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Jan. 5, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:54:24
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #120: GOP House Insanity with Amanda and Haley

This week you get to listen to Amanda, Haley, and Mike covering the failed Speaker votes in real time. Bask in Kevin McCarthy's shame on this glorious day. We also talk about QAnon infighting, Twitter selling illegal products and other assorted insanity. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Time Text
Music Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, my standard co-hosts are off on a magical adventure somewhere else.
So I am joined by Amanda, a.k.a.
Frank the Turtle.
Hello.
I am also joined by Haley, aka Arizona Right Wing Watch.
Sup.
Again.
We all have multiple names.
We all are just absolutely like, just like, I don't know what era it was that rappers had like three or four different names, but that's just where we're currently living in at this moment.
Yay.
Yay though!
As the standard Hellworld peek behind the curtain at our production values was I hit the intro music and Riverside has this soundboard that has way too many buttons on it initially, and for some reason it scrambled the content warning with where it normally was.
Just imagine those last 10 seconds of you hearing the intro music, me panicking as I try to find the content warning button, and then finally finding it and frantically hitting it to play the content warning.
So, my heart rate was up at the very jump of this thing, so I was like, oh shit!
Riverside!
No!
Don't do this to me!
So that was, that was lovely.
That was an absolutely lovely start to this whole thing.
I like that music.
It's snazzy.
Oh, uh, yeah.
One of my friends, uh, who is, we, we call him DJ Minimal Effort for a reason.
Cause he just never, he never puts in like a lot of work on anything.
He's always talking about doing stuff.
He doesn't.
But, um.
Sounds like a cool guy.
I like him.
Oh, he's, he is.
That's me.
He is the weirdest duck.
He truly is.
Like, if you ever hung out with him, you'd be like, okay, when are you going to break character?
And then you'd find out, oh wait, he never breaks character.
This is who he actually is.
Like, uh, he's just, he's, he's incredibly, he's incredibly smart, but he is just aloof.
Like, I mean, people have said all kinds of things about him.
Like someone was like, Oh, he definitely has Asperger's.
And like, he's like, no, I don't.
I've, I've been to doctors.
They've diagnosed me.
I don't have that.
But, uh, DJ Minimal Effort, a weird dude.
And there's your shout-out for the show, DJ Minimal Effort, that you'll never hear.
Ellen plugs you at the end of every podcast, and you've never listened to one of them, and I know it.
So, uh, you don't get the end of the show shout-out this time, DJ Minimal Effort.
No shout-out for you.
So, yes.
But, yeah, I'm very happy with the music and the way it turned out, so.
Smoothly, smoothly segueing away from this.
I was taking a hit of my vape.
Hey, this is how we operate.
Again, Elle loves it when we describe things and it just drives him nuts that podcasts use visual things.
But Amanda is battling COVID and dealing with all that.
I battled it.
I'm done.
I can go outside.
I can lick doorknobs again.
Oh, go go for it.
I mean, I can breathe on whoever I want.
And whoever can breathe on me.
It's fine.
Are you three for three now?
Yeah.
Well, to be fair, the first time I had it, there were no tests available.
And I wasn't really that sick.
I just shared a bed and like hotel with a girl who went to the hospital with COVID.
So they were like, Yeah, you probably have it.
That's why you keep sleeping 20 hours in a row.
Yeah, I had it twice.
Beat it twice.
I actually just need it too.
I just had it not that long ago.
I have never had a confirmed case of COVID.
I had a annoying, I did not have what I would call a bad cold.
I had an annoying cold like two months ago, but I tested negative during it.
So I just, I have yet to have any knowledge of an official COVID diagnosis.
It's like this thing though, where like when you have it, you know, like I knew I knew I had it this time.
But it's like, I don't even get that sick.
It's just like the brain feeling is it's the only thing I've ever had.
Like it is altitude sickness.
So I will look for the brain thing.
When your brain stops working.
Yep.
Yeah.
When you're like, it's like if you take ADD, you take my ADD and like take away all my medication and then crank up my ADD like 300%.
So brain fog is the number one symptom of COVID.
Yeah, it's like, it's like that.
But I also think like, what it really is, it's like this removement from reality, where it's like, if I'm on the phone, or if I'm doing something, I like feel like I'm watching myself, like I'm dreaming.
And it's like the first like, two days of COVID are like that every time I've had it.
I just puke a lot.
Okay, well, that sounds awful.
It's the worst COVID experience that I've ever had.
I got the cool thing last time and I've been pissed I could taste stuff this time because if I'm gonna have to be inside, I want to do experiments.
And I did a lot of experiments when I lost my sense of taste before.
I was gonna say, someone was talking to Praying Medic about a prayer to regain taste and smell.
And I was just like, oh, so Coven's still fake, huh?
Is that what you're going with?
Person who needs their taste and smell returned to them?
Buy a weapon.
Yes.
Oh yeah, they're back on bioweapon real strong now.
COVID is no longer fake.
It is absolutely shycom bioweapon.
But to finish my point that I started about, I don't know, 40 minutes ago, was in the theater of the mind, just imagine that when you think of Amanda, just imagine her covered in a smoky haze because there's a humidifier blowing in her room.
So it looks like she is... Token.
Yeah, she looks like she's hotboxing, but she's not.
This is a medicinal smoke, is what we're actually... As far as we know.
That's what she told us.
Yes.
That's the allegation.
That's the allegation that's going on right now here.
But anyhow, enough of this fun and frivolity.
Let's get to other fun and frivolity known as the Amuse Bouche.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the Amuse Bouche.
So our first topic today is the grifter wars that are eternal and will never end inside of QAnon.
The first of these grifter wars involves a continuing dispute between Patel Patriot, the guy who runs Badlands Media, and pretty much everyone outside of him.
In this case, So, for those of you who don't know exactly what's happened here, there was this bunch of infighting and bullshit involving the guy who came up with the devolution bullshit, and the We The Media people getting mad at him, and one thing led to another, and now devolution is wrong, think.
Devolution is heresy.
Trump is no longer the secret shadow president.
To think these things is incorrect and will get you punished for wrong think.
So it is, uh, awesome that like this, this guy who rose to success via like, just Trump's still secretly president guys, just peddling this hopium.
Now everyone's mad at him.
So his hopium is bullshit.
Um, but anyways.
Oh yeah.
I still believe Trump's my shadow president.
It's still real to me.
Um, But what happened was, he has his little retinue now of sycophants, which includes PepeLivesMatter and Kyusha Damas, who are two of the more avid posters in the QAnon sphere.
They were members of We The Media.
They now post on Badlands Media.
Now, this is so in the weeds and so silly, but it's also delicious.
So True The Vote wanted to cater to these people as badly as possible.
Catherine and Greg were just like, well, there's no easier mark than QAnon.
So we need to go at these people.
We need to get them on our side so they will suck up to us and let us harvest their followers so we can get money off them with 2,000 mules and all the other scams that True The Vote's running.
And Kew Stradamus fell in love with Greg Phillips's beard.
It was a passionate, torrid romance between this young man and the burly, majestic beard that Greg Phillips has.
And Kew Stradamus started photoshopping Greg's beard on everything.
He started freaking out and posting that beard here, there, everywhere.
It was literally the reason why that young lad would wake up in the morning.
So at some point... It's because he hasn't seen your beard.
Yeah, I know.
If they knew about the Bobby Baratheon that I rock, they would all cower in horror.
And actually, spoiler alert, that's part of the things I'm looking forward to when we do the mailbag.
But what I was going to say is...
Greg gave Q Stradamus $7,500 for artwork, for merchandise, and all kinds of other stuff, basically supporting the True the Vote brand.
I don't know if it was going to be entirely beard-related, or if it was just going to be universally about Greg Phillips and True the Vote and how awesome they are.
And one thing led to another, and Greg is now claiming that Kyusser Damas has not produced any of the work he has requested, and that when Greg was in jail during that contempt of court ordeal, apparently Kyusser Damas either took an additional $3,000 or got paid an additional $3,000 while Greg was in jail, and he was able to shake down some idiot at True the Vote who didn't know what was going on.
So Greg has posted photos of Kusherdamus from the pit because Pepe and his younger brother went to that dumb LARP convention where Greg and Catherine were like, by the way, 2,000 mules, fuck that shit.
Have you heard of this company called Kinect?
They're the real bad guys.
And by the way, Terry Lake was there.
Well, Kerry Lake didn't get paid $7,000 for doing funny artwork about Greg's beard or whatever.
Beard propaganda.
He's paying for his own beard propaganda.
He is!
By the way, I will not pay anyone any thousands of dollars for Mike Raine's beard propaganda.
My beard is just free.
You can use my beard without my consent.
I don't care.
Whatever you want to do, it's fine.
I'll post a headshot somewhere on On the Hellworld Twitter feed.
And you can do whatever you want.
Don't care.
Go nuts.
So this is an ordeal.
I believe that Greg has fully doxxed.
Because Pepe and his younger brother have been incredibly secretive about their names and identities and everything.
But Greg posted a photo of Kesha Damas.
I believe he's given his full name as well.
I know the authority who has basically decided to make himself the Martin Luther of the QAnon Protestant Reformation against the evil Catholic heresy of We The Media.
He's putting his dick on the table.
was saying Pepe and Kishidama's first names a lot and making it clear. He's like, I know
your names. I can go after you. So yeah, the- He's putting his dick on the table. He's showing them.
Yes. Oh, he absolutely is. That made me laugh because there's a scene in one of the Lyndon
Johnson movies I watched where he's very mad at this. One of the things that Lyndon Johnson
really hated was when a whip would tell him they had about a certain number of votes.
He'd be like, no!
Tell me how many fucking votes I have!
Do not tell me I have about a certain number of votes!
And so they have the scene in the movie when Lyndon Johnson was the Senate Majority Leader, and this guy walks in and is like, I think we got about 52 votes.
And Lyndon Johnson was like, if I took your two-inch dick and put it on this table, and then I said I was going to bring an axe about two inches down in front of it, would you be nervous?
Now tell me how many fucking votes I have!
About was not a word you used around Lyndon Johnson.
Ordeal is ongoing, and one guy that's trying to stay above the fray of this whole Badlands, Patel Patriot versus everyone who hates him sort of ordeal is Praying Medic.
And if those of you who've been following QAnon know that Praying Medic is one of the OG grifters in this space, he has been doing this shit basically since the first Q drop.
And as far as I can tell, the man doesn't believe a goddamn word of any of it.
He is just so in it to make a buck.
Of all these people, like... What?
Well, I mean, it's one of those questions people ask all the time is, is this guy grifting or does he really buy into this shit?
And I think like people like IET and Pepe and those morons, I think they buy into it.
I think Awakened Outlaw is kind of a sad dude.
When I talk to Awakened Outlaw, a lot of them just block me on sight.
I wanted to talk some shit to Martin Geddes on Truth Social, immediately blocked.
He saw my account, he's like, nope, not dealing with you!
But like, Awakened Outlaw will talk to me, but like, the way he talks to me is like, you piece of shit!
You absolute fucking scum!
You're the worst, and I hate you!
And I will not have a real conversation with you, guy I hate!
And by the way, you are also fat!
And a loser!
And you will never know the touch of a woman!
I love our fans.
And yeah, I love our fans, and it's like...
And it's like, okay, Outlaw.
I mean, I get it.
And the other thing that Outlaw loves saying to me is, I'm going to be back on Twitter soon!
And I'm like, we're talking on Truth right now.
How would this conversation differ if we were on Twitter?
Except for the fact that you might have to break up some of your insult tirades into two or three things.
Because Truth Social has a higher character count on their posts.
Like, while, like, and then while they're yelling at me at the very least, like, I get to, like, talk to them and stuff.
But one of the things that Outlaw said to me that was, like, so sad was he was like, oh, when Q first started posting, he was saying these things.
We didn't know about the year deltas.
We didn't know that, like, things were going to work out over And I'm just like, God damn it, Outlaw.
Like, come on, buddy.
Q wasn't telling you about Deltas because Q didn't know about Deltas.
You made up the Deltas to make Q right in the long run.
That's what Deltas are, buddy.
They're a coping mechanism.
So while I'm talking to these guys, I can get a sense for how many of them are bought in and how many of them are just doing this to make a buck.
Jordan Sather, he'll say anything for a buck as far as I'm concerned.
Like, oh my God.
Jordan Sather yearns for the day he can sell out QAnon and do the whole reformed conspiracy theorist act.
Oh my God, yes.
Oh man, the day he does that and fucking tries to cash in a buck, I'm like, you better be earnest.
I'm going to be watching you.
The moment you slip, the moment you try to pull the Glenn back and do the, oh, I'm so sorry.
I was a nut for a while.
Give me more money.
What?
No one will give me money for my repentance tour?
Fine.
I'm a nut again.
Give me the cash.
I'm a nut.
And everyone's like, yes, Glenn Beck, you're a nut.
Here's more cash.
But Medic has always struck me as being totally soulless.
And one QAnon promoter, this guy is not even someone I really knew.
Their name is Genghis Khan.
Their handle at Truth is QWarrior12.
He posted screenshots of Praying Medic getting $1,200 over three days in donations.
Because, like, Medic was like, I'm being censored and deplatformed!
Give me loot!
And his followers were like, here's a pile of loot, Praying Medic!
So, now a lot of people are going after Praying Medic for being a grifter and just making a buck off the movement.
And that's the same thing everybody else does.
What?
Oh, yeah, I know.
Absolutely.
I was waiting for something egregious.
No, no.
Like when Jordan Sather told people to drink bleach, you know, that was like egregious.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, no.
Drink bleach, fine.
But like, can I have some cash?
Bad.
Yeah, absolutely.
And that's the thing that's so funny about these people is that everyone's trying to make a buck off this shit.
Everyone's trying to get, trying to do something.
So many QAnon promoters that are like small timers are like, I want to quit my job and start a podcast and do some art and do this other thing.
Good fucking luck, buddy.
And it's like, yeah, guess what?
That's fucking everybody.
Guess what?
Guess who's watching you?
Me, schlub with a day job and a podcast.
And I talk about QAnon all day.
And I would love that life too, but guess what?
I don't have it, and I'm not gonna sit around pissing and moaning about it because I know how the world works.
And I also know that you are the, like, 4000th QAnon promoter that wants to go down this primrose path of success and decadence, and you're just mad that you didn't come up with the sad panda story of devolution that got Patel Patriot a pile of loot, such that now he can run his own grift emporium in Badlands Media, that if you were lucky, you could write shit for, like all these other sad little flameouts.
like Pepe and Kustradamus. Someone actually went to Kustradamus about the fact that like,
hey, in your sub stack, you talk about just fucking doing drugs all the time and hearing
God in your head. And how do we know it's God and not the drugs? And it's like a spoiler alert.
It's never God. There like, if there was a God in the drugs, man, maybe God told you to take the drug.
Maybe that's how you commune with God.
God was like, you know what?
I want you to trip balls.
That's the only way the human mind can understand my powerful omniscience.
Because I'm so strong.
I'm God.
I'm the best.
It worked out really well for William Burr's wife.
After he did a bunch of drugs and shot her.
Oh god.
Riverside has a thing called Drumroll on it and I'm almost positive it actually is Rimshot
but I don't ever want to press that button in case it actually is Drumroll.
Press it.
Do it.
I don't know.
Play.
Let's play.
I don't care.
Do it.
It's going to be a drumroll.
It's not going to be a rimshot.
I know it.
Yeah, it was a drum joke.
Oh wait!
Oh my god!
I'm not wearing my glasses right now.
Below that is actual drum joke, which has to be rimshot.
It's gotta be... Yeah, exactly!
I'm gonna play this and I'm gonna get really mad.
That's rimshot!
Why do you call that drum joke?
What kind of fucking mistranslation through six languages did you come to to get to drum joke for that?
Everyone knows what rimshot means.
I actually got drum joke.
I didn't know it was called rimshot.
Wow.
Wow.
Hayley, the most isolated human being that has ever lived.
We are speaking to Hayley live from under the rocks.
I didn't take music class.
Yeah, you didn't deal with any comedy?
No.
Were there any bad one-liners?
Yeah, I just say it's the drum joke.
The drum joke!
I'm not going to do this, but if this was an original podcast, we would edit this and put this into the small file collection before the Amuse Bouche, but it is too late.
We have gone too far.
So, yeah.
Anyhow, besides all that nonsense, our next topic of conversation is... So, Elon, looking for a few bucks here and there from whoever is willing to give them, and he got an ad from a bizarre website called TheNeedo.
It is the, or the word the, followed by the word, and I use the term word very loosely, N-E-D-O, TheNeedo.
And The neato.com that was here to advertise on Twitter was selling what they claimed was a oil filter.
And when people looked at the quote-unquote oil filter they were selling, people were like, no, that's a silencer for a gun.
They are literally selling silencers for firearms.
This is how do you say fucking illegal?
And so, um, I went to the, I clicked on, uh, I managed to find the website and I managed to find what they were on the ad said was, um, how you could find this where it was like, go to the neato.com slash cars, uh, hyphen oil.
And when you, when you go to that, you get a 404 error.
But I went on the Wayback Machine and I did find the ad did exist.
And you could, in fact, see that they were selling this oil filter for your car.
Winky emoji.
Um, so beyond that, if you actually go to thenedo.com, they have all kinds of very bizarre products, including, uh, a quote unquote game where you put your finger inside a little table and light flicker around.
It was up to six people can stick their fingers in these little holes.
And when the lights stop flashing, someone gets an electrical, someone gets an electrical shock and it's called electric shock roulette.
And you can buy Electric Shock Roulette from a price range of $22 to $93.
Oh, I would definitely buy the more expensive one because I would assume it's safer.
If I'm gonna do it, you know?
Yeah.
Shock Roulette Party Game and the The board, the box that comes in, features a child with their hair all electrified, followed by, next to it, an EKG heart monitor behind them.
Which is obviously, at this very moment in America, and one of our major headlines, probably not the best graphic to be showing people.
So beyond just looking at the weird junk this website is offering us, and I have now sent the photo of the box to Hayley and Amanda to look at in their DMs.
I did a Whois search for the owners of this website, and their address came up as a place in Iceland.
And then when I dug into that address in Iceland, it turns out that this is an address used by scammers And you will never believe this.
Listeners to the Hellworld podcast, please, please take a seat.
I don't want anyone to like fall over in shock.
I don't want anyone to damage a tailbone or anything.
But there are many websites connected to NFTs and crypto that also come from this address in Iceland that is run by that is populated by scammers.
We should buy this toy.
So I'm never gonna get my silencer.
You are almost surely never going to get your silencer.
I saw- You can get your silencer.
I liked it much better when Elon was taking money from people who were shipping illegal, like, weapons goods across country lines.
That was way- I was- I got really excited when you said Iceland.
I'm not gonna lie.
There's definitely something illegal about when Elon would be joined in that situation.
Yes.
Oh, God.
So, yeah.
So, everything working smoothly here on Twitter.com.
We only have mildly illegal Gunpart ads going on.
Twitter's stock has rebounded to a majestic soaring height of $112 a share today.
Remember, it started 2022 at a tick under $400 a share, so any gains you see are literally nothing, and any morons buying this tick... That cat bounce!
Yes!
I love that mostly because that's a dumb thing Q... That's a thing that Q also said that sounds smart, is what I should have said.
Oh, I come from the crypto world, and we've been saying that for a decade.
Oh yeah, I know what I'm saying.
Q was just like, dead cat bounce!
And I forget what the context of Q yelling that was.
It's just like, er, I'm mad and dumb and I want to sound smart.
And I've already said game theory too much this week, so I have to say something else.
Oh, God.
Because, oh, our beloved, um, our beloved super secret spy who was going to save America from the bad people.
Oh, yeah, this is weird.
Um, it was just, oh, it was talking about FBI Director Andrew McCabe, back when they thought McCabe was going to get indicted.
And Q was like, dead cat, dead cat bounce, nothing can stop this.
And then McCabe gets indicted.
So, tough break.
Sorry, Q, you lose again, you huge dum-dum.
So that is all of our, I don't know, small, minor, hilarious commentary.
Although our first headline is awesome and super fun.
Currently ongoing as we speak.
You'll be hearing this in the near future, but we are living in the moment.
The moment of Kevin McCarthy's personal hell here in the news.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News.
I'm so sorry.
I forget the transition.
No problem.
Just jump in anyways.
So the C-SPAN headline literally right now is Kevin McCarthy appears not to have the votes.
Six speaker vote possible today.
I'm so obsessed.
It's so great.
I hope this just goes on forever.
How long did they do the furlough?
Like in 2013?
I hope it's that many days.
How many days they had the furlough under Trump?
I hope it's that many days.
It's so fucking funny.
Don't pay them!
Do they get paid?
They're not initiated.
Don't pay them.
I would go with sworn in, but let's go with deepfake cabal terminology.
Initiated.
They are initiated into the House of Representatives.
They're voting again right now.
It's very funny.
Oh, vote number six!
Lucky number six!
Can't wait till we get to 17.
Oh my God, what if he wins?
He's about to get to 69.
We're going to want more.
After, after vote, after vote six, that's going to happen.
After like the 12th vote fails, QAnon's going to come up with, uh, QAnon's going to come up with that the 17th vote was when Trump will become Speaker.
That will be, that'll be their new thing.
Like after the 16th vote, Trump is going to storm in on his white horse.
And just take the speakership.
Yeah.
The thing that's like so funny to me about that is that anyone, and I've been saying this for a while and it's because it's true.
The speakership is the one job in the universe that Trump does not want.
And it is also the one job Republicans cannot give him because literally he'll quote unquote, play nice for like two days about impeaching Harris and Biden.
And then after two days, he'll just be like, Hey, Are you guys going to kill them so I can be president again?
Come on, let's go!
Let's do this!
Hashtag Second Amendment.
Hashtag President Trump.
And all, and then basically all the media is going to be like, yo, uh, any Republican within a hundred feet of me, do you condone President, uh, Speaker Trump calling for the murder of the President and Vice President?
And they'll be like, I didn't see that tweet.
I don't know what you're talking about.
They run away.
Like everyone just hiding as the Speaker of the House is just actively calling for the murder of everyone ahead of them in the line of succession.
It's just going to be like, man!
And it's like, uh, President Biden has remained locked in the White House for day 200 now because, uh, the speaker is trying to kill him.
And the Republican party is so spineless, they won't call it out.
They're just like, look, Trump has a first amendment right to, um, actually he doesn't.
That's not protected speech to call for the murder of the president.
They did a bid on it in the state back in the nineties or whenever the state was actually popular.
I don't remember what that time of life was.
So, um, but that's what his dumb, smooth brain would do.
And the other thing is, is that, like, people would vote against him.
It would make him mad.
He would literally just do nothing but tweet all day about, Representative so-and-so voted for this terrible thing, and I am mad at them because I am dumb and small and angry and stupid.
And also your speaker, because I was your president.
You should all be ashamed of the fact that I'm involved in American politics.
Update, he does not appear to have the votes possible today.
Oh God, if this was a professional podcast, if I had any will within me whatsoever, I would have absolutely have grabbed that clip from the Hamilton song, If You Don't Have the Votes, and just played that constantly during this bit, because it's just so ridiculous.
I like how some people were openly saying yesterday they were bored.
Some of the reps, they were like, we're bored.
We want to go home.
Yeah.
Governing is hard.
I know.
I just want to go on Fox News and talk about how libs of TikTok is awesome and how much I just hate LGBTQ plus people.
I just want to be a bigot.
I just want to be a bigot and get money.
Come on.
Hook me up.
A bunch of the people that are doing the anti-McCarthy stuff today are the, it's Gosar and Biggs.
Oh, of course.
And our new guy, Eli Crane, who that is the seat that Ron was running for.
Oh, oh, God.
If only we had Ron's sizzling charisma in the House of Representatives.
Oh, that reminds me.
As an adjunct, this probably should have been in the boosh, but I'm just going to throw this in there real quick.
Jim Watkins' 1-6 testimony declared that he thought that QAnon was a left-wing plot by Media Matters for America and George Soros.
And it's like, so Jim, why did you let Q post on your board then?
You control that board.
You could've just flipped it.
You could've been like, hey, George Soros of Media Matters, go fuck yourselves and just flip the switch.
No more Q. Left-wing plot defeated.
Are you saying you were in on it?
Are you getting that Soros money, Jim?
Like, what's going on, buddy?
I can't believe that Alex Kaplan would work with Jim Watkins like that.
I'm so disappointed.
Yes.
Oh, man.
Hey, we're going to have to go with Alex Kaplan.
Alex, what are you doing to us, buddy?
Why are you in bed with Jim Watkins?
I mean, come on.
What's going on?
You're driving traffic to Acorn.
This seems disingenuous.
I do like that he like called Pence a traitor still.
He's like, he still had to get that out.
Like so many people pled the fifth on like everything and he's like, I still gotta, I still gotta get this out.
He still does not have the courage.
Still.
Oh!
God, if I was Mike Pence, I would name my memoir The Courage.
If that man had any wit, any charisma about him, anything.
Oh my God.
I would both ironically and almost unironically buy a Pence 2024 t-shirt if his slogan was the courage to lead.
Yo, whoever's trying to run the Pence 2024 campaign, if you are not using that as your slogan, you are wrong.
Mike Pence, hire me.
Even though I already gave it to you for free, you owe me a check.
Because that shit would be incredible.
I'm gonna make those shirts.
I'm gonna make a draft by Pence Movement.
We should draft him to something.
Yes, but I'm saying like, I'm just gonna make Pence 2024 t-shirts that are just gonna say the courage to lead and just see how many people buy them both ironically and unironically.
Ironically will outnumber unironically 10 to 1.
I will wear it to CPAC.
Yes!
100%.
Yes!
100%.
God.
I'm going to have to make a Zazzle store.
This sucks.
Or Redbubble or wherever it is.
Wherever grifters go to make their t-shirts.
I'm gonna get it on the grift t-shirt market.
That reminds me, Julian's Rum, another QAnon grifter, is now selling t-shirts somewhere, and my favorite thing he did was he made a shirt that was like the number 45 and some oranges behind it, and people were like, oh I love it, the reference is so subtle.
And Julian was like, oh, I like making stuff that people won't get so you don't get shivved by some crazy leftist.
And I'm like, I work in a casino.
A thing that happens.
I work in a casino in the very beating heart of liberal America.
And people walk into my casino all the time with fucking Joe Biden is a piece of shit shirts, Joe and the hoe gotta go hats.
Like, uh, let's go Brandon shirts, all of it.
I like the classic fuck bun.
We have a guy who's a regular and he wears a hat and the hat, it's one of those hats where the slogan is just a badge on the side.
It's not like a centered MAGA slogan.
It's a little circle badge.
And that circle says on it, fuck your masks and your vaccine.
And it's just like, you know, right-wingers really aren't shy about things.
They're not too worried about catching a shiv between the ribs from some crazy liberal.
Julian, your target audience wants to be offensive.
People wear that shit as a tribal sign of solidarity.
They love merch.
Right, they love merch.
They love merch.
They love merch.
They love wearing merch to let people know Like, I'm a piece of shit, and I want other pieces of shit to have solidarity with me, a piece of shit.
So, and it happens all the time.
Like, people wear a MAGA hat at the poker table, and then, like, after 20 minutes, and shockingly, this is all white men saying it to each other, a guy's like, hey man, love your hat, MAGA!
And the other guy's like, hey!
It's like, oh yeah, it's like, oh yeah, you guys are witty, speaking in your white man code.
I would never get it.
I would never know.
And that's the thing is because I'm a white guy, I get invited into the white guy club by a lot of people, because they just think that like, I'm with them.
And because I'm an employee, I laugh and chuckle and just sort of give them the brofist.
And then After they walk away, I cry a lot and then have to take a long shower after my shift is over.
But it's just, it's just so funny.
You should be the next Infiltrator.
The next MAGA Infiltrator.
Oh, oh, um... It's fine.
Frank's retired.
I would not say I'm retired so much as I was strong-armed into retirement before Jan.
Uh, the thing is, is that I'm probably unknown enough that I could do it for a while.
And then eventually some people will be like, Hey, wait a minute.
That's poker.
What the fuck?
Why are you talking to him?
He's bad.
We can dress you up.
I'm sure you could, but I, I would, I would have to wear something because of the fact that I, I did appear for 45 seconds on Good Morning America.
So, I mean, I was on CNN before.
They are so stupid.
They're so dumb.
Yeah.
Just get regular glasses.
They'll be completely confounded.
They won't know what's going on.
Get the pit vipers.
Never take them off.
I just turned into the Clark Kent on the podcast.
Wow, you totally did.
Now I'm back to Superman.
One of the guys who regularly harasses me, Vishbara, he used to follow me on Twitter before I went undercover.
Because I recorded Joey Salads acting like an idiot here in D.C.
and put it on Twitter.
And I said, look at this fucking moron, everybody.
And he was Joey Salads' campaign manager.
We used to fight on Twitter before I went undercover.
And this motherfucker has no idea who I was.
So these people are not... Yeah, they're not that good.
Mm-mm.
No.
People are very dumb is the one thing that I've learned about the world.
And one thing that I've also learned is that people don't really have a very good memory for the terrible shit they do.
Because I have had like unbelievably bad interactions with customers and then they've come back like a month or so later and they talk to me like nothing ever happened.
Like I a million years ago in my life had a player Grab his cards and they were they were playing seven card stud back in the ancient times back in the before them Back before man's will fire from the gods and there was a poker game, but that was not Texas Hold'em So this man had six whole poker cards in front of him.
He grabbed all of them Threw them at my head and screamed you fucking suck Because I didn't give him the card he needed and he stormed out.
And somehow a month later, they let him back in the building.
And not only did they let him back in the building, they made me deal to him.
And he had no, he had no reaction to me whatsoever for the half hour we dealt.
I just dealt to him.
Nothing.
He just throws cards at people and swears at them and storms out of buildings constantly.
Yeah.
That's just, that's just his life.
And it's, and it's just that kind of thing.
Well, yeah.
Like, um, We had a dealer, and again, America!
We had a dealer that was going to go to a table to deal some blackjack.
And he looked at me and said, I'm not going to that table.
And management knows I'm going to that table, but it's been, it's on the, it's on the list of things I have to do.
The string is what we call it in the casino industry.
And I was like, I'll make sure this is going to happen.
And I walked over to the manager and I said, the dealer on that table over there is going to that blackjack table next.
And he says, he's not going there.
And they're like, oh yeah, yeah, we know, we know.
We're going to switch it around.
We're going to move it around.
And I'm like, so what's the deal there?
And, uh, he kicked the shit out of some woman at the table, losing hand after losing hand, pulling 21s out of his ass, like you read about.
And, uh, in her frustration, uh, she told him to go back where he came from.
Oh shit.
That's punching.
That's punching words.
Great.
That was the exact terminology she used.
So yeah, so he does not deal to her.
And the thing is, she's just playing blackjack, just living her life.
Totally oblivious to what a monster she is.
Just doesn't even care.
Not a thought in the world.
And that's just the way it is.
Not right on her fucking head.
Yep.
Just awesome.
Just awesome stuff.
So yeah, that was Super Deluxe Awesome Great Good.
I'm very happy about all of it.
How did we get to hear from Kevin McCarthy?
Who cares?
I don't know, but he does not have the votes and we are going to have a six speaker vote today.
We are having a six vote today.
Wait, isn't that what they're doing right now?
No, it's, I think, no, they, he lost the fifth.
Now they're doing the sixth.
They're going to do the sixth, possibly.
Yeah, they're doing it now, right?
Yeah.
Haley was so excited about him losing that last vote.
She like almost ate the microphone.
That was, I'm going to have to do some, I might have to do some noise reduction in post because you were like, breaking news!
Kevin McClendon loses again!
That dumb piece of shit, which is awesome.
Yeah, he's, he's not doing good.
I thought they were finished with it.
Sorry.
I, um, I just lost the fifth vote for speaker.
Well, they're still doing it.
Right.
So Donald's is at like 16 votes now.
Yeah.
Cool.
Love that.
What's really funny is if you like read old tiny presidential conventions, like all kinds of like super bizarre shit happens.
Like, um, The Republican convention of 1880, Ulysses S. Grant was actually going to run for a third term.
He had dipped out for a term, but now he's like, eh, too consecutive, now I can have a third, right?
And Grant was running for a third term, and he had the majority, but there was an anti-Grant bloc that was against him, and I forget the name of the guy that was the candidate, and the two of them deadlocked, and James Garfield was getting one vote the entire time.
And then, like, on, like, the 15th or 16th ballot, suddenly Garfield got, like, 20 votes.
And then everyone was like, oh shit!
Garfield's a play we could make here!
And then Garfield won on, like, the next ballot.
Like, he went from, like, 1-1-1-1-1-5-4-1-1-1-20-400!
1-1-1-1-1-5-4-1-1-1-20-400!
BOOM!
And then he became president, and then he got shot.
Damn.
If that happens to Donald, it's very much like that tweet from like 2016, where it's like, this is terrible for our country, but it's tremendous content.
Yes.
Because that guy is a fucking moron.
He sucks.
You're in DC, you should run.
Uh, anyone can be speaker Haley.
Yeah, but you're right there.
Go.
I'm saying go down there right now.
They run down there.
I can't.
Laura Loomer's there.
She posted on Twitter this morning harassing AOC.
But yeah, I'm sure Matt Gaetz.
Break down those doors right now live on this podcast and get in there.
I had a directive to recruit Matt Gaetz and his staffers.
I don't think that they're going to forget about that.
I feel like Matt Gaetz leads the coalition against me.
Also, I mean, it's way too old for Gaetz.
True.
We all are, everybody in here.
We're all adults in here.
No one's in high school.
Middle of the weekday, we'd have to be in high school.
Yes, we would be in class right now if we were prime Gaetz age.
Learning Geometry.
It's lunchtime though, you know, break, lunch break, you never know.
I actually high school got out like 10 minutes ago here.
Oh man.
Come on, high schoolers.
Mad dad.
Mad dad.
Yeah, just distract Matt Gaetz long enough so we can fucking have somebody else win the speakership.
It'll be like pro wrestling, where instead of the evil heel manager of the megaphone or the evil, sexy female manager that distracts the guy, it'll just be a teenager that Matt Gaetz will wander in the Matt Gaetz's field of vision, and he will turn his head, and the next thing you know, it's McCarthy, his speaker.
Wait!
No!
No!
Oh, darn you!
Darn you, McCarthy, and your hoodwinking of me!
You scallywag!
You dare you will!
You don't even have to, like, subject a person to it.
You just play the school bell, and he'll, like, the Pavlov dog start running out.
Pavlov jumped right into my head immediately.
You were so there.
Oh, Haley still gets me.
Donald is up 19 votes down.
He got 20 last time.
So I don't know where they are because New York Times' app is kind of, uh, sucking.
But it would be, what if he gets, what if he gets 21 this time?
What if there's enough people left?
He gets 21?
I don't know.
Come on, let's get a little momentum.
Let's get some momentum for the Donald, the Donald Sugar nut.
Oh, I posted this video on Twitter earlier today, but when I was at Trump throughout, he gave a little speech.
He walked out with sunglasses on and he was like, black people have swag and I'm here.
So now white people can have swag too.
And all of the geriatric white people around me lost their minds at how cool he was.
And it was really embarrassing for me.
I wanted to die.
It was like really bad.
So that's all I could think about when I see him.
Is that like, desperately?
He's just like, hey, white people, I will give you swag if you like me.
It's like, oh man.
So sad.
So sad.
Hey, white people won't like black people even if they give them health care.
We had a black president who was like, yo, white people, I'll give you health care.
They're like, we will fight you to the nail.
We will do everything we can to deny ourselves health care.
It's actually evil to give you health care.
And so this is why I use my state exchange and not that Obamacare bullshit.
Yes, exactly.
You know?
Yeah, I'm on the Affordable Care Act.
I ain't touching that Obamacare shit.
American politics, high minded and erudite.
So smart.
So smart. So I'm, I'm, we're just, I'm just gonna spitball here for the moment.
Are we in the sixth vote, or is it ongoing?
No, we're still in the fifth.
We're still in the fifth.
Well, if Donald has got 19, then McCarthy is not going to get the record number of votes needed.
Oh yeah, they were like 14 names in before.
Because so many of the early people in the alphabet vote.
You know, for Donald.
He definitely doesn't have enough.
And I think he may have stormed out, but I'm not, that is not confirmed.
But yeah, the six foot was going to happen.
I hope he's crying in the bathroom.
Oh, he really should be.
I mean, his life, just think of like all the things he did to try to get this job.
And it's just not going to happen.
It's just not going to happen for him.
I mean, he kissed every ass he possibly could.
He did everything in his power to beg and plead with these people.
And they're just like, nope, we're not giving you the gavel.
You're just not going to win.
It will not happen.
Why did Marjorie Taylor Greene switch to him?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
Yep.
I have no idea why she, um, decided to, uh, like do this.
It's really odd.
It's just very odd that, um, she's like breaking away from Bobert and Gates and all these other clowns to like be the quote unquote serious somber QAnon nut.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
So, what I was going to mention, because I always love bringing up the election of 1800, the greatest American election of all time, because we had to amend the Constitution after we fucked it up so bad.
Basically, that was back when we didn't have the ticket that we have now, where you have Trump-Pence running against Biden-Harris.
I think that should have stayed.
gets the presidency and second place gets the vice presidency, which meant we had four years
of Jefferson hoping Adams would drop dead because he fucking hated him. And then when the next-
I think that should have stayed. I think it would have been way more fun.
Uh, no it wouldn't have because we would have vice president Trump right now actively calling
for President Biden's murder every single day.
I don't know if we would have gotten this far.
Yeah, incumbent President Trump would have been calling for President-elect Biden's murder every single day.
I think there'd be a lot of dead presidents and vice presidents in there.
The ticket gives us a nice little buffer where it's like, if you actually want to murder your way into the presidency, you have to kill two different people.
It's tougher that way.
It's a sort of coup insurance.
Unless you're John F. Kennedy and you stupidly make your assassin the vice president.
That's not actually true, but that's what you conspiracy theorists think.
And you think Lyndon Johnson murdered his way in.
I'm humoring you!
I'm an Oswald did it guy and I always will be.
Shut up!
Amanda and Hayley watching me making this lovely straw man that I'm now arguing and yelling at.
As violent and aggressive as possible.
Basically in 1800, it was still under the president first, vice president second system.
And the people that were going to vote for Jefferson were like, OK, Aaron Burr did a lot of good work rigging New York for us.
So we're going to give him the vice presidency.
So one person don't vote for Burr.
And they never locked down who was going to be that person.
So they all voted for Jefferson and they all voted for Burr.
So it was a tie.
And then they were like, OK, Burr, you know the drill here.
Uh, Jefferson's supposed to be president.
So you're vice president.
So accept your job.
And Burr was like, eat a bowl full of dicks.
Um, I have as much claim to the presidency as Jefferson.
Woo!
President Burr!
And, uh, it took Congress 36 ballots to finally give the presidency to Jefferson.
It got thrown to the House of Representatives.
And a lot of them were like, Hey, let's fuck him over.
Let's give it to Burr.
We know that's what they don't want.
We're going to do it anyways.
Cause we hate Jefferson.
And then one thing led to another, and they begrudgingly, through gritted teeth, gave Jefferson the presidency.
And then everyone was like, well, we can't fucking do that again.
And they quickly amended the Constitution to create the ticket system where we did not have vice presidents trying to up-trump their way to the presidency, either by the House of Representatives or murder, which was probably what was going to happen.
So as you were saying that story, Occupy Democrats tweeted, Ooh.
Breaking.
What?
Hit me.
Lauren Boebert stabs Kevin McCarthy.
And I guess the influence of your story, I was like, what?!
But she stabbed him in the back, so, metaphorically.
But you got me all, like, pumped up for some real drama.
I was like, wow!
Well, that's on you for believing Occupy Democrats.
They're fucking the biggest quickies.
Oh, like you can't see that crazy bitch.
She just got those metal detectors taken out.
She's probably going to nail a needle on her.
I could see her doing it.
It's possible.
It's absolutely possible.
Oh, God, is it ever?
Is it ever?
If only we could have been so lucky as to have had actual, actual, like, slavery guy smashing an abolitionist with a cane on the floor of the Senate.
Violence like we did back in the pre-Civil War days.
These are like two slavery guys.
Squabbling over how many people qualify as slaves.
They're doing race science on the slaves instead of each other this time.
Kevin McCarthy's political career may be over by the time you listen to this.
But moving along to more somber news, on ye olde Monday Night Football, we had a terrible event happen where Damar Hamlin, a safety for the Buffalo Bills, was tackling a player on the Cincinnati Bengals, and then he got to his feet, and then he fell down, and me, a dum-dum, thought it was a concussion or something, and the next thing you know, the game's called off, and he's fighting for his life due to a cardiac event.
And if you are one of normal, polite society, this was a tragedy.
This was a terrible, scary, horrible event.
You may have gone to Hamlin's GoFundMe, which was for a toy drive in Buffalo to help out underprivileged families provide for Christmas.
And now there's over like four and a half million dollars being donated to that because that was what Damar Hamlin was trying to do to be a good egg in this world.
And all of that kind of stuff is what normal, rational humans in the face of a terrible event do.
There is empathy.
There is solidarity.
There is compassion.
You rally around it.
But when you have those sections of your brain baked out of your skull by conspiracy theories, and you see a man fall over on your television, on national TV, and maybe die, You don't think any of those things.
You think, VINDICATION BABY!
It was the clutch shot that got him!
And you run the social media to tell everybody what a fucking horrible monster you are.
And you clack away on those keys, and you let everybody know.
Hashtag died suddenly.
Hashtag I'm a monster.
Hashtag my family doesn't talk to me.
All of these things.
And holy shit.
QAnon QAnon could not wait.
Could not wait to let everybody know exactly what happened and why it happened.
And the thing is that those people were willing to just go straight to the source.
Just boom.
Vaccine.
Did it.
That's it.
Case closed.
Then you had the sacks of shit like Charlie Kirk and Dr. Drew.
Who understand the importance of dog whistles.
And they would post on social media, oh, it's so tragic to see another healthy young man suddenly collapse on the field.
Die suddenly.
Get it?
It's like the movie.
It's like, oh, I'm so subtle and clever.
I'm Charlie Kirk, the cleverest boy in all the world.
Hashtag died suddenly.
Hashtag Stu Peters.
Hashtag died suddenly.
They really are, like, the masters of, you know, not being in your face.
It's great.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
What subtle context.
I have no idea what he's trying to say.
Tucker Carlson decided to go all basically just asking questions where he was just like, look, It could have been the blow to his chest that everyone saw him take that could have triggered this, much as other people have randomly suffered these kinds of things.
Chris Pronger was a guy who pointed out that he suffered an incident like this.
Someone, a random dude, this was on, someone was doing commentary for it.
I think it was like college baseball or something.
But some umpire in a game literally took a foul ball to the chest and did a face forward face plant on the ground.
And he said that basically like hitting his chest like restarted his heart when he hit the ground and he just like woke up.
But like the foul ball actually triggered a cardiac arrest.
And, uh, that video was the same thing.
Like, oh my god, this umpire is fainted!
Oh, okay, he's okay now.
But it was just like... Um...
This, uh, Tucker Carlson just being like, oh it could have been the hit, it could have been the vaccine, but we don't know which is which!
And it's just, like, I just heard that shit and beyond the fact that Tucker Carlson's an absolute, like, fucking monster, this is literally evolution versus creationism, where it's like, Now, all the evidence points to the fact that this man suffered a blow to the chest, but what if in my fantasy land it was the vaccine that did it?
Aren't these two equally important competing theories that we need to take seriously?
It's like, no.
No, we don't, Tuck Tuck.
We don't have to take these competing theories seriously at all, because any person with fucking eyes would have seen that guy got hit, guy got up, guy fell down.
And that was what happened.
And as some people have pointed out, if you had my myocarditis, if you actually had an inflamed heart, you would not be running around playing football.
You wouldn't be healthy enough to be running around doing that.
Because your heart would be like, yo, yo buddy, chill.
Dial it down a little bit.
There was this there's a wrestler, Keith Lee, who was not wrestling for a very long time.
And when he came back from wrestling, Keith Lee is what we would call a husky dude.
He's like, probably like 320 when he's like trim.
But like when he came back to wrestling, he weighed like around like 350 or so.
And people were like, Ooh, Keith, you might need to get back in the gym there,
buddy. You're getting kind of chubby.
And I believe Keith's wife like posted on social media that while he had myocarditis
from a bad case of COVID, like anything that elevated his heart rate could kill
him. Like literally anything. So like, no, he couldn't get on the treadmill.
He literally couldn't work out until his heart like stopped being so swollen.
He couldn't use his heart in any like actually strenuous activity because it was
potentially lethal.
So, no, he did not have vaccine-induced myocarditis that then became a heart attack randomly on the field for no reason.
Right at that exact moment that he was smashed into.
Right, exactly.
It's so weird that the myocarditis waited for him to tackle a guy and take a shoulder to the chest right before it happened.
It's just like that movie, Died Suddenly.
The pregnant pause before the died suddenly was so perfect.
You may have a future in the podcasting industry.
I'm just really glad that diet suddenly Didn't get anywhere near the traction of like, uh, Plandemic or Fall Cabal or any of that other shit.
The Snake Venom one?
You remember the Snake Venom one?
Yes, yes.
Stupider just sucks.
This shit is mid.
Yep, stop.
Stupider's mid.
Yeah, I really didn't expect a mid attack on Stupider, but both deserved and well executed.
So I salute you for that.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
It is...
It's just so funny the way that, like, um...
These people just, it's so wild to live in a world where validation is the only thing that matters to you.
Like just that, that's it.
That you couldn't wait like five minutes to just jump on social media and start screaming about this and just, just be like, just, just these people showing their asses as quickly and as aggressively as humanly possible about their dumb agenda.
Uh, I said this on Twitter, but it's like, the people that will tell you not to politicize guns after a mass shooting at a school are the exact same people that are just like, vaccine killed this guy.
Absolutely.
No doubt about it.
When it's my agenda, I will politicize the fuck out of it.
When it's your agenda, you're not allowed to say shit.
So you, you, you be quiet.
They're a person who thinks that this guy with a gun killing a lot of people is a sign that maybe guns shouldn't be so easily obtainable and available.
But this guy falling down after a shoulder hit him in the chest, absolutely 100% vaccine related.
And that's the hill I'll die on.
And I got Tucker Carlson running interference for me.
I saw people I saw people like baking like why law enforcement was like outside the hospital and they were like it's because it's a big cover-up it's because they don't want you to know it's because you don't want they they don't want you to know what the real truth is the vaccine his blood is probably filled with whatever the fuck they you know blood clots um and it's like damn these people really live in like X-Files movie they think just like Yeah.
I'm imagining what these people- I mean, they hate the press.
Like, the police are obviously there to keep the press out.
Like, why- And also, like, crowds are, like, forming out there, like, fans.
Like, people went to the stadium and then immediately went outside the hospital.
Like, particularly lunatic fans and press are gonna be the two people who try to get inside.
And maybe these assholes, like, you know, you'd think they could draw in their minds, like, And what did they think they were going to do?
Like, if law enforcement wasn't there, one of them was gonna, like, run in, like... And check his blood!
Right, and check his blood!
Just run in, and of course, well, A, they're gonna run in and check his blood, and B, they're gonna confirm he's dead.
There was like some sack of shit who I'm sure had like a fucking $8 paid for
check Mark who posted a bunch of stuff on Twitter about like,
uh, tomorrow Hamlin has passed. Uh, I have, I have confirmed it with people. He is 100% dead.
And, and people like, like, what was funny is like usually pieces of shit like that
have a kind of cure, we have blocked so many people that their replies are kind
of curated.
But he was actually getting a lot of pushback.
They were like, yo motherfucker, like, like let me let other people officially state this.
Like you have no right fucking going around like the fucking standard chains of communication to make a claim like this.
And the guy was just like, I'm a dumb monster who wants clicks.
So I don't give a shit.
I'll just lie.
Cause I'm terrible.
I was like, man, man, you fucking terrible human beings.
Ugh.
Do they think that in normal situations, where it's not a celebrity, you could just go in and demand to know, excuse me, is someone vaccinated?
What's in their blood?
I just can't get over this.
When I went to the hospital for a broken leg, nobody even asked if I was vaccinated.
Nobody gave a shit.
And that was the middle of 2021.
Or for a broken arm.
For the middle of 2021, nobody cared.
Yeah.
Excuse me, my political motive, my political ideology requires you to make massive HIPAA violations and tell me all sorts of personal details about people's health and their vaccines.
If my best friend, like, passes out in front of me and I take her to the hospital, like, they're not going to tell me what the fuck is wrong with her.
She can't talk.
Like, do you know what I mean?
Like, why are they?
What?
What are they?
I don't.
Oh.
Oh.
The police are there to protect the sanctity of his blood secrets.
Yes, absolutely.
Yeah, because they think that fucking Jordan Sather or fucking Patel Patriot is just gonna rush into the fucking room with a syringe and the doctors are gonna be like, have at it!
There's gonna be a fucking phlebotomist there with like the fucking rubber tie to help him get a vein, like tapping on the inside of their elbow being like, here you go, here you go!
Here's a nice rich vein for you, Matrix!
And he just pulls out all the clot-filled blood and he's like, I knew it!
I done proved it!
It's nothing but clots.
Nothing but clots.
He's got blood in his clot stream.
I mean, that's just the way this works.
It wasn't for those damn police?
No, it wasn't for you meddling kids.
The only thing about this that makes me laugh so much is it's like, okay, you are the Deep State.
You're going to depopulate the world with your devastating clot shot.
You know who I don't let take that shot?
Professional athletes who are gonna be performing on national television who might pass out in front of the world to expose my plot!
Like, when you are a professional athlete on this team, they're gonna be like, okay, so here's the doctor you go to to get your vaccinations.
Uh, you don't go to any other doctors.
And, um, now because this is the deep state and we are all cool, you've all, uh, eaten the baby except for the baby that Elon Trump and he didn't eat for some reason, but you've all eaten it.
So you're all in on the minute.
You're all on point.
You all know the mission.
This doctor is going to give you a salient shot.
You are not going to get the clot shot.
So that way you guys can run around and play football and nothing bad will happen to you.
And the sheep public will be incorrectly believing that the vaccine isn't dangerous.
And in 2038, or whenever it is we finally flip the switch, they'll all die and we'll all live in the World Economic Forum's utopian socialist paradise.
It's going to be incredible.
And then, unfortunately for those dum-dums, Demar Hamlin missed the memo, went to CVS, got the wrong vaccine, and oh no, the jig is up!
I mean, it's like...
But that's what you think.
It's like they're throwing it in your face, you know?
Nothing will make me howl in laughter more than, quote, they're throwing it in your face.
You're so bold.
I'm trying to remember when Katy Perry's halftime show was.
Because every now and then, that was always the big thing before QAnon.
Oh, yes.
Oh, God.
My cousins literally ran out.
They're like, did you see she did the Illuminati symbol?
Yeah.
Oh, that Super Bowl.
Yeah, but like... I think Jay-Z did it too, one year.
Oh, well Jay-Z... It might have been that year.
Well, Jay-Z always did the... Yeah, that's just like his, like... Yeah.
Oh yeah, I just looked it up.
It's Illuminati.
It was in 2015, so it predated QAnon.
But like, that was the... Basically, back in the day, the Super Bowl halftime show was the biggest thing in the Illuminati world.
They loved the Super Bowl halftime show so much.
And there were only... And there was a head-to-head tie win Tails You Lose mentality to the Super Bowl Halftime Show, which was either A, the show is aggressively over-the-top Illuminati, in which case, quote, they're throwing it in your face!
I saw both.
Yes, and the Tales and Loot side of it was that it was tamped down, that there wasn't that much setting imagery because we're onto them and they know it and they have to be quiet with their attempts to commune with ball because otherwise they'll give away the game and expose themselves.
So the Katy Perry one was just over the top.
Oh, they had got so much content out of that.
And when Lady Gaga was going to do the halftime show, she had always been the fucking high priestess of the Illuminati.
They were so chomping at the bit for Lady Gaga's halftime show.
They were going to be out of their minds about it.
And then even Alex Jones came out and said that Lady Gaga's halftime show might be a satanic ritual.
And then there was just very little Illuminati symbolism in Lady Gaga's halftime show.
They were very disappointed.
Well, that is thanks to the brave digital soldiers who spoke out against it.
Yes, absolutely.
That's the tales you lose.
But I watched so many videos of Illuminati Lady Gaga stuff after the halftime show, and they were just like, I got nothing.
I got nothing.
It was nice.
It was because they were because there's this stuff is a game and there are rules to the game and the various
symbols like pillars are Freemasonry, a checkered board floor is Freemasonry.
Um, uh, we'll see.
Lightning is a reference to Satan, so is lions, all kinds of stuff.
And Lady Gaga just did none of it.
She just, like, did none of the shit they were looking for.
And they were just so sad.
They were just like, man, we just didn't get a lot of Illuminati here.
This is unfortunate.
This is... Who's performing this year?
Rihanna, right?
Could be.
I hope she hails Satan and freaks him out.
That would be...
How do we get Lil Nas X to do every Halftime Show forever?
Because the content?
Tremendous!
Yeah, Rihanna is the performer, and she's not quite a Katy Perry or Lady Gaga, but she's up there.
She's pretty Illuminati.
She's like a 7 on the scale of 1 to 10 for how Illuminati she is.
So it'll be interesting to see what they do with that, because they have not had a good halftime show in a while.
Katy Perry was like the pinnacle of just lunatic, Illuminati, just, oh my god.
My favorite guy, because I was into this shit before QAnon ever happened.
I was monitoring these idiots for so long.
My favorite guy.
He did a breakdown of the Katy Perry halftime show.
And this was seen on national television by everybody.
And then when he got to the section where Lenny Kravitz did a duet with her, he put a lot of giant squares of where their bodies were because they were too sexual and they're dancing and they're prancing around the stage.
And that was too hot for his YouTube channel.
He couldn't show you the general location of their pelvises in relation to each other.
Because that would be un-Christ-like.
It was like, dude, it was on natural television, like 100 million people saw it.
Dial it back a little.
We've already been tainted.
We are no longer virginal in our Super Bowl halftime experience.
You can't take us back to that more innocent time before Lenny Kravitz and Katy Perry were gyrating on stage.
We can't go back to the before times.
The world has changed forever.
So, it's just, they're just so desperate to be right about everything that just fucking, uh, Demar Hamlin is not even in the ambulance yet.
Hashtag died suddenly!
Gotta get it out there!
Gotta let everybody know!
For your QAnon promoter shitweasel contest, InTheMatrix was the winner.
He was the big QAnon promoter who just literally jumped off the couch and started banging away, died suddenly, oh my god, boom.
I can't believe my friend Jeff was an asshole.
It breaks my heart.
I think so highly of Jeff.
He's such a good egg.
Good old Jeffrey, who also has me blocked on Truth Social.
It makes me laugh so much.
Wow, he won't even block me.
That's pretty fucked up, man.
Oh, he probably has a crush on you.
Me, I'm probably not.
I'm probably not his type.
He did say I was very good looking in the middle of his insult campaign.
It was in between, she's an enemy of the country, and she hangs out with that loser, Travis View.
But he said, like, McView or something?
He was like, trying to make a pun, but it didn't make any sense.
God, way to be awful at your insults there, Jeffrey.
Yeah, I love the fact that so many of these QAnon people are like, you guys can't handle the facts and in a debate you'd fall apart in no time at all.
And I go on Truth Social where they attempted to dox me.
Literally all they ever do is post photos of fat people and be like, hey Porker, is this you?
Got him.
Got him!
Oh!
And I'm just like, yeah, now can we talk about how Q's fucking wrong about everything?
And they're just like, can't talk about it because you're too fat, idiot!
And I'm like, okay, great, wonderful.
But like, there are some of them who are like, nope, can't even talk to you.
I forget what I said to him.
I said something to Matrix and he was just like, nope, blocked.
And then he quote tweeted what I said.
And his quote tweet was blocked.
He was just like... When he gets accounts briefly, he always follows me back.
So this actually shocks me because he will say stuff about me on his live stream and then I'll tweet about what he has said about me on his live stream, directing it at him, and then he'll read it on his live stream!
We have conversations!
So I'm actually shy.
I assumed he was just like, he loved a good fight, is what I thought.
No, no, no.
Man, you must have really got under his skin.
No, he just doesn't want to have sex with me.
That's really what it comes down to.
Come on, Jeffrey.
Broaden your horizons.
I'm a big bearded bear.
Like, come on, man.
He's sad and lonely because his girlfriend left him because of all the QAnon stuff, and she took the dogs.
Well, now the harsh cruelty here is if he wants to listen to you, he has to listen to me!
He is in my article, my big article coming out.
I hope he name searches, but I only use his real name.
I only say Jeffrey Peterson.
I don't say his moniker.
Oh, he absolutely name searches.
They all do.
His name is, like, spelled weird, you know?
So it's, like, better.
Because Jeffrey Peterson is too easy.
Yes.
Yeah.
He's the fucking worst, man.
He sucks.
You heard it, Jeffrey.
You're the worst.
He will never love you, no matter how much you dream of it.
It's not going to happen.
So that whole ordeal aside, and hopefully we get more and more good news about Damar Hamlin's condition.
The last reports I saw that the doctors see promising signs from the tests they had done on him recently.
So here's the hoping.
Here's the hoping for all the best for that young man and that his tragic incident being used by shitheads doesn't end up going badly.
So fuck you people.
You're all monsters and I hate you.
Yeah.
Donate to his toy drive.
Yes, donate to the toy drive!
Let's get it up to $17 million and thus make Damar Hamlin a digital soldier that they'll love then.
Every child gets a toy.
Yes.
And we will conclude our headlines with the optimistic, cheerful good news of the past week, which was the fact that In Florida, former disgraced Brazilian President Bolsonaro is busy eating at a KFC while Lula, who the QAnon was promising us was going to be removed by a military coup, or the vote fraud was going to be exposed, or something was going to happen.
Not so much.
Lula took the oath of office and is now officially the, as they would say in the Twitter files, the sitting president of Brazil.
Because it's very important.
So if Elon shuts down Lula's Twitter account, he can be yelled at for denying a sitting president their Twitter.
Because that's what they love saying.
Talabibi loves saying that in his fucking things about how a sitting president was taken away from Twitter.
How much time did he have left in office?
12 days!
That's not the point!
He's a short timer.
He was going to spend half those days golfing anyways.
We really didn't need to read his tweets from the 18th hole in his remaining lame duckery.
So whatever.
And beyond Brazil, where again the military did not save democracy and now the deep state's adrenochrome farms are working double time to make up for the lack of adrenochrome we were getting from Brazil during Bolsonaro's run.
In the burning hellscape of Arizona, which we talk about a lot because Haley's on this show, and also QAnon is apparently just ground zero for... Arizona's ground zero for QAnon, Katie Hobbs is now actually the governor of Arizona.
That is a thing that happened.
Carrie Lake, not the governor of Arizona.
So you say.
So I do!
So it is, no matter how angry they are.
Yep, she was sworn in Monday?
Yep, so it is no matter how angry they are.
Yep, she was sworn in Monday?
Yes, January 1st.
I thought it was going to be Wednesday, but I saw the...
Tomorrow and Thursday they're having like a more public ceremony.
Like one out on the like Capitol lawn.
Yeah.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause our, our governor Baker did his farewell address and I think our new, I think our new governor is getting sworn in, I think our new governor is getting sworn in tomorrow and they were talking about like the whole like pageantry of the new, Powerless figurehead of Massachusetts, which I love to talk about, because we are controlled by our state Congress.
Our governor just signs the piece of paper they put in front of him or her.
That's all you do as governor.
And wear nice clothes and talk about snow emergencies when they happen.
Legislatively, you have no sway in this state.
You are just collecting a check.
And if you're Mitt Romney, you use the title of governor to run for president and lose to Barack Obama.
Congratulations, Elizabeth Girth.
You did a great job not winning the presidency, Mitt.
But yeah, Katie Hobbs, your governor of Arizona.
Suck it, QAnon.
You lose.
I saw our friend from earlier, Praying Medic, talking about how back in the day there was an illegitimate governor of Arizona for over a year.
Yep.
They're obsessed with that.
Even the Carrie War Room has mentioned that.
So it's in Carrie lore right now.
They're going to two more weeks for at least another year.
Uh, the moment you said that in Carrie lore, all I could think of was carrying on.
Oh no.
Yeah.
Also, cause like not that many people care anymore.
Like a lot of people moved on, but, uh, the main, uh, uh, Tracy Beans is obsessed with the Carrie Lake trial.
So the Carrie Lake account and like a couple of AZGOP people just keep sharing Tracy Bean stuff.
Cause she's the only person that really gives a shit at this point.
I hate what you're saying.
Yeah.
It sucks.
Also some dude from, like, Tim Pool Show.
You know, hard-hitting journalist Tim Pool guy.
I have no idea.
Or is it the lunatic they sent out to follow Kanye to Los Angeles?
Maybe that one.
What's his name?
Because that guy sucks.
I can't remember.
I just call him the Kanye lunatic.
He does not have many Twitter followers, I don't think.
I'll get to see later.
Tim Pool journalist guy.
Bad writer.
Yeah, they call him... I'm a journalist guy.
But yeah, Carrie's Abe Hamaday for Attorney General is challenging his race again.
It was just announced today.
And Carrie's taking it all to the Supreme Court, so we're getting more...
We're getting more grifting for lawsuits that will result in failure because that's literally all these people have.
She has like a million still on hand from her actual election and Lindell is paying for her shit anyway and she's still asking for money.
The grift is strong.
Oh god.
Well, uh, dammit, that was supposed to be a high note to get us to the mailbag.
Now you're bumming me out.
Oh, uh, but fucking she loses, so who cares?
Fair enough.
On to the mailbag on a high note, the way we were envisioning it before.
Our listeners got questions.
We got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So Daniel asks, have you noticed people leaving QAnon?
What do they talk about now that Trump has failed them and embarrassed them nonstop?
What is their new plan?
And then as a comment, he adds, BTW, I love Amanda and Arizona right wing watchers, guests, hands making a heart emoji.
Oh, my God.
We love you.
We love all listeners, unless you commit horrible crimes that I do not endorse.
But I mean, thank you for listening.
Yes, we love you with that caveat.
Thank you.
Thank you.
She's my lawyer.
We love you unconditionally.
Conditions apply.
There's some conditions that apply, but I do love you for listening.
I'll go first in the sense that I, I feel like QAnon is losing momentum.
I feel like the people that are in the movement, it's really hard to leave a movement like this once you are in a movement like this.
I think that like once you are pilled, getting out of that is tough, but new recruiting is not a easy thing for them to do.
I remember like a year or so ago, Like PepeLivesMatter had a thing where he was like, when did you get pilled?
And it was basically like before, before the pandemic, during the pandemic or after the pandemic.
And after the pandemic was like the massive loser, like basically everyone got in either pre COVID or during the lockdowns.
And then after that, there really wasn't this inciting factor to bring people into the movement.
There wasn't this thing that could cook you into buying into their bullshit and If you think about 2023, it's going to suck.
There's no election that matters.
All that's going to happen is the House is going to do some dumb, meaningless investigations that are going to go nowhere.
Nothing in 2023 is going to move the needle unless something crazy happens.
I forget who it was.
It might have been Beer on the Parade, but some QAnon promoter was like, I'm okay with waiting until 1-20-25, as long as once Trump's hands off the Bible, they start cuffing and stuffing everybody.
And I'm like, you're putting this thing off two fucking years?
You're really just gonna drag this shit out?
And it's like, of course you are.
You're a grifter.
You need attention and people following you, and you know you don't have a payoff, so you gotta drag it out.
Like there were so many QAnon followers that were mad when Trump just said, which was like, I got my big announcement coming.
And it was just like, I'm running for president.
Like, cause people want it now.
They want to pay off.
They've been invested for like five fucking years and now they got to wait two more.
Bullshit.
So, I mean, like, I think my favorite part of that was like clandestine, uh, the bio labs idiot.
He was literally like, if Trump just declares he's running for president, that is not enough.
We need more.
And then like a month later, he just talked himself right back into just being another sheep, just getting right back on the movement.
And it was like, dude, stand your ground, fight, argue.
And he's like, nope, just gonna be a cowardly little bitch, just stamp my little feet about Trump not doing enough, but now I gotta do my thing because I'm the Biolabs guy and I have nothing better with my life, so this is the bet I've made for myself, now I gotta lay in it.
And it's just like, great, congratulations.
You're just another sad anon who's never gonna get the payoff.
Like, all of you.
So.
I do think that like, again, leaving, not so much joining.
That's the real, the forward momentum of QAnon is stalled.
And the last thing I'll say here before I fucking stop talking so that my co-host can speak is that I'm The thing about QAnon, the reason why it got bigger than the Illuminati and all this stuff is because of the false hope.
Because you had a protagonist who was going to save the world and defeat the deep state and do good things.
And now you don't really have that.
You have Trump hanging out at Mar-a-Lago, whining about maybe being indicted soon, pouting about Kevin McCarthy not winning the speakership.
Like the, the hero of the story is weak and feeble at this point.
And whatever he did, like he's done a six minute video and a five minute video recently.
And the number of cuts in those videos is terrifying.
Like some of those videos are literally Simpsons level sweet can, where they're just like editing together the dumb shit he says to try to make it flow.
And it's like.
Honestly, I don't know that Trump's going to be a candidate in 2024 just due to health reasons.
He just looks like shit.
He looks like shit.
He looks so bad.
He just looks like shit.
He looks like he's struggling through these pre-recorded five-minute speeches.
And then you're going to add the stress of him fighting all these legal things.
Even if he's not indicted, the specter of indictment is going to be over him all year long.
And it's just really unconducive to a guy in his mid-70s who's morbidly obese, just having that gumption to go out and start shaking hands and kissing babies and magging all over America.
So yeah, I feel like they're trending towards a more darker, sadder, Illuminati future, which is both troubling for what the people that are believing in it and bad for their recruitment goals.
So that's where I'm at, and I'm going to shut up now.
Well, you're the QAnon expert, Mike.
Do you think that there's kind of Elements of QAnon that have just seeped into, like, the general political discourse, like, that we're kind of stuck with now.
Like the Balenciaga thing, you know, that wasn't started by a QAnoner, exactly.
But it kind of like grew into this kind of QAnon feeling thing.
Well, I think election denial is something that's going to be mainstream.
I think like I think a lot of things are going to like the amount of anti-vax we have now.
But the thing is that's so annoying about all of it is that It's mostly just QAnon sort of grabbing on to the conspiracy of the day.
I don't know how the start of Balenciaga went, but I know the moment it got hot, QAnon grabbed it and ran with it.
Liz Crokin does nothing but post, Balenciaga is Pizzagate!
Literally every other post she has on Truth Social is just that.
She's just obsessed with turning Balenciaga into Pizzagate, and it's all the same thing, and bloobity blobity.
So yeah.
And you kind of see that in like mainstream people like Charlie Kirk, you know?
Not necessarily like QAnon influencers, but... Yeah, but Charlie Kirk's out there telling us it's like that movie, Died Suddenly.
It's like, Died Suddenly?
Yeah.
So Cleodora Silvestri, Hellworld's Grand Inquisitor asks, what is the funniest piece of Q merch you've come across so far?
Oh, my God.
Oh, funniest?
Yeah, funniest.
Yes.
Oh, geez.
Well, I do.
I talked about this last week.
I got this, like, squeezy Trump.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I didn't show Amanda so she could see.
Look, his ice cream's out.
Move him over a little.
You're out of shot.
I love him.
Yeah, that's so great.
He's cute.
Oh, it's got a key ring on him.
Yeah, it's a keychain, but I keep him at my desk.
I go to like a lot of MAGA stuff, so I get a lot of free shit.
So I got ridiculous shit.
Yeah, me too.
I'm like literally trying to think of the best stuff.
I, you know, I saw so many good things.
It's hard to say.
I have, uh, I have two shirts that I actually did buy at Trump events, MAGA events.
Uh, one is like Joe Biden photoshopped as, with a turban and he's holding a rocket launcher and it says, make the Taliban great again.
Fuck.
Yeah.
And then a Taliban.
Huh?
But they like the Taliban.
Yeah.
I don't really understand.
It's just funny.
Biden looks so funny in the edit.
That's an amazing shirt.
I want to see a photo of it later.
Yeah.
DM me the photo.
I'm going to post that.
Absolutely.
I also have one that's like Hunter Biden in the tub and it says hookers and blow on it.
God.
My generic one is just the Punisher skull with the Trump comb over on it.
I just love that.
It's so emasculating.
It's the Punisher with fat orange slobs, dumb weird hair on it.
And they think that makes it more macho.
It's like, God, jeez.
I love that.
And now Haley is showing us the Trump Calvin pissing on the word Biden.
Yes.
Yeah.
He's so happy.
It looks like a butt.
His face looks like a butt.
Also, Trump is so happy in peeing on the Biden.
I honestly think he's coming.
I honestly think that Trump is cranking it in that photo and that's not pee, it's cum.
The smile on Trump's face.
No, we're baking.
When Calvin's peeing on the Ford logo, he's got like a mischievous, like sort of like, heh heh heh, take that Ford.
I'm urinating on you.
The Trump in that photo is like, oh, oh God, Biden.
Yeah.
It's like, oh no.
Oh no.
My favorite thing I ever got was when QAnon John gave me the, um, the poster of Trump, like holding the flag so lovingly.
Like he's like...
Yeah, the Trump flag fucking, yeah.
The thing to me is like, every time I look at that photo, when I see Trump's dumb smiling face, all I can think in my head is he's thinking, you fucking rubes.
You absolute morons.
I can't believe I do this shit and you buy it.
Like, I just look at him and he's just like, oh God, it's so easy to play these people.
And they're looking at him going, that patriot loves the flag so much!
And it's like, no, they're selling posters of that moment for $25.
You know, like, yeah, you know, it's so performative.
And he knows, it's like when he said, if they win, I get all the credit.
And if they lose, I get none of the blame.
It's just like, he's such a con man.
And it's like, the fact that like, QAnon's whole mythology is used discernment, and they can't use discernment to see what Trump is.
It's just fucking wild.
It's so wild.
I want my photographer to let me do that pose.
I'm going to recreate it.
Go on.
Sorry.
I just remembered that I have a cowboy hat with Trump on it, but it's like, the pattern is Trump photoshopped as Superman.
And it's the whole hat.
That's terrible.
I thought you meant like a cowboy hat with like a little Trump emblem on the front where you put the logo or a star.
Okay, so it's tackier than I could have dreamed.
It's tacky.
Incredible.
Placeholder asked, did the U.S.
always have weird regular people simp for rich guys?
Were random mechanics and shop clerks writing into the Dearborn Independent to thank Henry Ford for publishing it?
Or wishing Howard Hughes would swoop in as airplane daddy and save the nation from something?
I'm sure that like, like sort of like simping for capitalism has always been around, but I think the internet has made it like more.
Simping for the king.
Yeah, just simping for orange daddy.
I think that's always been around, but I don't, I think the internet has made it more of a inclusive group and more easy to notice where people like are just watching Elon roll out the knife truck Shit wagon thing.
And people are like, how dare you?
How dare you mock his genius?
He's the greatest.
He's going to put us on Mars.
I love you, Elon.
Give me a blue check.
I don't have eight bucks.
The saddest creatures.
We're also in the era of like billionaires, like tech billionaires.
I don't think that's helping.
Nope.
Not so much.
Billionaire worship is something else.
I think it's like an extension of being a temporarily embarrassed millionaire, you know, like people vote that way.
I think it's just a logical extension of it.
And then like, I don't know, it's like, they, these people are like, now relatable idiots are becoming very wealthy.
You know, so like, like, you could be like, you could be before people could be morons and be wealthy, and you just wouldn't know.
But now it's like, I'm kind of like Elon, you know, we like the same stuff.
We hate the same people.
Hell yeah.
When I invent PayPal, whatever.
When my daddy on the Emerald Apartheid mine gives me a cut of money to start building businesses, everything's gonna be great.
Yeah.
You know, I'm gonna be bros.
Yeah, so it's creepy and sick and bad and all of it.
Rogue Lodge Games asks, did any of you used to go look at AboveTopSecret.com back before Trump and Q and just read the insane postings about aliens or pyramids?
Or if not that one, was there any other site you used to visit just for kicks?
What was your conspiracy world like before 2016?
Um, for me, it was Vigilant Citizen and shit like that, because I was following the Illuminati.
I was following these people that were doing this kind of stuff,
decoding music videos, uh, proving that Lady Gaga was a member of the Illuminati and
Jay Z and Beyonce and all that kind of stuff.
I was really into this YouTube channel called the call for an uprising.
Some people have told me that guy's real name a bunch of times.
He, the thing about call for an uprising, it was hilarious.
Was when he got exposed to Q, he hated it.
I just checked him out a couple of months ago.
He loves Q now because of course that's why these people work.
But I was mostly an Illuminati person.
I never did Above Top Secret, but I was just into the whole eyes and, like, it was the gamification.
It was the beginning of the ARG, because people call QAnon a LARP, but it's more like Pokemon Go, where you're just looking at the world from a heads-up display and, like, you just see something.
Normal people see it as an advertisement with a pretty lady.
You see it as Illuminati coding because her hair is covering one of her eyes.
And it's just like living in that altered reality.
That was the world that I was monitoring and reporting on before Pizzagate and before QAnon, which I got into late in the game because I, my Twitter account says I started in August of 2018 and Q was posting in the end of 17.
So.
Basically people were just like, QAnon, QAnon, QAnon.
I'm like, that sounds like the Illuminati.
Looked into it.
Yup.
Just Illuminati with Trump as a hero.
This is the fucking tale as old as time.
So what were you guys like before this shit or were you even into this shit before 2016?
I was totally, uh, as a kid into 9-11 conspiracies.
Uh, I did my junior research project on the 9-11 conspiracies.
Really?
I'm a 9-11 truther.
Oh god, jet fuel can't melt steel.
I'm not a truther.
I'm not a truther.
jet fuel can't melt steel.
I'm not a, uh, well, I won't get into it, but, but I'm saying I'm not a truther.
I'm just, she's an infiltrator.
Uh, but anyway, no, the junior research project is supposed to
just like present both sides, but I did it because I was like, Oh, I could do that.
I'm obsessed with 9-11 conspiracies.
Um, what else?
My mom is super into aliens, so, like, she's an actual true believer in aliens, so, like, growing up, it's just like, you hear fucking dumb shit.
I mean...
And then, like, I was Jehovah's Witness, so I'm kind of, like, low-key obsessed with, like, all things Jehovah's Witness.
You and Martin Geddes should hang out once they put him in jail in England.
Once they put him in jail in England for tax evasion, you can visit him in jail and talk about your lives as growing up Jehovah's.
And Prince.
Even though he's dead.
But in heaven.
I'll talk.
We'll talk.
Yes.
So what was your dark past, Amanda?
I did not need a website when I could just talk to my father.
I also, like, I don't know, I've always been very interested in like, like the race science kind of stuff.
And like following that, which I guess is like, it's bullshit lies.
I don't know if I would call it a conspiracy theory in the same vein, but like aliens and pyramids never really took my interest.
But, you know, I grew up with it.
So that was that was enough for Amanda.
And finally, Daniel sneaks in with a second question.
How dare you, Daniel?
And the gist of his question is Trump blamed the Republican losses in the midterms on the way they handled the abortion issue.
What's been QAnon's take on that?
Their take on it is total silence because they hate abortion.
They want it outlawed in every way, shape and form.
And having Trump come out as a squish on abortion is something that does not fit their narrative.
QAnon is very much about fitting their narrative.
With the people that will talk to me on Truth Social, I'll be like, Trump promoted the vaccine.
The vaccine kills everybody.
Why do you accept that?
The dodging and explaining and the spinning for why Trump endorsing the murder vaccine that the Deep State is using to depopulate the world.
It's wild.
It's wild the ways they try to justify and excuse it.
So it's very funny.
But I have actually heard pretty much nobody on QAnon talking about Trump's abortion comments because they can't.
Because it goes against their narrative.
It goes against their narrative that life begins at conception, and all abortions are murder, and blah blah blah, and all that.
They are just super hardline pro-life, aka forced birth, aka women should be barefoot and pregnant and don't have rights.
All of that stuff.
And they're, I think that one of the strangest things that happened in the past year's elections, like when Kerry Lake lost or all their heroes lost, they were like, fraud, fraud, rigged, blah, blah, blah.
I didn't hear fucking any of them talk about that referendum in Kansas where that, where like keeping abortion legal in Kansas, like passed in the landslide, like blood red Kansas.
It's just like, we fucking love abortion.
Abortion is great.
I didn't, I just didn't hear any cute on people going after them.
Oh, that referendum was rigged, blah, blah, blah.
Cause they just couldn't even handle it.
Like they couldn't even wrap their heads around it.
They didn't want to talk about it because they're right about everything.
They know America hates abortion, but when Americans overwhelmingly vote in favor of it, like they can't even cry fraud for some reason.
It's really strange.
So that is basically what I've seen.
I don't know if you, I don't know if you two have seen anything different, but that's what I see on social media.
Um, I've kind of seen like, cause I follow, you know, like every flavor of far right weirdo, um, like pro-lifers kind of got like, like pro-lifers got mad kind of at it.
Um, and they were basically like saying like, uh, well, ending row is worth losing an election or two kind of attitude.
Yeah.
It's a long-term game.
But more like neocon types, just like traditional, or not like traditional conservatives, but
like just the neocon type.
The conservatives that want to win were basically like, maybe we should have focused more on
like medical fascism.
That was what I saw Christina Pusha saying, which is DeSantis' lady mouthpiece.
The mouth of Sauron.
Yeah.
Sorry, but did we just hear from Arizona Right Wing Watch that, like, Khan Inc.
is the one who has a reasonable take on this.
I love the way that you phrased it, though.
You're like, oh, the establishment types, you know.
You know, like the suits, the suits.
The losers.
Yeah, the people who aren't just like totally their one issue is abortion.
You know, the ones that want to win, they want to win.
Some do want to win, you know, but some of the like pro life people are like, I'll lose every fucking election from here on out.
If it meant overturning Roe v. Wade, which is the most sinful thing on this fucking planet in there.
That's right.
I think my favorite thing about that was the one, the first thing you said where they were like losing a couple of lectures is fine.
Cause it's like, yeah, women aren't going to get raped after two or four years from now.
Women aren't going to have a true.
Pregnancies that can only be salvaged by an abortion or they might die in four years.
In four years, women's biology and men being monstrous rapists, that's all going to go away.
And this whole abortion issue is going to be a non-starter for everybody.
It's going to be smooth sailing for the Republican Party.
It's going to be great.
It's like, uh, FYI, you idiots caught the car.
Now you have to deal with it.
Like that's just the way this is going to work.
And you're going to have people like those people that are never going to stop being like, yep.
Like, throw them in jail, death penalty, abortion, murder.
Those people are not, they're not in the closet anymore.
They're now in your living room.
They're eating cereal with you.
And you can't, you can't put them in the closet anymore now that that row's been overturned.
So you lose, idiots.
Well, I mean, it's like Matt Walsh tweeted the other day.
He was like, you know, you can't say that you're like pro-life because of a moral reason because it's, you know, life.
Um, and then also say there's exceptions to it.
And it's like, I don't think his point was that that's good, but he's right.
I mean, it's like, otherwise, it's the trolley thing.
And like, that takes a lot more like thought and debate.
You can't I mean, and so yeah, like, I think I honestly, I think that the lunatics, I think that the paleo conservative fringe freaks, I think that they're in the morally consistent position.
Everybody else is full of shit.
Right?
So like, yeah.
Good.
Fucking eat each other.
Great.
Anyway, my guys have moved on to Kanye, so we don't care about Trump anymore over here.
Right.
Yeah.
That was, uh, I'll, I'll finish this up real quick here.
It was just that like, I, I went at, I think, I think I was talking to Outlaw and, um, I was just like, why are you okay with Trump promoting the vaccines?
And all these people were dodging and diving and doing bullshit.
And one guy was just like, Trump promoting the clod shots proves that he's sold out and he is a piece of shit and it is wrong.
And I was like, oh my God, you're morally consistent.
I can't believe this.
You're like the unicorn of conspiracy theorists who actually like vaccines kill people.
Trump approves of the vaccines.
Trump bad!
They actually managed to add two and two together and get four!
It was so wild and refreshing!
It was just like, oh, you've got to be kidding me.
So that will conclude the questions from our listeners.
The final question, as always, is what are you looking forward to?
Amanda and Hayley, looking forward to nothing.
Life is dark and horrifying.
No, kidding.
Okay, wait, I can think of something.
No.
I'm going to happy hour tomorrow.
And I just had COVID and could not leave the house for 10 days.
Oh, that's awesome.
And I'm really excited to leave the house.
Freedom.
Freedom is what we look forward to.
Yes.
Yeah.
I'm excited because I'm going to go out and get my unruly beard trimmed for the first time in a little while.
Because that is something that just... I finally found a barber that doesn't just take it off.
One day, four or five months ago, I walked into a barbershop that was near my house.
I was like, hey, can you tighten this up a little?
Give me a little trim?
They were like, sure thing!
And I was like, well, that's 80% of it gone.
What the fuck were you doing?
All my work.
No!
No!
Because like, for an incredibly long period of time in my life, I just couldn't grow a beard.
And then one day it was like, I was like, I'm just going to, I'm just going to force a will this shit.
I'm just not shaving forever.
I'm going to see if it's possible.
And then it just happened.
So I was like, success!
I've done it.
I have defeated my inability to grow facial hair.
I am now a god, a god of slovenliness.
So.
And Hayley, do you have anything to look forward to, or is this just it?
Not really.
I don't have anything going.
Are we in?
Yeah, you guys are it for this week.
I can't think ahead of this right now.
Are you looking forward to Kevin McCarthy's sixth round of rejection?
Yeah, that'll be fun to watch.
Watching C-SPAN, that's what we're all looking forward to.
Watching C-SPAN until we have a resolution.
Maybe there's no resolution.
Maybe the House of Representatives is just abolished and we go to a unicameral legislature, which is just the Senate.
This is a deep state conspiracy to get C-SPAN's numbers up for advertisers.
Yes, absolutely.
That's right.
Matt Gaetz is a psy-op.
Oh God, if I made clips of this show, I'd definitely have a bump.
Matt Gaetz is a psy-op.
So, um...
Yeah, but this is where we get ready to leave, but because... What are you looking forward to?
I told you, getting my beard trimmed!
Oh, that's right.
Yeah!
Yes, yes, yes.
Last week it was ice cream.
How was it?
Oh, the ice cream's great.
Richardson's Dairy is the best.
They are truly...
And now we've, for Amanda, Richardson's Dairy actually has the cows on site during the summer.
Sometimes they're very fragrant.
You can get manure from them.
And they literally just have, they have the cows, they bring the milk next door, boom, ice cream.
It is just the most, yeah, it is a super efficient project.
But what was I going to say?
And also, hopefully this weekend we'll have football without anyone, you know, like the movie.
Dying suddenly, so yes.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to just regular football that's not tragedy, that has anti-vaxxers screaming and yelling like the fucking monsters they are.
Just good old American football.
Yes, and so this is where we, we're usually, Elle just goes on a stem winder before wrapping it up, but I have two guest hosts on here now, so here's where we have you guys plug your socials and also Not that it really matters, because I am a much smaller fish than him.
Amanda plugs her big podcast appearance she'll be having this week, or whenever it gets posted up.
I have made Amita fall over in laughter thinking about this.
Am I allowed to say it?
I guess it's not a secret.
Go for it!
Oh, so I'll be on Michael Cohen's podcast in the very near future because we recorded it yesterday.
Sweet!
Yeah, and he actually asked me about how did they, you know, square the vaccine thing.
I was thinking about it while you're talking about it.
I'm like, oh, I just had to explain this to Michael Cohen 24 hours.
Hey, talk to his producers.
I'll be more than happy to explain the vaccine thing to them.
Oh my god.
Michael Cohen, have me on the show.
But yeah, and you can be found at not a turtle 17 or not not turtle soup 17.
NoTurtleSoup17, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Substack, Facebook, Tumblr, Mastodon, whatever we're doing now and there.
Yeah.
Do people use posts?
Have people actually?
Oh yeah, that one too.
It's fucking awful.
It really is.
It's like, fucking...
I have a post account, but I haven't posted anything really on there yet.
Until Twitter dies, I'm just gonna stay there and just, like, mock Elon for being dumb.
Yes.
I'm on Twitter, and Madison's on Arizona Rightwing Watch.
And she has a substack!
I do have a substack, that's right, yes.
I love how we're like helping each other plug our own stuff.
We're the saddest people in the world.
No one knows how to self-promote.
And so that concludes what hopefully will be a very successful, well, it's the most successful episode of Adventures in Hellworld this year.
That's definitely a true statement.
So for Amanda and Hayley, I would like to say thanks.
Also, I would like to say thanks to FrostyVO, who does all of our bumps and whenever Q shows up.
He's also the voice of Q, so we thank him.
For our listeners, standard thing, if you don't get any money, just give us a five-star review, tell your friends, tell your neighbors, put Hellworld in your Twitter handle the way Cleodora does, because she's the best.
If you do have money and you wish to give it to us, go to patreon.com slash pokerpolitics.
For $5 or more, you can unlock the bonus content that we've hidden behind a paywall like monsters.
So you can listen to me talk about the Kennedy assassination, American history, and listen to me, Ellen Sarge, talk about 2,000 mules!
Fall Cabal and Out of Shadows, the movie that was made by a Hollywood stuntman who got killed by a doctor and is now Liz Crocken's best friend.
That's totally how his life went.
Sucks to be you, Mike Smith.
If you do have money and you don't want to give it to me and these other clowns, please go to love146.org and give it to them so they can fight human trafficking, which is awesome.
Or again, as we said previously, go to Damar Hamlin's GoFundMe page and give money for the toy drive and get that thing up to $5 million.
Let's continue to show the world that we're not fucking terrible people.
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