Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #74: Super Bowl Halftime, Truckers, Trump Taxes, and Durham
This week Sarge, L, and Mike discuss if the Super Bowl Halftime show was an illuminati plot. They then discuss MTG's interesting use of words and if it's an attention seeking tactic or if she's a big dumb dumb. The Truckers in Canada appear to be feeling the heat from the government while Durham has once again riled up QAnon with the dream of seeing Hillary getting arrested. All this plus Trump's accounting company ditches him and says they have no idea if he's breaking the law or not. Plus your questions. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and I'm joined, as always, by Sarge.
Hello from the internet.
And the mysterious El.
Transform and roll out, my beautiful babies!
It is I, White Abyss Pride, leader of the Kakabots!
I laughed out loud when Friend of the Pod sent us that photo.
I mean, obviously, at least one of those racists and losers was also going to be a nerd that saw, said, wait a minute, you know who else is a truck?
Optimus Prime.
You know, because while I do not share their racism, I do share their nerddom.
So it's just like trucks, Optimus Prime, word association.
Optimus Prime is a truck, you know.
Finished voice by a white guy.
Optimus saddened up.
Oh man, it's all coming together.
I just love the idea that Optimus Prime would be a white supremacist and not an Autobot supremacist.
He's just like, you know what I love?
I love specifically fair-skinned human beings.
Yeah.
I think they're great.
I'm a big fan.
So, speaking of fair-skinned human beings... What is that like?
A bunch of those were very offended by the fact that our Super Bowl halftime show did not feature very many of them besides our buddy Eminem.
Yeah, they had a token white guy up there.
If I can figure it out, put your head in my ass.
Yeah.
But the Super Bowl Halftime Show, for those who don't know, is something that conspiracy theorists have thought about for forever as being this massive Illuminati ritual.
Because someone put two and two together, it was just like, well, we all think all the artists and musicians that we follow are Satanists.
And the Super Bowl Halftime Show gets a lot of eyeballs on it.
So obviously this has to be a massive Illuminati ritual where they get all kinds of power and channel it to Moloch
to I don't know do something that never actually happens because we keep having we haven't like toppled the world
yet and killed God and we've had 56 Super Bowls.
So you would have thought at some point this would have worked and achieved victory for the Antichrist or whatever.
But apparently not. And this year's Super Bowl hilariously I have gone on YouTube for this whole week typing in Super
Bowl 56 halftime show Illuminati which every year would get me hits for that year's Super Bowl being an Illuminati
ritual.
This year, there's been nothing.
Everyone just sort of looked at that and was like, eh, we got nothing.
I posted on Twitter that a guy who literally had a tweet, and all of his tweets were bonkers, but this one was my favorite one, where the guy was like, I'm seeing 5G towers going up in residential neighborhoods.
Fuck.
That guy, like, four tweets later said, it was nice to have a halftime show that wasn't a satanic ritual.
He's just an OG hip-hop fan?
Apparently!
I like the idea that, no, he was just fucking sitting there, like, sitting in his chair and just being like, wow, a lot of these guys, their breathing is way too labored for them to be empowered by Satan's energy.
50 Cent and Dr. Dre looked winded.
I have one from the remix, he was pretty funny.
And like, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fat guy, if I had to perform in such a capacity, I too would be winded.
But it was just like, wow, they look pretty old.
None of them looked like spring chickens.
Except for Anderson .Paak, who looked like he was having a great time.
He was just there, on the drums, no big deal.
They should have got a shot of the chrome before they got on stage
I mean that would have that have perked him right up and they'd have been able to just bang that at halftime show
out without any problem
I'm seeing a lot of people just be like, oh man Was this one of the all-time like I don't know maybe one of
the all-time great halftime performances and I'm like really?
I didn't watch it. I like It was perfectly serviceable.
It was okay.
I don't understand, why is Eminem still performing Lose Yourself?
He has a vast catalog of songs he can pull from.
I get that it's probably the most sanitized and friendly song of his in terms of how big it broke, but I don't know, man.
I just do a verse off of Rap God or whatever.
I don't think he's gonna do Stan any time soon.
But he could bring Tito out or whatever and just be like, oh shit, remember us?
Member Berries?
It could all be steeped in Member Berries.
He could do Real Slim Shady and have a bunch of white people out there with like blue blonde hair again, remember that?
Forgot about Dre?
Dre is like...
Forget about Dre, you have to censor every fourth word.
I get why they just lose yourself.
Because it's just so positive and there's not a lot of words you have to switch out.
How far removed from the internet do you have to be to not immediately associate that series of musical bars with Mom's Spaghetti?
I know!
It's just like, as soon as you just get that plunkin', buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, it's like, oh shit, it's Bob's Spaghetti.
Bob's Spaghetti is here.
Can't wait to get it.
Can't wait to eat some of that spaghetti.
Do you think he regrets that line?
No, because that song made him like a thousand-y million begillion dollars.
He's just drippin' with currency because of that money.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm sure it probably doesn't feel great to have something... I mean, just ask Smash Mouth.
Their whole career was that.
The internet seized upon their career and turned their whole band into, like, a joke.
Yeah.
Just sort of, like, overnight.
Have you seen the videos of that guy getting very drunk?
Yeah, that guy's live performances are quite the watch now.
I mean, that guy is, like, a step away from... They could give him the Super Bowl halftime show.
Yeah!
Oh, man!
With Smash Mouth!
That'd be great.
Like, that guy's like a step away from being like a sovereign citizen, like being accosted by a cop.
I mean like, this leads to your Smash Mouth isn't it?
A really dark place.
We'll always remember where we were when we encountered Left Shrek for the first time.
I'll get to it myself.
I worked in a blockbuster when Shrek was coming out on VHS, and oh boy, and on the looping video that we had in the store was All-Star, so at least once an hour for quite a while, I got to hear All-Star.
Wow, I bet you could not wait for your shift to be over.
Uh, what you were saying there about Left Trek made me laugh because that was, the Katy Perry Super Bowl halftime show was like the pinnacle of Illuminati, uh, halftime shows.
Those people got so much content out of that shit she did.
Um, there were pillars.
She was on a giant lion, which is a reference to Sidney Weibull.
I literally laughed out loud when she rode in on her Meccano lion, thinking about you seeing the reaction on the internet from people that were conspiracy-minded.
I was like, oh no, Mike and his people are gonna have a field day with this shit.
Yeah, oh yeah, it was all of it, it was all of it.
But my favorite thing, because in this Super Bowl halftime show, the one reaction that we got that was hilarious was Charlie Kirk.
The guy that does Turning Point USA for like college Republicans to be all whiny.
He called the performance sexual anarchy because apparently there was just... There was just a little too much sexy dancing around Fitti when he had his turn in the spotlight.
And I remember that Katy Perry's halftime Super Bowl This one of the Illuminati videos, breakdowns that they had, when she did like her, when Lenny Kravitz came out, and they did their bit together, the amount of sexy dancing between Katy Perry and Lenny Kravitz was too much for this guy.
And he basically put giant black censor bars over both their bodies, because it was just like, what, I don't know, 100 million people saw on television was just too hot for his YouTube channel.
Sexual anarchy is amazing.
That's such a great name for a band.
Especially for something so decidedly unsexy.
Like, this is maybe one of the least sexy Super Bowl halftime performances in recent memory.
Right.
It was just a bunch of, like, old men standing mostly in place rapping.
It started suspended upside down like a bat for some reason, but then when he reoriented himself and put his feet back on terra firma, he just sort of stood in place and rapped.
And then Eminem exploded out of a box on one side of the stage and then stood there and rapped.
Dr. Dre played some piano before standing up and rapping.
Yeah, you just had a few dancers around 50 Cents and you had Mary J. Blige, and that was like the full, total amount of just unbridled, raw sexual tension.
Yeah, and Mary J. Blige was literally also just standing there and singing.
Like, she wasn't, like, gyrating, it wasn't like Shakira or whatever, you know what I mean?
Yeah, it wasn't the Shakira-J-Lo halftime show, where it was like, oh my god, ladies with big butts are doing butt dancing!
Eye muffs, eye muffs!
Now that was some stuff to really engage in some self-love, too.
Yeah.
So, yeah, the Super Bowl Halftime Show was, for Illuminati content creators, big loser.
For racists, sad that their America had been taken over by people enjoying hip-hop nostalgia, they were big winners.
They got to get very angry and bang, beat their chests about America falling and all that stuff.
Well, at least during the Super Bowl, everybody gets treated to a bunch of wonderful snacks.
I do love snacking.
Among my favorite snacks are Segways and gazpacho.
So Marjorie Taylor Greene had an oopsie that was clearly not an oopsie.
Like, she meant to say Gestapo, but said Gespacho when talking about, like, the current state of America, to simplify a little.
And the internet had a field day making fun of her because she's an idiot.
And then she doubled, some might even say tripled down on, she's like, sometimes when you say a word, you say a word you don't mean to.
It happens to everybody.
And it was like, this was a written and prepared statement.
You clearly thought you were using the right word when you said gazpacho and you meant gestapo.
And then she tried to save it by saying, one of my great heroes sometimes says words wrong, Kefofi, and then like says, quoting Trump's amazing misspelling of coffee that apparently actually means something.
It doesn't.
We all know it doesn't.
But, you know, here we are.
Oh, there are Illuminati people or QAnon people still trying to decode what ko-fi-fi means.
Ko-fi-fi?
I have no idea how to actually say it.
Well, I've just seen it so many goddamn times and I've seen these people try to come up with these weird ideas like the F-E-F-E means iron and like there's like And they all kind of come up with, like, iron, like, de-poisoning 5G, that it's something to do with, like, treating the coronavirus.
There's so many decodes for that, for what was obviously a typo.
It's crazy.
The cottage industry... Life for those people would be really fun if it didn't seem like it was so maddening.
Yeah.
You just could never play Boggle with them.
You just couldn't really do anything with them.
But also, imagine if you could channel that energy into just living a life where everything is some sort of fun mystery to be unraveled.
That's one of the biggest parts about QAnon is the gamification of reality where you are looking for the secret truth and that everybody in social media and in television and movies is giving you the wink and the nod as to what's really going on.
And some of them are bad guys who are letting it slip because they're Satanists and they have to do these things for their dark god.
But the good guys are doing it because they want you to know that they're fighting the good fight and they're on your team.
And it just turns the world into this very bizarre place.
And the thing about the gazpacho incident with Marjorie Taylor Greene that was so enraging is that there is this other side of the debunkers and research communities, the people who hate her, who do not give her attention for her misspeaking and her spelling errors.
She's doing this intentionally to deflect from what she's saying, and she's trying to get attention that way.
And the thing is, it's really hard to tell people not to dunk on someone acting like an idiot when they're acting like an idiot.
I don't know exactly what is the way I don't know how you prevent from giving attention to the child who's doing so
stupid, stupid stuff to get attention like the kid who won't comb their hair, their hairs all puffy and fuzzy all over
the place.
And like, you're supposed to like ignore them until they get upset. They go and comb their own hair and they no
longer get the negative feedback attention they're looking for. But when you have a sitting member of Congress talking
about the gazpacho, it's just, I mean, I don't know how everyone holds their tongue at that point.
And I don't know that like, if you do, you're just letting the weird person be dumb and weird, for whatever reason, I
feel like There is a political value in ridiculing her for getting those things wrong.
I do believe that her and Boebert and others will put intentional misspellings in their tweets so that everyone can yell about the misspelling and miss the actual message of their terrible tweet.
But I think this is the sort of thing where, like, to be like, look, this is a dumb thing that you said and I'm gonna call you an idiot for it.
That's just it.
And I just don't like it's yeah you're a hundred percent right she should be ridiculed and like we should constantly point out that she is not fit to walk the halls of Congress and it's a shame that she's there but also it just like really need people to pay attention to her and what she's doing because her being there is still really dangerous it also shows in a million ways how out of touch she is because
Who knows gazpacho better than they know the word Gestapo?
And she clearly thought she was right and was like, Oh, I'm so close to this.
What other what other phrases do you think MTG gets wrong?
I mean, she likes to take things for granted.
How much do you think she cares?
Do you think she could care less?
Or do you think she could not care less?
Right!
Because a surprising number of people could care less.
They're very engaged.
Empathy is strong with those people.
They could certainly care less about what you're telling them.
I mean, anything to do with female anatomy.
I'm sure she has a very sensitive, literous Uh, but... That was... you came up with was literally... Yeah, I... I know the actual word, so... There you go.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Well, we talked a bunch about it.
So, funny enough, we're not even into our headlines.
We just had a lot of superb OWL to discuss.
The NFL can come for us, I guess.
We did refer to it as the super big game several times.
Yes.
So, hey, when we get demonetized for this pod, you'll know who to blame.
Roger Goodell.
If you're listening to the last ever Adventures in Hellworld podcast, big NFL is going to come after us.
They're not going to do anything about all the domestic abuse or whatever, but they are going to come after our podcast for daring to refer to their product as its name.
Yup.
But let's dig into those headlines.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News!
So, uh, we have, uh, more fun with the truckers, both, uh, north of the border and, uh, here in America, but, uh, they're on two different paths, because it feels like the Canadian stuff is starting to wind down, because, uh... They enacted many laws.
Yeah, yeah, the, uh, Justin Trudeau has, it enacted the, we're, we're tired of your shit, Well then, I guess we're just going to roll out.
the police have gotten to the point where they're actually ticketing and letting these
people know that they're going to be arrested in the very near future if they don't stop
this shit.
Some of the protesters have...
Well then I guess we're just going to roll out.
We still hate the vaccine, but we're just going to...
We're leaving, but not because you're telling us to.
So some of the protesters have... they put a toilet in front of one of the rigs and they
threw a bunch of their tickets into the toilet to show how they're defying the government
and they're not going to back down.
Uh, which I'm sure is going to be really awesome.
This is what we think, your tickets, eh?
I mean, your name's still on those.
It's not the old days.
They keep computer records.
And those tickets are because of the governor.
It's the premier, not the governor.
But the premier of Ottawa is just like, OK, so the tickets are for up to $100,000 now.
What tickets, eh?
We enact toilet law.
Show me a ticket, bud.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Fuck you, Shorzy!
Yeah, so...
And the thing is, is that they're gonna have a real good time
trying to get their commercial truck license renewed when they have to apply for that next year.
So, these people are throwing away their careers for their very vague and incoherent protest.
I mean, they're talking about the vaccine mandates and how they want them to end, yet a lot of provinces in Canada are lightening their mandates.
They are removing these restrictions.
Yeah, now for what it's worth, maybe it's just me personally.
I'm not the most plugged in, but I feel like I'm fairly plugged into the popular zeitgeist.
Recently, like the past week or two, this trucker vaccine mandate thing has kind of been the only corona news that has been, like, bubbling to the top.
Like, it just really hasn't been like, like I haven't, it hasn't just been like, oh, a new variant's been found or like, oh shit, Omicron is decimating this school system or whatever.
I'm sure there's still headlines out there.
They just haven't been like breaking huge.
So I'm just sort of like, give it a rest guys.
Like, just like, let's, let's just keep going and maybe we're finally getting someplace on this one.
Shut your stupid mouths.
Just get a jab.
Just get back to work and then we'll be done.
Yeah, and most truckers in Canada have.
These are the vocal minority.
Too bad.
Hate them all.
Fuck you truckers.
Come here from your fucking country!
We're watching down here!
That's somebody from Michigan.
Yeah, I think you're gonna learn real quick that this shit will not fly in America.
Right.
What happened to all the heroic truckers that were gonna block all the roads at the Super Bowl?
Where are they?
Yeah, wow.
Yeah, I'll get sick somehow.
Yeah.
Because Los Angeles cops are historically real kind of truckers.
Man, I definitely don't remember riots, uh, endless riots after Los
Angeles police, uh, beat a trucker.
Anything like that?
No.
So you have the Canadian truckers who, again, this thing started based on mandates and now they want Trudeau to resign.
Whenever the media talks to them, they'll fall back to the whole mandate thing.
But then they'll get into the part about freedom, and Trudeau's a tyrant, and you have QAnon, and Jack Posebeck, and a bunch of other right-wingers.
I think even Tucker Carlson may have given the wink and the nod about this, about how Fidel Castro is Trudeau's father.
And this is one of those things that is just, like, immense in the conspiracy theory world, where, like, the evil seed, like, Merkel is Hitler's daughter, Obama's father... We get into bonus content all the time, where they're just like, everyone's connected.
Yeah.
Yeah, like Prince Charles is related to Dracula.
Yeah, and the thing that always makes me pull my hair out is people will be like, hey, like Trudeau and his wife were like in Cuba like nine months before Trudeau was born.
So I mean, hey, it's possible.
It's like, guys, they're arguing in the worst faith possible.
Do not, in a million years, think that there's anything to this.
I don't know, man.
Some of those dots are starting to line up.
And the other thing I love about this whole theory is, like, let's just say that happened.
Like, why is Trudeau the way he was?
Because it wasn't like Castro raised him or anything.
It's just like, the communist seed is just so strong in Canada that Trudeau had to rise to power and then turn Canada into... Hey man, make fun all you like.
But you know what they say, some clues are too small to ignore.
Let that one wrinkle up your brain real quick.
Also, that maple leaf that's on their flag?
It's fucking red as blood, I'm just saying.
What could it mean?
What could it mean?
Uh, yeah, it's just, uh, so they're just so disparate with what they want and what they claim they want, and, uh, now that, uh, now that the cops are actually telling them, like, look, guys, it's over.
Like, this is going to end.
Uh, I really do wonder, like, what is going to be, like, the final play for these people?
Are they going to, like, go the whole way out and demand to be arrested and, like, physically dragged away?
Or are they going to just, like, slink away and enjoy their massive fines and the loss of their license and all that stuff, like, coming down the line?
Like, how bad do they want the consequences to be for what they have done?
Like, how committed are they to the bit that they're willing to really get themselves crushed?
Or are they going to just accept, like, the level of crushing they've already inflicted upon themselves?
Who can say?
I feel like they're probably going to fucking roll over immediately.
Yeah.
I feel like the rolling over process happened literally the moment the police were like, alright, get the fuck out of here.
Like, for real now.
And they were just like, alright, well, I believe we made our point.
You can just leave.
Yeah.
The New York Times had a really horrifying interview with two absolute pieces of shit who were at this protest and they were totally explaining that this was about the vaccine and that the two of them are unvaccinated and their daughter is in some sort of care and people like on the internet saw that it was palliative care and they thought the child was dying but other people have looked into it and it was it's probably like assisted living and the child may have like some sort of cognitive deficiencies but the two parents were just like we can't see our daughter because we're not vaccinated so that's why we're here at this protest
Leaving our daughter alone, probably for over a year or so that she hasn't seen her parents.
Because we, her asshole parents, refuse to get vaccinated to be allowed to be admitted to see her.
So it's like, no, you're not the victims.
Your child is the victim.
And they're the victim of you.
You horrible pieces of shit.
Yeah.
Hey man, when life gives you a free pass to avoid having to deal with your fucking kid for a year or more, Like, you're not going to look good before I set the bath.
It was like, oh, we don't have to go visit our daughter if we're unvaccinated, you say.
Well, in that case, we suddenly have very strong opinions about vaccines.
It's just my personal choice.
Yeah.
Anyway, you take care of my daughter.
We'll be back in a couple of years!
It's like, uh, it's like Cancun Cruise.
With the Cancun stuff, you get the fuck out.
You're like, see you later.
Ooh, we're gonna take this one.
I remember right early in the, uh, early in the Rona, uh, I was working food service, and, uh, as soon as it became clear that anybody for any reason could just be like, I'm feeling slightly sick, and they got an effectively unlimited amount of time off, no questions asked, I was just like, oh no, bud.
Yeah, this will come back and bite you in the ass eventually.
I was like, holy shit, we're just never gonna have any staff.
Everyone's gonna be like, you know what, I could go to work today.
Or, I could literally just claim that I am a little bit sick and enjoy my free, no questions asked, at least seven day vacation.
How did that work out for a lot of them?
I mean, like, I think for a bunch of them it actually just worked out just fine.
Some people were like, oh, those of us that were actually there working got bonuses.
But yeah, I could still see, I could definitely see the impulse.
I mean, there have certainly been times where it's just like, I'm not fucking, I'm not doing anything today.
I'm just, I'm quote unquote sick.
Yeah.
I haven't done it during the Rona, though, because it just seems sketchy.
Because if you do that, you're committing to like having several days off or whatever.
Yeah.
Not wrong.
Anyway, this doesn't have shit to do with shit.
Let's talk about something else.
Seamless segue to the Durham thing we haven't brought up in a while because it's never really been relevant.
It's just popular in QAnon circles.
Yeah.
Popular and useless.
So why are we talking about Durham this week?
Well, because Durham has percolated up to Fox News level of obfuscation and bullshittery And, uh, indignance.
Like, they're just being... Like, that graphic of them just being... Look at how little people are talking about Tarot!
Oh yeah!
That's the thing that's so funny is that the right wing has that have your cake and eat it too kind of thing.
the one hand if the mainstream media covers your bullshit, you'd be like, look, it's a real story.
It's so powerful, even the fake news media has to cover it.
And if they don't cover it, then you can be like, hey, why aren't they covering it?
They know it's so explosive, it'll like tear the house down if they dared pay attention
to it.
So take us through the details of this, Mike.
Okay, so what happened? And now the biggest red flag about all of this is that Durham
specifically released this little bit of bullshit from him, this little filing.
He released it two days after the statute of limitations would have passed on this being a chargeable crime.
So he waited until he actually couldn't charge these people for this crime, and he then It's even more toothless.
Right.
So, but what he was trying to do with this thing is he's trying to make a case against Michael Sussman, who is the guy that he's actually going to have to go to court and try to convict for lying to the FBI.
And the case is, let's just say, fucking really weak.
Some might say thin.
Oh, God, the tissue-thin case against Sussman.
As a matter of fact, I believe either this week or next week, Sussman's lawyers are actually going to get their chance to file for dismissal, which is going to be very interesting to see, because it's possible the judge will be like, yeah, you're right.
Fuck this.
It's done.
So Durham basically posted this thing about how through this series of contrivances and this, that, and the other things, a group of people We're monitoring or doing something illicit with White House internet traffic and that this was not, this was, this was illegal.
This was hacking.
This was Fox News took Durham's report and then used the term infiltrate in their own reporting, which Durham never used.
And the They're just trying to spin this yarn that the people who did this were doing it for malicious purposes when the reality of what was happening was these are just people that were hired to monitor White House traffic.
The DNS files.
So basically, if you go to a website, I see that you went to that website, but I have no idea what you did on that website.
Like all I would know is like, Oh, Sarge went to eBay, but I don't know like what products he looked at.
I don't know if he bought anything.
I just, all I know is that like your computer linked up to a website and that's all these people did.
And this is something that's like public sourced.
This is something that's legal.
Yeah, but it's so explosive because it just shows how often they were ordering pizza at the White House and... Yeah, exactly!
If we talk about in the old bonus content, pizza is... I mean, it could only mean one thing.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, God.
It's really funny you said that, because this morning when I was doing my standard scouring of QAnon, one guy was posting about the Russiagate thing, and he was like, hey, check out the Pizzagate reference at the start of this.
Oh, it's all coming out now, baby.
They just can't get enough.
All of their old conspiracy theories just get recycled and put back into the narrative over and over again.
But what does it mean, Mike?
It means that they've got nothing, and we had the whole issue of the 15 boxes full of documents that should not have been at Mar-a-Lago, and all of the other Trump malfeasance between 1-6 and this, that, and the other thing.
So somebody needed a smoke screen.
Somebody needed a way to divert attention away from all the shit that's going on in Trump world.
And the way they got to that smoke screen was having Durham write up some bullshit about how Trump was having his campaign and his White House hacked by Hillary Clinton and all the bad people.
And so now the right-wing news slash entertainment echo chamber has been throwing a fit for the past week about how, we finally got her!
It's been confirmed!
Hillary spied on him!
She's coming down!
Yeah, there were a bunch of those phones that were near the White House and that was one of the things that people who were monitoring this stuff were like, oh shit, and then they like went to the FBI and were like, this is some stuff that we think is not great and Basically, if you're arguing this from the QAnon side, you
believe that these people were doing these things maliciously, which they were not.
And then you have to believe that they went to law enforcement in bad faith when there
was obviously a very innocent explanation as to why all the web traffic and the Russian
phones were in the area.
Well, I'd like to hear it.
I would like to hear it too.
And then you try to tie Sussman to Hillary and you try to tie these people that were
monitoring the web traffic to Sussman to Hillary.
It's just this incredibly thin way to try to create the QAnon conspiracy theory about the fact that Obama and Hillary were using all of the powers of the government to spy on candidate Trump and then President Trump after the fact, and this is an actual real thing.
And it's not.
All of the people that I've been following who actually take this shit seriously and pay attention to it, have made it clear that Durham is just just throwing shit
at a wall in an effort to either get attention and placate Trump and the right wing or he's
just desperately trying to make a case against Sussman that has even a chance of making it
to trial. So I just really think that this is this is much ado about nothing.
I mean, this happens like every three or four months where suddenly it's like, oh shit!
Explosive revelations in Russiagate!
And then people are like, no, this isn't explosive.
We knew about this two years ago.
There's nothing to it.
Uh, as a matter of fact, like Kash Patel, who's been like one of the guys promoting this shit, he was in the government.
He was part of, he was part of DOD.
And he knew about this then when he was in, when he was in the Trump administration.
So if like he or anyone gave a fuck about it, they would have done something about it then.
And they didn't.
And again, Durham waited until the statute of limitations was up before he even talked about it.
Cause he didn't want to actually try to file a charge on this.
He knew he was going to get, he would have got laughed at.
I think that was maybe the most Mike Rainsiest moment of the podcast so far.
There's something so charming about the fact that he immediately went from saying it was much ado about nothing to seamlessly spinning back up and then ranting about it for another full minute.
I was just like, I was just like, holy shit.
He was just like, yeah, this is total bullshit.
There's nothing to it.
What another thing there is to it!
Make it wild!
I thought it was so funny.
Well, the chart, there's something to the charges.
There's plenty to the bullshit narrative that's been created around the charges.
I mean, it's just, it's just, it's just hilarious that they can just keep doing it.
They can just keep dangling the same shiny pair of car keys in front of these people.
And every time it's exciting to them every time they're like, Oh, it's so good.
This time we're gonna get Hillary.
It's like, no, you're not.
You're never gonna get Hillary.
She's gonna die at like 98 of natural causes and you're mid then and only then we'd be
like, finally justice.
Finally that lady who Q said he had at the negotiating table begging for a plea deal in 2007 has passed away in 2030.
We got her.
We did it guys.
We won.
It's just hilarious.
All right, Mike.
We get it.
We get it.
All right, Mike!
No, we should probably pivot away from this.
We need to wash our hands of Durham for the time being, much like Trump's former accountants washing their hands of him and all of his probably-not-legal-business dealings.
Like, yeah, we were doing the president's work there for that time, and you probably should not listen to what we said during that time.
Do not look at the man behind the curtain.
So, Mike, take us in.
What's going on with Trump's former merry men?
So, the Macers, or the Macer accounting firm, issued a statement saying, like, look, we are no longer accepting the Trump Organization as a client.
For our tax preparing purposes and BTW, we no longer have any way of validating any of the stuff that Trump said about his taxes for the last 10 years.
So if you guys look into that stuff for the past decade and you find anything shady, that's not on us.
We take no blame for it.
We are pleading Shaggy on this one.
It wasn't us.
It wasn't us.
Yes.
Wow.
But he claimed a charitable donation.
It wasn't us.
Yes.
And the big thing that has come up is that it appears that Trump claimed an apartment that had like a 10,000 square foot floor space actually had like a 30,000 square foot space.
It wasn't us.
Exactly!
This wasn't even like a value thing.
This was a just outright, this building, which is this size, Trump claimed was three times that size
in order to try to get a higher evaluation for the property.
So it's just, it is so obviously- But that's just like, it's another honest mistake,
just like a nacho thing.
You're not supposed to overlook it.
Yes, oh God, yeah.
Every now and then you accidentally hit the three button on your calculator when you're calculating
the square foot of an apartment, and suddenly it's three times larger than it should be.
I don't think it would be less egregious if he had listed it as being exactly 10 times larger, right?
Oh, it's like an accounting error.
Like, they probably just put a decimal in the wrong place.
You can't ask them because they're claiming it wasn't us.
It wasn't us!
Okay, we get it.
So, but let's just say this is the oddest human error.
That's fine.
But no, at times three, that's a little harder.
How are you accidentally hitting three, brov?
It's like... Yeah.
Y'all know about all that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So they're just like, they're more than washing their hands.
They're like, man, the whole New York prosecution of him for tax evasion has to be really moving along.
If his accountants, their legal team is just like, okay, our best move here is to fucking cut all ties with the former president.
Fucking cut ties!
We are done and out.
We are no longer in the Trump business.
It's like the white collar version of rats leaving a sinking ship.
Yeah.
It's accountants running away from a bad scam.
Yeah, they're just like, ooh, this is coming back on us.
I also love the idea that you could do that, right?
Could you imagine, like, it's just like, oh, we were the people, like, responsible for Trump's money during all this time.
Like, you know, we were dealing with his finances, and now the government is asking us a bunch of questions about this period because they think that he may have been doing fraudulent shit.
I love that they're just like, we disavow all of the stuff that we did over the past ten years.
Like, don't worry about that.
Like, we can't, don't look into that.
We got nothing to do with that.
Yeah.
That's not a power we can invoke.
I can't just be like, yeah, I can't just be like, uh, all the stuff I did from when I was college age to when I was 30.
We're ignoring that.
None of that happened.
Yeah.
Don't ask us about it.
Cause we, we, we don't know.
I can no longer verify the details of what happened during that period of time.
Oh my god.
Yeah, I mean, um... This looks really fucking bad for Trump, right?
I mean, I feel like this is a self-evidently incredibly embarrassing thing for him, at the very least.
Yeah, and he came out and said that they're a bunch of assholes and he hates them and they're lying and they suck.
Didn't somebody else from the Trump campaign come out and just be like, yeah, we don't know why everyone's making such a big deal about this, we're just not using that accounting firm anymore, whatever, it's fine.
Which is the correct move.
That is the thing you are supposed to say if you're not an idiot.
But Trump, his ego just will not let him not say something.
You know, the real power move would have been like, yeah, we're not using that accounting firm anymore.
We suspect that they may have been doing some tricky stuff behind the scenes that none of us knew about.
Yeah.
Let's just say that we've received data now that indicates that The Mind of a Steel Trap!
That, for instance, one of Trope's properties was three times larger than it actually was.
Can you believe that?
Like, do you believe that somebody like Donald Trope could make such an error?
I don't think so.
No.
He's the mind of a steel trap.
He's like one of the...
The mind of a steel trap.
Oh, just absolutely the most brilliant man that's ever existed.
The mind of a...
That sounds like some translated from a different language thing for like some superhero who's
like one of his powers is being like big brained and it's just like subtitled, and the mind
of a steel trap.
Yeah, it's an old Superman thing.
Oh god.
Okay, well, poor Donnie Trump.
It's a poor egg on his face.
Yeah, but as El was saying, about what you're supposed to say, El in his tirade against the Macers said, we have a great company with fantastic assets that are unique, extremely valuable, and in many cases, far more valuable than what was listed on their financial statements, which is basically saying you were undervaluing things so you could get a tax break.
Like, we were cooking the books both ways!
We were saying things were more expensive than they were, and also, we would claim things were not as expensive as they were.
It all evens out.
That's why Donald Trump paid, like, $200 in taxes that one year.
It was, you know, because most of his books were almost perfectly balanced.
Perfectly balanced.
You pay exactly zero dollars a check.
Yeah, that is how that works.
You don't cut the government a check.
You are just perfect with your finances.
That's how it's supposed to work, right?
Exactly. 100%.
Yeah, so also there's talk now that the New York Attorney General may actually demand that Trump give a deposition or be forced to testify as to the legitimacy of his tax records.
And since this is a civil case, there is no Fifth Amendment protection on that front.
that he can't avoid testifying. It would be hilarious, however, if in that civil deposition,
that Trump's are aggressively taking the fifth, which is something that Trump himself has
said if you take the Fifth Amendment, you're a crook. So that would be super, super awesome
if that was like, even if they like served up with papers, like he's just gonna ignore
them, right? He's gonna be like, I'm gonna he's gonna be like, I'm Caucasian enough to
just ignore these, like, come at me. He's gonna get an 18 wheel rig and he's gonna grab
a toilet and put the toilet in front of the truck. He's gonna throw the subpoena into
He'll be like, boom!
That's what I think about your subpoena.
How you like them apples?
Did I ever hear that Donald Trump needs... an 18-wheeler?
It's me, Whitemist Pride, here to help the glorious President of the United States!
Oh, man.
We definitely did come up with that.
I cancel myself as I state that I'm a huge fan of Whitemist Bride, so yes.
The absolute worst.
Oh god, we're such horrible nerds.
Whitemist Bride probably sounded a little different there, because I was in the middle of a leg cramp, and I was like, let's just go for it!
I readjusted in my seat as the bit was coming up and suddenly my legs started cramping and I was just like, well, I'm not going to try the bit.
I'm going in anyway!
This is going to be my flu game!
L, positively Jordan-esque with the weight of his pride reference.
Your boy needs some more bananas.
He needs to get some potassium up ends, apparently.
Which is an easy sell, because I love bananas.
Yeah.
Anyway, speaking of bananas, segue into the Ukraine from bananas.
I mean, I'm only one man, like a regular.
I'm not like a superhuman podcast machine.
That seems incredibly, incredibly difficult.
Yeah, that one was good.
Maybe I should invade some bananas.
I fucking nailed it.
It was worth going back for.
You got there.
I mean, maybe that would be true.
I'm sure you're still being sarcastic.
But maybe it would be true if it were for the fact that I think the most recent news is that maybe we're not invading a bunch of bananas?
It's all up in the air as to whether or not we're invading the bananas.
It seems like the King K. Rool is moving his troops off the border of Ukraine.
Whatever Putin decides to do with his bananas, QAnon is going to think that he is playing 12-dimensional chess.
That's right, we skipped all the other numbers.
And like, all of his moves are brilliant, and boy howdy, him and Kim Jong and Trump are just the greatest democratically elected leaders on the planet.
Yeah, you're not wrong.
Alright Mike, fill us in.
What's going on with the movements in the Ukraine?
AKA Bananas, for those of you who aren't hip to the lingo.
Yeah, right now there appears to be a bunch of disputes about if the Russians are withdrawing their military from the Ukrainian border.
There were a lot of reports out yesterday that this was a thing that people were seeing.
Right now, the United States and NATO are claiming that they have not seen this, even though Putin is claiming that, yeah, we're winding down, we're pulling back a little, we're trying to ease up on this whole thing.
Right now it does appear that at the very least Russia is trying to diffuse the situation on some level, but if that's actually what they're doing, or if they're just trying to lull people into a false sense of security before they launch an invasion, That can't be said.
What's really funny is that between the Durham stuff, once you get into the whole Russiagate narrative, one of the big things that is in that is that Russia is the good guys about everything and Ukraine are the bad guys because they were the ones who colluded with the Democrats to help Biden win the election.
So, I remember reading some posts where one QAnon promoter was like, Ukraine is about to get wild!
And I was like, if by wild you mean being attacked by Russia and lots of people getting killed?
Like, just the idea that people were excited at the idea of a Russian invasion of a neighboring country.
It's like, man, that's fucked up.
But then you remember that these people were really thrilled about the coup in Myanmar.
It was like, yeah, the military just took over the democratically elected government.
Woohoo!
Way to go, Myanmar!
I wish that would happen in America.
That'd be great.
So, uh, rooting for the bad guys is kind of like one of QAnon's favorite pastimes.
Yeah.
My, my own senator, who I did not vote for, Josh Hawley, uh, commented and is carrying water for Putin.
It is baffling how many GOP senators there are just like, you know, what's great?
Putin.
Like, You guys love this, right?
We love Russia, historically.
I mean, what's not to love?
Look at its scenic landscapes, its vibrant cultures and peoples, its beautiful, deft, democratically elected and diplomatic, all the Ds, Daddy Putin.
It's so good.
Daddy Putin.
What isn't there to love about Russia?
The cuisine?
Oh, baby.
You literally just drink yourself blind every day when you live there just to try to get over the fact that you're in Russia, which has just been...
Because it's fuck-off cold in most of it?
Yeah, literally that's their big wartime advantage, is that if you invade us, eventually it will get incredibly fucking cold and you will leave, because you just can't deal with that.
Yeah, they've got home buildings, man.
Yeah, it's one of their big strategies.
It seems like rough living in Russia, I'm not going to lie.
Even if circumstances in their politics were better, it still seems like it's always going to be baseline a little bit rough in that region of the world.
Yeah, even if it was a thriving democracy and everyone was just enjoying equality and a good time, it's like, oh wait, now it's November, so now for the next four months, I basically have to remember to get inside the moment the sun goes down, or else I might just die of exposure.
It's the same thing for, like, whatever you hear about, like, how, like, sort of, like, rough and tumble places in Alaska can be.
You're just like, fuck it.
Yeah, it's cold as fuck.
It's, like, just, like, balls cold.
Yeah, everything would be 30 days of night.
It wasn't about vampires.
It was just living in it.
Living in that state.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy shit.
I mean, we all have it so easy living in our continental United States.
Yeah, so like the other thing about this like Russia ordeal is that Putin has replaced Trump as the surrogate father for QAnon because their orange daddy shows up once a month to do a rally or to promote his new social network, which is hilarious.
But to actually have a big-time mover and shaker in the world political spectrum, the only guy that fits that bill for them is Putin.
The fact that Putin is in opposition to Biden just makes him the good guy, which is... I remember back in my day, like, Ronald Reagan and all these people, like, hating the Communists and fighting Russia, but now it's just like, nope, Putin's actually the good guy.
He's actually our hero.
And it was really funny listening to the episode of Knowledge Fight where Alex Jones was like, Putin's in favor of Christianity and our morality and all this good stuff.
And the quote-unquote expert, he was like, nah, Putin's actually bullshitting about the Christianity stuff.
He doesn't care about any of that.
And you could just feel Alex deflating like a balloon that his godly Russian dictator is actually really not that godly.
And it was like, no, but I wanted my Russian daddy to love Jesus.
Yeah.
Would you say that he's just been Putin on a show?
I feel ill inside.
Oh, I knew it was coming, and I was just like, I'm still gonna enjoy this, cause Putin's name is just rife for that hilarity.
Yeah, I mean, you may have been suspecting it was coming, but blissfully now, your weight is ogre.
Yes!
That's right, I circled back to it!
It didn't get enough of a laugh the first time around, so we're going back!
That one's for people who listen to the whole podcast.
That's a special shout out to anybody who manages to make it past the 30 minute mark.
You're one of the real ones.
You're not one of the Fairweather Hellworld followers.
Oh man.
Oh jeez.
It's so easy to make fun of Vladimir Putin.
Yeah.
Ah, geez.
Yeah.
It's so easy.
It's so easy to make fun of Vladimir Putin.
His name could be used in a series of stupid buns.
And then you could always just fall back to talking about him riding shirtless on horseback.
Yep.
I love that.
It's just so great, because to the rational person, that does seem ridiculous.
But to the QAnon people, it is a show of his manly Chad energy.
Oh!
Put him on a boat, and oh my god, they would definitely do an orgasm right in their dungarees.
Oh, they absolutely would.
It's just so funny to me how the buttons you can just push with these people to get the reactions you want out of them, because they're so simple.
They're so pre-programmed.
Like, Trump was doing an interview about whatever the hell, again, the Truth Social Network, which apparently is in beta testing right now, and Trump posted his first I don't know, his first truth on truth. It's on a tweet.
And like Trump Jr. Trump was like, Trump Jr. was signal boosting it on Twitter, because that's
what you do when you have a very powerful social network. You go to Twitter to brag
about how strong your network is.
I don't need Twitter. I have truth. And oh, God, my brain just melted there.
But it's just that you have Trump flailing around like, pay attention to me!
And it's like, no, we love Vladdy now.
We love Vlad because he's going to bring down Biden by invading Ukraine to find the Russiagate documents that prove that Hillary and Obama were spying on Trump.
And then Trump will be president again.
Like, it's just...
It's just like, really, you really think the world is just like an overwritten, three-hour-long
movie that's going to finally give you the payoff you're looking for.
And Q and I was like, yeah, that's what we think.
Q said you're watching a movie, so that has to be right, doesn't it?
Yep.
And it's like, no, it actually doesn't.
The world is, sadly, exactly what it seems like.
No way, man.
It's Hobbes and Shaw, but with Trump and Putin.
It's the sexiest movie there is.
I just thought about that, and I was just thinking about Trump having his head photoshopped on top of The Rock's body, and then that reminded me of the fact that we have endlessly seen that photoshopped picture of Trump's head on Rocky's body.
I feel like this line of work has poisoned your mind, and you spend too much time recalling images of Donald Trump's face posted on hard-abbed body men.
It's an incredibly specific form of post-traumatic stress disorder.
Any number of things could trigger memories of you picturing Donald Trump with like ripped, oiled up, shredded, just toned, beefy bod.
You can see the pubic bone, that whole deal.
He's maybe wearing some tighty-whities so he's not showing, you know, you don't see the whole package.
Stretching the eye, letting you know where his dick is.
Yeah, but it's letting you know where the Mushroom Kingdom is.
No!
Okay, we need to flee.
We need to flee this bit right away.
Time to go to Mushroom Questions.
Yeah, we're going to go back right now.
We will never speak in the previous segment again.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A. So, Gaspacho LeapRate Nurse, Nurse Shark changed her name, asks, curious to hear your perspectives on one of these.
WTF is up with Ron Watkins' behavior and an ad where he acts like he knows how to whittle a hammock
from a cactus.
Two, what are the reactions? Wow, what a sentence. Wait a minute.
Let's put our thing down, flip it, and reverse it. What are we talking about?
Mark apparently claimed in a campaign ad that he could whittle a hammock out of a cactus.
I'm going to have to do my own research and find out about the hammock cactus.
Yeah, if you're going to make bold claims like that, we're going to need some source.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm going to have to look into that.
Two, what are the reactions and understandings of the DERM filing?
I'm sure the Q-Influencer are being helpful and rational.
We did it!
We won!
It's over.
It's happening.
That's their reaction to the one.
Two, we're gonna have to actually witness the Ron Watkins Cactus Hammock ad, which I had not heard about because, again, The last that we had known about Ron and his dumb appearances before the camera, he was like packing heat in front of Trump's border wall and talking about how he was going to protect America from the dusky, huge horde coming from our southern border and all that danger.
I wonder how many campaign ads he's going to make and if it's going to be enough of them maybe we could do like a bonus episode at some point where we just watch Watch slash react to all of Ron Watkins' dumb campaign ads.
Especially if he's trying to whittle, if he's trying to whittle cactuses into stuff.
That is something I gotta see.
That is a specific art form.
I don't even know what that means!
I'm also not entirely sure, but I'm pretty sure that effectively a Japanese incel hasn't perfected this cactus carving technique.
It just seems like you have to be around the substance to get that job done.
As far as I know, there aren't a ton of cactuses in Japan.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Cacti in Japan?
Yeah, I'm looking at one of the Ron Watkins ads and it's just him in front of the wall just, you know, doing the Ron Watkins thing because he, again, ooh boy, that man.
It would be great if that was the added question, and he wasn't near cactuses or a hammock at all.
He was just standing in front of the wall, just being like, I'm Ron Watkins, and I'm proud of the work that Donald Trump has done to keep Mexicans in their country, where they belong.
And, fun fact about me, I can whittle a hammock out of a cactus.
Isn't that neat?
Anyway, I sure would appreciate your vote.
Thanks for listening to my campaign ad.
I run a lot of kids, and I live in Japan.
I don't live in America, and in case you didn't know, I'm not white.
Just fun facts.
He just tosses one of those in each of his campaign ads.
Just a little fun fact about Rod Watkins.
Oh God, yeah.
Oh boy.
Those fun facts would probably be pretty terrible after a little while.
So, thank you for the question and glorious derailment of the podcast, Nurse Shirk.
Jonathan asks, why is MSM completely ignoring QAnon and how dangerous it is?
There should be daily updates on every major network.
It's just not nearly as sexy or interesting to them when they don't have a dum-dum like Trump to ask the question about.
And then Trump's just sort of like, I've heard they're good.
They don't like pedophiles.
What's not to like about QAnon?
And then you get to write up think pieces about the fact that like the president of the United States is a colossal moron who doesn't get the danger of millions of people living in a false narrative because he just wants them to vote for him because he just, He craves political power and is brazen and shameless about it.
He is a colossal moron.
Also, for what it's worth, I think where we are right now, if fucking, like, CNN and, you know, all these places started doing, like, more in-depth QAnon coverage, I think it would be net negative, right?
They would just be, like, exposing QAnon to more people who right now are just ignorant but don't have a direction.
Yeah, I think that's part of it.
The other part of it, I think, is that, like, It's really hard for major news networks to get this kind of stuff right, because they're just so inept about how they explain QAnon to their audience.
It's hard to explain.
There's so many little details.
And then, like you're saying, if you mess up any one thing, they dogpile on you and see they don't know what they're talking about.
Oh, describing QAnon is easy.
When people ask me, hey, what's QAnon about?
I'm just like, all right, so picture dumb fucks.
Okay, I got it.
I got it in my head.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, there we go.
Yeah, okay.
Now let's continue eating this meal from Carl's Jr.
That was awesome.
Anytime Foxy has questions about this stuff or, like, Gamergate, like, she just gets real combative.
She's like, but why did they believe that?
And I was like, just, they're awful people.
I don't, like, I'm not a representative.
I've tried to explain to you why, but like, why does Gamergate exist?
And I'm like, misogyny and racism.
Like, it's not complicated, but you're coming at me real hard here.
Maybe explore the facts individually.
Do your own research.
Yeah.
Maybe it really is just about ethics in video game journalism.
It definitely is.
It always is.
Have you ever thought about that?
Yeah, I mean, that Assassin's Creed game has a 7.8?
What the fuck, bro?
Alright, let's get together and tell this female video game journalist to commit self-harm.
Let's go, boys!
We're doing it!
We're saving journalism!
Fuck me, yikes.
In our group chat, I posted a photo of Ron Watkins packing heat on the border.
He looks so serious.
There's no way anyone's crossing over now.
Ronny Watts is on the case.
My name is Ron Watkins, and I really appreciate the work President Trump did here on our border wall.
Fun fact about me, you see this shiny belt buckle?
My favorite part of the day is polishing this thing.
I just really find the act of polishing metals to just be satisfying in a way that most other activities aren't.
Anyway, I sure would appreciate your vote.
Thanks for listening to my campaign ad.
In like five years, we're going to do like an onion thing where we have a giant mea culpa about how the Diamond Joe series of columns made Joe Biden look way too cool.
Now we're sad, because he's beating our boy Bernie in the primaries.
So, like, when Ron... This is how we're responsible for President Watkins.
I was going to say that.
I think it's really... Man, Ron Watkins got like 8% of the primary vote.
Fuck.
We obviously put him over the... We actually got him an extra 3% that he shouldn't have got.
That's on us.
Our bad, guys.
Those Invincible Hellworlds cats really shouldn't have uploaded that video on YouTube of a CGI model of Rod Watkins doing the flossing dance.
It blew up.
It made him really popular.
Oh, God!
I'm just imagining, like, that would be, like, the greatest thing, because, like, it wouldn't even be, like, the bit from Peacemaker, where everyone's just, like, solemn and stone-faced while they're dancing.
Ron Watkins' flossing would be that, but it would be totally in character for him.
He would just be looking at the camera, dead-eyed, arms, like, swaying from side to side.
And then he'd just be like, I was told to do that rhythmic dancing, because the youth care about it.
And I'm all about the youth vote.
Please vote for me, Rob Roberts.
I'm just like, oh god.
Time to go back to Japan to recharge my batteries.
Yes!
So, Reverend Xenofact asks, is it just me, or is there even more Aliens, Paranormal, and Ascending Master crap in QAnon World today?
It's been there since the early times, but I feel like it's surging.
I don't know that I've seen a lot of it.
I mean, I think the biggest thing that's coming from that world of bullshit is the MedBeds, which is basically Star Trek-level technology where you just lay in the bed and it heals you of all your injuries.
Oh, it's that thing from Elysium.
Yeah, it's Elysium.
It's Elysium, yeah.
And that kind of sci-fi nonsense I've seen getting more More pushed in the community than the other stuff.
Aliens... When filthy liberals sit in their med beds, do they have flashback sequences to when they were living amongst the natives and learning their ways?
Obviously we do.
A little topical reference for you folks.
Yeah, I mean, that new Avatar movie's definitely coming out sometime this decade.
Any day now.
That new Avatar movie?
That is not what I was referencing, but it does totally work, so bully on you.
Fair play.
We took it to the judges and they said they'll allow it.
Yeah, I was like, wait, no, that's what you were talking about.
I was like, oh no, wait, it wasn't.
No, it was Boba Fett.
I was talking about Boba Fett.
I was referencing a much dumber thing.
Yeah, you started talking about Avatar.
I was like, what are you on about?
And then I was like, oh, wait a minute.
No, that totally does work.
Although I guess they weren't medbeds, because the guy was still paralyzed, right?
So they couldn't fix his spine with the bed, they just allowed him to live life among the tribe.
How could he possibly come to this conclusion?
Ron was getting into aliens there for a minute, right?
Yeah, Ron, he had alien leaks.
And I remember Jordan Sather was like, hey bro, don't forget about me!
I was the original OG alien guy in the QAnon world!
So I mean they've they just go wherever like kind of the the grift takes them for like what's the new hotness and like right now It's the forbidden, it's the hidden technology stuff.
It's the fact that we should be able to travel amongst the stars and the deep state's hiding warp drives and anti-gravity stuff from us.
Are they in on the shit where they think they're fighting the secret war in the future on Mars and then their minds are put in the bodies of super soldiers?
Uh, they haven't gone full Project Camelot, no.
So I haven't seen that stuff, but that would be awesome.
Like, uh, there was a clip that I saw during the Super Bowl.
It was like an ancient Alex Jones clip where he...
Back before his voice became all gravelly and he gains 100 pounds and all that stuff.
But it was him just whining about people in Texas wanting to talk to him about the cowboys.
And the best part about his tirade is that in the middle of the tirade, he's getting mad about the fact that if people would just focus up and pay attention to the world, we could have toppled the New World Order and gotten hold of the jump gate technology and the warp drive and all this kind of stuff.
The time travel.
Right, and it was just like, basically Alex was saying, I hate all you nerds who love sports because you should be nerds that like sci-fi, because that's the nerd stuff that I enjoy.
And it was just like, calm down, Alex.
Calm down.
Relax, buddy.
Relax.
If we had the ability to sell shit to intergalactic federations, I think human capitalism would have gotten on that trade right quick.
I know that Star Trek likes to present us as one thing but and all the other different races we encounter as being like kind of like bad versions of us but right now we're the Ferengi.
We're just actually the Ferengi.
We would absolutely 100% just like sell all our wares to the Heisbitter, whoever that was.
So no, we would not be withholding that kind of technology from us because You don't have to explain to us how ridiculous it is that if we had warp drive technology, the Hollywood elite would not be hiding it from the rest of us.
I think you're very much preaching to the choir.
Yeah, it's just so absurd.
Well, howdy y'all.
It's me.
Ron Watkins.
And you know, I sure am mighty proud of the work President Trump did on this border wall because I don't like illegal aliens.
But in a fun, coincidental fact about me, I am profoundly interested in the existence of extraterrestrial life and regular space aliens.
I believe that they have visited us and we are benefiting from their technology as we speak.
Anyway, I sure hope I can get your vote.
Thank you very much for listening to my campaign ad.
Nailed it.
Thanks, Ron.
It was a good read.
Yes.
Cleodora Silvestri says, NFTs are pyramid schemes.
She has a lot of opinions about crypto and NFTs.
Says, do conspiracy... Methinks one might protest too much.
You're saying she's got a huge collection of apes?
Oh, yeah.
Drippin' with apes.
So many apes.
Drippin' and ripplin' with apes.
So she asks, do conspiracy nuts realize they're actually helping those they want to take down by hoarding the quote-unquote evidence they find as a dead man switch instead of releasing it?
And does it make them assassination targets to other conspiracy nuts to release this dead man switch that much quicker?
I think that this is one of the- Man, that would be cool.
That would be a cool reality that is unfortunately not the one that we live in.
Yeah.
None of these conspiracy theorist people are going to do anything, very rarely.
No.
Well, okay.
So very rarely, they do do stuff, and when they do, we hear about it on the news, because they'll, like, bomb a place, and they'll leave behind a manifesto, or whatever.
But I don't think there's, like, conspiracy theorists out there icing other conspiracy theorists, like, believing that they do have secret, like, caches of information that will be released upon their death.
That would be rad, though.
That would be awesome.
Oh, if our world was a movie, that would be a plot to one of those movies.
It would be so great.
Our world is a movie, man.
Swallow the pill, bro.
You'll know it.
Get in your med bed.
Pilot your blue body.
And then you too can be dancing with wolves.
Mike, get in your bed bed and dance with wolves, dammit!
Okay, doing it.
Dancing with the wolves.
Oh no, they're biting me!
These wolves, their teeth are so sharp and pointy.
God dammit, get in your bed bed and become the last samurai.
You're just Caucasian enough for it to work.
Yeah, that was... God.
Talk about a movie that could not be made today.
At least not with that cast.
Um, the thing that really does happen with some of these assholes is they get busted for child pornography, and they're like, oh no, that was my evidence against the deep state!
And it's like, guess what?
Possession of child porn's a crime, and no matter what, idiot, no matter what your quote- Are you a member of law enforcement?
Yeah.
Do you have to, like, go home every day to your, like, wife or significant other and just, like, fuckin' have to help them, uh, scare away the horrible stress and demons of your job looking at child pornography for the government?
Probably not.
No, like, that's like a job where the burnout rate is so high that you only get put on that duty for like two or three months before they rotate you out for somebody else.
Because they're just like, no one needs to deal with this shit.
It's like super dark.
Yeah, my computer terminal contained my evidence against these horrible pornographers, some balm for my dry skin, and you know I have allergies, so obviously I needed some Kleenex nearby in case those flared up.
So don't ask me about my child porn lotion or Kleenexes, please.
Yes.
God.
Ugh, God, I fucking hate these people so much.
And one thing I will conclude on this dark subject matter, about a little cheerful term, is that this is one of Alex Jones's silly narratives that he loves promoting, is like, I don't keep anything secret, because if you keep it secret, then the deep state will come and get you.
So if I get my hands on a secret, I just blurt it out there, so it's out into the world, and that's just where we go with it.
So yeah, so like that, this, that whole idea, like all of it is just like a big part of conspiracy culture that like the, the hidden, the hidden tranche of information, like, I love that word.
I love that word.
Yeah.
So thank you for that question.
And Pancake Peasant has our last question of the mailbag this week, which is, what is Hellworld L's pilled persona?
Is he slash she slash they like a bizarro version of him?
Does L morph into Pilled L Turbo Teen style?
Uh, L, so if I had an evil, uh, pilled doppelganger, I would be, uh, I mean, so obviously those that are pilled just have much, much higher IQs than those that aren't.
I mean, it's just apparent.
So, uh, I would be too wily and crafty to be so obvious.
I would be a much more subtle and, you know, I'd be like, I'd be like deeply entrenched in liberal culture.
Maybe, you know, maybe absorbing the media and then expressing opinions on a podcast with a couple of jerks and just generally being, you know, I'd be like Hitler in Secret Hitler.
Hitler in Secret Hitler, for the most part, is the ultimate liberal until the end of the game where it's just like, oh yeah, but by the way, I'm Hitler and the game's over.
So that would be my secret.
My secret pilled persona is in all ways just like regular me, but secretly a monster.
Just waiting like a coiled spring to just pounce, to just unleash yourself upon the unsuspecting liberals around you.
Yeah, by getting out there and secretly pilling people through my funny jokes about ancient pop media on my, in theory, political podcast.
What does he mean when he says turbo teen?
You don't know.
Decipher it.
Exactly.
Covfefe, baby.
He'll never get it.
Yeah, dip that in some gazpacho.
You heard it here and here and here.
Boom.
Kill them.
Hi, I'm Ron Watkins, and this is a coded message for all of my fans out there.
Oh, jeez.
What a time to be alive.
I do appreciate that of the three of us, I was the one who got the pointed question about what my double agent persona would be like, or what my evil doppelganger would be like.
I feel like we all have it in us to have evil doppelgangers that are totally pilled, but I'm the one that the audience apparently seems to believe.
Like, I'm on the precipice, baby.
Like, I'm on the ledge at any moment.
I could come back with my goatee, like, evil Spock.
And just be insisting that, you know, maybe ethnic diversity is not really a thing that we should be caring about, and we should just go back to what our country was great in the 50s.
Remember the 50s?
Where, like, you know, women needed to stay at home, and, like, men were hard-working, hard-drinking, hard-smoking badasses.
Yeah.
And everybody was Caucasian, and they loved it.
Yeah, exactly.
So, that cleans up the mailbag.
So, the question to Numerous, which is back this week, is, so what are you looking forward to?
Uh, Peacemaker, season finale.
It's happening tomorrow.
It's gonna be great.
Yeah, that was what I was looking forward to as well.
I am, like, super excited for the season finale of Peacemaker.
Well, okay, let me leave that one to you, and I'll say that I'm excited, obviously, for the two Avatar sequel movies.
They're still totally coming, we promise.
Yeah!
They're gonna get in their medbeds, and they're gonna dance with wolves with samurai.
All of these things.
I was thinking about watching Peacemaker, and then some people said it was good and gave it a try.
I don't know exactly where my expectations were.
They were somewhere probably around fair to middling.
And then the show was actually just good.
And I was like, wow, this is like...
This is a very acceptable use of my time, and I am very happy that also the show drops on Thursdays, which is the day I have off, so it's just the kind of thing where it's like, boom!
Starting my day off right with Peacemaker!
It's just really good all around, so I'll be very happy to see how they pay this season off.
I saw something about James Gunn being like, yeah, I didn't even, like, I haven't even, like, submitted Season 8 to HBO yet because I didn't want it to leak in any way, shape, or form.
Because it's just too powerful and good.
And I didn't want it to get ruined in any way.
And, hey, he's given me seven episodes of goodness to, like, kind of, like, trust in him to deliver a payoff in episode eight.
It's like, it'd be so great if, like, cut to us next week and, like, episode eight was actually, like, the final season of Game of Thrones.
It was just, like, 45 minutes of dog shit.
We're like, what the fuck, James Gunn?!
You bastard!
You ruined it!
You killed the golden goose!
I hate you!
But, uh, I don't think that's gonna happen, so...
And even if it does, I get to watch the opening sequence again, which is great.
So go for that.
Good stuff.
Well, normally we wrap up with Mike Rands, but Sarge was indisposed.
But now he is back to being disposed?
Is that a thing?
Anyway, Sarge is back.
So Sarge, what are you excited about?
I am excited to... I said I'd play Cyberpunk again when they actually had some New shit, and that has happened.
They put out a big, giant, ridiculous patch, and it adds a ton of new content.
And they finally have the PlayStation 5 and other new gen versions out, so I'm looking forward to giving that a try.
Also, Horizon Forbidden West comes out on Friday, so gonna give that a looky-loo as well.
I need to rob somebody for a PS5.
I am just so... My inability to obtain one so I cannot obtain Horizon Forbidden West is incredibly frustrating.
You know it's coming out on PS4, right bud?
Yeah.
Oh, sweet!
Done.
Done yesterday then.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think the next big exclusive is Elden Ring, right?
That's only on PS5?
Yeah, I think that sounds right.
But yeah, as far as I know, the Horizon sequel is on the PS4 and is still pretty good on it.
You're just going to have to deal without our good friend Raymond Tracing.
There will be no ray tracing afoot.
A small price to pay to hang out with my homegirl, Aloy, so yes.
Yeah, no two rays will be traced.
You don't even know.
Okay, well, it's time for us to jump on in the big ol' caboose of our friend White Abyss Pride and roll out of Hellworld for the week.
Thank you so much for listening, if you made it this far, and congratulations, because we are all absolutely bonkers.
We thank you, as always, for your support.
If you'd like to continue to support the show, you could do so for free, literal nothing, by telling a friend or giving us a five-star review or a thumbs up or whatever they want on whatever podcast platform you happen to listen to us on.
If you have money and you'd like to support us, you can do so by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where you get creeping up on 50 hours worth of bonus content if you donate at the $5 and above tier.
You get access to such shows as Kabbalen and the soon-to-be-wrapping-up of what we do, Out of Shadows.
So if you'd like to consider that, you can become one of our beautifuller babies and get $5 or more a month.
You get access to all those shows like our beautifuller baby for this week, A Very Witty Profile Name.
So, thank you very much, A Very Witty Profile Name.
What a gut buster.
We appreciate the support.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, you can do some good with it by donating it to love146.org.
They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
That whole line is in quotes.
Sounds pretty good to me.
Thank you as always to DJ Minimal Effort for use of our theme song.
It is a cool Castlevania-style bop, but DJ Minimal Effort remains too cool for social media, so none of you can thank him.
So consider this your thanks, DJ Minimal Effort.
Our buddy Frosty, the voice of Q when we need it, but more often known as the person who provides our glorious content warning and our bumps, can be found on Twitter at FrostyBO.
Thanks for the support and help, Frosty!
If you can't get enough of myself and Sarge, you can hear our spinoff show where we talk exclusively about pop media over at BingeWerdy.
That's B-I-N-G-E-W-R-D-Y.
That is wherever podcasts are provided, and you can find us on Twitter, at BingeWerdy, spelled the same way.
So, for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I have been your host, Hellworld Al, joined by the beautiful, absolutely stunning, with your beard shaved down like that, mate, you look so young, oh my god, I wanna get in those pantaloons, Hellworld Sarge, and our QAnon expert at all things, absolutely bananas in the world of conspiracy theories, and specifically the QAnon and Illuminati style ones, I've got my Circular fingers over my eye to indicate that I'm cool with it.
