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April 15, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:33:05
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #82: Musk "buys" Twitter, Trump says dumb stuff

Will Elon Musk buy Twitter and give Trump and QAnon their accounts back? How does QAnon handle Trump endorsing Dr. Oz and calling the war in Ukraine a genocide? All this and MTG trashing the military. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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♪♪♪ ♪♪♪
♪♪♪ I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
PokerinPolitics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, with Sarge.
Hello from me being the Beastmaster.
All my pets are demanding attention all at once.
And the mysterious L. It's my triumphant return, my beautiful babies!
I'm back!
You missed me and Mike Rains talking about Babylon 5 and Venture Brothers, and I don't remember what else.
Oh my god, did you guys finally bust out Babylon 5-5?
We did!
Yeah.
We returned it!
It was a closer.
Yeah, like ancient payoffs, or payoffs to ancient jokes, finally.
For the deep cuts for only the oldest of listeners.
Or people who have read my back catalog, which would be like, just the idea of which would boggle my mind, could you imagine?
And then we secretly teased talking about Mantis.
And El, what does Mantis stand for?
I believe it's Mechanically Augmented Neurotransmitter Interception System?
We didn't talk about Mantis.
I just wanted to put you on the spot to remember what it was.
Yeah, I know that that's fairly close, if not completely accurate.
I don't know why.
Acronyms just stick like glue in my brain.
But even that is an old one.
I read that once in a TV guide.
It's a very old-fashioned sentence.
Definitely.
That got like a TV movie and maybe a season.
I remember, maybe it's time for the grim and gritty reboot of Mantis.
Didn't they try to reboot Ironsides or whatever?
The non-sci-fi version of that?
Just like a detective in a wheelchair?
What are you talking about?
Yeah, there was an old show called Ironsides, right?
And it was about a detective in a wheelchair, and they tried to reboot it, like, semi-recently, if I recall.
Hold on, typing.
Yeah, absolutely they did.
Yeah, there was a new Ironsides.
And then Mantis, if I recall, Mantis was just sort of like that, but with a sci-fi bent.
It turned into Iron Man, because he was just like, you know what?
I have a huge brain and I'm rich, but I'm in this wheelchair, so I'm going to be in an Iron Man suit.
It's like a fun crime.
1967 crime drama.
A hundred and ninety-nine episodes?
Holy shit, what?
You can tell that Elle is back on the episode because we are already just deep in the weeds talking about pop culture nonsense.
Literally nothing about QAnon at all so far.
A hundred and ninety-nine episodes, holy shit.
Shit, I've never heard of this show in my life.
We're like, I love 1488 episodes, am I right?
Cue!
Dramatria!
Numbers mean words and words mean conspiracies.
They're all racist.
It's just racism.
2013 remake.
A short-lived remake with the same name.
Blair Underwood.
Yeah, everybody remembers Blair Underwood's version of Ironsides, obviously.
It's such a hot and fresh memory in everyone's minds, it's a wonder we're talking about it at all.
It aired four episodes and nine were made.
Wow.
It must have been great.
Real humdinger.
Sorry, I keep trying to get us away from this.
You keep trying to suck us back into it like that fuckin' swamp from The NeverEnding Story.
You did this!
You did this!
I started it and I've given you two outs and you've taken neither of them.
No, it's way too interesting.
Yeah, I saw the exit.
So this is it.
This is what we're talking about now.
This is the Iron Sides podcast.
Where can I stream it?
Probably Tubi or whatever.
Iron Sidings is, uh...
Talk about iron sights.
No, okay, so what's going on in the world, Mike?
Okay, well, do we want to start off with the Trump bump for Kid Rock, or do you want me to spin you a tale of the latest in the world of the Grifter Wars?
Oh, either way, it sounds like it's time for our juiciest, newest, freshest segment, the amuse-bouche.
This is our lighter, fluffier nonsense for the week.
I kind of want to hear about Kid Rock first, because the Grifter Wars is just like, you're going to say a bunch of words of people at me that I still don't know, but I probably should.
You're like, look at this Joanne said a dumb thing about this fucking ghost desert or whatever
derp and I'm gonna be like yeah I can't keep any of these chumps together in my mind. They're all
just the same goon. Oh I know my eyes just my eyes and my brain just glaze over the second we talk
about like Patriot Dad Joanne and she's like... Oh, praying medic?
That's one of them.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They're like pogs in there.
You could technically collect information about them, but they're useless.
Like the slammer.
Get it?
Look at that dad joke.
Speaking of dad, speaking of dad jokes, I want to hear about Kid Rock or as I've cleverly written in our headlines, Adult Rock.
What would us, a QAnon podcast, possibly be talking about Kid Rock?
Because Trump now opens his concerts with a video package where he talks about how he hopes everyone's having a good time at the Kid Rock concert tonight, and he's amazing, and you're all great for being here, because you're hard-working, God-fearing, rock and roll patriots.
And Trump ends by saying, let's make America rock again.
And I'm here to tell Trump this was wasted effort.
He already had these votes.
If he runs again, these are not votes he needed to court.
He already had them.
And Kid Rock already had these fans.
Yeah, so this is like the equivalent.
I don't know if you guys have been to a cinema recently.
Specifically, I believe the AMC cinema.
Yeah, I have.
And in front of them now, there's this incredibly preachy and terrible Nicole Kidman.
Oh, God, it's so long.
She's talking about how the movies are magical, man, like nothing can beat the cinematic experience.
And it's just like, Nicole Kidman, you're telling me this information.
While you have me as a captive audience because I'm already in a movie theater to watch a movie.
So shut up.
Also, Nicole Kidman, wasn't your most recent product a TV miniseries on HBO, which is not a movie?
Look, look, look.
I mean, you know, the magic of the cinema.
Like it's very, it's very important.
And thank you.
Thank you for participating.
So like.
Kid Rock and Donald Trump, I mean, I guess they go together like peanut butter and jelly, but it feels like all the people in the audience already have enough of both of those things.
They're just like covered in Uncrustables.
Oh dear God.
Yeah, go ahead.
No, I just say it's all been downhill since JC died.
His small person sidekick that he had.
Oh, I thought you meant Jesus Christ, and I totally agreed with you.
This is like, yeah, man, ever since Christ died, life has been really rough.
Yeah, yeah.
Which is why we're celebrating when he came back in a few days.
Yes.
I know I've got my rabbits and eggs and other pagan fertility symbols to celebrate the rising of our Lord.
Absolutely.
I've eaten so many chocolate fertility symbols.
I've eaten just a bunch of regular ones, just like Rocky.
I'm getting ready for a day of being hyperfertile.
I know, I say this all the time, this is the thing I say most about Al, is he reminds me of Rocky.
Like, when people ask me, like, say, describe Al, I'm like, Rocky.
Yeah.
Fierce willpower.
Heart of a champion.
Butt body of a pink Sylvester Stallone.
Wears sweats a lot.
Loves running up stairs.
Loves.
Running.
Up.
Stairs.
Cause I just love stairs in general.
I can't get enough of them.
Yeah, stairs.
Just stairs.
They're good.
I am now imagining the Photoshop of Trump's head on Rocky's body now being Elle's head on Rocky's body.
And us just running with it.
Just my head on top of Trump's head.
Like we're building some sort of incredible totem pole.
Now, Elle has promised that when we become podcast millionaires, We will do the Hunter Biden penis cast, and he will get me a robot butler.
So, like, that's in the contract.
That's like our contract.
It's like actually pretty easy these days, I'm sure.
Yeah, robot butler.
Yeah, I know.
It's not as dumb and as impressive as it was.
It'll just be like a Roomba with like a small table on it that came for you champagne or whatever.
And I want it wearing a bowtie.
I just want it wearing a bowtie, and I want it to have a monocle.
I just want it to be a jaunty robot butler.
Oh, it's going to be covered in bowties and monocles.
You're not even going to be able to see the robot.
So let me poll the audience here.
Who would Trump recording an opening for Would that actually be news?
Because him opening for Kid Rock for the last several years is not news.
It's not surprising at all.
Also just unnecessary, like I said.
But what would actually be surprising?
JFK Jr., because he's famously been dead for several years.
That would be awesome if Trump actually, if there was actually like a JFK Jr.
like return event and Trump recorded an opening for it.
Yeah, that would have been great if like negative 48 and all those nuts were on Daily Plaza hanging out in the grassy knoll.
And then suddenly, like, a video wall just, like, sprang to life, and Trump was there, and he's like, hey, all you negative 48 people, just so you know, like, JFK Jr.' 's about to come out, and it's gonna be the best celebration ever, the biggest JFK Jr.
return of all time.
It's gonna be incredible.
Many people are saying it.
That would've been cool.
I would've been definitely a big fan of that.
I was gonna say the Dixie Chicks, because their career has been dead for several years.
Aren't they just the chicks now?
They wanted to get away from Dixie because Dixie's bad?
I can't tell if that's a joke or not.
I do not know.
Honestly, I think that might be a real thing.
I think it's real too.
I believe that they're getting rid of the Dixie because it's sort of the same way that Lady Antebellum was just like, yeah, probably not so much with that anymore for reasons.
You could appeal to the South, but you can't, you know, be like, Confederate-style into the South, at least not in your name.
Yep, I just googled the Dixie Chicks and it comes back to me, The Chicks.
The Chicks.
Oh, wow.
The Chicks.
Yeah, so they're finally starting to distance themselves from racism, but the, you know, just sort of like baked in misogyny of the name is fine.
It's going to take a while.
Give it 20 more years.
Pretty soon they'll just be The.
It'll be great.
Rejecting the misogyny and racism of their name, they're now the.
That would be incredible.
So, before we move on, do we have any of the actual quotes aside from make America rock
again from this Donald Trump intro video to Kid Rock?
I actually went through the...
Yeah, I did.
Because that was everything that I said there and previously was.
Those weren't jokes.
That was actual quote.
Just actual boilerplate nonsense.
Yep.
Just the whole hard-working, God-fearing rock and roll patriots.
Yep.
All of that.
Just Trump giving the most boring... What does it say that I thought that that was you just riffing in a generically stupid Trump-style patriotic way?
I literally thought that was you doing a bit.
I didn't know that was quoted.
He has to read off the script.
Trump cannot go off script, or then it's just... Yeah, who knows how many terrible bants he's reading off of cue cards for?
Yeah.
I hear Weezer got real racist.
Hey, I'm very glad to see all of you fans of, reads cue card, Elvis Costello here in the audience tonight.
It is time for us to make America rock again.
That would be another really funny one to have a Trump endorsement would be Elvis Costello.
Swing is back, back again, and it's Eagle Eye Cherry.
It's us.
Do you remember us, Eagle Eye Cherry?
Are you confusing Eagle Eye Cherry and the Cherry Poppin' Daddies?
I am.
I am.
You're confusing the artist behind Save Tonight with the Cherry Poppin' Daddies.
Alright, this podcast has already been a failure.
Let's wrap this one up.
Start from the top, boys!
We're gonna take a little break now and then we're gonna start the show over again.
A manager at the computer store I worked at years ago had a framed shadow box from his Kid Rock cruise that he went on every year.
He went on the Kid Rock cruise whenever he could get a chance and he had a shadow box of his tickets and I like commemorating His tie about the Kid Rock cruise, and every time I hear Kid Rock, that's all I can think of that guy.
He was a hardcore Kid Rock fan, and miserable to work with.
I'm just imagining that cruise during the pandemic, and my god, that is the Ship of the Dead!
I mean, that's a horror movie!
Yeah, that's probably what he sorted himself out.
Oh my, wow!
I mean, that...
Holy smokes, like, I'm already, like, I'm already, like, literally writing up, like, the treatment for that movie.
Like, just, like, the disinterested girlfriend who only goes because her boyfriend's, like, way into Kid Rock.
They're on the cruise, and then, like, two days in, like, everyone starts coughing and not being able to taste anything, and it's just, just nothing.
Just absolute carnage.
That'd be, that'd be super.
I can't picture the Kid Rock booze cruise without, Picturing some leathery woman in her early 40s with a Tweety Bird lower back tattoo.
Yeah, five pack a day voice.
That's just the immediate grim truth of what conjured in my brain with the words Kid Rocket Cruise got put together.
It's like her with like a yard of beer like almost falling to her death from the railing of this rickety cruise.
Kidrock is there live via satellite.
Anyway, I guess while we're talking about clowns, let's get into the latest edition of Grifter Wars and talk about some Q infighting.
What's going on in the world of Q infighting, Mike Rains?
So there is a new hot documentary that I'm going to probably be dropping up and making clips of for our bonus content called Watch the Water.
And this quote unquote documentary It's absolutely totally insane.
It stars Stu Peters, who is like a dime store version of Alex Jones and Glenn Beck and every other like just shithead neophyte trying to make a buck off this stuff.
And Stu is interviewing a chiropractor whose name I absolutely cannot remember.
Why is it always a chiropractor?
Because they get to call themselves doctors when they're not really doctors.
And the basis of this quote-unquote documentary is that COVID was caused by snake venom.
And that... You're gonna have to... I'm gonna need some expanding on that.
I don't really have it.
I have yet to begin watching the documentary.
You're bringing this to the table without knowing any more beyond do they think that COVID was snake venom?
Did you think that we would just have no follow-ups?
I thought that that would just be so unbelievably mind-blowingly stupid that you wouldn't have any way to actually process it.
it and... Unknowingly obvious when you think about it.
And so yeah, the, and also it's in the vaccines. So the snake venom is in the vaccines or the
virus derived from the snake venom?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
But I mean, in terms of conspiracy theories, who cares?
Because wouldn't the end goal for that just be to kill us?
It's not like snakes have mind control venom, or- Or do they?
Or do they?
What did you do on the Hypno Toad planet?
It turns out that COVID was made for the snake venom from that special snake that when it bites you, it turns your gender from a binary thing to a spectrum.
That is what conservatives fear the most right now.
Oh, the gay snake.
Yes.
No, it's worth a gay.
It changes your whole gender all up.
It makes boys think they're girls and such.
And then they're going to try to do sports, those monsters.
So, Artis, the chiropractor who's pitching this snake venom, satanic shit, shockingly is selling a pill system of supplements that will help cure you of the snake venom and make you healthy and a good normal human again.
Wow, so earlier in the day I asked you, Mike Rains, if you thought that anyone was selling literal snake oil.
And we came to the conclusion that the answer was probably, but if not, we should start doing that.
And it turns out that yes.
This guy is trying to drum up a conspiracy theory saying that COVID is caused by snake venom so that he can sell you pills filled with, you guessed it, snake oil to cure your snake venom woes.
I need some right now.
I've been feeling under the weather and I'm especially susceptible to snake venom.
Doesn't that just make this guy, like, the greatest hero of capitalism to ever exist?
Isn't this guy, like, what all Americans should aspire to be?
Yeah.
It's the most capitalist thing I've ever heard in my life.
John G. Grifter.
Yeah, you just invent a problem, and then you sell the cure for that problem.
So good.
So juicy.
Well, for the first time ever, I'm excited to get into one of these dumb, like, conspiracy-riddled ramble-fests, because I need to know how the snake venom works.
Oh, there are- You're gonna want to know what you're treating when you take the pill.
Yes.
Yeah, I have questions.
Yeah, there's a very awesome thumbnail of one of the videos that Stu Peters has out, and it's got like a snake with like a vial in front of it with like confidential.
And it's like, do we even know what's in the vaccine?
It's like, oh, it's, it could be anything.
It could even be snake venom.
It's like those ancient alien shows where they never claim that anyone is really an expert.
They'll just make some sort of outlandish claim.
Like, you know, COVID-19 is really made of snake venom?
Some people theorize yes, and then they'll just cut to a guy talking like he's an authority.
Yeah, snake venom is definitely in the vaccines.
I've been around snakes, and I've been around people who've had vaccines, and they could be in the same ballpark.
That's a thing that could happen.
Yeah, I mean, it's really hilarious.
front of this camera talk about this like you're an expert.
Yeah, I think venom is definitely in the vaccines. I've been I've been around snakes. And I've been around people
who've had vaccines and they could be in the same ballpark.
That's a thing that could happen. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's really hilarious. So we the media, quote unquote, serious
q&a on as I like to mockingly call them are furious about this
documentary because again, much like the JFK Jr.
crew, they think this quote-unquote makes them look bad.
That we have a guy screaming and yelling about snake venom.
And we already know that the Fauci murder, clot shot, heart attack in a vial, blah, blah, blah.
We already know it's bad and terrible.
We don't need to know that it's full of snake venom, because that's dumb and stupid.
It makes us, the incredibly intelligent wrinkle brains of QAnon, look bad by comparison.
It's not wrong, like I said.
We never think about you at all.
Like, who cares what COVID is made out of?
If you're a big conspiracy theorist, it's just like it's made out of dangerous shit that will kill you.
Like, the conspiracy is only juicy if it's made out of, like, mind control serum or something magnetic, like, something that's sexy, spicy.
Not just like, hey, COVID's made out of this thing that killed you.
And it's just like, well, yeah, COVID killed a bunch of people, so obviously.
Like, the truth is that COVID is made of something that will kill you.
It's just COVID.
Yeah.
It's so ridiculously lame.
And the people who are very angry about this are also pointing out the fact that the chiropractor is selling these pills at a sale price of only $109 when you buy the entire... Save 10% when you buy the entire anti-V collection from Artist Labs.
That's right, boys.
The QAnon finally got you a pill to ward off the V.
Don't worry, guys.
You'll have to... Whereas before, the V was a real problem for you.
Now, you, baseball-dwelling QAnon idiot, will no longer have to worry about having so much V in your life.
I mean, for that same price, you can get one month of Thomas R.E.
Brady Jr., greatest quarterback alive.
You get one month of his protein powder.
Same price.
One month of the TB12.
Thomas Reginald Elaine Brady Jr.
You can get one month of that powder.
I mean, well, that's a that's a that's a bargain at any price as long as it's made out of real Tom Brady.
Yeah.
That's what I imagined.
Like, I mean, if it's if it's Tom Brady protein power, what else could be in it?
The revelation that I got from that is that Tom Brady has four names.
He's one of those people of the fucking four name shit going on.
Yes.
Oh my gosh!
I had no idea.
I'm going to let you Google that and it will 100% be true.
His middle two names is The Goat.
Oh!
Nah, I'm just gonna take your word for it.
I mean, I just enjoy the fact that our president's middle name is Robinette.
I mean, that is hilarious.
It's new to me.
I wish QAnon and all the other right-wing conspiracy theorists would, like, throw that around the way they throw around Hussein for Obama.
They'd be like, what's Robinette up to this week?
It is a quest to destroy America.
I think that would make Biden sound more sinister.
Wait, fire Robinette into your most powerful Yamatria machines and come back to me with a number.
Oh, that's going to happen sooner or later.
Maybe it'll happen after we play the content warning and the bump for the news.
Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News!
I love how, since we can't help ourselves and the Amuse Bouche segment just goes crazy long every week now, that the content warning is just sort of like, oh, you've already listened to 20 minutes of total nonsense and now there's a chance that it's gonna get even worse.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just like, it's like, it's a darkness filter.
It's just the indicator that things were bad and now they're spiraling out of control and they get that much worse.
I mean, look, I love getting into these amuse-bouche as much as the next person, but I think we probably should, if we're going to be talking amuse-bouche for 20 minutes every week, we probably need to just put the content warning up at the very beginning of the show.
Fair enough, fair enough.
Unless we need to make some sort of uncouth joke about adult rock.
Yes.
Speaking of saying offensive shit, let's get to our first news item of the week, which is to say Marjorie Taylor Greene, the queen of saying stupid and offensive shit, this time is apparently taking it to a not juicy target in the eyes of QAnon, the United States military.
Yeah, they run hot and cold on whether they like the military or not.
I feel like it's sort of like baked into them that for the most part they're supposed to be huge fans of the military, right?
Because in order for any of their sensationalist coup nonsense to actually ever come to the fore and bear some fruit, it's going to require the military.
Because nothing's ever going to happen as long as the military is in the horrible Democratic pocket, you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's kind of so...
MTG said it was a death sentence to join the military.
I believe in response to the military saying they're not hitting their recruiting numbers of late and she said That's because it's a death sentence because Biden is in charge and the leadership is all in Biden's pocket.
And, um, certainly her son doesn't want to join.
And I believe that was the, the context of, she definitely talked about her son.
So if her son's in the military, I don't know, maybe fuck him, but who knows?
Uh, So she just went on this ramble on this podcast about how the, the military is just Biden sending you to your death.
And look at those Marines who died in Afghanistan during the, the, when we pulled out of Afghanistan, we just left them to die.
That is not what happened.
This is not what happened at all.
They died defending a position.
It's like as, as part of their job.
And now we're not in Afghanistan anymore.
A war that never, a forever war that we could not win.
But yeah, MTG is taking potshots at the military?
I never understand these people.
And the thing about that is, is Trump was the one who signed the withdrawal order.
I mean, Biden was literally carrying out Trump's wishes by leaving Afghanistan.
So the whole idea that, oh, this blood is on Biden's hands, blah, blah, blah, it's like, You do realize that we literally had a million presidents keep kicking that can down the road.
And then Trump kicked his can down the road to the point where he was like, well, if I won't be in office when the withdrawal happens, so what do I care?
They're not going to call me out on it.
And, uh, good on Biden for actually doing it.
I mean, it feels like one of those things where everyone was like, I'll withdraw from Afghanistan once I get into the office.
Then the military is like, nah, dude, we got this.
Just another couple of years.
We're going to win for real.
And no, there's no good answer to that.
Like we were never going to get there.
We either had to be there forever or leave.
And you know what?
The whole country fell apart when we left.
Like, there's no good answer.
But according to Marjorie Taylor Greene, it's a death sentence to join the military as it stands.
She also commented on... Do we have any numbers about how much, like, how many military personnel died, like, in combat or whatever, like, last year?
Or even over the last, like, five years?
Last five years?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm sure that data's out there.
It can't be that high.
Like, certainly not high enough for somebody to say something as salacious as, joining the military is a death sentence.
It's just like, .001% of people that joined the military last year, like, ended up getting, like, killed or injured.
What does that have to tell ya?
Is it a fuckin' death sentence?
It's like, no, not really.
It's like, those odds are pretty good.
Um, let's see.
I just don't like, much like Sarge, I'm just baffled by how, again, he said hot and cold on whether or not they worship the United States military.
Yeah, we actually have the numbers for 2020, and there were 1017 deaths, and then 2019 was 893, and this is total across every service, and 2029 were killed in hostile action, total, in the entire U.S.
military.
Most of the deaths were accidents, and you know what?
Get a little dark here.
The number one cause of death in the military remains, every year, suicide.
It was... Oh yeah.
It was suicide.
That's what kills more troops than anything.
So, uh, you know, maybe Marjorie Taylor Greene is right.
Mental health matters and the military.
We all know the MTG is a staunch, staunch defender of mental health.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh God.
She's going to divert so much funding to mental health and making sure the VA hospital is fully funded.
Oh, you have no idea.
The thing about QAnon and the military is that the military is literally one of their slogans.
It's one of the things Q repeatedly said in the Q drops is military is the only way.
There was this, which QAnon interprets as meaning we have to go through all this other bullshit for optics.
We have to let the normies see the election fraud and this, that, the other thing.
But when push comes to shove, The military will eventually step in, ease Biden out of the presidency, and then reinstall Trump.
Because that's the only way it can happen.
Which was very interesting when QAnon went whole hog on this whole thing about the woke military and letting trans people serve and argle-bargle.
This is horseshit.
And they're doing their videos where they're comparing Chinese and Russian military recruitment videos to American recruitment videos.
And the Russian and Chinese videos have these dudes with 12-pack abs and all this just testosterone-laden, like, running through forests and shooting guns and wearing camouflage and paint and looking all manly and alpha.
And then you got America, where they have, like, a woman who's running, like, a communications station talking about how, when I was growing up, I never thought anyone would have me in the military, but it turns out the U.S.
Army had a place for me!
And they're just like, which one of these armies do you think is gonna win a war?
And it's like, well, guess what?
It's not fuckin' Russia.
They ain't winning shit against fuckin' anybody!
Turns out your fuckin' 12-pack ab guys can't hang with tiny little Ukraine, you fuckin' losers.
Yeah, that like for the longest time they're like one of the the big examples of manly military and it turned out to be all propaganda was the Russian army and turns out it was corrupt as dicks and poorly trained and is like Russia said Russia and Alex Jones were saying this this whole invasion deal was a bish bash bosh over in 48 hours we'll be home for lunch and like We're coming up on like month two now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I've been reading stuff about how like a lot of the Russians, uh, recruitment contracts they're up in like June.
So if they don't like win pretty much between now and June, a lot of their army is just going to say, my contract's up.
I'm out of here.
Bye.
Fuck you.
And they all know.
And they're all, and the Russian army is telling everybody.
Don't sign a contract.
Don't enlist right now.
They're just going to send you to Ukraine where you're going to fucking die.
And what Sarge just said about like 29 Americans killed recently, there's talk that about 20,000 Russians have been killed in Ukraine already.
I mean, just an inconceivable amount of casualties that the Russian army has suffered in this war already.
And it's been a little over a month.
Like this is, That's like almost 10 times what we lost in Iraq and Afghanistan over two decades.
And there's no sign that it's going to stop.
The Russian army sucks.
Yeah, they only backed out of Kiev because it was like a tactical thing.
They did what they wanted to do there, which is to say, lose a bunch of equipment and get a bunch of their soldiers killed.
They were like, hey, check this out.
Sending soldiers to their death, like having their tanks run out of gas.
Yeah, that's right.
We really showed you.
Now we're taking off.
Have you seen that the Russians have effectively, like, kidnapped half a million No, no, no.
You don't get it, Sarge.
And just relocated them into Russia and like I'm seeing reports of that and I just can't figure out why
Why would you take these people that hate you and put them in your country?
No, no, you don't get it Sarge the Russians have a heroically reclaimed
500,000 Russians, yeah Ukraine
well, uh they're also kidnapping a lot of children in that mix and
that is that is one of the One of the things that is actually classified as genocide
is when you try to steal Like the young younger generation from a country and move
it into your own country in an attempt to basically damage the demographics of another nation to reduce their
ability to have those people live where they're supposed to live and
And thank you.
This is what's happening there with these kidnappings that you just talked about, this forcibly moving people from Ukraine into Russia.
This is one of the reasons why Joe Biden came out and said what the Russians are doing is a genocide.
And Biden did clarify that he's like, look, I'll leave it to the lawyers to dot the i's and cross the t's on me calling this a genocide.
But in my eyes, as far as I can tell, this is what you do.
When you're literally kidnapping and murdering children so that a nation loses its youth, then that's genocide.
So fuck you, you monsters.
Let's take the temperature of QAnon, how they feel about a weaponized military force coming in and abducting a bunch of children.
Isn't that their number one no-no?
Number one.
Yeah.
They fucking love it.
Vladimir Putin is the greatest.
Russia is killing it.
You have no idea.
They love putting up all these graphs about how the ruple has rebounded and gained back, quote-unquote, all of its value.
I believe that.
I definitely believe that.
Well, the thing is, I actually had some people explain it to me, why the ruple is, quote-unquote, at its proper value.
And it's because, like, Putin's not letting people spend ruples outside of Russia anymore, and they've, like, jacked up the interest rates on all these things.
So, technically, the ruple is worth, like, One ruble, like four rubles is worth like one American dollar or whatever the trade value was.
But it's not actually because no one in the world is taking rubles.
You can't use them outside of Russia.
It's just like, it's basically Russia's now a company town, and you don't get real dollars, you get company scripts.
So that's what it is.
And people are like, oh no, that company script, just as valuable as it was before.
Russia doing great, America's embargoes and all their sanctions.
Stupid, just raising prices on gas here in America, idiots.
Like, Vladdy Daddy dunking on Biden again.
Boom, two points Russia.
You mentioned a minute ago Biden, like, came out and said the big G word and called what Russia's doing a genocide.
Another, shall we say former president, also had something to say along those lines?
Yep, Trump came out and also stated that this is a genocide in Ukraine and This of course made QAnon incredibly sad because they're on Russia's side and they can't abide by their hero, their champion in all things in the world, Donald Trump, being against what they are for.
On top of Trump's bold decision to be pro-Ukraine, which I mean, my God, what a thin branch to get out on, Donald Trump.
The country that only has like, I don't know, 95% of the support of Americans.
You literally have to go on Gab in order to see this shit.
Certainly not on Truth.
No.
Oh God, no.
But, um, like that shit, um, It's like, so Ukraine's just the overwhelming favorite.
Everyone loves Ukraine.
Yeah.
Whereas no one is in favor of Russia, but except for QAnon.
And they're just like, no, no, Trump daddy, you can't be on Ukraine's side.
That's mean and bad.
It makes us sad.
Then on top of that, Trump decided that he's going to endorse Dr. Oz in the Republican primary in Pennsylvania for the Senate.
What inspired this?
Did, like, I assume Dr. Oz announced his candidacy.
Oh yeah, Dr. Oz has been running for over, like, two months now.
You're with it.
The Oz man cometh.
And Dr. Oz is someone who QAnon aggressively hates because some of his shows were, you know, they actually were not transphobic enough for them.
Dr. Oz has talked about trans people just like being people and that's not a problem.
And also Dr. Oz was connected to the World Economic Forum Which is headed up by Klaus Schwab, who is one of the new baddies in the QAnon Alex Jones universe.
Oh yeah, definitely better put some parentheticals around that name, huh?
I know Dr. Oz's wife is notably anti-vaccine, but I think Dr. Oz has said, like, he's for the vaccine, but man, he is a full-on grifter now and has been for years.
Oh yeah, Dr. Oz is absolute scum, but he's absolute scum who has trafficked in, um, The circles of celebrity, which, again, if you're not Donald Trump, you're not allowed to hang out with other celebrities.
There's photos of Dr. Oz with Marina Abramovich, who is absolutely one of the biggest boogeymen in all of QAnon.
So I actually saw one person on Gab made a post that was just like, Dr. Oz is for the transgender takeover of society.
Part of the occult and the other guy in the primary going against him is just another globalist, banker, investor guy.
And he was like, I would rather concede this Senate seat in Pennsylvania than to vote for either one of these dirtbags.
And I was like, please do.
Please give us that Senate seat.
Oh, I will take that Senate seat off you.
No questions asked.
No problem, buddy boy.
You all just stay home and don't vote.
Like, you show those Republicans you mean business by not voting for Dr. Oz.
You do whatever you can to send that message loud and clear.
If you got some time on your hands, go ahead and listen to the Behind the Bastards episodes about Dr. Oz if you want to know all about Dr. Oz, because man, he is a huge bastard.
Like, make no mistake.
But man, Trump remains such a gigantic starfucker.
Like, this guy Just wants to be close to celebrity and I don't understand.
You know the big name celebrities like Dr. Oz and Kid Rock.
No one else, like he's toxic waste.
He just takes whatever he can get but he just still desperately wants to be next to celebrity.
It just always cracks me up how crappy Republican celebrities are.
They're all just so bad.
Like, they're just the worst ones.
Like, they just have no good celebrities.
It's hilarious.
Yeah, it's like, Rob Schneider, uh, uh, fuck it, who was it, the, we dunked on her, the lady from Cheers, Kirstie Alley, Roseanne Barr, it's just like, uh... Scott Baio, I'm the new nouge!
He did it together, yeah.
The dog, the dog's in on it.
She hates him too.
Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's so funny, like, the lack of star power that Trump had during his presidency, and Biden wins, and immediately his inauguration has, like, Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande and Tom Hanks.
Noted Satanists, I mean.
Oh, God, all the people they hated.
All the people these dum-dums hate are just flocking, just kicking down the door to get themselves as a part of the Biden experience.
Yeah, I mean, it's just absolutely, it's night and day.
I mean, it's just so funny, the celebrity star power that liberals have compared to conservatives.
And what makes it even funnier is that you'll have conservatives being like, we don't care about celebrities, it's all dumb, they're all morons.
And then Donald Trump runs for president, like, woo, get him, Trump, yeah!
Dr. Oz runs for Senate, and they're like, yeah, Dr. Oz, it's like, You guys, you only claim you hate celebrities.
You'd love it if a celebrity was on your team.
You know who Trump should be starting to rub some elbows with?
If he wants a big-name celebrity?
Our buddy Elon Musk.
Because if Elon Musk has his way, he can also help Trump with his Twitter problem.
Because from what I hear tell, Elon Musk bought some of Twitter and then decided to tell the world that he was open to the idea of buying all of Twitter for a very specific price.
Well, maybe not necessarily all of it, but a hostile takeover, like a good old fashioned hostile takeover, so that he could run it his way, you know, with Blackjack and hookers, like his own Twitter.
Yeah, so isn't it and he really he really wants to turn it back into the heroic public forum free speech platform it was always intended to be which makes me really really think that Elon Musk wants to tweet the n-word he's just he just can't Ooh, he wants to do it so bad, but he can't.
He'd lose all of his followers, and then he couldn't artificially inflate Dogecoin or whatever anymore, so he has to withhold himself.
But when he's in charge, when he is the one, the only member of the board, and he can just flip the switch to make free speech go, he's gonna say so much of the N-word, guys, you don't even know.
I think that's why he keeps building rocket ships, because in space, no one can hear him be racist.
Yeah, in space, nobody can hear the N-word.
I mean, him and Joe Rogan are gonna go up there, they're gonna smoke a dube, and just say whatever they want to say into the endless void of space.
Now, QAnon's reaction to this is both, of course, free speech, which they're huge fans of, but they also believe in this bizarre concept that Elon Musk is going to take over Twitter.
He's going to restore Trump's Twitter account so he can own the libs aggressively.
And then Elon is going to give QAnon back all their accounts so they can come flooding back into Twitter so they can say every terrible racist, transphobic, homophobic, and bigoted slur they can think of in their little brains.
And everything's going to be great because you're going to own so many libs.
Oh, well, they don't want that fucking problem, because you know who else would get their platform back?
Jay Stu.
Oh boy, he'd be here, he'd be cocking the literary shotgun and giving them both a double barrel of, uh, you are inauthentic.
I mean, it's like we talked about last week with Shark.
It's such a low bar that they're cheering for.
We could come back on Twitter!
It's like, yeah, sure, I guess, hooray.
Like, what a victory that would be for you.
You would finally have your social media, your racist social media site.
And then the libs, for the most part, would just go somewhere else.
If you all just came flooding back, it would just be QAnon, and people hate watching QAnon or reporting on them, and then, I don't know, we'd all go to TikTok and be confused.
Well, I hate to break it to you, Sarge.
People have been cheering for low-hanging bars for a year, just ask Beastie Boys fans.
Boom roasted.
Yes!
Too soon.
My microphone is a stand-up microphone on my desk, so I cannot drop it.
But were I able to drop it, that would have been me dropping it.
Boom!
Sick burn.
Sick beastie boys burn.
We're going back to the good old days where this is yet another payoff from a joke we set up a thousand years ago.
So one QAnon promoter on Gab, someone else was like, hey man, I don't know why you're so gung-ho about going back to Twitter, because Gab's so awesome.
He posted, quote, this is fucking nonsense.
Gab is great, but it's an echo chamber.
You don't win a war by preaching to the choir in your own barracks.
You win by meeting the enemy on their battlefield and greasing your tank treads with their guts.
Which is a weird metaphor to be using while Russia does the opposite of that with their happy war.
Right, exactly.
You know what you really do?
You meet the enemy on their own battlefield and then you leave your tank behind but it runs out of fuel.
Then you all run off into a field when a German made rocket hits the first vehicle in your convoy, which is definitely what you're supposed to do.
You should run In the opposite direction, away from your armored vehicles, just like scared mice.
That is good tactical training.
I watched that video five times, like one rocket hits the first vehicle, and the Russian troops literally scatter the whole convoy.
I have to ask you, in the military, was the term scared mice used often?
Um, yeah, it's like, hey, don't do that.
It's a good way to just get fucking lit up.
Like, if a vehicle in your convoy gets blown up, you go into a herringbone formation with your vehicles so that you have defensive positions, and then you return fire.
Like...
Until you could get a stable situation and clear the vehicle, assess the situation.
They literally ran away, just abandoning vehicles.
It's amazing.
This is one of the militaries that was touted as being the toughest in the world.
I remember hearing about Russian Special Forces training, and they're like, they're so much tougher than us.
Uh, I'm not seeing it.
Like, I was in a convoy that had a bomb set off on it.
I did not run off into the night into a field.
Imagine how much more of a disaster this would be if Russia just didn't have a bunch of nukes.
In a world where nukes didn't exist, this level of military pants downing by Ukraine, everyone would just suddenly be like, oh, why do we give a fuck what Russia says about anything, bud?
It wouldn't be like that GIF I sent you where all the presidents were in muscle cars just charging straight at the opposing troops like the sky would be filled with American jets just blaring ACDC.
Oh, Ukraine would probably retake Crimea if Russia didn't have nukes.
I mean, Ukraine might roll in and start taking Russian cities.
They might be like, you wanted a war of conquest?
You got one, assholes!
We're taking chunks of you, bitches!
Yeah, a Ukraine-led NATO-like force, it would just be like, pick your favorite military in that region, and they would just be jamming out.
Like straight in.
Yeah, if nukes were off the table, and I have to assume that like every...
Intelligence apparatus the U.S.
has is trying to figure out the state of Russian nukes and has been for a while now.
I mean, given the state of Russia's military, you have to be wondering, it's like, do they actually have all the nukes they claim they have?
How many nukes can they actually launch at this point?
The problem is they only need one.
It's like, I bet they don't even have half operable from what They say they do, but it's it's a it's a zero sum game here.
If they have one, we're all fucked.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, I'm still like I was talking with Mike Rains about this earlier.
I'm I'm still just absolutely furious that our anti-nuke technology has not We've gotten to the point where we still have to worry about nuclear Armageddon.
It's been like 70 years or whatever, man.
Like, figure it out.
80 years?
Like, come on.
Like, really?
Yeah.
We spent like a trillion dollars, like $2 trillion a year on our military.
Some absurd amount of money.
We don't have this one licked yet.
We couldn't just throw money and scientists at it until it worked?
It's a question of where that money's going.
I don't know if you've heard, but the United States military has never been audited.
Not once.
In the history of its existence, so... Yeah, it has more money than any other military, but where that money's going is very much in question.
I'm just saying, short-sighted goals, man.
The second we unlock, like, civilization-style unlock the technology that makes us just immune to nukes, then like... Then we just get to be Big Dick America.
Yeah, we need to tech into that.
Yeah, we just need to launch, we need Star Wars.
That was what Reagan was talking about in the 80s, was actually creating a laser defense system so that Russia couldn't nuke us.
Yeah, I've said it again, Ronald Reagan was right about everything.
Absolutely.
That is actually our first t-shirt because conservatives will wear it unironically and we'll wear it ironically.
Let's fucking get that Star Wars thing up and rutted.
I mean, we have a space force to defend it now, right?
So we have a space force that we could use to defend our laser satellite anti-nuke system.
And then let's just get that thing up and rutted at like 100% capacity.
So it's just like, hey, you never have to worry about a tactical nuclear strike from another nation again.
And it's just like, all right, cool.
Well then, maybe we get a little more aggressive in our, like, policies against assholes like Russia who we're just taking other countries, or attempting to, and failing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then we just send over all, like, then we just tech into the car from Knight Rider.
That thing stood up to anything, and we just send a fleet of those raging across Ukraine.
I can't believe you referred to Kit as the car from Knight Rider.
I could also be talking about car.
But you weren't.
You were talking about Kit.
Yeah.
Night Industries 2000?
Yes, but I can never remember what what CAR stands for.
It's something automated roving rober rober or something like that.
There was a there was a an evil semi truck too piloted by Hasselhoff wearing a mustache because it was the evil version of Hasselhoff.
And the Adventures in Hellworld podcast also has an evil big rig, White Abyss Pride!
I am White Abyss Pride!
I just really think Elon Musk is a good guy, you know?
He's got some great ideas.
I think we should hear him out.
Yeah.
On Twitter.
Let's make America rock again!
Kid Rock would love that!
Actually, Whitemist Prime is a Kid Rock tour bus.
Whitemist Pride.
Whitemist Pride?
Oh, my bad.
Yeah.
It was your bad.
Have any of you seen the video that explains why the turrets of Russian tanks have been found detached from the actual body of the tank?
No, but it sounds like the setup to some hilarious joke.
I wish it was, but it's actually not, because this guy explained that American tanks, you just literally have a dude inside the tank, he loads the shell into the cannon of the tank, and then it fires.
The Russians have this bizarre auto-loading system where it's like a circle of shells and the auto-loader like feeds the shell in, you fire, then it rotates.
It's like basically a revolver, but for a tank gun instead of like a handgun.
And the thing is, if you can hit the tank where those shells for the autoloader is, they just explode in a circle and it will just pop the turret right up.
It will vaporize the crew and the tank is annihilated and everyone's dead inside.
So it's like an ultimate catastrophic hit if you can get it.
And...
If you've seen a bunch of videos of Russian tanks in Ukraine, the Ukrainians are very good at getting that hit.
The Russian tanks have a critical weak spot.
They're like a boss fight, where it's like, if you get behind the boss, you can do triple damage!
When I design my military technology, I give it a big glowing red weak spot.
Just to be fair.
Just to be cool.
That's exactly what it is.
It's that bad.
Like, they showed a video, this rocket hit the tank, and just, the turret just goes up.
And there's just this big, quick ball of light, and it's like, holy shit.
Like, you can't even imagine.
Yeah, who are these guys?
The Empire?
Am I right?
Yeah, basically!
I mean, really, they are!
It's that bad.
It's so ridiculous.
I mean, they are getting their asses kicked by a scrappy, much smaller force.
So yeah, they do seem sort of like the Empire.
And they are just sort of like ruled by some dumb, evil white guy.
Oh my god.
It's Star Wars.
We've tied it back to Reagan somehow.
We've done it.
It's Star Wars all the way down.
I'm not surprised by the pop culture references.
But like somehow talking about Reagan surprised me as much as we have this, uh, this go around.
I mean, it's like I've always said, Ronald Reagan was never wrong about anything.
Yeah.
Damn right.
I did.
I did work with a guy for a while, uh, at the bank and, uh, the call center bank.
And he routinely wore a t-shirt to work, uh, until he was asked to stop that said, uh, that had a Reagan anti-abortion quote on it.
And HR had to talk with him, said, you're making people uncomfortable.
Take that.
Yeah.
And I think that quote is like misattributed as well.
Oh, really?
I can't believe a conservative would- Yeah, I know, it's wild.
Let me talk to you about what things that Thomas Jefferson never fucking said.
Oh my God.
That's going to be our coffee table book, things Thomas Jefferson never said.
Yeah, things Thomas Jefferson never said.
You consent, right?
I own you.
Yikes.
Yo!
Wow!
Yikes.
Scalding hot on this Jefferson rape takes.
Boom.
Ooh, yikes.
Let's lighten it up with a little talk about some domestic terrorism.
I'll be briefly on the Subway shooter.
At this point, I'm sure most people don't know what we're talking about, but some bellend decided that he was going to... Frank James, a Philadelphia man.
Do a terrorism and use some smoke bombs and some gunfire to wound, although avoided killing any people, at least as of now.
He wounded, I believe it was 10 people directly, and I think it was like up to 23 or 24 indirectly by causing some mass hysteria or whatever.
Before being relatively peacefully arrested some time later.
So naturally, QAnon, I'm assuming, does not think that this was a real domestic terrorism.
This obviously had to be fake and staged.
But to what end, Mike Raines?
Why was this some sort of false flag?
Well, this was a false flag because Biden had just signed an EO and had directed the head of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms to crack down on ghost guns.
Guns that were made by 3D printers and that sort of thing that are completely unregulated.
They can't be traced or tracked.
What does Joe Biden have against these guns that can kill a ghost?
They're enchanted.
Yes, Biden is obviously a necromancer and his ghost army is vulnerable to these weapons and his conquest of America could be defeated were these weapons allowed into the hands of patriots.
If you told me you don't actually believe that, I would be forced to believe you based on like everything we've ever talked about on this podcast.
Yeah.
So, uh, the moment the shooting happened, everyone immediately started screaming false flag that this was obviously a setup to, uh, to initiate the great gun grab, which every other mass shooting in the history of America has failed to produce.
But you know, a mass shooting with no fatalities, this is the one that's going to galvanize America and finally make it so we can take your guns.
It's so childish.
It definitely happened after every mass shooting, especially one where all those children died.
As someone said, if Sandy Hook happened and we still didn't do anything for our fucking gun laws, this is clearly something that's not going to happen in this generation.
We're going to have to kick the can down the road another 20 years for all The kids from Parkland, all these, that generation, the generation of people suffering through school shootings, they're going to have to be in the halls of power.
And they're going to be like, you know what?
My childhood fucking sucked living in the specter of a mass shooting.
So maybe we'll ban guns?
Maybe we can fix that shit?
Maybe?
I mean, so, like, it's, this is a generational problem.
And, but QAnon doesn't see it that way.
They're just like, nope.
False flag!
The subway cameras didn't work because everyone knows subways are very well funded and all the cameras and everything else in the subway works perfectly.
So the cameras not working was incredibly suspect.
Except for the camera that was working that ended up catching the guy.
They were just like, hey, on top of this key and this credit card we found and this ID card, we also just have a picture of exactly what the guy looks like off of this camera from where he entered the subway.
Yeah, stop me if you've heard this one.
He recorded racist videos online for years.
Oh, yeah, yeah, his his paper trail.
I guess I guess his videos were sort of like all over the place because this I mean, when I heard that this attack went down, this was not the guy I was picturing in my head that did it.
I'm not going to lie.
Yeah, I was.
I was like, oh, the person doing this is white for sure.
Yeah.
At times, he sharply criticized black Europeans and marriage and Americans using strings of slurs and racism, as well as women and the homeless.
Yeah, this guy was nuts.
Yeah, it seems like he probably got radicalized somewhere along the way and his mental health suffered.
Yeah, and the fact that he was caught by a security camera installation guy who was the one who saw him and then flagged down police and then the police ran over grabbed him and arrested him without incident.
The QAnon's like, so the security cameras in the subway were broken and then a guy who installs security cameras is the one who caught him?
Hmm, sounds fishy to me.
So everything's a conspiracy to these people.
Everything's a plot.
I don't know man, that is a little sus.
I feel like I know who Hitler is.
Don't elect that guy.
Yeah, quite sus.
Anyway, yeah, I mean, so QAnon continue to be a bunch of wretched fucking ghouls, whoever would have suspected.
You want to move on to some less wretched ghouls and take some questions from our glorious listeners?
That sounds like a plan.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So, ye old mailbag, which of course has escaped my screen the moment I went to click on it.
Incredible.
What an impeccable level of professionalism that our listeners have come to appreciate.
Especially right after I negged them.
I negged them into you failing us.
Exactly right.
So, MeBad asks, Flat Earth is the conspiracy that bugs the shit out of me because it's so easy to prove false.
What conspiracy bugs you guys the most?
Oh, maybe Flat Earth.
Yeah.
That one seems pretty dub.
Flat Earth is like the Scientology of conspiracies.
Trickle-down economics.
Trickle-down economics is a conspiracy theory?
It doesn't work, and they use it all the time.
I mean, Flat Earth is upsetting, because a lot of things come from that.
And then you're left just like, what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
For me, that level of easily disprovable, really, it just seems like a huge force multiplier for making me hate a thing.
Because, sure, you can debunk almost all of this shit, but the flatter thing, it's just like, what?
I mean, how?
You can be in a plane, or on a very tall building, any number of ways.
You can see the Earth curving.
You can use a laser to do it, or just math, or the stars.
It's just so bananas.
Just watch a ship go over the horizon and try to explain that on a flat earth.
Just explain it to me.
I mean, yeah.
It's so ridiculous.
And what's the payoff?
What good is it to hide flat earth from us?
Why would that matter?
That's Foxy's favorite thing.
Because Roud is the devil's shape.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
The greatest trick the devil ever played was Roud.
Exactly.
Think about it.
Yeah, I am.
I'm thinking about it right now.
But yeah, for me, honestly, it would probably be the Kennedy assassination because that normalized conspiracy theory so aggressively in America.
Oliver Stone did a blockbuster movie with A-list actors playing like conspiracy theorists.
And everyone just, it became a thing where it was just like, Yeah, those other conspiracy theories are crazy, but this one's on the money, and I just think that really opened a can of worms in the American psyche that we're never gonna fucking heal from, so... Yeah, I think Jack Ruby has a little bit to answer for as well.
Oh, Jack Ruby and the Dallas Police skull-fucked America in ways you can't even imagine.
And the Warren Commission didn't cover themselves in any glory either, I mean.
But this isn't a four-hour podcast, so I'm going to step off my soapbox now before I go down that rabbit hole.
Is that bonus content shit?
These people, if they want to hear it, they gotta pay.
Yes!
If you want to hear that, go into the Phallus Deed.
I got hours and hours of shit into that.
So thank you for the question.
Cleodora Silvestri is a proud no-coiner, still hasn't changed the subtitle.
Considering Q people think life is a movie and Sturgeon's Law reminds us that 90% of all media is shit, which garbage streaming service do you think would put QLives in their movie catalog since Netflix would want nothing to do with their Z-tier dreck?
Oh, Amazon for sure.
Amazon is where I get all my conspiracy books.
They host all those, and there's a bunch of... Like, no joke, there's a bunch of horseshit on Amazon streaming already.
Like, a lot of stuff gets through their filter.
I think they had Plandemic for a hot second.
That answer is fine, but also sucks and is much worse than mine, which is Quibi.
It even has a Q right in it.
I'll be taking over the questions.
I'm fine with that.
That is both fair and balanced to me.
No, I mean, I will actually, I will continue to answer the mailbag questions.
But still, that is just like an incredible answer on my part.
Oh, mailbag.
Yes, yes.
But poop is not even a thing anymore, our listeners might be saying.
And yeah, I know.
That makes it even funnier.
The whole thing makes it hilarious.
Because you imagine trying to get like, Like, pilled, like, six minutes at a time in landscape mode on your phone or whatever, like, and then you're just like, oh shit, but I gotta be pilled on the go, and then you, like, flip your phone to, uh, portrait mode, or, and it's just like, oh my god, it works!
Now I'm all zoomed in on this character, and it's very awkward.
Oh god, thanks Quibi for being terrible, uh...
Who greenlit any of that?
That's the sort of cocaine-fueled business optimism that I thought went out of fashion in the 80s.
That's just a wild thing.
People gotta have it on their phone, on the go.
Who?
There's only, like, a few cities in the whole country where anybody would be interested in that, and, like, there's already a billion different services.
Anyway.
What's above my soapbox?
This is also, uh, if they want to listen to this, they're gonna pay.
This is gonna be my bonus content series where I just fuckin' take a stick and beat people.
You know YouTube's real.
Oh god.
Your bonus content will be Punch the Clown and then they'll spin into different Jags as events warrant.
So, thank you for the question, because I don't have a streaming service off the top of my head.
I think Sgt.
L will crush that.
So, Pancake Peasant... How about Yahoo Screen?
Oh, God!
Pancake Peasant asks, I can safely guess that QAnon doesn't support abortion rights, but how much do they actually engage on the topic?
Q mentioned abortion many times because Q was leaning hard into the Christianity shit.
And of course, abortion is murder in that in that worldview.
So there's a bunch of Q drops where they talk about how The Democrats are allowing infanticide, which is something they love doing.
California recently had a bill to protect abortion rights, and every different right-wing news outlet had a thing about how this bill allows a parent to kill their baby a week after it's born, or two weeks after it's born, or whatever.
They just really wanted to make it clear that you could totally give birth to a live baby.
And then if you wanted to murder it within a week or two, California was absolutely going
to legalize that.
Which of course the bill didn't.
And even if, even if California had literally crossed the Rubicon into open Satanism, baby
slaughtering, there's a federal law against murder.
So if you did kill a baby that way, the FBI would show up and arrest you.
We would have to federally legalize murder before that could even happen at the state level.
So, um, that's basically their thing, is just, uh, baby killing satanists, blah blah blah.
There are seven Q-drops that actually have the word abortion directly in them.
Um, they really love getting angry and bent out of shape over, uh, the unborn.
Cause it's the, it's the easiest bullshit in the world.
I, nothing gets me angrier than listening to pro-lifers like take the moral high ground.
Like you're a bunch of baby killers.
It's like, no, we're not.
You fucking know it.
You're like, you just want women to be brood mares for the state.
Yeah, I mean, it's really, really easy to be sanctimoniously into the idea of saving the life of this person before they're an actual person.
But a lot of these people would rather die than try to do anything to alleviate homelessness, for instance.
So it's just like, hey, do you want to like donate some money to try to stave off some homelessness?
And they're just like, no.
God, no.
Do you want to vote for legislation to try to help people that are in a bad way?
Sounds like welfare to me, so no, obviously.
Yeah, pass.
You gotta bootstrap it up.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Do your tattered boots have straps?
Well, then grab those straps and then pull those boots up.
That's what Reagan said.
Reagan was never wrong about anything.
Yeah.
Damn right.
Damn right.
Alright, what else we got?
Plus-sized Goth Model asks, does Herschel Walker have brain damage?
If you didn't know, Herschel Walker is a famous football player who also did some MMA fighting.
Oh, so yes.
So yeah, the answer to that question...
I mean, you can continue to explain who it is, but just based on your elevator pitch thus far,
I'm going to say yes, his brain is heavily damaged.
Yeah.
So yes, he has brain damage.
And the reason why this is relevant and also dangerous is because Hershel Walker is using
his football career fame to attempt to run for Senate in the state of Georgia.
And right now he is polling ahead of the Democrats.
So like, yeah, but I mean, there's, I mean, there's quite a, there's quite a ways down
the line between now and November.
And, uh, again, Herschel has a lot of skeletons in the closet involving domestic violence and the aforementioned brain damage that he almost obviously suffers from.
Yeah.
I mean, is it unethical for me to just be like, Hey, if you're running for public office, you need to let me scan your brain upon request just to make sure that you don't have some sort of like CTE or whatever.
So you're not going to.
I don't know.
Chris bin-wad up while you're like a sitting senator or whatever.
That would be amazing.
I don't know.
Give old Chris a chance.
Oh dear God.
So yeah, he does have brain damage and he'd be a terrible senator so hopefully it doesn't
come to that.
Please get out and vote in the midterms.
I also love how like genuinely I had no idea who we were talking about.
So I was just like, yes, it does sound like that guy has brain damage.
And you're just like, oh, good.
Well, let me continue to describe who he is.
He is a candidate for senator.
Oh, I completely forgot.
Trump endorsed candidate for senator.
So, yes.
Oh, well, I mean, like, so is Kid Rock, right?
Uh, well, Kid Rock has yet to run for anything, but when he does, I'm sure he'll get the Trump seal of approval.
Absolutely.
Well, I mean, of course Trump is gonna support his fellow, uh, former athlete and, like, generally in shape guy.
He's like, yeah, we're, like, the same.
So, of course, I think that this guy's great.
I mean, he and I, we're pretty much, like, the same.
Our background is identical.
Like, yeah, we were both scrappy athletes back in the day, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So, uh, Reverend Xenofact, uh, says, uh, the QPIL, the GQP, the right-wing media are calling everyone groomers, except Republicans like Gates, of course.
It's a new word they love to say.
It feels like this is spreading so fast it's going to burn out.
What's your take?
Is it going to burn out, slow down, keep going, et cetera?
Uh, I think the groomer pedophile shit is...
It's really dangerous because when you start saying this kind of shit about, and especially when you say it about Disney, which is where they're going with all this stuff, like Disney is grooming our kids, blah, blah, blah.
You're basically telling some nut to Pull a pizza gate and try to shoot up some place, but instead of it being a pizza joint, it's a Disney theme park.
And that's incredibly dangerous.
I mean... And, like, on top of the grim reality of, like, how dangerous it is, let's just... It's hard to stress how bad that would be for conservative politics in America.
Because, like, the last thing they want to do is poke the bear of Disney in Florida.
Which is currently, like, you know, DeSantis Land.
But feels like it could probably change if Disney decided to start throwing its considerable weight around.
Like maybe if some sort of tragedy were to befall them for some reason that is related to this horse shit.
Yeah, uh... Hopefully it never comes to that, of course.
Yeah, I mean, it's really interesting how much bear poking they're doing with Disney right now.
They actually have people protesting outside of Disney parks with signs being like, boycott groomers, Disney's evil, they rape kids.
So I mean, we're already getting to the point where Republicans are aggressively attacking Disney, which I can't imagine Disney's happy with.
If this goes even further, which again is a very dangerous and possible thing, that will only make it even more, that will even spur Disney further to being against what the Republicans are doing.
Because the Republicans will literally have brought like violence to their door, which is ridiculous.
I guess like the sort of like incredibly dark Good news is that I don't actually think it has to get to the point of violence for maybe Disney to start, like, getting more involved.
Like, even if it just starts to, like, gain any sort of traction outside of, like, our little sphere, you know what I mean?
And, like, local news outlets just being, like, Some nuts!
Yeah, they're here in front of Disney saying crazy things.
Because obviously, no one's going to be like, are Disney a bunch of pedophiles?
But if it starts to gain any sort of actual traction, just like if there's enough of a A weird conservative upwell on the internet, maybe disease, just like, you know what, maybe we're done just sitting here being a capitalist cancer on the already tumorous Florida.
Give him a chance.
Who, Disney or Florida?
I don't know.
Who am I giving a chance to here?
Because either way, it doesn't seem very good.
The joke could go either way.
Either way, the answer is like, yeah, maybe a fresh set of chances.
Yeah.
So yeah, I think, uh, I think how much fire they play with is very much, uh, the payoff of this.
I, I don't know how, the one thing I will say is like, I don't know how much more extreme you can go.
I mean, the Republicans called people communists, they call people socialists, that really didn't seem to move the needle.
Then, um, They started doing this whole thing about pedophiles and groomers, and it's like... I don't know what you could possibly say about somebody beyond that.
I mean, it feels like you've kind of pinned the needle for offensive things to say about people.
Maybe we circle back around to, like, old-school style, like, thumb-biting and shit.
That would be great.
Like, a collective delusion.
That might be your oldest reference yet.
A collective delusion, like when we thought Swing was coming back for six months back in like 1998 or whatever.
But it's just like Marjorie Taylor Greene's just like out there just being like, yes, I do bite my thumb at these, sir.
Oh, that'd be great.
I live only for thumb-biting.
I mean, that would be incredible.
I would really love that.
I'm here for it.
I'm here for it.
Let's bring it back, people.
You can do it.
So Placeholder asks, was Poker amused by some of his longer-term reply guys had detailed on-air, on-message apologetics for the Russian invasion of Ukraine?
Can even J-Stew be right twice a day?
Um, I do.
I mean, QAnon being signal boosted by Russia is absolutely a thing.
And some people pointed out that, like, it felt like Mike Rothschild and a bunch of other QAnon debunkers had like a dip in reply guys after the sanctions against Russia went into effect.
Because it felt like people weren't being paid to call them shitheads, and they weren't being paid to promote QAnon, so who knows?
But I mean, no one has denied that Russia and foreign interests signal boost QAnon.
I mean, that's obvious.
You see a crack in the foundation of America.
You put the wedge in.
You try to break it up.
You try to make it a bigger wedge.
I don't know.
I just think that QAnon have good ideas.
I'm just a regular guy.
Yes.
I'm just on Twitter telling you that it's pretty good.
Yeah.
They're right some of the time.
Yeah.
Right as often as Ronald Reagan, who was always right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love how this podcast became fully 100% on point with Ronald Reagan.
Yes, absolutely.
That's great.
We're like, we're like hipster, like political armchair guys. And we're just like, you know, it actually was pretty
sweet. Oh, yeah.
Ronald Reagan, America's greatest president, all that good stuff.
Absolutely.
You really want to hear his speeches on Vinyl.
It's the only way to really experience it, to be honest.
I love to see your non-vinyl shit.
So good.
I've got all of them right next to my Cosby vinyls.
I can feel myself unspooling.
I feel like I'm mid-being snapped by Thanos.
My brain is just slowly disintegrating.
I'm right there with you.
Oh my God.
Oh, take us home.
Take us home, Mike Rains.
What do we got?
We have the secret question that I told Elle about previously.
But Daniel DM'd me and said, you've talked a lot about conspiratorial thinking and how believers rationalize their beliefs using things that are easily disproven.
Do you think the same thing happened thousands of years ago across the world to eventually lead to things like pharaohs in Egypt convincing people they're gods or gods of chosen ones and creating whole systems of government that way?
Oof, that's deep.
I do think the divine right of kings is kind of a pleasing fantasy for a populace to have, where you're like, well, why does that guy rule us?
And it's like, well, because God chose him to rule us, obviously, or because that guy is God.
He's a living incarnation of our gods.
I think that's a really easy way to sort of be like, yeah, that makes sense.
That's why things are the way they are.
And they should be that way, because obviously powers greater than us mere mortals have decreed it to be so.
So that makes it just.
And also like fucking charisma is terrifyingly powerful.
And for the majority of human history, you couldn't just get it on tap whenever you wanted to through a radio or a television or the Internet.
And before you could just get charisma whenever you wanted to through media, you had to, like, physically be in the presence of somebody that had it, and that gave them, like, a tremendous amount of influence over the people around them.
Like, when you go back in history and you look at all these, like, weird, like, like somebody like Rasputin, this is, like, dumbfuck ugly guy that was just sort of, like, everybody agreed was sort of scary and, like, Disheveled and unkempt and just sort of like horrible to be around and everybody just loved him because he just he just had a force of personality So he had convinced a bunch of people that he had like fucking like mind powers and shit also not a joke He had a massive hog
Yeah, well, oh yeah, he did the delay pipe.
I mean, it is known.
But like, it's just so, you know, like, again, like, Charisma is just wild.
And the idea that, you know, thousands of years ago, when people's entertainment was just sort of like, Sitting around waiting for death or listening to some guy who had charisma tell some stories Like eventually like one of those people elevates themselves to just be like well obviously I'm better than all of you I'm like God or whatever People are just like yeah, sure we buy it.
We're very bored Yeah You're doing something to remove the existential dread of my existence from my being for a few minutes.
So of course I'm going to buy into the idea that you're a god.
Sounds good to me.
Oh, absolutely.
That was a trick that people were pulling off up to Mormonism.
Yep, absolutely.
And then somehow Ron Hubbard also kind of did it.
He leaned in to me and he was like, I'm gonna write like a weird sci-fi book that's my Bible.
And people were like, we're into this sci-fi Bible!
Yeah, L. Ron Hubbard admitted it.
He's like, I'm calling my shot.
I'm making up a fake religion.
Fuck all y'all.
Yeah, he's like, you know how you make a ton of fucking endless money is make a religion.
And I confronted with this the people who are devout to his religion are just like, yeah, he was a wise man.
They're all on board.
You know, like when his ghost comes back, he's going to read the titanium cylinders that we've left for him.
And when he absorbs all of our knowledge again, he's going to lead us to I don't know, Space Heaven?
I don't know what the end point of Scientology is.
Uh, something to do with Xenu.
I don't know.
Something, something Xenu.
That's the extent of our knowledge about it.
It's like, hey man, what's up with Christianity?
What's up with the end point?
Pass up on something, Jesus.
Oh god, that is our newest podcast, Something About Zinu, an ill-informed podcast about Scientology.
We just take wild, totally inaccurate swings at Scientology as we await them suing us, because probably the only group of people more litigious than Disney is Scientology.
Yeah, I mean, like, I do feel like I'm still perfectly capable of being unsettled by just somebody sort of, like, passively, but also obviously just, like, sort of standing near my house, just, like, hanging out on, like, the corner of my block or whatever, just staring at me, letting me know that I'm being watched.
I'm just like, alright, cool, I guess.
I mean, I'm not really doing any dirt, so that's fine, but also kind of very unsettling.
Yeah, but they don't ever actually do anything, because I think that's like their gimmick, right?
Is they just like make it know that you're being under surveillance.
They'll just like send you an anonymous letter that's just like, nice cat you pet.
You're like, oh no, I did pet a cat.
So and now to our question of numerous for the week.
What are you looking forward to?
Totally.
I.
I totally get to see Fantastic Beasts 3 The Crimes of Grumblebum yet again tomorrow.
Yeah!
And I say get to see it because it's certainly going to be a real treat.
The last movie was fucking abhorrent.
It was like genuinely offensive how terrible the last movie was.
It really bothered me that so many people got paid so much money to produce that.
And that, like, people, like, some dear friends of mine are just, like, all in on the Wizarding World the way that I'm all in on the Marvel stuff.
So, like, that was, like, way worse than Thor 2.
So, as a Marvel fan, I feel like Thor 2 is probably our low point.
And watching Crimes of Grindelwald was just like, oh god, this is torturous.
And the early reviews for the third one is, hey, guess what?
It's better than that.
But I mean, there's still a lot of room between that and good.
And this is not good.
It's a low-ass part.
It's going to be great.
I can't wait.
I'm looking forward to- there are a bunch of new good animes this season.
I spent this morning after work catching up on a bunch of the new season.
There's one about a girl who does a bunch of golf hustling and I think that's insane and very anime-y and it's really fun.
So, enjoying the new season of anime.
Talk to me when there's an anime about a lady doing a lot of golf rustling.
I want a golf western.
I want an anime golf western.
Then I'll be all in.
Me too.
Me too.
I second that.
I am here for that anime as well.
I'm looking forward to the Boston Celtics playoffs because I just love sports and the Celtics appeared to have been absolutely psychotic because the Basically, the team that everyone thinks, if they ever got their shit together, could win the whole title.
They were gonna be in 7th place, and if you were in 2nd place, you'd have to play them immediately.
And the Celics were like, you know what?
Fuck it.
We'll take 2nd place.
We ain't scared.
We ain't scared.
We're doing it.
We're going after you.
And now, they've called their shot, and now they get, I mean, the Brooklyn Nets are not the champ, but they're close to it.
So, now, this is it.
So, like, we have this, like, big, heavyweight battle in Round 1, and, um, I was hanging out at Ye Olde Casino today and even though the first game isn't until Sunday, there was already people talking about it.
There's already kind of like a buzz forming around this game and this series and that's always fun.
And it's really fun to be like in the sports book when there's a big game going on and everyone's like hooting and hollering.
Like, every dumb thing results in someone winning or losing money.
They're like, oh shit!
I had that guy under 12 points for the game!
God damn it!
And it's like, really?
Like, you went that deep into the weeds for that bet?
It's like, sure did!
Now I'm out like 40 bucks!
And it's just like, wow.
Okay.
Good on ya, I guess?
Question mark?
So yeah.
Well, I'm happy that you're happy, even though personally I don't give a fuck about basketball.
Or most sports, for that matter.
Talk to me when there is a golf tournament that is featured in the Old West, but it's in anime.
I'll get back to you.
Then I'll be all in on sports.
Alright, so that's gonna do it for us.
It is time for us to jump on our weird little single-wheeled motorized platforms and roll ourselves out of Hellworld for the week.
Thank you so much for listening.
If you made it this far, you are a real trooper.
What a wild episode this was.
If you'd like to support the show, you can do so for free by telling a friend or leaving us a 5-star review.
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You can give it to us at Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
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Good stuff if you're into that sort of thing, and Lord knows you are.
So give us your money!
Or you can give your money to love146.org, a charity organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
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Probably better to do that than to give it to us, although if you have enough money to do both, Just go nuts.
In fact, give money to all three.
You just really dig deep.
We're begging you.
As always, I need to thank DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our wonderful theme song.
He is too cool for social media, so you can't thank him, but I can, and it makes my soul feel better, which I need in dark times like these.
I'd like to thank our buddy Frosty, who's our voiceover artist friend, for being our content warden and our bumps and our voice of Q. And pretty much anytime we need a voice, he is the man for it.
So you can find him over on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
If for some reason you want to hear more of myself and Sarge discussing stuff and things, we have a pop media podcast called Binge Wordy.
That's B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y.
And you can find us wherever podcasts are provided at Binge Wordy or on Twitter at Binge Wordy.
This month we are doing Patrick Swayze flicks.
I need to edit and upload the most recent episode where we talk about Roadhouse and Point Break.
It's quite fun.
I forgot how neat Patrick Swayze is.
They were a lot of fun, yeah.
But that's going to do it for us for this week, so thank you for making it this far, and I'm going to be signing off for myself, the mysterious Hellworld Elle, our good buddy Hellworld Sarge, and our QAnon expert on all things just completely bugfuck crazy about this QAnon jive, Mr. Mike Rades.
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