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June 16, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:40:24

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #91: Drunk Rudy and Dinesh Mockery

The 1/6 Committee is here to claim Rudy is a drunk and that Dinesh is a shameless conman and we are here for all of it. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	♪♪♪ Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
	Howdy, howdy, howdy.
	And the mysterious Elle.
	Hey, my beautiful babies.
	How's it going?
	Oh.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	God, I love that dub voice.
	What a lad Patrick Warburton is.
	Just the other day I was watching a video essay on YouTube about how great the Emperor's New Groove is.
	Yeah, man, every time I hear about that and then I hear about how it was supposed to be super serial, I'm just like, I absolutely cannot picture it.
	Yeah, but it was always supposed to have David Spade in the lead, so at one point it was supposed to be, like, a Macbeth-ian, like, drama, like The Lion King was, but set in the Aztec Kingdom, but still with David Spade as the lead, whose name was slightly different.
	It did not start off as Cusco.
	Was Andy Dick busy?
	What the fuck?
	Like... I mean, hey, it was the 90s.
	Maybe Andy Dick WAS busy.
	Yeah, doing coke.
	Hey, Ogre.
	Yeah, I actually dealt cards to Andy Dick for a half hour.
	Shut up!
	Really?
	Yeah, he practically didn't move in his chair.
	He had that middle distance stare going to him.
	Was he wearing sunglasses?
	Are you sure that he wasn't being weekend at Bernie'sed by a couple of people?
	Andy Dick and his two good friends showed up at my table one time and it was great.
	Yeah, that would have been awesome.
	No, he didn't have shades.
	He was just, he was just, he was just, he was not there.
	He was, he was playing cards, but he, I don't, I don't think he played a hand in the half hour.
	He was just folding and staring into nowhere.
	It was incredibly unimpressive.
	I had no idea who he was.
	Someone pointed it out and they were like, that's Andy Dick.
	And I was like, who?
	And they were like, this guy.
	And I was like, okay, whatever.
	Like, whatever, yeah.
	So, that was... Nice multi-layer tangent to start the show, and continuing that trend.
	I do have to say, Weekend at Bernie's hits different now that I'm an adult, and society is advanced.
	Because, like, I've seen that movie within the past 10 years, and the whole time I'm just like...
	Yeah, that's like a corpse, though.
	I mean, I guess these are funny situations and stuff, but I have a lot of questions about how it smells, and why is it still in one piece, and it's just a lot of dead weight.
	I don't know.
	Let's reboot Weekend at Bernie's.
	Let's not pay for the license.
	Let's just make a rip-off version called Three Good Friends.
	And a corpse?
	No, the corpse is one of the friends.
	Oh, okay.
	And the other two are the guys on either side of it.
	Come on, man.
	This ain't Weekend at Bernie's 2 where Voodoo Magic lets him walk around independently.
	This is the first one where two guys have to pilot him.
	I stopped a cat from eating my microphone stand there.
	Yeah, we heard it.
	We were recording it.
	It was great.
	I'm sure the listeners really enjoyed it.
	They're going to be like, what the fuck was that all about?
	It's just like, well, this time you get an answer.
	It's cat attacks.
	Yeah, it's cat attacking.
	I never know how far to go when, like, the cat is doing something up here because I don't want to shout into the microphone, but it's just like...
	Sometimes you gotta eat a microphone, because it pleases your mouth.
	Or, one could say that it amuses your boosh!
	Yeah!
	Which is my segue for... It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the accused boosh.
	Okay, it's better than a boos kush.
	Which was just awful.
	But, accused boosh, accused is an actual thing!
	That's a word that already exists!
	Yeah, that was Frosty's reaction, and that's why Frosty went to the Audible for the amuse-couche.
	Whose idea was it to try to wedge a Q in there?
	It's not me.
	Hey, we're all Q all the time here, so I went for it.
	In situations like this, where it's impossible because both ways are terrible, for wildly different reasons, I will give you that.
	You just, like, when we spell it out, when we ever have cause to spell it out, like if we start doing show notes or something, then you replace the O with a Q, just like we did in Hellworld.
	But we don't try to pronounce it, Hell-wick-world.
	That's nonsense.
	Disagree?
	You want to start?
	You want to switch?
	You want to rebrand?
	Adventures in Hel-Hel-Helcworld?
	Yes.
	Helcworld.
	Hellquorld?
	Yes.
	Hellquorld.
	Hellquorld.
	This is like the family guy bit with Cool Whip, so it's gonna be great.
	I've already mentioned Patrick Wardburn.
	People love Family Guy.
	It's hot.
	It's the year of our Lord 2022, and Family Guy, it's hotter now than ever.
	Absolutely.
	Absolutely.
	All right, back on topic.
	We're supposed to be talking about Q&A.
	We've got six full minutes without mentioning them once, so let's go in strong to the amuse-bouche and talk about a friend of the show by which we have talked about her several times and I feel a way about her, Lauren Boebert.
	So, according to this, the newly named, newly rebranded, I should say, pack of people that took down quote-unquote Madison Cawthorne, now they're coming for Boebert, and their initial salvo is bold, to say the least.
	What's going on with Lauren Boebert?
	Okay, so American muckrakers are trying to cash in on all the credibility they got against Madison Cawthorn because they had the videos, they had the Venmo's, they had all that stuff to try to paint Madison Cawthorn as being gay, which is basically there was their attack in the Republican primary.
	So now, They've decided to go whole hog on Lauren Boebert with an allegation that she was an escort, that she had an affair with Ted Cruz, that she had at least two abortions and one of them was due to her escort work.
	And just literally all the shit you could possibly throw at somebody with no sourcing, no evidence for any of this.
	This is, I mean, this is like pure Blue Anon bullshit where you have, you just literally say all the things you want some people to believe about this person.
	And of course it's gone incredibly viral because people love this shit.
	They want to dunk on Lauren Boebert.
	She's like universally hated by the left.
	And the thing that's really kind of funny on the other side is I've seen people being upset about these attacks, being like, they're going after sex workers, they're trying to make abortion sound bad, blah, blah, blah.
	And it's like, to me and anyone, like for me, like when Mike Raines decides to run for Congress to get a blue checkmark on Twitter and get 2% of the vote, I'm going to be like, yo, legalize sex work.
	Boom.
	That's something that should be done.
	All of this shit they're saying is just catnip for Republican primary voters.
	They're trying to slander her in the eyes of a very specific group of people who don't care for those things.
	That's it.
	But to be fair, that doesn't invalidate that criticism of it.
	Which I don't think you were saying.
	I want to make sure the listeners know up front that we're not trying to validate it.
	Just because those people are playing to that bass and those people would love to say those things does not make those things any less horrible to try to just be like, yeah, and she went to have an abortion!
	Am I right, guys?
	What a fucking slut!
	And it's like, no, that's perfectly fine.
	You're a monster.
	Just to make it perfectly clear what side of this we're on, like, these attacks are gross, and if they are true or not, it is irrelevant, because they are gross.
	And also, neither of those things are really that big of a deal, except for... If she ended up sleeping with Ted Cruz or whatever, then yeah, for money especially, then yes, certainly.
	But, like, in general, being an escort, having abortions, like, who cares?
	Right, exactly, but this is the thing... Well, a lot of people, unfortunately.
	No, this is the thing, is that, like, when we were talking about Cawthorn and losing his primary, the dude's a fucking Nazi who sexually harassed every woman in his college.
	There was so much shit about that guy that was disqualifying, and apparently that just didn't impact Republican primary voters, so they had to hit him with, he might be gay, as a way to, like, sour the milk.
	Good old-fashioned homophobia.
	Right.
	And it works, because Republicans are the worst.
	Exactly.
	So I do understand why they would make this thing be the worst, because that's what the people want.
	But still, reading it, you're just like, ah, yes, the worst.
	Right.
	To John Ralphio.
	And the thing is, is that they have no evidence for this.
	Unlike the videos that they had about Cawthorne, they have no actual sourcing for any of this.
	This is just Silesish bullshit they threw out there.
	In an effort to try to attack her character and try to disqualify her in the eyes of Republican primary voters, because that's their objective here.
	These are American muckrakers are obviously weird shitheads who want Republicans to be monsters, but polite monsters.
	They don't want them to be.
	Weirdo QAnon promoters who go to Hitler's summer vacation home and say, wow, this is so great.
	I'm visiting the Fuhrer's summer vacation home.
	They want these guys to just be, you know, like pillars of the community who want to take away your rights to abortion and turn gays and women into second class citizens.
	That's what they want.
	I mean, it's just, don't we all?
	Oh, who doesn't?
	Oh, yeah, just.
	Yeah, we're pivoting, folks.
	This is going to be this is going to be like an adjunct of all hard right podcasts from now on.
	We're just we're just monsters, too.
	We're three white guys.
	You knew it was going to happen eventually.
	Not me.
	I'm the I'm the guy from I'm the guy from Godzilla versus Kong saying, let them fight because.
	Yeah, like you.
	Ken Watanabe.
	Yeah, I could not remember his name and I wasn't gonna take a swing at it without knowing for sure.
	I just watched Tokyo Vice, of which he...
	I thought for whatever reason he was doing a bit too, which is why I wanted to confirm it.
	I was just like, did I get that wrong?
	mind was fresh in your name? Is that what you just said?
	I'm very dyslexic still. But yeah, that is what I said.
	I thought it was a bit. I really thought it was a bit.
	I thought for whatever reason he was doing a bit too, which is why I wanted to confirm it.
	I was just like, did I get that wrong? Anyway.
	So we put Laura Bober's stuff in the Amuse Bouche because these Muckracker people,
	they've got nothing.
	Muckracker.
	They're just saying nonsense.
	And also, weirdly, it speaks to another homophobic double standard in this country, where they could just as easily be like, and you know what, Laura Boebert is gay.
	Like, they're just like, we want to take her down.
	And just like we discovered with Madison Cawthorne, we've discovered that she is also gay.
	And they, for whatever reason, didn't go with that tactic, largely because I still think that there's a double standard to this country where lesbianism is just less Icky two white men than, like, two dudes being in love.
	You know what I mean?
	Lesbians aren't as dangerous as gay men because they can't anally penetrate you.
	I literally watched a video on this and, like... That's wild, because it's so untrue.
	There's so much stuff in the world with lesbians.
	Yeah!
	I mean, pegging exists, and we here at Hellworld support it.
	That's a bold claim.
	I fucking appreciate that.
	We're learning a little bit about Sarge today.
	Okay, so we have a lot of actual news to get into, so as weird of a point as we're segwaying off of, we're going to have to close the book on that one there so we can talk about our second bit of amuse-bouche for the week, which is apparently Q Little Q, lowercase q, has gotten the promotion on the social media to Capital Q, which, if you know anything about the Q crowd, could be a big deal.
	Mike, how big of a deal is this?
	Capital Q. Capital Q is the biggest deal you've ever heard of.
	Is it the return of the Mac?
	And I've actually heard QAnon promoters suggest that that might be the case because Q's, TruthSocialQ, his profile included the phrase, not the Q you want me to be.
	And then he removed that during this upgrade from lowercase Q to capital Q. And everyone was like, oh shit.
	Oh my God, now it is the Q we wanted it to be.
	It doesn't take much to become the Q they wanted.
	No, sadly for QAnon, he did repost, he did return that phrase back to his profile recently.
	But this thing led to all kinds of QAnon promoters freaking out.
	I saw Praying Medic saying something to the effect of, perhaps this is like the final warning to the Deep State to back away from their plans.
	It's always the final warning!
	Everything.
	Yeah, they're about to finally get serious.
	I mean, Durham, their last remaining hero, literally trying people in court and losing.
	But now, finally, it's time.
	They're coming.
	This is it.
	We're doing it.
	We're doing it, guys.
	It's really real this time.
	And so you know we're serious.
	We're using capital letters.
	Boom.
	Bake them away, toys.
	It's activated.
	Let's go.
	I saw Julian's Rum, a guy with powerful brain worms that is desperately always trying to connect things.
	Originally, he tried to create the lowercase q becoming a capital Q, to promoting in chess, which is not a... Whereupon becomes a queen.
	But the thing is, is that...
	Pawns don't have a letter designation in chess.
	That's not a thing that's real.
	All the other pieces do, but pawns, they're shit.
	They don't get letter designations.
	So then Julian... That's so dumb.
	He went back to the lab and he decided that lowercase Q being capitalized to uppercase Q was capitalized, which translates to capitalize, which means that the 1-6 investigation is a fraud.
	Set up.
	Set up.
	Everybody set up.
	Well, he was close, but no cigar.
	It's actually a clue for us, the Deep State, because it means capital I's.
	We're supposed to be watching these hearings, man.
	The truth is out in there.
	No, it's that, and then when nothing happens, it'll be about the Ides of March.
	And actually, Q, Truth Social Q, who again, has no fucking idea what the character is that they're supposed to be playing.
	Rachel Maddow actually reposted an article about Truth Social's engagement with the Q account and QAnon.
	And Q posted about this and said, well, guys, we got him.
	Hook, line, and sinker.
	Rachel Maddow's never met a conspiracy theory she doesn't like.
	Hashtag trolling MSM, which for the two of you that we went over like the first 50 or so drops back in the good old days of this podcast before we got to current events, doesn't that sound exactly like the way Q was writing that shit?
	I mean, just absolutely the exact same voice.
	I mean, it's like an echo almost.
	It's so perfect.
	So, yeah, just... You know, maybe we should reach out to True Social and just be like, hey, for the right amount of money, we will be Q. And then we could do the Q drops and we could just keep on playing both sides of the field.
	Because, you know, it's sort of like atheists in the Bible.
	Like, a lot of atheists I know know way more about the Bible than people I know that, like, have faith.
	Just because they're just like, yeah, I need to, I need to read this thing so that I could fucking dunk on it hardcore, like at dinner parties where nobody cares.
	It's going to be great.
	Um, but like, so in, in much the same fashion, I'm sure that Mike, you, you probably have a much firmer grasp of the cue prose style.
	Oh, absolutely.
	Absolutely.
	And what you just said, it's a really important thing.
	If you're one of these atheists who's like, I'm going to go on the internet and give those Christians what for.
	You have to read the Bible.
	You have to know what's in it or else you have to play on the other team's sandbox or you don't know what's going on.
	And that's why I had to read all the Q drops.
	So many QAnon promoters are like, if you read the drops, it will just open your heart and you'll know the truth.
	The exact same way Christians talk about the Bible.
	And it's like, no, it actually doesn't.
	The Q drops are bullshit.
	Having read both of this heart, still closed.
	I mean, closed on both of those things, at the very least.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	But yeah, I mean, I'm telling you, hey, true social, like, if you want to cut us, like, fuck off money, we'll be Q for you.
	We'll get the tone right.
	Like, we'll alternate between Riddler, Riddler Q and Penguin Q, you know, like well, we'll get it done.
	We know, you know the score.
	We know how to do this.
	We can post a link so you're not going to take it.
	Exactly.
	People will know that you're not going to take it.
	Yeah.
	So the, the two quick things I wanted to finish up about this bullshit is that one, another QA promoter pointed out the fact that like on truth social, you can't change your handle.
	Cause like on Twitter, if you wanted to change your handle, you can, you can make it something different after you've established it.
	But on truth social, you can't.
	So like, they were like, Oh shit, this is like really serious.
	And it's like.
	No, it's just a sign that Truth Social, like, knows how important the Q account is, is to fucking with you rubes.
	So they did that.
	They actually went in and changed it to fuck with you morons.
	That's what it means.
	And the other thing that was really hilarious was Akash Patel, who is One of the two, like, marketing geniuses, along with Devin Nunes, who interacts with the True Social Q account in order to make it sound like it's a real thing, he signed a copy of his children's book for Q, and Q posted screenshots of the signed book on his social feed, going, I finally got my signed copy!
	Thanks, Cash!
	And it was, like, 2Q and The Plot Against the King.
	2Q from Julie Neumeier.
	Yeah, from Julian A. Neumar, who in this case is Kash Patel.
	It's so ridiculous, the fact that these grifters know exactly what they're doing, and QAnon is just like, oh, look, they're giving us fanservice, but we're gonna pretend it's actually serious, and they're not just yanking our chain.
	It's so, so fucking childish.
	It's fan service, but the bad kind, like all of that Obi-Wan Kenobi show.
	Now that Binge Wordy is on hiatus, I don't have a platform to talk about how fucking awful that show is, but
	you guys are going to get it here.
	It's just like, oh, not only did Princess Leia know exactly who Obi-Wan Kenobi was, but they had adventures together.
	We just never mentioned it before.
	It just never came up, because she only ever heard it was referred as Big Kenobi.
	It could have been anyone.
	I mean, yeah, duh.
	Okay, anyway, I could rant about that for the full duration of the rest of the podcast, but instead, let's go into our news for the week.
	That sounds like a plan.
	From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Q's in the News.
	Alright, so, headline the first.
	You guessed it.
	We're talking about January 6th some more, because those hearings are popping.
	The first one thundered through shortly after recording last week, the next one thundered through exactly on time.
	They're all on time, and it's all going super well, and it doesn't look kind of embarrassing for them currently.
	As for the time of recording, it does not look embarrassing for them.
	But we did get a bunch of new information, so it is sort of our obligation to talk about that and try to make goofs about it.
	So let's start with somebody who it's really easy to score some points on.
	Our good friend Rudy Giuliani.
	We haven't talked about him in a while because he's completely irrelevant now, but it turns out that his name has been invoked during the January 6th hearing.
	So Mike, what's up with our boy, our boy Rudes?
	Yeah.
	So, uh, basically the one six committees, uh, like their telling of this tale is that on the one side of things you had the people that were accepting reality who are just kind of like, Oh shit, like we're losing this election.
	This isn't going our way.
	And then on the other side, you had the sycophants who were telling Donald Trump, Oh no, no, you're getting fucked over.
	This thing's a fraud.
	It's all bullshit.
	And the story that we were told was that on the night of the election, probably after Arizona got called for Biden, and that was a really dark omen of what was going to happen.
	One side was like, OK, Trump, we're in some rough shape here.
	And Rudy on the other side was like, nope, just a clear victory.
	This is all bullshit.
	Tell them that the election was stolen from you.
	Fuck this crap.
	We'll start the lawsuits.
	And Liz Cheney, I believe, in her summation stated that an apparently inebriated Rudy Giuliani was the one making these claims.
	And then one of the witnesses that they had testimony from in their depositions stated that Giuliani was, in fact, drunk.
	When he was making these claims.
	So... For both of these people to say this, that means that he was, like, visibly wasted at this thing.
	So your retelling of events, you mispronounced a lot of stuff because you were just like,
	no, you tell me what.
	They released pictures of like Trump's war room or whatever you want to call it from
	like election night.
	And if you look at any of the faces, those people know they're not winning.
	They're clearly just like they know it's his two adult baby sons are there and just like oh I mean, you know that they could tell that Rudy Giuliani was, uh, fuckin' wasted because when you're drunk, you sweat.
	When that man sweats, his face starts to slough off his skull.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	The primal ichor that makes up that man begins to lose its cohesion under pressure or sweat.
	His lizard face, like, begins falling off.
	So, does Q actually care about Rudy anymore, now that President Trump also does not seem to care about Rudy anymore?
	They're taking his side.
	They're defending him on this shit.
	I saw Carpe Donctum, which is another massive indictment of the Trump White House.
	Carpe Donctum claimed to be in the White House that night, hanging out with Giuliani, and he was like, Giuliani didn't drink that night.
	He was stone cold sober.
	And like that, we're literally having this argument where this unbelievably low level meme making troll had access to the White House and Rudy on election night.
	And he had a photo of Rudy, a photo of which you can see drinks on the table of so unless that like clearly, I don't know.
	I believe that was Rudy Giuliani's favorite drink, Diet Pepsi.
	Yes.
	Yeah, that was Rudy's claim.
	Diet Pepsi.
	Yeah, Rudy made some posts about how he totally only drank Diet Pepsi that night and after getting aggressively- I thought you were making a joke because Trump likes Diet Coke, so Giuliani had to be like a tear down from him.
	No, if I recall correctly, he said it was Diet Pepsi, maybe it was Diet Coke.
	Yeah, no, these are the two tweets that Giuliani deleted for just getting way too much shit.
	I thought you were making a joke.
	Nope, he said, I am disgusted and outraged at the outright lie by Jason Miller and Bill Stephan.
	I was upset they were not prepared for the massive cheating, parentheses, as well as other lawyers around the presidency.
	Massive cheating.
	I refused all alcohol that evening.
	My favorite drink, ellipsis, Diet Pepsi.
	He really wanted to pay that Diet Pepsi sting off at the end there by putting a couple extra periods in.
	And then he then concluded with, is the false testimony from Miller and Stefan, because I yelled at them, are they being paid to lie?
	And then... That depends, Mr. Giulietti.
	Are you being paid by PepsiCo?
	Yes.
	Because otherwise, really?
	Diet Pepsi?
	Are you sure about that?
	See, if I was going to have conjured a lower tier cola, I would have gone for a much bigger swing than a Diet Pepsi.
	Yeah.
	I would have at least gone down to Royal Crown.
	But I could have gotten as far down as, like, Mountain Lightning, or, like, Dr. Shasta, or whatever, you know what I mean?
	Like, there's so many... Could you have gone Faygo?
	Could you have tried to get down with the clown?
	Would that have been possible?
	Oh, you mean Detroit's own Insane Clown Posse?
	Yes.
	Maybe they would have carried Michigan if Rudy had only known to go for the local beverage of choice.
	Do we know their political leanings?
	They love Jesus, so I would have to imagine a conservative, but maybe they'd surprise us.
	I think ICP has been pretty tolerant as of late.
	I think they're all about the carnival and being inclusive for all people.
	So I think they're pretty liberal on the social side of things.
	Yeah, but the carnival's also big proponents of the fucking God of Abraham, as far as I remember.
	I mean, exactly how tolerant are we talking here?
	Who can say?
	Anyway, we'll see.
	We'll get Shags 2 Dope on the line next episode, I'm sure, to clear all this write-up.
	Instead, let's continue tumbling down the rabbit hole, Alice in Wonderland style, because we're going to talk about our good friend Steve Bannon, another old name, one of the Elder Gods, whose horrible name we thought we had retired, but oh no, he's back in the news.
	January 6th will bring all of the boys to the yard, and they're like, yo, Trump was fucking crazy.
	Yeah, so our boy Steve Bannon, we don't have any hearings from the 1-6 committee today, but we did have some legal drama as Bannon went to a judge and said, yo, judge, throw out the contempt of Congress charge that I've been hit with.
	And the judge that he is standing before, a Trump-appointed judge, told him to fuck off, and that, you know what?
	This is a legally constituted body of Congress that has the right to subpoena people.
	You have refused that subpoena, so I will not dismiss this case against you, and I will let the government- Yeah, it's like pretty cut and dry there.
	It's just like, did they subpoena you?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Did you refuse it?
	Also yes.
	Oh, yeah.
	You better believe it.
	That is a crime, sir.
	That is what we call a crime.
	I also made money off of, like, not... Not complying.
	Not complying, yeah.
	Right.
	So, like, Bannon's argument was that the committee is illegitimate because it's not properly constituted with an equal...
	Like, well, basically like the idea is it's supposed to be like 13, these committees are supposed to be 13 people with the majority party getting seven seats and the other one getting six.
	And they were like, there's not 12, there's not 13 people.
	It's only 12.
	The Republicans only get a, there's only two Republicans.
	And the judge was like, 12 versus 13, no big deal.
	And Liz Cheney counts as the ranking member of the Republican party on the committee.
	Therefore you have the bipartisanship you're looking for.
	So go fuck yourself.
	And I think I misspoke on an earlier episode of the podcast is that this trial is gonna be happening around now.
	It's actually gonna be happening in July.
	So I think Bannon's about a month or so away from actually like being going to court to see if he's gonna go to jail or not, which He will.
	If there's any logic or sanity to this world, this is an open and shut case.
	As I've previously stated, the prosecution has said their case will take 45 minutes to try.
	Like, literally, they're gonna put one guy on the stand and just say, yeah, this is a crime.
	And then the guy's gonna walk away.
	That's gonna be it.
	Bannon's case is just literally screaming and just yelling, like, sent to the woman's cell, You're all out of order!
	This court's out of order!
	And it doesn't matter.
	I mean, he knows he's wrong.
	I don't know exactly what his game plan is, except for hoping that a few months in jail, like, boosters his street cred, or that maybe he'll only get probation.
	I really don't know, like, why you...
	Yeah, but hmm.
	aggressively want a guilty verdict in a case like this, where you could potentially do up to two years in prison.
	That seems like a bad, bad course of action in my book.
	Yeah, that... hmm. Hmm.
	Ha ha ha!
	Well, luckily this, luckily this judge has upheld sanity and reason,
	and determined that he can take his tiny little violin and go fucking pound sand.
	Oh yeah, outside the court when they interviewed him, they were like, hey Steve, tough break in court today.
	And he was like, rah, rah, rah.
	And then he, much like Trump, whined about the 1-6 committee's quote-unquote low ratings.
	Cause that's all they've got.
	And 20 million people tuned in and I've seen QAnon and other people going, but that's over all the different channels.
	It's weak.
	If you go by channel and it's like.
	Dude, 20 million's 20 million.
	It doesn't matter how you get there.
	That's a lot of people.
	Like, yeah.
	Like, no show gets 20 million people to tune into it nowadays.
	Like, media is fragmented.
	And that 20 million's an undercount because a lot of people probably streamed it.
	A lot of people watched it on YouTube and shit.
	So, like, no.
	Yeah, people were probably watching Twitch streamers' reaction streams.
	Yeah.
	Did anyone actually do that?
	I don't know, but if they weren't, then that needs to be our market.
	Once we get our VTuber rig set up, we just need to livestream watching political hearings like this.
	Uh, no jokes.
	I went from being an absolute nobody on Twitter to being a slightly more well-known nobody because I live-tweeted a congressional hearing.
	That was pretty much my claim to fame at the start of my Monstrous Twitter career.
	Yeah, because it just so happened that it timed up perfectly when I had a day off at work.
	And that was the big Hooper hearing where he was going to come in and just tear down the deep state.
	And it was the funniest thing because it was literally just the biceps guy from Judicial Watch just like ranting and raving at Congress.
	And then after he left, two grifters who wanted to sue the Clinton Foundation and receive hundreds of millions of dollars as a result of their lawsuit came in.
	And the Republican congressmen were like, are you going to give us your evidence?
	And those guys were like, no, because we want to use it in this lawsuit.
	And then the Republicans were like, why the fuck are you here if you're not going to give us your evidence?
	And they're like, because we want to get media attention for our lawsuit, bros.
	And the Republicans were like, meeting adjourned.
	Boom.
	Go fuck yourselves.
	It was so funny watching Republicans fight grifters on television.
	It was so out of nowhere.
	I've never heard of that before, but it sounds like a hoot and a holler.
	But this January 6th news train stops for no anecdote.
	So we're gonna power right on through to our next little sub-headline under the big boy menu item of January 6th shit.
	And let's talk about Mr. Loudermilk.
	This ain't your grandpa's quiet milk.
	No, sir.
	Loudermilk is here to give you a tour of a place.
	Yes.
	So our boy Loudermilk, Representative Loudermilk, took a bunch of people through sections of the congressional buildings.
	And he argued on social media that like, I never gave anyone a tour of the Capitol because he was playing semantical games.
	He was making it very clear as to what he was not he not did he did not done, but he was not telling us what he actually had done.
	I was giving them detailed information about the security features of this hallway and a specific door.
	Like, by no means was I giving anyone a tour of the Capitol.
	Right.
	Winky face.
	Exactly.
	And so they have the one six committee released the one six committee is doing teasers for their upcoming hearings.
	So they're doing this stuff to lure you in, which is it's so made for television.
	It's hilarious.
	But what they did in this thing.
	Is they have this video and they show this guy taking these photographs of these hallways and of office of offices of various representatives, including Jerry Jerry Nadler.
	Or, yeah, and representative Nadler and.
	Then, after they show this guy taking these photos, they smash cut to these people marching on the Capitol, and one guy, they're like, the guy holding the camcorder, or the phone, like, turns it towards this other guy, and they're like, this guy's our leader!
	And the guy who's their leader shows that he has turned a flagpole into a sharpened spear, And he's like, this is for someone special, you know who I'm talking about!
	And then the guy runs forward and he yells Braveheart as he's running forward with his flag spear.
	Why are insurrectionists so fucking lame?
	Why are they so cringe to speak as you speak?
	This is all super cringe.
	Braveheart!
	And while, and then the camera guy, the guy who's talking on the phone, but he's behind the camera while he's talking, he talks about how they're coming for Schumer.
	They're coming for Pelosi.
	They're coming for Nadler.
	He brings up AOC.
	He makes comments about like scalping Nancy Pelosi.
	At one point he says they're going to quote unquote, take them out.
	So, it's really awesome that these people so aggressively, like, documented their crimes, and their- The revolution will be televised, and used against you in court.
	Right.
	Like, I'm gonna- Are you taking notes during a criminal conspiracy?
	Yes!
	I remember, so, when this all first happened, and, uh, I think we talked about it like in our, I'm not even gonna say coverage, when we were talking about, as January 6th happened, when Baked Alaska was just like literally live streaming himself breaking into the Capitol and like a congressperson's office.
	And like in his chat, people are like, fingerprints on the phone, fingerprints on the phone.
	You are touching the phone.
	Like, dog, you need to stop.
	And, uh, like, I don't think the fingerprints are actually gonna be what takes him down here, guys.
	But, yeah, it's so baffling.
	The Braveheart thing is hilarious.
	Like... Yeah.
	I love the idea that they're, like, telling Big Dalaska, yo, the fingerprints are what's gonna get you, not the fact that you're fucking live-streaming this, you moron!
	Yeah, and that's my point, like, but... Yeah, it's ridiculous.
	Yeah.
	And this is a thing that they bring up in like 2,000 mules and boom.
	So $39.21, you cash your ticket.
	Oh, he made it real far.
	Yeah, but Dinesh was like, oh, this geotracking was used to get the 1.6 people.
	It's like, dog, they had videotape.
	They had people's live streams.
	These people were proud of their insurrection.
	They used all kinds of things you could use for evidence.
	It wasn't just fucking geotracking, you moron.
	These people were literally like, I'm breaking into the Capitol!
	Woo!
	They might as well be like, I'm breaking into the U.S.
	Capitol!
	Exactly, exactly!
	And I know my name, Bob Smith, is a common one, so my social security number is this, my date of birth is this, this is me doing the crime!
	Woo!
	Smash!
	I'm breaking down this door, now I'm gonna run over there and punch this cop!
	Boom, boom!
	Take that, cop!
	Oh my god.
	Blue Lives Matter, but not when they're against me riding in Congress, then I don't like them.
	Blue Lives Matter, now watch me cave in your skull with this fire extinguisher.
	I'm So, like I said, the trade, it stops for no one.
	We're just gonna move right in because Mike only lasted as long as he did talking about the mules.
	Because he knew he was getting his whole part of sub-segment.
	Which, the time for that is now.
	I literally just have it listed in our notes here as another in an endless series of reasons for Mike to talk about mules.
	I mean, it does keep coming up in his defense.
	Alright, Mike, the room is yours.
	What is up with the mules?
	Looks like those mules in Congress have done it again.
	Exactly.
	So, what happened now, again, when they're going through this deposition testimony that they're playing on TV now, they talked to Bill Barr, and Bill Barr basically wanted to make it clear that he was on the side of Team Normal.
	He was on the side of, yo, Donnie, this ain't working out for you, this is bad times.
	And so Barr was being asked about these, about what happened, and obviously this deposition was taken recently, because at one point it's brought up about 2,000 mules.
	And Barr makes a comment about, oh yeah, that film, 2,000 mules, and then Barr begins laughing, he just begins chuckling at how ridiculous the movie was, and then They asked him, like, well, what was so dumb about it?
	And he's like, oh, the geolocation shit they have really isn't that persuasive.
	They don't have any other actual evidence to support the nonsense they're talking about.
	It's a bunch of hokum.
	This is just a scam by this guy, Dinesh.
	And he just, Barr just takes a giant shit on the film and the deposition.
	And literally everyone in the room is just nodding and chuckling along with him as he's just trashing it.
	And of course, oh God, Dinesh runs to social media and just has a giant pout about, how dare you, Bill Barr?
	Did he challenge him to a debate?
	Yes!
	Oh, he did the debate!
	Debate me right now!
	Debate me, you coward!
	And it was just so funny seeing Dinesh flail and scream and yell and pout about this.
	And go down that whole road, and all of the totally hooked on that bullshit QAnon folks, they're now just ranting and raving about how Bill Barr sold them out.
	And this is the thing, is that Barr was totally in on this shit when he was Trump's Attorney General.
	He was, like, going into Europe, talking about voter fraud with all these other people.
	He was buying Papadopoulos's bullshit.
	He was totally cool with peddling the idea that the 2020 election was going to be stolen before it happened.
	He was totally fine with, like, pushing Trump's line of... Oh, yeah, when it suited him.
	Well, yeah, but the moment the moment he saw what was happening and then he realized that Team Trump was gonna get themselves involved in some fucking big-boy crimes that he didn't think he could cover his ass on Suddenly Bill Barr had an attack of conscience and he resigned from the Trump administration and now he's here Yucking it up with the 1-6 lawyers about oh Oh, that 2,000 mules, that Dinesh.
	Oh, what a farcical jape that all is.
	Oh, am I right, boys?
	Oh, what a chaudry bunch of codswallop that all is.
	And it's just so... He's such a self-serving sack of shit, but because he's self-serving while dunking on Dinesh D'Souza, it's funny for me.
	Maybe they'll debate it.
	Maybe you can get in on it.
	Maybe that'll be the bump that we need to really take off as a podcast.
	Oh, I in turn have told Dinesh that Bill Barr will never debate him, but if Dinesh wants to debate me, you coward, debate me right now, bro!
	Yeah, if you wanna take a shot at the champ!
	Yeah, you don't come for Bill Barr, you come for me, Dinesh!
	I'm here for you.
	And Dinesh has already engaged with me once before, so I think it's very likely that Dinesh is actually going to debate someone who watched his dumb fucking movie and took notes on it.
	I really think that's going to happen any day now.
	So yeah.
	So the big tussle between Mike Rains and Dinesh D'Souza, probably the next one or two.
	It's coming.
	It's coming.
	Any day now.
	Literally any day now.
	It's going to happen the same day that Elon Musk gives me my one million United States dollars.
	Yes!
	Of those two things, I want El to get the million dollars a lot more than I want to debate Dinesh.
	A lot more.
	Oh yeah, well, with a million dollars, I'm sure I could cut Dinesh $20,000 to debate you.
	I'm sure that some dollar signs would convince him to get into a situation where I'd let you just dunk on him in some sort of public forum because the people that he's speaking to are just sort of immune to that sort of thing.
	Like, all we'd be doing is preaching to the choir.
	I could get him and you in a room together where you could just debate for three hours the whole time.
	He could just have, like, Nixon-level flop sweat, and just, like, accidentally say the N-word three times, and just, like, a bunch of other nonsense.
	And then at the end of the day, the people that like him would still just be like, Yo, no, man!
	Alex Jones is pretty big to me!
	Oh, uh, oh god.
	Like, the moment after it was over, Dinesh's media team would have, like, five clips of, Dinesh destroys beta cuck Lib with facts and logic.
	And, like, my side of the conversation would literally be, Swede, Ken, and Dinesh would just be saying whatever the fuck it was he was saying, and I would just go.
	They would just have me totally crushed.
	100%.
	Absolutely.
	They'd show, like, fucking B-roll footage they got of you, like, cowering somehow.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Like, they just have somebody, like, hiding outside of your house, and they, like, jump and, like, scare you, and then they just place that in.
	You're just like, oh!
	The facts!
	The mule's facts!
	Yeah, they overdub that.
	They overdub those words coming out of me when I'm cowering.
	I'll be perfect.
	Hey, if I get $20,000, I'll let the niche do that as well.
	I'll let that part of the debate happen.
	Not a problem.
	I'm cheap.
	I don't need Elle's million dollars.
	That's what separates us from the other political comedy podcasts out there.
	We're very open about being willing to sell out.
	We are woke, but willing to sell out.
	So that's our niche.
	Yes.
	You know what they say, you die the hero or you live long enough to see yourself become hella paid!
	Oh, I mean, I mean, Jimmy Dore, like, friggin' was just this Bernie bro schmuck who talked about leftist politics.
	And then one day he's like, Oh my God, if I do anti-vax shit on YouTube, I get four times the engagement of my dumb lefty crap.
	So now literally like there was like a period of time where like for like three months, all of his thumbnails were like, vaccine dangerous, the shocking truth.
	And it's like, Hey, you go where the audience takes you, buddy.
	Get that paper.
	I mean, God bless you.
	I mean, I guess, but, you know, our numbers aren't hot enough where four times the engagement really means anything.
	No, no.
	Like, it would be exciting if it happened for the right reasons, but I'm not going to sell out to get to, like, 10,000 listens a month or whatever.
	That's not what we're looking for.
	If I'm selling out, it is going to be for, like, life-change money.
	Like, it needs to be for money that... Yeah.
	Ah, yes, I'm newly employed.
	Millions.
	This is how it's working.
	Well, not necessarily millions.
	Maybe over time.
	But, you know, if I can make consistent, like, you know, six-figure salary, do a little selling out, why not?
	Sponsored by MyPillow?
	Yeah, I was literally gonna say the MyPillow affiliate link.
	That's when you know we've both made it and we've turned to the dark side.
	When we opened the show with mypillow.com slash hellworld for your massive savings.
	I love how you can tell that I'm a millennial because my floor for selling out money where I am comfortable is still probably not enough money to buy a house.
	I'd just be like, yo, I can make my rent without having to worry about it.
	Oh yeah!
	Alright, so let's move on to some not January 6th news, shall we?
	Let's do a little talking about something other than January 6th for a spell.
	What a time to be alive.
	Let's talk about Proud Boys.
	Specifically, a whole vanload of them.
	Arrested outside of... Oh, I love these videos and pictures.
	It was like a, it was like a pride gathering or whatever that they were about to quote unquote demonstrate at.
	Yeah.
	So, uh, the city, so the, the, um, this actual group is called Patriot Front.
	Uh, they're the group that did this.
	They all piled into a U-Haul.
	Oh, are they, are they not Proud Boys?
	If I've been getting that wrong?
	Not Proud Boys.
	It's a different right-wing para, uh, terrorist organization.
	I mean, there's so many of them.
	Damn it.
	I would feel bad, except I don't.
	Because they're all white supremacists or whatever.
	Right.
	You have the Proud Boys.
	You have the Oath Keepers.
	You have the Three Percenters.
	You have Patriot Front.
	I mean, there's just so many militia groups to keep track of.
	You need a program.
	Programs!
	Programs!
	Can't tell who's in the game if you don't have a program!
	That's basically what we have in American right-wing shittiness.
	You have the Gripers.
	You just have everybody.
	So, anyways, these Patriot Front shitheads got themselves into a U-Haul.
	And apparently someone saw that they were doing weird shit and called the cops, and then the cops pulled over the U-Haul, cracked it open, found 31 white dudes in- With shields?
	And, like, batons?
	Yeah, with basically riot gear, ready to go, and matching- I believe it was the protesting sticks?
	Yeah!
	And freedom of speech placards that you wear on your arms.
	Go down to our merch store for your Hell World branded protest and sticks.
	Yes.
	And so these these guys, they all got cuffed and stuffed.
	And at this point, this created this really awesome dynamic on the right, because on the one hand, You had the people that support Patriot Front who were just absolutely appalled that the tyrannical police state grabbed these guys who were just there to peacefully protest and use their First Amendment rights of assembly to demonstrate against this depraved, decadent, evil...
	The gay agenda that's going to like groom your kids and all that horse shit.
	And these guys were just like speaking up for wholesome Christian American values and all this stuff is terrible.
	But then on the other side of it, you had all these right-wingers all over social media who were just like, look at these obvious feds, these total feds that like Patriot Front is a fed op.
	This arrest is 100% fake.
	It's a false flag.
	It was staged.
	They're just trying to make white nationalist groups look bad by presenting them as a bunch of giant dum-dums that got in a U-Haul and wore their stupid masks.
	And they're glowies.
	They love using the term to describe anyone who's a CIA operative or a plant as that they glow.
	And Then, the right-wingers who support Patriot Front were like, how fucking dare you call them Feds, you pieces of shit!
	And then, the other people were like, hey Fed, are you mad that we called your Fed friends Feds?
	How do you like them apples?
	So now you just have this massive schism where, like, one side refuses to acknowledge the other side's legitimacy as being a part of it.
	But one of the really funny things is that the people that are calling this a Fed Operation False Flag, they're like, they didn't even take off their masks!
	That's obvious!
	And it's like, no, they took off their masks.
	There's all kinds of photos of them.
	There's like a thousand pictures of them on the internet, completely maskless.
	Yeah.
	They all look like Cro-Magnum, man.
	It's hilarious.
	Oh yeah, as someone said, they literally unmasked him at the end of every Scooby-Doo episode, and it was like, oh my god, it's Iggy Incel!
	He did it again!
	And all these guys said, Oh my God, this one is white with a beard.
	I don't believe it.
	And so, yeah, they had, and all these guys have been named now they've been charged.
	And again, this was a lot of the people are talking about the feds are like, these guys are gonna be quietly arrested.
	None of them are ever going to get booked.
	It's all going to be swept under the rug because it's not a real operation.
	And it's like, Nope, it's real.
	You call these guys feds because that's how you operate, where when anything ever happens, when anything happens where your side breaks the law or does anything bad, or they get caught in spectacularly humiliating fashion, you just wash your hands of it.
	They're not part of our team.
	They're not on our side.
	They're a fed.
	The Q shaman?
	Fed.
	Whenever you do a wrong thing and you draw heat on yourself, you become a fed.
	I'd like to think that these guys would cut ties with the people that were just like, yeah, you're obviously feds.
	You get your protested stick and your freedom of speech placard, and you put on your war paint, and you get into the back of your U-Haul, and then you get arrested very publicly, and a bunch of Republicans start calling you a fed.
	I hope those guys are just like, smart.
	Gotta distance yourself from it.
	The war goes on, brother.
	You would hope that they would cut ties, but I bet there's some guys out there that are just like, no, that's a right call, brother.
	Yeah, we're all in this together.
	I understand what you're doing.
	You understand what I'm doing.
	It's all optics, man.
	I get it.
	Where we go, we go all, am I right?
	We don't know what that is.
	We're a different type of Republican than that.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	So all of that has just been absolutely wonderful.
	They could not have humiliated themselves more.
	It was great.
	It was absolutely awesome.
	And then we did have Proud Boys storm into a Drag Queen story time.
	If you look at the photo of the guy who was the leader of the group who disrupted it, oh, exactly the same thing.
	He's wearing a shirt with an AR-15 on it that reads, kill your local pedophile.
	And it's just, yeah, this guy... I'm sure he doesn't want his hard drive looked at.
	I'm just gonna say that.
	Whenever these guys get... When people get this upset about drag queens, it's like...
	That's a you problem.
	That's really a you problem.
	I mean, like, have you seen, like, popular culture?
	RuPaul's Drag Race is on its, like, 98th season or something.
	I mean, this is the most boring thing in the world, and you're still working yourselves up into a lather over it?
	I mean... Oh, dude, well, first of all, I have to acknowledge, I'm glad that we finally got to the part that Sarge technically foreshadowed at the beginning of the show with his Too Wong Fu reference, so...
	Golf clap.
	If you're listening to this, you owe Sarge one golf clap.
	And secondly, I'm that level of infuriated times a thousand just over gay.
	I still can't believe that anyone is getting themselves all worked up over people being gay.
	Who cares?
	It's 2022, dude.
	Ellen came out on her show 25 years ago or whatever.
	Who cares?
	Like, being gay, it's just a thing.
	There are gay people all over the place, man.
	It's always been that way.
	Oh yeah, and yet, and like now... Ancient Greece was gay as hell!
	It was so gay!
	Yeah, and we recently had some right-wing preacher in Texas talking about how all gays need to be lined up against the wall and shot.
	Yeah, he sure did say that.
	Yep, there's a guy running for Congress in South Carolina who wants the House Committee on Un-American Activities to be brought back and for gay people to be accused of and convicted of treason and executed.
	So, I mean, it's like, seriously, how can these people be just this frothing mad and this out of touch with reality that they're still just going, hey, Bible says it's punishable by death.
	Good enough for me.
	It's like, the Bible also says you shouldn't eat shellfish or wear mixed fabrics or plant two crops in the same field.
	Bible's got a lot of rules that people don't abide by.
	Have you worked on the Sabbath?
	Because those rules were made for when we didn't have refrigeration.
	Hey, don't eat shellfish.
	It could kill you.
	There's reasons those rules are in there.
	It was to protect you from the time, but we've come a long way, baby.
	Also, that book is two parts, and in the second part, they introduce a pretty important character whose whole deal is, yeah, you should just love everybody, man.
	It's pretty cool.
	Yeah, and they retconned the first part.
	Being poor totally rules, and you should just love everyone and not fight anyone ever.
	Really?
	That would be great.
	And also, I hate banks.
	Yeah!
	I hate these banks!
	Yes.
	Banks in churches.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But everybody seems to forget that part.
	Which is weird, because that was the thrilling sequel.
	That was the sequel everyone was waiting for, the first part.
	Yes.
	God.
	Anyway, so let's move swiftly along to our last actual headline for the week, which is going to be a new little mini-segment, probably for the foreseeable a while.
	We're going to have to talk about some mid-term madness with our correspondent on all things pretty much in general, Mr. Mike Rains.
	Mike!
	We can't let this work!
	Mike Rains!
	Mike Rains!
	Let's talk about some mid-term madness.
	Thank you, Al.
	The bad news is that a man named Jim Marchant won the Republican primary for the Nevada Secretary of State.
	And this is a man who is absolutely 100% QAnon-pilled.
	He was a part of Juano Savin's plan to take over swing state Secretary of State offices to
	not certify elections. He has stated he would not certify any
	election of Democrat one. He believes that pretty much everyone in Nevada has been installed there by George quote
	unquote, George Soros in the deep state. Oh boy. Yeah. So this guy's shown shit there.
	This guy is just literally QAnon slash Alex Jones now one election away from being in charge of the elections in Nevada.
	He is absolutely out of his fucking mind.
	And yeah, he won pretty much in a row.
	Do we have any idea how or why it is legal for someone to just not do their job in that
	position?
	In an elected position.
	It's just like, hey, just like as a sort of a formality, we need you to certify that the
	people have done this thing.
	They have decided that they want a Democrat.
	You can just be like, no, I'm not doing that.
	Do any of us have the knowledge as to why that's allowed?
	It's like the power of the office, basically.
	I mean, it's so fucking insane that this is where we're at now.
	His opponent in this race is Cisco Aguilar, who you can find on Twitter at AtCiscoForNevada.
	And we need to help this guy in any way, shape, or form, because holy fucking shit.
	He is now engaging against an absolute madman.
	When I first looked at good old Cisco's Twitter feed, he had 500 or so followers.
	Today, he now has 916.
	So, need to start putting some work into the old campaign there, Cisco, because this one's spicy and also terrible.
	Did he tell you about the thong song?
	Oh, if only he did.
	Oh, God, that would've been magical.
	See, we need to somehow get away from that word association to his name.
	Or he just needs to embrace it, and we need to get him enough money to reach out to the artist, Sisqó.
	Sisqó seems like he's probably liberal.
	We need to sit Sisqó down and just be like, look, Sisqó, the performing artist.
	You should be like, hey, man, here's the situation we're in.
	We're gonna pay you some money.
	We need you to come out.
	We need you to just step up for this guy, because democracy is on the line.
	And you and your love of thongs could save America.
	Exactly.
	In the also terrible but not nearly as bad news, Mayra Flores, who was a QAnon promoter who has also claimed that she's denied as a QAnon, she never supported it.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	How dare you?
	I never said those things that I said.
	You quoted back to me.
	Fuck you for doing that.
	She won a special election in Texas's 34th congressional district.
	QAnon and a bunch of right-wingers were like, oh, this was a Biden district.
	Oh, this is the red wave.
	We're going to turn the southwest of Texas red.
	We're doing it.
	The actual reality of this was the Democrats didn't invest a nickel in this district because The district had been redrawn to be more Democrat-friendly for November, and they actually want to win the race in November.
	This is basically like a five-month rental of the seat that happened in this special election.
	And that's where the Democrats kept their powder dry for November.
	Now, if she wins the November election, then that's like the klaxons blaring and, oh shit, time to panic.
	Then the wave is truly here.
	Yeah, Done the Wave is truly here.
	We've got another QAnon person in Congress for Really Really Reels.
	But right now, all the beating of their chests and, look at what we're doing, the red wave that QAnon's doing right now.
	Like that, like, simmered down.
	Just, just simmered down just a little.
	Because, uh, again, the Democrats were like, we don't need this seat for five months.
	We're not going to invest in this.
	And, like, the Republicans put in, like, over a million dollars because they just wanted this, the optics of this race of, like, a Hispanic woman, Republican woman winning this seat, like, showing the, like, the reach out, the reach out to his Hispanic community that Republicans are doing in Southwest Texas.
	But yada yada.
	So, Yeah, that's a thing that happened.
	But the focus your horror and dread on Nevada, because that's where that's where the shit the milk's actually going sour.
	That's basically what I'll say for that.
	Well, that's fun.
	You love to see it.
	I mean, maybe they're not wrong about the Red Wave.
	These lunatics are starting to win elections.
	Roe v. Wade is about to be overturned.
	Oh, they're so happy about that.
	Let me tell you.
	For a while there, we were having like 1.2 mass shootings per day, which was like pretty crazy.
	That was fun, right?
	The red wave.
	It might actually finally be happening.
	Start quaking in your boots.
	Yes.
	Yeah, it's not great.
	So I think that about covers all the news.
	Let's get into the mailbag now.
	Yeah.
	Our listeners got questions.
	We got answers.
	It's time for Q&A.
	So opening up Ye Olde Mailbag is Pancake Peasant asking me, have you seen or heard of any crypto-themed casino games yet?
	If you were tasked with making one, what would it be?
	This is a very interesting question that has nothing to do with QAnon, so I'm in for it.
	I would have to think someone would have to make a slot machine that could pay you in Bitcoin.
	I would definitely think there has to be something like that out there.
	That can't be legal.
	Oh, no, that's all the Internet.
	That's how all the Internet casinos worked.
	Oh, I'm sure they do.
	They paid in crypto.
	Yeah, I think that that's just how crypto works on the Internet, like that the Internet is already a slot machine for cryptocurrency.
	You can use the internet to like mine it, and then when you have some you can invest it, and sometimes you get rich, and sometimes you lose everything overnight.
	And that sounds like gambling on cryptocurrency to me.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I don't know that you could make, like, a crypto-based game that wasn't, like, just pretty much a slot machine that was, like, themed around that shit and might sell it, because... I think there's a crypto pachinko machine somewhere.
	Oh, there has to be.
	There has to be.
	Because, like, any game that was involved in, like, you potentially being up big and then being able to get out before the crash would not be a game that, like, Vegas would be in favor of.
	Because people would go into the casino and play the Crypto Game and like double or triple their money and then the dealer would be like, would you like to continue?
	And the person would be like, no, I'm just going to take three times my winnings and leave now.
	And the house would be like, fuck, you weren't supposed to do that.
	We need to apply these people for more alcohol before we can run this game.
	Because apparently only drunks who want to be like, I can get three times the money or 10 times the money.
	I'm going for 10x!
	Womp womp.
	Oh no!
	I totally didn't foresee that coming!
	Also, there's a couple of problems.
	Just like, because of the way crypto is, there's a couple of problems with it.
	First and foremost, advertising a jackpot.
	Like, even if the jackpot for your machine is currently at one Ethereum, you're like walking through a casino or whatever, you look over and you're just like, oh my god, I could go over there and win one thing.
	Like, I'm picturing just one of those big, splashy boards, but on it there's just the number one, and that's it.
	It's like, ooh, so eye-catching.
	Ask any Yu-Gi-Oh!
	player.
	Big numbers are exciting.
	Like, even the smallest, crumbiest creatures in Yu-Gi-Oh!
	are like 500 toughness and attack.
	And then you get up to the most powerful ones where it's just like, oh yeah, this creature's got like 30,000 attack!
	Or ask anybody who's ever seen Dragon Ball Z. Their power levels get bananas.
	Everybody just loves a big number.
	Going through a casino and looking at a slot machine and having it advertising, it's just like, oh shit, .83 of an Ethereum.
	Let's fucking go!
	Can't wait to try to win that.
	They would have to literally have the conversion on the board.
	And at that point, why are we even bothering with the crypto?
	Just pay out USD.
	Right, exactly.
	Why do I want my payout in fake money when you can give me real money for it?
	The second one is, I'm sure the popularity of those machines is going to go down the first time somebody walks away with like...
	Like, 1.2 Bitcoin from a thing, and then they walk away from the machine, and the next time they check to see how much their sweet Bitcoin is worth in the parking lot so they can get that little dopamine hit again, it turns out that it lost 11% of its value.
	And it took them to walk out to their car or whatever.
	They're just like, oh no!
	Elon Musk tweeted a thing!
	Goddammit!
	Oh god, that reminded me, like, that's the thing, so the slot machine should let you play it with Bitcoin, and also when you win you should get NFTs.
	All the worthless shit you could possibly achieve via the slot machine.
	Now, an NFT thing, so if we could get, like, an AI, so we need to get the guy who made that Dolly Mini thing.
	We pay him to make an AI that generates images that we mint immediately into NFTs and then sell through some sort of gambling lottery system.
	And then that way, there's literally no artistry in it at all.
	There's a bunch of science, but there's no art to it.
	It's completely artless.
	And then we start selling them as art pieces.
	And that is inherently an artistic statement.
	And that is how we're going to sell out.
	We're going to reach out to the Dolly Minnigan to make an AI to crank us out artless art that we are going to sell as high art for a lot of bank.
	Yes.
	So thank you for the question.
	Mebad asks, what queue is your favorite?
	Original Coke, Classic Queue, Ron Queue, or the store discount brand Truth Social Queue?
	I gotta say that the original Q was the best, because they were trying to tell a spy novel.
	There was actual cohesion to the story.
	And that's why, repeatedly at the start, Q just kept saying, I have to go.
	My home planet needs me.
	Because he knew he was just talking shit.
	And then after he realized he could keep going, but he didn't know what he was doing, Q trying to find his footing for like two or three hundred drops before just settling on being a dumb, attempting to be cryptic, but just being vague moron just wasn't that engaging.
	So, yeah, the start, the starting story, that's what hooked people in.
	And people have been just chasing that way.
	They've been chasing that dragon for like five years now.
	So, yeah, the original was always the best.
	Yeah, it's like supernatural all over again.
	The first season or two was pretty good, just sort of X-Files, but for spooky stuff.
	And then, you know, we're like 14 seasons later, and you're just like, wow, really?
	Seriously, guys?
	Okay, I mean, I guess.
	Yeah, any time a show I love gets cancelled and I'm like, but Supernatural had 15 seasons!
	Yeah, Venture Brothers is about to get, like, it's getting a movie and then I think that's supposed to be it.
	That's a travesty.
	Seven seasons over like 20 years and then nothing.
	Versus Supernatural's like 16 seasons.
	Ridiculous.
	Truly, this is the darkest timeline.
	It is.
	Oh, and to answer the listener question, I agree original flavor Q is the best.
	Specifically, I like Spy-era Riddler Q.
	It was sort of like a choose-your-own-adventure of, like, I feel like that was a big part of why it was so engaging to a lot of people, because it had, like, a general loose theme of government espionage stuff.
	Like, oh, I could tell you more, but I can't, like, that would reveal my identity.
	Yeah, there's more of a story.
	It was terrible, though.
	So I have to, like, lead you through this choose-your-own-adventure style, like, what about Huma?
	Or, like, but what does this have to say about BD?
	And then people are just like, oh shit, who's BD?
	Like, we have to figure it out.
	And, like, BD is just, like, two random letters.
	Like, remember back when RR did the thing?
	You know what I'm talking about.
	You're like, I do remember when RR did the thing.
	Yeah.
	So I love a vintage Riddler cue.
	So good.
	Yeah, yes.
	How about you Sarge?
	Do you have a favorite vintage of cue?
	I mean, we just did so much with early Q. I really like early Q, because like you said, there's a story there.
	But there's something to the awful Ron era Q as well.
	I loved when they thought that Cannibal Club and the Human Farming Project were real.
	And then when it was pointed out to them, it was fake.
	They were like, Well, that's how the Deep State gets you, by making satire about the real stuff they do.
	Yeah, that's it.
	That's what I'm going with.
	The later era Q, it's like Tab or Royal Crown Cola.
	It's sometimes better than water, but it's certainly never as good as Coke.
	No.
	So I thank you for the question.
	The Nerdy Horror Fan says, Donald Trump is known for having fantastic dance moves.
	Laughing crying emoji.
	What?
	Think of a name for a Trump dance move.
	I'll start you off.
	The Trumpty Dump.
	Okay, go!
	Soon to be indicted?
	I don't know.
	That's my hope.
	I came up with the slow slope shamble for when he's facing those very modest inclines that he could barely make his way down.
	I think that's the move we all remember from the campaign trail, because he never lived it down and kept bringing it up at every other rally afterwards, where he was like, did you see that slope?
	Did you have any idea how dangerous that was?
	I could have died!
	They could have killed me!
	It was a miracle I was able to make it down that treacherous incline.
	You have no idea the nerves of steel it took for me to put one foot in front of the other and make it down there as that soldier gently led me down there holding my arm.
	Yeah, I mean, our man is out of shape.
	He has no rhythm because there's footage of him trying to actually dance and it's terrible.
	So I would propose, and he's also vain, so he would just call it the Trump-lean, which is like the Rock-a-lean from the early 2000s, but somehow with even less movement required and less actual coolness to it.
	A manufactured, rich, white person coolness.
	So just imagine like Bob Craft trying to do the Rock-a-lean.
	Yes!
	That is the Trump-lean, and that is his trademark move.
	I'm here for all of that.
	I can see that.
	And it's horrifying and bad.
	So thank you for the question.
	Cleodora Silvestri thinks it's an ellipsis.
	Your names are just too long, Cleodora, so I'm sorry.
	With the collapse of Celsius, Luna, Terra, Ether, and Bitcoin in general, how long before the play money in the Monopoly game disintegrates by sympathetic devaluation?
	I don't care.
	If Monopoly money turns to zero value, I'm fine.
	Fuck Monopoly money.
	Now, the real problem is, if the ore in Catan gets devalued, then we're fucked.
	Because ore, that's where it's fucking at.
	I want to make this clear.
	Yeah, I literally do not want to live in a world where my Catan ore is worth less.
	What is in the ore?
	Do you think they primarily mine iron on Catan?
	Whatever it is, it is the building blocks of mighty cities and powerful development cards, and that is all that matters.
	Yes.
	So I guess technically what they're mining is points.
	The ore is made of points.
	So maybe it is crypto.
	Maybe Catan was just way ahead of its time.
	But there's a fixed system, right?
	Because 10 points makes you ruler of Catan.
	So presumably, the maximum number of points is the number of players times nine plus one.
	And that is always just going to be the maximum amount of points available.
	So your market is defined by very strict parameters, especially because every player already starts with two points.
	In the fishing expansion of Catan, in the Fish of Catan expansion, there's a fish you can get called the Old Boot, which requires you to get one more point to win the game.
	So there is inflation in that form of Catan.
	Although I would be horrified if I bought a new copy of Catan and it required four ore to build a city.
	I'd be like, no!
	Ore inflation is real!
	Dude, I would throw that copy of Catan in the garbage.
	I would secede from whatever governing body made that happen immediately.
	Yes.
	We would create classic Catan, the true Catan.
	The economy of Catan is strong, and its only weakness is the occasional rise of a devastating monopoly.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Oh my god.
	So thank you, Cleodora, for allowing us to talk about Catan, our favorite podcast within a podcast.
	You guys did that on your own, don't thank her!
	She opened the door!
	We walked through it!
	Don't you put this on me, Ricky Poppy!
	Well, they wanted to talk about fucking Monopoly money.
	Like, the value of Monopoly money is irrelevant to me, because I'm a grown adult with good taste in board games, and therefore do not own, nor have access to anyone that does own, a copy of Monopoly.
	Oh god, yeah.
	Also, does it like Hasbro or whatever make Monopoly now?
	Do we want to give a company like that suddenly a bunch of money by making their Monopoly money worth more?
	And it's also not going to hurt them if it's worth less, because it's already almost completely worthless to them.
	Yeah.
	I mean, digital monopoly is the only thing I've seen anyone play, so... Oh my god, it wasn't USD at all, it was Bitcoin.
	Son of a bitch.
	God dammit.
	So, thank you for the question.
	Snorlaxcpap asks, how much of the pod's browser history is now dedicated to puppets?
	Where do we send our intervention letters?
	So Sarge, the floor is yours.
	How much puppet research have you done in the past week?
	Puppet research in the past week?
	Not a lot.
	I've been kind of busy.
	But, I mean...
	Like, I did.
	I could go rewatch all the Goosebumps episodes about Slappy, the evil ventriloquist dummy.
	That's a pretty scary puppet.
	I'm sure the rest of the listeners know because they're very dedicated.
	And of course, I remember because I'm a professional.
	But why?
	Why are we talking about puppets?
	Why does Sarge love puppets?
	Uh, because we got into that Hellraiser thing with the Drillmaster.
	Oh, right!
	The Puppetmaster!
	No, not Hellraiser, Puppetmaster.
	The franchise.
	Okay, I definitely also remember the dumb movie franchise I brought up last week.
	But also, that means that the listener is right, because while we were recording, you were looking up puppet stuff.
	Yes!
	At the very least, some part of your browser history has some puppetry on there.
	I love how independent of the Puppet Master conversation, when you had to think of a puppet, your go-to was the ventriloquist dummy from Goosebumps.
	I feel like that says a lot about a person.
	What's the first puppet you think of?
	That's the first one?
	Uh, well, the first scary puppet, yeah.
	But, like, the first puppet, I think, almost has to be Kermit the Frog.
	Well, I mean, that's, you know, that's a whole other kettle of fish.
	Is a Muppet a puppet?
	Oh, God.
	I mean, I'm on team, obviously, yes.
	But I know some people are very defensive about Muppets being independent creations.
	God bless Jim Henson.
	But yes, yeah, they absolutely are still puppets.
	So, yeah.
	What's your go-to puppet go?
	Probably Fozzie Bear.
	I'm gonna go with Fozzie.
	That's a good one.
	No love for Lamb Chop?
	Is it Muppets all the way down?
	I mean, Lamb Chop hasn't been on TV in a bazillion years, unless there's some sort of relaunch I don't know about.
	Yeah, there's a creepy conspiracy theory about Lambchop and the Kennedy assassination, just so you know.
	You shut up.
	No, it's a real thing.
	Was it Lambchop on the grassy knoll?
	No, people think that someone handed a Lambchop puppet to Jackie right before they got into the car, and there's this big conspiracy about where did that Lambchop puppet go after the shooting.
	This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of!
	Real.
	If you Google JFK assassination Lambchop, you'll see it.
	It's so fucked up.
	It's really bizarre.
	For the record, I do not think that Lambchop... I don't think she got handed to Lambchop, Papa.
	It's good.
	I'm glad you don't think that.
	For the record, I do not believe that Lambchop assassinated JFK.
	I don't.
	Now, Marilyn Monroe.
	I believe Lambchop assassinated Marilyn Monroe.
	Lambchop garroted her like you read about.
	Lambchop just came in their stealth mission.
	Bam.
	Filled her full of drugs that she didn't take herself, but it was Lambchop.
	It was Lambchop, absolutely.
	But JFK ordered that hit.
	Yes.
	That's why it was so ironic when Lambchop was there when JFK died.
	It was kind of a callback.
	They were there to, like, exchange... So, not very many people know this, but Lambchop was trying to blackmail.
	But that is why she was there, but she actually had nothing to do with the assassination.
	It was a very bizarre historical coincidence.
	Lambchap, I need you to whack this broad.
	I'm going to have to cut that and make that a drop.
	When are we ever going to use that?
	No reason.
	That's just for Mike.
	That's just for Mike.
	It's for personal use.
	It's for the Zoo Crew Soundboard episode we're never going to do.
	It's going to be great.
	Crazy Mike and the Gator.
	You're damn right.
	So anyways, next question is Bobby Ellis is okay, I guess, says, I know the answer to this already, but I feel like I have to ask, is there anyone turning their backs on Trump or QAnon based on the 1-6 hearings?
	No.
	The answer is no.
	You guessed it there, Fred, you knew what the answer was, but God bless you for asking, because the answer is fucking no, of course not.
	God no.
	Fuck no.
	The battle lines have been drawn a long time ago.
	Oh god, they're all like snooze.
	I saw that Babylon Bee posted a thing where like one sixth death toll rises as hearings kill people due to boredom.
	They're all over it.
	They know where their bread is buttered and they're sticking with the god emperor.
	Yeah, nobody's watching it and if they are, they're bored.
	A plus-sized goth model says, if you were to trapdoor exit like Q, what would your last post be?
	Other than the Twisted Sister Trump fan video, obviously.
	I would post something like, the fight continues, and then just like...
	Wink out or maybe I would have made it like a series of things like over the course of like two weeks.
	I'm like, I'm on the move.
	They're coming for me.
	Like trying to stay one step ahead.
	And then like at the end, like at the end, like say something cryptic about like, you must continue the mission.
	And then just like stop.
	And then like, just, just like make it feel like, Oh, did they catch him?
	Did he get away?
	And like, just leave them on a cliffhanger would basically be my thought.
	It'd be like how I'd want to pay off.
	Always leave them guessing.
	Pull a John McAfee.
	Get yourself tattooed saying, I will never commit suicide.
	And then commit suicide.
	Yes, exactly that.
	For mine, it's going to be yet another Simpsons reference for this episode.
	Mine would just be the end of the Poochie episode of Itchy and Scratchy.
	I would just post that.
	It's just like, I have to go back to my home planet now.
	and then like roughly cut frames of me ascending into heavens
	and then doop, doop, doop, doop.
	Which he died on the way back to his home planet.
	That would be perfect.
	There's a Twitter account that does like best Simpsons jokes.
	And there was one yesterday where the Homer is like at work and he goes, he saw the photo, he goes, you'll have to
	speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
	And man, I just like looked at that for like five minutes.
	The joke was so good.
	Simpsons was so good for so long.
	Why won't they get cancelled?
	What the fuck?
	God damn it.
	They haven't said anything in 15 years.
	Because where's Lady Gaga gonna feature in animation?
	This is true.
	Our weirdest, dumbest celebrities.
	Where else will they go to be cartoonified?
	Well, now she's going to be Harley Quinn in a Joker musical.
	She's in talks to do that.
	I sure hope that the collective everyone on the internet being like, what?
	That sounds dumb.
	Is going to hopefully maybe reconsider your sequel to the Joker movie and just make it like, you know, a movie.
	How about it's just like a movie?
	How about that?
	How about just make a pile of money making a fucking movie?
	What a weird idea.
	Reverend Xenofact asks, it seems the far right is happily careening towards mass violence towards LGBTQIA plus people if we don't stop it.
	If a large scale incident happens, how are the cowards in queue going to suddenly disown it?
	How many will celebrate it versus suddenly pissing their pants?
	80 to 90% will disown it, piss their pants, false flag, fed boy summer, blah, blah, blah.
	only the hardcore actual out and proud white nationalist, like
	just total bigots are gonna be like in favor of it. Because again, most of them want to present this image that they're
	not total monsters and that the shit and the violence they're kind of still egging people on the committing is not the
	actual end goal they want for this shit. So yeah, that's pretty
	I mean, that's their goal.
	They're never proud of anything.
	I mean, I've seen some people making memes about how, yeah, the attack on the Capitol was a good thing, but...
	That was their crowning achievement!
	They stormed the Capitol!
	They were this close to, like, murdering members of Congress and the Senate and Mike Pence!
	And they disowned that, like, 99% of the time.
	Like, that was a false flag.
	That was Antifa and BLM and whatever.
	Yeah, and if, like, trying to keep Trump in the presidency isn't enough to get you to stick around, I have to imagine that...
	The dreaded gays is a softer, like, you know, pillar of their belief system at this point.
	Because, again, I'm fibergasted that anybody cares at all.
	But one would hope that they're just like, yeah, I mean, normally, like, hating pedophiles and, like, spy shit, that's really our thing.
	But I guess because, you know, you can spin it that the Lord doesn't like them, like, we're not hugely in favor of the gays.
	In terms of their priorities, it just seems like that should be so far down that they're just like, oh yeah, of course we'd disown that.
	We barely care about that.
	Exactly.
	And finally, a final question in the mailbag, which I think is a very good one, is Confidently Befuddled asks, what's your favorite obscure piece of trivia?
	Oh, Dunker.
	I have this one all cued up already.
	The PATRIOT Act is in fact the U.S.A.
	PATRIOT Act, with U.S.A.
	PATRIOT being an acronym for Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing the Appropriate Tools and Resources Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism.
	Yes!
	I remember that that was... Yeah, it was an abbreviation, and they worked really hard to create that.
	So yeah, that was fuckin' wild.
	I love acronyms, and when I read that one, I was just like, that's so crazy.
	Somebody was technically probably getting paid to come up with that.
	Yeah.
	What a job.
	A nice cushy government gig where you come up with acronyms for dumb programs.
	Yeah.
	OK.
	OK, I was going to I was going to cede the floor to you because I have mine queued up, so.
	Oh, I really like that.
	The French name for Gengar is Fantasma.
	I think that's really fun.
	I don't know.
	I like, I like, uh, foreign Pokemon names.
	They can be really funny.
	I really love, uh, Venusaurs, I believe, is the one in Japan.
	Yeah.
	And in Japanese, Alakazam is Gellervich.
	And there's a reason why we didn't have Alakazam merch for the longest time because Yuri Geller
	sued Pokemon and everything for forever because it was obviously a reference to him and named
	after him.
	Thank you.
	I'm sorry.
	That is very wild.
	I had no idea about that.
	My favorite bit of obscure trivia is that in a hand of Texas Hold'em, after all five cards have been put out and you turn over the cards, the weakest possible hand that is unbeatable is a set of Queens.
	It's three Queens.
	Because basically you have to make the board Queen, Jack, 7, 2, 3, or things like that where you can't line up a straight.
	And on that board, three queens is best.
	If you try to make it smaller, if you try to make it three jacks, the board always coordinates to a straight.
	So that can't be the weakest possible hand.
	So the weakest possible hand is three queens.
	I figured that I figured that out one night when I was bored to tears when I was flooring at the Tropicana in Las Vegas.
	And I love just like brain twistering people with that at the poker tables every now and then, because it's just a dumb thing you can figure out.
	And you're like, yep, that works.
	It makes sense.
	So, yeah.
	And it just, I don't know why, but it tickles me.
	So that's my bit of Excur trivia that you can now puzzle your poker friends with.
	Or prove wrong.
	Prove my grades wrong, like for Matt's last poker theorem.
	Oh, please do.
	Please do.
	That'd be awesome.
	That'd be super awesome.
	And so, finishing up as always with our final question, which is, what are you guys looking forward to?
	Bro, ice cream nailed it.
	Oh!
	Yeah?
	That's a good one.
	Ice cream is not a bad thing.
	Yes.
	Do you have anything to look forward to, Sarge?
	I mean, I've already done it, but I'll go back to it.
	Wednesday is the day my Crazy Golf anime drops on, and we're in, like, the next arc of that, after she's defeated the main character using golf, defeated the criminal syndicate that was destroying her home.
	Jesus, spoiler alert!
	Way to fuckin' ruin it, Sarge!
	Goddammit!
	For blazing golf, or whatever this is fuckin' called.
	Yeah!
	So she had to, like... She had to get out of the country, because the mafia sent assassins for her for winning at golf.
	Which I thought was rad.
	And then the assassins showed up, and they were just like, time for us to kill you, and then she took them away.
	In a golf tournament!
	Loser becomes dead or whatever.
	Mother's Basement did a video on stop sleeping on this anime.
	It's a ton of fun.
	I also don't know what day it drops on because these damn streaming sites refuse to post that.
	But Love After World Domination just continually cracks me up.
	So I'm looking forward to more of that.
	That is about the Red Ranger from a Power Ranger team falling in love with and beginning to date one of the villain women from the evil organization that they fight and hijinks ensue.
	And I think it's just it's just really sharp, the writing in that.
	I want the Assassins to fight the Protagonists in a golf tournament where they're all wearing the exploding neck collars, like Battle Royale.
	And basically, on the final hole, the Protagonist sinks the putt, and then the Assassin's head just explodes.
	That's just it.
	Oh, Mike, it could get even stupider.
	There's a fantasy show about a world slash dimension where all conflict is resolved through the playing of games.
	And as long as both people agree at the beginning of it, the terms of what you could wager could be absolute, including your life.
	So we should make this anime, it should just be no golf, no life.
	Just a world where everything is resolved by golf.
	I'm here for it.
	There's one coming out called Blue Lock.
	It is all about soccer.
	And this guy is just like, Japan doesn't take soccer seriously enough.
	I'm going to make a squid game style facility, but it is, it is just to train young men in being a striker.
	We're going to make the world's greatest striker in this crucible squid game facility that I've built.
	And if you fail out of it, whoever like of the 300 I brought here, whoever, Like, gets through, will be the greatest striker in the world, but if you fail out, you can never play soccer again.
	And like, all these strapping young lads are just like, let's fucking do it, and like...
	To Mr. Blulock, I say, fuck you, you misogynist piece of shit, because the Japanese women's soccer team won the World Cup one year, and then they went to the finals and rematched the American women the next time around, and the American women got the better of them that time.
	So the Japanese take the soccer fucking unbelievably seriously.
	Their women's World Cup team is great.
	But that's not good enough for Mr. Japanese-Men-Gotta-Be-Good-At-Soccer-Urka-Burka-Burka.
	Fuck you, buddy.
	Here in America, we accept that our men are bad at soccer and that our women crush it.
	And we are proud of this fact.
	Real quick, how much do the women get paid versus the men, even though the men suck?
	Oh, I think in America now it's equal.
	They finally got to equal pay.
	They just, I think, put that one to bed recently.
	Yeah.
	I'm sure the Japanese women make pennies on the dollar.
	We get it.
	You can stop virtue signaling.
	Old Woke Might Reigns!
	Yeah, that's me.
	Anyway, hey there Wokey, you want to tell us what you're excited about so we get the fuck out of here?
	Yep, literally nothing.
	The world's ending for me because the Celtics are probably going to lose tomorrow night and end their series because Golden State's figured them out.
	They suck.
	This is not a reverse jinx.
	I have no faith in the Celtics.
	I cannot believe they're favored to win game six tomorrow night.
	Please bet the farm on Golden State.
	Spoiler alert, this is not financial advice.
	That's probably a bad idea.
	The Stanley Cup Finals are starting tonight, which means that there's only seven games of playoff hockey left.
	Maybe, maybe less.
	And then that's gone.
	Jesus, it's fucking June.
	And then sports are dead until football starts, because fuck baseball.
	So that's great.
	The last episode of Taskmaster Season 13 is going to drop tomorrow.
	So I don't have any more of that to watch after that.
	So life sucks and I hate it.
	So that's what I'm looking forward to.
	Oh hey, it means you'll have plenty of time to finally watch The Venture Brothers, mate.
	You should watch The Venture Brothers.
	Fair point.
	Is it on HBO Max?
	All of it is actually on HBO Max.
	Oh, thank God, finally.
	OK, that's... It is all in one place.
	For a little while, it was hard to... Because there's a movie that's between two of the seasons and is actually, like, incredibly important.
	It's not like other TV movies where they just, like, don't ever reference the events again.
	Yes, I believe you were referring to All That and Gargantua 2.
	Yes.
	It's actual canon and not just shit they threw in a side mission.
	Okay, good to know.
	Anyway, well, yes, watch The Adventure Brothers and let that help you tenuously cling on to life until the NFL season starts.
	And meanwhile, we will, I don't know, let's go with Samantha from Bewitched style magic crinkly nose teleport ourselves out of Hellworld for the week.
	Somebody vandalized her statue in Salem.
	Those fucking assholes.
	I saw that.
	How dare they pour paint on that statue.
	I'm sure it took somebody some amount of time to just wash it right off.
	Probably no time at all.
	A little bit of hose action.
	Good protest, idiots.
	But yeah, thank you for listening to the show.
	So, if you would like to continue to support us, guess what?
	You can do that by telling a friend, or leaving us a 5-star review, or just engaging with us on our social media platforms, which I will tell you about slightly in the future.
	But yeah, all of that stuff is free, so you really don't have any excuse to it.
	Please, and thank you.
	If you have money, you can give it to us.
	We'll be happy to take it.
	Like I said, God knows we love selling out here at the Adventures of the Tall World Podcast.
	So you can visit our Patreon at patreon.com slash pokerpolitics.
	If you donate $5 or more a month, you get access to a slate of bonus content, including series such as Kabalin, What We Do Out of Shadows, and the currently running Mules Errand, where we are talking about 2,000 mules in much the same form or fashion that Mike did solo style on his Twitter.
	And his giant Rachel Maddow attracting post.
	I just assumed that it was your huge Mules post that got you the friend request for Maddow.
	That's a big get.
	Way to go.
	What a lad.
	It breaks my heart to tell you that there are no beautifuller babies for me to shout out this week, which is fine.
	I understand inflation is a thing.
	Gas prices are going up.
	Maybe you don't have enough money to share.
	If you do have some money, though, instead of giving it to us, you consider giving it to love146.org.
	for an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation,
	or you could donate it to a charity of your choice to help Ukraine in their defense against
	Russian aggression, or you could help our boy Cisco in Nevada. Any of those good causes for
	some money if you don't want to give it to three jerks that talk about Q on the internet.
	Thanks as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song.
	Still no social media for DJ Minimal Effort, so this is the best we could do, thank him.
	You can find our buddy Frosty, who does all of our bumps and voice work when we need it, on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
	You can find the show on Twitter, at Hellworld, that's H-E-L-L-W-Q-R-L-D.
	You can find Mike Rains on Twitter, at PokerPolitics.
	Myself, at HellworldL, spelled with a Q instead of an O, and Sarge, at SargeInHell.
	And that is going to do it for the show for the week.

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