This week Mike, Sarge, and L deal with the drama surrounding Damar Hamlin being replaced by a clone, Trump's continued support of the vaccine, and Matt Gaetz appears to be getting smeared by the same folks who ruined Cawthorn. Plus George Santos is now a drag queen. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| Bye bye. | |
| Content warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I am joined by Sarge. | |
| Yeah, most weeks. | |
| I've started my own mug club in that I brought a mug of coffee to the recording. | |
| So, hooray! | |
| Give me $50 million a year. | |
| Yeah, no problem. | |
| We're gonna get on that any moment now. | |
| And also, the mysterious El. | |
| Hello, my beautiful babies. | |
| It's so grizzled. | |
| I'm here and I'm grizzled. | |
| You didn't mute yourself fast enough during the intro. | |
| I heard you practicing. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it happens sometimes. | |
| You know, my favorite part about any medium like this, because it's happened a couple of times now between D&D and this, is when people hear that, they think it's a real hoot and a holler, and they like to bring it up, which is great. | |
| But also, practicing that shit is like, I am a better DM than all the other DMs you've ever played with. | |
| This is the truth. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| I don't practice doing voices, and I'm very bad at it. | |
| So, yeah, it is fun to bring up, but you know what? | |
| And a lot of the times I use the dumb little intro to our show to sort of workshop potential ideas, because I still haven't settled on a character voice for the next character I'm playing in a game. | |
| Anyway, we're already into the weeds. | |
| I've got a dumb, stupid voice and we're already talking about nonsense for an extended length of time. | |
| Which is fine and all, but I don't know if we need to belabor this particular point. | |
| It's fun. | |
| Improv? | |
| I don't know. | |
| My acting skills! | |
| Hey! | |
| Rule three is we'll bring it up at least two more times. | |
| I'll put one of those out right now. | |
| So I knew that I wasn't quick enough on the mute button. | |
| And once I got myself muted, I was just like, I could cover over this by doing a different voice. | |
| And I was just like, no, fuck these guys. | |
| I'm just kidding. | |
| I was like, I have like, I have like a bad goofy in my back pocket I could do, or just like, I like, pitch it down a bit and do like a weird clown thing, but I was like, no. | |
| Grizzled Man voice. | |
| I have to, I have to find out what Grizzled Man voice I want to apply to the Grizzled Man I'm playing in my new game. | |
| He's so grizzled and old! | |
| I think this is an important thing for us to start the podcast, because we are the inventors of the no-and system of improv, so like... No we're not, Mike, and shut up. | |
| Yes. So I think if people just took the first five minutes of | |
| our podcast and made it into an improvisational class, like curriculum, I think they'd be very successful. | |
| I think you could launch a career off of the gold we've been spinning for people for all this time. | |
| If you want to get really inside baseball, if somebody went and edited, like, this portion of each episode of the show, like the portion before we get to the amuse-bouche, and then... Lord knows how much time we wasted before we had the amuse-bouche. | |
| But if anybody took just those segments and edited them together, it would be closer to the sort of podcast I wish I could record. | |
| More than anything, I just want to create content where I just talk about shit I like randomly with people that I know. | |
| I don't need to be beholden to a concept like QAnon or even politics. | |
| I just sort of want to riff. | |
| I want to riff about stuff. | |
| But I'm not famous, so nobody wants to hear me riff about stuff. | |
| And there's a lot of people trying to get famous doing that on the internet. | |
| It's hard out there for a riff, I guess, is what I'm saying. | |
| It's a crowded market. | |
| It is a very crowded market. | |
| Yeah, I mean, but certainly they've got room for me. | |
| I'm so small. | |
| I'm so small I can squeeze right in! | |
| El is a wee little lad just trying to make it in this cruel, cruel world. | |
| He's just a little guy. | |
| Yeah, dude, I'm like the new Fievel. | |
| I'm so tiny and everybody just wants to protect me and I have a beautiful singing voice. | |
| All of these things. | |
| And I'm Jewish! | |
| Or a Jewish allegory at the very least. | |
| Oh, Fievel. | |
| Okay, I was like, wait, what? | |
| Yeah, what? | |
| Uh-oh, Sarge lost the thread, so all of a sudden he turned back in and I was saying I was Jewish. | |
| Yeah, it's just like... Uh, I said I was Jewish! | |
| Ayyy! | |
| Ayyy! | |
| And that's what we call foreshadowing. | |
| Yes! | |
| Somebody call Every Frame a Painting. | |
| It's because I had to replay all of Fievel in my head and then the sequel. | |
| Uh... | |
| Why did you need to play the sequel to confirm if they were Jewish? | |
| You put the first one in your head and you were just like, I still don't know. | |
| Maybe they're traveling to the Old West. | |
| It might jog my memory. | |
| I've seen Five What Goes West more than... Oh, the first one's not even called Five All. | |
| It's an American tale or whatever? | |
| Yeah. | |
| The second one is An American Tail Five-O Goes West. | |
| In your defense, at the end of An American Tail Five-O Goes West, he does order a bagel with a big schmear. | |
| And he just, like, nailed it. | |
| Okay, I was waiting. | |
| I mean, it was... I did not know, but... | |
| Anyway, on that delightful food, and lightly anti-Semitic maybe, depending on where you fall on that, I don't know. | |
| New York people love bagels in general, and there are a lot of Jewish folks there, and their bagels are delicious. | |
| I'm sorry, I just love a bush bagel. | |
| Anyway, let's get to our amuse-bouche! | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| Get ready for the amuse-bouche! | |
| I feel like I need to stop living in fear of everything I say being the thing that gets taken out of context and gets me cancelled. | |
| I have to remind myself that I'm not famous and therefore cannot be cancelled. | |
| Yeah, we're at least five years away from, like, well, from what I've seen, it's people going back, you better believe everyone's digging through Justin Roiland's past right now. | |
| Oh, you don't say! | |
| Yeah, so weird. | |
| No, we're at least five years away from you saying something now and it getting you cancelled. | |
| I mean, well, hopefully five years from now, the Justin Roiland thing will have spilled over and people will be taking a look at some of his business partners. | |
| I sort of feel like if anybody ever takes a very critical eye at Dan Harmon's behavior, they'll just be like, Maybe we shouldn't have given this guy multiple shots or whatever. | |
| Anyway, we're in the weeds again! | |
| We're supposed to be Abusbushing our first Abusbush topic of this week. | |
| It involves a repeating fan favorite topic of QAnon mythos, cloning. | |
| One of the weird sci-fi things they're into, the idea that people are obviously clones, and if they're not clones, they're another gender than the one they're presenting, and if neither of those things, then they're just a groomer. | |
| So, I'll turn it over to Mike for our weekly clone news update here on our Moose segment, uh, Moose Boost segment. | |
| It's time for Clone Update! | |
| Da-da-da-da-da! | |
| Da-da-da-da! | |
| Clone Update! | |
| Oh man, we're gonna have to have Frosty do an incredibly over-the-top intro for this segment they were very seldomly going to use. | |
| So, this week, the Buffalo Bills got ruffle-stomped by the Cincinnati Bengals, and while that was all happening, Damar Hamlin was shown in a luxury box watching the game. | |
| Or was he? | |
| Yeah! | |
| L, on the ball, knows what's going down here. | |
| So the moment I saw this, in case you didn't watch the game, it was snowing, so there's a lot of snow in the camera shot, and they show DeMar Hamlin through the window, and he gives the hard-handed sign, and the next thing you know, the internet is just like, why couldn't they get a better shot of him? | |
| What's really going on here? | |
| Is that DeMar Hamlin? | |
| Is it not DeMar Hamlin? | |
| What's the NFL hiding from us? | |
| Why can't they just tell us the truth about what happened to this poor man? | |
| So these conspiracy theories started, it was pretty relentless. | |
| DeMar Hamlin was trending on Twitter for the past 24 hours. | |
| And it's been mostly people doing stuff like, look, I'm not saying anything shady happened to this guy, but he could just sit down and do an interview and it would all be settled. | |
| All I want is some evidence, which is the ultimate lie that these people always use because no amount of evidence you ever give them will ever satiate them. | |
| Never gonna let it drop it like when Obama produces long-form birth certificate. | |
| They were like nope you were still born in Kenya There's no way you can ever like Make these people happy. | |
| They will never acknowledge any amount of evidence you've given them is sufficient to make them go, oh, I was mistaken. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| Their primary superpower is just being immune to evidence. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He could sit down for an interview and clear this up real quick. | |
| No one needs to clear up that they're not their own clone. | |
| That has never happened outside of a movie. | |
| Also, of all the fucking people to clone, I did not know about who this guy was until he almost died on the football field. | |
| Granted, I'm sure that he is, like, a successful athlete, and that's just because I don't watch sports. | |
| But still, like, if you're really, really good at sports, your name floats to the top. | |
| Right. | |
| Like if they were going to be cloning anyone, do you think they would be cloning a Patrick Mahomes? | |
| Because a Patrick Mahomes refuses to not play on his injured ankles. | |
| So a Patrick Mahomes is suddenly going to be 500 billion dollars flushed down the toilet in three years when he takes like the wrong shot and his body explodes. | |
| That's all stuff I know without having seen any football this season. | |
| I know that he was playing on a bad ankle again, and I know that he's still great at quarterbacking, but that's dangerous. | |
| So, you would think that Kansas City would want a clone of him lined up. | |
| They paid half a billion dollars for the guy. | |
| Throw another 50 mil on the table and get a clone. | |
| Let's clone him up. | |
| Yeah, under Arrowhead there's a room Like out of every sci-fi movie where the lights go on in stages and you see tube after tube of Patrick Mahomes, they just decant a fresh one for every game. | |
| They're still trying to weed out the defect in his code that makes him want to put ketchup on steak. | |
| Luckily we've seemingly got past that bit of trivia. | |
| But yeah, they would absolutely... Yeah, because you as a people, I'm talking about people in Kansas City, you need to look past that. | |
| Because it should be incongruous enough that you would have catapulted him to a different state. | |
| But, because he's very good at feet's ball, You were just like, it's like adult Harry Potter fans that love Harry Potter that have to ignore J.K. | |
| Rowling for the rest of their fucking lives. | |
| See all the shit Tom Brady said and believed in, and the people of New England. | |
| Oh, yeah, Tom Brady's a whack-a-doodle, but God, he can throw a ball, so whatever. | |
| It's the way it works. | |
| He could have shot someone dead on Boston Commons and, like, said, I'm Tom Brady and I did this. | |
| And they've been like, well, there's a game this Sunday, so... Leave it up to the fan of any other NFL team, whatever you're talking about their quarterback, they want to start talking about Tom Brady. | |
| Isn't that interesting? | |
| Isn't that interesting how everybody always wants to talk about Tom Brady? | |
| Almost as if he's the most notable NFL player in the history of the NFL. | |
| Absolutely! | |
| And he's a total crank. | |
| Anyway, what the fuck does this have to do with Hamlin? | |
| Nothing. | |
| So let's get back to Hamlin and his clone. | |
| It has nothing to do with Hamlin either, because he wasn't cloned. | |
| But he could have been, and I want to hear why they think he was. | |
| So the main conspiracy theory here is that he died, and that he died due to the vaccine. | |
| And so his clone, body double, shapeshifter, reptiloid, replicant, whatever it is, was put in place by the NFL and Big Pharma and George Soros and everybody else because Admitting the truth that this man died as a result of the murderous COVID death shot would be bad for business. | |
| Demar Hamlin himself got in on this. | |
| Did he post the Spider-Man meme with him pointing at himself? | |
| Only if he did that. | |
| One of his recent tweets was him standing in front of a mural of himself with the heart hands and the caption for that is clone followed by a ninja emoji because... | |
| Because he has been wearing a face wrap. | |
| He's got a mask on. | |
| This is a serious question and not a goof idea. | |
| I haven't seen this photo. | |
| Are you sure he's doing heart hands and not a Naruto nimpo hand symbol? | |
| Yeah, is he just a blurred and loves Naruto? | |
| There's nothing wrong with that. | |
| No, the heart hands emoji symbol has been his trademark thing that he does on the football field, and now it's become very much his go-to thing that everyone relates to him. | |
| That's unfortunate, because every other thing he wanted to post there screams Naruto reference. | |
| He really wished that his heart hand could be the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu hand symbol. | |
| So he also posted after that, thanks for all the genuine love, thoughts, and prayers from across the world. | |
| Y'all will hear from me soon. | |
| Number three, and then the hand heart emoji again. | |
| So he is stating that I will be doing an interview soon, and then all of you people will admit that I'm alive and not a clone or whatever. | |
| No, of course not, because him doing an interview doesn't prove that he's not a clone. | |
| That's the thing about being a clone. | |
| Short of producing the original, you can't really prove shit. | |
| In some ways, it's one of their better conspiracy theories, because it's really, really hard to disprove. | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh, I can't wait for people to start studying his eye color. | |
| And his earlobes and all that kind of stuff, because these people just are obsessed with finding things that prove they're right. | |
| And they love earlobes. | |
| I think there was a photo of Jeffrey Epstein's body being taken out of the prison, and people were like, look at the earlobes! | |
| Here are photos of Epstein when he was alive! | |
| The earlobes are different! | |
| They faked it! | |
| And I just love that the Deep State is capable of doing all these things, but they just, like, fuck up and leave clues for these people to catch every now and then. | |
| The Deep State is the Riddler. | |
| They always have to make mistakes, or they have to leave clues so that Batman can catch them. | |
| Because otherwise, they just couldn't exist. | |
| Twenty-five years ago, they all saw Men in Black, and they were just like, hey. | |
| Remember that scene where they just like pulled on that guy's earlobe and his face opened up and he was revealed to be like a robot pilot by another entity? | |
| That's like our whole mythos. | |
| We really love that. | |
| They were really into Biden's earlobes, too. | |
| Oh yeah, Biden's earlobes. | |
| They really don't understand that Biden got plastic surgery, and it's very obvious that, like, at some point in his four years between vice president and president, he was just sort of like, I'm really goddamn old, and I look really goddamn old, and if I want to run for president, I need to go see a doctor and get a little snip-snip-slice-slice to get my face looking a little more youthful so I can, like, pass for 70-ish instead of one million-ish, which is my actual age. | |
| And it's just really funny to me. | |
| They're like, Biden looks so different. | |
| It has to be a clone. | |
| Or he just got some work done. | |
| He's old and has money. | |
| And if you want to get work done, you can. | |
| Do you people look at those photos of Elon Musk and go, wait a minute. | |
| What happened to this man? | |
| How did he get a hairline? | |
| He must be a clone! | |
| It's like, no, Elon just got rich and then had work done. | |
| That's how this works. | |
| Of the two of them, who do you think would be more likely to be a clone? | |
| Elon Musk or Hamlin? | |
| Yeah, no kidding. | |
| Oh my God. | |
| Making meme face. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, the real answer is probably Hamlin, because if Elon Musk could make a clone that works, we'd all be very astonished. | |
| He can't even make a robot that works. | |
| Or really a car, like an autonomous car that works. | |
| Oh God, no. | |
| If he could make a clone, maybe his wife wouldn't have left him. | |
| Take that, Elon. | |
| Boom, boom, boom. | |
| God, she's just the worst. | |
| I like some of her music, but how could you willingly spend that much time with Elon Musk? | |
| How could you willingly spend that much time with Elon Musk's penis inside of you? | |
| Get the fuck out of here. | |
| She left him, and now we have to deal with him being in charge of Twitter. | |
| Yeah, but did she leave him after she let him, like, put two children inside of her? | |
| That's insane. | |
| At least one. | |
| Alpha 2 1 epsilon point B or whatever they named their kid. | |
| I'm only making that up a little. | |
| Their kids named it. | |
| Yeah, I know. | |
| There's two and they both have ridiculous names. | |
| Because Elon just had, he just had to go that way with it. | |
| I just love how, like, it's part of American culture to get super mad at people who name their kids, like, like a little quirky, or maybe they put it like a Y where an I is supposed to be. | |
| And yet, like, base Elon names his kids absolute gibberish and nobody in QAnon or anyone says anything about it. | |
| You can give your kid a unique name and put a different vowel in a weird spot. | |
| All you're doing is making it hard for them for the rest of their lives. | |
| I'm sorry, how do you spell that? | |
| Oh, you spelled my name wrong on this official document. | |
| Oh, okay. | |
| Well, sorry, your parents suck. | |
| Yeah, I sort of feel like I don't mind if it's some fancy name that somebody just made up or whatever, but when you take a regular name and then you just spell it in a dumb way, it's just like, fuck outta here with that. | |
| I mean, come on. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Especially when it's like, there's some names where there's already two or three established spellings for it, like Jennifer or whatever. | |
| Like, and it's just like, hey, if you come at me with like some, like, it's Jennifer, J-Y-N-N-Y-F-Y-R, Jennifer. | |
| It's just like, why are you doing that to your kid? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Anyway, we're not cloning football players. | |
| Not yet. | |
| I mean, I'm happy that Hamlin's clone is here. | |
| But that's a video game I'm now pitching, like new Monster League football where you can clone your best player to keep him going. | |
| Okay, so if you can clone players, there'd have to be rules for how many and which ones. | |
| It'd be like the franchise tag on a player. | |
| You can only clone, let's say, two? | |
| That's fair, right? | |
| That seems fair. | |
| Alex, I'll allow for two clones on each team. | |
| And we used one on this player, again. | |
| I mean, I don't know what the team looks like. | |
| I'm just saying. | |
| With the cloning technology and the immortality tech and all the weird stuff that football's supposed to have, where that falls is always really bizarre. | |
| Again, Patton Oswalt has weird juice. | |
| Anyway, if only our proud football players would just stop listening to Donald Trump and taking the vaccine that he always loved. | |
| The vaccine that he created, single-handedly created, and gave to all the masses because he's great. | |
| Because unfortunately, apparently, that's still killing people according to QAnon. | |
| Mike, tell us, how great does Trump think the vaccine is this week? | |
| Still great. | |
| He had a recent interview where you could just tell that the interviewer was just sort of like, Donnie, baby, sweetie, honey. | |
| Your fan base is very much anti-vaccine, and we need you to be popular with them so we can use you as a cash cow to continue to promote our dumb shit. | |
| So, aren't you a little not happy about the vaccine at this point? | |
| And Trump was like, no, the vaccine is awesome and incredible, and it saved hundreds of millions of lives, and it's one of the greatest things I've ever done. | |
| It saved his life, like, there's no question in my mind. | |
| He, he has a ton of comorbidities and what he got. | |
| COVID twice. | |
| Like he got COVID once that we know of, uh, pre vaccine and they had to use, uh, | |
| they had to use Regeneron on him when it was, when they didn't even know if | |
| Regeneron was going to work or not, because he was, he was, he was, he was bad. | |
| He was in rough shape at that point. | |
| I mean, like, for all of the fact that he's Donald Trump and a dumb moron and all that stuff, you had doctors with the President of the United States in a hospital bed and they were just like, fuck, this guy isn't gonna make it if we don't hit him with the experimental juice and see if it's gonna work. | |
| So, I mean, like, yeah, that was, uh, And the fun part about it was apparently they've talked to like Mike Pence's staff, they're like, oh no, they didn't give us any heads up it was that bad. | |
| We had no idea. | |
| Mike Pence is just out like shooting, playing some golf, hanging out with mother, living the life. | |
| He had no idea he was going to get a knock on the door being like, hey buddy, you're the president now. | |
| Get to it, hop up. | |
| Of all the, like, things that stuck with Trump that he should, like, make sense and he should've believed in, why the vaccine? | |
| This is a guy that looked at the solar eclipse when they're like, do not look at the solar eclipse, it will damage your dum-dum eyes, and we just have video of him just being like, staring directly at the sun, and somehow the vaccine, like, Like, dartboard style? | |
| Like, got through and is stuck? | |
| Like, I like the vaccine. | |
| Or maybe vaccines are just so obviously good for humanity that even Donald Trump managed to get it right. | |
| Maybe, just maybe, anybody who still fails to get that right is pretty dumb. | |
| Yeah, I'm with you, but... | |
| Yeah, it's wild, because you have Ron Johnson, recently re-elected schmuck moron from Wisconsin coming out and being like, oh, these vaccines looking kind of suspect to me, not really sure what's going on there. | |
| And of course, Marjorie Taylor Greene is banging her shoe on the table and screaming and yelling about how we have to have investigations and all this stuff. | |
| Hashtag died suddenly and all this shit. | |
| I mean, did you see what the vaccine did to Jeremy Renner? | |
| Crazy. | |
| Yeah just terrible the terrible what happened that poor man as a result of the vaccine we love you Hawkeye recover to the best of your ability I guess but for what I hear half of your body was destroyed. | |
| Yeah so you now have this. | |
| Massive section of QAnon that is trying to discern exactly what it all means with Trump loving the vaccine because Trump can't honestly love the vaccine because that would be terrifying and bad. | |
| So you have this very bizarre discourse going on in the community where they try to explain why the vaccine that is incredibly bad and is killing everybody was a good thing for Trump to promote and acceptable. | |
| The general logic here is that the deep state unleashes COVID on us. | |
| Somehow Q and Trump didn't stop that. | |
| And then also somehow the deep state is able to force Trump into crippling lockdowns. | |
| And they are like, okay, now Trump, you're trapped into doing these lockdowns and like the global economy is going to collapse as a result of it all. | |
| And the only way you can stop this from like, you can make these lockdowns end is to release a vaccine that will kill everybody. | |
| Ha ha ha! | |
| We win! | |
| And then Trump's like, oh yeah? | |
| I'm gonna release the vaccine that's gonna kill everybody! | |
| Much quicker than you expected! | |
| And then the D.K.' 's like, no! | |
| You've tricked us! | |
| Now everyone's gonna die from the vaccine that you're gonna be happy about! | |
| Oh no, we lose! | |
| Yeah, it's killing all these athletes. | |
| It made that one soccer player die in a boat accident. | |
| I actually saw some piece of shit talking about the boat accident soccer player pretending like it was something to do with the vaccine. | |
| It was great. | |
| Yeah, it made that boat flip over. | |
| Yes. | |
| They've been making a lot of breakthroughs in a lot of cold cases where it turns out it was the vaccine. | |
| Like the Lady of the Dunes? | |
| They found out her identity and I'm here to break news on that we found out the identity of her killer. | |
| It was the vaccine. | |
| The boy in the box. | |
| 80 year old cold case. | |
| Boom. | |
| It was the vaccine. | |
| Yes. | |
| The Kennedy assassination, that was an actual reaction to the vaccine from JFK. | |
| All of that happened there, just the vaccine. | |
| All at once in that car. | |
| The governor, the president, just the vaccine. | |
| Yeah, but like the negative 46 or whatever his name is, is like standing in Dilly Plaza pointing at that metal cover or whatever. | |
| He's like, that's where that vaccine came from! | |
| Yes! | |
| We should just subtract one off of his name every time we mention him. | |
| When we get the negative one, we have to stop using him. | |
| He just doesn't... He just becomes negative? | |
| Yeah, he's just negative. | |
| Hopefully we never have to talk about him again and this will be the last time he ever comes up because he just happens to be tied to JFK, truth or not. | |
| I'm sure negative 45 will show up again. | |
| What's really funny is apparently Karma is now a huge part of their mythos. | |
| He's actually become a main character just by reporting on them. | |
| He and the rest of his group now are reacting to her so aggressively. | |
| I mean, I have to imagine that they really hate that she's a woman. | |
| I have to imagine that really sticks in their craw that one of their primary antagonists is a woman. | |
| Just because those goobers have to hate everything. | |
| I have to think they're happy for any attention. | |
| They're a bunch of idiots hanging out in Dealey Plaza, or were. | |
| And, like, they're a spinoff of a spinoff? | |
| Of Q? | |
| Like, and then they're even too weird for mainline QAnon? | |
| And one very dedicated person on Twitter is documenting they're crazy and they don't like her? | |
| They should be celebrating her! | |
| They should be, like, blessing her laurels! | |
| We wouldn't know anything about them or largely care about them if it wasn't for her, so... | |
| Yeah, and you know, for karma's sake, I'm glad that the cult that has sort of, like, decided to bring her into the fold of their mythos is, like, relatively small. | |
| And also very far away from her. | |
| Yes. | |
| None of them are going to go to Australia, because they probably don't even think Australia exists. | |
| Yeah, what are they going to do? | |
| How are they going to get to the planet of Australia? | |
| I don't even know if I could get there if I really wanted to, and I'm a liberal. | |
| Yes. | |
| I've got Moloch power, and I'm not sure if I can get a ticket on whatever spaceship brings you to Australia. | |
| They've got spiders the size of dinner plates and shit? | |
| It's wild. | |
| So we don't know. | |
| Trump is still pro-vaccine, but we don't know why it's stuck or why he's doing it. | |
| Somebody sat him down and were just like, hey, here are the numbers for the type of people that are going to die due to the vaccine. | |
| And as you can see, almost all of them support you and almost none of them support Biden. | |
| So the people that do not want this vaccine are just going to drop like flies. | |
| And those people are your people. | |
| And he was just like, OK, it's time to It's time to try to get them to vax out. | |
| I just think that like, he just looks at Operation Warp Speed and he thinks like | |
| that was something I did a bang up job on and I want credit for it. | |
| And I don't care how angry it makes like these idiot fans of mine. | |
| Cause my idiot fans have to vote for me because they hate my enemies even more. | |
| So fuck it. | |
| I'm going to toot my own horn here because I'm a narcissist. | |
| That does make sense. | |
| Narcissism, I believe. | |
| It makes sense. | |
| Broken clock, et cetera. | |
| We have to move on because we're running a little long in the boosh. | |
| So let's go lightning round. | |
| Let's get to our last boosh item of the week. | |
| And that is Nick Fuentes Come and Nick Fuentes Go, specifically from Twitter. | |
| Mike, what happened with Nick Fuentes, and is the story any deeper than he got back on Twitter and got kicked off immediately for reasons that are unknown? | |
| Oh, the reasons he got kicked off were quite well-known. | |
| I could guess. | |
| Yeah, he jumped into a Twitter space and began praising Hitler and the Unabomber and talked about Jews running the media. | |
| He just did all the stuff he was always going to do, and he was just like, thanks for letting me back on. | |
| Yeah, but free speech, etc. | |
| Yeah, oh yeah. | |
| So again, for reasons that are unknown. | |
| Yeah, totally. | |
| Elon Musk told us why he has banned Nick Fuentes. | |
| Certainly could not be over things he was saying. | |
| Nope, he didn't. | |
| Nope, it was just he let Nick back on. | |
| Nick started started shit again. | |
| Nick got kicked off again. | |
| And Elon just never explained. | |
| He hasn't explained any of it. | |
| He didn't explain why he let Nick back on. | |
| He didn't explain why he kicked Nick back off. | |
| It was just this thing where he was like, Hey! | |
| I run Twitter! | |
| I'm gonna flip a switch! | |
| Oh, that was a bad switch to flip. | |
| Switch back again. | |
| I've got a guess. | |
| It's because Kanye West can get in contact with Elon Musk directly, and Nick Fuentes is deep in with Kanye, or was, and I have to assume still is, and said, hey, Kanye, I would bet, even unbidden, was like, you should put Nick Fuentes back on Twitter. | |
| And Elon was like, yep. | |
| That's a great idea. | |
| This is this is I have no proof for any of this, but it makes a lot of sense. | |
| And he did. | |
| Nick Fuentes said hail Hitler and they were like, okay, back off you go. | |
| Yeah, pretty much. | |
| I think I've solved the mystery, Scooby. | |
| I love how so many conservatives, especially far-right conservatives, when they get into the club, they're just like, all right, time for me to choose my avatar. | |
| Which historical loser am I going to be really throwing it with? | |
| I don't know, the Confederacy, there's a lot of good stuff happening there because I really don't like black people, but ooh, Hitler, oh, I also really don't like Jewish people, ooh, and they both lost real bad, ooh, oh my god, I can't, oh, they're both so, oh, they both lost so hard, I can't. | |
| They were so right and so powerful, and yet they lost so badly, just crushing defeat. | |
| Literally, the moment that actual America stepped in, it was over for them. | |
| It was just like, America's here! | |
| They were like, we're gone! | |
| The place that's built on freedom and equality, no! | |
| They decided that they wanted things to be equal and that they amassed the most guns. | |
| Anyway, yeah, so Nick Fuentes is a piece of shit, and Twitter sucks, but we're still happy to see him get kicked off before Twitter fully explodes. | |
| More of that to come. | |
| Speaking of more on that to come, let's finally roll into our news segment! | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Q's in the News! | |
| Mothers, lock up your daughters, specifically your underage daughters. | |
| Matt Gaetz is back in the news. | |
| And I don't know why. | |
| So I'm just gonna toss it over to Mike to get us started. | |
| Mike, why are we talking about Matt Gaetz this week? | |
| Okay, so Matt Gaetz appears to be in the process of getting cawthorned. | |
| Um, and it was really kind of frustrating to me. | |
| I don't, cause I think I should have, I should have said this on the podcast if I didn't. | |
| And, but once they started him and the other like idiots in that caucus started like being shit weasels to McCarthy and refusing to make him speaker and pulling all these histrionics and shit. | |
| I just felt like somebody was going to drop a dime on Gates and try to get the ball rolling to like rat fuck him. | |
| And Rebecca Jones, who is someone, literally, I've seen a bunch of people on Twitter being like, do not trust this woman. | |
| She is not a reputable source for anything. | |
| Her putting this out there doesn't mean it's true. | |
| And then I saw Rick Wilson of the Lincoln Project being like, I'm not gonna confirm what's going on in Florida, but I also ain't gonna deny it. | |
| So, this is kind of one of those things where it's like, there's smoke. | |
| And is this an actual real thing, or is this a ratfuckery? | |
| I don't know. | |
| But Rebecca Jones posted this thing. | |
| Breaking! | |
| Matt Gaetz is believed to be having an affair with his press secretary, Jewel Valdez, according to three independent sources. | |
| Gaetz's office and his wife have not responded to requests for comments. | |
| This is not Gaetz's first affair, nor is it his first with a man. | |
| And this then led to a bunch of people talking about Nestor, his adopted child, who people are now like, oh, that's a grooming situation, and it's obviously darker and more horrible than we ever thought. | |
| And again, I totally feel like it's possible that Jones here is acting in bad faith, having been given information by other bad actors, but If this is true, whatever. | |
| Gates being bisexual, I don't give a shit. | |
| But this is how Republicans attack Republicans by smearing them as being not straight. | |
| It's just like, oh yeah, you're terrible about all these other things. | |
| You tell people not to take the vaccine. | |
| Underage girls, whatever. | |
| Who hasn't? | |
| Who among the Republican Party? | |
| Who hasn't paid an underage girl across state lines to have sex with? | |
| We've all done it before. | |
| Let's just move on. | |
| I do hate how immediately they're just like, Matt Gaetz is having an affair with his male secretary or aide or whatever and people are just like oh no and it's just like now I'm not saying anything but I mean doesn't he also have an adopted son? | |
| That's fucking so sketchy. | |
| Like, not knowing anything about the situation, like, you know, maybe a year from now, stuff is coming out and I'm eating crow about this. | |
| But for the moment, it just seems like a really dumb, gross Republican thing to do to just be like, yeah, he's super gay. | |
| And wait a minute, doesn't he have a son? | |
| I don't know. | |
| I'm just saying, like, I'm not saying anything, but you know what I'm saying. | |
| Exactly. | |
| Exactly. | |
| This is the full Cawthorne. | |
| This is just... | |
| All your reprehensible shit that you've done before. | |
| The Republican primary base loves it. | |
| What can we hit you with that will get you voted out on in a primary? | |
| Oh yeah, just accuse you of being gay and then bring up the groomer predator stuff and just do that little wink nod whisper campaign and Then we can destroy you while also damaging LGBTQ and implying that they're all pedophiles? | |
| Man. | |
| Talk about bonus points. | |
| Boom. | |
| Win. | |
| Win. | |
| Yeah. | |
| If it's true, it would be a thing where I'd be like, he's a scumbag for so many other reasons. | |
| I really wouldn't care about this. | |
| I just had a feeling that once these idiots pulled this stunt with all of them refusing to vote McCarthy in, I mean, Boebert's shitty performance in the primary put her on super thin ice anyways, but Gates trying to make himself the center of attention of like, I'll never vote for McCarthy, I'll resign my seat before I vote for him. | |
| That felt like he was putting himself in the crosshairs of a lot of people that would have an interest in seeing him removed from office and replaced by some milquetoast MAGA chud that will tow the McCarthy-Trump party line a lot nicer. | |
| We've been pretty cool about it so far, but let's jump in the sandbox and play. | |
| Do we think that this is what that guy sinisterly whispered at Matt Gaetz to get him to flip-flop? | |
| Oh, I've seen a few tweets about that. | |
| Someone, like, whispering to him about something. | |
| And some people were saying stuff like, I know about your aid, or what's the deal with Nestor. | |
| I've seen a lot of tweets on that level where people are just sort of like, yeah, we're coming for you. | |
| We know. | |
| So you're gonna... I mean, to be fair, like, granted, like, the clips I was seeing were out of context, because I'm not gonna sit there and watch this whole hearing or whatever, but... | |
| In those two minutes, Matt Gaetz looks like he gets godfathered straight up. | |
| He apparently has this big quote-unquote scandal coming down the pipeline, and that scandal being like, he's cheating on his wife, and it's like, yeah, most, like a lot of you guys have done that. | |
| I can't imagine that's going to sink your boat. | |
| And they're just like, dude, we mentioned it's with a guy! | |
| So, now that that's happening, what, like a month after he got godfather-whispered to and flip-flopped, so do you feel like, it sort of seems like a situation where maybe somebody else had that information and decided to leak it anyway, or maybe the person who godfathered him just decided to say fuck him anyway? | |
| Right. | |
| That's what it feels, that's what it really feels like to me. | |
| It just thinks that people are like, this guy's a loose cannon, Like, there's no need for this. | |
| We can just grab any state rep or state senator from his district in Florida and primary him and they'll do whatever DeSantis wants them to do and whatever Trump wants them to do. | |
| And this grandstanding frat boy who has plenty of legitimate scandals around him anyways, we can just Kick him out. | |
| We can just get him out of the boys club and get our... You know, the family thanks you for your service. | |
| Blam. | |
| Yes. | |
| And now you're dead. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| Yeah, it's like, we on this side have our own conspiracy theories. | |
| And man, this one doesn't feel like much of conspiracy theory. | |
| They just, they're like, you either fall down for this or we get you for something else you've done. | |
| I mean, it always seemed like it was just a matter of time for Gates, right? | |
| It seemed impossible up front that he wasn't already actually under investigation officially or behind bars or whatever for that sex trafficking thing. | |
| It sucks that this might be the thing that finally does amend because him being gay or bisexual is wildly irrelevant to a lot of shit. | |
| Which, again, that's even more foreshadowing. | |
| Look at me. | |
| I'm like a literary genius. | |
| But yeah, it sucks that this might be the thing that takes him down, but he's a piece of shit, so if he goes away, that's gotta be good for everyone anyway. | |
| When you fail in the correct direction. | |
| It's getting Al Capone for tax evasion! | |
| Whatever it happens to be that results in you getting your comeuppance, like, fine. | |
| You've accrued so much karmatic debt, I don't care how it gets paid. | |
| Just so long as it gets paid. | |
| And also, like, Al Capone, I wouldn't be surprised if Matt Gaetz has syphilis. | |
| Exactly. | |
| For the record, he might have syphilis. | |
| Has had. | |
| Probably not untreated. | |
| No, he probably likes to keep it around. | |
| He's a real freak like that. | |
| Anyway. | |
| Speaking of a real freak, nothing gets freakier than taking home secret documents you're not supposed to have access to outside of controlled environments. | |
| It does seem to be very trendy right now. | |
| Oh, dude, it is blowing up. | |
| It is the squirreling away of top secret classified documents challenge. | |
| Everybody, get ready to see who's doing the flossing dance for the challenge this week. | |
| Turns out, it's Mike Pence, I guess. | |
| Yes. | |
| For more information on this, Mike Raines, tell us about Mike Pence is doing a flossing dance? | |
| He's doing a Dougie? | |
| Oh, oh, he is doing all of these things. | |
| He's hitting the gritty, he's doing everything. | |
| All the latest trends now result in Mike Pence. | |
| And what's really funny about this is, Pence had been interviewed about this previously, and he was like, oh no, sir, no, no classified documents. | |
| Yeah, I never, not me, not once, like literally half of Jetta Wright saying, I've never taken... Nobody has programmed me to take illicit documents home, therefore I cannot do it. | |
| Yes. | |
| It's just word for word. | |
| I have never taken home classified documents. | |
| Like, we found classified documents at your house. | |
| So Pence is our latest and greatest person in the classified documents scandal. | |
| And the funny part about this is that on Truth Social, which Trump is still tethered to, even though there were all kinds of reports that he was about to make a Stratford return to Twitter any day now! | |
| Trump put out a truth declaring that Mike Pence is innocent and has done nothing wrong and leave Mike Pence alone. | |
| Which was a weirdly stirring endorsement of the man Trump tried to have killed a couple of years ago. | |
| And QAnon reacted to this by being like, why is Trump freaking out about Pence being innocent? | |
| Could it be maybe to make himself look better because he's currently sort of under investigation for trying to get that man killed a year ago? | |
| And so basically the consensus on QAnon was that Trump is doing this as like 5G chess to like force the deep state to continue to pour over the fact that like, unlike Biden and Pence, who once they found the documents were like, oh, oh dear, I have some documents. | |
| Let me give them back to you, Mr. Government. | |
| We'll take care of those right away. | |
| They should not have been my possession. | |
| My apologies. | |
| Trump was like, yeah, I got these documents and I ain't fucking giving them back to you, you pieces of shit. | |
| How do you like them apples? | |
| Oh, what, you're gonna raid my fucking estate slash hotel slash whatever it is? | |
| Oh, that's bullshit, you clowns, you pricks. | |
| Besides the fact that Biden and Pence kind of followed the rules on this shit and Trump didn't, they just think that Trump wants the government to come after him because he's going to hit him with the jujitsu and reveal more documents in more people's hands. | |
| One of the things that makes me laugh so much when I read all this shit that QAnon people post is that Biden is the president. | |
| He is, he should be literally, they should just wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, seething with rage at Joe Biden, the evil deep state president. | |
| But I've seen a bunch of these guys being like, Oh man, now that Trump's like doing this shit. | |
| Remember when he was talking about presidential libraries? | |
| Oh man, they're going to get Obama on the documents. | |
| Yeah, it's going to be Obama. | |
| And it's like, What would matter if they got Obama on the documents? | |
| Like he was president a dog's age ago. | |
| His political relevance is showing up on TV to make you mad. | |
| Because you get to be like, Oh, there's that black guy that was president once. | |
| God damn it. | |
| I'm so mad that that happened. | |
| But it's like, Yeah, no, sorry. | |
| Like, in their very minor defense, they are the president, vice president, president, and president. | |
| Everything that touched their desk was probably in some way classified. | |
| But there are flavors of classified that we've talked about. | |
| And then there's the reasons why you took them. | |
| Importantly, Trump 100% took them, at a minimum, to brag. | |
| Like, to show, look at these cool nuclear secrets I have. | |
| That's the best interpretation of what he took, and his shit was extra double secret classified top tippity top. | |
| Although, does this count as being devil's advocate? | |
| If so, I guess somebody has to do it, so it might as well be me. | |
| I feel like this means we should probably get an audit of all of our top-secret documents, right? | |
| Like, I feel like whoever's in, like, the archives or whatever, whoever's responsible for that, whatever you're doing, stop that, and let's do a little top-secret document audit. | |
| Let's make sure that we have all of our nuclear secrets and shit, like, where they're supposed to be. | |
| Yes! | |
| A hundred percent! | |
| There's gotta be a whole crew of people whose jobs is Uh, hey, where are the nuclear secrets? | |
| Like, can you touch them right now? | |
| No? | |
| Okay, go find them. | |
| Because he had fucking interest in a box at Mar-a-Lago! | |
| Like, I don't know what, uh, old Joe had next to the Camaro in the garage. | |
| Locked garage, as he let us all know. | |
| But... | |
| Like, to devil's advocate a little, and I'm not saying it was okay, he's the fucking president. | |
| Everything he touches is like, uh, well, that's kind of classified. | |
| So, but like, and I don't know what Pence had either. | |
| Maybe it's not a big deal, but. | |
| I remember when Clinton was president, twice, they lost components of the nuclear football. | |
| So there's this part of the nuclear football called, like, the biscuit, and you have to, like, insert that into the other thing that makes the nukes kill everybody. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And apparently the biscuit went, like, missing for, like, three months during Clinton's administration, and they didn't want to tell the military they fucked up. | |
| And then at one point, the military found out. | |
| And they were like, what the fuck are you doing? | |
| And then they, like, fixed it. | |
| And they were like, please do not lose our ability to launch either a first strike or a retaliatory strike against Russia should they decide to end the world. | |
| Because it'd be really embarrassing to just find out, oh wait, only America's going to get blown off the map. | |
| Mutually assured destruction no longer applies because we're not going to destroy Russia. | |
| They just win. | |
| They just win the nuclear war. | |
| Oops. | |
| This kind of clown shoes bullshit's been going on for forever. | |
| Yeah, it's, it's baffling. | |
| Like, I don't know, the Secret Service has a lot of jobs, but maybe they just need to at the end of every day and like, okay, Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, empty out your pockets. | |
| Hold on to your bag. | |
| No, those can't leave the building. | |
| Stay here. | |
| Like, there was a brief period where I worked at GameStop, and at the end of every shift, hell knows, we had to stand in front of the camera and get patted down to make sure we weren't taking anything from Big Mean Company. | |
| And apparently we just need to do that with our presidents and our vice presidents. | |
| Just like, open up your bag, what do you have? | |
| No, that can't leave the building. | |
| Someone's gotta do it. | |
| Might as well be the Secret Service. | |
| The moral of the story is to make sure you know where your shit is and keep your shit secure. | |
| And for more on that, let's talk about our good friend George Santos, if that is his real name, which it may not be. | |
| Uh, another, another dynamite, uh, I mean, God, what a, what an absolute hit maker this guy is. | |
| Thank God, thank God somehow he got elected into office. | |
| Uh, because this week, yet another insane George Santos lie slash scandal. | |
| Mike, drumroll please, what do we have this week? | |
| So what we originally had, which was George Santos basically being outed as a Brazilian drag queen named Katara Revenge. | |
| Santos has, originally Santos denied this story, even though photos of the drag queen and him are literally the office meme of they're the same picture. | |
| It's just, it's him. | |
| There's like no two ways about this. | |
| And apparently after that he then just sort of claimed that it was a carnival or a festival and he was just quote-unquote having fun. | |
| So he doesn't know why everyone's like so mad that this wasn't a long-term thing that he did even though He was wearing a pretty elaborate dress and makeup and everything in this quote-unquote one time that he did this. | |
| Which again, no one's judging you, George. | |
| All the other terrible things you've done, this is sort of like the funny, silly, hilarious thing that you've done. | |
| And after this whole thing came out, he also claimed that he was the target of an assassination attempt. | |
| Um, which I is just like, I don't know who would want to or who has tried to kill this poor man. | |
| But the attempt on his life failed, but he did have his shoes stolen from him while he was on 5th Avenue. | |
| So. | |
| The assassins were like, damn it, we couldn't kill him, but quick, grab his shoes. | |
| And then they yoinked his shoes and ran away. | |
| And we're like, ah. | |
| The assassin appears to be like a Japanese high school bully from an anime. | |
| Uh, yeah. | |
| I mean, wow. | |
| Just another wild turn for this guy. | |
| My advice to George Santos would just be, like, I've seen the video and the pictures. | |
| Dude, just go back to Brazil and be a drag queen. | |
| You look like you were fuckin' lovin' it. | |
| You look like you're having the time of your life down there, what? | |
| You look like you're having fun, and it's probably the coolest thing you've done. | |
| You could just lean into it. | |
| Uh, but no, you're on the right, and this is, like, you guys are constantly protesting drag queen story time and shit like that, and using it in your groomer narratives, so... How are you a Brazilian drag queen and then you get into conservative American politics? | |
| Yeah, that pipeline, oh boy, I don't... I want a completely... The human brain is, like, impressive and terrifying in equal measure. | |
| I desperately want the unauthorized biography of this guy so we could just track his journey because it sounds utterly fascinating. | |
| And also, he disclosed to the Federal Elections Committee that a bunch of money that was given to his campaign as a quote-unquote personal loan from himself to the campaign wasn't actually his own money. | |
| And he hasn't explained where the money came from, but it came from somewhere that was not him. | |
| So another little oopsie-doopsie on his paperwork. | |
| Well, he also, I think it was yesterday, put a POW MIA flag out in front of his office just for like, no reason. | |
| And he definitely did not serve in the military at any time. | |
| And so it seems like a little weird virtue signaling, whatever, like he's a prisoner of war. | |
| It's weird. | |
| The only thing I take away from that was I saw a bunch of people on QAnon Media talking about how like they're like, oh now no embassy is gonna fly any flag but the American flag so there's gonna be no BLM flags or gay pride flags and finally we're getting to like the like The good stuff, and immediately in my head I was like, the first little sub-flag that ever got flown below the American flag was the POW-MIA flag, and that was a hardcore right-wing, support-the-troops, like, you bastards, turn your back on us in Vietnam kind of thing. | |
| But then Donald Trump came along, and now they hate prisoners of war, remember? | |
| Oh right, yes! | |
| He prefers his war heroes uncaptured. | |
| Yes! | |
| On the list of things that should have just been the end of it, like right there. | |
| I just love the idea of, in my head, I'm just thinking of the POW MIA flag company hearing Trump say that. | |
| They're like, God damn it! | |
| Guy just throws a chair through a window. | |
| He's like, we're ruined! | |
| Our new evil overlord of the Republican Party hates POWs. | |
| Our flag sales are going to plummet. | |
| Son of a bitch. | |
| They create a new flag of like the silhouette of a soldier and it just says, don't get captured. | |
| If you do, you suck. | |
| That's the new flag. | |
| We fly below the American flag. | |
| Speaking of things that should have been the end of a political career and simultaneously getting back on topic. | |
| Like, how many wild... At this point, this guy's like that weird politician character from Parks and Rec, where it's just the most outlandish, insane scandal stuff, dropping literally possible fake identities, and falsified credentials, and everything top to bottom is all a scam, and also secretly a Brazilian drag queen. | |
| Is this the end of Santos? | |
| And if not, does he have a cooler or weirder skeleton in his closet than this? | |
| It seems impossible. | |
| At this point, he's like a clown car of scandals. | |
| It just never stops. | |
| The next scandal, it's unrelenting. | |
| I do think the man is incapable of shame, and he is just going to just Let this blow over, and unless the Republican Party actually gets the spine to actually vote to expel him from the House, which I think McCarthy is loath to do because he has such a tiny majority as it is, and if he were to generate an open seat there, the Democrats would aggressively pounce on it, and it would be a very hard-fought campaign for that seat. | |
| So I feel like he's just gonna put his head down and be a representative until this time two years from now, where he will have been a lame duck, because whenever the Republican primary in New York is, he will lose. | |
| I mean, that will be one of those elections they call as soon as the polls close. | |
| And now it is 8 o'clock in New York, and George Santos has lost. | |
| Yes, we are reporting, having looked at no votes, George Santos has lost his run for re-election. | |
| He is, uh... He just jumps into the ring and goes, 1, 2, 3! | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| Whoever was on the mat, like, sits up and is all, like, bewildered. | |
| Like, looking around like, oh, what just happened? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Vince McMahon just ran in here wearing a ref shirt and just gave us a quick three count. | |
| That was that. | |
| Yep. | |
| Boom. | |
| Yeah, it is. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So I honestly think that because Republicans are spineless and Santos is shameless, that we are going to have two glorious years of this idiot as a representative. | |
| And again, so two years of him actually holding office and a year And like, I don't know, seven months of him not being a lame duck before he is crushed in the primary. | |
| So that's my take. | |
| I mean, I'll be stuck. | |
| Joke's on you. | |
| They're going to kick his ass out tomorrow because I happen to be breaking news. | |
| I heard that he might be having an affair with his secretary. | |
| Who's a m-m-m-m-man! | |
| Man! Oh yeah, that's, that's, yeah. That's all. That's all. | |
| That's the line. | |
| That's the only line you can cross where Republicans will finally, finally get a little, like, put their back into it and be like, OK, now it's time we got to move here, because that's unacceptable. | |
| Because it really, I do feel like in a lot of ways, the Republican Party just cannot | |
| believe how quickly they lost on the issue of gay civil rights. | |
| It's got to blow their minds because they were like, hey, we were stoking racism and | |
| hatred of black people for over a century and that was winning us votes in elections | |
| and everything was going great. | |
| Then we saw gay people wanting rights and the Democrats started to warm up to it | |
| We were like, oh man, now we're going to get like a century of hate and gay people. | |
| It's going to be great. | |
| And then it's like smash cut to basically from like the nineties to now, it was like less than 30 years. | |
| And now everyone's like, yeah, gay people are just people. | |
| We're all cool with it. | |
| We're okay. | |
| And Republicans were like, no! | |
| How can you be okay with it? | |
| We had decades of votes lined up for this! | |
| No! | |
| Why are you so tolerant, America? | |
| Stop it! | |
| No, you're wrong! | |
| Yeah, now they're fighting it on a state-by-state basis. | |
| Yeah, it's just, they just cannot believe that America was just sort of like, you know that shit we did to black people? | |
| That was wrong. | |
| We are not going to repeat that with gay people. | |
| We're going to get up to speed on equality a lot better this time around. | |
| Again, apologies to black people. | |
| We were terrible and that was awful, but yeah, we're going to be nicer to the gay people. | |
| And then the Republicans were just like, Our only brand is tax cuts for the rich and bigotry. | |
| You're taking away one of our two cudgels and the tax cuts for the rich aren't really that popular. | |
| We got to kind of sneak that in under the bigotry. | |
| And it's like, yeah, you suck. | |
| You're a terrible party. | |
| You shouldn't exist. | |
| What do you even stand for that's even remotely good? | |
| Like nothing Republicans bring to the table is acceptable. | |
| Well, following that up with the end of our news segment for the week, we're going to continue on our When Will It End watch, but this time our eyes turn to Twitter. | |
| Elon Musk's new private sandbox that he can't stop pooping in, Twitter. | |
| So what's going on with the Twitter spiral of death this week? | |
| I didn't hear anything about Twitter's bad financials. | |
| I haven't seen this one. | |
| Yeah, so there have been reports out that year to date, That they have lost about like 91% of their advertiser revenue income. | |
| That's a large percentage. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. So they are, advertisers are fleeing the site left, right and centered. | |
| They're just absolutely running around. | |
| Actually, I'm looking at the headlight now. | |
| It says, ad spending on Twitter falls by over 70% in December. | |
| So yeah, so year to date from last December, two years ago to last December, The people paying Twitter for ads declined by over 70%. | |
| So, um, Elon and his... Let's give Nick Puentes another shake. | |
| Kanye, come back here for a few minutes. | |
| Get a cup of coffee. | |
| Oh, wait. | |
| Oh, no. | |
| His whole act apparently is literal poison for advertisers and they're just sort of like, no, we, we, we don't want to be a party into this shit. | |
| So, um, thank you for your service, Elon, but we will be taking our money elsewhere. | |
| And, uh, Since that's the only way Twitter is doing anything involving monetization, this is how you would say incredibly bad for the company. | |
| What? | |
| The blue check marks aren't bringing in the money? | |
| Weird. | |
| It's really odd. | |
| I see now because another headline says 71%, so that's where I got the 91% from my stupid brain. | |
| Either way, those are catastrophic numbers if you've lost that much in advertisement. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. Money. Like anything over, like, anything in the double digits loss in advertising is | |
| like enough to send a boardroom into fucking panic. So. | |
| Yeah. Yeah. So there, yeah. So Twitter is doing a real bang up job. | |
| Elon, again, for everyone who forgets this, Elon was forced into buying Twitter because when he was just swinging his malformed penis around screaming, I'm the richest man in the world! | |
| I can buy this dumb social media platform if I so choose to do so! | |
| And then Twitter was like, hey, would you buy us for $44 billion? | |
| He's like, sure, I could do that. | |
| I'll even sign this contract, like, waiving my rights to, like, do any due diligence about this. | |
| Boom. | |
| There's my name on the contract. | |
| See, I just bought it. | |
| And then he's like, suckers, no, I didn't. | |
| And they're like, no, you put your name on the contract. | |
| This is Delaware. | |
| Delaware enforces contract law incredibly aggressively. | |
| You are buying this now. | |
| And I was like, no, I'm not. | |
| They're like, yeah, you are. | |
| And he's like, fuck, I'm buying it. | |
| So, like, just he did not want to own this company that he is now | |
| that is now an albatross around his neck that he is just being dragged, dragged down with he is | |
| fucked and Twitter is also fucked. So I can't wait for our new ownership on Twitter in the next 18 | |
| months or so when Elon sells this thing for literal pennies on the dollar because there's no way he's | |
| getting out of this without like getting absolutely annihilated. Sell to the Saudis like the | |
| WWE. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| No, it's not going to be it's not going to be worth enough to be sold to the Saudis. | |
| It's going to be more like Warner Media Group is going to pick it up. | |
| They snatched up all those websites. | |
| It's going to be like, ah, I remember Twitter. | |
| Remember back when Twitter was good, before it was all listicles and shit? | |
| The Top 10 Reasons Why Twitter Failed. | |
| Number 5 will shock you. | |
| Start slideshow. | |
| Click through to multiple pages worth of ad revenue. | |
| Please do it. | |
| Please, please. | |
| We've determined that people can look at 8 ads for every 10 posts before they go insane. | |
| So, here we go. | |
| Oh, like, hey, uh, Elon, again, put me on the payroll. | |
| First of all, give me one million United States dollars, and I'll stop talking about your deformed penis, because it's deformed. | |
| Uh, and also, then put me on payroll as a good idea coordinator, because here's my good idea, uh, just make it a porn thing. | |
| Like, it's, it's, what it used to be is dying, but people still, still love, love boobies and big peens, so like, get it, get, get after it. | |
| Tumblr really fumbled the bag. | |
| I know that they're trying to defumble that bag, but Elon could swoop in there and make Twitter a dedicated porn thing, and then ten years from now we'd be reading a Wired article about, like, the porn rebranding of Twitter! | |
| What a genius masterstroke! | |
| After the Dallas Cowboys lost their football game this past weekend, Cowgirls was trending on Twitter, and literally it was all Stephen A. Smith and pornography. | |
| It was literally just scrolling through it, it's just Stephen A. Smith swagger walking, cut to porn, more Stephen A. Smith, more porn. | |
| I thought you were going to say that Twitter is already a porn thing, because after the Dallas Cowboys lost, they went on Twitter and totally fucked their Which was just the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life. | |
| Oh boy. | |
| Just what an abs... Oh my god. | |
| Just... Take it, Dak! | |
| Take all of it! | |
| Straight from the franchise, baby! | |
| Well, and the thing was, is like, Dak was like the guy that got hit the third hardest on that play. | |
| Because Ezekiel Elliott, the poor guy that snapped the ball, got trucked. | |
| Then Dak is getting killed as he throws an absolute hospital ball. | |
| Oh no, I'm not talking about a clip, I was talking about what the organization tweeted out about how it was just like... Oh yeah, now I remember! | |
| It's Dak Prescott's fault because he sucks. | |
| Oh yeah, now I remember why you're sucking on... Oh my god! | |
| Yeah, that was wild. | |
| And some people were like, well, that wasn't that bad. | |
| And someone was saying they could have phrased this and just saying that the Cowboys had a couple turnovers. | |
| No, they did not say that. | |
| They said Dak Prescott had a couple turnovers. | |
| Yeah, they literally threw him under the bus. | |
| I mean, there's no reading that any other way. | |
| You would have to be full of, like, weapons-grade hopium. | |
| You would have to be a Dallas Cowboys fan, is what I'm saying, to not read that in the way that it was intended, which is the organization coming down and just being like, we lost and it is Dak Prescott's fault. | |
| It is a team-based sport, but if truly, if we could point the finger to one player who really fucked at this game, it's our franchise quarterback. | |
| Yup. | |
| Wow. | |
| Sick. | |
| Bowl of strategy cotton. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| It was wild. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| That last play just seared into my head so much, I forgot that they went on social media and destroyed him afterwards. | |
| Yeah, I mean, the clip is fun, but nobody hit old Dak as hard as his own organization did on social media. | |
| So again, maybe that spirit can continue, but the porn version, if Elon really wants to turn this one around, because his bold plan for Twitter was to buy it. | |
| And then come in and just be like, it's not making enough money. | |
| I'm going to take all the steps necessary to make it make way less money. | |
| In fact, I would like to have it make so little money that it's a total loss for me and I have to either sell it or... If he was a genius, or if I was one of the people who was inclined to believe that he's a genius, which I am not, but if I was one of these Elon Stans, I would think for sure that he is the producers-ing this thing. | |
| At some point, he figured out a way that he could turn this huge disaster into some sort of, like, tremendous money-making scheme. | |
| And he's just like, it starts with buying Twitter and then cratering it. | |
| You think he's trying to do a Producers? | |
| He's coming to make it fail? | |
| Yes. | |
| Springtime for Fuentes. | |
| Goddammit, I was about to say, it's springtime for Twitler, was what I was going to go for. | |
| Those are both good. | |
| I like the Fuentes one, it's a nice callback. | |
| Before we go to the mailbag, I want to peek behind the curtain. | |
| L routinely writes up our show notes, and I have here Limity Santos' A Series of Unfortunate Lies, and that cracked me up quite a bit. | |
| However many listeners we have, I'll leave it behind the curtain there a lot. | |
| He's usually tried to crack us up, and it worked this time. | |
| Nailed it. | |
| Speaking of nailing it, let's see how well our wonderful fans have nailed our mailbag this year. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. Four years worth of mail. | |
| No big deal. | |
| ZenaFact asks, what's the Q-Universe's take on Mr. Tate, the top G? | |
| After watching several right-wing figures defending a human trafficker and sex criminal, I'm curious as to what they are saying. | |
| Um, they have the mindset that he is being set up and framed because he says all the magic words they want him to say. | |
| Like, I'm being trapped with the Matrix! | |
| And, like, I always knew that it would come for me. | |
| And it's like, yo, we literally have you on tape saying that you're moving to Romania because their laws are really lax and you can probably get away with sex trafficking there. | |
| And then, oh no, it turns out you couldn't! | |
| Son of a biscuit! | |
| And Tate's now like, oh, the prison I'm in is so crummy and inhumane and it's awful. | |
| It's like, again, you went to this country because its criminal laws were really scummy. | |
| I wonder what prison's like in Romania. | |
| I wonder how well his alpha energy played when he got into that prison. | |
| Because imagine if he had gotten arrested in New York City or whatever. | |
| He'd be like, yeah, I'm an alpha, walking into this prison, no big deal, alpha. | |
| And it's just like, dude, like half a dozen people are here because they have just freshly murdered people. | |
| Get out of here. | |
| Yeah, I have to imagine your fellow inmates in a Romanian prison are not of the soft type. | |
| They're probably pretty bad dudes if the Romanian police were like, yeah, we can't let this guy on the streets. | |
| This guy is such bad news that we have to get him. | |
| So, and again, I think that the main reason why Tate got pinched by these people was that he was just so out and proud about the crimes he was committing that Romania was like, well, if this guy is gonna, like, literally give us a black eye by being like, oh, come to Romania! | |
| It's so corrupt! | |
| You can sex traffic without any possible persecution! | |
| They were like, We don't want that being part of our tourism campaign. | |
| Like the Andrew Tate, come here so you can exploit women for profit. | |
| Let's put the kibosh on that. | |
| Let's maybe shut that down. | |
| But because he talks about the Matrix, and his enemies, and he hates women, all that kind of stuff. | |
| Oh, and he also was ranting and raving about Balenciaga. | |
| Tate was kind of getting into that Illuminati shit before he got busted, talking about how Hollywood's full of pedophiles, and they've got the symbolism and the bad stuff. | |
| When he got arrested, it was just proof that the deep state was out to get him and silence him. | |
| And generally speaking, most of the QAnon promoters would do the whole thing where they're like, no, I'm not so sure about these charges, but what I do know, and then getting into the whole thing about Tate being a great truth teller and blah, blah, blah. | |
| It's like, that's their kind of their scam. | |
| Yeah, I mean, Tate has literally been recorded saying, I raped this underage girl, so anyone defending him, see Keemstar, just has their head in the sand. | |
| Just, like, bafflingly lost, or wants to, like, get in on his grift. | |
| But back to the question, predictably, the Cuneiverse's take on it is that obviously it can't be true because he is a non-liberal white male. | |
| So therefore, how could he be doing these crimes? | |
| And he says the Matrix a lot. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| So, yep. | |
| Thank you for that question. | |
| Pancake Peasants asks, what's your hottest Warhammer hammer take? | |
| Also, yes, we want to see your minis. | |
| That's more directed at you, Sarge, I would assume. | |
| Oh, what's my hottest Warhammer take? | |
| I think my hottest Warhammer take is mostly the fact that people don't get the fact that it's skewering religion and basically the right in America. | |
| The God Emperor and all of the heresies and all that kind of stuff are bad things. | |
| It's all bad. | |
| Yes. | |
| There are no good guys in Warhammer. | |
| Everyone sucks. | |
| That's the point of the story. | |
| But so many people are like, oh, the Space Marines fighting for our freedom. | |
| It's like, no. | |
| They're fighting for a theocracy that's oppressive and evil, and crushes free speech. | |
| I mean, everyone sucks on this mythos, and that's the rub. | |
| That's the dystopian commentary they're going for with this. | |
| And if you don't see it otherwise, you're wrong. | |
| The Emperor literally said, no religions, and then he died and was put on the Golden Throne, and they immediately deified him and turned him into a religion. | |
| Uh, so, my hottest take. | |
| A stupid third rail for the worst people in the community is female space marines, and that a lot of people think there should be female space marines at this point, because there were dumb lore reasons why there aren't, but, like, no one wants boob armor, they just want female models in the line and that I think there should be | |
| female space marines but also Warhammer 40k is satire so the fact that there aren't is | |
| yet more commentary but I don't think we necessarily need to make commentary with little plastic | |
| war men. | |
| So, I guess my hottest take is female Space Marines, yes. | |
| That if we had enough of an audience, that would definitely like, rustle the jimmies of some of the worst people. | |
| I can understand that, but I mean, we have nuns with guns. | |
| We have an entire faction of women doing all kinds of crazy war shit. | |
| that and they have the lore that like no man in the in the religion shall bear a weapon so then they just gave all the women the guns yeah so i mean like i i forget what their actual name is but i sisters of battle or the yeah but there's like a latin name adeptus sororitas there it is that's the name i was looking for yes but yeah but uh the sisters of battle slash nuns with guns like like they're one of my favorite factions because they're just like It's like, yeah, that's exactly how humanity would get around a weapons restriction on males, is just give them to the females and just have them start killing everybody. | |
| Yeah, and then they play completely differently from any Space Marine chapter because they refuse to use psykers because they're part of the Ordo Hereticus. | |
| Specifically, they're supposed to hunt Rogue Psykers and Witches. | |
| So they refuse to use Psykers. | |
| And almost all Space Marine chapters have Librarians, which are Psykers. | |
| They play completely differently. | |
| So, yeah, I guess if you do want to see my minis, they're not particularly good. | |
| But I have, I think, like 1500 points worth of Eldar at this point. | |
| I will post a picture on my Twitter that I don't use a lot. | |
| And QAnon should love this as the Elder because they actually have people that can gaze through the time streams to see the paths to victory for the Elder the exact same way Q can! | |
| Yeah, that is part of their game mechanic. | |
| You get strands of fate dice you roll at the beginning and you set them aside so you can change out dice rolls later. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Uh, yeah, they have Farseers, and that's their whole thing, and they had a big legendary Farseer who only fucked up once, and like, kinda brought back a death god, but he was trying to do that, just not in the way it ended up happening. | |
| DeportGamers asks, if you haven't already, have you considered doing an episode on MAGA communists like Hinkle and Haas? | |
| I don't know Haas. | |
| I've barely come in contact with Hinkle. | |
| I mean, God, can you imagine that dystopia? | |
| Yeah. Well, it's basically this is like the kind of genre of | |
| Glenn Greenwald and Michael Tracy and Talibi who got into the Twitter files. These people who pose as leftists who | |
| are like now Mr. Trump, who I do not support. And then they | |
| explain why Trump's actually righteous and good and why the people | |
| who don't like Trump are evil and bad. It's like that kind of | |
| like bullshit anti-democrat leftism where you pretend that you're on the left, but you just end up hating Democrats | |
| who are the only left center party in America. So you're only | |
| helping the right by doing what you're doing. And you know this, | |
| but you do it anyways, because fuck you, I got a fucking | |
| Patreon to show for. And so, like | |
| That's the way these people kind of operate. | |
| And I see so many QAnon people talking about how even a committed leftist like Glenn Greenwald can see what's going on here. | |
| Or even Matt Talibi, who is a hardcore leftist, is proving Elon's point about Twitter being a cesspool of liberal lies. | |
| And it's like, no. | |
| These people branded themselves as liberals just to attack Democrats from the left. | |
| But they just say the same right-wing talking points, all of it. | |
| But then they'll just be like, oh yeah, I don't hate gay people. | |
| Or, oh, I think women should have access to abortions. | |
| Or, I like weed! | |
| They just have this one little issue that makes them quote-unquote lefts. | |
| And it's like, no, you're not. | |
| Like, fuck off. | |
| It's bullshit. | |
| I'll have to dig into those other guys a little bit more. | |
| Maybe that'll be like a more committed thing I'll do behind the Patreon paywall. | |
| So Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics. | |
| Boom. | |
| Ad plug. | |
| But that, you know, because like on these, like the weekly show, it's more like the current news. | |
| So unless one of those guys like really makes a splash for themselves and makes it onto our radar, I'm probably not ready to do a deep dive digging into MAGA QAnon leftists. | |
| Yeah, for regular weekly content. | |
| It sort of balls in their court to get the shine. | |
| We've morphed into sort of a topical news podcast over time. | |
| It actually took us like six months before that happened, and then we've been doing that ever since. | |
| So that was like a year and a half ago, whatever. | |
| It took cue stopping posting on the regular. | |
| Yeah, Q fucked off and then it turns out that in the wake of Q fucking off a big insurrection happened and some other like very Q related stuff. | |
| It was very easy to stop just spreading those, like busting on the word of Q, which is still very dumb. | |
| And we can get back to doing that for bonus content at some point. | |
| But yeah, that would require actually getting together to record bonus content, which is coming, dear readers, I assure you. | |
| Yeah. | |
| But I'm back in the solo bonus content stuff, so... Yeah, but nobody wants that, Mike. | |
| Nobody cares. | |
| Oh, I'm sorry. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| Everyone's here for Sarge. | |
| Yep, this is true. | |
| For sure. | |
| It's my fault. | |
| It's my fault. | |
| So, Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor, asks, what's your estimate on Mike Lindell finally running out of money after spending years funding grifters who can smell a gullible mark, who will believe any tall tale you feed him so long as it ends with the words, and that's how Trump was made president again. | |
| Well, I think, as a show, our fondest hope would be if he just gave his last few dozens of millions to us. | |
| Yes. | |
| Double the cricket, Mike Lindell. | |
| Play both sides. | |
| Show that you're a real, true American patriot who's willing to have a rational discourse and give us the rest of your millions of dollars. | |
| I'm in favor of that, and please do it before the Dominion lawsuit destroys you. | |
| Because as much as the right-wing grifters are just sucking on the teat of Mike Lindell, that's kind of a slow burn. | |
| If he loses that Dominion lawsuit, he's probably looking at Alex Jones levels of beatdown on that front. | |
| Well, that has nothing to do with this. | |
| We have always loved Dominion, and we've always said that we love Dominion. | |
| Yes. | |
| And to any lawyers in the future who might be listening to this, God knows we all love Dominion. | |
| And we think that their systems are very secure and safe. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, that train is coming. | |
| Gonna pull over the station eventually for Mike Lindell. | |
| Hell, I mean, Fox News is scared about their exposure to the Dominion lawsuits that they're facing, and they got more money than Lindell does, so... To whoever Dominion's competitors are in the future, to you I say that your system sucks and you're very insecure, and you helped elect a fraudulent president, and, you know, let's get back to Dwayne the Rock Johnson 2030, or whatever. | |
| Yes. | |
| Johnson 28. | |
| That's the dream now. | |
| No, it's 2030. | |
| It's two years into a presidency because we have to strip the presidency from a sham, you see. | |
| Oh, right. | |
| And we're going to replace it with Dwayne The Rock Johnson, a friendly face that we can all trust. | |
| And the left would be into his policy and the right would not care because he's The Rock. | |
| Yes! | |
| He's the rock that will unify us. | |
| Here's to hoping. | |
| I mean, can you imagine the average American conservative actively rebuffing one of the world's most popular and famous wrestlers of all time? | |
| Hey, Donald Trump's a stone-cold stunner, so I mean... And it was awful! | |
| And he got elected! | |
| Yes! | |
| The rock had much better cells. | |
| The rock is definitely the better choice here. | |
| Pink Floyd's 50th anniversary for Dark Side of the Moon recently started another round of Go Broke Bullshit, so what Tell Me You've Never Listened to the Band Without Telling Me is better, Pink Floyd or Rage Against the Machine? | |
| Rage Against the Machine, for sure. | |
| Rage is what I kind of grew up with. | |
| I've never gotten into Pink Floyd that much. | |
| I'm just gonna be up front here. | |
| I just think Rage Against the Machine is music I enjoy more than Pink Floyd. | |
| I don't want to listen to Pink Floyd. | |
| Like, I've listened to a lot of Pink Floyd. | |
| My grandmother loved them. | |
| And I did the thing when I first discovered weed, the person getting me into weed was just We gotta get high listening to Darkseid, man. | |
| And then, of course, the second course of that was like, we gotta watch Darkseid. | |
| We gotta watch Wizard of Oz sing to Darkseid while getting high, man. | |
| So I've done all that shit, and I'm here to tell you I could go the rest of my life without listening to Pink Floyd and be perfectly fine. | |
| But if I had to go the rest of my life without hearing Rage Against the Machine, I would be slightly bummed out. | |
| I was like, I could jump in like a little bit. | |
| Let me squeeze one more in real quick. | |
| One for the road. | |
| I've never listened to all that much Pink Floyd, so, like, it would have to be Rage, just for me, because I, like Elle, have listened to quite a bit more Rage Against the Machine. | |
| I think the lead singer of Rage Against the Machine is an asshole, but neither here nor there. | |
| I enjoy their music more than Pink Floyd's. | |
| Like, Although, to be fair, I think the spirit of the question, or I guess actually the intention of the question, is who's missing the point more. | |
| And that is a little harder to answer, like taking your preference out of it, because Rage Against the Machine put themselves in a position where they themselves are sort of like, They're very commercially successful for a band that is about Raging Against the Machine. | |
| And I'm certainly not the first person to make this point, obviously, because it's just very obvious when you're just like, it's like Raging Against the Machine on their mega arena tour, like, like, you know, multitask platinum record selling, deeply entrenched in the machine, Raging Against the Machine! | |
| Yeah. | |
| Ticketmaster invites you to buy Raging Against the Machine! | |
| Like, you know what I mean? | |
| Raging is a machine sponsored by Truly. | |
| It's like, okay, cool. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I, yeah. | |
| I, but also I think it's also the point that, uh, people are like, I can't believe Pink Floyd is like woke. | |
| And then they're like, I'm listening to rage. | |
| It's like rage. | |
| Rage was like so left. | |
| They hated Democrats and Republicans equally up until Trump. | |
| And then rage was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | |
| We got to vote for Biden, guys. | |
| Like even us, the nutty guys that were supporting Ralph Nader back in 2000, even for us, we've come to the point where we've had our come to Jesus moment. | |
| And now we have to vote for Sleepy Joe because Trump is a bridge too far for America. | |
| I do have to say that I was just trying to give them slightly the benefit of the doubt, but the new Pink Floyd thing is so insanely stupid. | |
| Taking my personal taste out of the equation, I think I have to give it to the Pink Floyd thing, just because watching people lose their minds over the rainbow iconography, that up until the gay movement took it, I believe would have been most identified to everyone Via the Pink Floyd album cover. | |
| The fact that people were just like, Pink Floyd's going woke with his fucking rainbow shit. | |
| I don't get it, man. | |
| It's just like, dude, what? | |
| What are you talking about? | |
| It's one of the most iconic pieces of pop art in history. | |
| Are you kidding me? | |
| Holy shit. | |
| And you can't even call them boomers, because boomers should know! | |
| Boomers should know more than me! | |
| My grandma was a boomer and she loved Pink Floyd! | |
| And this brings us to our secret question from Chairman Walkman, who sent me another list of questions because we ran out of the previous list. | |
| And the first question is, is there any particular art form you find to be the most moving? | |
| film, paintings, music, etc? | |
| Probably comics, because it's affected me the most. | |
| I've read some comics that have genuinely moved me, and then after that, the written word in novels. | |
| Those two for me are the most moving. | |
| I'm sorry, I thought you were done. | |
| Sorry, go ahead. | |
| No, you're good. | |
| For me, it would be Music by A Landslide. | |
| But after music, I think, surprisingly, it would be, like, physical art. | |
| Specifically, paintings. | |
| If only because they don't all really tickle me, like, or whatever, move me emotionally. | |
| But the ones that do, it's just such a unique experience. | |
| Because there's something, like, There's something to it that really can't be that properly communicated that you get from the texture of seeing real brushstrokes versus seeing an image on a TV. | |
| There's something that it is communicating that is difficult to put into words. | |
| So it's really arresting when a painted portrait or whatever grabs me. | |
| I'll just be like, oh my god, I have to go look at that! | |
| And I'll go look at it and I'll just regard it for a while in a way that I don't do with other media. | |
| Yeah, I would also say music for me is number one. | |
| And when Sarge brought up comics, I was just sort of like, what written medium or something like that really has ever hit me? | |
| And immediately it popped into my head of Maus. | |
| And I was just like, yeah, I remember like, A comic about the Holocaust with an allegory about dogs and cats and mice. | |
| And it sounds so trite, but it was just like, goddamn, that comic really stuck with me for forever. | |
| So I would probably say that of things that I've read, that was probably the most impactful thing that ever hit me, besides music. | |
| Music is, again, number one of a bullet. | |
| It just absolutely gets to me. | |
| I mean, look at my timeline and the way I react to garbage. | |
| So that's just, yeah, that's the kind of thing. | |
| It's just, music has always been there for me in that way. | |
| Yeah, and I've just got, like, rhythm in my blood. | |
| It's weird. | |
| Like, I feel like if I wasn't such a heavyweight dude, I would, like, maybe have, like, been really into dance or whatever. | |
| I'm just constantly bippin' and boppin'. | |
| Much to the chagrin of some of my shyer partners over the years. | |
| We will just be out in public and I will spontaneously just be grooving like I'm on fucking psychedelics or whatever and it's just because I just have like I just have rhythm in me and like sometimes I just want to dance or like I'll get a song like a band I'm just like yeah fucking I love music let's let's get moving and my partner is like dude what is wrong with you we're in a restaurant And that brings us to our final question, which is, what are you guys looking forward to? | |
| Looking forward to the Chiefs probably losing to the Bengals. | |
| They seem to be our kryptonite. | |
| The Bengals? | |
| That old musical group? | |
| They're playing the Kansas City Chiefs? | |
| The Bengals? | |
| Yes. | |
| I think that might be the most accent I've ever heard you put on a word. | |
| That's crazy. | |
| Theatre of the Mind, for all you people behind the curtain, I'm wearing my Joe Burrow jersey right now. | |
| And this was done to Trigger Sarge, and he no-sold me the entire show. | |
| You usually wear a good jersey. | |
| Yeah, but you didn't notice the particular jersey I was wearing today. | |
| You didn't see the nines on my shoulders. | |
| Peter, of the mind for the audience, I am riding a burrow. | |
| And I have been riding a burrow. | |
| I have like a Steadicam rig mounted to my massive body and I'm riding a burrow. | |
| It's like that iPhone 14 commercial of the mom running sideways with a shaky phone and the picture's like smooth anyways, so yes. | |
| But to represent Sarge's team, I also have one of those pixelated mosaic sensor things over my forehead and above. | |
| And through the pixelation, you might be able to make out a headdress of some kind. | |
| It's really difficult to say what's back there, because whatever it is would be probably really insensitive. | |
| But I am representing for Kansas City and the Chiefs there. | |
| I couldn't even be dressed like a cop because nobody likes them either, you know what I mean? | |
| So like, what else is chief? | |
| It's so hard! | |
| Anyway, I am excited. | |
| I am actually starting a new... I get to play in a new tabletop roleplaying game set in the Roaring Twenties, using the Savage World system. | |
| We are playing a low-level superhero game, sort of like a 1920s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, or Umbrella Academy, or what have you. | |
| And I'm pretty excited about that. | |
| It's pretty good. | |
| I love a nice roleplaying. | |
| I'm a big fan of it. | |
| That sounds awesome. | |
| I am very jealous of you. | |
| I am looking forward to also the sports ball this weekend. | |
| That'll be fun. | |
| We have like three games left before the cold winter of no actual football, which makes me very sad. | |
| And I'll also look forward to... Yeah, it's gonna suck where you have to watch your local hockey team high-step their way into the ice equivalent of the end zone. | |
| It is hilarious, the embarrassment of riches Boston has right now between the Celtics and Bruins. | |
| Yeah, it's wild. | |
| So yeah, I'll have to live off the thin gruel of the two best teams in their respective sports playing in Boston. | |
| Oh, the pain! | |
| The pain, I feel! | |
| And also, I get to... | |
| Just go through the rigmarole of dealing with requirements for working in my industry and all the stuff that is involved in making sure that I stay legal and don't lose my job, which is a process. | |
| It's a thing that is super annoying. | |
| Regulations are super annoying and boring. | |
| And once I'm done with that in the next week or two, I won't have to deal with that for a while, which is always nice. | |
| I'm looking forward to that. | |
| All right. | |
| So sorry. | |
| Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh! | |
| So that's going to do it for this week's episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast. | |
| Thank you so much for listening, and it's time for us to boot scoot out of here. | |
| This week we're going to do it on Razor scooters, because I like the way us lads would look on some Razor scooters. | |
| So we're razor-scootering out of Hellworld for the week. | |
| Thank you so much for supporting the show with your listens. | |
| If you'd like to continue to support the show, feel free to give us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts from. | |
| Massage the algo for us and tell them that you think that we're pretty cool. | |
| If you have money and you want to give it to us, we have our grubby little mitts out reaching for it and doing that motion where you just close and open them like a tiny child. | |
| Please give us your monies! | |
| And you can do that by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics. | |
| There are many donation tiers, but out of all of them, the one you want to hit is at least $5, because that is the one that is going to give you access to all of our bonus content, including our series such as Kabbalen, and what we do at our Shadows, and Mule's Errand, and Queen, when we get back to it, and All sorts of fun and frivolity, so go check that stuff out. | |
| You can just tip your dealer for $2 and we'll be just thankful, but if you want those bonus content episodes, go ahead and give us $5 a month and get all that shit. | |
| It'll be a good time. | |
| If you have money and you don't want to give it to us because we are a gaggle of dickheads, we are totally cool with that. | |
| You can do some good with it by donating it to a charity of your choice. | |
| We suggest love146.org. | |
| They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation. | |
| Really stick it to the QAnon people by doing what they refuse to and actually taking a stand against the trafficking and exploitation of children and people in general. | |
| It's just not great. | |
| Shout out and thank you as always to DJ Minimal Effort who's still not on social media. | |
| Fuck him, but we love him. | |
| And also shout out to our buddy Frosty, who you can find on Twitter, at FrostyVO, until Twitter turns into a cold black hole of nothingness. | |
| We are also on Twitter, until it turns into a cold black hole of nothingness, and you can find us as a show, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. | |
| I'm at Hellworld L, spelled the same way as the show. | |
| Sarge is at Sargent Hell, and Mike Rains is, of course, at PokerPolitics. | |
| So for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined, as most of the time recently, by our not-so-mysterious Sarge, and our expert on all things QAnon crazy mister, Mike Rains. | |
| Good to be Patriots! |