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April 6, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:31:31

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #134: Trump Indicted!

Trump got indicted. Good election news for Democrats and MTG is still a jerk. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	Thanks for watching.
	Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics.
	Welcome to what is sure to be a very exciting episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	It's so special.
	We even brought Sarge back.
	He's here!
	Here's Sarge!
	I've been here the last couple of weeks!
	I never left!
	Maybe.
	I don't remember that.
	And I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle.
	Hello, my beautiful babies.
	He's back.
	He's back from the grave.
	Negative 48 was right.
	It's JFK!
	What are you talking about?
	I am Nicole Kidman and I never went anywhere.
	I'm just here to tell you how great AMC movie theaters are.
	Did you see the stills from the new Clone High?
	Uh, yeah.
	I mean, you know, whatever.
	We'll see.
	That one was, like, it was good, but of all the stuff that's getting a wacky, like, 15 years too late reboot or whatever, like, I'm more skeptical of it than most.
	I just, uh, I already like the context of them, uh, standing next to a restaurant called the Grassy Knoll where they took JFK for dinner.
	Yeah, I mean, that that sort of that was always sort of that that shows Wheelhouse or whatever.
	So that's sort of like little visual gags are pretty easy.
	But we'll see what the actual writing is like.
	Yes.
	Anyway, but but no, I was making fun of one of my favorite things on Earth.
	The intro role to when you're good, when you go to see AMC movies for the past year, there's like this.
	And they have to edit it down to various lengths.
	And sometimes we'll go to the fancy screen.
	We'll get the fucking two minute long full version.
	Nicole Kidman is really laying it on thick telling you, yo, how great are movie theaters?
	So me and Foxy went and saw Dungeons & Dragons at a not AMC.
	And they had the pre-movie role where it was the primary cast telling us how big of a heroes we are for going to the movie theater.
	And I was like, this is awful!
	This is the most cringy thing here, and I'm at a D&D movie!
	Yeah, like what sort of focus testing did they do where they thought that audience were just like, yeah, we're receptive to this.
	Everyone I've ever known has hated those moments where they're pandering to you, the audience, to try to solicit your future theater business.
	It's just, what the fuck? I'm already here. I was like, we have a contract. I show up for this movie,
	Yeah.
	and then you are allowed to advertise for your business to me in the form of
	previews for future movies. That is it. And in some places, concessions.
	I mean, you can advertise the concessions too, but like we already have an established format for you
	to advertise the services you provide.
	You don't get to interject new commercials to just be like, you know what's great?
	Just the concept of movies, am I right guys?
	Shut the fuck up!
	I'm already here!
	Literally in this thing, though, like, where you get popcorn that somehow tastes better than popcorn at home.
	I'm like, that's not a mystery.
	They drown it in butter.
	Like, yeah, when I'm making it at home, it's microwaved and it doesn't have a tint of the butter.
	Yes.
	Also, the best possible spice is me not having to make something.
	That is how it comes out spiced the way I like it.
	I order it and then it arrives.
	I'm just like, oh, so tasty and flavorful.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we have a whole new business called DoorDash.
	Where's the Japanese word for that flavor?
	You know what I mean?
	Remember how there used to be like the five core flavors and then science decided to step in and just be like, no, no, no, nerds.
	There are actually a bunch of them.
	Well, I propose the next one.
	It is a purely psychological flavor where your experience is enhanced simply by virtue of the fact that you did not have to make this shit.
	That is how Blue Apron keeps tricking people.
	They're like giving you half of that experience.
	And insisting that it's cheaper than buying regular groceries.
	And it's just like, no, it's not.
	You're absolutely fucking wrong about that.
	I just love the idea of going to a concert and then the band gets on stage and before they start playing, there's like, thank you so much for coming to our concert.
	Concerts are so important.
	And you coming out here and doing this is very special to us.
	Thank you.
	Please, for the love of God, keep attending concerts.
	Don't mention that, but it's Nicole Kidman.
	Yes.
	And every time you watch it, it seems like somehow there's someone at some sort of sinister soundboard, making her sound more or less Bostonian, depending on which version of it you're watching.
	Every once in a while, I'll go with my friends, and we'll be listening to it, and we'll start cracking up and just looking back and forth at each other, because every once in a while, it'll be super mellow, but you'll get the one cut where she's just like, Kablamo!
	Here they are!
	I will defend bands.
	I've been to a lot of shows where the bands have thanked me for coming to the show.
	That's not that weird.
	If another band came up and was not playing that night, it was like, I just want to thank you for coming to the venue.
	Aren't venues great?
	But that's what I was saying, the concept of the concert.
	The concept of concerts is incredible.
	Thank you for listening to music, like, generally, folks.
	Am I right?
	Isn't music grand?
	Isn't this genre of entertainment good?
	Shouldn't you enjoy this genre more?
	Oh, God.
	No, even if it's not us, guys, we're just happy that you're out here listening to music.
	So please stop just downloading it.
	Please come see us so we can sell you a t-shirt.
	Yes!
	Put it in!
	Buy a t-shirt!
	Woo!
	Okay, I guess we should probably actually get on with the show, which of course means starting with our wonderful Amuse Bouche.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
	Marjorie Taylor Greene.
	Greene.
	Marjorie!
	Marjorie Taylor Greene!
	I heard you had one heck of an interview, I say!
	I tell you what!
	No, Marjorie Taylor Greene decided to give herself one hell of a stupid dumbfuck interview, because of course any interview featuring her would be both stupid and dumbfuck, although this one was even scintillating in its madness.
	So I will go on over to Mr. Mike Rains to explain to us what's going on with MTG and the news cycle this week that doesn't involve her Trump-related bullshit.
	We'll get to that later.
	Yeah, so for some godforsaken reason 60 Minutes decided to air Marjorie Taylor Greene and give us this whole thing about how she's like a conservative firebrand who's like speaks her mind and people like have to take her seriously it's like no we don't she's a crank she's an idiot and The best part about this interview was just the fact that Lesley Stahl just let Marjorie Taylor Greene say all kinds of shit.
	Oh, didn't push back at all.
	No, like her pushback was to eye roll or say, oh no, you can't say that.
	And Marjorie Taylor Greene was like, I just did.
	What are you going to do about it?
	What are you going to do about it, Lesley?
	Nothing.
	That's what you're going to do.
	You're going to do nothing.
	Um, MTG declared that the Democratic Party is quote unquote, the party of pedophiles.
	And this is because Democrats are okay with children that have like, and we're talking about different ages and all this kind of stuff, but they're okay with children expressing that they might be trans and that they have these feelings about their gender identity and that the Democratic Party doesn't go, Oh no, no, you're just a dumb kid.
	You don't know what you're talking about.
	We're like, okay, let's let's talk about this.
	Let's see what's going on in your journey to figuring out who you are.
	And The frothing, raging, transphobic nature of the Republican Party.
	Man, it is their boogeyman right now.
	Like, there's a blink and you'll miss it.
	Like, protect trans kids in the new Spider-Man preview.
	And already I've seen three different pieces on how Spider-Man is promoting genital mutilation.
	Like, Marjorie Taylor Greene and the right are just The culture war is about trans people, and they have to bring it up every chance they get.
	Yeah, they got nothing else in this world.
	It's just literally, we lost on gay marriage.
	People have found out that gay people aren't scary and monstrous.
	Gay people are real.
	So now we have to try to go to the next out group.
	We have to attack the next group.
	And this is the thing, is that The LGBTQ plus community knows that if these people quote-unquote win on demonizing trans people, it never stops there.
	They will go right back to going after gay people and they will just keep doing this.
	They will just keep moving the out group to wherever they can get it to.
	Whoever they can effectively demonize and have it be societally acceptable, they will do it.
	And right now they think that like this screeching and yelling about trans people is a winner, which there's no evidence for that electorally.
	I mean, it feels like the more anti-trans and sick about this stuff you get, the less popular you actually are.
	Cause it's just weird.
	It's just weird to hate people.
	I mean, there might be people who are like, ah, these trans people are weird.
	I don't like them, but.
	They want to just put their head down and get through life and they want to like just they want to be mad at the Democrats and their dumb wokeness but when you're on TV 24-7 screaming about genital mutilation and these children and just like Bro!
	Dial it down!
	Relax!
	I don't need to hear this all the time!
	You're making this weird!
	All right, Mike.
	Virtue properly signaled.
	We get it.
	You love trans people.
	Which is a great sentiment, and obviously we all support trans folks here on the show, as we've talked about before.
	But I do have to get the train back on the tracks so we can get back to talking about specifically the stupid shit Marjorie Taylor Greene was saying on the airwaves.
	And not broadly her hate.
	She also got booed out of New York.
	Are we going to do all the New York stuff with the Trump stuff?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Are we doing New York stuff with Trump stuff or Marjorie Taylor Greene stuff with Marjorie Taylor Greene stuff?
	Well, I figured that we would get to the whistle incident when we were talking about all the Trump-related nonsense.
	She's carved out her own little segment of madness for herself in this interview.
	And I will say that there are many different camps for how to feel about this interview.
	And I'm not sure that all the members of us Hellworldians agree on which side we're on.
	Because, like, I feel like there's a side where it's just, like, devil's advocate, and you're just like, hey, she's an elected official, and you have to give her a platform to speak her mind or whatever.
	That's just what journalism is.
	And then there's the camp where it's just like, okay, it was stupid to put her on there, but, like, it's probably for the best that you didn't grill her too much to let her say even more stupid shit.
	And then there's the camp of people who are just like, it was stupid to put her on there, and it was irresponsible for you to not fact check her live on air and, like, really go after her.
	I am in the middle camp because as I've said many times before I think and like anybody who still thinks that you could come at Marjorie Taylor Greene on the air and like smash her opinions right to her face and it would matter to her or her base at all.
	I just want to give you a little pinch on your cheek.
	I just want to give you a little pinch on your naive little little cherubic cheek.
	Oh that's so cute that you think that she could possibly be damaged by being assaulted with facts.
	If that worked they'd be dead already.
	Metaphorically.
	Yeah.
	Politically, as Alex Jones would yell after screaming about murdering people.
	Hence where I land, because there's no value in giving her that interview.
	Oh yeah, yes.
	The second and third camps both start with, why did you do this?
	And then follow up with, but if you were going to, then you get to the forked path, you know?
	The thing to me is that you just have this person who is capped out at representative.
	She can't win a statewide election in Georgia.
	Her psychotic goal for power is to be Trump's vice presidential nominee.
	That's the only way she can think of ferreting herself to higher office because she's never going to be the governor or senator of Georgia.
	She's never going to make that leap.
	I'm going to stop you right here because I have to ask you a really pressing question.
	I'm so sorry.
	I normally don't like to do this.
	I usually wait, but I have to ask.
	Have you ever seen any Q Photoshop?
	So Joker and MTG is Joker and Harley Quinn.
	I have not.
	That would be... Oh, thank God.
	Oh, thank God!
	I saw, okay, on Saturday Night Live Weekly Update, they photoshopped Joker makeup on MTG, so... That's close, but it's not the same thing.
	Yeah.
	Like, I'm glad that even Q hasn't escalated the madness to starting to, like, ship them as their sort of, like...
	Their madness avatars slash weird romantic stand heads for, like, bad decision making.
	Anyway, sorry, continue.
	She used Q as a springboard to get elected, then is moved just far enough away to be on committees and taken seriously.
	She's back on committees, right?
	Yeah, the Republicans have the House.
	Yeah, McCarthy put her back on committees as part of the way to get her vote for the speakership, which is all he wanted, so yeah.
	And now she's, like Mike's saying, she's stuck where she is unless Trump can, you know, fight through 34.
	through 34. Now I'm going to give you the old Trump 34.
	Yes, great.
	Wonderbar.
	We're getting there soon, Sarge.
	We're getting there soon.
	It's gonna happen.
	He's like a mad dog this, Sarge.
	Trump, roll 34.
	Just check it out.
	He just can't get... He's been waiting.
	He's been waiting so long for the payoff.
	Now that we got him back in the ring again for a rare repeat second appearance.
	Back in the ring?
	I was here last week!
	I've been waiting for forever!
	Okay, so moving swiftly along, because again, we'll have more opportunities to talk about Marjorie Taylor Greene later, of course, because why wouldn't we?
	But Mike insisted that we talk about this, some sort of special election that I, of course, don't know anything about.
	So I turn it over to Mike to explain why we're talking about it.
	OK, so Wisconsin is one of the most corrupt, gerrymandered, absolutely ridiculous states in America, where I think in the last couple of elections, the Democrats won roughly 60 percent of the votes statewide, yet Republicans held like 60 percent of the state elected seats because they had just managed to draw the lines in such unbelievably ridiculous ways that
	they made it so that they weren't even a functioning democracy and Republicans
	didn't even have to listen to their constituents because they had effectively
	exiled them out of all the districts they needed to control.
	So there was finally a special election in Wisconsin and the special election
	was going to replace a conservative judge.
	And if the liberal judge got elected, this would give Wisconsin Supreme Court a liberal majority.
	And then liberals can file lawsuits against gerrymandering and for abortion rights and all kinds of other fun shit.
	And then the liberals will approve this because we're no longer just reading the law.
	We're actually just legislating via the judiciary and The Democrat judge won in a landslide last night.
	55 to 45.
	And this was a state that Biden won by like .0002% in the 2020 election.
	But the people of Wisconsin are so fucking fed up with this shit.
	They were like, no, fuck you.
	We're blowing this out.
	We're crushing this.
	So now, Basically, the Republican machine of Wisconsin is finally going to be broken at this point.
	And Wisconsin may actually achieve something resembling representative democracy in the near future.
	Because if you remember, when the 2022 midterms were going, the Republican nominee for governor literally stated, once I win, no Republican will ever lose in Wisconsin again.
	And then he lost.
	Wisconsin's Republican Party is pretty overt about the authoritarian fascism and how your vote, we really don't want it to matter here, so fuck you.
	I love how they're just like, if you, the people, elect me, your representative, I will make sure that your votes no longer matter.
	And somehow that isn't working.
	Yeah, it's amazing.
	So weird!
	Of course, for now, in that scenario, of course the Republican voter matters, but broadly speaking, he's just like, I will kill democracy if you elect me democratically!
	Yes!
	Yeah.
	And, uh, this was, uh, this was such a devastatingly, uh, devastating blow to the Republican Party, uh, at all that Alex Jones' friend and part of the January 6th bullshit, Ali Alexander, went on Telegram and said, that's it.
	I don't see a path to 270 for the Republicans of 2024.
	We're screwed.
	Basically, he just knows that if Wisconsin's Republicans can't throw enough sand in the gears to fuck with the election in 2024, Wisconsin's going blue, and they really need to win Wisconsin if they're going to have any bat to winning the election for Trump.
	So yeah, this was a kind of under-the-radar election that a lot of people have been talking about, and now finally it came and went.
	And all of that was great, but also what was great was the The bitter caking loser of the election declared that he wished he had a worthy opponent to concede to, but that didn't happen.
	Way to admit that you lost to somebody that sucks.
	Right?
	It's just like, if I had a worthy opponent, that would be fine, but I lost to this unworthy guy.
	It's like when I lose at Magic and I tell my opponent, I didn't lose because you beat me, I lost because my deck betrayed me, or I didn't draw the cards I need.
	You didn't beat me, I lost.
	I will never forget, sorry, it just triggered this memory in my head.
	I was playing, it was either Magic or Lord of the Rings or something, but I was playing a card game, and my opponent got, my opponent's deck betrayed them in the most vicious way possible, and I beat them.
	And the guy looked at me and said, good game!
	A monkey could have done that!
	And then just, this card just stormed away.
	And I was like, sorry man, that's what happens, sometimes you lose.
	That definitely sounds like some Lord of the Rings style shit.
	I remember feeling like I was playing like a monkey and still crushing people in that game.
	Probably was.
	Like the state champion that one time he showed up in our little store when I was like 13 and I borrowed your deck and I crushed him.
	I didn't know it, and I beat, when state champs and magic still mattered, I beat the Nebraska state champ at an FNM game, and that's when ratings were still a thing.
	And, oh man, never have you seen a more salty Midwest teenager.
	That was back when everybody had a rating score instead of the standard-I-smash-or-pass rating system we've all got to now.
	Yeah, his rating definitely took a huge hit, losing to me.
	He was so salty.
	And finishing up his concession speech, he declared, good luck to Wisconsin,
	you're going to need it.
	So yeah, die mad, you salty bitches, Republican party.
	You're the best.
	It's like all the people who said they were moving out of Chicago if Brandon won, and Brandon won.
	Oh yeah, I've seen a lot of people complaining about the Chicago mandatorial election also.
	I saw some paid-for-blue-check mark on Twitter being like, I'm officially questioning the results of the Chicago election.
	I'm like, oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Alright, here we go.
	It's official.
	You're questioning a Chicago election?
	Get the fuck out of here.
	People haven't been doing that for 200 years.
	Yeah.
	That's the Chicago way.
	Yeah.
	The ghost of Mayor Daley is still fucking pulling the switches.
	Sorry, buddy.
	Sean Connery got a little Australian there.
	Anyway, we want to move on from talking about Chicago and the good, good news about the special election, which I am glad that you brought up, but at the same time, fuck you for making us talk about Wisconsin.
	Get out of here!
	Get out of here with that one Dakota!
	One Dakota!
	One Dakota!
	I was going to mention that Elza's just tired of attacking all 50 states, working at a fever clip now.
	Bam!
	Take that!
	Yeah, I mean, before I was doing it organically, but now that artificial fire burns within me.
	I'm like a Mechagodzilla.
	Anyway, I guess it's time for us to move on to the juicy, juicy bone that is this week's headline news.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News!
	Uh, yeah, Donald Trump, who is a dickhead and could not see fit to have done it a couple of days early, or a couple of days later, but no, now that we are peak far, like, right in the middle far away from it on both ends, he has finally been indicted and, uh, like, officially arrested for his crimes!
	Hey!
	Hey!
	Oh!
	34 counts.
	I don't think we're going to go through the whole indictment.
	There's much smarter people that can do that for you, but 34 counts.
	All of them fraudulent, certainly.
	Fraudulent business records, falsifying business records, and they are all felonies.
	They are all juicy, juicy felonies.
	So that's wonderful.
	I have seen so much bitter caking and so much complaining about this and how, oh, this is so bullshit, they're going after him over this.
	Michael Cohen went to jail for this already.
	We already have a precedent in this crime of someone going to jail over it.
	Does Michael Cohen get to dip into a time machine and get those years of his life back that he spent at a club fed?
	Well, you have to remember, Mike, that everyone's core conceit on the Trump team is that The president can't be prosecuted for crimes, even if he's not the president anymore.
	He just gets to do grime.
	Whoever gets elected to office, the highest office in the land, they just get to grime it up.
	Okay, so obviously we have a hearty stew of different angles of attack to discuss the whole Trump nonsense.
	So I'll turn it over to Mike to lead the tour so far.
	So where do we want to start in all of this mess?
	Well, the first thing I wanted to talk about, which I guess is because technically we're a QAnon podcast and all that good stuff, is QAnon's reaction to all of this was basically, bring it!
	We back Trump one million percent!
	The digital soldiers fired up their Photoshop factories and got to work.
	Oh, did they ever?
	Oh my God.
	So this thing has, um, because they have to react to everything positively.
	This is an incredibly important part of QAnon.
	It is a hope-based movement, and it is a movement based on inevitable victory.
	So everything that happens has to be just a step towards that victory.
	Even if it looks like a step backwards, it's truly not.
	For instance, I love Donald Trump.
	I am glad that he was arrested.
	Mike, is this the storm?
	Is the storm upon us?
	So there is part of the QAnon mythos is Q stated that the first arrest would trigger a mass population reaction to it.
	And once it became kind of obvious that all this stuff percolating around Trump might result in his indictment, A lot of Q people were like, what if Trump is the first arrest?
	Originally it was going to be Hillary or Obama or maybe Comey or Fauci.
	It was going to be one of their enemies.
	But then as the tide turned, they were like, wait a minute, what if it's Trump?
	And this is how the normies get woken up to how corrupt our system of justice is.
	And that's what triggers the Great Awakening, is by Trump getting indicted, it just flips the script and it just turns everything around.
	And so now that this has happened, this is the path they're going to go down, where Trump is actually the first to ref, as Q was promising us all those millions of years ago, back when Q was actually posting.
	Well, that makes the most sense to me, and it is time for what is my possibly hot take to be made manifest on our podcast for our listeners' ears.
	That would be in line with other QAnon predictions, because I think Donald J. Trump ain't shit anymore.
	I think the bloom is already off that rose.
	I don't think he's got even half the juice he used to have.
	Failing at reclaiming your presidency was a blow that he could not weather.
	My skin is not tingling even a little over the fact that he is being brought up on charges.
	I just couldn't care less.
	I'm just like, oh, I hope they stick.
	But like, people are like, oh no, you think there's going to be marching in the streets or like crazy riots with a bunch of loss of life or whatever?
	I'm just like, no, absolutely not.
	None of that is happening.
	January 6th was like all they had in the tank.
	Like, they're just going to piss and moan on the internet and then eventually, you know, like Donald Trump will go away.
	Yeah, I do think that Trump will win the Republican nomination, mostly because I just don't think that they have anyone to supplant him with.
	DeSantis sucks.
	And I think that really what's going to happen is we are going to have the most boring election, like basically ever, from a results standpoint.
	Because the cake is baked on Trump.
	He basically got the same percentage of votes that he got against Hillary that he got against Biden.
	It was just that there was no more third party bullshit and more people voted to just give Biden a bigger cushion that he was able to win the Electoral College.
	But it's like Trump's ceiling is somewhere around like 47%, if that.
	None of this shit is going to make it better for him.
	There's no one who was on the fence who was like, Oh shit, Trump got indicted.
	I was thinking about Biden, but now, now I gotta go Trump.
	I mean, there's no two ways about it.
	I mean, my God, you indict somebody that obviously makes them way more politically viable.
	So holy shit.
	I'm on it.
	I'm on it.
	And I've actually seen some people, like, worrying.
	They're like, what's Trump gonna do to court moderates and independents?
	And I'm like, nothing.
	He's never, he didn't do it for the past two elections.
	This election, he sure as fuck ain't gonna do it.
	Yeah, and if he shows up in a fucking orange jumpsuit to a moderate's house or, you know, whatever, if they don't live on Mars and have heard that he is being investigated for federal crimes, it's like, You know, I wasn't on board before, but now I really love it.
	Right, exactly.
	Getting charged for crimes.
	It's just so silly to think that this guy's got more juice now
	than he's had in either of the previous two elections, where he, again, did not break 47% in either one of them.
	And that now is the moment where the American people will finally wake up and take his side.
	And it's just adorable.
	I mean, I, you know- Nobody's mobilizing anywhere, right?
	I haven't like, ain't nobody going anywhere and doing anything, even though like,
	like, you know, if you were one of the people questioning whether or not Donald Trump
	could become a political martyr, and your bet was no, then congratulations,
	your winnings are coming soon.
	They're coming in the mail.
	The judge, in his indictment, literally told him, do not go onto social media or TV and incite violence or intimidate You know, the nation, you know, intimidate basically everyone that could be a juror and or is a witness in your case.
	And then he immediately goes and does that.
	And his son truthed out a photo of the judge's daughter.
	Oh, yeah.
	And Trump called the judge a Trump-hating judge or a Trump-hating wife and family.
	The judge was just like, I do not want to hit you with a gag order because I understand the immense First Amendment situation about having a current presidential candidate under indictment.
	So I'm going to tread very lightly and hope that you will be able to fucking mind your own business.
	And Trump's like, nope, I'm going to make you do that gag order.
	Absolutely going to make you do that gag order.
	Immediately, no.
	Yeah, just can't help himself, is just going to dig a bigger hole for this shit like you read about.
	Because Trump and his lawyers managed to get the next time Trump is going to be actually in a courtroom pushed to December 4th of this year.
	So we are like seven months away from that.
	And he's just going to talk shit about this judge for forever.
	So at some ill-defined point, probably around the end of the summer, A gag order is gonna be issued and then Trump's gonna violate it and they're gonna haul his ass in the court and
	We're going to have the ultimate fun of having Trump facing a contempt of court citation that could have him hauled off to jail.
	That, I mean, of all the ways he could possibly go to jail on this whole thing, his own dumb bad behavior is like A number one right now, how it could be achieved.
	Because again, this trial probably won't resolve until after the election.
	I mean, if he just kept his yap shut, he could probably kick this can down the road, but That's not who he is.
	He's incapable of being quiet and just being even remotely kind of, I don't know, an adult.
	So as a result, he's just going to make this worse on himself.
	It's basically the end result.
	There's no two ways about it.
	He is absolutely going to fuck this up.
	Well, yeah, I mean, that is his way.
	It's all he knows.
	So the Q&A perspective on this is, of course, it's part of the elaborate 5D chess prophecy, first domino.
	I mean, I know I feel like the first domino has fallen.
	Oh boy.
	No.
	I'm just sitting here being whelmed by the whole situation and wishing that there was more juice to it.
	Can I get more juice to it while also securing people's lives?
	Because I don't want there to be any actual life-threatening violence.
	I would have perfected the kick straight at the line.
	I want it to stop right there.
	He wants to pin Team Trump right on the one yard line.
	He wants that ball to land perfectly.
	It's for the good of the show and our ability to sell out in the future.
	These QAnon people, they can't keep flaming out.
	If Trump can flame out, then who can't?
	It is interesting that we did have the mobilization that we did have was basically people waving Trump flags as Trump's car drove to the airport to then fly him to New York.
	Oh yeah I don't mean to imply that certainly that like absolutely nobody showed up of course some people showed up but like we did we didn't get a January 6th no it's just like oh shit 4-3 or whatever a day that would live in infamy like nobody like it's just like it was the day where Donald Trump Much more peacefully than any other United States citizen got led by a full motorcade to a place to be arrested.
	Right.
	Yeah, it was just this really by-the-book event.
	He went to the courtroom.
	He said he was not guilty.
	He sat at the defendant's chair.
	People took photos of him.
	There's a hilarious courtroom sketch of him that was made.
	All that stuff happened, and it was just the process.
	It was just the American judicial process beginning its incredibly slow, grinding operation towards this thing.
	The one thing that really just absolutely blew my mind was I saw just a little bit of coverage and I actually saw some idiot on TV being like, couldn't this backfire on the Democrats?
	And I'm just thinking to myself, like the Democrats didn't indict Trump.
	It was a grand jury in New York who saw the evidence and then filed to indict.
	This wasn't Joe Biden like ordering Trump's arrest.
	The Democrats didn't arrest him.
	Just the idea, because even our shitty media wants this to be some sort of weird, like straight up political thing where like Team Blue is now prosecuting the leader of Team Red because that's how American politics work.
	And it's like, no.
	This was a crime.
	This was a crime that we knew about for a long, long time, where again, a guy already went to jail over it.
	And when he wanted to write a book about that crime, Bill Barr and Donald Trump threw him back in jail for trying to write that book about the crime.
	And then they had to let him out because he served his time.
	Do you think these successful indictments, successful in that he actually got indicted and charged, lead to more in other places?
	Do you think that it makes like the Georgia ones more likely?
	Absolutely.
	I don't see how he is going to absolutely get indicted.
	The federal indictment from Jack Smith about the documents Is 100% going to happen what they do about January 6th.
	That is, I think there will be a January 6th based indictment at some point.
	I don't know why Georgia is dragging their feet.
	It almost felt like Georgia was waiting for New York to go first, but we had the foreman of the grand jury.
	We had her on TV literally saying, yeah, we recommended indictment charges against him, so.
	I don't see why not on Georgia, so I really do think that All the people out there who are doing this ridiculous, Oh, the American legal system is so weird.
	And there's so many permutations and you probably committed four felonies today about even knowing it.
	And it's like, fuck you.
	That's bullshit.
	Like the idea that we have this inscrutable legal system that no one can avoid running afoul of.
	If they don't do the right thing, it's ludicrous.
	I just can't wait for those people to go from, oh, everyone's a criminal, really, if you think about it, to after he gets indicted for stealing documents and selling them to the Saudis and shit.
	They're gonna be like, well, you know, technically everyone's a traitor.
	I mean, it's just the way it is.
	Sometimes you gotta sell government secrets.
	It could happen to anybody.
	Right.
	It could happen to anyone.
	It's just the way it works.
	So I do think that probably, probably in like three or four months, this case is going to be the least of Trump's problems because he's going to get the big boy crimes coming at him in the very near future.
	And it's going to be like, Oh yeah, I remember, remember when he was merely indicted for falsifying business records to cover up a hush money payment to the important star that he had sex with once.
	Oh, man, that was those were the sunny days of the Trump legal system battle because now he's being indicted for actual national security crimes in his rambling speech about this whole thing because he wanted he just wanted this day to be All about me!
	So he got in front of a lectern and gave a big speech and ranted and raved.
	He did let it slip that, oh yeah, by the way, I am being looked into for violating the Espionage Act.
	I am actually... That stolen documents thing?
	It's much worse than you thought.
	It's really bad.
	It's like so bad.
	You have no idea.
	They're talking treason.
	I could get the death penalty.
	Well, let's not get too excited there.
	That seems really unlikely, although what a time to be alive that would be.
	I don't think that's actually going to happen.
	I'm just saying that it was just really funny that he's just so incapable of filtering himself, and he's just such a giant moron that he's just letting us know, A, he's guilty, and B, he's being investigated for bigger crimes.
	Because his interview with Sean Hannity, Oh boy, if you were his lawyer, you are just... I don't know, you probably are still on your bender from that one, because...
	Hannity was just like, so Donald Trump, you're not the kind of guy that, you know, takes national security documents and keeps them for yourself because you're just a straight up American who like values national security.
	Just a regular American guy.
	You're just a guy.
	Right.
	You're just a guy.
	You happen to be president, but you would never violate our national security.
	And Trump was immediately like, oh no, no, I was right to take them.
	I had the right to do that.
	Like, Sean, Sean, buddy, buddy.
	I can take whatever documents I want.
	I was the president.
	It's all cool.
	We're good.
	And he was like, Oh, let's move on.
	Um, we're, we're moving on.
	Cause I'm having you confessing to crimes on my show this, uh, on the crime bay.
	I mean, I've read more than one thing about how the worst decision Donald Trump and his lawyers could make going forward is have him testify.
	Oh my god, there is literally no way on God's green earth if he ever testified under oath that he would not commit a million counts of perjury.
	Like, everything he would say, it was like, uh...
	Be the greatest thing in the world.
	Be like, Donald Trump, uh, convicted on five of the 34 counts of falsified business records, now indicted on 30 counts of perjury.
	And they're all slam dunks.
	And then the report is just literally, this is the lie.
	This is the fact.
	This is the lie.
	It's just like, Oh my God.
	Like, Oh man, that is a man who is asserting his fifth amendment rights because fuck, there's no goddamn way he could talk about it being a crime.
	Because there's only two options are confess, because he's too stupid to know he's confessing, or perjury.
	Easily provable perjury.
	That's it.
	Okay, well, just when you thought it was safe to get back into the political landscape of America, no, no, no.
	Here comes Marjorie Taylor Greene again, as prophesied and promised earlier in the show.
	She's back, and we're going to talk about her yet again, the old double dip, because she had some stuff to say.
	She was among a few politicians that showed up to go to bat for Donald Trump before scurrying away, like the cowards they are, among them being George Santos and MTG, who we're going to talk about now, and presumably some others.
	So, some of this I actually know about for once, but I'll let Mike take us in.
	Mike, who all showed up to voice their physical, actual, bodily support for Donald Trump?
	The thing that's really funny about that is I was trapped in an airtight seal basically during the indictment.
	I just saw the whistlegate thing.
	I just saw Marjorie try to scream and yell about how America's Republic is falling and we need to be saved.
	And then she was drowned out by whistles.
	And then after she was drowned out by the whistles, they found the guy that gave out the whistles and he was actually a pro-Trump protester who was handing out whistles and he didn't know that Marjorie Taylor Greene was in the area.
	And that his whistles had been used to shout her down and crush her bullhorning into the crowd.
	So basically, the pro-Trump people accidentally worked against themselves to ruin Marjorie's attempted star-making performance that would turn her into the vice presidential nominee for the Republican Party in 2024.
	Have we figured out what she was trying to say?
	I mean, she did have a bullhorn.
	You could kind of make her out in the recording.
	She talked for two minutes.
	It's all culture war nonsense.
	It's nothing worth, like, repeating.
	How many seconds into it did it take for her to mention, like, children's genitals?
	That's their big sticking point.
	They love to talk about them.
	45 seconds.
	They cannot stop talking about those things that they claim to hate.
	Why would you discuss it at literally every moment of your life then?
	Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
	I don't want to think about those.
	Get out of here.
	And, uh, and she had that post on Twitter about, again, the Democratic Party being the party of pedophiles.
	And she has this photo, this video clip of like Biden leaning into this kid and talking to him and making it look all creepy.
	And look at this weird Biden guy getting frenzy and handsy with this kid.
	And obviously he's a sicko.
	And the whole, the actual context of the video was that the kid has a stutter.
	And that's like Biden's big thing, because Biden had a stutter too.
	And Biden's like the ultimate avatar of the stuttering community, because he's like, I overcame my stutter and now I'm the fucking president.
	So you think he laid that real close?
	It was just like, I'm gonna f-f-f-f-fuck you.
	Sorry, that was terrible.
	I couldn't resist.
	The look on Sargent's face was so great.
	That was very bad.
	Yeah, that was worse.
	I've done worse.
	Not that we haven't cut.
	And who knows if we're cutting that one.
	I mean, look, I'm not... I have nothing against anyone with a stutter.
	I don't mean to disparage them.
	That is the part I have the most... I have nothing against the pedophile community.
	No, no, no.
	We do a content warning at the top of the show that there's going to be horrible discussions like that.
	But the stutter thing, that's a stray that I would like to apologize for.
	The other stuff is covered by content warning.
	This is a comedy show.
	We have to talk about people that are obsessed with pedophiles.
	I'm sorry.
	And it's just really, it's just everything they do.
	They always find this shit where Basically, if Biden is within 50 feet of a kid, they will find a freeze frame where the look on the kid's face is a little awkward or a little off, and then they're like, boom, post it.
	How many times did they follow up those images with the picture of Trump with Epstein?
	Like, isn't it pictures of him, like, with Epstein, and Andor, and Delane, and, like, just palling around, just being like, haha, we're all rich!
	And, like, back then, our boy didn't seem to, I mean, aw, he was just a babe in the woods.
	How could he have known?
	How could he have known when he was on the island personally?
	Trump is literally quoted as saying Epstein likes young girls.
	That's taken out of context.
	He meant another guy.
	Epstein's a very common name.
	Donald Trump lives in New York City filled with many Jews.
	A great many Jews, you know?
	Yes.
	Yeah, it could have been Jeff Epstein, not Jeffrey.
	Absolutely, totally different guy.
	It was his Mexican Jewish friend, Jefe.
	And there was Jeff.
	It's just so ridiculous.
	It's so silly that...
	Their guy is very easily linked to the most famous child trafficking monster of our age.
	Well, since the goat died.
	Rest in power, Michael Jackson.
	You guys both made very sour faces when I made that joke.
	Before he died, he was literally the poster boy for grooming children.
	So don't come at me with those sour pusses.
	I'm not really doing as much as the next guy, but internet problems.
	My quick, it wasn't a sour face about Michael Jackson.
	I was more just wondering, in my head, did Jerry Sandusky die?
	Did the Catholic Church die?
	We've just had so many.
	Did Gary Glitter die?
	We've just had so many events with pedophiles in the recent memory.
	You know what?
	That's fair.
	It is a much closer discussion than the quarterback one.
	I should have been a little more clear when I said my pick for the goat.
	Yeah.
	It's just, give me Savile Dead.
	Yep, yeah, oh god, that fucking monster.
	QAnon loves bringing up Jerry Savile, because he's the perfect example of their idea of the evil celebrity elite that hid their crimes for forever.
	And it's like, well, they got exposed.
	I mean, it sucked that he didn't get punished when he was alive, but we all know he's a monster now, so... They had to remove his gravestone so people would stop pissing on it.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that seems like it's in poor taste.
	You just leave it there to be pissed on.
	He was a monster.
	Yeah, exactly.
	People need a designated pissing spot.
	Yeah, what are you talking about?
	Fuck these people.
	Oh, what did he did?
	Oh yeah, let it fly then.
	Yes, absolutely.
	Oh, he did what?
	Oh, let us put that back up there for you.
	Sorry to remove that.
	I have to assume he was buried in like a really fancy cemetery and it's just like, you know, people there mourning their rich grandma and they look over and it's like, Yeah, that's Jimmy Savile's gravestone.
	Just laying flowers down.
	They should just build the plastic walls of a porta potty around it.
	That way everybody wins.
	Everybody can let their feelings be known and nobody else gets disturbed.
	And the little kids can just be like, what's going on over there?
	She's like, oh, that's construction, honey.
	That's a portable loo or whatever.
	Yeah, we'll tell you when you're older when we put this on it.
	Yeah.
	That would be like the coming of age in Britain is when you get to take your first piss on Jerry Saville's grave.
	It's just like, oh man.
	Anyway, Mike, I expected you to know more about the Santos thing than I did.
	I heard that he showed up and then was quickly ushered away because he was, quote, afraid for his safety.
	But I guess he was afraid of his safety from reporters.
	I guess he just kept being mobbed by reporters while he was there.
	And then he wimped out and ran away like a soft person.
	His kryptonite is reasonable questions that he should have answers to.
	I mean, is that his kryptonite?
	I feel like he's got a solid play for that, and that is to just lie.
	Just lie about it because, like, what are they gonna do?
	They've made it clear, like, that they're not kicking him out yet.
	How many more lies would need to be uncovered before they finally did the do?
	Well, I think that probably at this point, his main concern, avoiding reporters and answering questions, it would involve the person who brought up the fact that they were a part of his credit card skimming crime screen that he was the ringleader of.
	So I don't think he wants to, like, talk about that little thing that's now being looked into by law enforcement, because I mean, his entire life is just one giant crime.
	So, the fact that we actually have people on the record being like, oh yeah, by the way, this was an actual, like, financial crime that I know Jordan Sandos was a part of, because I was part of his network of people that were stealing credit card numbers off of people in public, in restaurants and shit.
	I can see why George would not want to be like, oh yeah, let's talk about that.
	Let's talk about the thing that could actually lead to charges against me.
	Not that a million other things couldn't eventually get me in legal hot water, but this is just a straight up outright crime crime that has been talked about in the recent past in my I mean, why did this guy?
	Why did this guy do this?
	Why did he try to win a fucking house seat?
	Did he think that there'd be no heat on him after he became an elected official holding a national office?
	That's just like...
	You know, I'm sort of glad that he exists, if only because it is a metric that we have gotten better in some ways as a culture, or at least more tolerant.
	Because can you imagine how nuclear the Bob Show would have been in the 90s if somebody that was elected to a position like that was discovered to have been a secret drag queen?
	Oh my god.
	Dude, Bill Clinton shit got all fucked up for an extramarital blowjob.
	A secret drag queen?
	Holy shit!
	Game over, man!
	Game over!
	Oh yeah, I mean, he would have had to have resigned in disgrace immediately, because that would just be so untoward.
	Think of the children, all of it.
	I mean, it's now, despite Republicans trying to make America great again, by which I mean make it the 50s, by which I mean I guess now make it the 90s, where that's not acceptable, like, you know, fucking, like, thankfully, we've, like, despite their best efforts at hating drag queens, Like, as a society, we have come to love drag queens because they're delightful.
	It's just a different sort of performance.
	It's like kabuki or whatever.
	It's just a genre.
	And, uh, you know, like, I just think it's so funny that it would have been complete poison in the 90s, now completely acceptable whatever, who cares?
	But what Republicans are desperate to do is get back to that juicy time where we can hate him, where we can hate his guts!
	It's like, he's on your team!
	I mean, that's what's so funny about it, is that they're the ones screaming about this stuff, and it's like, yay, then kick him out of Congress.
	If this is the bad thing that's grooming our kids and is evil and wrong, yo, you have George Santos.
	You had Donald Trump nuzzling Rudy Giuliani's boobs.
	Drag is just a part of American life for forever, and you idiots are trying to generate this ridiculous moral panic over it.
	It's so absurd.
	It's so ludicrous.
	But never ask those people why, because inevitably the conversation will, and I can't stress this enough, turn to discussing children's genitals.
	It will just happen with it.
	You'll be able to count it down.
	Get out your fastest little board game sand timer and turn it over immediately.
	You're getting it within 30 seconds, baby.
	Oh, absolutely.
	Oh, man, you will not be able to finish boiling an egg by the time they get straight to the raging transphobia, because that's... God, it's just so funny to me that this is where we are in America, where we have This, these frothing mad lunatics on one side, and on the other side, we have this 80-year-old Irish Catholic dude who's just like, let trans people be!
	Leave them alone!
	Like, that's the fact that our president should be, based on his age and his religion, just like, probably kind of bigoted about this kind of shit.
	And Biden's just been like, nope, gay people are cool, trans people are cool.
	He, I forget who it was, but there were some Right-wing shithead who tried to get him with the gotcha question.
	And they were like, hey Biden, how many genders are there?
	And Biden answered, at least three.
	And then they tried to follow up and they were just like, can you identify them?
	Can you name those genders?
	And Biden was like, leave me alone.
	Maybe it's just...
	He...
	Secret Service.
	Back this time.
	Secret Service, push this person away.
	Remove them from my general location.
	Secret Service, give me my katana so I can kill that man.
	Because apparently the president is immune to being prosecuted.
	Yes!
	Yeah.
	Oh wait, we're getting word that they're not?
	That's so weird.
	I thought I could just decapitate this journalist with my katana.
	Wall in office.
	Wall in office.
	You know what?
	That would be a great precedent to set.
	I would love to see... I mean, imagine how much more contentious the race for the president would be if it was clear that once you got to the office, you became immune to being prosecuted for crime.
	I feel like some more savvy people would start getting involved in politics just to try to go for the brass rig.
	Can you imagine if the head of a corporation suddenly made it to presidency and they were just like, oh, as long as I'm doing it, it's not a crime then, eh?
	Well, looks like it's time to make a little profits.
	Guess what?
	Your subdivision swimming pool?
	Toxic waste.
	It always has been.
	I'm just letting you know now.
	By the authority vested in me as simultaneously the President of the United States and the CEO of the Disney Corporation, I hereby induct all of you 10-year-old children as official Disney employees.
	Congratulations.
	Go make merch.
	Yeah, I'm just bringing America to one giant sweatshop and you can't do fucking anything about it.
	President.
	Boom.
	Nailed it.
	That is my signature on your quote-unquote paychecks, so no crime, no crime.
	I believe we can all agree that there's no crime here.
	Absolutely done.
	I've just seen so many people talking about how, oh, if you charge Trump with a crime and stuff like that, more presidents are going to try to fight to not leave office and stuff.
	And it's like, he already did that!
	They all do!
	Every last one of them!
	They all run for re-election.
	They all try to stay in power.
	Trump literally tried to organize a coup to remain in power after he lost.
	If you make it clear that being the president makes you immune to crime, then more people are going to do all of the horrible shit that our guy pioneered.
	That's not fair!
	That's our thing!
	Oh my God.
	It's just, there's, and the one thing I love about all of this is nobody is actually arguing that he didn't do it.
	I have, I mean, the only people who are arguing he didn't do it are like QAnon people who are like, Trump is innocent.
	He's the most blameless man who has ever lived.
	The most virtuous human being that has ever existed.
	The fanfiction is so psychotic.
	I've been posting screenshots of the nutso shit they've been posting, and people are like, this has to be paid for.
	There's no way people can earnestly believe this.
	I'm here to assure you, dear listeners, people do.
	They are this fucked up.
	They really do see Trump as some sort of bizarre messianic figure who's going to save humanity.
	It's insane.
	See, the last couple of years in QAnon, Right.
	It's just the way they are.
	And, but any legal analysis is mostly just like, well, now this here is kind of supposed to be a misdemeanor and they bumped it up to a felony by doing this stuff.
	And I don't know if that's going to fly over the judge, but I haven't seen any legal analysts being like, yeah, Trump's going to be able to beat this because he didn't do it.
	It's like, no, no one's saying that.
	Literally everyone's just sad that A, these are the charges against him and B, that he got charged at all.
	I just want to fall into a time machine and go back to whenever Al Capone got indicted and being like, oh, they're really going after him on tax evasion.
	This is bullshit.
	What are we even doing here?
	He's murdered so many people.
	This is ridiculous.
	And it's like, hey, they're getting him on what crimes they can get him on so they can put him in jail because he's a bad person.
	So, I mean.
	Yeah, it's like how they got Al Capone.
	It always goes back to, like, they got him on tax evasion because he was very good at hiding the murder.
	I'm not saying Trump murdered anyone, but, you know, there's an outside chance.
	It's also part of the process even before then, like when criming is happening, like if somebody is suspected of murder or whatever, and they're just like, well, we've got him dead to rights on the traffic violation, so we'll use that as an opportunity to hold them while we get our murder shit together.
	Yeah, and investigate them further and, like, dig into their shit, like... So, oh my God, guys, did we come to the conclusion after all that talk that maybe it is the first domino to fall, but it's falling in the opposite direction in the way that the Republicans want?
	Oh my God!
	Cue wrong again, how could that be?
	Oh, man, it's gonna be just so funny as this shit piles up against him, and at the same time, You're just gonna- I- I- It is really amazing to me how Ron DeSantis is just so fucking bad at this.
	The fact that he was like, I'm not gonna extradite Trump.
	And Trump's like, yeah, I don't, I need to be extradited.
	I'm just gonna get on my plane and fly there.
	Calm down, Ron.
	I got this.
	It's like, Ron, he's your political rival at this point.
	He needs to be throwing elbows.
	You need to be trying to beat him up.
	And DeSantis is just like, oh no, I'm still Trump's friend.
	I just want to be the nominee instead of him.
	And it's all good.
	Like in 2016, they did the exact same shit against this guy where they were all like, Trump's eventually going to cross a line.
	He's going to eventually do something that's going to disqualify him from continuing to be popular.
	And I'm just going to play nicey nice with him.
	And then his constituents will come to me.
	And then I, Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio or whoever, I will be the nominee.
	And it didn't work because there's no way you're going to get those people away from Trump.
	So he just cruised.
	So all these Republicans who are not Trump are just sitting here being like, Oh, the next indictment is going to be the one that's going to make him too toxic for the voters.
	And it's like, no, there's no indictment that's going to make him too toxic for Republican primary voters.
	Rest assured when he gets indicted for whatever crimes he committed on the documents and every shit like that.
	Even if we have like a fucking video of him being like, Hey, I can get $5 million for selling these nuclear secrets to Saudi Arabia.
	Fucking tell him to PayPal it to me.
	Won't matter.
	They'll call it a deepfake.
	They'll fuckin' say that it doesn't mean anything, that it's fake news.
	They're gonna vote for him!
	Like, the only way you can beat Trump is by going at him.
	And the fact that fuckin' Puddin' Fingers DeSantis can't do it, it's like, congratulations Republicans, congratulations on Trump being your nominee again.
	Yeah, DeSantis has proven himself to be such a weak do-nothing that it's just like, I guess maybe see you in 2028 and hopefully you put yourself in the fucking hyperbaric time chamber or whatever for those four years and come out somebody that's actually got a little bite to him because otherwise you're not the next Trump, buddy.
	Like, you know, you've got nothing going for you.
	You're like, I'm the king of the worst state in the South somehow, Florida.
	It's just like, wow, congratulations to the chief.
	You really did it.
	You're the best.
	I mean, like, this is the thing.
	Let's just say that this works out the way it does.
	Trump runs in 2024, gets raffle stomped.
	In 2028, just like your hypothetical matchup, DeSantis versus Tucker Carlson.
	Tucker destroys him!
	Tucker's the nominee 10 out of 10 times!
	I mean, it's just... Oh yeah, Tucker's for sure got juice.
	Yeah, and I feel like Tucker, for all of him being a horrible monster, I feel like he does have it in him to suddenly just look down the barrel of a camera and be like, Donald Trump sucks!
	Like, he's the worst!
	And then people will just be like...
	But Tuck, look at all this footage from your show over the years with you effusively praising Trump and he'd just be like, that was then and this is now.
	Trump is the worst and I hate him.
	And it's just like, okay, well, I do have faith that Trump, that like, it would be like a, like a clinical move.
	Like the people that control him would tell him, this is what you need to say down the barrel of the camera, but he'll perform.
	He'll do it.
	Oh, absolutely.
	You give him the script, he's going to read it.
	He's going to say what he needs to say.
	I mean, that's just the way it works.
	And the fact that no other Republican can do that is so wild.
	They're just so beholden to this guy, no matter what, and it's just going to be great.
	He's just this giant anchor that's been thrown to the Republican Party that they're just going to go down with.
	Between that and their burning hatred on trans issues and their absolute psychosis on abortion rights, it's just like, man, can you make yourselves less popular?
	Can you really just alienate more and more people with your bullshit?
	I actually saw someone um talk about this guy was just like man I'm pro-life but if we have to go to like an abandoned only 15 weeks in order to win it's okay and then that guy got crushed everyone else was like no this is our hill to die on like no abortion ever or six weeks maximum and it's just like man Like, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret of American electoral politics.
	Fetuses don't vote.
	Women do.
	Look at Idaho.
	They've passed some of the most restrictive abortion laws, to the point where doctors can be charged with crimes.
	And two hospitals have had to close their maternity wards because they can't get doctors to work there!
	They're just like, no, it's not worth it!
	I'll be charged with a crime for half the shit I need to do to deliver a baby.
	I have a new pitch for the greatest show ever.
	Having found out that becoming the president makes you immune to crimes, an enterprising, forward-thinking abortion surgeon or whatever runs for presidency and wins and then becomes the busiest abortion doctor on the earth.
	I was gonna say a supervillain, but like, DC already did that with Lex Luthor, but... No, we just have someone carrying out George Tiller's legacy by becoming president, and then just going to all the red estates and performing all the abortions.
	Like, literally, they're like, look everybody!
	My vice president is actually kind of running the government.
	I'm just doing my job legally in the states where it's illegal to do this and waiting for enough Supreme Court justices to die that I can appoint liberals to the court to finally get Roe reinstated.
	Because America's fucking political system is that fucked.
	But until then, refer all questions about legislation or America's foreign policy to my vice president.
	Because I've got a lot of abortions to perform, because that's what I was elected for, is to just help out women in red states.
	And, dear reader, or I guess listener, if you think that I am being a little crass with that, and that that idea is a bridge too far, I'll remind you that I think it's like CBS has a show about a scrappy young medical professional whose superpower is Asperger's.
	I'm pretty sure that got multiple seasons.
	I seem to remember seeing more of that.
	Yeah, he got married in the show.
	It got at least three seasons, I think?
	Excellent.
	Well done.
	Yes.
	Asperger's doctor.
	Let's really hammer it home.
	It's just like, hey, Asperger's is so bad.
	Sometimes you're like an X-Man or whatever.
	Because I'm a doctor!
	Because I've got Asperger's!
	It's really bizarre.
	I feel like we figured out that was offensive after Raidman, but apparently not.
	Like, now it's just like, hey, don't worry.
	Whatever disorder you have is cool as long as it makes you hyper-useful.
	We'll give you the team, Rudolph.
	We had Rudolph before, but now we love it.
	Now your red nose is useful!
	Get on the sleigh, Rudolph!
	Now you are!
	Because we are a fickle lot.
	Anyway, speaking of a fickle lot, I feel like that's as much Trump talk as we need to do this week, because as the story continues to develop, we will continue to have to revisit it, of course.
	So let's, instead, away to our listener mailbag.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q and A. MeBad asks, recent IRS quote-unquote raid on Matt Talaby, concerning or a stunt?
	Since only the worst people are reporting on it, I'm leaning towards stunt.
	I don't think it was... you put raid in quotes, so I do think it was more along the lines of not a raid.
	And I don't think that anyone's actually going after Elon's bootlicking, uh, Toadie.
	I just don't see this as a devastating politicization of the IRS against a poor, innocent journalist.
	Like, he was the guy that, like, wouldn't really even defend the fact that he was getting rich off of Elon's bullshit.
	Because one of the, when he was before Congress, they were like, are you making money off of this?
	And he was like, well, I have more money, but I spent more money, so not really.
	It's like, no, that means you made more money.
	That's how this works.
	If you spent more money, you had more to spend.
	Yeah, I accumulated more money, but I spent it all on cars and stuff, so I have technically the same amount of money, if you get what I'm saying.
	Like, I'm the same amount of liquid.
	Yeah, so I As he also stated like again This is not really made it into like any kind of news because again no one really cares about him unless he's posting Elon's latest Twitter files Which I think we're on like part 97 of and no one cares It's just for those reasons that Mike just outlined Sarge and I aren't really interjecting very much because I'm sure that we both don't know who this is I don't know this is Matt Taibbi.
	I know him as Elon's pet reporter.
	Like, he gets drip-fed what Elon wants him to tell people.
	My heart weeps for you that you have to know this.
	I knew that much.
	Join me in the blissful ignorance of not knowing who this guy is at all.
	It's so good.
	It's just like, hey, did you hear that this guy got raided by the IRS?
	And I'm just like, oh, sick, I guess.
	I don't know.
	I don't know that guy.
	Sweet.
	Sweet or terrible?
	I don't know who he is.
	Yeah, the best part about him is that he's just an absolute piece of shit who wrote a book about sexually harassing slash assaulting women in Russia, and then when people brought it up that he actually chronicled a book about him and his friends doing this stuff, he's like, oh no, those sections were satire or parody or whatever I have to say to not That was what I actually did in Chronicled when I was apparently a sex pest overseas.
	So yeah, congratulations to that terrible human being and I hope Elon's money is worth it.
	Pancake Peasant asks, sports betting is a huge thing.
	What are your top complaints about the state of things, and is there any QAnon connection to a non-better a non-better wouldn't be aware of?
	Oh, nice.
	Me and Zarks can take a pee break.
	Yeah.
	I have to take a little nippy nap.
	I don't think ever bet on sports in my life.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm the degenerate sports bettor of the three of us.
	Basically, I don't really have any complaints about what's going on right now.
	I'm more happy than anything that online sports betting is now legal in Massachusetts, so I don't have to tip over to New Hampshire.
	Because basically, all around Massachusetts it got legalized, but Massachusetts dragged its feet for forever before finally doing it.
	The QAnon connection, I believe, is more along the lines of the weird pattern recognition slash everything is rigged bullshit that exists in our world.
	I don't think people understand how conspiratorial sports bettors are.
	It is insane how everyone thinks the refs are out to fuck you in particular.
	Like, I knew people in Vegas who would swear to me that the Sunday football games were all on the level, but Monday night football was rigged.
	Because they knew everyone was betting the Monday night game because it was the only game to bet.
	So they would just rig it so the team that had the more money on it would lose.
	And that's just a recurring thing.
	And you'll always hear shit like this.
	It's really funny how people who are super into all the nooks and crannies and all the special advanced analytical stats, at the end of the day, they'll just go full QAnon about a fucking football game.
	And it's just like, Make up your mind.
	Are you, are we going to talk about, uh, pass block, win rates and air yards and all this kind of niche shit that no one understands?
	Or are you going to tell me, yeah, they brought this ref in the rig, the game, cause they want the pills to win.
	Like you can't have both.
	You can't tell me that the stats matter and that it's the WWE.
	It's gotta be one or the other.
	There's no middle ground.
	So I just think it's really funny that.
	America has become more and more conspiratorial as time's gone on.
	And the more people who bet on sports, the more conspiratorial they'll become because there's no way my bet could have lost.
	It had to be rigged.
	And it's like, no, sports are just fucking unbelievably chaotic and everything's a small sample size.
	So that's just the way it works.
	It's really, it's just fun.
	So I think you're cosigning whatever Mike Raines said, I guess.
	Yes.
	I hope you had a good turn one draft in Storybook Brawl while I was doing all that.
	I hope you got Humpty, hope you're going to be able to triple up that egg.
	Is it working again?
	Oh yeah, it turns out it wasn't perfectly dead this time.
	But the fact that that seemed like the case, not a good sign.
	Anyway.
	Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor asks, how did you celebrate Trump's arrest?
	Uh, I mostly just talked to one of my liberal friends and they were just like, yeah, hey, he got arrested.
	He got indicted.
	Fuck that guy.
	And I was like, yeah, fuck him.
	What actual date did it happen?
	What was like, which day, which day was it?
	Tuesday.
	Yesterday, wasn't it?
	Well, yesterday was the indictment.
	The indictment was unsealed, but the actual declaration that he had been indicted was like Thursday.
	It was like right after, it was like, as Elle said, it was like right after we finished recording on Wednesday, it was like, boom.
	And now we're putting the podcast on the internet clicks button.
	Trump indicted!
	I try to think, if it was Thursday, I think that I was doing nothing.
	But if it was any other day over the course of the weekend, then I would have been doing something.
	For instance, if it was Friday, I would have been playing D&D to celebrate.
	By which I mean, it was happening, and I would have been playing D&D.
	Because I don't care.
	Certainly not enough to celebrate.
	I mean, when he is like...
	Behind bars that will be a concert celebration, but like if you know like I'd be fine He's arrested it's happening right now see it and I'm just like yeah lots of people get arrested and they get off so shut up I watched O.J.
	get arrested.
	I'm that old.
	Like, I was there when O.J.
	got arrested, and it was clear that he did the thing.
	And he was never the president, so he had no leg to stand on there, like, regarding his invulnerability to crimes.
	And, uh, yeah.
	But then he got off, and I was just like, oh.
	It looks like the justice system, like, isn't perfect or whatever.
	Took that lesson, like, away at, like, age six or whatever.
	Yeah.
	Me and a school bus driver gave each other a look as the result came down the pipeline, because we were driving home from some field trip.
	And we were both just like, really?
	And I was just like, and now as an adult, I get to remember that moment and just be like, I was like six!
	I shared that moment with like an adult-ass person.
	We looked at each other and were both equally confused as to what we were hearing.
	Anyway.
	I think I may have actually told that story on the podcast before.
	No, you haven't.
	I never heard that before.
	I think you told me, but I definitely...
	You haven't told all the pod.
	Anyway, Sarge, did you did you tip any champagne back when the when the deed was done?
	I think I had a drink or something.
	I think I think I was like.
	I was as I am want to do lately.
	I was probably painting something and I stopped to look at the news feed and saw he was actually factually indicted and I was like hey rad like had to drink man.
	Didn't dance or dance in the street or anything.
	I am also just pretty much waiting for an actual conviction.
	I don't think he's ever going to see the inside of a jail cell, but an actual conviction would, I'm fairly certain, mean he can't legally run for office anymore and would take him out of our hair quite a bit.
	Yeah, I think that's kind of the way it was is with at least these crimes.
	I think that like potentially the national security shit, I think that could get to a point where it'd be possible.
	They'd have to do something with like house arrest or something.
	Cause the whole secret service detail thing would be really weird.
	Hey, Secret Service guys, you have to go to jail with Trump.
	It's like how when an Egyptian pharaoh died, they like killed all his servants and they have to go in the pyramid with them.
	It's like, no!
	Secret Service isn't, they're not priests.
	They don't have, they're not sworn to secrecy, right?
	If they see him do something illegal, like they have to say something, right?
	That is a part of the recent testimony about the documents is that a bunch of Secret Service agents have testified before the grand jury about shit.
	So if Trump told them, hey, move these boxes, the Secret Service are allowed to tell the grand jury, yeah, we moved the boxes with the documents.
	I just thought about I was like, wait, wait a second.
	They're not sworn to secrecy.
	They're in fact, technically law enforcement.
	If anything, they'd have to say something more.
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	So thank you for the question.
	SubZeroShirtArt asks, Mike Rothschild's book, Will Sommer's book, and your book are in a cage match fight to the death.
	What are your finishing moves?
	I can't even wrap my head around that.
	I don't even know how a book would land a finishing move.
	Each book would kind of fall on the others or they'd be stacked up like dominoes.
	Backbreaker.
	You can't slightly anthropomorphize books in your head so they can produce such maneuvers as the paper cut and the spine breaker?
	Al got to the same joke as me because books have spines.
	Submission hold the earmark?
	Yes, that is excellent.
	All our.
	The last thing I thought that this question would obtain is El going on a hilarious riff, but it achieved that.
	That's his question.
	That's his question.
	That's my function.
	But I just didn't think it was there.
	The question just so paralyzed me that I had nothing.
	El just jumped up to the plate and hit a home run.
	I'm like, fuck, man.
	I mean, come on, man.
	And the event, the pay-per-view event is called Off the Top Shelf.
	It's a good one.
	I mean, come on.
	It writes itself!
	Bazinga!
	A pun inside of a pun!
	It's Punception!
	This is like the people going into the fucking Eminem's lyrics and coming up with triple entendres and all kinds of stuff.
	Wait a minute, let him cook!
	I'm like, go to the matrix, book puns!
	This is going to be our newest podcast within a podcast about book puns.
	Please like and subscribe.
	Boozinga!
	Another pun!
	Thank you!
	You're a real pundertaker.
	Yes.
	Leach from Buffalo asks, how do you plan on spending your eminent Nisera Jisera cash windfall by converting it into Iraqi dinars?
	Excuse me?
	What?
	Oh, Jisera Nisera is basically the Iraqi dinar scam before the Iraqi dinar scam happened.
	It is this idea that the American currency was going to be revaluated in such a way as to make everybody immensely wealthy.
	The story was like that Bill Clinton signed a law to do this and that obviously isn't true.
	And then there was a furtherance of this conspiracy theory that the law Bill Clinton signed to go into effect was going to happen on 9-11.
	That's why Bush did the World Trade Center to distract everybody and then he Here's the thing.
	Non-economists need to shut the fuck up.
	Because here's how money works.
	hasn't happened yet, but it legally has to happen.
	And as soon as we defeat the deep state, we will find the Jaseera Naseera legislation
	and we will all be filthy stinking rich.
	Here's the thing, non-economists need to shut the fuck up because here's how money works.
	If you tell somebody something has no value, then they'll treat it like it has no value
	and we'll have hyperinflation.
	So, you fucking fungus brains.
	If the government says, hey, that old money has no value, this is the new money, and you're all rich, the market will correct itself.
	Look, I'm not saying that you're wrong and to go off-king, but that being said, I did think it was pretty funny for you to lead that statement with, if you're not an economist, shut the fuck up!
	Here's how money works!
	I believe that's literally what you said.
	If you're not an economist, people should shut the fuck up.
	Here's how money works.
	And here I am thinking, I didn't know Sarge was an economist.
	I took an economy class in college.
	Oh, thank God.
	You cleared that bar yet.
	So I think that you have now perjured yourself on the podcast, so the only way you can fix this is by becoming president, so you can be immune to the crime of perjury that you committed just a moment ago.
	I get super amnesty?
	Yes, ultimate amnesty.
	The greatest of amnesties.
	Brian, as seen in the J6 report, Shot asks, what video game recommendations would you have for someone who is trying to get into gaming?
	I've been enjoying Zelda Breath of the Wild and Final Fantasy IX difficulty level.
	I only have a Nintendo Switch and a crippling case of ADHD.
	My partner just downloaded a game called Dredge, and she's having a ton of fun with that.
	It is a RPG Uh, eldritch horror fishing game where you, your avatar is a little boat that you run around and you try and solve a mystery and level up your boat so you can fish up more horrors from the deep.
	So, um, I've been watching her just like that, just consume her free time.
	Man, for the Switch, I don't have any slam dunk answers for people who have ADHD.
	I mean, I have one, but I'm afraid it's Mike's and I don't want to steal Mike's answer.
	Oh no, go for it.
	And if you steal from me, then I'll just try to come up with something else.
	Well then my answer will obviously be Hades.
	You should be downloading and playing Hades.
	In fact, I'm surprised that you and us are not playing Hades right now.
	Is Slade aspiring to Switch?
	I think so, yes, but again, didn't the, like, I feel like they specified that they have ADHD, so that we don't give them like a, like a, just like Civ 6, or you know what I mean?
	Well, yeah, you said Hades, so I threw in another, I mean, Slay the Spire's another roguelike, so you're doing that.
	Yeah, but it's like card-based, isn't it?
	Am I getting you confused with something else?
	I think that's a little more cerebral than like the fast switch action gameplay of a Hades.
	How does Doom, like the newer Dooms run on the switch?
	I haven't played any of them.
	That also seems like it'd be good if you just want something to get in there and get some stuff done.
	I have no idea because I don't have a switch, so hopefully it works.
	It'll be good.
	Wow, what a bunch of clowns.
	Well, actually, no, I know Sarge has a Switch.
	What a bunch of clown, a.k.a.
	Mike Haynes.
	Now it's your time.
	You get to be baby in the corner.
	Actually, the funny thing was that Sarge stole my idea, because I was going to say Slay the Spire, because I know it's for the Switch.
	And I didn't know that Hades was for Switch.
	So I was going to say Slay the Spire because I think that he had messaged me earlier about
	turn-based games and enjoying them.
	So knowing that turn-based was something that was in his wheelhouse, I was definitely going
	to recommend Slay the Spire.
	Okay, fine.
	Yeah, so play and enjoy some Slay the Spire and relish in the fact that there are much
	better versions that came for you to explore afterwards.
	I stopped recommending Slay the Spire to people even though it was a revolution when it came
	out because now that it's spawned this whole subgenre of the card-based roguelike, I just
	don't think it's the best one anymore.
	I don't think it's even close.
	I know you love Monster Train.
	What is also on the Monster Train tier?
	I mean in terms, so for me personally, like I...
	Like, Monster Train is the best, like, specific card-based roguelike that I've played still.
	So, you know, I feel like if you're just looking for specifically that sort of trip, I think, like, Slay the Spire is a better introduction to the genre than Monster Train, and I personally had a lot more fun playing Monster Train than Slay the Spire.
	So I would still go Slay the Spire first, and then if you like that, try a Monster Train.
	Personally, the thing that hooked me the same way that Monster Train did was it ended up being Storybook Brawl, which we had touched on briefly earlier.
	That sort of got me feeling sort of the same sort of gameplay loop sensation, even though it's a different style of game and it's competitive against other people.
	So, but that game, for as long as it still exists, is cheap as free.
	So if you have a PC, even a crappy PC, that can play a game, I highly recommend Straight Rift Brawl.
	Yeah, I know Monster Train's on the iPad now.
	I don't know if it's on the Switch.
	Yeah, I don't think it is, which is why I hadn't mentioned it.
	Yeah.
	But if you like turn-based games and Then the Advance Wars 1 and 2 re-release I think is actually out now.
	That's a classic GBA-era turn-based tactical game that I can recommend.
	It was fun as shit back in the day.
	Yeah, the Switch is great for turn-based games.
	Like, you know, there's Through the Breach or whatever it was called.
	Oh yeah, Through the Breach.
	It's one that's pretty divisive, but I hear that the people that like it really like it.
	Any of the Advanced War style games, the Tactics Ogre style games or whatever, they're making remakes of a lot of this stuff too.
	Oh yeah, Tactics Ogre Reborn is very fun.
	Oh, Tacky Ogie?
	Yeah, I've been playing that on the Switch.
	When I'm not painting.
	My hobby is very much running grooves, and I'm in a painting groove right now, so I'm not doing much else.
	Well, there we go.
	A diverse assortment of recommendations.
	Yep.
	So, final question, as always, is what are you guys looking forward to?
	Oh, did I just place the Domino's order?
	I'm going to slam this greasy pie into my face while I finish my laundry and enjoy the rest of my day off.
	It's gonna be good stuff.
	I don't actually have much planned this week.
	At some point I will probably end up seeing the Mario movie.
	Oh, I guess I'm excited that the Dungeons & Dragons movie was a fun and decent time.
	Like, it wasn't, you know, it's not winning any Oscars or whatever, but it definitely cleared my bar of 7 out of 10 moviegoing experience, so.
	Yeah, it was super fun.
	That is exciting.
	And then I have a new D&D campaign in the works, but that doesn't start for another three weeks.
	So it seems a little premature to spend my excitement on it now.
	I'll catch that shipping later.
	So for now, Domino's gets it.
	Way to go, Domino's.
	Way to be available and have me in your loyalty program system so that I had a free pizza to redeem.
	Yeah, free pizza, and you don't have to make it, that triggers so many different taste palette possibilities.
	The Japanese are going to have to make up seven new words for that.
	Yeah, and they could also make up a word if they don't already have one for being tricked in the way where I'm just like, yeah, they were offering me a free pizza, so I spent $30, and in addition to the other stuff I got, a free pizza will be there!
	Of course!
	What about you, Sarge?
	What are you looking forward to?
	You know what?
	I watched the breakdown of the anime, that is, animes that are new IPs that are coming out this season, and I watched the first episode of the number one recommendation, Hell's Paradise, and I'm looking forward to more Hell's Paradise!
	It's got Brutal, violent, ninja murder, and body horror, and just a lot of great things.
	And it looks amazing.
	It's Studio MAPPA.
	So I'm looking forward to some more Hell's Paradise.
	That shit is very good.
	I am looking forward to more Taskmaster, because finally the new season has come out.
	Yep, I saw episode one.
	Enjoying the new cast.
	Always that question of how's the new cast going to perform, and they seem up to the task.
	My god, I didn't know it had started.
	And it's hot and fresh enough where I should be able to pirate it on YouTube before they start taking it down.
	Yes, yes.
	Yep.
	Episode one, I think, was last Thursday.
	So yeah, they're broadcasting live in jolly old Britain on Thursdays, and I usually can find a way to watch them by Sunday or so.
	So I get to enjoy all that good stuff.
	and also basking in the tears of all wrestling fans as they sob uncontrollably.
	Now that Vince McMahon's dumb, incompetent ass has reclaimed control of his company
	and he's gonna run it right into the ground.
	So my shot and Freud from that is delightful.
	You people thought he was ever not gonna ruin your fucking beloved pastime.
	Yep, you're wrong.
	So tough break everybody.
	Enjoy all of that WWE fans.
	It is truly the worst.
	Bye.
	That's our contractual obligated talking about wrestling on the podcast?
	Yeah, it's bound to happen at some point.
	We almost got there, but Mike came through to bail us out there at our time of need at the very end.
	We had books hitting wrestling finishing moves on each other five minutes ago!
	Those could have easily have been anime-style moves.
	Yeah.
	We were talking about backbreakers.
	Yeah, well, and it's at a cage fight, but it could have been like Bucky the Grappler or whatever.
	That's only sort of like wrestling, but it's also sort of like anime, so it's sort of like a lot of things.
	Anyways, that's going to do it for our show for the week.
	Thank you so much for listening and supporting us.
	If you'd like to continue to support us for free, you can do so by giving us a five-star review or telling a friend who might be interested in our inane banter.
	If you have money and you want to donate it to us, we're happy to take it.
	You can visit us at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where your donation of $5 or more a month gets access to 40 plus hours of our back content of bonus stuff, including Kabalin, What We Do Out of Shadows, Mule's Errand, and it will also get you access to whatever bonus content we produce in the future.
	But you can donate less than $5 a month if you'd like to.
	Thank you to this week's new beautifler baby, Anthony C. Welcome to the crib!
	Is that a thing that I can establish?
	Does that feel good on the tongue or the mind?
	Welcome to the crib?
	You see, because it's got sort of like the two... We'll workshop it.
	Anyway, welcome to the crib, Anthony C., our newest, beautifuller baby.
	If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, you can do some good with it by donating it to love146.org.
	They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
	And they won't talk about the kids' genitals even a little.
	Thanks, as always, to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
	Still no social media for them, but our buddy Frosty, good ol' reliable Frosty, our voiceover artist friend, is on Twitter, at FrostyVO, if you'd like to go check them out and be like, hey, we like Adventures of Hellworld, and they talk about you, so we like you, too, because apparently you are a pretty cool guy, which he is.
	You can find the show on Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. Me on Twitter, at HellworldL, with Hellworld spelled the same way.
	Sarge, at SargenHell, and of course, Mike is at PokerPolitics.
	So if you ever want to get in touch with us, that's the place to do it.
	That's also where we solicit our mailbag questions, the show proper, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an M. So for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as sometimes like a double rainbow, the Mysterious Sarge, and our expert at all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.

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