | |
| That was the word I was looking for. | |
| F- f- f- f- f- further! | |
| You got it. | |
| For free, you could do so by leaving us a five-star review, whatever podcast platform you happen to be receiving us from. | |
| If you have money and you'd like to support the show with it, we'll be happy to take it. | |
| God knows we talk about selling out so much. | |
| Of course we like money. | |
| you can visit patreon.com slash poker politics to tip your dealers. Anybody who gives us five | |
| dollars or more a month gets access to all of our bonus content past, present, and future, | |
| including the new secret bonus content drop that Mike Rains just did with a special guest star. | |
| So that's good stuff. | |
| There's over 50 hours of bonus content available, so if you're feeling generous, $5 or more a month, we'll join you up for that. | |
| And you can be part of our crib of beautifuller babies, like our good friend this week, Aaron. | |
| Aaron is our new beautiful baby. | |
| He's double A-Ron. | |
| God, that sketch must have ruined your life for a little while, and my sympathies go out to you. | |
| Thank you so much for your support. | |
| If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we totally get it. | |
| You can do some good with it in any number of ways, but one that we suggest is donating to love146.org. | |
| They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation. | |
| That's in their own words. | |
| Thanks as always for the use of our intro music. | |
| It goes out to DJ Minimal Effort, who is still not on social media. | |
| However, our buddy Frosty remains on social media, at FrostyVO. | |
| You can find him there on Twitter. | |
| You can find the show that you're listening to, that's right! | |
| Hellworld gets third billing during our social shoutouts because we're just such nice guys. | |
| And you can find us on Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. Myself, at HellworldL, spelled the same way. | |
| Sarge, at SargeatHell. | |
| And Mike Rains is at, of course, at PokerPolitics. | |
| So... Wow, I just cannot get these fucking words out right now, guys. | |
| This is some hot shit. | |
| Yeah, you're right to silently applaud me because you mute during the outro, which I appreciate, and I deserve it. | |
| I'm fucking up real bad. | |
| So, for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hell World Podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious Al, joined as always by the not-so-mysterious Sarge and our expert at all things, QAnon Crazy, Mr. Mike Rains. |