Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #73: Trump Crimes, Trucker Crimes, Joe Rogan Drama
This week the gang deals with Rudy's Masked Singer ordeal, the Canadian Trucker Convoy nonsense that QAnon and right wingers want to be a big deal but never will be. Trump commits more crimes, and Joe Rogan is a huge clown. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of the Adventures in Hellworld. I-
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
PokerinPolitics, and I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
Hello from the internet.
And the mysterious hell.
Hello, my beautiful babies.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm surprising everybody with no funny voice this week.
Just playing it straight, throwing the change up.
Zigging when they think I'm gonna zag.
You know how I do.
Regular, mysterious L voice for the beautiful baby intro.
Let's go.
Yes.
We're keeping it normal this week, because everything went totally normal this week.
We didn't have the guy who was basically quarterbacking all of the Electoral College shenanigans across America attempt to rehabilitate himself on the masked singer, and two of the judges walked off in disgust when they saw Rudy take the stand-up.
Two of the judges that I'm pretty sure are producers and booked that show, so their disdain for Rudy Giuliani being on there is... I'm not as impressed as I should be.
I'm pretty sure they're fairly high up on the show.
I mean, I suppose, but isn't the whole gimmick supposed to be that... I don't think Ken Jeong is good enough of an actor to fake like he doesn't know who people are for however long the stretch is.
He's a funny guy, but...
I don't actually think they know the identities of those people, right?
Isn't that the whole gimmick?
That is the gimmick.
Yeah, that is the gimmick.
So, maybe... And also, this looks real bad for them.
Like, if this was some sort of PR stunt, it was incredibly ill-conceived.
That's probably the most damning evidence.
It's just like, Ken Jeong, me not giving him credit for being savvy enough as an actor to pull off actually knowing who's behind the mask for all these people is one thing.
But the fact that this looks so horrible for the Masked Singers.
Here's a bold PR strategy.
Let's make people hate our show.
You don't want to associate our show with fascism.
Let's go.
No matter what, I think, yeah, it's not a good look.
It did not pay off.
Whatever they've done, it didn't work.
Uh, yeah.
I mean, but they've had Sarah Palin.
They had the controversial Ninja on.
That show's such a fucking joke.
Well, Ninja's only controversial because the internet is stupid.
Like, there's, like, he is the least controversial of those bunch.
I don't know if I would love Ninja and with Sarah Palin.
I'm just, I'm using him as a... Two horrible conservative monstrous has-beens.
And Ninja...
A guy who plays Fortnite for a living and everyone seems to hate, despite his fucking significant wealth.
He's like the James Corden of the internet.
Like, no one I have ever met has been like, oh yeah, I love that guy.
But clearly some people do, and in numbers enough to make him very rich and famous.
Yeah, it's like the whole phenomenon of the Pauls being professional boxers and everyone's like, I hate those guys!
And yet somehow they manage to have pay-per-views where they generate millions and millions of dollars enough to pay themselves and their opponents handsomely.
At least I understand because the dream scenario is that you get to watch somebody that you hate get their ass beat.
Yeah, that's why those pull in so much money.
Like, when they unmasked a contestant on The Masked Singer, Ken Jeong got to hit them over the head with a folding chair, a la the WWE.
And yes, I would love Rudy Giuliani to be on The Masked Singer.
More chair shots in Masked Singer.
Yeah, I want to see a highlight reel of Ken Jeong giving chair shots to bad celebrities and get unmasked on The Masked Singer with Jim Ross audio underneath it.
Just going, OH MY GOD!
OH MY GOD!
Oh my god.
Yeah.
So who were the two that walked off?
I know it was Ken Jeong and who was the other one?
I think it was Robin Thicke.
Was it Robin Thicke?
That's what I thought too.
The audacity of that guy.
Isn't he like a sex criminal?
Allegedly?
Or did he sexually assault somebody on that Blurred Lines video shoot?
Yeah.
I mean, that's the report.
He is... Allegedly?
I said allegedly, right?
Allegedly, allegedly.
I said the magic word.
I know your tricks.
You have no power here.
And neither does Rudy Giuliani.
This is up there with Tucker Carlson going on Dancing with the Stars.
Tucker Carlson brought his career back around, but I don't think Rudy Giuliani comes back from the past year.
Rudy's too old and literally all he has is Trump.
He just has to continue to be the remora to Trump's shark.
But didn't Trump already cut him loose?
Pretty much.
But it doesn't, yeah, but that's all Rudy's got anyways.
Even if Trump's like, you're gone, Rudy, you're out.
Rudy's like, no, no, Donald, no, I'll do anything for you.
So, I mean, like, he's like the spurned lover who can't be cast away.
He's gonna find a way to try to get himself back into Trump's black heart no matter what.
Can't you see we don't want you anymore?
In a lot of, like, rom-coms or whatever, there's always that, like, Well, not always, but frequently there's that benign other person who's in love with one of our main characters that just gets iced out because of the true love of the protags.
And there's this benign force that's sort of useless, but is clearly interested in one of them.
Not in a toxic or bad way, but in an unrequited way.
That's Rudy Giuliani.
Him being that sort of schmuck is the reason why we're talking about him at the top of the show as our amuse-bouche instead of talking about him during our headlines, which we should roll into now.
That sounds like a good idea.
Let's play some headlines.
From the digital headlines to the digital frontlines, it's Cues in the News!
So we have just a smorgasbord of terrible, terrible things going on in our world.
So Sarge, what terrible thing do you think we should cover first in the world?
I know the least about whatever terrible thing Joe Rogan is currently up to, so I guess I'm most curious about that, if we want to talk about Joe.
What's Joe up to?
Basically, Rogan's horrible past has once again cropped up.
Once again, the ancient videos of him saying horrifying racial slurs are now being posted all over social media.
And for years, when all of these things would be aired, where like Rogan said they went into some area, and it was like Planet of the Apes, and all the usage of the N-word, and all of this stuff.
I've seen this series of videos like a million times and the replies and comments to all of it is always, Oh, you fools think you can cancel Joe Rogan?
You can't cancel Joe Rogan.
He's too powerful.
But for some reason, Honestly, Joe Rogan's bulletproof.
He's untouchable.
You can't cancel him.
But for some reason, this go-around, suddenly now Rogan is on the back foot.
He issued an apology.
Spotify made them pull down like 70 episodes where he used inappropriate language.
We talked last week about how now they're putting a content warning on his stuff, but whatever on that front.
For the first time in this whole ordeal of the Rogan existence, he's now actually facing real mainstream backlash over his terrible views and the dumb stuff that he said.
So is Spotify, from what I understand.
Yeah, because more and more musicians are talking about pulling their stuff from Spotify.
There's talk about employee morale at Spotify being very low, and that people are looking to quit or leave the company.
Their stock value has plummeted.
So there's this huge to-do about this whole thing.
And just in the past couple days, Rumble, which is basically YouTube for Nazis, and Well, I've never... Have we talked about Rumble before?
No, we haven't.
Rumble's just a right-wing... No, we've mentioned Rumble several times on this podcast.
Yeah, but we've never dug deep into Rumble.
But Rumble is a right-wing video platform.
I mean, in fact, the elevator pitch of YouTube for Nazis pretty well covers it.
That's probably why Rumble is on TV.
Yeah, I think.
Nailed it.
And so, like, Rumble has come out and said they will offer Joe Rogan a hundred million dollars to- Do they?
Oh my god, how- that's so- such a bummer.
Rumble has that kind of money?
I don't know that they actually do, but I mean, they're- they're gonna pretend that they do at the very least, or I'm sure they'll offer Rogan, like, equity in the company to try to, uh, like, make it, uh, like, um, Make- make their valuation up to a hundred million dollars for him.
So they're just like, Joe!
Join Rumble!
And you can put all those horribly racist episodes back on!
And be great!
And, um... Like, and the, um...
And now the QAnon right-wing world is talking about how, like, uh, Rogan should never have apologized to the woke mob, because once you give them an inch, they take a mile, they'll never truly accept him, they're gonna keep canceling him.
Correct.
And accurate.
As long as he keeps doing stupid shit, people are gonna continue to be angry at him.
Jon Stewart got in on it and was like, we shouldn't, like, censor Joe Rogan, we should engage with him.
And it's just like, uh, You sure, bud?
You sure about that?
He can change.
I mean, he hasn't bothered to try to change in 20 years, but he still has the capacity to change, according to Jon Stewart.
Yeah.
Yeah, he sure does.
That was just your feel about Senator Manchin.
Or Tucker Carlson.
I mean, it turns out that, like, yes, we should give people a second shot, but if they've been doing their thing for, like, 20 years or whatever, it still seems like they are, like, not super keen.
It's not even just, like, Joe Rogan keeps, like, putting his foot in his mouth and he's just like, aw, shucks, I did it again, it's so hard not to say the N-word or whatever.
Like, a lot of the times he's actively, like, he'll be, like, using Like transgender slurs or whatever.
And the bit that he'll be engaging with whoever he's got on his show will just be like, can you imagine these things are going to get cancelled over just saying this word?
Isn't it crazy that we can't do accents or funny, characterized accents of foreign people?
Yeah, it's so funny.
The whole bit is them just being like, fucking woke culture,
making it so that I can't do my funny Chinese accent.
And it's like, dawg, yeah man, you can't do it.
And when you bring it up in this context, it makes you seem like a real piece of shit.
And then also you just go for it anyway.
I mean, in the context of the bit.
Which is like, can you put like, Jerry Seinfeld just being like,
you don't believe you can't say certain words?
For instance, let me list some!
And do they just start saying, like, slurs?
Like, that doesn't give you a free pass.
That's not how comedy works.
Right, yeah.
That's called punching down.
Oh, yeah.
There are so many clips of Rogan saying all those horrible things, as Elle just stated.
But the other clip that's come out that is very revelatory was at the start of this whole pandemic, Rogan is interviewing a medical expert.
I forget their name, but he's interviewing them.
And they're just like, man, when we get a vaccine for this virus, it is going to be a game changer.
It's going to save so many lives.
It's going to turn the ship of society.
Back around, we're going to avoid that iceberg and we're going to be in such a better place after we get that vaccine.
And these anti-vaxxers, they're really bad for society and they're hurting us.
And Rogan's like, yeah, man, vaccines are so good.
And it's weird that people are so against them.
I just don't understand it.
And it's just like, that was Rogan like two years ago at the start of COVID.
And now Rogan today, Is having a guy fact-check him in real time about the dangers of mitocarditis vis-a-vis the vaccine versus getting COVID directly.
And Rogan's just like, really?
Really?
COVID's worse for that heart condition than the vaccine is?
Are we talking about kids?
And then the guy's like, yeah.
The article even says from age 18 to age 13.
And then Rogan's like, what about really, really young kids?
And the guy's like, yeah, we have that too.
The vaccine's still way better than actually getting COVID.
And then Rogan's like, can we trust this paper?
And it's just that thing that drives people so mad about misinformation and conspiracy theories like this.
And this was something that like, Back when QAnon was, like, growing and building, I would have people DMing me, and they'd be like, hey man, can you give me, like, some, like, quick hints to debunk some stuff?
Because this person in my family has lost their goddamn mind, and if I just hit him with this information, it'll obviously shake him out of it.
And I would give him the debunk, and I would tell him, this will not shake them out of it.
Like, what you're hoping for, the silver bullet that you think this evidence is going to provide you, it will not provide you.
You're not going to get what you want out of this.
And they were just like, really?
And I'm like, yeah, it sucks.
But exposing misinformation to a person who believes in it does not make them rethink their position.
If anything, they double or triple down on it.
It sucks.
So I am so sorry for what is going on in your family and what you're dealing with.
It's good that you have the ability to counteract their misinformation, but don't think that's going to do anything more than just win you an argument with this person and maybe other people who see that argument on social media.
Like, wow, it's a good thing I'm not that crazy person who thinks that vaccines are bad because this guy really knew his stuff.
You're arguing for the crowd.
You are not arguing to change the mind of the person you're arguing with because they will not change their mind.
I love how the best case scenario for Joe Rogan's pivot from being just like vaccines are great to like I don't understand what the point of vaccines is or whatever.
Is it like the best case scenario is that he's selling out, right?
Like the best case scenario is that he's just changed his tune because he knows there's hundreds of millions of dollars in it?
Which is, like, cool and all.
I, too, would love a hundred million dollars.
Like, in fact, you could probably coax me to say a lot of things for one hundred million dollars.
But, like, a lot of the people that are his base right now love the, at least the idea of authenticity, right?
That's, like, the, like...
I love Donald Trump because he says what he means man he just tells it how it is bro like oh yeah that's just like that's just Trump being Trump and like giving us the real skinny like everyone's thinking it he's just saying it it's just like there's nothing really authentic about Joe Rogan at all either he sold out and he's just telling you don't does what you want to hear so that you can lubricate his wallet with cash or He is, like, an actual moron that can be swayed by the type of people who he interviews on the Joe Rogan Experience.
And he's just allowed his actual position on the matter to change over the course of two years, which means, why should anyone be giving him a platform?
Like, he had a bunch of white supremacists on there.
Are you telling me that if he lets enough white supremacists on his show, Joe Rogan will just be like, you know, I do think that whites are the best race, now that you think about it.
You know, you make a compelling argument.
I think white people do, like, contribute the most to culture.
Yeah!
Yeah!
And, like, the producers just, like, off-camera, just, like, no!
Joe Rogan, no!
No, don't do that!
Joe, shut up!
Shut up!
Joe, the rumble offer's down to 75 million, Joe!
Their number would only increase if he started preaching truth to white power, you know what I mean?
He's just like, yeah, hey, welcome to the Joe Rogan experience, man, it's a real bummer that a Cuban rolled this cigar I'm smoking, because they are not white.
The only options are stupid or greedy.
I was watching, uh, I think it was Matt Binder, uh, on YouTube.
So what is he? Is he just incredibly stupid or is he just a sellout? Either way, that's
the sort of person that you should be letting pied piper you.
Right. The only options are stupid or greedy. I was watching, I think it was Matt Binder
on YouTube. What was like, here's basically he showed this like wall of like Jimmy Dore's
like latest YouTube content. And Jimmy Dore is like an angry lefty Bernie supporter kind
a guy that was just sick back in the day.
But now Jimmy Dore schtick is just pure anti-vax all day every day.
And he had like 12 thumbnails of various things that Jimmy Dore said.
Like one of them was like about politics and wasn't anti-vax.
And it had so many less views than all the rest of them.
Like that one like stuck out aggressively.
It was like 10,000 views and like every other anti-vax video was like 30,000 views, 40,000 views, 45,000 views and it's just like this guy just went where the market took him.
Like this guy was just like, hey I have enough of a platform and enough subscribers on YouTube and I've established this credibility as a political pundit that YouTube won't pull the ban hammer down on me immediately for vaccine information if I pretend like I'm just asking questions.
So now I'm just going to pivot into this anti-vax community and, oh man, look at those ratings pop up.
Oh man, now my monetization, now I'm making like 50 bucks a video instead of five bucks a video.
Score, baby!
So I mean, it's just, that is, it's really awful that we have like a financial incentive for people to just start literally lying to people and encouraging them to die.
Which is what is happening here with all of this anti-vax shit.
Anyone who's telling you anything about, like, maybe the vaccine isn't that great is encouraging you to risk your own life.
That's it.
They're trying to sell you something and it's probably Ivermectin or their doctor that will give you Ivermectin.
Because there's so many, there's a bunch of those like grift doctors out there that are willing to prescribe it, so.
I love the idea that the government is essentially providing the vaccine and all this COVID shit for free.
And then these people are just like, no, I would rather part with my hard-earned money to purchase this snake oil from this lunatic on the internet.
I want to buy Alex Jones' supplements of whatever.
Oh man, these supplements are gonna make you ripped as fuck.
You won't even know, bro.
They're just like, oh, I thought these were the hair care supplements.
I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
He's like, oh no, no, they'll also do that.
Oh, you better, but you'll be the buffest, hairiest person you know.
Kevin Sorbo tweeted out, because in celebrities that continue to like disappoint me, he tweeted out if the If the vaccine is life-saving and it's free, why isn't insulin and chemo?
And it's like, oh, Kevin.
You're so close to the fucking point.
Yeah.
I mean, you're coming at it from a really weird angle.
But yeah, man, that's a good question.
Yeah, that is a fantastic question.
That's a dynamite question.
You're just like, hey, man, if if fucking like chemo and insulin should be free, like, isn't it sort of crazy that like you're not really guaranteed to be able to eat food on any given day or whatever?
Isn't this sort of fucked up?
Yeah.
Why?
Isn't it crazy that you could work full time and like not afford an apartment?
We require children to go to school and then make them pay for their food there.
That's kind of baffling.
Goddammit, there's so many... I have to make sure to appeal to a very large portion of the liberal demographic.
Isn't it fucked up that you have to pay your student loans back?
Isn't that shit wild?
It's fucking so crazy.
Just make that shit free immediately.
Priority number one, Mr. Sorbo, make our college free.
And then we can get to the whole for-profit healthcare thing and all the rest of it.
Yeah, it's so wild how people like Sorbo and all this stuff.
I love that QAnon is now so massively in favor of workers' rights when it comes to not having to take the vaccine.
These are the people that are like, Fuck unions!
They're crippling our economy!
Everyone's just laying around doing nothing and getting high off the hog while they're poor!
Benevolent billionaire owners have to pay them these exorbitant wages due to unions!
And then, cut to three years later, a billionaire owner wants to issue a vaccine mandate, and they're just like, no!
No, Mr. Billionaire Owner!
We do want Amazon employees to literally have to piss where they're standing into a bottle in order to make quota on their products for the day, but you telling them they need to get a shot so they can't transmit a deadly virus, that's where we draw the line.
That's where a collective...
That's where collective labor needs to have a voice against you, Jeff Bezos, you piece of shit.
And it's just like, why can't they collectively bargain for higher wages or healthcare or anything other than just not wanting to take a vaccine?
Because all of that is the death of freedom in America.
But avoiding the vaccine, maximum freedom.
Maximum freedom-ology.
Also, Amazon Prime is raising their prices by $20 or whatever, and all the reports I've seen online and headlines have just been like, oh yeah, that's fine.
I mean, it's been a while since they did it.
And it's just like, Jeff Bezos is worth like $400 billion or whatever.
Oh, sorry, there's no other way we could possibly cover the increasing cost of shipping.
Yeah!
Jeff Bezos could do that.
He could just drop 100 billion of his dollars worth of stuff and fix a lot of problems.
A lot of his workers don't even have comprehensive healthcare.
Nope.
He could just, like, wave his hand and give everyone in America healthcare.
Or, like, you know that big, like, infrastructure deal that, like, just fell through or whatever because people are idiots?
Yeah, built back better.
He could just, like, wave his hand if he wanted to with just $100 billion, like, infrastructure the shit out of this country.
Make the roads safer for my sweet delivery trucks because you guys won't let me do drone delivery yet.
Yeah.
And it's just like, yeah, okay, well, yeah.
The point is, as always, that we are going to continue to hate the ultra-rich until the moment we become rich, in which case we are going to start hating the poors, because that is what you do.
Right.
Yeah.
Once I hit the tax bracket where the government really starts squeezing me for that tiny, tiny fraction extra, I'm going to be like, ooooh, ooooh.
I'm going to be so angry.
Oh yeah.
Al is always one bit away from turning into a professional wrestler.
Right on, brother.
Ooooooooh!
Wooo!
Woooo!
Oh, man.
Yeah, so Joe Rogan is an idiot.
If you know anybody that supports him, scold them.
Shame them.
Tell them that their opinions are bad and they should feel bad.
Even if it's your mother or whatever, just be like, Mom, your opinion's fuckin' blow.
You really need to shape up.
He really fucked this one up, Mom.
My mom watches Bill Maher all the time, and I'm like, Mom, he sucks.
You really need to stop doing that.
Yeah, she figured it out recently.
She was a little late to the party, but she got there on Bill Maher, so good on you, Mom, for figuring that out.
You just slowly crashed into her with your reminder that Bill Maher sucks before she shaped up.
It was like, oh, right.
Yes.
Don't get me wrong.
We've all loved bad media in the past.
We've all loved media that is bad and or problematic for various reasons.
You can get out of that hole.
So shame anyone you know who likes Joe Rogan.
Shame them.
Walk them through the streets naked, ringing a bell behind them.
Yeah, and then go on to be surprisingly attractive in Ted Lasso.
What?
I was so shocked.
I was just like, I was like, bro, like, I did not know that Shame Nun was like the actual, like, pinnacle of what, like, the Greeks imagined their goddesses to look like.
Tall, broad-shouldered, just incredibly statuesque.
I was like, what is going on?
Yeah, that was an odd revelation for me as well.
And good honor, good honor for finding a meteor role.
It's a tremendous opportunity.
I mean, Ted Lasso, who knew?
I mean, man, it's a shame that we only got that one season, but boy... So let's pivot from talking about Joe Rogan, who sucks, to something that definitely doesn't suck, just kidding, truckers.
Before this, because of the way the world is right now, I feel like truckers in general were sort of like getting their redemption arc.
They were like one comedian away from doing a viral bit to redeem them a la Guy Fieri in the eyes of the regular person.
Because let's be honest, truckers, there's a lot of stigma about the American trucker.
Like, rest stops are not a place you want to go to because of what truckers do there.
So, like, I feel like they were very close to their redemption arc because it was suddenly just like, oh yeah, COVID.
Like, man, they have to work such long hours and that shit is so dangerous.
Like, man, truckers, they really have it rough.
And then these Canadian fucks have to go and start fucking it up for everybody.
So, once again, I have to call upon you, Mike Rains, to tell us some tales about Canadian truckers.
And apparently, the American convoy dream.
Yeah, so the Canadian truckers are now engaged in what is a very weird, bizarro world version of Occupy Wall Street in Ottawa right now, where they are engaged in what is no longer a convoy, but is now an occupation and a sit-down kind of protest where Um, they have stated that this thing all started where they're like, we're against the vaccine mandates for truckers.
We're just sick of government overreach and argle bargle.
And now it's devolved into this thing where they basically want to hang out in Ottawa until Trudeau resigns and like the, The Canadian government is a left-wing alliance between Trudeau's party and other smaller liberal parties, and they basically want those people to give up and let the Conservative Party of Canada run the country.
And then after our new government is established, that new government will abolish all vaccine mandates everywhere for everything, and the masks mandates, and Canada will be free!
Hooray!
Again, for the record, most Canadian truckers have gotten the vaccine.
Right.
This group is a small minority of truckers that have been created out of whole cloth from a bunch of different people, some of whom run the right-wing fringe parties in Canada.
Others are just outright grifters.
This is basically the dog that's caught the car.
They really didn't know what they were doing.
And then they got momentum.
Their GoFundMe got up to $10 million.
And then was cruelly ripped away from them because what they're doing is probably a crime.
Well, no.
They were upgraded to official crime by law enforcement, at which point they got their monies taken away, as was the legal right of GoFundMe or whatever.
They were given the first million because on the GoFundMe, they had a stated plan for how they were going to distribute and use the money.
So they were given a million, the people who started the first GoFundMe.
After that, GoFundMe and it became more and more crime.
After that, GoFundMe said, no, because this is a crime and we're not going to support that anymore.
But so they did get whoever organized it did get a million dot, dot, dot.
But not, not any after that.
The other nine million.
And that's where a lot of the, uh, the crypto sphere and the QAnon idiots are like, GoFundMe doesn't have the right to not give this money that they never, like, they never gave in the first place.
Maybe they would have, like, something to hang their hat on, except for the fact that GoFundMe was just like, everybody's money is being refunded.
Don't worry.
Oh, yeah.
We're not taking any of it.
It's all going back to you.
Fucking believe it.
But yeah, I mean, GoFundMe, of course, like literally the moment any law enforcement agency was just like, we think there might be some illegal stuff going on here, that like, they just perfectly within their rights just be like, that violates our terms of service, and therefore we don't need to give you shit.
So, the first thing that was happening, once GoFundMe said they were suspending the account, was QAnon and other right-wingers were talking about, if you file a fraud claim... It's a lawsuit.
Well, they were first talking about the class action lawsuit, because that's the default reaction to everything for these people, is sue somebody.
And the problem with that is for those suckers is that they're always going to find a lawyer who is willing to lie to them and tell them, oh yeah, a lawsuit's a great idea, and my fee is only 20%.
And by the way, I need a quarter million up front for this.
So they always have a sucker willing to be scammed by a lawyer into filing a lawsuit.
Their other plan was that if you file a stop payment on your credit card or something, or you tell your bank that GoFundMe illegally charged you, their belief was every transaction would have a $15 fee that GoFundMe would get hit with.
And that we could potentially jack up like tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars on payback fees to GoFundMe in an effort to like break them and bankrupt the corrupt and evil GoFundMe.
That's not how this works.
That's not how any of this works.
And of course, when GoFundMe came out, as Al said, it was like, hey everybody, you're getting your money back, just hold your horses for a few minutes while we go through this $9 million of money, and we will get it back to you, toot sweet.
Then QAnon and other people were like, we did it!
Victory!
We made GoFundMe bend the knee to our threat of a lawsuit and our chargeback scams.
And it's like, no, there was a lot of press on this.
GoFundMe was always going to do this.
Anyways, you actually achieved nothing, because you'll never achieve anything.
Good day, sir.
Oh yeah.
And now, while this is all happening in GoFundMe land, which is like the actual, relevant, solid, trustworthy place to go to give people money for projects or whatever, they got some medical bills because like, America's healthcare system again!
Fucking terrible.
GiveSendGo, which is the right-wing grift version of GoFundMe, immediately... GiveSendGo, yuck!
Oh, GiveSendGo is even better than you could possibly imagine, because not only can you give money or share links to the person who needs the money, who'll be like, hey, I can't help you out with money, but I can, like, post your money drive to, like, social media, try to help you out with some exposure and visibility.
They also have a button that allows you to pray for the person.
So if you can't kick in a few shekels or you can't give him some social media exposure, you can let him know that you're sending his word to the big guy in the sky that you're on their side and hopefully he'll get those wallets open for him.
I love how for every platform that's successful, But catering to people that aren't just conservative monsters, there's some sort of evil doppelganger knockoff version that's like RC Cola with an evil goatee on it.
It both tastes off-brand and also is evil.
Oh my god.
Yeah, it's like for every six-pack of evil RC Cola you buy, we will make sure that an uncut ring of plastic six-pack holders is thrown into the ocean so that dolphins and turtles and fish can get trapped in it and die.
Now with cut-proof rings on our six-pack.
Like, when you dispose of this, it is practically guaranteed to murder some wildlife.
Yeah, now with guaranteed dolphin-filled cans.
Like, these cans aren't just filled with dolphins.
We need to kill all of those animals so that they sink to the bottom and eventually return to the earth and become oil down the line.
Precious fucking oil.
So, Rumble is Nazi YouTube, and Gibson Go is right-wing Nazi GoFundMe.
What's, uh... Is there an evil us?
Is there an evil...
The Joe Rogan experience.
There are 10 million versions of Evil Us.
Do not pull on that thread because I'm sure so many of them are way more successful than we are.
Oh god, yeah.
What's really hilarious was literally last night I saw some right-wing grifter announce that they had created a Nazi PayPal called Patriots So that you can make all of your, uh, you can pay your fellow right-wingers who are not allowed on PayPal or Venmo or Cash App or any other relevant, uh, payment transfer and services.
Um, with Patriots, you can get your Nazi bros their, their fliff so that they can continue running their scams.
I bet it's just like, and also we only do crypto, so it's all untraceable.
Don't worry, bros.
No one's gonna get you.
Wink.
And the best part about that is that literally for the past year, Torba, the guy who runs Gab, has been bragging about GabPay as the true Nazi alternative to PayPal.
So I'm sure Torba is furious today that there's patriots coming out there to try to siphon off of his Nazi payment processing grift.
And that we now have two versions of that in the right wing.
So it's just incredible, this desperate attempt to create, again, the off-brand Nazi form of actual mainstream services.
That we have this niche market that these people just feel a desperate need to cater to, It's wild, it's just really... Also, surprisingly, the Canadian Trucker fiasco, it's led by the fascist evil Arsicola version of Optimus Prime.
In a stunning twist.
I mean, I know the actual name of evil Optimus Prime.
But this isn't just evil Optimus Prime, this is white nationalist Optimus Prime.
And I know his name too, because it's white-imus pride.
I am Vitamiss Prime.
And I just don't think I should have to take that poison jab.
Bro, you're a robot.
You don't have any dog in this race.
I just really believe in freedom.
Your Vitamiss Prime sounds a lot like Richard Nixon.
I'm good with it.
LEAVING WHITAMIS PRIME!
No you're not, you're just Richard Nixon!
You're not even in a truck, you're in a car!
Joke!
Shut up!
Oh my god.
Okay, well, leaving Whitamis Prime behind, let's go ahead and talk about somebody who feels like we never talk about him on the podcast anymore.
Fuck, I wish we had more headlines about Donald Trump.
So, uh, what the fuck did this buffoon do this time around?
Uh, so, uh, besides the fact that Trump is continuing to, uh, argue that, uh, you know, Mike Pence totally could have overturned that election if he wasn't a gutless coward, um, And we've actually had dueling commentaries between Pence and Trump about that issue.
I mean, can we just fucking, like, this is the world we live in in 2022, where it's literally the former vice president and the former president getting into an argument over whether or not the vice president could have illegally stolen the election for the president.
And with the Vice President just being like, no, I could never do that.
That's not how that works.
That is not a power I have.
In charge is being like, of course you could!
You had the power!
If only you knew how to wield it!
You were the chosen one!
And then, in order to sort of nip this one in the bud, then you've got these other people poking their little heads out from the side just being like, I don't think that's true, because if that's true, they couldn't have come all and just do that this time around?
And they're like, shut up, you!
Don't you go bringing reality into this thing!
Donald Trump's just like, I don't give a fuck, everyone needs to know that Pence is the reason I'm not president anymore.
It's just like, man.
I really wish that the Democrats had the balls to pull that shit.
That shit's weird.
After four years of Trump being like, Pence could have just appointed whoever he wanted president.
Vice President's got the power of a god.
Kamala Harris is just like, well, in a weird twist of fate, the American public has apparently decided that they want Donald Trump's president again.
But yeah, fuck that.
Joe Biden is done.
I'm riding with Biden.
Throw it up.
Deuces.
I'm out.
Oh, that would be the greatest thing in the world if Trump won and then Kamala Harris was like, hey, Trump said Pence could do this, so I can do this.
Biden wins.
Eat it, fools.
Boom.
It's just done.
You hear the last scene from The Matrix?
Yeah.
It's just Pence.
I had the power all along to make him president.
You just see Pence boringly rocket into the sky.
Dead face, no expression.
That's when he does his people's eyebrow rock style heel turn.
It comes out and like just gives brofist to Biden and they're like blowing it up on stage and get real rowdy with it.
They do like an elaborate handshake.
It's just like, yeah!
Like, Pence is just like, this is the president.
The president's just like, yeah, we reprogrammed Pence here a while ago to operate under our secret command.
He's been a double agent the whole time.
It's just like, didn't any of you idiots study American, like, the American system in your schools?
Of course the vice president just gets to choose who the president is.
It's always been the way.
You always get to pick the master you serve.
That's the way it works.
OH MY GOD!
That pinch just runs in.
Kid John comes in and hits him with a chair.
Topical!
But so beyond this kerfuffle over is the vice president secretly actually a dictator in
America?
Now, the January 6th committee has come out and been like, oh yeah, by the way, Trump
destroyed a ton of his records, which is a direct violation of the Presidential Records
Act.
And there are like 15 boxes of presidential records in Mar-a-Lago, which he was not allowed
to take out of the White House.
I read that.
They're like, uh, there's a lot of these records in Mar-a-Lago.
You know you're not supposed to do that, right?
Who, me?
How would I know?
Being president is so confusing.
I can't move this box over here.
I can't do this.
I can't subtly threaten Ukraine with a phony investigation of Biden without getting impeached.
What's going on?
I mean, there's so many stupid rules.
I've just had it with you people.
I've just had it with you people and the crazy standards you try to impose upon your president.
Isn't your president just supposed to be a lawless dictator who does whatever he pleases?
Why wouldn't have run for this job if it wasn't that?
I mean, I didn't know.
So, again, because QAnon lives in a world where, literally, if news is happening and they like it, then the plan is coming to fruition.
And if news comes out and they don't like it, then it's a trap for the Democrats.
And I've seen people's reactions being, oh, they're mad about Trump moving these documents?
Well, now that they've brought light to that, I'm sure when we find out what Hillary and Bill and Obama and Biden And I even saw someone make reference to Jimmy Carter.
They're like, once we dig up all the files they've hidden, we'll see what they've been up to.
Isn't Jimmy Carter dead?
Nope, still alive.
Like, one million years old, but still truckin'.
So, yeah, Carter's like 94.
He's incredibly... I mean, I'm happy to find out I was wrong, but... Yeah, but 94 and about to spend his last few years on this rock in prison.
Carter's about to go to Gitmo.
We're finally going to get him for his litany of crimes that was being mostly forgotten about one term president back in the day, who managed to barely beat the guy who pardoned Nixon for Watergate.
That was...
Man, it doesn't always have to be Nixon!
Awoo!
Awoo!
Man, Futurama.
Yeah, Futurama Nixon will always be by Nixon.
Unless the Vice President says otherwise.
Vice President also gets to pick Nixon.
Yeah, to Nixon, pick him.
Actually, a lot of this QAnon, the Vice President gets to pick the President bullshit came from Richard Nixon when he ran for the presidency and lost to JFK in 1960.
There was a little hitch in the election when it came to Hawaii Where the original vote said that Nixon won it, but on a recount, Kennedy won Hawaii, and when Nixon had to chair the meeting, as Pence did, because Nixon was Vice President under Eisenhower at the time, so Nixon had to chair the meeting where he had to confirm that he had lost to JFK, and during that meeting, he had the electoral votes for Hawaii.
Like, literally, they gave him the certificate that said Nixon won, But he knew that on the recount Kennedy had won. So Nixon
was like, hey, everybody at the electoral college thing back in 1960
This is really fucking boring and nobody wants to be here So if you're all cool with it, I'm gonna give Jack the
electoral votes from Hawaii. No one opposes great boom It's done. And by the way Kennedy's president now, I want
to get the fuck out of here. Boom done You just you just want to listen to himself lose, right?
He didn't want to listen to himself lose But by by being a bro and doing Kennedy a solid and giving
him the Hawaii electoral votes, which he knew Kennedy had won but they hadn't gone through the paperwork
for watching.
Praying Medic and a bunch of other QAnon shitheads were like, Nixon did this!
It is proof that the Vice President can just willy-nilly give electoral votes to whoever they want to!
And it's like, if you actually, again, read the transcript, Nixon asks for unanimous consent and gets it, because nobody wants to be there.
Until 2021, the Electoral College certification was the most boring meeting in Congress ever, And everybody wanted it to end very quickly.
It was only when Team Trump came up with this fucking, the election was stolen from us bullshit, that suddenly the Electoral College certification became Can't Miss TV.
And oh yeah, by the way, we had riots and an attempted violent coup, and all that other fun and frivolity that happened.
And all that legitimate political discourse.
Yes!
Legitimate political discourse!
So legitimate.
The fact that Mitch McConnell had to come out yesterday I think And be like, no, that was not legitimate political discourse.
What Mitt Romney's niece, or whatever the relationship between Ronna and Mitt is, yeah, the shit she was saying, I, Mitch McConnell, literal Palpatine, evil monster of the Republican Senate, I don't condone that.
I don't think that was cool.
I just love that Mitch McConnell gives no fucks about the QAnon caucus.
I love that he's just sort of like, I'm Senator for life, you QAnon idiots cannot cost me my seat, I'm ensconced in power, I'm going to leave the Senate feet first because I'm a million years old already, and I won re-election in 2020, so I've got a million years in front of me before I have to run for re-election again.
So no, I can actually be the guy that's like, no, That shit was wrong and it was bad and I'm never gonna run for president because I'm Mitch McConnell.
I could never win the presidency.
Because there's no term limit for senators.
Nope, there's no term limit for senators.
Presidents rise and fall like tides around me.
I'm Mitch McConnell.
I'm eternal until I'm not.
It's just so funny to me that like You actually have a few Republicans out there poking up their little turtle heads and starting to give a little push back to the whole cult of Trump that we have that's absorbed the Republican Party so much.
Well, I mean, they're running short on time to get to the point where they could put up anyone else.
Like, you know, fucking new elections coming pretty fast.
So, like, They're gonna have to put their chips behind someone here in a minute, and I'm sure that a lot of them, regardless of what they say, would much rather it not be Trump again.
Oh, God!
Which, because he just lost.
But I mean, in addition to that, they've gotta just be like, wow.
There have to be enough people that are literally only...
monstrous because it furthers their own wallets and agendas or whatever but in their heart of hearts and brain of brains they know that Donald Trump is a fucking lunatic and that their fealty to him is like as temporary as can be like as soon as they the cracks start to form like Trump is gonna start bleeding supporters like crazy it's gonna be incredible look at Ted Cruz like Trump Trump bashed that guy over the head and called his wife ugly, and then he carried water for him for four years, and now that Trump's not around anymore, he's just like, oh yeah, Trump, fuck that guy.
Oh yeah, he'll bend the knee to Trump again.
I mean, everything about them is transactional, and it's just a question of, does Trump have the juice to get me what I want?
If so, I have to bend the knee to him, because he's the big man on campus.
The guy that Fox News and other people are trying to prop up to be the answer to Trump, DeSantis in Florida, during that whole Pence-Trump kerfuffle about can Pence overturn elections all willy-nilly or not, some reporter went up to DeSantis and was like, yo, Governor DeSantis, Trump versus Pence, who you got in this fight?
Who's right about this, bro?
And DeSantis could not answer.
DeSantis could not give an answer as to how the Constitution works.
And if the Vice President is allowed to overturn an election or not.
That is the level of jellyfish spinelessness that DeSantis has going for him.
It's incredible.
I mean, like, I really just can't imagine how any of these people think they're actually going to beat Trump if they can't stand up to him, even in the slightest, even on this most ridiculous of terms.
I mean, you could even go be like, look, man, There was a lot of weird things that happened in that election, and I have my own questions, but the Constitution's pretty clear-cut on this.
The Vice President can't be... But DeSantis couldn't even do that!
He couldn't even try to be like, now, now, Donny, now, now, I know you didn't get a fair shake, but the Constitution... Nope, nope, nope, totally spot on.
So I can't believe that this is the actual thing that I have to ask, but this is going to sound like a bit, and it may even be funny, but it is a genuine question.
Do we think that it would be it would behoove the Republican Party to find somebody that they could either that either naturally or they could shape into just being like, oh, what's my opinion on Donald Trump?
Fuck him.
He's a fat, weak, stupid old man that's bad for the Republican Party.
And I think that he sucks.
And I've always thought that he sucks.
But I do love the Republican Party and I love America and I love freedom and I hate the vaccine.
So let's go.
Like, because they really love Donald Trump's brash personality.
It's like the answer to getting rid of Trump for the Republicans is somebody who's willing to talk about Trump the way Trump would talk about anyone.
I do.
I think it is.
I really do believe that that is what they needed the whole time, but they're so scared of, like, the fact that they think that Trump has this iron grip on his voters and that there's no way to talk down to Trump without making those people angry sad.
I mean, it's so bizarre the way QAnon will do anything for Trump.
I mean, Trump comes out in favor of the vaccines that they think are killing people.
And QAnon promoters are like, you know, I'm kind of disappointed that Trump's promoting these vaccines this way.
And I'm kind of disappointed.
I'm kind of disappointed that Trump's asking me to kill my family.
I just, it's just the hoops they jump through is so wild.
But that is what the Republican Party needs.
They need like a new cult of personality that comes out and says, yo, Trump's a zero, get with the hero.
It's me.
the brass balls, just king tick, just the guy that's the man.
But I don't know who that person would be because most of the-
It's your boy, actual Republican.
Yeah, it's your boy, actual Republican.
Let's see if we can get Kid Rock to get out there and just be like, man.
Yeah.
Donald Trump might have been right on his border policy, but boy, I really hate the
way that he's too weak to walk up a ramp.
I think he's ugly and his wife was hot and I don't know what the deal is with that.
But hey, I mean, if she's looking for a new husband, Kid Rock is at the White House, baby.
Vote for me!
Um, yeah, I just, that would be, because you could go after him for losing to Biden.
You could say that he was the one that was too weak to prevent the election fraud and that you aren't strong.
You could just go after him for all the stuff that liberals like us have been doing.
Like, literally, you know, we love taking the piss out of Trump because, mostly because he's constantly doing it to other people, so we're just giving him a taste of his own medicine, but like, he is just like an old, doddering, Dude who can't really put sentences together very well and like clearly his finger is just not on the pulse of anything and he like served a bunch of Big Macs in the White House that one time or whatever like he's just a buffoon and it's easy to talk shit about him so if any Republican challenger dared have the balls to take a swing at the White House on the yo I'm just gonna talk shit about Donald Trump playbook uh I mean I guess I'll just holler at your boy like you can pay me
Like, a small amount of money to just be your, like, on-campaign, Trump is an idiot advisor.
Yeah, it's just... I mean...
I don't know.
I didn't think it would matter back in the grabbing-by-the-pussy days, but I thought that was the end of it, but who can say?
Because here we are.
Yeah, our Chad kid, Rock, is just being like, Donald Trump tries to grab my wife by the pussy,
I'm gonna blow his fucking brains out.
That's for Rock!
Yeah, you try to grab my wife, I got the Second Amendment on my side, then!
Yeah, oh.
It would be so easy, but they're such cowards.
I mean, this was a Republican Party that was so cowed, they couldn't tell people that Trump actually wasn't going to make Mexico pay for the wall.
They couldn't do it.
No one could tell them, now now everybody!
You, like, I know you want to believe in, like, superheroes and stuff, but no, the president can't make Mexico pay for a wall.
He actually can't do it.
And I just love that.
I just love that, like, we literally had a guy win a primary based on a fantasy.
I mean, when... Who got fooled by that?
What?
That never makes sense.
Racist.
Yeah.
Racists in the South.
Yeah.
The people that are more racist, the closer to a foreign country they get.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like when Democrats, when Bernie Sanders or anyone literally is like, I will provide Medicare for all, people's reaction is, how are you going to pay for it?
People ask questions.
Trump's just like, Mexico's going to pay for this wall.
And everyone's like, yeah, they will.
It sure will.
Donnie's just gonna get him in a room and be like, yo, you Mexicans are gonna pay for this wall, that's how it's gonna be, and Mexico's gonna be like, where do we sign the check, Mr. President?
Like, that's the fantasy world these primary voters live in, that just having Borado will make a foreign nation cave to you.
2028 Bernie Sanders, you know, hooked up to the machines that keep him operating, will just be like, and you know what, I'm gonna make Mexico pay for your college debt.
And people are going to be like, yay, Bernie Sanders!
Yay, we love you!
It's going to happen!
Bernie2028, how old can you go?
Okay, so real quickly, speaking of lame duck presidential candidates, do we want to talk about a lame duck A much lower level of government candidate in the form of our good friend Ron Watkins.
What is up with Roddy Watkins this week?
And this week's Watkins Watch!
I will put in a... That's way too much charisma.
That is way too much.
I'm gonna put in a ticket to Frosty for a voiceover, and I'm gonna expressly make it clear, he is to say this in the most dull, stilted monotone possible.
Have you ever been to Soapland?
Yes!
So Ron released a campaign video where he traipsed about what may be the Arizona deserts wearing a cowboy hat, but it wasn't his black Wagyu cowboy hat.
I guess the person he paid 50 bucks to be his like upholster and wanted to let him know how to his
fashion designer consultant was like black hat bad, white hat good.
And, and after about, like 40 seconds of absolutely sizzling promo, Ron encouraged people to join the the CMZ, which is
his name now for the Code Monkey Army, because he is he was
Code Monkey Z back when he had that as his handle. He then
listed very importantly on the graphic that the Code Monkey Army
is a nonviolent group. Because
Because apparently he's very worried that his volunteers are actual sociopaths who may do quote-unquote the bad thing if they are not strictly told not to do the bad thing while they're traipsing about Arizona canvassing for him.
To get signatures to get him on the ballot for the race.
Don't do the bad thing.
So after all of the video, at the end of the video, when you're running for office, you have to put in that whole, I'm Joe Biden and I approve this message, little stinger.
So Ron Watkins had to put in his little stinger at the end.
And boy howdy, I hope this was one take and we're good.
Because if this was multiple takes, holy shit.
Paid for and approved by Ron Watkins for Congress.
That was... Why does he sound like Napoleon Dynamite?
I don't think I've ever heard him talk.
Is that how he always sounds?
Yes.
100%.
That's why I was like, he's way too charismatic.
So my favorite part was during our production meeting, Mike was like, hey, I have this 50 second campaign ad from Ron Watkins.
Like, should we play it on the show?
And I was just like, no, that seems like a little bit long.
Let's just cut out the part.
Like, let's just cut it down to the meatiest part.
And Mike was like, okay, I think the funniest part's at the end.
Can you imagine having, can you imagine if we played 50 seconds of that man talking to our audience?
You mad lad!
Oh my god.
Dude, our Kickstarter, or Kickstarter, our Patreon would be bleeding.
Like, it would just, it would be like it got hit by a truck.
It would be bleeding so bad.
We feel like we should have 20 Patreons now.
It's so good.
I just love how totally devoid of charisma the man is.
That wasn't even a thing where he was doing an interview with someone and had to be prepped for it.
That was him in a studio, cutting, and that is basically what will be played at the end of every ad, official ad of his campaign.
That is the singer.
When these campaign seasons get hot and heavy at the end, and every third ad you see on TV is an attack ad from one presidential candidate against the other, it sears into your head the, I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.
I'm Donald Trump and I approve this message.
And you just hear it over and over and over again.
To just hear Ron Watkins gently silent, I'm Ron Watkins and this is my message.
I was like, oh my god.
What are you doing?
I mean, it's just... I mean, you can hardly tell that the guy spent a lot of time online, am I right?
You can hardly tell that the man communicates almost exclusively through text.
Yeah, it's almost unfathomable to believe, based on the way he sounds, that he would be the person to own a life-size anime girl statue.
You're like, what, that could be really?
That seems so weird.
I don't Habibit.
Geez.
He's the absolute worst.
But that's the sort of level of just, like, Complete Blatant Slay Charisma, where if you saw a news report of him being arrested for literally anything, you'd just be like, oh yeah, that makes total sense.
Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Rod Watkins, shown here, has allegedly been found with a house full of skin instruments.
We don't know what sort of skin it is, but at least some of it is human.
And you're like, yeah.
I mean, I'm sure he can't play any of the instruments, right?
Can we get?
No.
OK.
Musically untalented, but he just has them.
Like, yeah.
If Rod Watkins were to be arrested, and then you saw the police bring a backhoe into his backyard, you'd be like, yep.
That's a thing that would happen there.
Yeah, they're going to find a lot of stuff in that backyard.
I don't know what they're looking for, but she's been dead for a while.
So...
He don't.
Jesus.
Uh...
Well, I mean, I hope to God that he gets his political ass paddled as badly as he deserves to.
Oh, stick for another primary vote at best.
Oh my God.
I mean, but you know, also probably good for the podcast if he ends up crushing it somehow.
Either way, no matter who wins, we win.
That's what I'm hoping for, and it is the side of good.
Like, in this particular instance, the selling out equity is low enough where I'm still on the force of good.
Don't worry, you guys still have got your boy.
Oh, I will be in Arizona doing this podcast on location if Ron's the Republican nominee for that district.
I will be following that man around.
Someone will get me a press credential from somewhere.
I will make it happen.
But again, He's running against, like, four or five other people who actually know how to talk like a human being, so... I was gonna say that Arizona is the Rod Watkins of states, but while they're both very boring, at least Arizona's hot.
Boom.
Got him.
So, on that hot, spicy zinger, let's go into our mailbag for the week.
Sounds like a plan.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So, a quick one to start here, because it's just QAnon lore, is Wendy Ossity asks, what does 5 colon 5 mean?
And the answer to that is it's just, it's trucker talk, or radio talk for- Oh, 5 by 5?
Yeah, 5 by 5.
It means loud and clear, because it's a scale where 1 to 5 is like, how loud is the transmission, and 1 to 5, and the other side is, how clear is the transmission?
And QAnon appropriated it into some weird sort of nonsense- So wait, just so I know, so a 1-1 would be garbled and quiet?
Yes, exactly.
Because I also did not know what this meant and didn't even know it was a thing.
Yeah, so 1-1 is terrible, we gotta do something about these radios, whereas 5-5 is awesome!
Everything's going great!
And Q started using that in their Q-drops, and then it just sort of took on a life of its own, and basically just like yelling, 5-5!
It's just like, we're kicking ass!
So you're saying that the QAnon and Shrucker community have been tight since long before this kerfuffle over the facts?
Yes, yes.
We have not broken new ground between the truckers and QAnon.
See, and that is why they needed that redemption arc that they were on track for before they went and fucked it up by hating the vaccine in Canada.
But only a small amount of them.
But a small amount of them being, like, literally criminally loud about it.
Yeah.
What?
People isolated in their trucks all day are prone to believing in conspiracy theories?
So weird.
Yeah, basically, I just checked the Q archives, and 5-5 is in 22 drops, and the basic gist of it is that Q will look at something and be like, hey, this is a message from someone rich and powerful, probably a member of Congress trying to tell us something.
What are they trying to tell us?
5-5!
I hear you loud and clear, bro!
Devin Nunes harvesting some corn?
5-5!
I got you!
I know what that corn harvest means!
So that's just this dumb thing, is that Q is basically telling people, we're getting comms from the outside world.
I love the idea that Q is decoding messages, and he's just like, so it takes me, the man with the magic peepstone, to decode the message, and the message is, the message is loud and clear.
It's loud enough and clear enough for exactly me to tell you idiots what the message is.
Exactly.
It's a magic peepstone.
Fucking so stupid.
What a bunch of clowns.
These clowns.
Those clowns in Curidon did it again.
Boy, those clowns.
So now we can go around the table here because we have three questions that are actually tailored to one of each of us.
Oh my god.
Adorian Shran asks more of a behind the scenes question.
Has the podcast received any backlash for El normalizing physical relations with Bovert?
And they have a gift of maybe you can do that.
Maybe you could do that.
I couldn't.
Uh, I mean, not as far as I know if we caught any flack.
Also, I wouldn't say that I'm normalizing it, right?
I always refer to it as a shameful attraction.
Like, that's literally just like a chemical thing that happens, like, as information gets to my brain from my eyes, and then my body determines to send that information to my penis.
And I have no control over that.
I just, like, I would vastly prefer to find her as physically repugnant as I do, you know, politically repugnant.
The sad fact is I still find her quite attractive.
But only physically.
And it is shameful.
I'm not trying to normalize anything.
It is a shame onto me that my body reacts this way.
Do as I say, not as I do.
Did you see that Brandon dress?
I mean, come on guys.
Like, she wore that dress pretty nice, I'm just gonna say.
It'd be hard to look at that and just be like, ugh, yuck.
I mean, not if you're being honest with yourself and are attracted to that particular shape.
So next up, Sarge is on the docket from Pancake Peasants.
Professor Sarge, did the pandemic spawn any new cryptid stories or lore?
If not, did it alter or add to any of the classics?
Prenzies, Bigfoot, Nessie, Mothman, etc.
Not that I've seen.
I mean, I follow, like Mothman started spreading out from West Virginia.
They were seeing it in other states, and that was right before No, not that I've seen.
I mean, the more nuanced answer is the pandemic itself, COVID-19, is its own cryptid.
There's so many stories and legends about the what the disease is and where it came from.
It's kind of its own cryptid in a way, in a very- Yeah, especially because the truth of it
just ends up being like benign, scientifically provable stuff.
Yeah.
So, no- Because we got cryptids.
Oh shit, there's a monster in Loch Ness.
Nah man, that's just like waves and sometimes a stick.
Like, you're good.
No, no alters to the classics.
Nothing fun like that.
I'm sorry to say.
Up your game, cryptid community!
But does that count?
Does that count our own?
our own modifications to the cannon like a woke mothman.
Yeah, a woke mothman.
Is woke mothman, did woke mothman get his booster?
Absolutely!
So Woke Mothman got fully vaccinated including boosters just by not needing it because his monstrous body makes him immune to disease and viruses.
He did it just to get the card that said he was vaccinated.
Yeah, he did it for clout.
He wants his passport so that he can go see like, you know, fucking folk musicians as they roll through in like hipster coffee shops.
Yeah.
He's gonna go, he's gonna go catch Joanna Newsom at the Knitting Factory or whatever.
I think the Knitting Factory actually closed down, which is a bummer.
And I don't know what Joanna Newsom is up to, but if she's still making her fucking wretched music, then good on her.
Shut on, you crazy diamond!
Yeah, I mean, it's not for me, but for the people who it's out there for, I'm glad that they might be getting more of it.
Or if they're not getting any more of it, then sucks for them.
I feel bad for them.
But luckily I don't have to hear any more of it.
And finally, Club Zero asks, for poker, any favorite moments from dealing that stand out to you?
Big wins or jerks getting their comeuppance, etc.?
I think the story that most sticks out in my mind was the dude from Mars that I dealt to a million years ago.
That's right, folks.
Dr. Manhattan.
He went on a heater.
He couldn't lose.
I was literally about to say he couldn't lose.
The dealer that was previously at the table was a roommate of mine, and when you walk over to a table, you give the dealer a tap on the shoulder, let him know that you're coming in.
And then he gets up and he says to me, you're the only person who's going to be able to hear that guy's voice.
And he points to the guy and I'm just like, that guy's on like one of the end table, end seats of the table.
There's like, that guy has to like shout through like three or four people to get to my ears.
How, how am I the only one that can hear this guy?
So I give him a few hands and nothing's going on.
And then suddenly that guy puts out a raised preflop and people are folding and it's going around the table and then I hear the guy in this incredibly high-pitched voice say, I hope everybody folds because I have a monster.
And I'm just like, why do you want everyone to fold?
Why do you not want to win money?
What is your thought process here?
And also, again, because his voice is like a dog whistle, nobody hears him and two people call him.
And okay, so now the pot's like $150 preflop in a very small stakes game because this guy made a really stupid preflop raise.
But it's Vegas.
People are drunk and stupid.
It's silly money.
I put down the flop.
And the guy, it's his first act, and again in his dog whistle voice he announces, I'm going to bet the maximum.
So he's just all in.
He has just declared himself to go all in, because that's what the maximum bet is.
And then he pauses for a moment and says, in my mind, Which is $50.
And then he puts out a $50 bet, and nobody else at the table heard any of that speech that he gave.
Literally, all they saw was his mouth flapping, and then he slid $50 into the pot after like a minute.
And I'm just like, I don't even know what to do here.
Do I try to correct what this man just said?
Do I make him go all in?
And everyone folded and he won.
It was just the most bizarre thing.
Is this man a genius?
I don't even know.
He's like my hero.
Yeah, he only spoke again, like, in one other time in the hand, and he just, like, made a passing comment about how he really needed to, like, make his hand on the turn or something, otherwise he was going to fold, and that's exactly what happened.
So he was just audibly announcing what his hand was, but apparently because he was just on this, he knew that his own voice couldn't be heard by human ears, It didn't matter.
His talking just didn't matter.
It was the most bizarre thing I've ever dealt with at a table.
It was so strange.
I dealt to a bunch of big names, people you saw on television.
The vast majority of them were jerks.
Chris Moneymaker was a nice guy because he was playing low stakes and he tipped me.
But beyond that, that was the most absolutely screwed up event that I've ever been a part of at a table.
So yeah, so thank you for the question.
Snorlaxcpap asks, putting my tinfoil hat on for this one, but I'm starting to think someone is behind Ron Watkins running for office.
Any opinions?
I need to get outside more.
If there was like a Peter Thiel-like evil mastermind behind Ron Watkins, A, his campaign approval message would be better, and B, he would have more than $30,000 in the bank for his campaign.
I think this is just pure narcissism and the fact that he thinks he can do it.
If he had a sugar daddy, he'd be doing a lot better than he's currently doing right now.
Yeah, I mean, that seems like the most obvious, like, you know, telling indicator of somebody not having a giant bankroll behind them is their utter failure.
I mean, it's not always a guarantee, right?
Like, even our good friend the Walt Disney Corporation, it puts out a John Carter every once in a while, and it doesn't matter how endless the profits are.
Or Warner Brothers will put out a The Matrix Resurrections.
Boom, got him.
that's a little more topical than John Carter.
But, you know, generally funneling a bunch of money into a thing sort of guarantees a certain level of success
that I don't think we've met the bar for in this instance.
Yeah, I think if there was a shadowy person bankrolling Ron, they probably would have been able to clear the primary
field a little bit easier by letting people know
that Ron was the chosen avatar for this gig.
And that absolutely didn't happen.
Yeah, it's Jim.
Jim is Jim and Ron.
Yeah, Jim and Ron are bankrolling Ron.
Yeah, with his $3,000 loan.
Daddy broke the piggy bank, but sonny boy's gonna pay it back.
I love that.
He didn't even give his kid three dimes.
He loaned him three dimes.
So thank you for the question.
Cleodora Silvestri says, NFTs are pyramid schemes.
Asks, do any of the Americans who drove up to Canada to be a part of the Omnicron, Omnicronvoy, Texas and Confederate flags, have enough self-awareness to realize they're part of a similar threat to Canada that they screamed was happening to the United States from the South?
No, they absolutely do not have any such self-awareness.
I mean, the difference is they're white, and I'm sure they would be happy to tell you that.
Yes, absolutely.
We can't be up to no good.
We're white.
Yep.
Like it's simple as that.
Like they drove up there with all their rebel flags and they're just like, we're going to support our trucker brothers.
And it's like, again, it's not the majority of you.
All the union truckers got the vaccine.
Well, I don't give a shit about them Canadian boys.
I just want to meet white and miss pride.
Exactly.
Is it Magatron or is he a good guy?
Because he would absolutely have to be incredibly liberal.
He doesn't turn into a gun then.
He turns into a gun with a safety lock on it.
Like a locked key guard or whatever.
He turns into a firearm safe.
into a rainbow.
He turns into a firearm safe.
Yes.
He's a firearm safe that's a bag of holding that can hold infinite guns.
And that's the whole point of it.
Yeah, that's the whole point of Obamatron is that after they confiscate the guns,
he turns into that safe and they throw the guns into him.
And he just absorbs them.
They just go into the safe space.
That's where he puts the guns so they can never be used again.
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
I'm out.
Michael Bay get at us, we'll bang out a script in a week.
We got this.
Yeah, we'll put in as many camera circular around people at reduced speed while an explosion or helicopter flies over them shots as you want.
We can make that the whole movie.
The first movie to be dynamically shot with a fully rotating camera the entire time in slow motion.
It's just constantly spinning.
Audiences are more nauseous than any human have ever been.
Well that would be great because in the edit they would have to dial in the perfect amount of slow motion to prevent audiences from getting motion sick from just sitting in the audience.
So it would just be the truest Michael Bay experience.
Especially if the US Army is letting him just take fucking crazy vanity shots of their aircraft carriers and stuff.
Which is the camera spinning around it at all times.
That'd be great.
I mean, that would be much more impressive to me than that fucking... What was that war movie that was made to look like a one-er?
I can't remember the name of it.
Dunkirk, was that it?
Oh, yeah.
Or was it 1917?
I know one of them was 1917.
Maybe it was 1917.
Battleship.
It was one of those.
I don't remember, but like, you know, that would be a much more impressive feat than simulating a one-er.
It's Battleship.
Oh god.
I actually saw Battleship on TV a couple days ago.
I was like, wow, Battleship.
I can't believe it.
Was it one of you two jokers that I saw Battleship in theaters with?
Yes, it was me.
It was not me.
Yeah, me and Al saw Battleship in theaters.
I was like, I know I saw this in theaters with somebody.
Everything you could have imagined it to be.
Holy shit.
Oh, it was so good.
My favorite part was when they dropped the anchors and drifted that battleship.
I almost want to see it.
Oh man, it is fucking completely nonsensical.
It's so good.
Peg bombs!
The aliens shoot peg bombs like the pegs on the battleship.
Yeah!
And they're using like fucking like seismic buoys in the water or whatever.
So they're looking at a grid and they're just like, my god.
They're positioned on this grid.
It's like, wow, they really worked in Battleship into this movie based on Battleship.
But they didn't.
They didn't gotta.
They're literally on a battleship.
Right.
And also, I've played the original Battleship.
It's boring and therefore includes no aliens.
There's not even alien DLC for it that makes it cool.
The best part about it was after we left the theater, as we were driving home, Elle and I, we came up with the pitch for Hungry Hungry Hippos the movie, and that was going to be far more intense, because it was actually going to be like a survival horror themed movie.
If it takes place in the jungle, you could like lock in Dwayne the Rock Johnson for doing it.
Batman will do any movie that is set in a CGI jungle full stop.
He's like, can't get enough of CGI jungle.
Love them.
There's no way in hell that any of what we're talking about right now has to do with the question we were asked though, which is like really not the way you're supposed to do it, I don't believe.
Well, I mean, I think we covered the question.
We just lost the plot, so good on us.
We found the plot to Battleship.
Yes!
So thank you for the question that I hope we answered.
I think we did.
Jason asks, maybe a bit mundane, but I started listening after I first saw you referenced in the FT.
Have you noticed a spike in listeners coming over from mainstream publications or are they generally two different ecosystems?
I really can't notice our demographics.
I mean, I just sort of look at, like, how many views we get and stuff like that, but I haven't noticed any actual change from, like, I don't know, like, Hellworld Hardcores or, like, new listeners just tuning in for the first time.
So, I mean, basically all I can say is to everybody who's listening, like, go to, like, at Hellworld with a Q and just submit questions and stuff like that, or give us whatever engagement you can, feedback, to let us know, like, what is your story?
Vis-a-vis the podcast, so we can have a better idea of whose ears we are poisoning with our insanity.
Yeah, and Mike Rains, to his credit, is a much more empathic fellow when it comes to those of you who may have personal experiences with having lost people to any of these various cults or conspiracy theories.
Mike Rains is a safe ear, despite all the stuff that I, his co-host, say on his podcast about About referring to these people as maybe worthless or idiots or whatever.
Michael chug along with me, but he's also a much more empathic guy if you ever need somebody's ear to bend on that sort of stuff.
So, you know, God love him for that!
Thank you, sir!
So next up is Craven Lords who says, I've seen QAnon talk in the voice chats of some video games, DayZ, Arma 3, and Squad, leading to long arguments, anti-semitic shouting, or in DayZ, virtual murders.
Is there a QAnon gaming community, or are these people being un-redpilled because they're being forced to be around normies?
Um, I think that like this kind of subculture exists in like any community and that's the thing is that like it's a sub-community and when it comes in contact with daylight They either can... I mean, it's part of the QAnon code that you have to pill people.
The only way we can trigger the Great Awakening is to get the normies on our side.
So, in a lot of ways, if you fail, if everybody in your video game is calling you a moron and an idiot who's peddling bullshit, that's really bad for those people.
That hurts their tiny little... It shatters their snowflake feelings.
to be told that they're not actually getting the job done and killing people effectively.
So, um...
Although for what it's worth, I mean, it's pretty obvious to anyone who's ever played
any of these online shooting games that there has always been, like, a thriving,
grimy undercurrent of white nationalism. And just using group chat and, like, on
video games as a platform for you to say the N-word as many times as possible,
like, it's just completely bananas. Like, these young, typically white people getting up on here
and just being like, oh!
Like a loosely or not at all moderated space where I can say whatever I want?
What am I going to take the opportunity to just say on this platform?
And they all, like, very frequently come to either disparaging the Jewish faith, or disparaging people of color, or insinuating that they have had physical relations with your mother.
Yeah, if you ever played any online games back in the day, like there's nothing new under the sun, I have been called almost every slur while playing casual games of Transformers War for Cybertron, like There wasn't a big community there.
I played a lot of multiplayer Space Marine on the Xbox 360 and boy howdy, I got called some names.
And by names, I mean slurs.
Oh.
Would you like to give us any highlights?
Oh, no, no.
I learned my lesson when I tried to get you to say slurs.
And I'm glad that lesson took to heart because I was just like, oh, this will be a funny opportunity for me to throw to Sarge to see if he wants to say anything racist.
We just have to keep each other on our toes.
We don't want to go down the path of the Joe Rogan experience.
So thank you for the question.
BigBadBaldBastard asks, since Renji Wajda brought up the satanic Super Bowl halftime show, could you discuss Illuminati symbolism and past performances?
What degree Freemason was left shark?
Oh, Jesus.
Well, OK.
Sarge and I, we're just going to take off now.
Mike, you have the reins.
Contact us in a few hours when you're done discussing this question.
Yeah.
You know the outro.
Take us on.
Oh, you got it.
Actually, what's really funny is that recent Recent Super Bowl halftime shows have been very bad for the Illuminati content creators that live only to parasite the Super Bowl halftime show and to tell you how those evil demons have done the evil demon bad thing on our television in their tribute to Ball.
What made them incredibly disappointed was when Lady Gaga did the Super Bowl halftime show, which was, of course, the 28-3 Patriot comeback halftime Super Bowl show.
So, um, because she is so Illuminati in everyone's eyes.
Even Alex Jones, like, crawled out of the muck to talk about how that cerebral halftime show might be a tribute to Satan.
Because, again, he knew that that would perk up all the ears of all the, uh, people that are obsessed with the Illuminati because Lady Gaga is so bad.
And then she basically did a very, uh, like, I wouldn't say a boring performance, but it was a performance with not a lot of stagecraft.
There wasn't a lot of crazy stuff out there.
And they didn't get their content.
I actually remember watching a 22 minute video of Lady Gaga.
Woah, woah, woah.
Hold the phone.
I mean, are we talking about the same Super Bowl performance where she starts by sitting on the roof of the dome with a giant army of drones behind her and then rappels down onto the field?
And didn't she end that by running up some contraption and then diving off and throwing a football?
What do you mean there wasn't a lot of stagecraft?
This is a Lady Gaga show, there's all sorts of shit happening.
But stagecraft!
But it wasn't Illuminati stagecraft, which is the important thing, because these people have a very set series of events they have to look at and see that give away the game that you're a bad Illuminati person.
And a bunch of drones really didn't do that for them.
Her running up those stairs, catching the football and jumping off screen to her Her apparent death, as I saw it when it happened on television, that really didn't do much for them.
So I saw this like 22-minute video, and the first 19 minutes of it were literally a guy building up, and he had like three minutes of commentary about a performance.
He was like, I don't know what was going on there, but I didn't like it.
Anyways, like, comment, and subscribe.
Deuces!
I mean, it was so weak.
I didn't like it.
Well, Vin, you don't like stagemanship.
But the thing that also really upset those people was two years previously, because he brought up Left Shark, when Katy Perry did the halftime show, oh, they were so happy.
They were over the moon.
Because she came out on a giant, like, robot lion, and Lucifer, like, Satan roars like a lion, or stalks like a lion, that's in the Bible.
She was wearing this, like, her first outfit was, like, a fire dress, was this, like, elementalism, which is paganism, which is anti-Christianity.
There were, like, the two masonic pillars on either side of her.
Oh my god, they got so much mileage out of Katy Perry's Super Bowl halftime show.
They were over the moon.
That was like a 10 out of 10 Illuminati approved.
Literally America was under the spell of Beelzebub after that halftime performance.
Whereas like Justin Timberlake, The Weeknd, Lady Gaga, the most recent series of halftime shows have just absolutely failed them.
They have not gotten what they want out of these things and it's been hilarious watching them like Just be like, okay, this one's going to be super Illuminati.
And then it's not.
And they're like, you know why that wasn't super Illuminati?
Because they know we're onto them.
That's why they had to dial it down.
But next year we're going to be keeping an eye on them again so they don't try to pull anything.
And that's the heads I win, tails you lose way of handling Super Bowl halftime shows.
If it's super Illuminati, you scream, they're throwing it at our faces.
If it's no Illuminati, it's because they had to button it up because they knew that we were cracking down!
And that's how these guys, like, operate.
That's how they try to keep the story going so their audience will just be titillated every time as the Rural Halftime Show rolls around.
So thank you for the question.
TheNerdyHorrorFan asks, how many more crimes do you think Jabba the Trump will get away with?
The new revelations of him moving boxes of documents to his palace in Mar-a-Lago and shredding lots of them is surely incriminating, isn't it?
Yes, it's incriminating.
All of them, thanks for the question.
All the crimes.
All the crimes, yes.
Every crime.
That man is going to get away with all these crimes, you mark my words.
No matter how many people come after him, he is not going to see any sort of repercussions for any of this shit.
They might fine him lightly.
They'll be like, fine you, you've been fined.
And he'll be like, oh no, my $3 million or whatever.
He might get convicted of a felony.
It will not inconvenience him except to put him out of contention to run again.
He will not go broke.
He will not die penniless and alone like he should.
The justice he should face, he will never face.
He might get convicted, I could see that.
But he would have to get charged first.
Yeah, the day he's charged is the day I'll believe he gets charged.
So yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about that.
And our final question is from Reverend Xenofact.
So how long until the inevitable attempts at trucker terrorism here become fears that they're all false flag honeypots to lure patriots to their doom?
Bonus points if you can connect to the Gematria.
Triple if it involves mole children.
That will be next week.
Next week I will have all the Gematria trucker decodes for you.
Spoiler alert, I will not have that.
But it's really funny because The U.S.
trucker, like, answer to the Canadian trucker protest has been getting a lot.
I mean, Fox News is running with it.
Now the mainstream media is like, is there going to be a trucker rally in D.C.?
Will American truckers follow their Canadian brothers?
It's like, it's almost like they're trying to create the story out of thin air.
Like, they're trying to make a trucker protest happen.
Right now, any talk of an American trucker protest is absolutely the most, like, bare minimum hypothetical planning stages.
Wendy Rogers and a few other loudmouths were talking about having truckers shut down the Super Bowl this Sunday, which, if you ever want to make your political movement incredibly toxic and universally unpopular, I think fucking with the Super Bowl is the Do you want to see Judge Dredd in real life?
Because the cops in that town will drag truckers out and execute them in the street.
Like, what?
It's just gonna turn into Mega City 5!
Like, they'll be like, I am the law, and they'll just be like, just trucker hats covered in blood, slow music playing.
Let them fuck around and find out.
That'd be great.
The extrajudicial execution of those truckers has a 75% approval rate in America.
I don't believe it.
It's like, yeah, you don't fuck with the Super Bowl because that will never happen.
It would be like when Magog kills the Joker in Kingdom Come.
I like that reference.
So beyond that, there's been talk about blockading DC, blockading a major blue city, and I think any of that will run afoul of America's far more militarized police force and National Guard vis-a-vis Canada's much too polite kid-glove approach to the Canadian truckers.
What I think the American trucker convoy is most likely to do, and have a modicum of success doing, And by monogamous, yes, I mean photo ops and grifting is like a potential like quote-unquote trucker wall along the southern border.
If you get like 50 or 60 idiots to drive like full trailer trucks to the border and park them there and be like, I'm watching the border because Biden and Harris aren't!
Like, you could get Fox News to go down and interview them talking about how they're trying to keep America the land of the free and just make... I believe in legal immigration and all that, like, all that happy horse shit.
I think that would be a way for scammers to make a few bucks and to do something that wouldn't end in a nightmare horror as, like, Can you imagine truckers trying to roll up on the White House and like lock it down and honk their horns until Biden resigns?
It's like, well, first of all, you wouldn't get within 10 miles of the White House.
And then after like the spike strips and the, and the walls were put in front of your trucks, the cops would be like, yeah, you've got like three hours to leave before we like pull you out of your trucks and cuff you and stuff you.
And we'll just, and this is American police breaking up a protest.
We know the charges they hit you with.
You will not get away with this.
Well, there you have it, folks.
Mike Raines' weekly trucker fascist tip of the week.
Don't fuck with the Super Bowl.
Instead, drive down to the border.
Yeah.
I mean, if they do anything with any actual serious consequences, they'll pay for it.
Hanging out in the border and being dum-dums, it's like, great.
Go be idiots.
We got you, buddy.
We know what you're saying.
Five-five, buddy.
Exactly.
We know what's up.
Well, we're running a little bit long, so I'm going to make the executive decision this week to just be like, no question about what we're looking forward to.
Sarge has an out.
We have to wrap up this week.
So the number one thing that we're excited for, not having to do this podcast anymore today.
You, our fan.
No, we love you fans.
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