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April 13, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:37:26
Adventures In HellwQrld Episode #135: Trump, Elon, MTG, Daily Beast

This week we chronical the mental decline in Trump and Elon while also covering the MTG/Loomer dispute and we look at the Daily Beast getting played by a StewAnon troll. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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You You
You You
Content Warning The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
That's me.
Late start because I had to get a bee out of my condo.
That will happen every now and then in the mysterious hell.
I love me a beautiful baby!
Gunning for your spot in the Mario sequel?
I think it's possible.
It's me, Mario!
Now get out of my restaurant because you're a colored person!
Yeah, I know.
Racist Mario.
I hate immigrants!
I've been trying to trick you into saying racist stuff on the pod for years now.
I need to be in a character, like racist Mario.
New character for the show, Racist Mario.
Thank God!
The Hellworld Cinematic Universe grows every week.
It's incredible.
It's been a weird week for all of us, so I think we're all a little bit loopy.
Why don't I start off the podcast all willy-nilly?
I did see that Mario Brothers movie yesterday.
I agree with all the criticisms, but also all the people criticizing it are idiots, because what were they expecting?
Like, oh yeah, this animated Mario Brothers movie by iLumination isn't like a deep, introspective character journey.
It's like, no, it's pretty much based on the plot of the video games, except instead of the princess being trapped in a castle, it's Luigi.
And then, like, aside from that, it's like the same thing, though.
It's like Mario has to squash turtles or whatever to save somebody who's trapped in a castle.
That's always been the storyline, so I don't understand why people are flipping their shit.
It's never been exceedingly deep, either.
Even in the 3D one recently, where no one was kidnapped, it was just Bowser invading, so Mario and his friends had to team up to fight him.
Hey, get the fuck outta my city, big turtle!
Get the fuck outta here!
That's what people wanted out of the Mario movie.
Because Mario's got a rival in this movie.
The Mario Brothers plumbing business has a rival.
It's not important to the movie, so it doesn't really count as a spoiler.
And it's just like, that guy, he's not as authentically New York Italian as I'd like.
I hope when he gets up in Mario's face, he'll be like, Hey!
I'll fucking break your teeth there, kid!
Get the fuck out of my face with your stupid Mario plumber shit!
How dare you!
I'll fucking kill you!
That would've been just so awesome if people were like, why is the Mario Brothers movie rated R?
And it's just because that guy is just so profane.
They just had to slap an R rating on it.
What is it?
Was this 2002?
We won Hard R Mario?
That's what everyone was pushing for in the early 2000s.
Hey, I know your fucking mother's embarrassed of you because she talks in her sleep, am I right?
Get the fuck outta here, Mario!
But then he gets to the Mushroom Kingdom and it's all like, woohoo, yah, Yoshi, yah, woo!
Everybody wants a Joker, but like Mario.
They just want a movie called Mario, but it's like the hard R version.
But the Joker.
Joaquin Phoenix playing an Italian dada who's a plumber with mental troubles.
Princess Peach is a hallucination.
She's not real.
I mean, we still try and do that, but man, I feel like the golden era for that was like the mid-2000s.
Everybody wanted to do the dark, hard R version of everything.
Or was it a little later?
I know they had that really dark like Power Rangers fan film and everyone had all those terrible fan theories like the Rugrats but super depressing.
They're all dead.
Whatever era of imagination that was, I hated it.
I wonder if that's just kind of a generational thing where you're just, when you hit your edgelord phase and you just can't, you just can't let things be things.
Things now have to be grittier and darker and more like, just, it can't be fun for fun's sake.
It has to have like a bitter social commentary strapped on the top of it.
Well, now there's also the trend of just like, Hard, but also, like, realistic.
Like, marriage story, or whatever it was.
Or, like, the one where, you know, fuckin' Kylo Ren is getting divorced from Scarlett Johansson.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just people yelling at each other in, like, a room for a while.
So it'd just be like, my brother would just be like, Fight the ape!
Why should I fight the fuckin' ape?
Call the fuckin' animal control to fight the ape.
Now get in the kitchen!
I mean, I don't know what the fuckin' ape... I don't care about the ape.
Fuck outta here.
People in a dark car, just raging outside of the window, just drank downtown beer.
Hey, my fuckin' problem, I'm a fuckin' plumber!
What the fuckin' tax dollars at work over here?
Animal control, good deal of ape.
Oh man, I always wanted Mario as Tony Soprano.
That's been the dream, and now it's finally realized.
It's happening.
Yeah, I can't wait for our C and D from Nintendo.
It's gonna be great.
I mean, there's a non-zero chance they are quick on those.
Like, if ever there was a company, Can we harass Disney?
Because, man, if we went after Nintendo and Disney, maybe we could finally have some massive corporate giant turn their gaze upon us.
They've got bigger fish to fry.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe they'll be the one to cut us a check, because by the time Elon Musk gets around to giving us $1 billion for not mentioning his deformed penis anymore, he'll be out of money.
He won't be able to actually cover it.
No, probably not.
Speaking of which, look at that subtle segue.
I guess it's time for us to get into our amuse-bouche-y.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
It's-a me, Amuse Bouchio, and it is time for us to talk about Elon Musk once again, I guess.
It wasn't supposed to be our first Boosh item, but I did the segue, so goddammit, here we are.
So Elon Musk has been on one, as he always is.
He's been doing a bunch of weird shit, so I'm just going to turn it over to Mike, and we'll go down with the important topics.
Of Elon Musk's continued, like, billionaire midlife crisis.
Mike, what's going on with Elon Musk this week?
Okay, so the first thing off the top of my head was that he edited the sign outside of Twitter's corporate offices to be Titter, because he's three years old, and Titter is hilarious to him.
Yeah, there's so many things he's doing that I can't even keep up with it anymore.
And then the city or either this either the city or the people who own the building basically told him he's not allowed to remove or block the W on Twitter so that he can have his titter sign.
So then as the giant man baby that he is, he had the W matte painted to like fit the background of the rest of the sign.
So it's hard to see it.
So he got his titter sign, but he had to work hard to achieve it.
Cause boy, that joke, it hits so hard.
You have to invest all that time and effort to achieve it.
It's, it's truly incredible.
I just wonder, all those people like Iron Man, Star Trek, Rick and Morty, I mean, I know Rick and Morty's got their own shit going on, but all of these shows that put Elon Musk either in as a guest or mentioned him as one of the visionary geniuses Of world history.
Boy, in like 20 years those shows are going to look really fucking dated.
It's going to be so... They'll be like, wow, there was a period of time where people liked Elon Musk and thought he was awesome?
That is so fucking bizarre!
Star Trek Discovery is already getting a tiny bit dragged for like the captain of their The ship that is the the main character is just like what it mentions the visionaries throughout history in the Star Trek universe and since they're like a little bit our universe he's like Elon Musk and it's back when he was just doing rockets and it's like man this hasn't aged well like
Yeah, I think Marvel got caught in that same trap.
I think that his portrait is on the wall someplace, like a line of scientists, like up there with Albert Einstein and stuff, and it's just like, ooh.
Yeah, turns out he's a fucking idiot.
Yeah.
Turns out he's a big dumb moron.
Yeah.
It is really wild.
It's so crazy that you're just richer than God.
You've achieved this level of belief in you as being a visionary.
You would think you'd just keep your mouth shut and just glide by on that reputation.
Nope!
Buying Twitter and turning into the world's richest 15-year-old just absolutely cannot help myself.
I guess if there was more, like if there was anything to be gained from it, I could see it.
You know what I mean?
Like if somehow he was making a bunch of cash on the back end or whatever, you know, because that's what billionaires like to do.
They like to get more rich.
I can see, there's definitely a niche for being the heel of billionaires, right?
Most billionaires, most hyper-rich people, are very boring.
Bezos doesn't really do anything, Richard Branson doesn't really do anything.
Every once in a while, they'll do a big dumb publicity stunt, like, hey, we're going into space!
Ooh, ah, or whatever.
But generally, they keep pretty low profiles and just accumulate billions of dollars.
I do think there's a market out there for the billionaire heel, but the problem is that Elon Musk is spending, like, so much of his capital to be the heel.
It's like, to what end?
Yeah, and he's just being an idiot.
He's doing stupid stuff.
Yeah, he's not doing anything evil, really, so much as he is, well, I mean, minorly evil, but just, like, evil by way of stupid.
Like, just saying or, like, you know, commenting on somebody's wrong take about something.
It's just, like, that is such a low level of villainy.
Like, dude, you have hundreds of billions of dollars or whatever.
If you're gonna be a shitty dude, like, go Cobra Commander style or whatever.
Yeah.
Have, like, an R&D department that's making you, like, fucking laser cannons or whatever.
He's already blowing up mad rockets and making cars that run over children.
That's pretty evil, right?
The problem is, like, the rocket thing is hard for me to dunk on him for, because of all the fingers he's got his, like, fucking shit, of all the pies he's got his fingers into, I should say, the rocket stuff is the stuff that is the most important.
So it's like, having him, like, you know, be affiliated with a company that is trying, like, really hard to make it easier for us to get into and out of space.
Like, it's hard for me to just be like, boom, get fucked, losers!
Oh, another rocket ship that couldn't manage to land!
Oh!
How dare you try to advance science, you fucking loser!
Oh, got him!
Like, I hate Elon Musk, but like, that is important work.
And he's not doing any of it.
That's a billion other scientists and engineers.
Yeah.
No, if everything I've read, he's getting in the way of it.
Like, they had to, like, have distraction things for Elon to work on anytime he showed up at the office so he wouldn't bother them about the actual rockets.
There's an argument to be made for the use case for it, but we definitely do not need that.
So when one of those things goes haywire and just starts plowing into pedestrians, then it's time for dunkings.
Because it's like, look, look, scientists and engineers responsible for this one.
I know that you're just doing your job, but in this instance, the thing you're making, like, it's fixing a problem we don't really have.
If only we had people to drive all these cars!
Yeah, I feel like the market determines how many cars are available to how many people.
In fact, during the pandemic, I remember local car dealerships advertising, We Have Stock.
That was their sales pitch.
Because of shipping madness due to COVID.
You'd just be like, Come to Jacksonville Motors!
We have cars to buy!
And people were like, Oh shit.
How decadent.
Yeah, I mean, there's going to be a huge growing pains period with self-driving cars, but once everybody has them, that's like traffic done.
All the algorithms can, like, figure that shit out and divert and everything, but that's... Yeah, but I mean, that seems like some hundred years in the future type shit right there.
Yeah, I was gonna say.
Because not only does it require... it requires the technology to get there, then it requires a cultural push to become ubiquitous.
Which just seems like... It's the same sort of struggle that all the heads-up display stuff has, right?
There's a bunch of useful stuff you could do with a set of heads-up display anything, if somebody could manage to make one that doesn't look so dorky that people refuse to wear them.
But that didn't stop Bluetooth back in the day, for the record.
Uh, but, like, the problem is, even if the technology is there, you have to do something to change the culture to make it acceptable, including changing a bunch of laws, because people are just like, wait a minute, doesn't that mean you can record me all the time?
How am I supposed to know whether or not you're recording me?
It's like, that's a fucking good call.
That's a good question, mate.
Yeah, the heads-up displays and that kind of technology, it's weird because I just, I don't, Google Glass was a thing and it was like, oh shit, then like, wait a minute, people were like, why would we want to do this?
This is, no, fuck Google Glass.
It's dumb and bad.
And that's the thing with Tesla is that it's kind of their stock price and the company is based off this like vision that Elon's the super genius who's going to get us the self-driving car and nothing he's shown us in the past decade shows any inclination that that's actually going to happen.
That Tesla is going to be the ones that actually bring us the automated car that can get the job done and Doesn't plow into the pedestrians or get into accidents or any of that and
You have, if they can't do that, then all they have is electric cars, and now every company's an electric car market, so Tesla's, like, the shiny toy nature of Tesla starts to diminish quite considerably once you're just sort of like, oh, I can get a Ford electric car or a BMW electric.
I don't need Tesla electric.
Yeah.
I feel like the actual car companies are, they got started real late, but they're, They're moving real fast.
Anyway, this has been quite the fun tangent, but aside from renaming his company, at least on the sign on the building, to Tenor, which I still don't get.
What is it?
I don't understand.
It's tits.
It's boobs.
Oh, right.
Boobs.
That's hilarious.
I love breasts.
I love big, big, voluptuous breasts on a woman.
So good.
What else has Elon been up to?
Certainly we're not just talking to him because he's been, like, petulantly changing the name of his company.
He also changed the name of his company to X. Apparently, Twitter... Which means that's all he's been doing is changing the name of his company.
Yeah, so apparently Twitter no longer actually exists.
Twitter is now part of X Corporation, and this has been his bizarre dream to turn Twitter into PayPal, plus DoorDash, plus social media, plus everything else.
But yo, Elon, Twitter isn't even Twitter anymore.
It's not even a good social media platform at this point, because you're just platforming neo-Nazis and other pieces of shit.
hemorrhaging money left and right.
Vertically integrate like some sort of crazy person and just have it be like if I see a
tweet where somebody says something about a burrito, then there's like a little button
for me to click where I could door dash a burrito to me and pay for it through PayPal.
Is that like, is that how he thinks he's finally going to squeeze money out of Twitter?
Because I don't think that's going to work.
Oh, that would be super awesome.
Like your for you tab was just literally people saying things that would then entice you into
making a purchase via Twitter.
Oh, man.
Yeah, so for all of us acute disinfo people, we're dunking on some idiot for talking about, like, doing some sort of child trafficking.
We could get a Wayfair link.
It'd be sweet.
Do you need a new cabinet from Wayfair?
Pay for it with PayPal.
Oh, man, if you get the 12-month subscription for Ivermectin, you save 30%.
Oh, God.
Customer's also bought my pillow.
Yes, yes.
Oh, God.
Man, just whatever he's trying to do is just God.
But the last thing that happened was he had an interview with the BBC Where they talked about how NPR was leaving because Elon just, again, being a petulant piss baby, labeled NPR as state-funded media, which they're really not.
They're not state-based media.
They do independent reporting.
Joe Biden isn't telling NPR what to say and what to do.
That's not how this works.
It's not like Pravda or Chinese government newspapers.
It's none of that shit.
But Elon's just like, I don't like NPR, so yeah, you're Mockingbird Media or whatever.
And I don't have anyone who can make a Mockingbird Media tag, so you're state-based media.
How do you like them apples?
And basically, from what I read from most people, from the snippets, the interviewer really didn't know what was going on.
Elon's team rolled the shit out of them.
But the most important thing Elon did in that interview, was declare that the stress of the constant criticism and
negativity that he's been receiving from Twitter is not fun and it is hurting him. Oh yeah.
Which is, guess what Elon, when you tell the troll their trolling is working on you,
you get trolled even harder.
This was... When Elon bought Twitter, literally everyone was posting the meme of Rorschach in the prison, screaming that, uh, I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me.
And that's basically what's happened to Elon.
He thought he would come in here and be like, hey everybody, I'm Elon!
Everyone loves me!
And everyone's like, you fucking suck Elon, you're a bum.
And now he's like, no I'm not!
I'm not a bum!
And it's like, nope, that's...
Welcome to the massive negativity of Twitter 24-7.
And now, whenever you want to be the main character, Elon, you get to be the main character because you bought the fucking place.
So if you want to do some dumb shit and get attention, it's all you.
It's all yours whenever you want it.
Whenever you want everyone yelling at you and calling you a dumb piece of shit, You paid $44 billion for that honor, for that right.
Also, God, again, I just can't stress it enough, but fuck Grimes.
She opted into having a bunch of unprotected sex with this guy.
Are you kidding me?
And unlike a lot of his other people, she was already famous and wealthy, so she didn't need to be in it for any amount of money or security.
And like, yeah, somehow just seduced by this guy.
Are you fucking kidding me?
God, like, man.
The rich truly do just live in a different universe than the rest of us.
It's like, I could have my choice of any rich guy, but this weird edgelord who's like borderline a Nazi, he speaks to me.
He is my muse.
I wish to have his children.
For the record, it obviously just isn't a money phenomenon.
I feel like we've all been at a party or social event where you could see someone is hitting on another person by just spouting a bunch of gibberish, usually fake philosophical gibberish or fake intellectual gibberish, and then you're just like, oh my god, it's kind of working.
What world am I in where this is kind of happening?
How is this going down like this?
This is crazy!
He's not saying anything!
He's telling you the plot of the Matrix!
What is going on?
Yeah, meanwhile on Twitter he also labeled a bunch of accounts as state media.
Then he got a bunch of pushback and changed it to state funded media.
Like that means anything?
And among them was NPR and the BBC.
NPR has left Twitter because he wouldn't like correct it. And people are treating that like a
headline but Twitter's such a damaged goods right now that I'm not actually sure if it is. Yeah. It's just it's
just like oh it's like oh NPR the longest set of string of people and or entities deciding
that Twitter's just not worth fucking with anymore. It might be like saying Twitter has left Gab.
It's like, really?
Oh my God, I'm so shocked.
People don't want to do business with these absolute scumbags.
Guys, I'm here to break the news.
NPR no longer on Rumble.
They're leaving.
They're like, we need Rumble.
I'm definitely ready for whatever comes after Twitter.
Yeah.
Oh, so, and what may have come after Twitter is a substack creating notes,
which is basically a Twitter, a form of Twitter on substack.
And Elon responded to this by being a giant piss baby again, and, uh, blocking
and deactive making it so you couldn't, you couldn't access tweets that had
substack links in them and just doing everything he could to try to like, just
crush substacks intrusion upon his market, which led to a lot of fun because, uh,
busk lapdog and Twitter files creator, Matt Talibi, uh, he's hardcore into
That's where he gets all his money, because he gets all the paid subs on Substack.
And he basically went to Elon and was like, yo, Elon, I'm your boy.
You gave me all that shit for the Twitter files that I then lied and told Congress you didn't.
They were like, who's your source?
He's like, I don't know.
I ain't divulging.
What are you doing with Substack?
And Elon ghosted him.
Elon would not talk to him about the whole Substack thing.
At which point, Telebee was like, well, then I'm done with Twitter if you guys are going to fuck with my Substack because this is bullshit.
And then one thing led to another, and Elon posted DMs between him and Talibi, where they were, like, hashing it out over this whole, uh, substack kerfluffle.
And... And also on that BBC interview where Elon admitted the trolling is working, the Twitter files are now no more.
There will be no more Twitter files.
Yeah, he buried them.
Yeah, Taibi is just like, what?
I don't understand.
Why was I betrayed by Elon Musk?
And it's just like...
What did you think was gonna happen?
Also, if I saw those messages right, wasn't Elon Musk, like, didn't he not even have the sack to own up to what he was doing?
Yes!
He's just like, I don't know what's going on, I'll run it up the flagpole and look into it tomorrow, bro, totally.
I'll see what's happening.
It's such a weird glitch that it's just all of a sudden targeted, destroying, sub-stack links.
Yeah.
It's so random.
Yeah, who knew?
Who knew?
But then you've got the people who are coming to Elon's defense, because of course they are, they're just being like, Guys, the new Twitter TOS, you know it says that you can't use Twitter just to promote a different social media platform or whatever, so they're well within their rights to destroy all the subset stuff and fuck you, that's why.
It's like, yeah, sure, but just because they can't do it doesn't mean it's a good move.
All it's going to do is keep more, it's going to disenfranchise people even further, and they're just going to keep leaving Twitter.
Yeah.
Right.
And also, I would love, like personally, I would love to go to a place like Substack, where if people liked the stuff I was typing out to them, they could pay me money.
Directly.
Right.
That sounds like a pretty good way to do that.
Right, like this is the thing, like Elon's talking about all this stuff.
On Substack, you just literally have to hit a button and you can monetize.
On Twitter, if you want to monetize your Twitter, you have to submit your Twitter account for approval.
And I did that, like, I don't know, two years ago, long before Elon even bought it.
And they were like, we'll get back to you.
And I still look at my Twitter even now, and they're like, yeah, we're still Your monetization option is still pending.
I can go on Substack right now and put a paid subscription option on my Substack, and I could do that.
So it's like, if you're trying to make money off social media, Twitter blows for that option, whereas Substack does not blow.
Substack is actually good.
So Trying to keep people away from the monetization platform when you don't offer it yourself seems like the most incredible losing battle of all losing battles.
It's like, oh, you're going to run me off to the platform where I can make money?
What a tough call this is!
Holy shit!
It's part of how, I mean, it used to be hard to get monetized on YouTube, but that's how a lot of people ended up there.
They had paths to monetization.
Yeah, I mean, like, the idea of a substack, like, sort of model where you can, like, you know, effectively tweet to a large audience for free and then just be like, hey, if you like what I could do with, like, 250 characters, bud, imagine what I could do with an unlimited amount of ink.
Like, give me some money and here my long form, like, stuff.
I'll tell you why the Speed Racer movie secretly sucks, no matter what people tell you these days.
On that we disagree.
I know.
I said that honestly for you.
I don't have to stand here for this abuse.
But we could debate that!
We could debate that on the sub stack.
In text form.
It is way too long.
And you can sign up for $7.99 a month to find out why Speed Racer may be good or bad.
You can get both Sarge and El's take on that.
It's gonna be incredible.
The problem is, to take people's money, I feel like I would be on the hook to commit to doing content.
To making content.
Which is just so impossible at the moment.
Which is funny, because I know people who are way busier than I am that manage to get it done, but I don't know.
I guess I'm just a big stupid loser.
Anyway, speaking of big stupid losers, let's be done talking about Elon Musk for the week.
We'll get back to him next week.
He'll be back next week, don't you worry.
But we have other big stupid losers to talk about.
And this week, somebody who... I didn't think we were going to be getting big headlines about... What's her first name?
Laura?
Or Lauren?
Lumer?
Laura Lumer!
She's coming and she's running out to the ring like the ultimate warrior, demanding our attention.
And she's bringing a bunch of catty infighting with her.
So Mike, remind the folks, who the fuck is Laura Lumer and why are we talking about her this week?
So, Laura Loomer is a right-wing grifter.
She is a conspiracy theorist.
She's done work with InfoWars.
She's aggressively anti-Muslim.
She is an attention seeker of the highest levels.
She was one of those clowns who, like, Crash the performances of Julius Caesar when Caesar was being portrayed by Donald Trump and his assassination scene was Trump being assassinated.
This was the same theater troupe that did it with Obama when Obama was president.
And again, the moral of Julius Caesar is assassinating the leader because you think that was going to fix things is wrong and bad because those guys lost.
And then Caesar's kid became a dictator and killed them all and ruled Rome with an iron fist.
History.
Look, you can't expect them to pay attention, read, listen to, or know what that play is about.
History.
They just hate it.
They just hate it because Trump is about to get shivved or whatever.
Right, exactly.
They see their orange god about to be shivved on stage and it makes them sad, even though
if they'd shown up a couple years previously, they would have seen their hated Kenyan usurper
also suffer the knife, and they probably would have roared of approval had they watched that.
But so, so she's done all this shit.
She handcuffed herself to one door at Twitter's headquarters back in the day, and people just went around her and used the other door to get in and out, and then after a few hours, cops unhandcuffed her and she left.
And she's unsuccessfully run for Congress a couple times.
The last time, in 2022, she ran in an incredibly red district, where basically she was trying to Marjorie Taylor Greene that shit, where if she won the Republican primary, she was going to win the general, because no shot.
These people were going to vote for a Democrat, even when their Republican option was Laura Loomer.
But she did lose to the incumbent Republicans, so that dream failed.
So Loomer, rumor has it, is that Trump wants her on the 24 campaign.
And this led to a lot of people freaking out because again, she's terrible and a lightning rod for controversy.
And of all people, of all people, Marjorie Taylor Greene came out with a tweet that said, Laura Loomer is mentally unstable and a documented liar.
She cannot be trusted.
Note, there's definitely audio of her saying, We need Laura Loomer!
Vote for Laura Loomer!
McCarthy for Speaker and after I had refused to endorse her in the last election cycle.
Note there's definitely a phone, there's definitely audio of her saying,
we need Laura Loomer, vote for Laura Loomer. So Marjorie was definitely on the Loomer train
before she was not on the Loomer train. She loves the alleged FBI informant and weirdo Nick Fuentes.
Oh, take that, Fuentes!
You're a fed!
Boom.
That's her attack on Nick Fuentes.
Not Holocaust denier.
Not virulent racist and white supremacist.
No.
He's a snitch.
I just love the things Republicans think are bad and the things they ignore that are actually really bad.
And then finally, she tried to get hired on the Ye campaign.
Again, not going to bring up the anti-Semitism there.
That's all fucking Ye is known for now.
After the infamous Mar-a-Lago dinner, but Kanye West refused to hire her, so now she's running to Trump.
Never hire or do business with a liar.
Liars are toxic and poisonous to everything they touch.
I'll make sure he knows.
So Marjorie is going to snitch to Trump that Loomer is bad news and he needs to stay far away.
So I saw, did this escalate into some spicy Twitter drama?
Did some fellow show up to start white knighting for Laura Loomer?
Oh yeah, there's all kinds of comments both ways.
But this is like a specific guy, right?
It was like Ali something, Ali... Oh, Ali Alexander.
He's the stop-the-steal guy.
He was the guy who got the actual permit.
He basically lied about the size of the crowd they were supposed to be getting, but he got one of the permits for January 6th for the protests.
Right. And so and Ali is also an info warrior. He works with Alex Jones. So of course, he's going to have Loomers
back. Of course, he's going to be on team Loomer in this situation because their work partners,
They shared blood, sweat, and tears on the InfoWars desk lying about the world so that Alex can sell his water filters and dick pills.
Okay, so what do you, Mike Rains, think the odds are that Trump chooses Laura Luber as his VP pick?
Ah, Vice President, oh my God.
I don't think that's even possible.
I don't think that she rates that high in Trump's inner circle or in Trump's bizarre little brain.
Is that not what the rumbly-dumbly is over this?
Because doesn't MTG think that she's going to get that spot?
I seem to remember hearing, and again, of the three of us I'm the most disconnected from all of this, but I seem to remember hearing at one point that somebody had convinced Trump that picking a woman was a good idea for his VP pick, which got MTG salivating, because she's just like, hey!
I'm like, one of the most visible...
Like, you know, cisgendered women, because I don't believe trans people exist, and if they do, I think they should be killed, and so I have to be that pick, right?
But then here comes Laura Luber, again, running to the rig, like the Ultimate Warrior.
Just when you think you're safe, oh, the Ultimate Warrior, come!
And she's supposed to be sliding in, like, the rumors that I've been seeing is that people think she's trying to position herself.
To be Trump's token lady vice presidential pick.
That would be incredible in this, because man, she would once again be a reason why I would get interviews from the New York Times if Loomer was the VP pick.
If Loomer is even a public face of the campaign, I mean, oh my god, it's such a bad look.
Because she is just such a reprehensible sack of shit.
Well, okay, so in that case, we all know that Donald Trump is a super hyper-aware genius with massive hands and that he's playing fifth-dimensional chess.
So, assuming that he thinks that he cannot win an election, do we think that he's 5D-chessing it and he's just like, if I choose a poison pill as my VP candidate, I can lose and just chalk it up to my VP candidate being some sort of horrible monster and be able to sort of wash my hands from it?
If that's the case, then Luber would be a great choice.
She's somehow more reprehensible than MTG.
That would be incredible, man.
If Trump actually had it in him to come up with a way to excuse his defeat ahead of time, that would be perfect.
But the thing is, he's created so many excuses already.
We've got the fake media, we've got the mail-in ballots from the mules.
Oh, but that just means that he loves excuses.
He can't wait to stack up excuses.
He's happy to have, like, throw another excuse on the fire, man.
You know, he can't wait.
It's plausible.
It's absolutely plausible, and that would be hilarious.
Because we all know that he's a genius, and it's certainly not the fact that the sad reality is that if he chose, somehow, Luber to be his VP candidate, it would be because he's just, like, an actual moron.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
He is, uh, yeah, Trump himself.
And I will, let's, let's go to Trump shit.
Let's smoothly segue to that whole thing.
Cause that we're talking about our beloved orange boy.
Uh, that's a headline.
So that's going to require a biggity, biggity bump.
Oh, right.
I got to do that thing where I play the bump.
Oh man.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Boom.
The headline number one Trump shit, boo, hiss.
This is the only segue they have to talk about this fucking cloud every week until
he or we die.
Well I think actually it'll probably be after the 2024 election when he actually loses his
juice.
I will, much like Tucker Carlson, have the doe-eyed, fantastical belief that after this election we won't have to talk to him about him anymore.
Which was what Tucker was saying, like right before January 6th.
He's like, Oh man, once Biden gets sworn in, Trump's yesterday's news.
And we're all free of that ogre moron.
Smash cut to Tucker having to do an interview with Trump this week.
And whole, it is incredible to me.
Every Trump media appearance is just wilder and more out of control than the previous one.
The man is.
Whatever marbles he had previously, they're rapidly leaving his brain.
He is a marbleless moron.
It is wild, the conversations he has.
In his defense, he can basically say anything and suffer no consequences.
That's the thing that's so awesome, is you just listen to this guy talk, and then you just look at Trump supporters and you're like, listen to this fucking idiot, and they're like, yeah.
Telling it like it is.
Saying what needs to be said.
Trump.
He's talking about dogs in Afghanistan.
What do you mean what he's talking about?
He just gets on these streams of consciousness where he forgets what the last sentence was.
He basically He says a sentence.
He says another sentence in context to the first sentence.
He forgets what the first sentence was and only remembers the second sentence.
Now we're just off to the races from the second sentence on.
Because he was just like, yeah, Biden did a terrible job of that withdrawal in Afghanistan.
It was awful.
He left our troops there.
He left all these dogs there.
All these poor dogs, they were all abandoned.
And then people would ask me, they'd come up to me and say, Donald, what happened to all those dogs in Afghanistan when we left?
And I know that I saw lots of headlines after our withdrawal from Afghanistan about the dogs.
It was just America's great topic.
What happened to the dogs of Afghanistan after America left?
Yeah, they were just like, is it true that the dogs were let loose into the desert wilderness?
And he was just like, I don't know that.
And then they were just like, Donald Trump, who let the dogs out?
Genuinely, what the fuck is he talking about?
We definitely brought all our military dogs back, like... Or did we?
Yeah.
Big if true.
Big if true.
I love the idea that, like, soldiers who have just been working with these, like, canine companions or whatever for, like, years are just gonna be like, okay, well, alright, buddy, just hop in this thing.
Yeah.
Can't you see we don't watch it anymore?
Famously, there's a stupid, like, Hallmark movie about how this one soldier got a bill passed so that the soldiers that care for the military dogs get first right to adopt them when they're retired.
Like, it's a law.
Well, yeah, but that's only for the soldiers who don't choose to release them into the Afghan waters.
Yeah, who set them loose.
And then they become like Afghan hounds.
That's how we got Afghan hounds.
You were empowered to make the decision yourself.
It's part of your military training.
What the fuck?
I hadn't heard him ramble on about dogs.
I try not to listen to anything Trump says.
So.
Honestly, the thing is, is that like, I have become a connoisseur of Trump media in the last like few months because it's just, um, Everyone, I would say from 2020 on, basically, there were all these people that were doing this blue and on conspiracy bullshit about how Trump's got crumpling dementia and he'll be in a nursing home in a couple months and don't you worry.
The orange monster won't hurt us anymore.
And there were guys out there that were like, Trump isn't even going to make it through the 2020 election.
He can't handle it.
His dementia is too intense.
And now it's 2023 and they're like, oh, that dementia, it's getting to him.
But the thing is, is that he really is becoming less cognitively aware as things go on.
Like just the way he talks is just so bizarre.
And the videos that he does that get posted on Truth Social from the Trump 2024 campaign, he had that one where he literally was like, hey, I passed this farm bill so that when you die, you can give your kids their farm.
Unless you hate your kids, then fuck them.
Don't get on the farm.
That was a weird one.
The fact that they kept that and, and they, and they have these videos where he
just goes on these rants and then the video just ends out of nowhere.
And then there are videos where that shit happens and there's cuts.
So literally they got like five minutes and they're like, fuck, we can use 90
seconds of this, and even that is really dicey.
And then some, like Jared or someone in the campaigns, like Trump wants
the video up by seven o'clock.
Post a video.
And they're like, fuck.
Okay, great.
Here's 90 seconds.
I hope he's happy.
And like the last 45 seconds are Trump just basically being Grandpa Simpson talking about, back in my day, we would say five B's for a quarter and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then the Trump 2024 campaign swoosh comes flying in to get him off screen as quickly as possible.
Did you see his incredible Happy Easter message?
All caps, HAPPY EASTER TRUTH.
It was so great.
He was just like, HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE!
EVEN THOSE LIE AND CHEATING DEMOCRATS WHO TOTALLY STOLE THE ELECTION!
It was so great.
He just ramps up to the same bullshit.
Every holiday, it's gonna be like, Happy Arbor Day to everyone, but especially to AOC, who I hate because she's a liberal, and liberals are bad for the following reasons.
It's just like, wow, what a lunatic.
On Easter, he truthed out World War III.
No context, just literally.
Yeah, I saw that one.
World War III.
Yeah, happy rise of the Messiah and the literal reason why we have Christianity, the greatest religion in the world.
I, Donald Trump, believe in Christianity totally.
I'm a deeply Christian man.
The Bible is my favorite book, but please don't ask me what my favorite part is because all I will be able to say is all of it.
All of it.
It's all just such a great book.
It's just... How can you only choose one part?
Because they're just like, no, like if I had to press you to say name even a single part of the Bible, what would you say?
It's just like, I would say that the whole thing is great.
He likes the part where a daughter sleeps with a father.
I do.
He's like, yeah, yeah.
The part after Lot escapes fucking Sodom and Gomorrah.
He's like, that part is real juicy.
Big fan.
Yeah.
I extracted the wilderness with Justin's daughter and they have to repopulate the earth somehow?
What a heroic story.
My favorite part of that is just the comparison.
You have all these Jesus freaks who are like, Trump, the man of God, all this stuff.
Joe Biden is the most religious president we've had in a dog's age.
Like, that dude is in church every Sunday.
He had the ash on his forehead for Ash Wednesday because he's a practicing Catholic.
I mean, like, Joe Biden is a guy that is, like, literally, like, hardcore, takes the Bible to heart.
Irish Catholic.
And these people are like, Joe Biden, monstrous pedophile, godless heathen, lover of Satan, Donald Trump, who couldn't name a Bible passage that gave him a billion dollars, man of Jesus.
Actual, actual, the lineage of the prophets goes Jesus, then Trump.
That's just the way this works.
God works through imperfect men.
They love saying that.
That's one of their favorite things to defend Trump is God works through imperfect men.
So yeah.
And they're just like, oh wow, well then Jesus must have been very imperfect.
Yeah.
And then they start beating you.
They start beating you about the head and face.
How dare you talk about our muscular white lord!
Then smoke comes out of their ears and they just keep saying, does not compute.
Does not compute.
One QAnon promoter I saw this week had a thing where he was like, Jesus was not brown and he was not Jewish.
Do not buy into Jewish propaganda.
It had links to shit.
And it's like, Jesus was Middle Eastern.
He was brown.
That's how that works.
The environment dictates your skin color and people in the Middle East are brown.
Because if they're not, they get skin cancer and they die very quickly.
Because white skin doesn't work out there.
It's no bueno.
But if you're the son of God, then obviously you would be white.
Obviously you would be white if you're the son of God.
You're supposed to look like your father.
Your father is God.
God is clearly white.
Christian God looks weirdly like Zeus.
Don't talk about it.
He's just got all the hyper-masculine traits of being Caucasian and male and having a big white bushy beard!
A great big bushy beard!
And, you know, floating on a cloud with some lightning bolts or whatever.
This Zeus comparison is really out of pocket.
Going on a real limb there, Sarge.
That's quite a reach.
I'm not sure if I'm buying this shit.
Yeah, Sarge, I don't know if you've seen people from Greece, but they're not white.
I mean, get out of here.
It's crazy for you to assume that that would be.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So beyond that, then Trump also in these interviews mentioned that there are two n-words you can't say and then somehow used the word nuclear to describe one of those n-words.
Wow!
I did see a bold headline that simply quoted Trump as saying, it was like paraphrasing or whatever, probably not quoting, but it was just like, I think nuclear is the N-word.
And I was just like, that's not your call, mate.
You were allowed to factually point out that it is.
A N word?
Yeah.
It is one of the words that begins with N. Very good job on identifying that that word starts with an N. That's good.
Yeah, I mean, the speak and spell lessons have really paid off, but the capital T, the N word, is spoken for, mate.
Yeah, we've covered that.
Like, yeah, I'm the new Chicago Bulls number 23.
How's it going?
And it's just like, no, you're not though.
But you're not that funny.
But that's not you, Fred.
So the thing about that is that's really funny in the dark sense is the man who indicted him in New York, Alvin Bragg, is black.
So I just wonder, there has to be this thing in the back of his head where he's like, I really want to say that about Bragg.
I really want to hit him with it.
But they're telling me I'm not allowed to.
Well, I guess I'm going to talk about the N-word being nuclear, but... So, man, there's just going to be a day where he's just on so many drugs.
The Adderall sniff is back, and it is more powerful than ever.
He's just going to be on a Stemwinder on the trail, and he's going to bring up Alvin Bragg, and it's going to be one of those moments where all his campaign aides are going to be like, don't do it!
Don't do it!
Because if he ever did actually say it, oh man, would that crowd be happy.
Oh man!
Oh God, I love it.
I mean, it would certainly be a nuclear-level disaster for him politically.
Like, I don't even think that he could get away from that one.
But he certainly does love playing with fire right now.
He's just like, you know what I'm going to do to really spice up my talking points?
I'm going to start flirting with the idea of using the n-word, kind of.
And it's just like, don't do that.
No, don't do that.
No, no, don't do that.
There's like some Republican bigwig, it's like Donald.
You're hard capped at like 46% of the electorate.
That's what you got against Hillary, the Electoral College gave you a W. That's what you got against Biden, and the Electoral College told you to fuck off and die.
So you're hard capped at like 46%, so you're probably gonna lose.
But we would like to have a chance to win the Senate and maybe hold the House.
Please do not actually use the N-word and crush the Republican Party by labeling us as the party of open and proud racists.
Do not make Ted Cruz and the rest of us have to defend the fact that you just said that at a rally.
And Trump's just sort of like, but what if I did say it?
No, no, no, Trump.
Hi, Mysterious Al here.
I'll field this one for you.
Look, Mr. Trump, or can I call you Don?
Look, Don.
As a Caucasian fan of hip-hop music, who at one point was between the ages of 12 and 19, I can tell you that you get really excited when you start hearing, like, if I pronounce the word ninja correctly, I can sort of get close enough to the goli without stepping over it.
And that's a very exciting time, because that word that you can't say comes up a lot.
But I am here to tell you, from personal experience, because we have all made this mistake, you do not want to go down that rabbit hole, mate.
There's no reason to play with that fire.
Leave that fire alone.
That fire is not for you.
That is a different person's fire.
It's not worth it.
Yeah, it is not worth it at all.
I recommend Fellow, and don't put any stank on it either.
Fellow, with a hard W, because you can never mistake that word for anything else that's out of pocket, and it makes you sound like a proper gentleman when you're rapping along to your favorite songs.
Yeah, so he's doing all of that.
Sorry to interrupt.
I want to see him get out there, and I want him to be like, there are two F-words.
And I'm just like, dude, I can get behind that.
Yes.
There are three F-words.
I don't want you to say any of them.
So that all happened, and previous to that, he had an interview with Sean Hannity, where Hannity was literally talking to him and trying to give him the talking points about what to say and do vis-a-vis these documents.
And Hannity was like, you're not the kind of guy that would take these documents, right?
And Trump was like, absolutely, I have the right to take the documents.
Boom.
Those documents, fuck yeah!
And Hannity was like, let's move along.
You are literally implicating yourself in crimes.
The prosecutors can literally play this tape to a jury during your trial because this is a... I'm trying to help you and you're just stepping in, like, I'm literally like throwing a coat over the shit and then you're ripping the coat away and then stomping down on the shit.
It's like, what is wrong with you?
Oh my god!
It's gotta be so horrifying to be Republican leadership and just knowing that your fortunes are tied to this absolute drooling moron that's just running around like a three-year-old with a fork and just a wall of electrical outlets all around them.
And it's just like, Well, Timmy's eventually gonna cook himself at some point.
We just have to hope it's after the election, maybe, I mean.
Yeah, but I mean, you also get to, like, you know, sort of relish in the bliss that you only have to deal with it for 12 more months or whatever, right?
Like, it just, it really is incredible to me that Ron DeSantis, everyone's like, oh, Ron DeSantis, the Republican hope, the next champion of Republican politics.
He's Trumpism without the Trump.
He can attack the woke people, but do it in a smart, like, devastating manner where he understands the system and knows how to work things.
And he's smoother and more polished.
And literally he's someone, it's a, it's a poll I saw on truth.
So I don't take it with any real reality, but like Trump was had like 53% of the primary vote and head to head with DeSantis.
It was like 65, 35.
And it's just like, Oh my God.
Um.
I had myself a beat there.
That's what we call a tainted sample group.
Oh, it is!
But it was like, they grabbed, it wasn't their pull, it was like from some group.
It could have been Rasmussen or something, but I don't know where it came from.
I don't know where they sourced it, but they did have it.
So, like, that was happening, and it's just...
I just cannot believe the Republicans don't have another option.
This is their boy, and they're stuck.
They're just 100% cooked with this idiot, and it's just magical.
And Bill Barr even was like, yeah, when the federal indictments come down for those documents and we see that evidence, probably going to hurt him in the general election.
It already is from what I've seen.
He's like, there are still undecided voters out there.
I don't know how.
And it turns out every time he gets indicted, it polls poorly with undecideds.
Okay, I have to stop you guys there for a moment just to address the elephant in the room.
Like, in case the audience can hear it, because I can.
Is there somebody chainsawing in the background of one of your houses?
There's a bunch of guys working with buzz saws in the condo, like, two down from me.
That's why I keep muting it.
I'm muting myself.
No, that's fine.
I had heard it, and I was just like, in case other people could hear it, I will address it.
But also I think we need to stop talking about Trump, because we need to move on to our next headline.
There's construction going on at my...
Uh, condominium, in my apartment complex.
It's cool.
Dude, sun's out, chainsaw's out.
I've always said that.
Let's get sawed.
Okay, so headline number two for the week.
This I don't know anything about, unlike the Donald Trump shit, which I can't escape even if I wanted to.
God, how I wish I could.
The Daily Beast.
I don't know what's going on with The Daily Beast.
Mike, why are we talking about The Daily Beast?
So the Daily Beast had a report which I, my mind is blown because I clicked on the article and the source for this article, the man that is being interviewed as the person, the expert in question is Steven Jarvis who If you're deep into the weeds in this shit and so like right now 12 people who like follow me know what's going on.
Steve Jarvis is like the right hand man of our boy Stu.
Our boy Stu Anon.
So Jarvis is one of these guys who is running harassment campaigns against Mike Rothschild, Cassandra Seven, and various and sundry other people who are just like, yo, Stu, you're a fucking clown, and your whole Michael Flynn is cute, and if you don't believe that, you're a deep state psy-op bullshit, give me money!
And So Jarvis basically got interviewed by this reporter from the Daily Beast and was talking about how he was the target of a harassment campaign by Conspiratorial Nerudo, who is a
He is a guy that flags bot networks.
He actually does real work in this field to monitor disinformation and people that are using disinformation and using these bot networks to push disinformation on social media and get it out there.
And they were claiming that he was actually part of this bot network that DeSantis was using to peddle misinformation, which is not true.
He is a monitor.
And also Jarvis was attacking Cassandra Seven as being part of DeSantis' operation
to try to besmirch actual researchers and fact checkers like he, Steve Jarvis.
And none of this is fucking true.
This reporter got taken for a ride.
Part of the article was Steven Jarvis talking about how his four-year-old child was being used
in some sort of bizarre child exploitation ad campaign where these people were using the child
in this sexually explicit way.
And I don't know if Steve Jarvis actually has a child, but the child in question here is fake.
It is a GAN-generated AI, not human being.
that was created to look like a human being, but is not real.
Weird.
So that child is not a real thing.
Steven Jarvis made them out of whole cloth and gave them to the reporter and the reporter bid on it.
So right now the article has been edited to remove all of it.
Yeah, every reference to conspirator has been removed, but all the attacks against Cassandra Seven remain.
And just, it is super shitty that the Daily Beast, which is supposed to be a reputable online news agency,
got taken for a ride by one of the Thinkin Project's grifter bros, who managed to portray himself as a victim
and other anti-QAnon debunkers as his attackers who are working on behalf of Ron DeSantis.
So, point.
Poor form, Daily Beast.
Yeah, that was great.
My one last little thing about Steven Jarvis that I love was I saw back in the day, one of his things was attacking somebody about, oh, you're not that smart, and I'm very smart.
And his way of proving that he's very smart was stating that he was on the Magic the Gathering Pro Tour.
Oh.
That he made it all the way to the pinnacle of Magic the Gathering.
Wait a minute.
Isn't the guy named Jarvis that we're still talking about here?
Yes.
Oh my god.
I believe that this fellow may post on a forum that I go to, we could talk about this more off the air.
But yes, we'll put a pin in that one just for us.
But that is wild.
I was just like, why do I recognize that name?
Oh, now I know why I recognize that name.
And just for the record, his record on the Pro Tour that he was so proud of having achieved is a blistering 14 wins, 22 losses, and one draw.
He's pretty close to 500, which is impressive.
Oh wait, that's not close to 500?
No, not in the slightest.
Yikes.
A cool, like, I win one out of every four matches I play or whatever.
Good stuff.
I also love the mentality of people who think that they're intelligent to just be like, I need to tell you how smart I am, and I have the receipts to prove it.
Here are my dumb receipts.
And it's just like, you know what the hallmark of being really intelligent is?
It's not needing to prove it by yelling, I'm smart!
at people.
Like, generally, all the hyper-intelligent people I know are just sort of like, They just carry themselves in a way that indicates that they have intelligence because they make appropriate decisions and, you know, like... They blow up rockets and buy social media networks because their wife left them.
Oh, man.
Oh, if only Stephen Jarvis would be even worse than Elon if he ever got his hands on a couple of billion dollars.
Oh, my lord.
Anyway, the last news item for the week before we move into our succulent mailbag, we're going to touch briefly on the old Tennessee 3, which I believe has been shortened to the Tennessee 2, as it should have been the whole time, because...
You know, while I appreciate that the third one did acknowledge that the color of their skin played probably some factor in the fact that they still have their job, there's no three.
It's only two.
So Mike, let's talk about the Tennessee two real quick.
I'm sure QAnon, the GOP, and everyone's favorite conservatives all had a pretty measured response to this.
So for people who maybe don't know what we're talking about, give us a quick red data to tell us why the fuck we're talking about it.
Okay, so what we're talking about is the fact that in Tennessee, there was a push for gun control laws after a mass shooting in Nashville killed six people.
And During these events, there were protests at the State Congress, and the Republicans decided to pull a sort of, oh, you're doing it January 6th!
And declared that three of the Democrats, Justin Jones, Justin Peterson, and Gloria Johnson, had incited these crowds to potentially do bad things, even though no bad things actually happened.
It was possible bad things that could have happened.
It was a mind insurrection.
It was a thought storming of the Capitol that happened here.
So, QAnon was very much, basically every time there was a protest anywhere in America now, where like a bill trying to strip trans people of their rights is being passed, or a bill to criminalize certain levels of abortion, or all abortion.
If there's anything that a Republican run state is doing to fuck over minorities or women, And then a protest is made by those women or minorities or by allies of women and minorities.
Immediately, the riot's like, OH THIS IS JANUARY 6TH!
THEY SHOULD BE ALL ARRESTED!
THEY'RE STORMING!
And it's like mostly people just waving American flags and screaming, WE HAVE RIGHTS!
FUCK YOU!
STOP TAKING OUR RIGHTS AWAY!
Well yeah, but they were smashing windows with the flags, right?
Uh, no.
They actually weren't.
Okay, but they were attacking police officers with fire extinguishers, no?
Uh, I didn't see that.
I'll have to check, but I don't think so.
Oh, okay.
I mean, I'm sure that there were other ways in which it was like January 6th.
I'll just try to think of something.
Yes!
They did not take shits on senators or congresspeople's desks.
They didn't steal a laptop from the Speaker of the House.
It's possible.
I mean, we're working on it.
So, after this whole hullabaloo, the Tennessee State Congress, which were by Republicans, decided to expel the two black guys that were part of these quote-unquote mind insurrections.
But the white woman who was a part of it didn't get expelled, which was aggressively on the nose for the Republicans.
To me, it's like, if you're gonna do this shit, you've gotta go whole hog and throw all three of them out.
Because when you only throw the two black guys out, that's...
That is really wild.
It doesn't look so great, no.
No, it doesn't.
It's like, yeah, we had the votes to get rid of the two black guys, but the white woman, don't know why, couldn't find those couple extra votes we needed to get rid of her.
So weird.
Who knows?
It's worth noting, Representative Jones has already been put back in his seat by a special session of his district's voting committee.
Yeah, yeah, basically, basically some state, some city entity
that had the power to do that has reappointed him to the seat.
And you can't be expelled for the same thing twice. So he's he's back. And and they all they've done, like, all they've
done is make all three of these people, but but mostly the two
black representatives national names.
Like, given them massive platforms.
It's really funny to me, because I've looked at Tennessee, and I'm just like, I mean, Nashville's Once you have a bigger city, you get liberal just by osmosis.
So Nashville's kind of liberal, but I've always looked at Tennessee and been like, the only person we could ever get to win a Senate seat there is Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift would have to give up her life of decadent wealth to become Senator Swift for us to flip a seat there.
But it's like, hey, Republicans, please do this shit.
Please.
Please try to elevate these very well, these very intelligent, very articulate guys that have handled themselves in the national spotlight very well.
Please.
Oh my God.
The speeches they were giving, like, dude, like I was getting fired up listening to them.
And I'm not a member of Gen Z like they are.
Like the Republican Party could not have fumbled the bag on this one any harder.
They were just like, we don't like what you're doing.
And as a punishment, we're going to elevate the two of you to superstar status in your base overnight.
Yeah, exactly, exactly!
It's like, now I can actually dream of someone actually working through the political system in Tennessee and, like, winning statewide office and actually being a senator or something like that.
And the best part is because of the fact that they could just get reappointed or whatever.
It was just like a speed bump on the road.
It wasn't like a roadblock.
They're just like, oh no, we have to deal with this minor inconvenience, but I guess while we're here with a national spotlight on us, I guess we'll carry ourselves with insane decorum and greatness and immediately everyone will know who we are and how we roll.
Okay, sounds awesome.
Yeah.
God, yeah.
And then to top this all off in the aggressive Republican soullessness of this all, the governor of Tennessee, a Republican, his last name is Lee, I don't know his first name because fuck him, he doesn't deserve that.
He's actually signing executive orders to try to strengthen gun control because his wife knew somebody that was killed in that mass shooting.
So when it actually hits home with these assholes, they start putting in work.
When a bunch of kids get killed at Sandy Hook or Evaldi or whatever, it's the whole Michael Jordan, fuck them kids thing.
But when my wife knows somebody who died in a mass shooting, time to tighten up them gun laws.
Time to try to Trying to fix some shit around here in Tennessee.
It's like, oh my, the most self-serving, completely soulless party that exists in this world.
It's just, they just can't help themselves.
They have to show their asses 24-7.
And I can't wait for that guy to get primary, to get attacked for being a rhino.
And how dare you?
There's going to be a Republican who's going to go against him.
It's going to be like a gun in every home.
Gun everywhere.
And that's the one little thing that makes me laugh about all this is I see so many like pro-life Republicans whining about, Oh, we're getting killed in the polls over abortion.
These women-hating, fetus-worshipping lunatics, they have to be so mad at the gun people, because the gun people have had it this way for like 50 years, where they've controlled the Republican Party, all gun legislation gets destroyed, and the American people generally turn a blind eye to it, because people are like pro-gun control, but they mostly vote on like the economy, or Other issues, taxes, this, that, the other thing.
Like, the anti-gun people are not single issue voters, whereas the pro-gun people will crawl across broken glass to vote for the Republicans because the gun is great.
Whereas, yeah, whereas like on the abortion issue, sorry, people, the pro abortion people,
they can be single issue voters. And that issue is if my daughter gets raped, I do not
want her to have to carry a rape baby. Or I am that daughter, I don't want to carry
a rape baby. So it's this thing where it's like, sorry, buddy, your issue actually like
gets into everybody's homes and they turn out to vote against you because you're terrible
and bad. Whereas the gun thing is kind of ephemeral unless it happens to someone in
your family. And then holy shit, we have to do something about these guns.
Yeah, what are the odds somebody is going to be even second or third hand impacted by gun violence in America?
What is it, like 87% or something?
It's so dumb.
We're working on it.
I mean, that's the thing.
Like, Gen Z will be voting for gun control because they are literally the... Like, I'm in my 40s.
I was, like, around for Columbine.
But if you're in your 20s now, you're just like, fuck these assholes.
Holy shit, fuck them.
Yeah, I mean, for us it was like, man, remember when we were in school and there were like those one or two big high-profile shootings?
That shit was crazy.
And then like Gen Z is gonna like turn into adults that have voting power and they're gonna be like, man, remember when we were terrified to go to school every day because it felt like sort of there was like a small percentage chance that every day was gonna be our last?
As soon as we walked through those doors of our school, we were just like, ah, now we're trapped in this building and could die at any moment.
Yeah.
He thinks we're going to have a big wave of anxiety on the rise.
The pharmaceutical companies are going to have a field day given.
There's that teacher, I don't remember where, who got shot by a six-year-old, and she's suing the school district, and now the school district's trying to say, well, you're a teacher in America, it you should be like being shot is a is a real thing that can happen to you so it's a like we should you shouldn't be able to sue us it's just it's just part of your job as a teacher in america it's like no you know the risk setting up to educate young children that you might get murdered by a gun
Yeah, I mean, that's what you get.
That's why every teacher makes a starting salary of $150,000 a year.
Like, it's hazard pay.
That's why they get to live so fat.
Those greedy teachers.
Shut your gobs!
You receive your massive paycheck at your risk of getting shot by a six-year-old, and you like it.
Yeah, damn right.
Take that, teachers.
Someone had to knock them down a peg or two.
Yeah, finally, somebody brave enough to come after fucking teachers.
God, what a bunch of useless idiots, these teachers.
He's not trying to educate the youth so they can grow up to be adults who can function.
Fucking idiots.
Pfft.
Boo.
They're just in it for the... Like, again, I'm just... I can't stress this enough.
They're just in it for the huge amount of money.
Yes, the massive pay that comes with being a teacher.
It's so good.
God, everything about our country is broken, and teachers are saints.
Okay, let's move on to our mailbag.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A. Quick little short bag of mail for the week.
Mike, what do you got for us?
SubZeroShirt asks, from the DogComms standpoint, what is the significance of Trump telling Tucker that they left all the dogs in Afghanistan?
Any decodes?
We haven't actually had that happen yet, because... I forgot about DogComms.
What a refreshing day of my day.
Okay, so DogComms is basically something that happened a million years ago, where I think it was James Comey posted a thing about a dog that was named, that had the same name as George H.W.
Bush's codename when he was president, for the Secret Service codename, and then Bush died like a week or two later and people were like, oh shit, Comey was letting everybody know that Bush was already dead and then they revealed it publicly later.
So then dog cons became a thing where if someone from the deep state posts things about dogs, it means someone famous is about to die soon.
And because people are posting about dogs all the time, and people are dying all the time, it's really not that hard to make that real.
It's really not that hard to fit.
Like Keith Olbermann, one of the people that QAnon loves to hate, is constantly posting about dogs that are in kill shelters that only have like a week or two left before they will be euthanized.
And he'd be like, this beautiful dog's only got a couple weeks left.
Please somebody come down to this shelter and adopt them.
If anyone wants to be mad, they can just literally go to Keith Olbermann's timeline, find when he's talking about dogs that are basically on their way to the execution chamber, and they can be like, oh shit, Olbermann's making comms again, something's going on here.
A couple weeks ago, there was a dog con, and I saw a lot of Q&A people were like, who is this for, Jimmy Carter or Fetterman?
Because Fetterman had just checked himself in for depression.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Carter's in hospice care now.
So they were like, oh, one of those two is going to die soon.
And Fetterman's coming back to Congress in a week.
And Carter is going to die soon, because he's 1 million years old.
So it's not a con that the guy in hospice probably doesn't have long left on this earth.
That and being also like almost a hundred, because Jesus Christ, Jimmy Carter's old.
But certainly we can make up a narrative for what the dog comms were.
Oh yeah, we can invent whatever we want.
Trump talking about the Afghanistan dogs is a sign that we are going to re-invade Afghanistan after Trump gets re-elected president.
Rebuild it better, stronger, faster from Biden's disastrous withdrawal that left Afghanistan weak and terrible.
It was awful and bad.
Trump's gonna do the right good thing, even though, again, spoiler alert, the guy who signed the withdrawal documents was President Trump, not President Biden.
Biden was merely fulfilling the vision President Trump had set forth.
Yeah, but that was before our honorable and mighty President Trump knew what was going to happen the moment we pulled out of the Middle East.
Yeah, and all those dogs.
Or at least Afghanistan.
Yep, all those poor dogs in Afghanistan.
Still the Middle East.
You're good.
If Trump had known how poorly Biden was going to handle the dog withdrawal, he never would have stood for it.
Never.
Yeah, and also the Taliban immediately taking over or whatever.
But the dogs!
Those poor dogs.
The thing about that is, like, dogs are kind of, like, universally accepted as companions, and they're also useful.
So I can just imagine, like, we abandon all these dogs, and, like, the Taliban, like, takes over, and they're just like, oh, look!
Dogs!
It's like the Taliban are like, the dog is the great, like, avatar of the evil decadent West!
We must kill the dog!
I'm pretty sure the Taliban would be like, hey, we have dogs now.
Maybe our proud American dogs operate in the shadows, like fucking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but just regular dogs.
Like some Taliban guy just patrolling the streets, and he just walks by this dark entrance to an alleyway, and then suddenly just gets attracted to it by some dogs.
Bat dog.
Pancake Peasant asks, is Sgt.
Hellgoing AWOL the new Hellworld meta, or is this camo just too powerful for Hellworld's passive perception to overcome?
I'm new last month, you fuck!
Also, Fungus Brains is my new favorite insult.
Thanks for sharing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, how long does something have to be around for it to be the new meta?
I would say that Sgt.
Missing Episodes is like an established recurring deck that is good depending on the day.
Yeah.
It's a tournament pick.
Like, you know, sometimes if you just think, if you think nobody's paying their dredge tax, you just show up with dredge and just smash them on tournament.
It's like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just, people aren't, people aren't meted for you.
People, people thought your thing is not working anymore.
Hey, if I don't see anyone getting ready to counter Galactus, boy, howdy, do I switch him to Galactus?
Cause he's dumb moronic fun.
He's the shittiest, dumbest gimmick deck in the history of the universe.
I love it.
It's basically Marvel Staff's version of Frostbloom or Clarion Academy for me.
I just love it.
It's just a dumb combo.
They can be countered with a sneeze, but when it goes off, oh man, it's just like, boom!
Got you!
You dumb moron!
You feel great and they feel bad.
Yes, exactly, exactly.
The format of the statement that I'm about to make will make it seem sarcastic, but I assure you that it is not.
I love that we have gotten to a point with Marvel Snap where all of the people that love it and want to play it can do that, but no one is talking about it in, like, the pop culture zeitgeist anymore.
So I, as somebody who does not give a fuck about it, can just ignore it.
But, like, every time I, like, look over and someone's just playing a dorky game on their phone, especially when I'm, like, at the card shop or whatever, it's like, you know, I can flip a coin and it's probably, like, heads it's Marvel Snap, tails it's any other game, you know?
So, it's just like, ah, excellent, we've reached equilibrium.
I mean, I'm gonna try the DC one when that finally drops.
Maybe it'll be funner.
Yeah, I'm totally down for DC dual or whatever they call it.
So like, I'm dual force.
Yeah, I'm for dual force.
So thank you for the question.
Snorlaxcpap says, what's your take on Anonymous dropping a ton of info on GOP folks this week?
Passwords, emails, browser histories, the weird thing about Boebert's duck dick thing.
Yeah, I almost brought this up at the Boosh and I forgot that we ran a little bit long on the Boosh.
So I'm glad that we're getting to talk about it here at the Mailbag.
I mean, it's interesting if true.
That's the thing about Anonymous and all their stuff, especially a video like that.
I could make a video like that and just be like, Marjorie Taylor Greene, does the name Dingle Nuts mean anything to you?
That's right, I've got you dead to rights.
How could she prove that Dingle Nuts doesn't mean something to her, you know what I mean?
If she protests, it just makes her sound guilty, and if she admits it, all she's gonna do is hoodwink me, the person who was lying about it at first.
So, like, it's just, you know, big if true, but they didn't pair it with any info.
You know what I mean?
They were just like, oh, and here's, like, the Marjorie Taylor Greene sex tape of her cheating on her husband for the billionth time.
And it's just like, oh, OK.
Oh, wow.
OK, we've actually got some stuff here at Audibus.
What a bunch of lads.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just.
I really didn't get into that that much because it's, as Elle said, it's unsourced kind of stuff.
And also it's just, I don't know, weird.
And that's, that's the thing to me that I just don't really care about because so much of QAnon is just aggressively based in people being like, Hey, this looks weird, huh?
Ain't this weird?
I mean, shouldn't we be concerned?
Like the whole Pizzagate thing is, They map it out on, look at the creepy art the Podesta brothers had.
It's like, yeah, they got some art.
What about it?
They're like, but it's weird art.
It's bad.
I'm like, so?
So you don't like the art.
Great.
What's your point?
They're like, no, the only people who can have this art are bad people.
It's like, so it's like, yeah, Lauren Barber's looking for duck dicks.
I don't know, maybe it's like some sort of, like, I don't know, like, science project for a kid, one of her very young children, or her soon-to-be, like, grandchild that she was bragging about.
She's like, I'm almost 40, I'm gonna be a grandmother, because my, like, 17-year-old kid knocked up somebody.
The population's me.
So, until any of this stuff actually, like, I don't know, bears fruit in some way, then huge grains of salt, and I'll care when it actually matters.
Like, I'll believe on the Trump indictment.
I'll believe it when I see it.
I'll care when Dingle Nuts gets exposed, or we're gonna be there.
We're gonna strike when the iron's hot.
So, thank you for the question.
And finally, Existential Dreads, who has hosted our show previously, has asked, what am I having an allergic reaction to right now, and how much do I owe The Hat Man?
I don't know who The Hat Man is, but $3.
The Hat Man is not Aaron Rodgers' sleep paralysis demon.
So I know what all of those words mean individually, but all mashed together the way you just did, that was, that was, it was like jazz.
It was beautiful, but I don't know what happened.
Okay, so a lot of people see a shape or a figure when they have sleep paralysis,
aka sleep paralysis demon.
Routinely people say they see a sleep paralysis demon with a hat, aka the hat man.
He's become sort of a modern cryptid.
There is a misattributed Aaron Rodgers quote from one of the multiple times where he took ayahuasca,
where he said he experienced ego death and fought the hat man.
Uh, now, that's not really true.
Aaron Rodgers didn't exactly say that.
He has done ayahuasca and said he's seen things, but he never said he fought the Hat Man.
But the Hat Man became much more zeitgeisty and popular after this, um, It was a Wisconsin version of The Onion, did an article about him.
So, the hat man is, quotation marks, a real thing, in that people, it's a shared hallucination that people see who experience sleep paralysis.
Has it been ruined?
Is it one of the things that's already been ruined by the SCP crowd, or is it on the docket to be ruined by them?
It's on the docket, because people who experience sleep paralysis do actually see It's a common hallucination.
So.
I love how genuinely interesting a lot of this stuff is for the two weeks before 14 year old Redditors get to it
and just make it lose all credibility.
Like man, the back rooms, ah, the back rooms are so fun for like two weeks.
And then suddenly everybody was just like, oh my God, 19 year old Fortnite pros take on the back rooms.
And I'm just like, nope, I am near 40.
So pass on that.
I don't want that.
Yeah, you're not wrong.
It had a cool, creepy vibe, and then I always liked liminal spaces and everything, and then, man, that got ruined.
Yeah, god, it sucks having known about stuff like that previously.
It's like, again, it's the Matrix all over again.
Like, you know, something comes out and it just ruins a concept for you because you're just like, god damn it.
Now that everyone's giving us their lukewarm takes on this, I hate it.
I know all that because I saw the quote that Aaron Rodgers said he was going to take ayahuasca again and fight the hat man, and I had to do what they always say and do my own research.
And I was like, goddammit, this is a version of the onion said this.
Fucking stupid Aaron Rodgers has talked about his multiple ayahuasca trips.
Yeah, Aaron Rodgers is a stupid fuck who's done ayahuasca a handful of times, so you can attribute anything to him, and there's a chance it's true.
Yeah, that's the problem.
It was very believable.
And remember when he was dating that, like, 22-year-old girl, and she was, like, having to stick up for him during all of his, like, anti-vax stuff, and then after, like, four months of having to just be beaten, like, unconscious, and, like, you know, Metaphorically, in the press, because you're standing by your man while he's just like, I don't think vaccinations work during COVID.
So they were just like, yeah, we're separating.
It turns out that dating Aaron Rodgers is hard.
And it's just like, yeah, you probably shouldn't see the writing on the wall when he was just like, you know what I don't believe in?
Vaccination.
I heard it here first.
Elle doesn't believe in vaccination.
Oh, the aggressive taking things out of context to try to destroy people.
I'm just saying that you could never prove, like, how are you going to prove that anyone has ever been vaccinated?
Yeah.
See, it's not that I don't think they're not effective.
I just don't believe it's ever happened.
All placebos across the board.
It's never happened.
There's never been a vaccine.
And that is why I am anti-vaccine.
You can quote me on that.
You believe in vaccines the same way I believe in Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines 2 is coming out?
Yes.
I mean, I believe that that could come out.
Well, does getting your source code leaked because your company imploded count as coming out?
Yes.
And the answer to your other question is shellfish.
You are currently allergic to shellfish, and that's what you're having a reaction to.
So I'm glad we covered that for Dreads.
But not the hat man.
Not the hat man.
Maybe in the throes of your sleep paralysis, the hat man decided to do an allergy panel on you.
Hatman is actually just the name of your allergist.
It's Dr. Hatman.
Holds up the little strip to your skin and just being like, I don't know about that.
We're just doing the 30 rock bit, Dr. Spaceman.
Tree nuts.
I knew it.
Thanks, Hatman.
So the final question is, what are you guys looking forward to?
Um, I am looking forward to... I'm looking forward to... It's, um...
I've fallen out of love with Magic the Gathering, so now I'm in this weird place where I am in Warhammer 40k, spoiler season, because the new edition is coming out in a couple months.
And I get to bother my friends, you guys, with stuff that mostly me and one of our other friends care about, but I get to show you cool minis.
Everybody can appreciate that.
So I'm enjoying a new, different game, Spoiler Season.
Like, sub note, don't want to steal anyone else's thunder, but we also finally know how to play Disney Lorkana, so we can actually maybe evaluate cards.
So I'm looking forward to Lorkana, Spoiler Season, and 40K, Spoiler Season.
Yeah, I can co-sign the Lorcana thing.
That was like a surprise that happened this week, which is cool.
It gives us a little bit of information.
I'm not like any really more or less excited than I was before, but it will be nice to be able to get on the ground floor or something like that with the boys.
I'm also just sort of generally interested, generally excited for movie season, which, you know, now that I think about it, I've been in the swing of for the past like three or four weeks.
Yeah, I'm consistently going out with friends to go see like one movie in theaters per week now.
I've also been to two movies recently.
It's really weird.
Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff coming out.
It's like next week is the new...
Blanking on his name right now.
The new film from the guy who directed Hereditary and Midsommar.
Ari something?
Ari Aster?
Is that it?
I believe that's it.
I think I nailed it.
Ari Aster.
His new movie starring Joaquin Phoenix is coming out next week.
And my friends are big horror fans.
The week after that, The Evil Dead comes out.
I think the week after that is Guardians of the Galaxy.
It's like May 5th or whatever.
Yeah.
So there's like a bunch of stuff coming up back to back to back.
It's actually really making me reconsider whether or not I want to join the AMC Stubs A-List.
Ooh, the list.
I've avoided that just because I have that nice local theater that I took you to when you were out here.
Oh, nice is a stretch.
It's kitschy and fun.
It's not nice.
It's fun.
I guess I was using nice in a different sense.
Yeah, because the theater that we go to is nice.
It's like the Dolby DLP, giant leather reclining seats, side seating, all that stuff.
But yeah, the place we went to go see Multi-Person Madness together was actually a hoot.
That was a great experience.
Yeah, we saw Dungeons & Dragons there, and I thought it was just me, but another girl in the theater was like, I need to watch that again with subtitles.
I routinely could not understand what they were saying.
Just like, a word here and there.
That's bizarre.
I did not have that issue.
Yeah, I think it might be the theater.
It might be your super nice theater.
Also, before we transition over to see what Mike is excited about, I do have to mention that we should all strap in for the veritable deluge of toy and video game movies that we are about to receive, because Dungeons & Dragons did well, and then the Super Mario Bros.
movie is doing crazy well, and based on what I've seen trailer-wise and the buzz I'm seeing online, I have to imagine the Barbie movie is going to do very well.
And then we're just going to get dumped on.
Ninja Turtles has a movie that's coming out that seems like it's going to be pretty good and might do well.
It looks good.
I mean, it like the animation.
Yeah, Spider-Verse changed everything.
Oh yeah, Spider-Verse made people have to try again.
Yeah, Spider-Verse is coming out in July.
There's just so much.
Or June.
There's just so much stuff coming out.
Anyway, Mike, what are you excited about?
Before I talk about what I'm excited about, it just reminded me, because me and Elle saw Battleship in the theaters on a joke because it was so bad.
And when we left the theater, we were talking about Christopher Nolan doing Hungry, Hungry Hippos as this grimdark version of the movie.
It was just like, they're hungry.
And then the Inception noise comes in as people are running from the hippos as they're coming after them.
And it was just like, Hungry, Hungry Hippos, the movie.
Oh no!
But what I'm looking forward to is mostly the hockey playoffs, which are going to be starting sometime next week.
Because both my Boston Bruins, who are actually my team because I'm from Boston, but also the Vegas Golden Knights are doing very well.
So my dream of the Ultimate Stanley Cup Finals, Vegas versus Boston, Now, I don't actually know a lot about hockey, but for anyone who maybe, let's say, is a hockey fan, specifically a Boston Bruins fan, I will say, Mike, how dare you?
How dare you put those two teams this season on an equivalent pedestal?
They might be both doing well, but the Bruins are doing much more than very well.
They're doing literally record-setting well.
Oh, trust me, I'm well aware, and I was about to make a joke about how a Boston team setting an unbelievable regular season record that can never be matched, that never ends poorly, does it?
Wink, nod, 07 Patriots.
God fucking damn you.
Richard Seymour was held.
It's like the stick of Aaron Rodgers all over that statement.
Just like, they'll just be like, the greatest quarterbacks ever!
Like, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers.
Just like, yeah.
The following two teams are having great seasons in hockey this year.
The Brosset Bruins and the Las Vegas Golden Knights.
The same.
They're the same.
Well, it's just more the fact that I want, I would love Vegas to make the finals against Boston because that would be hilarious, but the Bruins have absolutely trucked everybody all season long and it's been hilarious and I really would like to see them win the whole thing because Going into this season, there was this belief that basically all the Bruins really had going for them was this kind of win-one-for-the-Gipper kind of mentality, because they have a bunch of guys that are getting pretty old, and this might be their last real shot at actually doing anything.
And folks were like, eh, that's nice in the movies, but it doesn't actually play in real life.
Smash cut to the old guys figuring it out, the young guys elevating their game, everyone just kicking ass.
Our goalie, who was just a guy turning into a fucking brick wall.
I mean, it's just been this perfect storm of events where the team was just gone from being, meh, they're gonna be mediocre, they'll probably make the playoffs if things break right, to just World-beating dominance the likes of which humanity has never seen before so Just here's the hoping they actually see it through and win the whole goddamn thing Not so much talking shit about the Boston Celtics because they tapered off pretty badly And they'll probably lose to Milwaukee when that series happens at some point in the playoffs
Well, there we go.
Good stuff to be excited about all around.
Especially Mike's thing, I guess, because the Pruins are doing so well.
What an absolute unit of a team.
Yeah.
I'm glad that one of your East Coast teams is finally doing well.
Yeah, I mean, from a little unknown sports town called Boston, Massachusetts.
When will Boston sports ever catch a break?
When, I say, when?
Yeah, I love how at this point it's even been 20 years where people who were not from Boston could just be like, yeah, well at least their baseball team will never make it.
We reversed that curse a long-ass time ago, but the stain of it will always last for many of us who live or ever have lived in the Boston area, as will our lack of a perfect season.
That's right!
Even while our hockey team is doing literally the nut good, us people who identify as proud Bostodians will still complain about how we could have succeeded even harder.
You'll never be as good as the Dolphins.
Yeah, I mean, Lord, who could be?
And Tom Brady will never be an Eli Manning, that much we are certain.
He'll never be a Dan Murray man.
Enough of this horseshit.
It is time for us to fuck straight out of Hellworld.
No fancy way of escaping this time.
We just sort of disappear, like Poochie.
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Kids Epic Journey joins The Crib.
Welcome to The Crib, our new, beautifuller baby.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to dickheads like us, we understand.
We suggest, if you want a suggestion, that you can do some good with it by donating it to love146.org.
They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
And, you know, that's who we support here because QAnon claims to hate when the kids is in danger, but they don't do shit.
And so we are here to try to do a little bit of shit.
As much shit as we can do, I guess, by getting the word out.
Thanks, as always, to DJ Minimal Effort for—wow, let me try that one again, because that was very speedy and messy.
Thanks, as always, to DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our intro song.
Still no social media for them, but they're a pretty cool guy.
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That's not true.
Don't worry about that.
But for the time being, at hell world with a Q instead of an O. You can find myself at hell world L spelled the same way.
Sarge is at Sarge in hell.
And Mike Raines is of course at Poker Politics.
So, for another successful episode of the Avengers at Hell World Podcast, I have been one of your hosts, The Mysterious L, joined as frequently recently on a record by Sarge.
This is a rudder that we will continue to do because it annoys him.
And of course, our expert at all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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