This week Sarge, L, and Mike deal with MTG lying while being deposed, Alex Jones goes bankrupt, and Russia continues to fail in Ukraine. All this plus LoTT is doxxed and lots more. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| ♪♪♪ Content Warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| I am joined, as always, by Sarge. | |
| Hello from my Sky Fortress, my superior original recording location. | |
| And the mysterious Elle. | |
| Hello my beautiful babies Such a weirdo. | |
| Not you. | |
| You're a weirdo too, but... | |
| If not me, then who? | |
| Yeah, Shatner. | |
| Oh, I thought you were just like talking about ghosts. | |
| I was like, there's currently really had a conversation with one, maybe two people, if you include Mike. | |
| Mike hadn't done anything weird yet. | |
| He just introduced himself. | |
| Mike's pretty weird. | |
| Like, let's be honest. | |
| Yeah, but I mean, like, this is a weird, that would be a bizarre time for you to just throw it out there. | |
| He's just like, you know, nothing. | |
| What a weirdo. | |
| What a weird guy. | |
| Absolute nerd. | |
| I'm all of these things. | |
| All of these things in a bag of chips. | |
| You shut your weird, dumb mouth. | |
| It's time to talk about the Amuse Bouche. | |
| Our newest, hottest, juiciest segment. | |
| Just for your pink mouth's pleasure. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, that's why we do the content warning at the top now. | |
| So that I can talk about your wet, pink mouth. | |
| I couldn't even croak it out properly. | |
| It literally feels bad in the mouth, like how I imagine people find tapioca pudding that don't like it, where it's just like, the flavor is irrelevant. | |
| It feels like garbage in my mouth. | |
| This is what people come here for! | |
| I've taken this down a star rabbit hole already, which is great because it's a good way for me to segue into an even more bizarre thing. | |
| Let's talk about Tucker Carlson's ball sack. | |
| Apparently headline news, but not headline enough to actually make our headlines that we're going to dive deep into. | |
| But I've heard some internet rumblings about, as I have it written here, Tuck's tanned testes. | |
| That's probably that one. | |
| So, uh, Tucker Carlson created a quote unquote documentary called The End of Men and this documentary had a trailer for it that was the most homoerotic thing you've ever seen. | |
| It had, uh, guys shooting guns in slow motion with their muscles rippling, uh, guys grappling like in a gym, like they were in an MMA fight and tackling each other. | |
| Um, But the piece de resistance was a man standing, arms splayed as though he were Jesus, and he was totally naked, but he had this weird, like, stand that was shooting a glowing red light at his crotch, which was behind the stand, so you couldn't see anything. | |
| Wait, a stand like JoJo? | |
| Or what are we talking about? | |
| Uh, just like, basically imagine one of those, like a stand where you plug in an electric car. | |
| I love how you slid that one over to Mike Rades, like he knows what the fuck JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is. | |
| He's a big nerd? | |
| No Rosalie fucking idea what you were going for there! | |
| You had no idea! | |
| If only the listeners could have seen the deer in headlights look on Mike Rains' face | |
| when he realized that that was some sort of pop culture throw that he had no idea about. | |
| I knew it was something, but I had no idea what it was. | |
| I was just going to do what you do in that situation and just aggressively straight man | |
| it and be like, I have no idea where you were going with that, and I'm just going to stick | |
| to the news. | |
| Do you suppose that other successful podcasts, like other more successful podcasts, I should | |
| say, talk about their own failings inside the episode as they happen? | |
| It's like in media res over here. | |
| We don't wait until after the podcast. | |
| Like, wow, that JoJo thing went right over Mike's head. | |
| No fucking way he was going to get that one. | |
| Yeah, the No Mistakes Ever podcast. | |
| No Mistakes Ever. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, that's us. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| The error-free podcast, if there ever was one. | |
| Anyway, so no, I'm assuming not a stand for JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. | |
| I'm assuming more of like a podium or something. | |
| It was just this weird, like, just a rectangle that was in front of this guy's nutsack that was emitting a red light into his crotch. | |
| Its only purpose, its only function was to have the light. | |
| Yes. | |
| It is built for the light. | |
| I thought it was supposed to be like hiding this like secret crotch light. | |
| No, this was, we're gonna tell you right now, describing this scene, it's very confusing. | |
| I have no idea what's going on. | |
| Is it any more clear when you're watching it? | |
| Yeah, it's, you just see this naked guy with his arms splayed out like Jesus, and there's just this weird rectangle in front of his, like, rising up to his crotch, and there's a red light around his crotch that you can see being emanated from the rectangle. | |
| You see how I got to Jojo, though? | |
| You know what I'm talking about. | |
| I have no idea what you're talking about. | |
| Oh, okay. | |
| That would require me to be a weeb, which I am not. | |
| Yeah, alright. | |
| You absolute liar. | |
| I have never seen a Korean cartoon ever. | |
| You're such a piece of shit. | |
| You keep your Chinese cartoons to yourself. | |
| For those of you who missed out on our annihilated podcast attempt from last night... Well, it's everyone's. | |
| Yeah, that's all of you. | |
| Yeah, for literally everyone out there. | |
| That was a joke! | |
| Anyone not in this recording! | |
| Al is continuing his brilliant no-end improv. | |
| Yeah, I mean, he's absolutely- I'm the pioneer. | |
| I'm the pioneer of no hands. | |
| Actually, there's no way that's true. | |
| Somebody else out there has definitely thought about that stupid idea and has done it to death, and now it's passe. | |
| So please, don't at me on Twitter, that would be- I'm a pioneer of nothing. | |
| Anyway, so, uh, wow, we got already wildly derailed by this. | |
| So, does the video end with the crotch triangle, or...? | |
| Uh, the video ha- the crotch rectangle is big. | |
| The actual ending of the video is not any less homoerotic, because it's basically what appears to be a naked man It is the back of a naked man walking, like, getting into the shot, then walking forward so the camera's following him. | |
| And then he, like, flexes and gets a big, like, a bicep pump to end it. | |
| And you're starting to see his ass when they put the words, the end of man, across the screen. | |
| So there seems to be, like, an attempted double entendre there. | |
| Featuring that guy's bum. | |
| Ah yes, because it is that man's end. | |
| Yes. | |
| As I understand it, on the man where the feces comes out. | |
| On the scale of the volleyball scene from Top Gun to The Man Show, how homoerotic is it? | |
| The Man Show being not homoerotic in any way ever. | |
| It may actually defeat the volleyball scene from Top Gun. | |
| It is ridiculous. | |
| Yeah, Patton Oswalt in a tweet declared that this goes back to his first special where he was talking about being more gay than eight guys blowing nine guys. | |
| This was the most ridiculously over the top thing. | |
| And I did and of course everyone dunked on it because it deserved it. | |
| There was like, They did, like, a bit, like, promoing it, and then they went to a segment with Kid Rock, and even Kid Rock was like, yo, Tucky Tuck, what the fuck are you doing? | |
| Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump the brakes. | |
| Before we get to any more reaction-riffing material, I don't think that anything you described in what the video was about has anything to do with tanned testicles. | |
| Well, the red light that was hitting the guy's crotch, that was this infrared light activity that these people do where they hit their testicles with a lot of radiation and that's supposed to build up like semen and testosterone. | |
| Right, right. | |
| And I also heard that like some other people were relating this to people that are butthole sunners, where it's this big weird hippie thing where you get out naked and hold your butt to the sky and you tan, you tan literally where the sun don't shine and it energizes you. | |
| So it's a lot, there's a lot of different like woo woo new age bullshit. | |
| That is going into this. | |
| Can you imagine what must have happened on the evolutionary tree for that to be a thing that people were designed to be able to do but just forgot about? | |
| Where it's just like, no, you fools, you're supposed to be pointing your ass at the sun for energy and power. | |
| Oh, truly. | |
| Well, this this sounds like it's a lot more fun if you watch it. | |
| So I'd suggest the listeners go and just watch this dumb thing, because I think I might actually have to give it a look, because I'm only partially sort of understanding what Mike's talking about. | |
| I'm assuming it's actually what's in my mind is almost certainly pretty close, but it just seems so outlandish that it's like that couldn't possibly be what we're talking about. | |
| It almost certainly is. | |
| It really is that bad. | |
| I mean, it's just this kind of thing where you're like, how the fuck did they think this was a thing they should do? | |
| And the one last thing I'll bring up about it is I did see a bunch of people talking about how Tucker is aggressively promoting, like, white nationalist tropes about men being emasculated, that liberal democracy is feminizing, and that this is all the kind of shit that, like, neo-Nazis talk about And it's dangerous. | |
| And all of that may be true, but I think it's also important to dunk on this shit hard. | |
| Because one of the things that these kinds of movements live off of is being cool. | |
| Being something you want to be a part of because it's awesome. | |
| It's why people like try to bring up like normies being cringe. | |
| And you don't want to be like those squares. | |
| They're weird. | |
| They're lame. | |
| You want to be like the cool dudes. | |
| So it's like, no. | |
| Call these people out. | |
| Make fun of them. | |
| Make fun of Tucker for this shit. | |
| Make fun of buttholes, tanning, and irradiating your scrotum. | |
| All of it. | |
| All of it is supposed to be humiliating. | |
| I find this so unfathomably weird. | |
| They're just... oh my god. | |
| Yep. | |
| Also, I for one am kind of pumped that liberal ideology has feminized me. | |
| It genuinely feels kind of good. | |
| I'm just like, oh, y'all don't know about your feminine side? | |
| Dog, get with it. | |
| It's great. | |
| Also, it's more, it's less of like a pride and it's more of like spectrum, but you know, | |
| steps. | |
| They have to crawl before they can walk, before they can run. | |
| Okay, so now we have to circle back to something that we, we, we did riff on yesterday. | |
| So unfortunately, the podcast that was swallowed by time is going to remove my first opinions about the following topic. | |
| But we're going to discuss it nonetheless, because it was a thing of note. | |
| And that is libs of TikTok. | |
| So, Mike Rains, for the audience, what is libs of TikTok? | |
| Libs of TikTok was and is a right-wing grifter who was trying to get internet famous and they found their niche by pretty much posting a bunch of, again, cringe liberals doing stuff like, look at these crazy liberals and how weird and dumb they are doing this dumb shit. | |
| Oh, so I didn't get a chance to ask you this previously. | |
| So I'm going to ask you this time. | |
| Did you watch any of these? | |
| And if so, was the stuff on display just like regular being sort of like progressive stuff or was it actual crazy nonsense? | |
| Uh, there, I mean, there is some crazy, the crazy nonsense that exists is like sort of the, it's the sort of like a cherry picking where you find someone with an account that has like no actual followers and you just grab them to dunk on them. | |
| You try to be like, this is representative of libs, but the actual where the shit gets actually evil and mean spirited. | |
| is when Libs of TikTok would find LGBTQ teachers that would be talking about the Don't Say Gay Bill or other bigoted legislation. | |
| And they would find these videos of someone just being like, hey, it just kind of hurts that I'm in this class now and I can't talk about my husband and it's really mean-spirited. | |
| Because I'm just trying to live my life and I'm just trying to like talk to my students and relate to them and now like they're trying to make me like this un-person who can't speak freely and libs of TikTok would go after these people and try to dox them and try to get them fired and was actually successful at getting at least one teacher fired from what I saw. | |
| Because these people were just venting about how shitty the world was treating them. | |
| And then libs of TikTok would come and be like, look at this groomer trying to tell your kids all about sex and how creepy and weird they are. | |
| Isn't this monstrous? | |
| Isn't this terrible? | |
| And This was their shtick. | |
| And once the whole groomer, pedophile bullshit became big in the Republican Party, Libs of TikTok was laser focused on promoting that idea and making sure that any teacher who said anything on social media that was not great, or on TikTok because that's where they get their name from and all that, did go after them and they'd do everything they possibly could to harass and ruin those people. | |
| And then they went on Tucker and got themselves doxxed. | |
| Well, yeah, the timeline of- Did they get their testicles beamed? | |
| Actually, Libs of TikTok is a woman, which is- Two women. | |
| I didn't hear about a second one, but I do know... It's two people, I know that much, one of them got themselves doxxed by appearing on Tucker Carlson. | |
| And a lot of people were just like, well, that's what you get for doxxing people. | |
| She was like, hey, I'm really putting myself out there in my desire for you to give my labia that sweet red light. | |
| Just please blast my crotch with your powerful man light. | |
| That is what they said. | |
| Could that have been the sequel, The Beginning of Women? | |
| I'm not sure. | |
| I don't exactly know how it works, but I'm going for it. | |
| Hey, if we have the end of men, it's gotta be something. | |
| Yeah, the opposite must be true. | |
| They would hate that because that would imply that women are going to inherit the earth or whatever. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's not what the book says. | |
| No. | |
| That's not how that book ends. | |
| We've all read the book. | |
| I don't know that I didn't hear anything about a second person being behind the limbs of TikTok because the kind of the uglies part of all of this is that Some of the right wing, uh, namely, you know, Gab, land of Nazis and racists, uh, they started getting kind of upset with libs of TikTok because when, uh, the woman who was on Tucker Carlson got outed, uh, it became known that she is Orthodox Jewish and, uh, | |
| The good folks on Gab, not so much with the Jewish faith. | |
| So suddenly they were just like, hey, Libs of TikTok, we're not sure you're really on our side, because you know. | |
| So while all of this is happening and Libs of TikTok is claiming that they're being silenced by woke cancel culture and all that bullshit, they now have a $50 a month substack you can donate to if you want to read their musings on the internet about what's going on in our world. | |
| Sounds right. | |
| I'm thinking they're going to land on their feet because these grifters always do this shit. | |
| And this is the red meat hate content that conservatives crave. | |
| Libs of TikTok was promoted by Joe Rogan. | |
| Again, they were on Tucker Carlson. | |
| They've had, I believe, 136 interactions with Governor DeSantis' spokesperson on Twitter. | |
| My God, interactions. | |
| So, I mean, it's like, it's not like they were just some fringe account that nobody had ever heard of. | |
| Like, they had some clout. | |
| They were our cog in the right-wing slime machine, which is just wonderful to aspire to such heights. | |
| I feel like this is my fault, listeners. | |
| I forgot to explicitly tell Mr. Mike Raines to keep the Amuse Bush content light. | |
| That's not a bad thing. | |
| That's not just kept getting darker and worse. | |
| And it was like, and then it was revealed that she was a person of Jewish faith. | |
| So the anti-Semitism really kicked in. | |
| Wonderful. | |
| What a great like time to open up your sensory expenses with our amuse-bouche for the main course, | |
| which is literally on its way right now. | |
| Mike, it's that bump. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News. | |
| So Magic the Gathering has a new set releasing called Streets of New Capenna. | |
| It's an art deco, sort of 1920s mobster, Dick Tracy meets fantasy inspired plane that we've never been to before. | |
| They have a cool Sphinx guy who's like on the cops and you can bribe or investigate with him, but he's in the Commander expansion for New Capenna. | |
| Uh, and this illustrates a problem that me and a subset of nerds that I belong to have. | |
| Uh, we have a real problem. | |
| Uh, Marjorie Taylor Greene is frequently in the news and we frequently have to cover her and we will here briefly, but. | |
| That has been shortened by the media to MTG, which famously, for like 25 years, has already stood for a thing to a lot of us. | |
| And I think it's Magic the Gathering. | |
| So it's always weird to see these headlines where it's like, MTG! | |
| Something racist! | |
| And I'm just like, I thought that they sort of fixed that like three years ago, finally, after forever. | |
| And I'm just like, oh wait, no, it's this horrible woman again. | |
| Well, this time around, she is lying into the faces of, like, prosecutors or whatever. | |
| Mike, fill us in. | |
| What is going on with Marjorie the Gathering? | |
| So Marjorie the Gathering is currently being deposed because some good folks in Georgia decided to try to remove her from the ballot via the 14th Amendment. | |
| Because the 14th Amendment, while it grants equal rights and all kinds of other fun stuff, it also has a provision in the amendment that if you had committed sedition against America, you're not allowed to serve in our government anymore. | |
| Because this amendment was created right after the Civil War when that was really pertinent. | |
| So weird. Yes. So, so they wanted to crack down on that shit. So some people were like, hey, | |
| January 6, Marjorie committed treason. | |
| Let's go after her and try to kick her off the ballot. And some judge who I've seen a lot of | |
| legal experts being like, I don't know if this is the best idea or not, because she hasn't been | |
| convicted of any crimes. | |
| Some judge was like, I'll allow it! | |
| So Marjorie had to get up on the stand today and tell us her tale. | |
| And she has told us that, quote, she said she was terrified on 1-6, which up until today, I don't think she's ever said that. | |
| She claimed that she never called Nancy Pelosi a traitor, and then was shown tweets and evidence that she had, in fact, called Nancy Pelosi a traitor. | |
| It's great, because she's literally just like, I never said that, and they're just like, show her this exhibit. | |
| She's like, well, I mean, that's like, you know. | |
| If you're going to keep showing receipts, I'm going to sound like a real asshole. | |
| And you just get to see her like, just be like, oh, well, that's definitive. | |
| She was just like, I'm sure they had something, but probably not something that powerful. | |
| She was surprised. | |
| Like Lex Luthor just whipped out actual kryptonite in front of Superman. | |
| It's just like, well, no, you see, the thing is, I love kryptonite or whatever. | |
| So funny. | |
| Yeah. So she and she has answered an innumerate number of questions with I don't know, I don't remember, I can't | |
| recall. So she is doing everything in her power to try to just get through this deposition is as bad. I mean, it's | |
| It's an absolute dumpster fire, but she's just trying to avoid totally immolating and crashing and burning here. | |
| At what point does her deposition simply prove that she's out of her office because she has severe memory loss issues? | |
| Yeah, oh, yeah like | |
| Hey libs of Twitter and libs of tick-tock if you want to show up as in the actual people that are being attacked | |
| If you want to create like the Dementia MTG hashtag and try to get that trending because they love attacking Biden that way, that would be hilarious to throw it back in her face. | |
| That's like, hey, she can't remember anything. | |
| Someone with this horrifying mental health issues obviously can't be fit to serve for office. | |
| Oh, you know what? | |
| I sort of feel like my official position is that I don't support any attack hashtags. | |
| This is- she's- and MTG's not the one- Not even for bad people! | |
| I don't want to be attached to any of that. | |
| Fair. | |
| What'd you say, Serge? | |
| Oh, this is not the one Elle finds attractive. | |
| No, that's Bovert. | |
| Yeah, that's Bovert. | |
| Alright. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, so Marjorie's just making a meal of it today. | |
| I don't know what it's going to amount to, because in a lot of ways it'd be a very weird thing if a judge was suddenly just like, Marjorie, you've said some really naughty things and now you can't be a congressperson anymore. | |
| Yeah, I mean, I can understand why people are a little nervous where it's just like, having been convicted, or even really accused of anything, we're still gonna drag you in before this judge just tell us some shit ostensibly under oath or whatever, it's just, we demand you be truthful for us for a while. | |
| It's like, I don't know if you should be able to do that. | |
| Don't get me wrong, I don't like Marjorie Taylor Greene. | |
| She's awful. | |
| And not just because she ruined my precious Magic the Gathering abbreviation, but she's just transparently a person that does not drive with my ideology. | |
| I mean, she's full Mask Off Q. | |
| Well, no, I believe that while being extra truthful in front of these people, she said that she never believed in QAnon before they showed her some video from 2017 of her talking about how she's like, you know who's legit? | |
| This Q person. | |
| And I didn't get to see her reaction to that one because I was just watching GIFs on Twitter, but I'm assuming it was something to the effect of, I mean, like, you know, I mean, I was joking or whatever. | |
| Yeah, there was a bunch of people that were following in a DM group with me and they were just like, hey, she just said she doesn't know QAnon. | |
| Someone find the video of her saying Q is a patriot. | |
| And we all went scrambling and we found it and we posted it in the chat and all had a hearty laugh because it's just like, What's so funny about all this shit is that there was, in her pilled state, at some point someone got a hold of her because she was just like posting all this shit about how she loved QAnon. | |
| And then like, I don't know, six to nine months before she started running for office, she just stopped talking about QAnon. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It was kind of like a handler grabbed her and was like, Marjorie, Marjorie, ixnay on the Q bay. | |
| Let's just focus on rational stuff like hating socialism and AOC and how much you love guns. | |
| You know, stuff that plays with the heartland. | |
| I've been Pig Latin'd in a while, but what's a Cubay? | |
| I have no idea. | |
| It's an old arcade character. | |
| Yes. | |
| It's Salt Bae's pilled brother. | |
| That would be awesome. | |
| Remember Salt Bay? | |
| Yes. | |
| That was from the time either during or before COVID, which means that it is... I'm just estimating everything to like 10 years at this point. | |
| I'm just like, yeah, it was within 10 years. | |
| As close as you're gonna get out of me. | |
| He made a vertical burger now. | |
| And he doesn't pay his workers. | |
| Do they just work for exposure? | |
| No, he's just a piece of shit, like... No, he's just a piece of shit. | |
| Okay, well, I mean, fair enough. | |
| That will happen amongst people that are famous. | |
| It is known. | |
| Also, a piece of shit, Governor Ron DeSantis. | |
| Do you know how to say that? | |
| Also, this is his first name, Ron. | |
| Did I get that right? | |
| Well, he has decided to put on his big boy pants. | |
| He has blasted his testicles with a red light. | |
| He has put on his big boy pants and he has officially, as of today, gone directly after the mouse. | |
| They he did it. | |
| He everybody was just like they were just like, is he just going to hold on to it? | |
| And no, he did it today. | |
| So, Mike, what what exactly did he do? | |
| What's going on in everyone's favorite state, Florida? | |
| Oh, the magical land of Florida. | |
| DeSantis has signed a bill that has removed Disney's, basically, Disney had the right to kind of run their own little bit of territory, and DeSantis now took that away from them. | |
| Did he activate it? | |
| I thought he just had the option. | |
| He signed it, and everything I'm reading from everyone is saying that this thing has actually totally happened now. | |
| And that... You come from a family of fortune and thieves. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And now, like, this bill is going to create, like, this massive shortfall in Florida's budget because basically, like, a billion dollars of money Disney was using to, like, fund their own area, now Disney doesn't have to do that because it doesn't exist anymore. | |
| And they've been talking about how Orlando No, it was Orange County and another county nearby. | |
| They're going to have their property taxes go up by 25% or more in order to cover this shortfall. | |
| Unless they start cutting spending. | |
| So it's this, I mean, the thing about it that's, it's so bizarre because on the one hand you've got the Santa's being like, I'm standing up to the woke Disney culture war bullshit with their groomer bargle bargle. | |
| But if you actually wanted to attack the Santas from the right, you could just be like, Governor DeSantis just gave Disney a billion dollar tax break and raise your taxes. | |
| Someone's going to do that. | |
| Yeah, they should. | |
| I mean, like, this is... | |
| This is such a bizarre, like, shoot first, ask questions later sort of bill. | |
| What happens if Disney is just like, well, without those protections we can't do the thing, so we're just gonna have to furlough all these workers? | |
| Like, how many people do they employ? | |
| Like, 70,000 or something like that? | |
| Yep, somewhere around there. | |
| Yeah, I mean, and that's just, like, direct employee. | |
| It's somewhere between, like, 60,000 and 70,000 that they directly employ. | |
| That's not even counting all the parasitic tourism around Disney World that Florida lives off of. | |
| I'm sure there's, like, all sorts of, like, hotels and restaurants and everything else around Mousestan that needs Disney to be around so that they can remora off the shark Yeah, I don't think Disney makes that play. | |
| Like, DeSantis is just hanging himself here. | |
| Well, I mean, it sort of goes bad no matter what, right? | |
| Like, it can do nothing. | |
| They can just sort of, like, operate as usual. | |
| And then it's obviously just quite light. | |
| Then, like we said, the political opponents can make the move look bad for DeSantis, or Disney can do any number of active things. | |
| It just seems like it really put the squeeze on Florida. | |
| Especially because he got his balls up and he was just like, hey, you're a company that's based out of California, you're guests in our state, we're sending you a message. | |
| He was just like, we're coming at you. | |
| And it's just like, doc, Disney employs a tremendous number of people that live in your state. | |
| Yeah, so many. | |
| And they have infinite money. | |
| Like, just actual infinite money. | |
| And the thing that blows my mind about this shit is that for the longest time Republicans existed in this idea that we're the party of free markets and if you come to our state we'll just like slash all the regulations and Do whatever the fuck you want. | |
| We don't care. | |
| We're all about free markets. | |
| And now suddenly, like, it's like all these different states with Republican governors are like fighting so hard to be the company that tries to regulate quote unquote woke businesses the most aggressively. | |
| It's just like, Hey Nike with your Kaepernick! | |
| Hey you could get fucked with that shit and Disney and your woke movies and we're gonna and it's just like I wonder at what point do the corporations who love Republicans for tax breaks just go you know the I don't know when you're gonna turn on me. | |
| I don't know when I'm gonna make an ad that's gonna be a little too spicy for your stupid fucking audience. | |
| And the next thing I know, I got Governor Putt-Putt of Fuckistan saying like, That's it! | |
| I'm going after you, Haagen-Dazs! | |
| Your ice cream has gone a bit too far for me! | |
| And with your foreign name! | |
| What are you all about? | |
| I mean... Maybe the Dems should dangle some tax breaks in front of these companies. | |
| It'd just be like, turn on your former masters. | |
| Now we have the breaks. | |
| I feel like they've tried that. | |
| I mean, if you're Disney, don't you like talk about how you're thinking about maybe moving to Georgia, which is gonna be more and more blue? | |
| Or Virginia, which is a solid blue state. | |
| I mean, hey, you might be like, you know, Florida's getting weirder with the weather and the climate change and all that stuff, so maybe they're not even going to- That would be insane if they were just like, you know, we are going to move to Disney World. | |
| That is never going to happen. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That would be amazing. | |
| That would be incredible. | |
| I hope that they genuinely just moved the whole fucking thing. | |
| I want them to up it. | |
| They're like, hey, we called up our boy Elon Musk and he engineered us a way to fucking support all of Disney World with balloons. | |
| And we're going to up it up to Virginia. | |
| Up it. | |
| Sorry, that took me a minute to catch. | |
| I was like, what is he talking about? | |
| Oh, just like so many balloons. | |
| Disney Pixar's up. | |
| Yes. | |
| I'm all caught up now. | |
| It's like Disney's insert property here, which is another thing. | |
| It's like, not only do they just, like, they have a tremendous amount of political and financial power, but they also just have, like, all the cultural power. | |
| Like, Disney could just be like, I want the next Pixar movie to be a family moving out of Florida because they hate it. | |
| Or comically evil governor. | |
| Yeah, and they're just like, ugh, we don't like this very much, and the family moves away. | |
| It would be a very softball attack, but an attack nonetheless. | |
| That'd be great. | |
| Oh, and yeah, you make it about the kid being picked on, because you just make it a coming-of-age movie for someone who's LGBTQ, and you're just like, hey, this place sucks, and we moved to this nice town, and it was great! | |
| So, hey, keep that going! | |
| Well, it's not getting crazy. | |
| Disney's not that brave. | |
| Aw, come on, Disney! | |
| Grow a pair! | |
| Mickey! | |
| Maybe this'll get them to really embrace it. | |
| Maybe just to fuck with Florida, they lean into it and actually start doing gay stuff. | |
| Instead of just talking about gay stuff. | |
| Like, just give us two boy foxes kissing or whatever. | |
| Like, it's fine. | |
| Like, nobody cares. | |
| Well, nobody you should worry about cares. | |
| I, like, Ted Cruz said something weird about how, like, Disney's now got, uh, Mickey and Pluto going at it, and, like, this woke culture. | |
| That would be incredible. | |
| I would love to see an official Disney anything that that was part of. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I'm fully on board. | |
| Like an adult coloring book? | |
| You just, like, flip the page and you're just like, whoa. | |
| That is aggressive. | |
| As a lot of people pointed out about that, it's really weird that he went with Pluto, because Pluto is like an actual dog. | |
| Yeah, he's goofy! | |
| He's a dog, but also a person. | |
| Right, exactly! | |
| No, just Mickey's best friend, actual dog. | |
| He's a single father! | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah, he's got DILF energy. | |
| Why would he just goofy? | |
| Yes. | |
| Lord, oh my god, we're the worst people on the planet of the Earth. | |
| Yeah, maybe Russia should nuke us. | |
| Like, oof. | |
| We could save this for the Russia Roundup, but I just wanted to, like, I don't want to forget to bring it up, so little Putin's gonna get his own special slice here as a surprise to everybody because I didn't bring it up during our meeting. | |
| What about, what was going on with Putin clutching that desk? | |
| I finally saw some of that. | |
| What are you talking about? | |
| Fill the audience and Sarge in on what the hell I'm talking about. | |
| So there was a video of Putin talking to one of his minions and Like, you would think that Putin would make sure that this video would, like, capture him in a flattering light, and instead, you just have Putin, like, white-knuckle grabbing one edge of the table with his hand. | |
| And I've seen, like, three-minute clips of the video, but there are people who've said that the full video is 15 minutes long, and his hand never leaves the edge of the table. | |
| He is, like, white-knuckling that table half the time, clutching it with his hands. | |
| He's also, like, sitting, he's, like, hunched. | |
| Yes! | |
| And he's, like, sort of like a crone. | |
| Like, he's just got, like, a weird bend to him in his, like, positioning. | |
| And also, he just, his face looks sort of, like, zonked. | |
| I had heard that he had, like, known health problems and was, like, training up a... It looks like he has a very painful hernia and he's just trying to tough it out. | |
| He's got all the symptoms of being in like a tremendous amount of pain. | |
| He's like tightly gripping a thing. | |
| He just looks sort of like clammy and bad and just like generally at unease. | |
| Yeah, like and people like you're looking at the right, his right side is closest to the camera. | |
| That's where his right hand is clutching the edge of the table. | |
| His right foot is constantly tapping and just like moving. | |
| The left side of his body is like dead. | |
| Like the left side of his body does not move at all for the entire clip. | |
| I mean, and as El has mentioned, his face is incredible. | |
| His face is, like, so smooth. | |
| He has, like, moon face, I've heard some people describe it as. | |
| And people have said that it's, like, either steroids or that he's addicted to fillers to try to get wrinkles out. | |
| And he's now addicted to cosmetic surgery. | |
| So, like, there is all kinds of shit you can fucking go over. | |
| That's truly crazy. | |
| He's addicted to cosmetics. | |
| That would be great. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| But, I mean, his face is incredibly smooth. | |
| It's, like, fucking weird. | |
| I mean, it's, like... I mean, his face looks weird, but, I mean, to me, he just looks like he's in pain and trying to tough it out. | |
| Yeah, oh, yeah. | |
| Or possibly... I mean, because illness doesn't really explain the grasping of the table, unless he's just trying to prevent himself from whorfin', but... The people are... the illness people are going with is Parkinson's, and he's gripping the table not to tremor, that he's gripping the table so people can't see his hand shaking. | |
| Oh, I mean, if so, then yikes. | |
| That would be Buckwild. | |
| I prefer to just think that he's got a massive hernia. | |
| Or maybe it's just rage. | |
| Maybe he's just filled with an abated rage over his failures in Ukraine. | |
| If it's Parkinson's, then that's extra rough, bud. | |
| But also, you are a war criminal and fuck you. | |
| Yes! | |
| Talk shit, get hit. | |
| Maybe God is real. | |
| Come on, God, you can do it! | |
| I've always been asking for definitive proof, and this is it. | |
| So that was our little Putin talk. | |
| We'll talk about it a little more in Russia, possibly at the end of the news segment, if we have time. | |
| But instead, we have to move on to our next headline, which I've written down here as, Audio Be Leakin'. | |
| Because apparently this week a not insignificant amount of audio has in fact be leaking. | |
| So, Mike Rands, why don't you go over what audio from whom has been leaking to whom and why. | |
| So our appetizer, as it were, is J.D. | |
| Vance, racist sack of shit being bankrolled by billionaire sack of shit Peter Thiel, who is running for Senate in Ohio. | |
| He is now the Trump-endorsed candidate in the Republican primary here, even though he's been polling like dog shit. | |
| In 2016, it has come out that J.D. | |
| Vance called Donald Trump America's Hitler. | |
| So, uh, the man has somehow in the span of six years... Wait a minute, that sounds like a liberal thing! | |
| That's a liberal thing to say! | |
| Oh, this is so weird. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| So, Vance said this, and then... Because if you don't know his claim to fame, he wrote a Hillbilly eulogy, and he claimed to be like the... After Trump won the election, everyone was like, how did we miss it? | |
| How did we not see Trump's appeal to the downtrodden? | |
| And it's like, racism. | |
| It was racism. | |
| That's what he was riding on. | |
| Just calm down. | |
| It was racism all along! | |
| I'm just now imagining a CGI Klan hood giving an exaggerated weak wink to the camera. | |
| But he did that and then eventually after people started figuring out, hey, wait a minute, this guy isn't an actual liberal who is a speaker for the downtrodden. | |
| He was like, oh, yeah, by the way, I'm just a fucking bog standard right wing Republican shitbag. | |
| And now I've buddied up to a billionaire and I want to try to buy myself a Senate seat. | |
| So he just has run the most ridiculous campaign you possibly could. | |
| He even had a video where he's like, he's like, you're not a racist. | |
| I mean, you don't hate Mexicans, do you? | |
| And it's like, well, okay, JD, whatever you're going for here, God bless you. | |
| But, um, So yeah, he did that, and apparently there has been not a whole hell of a lot of fallout because, again, I haven't seen any polling that's shown that Trump's endorsement of him has moved the needle at all. | |
| He was losing the primary before, and don't know that he's got any chance to right the ship. | |
| But the big story was from last night where Kevin McCarthy I don't know if Liz Cheney herself had the audio or who got the audio, but Kevin McCarthy, who wants to be the Speaker of the House if the Republicans win the midterms this year, he and Liz Cheney were talking right after it won the 6th. | |
| During that conversation, McCarthy was like, oh yeah, by the way, I'm going to tell Trump he should probably resign because what's happened here is totally unacceptable. | |
| So yeah, I'm going to get right on that. | |
| I'm going to put in some work. | |
| And today there has been more audio that's come out and McCarthy also said, | |
| I've had it with this guy. | |
| What he did was unacceptable. | |
| No one can defend that, and nobody should defend it. | |
| And he further stated that Trump, quote unquote, bears responsibility for his words and actions. | |
| And that Trump, quote, told me he does have some responsibility | |
| for what happened. | |
| So yeah. | |
| So I mean, I don't know. | |
| I forgot to ask you this important part when we were talking about Disney. | |
| But I won't forget here. | |
| What's QAnon's reaction to this scalding hot tape? | |
| Uh, this scalding hot tape, uh, they hate McCarthy. | |
| They've always hated McCarthy. | |
| So this is just awesome in their book. | |
| Uh, they, they hope that McCarthy, uh, goes down in flames. | |
| They're very much hoping that, uh, in their minds, when the Republicans win in the, in the fall, that Jim Jordan becomes speaker of the house or some other, or some other batshit lunatic, uh, receives the gavel from Pelosi. | |
| So yeah, for them, this is just further proof of their massive deep state conspiracy that everybody is in on, and that McCarthy is just one of the bad guys in the Republican Party that needs to be purged when the Great Awakening finally arrives. | |
| Yeah, and how's all that going? | |
| Turns out, not so great? | |
| No, the Great Awakening, not, I mean, it's much like the Great Pumpkin. | |
| Any day now, Linus will be vindicated. | |
| Any day now. | |
| Just you keep waiting. | |
| You're gonna get your vindication any moment. | |
| I would have also accepted going to kick the football and having it yanked out. | |
| Oh yeah, the penis is just full of failed success, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, what are the odds that anything actually comes of this scalding hot tape? | |
| Like, how much of a smoking gun is this? | |
| How ruinous is it? | |
| Like, should QAnon supporters be dancing on the grave already, so to speak? | |
| I mean, it seems like there's a lot of blowback right now. | |
| I'm seeing stuff about like how basically even most Republicans hate McCarthy and that these tapes are kind of pointing out what a two-faced sack of shit he is. | |
| I don't know if McCarthy is actually facing a primary challenger. | |
| Or if there's any actual... I mean, I'm sure he's in a blood-red district that he can't possibly be removed from by a Democrat, but I haven't... I don't see anything currently that would indicate that he was going to be removed from office anytime soon, but... Does he face as much blowback as that crazy dude that was just like, you Republican lawmakers or whatever and your hooker blow orgy parties? | |
| Our boy Madison Cawthorn. | |
| Well, Madison seemed to be weathering the storm okay as well, but today it just came out. | |
| There were photos of him wearing women's lingerie. | |
| Oh no! | |
| That's fine. | |
| And for us... He actually doesn't look bad in it? | |
| Nope. | |
| For what it's worth, I mean... | |
| Maybe that's why these guys were so upset about him talking about these cocaine and hooker orgies, is that they didn't want Madison to awaken anything in them if he showed up wearing his fishnets. | |
| I mean, it's a possibility. | |
| And this is the thing, is that these photos are super tame. | |
| They're boring. | |
| This is just a dumb thing that friends do on a lark. | |
| This is, welcome to the world you've created. | |
| Welcome to the bed you now lie in, Madison Cawthorn, because guess what? | |
| If you do anything non-heteronormative in this world, you're now a pedophile. | |
| You're now a groomer in Republican QAnon world. | |
| I mean, Cawthorne's beloved by QAnon, so I'm sure they're going to find some way to poo-poo this. | |
| In the photos, he's surrounded by women. | |
| He's surrounded by women, and they're clearly partying. | |
| I'm assuming he's just going to try to put some sort of masculine spin on it. | |
| It's just like, would you dress like a chick too if it got you these four chicks? | |
| It's like, okay, well... I mean, he can't own it, but in a perfect world, he would just be like, and so what? | |
| What does it matter? | |
| He's like, I was Van Wildering it. | |
| Yeah, America's greatest hero, J. Edgar Hoover, wore women's underwear. | |
| What does it matter? | |
| It's not even women's underwear. | |
| It's just underwear. | |
| And, uh, but he's fighting for a world where that doesn't get to be a thing. | |
| So fuck him. | |
| Right. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's just one of those things that, uh, It's something that is harmless in all reality, but if I were working on a campaign against him, God, I would run it against him. | |
| God, I would use this. | |
| Oh yeah, every billboard in town. | |
| Yep, every billboard in town. | |
| Madison Cawthorne's a weird deviant sex pervert, and we need to get him out of office for God and Jesus. | |
| Wow. | |
| Much like the color black in Magic the Gathering, you two will do anything to win. | |
| That's me. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| I will do anything for Yawgmoth's bargain. | |
| I live only to risk all for greater glory. | |
| You guys need to remember to take your sellout pills before you get on the show. | |
| Yawgmoth's coming back, baby. | |
| He's coming back. | |
| Yeah. | |
| For the real believers, Yawgmoth never left at all. | |
| He was in our hearts the whole time. | |
| The real Yawgmoth was the friends you made into monsters along the way. | |
| Damn right. | |
| You tell them, boss. | |
| Okay, so... Massive Cawthorn, was that his name? | |
| Yes. | |
| It sounds so fake coming out of the mouth, right? | |
| That sounds like the most caucasian thing ever. | |
| Yes. | |
| Madison Bryce-Cawthorn is the only person having a rough time this week. | |
| Our good friend Alex Jones also having a rough week on a couple of fronts. | |
| So Mike, tell us, give us the full scoop. | |
| Give us two full scoops, like Raisin Bran, of Alex Jones woes. | |
| So Alex, first of all, his woes from his civil litigation. | |
| A, he got hit with a million dollar sanction to pay the legal fees of his opponents in one case. | |
| And that is direct from his own pocket. | |
| That is a personal cost of his. | |
| And he has to pay within a month. | |
| Yes. | |
| He doesn't get to wait on that one. | |
| No, you cough that up now or we start coming for it. | |
| And two, He filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy declaring Infowars. | |
| He did this whole thing about how it's a restructuring. | |
| I'm not actually going out of business, but I got all these debtors and I got to square all these things away. | |
| And I have read about how this is a way to try to push the penalty phase of his trials back because when you file for Chapter 11, it pauses litigation against you while you square away everything with your creditors. | |
| So we have all our ducks in a row over who's going to get what slices of the pie. | |
| But the other thing I've read about this is that when you file Chapter 11, it's actually kind of the most expensive form of bankruptcy you can file. | |
| Like the amount of shit you have to do to be above board and totally cool with all of this. | |
| And to make it work, it's kind of tricky because the NRA pulled this shit like a year or so ago, where they filed Chapter 11, and they tried to dissolve themselves and create like, Not the NRA as a new entity with all their previous money. | |
| And the judge was like, fuck you, this is a scam. | |
| You don't get to declare bankruptcy. | |
| No. | |
| I declare bankruptcy! | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| That's not how this works. | |
| Right. | |
| So that happened to the NRA. | |
| So Given the sparkling track record that Alex currently has handling the legal system, I don't have high hopes that he's actually going to pull off this Chapter 11 restructuring without stepping on his dick in the most spectacular way possible. | |
| Well, and so all the Chapter 11 stuff is public as well. | |
| Several of the entities that are going to face penalties, he listed as bankrupt. | |
| And he listed all of his shell LLCs that filed for Chapter 11 as having less than $50,000 in assets. | |
| having less than $50,000 in assets. | |
| 50,000 or less. | |
| Now, I listen to Knowledge Fight, so I know on air on Monday, | |
| Alex said he had 4 million in cash. | |
| And Alex himself has not declared bankruptcy, nor has free speech. | |
| That was Alex Jones, the character. | |
| Yes, the character. | |
| Alex Jones, the character, has gobs of cash. | |
| You wouldn't believe how much cash he has. | |
| Just on hand, just like physical currency. | |
| Yeah, you're not wrong. | |
| Just so much. | |
| But Alex Jones, the actual person, is pretty much broke. | |
| Just ask his team of lawyers or whatever. | |
| But he himself, in free speech systems, which is like the big umbrella that a lot of these are under, have not declared bankruptcy. | |
| So I know a bunch of the litigation against him is paused, but yeah, they're To do this, they're going to have to they're going to dig through his life and his books, and that's part of what he's been trying to hide. | |
| So it's a bold move, Cotton. | |
| We'll see how it plays out. | |
| Right. | |
| That's the thing is like it just feels like he's just making it worse for himself with every step he's taking. | |
| It's just like he's already stepped into two bear traps and he's like, well, in order to avoid having this bear trap fully clamped down on my leg, I'm going to step into two more smaller bear traps and see how that works out for me. | |
| Oh, shit. | |
| It worked out terribly. | |
| It seems like the sort of pickle that if one were in, they might try to secure some sort of Deal against them, if I'm correct. | |
| Some sort of, perhaps, immunity, or what have you. | |
| For perhaps some cooperation, and what what. | |
| Yeah, so while Alex is dealing with all this civil bullshit on the one side, there has been statements made that he is seeking an immunity deal with the 1-6 committee to tell them what he knows about everything that went into the planning for the protests on January 6th that led to, of course, the attack on the Capitol and the attempt to destroy American democracy. | |
| It'll be very interesting to see if he actually has enough information. | |
| I've seen reports that have said that Alex is gonna have to really knock their socks off of this shit, because they've got so much dirt from so many people and so many text messages they've already had from other people that have either cooperated or they've just obtained as evidence in other cases that Whatever he's dangling for an immunity deal, it had better be pretty sweet or else it's probably not gonna work out for him, so. | |
| Yeah, I was hearing about this as well. | |
| They just have so many high-level, like, Oath Keepers and everything. | |
| It just seems baffling that they would want Immunity, like he would be able to offer them up anything that they would fucking want. | |
| It just seems like they already have it. | |
| Like you were saying, it's, it's a bold move. | |
| It's going to alienate a lot of people that he kind of wants in his corner. | |
| I really can't wait to, I mean, I haven't heard today's episode of Knowledge Fight. | |
| I have no idea if Alex has talked about it. | |
| Oh, two days ago was about him just screaming for money. | |
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| So I'm not up to date on Alex. | |
| So I'm sure that this news that he's looking for immunity is going to be just, everyone's going to be totally OK with that. | |
| Because Alex is fighting for your kids, fighting for America, fighting for God, all that happy horse shit. | |
| And now, guess what? | |
| He's trying to keep himself out of the pokey, while also trying to keep the character of Alex Jones. | |
| It's kind of perky. | |
| It's like the show Moon Knight. | |
| It makes me laugh, mostly, because every time you say that it makes me think that Alex Jones is a sovereign citizen. | |
| Where they do that shit where they're like, I'm not the individual, I am the person, or whatever. | |
| So all I'm thinking of is that's Alex Jones trying to get out of paying all of his debts to Sandy Hook. | |
| You can't sue Alex Jones the person for the things that Alex Jones the character said on Info Wars. | |
| They're two separate entities. | |
| You have to go after the character. | |
| That'd be great. | |
| I'd love for Alex to just go full split personality sob sit to try to get out of this shit. | |
| That'd be so good. | |
| That would be incredible. | |
| Have a good time, I'm Alex Jones, LLC! | |
| Man, he has a ton of LLCs, too. | |
| It's not terribly surprising, but they keep getting sanctioned because they keep sending representatives for the company that don't know anything about the company or the lawsuit, and it is baffling. | |
| Some real, like, Like 3000 IQ moves have been made by the they just think they're never going to have to pay the consequences of their actions. | |
| And now that like, now that like, they've been getting closer and closer to this cliff for like three years, and now that the car is finally going to go off the edge, It's at this moment that Alex is like, holy shit, I'm actually at the finding out phase of fucking around. | |
| It's finally going to happen. | |
| I'm going to find out and I'm not happy about it. | |
| So now I'm going to be a piss baby and beg my listeners to give money so they can pay my legal fees and not me. | |
| I mean, it's just, it's so ridiculous. | |
| I mean, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. | |
| I hope they take every penny from him. | |
| And then the doctor said, you should go next door. | |
| They're filming Info Wars. | |
| Alex Jones, the character is going to be there. | |
| He's hilarious. | |
| And then the patient says, but doctor, I am Alex Jones, the character. | |
| Be careful with that joke. | |
| It's an antique. | |
| It's like a faster, smoother to settle into version of the Aristocrats. | |
| I'm not going to bore you with a six minute of the Aristocrats. | |
| I haven't done it in a long time. | |
| Because we're already running slightly too long to do too much talk about Russia. | |
| But it is worth noting that they had some notable ass paddling over the past week. | |
| I can do a Russia roundup real quick. | |
| Oh shit, sorry, just jumping in there for the Russ round. | |
| This is real quick. | |
| Their big warship sank. | |
| They tried to say it didn't, and it did. | |
| There's a rumor on Twitter that they were keeping a piece of the true cross, like the Jesus one, on it. | |
| Well, it didn't just sink. | |
| It got taken out by Ukraine. | |
| It was sunk. | |
| Several sources are now reporting there are more Ukrainian, read, European-American tanks in Ukraine than Russian. | |
| The Russian state media posted that over 12,000 Russian soldiers had died in Ukraine and then quickly took that down. | |
| And finally, this is weird, and I don't know what it means, but people are reporting on it, two Russian gas oligarchs Both, within, I believe, a week, died, murder-suicide, killing their wife and then themselves, just within a week of each other. | |
| That happens all the time. | |
| Rich men murder-suicide. | |
| I feel like best case scenario, some sort of writing was on the wall and one of them took the plunge and then another one was just like, you know what, if it's gotten to this point, then I'm next. | |
| That's the best case scenario. | |
| Obviously, tinfoil hat worst case scenario is that people are cleaning house. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Although, did any of them fall out of windows? | |
| No, but we don't know how tall their houses were. | |
| They could have checked into a hotel. | |
| It's just weird that they both murder-suicided, killing their wives and then themselves. | |
| A lot of things are hinky. | |
| A number of so many, several Russian commanders have died in Ukraine, because get this, the Ukrainians target them. | |
| But a lot of what stalled the initial invasion was the massive corruption of the Russian army and the commanders selling off their fuel on the side. | |
| And why a lot of the vehicles were breaking down. | |
| So Did those oligarchs have any involvement in that? | |
| Who knows? | |
| Probably not. | |
| They were probably cutting other deals on the side. | |
| Putin grasping a table might be because he's realizing how fucking shit everything has gone for him. | |
| He reportedly, during Gaddafi's downfall, he watched the people dragging Gaddafi out and stabbing him in the ass and killing him. | |
| He watched that video constantly. | |
| So, if we know something about Putin, he knows what he is and is very afraid of getting Gaddafied. | |
| I don't think any of us want to get knifed in the ass. | |
| Or maybe he was just very anti-Gaddafi. | |
| That's why he watched it over and over and over again. | |
| Like some sort of bizarre sadist person. | |
| So that's Starges, Lightning Round, Russia Roundup. | |
| I don't think I missed anything. | |
| Jump in if I did. | |
| I mean like people are predicting that Victory Day or whatever is going to be like where things are going to come to a head or things will come to a head by then with like Russia's current movement of troops. | |
| Avoiding the larger, more populous areas and striking targets around to surround them. | |
| Mike's reported on it earlier on this podcast, and I've seen economists talk about June is a big, big date. | |
| Like, Russia's economy is in the absolute toilet, and they will start to run out of reserves in June. | |
| It's a very big tipping point. | |
| And then Mike talked about previously, the Russian military works on contracts and their contracts start coming up in June. | |
| So a lot of guys can just not defect and just be like, well, my contract's up. | |
| Not going to re-up. | |
| I have that right, right, Mike? | |
| Yes, you do. | |
| You have it right. | |
| So June is like the thing to look for. | |
| There's constant atrocities keep getting reported from Ukraine. | |
| Gogo Bordello teamed up with another musician to write The Man with the Iron Balls because Gogo Bordello is Ukrainian and they're writing a tribute song about Zelensky. | |
| OK. | |
| Is Zelensky irradiating his balls? | |
| Maybe. | |
| I think Tucker likes it. | |
| Do you have to if they're already metal? | |
| I don't think so. | |
| It protects him from the radiation. | |
| He can't radiate them. | |
| Well, only if they're lead, right? | |
| He has a stand. | |
| It's called Kodachrome. | |
| That's a reference for, like, three of you. | |
| Yikes. | |
| Oh, well, I was going to give Sarge credit for a good thing to go out on, bringing up the Google Wardello thing, and then we somehow loot back around to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. | |
| Yeah! | |
| That's my third JoJo reference. | |
| So, no deal. | |
| No deal. | |
| Two thumbs down. | |
| Bad segment. | |
| Everybody go home. | |
| Boo this man! | |
| No, we still have unfinished business. | |
| We can't leave Hellworld yet. | |
| We need to get to our listener mailbag for the week. | |
| Our listeners got questions. | |
| We got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. | |
| They better be good. | |
| I insist. | |
| Yes. | |
| Well, Cleodor Silvestri says, NFT is our pyramid scheme. | |
| Asks, imagine for a moment that Trump never ran for president and QAnon stuck to disproving the moon landing. | |
| How are your lives different as a result? | |
| I read a lot more moon landing books. | |
| That's for one. | |
| The one I'm still in is fucking miserable. | |
| So that sounds like true hell world, but maybe better than what we're in now. | |
| Um, yeah, I'm probably just doing what I was doing before where I'm just monitoring kook Illuminati shit on the internet. | |
| And it's just not that mainstream. | |
| So it never gets to the point where I'm like, fuck, I gotta make a Twitter account and start talking about this shit. | |
| Because it's getting really bad out there. | |
| So yeah, I'm just I'm a slightly more boring version of myself. | |
| And I'm assuming that at some point I would have linked up with Sarge for some sort of podcast endeavor eventually, once I moved physically very far away from him. | |
| It just seemed like the sort of thing that we would have naturally fallen into. | |
| Who knows what that would be, though? | |
| Because, like, currently we do binge-worthy, but who knows if it would be the same format. | |
| I actually had a really good idea for a weeb podcast, which is unfortunate because I just don't have any more time in my life for new podcasts. | |
| No, I mean, we barely have time for the two we do. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So thank you for the question. | |
| Pancake Peasant asks, do the Hellworld heroes have sidekicks? | |
| If not, please describe your ideal sidekick. | |
| I mean, I have two cats and a dog. | |
| I guess that's the closest thing to sidekicks you can get. | |
| I have a hairless cat named Creature, and a calico named Stormy, and then a dog you routinely hear barking named Penny. | |
| So, Penny. | |
| Those are my sidekicks. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I don't know why, but I felt like Creature was such a powerful name, and then Penny just wasn't, didn't, it wasn't as hard, it wasn't as fast a fastball as I thought it was going to be. | |
| I mean, Creature is like a weird animal and Penny is just like a regular dog. | |
| Yeah, I can see that. | |
| It's fitting. | |
| I'm not saying it doesn't fit. | |
| I'm just saying that the power level was off. | |
| Who are you to judge? | |
| What about your sidekick, mate? | |
| My sidekick? | |
| I don't even know who my sidekick would be. | |
| I don't know. Let me let me jump in there give you some time to think about it because for me | |
| my sidekick uh since I guess I guess it doesn't fall upon me to be omnipotent. | |
| My sidekick is like effectively omnipotent, but they're just my subordinate for whatever reason, like a mob psycho situation. | |
| I want a mob. | |
| I want to be like the charismatic guy who's like tricked to this rube who is omnipotent to just do whatever I want. | |
| Excuse me, sir. | |
| That's an anime. | |
| And you stated explicitly at the top of this podcast that you've never watched one of those. | |
| I was talking about the manga, sir. | |
| I said good day, sir! | |
| I never watched an anime in my life. | |
| Sight's anime. | |
| I don't know, what did your Google search turn up? | |
| Is there a Mob Psycho manga? | |
| I saw you getting pretty hot out of the keys there, man. | |
| I'm calling you out! | |
| I'm calling you out in front of God and everybody! | |
| Yeah, I don't know that I have a particular sidekick. | |
| I think my real-life sidekick, that is not one of my friends on the podcast here, would be my buddy who's still out in Las Vegas just living that poker life. | |
| To that gent, just keep on doing that thing. | |
| And I think they would probably be confused to being called my sidekick. | |
| But hey, them's the breaks. | |
| I have a podcast that you don't. | |
| That person's living that poker dream. | |
| So to that person, I say, how was 2010, mate? | |
| Is it still You have no idea what's coming, so you just stay right there, friend. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Pat them on their little adorable head and then tell my omnipotent sidekick that I'm done time-traveling. | |
| Never turn me to the present time so that I can continue to answer questions for my podcast. | |
| So the next question you're going to be answering is, Bobby Ellis asks, I need money. | |
| What's the hot new grift I should get into from the Q crowd? | |
| Uh, being aggressively anti-woke and being a massive bigot, whatever you can do for those things will definitely reap you an audience. | |
| And if you can tie it into some pro-Russia bullshit, oh man, chef's kiss. | |
| You are probably a millionaire. | |
| I mean, the devolution Trump is still technically secretly the | |
| president, that guy was the latest grifter to hit it big. | |
| So if you can find that kind of like weapons grade hopium that | |
| also taps into their seething hatred of all non white Christians, just make up numbers, make up numbers. Yeah, | |
| negative. I don't know that I mean, negative 48 had a kind of | |
| like unsustainable grift because it's just a tiny group of people in real life that are giving him money. | |
| So like that doesn't have legs. | |
| The idiot who's doing the holes, Trump is still secretly the president. | |
| That guy is making bank probably forever. | |
| So it depends on how sustainable you want your grift to be. | |
| Guys, I'm gonna need you... You know those clips that clip old man socks to old man underwear? | |
| I'm gonna need you to clip those on right now before I blow your socks and underwear off with my idea. | |
| QFTs. | |
| We know the guy who's responsible for the forums where they're posted. | |
| He doesn't even have to claim to be Q. He just owns where they're from. | |
| He can say that he's in touch with Q, and Q gives it his blessing, because he's not Q. Wink, wink, wink. | |
| And so then he just starts selling off Q drops as NFTs, baby. | |
| Blockchain Q. | |
| It's there. | |
| A ton of Qs are like QAnons or Crypto Bros, right? | |
| There has to be some overlap there. | |
| There's a little, but not as much as you'd think. | |
| Would it be worth selling our soul to the devil? | |
| We need to just sell this idea outright. | |
| to our friend Wagyu Cowboy and uh you know uh Ron Watkins actually I looked it up Ron Watkins | |
| actually did sell some uh Trump tweets as NFTs so Ron Watkins did do go down this road yeah | |
| did he do it with QDrops though uh I didn't I don't I don't think he did I'm saying we got | |
| I'm saying we know who our consumer is. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| We just need to create a product that the consumer requires. | |
| So why just be a part of Q when you could own a part of Q? | |
| I have no moral objection to doing this. | |
| I absolutely think we should. | |
| Just fleece. | |
| If we weren't fleecing people already fleeced, just making Get fucking NFTAs out of the Qdrops? | |
| Oh, it's free money. | |
| It's just free money. | |
| It's right there. | |
| I feel like I deserve donations for simply not executing on this idea. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh my gosh. | |
| It's just free money. | |
| So powerful and evil it is. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Imagine me in heaven. | |
| Conspiracy nonsense and cryptocurrency. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| So Reverend Xenofact asks, let's be positive. | |
| Six months from now, Ukraine destroys Russia's army. | |
| Putin dies of natural causes, backing into a knife 16 times. | |
| Russia has no economy and accepts arms restrictions. | |
| Dems make slight gains in the 2022 midterms due to Republican idiocy. | |
| How would QAnon spin this? | |
| I think they would just be biblical end times kind of shit. | |
| The deep state's just crushing us, they're kicking our asses, we gotta cling even tighter to God and just wait for him to step in and save the day and all that kind of shit. | |
| I feel like that would start backing them into enough of a corridor where they start looking for an actual Messiah. | |
| I feel like if you back them into a quarter enough with just general liberal gaining, then at some point they're going to start looking to lift up somebody more firm within. | |
| They cling to Trump, but I don't really see, for the most part, even with all the rhetoric, Trump as an actual messiah for them. | |
| I don't get the sense that any of them would die for the guy. | |
| But I feel like if you back them into enough of a quarter pretty soon, there's just going One person among them with a modicum of charisma, willing to use it for evil, they could just be like, hey guys, I'm the Messiah. | |
| And they're gonna be like, you know what? | |
| We're pretty sure that you're right about that. | |
| I mean, you gotta life a bribe in it. | |
| You have to say, I'm not the Messiah, and then get them to think for themselves that you're the Messiah. | |
| Oh yeah, only the Messiah would deny himself, of course. | |
| It's gotta be that way, yeah. | |
| Yeah, they could just be like, you know, when this guy speaks or posts on a forum for pedophiles, he really seems like he could be Q. And then other people are just like, yeah. | |
| And then they're just like, are you Q? | |
| And he's like, of course not. | |
| Well, that's foolish. | |
| How could it possibly be Q? | |
| Q died a long time ago. | |
| Yeah, never heard of the guy. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| They're kind of doing that shit with TruthSocialQ. | |
| Even though TruthSocialQ was like, guys, I'm not really Q. Calm down. | |
| I forgot about that. | |
| He has to keep denying it. | |
| They just keep pretending that he's really their daddy. | |
| They're just not going to let it go. | |
| They're writing this TruthSocialQ shit so hard. | |
| That site will be dead. | |
| The platform will collapse, and they'll still just be like, remember TruthSocialQ where that was totally real Q? | |
| So good. | |
| Oh, it was so great when that happened. | |
| Now, see, the thing is, Q itself... We're about to go big brain here, guys. | |
| We're going down the rabbit hole. | |
| This is the treat for the listeners who have somehow made it this far. | |
| If you look at the letter Q, its shape is also like a bomb. | |
| My conspiracy theory is that Q itself was a liberal ploy to get in there and destroy conservative free speech spaces. | |
| It's simply by being on a platform like Truth, it was inevitably going to collapse, because the bomb was in there already. | |
| See the Q? | |
| The bomb. | |
| I thought you said bong, and I was like, oh, 420 plays it. | |
| Yes, and then we did dank rips of a fat bongaroo. | |
| So you guys look at look at look at the look at what look at what being a listener to how | |
| You get a fresh new conspiracy theory hot off the presses from me. | |
| You also get enjoyable evil plans of forgriffting also from me. | |
| I just can't stop giving. | |
| No. | |
| If one of you uses our idea for QFTs, just cut us a slice. | |
| Just join the Patreon. | |
| Make your name. | |
| NFTs rock. | |
| Just fund us. | |
| We just want to go full-time. | |
| Yes. | |
| We really hope you can do this for us. | |
| We cannot wait to sell it to the crypto overlords. | |
| Absolutely not. | |
| So Porco Rossellini asks, why is poker so cool? | |
| I don't know that I really am. | |
| Wow, fucking conceited Russian. | |
| Maybe they meant to the game. | |
| Poker's mom, get out of here. | |
| Maybe they meant literally the game of poker. | |
| They could have. | |
| Mike, did you write this question? | |
| For each short this week? | |
| God, I wish. | |
| I mean, that would have been awesome. | |
| I actually, I know this person. | |
| We play Secret Hitler a lot online. | |
| They're not my mom. | |
| So, yes. | |
| Thank you for attempting to out me, putting my own questions into the mailbag to inflate my already swollen ego. | |
| But I did not do such a thing. | |
| I mean, but did we ever truly answer the question of, is poker cool? | |
| Well, the question was, why am I cool? | |
| So my coolness was pretty exposed. | |
| Oh, yeah, sorry. | |
| Why are you cool? | |
| So you being cool is a given. | |
| I mean, I can do it. | |
| Yes. | |
| But why? | |
| Why are you cool? | |
| I think it's because you have actual mutant powers, like an X-Man. | |
| I think that you have the X factor in your genes, and that is why you have extraordinary abilities. | |
| Uh, that was entirely worth it for Sarge's aggressive head-shaking and disgust, so I approve of that very much. | |
| Hey, if he wants to head-shake at anybody, it could be the original creative team at the X-Men. | |
| You go back and you read what they thought the X-Gene meant. | |
| Guess what? | |
| Pretty sure it was the extraordinary abilities in your blood. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| So, that brings us to the question of numerous for the week, and that is, what are you looking forward to? | |
| It's a thing I've already received. | |
| It is Orville Peck's new album, Bronco, is out. | |
| I believe it came out just a couple weeks ago. | |
| It is amazing. | |
| It is his sophomore album, follow-up to Pony, and I think it is a lot better than Pony. | |
| It is Much more energetic. | |
| I know, like, country, rock, crooning isn't everyone's bag, but man, if you have any inkling where you think you might like that, check out Bronco. | |
| It is an amazing album. | |
| There you go. | |
| Strong endorsement. | |
| I myself have a birthday party to attend on Sunday, which I'm pretty excited about. | |
| I will be doing some axe throwing, which I have not done either ever or not for many, many years. | |
| A long time ago at a Renaissance Festival. | |
| I honestly can't remember. | |
| I know it was available. | |
| I just don't know if I ever partook. | |
| I actually used to teach hatchet throwing at Boy Scout camp. | |
| Wow. | |
| I mean, the beginning of that sounded like a brag, and then the end of it, now I'm not so sure. | |
| I'm very rusty. | |
| I haven't done it in years. | |
| Like, I'm not sure if I've ever done it. | |
| I'm not, like, afraid or anything. | |
| I'm just sure that I will be most bad at it until I pick up the knack. | |
| And with, like, a lot of simple things, there's a chance I just will never pick up the knack and I will just forever be banished to being fucking awful at it. | |
| It'll be great. | |
| I'm looking forward to more basketball that I get to watch this weekend. | |
| The Celtics going for a 3-0 lead over the Nets. | |
| Fuck the Nets! | |
| And also, I have another episode of Taskmaster to watch after this podcast, which is awesome because Taskmaster is the best. | |
| Did the new season start? | |
| Yeah, episode 1 was last week and episode 2 just came out yesterday. | |
| That's great. | |
| Maybe that dumbfuck Alex Horne will get on the phone with Amazon and allow me to purchase Season 12 so I can finish it. | |
| Because at some point, people realized that Taskmaster was just being uploaded for free on YouTube and they were just like, that cannot stand. | |
| We would like to charge people a monthly fee to watch Taskmaster, please. | |
| And such is the way of the capitalist lifestyle that we've chosen for ourselves. | |
| We all love capitalism. | |
| So if you are a crypto bro, and you've got some in-routes to some big non-fungible company that wants to sell us out to Moloch even harder, please get in touch. | |
| We love Moloch. | |
| But we're all broke now, so it's time for us to all pile into a single cab and get the hell out of Hellworld for the week. | |
| Thank you, everybody, for listening. | |
| You can support our little show for free by telling a friend or leaving a five-star review wherever your podcasts are provided. | |
| If you happen to have a little bit of money and you'd like to donate it to the show, you can do so by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics. | |
| Anyone who donates $5 or more a month gets access to over 40 hours of bonus content, including Kabbalen, what we do out of Shadows, and an assortment of other miscellaneous series that we do there. | |
| We tend to don't really do a lot of one-offs. | |
| We like to do little series at best so people can get invested in something. | |
| Uh, if you have money and you don't want to give it to three assholes like us, that's cool. | |
| We totally understand. | |
| You can do some good with it by donating it to love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation. | |
| Or you can donate wherever you feel to support Ukraine and their repelling of the Russian menace. | |
| Because welcome to the 80s, y'all. | |
| It's back. | |
| Welcome to the 80s, y'all. | |
| The Russians are back. | |
| What have you been watching? | |
| 80s movies. | |
| I mean, you know it. | |
| You're part of the podcast. | |
| We watched Roadhouse the other day. | |
| Yeah, fair enough. | |
| I watched a Caucasian man do some karate and rip a dude's throat out. | |
| Don't you tell me it's not the 80s. | |
| Thanks as always to our buddy DJ Minimal Effort for use of our intro song. | |
| He doesn't have social media and fuck him, but we love him, so don't fuck him. | |
| Yeah, I figured I'd mix it up and fuck him. | |
| No, we love him, but you just can't, you can't thank him. | |
| I have to thank him. | |
| I'm thanking him like into the void every week just to make my guilt go away for a little while. | |
| You know who you can find on social media, though, is our buddy Frosty, who does all of our voiceover work for our Bumps and Such, Content Warning, all that good jazz. | |
| You can find him on Twitter, at FrostyDio. | |
| I think that guy's pretty rad. | |
| Yeah, he's okay. | |
| But also, fuck him. | |
| If you'd like to listen to some more of this wonderful me and Sarge banter, you can do so by visiting us at Binge Wordy. | |
| That's a podcast where we discuss pop media, mostly movies and TV shows, but very rarely comics or video games. | |
| And you can find us on social media at Binge Wordy. | |
| So we've had another successful, with a question mark and a shoulder shrug, episode of the Adventures of Hellworld Podcast. | |
| I have been Hellworld Al, joined as always by our good friend Hellworld Sarge and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains. |