This week Sarge, L, and Mike bask in the glory of Santos getting arrested and Trump getting convicted in civil court. Also the right tried to claim a Nazi mass shooter was totally not a Nazi cause defending Nazis is apparently an important thing for these people now. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| You You | |
| You Content Warning... | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am MyBrands, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I am joined by Sarge. | |
| Some damn fine coffee. | |
| Twin Peaks reference. | |
| Show I've never watched. | |
| And the mysterious El. | |
| Oh, hi, beautiful babies. | |
| The room reference. | |
| Movie I've never watched. | |
| That synergy. | |
| I don't feel like I need to either. | |
| So the problem is, if I was ever going to take the plunge, I would only ever want to do it with a group of other people who had not seen it yet. | |
| Because I feel like if I were to watch it with a group of enthusiasts, I would just feel their piercing gaze upon me as they scrutinize me for reactions to their favorite part of their dumb thing. | |
| It's sort of the same thing with Rocky Horror. | |
| Like back when, because I knew a lot of people that were enthusiastic about Rocky Horror as a drama kid in high school. | |
| And, you know, they were they were doing like shadow play stuff and all that. | |
| Like, you know, the shadow cast stuff. | |
| And that's cool. | |
| You know, I wasn't trying to like harsh their vibe or whatever, but I was never that interested in doing it because I never really gave much of a fuck about the Rocky Horror Picture Show. | |
| In fact, whenever I meet anyone who's still, like, really a huge fan of it, I'm just like, you remember the second half, right? | |
| I mean, yeah, look, we all know and love the first half of Rocky Horror Picture Show. | |
| Don't get me wrong. | |
| The first half of Rocky Horror Picture Show is great. | |
| But the second half of Rocky Horror Picture Show is nothing. | |
| It sucks. | |
| It's awful. | |
| They're like aliens or whatever. | |
| Oh yeah, no, it goes off the rails. | |
| In the music it's bad. | |
| Like, all the best music's in the first half, whatever. | |
| It's like the signs of, uh, theater kid, like, LGBTQIA+, like, identifying, like, you know, letting your flag fly, cool shadow play and stuff. | |
| Also, some of the best songs were cut. | |
| Like, they're in the deleted scenes, uh, which people have shown me multiple times. | |
| It was like, oh, Like, I get why there's not a song after the house rockets off into space, but, like, the song they do after that is actually really good. | |
| Remember when for a time, the people that were hungry for such a thing started crying out for their thirst to be slaked? | |
| So I guess it's hunger and thirst in this metaphor. | |
| It's both. | |
| It's like the communion. | |
| And then, uh, because like, you know, it was like the formative years of the internet and it was getting easier for people to create stuff. | |
| Like they were just like, yes, here's Reboat the genetic opera, which some people were just like, this is good. | |
| And then anyone with taste was like, no, it's not though. | |
| I mean, it's cool if you like it, but it's not actually good. | |
| That's fine. | |
| I was super into it when it came out. | |
| You can still like it, but it's not good. | |
| It is, in fact, very bad. | |
| Which is fine. | |
| Sometimes you can like a thing that's bad. | |
| Again, I always tell everybody, when I talk shit like this, I'm just like, dude, I watch a lot of anime that's actively bad. | |
| This cuts both ways. | |
| I'm very much entertained by a lot of bad stuff. | |
| We share a Crunchyroll account. | |
| This is true. | |
| One of my favorite video games of all time is Kingdoms of Amular the Reckoning. | |
| That thing is like a solid 6 out of 10 at best or whatever. | |
| That game is not good. | |
| Isn't that made by Curt Schilling, the baseball player? | |
| It was. | |
| It was the one that bankrupted him and also sucked $70 million out of Rhode Island or whatever. | |
| Anyway, we're deep in the weeds at the beginning of this episode. | |
| Which is fine, because we don't have anything to talk about, because nothing newsworthy happened in the conservative QSphere this week. | |
| Yeah, we're just trying to run out the clock for our 90 minutes this week, folks. | |
| We got nothing. | |
| Absolutely nothing. | |
| Who's ready to talk more about how much I hate Ripa the Genetic Opera? | |
| But thankfully, so, Ripa the Genetic Opera fumbled the bag, and then the bag was, I guess, marginally retrieved by Dr. Horrible's sing-along blog. | |
| That was at least charming. | |
| And that was before Neil Patrick Harris was like, too omnipresent for a while. | |
| I feel like now NPH has settled into the groove he belongs in | |
| where I can be happy to see him when he shows up and stuff again. | |
| For a while he was everywhere and I was like, go away Neil Patrick Harris! | |
| Nobody cares about Doogie Howser! | |
| It's also before it came out that, uh, uh, Joss Whedon is like just a huge d-bag. | |
| Uh, no, I still stand with him because, you know, sometimes white men are just misunderstood, you know? | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| That's good. | |
| You're so brave. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Time for us to sneak in our men's rights activism podcast within a podcast. | |
| Yeah, that's exactly, that's been the dream the whole time. | |
| It's like the dark times of the internet that I remember were my favorite was I would get into all these atheist channels online and these guys would be like, Christians are stupid and creationism is bad! | |
| And I'd be like, yeah, you got them! | |
| And then like three months later I would be like, how's my favorite atheist doing on YouTube today? | |
| And I'd click on it and this guy would be like, and now let's talk about Gamergate and how I'm totally in favor of it! | |
| I'd be like, what the fuck? | |
| Why? | |
| There have been at least, like, three or four different YouTube channels where it was, like, a dude who was clearly, like, a white male, usually British, or Australian, I guess. | |
| One of the two, because I listen to a lot of both. | |
| They were just, like, talking about, like, a thing that they either liked or didn't like, and I just be like, yeah, our tastes align on this one, bud, I agree. | |
| And then they unironically use the term girlboss as a pejorative, and the video gets turned off, and the channel gets, like, clicked the button that says, do not recommend this to me anymore, because the only people who do that are douchebags. | |
| Like, if you've ever been inclined to just be like, pfft, girlboss bullshit, then no, our opinions do not align. | |
| Because why would you ever be offended? | |
| Oh god, I can't believe that this woman is kicking ass instead of a man. | |
| Why won't men ever kick some ass? | |
| Fucking stupid douchebags. | |
| God, I hate them. | |
| Anyway, speaking of stupid douchebags... Where are the male protagonists in my media? | |
| Come on! | |
| Don't worry, hypothetical person listening to the podcast. | |
| You're about to get to plenty of male quote-unquote protagonists, as every story we talk about is about a white man, I think. | |
| Or at least people kind of like alighting themselves with white men. | |
| What a time to be alive. | |
| So let's start with our fluffiest news of the week, the abuse-boosh. | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| Get ready for the amuse-bouche. | |
| Up top, I just love how like now I have to sometimes do a disclaimer where it's just like, well actually, sorry, let me correct myself. | |
| This week not all of the white supremacists are white. | |
| It's just, god, I hate the reality that we've loaded into. | |
| Anyway, amuse-bouche topic number one! | |
| George Santos. | |
| We were discussing how fun it was going to be to talk about what was coming down the pipeline for George Santos last night, when the plan was for him to just go to the courthouse or whatever today and like talk to some people. | |
| Yeah, well, they upped the ante on us this morning with what is essentially breaking news, because now that like his going to court level has been upgraded from like doing it of his own volition to arrested. | |
| He upgraded himself. | |
| He leveled up overnight. | |
| So I'll turn it over to Mike Raines, who hopefully has done a little more digging, because all I did was read the headline. | |
| Mike, what's up with George Santos, and why have they evolved into the newly arrested George Santos? | |
| The newly arrested George Santos is now facing a 13-count indictment from federal prosecutors with 7 counts of wire fraud, 3 counts of money laundering, 1 count of theft of public funds, that sounds expensively delightful, and 2 counts of making materially false statements to the House of Representatives, aka lying about all that other shit. | |
| And that's how most of it is money, because of course it is, because America. | |
| There's just like a billion counts of doing stuff bad with money, and also two just sort of token counts of lying to us about your entire identity. | |
| Like you've lied about literally everything in your whole life, but what we're really getting you on is money. | |
| Well, the big thing that I read was that Santos had an associate tell people, Hey, this is like Santos PAC. | |
| This is the thing you donate to, to help the Santos campaign win this house seat, which we need for house control. | |
| And then these donors were like, sounds good to me. | |
| And then they cut checks to Santos PAC. | |
| And then Santos took that money, put it in his personal business account, put it in his personal account, and then started buying shit with it. | |
| Just not campaign-related, was just like, boom! | |
| Time to get some fancy clothes! | |
| Time to just get whatever I want! | |
| Thanks for the money, suckers! | |
| And... Yeah, and also his real name is Ron Smith, and he's like a 12-year-old girl from Guatemala. | |
| Like, everything about his identity is as max-wrong as it could be, so... | |
| I guess if you ever gave him, like, if you legally gave him money for campaign contributions, that should also have still been illegal for him to receive, because everything about his life is built on a lie! | |
| It's so funny. | |
| If anything, if they were gonna come after all the, like, if they were gonna, like, go after his money in this way, it should just be, like, infinity counts of, uh, like, you know, theft by fraud or whatever. | |
| Like, 100,000 counts of it. | |
| Literally every nickel you got besides your entry-level jobs at Hot Topic and McDonald's, every job you've held since then has been fraudulent in some way, shape, or form. | |
| You lied to get the job in some way and then defrauded the company you were working for because you couldn't do the job. | |
| You know, we talked about this before, but it seemed like it was always just an option for him to, like, continue living in Brazil, like, living his best life. | |
| Where he was just, like, doing whatever he was doing by day, and there was just, like, a popular drag queen by night, all smiles. | |
| But no, he had to come here for some reason. | |
| He also could have resigned. | |
| Well, I mean, let's not go crazy. | |
| Once you're there, you got to dig in. | |
| That's the true way. | |
| He always had the option to resign. | |
| And it turns out when politicians do a lot of crimes vis-a-vis campaign finances, when they resign, not all of it, but a lot of the investigation tends to kind of just go away. | |
| Uh, I'm not saying it would have, but it would have been a lot less stringent. | |
| Yeah, I mean, we're learning now that a lot of these conservative ding-dongs, they're like bees, and they sting America, but then when they go to finally pull away, their organs get sucked out of their body, and things get real bad for them real fast. | |
| Donald Trump stung us for four years, and then we were just like, OK, we'll just get him out of office, and that's fine. | |
| And then as soon as the out-of-office part was there, it was just like, well, now things are just going to get much worse for him every day for the duration. | |
| And, like, up to and including, like, you know, our headline news for this week. | |
| Spoiler warning. | |
| So. | |
| Right. | |
| It's just like, yeah, don't worry, though. | |
| Our headline news is going to also includes the world's greatest white male comeback story. | |
| Oh no, that's our second Boosh item. | |
| So much actual stuff is happening in the news that we could just get, let's just get right to it. | |
| Because I don't think Q has much to say about George Santos now that he's like dead weight, right? | |
| Yeah, so I have a minor correction with our next Boosh item. | |
| No, the one thing I was gonna say is Q is defending George Santos as being part of quote-unquote the PSYOP narrative war. | |
| Okay, just kidding then. | |
| QAnon remains insane. | |
| So we're going to stick on this for a second. | |
| So wait a minute. | |
| Is he an operative for or against the Cabal? | |
| Which side of the Psy-Op is he on? | |
| So Santos is a white hat. | |
| He's a good guy. | |
| And basically, The bad guys are trying to use these fake smears against Santos in an effort to keep all the news about the House hearings against Biden's corruption and his ties to China. | |
| They're trying to keep that House committee meeting out of the headlines by attacking Santos with these charges against him for the actual crimes he totally committed. | |
| Well, it's not going to work on us because you better believe that in our news segment we're going to have... | |
| Sorry, I'm getting word from the booth that, no, it did work. | |
| We're not talking about that. | |
| Is that a thing? | |
| Is that a thing that we're just not talking about because it's boring? | |
| Or is it not even a thing? | |
| It's hard to tell with QAnon. | |
| It's a thing. | |
| They're holding these hearings. | |
| This is like the shit they did where they investigated Benghazi 73 times to make Hillary Clinton look bad. | |
| They're just doing anything they can to be like, hey, some family member of Biden's got some money from China for a thing that happened. | |
| And it's like, yeah, his great-nephew is a translator at a Chinese school. | |
| It's a thing, or whatever. | |
| Isn't it true that your son, Hunter Biden, enjoys sushi, President Biden? | |
| And it's just like, that's not even Chinese. | |
| What racist malarkey is this? | |
| Our dead-on Biden impression from hell. | |
| It's a retread of his old guy. | |
| It's pretty. | |
| It's not. | |
| I mean, you need to study it. | |
| Well, our president is, what, 82 or whatever? | |
| Pushing 89? | |
| He will be 86 when he leaves office after winning re-election. | |
| That's the Biden time tracker. | |
| Yeah, but like, historically, we all know that the presidency is like a fucking reverse hyperbaric time chamber for your body. | |
| Like, every one year in the presidency is like five years on your body. | |
| Look what happened before Obama. | |
| That would just be a normal hyperbolic time chamber. | |
| No, it's... Wait, what? | |
| See? | |
| You fucked it! | |
| You just gotta trust me on this one, mate. | |
| And let's move on. | |
| Okay. | |
| Especially because you said you have some sort of correction, which is funny. | |
| We haven't even really gotten into it yet. | |
| So, I mean, this is gonna be a hell of a correction. | |
| Alright, we'll correct away. | |
| Okay, well, so we're gonna be talking about Tucker and how he's maybe bringing his show back on Twitter, which is a nightmare and dumb, but I said previously that no one that could afford Tucker would want him, and I apparently was wrong. | |
| And that Newsmax and Rumble were both offering him more money than he was making at Fox to bring a show there. | |
| He just can't bring a show on another news network until 2025, per his contract with Fox. | |
| Fox is still paying, they fired him, but unless someone buys out his contract, they're still paying him and he can't do another news show until 25. | |
| So, but Newsmax, I said no one would have him that could afford him. | |
| No, apparently Rumble and Newsmax have deep pockets and they want Tucker. | |
| Well, yeah, I mean, behind all of these like, like crazy conservative people is some sort of insane billionaire, like, or like a handful of them, you know? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Like, if you just follow the money, at some point, you're going to get to some wacky billionaire. | |
| It's all going to make sense. | |
| It's gonna be like, oh, some stupid oil tycoon. | |
| Now I get it. | |
| That makes a lot of sense. | |
| Yeah, and Rumble wants to be the new racist YouTube, like Kik wants to be the new racist Twitch. | |
| The thing that makes me really confused about the Newsmax offer is what are they thinking when they're also about to owe Dominion several trillion dollars? | |
| Let's buy Tucker, have six months of success, and then our Dominion lawsuit hits and we lose just the same way as Fox did. | |
| And then our Tucker money goes away. | |
| Maybe they foolishly decide to actually fight the fight. | |
| Maybe they're like, we're patriots, it did nothing wrong, we're fighting this one. | |
| In which case, Tucker Carlson not going there is going to be a very wise move because they're going to turn it into a crater. | |
| They're gonna turn it into one of those streaming country music radio stations. | |
| Just like, wildly happens when you're on the top of the dial up at like, | |
| you know, channel 1900 on your Dish Network thing. | |
| I can't even remember the last time I had normal TV. | |
| Yeah, I mean, we don't have demographic information, or at least I've never seen it, but I have to imagine that most of the people listening to this show do still remember what cable slash satellite TV was. | |
| If we were hipper or appealed to a younger audience that cared about the stuff that we talk about, then they would be very confused a lot of the time, but specifically right now. | |
| They'd be like, what are you talking about? | |
| 1900 channels of what? | |
| YouTube has infinity channels. | |
| It's usually pretty bad, too. | |
| The 1900 channels. | |
| When was the last time you flipped through normal TV? | |
| It fucking sucks. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| I mean, it always sucked. | |
| Remember when you'd be high up at the dial and you'd hit ESPN 4 or whatever? | |
| And then you'd be streaming Pro Tour 1997 for Magic the Gathering. | |
| You're like, what's going on? | |
| Yeah, I definitely caught some professional tag on the TV the other day, which is Like, very entertaining to watch, but also holy shit, why is this on TV? | |
| It's entertaining to watch for the same reason that NASCAR ever was, is you're just like, if any of these guys messes up in the wrong way, they're gonna totally just obliterate themselves. | |
| Yeah, they're gonna bash their foreheads. | |
| When I watch those guys just like flying headfirst towards walls and stuff, playing competitive tag, I'm just like, oh god, when this goes wrong, I actually kind of don't want to see it. | |
| At least at NASCAR there's a nice big metal frame around the carnage. | |
| Anyway. | |
| Yeah. | |
| This conversation about Tucker Carlson turned grim. | |
| Yeah, because Tucker's an idiot. | |
| And like, obviously Elon negotiated some sort of deal, but like, there is no good way to monetize a show on Twitter. | |
| No one wants to watch a show on Twitter. | |
| But Twitter's doing so well right now. | |
| Oh yeah, Twitter's just killing it. | |
| And it is so wild that you have this idea for this show. | |
| One person I saw on Twitter posted about how the Venn diagram of Tucker's audience and people who are savvy enough to use Twitter to watch a half hour or hour long show are two separate circles. | |
| I mean, Tucker's audience is all 65 and plus boomers who just want to be scared of the world. | |
| And have white grievance. | |
| Yeah, who famously trusts Twitter. | |
| Right, yeah. | |
| So those people, the idea that you're going to pull those people onto Twitter to watch Tucker's show is very bizarre. | |
| And even if you manage to achieve that goal, even if Tucker's feed generates all this traffic, It's literally just people watching him. | |
| What are you gonna do, like, stick ads into the video stream of Tucker? | |
| Which, Jesus Christ, I mean, that's not gonna make you any money. | |
| And these people are not gonna sub for Twitter Blue. | |
| You're not gonna get your eight bucks out of them. | |
| He can just be drinking his, like, hard right beer label out. | |
| Maybe he's going to go the way of selling supplements. | |
| He's going to have like Tucker Dick Extends Pills or whatever, and they're going to be great. | |
| I mean, Alex Jones is only, he's just running out the clock at this point. | |
| So there's going to be a space. | |
| You mean against the Grim Reaper? | |
| Yeah. | |
| If the Grim Reaper is probate court, But, they're like, man, if Tucker really does start a new independent, like, Alex Jones-style show, he's just gonna eat up all of Alex Jones's, like, market share. | |
| Oh, I mean, he's definitely doing a new show. | |
| He wouldn't announce something like this if he wasn't planning on doing it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I don't think it- Like, Elon was just like, hey man, like, I'm a big free speech proponent. | |
| Look at how many billions of dollars I'm throwing into the fireplace apparently as, like, a free speech proponent. | |
| You should do your thing on Twitter. | |
| And also, you might legally be able to do that versus taking it to another network. | |
| You might be able to continue to do a show on Twitter while fighting Fox in court or whatever. | |
| I have to assume if he could legally do it on YouTube, he'd be doing it on YouTube. | |
| So that contract must like... I obviously don't know the wording, but it must say you can't do anything on like YouTube or Rumble or an equivalent. | |
| Well, the other thing is I think that he's being paid by Elon to do this. | |
| Elon's throwing money at him to get him on Twitter, thinking that he's recruiting talent for Twitter, which... | |
| That's not what Twitter is about. | |
| Twitter is this weird zeitgeisty thing where we all watch a TV show or a sports event and comment on it in real time, and then you dig around Twitter to find people who share the same beliefs as you and the same interests, and you get on that vibe. | |
| Twitter isn't a place where people go for video content. | |
| It's absolutely not that platform. | |
| It's so bizarre that Elon thinks this is a thing he can make Twitter into. | |
| Well, who knows what he can make it into. | |
| Because currently, this is what Twitter looks like when I go to see it. | |
| Twitter is a place for conservatives to pay $8 a month to get a blue checkmark, which means they get to post on Twitter. | |
| And then they say wrong, stupid shit. | |
| And then liberals, who do not pay for Twitter, get to add the context slash, like, you know, like, fact-checking tag to it. | |
| So, a conservative, like, gets on Twitter and rants to their heart's content, and then below that you have some friendly liberal tagging it to just be like, this person is wrong, and here are, like, receipts. | |
| Yeah, I mean... And because conservatives are immune to facts, everybody wins. | |
| They get to say whatever they want, and other conservatives that don't care about those little liberal tags on the bottom with their fuckin' accurate information and reporting and resources being cited, uh, fuck them. | |
| Ignore those tags. | |
| Just read the post and believe in it. | |
| Yeah! | |
| Feelings do not care about your facts. | |
| That is the new conservative mantra when it comes to the world today. | |
| In just a couple of months, Elon really, genuinely took the Twitter blue checkmark, which did have some meaning before all this, and turned it into, like, the only people I see that have it now are 99% the worst. | |
| and just like spicy conservative shit takes and then like some streamers i still follow on twitter because they like need it for the metrics and engagement otherwise their tweets get pushed down like i saw yeah who can expect them to take a stand against something by maybe suffering some uh tangible loss That's crazy. | |
| Yeah, I would love to support your cause, but at the end of the day, that would affect me negatively. | |
| So no, I don't care about your cause. | |
| Look at me. | |
| I'm one of the proud people who are just like, yeah, I'm one of the good guys that still has a blue check mark. | |
| I'm paying for it, but I'm good. | |
| I'm fighting from the inside. | |
| No, you're not, you goon. | |
| Just take the hit, whatever. | |
| Stand up for something or don't, but you don't get to have it both ways. | |
| Yeah, I remember the Halcyon days when I wanted a blue checkmark, and now it's just like, nope, fuck this. | |
| Absolutely no way, shape, or form am I giving Elon any money. | |
| And it's, it is so wild to, if you get to any level of sort of credibility with being a liberal debunker on Twitter now, holy shit, are your replies just an absolute toilet bowl. | |
| Because Ben Collins, anything he posts on Twitter, Like the first 30 replies were all blue checkmarks. | |
| There's howling at him like just gibbering morons. | |
| It's so wild. | |
| I'm sure Mike Rothschild's fucking reply section is equally bad cesspool because of his last name, but I just can't wait till that magical moment where I step on the rake where I managed to offend someone in the checkmark community and they just come for me and they just get so mad because it happened. | |
| The funny thing that happened for me was A couple of QAnon guys came at me, and then one of them got suspended for 12 hours, and then he was just like, fuck poker, don't engage with him, his asshole fans will get you suspended, urgh! | |
| So like, somehow I immunitized myself from these people, because one guy got a slap on the wrist for something he said, which was hilarious. | |
| Well, you know what? | |
| We have to prove that we still have the power. | |
| So, Mike Range, choose a target, and then we'll stick our powerful fans on them. | |
| We'll be like, go use your liberalism to defeat them on Twitter. | |
| Uh, well, I, uh, Awakened Outlaw always claims I'm going after him, so I will not go after him. | |
| Got him! | |
| Get him! | |
| No, Jordan Sather. | |
| Girl, get! | |
| Let's get Jordan Sather suspended from Twitter. | |
| If we can do it. | |
| If we have that power. | |
| Flag all his dumb shit. | |
| Even his shitty photos still have me blocked. | |
| That's Martin Geddes. | |
| Sather's the bleach guy. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Sorry, I get all these fucking grifters mixed up. | |
| We haven't talked about Geddes in a million years. | |
| Well, yeah, that's because we only talk about people who are at least sort of relevant. | |
| Anyway, that's a good call, guys. | |
| Divide and conquer. | |
| It'll make our mission look stealthier. | |
| You have your targets. | |
| We're like three different generals in, like, anime style. | |
| We're just like, you have your targets, and then our fan base just, like, makes that, like, vanished away. | |
| They just disappear. | |
| My favorite thing I've seen recently was, because so many of these fucking grifting scum got their accounts back thanks to Elon, but Martin Geddes doesn't, and he's absolutely insane. | |
| Like, he literally posted his mental breakdown about how the deep state moved an umbrella in his apartment, and it's proved they're messing with him. | |
| And it was like, no, you just misplaced that umbrella, and now you're having a psychotic break and thinking it was moved by someone else. | |
| But someone posted, the reason why Martin isn't getting his account back is he's too even-keeled and level-headed, and people would see how somber and serious QAnon supporters are, and it would destroy their narrative of us being all wackadoos and crazy people. | |
| And it's like, no, Martin's actually the most mentally ill QAnon supporter I know. | |
| He's actually, he actually has like definable symptoms that you can see through his posting that he's like fucking having a psychotic break. | |
| On fucking social media. | |
| It's ridiculous. | |
| My God, the man needs help. | |
| I just had to watch Cat Turd post a fucking dumb smile response to Ben Collins tweeting about our upcoming news item. | |
| Yeah, the Agatha Harkness wink emoji gif. | |
| You know, I will have to give them credit. | |
| Rare giving credit to the QAnon community moment. | |
| So brave. | |
| Every once in a while, to keep the people interested, you gotta say something nice about QAnon, I guess. | |
| And in this particular instance, the thing I will say that's nice about QAnon is that they are incredible credit givers. | |
| In order for their narrative to work, they have to give everyone all the credit in the world. | |
| Like, the Deep State has all the credit, they're just like, dude, Moloch is in control, everything they want is just like a slam-dunk success because of the steady hand on the wheel, and that hand happens to be Jewish. | |
| And that's obviously not true, because we've all wanted some universal healthcare here for a long time, still don't have it, so good work, the Deep State. | |
| And that's just one of many things that we want and don't have. | |
| But also, they have to give all of their heroes credit for being, like, incredibly great in a bunch of ways that are secret and hard to, like, oh, only the chosen few know the real greatness of this person. | |
| Because saying that somebody's, like, too even-keeled, like, they're just, like, wow. | |
| That person can't be allowed to speak because they are too even-keeled. | |
| That's, like, so insane to me. | |
| Just, like, my god, how moderate they are. | |
| Their moderate powers would awaken everyone. | |
| If you give them a platform to speak, they'll just radiate neutrality in every little part of their will. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| What Al said there is one of my favorite things about QAnon, and it is that they have these two contradictory beliefs that are absolutely bedrock tenets of the movement, which is A, In a free and fair election, Donald Trump would win in a 50-state landslide over any of his opponents because he's a universally beloved public figure in America. | |
| At the same time, Trump's mortal enemies, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, etc., etc., if they were arrested It would trigger a civil war. | |
| It would trigger absolute nightmarish riots in the streets, people freaking out, everyone losing their shit. | |
| Because Obama, Hillary, and Biden are equally universally beloved public figures that no one could tolerate and see being arrested. | |
| So that's the world we live in, where everyone's universally beloved, even though they're mortal enemies of diametrically opposed positions on everything. | |
| The people of New York might have something to say about that. | |
| Well, Mike, I hate to break it to you, but I have figured out a way for that to work on behalf of our lesser-minded QAnon friends. | |
| So if they want to take this one, they can. | |
| But as we've seen, with all the persecution for Donald Trump, what they really stand for is the integrity of the idea of the presidency of the United States. | |
| You know, you can't go after a former president for, like, crimes. | |
| Or whatever. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| So in that regard, even if their mortal enemy is somebody like Barack Obama, like, that person used to be the President, man. | |
| You can't just go put them in irons. | |
| That demeans the Presidency itself. | |
| You have to punish them. | |
| The punitive measures are coming. | |
| We just have to figure out what they're going to be in a way that preserves the integrity of the Presidency. | |
| Hillary Clinton? | |
| She's the former First Lady of the President of the United States of America. | |
| Mike, put some respect on it. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| When you're the president, you could carve a face. | |
| Yes! | |
| Speaking of former presidents of the United States of America that we all respect very much, let's get to our Cues in the News. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News. | |
| Dr. and Mr. President Donald J. Trump Well, there we go. | |
| The system works. | |
| this, it was a civil suit this time, right? | |
| Yes, so technically he was found liable. | |
| He was found liable. | |
| My God, so libelous. | |
| Found liable for sexual assault but not rape and defamation. | |
| Well there we go. | |
| The system works. | |
| Donald Trump's never raped anyone. | |
| Oh my God, the amount of QAnon people who've been screaming about not guilty on rape, let | |
| me tell you something Bob, is hilarious. | |
| The attempts to try to spin this thing as a W for Trump are incredible. | |
| Well, we'll get there. | |
| We'll get there, easy. | |
| Tug on the leash a bit, migrates like a dog! | |
| It's a mad dog, migrates! | |
| First, again, we do have listeners who do not live in the United States, so for them, let's give them just like a little brief rundown of what was going on with this trial and what he was actually liable for doing. | |
| So, basically, Trump was accused by Jean Carroll, who I hope I got the name of that right, and if I didn't, I'm sure everyone will correct me. | |
| That's how I've heard it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| She accused Trump of sexually assaulting slash raping her. | |
| The statute of limitations had run out on all of this, but then Trump basically posted more shit insulting her and going after her, which reopened the Pandora's box to try this case. | |
| New York has a sexual assault survivors law, which allows adult survivors of sexual assault, it was originally put there for People children abused by priests, they can they have a one time shot to take it to their abusers in New York. | |
| If that's where it happened, they get a one time shot and her case fit those criteria. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So she brought this case forward, had witnesses, testified herself, did all that good stuff. | |
| Trump presented no defense. | |
| He did not, there were no witnesses called by Trump. | |
| Trump himself claimed he was going to testify at one point and then obviously did not do so. | |
| And then posted on social media whining about how he'd been silenced and he was not allowed to defend himself. | |
| And this is all, Yeah, well why would he possibly even try to defend himself against such a witch kangaroo, you know? | |
| Yes! | |
| At one point, the bullshit Trump was doing got his lawyer brought before the judge to talk about this shit. | |
| And his lawyer said, Your Honor, you know what I'm going through. | |
| To explain the situation. | |
| Holy shit. | |
| To which the judge was probably sort of like, yeah, you have the worst client in the history of clients. | |
| I get it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Them's the brakes, buddy. | |
| You took this case, you huge dumb dumb. | |
| So. | |
| He's like, you know what I'm going through your honor. | |
| I have to pay a mortgage or whatever. | |
| So I'm going to allow Donald Trump to pay me $500,000 to lose this case. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I was going to say Trump and Alex Jones have to be like the worst fucking clients. | |
| Alex Jones was on, like, 30 lawyers. | |
| Trump's on, like, lawyer who knows how many. | |
| I think he managed to keep the same one for this whole case, however. | |
| Yeah, I guess. | |
| But if you stick a microphone on one of those guys' face at the end of, like, one of these cases that they lose or whatever, I just picture them just sitting there, like, literally just egregiously leafing through the bag, you know, just fat stacks, just counting out their money and just being like, yeah, it's a shame we lost this one. | |
| I'm really disappointed. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| I'm not. | |
| I'm not defending this lawyer. | |
| I don't feel bad for him for one fucking bit. | |
| But man, yeah, being able to find a lawyer that will take this case had to be challenging because he also has a habit of not paying his lawyers. | |
| I think Rudy at one point sued him for like non-payment or might actively still be a million people paying him. | |
| Oh yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, if you take a fucking Trump case, you're like, cash up front, motherfucker. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| You pay before we even start. | |
| Yeah, go out there and sell some more Trump NFTs, you know? | |
| Remember those ones that were so wildly successful because they were worth so much? | |
| Yeah, they did a second printing. | |
| They did more. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah, there's part two. | |
| That's great. | |
| I mean, they got to get as much of that GriffBuddy in as they can now that it's very clear that the NFT market is bottoming out precipitously. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| What a wonderful little bubble of money that was. | |
| Holy shit, man. | |
| You could have seen it coming. | |
| Not me. | |
| I know I'm absolutely stone broke because I invested in so many bored apes. | |
| You have no idea how many apes I have. | |
| Oh, my apes. | |
| They're so worthless now. | |
| What is Jimmy Fallon gonna do? | |
| He bought that ape and now it's worthless. | |
| And now he can't work either. | |
| Sucks to suck, Jimmy Fallon. | |
| Boom, the podcast finally got to our mortal enemy. | |
| We finally knocked him down a peg or two. | |
| We did it. | |
| Take that, you prick. | |
| Don't worry, James. | |
| I'm on your side. | |
| Wait, are you defending James Corden or Jimmy Fallon? | |
| Uh, James Fallon. | |
| James, okay. | |
| His friends call him James. | |
| Alright. | |
| Very formal. | |
| Very formal with him. | |
| James Corden, I have no public opinion on. | |
| I do. | |
| Fuck that clown. | |
| Oh, right. | |
| We're a comedy show, not a news show. | |
| Everything we say is a hilarious show. | |
| Yeah, fuck that clown. | |
| That guy has always sucked. | |
| I never knew how he ended up on television to begin with. | |
| I was like, what the fuck? | |
| What sort of fever dream is this? | |
| What sort of GD wish did that guy get his hands on? | |
| How do you be talentless and fail that far up? | |
| Funny jokes on our comedy show! | |
| Anyway, so something that is actually true is that Trump is finally getting smacked around a little bit by the system, as it were, and that he has been found guilty of most of what he did. | |
| I mean, was alleged to have done. | |
| Right. | |
| Uh, in this case, uh, that he probably totally did all of. | |
| Oh, you don't have to say alleged anymore. | |
| He was found liable. | |
| Like, yeah. | |
| Well, but he was, he was not found so of rape. | |
| Right. | |
| But she claimed that that was the case. | |
| So I'm saying that like she had did allege that he raped her. | |
| And, uh, as a funny joke, I'll say that I totally believe her. | |
| Well, this is the thing about the the rape charge, and this is why the jury did not find Trump liable of it, was that in her testimony she explained, and I'm sorry, trigger warning for anyone because this is pretty graphic shit, but her story was that she could not tell If she was being penetrated by his fingers or his penis during the assault so she just she basically she couldn't see that area while he was assaulting her and she had no idea if it was his tiny mushroom penis or a finger that was inside her and and basically that's the New York rape charge involves actually using the pp | |
| Disgusting. | |
| situation. So as a result, that is why the rape charge came back not liable because they | |
| just she just didn't know. She didn't know exactly how he was assaulting her. | |
| Disgusting. | |
| Yuck. And it's unfortunate that that checks out based on what we know about his penis | |
| from Stormy Daniels, but gross and hopefully let us never discuss this again. But moving | |
| on now is the time where we can talk about QAnon's totally responsible and rational response | |
| to whatever is coming out of the website. | |
| And Republicans. | |
| with it, my grads. | |
| Oh, so there was a quick QAnon poll that came out after his conviction that was like, how do you support Trump? | |
| And it was like more, less, or same. | |
| And it was overwhelming more. | |
| Yeah, conviction for sexual assault only emboldens us. | |
| I mean, it is a little refreshing to see some honesty out of that camp, you know? | |
| Let's just take the mask off. | |
| We're a bunch of aggressive, allegedly cisgender, heterosexual white men. | |
| Let's just go ahead and say it. | |
| Yeah, we like sexually assaulting ladies. | |
| What of it? | |
| You're so brave. | |
| This is El's brave episode. | |
| El's such a brave boy. | |
| I mean, well, that was El portraying a character. | |
| Yes, that was El portraying QAnon, which was frighteningly accurate and correct. | |
| Oh god, so many senators and republicans, so many republicans are just like saying the The dumbest shit. | |
| Some actually defending Trump. | |
| Mike Pence giving the most mealy-mouthed horse shit ever. | |
| Where he's just like, I wasn't there for the trial, so I don't know what happened. | |
| Once again, Mitt Romney being like, Mitt Romney... | |
| Like, most of the time, it's just like, oh, you were just sort of like what I imagined Republicans were in the 90s, when I was too young and stupid to know anything about politics, because I was like a little child. | |
| But like, you know, back in the day where a Bill Clinton like blowjob scandal could destroy a presidency, like I imagine Mitt Romney is a sort of like Republican that was around back then, because he's just like, Yeah, Donald Trump, he probably shouldn't be the President of the United States considering he got convicted of this sex crime, you know? | |
| And people are like, boo, Mitt Romney, boo, what sort of Republican are you, man? | |
| It's a time-honored tradition to sexually assault women and cover it up. | |
| That's the way Republicans roll. | |
| Where are you sticking the mud, Romney? | |
| What's wrong with you, buddy? | |
| Let's be real, right? | |
| You're one of these MAGA guys. | |
| You're a badger's egg. | |
| You're going into your mind palace. | |
| It's the time when America was great, and you were on a flight. | |
| And a flight attendant is walking by you. | |
| Like, what do you think your appropriate responses to that are, as a manga idiot who- Remember, this is the time when America was great, and you're just like, ah, you're soakin' in- Am I smokin' a cigarette? | |
| Oh, you're smokin' as many cigarettes as you want. | |
| I mean, the obvious answer is firm, open-handed slap on the ass, and- Oh, absolutely. | |
| And then she'll giggle! | |
| Because she's into it! | |
| Because, you know, that's the way it was back then, man! | |
| Everybody wasn't so uptight, bro! | |
| Well, until my Mind Palace turned into a plane, my Republican Mind Palace was some sort of Southern plantation house. | |
| Not actually in slave time. | |
| We're a little further forward. | |
| It was when America was great. | |
| Yeah, you're just having a party on plantation property or whatever because it looks really nice. | |
| And we're dressing up. | |
| And but also still like there are no colored people. | |
| I mean, it's like people of color are nowhere to be seen. | |
| They're there. | |
| They're employed. | |
| Anyway, Republicans are the worst. | |
| We've always said this. | |
| Hey, you wonder why we're on this bit for so long? | |
| Because we don't want to talk about the next thing. | |
| And also, it's just like, you know, again, it's just like, how terrible do you have to be to have your hero get convicted of a sex crime and be more interested in them? | |
| More! | |
| I'm interested! | |
| More! | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| There were a bunch of people I saw replying because, again, any reputable Any reputable place posting about the conviction of Trump would immediately have all these blue checks swarming it. | |
| And they'd be like, don't care, Trump 2024. | |
| Just literally head down. | |
| You're just going to plow through it. | |
| Oh, what was it, that Agatha winking meme? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, all of it. | |
| Just all of it. | |
| We're totally cool with Trump. | |
| It's great. | |
| This is awesome. | |
| We got our boy and there's nothing he can do that's going to make us go for any other Republican. | |
| It really blows my mind that we have this cottage industry in America of people who tsk-tsk mainstream Democrats constantly. | |
| And we've got these people on social media talking about how You know, Democrats running Biden for re-election is a huge mistake because he's got so many weaknesses, blah blah blah. | |
| And there's nothing like this on the right, where there's nobody being like, guys, our boy is just basically as old as Biden, in way worse shape, way less cognitive abilities, also now convicted of sex crimes in civil court. | |
| indicted in criminal charges for the Michael Cohen shit, gonna get indicted for big boy crimes in the next few | |
| months. | |
| Real big boy ones. | |
| Right, and no one's saying like, you know, maybe we should give the Santas a chance. | |
| There's just no audience out there that's like, maybe renominating Trump is a fucking terrible idea. | |
| It's so fucked up. | |
| Which is great, because let's just take a quick little poll between the three of us liberal folks here on this podcast. | |
| How many of y'all back in the day were just like, you know who I can imagine being an eight-year, two-term president? | |
| Joe Biden. | |
| That guy's gonna get eight years one of these days. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Biden stumbling into two terms is a wild course of events. | |
| But hey, as Biden said at the White House Correspondents Dinner, don't compare me to the Almighty, compare me to my alternative. | |
| And it's just, it's like holy smokes. | |
| It's really no contest. | |
| Anyone who's mad at the two-party system and blah blah blah and all this, be mad at the Republicans. | |
| They're the ones nominating this absolute ball of shit and being like, this is it! | |
| These are your options. | |
| Biden or the ball of shit. | |
| The actual ball of shit. | |
| I said it before the run up to the election. | |
| I would vote for a dead cat against Trump. | |
| Like, whoever they put in the chair next to Trump, I was voting for them. | |
| It really didn't fucking matter. | |
| And I know that's not the most responsible thing to say. | |
| No, in this instance, it is the most responsible. | |
| It was the most responsible course of action. | |
| And anyone that tried to talk you out of that course of action was wrong in that. | |
| Like anybody who was writing in Bernie Sanders. | |
| All those people were wrong and bad in that instance. | |
| They were both wrong and bad. | |
| That was a bad, wrong move for them. | |
| We've talked about it multiple times. | |
| Progressivism... Getting a more progressive candidate in is a slow, ongoing process. | |
| We're not voting for the president. | |
| We're voting for the fucking Supreme Court. | |
| We're voting for judges. | |
| It is so important. | |
| Yeah, I agree with progressive politics, but real progressive people, they want political change at the pace that comes at the guillotine without the guillotine. | |
| They're just like, we're going to tear it down and rebuild it in five years. | |
| And it's just like, you can't do that. | |
| You literally cannot do that without a violent coup. | |
| That requires you burning it down to rebuild it that fast. | |
| And we had one of those. | |
| They tried to do that and it didn't work. | |
| So crazy. | |
| So it's just like, yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. | |
| We are aligned. | |
| It's just that I feel like I'm a little more pragmatic in the fact that it's more like erosion than like taking a sledgehammer to it, you know? | |
| Right. | |
| And I'm not happy about that either. | |
| I will be logged dead before it really pays off. | |
| You have to think of it long term. | |
| Like we're going to be around for at least 50, 60 more years before climate change kills all of us. | |
| So let's set it up for the last generation, you know, let's see what they can do with it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| We got to get them. | |
| We got to set them up to be able to get into space. | |
| Otherwise, that's it for humanity. | |
| Get your ass to Mars. | |
| All right. | |
| Do we want to talk about this Nazi in Texas? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, okay, here we go. | |
| Like, news item number two. | |
| Revisiting the mall shooting tragedy from last week, which we talked about. | |
| Big, big unsurprising here. | |
| Perpetrator was a Nazi. | |
| Now, as I alluded to earlier, it is slightly interesting because they are also not exactly Caucasian. | |
| So for more information, I'll turn it over to Mike Rades. | |
| Mike, what's up with this non-Caucasian white supremacist? | |
| Okay, so this guy is a Nazi, as has been stated previously. | |
| His social media- How can you be so sure that he's a Nazi? | |
| I mean, that word gets thrown around a lot these days. | |
| Well, a quick Google search will show you. | |
| He has a giant fucking swastika tattooed on his chest and another Nazi tattoo. | |
| I don't remember the- Is it an SS? | |
| It was an SS. | |
| Yeah, oh boy. | |
| Just the greatest hits of, this guy isn't. | |
| Uppercase in Nazi. | |
| The heart in Nazi. | |
| Before we move on to the next part of this, I just want to say up top, a lot of people... Of course, there's madness to the level of QAnon that would baffle the mind. | |
| In this instance, I did see some of it personally, so I feel obligated to report on it myself. | |
| And that is, I saw some people being like, Yeah man, but that SS tattoo looks pretty fresh, you know? | |
| Like, I don't know man, maybe it's like a Psy-Op that looks like a pretty new tattoo. | |
| And it's just like, alright guy. | |
| The swastika is obviously not a fresh tattoo. | |
| Like, it does not have the raised indication that it is new. | |
| Second of all, the guy who was posting this shit was also posting his recon photos of the mission he was going to carry out at this mall. | |
| Like a real brave soldier. | |
| Uh, and that meant that he got this new tattoo expecting it to be on his body when it was discovered after his op. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| Because like, if you're the sort of person who is doing this, you know the way that, like, eventually it ends up for you. | |
| So like, doing that, it's not for yourself. | |
| It's sending a message. | |
| You're like, hey man, when you find me after this, you're gonna know what I was about. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He also, literally, in his manifesto, cited Libs of TikTok, who she then had, she had in her Twitter bio, in her bio, stochastic terrorists. | |
| So she took that out, she took that out real quick, after a literal swastika-wearing Nazi committed a mass shooting, and cited... I'm sure there's no record of that on the Wayback Machine or any sort of... | |
| You know, just in case it ever comes up in some sort of court case down the line. | |
| I'm sure that there's no record of her having ever referred to herself as a terrorist on the internet. | |
| Yeah, and what Elle brought up is one of the things that QAnon and these people are talking about. | |
| There is so much to do about trying to distance and push the right away from being the cause of this mass shooting. | |
| When it first came out that the shooter was Hispanic, There were so many people like, oh, another illegal immigrant. | |
| Oh, we got him. | |
| You crazy, violent leftists. | |
| Oh, this is another proof that leftists are murderous psychopaths who were indoctrinated in hatred and bigotry against America. | |
| And then when, when people actually found the guy's social media platform, social media accounts and the tattoos and all the rest of it, and he had a very long history of Being aggressively a white supremacist and antagonizing teachers at his school that were Jewish or non-white and just... Did you see that wild meme that he apparently shared on his platform where it was just like, you know, somebody coming to a fork in the road? | |
| And it was just like, the caption was like, being Latino in America and the left fork went to a burning city and it said, act black. | |
| And then the fork went to the right to a pristine city and said, become a white supremacist. | |
| And on the bottom, he was just like, well, I guess I know who I'm going to side with or whatever. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| Yeah. | |
| It was like a crazy thing. | |
| I was just like, Oh my God. | |
| Like he, he is, he does feel disenfranchised because the color of his skin, but he sees his options. | |
| Like he really sees it. | |
| Like, like this is the way he's just like, Oh my God. | |
| Like, I can't have a Latino identity in America for whatever reason, so I either have to pretend to be African American or a white supremacist. | |
| It's like, what? | |
| No, just be Latino! | |
| It's fine! | |
| Yeah, oh my god. | |
| This, this shit is just, it's really dark. | |
| It's just the fact that this is the mindset these people have. | |
| What blows my mind about all of this is the idea that anywhere in America, there are people out there who think that Nazis are nonviolent, acceptable people, and that the deep state had to get this kid tatted up with these bad tattoos and then whisper the MKUltra sleeper code into him to have him commit a mass shooting. | |
| Because before this shooting, nobody thought to themselves, you know Nazis are violent, right? | |
| I mean, it took this shooting for people to go, holy shit! | |
| Oh my god, Nazis! | |
| Wow! | |
| They're bad dudes! | |
| We shouldn't like Nazis. | |
| Nazis are bad! | |
| Like, the idea that this was a PSYOP designed to make white supremacists look bad, Guess what, guys? | |
| You already did. | |
| You were already terrible. | |
| His quote-unquote fresh tattoos, it was not needed to ding white supremacy any further in the public's view. | |
| I mean, it is so bizarre that these folks were like, man, we were getting Nazis into the mainstream and it was going so well before this mass shooting made us look so bad. | |
| And obviously, It couldn't be a real Nazi that did this, so it had to be some deep state op to trick us into thinking a Nazi did it. | |
| Yeah, obviously, like the Knowledge Fight guys say, the concrete's still wet, so now everyone's trying to put their mark on this that it's up. | |
| You know, fake news. | |
| It's PSYOP. | |
| But we have his dumb manifesto and his incredibly dumb Nazi tattoos. | |
| It's all there's there's no getting around it, but they're sure going to try. | |
| And you know what I have? | |
| Some sort of fun giant truck with a crane pulled up into my driveway. | |
| Oh, so if you happen to hear crane noise or if my power abruptly goes out or something, I don't know why they're here. | |
| I'm a renter, so sometimes things like this happen because I do not own this property. | |
| And the person who does own this property will do... Like one time I came home from work and there were just solar panels on my house. | |
| It was great. | |
| I don't know what this is, but it's not necessarily bad. | |
| But I just wanted to give you and to the listener a heads up in case I abruptly vanish. | |
| But thankfully, I'm also here with a blissful segue away from the Nazi talk for a while to a Oh, wait, no. | |
| It's not really that, but it's not really better. | |
| It's still terrible. | |
| But at least we're not going to be talking about Nazis shooting up the U.S. | |
| We're going to talk about other people shooting each other in Russia and the Ukraine in this week's Russia Roundup. | |
| Mike, why are we talking about Russia again? | |
| I feel like that was over, right? | |
| Did the Ukraine heroically defend themselves and Russia gave up because they acknowledged that they were wrong the whole time and then they gave the Ukraine one trillion dollars and everybody smiled and shook hands? | |
| If only. | |
| If only this was the case. | |
| If only we managed to have the Ukraine and Russia reach detente on this issue, which they won't because Putin wants to destroy Ukraine. | |
| Everything is just him. | |
| It's Putin being a bad monster. | |
| But right now, What's going on in Russia is Bakhmut, which again I'm probably mispronouncing. | |
| It's been this meat grinder of a fight between the two sides and right now Ukraine is launching a counter-attack and they're starting to see progress. | |
| And the big thing in Russia is that you have the actual Russian military, and then you have this group called Wagner, which is basically a private military company. | |
| They're mercenaries. | |
| Wagner's the guy who's going through the prisons, doing the suicide squad shit, where it's like, if you come out and fight for Russia, we slice some ears off your sentence, and all that good stuff. | |
| And the guy that runs Wagner is right now furious at the Russian military for not providing them with the proper means to fight the battle here. | |
| And he posted a video online where he was standing in front of piles of dead Russian | |
| soldiers and he was screaming at the Russian government for insufficiently arming and maintaining | |
| Wagner's troops so they could carry out the mission. | |
| And this is, now this was all censored in Russia. | |
| What this guy said did not make it into Russia, but you can find it on the internet if you're | |
| looking for it. | |
| And it's really, really interesting because you usually don't make these kinds of statements without risking your life because you can't criticize the war effort. | |
| I'm going to probably butcher this guy's name, but Prigzogzin is the guy that's in charge of Wagner, and he was the one that posted the video where he was furious. | |
| And there's been news over the last few days that Ukraine's counteroffensive is being successful, it's pushing Russia back. | |
| A Russian hypersonic missile got shot down by a Patriot anti-air-to-air system, which is the first time I think a missile of that speed has ever been hit by an anti-missile defense system. | |
| So a lot of stuff is going on and the The general view is that once we get away from the mud season, because Ukraine and much of Russia and all that places, they have nice non-paved roads everywhere and you really can't move tanks around on the dirt roads until they firm up. | |
| So when the mud season does end, Ukraine may, their counterattack is coming and it will probably be not great for Russia. | |
| Given the fact that, like, they have frontline people right now literally screaming at the Russian government that, quote, you're fucking this up, and archers are getting killed as a result of it, you giant dum-dums, and no, I don't want to take a meeting on the fifth floor of that building, why do you ask? | |
| Yeah, then we had so yeah, Bakhmut being liberated, pushing Russia out, they shot down, they went 15 for 15 on shooting down cruise missiles, apparently. | |
| And then we had Russia's big Victory Day parade. | |
| And people comparing photos from last year's Victory Day Parade where they had many tanks, some might say a lot, and then this year's Victory Day Parade had some noticeable differences and they just had one tank, literally just one tank. | |
| Isn't it probably because they've just gotten them deployed? | |
| Like, aren't they doing stuff currently? | |
| It's not because, like, idiots, they don't have any tanks. | |
| It's like, idiots, your tanks are deployed, getting blown up by Ukrainians. | |
| Yeah, that's where everybody is just like, oh, you, you, it means Russia has had to deploy All of their armor and because of all the western armor that's coming into Ukraine like uh the American tanks I believe are have been deployed or they're training on them currently uh | |
| Polish tanks, British tanks. | |
| Pretty American. | |
| Every proud Russian tank in that victory parade has always stood in for one million tanks. | |
| Never you worry, we've still got plenty of tanks. | |
| This is such a savagely bad look for Russia. | |
| Well, I mean, this is how their quote-unquote special military option has been happening the whole time, right? | |
| In terms of, like, they'll spend, like, three or four weeks, like, finally gaining some ground and being like, yeah, we're Russia! | |
| And then, like, something will change and suddenly the Ukraine will undo that in two days. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And they'll just be like, hey, you guys reallocated your troops and then you just left this open so we just took it back. | |
| Like, it's ours now again. | |
| Sweet. | |
| Thanks, Russia. | |
| It's really going to be interesting to see what happens this year. | |
| And this is one of the big things about all of this beyond just the whole real world is the fact that QAnon is incredibly heavily invested in Russia winning this war. | |
| They are pro-Putin the whole way. | |
| They've created all sorts of cockamamie conspiracy theories about how Ukrainian biolabs created COVID and then transferred it to China to infect the world. | |
| This was also a launching point for the idea that China should invade Taiwan because Taiwan has biolabs near China. | |
| It's like Guys, let's go back in the Wayback Machine. | |
| Let's take a trip through history here. | |
| COVID started in China. | |
| That's where it started. | |
| We know this. | |
| There's no conspiracy theory. | |
| If you guys want to claim it came from a lab, you can do so. | |
| You're wrong. | |
| We know the wet market that it started at. | |
| But you don't need to The origins of COVID are not some sort of bizarre Tom Clancy spy novel. | |
| Dr. Fauci wasn't sitting in a lab going, make the bat virus do the thing. | |
| This is not what happened. | |
| That's just your opinion, man. | |
| Do your own research. | |
| Fair, fair. | |
| Maybe if you looked into it a little. | |
| So yeah, I mean, you know, it's not looking any better for Russia at the moment. | |
| It's like when the mercenaries you've hired to fight the special military operation on your behalf are openly rebelling against you on social media because you won't provide them with ammunition. | |
| Because you won't send them bullets. | |
| Seems like things are going pretty much not your way. | |
| I wonder how much of their, like, ground forces are fielded by these PMCs. | |
| And if, like, those PMCs just start to, like, walk or whatever because, like, they can't actually fight a war without ammunition. | |
| Like, does suddenly just, like, 20% of Russia's military personnel just, like, walk off the battlefield one day? | |
| That does not seem like it. | |
| Like, maybe that will coincide with the dry season that lets the tanks start getting through and Ukraine can finally put a definitive end to this madness. | |
| Well, and then, uh, was it Poland is renaming the city Kaliningrad and Russia's like, that is a, uh, that is an act of war or that's no, they said it's a hostile action to which Poland said, okay, what are you going to do about it? | |
| Uh, Yeah, come at us, bro. | |
| Poland leaves NATO a challenge. | |
| I've seen so many things online about how Poland's military is fucking ludicrous right now. | |
| And given how totally bogged down in Ukraine Russia is, if Poland was like, by the way, we've left NATO and we're declaring war on Russia immediately, they could probably just walk to Moscow and Russia would not be able to stop them. | |
| Yeah, I mean if it weren't for that unfortunate big tricky ocean, it would be great if like now it's just like... | |
| Yeah, the United States rams through NATO policy to just be like, hey, Russia's an active aggressor. | |
| They've been so for like a decade. | |
| We're getting it there. | |
| We're just putting it into this. | |
| And then boom, like overnight, it's just like, they're just trying to move Ukraine and America. | |
| Like, Russia's ours now! | |
| The shiny new Russia. | |
| Like the world is like an actual game of Risk or Axis and Allies. | |
| And it's just like, oh, well, the US has super bombers, so get rid of Russia. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| I mean, the whole idea of like, oh man, if we didn't use nukes, World War III would be this thrilling strike and counter-strike. | |
| No, the West would rule Russia in a month, if that. | |
| Russia's military is so weak compared to America's. | |
| It's hilarious. | |
| I just, It is the funniest thing in the world, listening to the right being like, Oh, America's dumb, woke military, not man enough. | |
| And it's like, our military is ridiculous. | |
| We spend so much money on that shit. | |
| It is. | |
| No one's in our league. | |
| No one's within 20 miles of us. | |
| It's hilarious. | |
| I can't tell if my microphone is good enough to... Hey, can you guys hear that the truck has upgraded from just being in my driveway to have produced men with saws. | |
| Men with chainsaws. | |
| I can't hear anything. | |
| Excellent. | |
| Well, that's good to know. | |
| And you know, we probably could have figured this out when we were done recording, but no, the listeners also get to hear this too. | |
| A little looky-loo behind the curtain. | |
| Yes. | |
| A little bit with chainsaws outside of my window, but the way the setup is, the mic's still holding strong. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, we can go to the mailbag. | |
| You can ask them if they have any thoughts on our questions. | |
| Yeah, shout out to the chainsaw men. | |
| It'll be even better if the Chainsaw Men aren't just going for trees, and Elle suddenly is like, the Chainsaw Men are now walking up my stairs with the chainsaws. | |
| Yeah, the chainsaws have upgraded from being outside to being inside of my house. | |
| They're just like, oh, the chainsaws have now upgraded to going through my door. | |
| Can you guys still hear this? | |
| What an incredible mic. | |
| And then suddenly it's just like two full minutes of what just sounds like a wet balloon being chopped up. | |
| Just the meat. | |
| It sounds like the meat counter at the supermarket. | |
| And then you just hear some guy go, damn, what a sweet bite. | |
| That's really good quality. | |
| We should take that. | |
| Dude, no, don't leave it. | |
| Don't take the evidence. | |
| Oh, right, right. | |
| Oh, is this a recording? | |
| Yeah, this sucks for you. | |
| Oh, shit. | |
| Suddenly, the podcast ends abruptly because me and Sarge have to deactivate because they can see our faces on the screen. | |
| They're like, oh, no, the witnesses. | |
| We're like, no, we're not witnesses. | |
| We saw nothing. | |
| We saw nothing. | |
| Don't worry, Chainsaw Man, we talk about QAnon, so we can only be so popular, you know? | |
| Yes. | |
| I mean, we'd be way more popular if we were pro-QAnon. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah! | |
| Do it well! | |
| Let's sell out, and let's go to the mailbag. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. So we have Leach from Buffalo who asks, with the majority of right-wingers choosing to deal with the most recent Texas shooting, how they're dealing with it? | |
| Why should we be scared of AI deepfake videos when most simply just use their imaginations, photos of the wrong person, instant bad information without needing better video tech to help? | |
| The problem with deepfakes is that you can trick more people with them. | |
| And also our media is so gutless and unwilling to actually confront misinformation that when you have like quality misinformation, it's going to make them even more spineless and useless. | |
| I mean, the thing is, it's gonna be very interesting to see what happens when the first aggressive deepfake misinformation comes out, and how we as a society deal with it, because that's gonna be a landmark moment. | |
| Also, one of the most important parts about the way that deepfaking technology works is that it's weirdly this sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, in that The people that have the highest amount of reach that you would most want to deepfake, say the president, right? | |
| Joe Biden or whoever's in the presidency at the time. | |
| Like, making that person say something wrong and tricking people with it carries a lot of weight. | |
| But because they're so visible, they have the most footage available to train a deepfaking engine to get the best looking deepfake out of it. | |
| Because the more stuff you can train it on, the better. | |
| The more angles and stuff. | |
| So it's just sort of like, like, that's one of the reasons the technology is scary is because it's just like the juicier the target is, the more powerful the weapon is against it in a way, which is really bizarre. | |
| And also, you know, just just just because you can hoodwink some people by claiming that water is snake oil doesn't mean it's not better if like you have a vial of some sort of actual oil, you know, like like that will be a more effective grift. | |
| Also, it gives them room to retreat to when they see something they don't like about someone they do like. | |
| Saying, oh, well, that's a deepfake. | |
| I've seen deepfakes of these other people. | |
| Um, it just makes, like, deprogramming anyone that much harder. | |
| Also, it's going to be another tool for misogynists to use to keep women out of the public eye by just being able to be like, Hey, guess what? | |
| Congratulations on becoming famous enough for me to fake porn about you and put it on the internet like a creep. | |
| Who's going to opt in for that shit? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh my God. | |
| There, like, that was, so when the first kind of wave of deep fake, uh, like hype happened, QAnon's immediate reaction was to be all, deepfakes are bullshit. | |
| There's no such thing as a deepfake. | |
| What they're trying to get us ready for is when the Hillary face carving video comes out, they're going to cry deepfake, but it's going to be real. | |
| Deepfakes are bullshit. | |
| They're not a thing that can happen. | |
| And like a month or two after this happened, Ruth Bader Ginsburg reappeared from whatever bout of illness she had suffered at that time. | |
| She lived for another year and a half after this. | |
| And once they had all these posts of Ruth Bader Ginsburg out in public doing stuff, attending the Supreme Court, when they would see photos of Ruth out in public, they would scream, deepfake. | |
| Even though they had literally spent the past two months talking about how deepfakes were not real, it did not exist, they pivoted immediately to the deepfake. | |
| As a way to continue their Ginsburg is secretly dead narrative. | |
| They have no problem with cognitive dissonance. | |
| They have no actual integrity and firmness in any stance on their beliefs. | |
| Because if they need deepfakes to not be real because the terrifying horrible videos are about to come out, then deepfakes don't exist. | |
| If they need Ruth Bader Ginsburg to be dead and she's out in public being alive, deepfake. | |
| There was a QAnon believer who went to a funeral in Israel that Ginsburg attended, and she took photos of Ginsburg. | |
| And she's like, guys, I was in the room, she's alive. | |
| QAnon disowned that woman. | |
| They were like, nope, you're part of the deep state now. | |
| And she's like, no, I'm not! | |
| I believe in you! | |
| Hashtag for we go one, we go all! | |
| Blah blah blah! | |
| And they were like, I don't know why you're doing this. | |
| I don't know why you're trying to like, insert yourself into this movement because you're obviously a deep state trader. | |
| And it was it was it was really just like, for that lady, I'm sure it was heartbreaking that she like just tried to give these people real information of an event that she attended in person. | |
| And they were just like shaking their heads like nope, nope. | |
| Screw you, lady. | |
| It ain't real. | |
| Fucking deepfake. | |
| You're lying to us. | |
| That's the... You just can't penetrate that level of belief. | |
| They're not going to do it. | |
| They're not going to give in. | |
| Oh yeah, they've got that shroud and it protects them from a lot of things. | |
| Oh, absolutely. | |
| What a sweet bubble. | |
| The sweetest, hardest bubble of them all. | |
| Ken Statnik asks, Freddy Potatoes wants to know what do you think the chances are that Tucker decides to run for office after having been fired? | |
| And Freddy Potatoes also wants to know who wears the bow tie better? | |
| And Freddy is wearing an adorable blue and white polka dot bow tie. | |
| So Freddy obviously wears a bow tie better than Tucker. | |
| Yeah, that's not even a question. | |
| Tucker wore it better. | |
| And in addition to that, that'd be great. | |
| Do I think Tucker's ever going to run, actually take a shot at office? | |
| Probably not. | |
| I've already talked about this. | |
| I think if he has half a brain, he's seen that if you run for office, people dig in your shit way deeper and your money. | |
| Most importantly, your money. | |
| Way deeper than they ever would if you don't run for office. | |
| It gives you a bigger platform, but it sort of gives you less reach in a sense, because you can only do so much, right? | |
| I'm reminded of that sweet Lex Luthor line from Justice League, where he's just like, do you know how much power I'd have to give up to become president? | |
| So I mean I feel like sort of like Tucker knows it like you know the people that are like his base is all in on him and he doesn't need to be the president to change that so I feel like he's just content to continue to just rake in a bunch of cash and have a bunch of like behind-the-scenes political clout. | |
| I think he'd rather be like a he'd rather be like a like a like a Like a player behind the scenes that can make or break somebody. | |
| He's already a bit of a kingmaker because it's coming out now that he helped negotiate the deal for Speaker. | |
| Yeah, he has everything to lose. | |
| I'd rather be that way too. | |
| Shit. | |
| I feel like people are going to look at it less weird if like, you know, if I'm just like a, like a consultant that you're talking to, or just like a, like a quote unquote friend, and I give you some advice or whatever, like, you know, help you help, like, you know, pull some strings. | |
| And then you give me a speedboat. | |
| Like, in order to be immune to that sort of scrutiny, you either need to be nobody or you need to be a Supreme Court justice. | |
| Yeah, he has, he has everything to lose by running for office. | |
| So no, I don't think he ever will. | |
| The real question is just, what is his level of crippling narcissism? | |
| Because that's what made Trump run for president. | |
| The thing is, we have all these conspiracy theories about what was the straw that broke the camel's back for Donald Trump. | |
| Was it Obama roasting him at the White House Correspondents' Dinner? | |
| Was it the fact that Gwen Stefani got a bigger contract for The Voice than he did for The Apprentice? | |
| But there's all these stories that There was a moment in Trump's life where he got hit with a blow and his reaction was Fuck these assholes. | |
| I'm gonna run for president and show them what's what and one thing leads to another and now Trump is in big boy trouble with the law and That's the thing with Tucker is is Tucker that narcissistic is he that thin-skinned that I? | |
| He wants to actually punish his enemies by becoming president. | |
| The other thing about it is I feel like Trump's kind of greased the skids where you don't even go for lower office at this point. | |
| If you're a big boy like Tucker, it's presidency or nothing. | |
| Tucker isn't going to move to fucking Wyoming or Oklahoma or something and just become the governor of some state or some senator. | |
| If you're Tucker, Trump's already made it clear. | |
| If you get any juice at all, you go big or you go home. | |
| So, I just don't know if it's in him to have that level of just pettiness and mean-spiritedness where he's like, screw it, I'm gonna show you all I can be president. | |
| I don't know that Tucker has that. | |
| No, he he just has way too much to lose. | |
| If he because if he runs and doesn't get it, it looks terrible. | |
| And then if he gets it, he is like the Joker like, Oh, I don't think he would really know what to do with the office. | |
| Oh, that's all Republicans are, is the dog that caught the car. | |
| Trump had no idea what he was doing when he was being president. | |
| Republicans had no idea what they were doing when they got abortion outlawed. | |
| Like, they're just sitting here being like, oh fuck, I've achieved what I wanted and now it's terrible. | |
| Oh, dogs. | |
| I mean, it's just, ugh, they're the absolute worst. | |
| Yeah, they're just like, oh my god, we got our incredibly unpopular policy through. | |
| What? | |
| Devastating blow to us. | |
| Who would have guessed? | |
| Aw, shocker! | |
| The terrible things we want are unpopular, and when you give people the ability to vote against them, they do! | |
| I don't believe it! | |
| But hey, I mean, honestly, like, don't get me wrong, it sucks, and the Roe v. Wade thing is, like, still horrible, but, you know, if we can get enough cracks to start to form in the way that everyone perceives the Supreme Court, maybe we can fix it, because it's fucked up beyond belief. | |
| It's impossibly fucked up that you can get a lifetime appointment to that thing. | |
| That's crazy. | |
| Lifetime appointment to anything is bananas. | |
| Are you out of your mind? | |
| That's like king or emperor shit. | |
| Get the fuck out of here. | |
| Lifetime appointment. | |
| That's so dumb. | |
| A touch short-sighted back in the day when they were just like, no one lives that old. | |
| What does it matter? | |
| We appoint someone at the age of 40, they'll die of dysentery by 55. | |
| Who cares? | |
| I mean, It feels like, to me, Clarence Thomas got appointed to the Supreme Court after he finished his night shift at McDonald's. | |
| The guy's been on the Supreme Court for, like, 70 years at this point. | |
| It's horrifying. | |
| I mean, it's like, Jesus Christ. | |
| Which is great, because I'm assuming that as people continue to dig and dig, hopefully we'll just find, like, the longest, most unassailable list of corruption everywhere. | |
| Yeah, you know what? | |
| You're right. | |
| We can't touch the guy because he's got his appointment, but what we can do is use this as a platform to start yelling and screaming about how we need to fucking fix the Supreme Court and how maybe the next time the old Democrats get the trifecta or whatever, we can start making some big moves. | |
| Yes. | |
| Let's see what we can do about making some change in that regard. | |
| Let's start talking to some state representatives and stuff and be like, hey, you know what's fucked up? | |
| A lot of stuff. | |
| Unfortunately, we'll never be able to get anything done because technically, as we've said on the podcast, a bunch of land that should be one useless state has broken into several useless states with an outsized amount of power, which is unfortunate for us. | |
| Hashtag one Nebraska. | |
| There is only one Nebraska. | |
| Yeah, but it's going to be all of the Dakotas, Wyoming, all the rest of them. | |
| Oh yeah, we're lumping like six states in there. | |
| Originally it was one Dakota, but that's not big, that's not enough. | |
| We have to go to one Nebraska, where we just eat the Dakotas, Wyoming, Montana, all of them. | |
| We just turned six states into one, because fuck them. | |
| So yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's what we think of you, Flyover Country. | |
| The Avengers in Hellworld attack on American states continues apace, and it will not relent. | |
| The next census, they should just have a list, they should have a test, where it's just like, name all 50 states, and then the census, like, Taker, just make sure that you don't, like, Google it or whatever. | |
| And then, when they get all of those, they, like, the opposite of ranked choice voting, like, they just, like, aggregate the bottom 10, and figure out what, like, what states gotta go. | |
| Yes! | |
| It's like, what are the 10 states that people, like, care least about? | |
| Let's turn them all into one state. | |
| Massively in favor of this plan. | |
| Hashtag abolish the Senate, so yes. | |
| Finally, Pancake Peasant asks, poker politics like love sports. | |
| Is there a sport that you have zero interest in watching or hearing about? | |
| Oh, you don't listen enough. | |
| And it's baseball. | |
| Oh, I will watch. | |
| I mean, if it has stakes, I'll watch playoff baseball. | |
| Regular season baseball, you couldn't pay me to watch. | |
| Because there's a million games. | |
| They have no impact on the outcome of the season. | |
| It's a waste of everyone's time. | |
| So, no. | |
| But in general, competition, I'll watch anything. | |
| Like, darts. | |
| Darts are great. | |
| Curling. | |
| Love curling. | |
| E-fight, E-games, Street Fighter, Marvel. | |
| What was I going to say? | |
| League of Legends or Dota. | |
| I'll watch all that stuff. | |
| If people are fighting each other and I can hear commentators screaming about it and explaining stuff to me, I'm in. | |
| I'm just in. | |
| That stuff is catnip for me. | |
| I really haven't found a sport or a competition where I'm like, nope, I'm out. | |
| Boring. | |
| Not doing it. | |
| Except, again, baseball win. | |
| It's just, oh, this is game 70 of 162. | |
| Nope. | |
| Yeah, I mean baseball does suck. | |
| It is known. | |
| There are a bunch of sports you wouldn't expect me to like at all that I would much rather watch than baseball. | |
| I think my second or third favorite sport to watch, period, is probably tennis. | |
| Not a lot of people would peg me as a tennis guy because I never talk about it and I don't really know shit about it, but every once in a while I'll just watch people play tennis. | |
| It's very easy for me to understand the game and appreciate the athleticism involved, especially because there's a defensive element that, again, for the most part, is just completely lacking in baseball. | |
| Yeah, let's see if we can really have one guy throw a ball and one guy hit a ball. | |
| That's that. | |
| Under the optimal circumstances, one guy throws a ball, nothing else happens for the defense. | |
| And under the optimal offensive circumstance, that same guy throws a ball, that one guy hits it, and then nobody else does anything. | |
| Perfect game. | |
| Yeah, that's my favorite thing about the poor creation, the poor design of baseball. | |
| This is the most exciting thing. | |
| Literally lasts like three seconds and you have to watch a guy slowly jog around a diamond. | |
| And then it's like, oh man, he did that thing and now he's jogging. | |
| Way to go jogging guy. | |
| Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. | |
| I understand the complaints. | |
| Like my personal favorite of the American sports is the NFL. | |
| And I understand why people are annoyed by the amount of stoppage of play. | |
| That goes down in, like, an American football game because, you know, it's essentially like a turn-based video game, but with real people. | |
| Like, you set up a thing, and then it executes, like, that one step, and then everybody goes back and resets. | |
| But, during every play, every person is moving and doing something. | |
| Like, in baseball, a lot of the time, most of those athletes are standing, doing nothing. | |
| That is what, under optimal circumstances again, both on offense and defense, all those players are expected to have to do nothing. | |
| Like, no matter how optimal the play is in the NFL, every player has to move. | |
| Like, you're running a play where nobody's goal is like literally just stand still. | |
| Even the men at the line have to use every fiber of their being against the large men opposite them to maintain parity. | |
| Yes, it's like you're in a situation where on every play, if you're the quarterback, anywhere from three to seven men who are in peak physical condition are basically trying to legally murder you. | |
| That is basically the situation you're engaged in, where you have to ignore all those men coming to violently hurt you so you can throw a ball to a guy and you have to hope that works out well for you. | |
| Because if it doesn't, you get mushed. | |
| And the people catching the ball can get mushed. | |
| I mean, there's a lot of physicality to it. | |
| It's intense. | |
| Anyway, baseball sucks. | |
| Expect more sports fans. | |
| You deserve it. | |
| And if you really love the game, you don't even have to stop watching it. | |
| Just continue to demand changes to make it faster and better. | |
| Like, how many innings do we really need? | |
| What are we saying in nine that we couldn't say in five, you know? | |
| I could see shortening it to six. | |
| Next question. | |
| I've heard you guys talk bag on baseball for years. | |
| This is so boring. | |
| Actually, my improvement for baseball is three innings, seven outs an inning. | |
| So you get 21 outs in the game. | |
| You shave a few off. | |
| Why is it only three outs an inning? | |
| It kills the chance for the offense to rally. | |
| You get seven outs, you have time to do shit. | |
| You have room to move and operate. | |
| My exciting baseball. | |
| Let's get on it. | |
| Anyways, that was the mailbag. | |
| So that leads us to the final question as always. | |
| What are you guys looking forward to? | |
| Baseball. | |
| I'm going to see Guardians of the Galaxy tonight. | |
| which is great because that means I can stop avoiding the spoilers that are like floating around online you know because people are reviewing it and I'm pretty plugged into the the pop culture zeitgeist section of the internet so uh going to go see some Guardians of the Galaxy I hear it's pretty good I hope it's pretty good uh I mean yeah I hope fucking for Marvel's sake it's good uh although I hope it doesn't I want the movie to be good, but I really hope it's not clear that only James Gunn was capable of cranking out another good Marvel movie. | |
| They've just laid some huge stakers back-to-back. | |
| Even me, the die-hard Marvel cinematic universe guy, is kind of off of it at this point. | |
| I'm just like, I don't know, man. | |
| Keg was a huge wet fart. | |
| Now you have to recast him anyway. | |
| It's like, what the fuck is going on? | |
| Who cares? | |
| Why is it Dr. Doom here yet? | |
| Like, what are you guys waiting for? | |
| We know there's a Fantastic Four movie at the works. | |
| Just like, have Dr. Doom be the next big thing. | |
| And then the Fantastic Four show up and fight him. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh yeah, and now nothing's happening thanks to the fuckin' writer's strike. | |
| Ooh! | |
| They've upgraded from Chainsaw to Mulch. | |
| Can you hear it now? | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah, I can. | |
| Excellent, yeah. | |
| They were like, hey, we're going to do everything in our power to get noisy enough to be heard on the recording. | |
| Okay, I'm going to mute my mic while Asar answers his question. | |
| Yep. | |
| So, uh, yeah, I saw an ad. | |
| The Royals genuinely suck. | |
| So they have a package where you can get four tickets, uh, hot dogs, beer, uh, the whole sheboingle for 60 bucks. | |
| And that's my favorite part of baseball season when the Royals suck so much that they just give tickets away. | |
| Uh, because going to the stadium is an experience, uh, that I routinely enjoy. | |
| It was so funny because you had that like two years where the Royals were relevant and then right off a cliff. | |
| They threw that all out. | |
| They cannot manage a team. | |
| You guys won the World Series? | |
| Get fucked. | |
| You're off the team. | |
| Went to the World Series back-to-back. | |
| Back-to-back. | |
| Yeah, they should have had the decency to throw it all away in the first round of the playoffs like the Bruins. | |
| Boom. | |
| Roasted. | |
| Take that, Mike. | |
| Taste it. | |
| Taste it. | |
| Hey, the Celtics are about to lose in Round 2. | |
| It's fucking great. | |
| Boston Sports going right off a cliff. | |
| It's fucking incredible. | |
| We're back to the Royals where I'll just be happy if they finish above 500. | |
| Oh, they're not. | |
| Oh, they ain't. | |
| You don't have to fucking worry about that. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| No, that's my bar. | |
| That's what I'm hoping for. | |
| Playoffs? | |
| No. | |
| Fuck that. | |
| Don't worry, boys. | |
| We've got 220 games to figure it out or whatever, you know? | |
| I just really hope that my team manages to win like 113 games and go just above 500. | |
| Probably the funniest joke in basketball where they're talking about how long the fucking season is. | |
| So, I am looking forward to probably the end of Boston sports for the foreseeable future as the Celtics- Burn it to the ground. | |
| As the Celtics, literally, the Celtics could have won the first four games of the series against the 76ers, and they managed to go 2-2, and then in Game 5 they called out sick. | |
| Just didn't show up, got run out the building, they're now down 3-2, Game 6 is in Philadelphia tomorrow, and yeah. | |
| Not great. | |
| Literally went into this postseason thinking the Bruins were going to win the Stanley Cup. | |
| Celtics had a good shot to win the NBA title. | |
| Both teams out, lickety-split. | |
| All that Boston hubris we had from 0-1 until now, now just thrown out the window. | |
| Totally undeserved. | |
| We suck. | |
| Well, at least the Patriots had an incredible and dynamic draft, you know? | |
| They drafted a lot of really powerful, skilled positions that everyone's really excited about. | |
| Well, I mean, everyone was happy about the first pick, but they took a lot of offensive linemen and they did not take a lot of offensive skills, so yeah. | |
| We'll see. | |
| The Patriots dream of winning every game 17-14. | |
| 17-14 doesn't seem like a very good idea in today's offense only, because we want people playing fantasy football and being happy mentality in the NFL. | |
| Hey Patriots, for 20 years you were Skaven and you were crushing it. | |
| Don't go Dwarf on us now. | |
| Nerds. | |
| Fucking they are they are exactly what they're doing Ah, yes the nerdiest of nerds also for the record like the | |
| new best team in the league is also scaven Like yeah, just like I don't understand. I don't understand | |
| why teams would be looking at what the chiefs are doing That would just be like hey, you know what we should do | |
| We should make a really crazy defensive team to battle this. | |
| It's like, no! | |
| The rules keep changing to make defense worse and worse. | |
| It's offense. | |
| Be good at offense. | |
| Nobody cares about defense. | |
| Like, you do have to have some of it, obviously, but like, no one's going to be excited about or really rally around a bunch of defensive draft picks when the best team in the league is always, like, the team that has the best quarterback, you know? | |
| Yeah, it's offense all day. | |
| I mean, we did watch the Super Bowl this year where the only difference was that the Eagles had their quarterback bounce the ball of his own leg and a chief ran it back for a touchdown. | |
| So the only difference between the two teams was the defense also scored. | |
| Because when both offenses had the ball, they just scored all the time. | |
| It was just touchdown to Pelouza. | |
| Yeah, and I hear that it was probably, I hear that it was a very fun Super Bowl to be watching. | |
| I did not watch it myself, but people seem pretty excited about it, because who doesn't like scoring, you know? | |
| Yes. | |
| I don't really want to watch a 10-7 football game if I don't have to. | |
| I don't have a lot of time to invest for 10-7. | |
| Yeah, that was the Patriots' last Super Bowl they'll probably ever be involved in in the next 20 years, and that one was a slog to get through, but we won, so fuck everyone. | |
| So, El, do you want to handle the outro, or do you want me to do this with the whole chainsaw thing? | |
| I think they're done mulching, so I'll do it quickly. | |
| So, on that note, it's time for us to fuck quickly away from Hellworld for a week. | |
| Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. | |
| You can continue to support the show for free by giving us a five-star review, or suggesting it to a friend, or doing any of the stuff that will get more listeners to us, or tickle the ol' algo. | |
| If you have money and you want to donate it to the cause, we'll be happy to accept it at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where if you donate $5 or more a month, you get access to any of our bonus content that we have produced in the past and may produce again in the future. | |
| We have about 50 or 60 hours of it now. | |
| Mike Rins is pretty good about posting a bunch of like independent stuff to really flush it out and make it sound more impressive than it is for Sarge and I. | |
| Oh no, they're back to mulching! | |
| Quick! | |
| If you have money, do good with it by donating it to love146.org. | |
| They're an organization that's vigilant in child trafficking and exploitation. | |
| Thank you as always to DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our intro song. | |
| You can find Frosty, our voiceover guy, on Twitter at FrostyBO. | |
| The show is on Twitter at Hellworld with a Q instead of an O. I'm HellworldL, spelled the same way. | |
| Sarge is at Sargent Hell, and Mike is of course at Poker Politics. | |
| So for another successful, if noisy, episode of the Adventures in Hell World podcast, I've been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by the enigmatic Sarge, and of course our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains. | |
| Good speed, Patriots, gotta go fast! | |
| Time. | |
| Time. | |
| Yeah. |