Adventures In HellwQrld Episode #72: Q's sad run for Congress, Trump promotes insurrection, and Canadian Truckers
This week the crew is here to talk about the tiny crowds and tiny fundraising Ron Watkins has going for him in his campaign for the House. Trump is calling for riots should he get arrested and a bunch of Canadian Truckers are part of a giant scam that's raked in big money on GoFundMe. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of the Daily Bumps. I'm your host, Dan. And
episode of Adventures in the Hell World.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
Hello from the grim, dark future where there is only war.
Hellworld 40K!
Yeah, Hellworld 40K, the new expansion.
Yes, and the mysterious L. Hello, my beautiful babies.
Oh, dear lord.
Was that suitably post-apocalyptic enough for you?
Yes.
Yes, very much so.
Crackling.
Something in the vicinity of a Werner Herzog.
Yeah.
I would like to see the baby.
For a second I thought you were doing an Island of Dr. Moreau.
I mean, it's, you know, you can picture me fat and sweaty Brando style on the beach someplace, like covered in white makeup.
With an ice bucket on your head.
Yeah, and the world's smallest man who I insisted be around.
That's what I want to get to, that level of crazy famous where I'm just able to make those kinds of edicts and people just have to listen to me.
Because I got bold!
I can do that!
Yeah, people, people tell like stories about like legendary writers and they're just red M&Ms.
Am I right?
So crazy.
It's like, dude, Marlon Brando like held that movie hostage until they got World's Smallest Man on board.
Even Vivi was barely in it.
Like, I've heard more about the making of that movie than I have that movie.
Yeah.
Like Marlon Brando, I mean, I just don't know enough about the man's like really early career.
Like I've seen like, you know, on the waterfront or whatever it's called, but like, He must have taken off like such a rocket to have the pull to just be phoning it in for as long as he has been.
He was phoning it in all the way back in Superman.
He was phoning it in for 40 years or whatever.
Oh, man, if you want another making of movie that's better than the movie, the From Dusk Till Dawn one.
Holy shit.
That was a top to bottom mess.
And it's great to listen to.
I love how we haven't even pretended to talk about QAnon yet.
Not even close.
Nope, nope.
Hey, people need a little bit of small talk to sort of massage their way in to the actual adventure in Hellworld.
QAnon, never heard of it.
Prisoner's Destruction in Hellworld, Episode 1.
Yes, yeah.
We just riff off of however Sgt.
Elde takes the introduction, whatever path that is.
We just roll with it.
That's the whole 90 minutes.
We listen to your questions at the end that may or may not be Q-themed.
But whatever, hey.
What else are we going to do?
Nothing QAnon happened this week.
First week in like two years, no QAnon stuff.
It finally ended.
American politics returned to normal.
Life is great again.
It's just, it's just, it's refreshing.
It's totally refreshing.
Obama's president again.
I don't know how it works either, but I mean, they did it.
Oh man, there, I have now seen some hilarious, uh, why the people who are wondering why Trump hasn't declared himself president again.
Have created some great theories about this.
And I just saw one absolute galaxy-brained genius who was like, guys, did you know that a president can serve 10 years?
It's in the Constitution, bro.
So what Trump's doing is he's letting Biden have these two years.
And then like on January 21st, 2023, he's going to swoop in, take the presidency, get those two years, then get reelected in 2024 and get 10 full years of presidency.
Totally legal by the Constitution!
I mean, I've certainly heard weirder things that they believe.
Like JFK being alive and being any number of celebrities.
But that celebrity that you love?
Secretly, JFK Jr.
Isn't that crazy?
Isn't that wild?
JFK Jr.
gets around.
JFK Jr.
has been the lead singer of the Rolling Stones for 60 years or whatever.
You don't even know.
You don't even know.
I just love that they, like, it finally dawned on them what the Constitution reads when, like, literally every cynical idiot Republican was just like, yeah, they're just letting Biden have the first two years and they're gonna get Commie, Camila, Kamala to come in and have 10 years of tyranny over America.
And it's like, uh, No, none of this is true, but hey, whatever you need to do in order to, like, have your, like, hatred and rage at women to, like, boil over for a while.
I love the Republicans' idea that the American liberal is, at the same time, like, an incredibly timid soy boy cuck and the greatest threat to the country.
Like, impossible to imagine.
Power level over 9,000, just rippling with muscles and undermining us even as we speak.
They have all the power you don't even know!
Yeah, that's everything.
Like, simultaneously, the cabal is super, like, run by the greatest supervillains and evilest people in the world, and also they've never done anything.
And can be stopped by idiots at home, uh, from a computer.
Oh god, it's all cyanate.
But, uh, yeah.
Like, my favorite thing about the Cabal in their mythos is that they run everything, they stage every world war, they have every nook and cranny of the world under their grip.
And yet, in the course of the last, like, 60 years, they've let three people win the presidency they didn't want.
JFK, Reagan, and Trump all got in on them, and they were just like, oh shit!
I didn't see that coming!
How did this happen?
The most powerful office in the world, we've just let some guy we didn't want win, win.
All false flags.
All part of the plan, the Patriots are in control.
Real important, earlier I said from Dusk till Dawn I meant Bordello of Blood.
So, just... Oh thank god, I was... I mean, I was... All the Googling I was doing wasn't working so far.
No, I had to stop the emails before they came in.
We were just gonna get so many.
And I just wanted to stop them now.
I said from Dusk till Dawn... Yeah, I can't wait for next week's mailbag.
Why is Sarge so fucking broad?
And then, like, retraction.
Bordello Blood starring Dennis Miller and Corey Haim.
All these horrifying vampire movies make me think we need a content warning.
Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in-depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
I can't stop fucking up.
It was Corey Feldman, not Haim.
Corey Feldman, not Haim.
Wow, you're the worst.
But hey, I have a genuine question that I'm going to spring on Mike Rains to actually, like, do a topical pop culture reference that is QAnon-related.
Oh, what is it?
What a fucking wonderful world that we live in.
Mike Rains, what does QAnon think about Peacemaker, the TV show?
They certainly have to have an opinion, man.
They referenced the Deep State in that show several times.
Right now I have not seen a lot of Peacemaker traction inside of QAnon.
It took them a real long time to get into the boys and Homelander and trying to figure out if he was a good guy or not.
They cannot handle subtlety or symbolism.
And then they made that character a Nazi, and they were like, oh, finally, we can confirm that he's a good guy.
Right, exactly, exactly.
Like, that's the thing, is like, check back in with me like three months after the last episode of season one of Peacemaker airs, and then you're going to get some incredibly strong QAnon Peacemaker takes.
Because they're always just a few steps behind where the world is.
Nobody tell them about Like Peacemaker episode 5.
I mean, light spoilers for that, but at one point one of the characters straight up has to admit to another character that the stuff they're dealing with does in fact sound like the Deep State.
Oh yeah!
You're just like, it's not the Deep State, it's just a collection of like high-level corrupt government officials stopping our progress and doing a bunch of stuff.
And the other character sort of looks at them and they're just like, it sounds, that sort of sounds like a deep, it's like, yeah, okay, it's a Deep State.
We've got it.
The Deep State is confirmed.
And I was just like, oh shit.
Oh no.
Our main protagonist in this show is a white dude whose superpower is owns guns, and they just admitted the Deep State is real.
What is happening?
QAnon is going to be all over this.
Well, they will be.
Give them another four months, and they're just going to be like, oh my god, did you know that John Cena's totally pilled?
It's coming.
It's coming at some point, but they're just never on the bleeding edge of anything.
The only time they ever actually get it is when the media is literally tailor-made for them and serve them on a softball.
It's basically like the Joe Rogan podcast or anything like that.
Basically, you have to go after everything they care about.
If the next episode of Peacemaker was all about the vaccines being murderous, then they would wake up.
Then they would care about it.
But if you just, like, throw in a Deep State of Reverence here and there, like, it takes them a while to, like, wake up and catch it.
Man, wait until QAnon gets their hands on news radio.
Can you imagine?
Wait until QAnon finds The Invisibles, that comic from forever ago.
The Deep State is super real in that, and there's, like, an audio disease that they give you from just hearing a sound.
Oh, there's all sorts of shit in there.
Yeah.
Okay, well light and fluffy questions over.
Now it's time to talk about dumb fucking morons that exist in actual reality, starting with Ron Watkins.
Why are we talking about Ron Watkins this week?
I mean, we get to talk about Ron Watkins this week.
Yeah, we get to talk about Ron Watkins this week because he just made his first filing with the FEC about all the cold, hard cash he's been raking in as a candidate for the House of Representatives out of Arizona's 2nd District.
So what's his trip like, though?
Is he all flashed with the cash now?
Is he stepping out of Nampo's on the red carpet and being extra charismatic?
I know how much he has because me and Mike talked about it before the show.
Do you want to take a guess?
We've got you here.
Negative $280,000.
Negative $280,000.
He carries himself like a man who's got like a house, a house worth of money, like three
years ago, just in debt.
I think you're closer than you might realize.
Mike, give them the number and the origin of the money.
Right now, Ron Watkins' election cycle to date total is $32,942.22.
$32,942.22.
And, um, this money that he has, uh, is a, most of it is a loan from, uh,
Papa Watkins, uh, it's all from his daddy.
Yeah.
Actually, his dad cut him a check for $2,354.
His dad cut him a check for $2,354.
So about $2,500 of that 30 grand is his dad giving him a loan to try to get this ship floating.
So the other $20,000 or so...
That's how Trump got started, baby!
Loan shark daddy!
Let's fucking go!
I've got certified 3-0's Lexus money, baby!
Ron has also declared that he raised that $32,000, but his total disembursements, his total spending was $17,000.
So he has about $17,000 still on hand, or a little bit less.
So he's blown through more than half of the tiny amount of money that he has raised so far.
Quite the war chest.
And some of that was floated to him by Pop Pop.
This rare Evangelion Blu-ray collection is a campaign expense.
This psychological fuel allows me to do war on the digital battlefield.
God, he has all the charisma of a turnip.
Because he did his first public appearance, right?
He did.
He did his first public appearance.
He, like, was literally on the street in Arizona, like, just had some cameras set up and a microphone, and he attracted a grand total of 100 people to listen to him give his kind of stilted, rambling, nonsense speech about fighting for the freedoms of the good people of Arizona's 2nd District.
And this was really unsuccessful, as you can probably tell.
He carries himself with the charisma of what I imagine you would get in a real Frosty the Snowman-slash-Mannequin-style situation.
Like, a loose collection of traits that one would recognize as being human, but it never really comes together in a way that has any sort of real force behind it.
He's just sort of like an animated suit that walked in there.
Yeah, I will never on air speculate on someone's mental faculties because you're not supposed to do that, but I don't know catch me catch me offline.
We'll talk.
Yeah, but God Ron Watkins like well, I mean Marjorie Taylor Greene got got in for Chicanery and like Uh, just work in the system.
I don't even think with that Ron could get, like, primaried.
He is just one of the most repugnant human beings.
Like, anytime they've talked to him, I'm just like, how did this man fool an entire nation, let alone, like, internet forum?
I mean.
Yeah.
I know the answer, but the thing about Marjorie is that she has money. Marjorie had a business.
She was raking in the bucks. And then she like talked to people about running for office. And
they told her the district you're living in is too competitive. You need to carpetbag
her into a different district and start being a mover and shaker. And she started like talking
the talk and talking people up. And she got endorsed by Matt Gates. That's a great endorsement.
That won't come back to haunt her. She got endorsed by like Jim Jordan. She threw her
own money into the campaign. She She put a half million dollars or so into her own war chest.
She actually had an operation system designed to do this.
A rich white woman.
A rich white woman who had connections, was able to use those connections to get endorsements in a district that was literally cherry-picked for her to win.
Whereas Ron Watkins is just like, I'm running in this district, and he didn't even know what district he was running in.
He's just chasing after the only Democrat who has a seat in the House.
Yeah, bro, but I think you're missing the bigger picture, which is he brought $34,000, baby.
That's a lot of cheddar cheese.
Yes, that's a lot of cheddar cheese.
of cheddar cheese. Yes! That's a lot of cubux. 34,000 cubux.
$34,000.
Oh man. That is like pretty close to $50,000 which sounds like a decent amount of money doesn't
it?
Oh man, yeah.
Let me tell you.
Oh boy.
I have such a garbage brain.
When I hear that, all I can think of is the live-action Street Fighter movie when M. Bison's like, they're bison dollars.
They'll be worth so much.
And it's just a delusional madman.
Yeah, except in the real world it's even worse than that because these are real actual dollars that have a real actual value.
And the collection he has is quite small.
He has quite the small collection of these pieces of paper.
Oh man, so... I just wonder... Oh, the other thing that's really awesome in his campaign that's just roaring along is he's asking people to volunteer for him to get signatures to put him on the ballot in Arizona.
When you know if you're like a real campaign you like raise money and then you pay those people money to get the signatures for you.
You don't just hope that Arizona's 2nd District has a big enough QAnon populace and that they're willing to like do the whole Ron's not really Q but he kind of is so we're going to work for him because that'll be cool.
Like, that's not how you run a campaign that actually gets you on the ballot, is like, just hoping the good hearts of the people of Arizona's 2nd District will have them standing in front of shopping malls and supermarkets asking people to sign petitions.
I mean, especially because he has no reach.
He does not have the money to run, like, TV spots or whatever, so... Or put up billboards, like... I mean, I think it's like... It's just that they're pressing the actual flash, relying on his physical charisma, which seems, again, as I speculated earlier, not great.
It costs a couple grand just to put up a billboard for a month, and he can't even really afford to do that.
Like, I don't even- Has a billboard ever swayed either of you in your entire fucking life?
Man, I'm sure it's got- one has gotten me to buy a product at some point.
It's certainly fast food.
Although, in those situations, I'm not sure that the billboard would have done any more than just seeing the sign for the place.
You know how, like, off the side of highways, like, McDonald's would put their sign on, like, a long pole, like, reaching towards the heavens so that you could see it from far away, and it'd be like, oh shit, it's Mickey D's time.
I'm trying to, like... It certainly lets me know when the local gun shows are happening.
That's about, like... Pornography stores?
Yeah, pornography stores.
It'd be like, Super Palace, just off of Interstate 43.
And you're like, oh god, no.
Yeah.
I think the piece of advertisement that probably had the biggest impact on me and Elle's life was one day when I was walking around Ye Olde Mall.
On the floor, they had taken like four tiles and they'd put an ad there for the Smokey Bones.
And I was like, that sounds good.
And that became me and Elle's eating location for a while back in the day.
To be fair, it was pretty medium.
It was seriously mediocre.
We've had several mediocre eating establishments, like Bugaboo Creek.
Yes, oh god, the Bugaboo Creek!
That sounds racist.
I will just say it.
It had animatronic animals inside, like Billy the Bass and otters popping out of barrels and stuff.
It was exceptionally bizarre.
They had a good nacho plate, so what are you gonna do?
Was it like a made over Shoney's?
It was owned by the same people who own Outback Steakhouse.
But it was supposed to be like Northern Exposure style.
Right, it was supposed to be like the Canadian version of Outback, where instead of Aussie land, it's like, it's like the Great White North!
Isn't that awesome?
Now eat your Bloomin' Onion that we call the, I don't know, the Timmy Horton Onion?
The Aruraburi Onion!
Yeah!
Okay, I'm looking at pictures.
Bugaboo!
Wow, this is real!
And it is clearly more interesting to talk about than Rod Wackett, so I don't like his political career.
That's fucking potato!
You know who managed to parlay their big general shitbag into a successful political career?
It's Donald Trump.
And as always, we have an opportunity to talk about Trump that we are going to seize upon this week.
So I'll toss it back to Mr. Mike Rains to fill you in on the Trumpian details.
And the one thing we want to let you know, folks, is that Ron Watkins is not news.
Donald Trump is news, and that's why we play the News Bump now.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Literally forgot that we didn't play that yet.
Can't stop dunking, won't stop dunking.
No.
That was a great way to just really just kick him in the ass on the way out.
Yeah.
We're talking about Trump now.
Daddy's here.
Daddy's here.
Call him for pardons and violence.
Pardons and violence.
If you did violence, you get a pardon.
If Trump gets elected, which I can't believe it's not illegal to say that.
He is going to run for President from a jail cell, if that ever happened.
In the one in a million shot that ever happened, that Trump went to jail, he would just declare his campaign from jail, which has happened previously in America's history.
So, it'd be great.
What point did DC Comics' Lex Luthor successfully ran for President of the United States?
In reality, our Lex Luthor is Donald Trump.
He's not smart or conniving or like... He doesn't have a robot suit.
He just says racist things and white people vote for him.
It's so fucking bizarre.
It's so much more depressing, like...
At least in DC, Lex Luthor had everyone fooled, and then when people thought he was evil, he cloned himself and killed the clone to get the heat off of him.
But whatever, I would still vote for jumping into a power suit to battle Superman one-on-one over the skies of Metropolis, Lex Luthor, the Donald Trump.
Because one of them has the acumen to build a Kryptonite-powered robot suit.
I would, I would, I will say this on record.
I would vote for Lex Luthor over Donald Trump.
If those were my choices, absolutely.
I remember right after Trump got into office and he was just like, oh no, my kids are going to run my businesses.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
That someone brought up the fact that like when Luther was president, he actually did divest from LexCorp.
And they were just like, Lex Luthor is more ethical than our current real life president.
Yeah, I remember all those hot takes.
So, Back to the actual news, he stated he would look at pardons for January 6th insurrectionists if he were to be re-elected in the next presidential election, which
That has to be a violation of some law somewhere, right?
Welcome to the First Amendment.
So Trump is now starting to make it clearer and clearer that, well, guess what boys and girls?
This is the biggest shocker of all shockers.
I'm going to run for president again in 2024 because I got nothing better to do.
Trump was caught on the golf course declaring that he is the 45th and
sued to be 47th president of the United States, going the old Grover Cleveland route there.
And as Sarge has brought up, Trump had himself a bit of a rally in Arizona.
And at that rally, he stated, first of all, that anyone who's still in jail or
got charges against him for January 6th, that when he gets back into the White
House, if he has to pardon those people to give justice to them, he will do so.
Or at least he'll strongly look into it.
And that is not great.
Then on top of that, he was talking about how these evil, corrupt prosecutors
We'll see you next time.
Like in Georgia, and New York, and federal prosecutors.
And it's not really surprising that he's naming those places, because Georgia's the place where he literally called up someone and was like, hey, can you find me some extra votes?
You know, win me this election that I lost.
Just cheat for me.
Just steal the election for me, Mr. Georgia elected official.
I'm not asking for anything criminal or anything.
Just to overturn the will of democracy.
You could do that for me, right, bro?
And New York is dealing with all of his tax shit and all that stuff.
And of course, the 1-6 committee is looking over all the fun stuff that we got going on there, which we'll get into more down the line.
Wow, he really doesn't seem to like any of the places that are looking into him for doing crime.
Yeah, he doesn't like any of the places that have his tax and financial records.
Or just any stick of his crime, like he's trying to, like, fucking, like, turn elected officials into, like, you know, fucking, like, his own personal agents and, you know, all of his shady tax dealings in New York and all of the one sick shit in DC, and he's just like, I would like to officially condemn these places that continue to investigate me for my various crimes.
Yes, exactly.
We've alleged various crimes, yes.
Did they ever come around on whether a president could pardon himself?
Because I know you've said it floated that.
Uh, the constitutional scholars and all that good stuff have said that they don't think a president can pardon themselves and that what Nixon did where he resigned and then Ford pardoned him is probably kind of the only way you can go about doing that.
And there were people that were thinking that on January 19th, like right before his ass was out the door and Biden was taking office, That Trump was going to literally print out a pardon for all of his crimes, hand it to Pence, resign, swear Pence in, and then Pence was going to sign it.
And that was going to literally get him out of jail free card.
Tag team style?
Reach into the ring?
Oh, hit me bro!
Just tag me real quick!
But looking back at it now, that doesn't even seem like that outside-of-the-pocket, corrupt-ass idea from American Republicans.
It's just completely bananas.
I mean, their whole shtick right now is just looking at the plainly obvious crime of January 6th and being like, behold, no crime.
This is all totally above board.
All this breaking and entering, at the very least, was great.
It was huge.
I mean, we really, if anything, we should be rewarding these boys for all of this, not crime.
Yep.
First of all, 1-6 was entirely done by the FBI infiltrators and Antifa and Black Lives Matter and George Soros.
But also, everybody in jail from 1-6 needs a pardon, because they are all just peaceful patriots who are peacefully protesting, and then got railroaded by a corrupt system, with the exception of maybe Stuart Rhodes, who is probably Antifa also himself.
See, that's what Joe Exotic needed to do when he wanted his pardon, was to just, like, try and- well, he was already in jail before January 6th.
He should have stormed the Capitol, not tried to kill a woman in Florida.
He should have just gotten on the horn with Trump and promised him a bunch of tigers.
Yeah, so many tigers!
I'm sure there was a number of tigers or a type of tiger that Trump would bite on.
Trump Jr.
in an interview was just like, we love Tiger King 2 and I was blown away to find out you could get a tiger for 5 grand.
That's so cheap!
I could have had so many tigers!
And it's like, hey man, that's not the takeaway from this documentary.
Well, I mean, I've got his back on this one.
It was certainly one of the takeaways I had when I watched the documentary.
I was like, damn.
I was like, tigers are much cheaper to acquire than I would have thought.
I'm sure it's a nightmare to feed them, of course, and house them, but the actual acquisition of one, I was just like, oh, it's got to be at least 20 grand, right?
But no, you can get fucking full ass tigers at discount tiger prices.
What a country.
So we're saying that Ron Watkins could own six and a quarter tigers if he decided to take his campaign funds in that direction.
Bro, I'm sure that some people would be more likely to vote for him if he was just a guy surrounded by tigers.
I would.
I'd be more likely to vote for him if he had a bunch of tigers.
At least then he'd be interesting.
There you go!
At Hellworld, as Ron Watkins' campaign managers run, just dump all the money you have left into whatever tigers you can get your hands on.
Tigers are hot, kid!
We're invested heavily into tigers!
We're getting tigers!
We're gonna make tiger NFTs!
Oh god, you know it.
Tiger King 2 is coming out, and boom!
We're gonna go straight to the moon!
It's gonna be just as popular the second time around, you'll see!
No, you can't miss!
Can't miss!
So, in response to Trump talking about how those evil, corrupt people in the states where he has probably done the crime, He had stated that if any of these evil corrupt prosecutors happen to actually, you know, indict him for the shit he did, he hopes that the people of America will rise up and take to the streets in protest against Trump being arrested.
So, the man who totally didn't call for an insurgency on 1-6 in any way, shape, or form, and was totally innocent on that front, is now totally innocently calling for totally non-violent protests should he be arrested for crimes sometime in the near future.
I'm not calling for violence.
Wink.
Except when I'm in.
Please, please do violence on my behalf.
If they, like, charge me with anything.
I wonder what level of violence he actually wants.
It couldn't, like, for all of the, you know, incitement he was doing, it seems like he probably, if he's willing to go back to the well, it certainly seems like he wouldn't have been pleased with the limited amount of violence he got on 1-6.
Like, that day certainly sucked, but it could have been much worse.
Americans have access to a lot of firearms.
Yeah.
I mean, he's already, like you said, he's already in a ton of trouble for 1-6.
There's a congressional committee actively investigating him and getting really close.
Closer than anyone else has gotten, even the two impeachments.
And now he's just like... He didn't call for violence with any of the impeachments, right?
No, he was just mostly just whining about the corrupt Democrats because he knew that he was never going to get convicted in the impeachments.
He knew that he had the Republicans under his thumb and there was no actual danger to him.
And so he was told that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure he didn't know that.
He was told that by somebody.
Yeah.
Well, and now like.
That just shows me that the 1-6 committee and Georgia and New York are getting real close to doing some actual things if he feels like he needs to call for violence.
Wouldn't it be great if Matt Gaetz knew something and eventually the heat got turned up on him enough where he had to start spilling his guts about, like, Trumpian-level nonsense?
Like, I'm not Blue Anon, but shit like that gets me real close.
That would be great.
I just want the heat to get turned up on Matt Gaetz so high that he's just like, uh, I have the pee tape.
And everyone's just like, what?
And he's just like, yeah, I got it.
I mean, I collect all sorts of weird tapes.
I'm going to need you to pardon me.
Don't look at these ones that are not named after underage girls.
Do not look at these.
Just this one that says Trump gross.
There's one that's erroneously labeled Waterworld.
Like, that's my real question about Matt Gaetz and his whole heap of trouble, is that, like, for all he is, he's like, really, I mean, if he goes down, he's a representative, and I know he's a rich boy that had daddy's money buy him his Congress seat and get him out of all of his DUIs, but...
There are so many bigger fish in Florida Republican politics that Gates had been rubbing elbows with for so long, and it's like, if he could bring down DeSantis or some other cretins, that would just be delicious.
So, I mean, a boy can dream, but because I have to rein in my Blue Anon power levels and try to avoid thinking about such things, you kind of have to maintain that Believe it when you see it mentality when it comes to bullshit.
Yeah, well I feel like the difference between us and Bluedot is that we're just like wishfully hoping that somehow Matt Gaetz has goods on somebody of actual importance.
Yeah, I just want to see this criminalized consequences.
I mean, even if not, I think we're all perfectly going to be satisfied with him getting pinched for sex with an underage girl, like human trafficking or whatever.
I want Matt Gaetz to go down for crimes he committed.
I don't care if Trump sees the inside of a jail cell, I just want to see him charged so that he cannot run again.
Or convicted, right?
If you're convicted of a felony, you can't run for president?
Uh, that I'm not sure about.
But I mean, even if he is, then Pence is just going to reveal the secret pardon.
He was like, Trump has pardoned himself for future crimes.
When he was the president, he did this and I have it and then it's it's gonna be like a like a Billy Mitchell Donkey Kong tape moment.
We have to verify.
Oh, man.
I mean, like, Trump would absolutely try something like that.
I don't put anything past him.
I mean, he is like the wrestling heel of presidents.
Yeah, he's been an actual wrestling heel.
I think he's the only president to appear on WWE.
So, God.
I mean, he should just start rocking a luchador mask.
He should just lead into it and just be like some evil wrestling heel president.
I'm so embarrassed for our country.
Every time we talk about Trump, it's just like, how the fuck did we get here?
Like, really?
America kind of sucks.
Yeah.
I remember there was like a photo of like Trump with Linda McMahon and a bunch of other creds and I think there were a couple other celebrities that were somehow on the periphery in WWE and someone had the caption that like 65% of the people in this photo have taken a stone-cold stunner and it was including the president.
It's just like god damn it really?
Like this is where we're at?
God, one of the McMahons got, like, a position because of Trump.
Holy shit.
Yep.
Oh yeah, it's super awesome.
It's great.
I mean, Stone Cold was out there, he was really putting in the work, so I believe it.
Yeah, hey!
Yeah, I mean, America's a fucked up place.
We got some stuff right, we got a bunch of other stuff very wrong.
It's quite wild.
I have to imagine for our international audience like being on the outside looking into America has got to be just completely berserk because we just have to see it like this like sugar rush toddler with all the guns just doing whatever the fuck we want.
Just all these other countries with better healthcare systems just being like, you spend how much on your military?
And people are dying because they can't afford insulin, and it's like, yeah, it's really fucked up.
Like, it is really fucked up.
They're just like, oh shit, it's this gay from New York in there already, that's crazy.
And we're just like, that's not all the way true.
Is anyone as cool as Snake Plissken?
From what I hear, things are much better in Canada, which means that I'm disappointed that one of the headlines that allegedly we have to talk about on this week's episode involves some sort of Canadian trucker idiocy.
Now, this is one of those things that I had seen as background radiation in my internetting for a day, but I never really looked into it.
What the fuck was going on at the border?
So there were Canadian truckers who were trying to gum up some border crossings between America and Canada because this Canadian trucker rally allegedly began because of vaccine mandates that were being instituted for Canadian truckers to cross into America, which even if they were somehow able to bend the Canadian government to their will, They would then need the Canadian government to then bend the American government to their will in order to get rid of all that.
So this whole thing that sort of started off as, uh, we're tired of vaccine mandates and we're not going to take it anymore.
Then just sort of monestetized into a just universal, we hate vaccines, we hate Justin Trudeau, we hate everything about liberalism in Canada, we're dumb angry morons, and also far more importantly, someone started a GoFundMe for this Canadian trucker thing and is raking in all the cash.
So yeah, this Canadian Trucker Rally that, again, has a GoFundMe.
The GoFundMe, I believe, was at like $7 million at some point.
So whoever started this whole thing has started to really cash in on Yeah, and the mainstream media, like, and I hate saying it like that, but it's true, the mainstream media keeps reporting that there are 50,000 truckers involved, and they're getting that from the organizer of this trucker rally.
One of the towns they drove to... There's gonna be like two, two and a half billion of us.
So, because of Knowledge Fight, I know that the exact number of registered truckers in Canada is 3.2 million.
And, no, 300,000.
I'm way off.
Just ignore me.
It's 300,000 truckers.
Let me fact check this thing's numbers with my own wrong numbers.
Yeah, I keep getting wrong.
So, The head organizer says there's 50,000 truckers involved.
One of the towns they drove through did a rough count and it was well south of that.
It was maybe even, like, it was barely even a thousand, if that.
But that's not accounting for, like, people that have joined along the way.
And they have gummed up one of the big border crossings, but the Mounties are just going in and Arresting people and moving trucks at this point, and they're trying to resolve it peacefully, but more truckers come and it turns out... They will execute truckers on site now.
It has been Canadian... Justin Trudeau was just like, it's now open season on Canadian truckers.
It turns out it doesn't take a lot of big trucks to block a border crossing highway.
Yeah, and that's kind of a crime.
So yeah, I mean, yeah, I understand trying to talk to these people and be rational, but they're irrational.
So I just went to the GoFundMe site.
And when I said $7 million, I was wrong.
That thing now has over $10 million in funding for this dumb grift scam.
And the best part is if you click on the top donors, The top donor is Anonymous, who donated $30,000.
The second-best donor is Anonymous, who donated $25,000 after theRangelangley, www.therangelangley.com, donated $18,000 for their little ad on the site.
The next highest donor is anonymous again, who donated $17,000, $17,076,
because they had to get 7076 in there in some way, shape or form. But there are a lot, a lot,
a lot of anonymous five-figure donations of 10 grand to this thing.
As a matter of fact, there's like four in a row, anonymous, anonymous, anonymous, $10K, $10K, $10K, $10K.
So if you're looking for just, I don't know, aggressive money laundering... I was like, that sounds like some money laundering shit to me.
Yeah, guess what?
A bunch of these truckers who are blocking the highway, they've had their pictures taken, and one was not an independent trucker.
He had the sticker of the company he worked for, and they were like, you're fired.
He also had a big, he's a Canadian trucker, but he had a big three percenter flag on the hood of his truck, which the Canadian government considers the three percenters to be a domestic terrorist organization.
The American government has not gone that far.
Yeah, get the stepping American government.
Let's go.
Yeah, I mean, if you could get ICP gang status, certainly you'd get the 3% terrorist status.
Let's fucking go.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's baffling.
The main trucker union in Canada does not support this.
They've said no one involved with us is involved because they support the vaccine mandate and most truckers in Canada are not part of this and are vaccinated because they wanted to keep working and also aren't big whiny piss babies.
Yeah, and it's now it just keeps getting diluted and more people glomming on to this thing that we don't even really know what the protest is about anymore.
But there are a lot of people with Nazis.
General white nationalism.
Yeah, there's a lot of people with Nazi symbols on their truck showing up a lot and that's getting hard to deny.
The best part about that is that the QAnon people that are defending this and supporting this brave movement for freedom and how we're taking back Canada because we really cared about Canada five minutes ago, but now that it's happening there, it's cool.
Whenever you bring up the fact that there are all these Nazi flags or Confederate flags, because you know the whole heritage not hate thing, there was a lot of proud Confederates that were in Canada.
The Northern Front, as we called it in the American Civil War.
The Canadian sacking of Boston in 1862 was a devastating blow for Union morale.
All of this stuff, when it happens, again, QAnon, because they will never take responsibility for fucking anything, will be like, oh, those are infiltrators, those are just Antifa people trying to make us look bad, there's only a few Confederate flags and only a few Nazi flags in our rallies, and again, those are just bad actors glomming onto us, and it's like, You can kick them out, you know?
Like, if your convoy has someone waving a Nazi flag or a Confederate flag, you can, you can, like, stop the convoy and people can get out of their trucks and be like, hey, buddy, buddy, they take that flag down.
That flag has no place in our peaceful... Yeah, if only there were some way that truckers could solve this problem with people that they don't like, like, being in their midst.
Maybe I'm romanticizing the average trucker, but they seem like the sort of people that would just beat the shit out of somebody.
Who's gonna blame you?
Right.
Yeah, or block an entire highway and then get arrested.
And I don't feel like the Canadian government's gonna be kind to these people.
Yeah, the other thing that's going on with this this movement is that in a lot of ways it's like a really low rent version of Occupy Wall Street because the truckers like publicly are talking about how we're not going to stop until all the vaccine mandates have gone away and Trudeau resigns in disgrace and we get a real patriot in as the Prime Minister and we're going nowhere and If you've been following, uh, I posted a link to, uh, like a trucker, um, look, someone's listening to the trucker broadband or the truckers, uh, radio broadcasts and the actual inside the, the, the convoy morale is low.
People are getting upset about the fact that they don't have bathrooms to shit in and that people have been shitting in snow banks and not a lot of food.
Cause they really didn't plan this out, but they're at this mentality of just
like being so aggressive and that like, we're, we're taking the country back
and nothing's going to stop us and everything's great and it's like, no,
actually this is going to flame out.
And it's going to flame out like probably in the next week or two.
And really the, like, the only thing that's like worrisome is the fact that.
It is possible.
Some of these dumb dumbs might do something violent at some point, because
They are going to realize that this is all going to be for nothing.
All of QAnon is like, they made Trudeau run away and he's faking a COVID case in order to not face his attackers and his accusers.
And it's like, Trudeau will be back in a week or two and nothing's going to happen to him.
It turns out when a bunch of violent people announce that they're coming to a place where you keep your leader, You move the leader to, like, cut that off at the head.
That's pretty 101 shit for, like, security.
They're like, oh, a bunch of violent armed people are coming here, sir.
We're going to move you not here.
Okay, turns out I can Prime Minister or President from basically anywhere.
So, yeah.
Right.
That was one of the funniest things that QAnon was talking about right before Biden got sworn in was that they were talking about how like this, that like chain link fence was being put up all around where Biden, basically around where Biden, the balcony where Biden was gonna be sworn in.
And like DC was on lockdown.
And they were like, Biden and the deep state don't see that it's a trap.
They have to go behind the chain-link fence to take the presidency.
But will they ever escape it?
And I was like, no.
Biden can be sworn in president in his house in Delaware if he wants to.
He doesn't have to go to the physical White House to take the oath of office.
You can take the oath wherever you want.
I mean, fucking LBJ took it on Air Force One in Dallas.
Yeah, you don't even need a Bible.
Like, there's no...
Separation of church and state.
Also, there's no... God damn it.
They're also stupid.
Yeah, there's no geographical requirement for you taking the oath.
There's no... you have to swear it on a holy document requirement.
Nothing.
Someone says a bunch of words that you repeat back to them and then you're the president.
Boom.
Nailed it.
I mean, it's it.
And the same thing, if the Prime Minister isn't in Ottawa for 200 days, they forfeit the Prime
Minister of Canada status. No, that doesn't exist. Trudeau can just be wherever he is, and until
his party loses an election, or his party says, you're no longer running our party anymore,
he's still the Prime Minister. That's how that works.
No, it's just like the Supreme Court can totally overturn a duly appointed presidential election.
Yep.
Absolute 9-0.
They have that power.
They could just swear Trump in.
They totally can do that.
Whenever they want to.
Much like Trump can reclaim the presidency whenever he wants to.
He's devolved the government.
He can run in with a chair, and if he can run in with a chair and hit Biden, he's the president.
Yeah, run in with a chair and a ref, hit Biden with a chair, pin him, ref counts three, boom.
Trump's president.
That's how this works.
We are- We're lucky they have all this power and aren't using it.
Much like our good friends over at Spotify, who have all the power in the world and are not using it to do anything punitive to Joe Rogan, even as they lose musical artists left and right.
And huge stock numbers.
So what's the situation here, boyos?
Why are we talking about Joe Rogan v. Spotify?
So Joe Rogan kept putting out COVID vaccine misinformation.
Even when he had people on his show fact-checking him, he would still deny it.
He did it so much that Neil Young and other... Neil Young basically started a movement saying, I want Spotify to end their contract with Joe Rogan because he keeps putting out misinformation.
Now, that was never going to happen.
They gave him $100 million.
Spotify is in the Joe Rogan business.
So, But it did start a movement, and multiple other musicians and other podcasters have said they're moving off Spotify, or Science Vs., an award-winning podcast, has said they're not going to do any more regular episodes.
They're just going to do episodes fact-checking Joe Rogan from here on out.
No you're not.
You're fucking lying.
Spotify has said that Spotify specifically said they're going to put a content warning before every episode of the
Joe Rogan experience saying He's a big dumb dumb and then Joe Rogan came out and
apologized and said I haven't done good enough And I'm gonna try and do better
Which no you're not yeah The timing of the apology is suspect but
It was the right move I I mean, I don't like Joe Rogan, I don't think anyone should listen to him, but he gave a better apology than most of these shitheads, so I'll give him credit there.
That's the thin amount of credit you should give him.
I love the fact that another podcast has literally said, we are going to become Knowledge Fight for Joe Rogan, because that's a thing that needs to exist now.
I mean, that is just so wild that like, this is... An award-winning science podcast.
Yeah, they just gave up on their current form.
We should jump on that wagon too.
We should make it like a thing.
We should see how many podcasts we can flip over to just be Knowledge Fight for Joe Rogan Experience.
Steve, I mean, Steve Bannon is running his podcast, and that is absolutely something that someone should, like, do the debunk on.
There are so many dumb, like, right-wing rabbit holes just full of shitty grifters that I think people would absolutely want to see aggressively, like, attacked.
No way, man.
The part that tickles me is the idea of a bunch of people doing the same thing.
It just literally...
Just like hundreds of different flavors of podcasters debunking and dunking on Joe Rogan every week?
I mean, it wouldn't be, like, it wouldn't be super hard.
Like, I've seen so many clips, like, of people on his own show just checking him, and then he just denies it.
And, yeah, nah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, the thing is, is that he just, that the clip that you're basically talking about where the guy brings up the fact that my myocarditis happens way more when you get COVID than when you get the vaccine.
And Joe's like, are you talking about kids?
And then they look it up and it is about kids.
And then it was like, is it about this thing?
And it is about this thing.
And the whole time Joe's just looking for an out.
He's just desperate to find it out and he can't do it.
And the whole time that he's being boxed in, he's just like, no.
Even though I'm seeing reality slap me in the face, I refuse to acknowledge it because I'm so wed to the narrative that I've created and that this is a thing that literally people who've been dealing with cults and disinformation and all this stuff have talked about in perpetuity is that showing someone that they're wrong does very little to make them admit they're wrong.
And very often they will double down on their wrongness rather than admit it.
Just because you show someone the evidence that they fucked up, they're not going to be like, oh, I fucked up.
You're right.
Man, I got to give you that one.
You had the right of it, good sir.
You saw things clearly and I didn't.
That doesn't happen.
Instead, usually the person just rejects your argument, stamps their feet and gets mad about it.
And then it just says, I'm going to embrace my wrongness even harder.
That wraps up our teaser for the Joe Rogan Experience experience, our podcast within our podcast, where, of course, we break down this week's episode with the Joe Rogan Experience.
As always, I've been your host, the Mysterious L. Oh, the worst- that's like a real monkey-paw future.
We make our fortune on the Joe Rogan Experience experience, but it means we have to listen to the Joe Rogan Experience every week.
They're also definitely going to sue us for that name, although that's the hill we got to die on.
That's the perfect name for it, right?
The Joe Rogan Experience Experience.
Yeah.
I was thinking of calling it Experiencing Joe Rogan, because, like, I look at you now- I look at it from a sexual angle.
Like, yeah, Experiencing.
Or J- J-R-X-X.
Joe Rogan Experience Experience.
I mean, JRXX is... I mean, if you're never actually spelling out what it stands for, maybe that is the best way to get around being sued.
It's copyrighted.
No one steal.
That's ours.
That's gonna be part of our merchandise.
That's OC.
Don't steal.
Yeah, don't steal.
And the best part about that is that you two wouldn't end up listening to much of Joe Rogan.
I'd just be playing the clips for you.
I'm the one who'd have to go through dealing with him all the time.
So, oh man.
That would be both a hoot and a holler.
I would find a way to stream news radio, and like every week I would bring news radio clips from Joe Rogan.
Yeah, I mean, like, he didn't do anything else after that except for like...
Did he do Fear Factor for like a thousand years?
Yeah, he hosted Fear Factor and he got into being like the analyst for the UFC.
Yeah, UFC.
He was deep into UFC and he took down Carlos Mencia, which is like the only good thing he's done in his life.
Yeah, he was a stand-up comic who got a little buzz in a few other ways, and he just got into podcasting super early, and then when podcasting blew up, he was the man, because he'd been doing it for so goddamn long.
Him and Kevin Smith.
Yeah.
And wasn't Adam Carolla also one of the big-time pillars of pottery back in the day?
Adam Carolla, yes.
He's like the pantheon of old-timer podcasters that are just white men with white men opinions.
Didn't he also go the way of Joe Rogan and is a conservative shithead now?
Yep.
100%.
Just miserable, rich, white guys who are mad that they just don't get things now and are just like, but I'm successful.
I'm rich.
I'm white.
I'm a dude.
I should totally be able to understand the world at all times.
And if I don't, that's the world's fault.
So I should be allowed to be mad at the world for not catering to my needs, even though it has by granting me immense wealth in my privileged lifestyle.
Yeah, so you know, The American Dream.
Yes!
That's literally what we all aspire to.
Like, we have the Caucasian male part down, we're just missing the wealth and success part, and then we too can be like Adam Carolla.
Ah, the dream.
Or like Kevin Smith.
Mmm, so much better.
I mean, he does have multiple very successful podcasts, and that allows him to make mediocre to bad movies, so.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, you can't take away the guy's career.
He's successful in a number of fields, but he's sort of like Guy Fieri pre-Guy Fieri redemption.
It's just really easy to look at him colored in that light of just being like, eh.
Like, I don't know.
Like how I always felt about Joss Whedon, but now everybody else also feels about Joss Whedon.
So good.
It feels so awesome to be validated about that.
It's just like, yeah, guys, he's always sucked.
It was pretty obvious if you just wanted to pay attention.
Hey, if only, if only people would wake up, that would be nice.
I mean, if only Joe Rogan's audience would wake up one day and just be like, Oh, right, this guy is a, like, why are we listening to this guy?
He's just some sort of rando comedian.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm just happy that one of my favorite podcasts, LAD Podcasts, last podcast on the left is back in general population.
They're not a Spotify exclusive anymore.
So I don't really have to use Spotify anymore if I don't want to.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, how old are you going to listen to last podcast on the left and they sell out to Spotify?
No, I just said they're they're back in gym pop their contract with them with Spotify is up.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought I thought you had mentioned another podcast.
Well, fuck me then.
Yeah.
You could not be more wrong.
I mean, hey, well, let's put a disclaimer in front of our podcast about me being wrong.
And me.
I think I'm on my, like, fourth correction.
We'll get the Spotify treatment.
We'll get softly tickled in our belly because we're just like, we were bad boys.
We could just start being wrong about everything on our podcast and get a hundred million dollar contract.
I mean, that'd be great.
That would allow us to the fame and wealth levels that would allow us to become jaded, just like all of our heroes.
Yes!
Also like Adam Carolla and Kevin Smith.
The Snyder Cut was worth it.
We definitely needed to go back to that well.
Like, hey, there we go.
Yep.
Hundred million dollars, please.
Oh, God.
We did it.
We earned it.
We did it, boys.
Oh, man.
Hey, I mean, we started with the white maleness and then we turned into just incorrect morons about everything.
I mean, I think what we really need to do is to just start... We need to go down the Joe Rogan path of bringing right-wing guests onto our podcast and just act like we're not working in cahoots with them as we let them just lie in our faces constantly.
And over the course of time, we can then just talk about, Hey, look, man, we're just bringing on differing opinions.
And so what if like five of our past, like seven guests were right-wing extremists?
The other two were neutral comedians.
So clearly we're not like a right-wing podcast, right?
No way, man.
That's already been done.
Our gimmick is to bring them on and then just fiercely empathize with them and just agree with their whole vibe and just be like, you know what?
I really do see that whites are just superior.
Thanks for coming on the show today.
No one clip that, please.
The Getting Pilled podcast where we bring in a lot of the pillows and we just totally fall in love.
And you just let it happen.
You're just like, we're just sick into pills.
I'm gonna start going to physical therapy.
I'm gonna get our first guest.
I'm just gonna start going through.
Yeah, just start looking for a pelvic floor specialist.
Oh my God, that would be the ultimate get.
100%, no irony here.
If that lady ever came out of the shadows, she opened the invitation to be on the pod to explain to us about all the horrors you saw in Hollywood.
I'm here for you.
I would love to just sit there and listen to this crazy woman who literally destroyed a guy's life and created a cottage industry.
In the grifter sphere, through that idiot Sundman's money.
Oh my god.
I can't stop thinking about sick about pills.
We're really knocking them out of the park today.
JRXX, sick about pills.
Yeah, I mean, the merch is just gonna, once the merch machine turns on, it's gonna be a never-ending... It's just a money machine.
We're gonna make our non-existent editor go through all of our podcasts and get to all the points where we're making jokes about that being merch, and then finally start cranking out merch.
Put a raisin on it.
Oh, I was willing to let that one die.
Die in the past.
That's like the classic line.
We can't let put a raisin on it die.
Turboteen.
I think we could just steal that.
Like, they're not using it.
Turboteen!
Excellent point.
Alright, you want to get to our mailbag and reward our listeners for their questions?
Please.
Sounds like a plan.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
So Peter Miller, who has a blue checkmark and thusly we have to answer all of his questions, asks the age-old question, would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?
The tiny ones!
Unless they're venomous, I want to fight a bunch of small things.
Yeah, one horse-sized duck sounds fucking terrifying.
Are you kidding me?
It could bite you in half with its beak, just... Yeah, I don't think the duck-sized horses are really any great shakes.
I could take them.
So I'm pretty... I'm with the rest of the Hellworld team on that one.
And even if we lose, I feel like at least I'm going to go down swigging, versus just randomly getting kicked in my chest and having all my bones explode by this fucking enormous duck.
Yeah, that's like, do you want to fight one giant man or a ton of tiny men?
It's like, I guess the tiny one.
It would also have to be more fun to fight a bunch of them, right?
Yes!
Like, pick up these little horses, just bobbing them across the yard.
It'd be great.
Throwing one horse into another horse and having the Matrix bowling it and sound effect it.
Yeah.
Truly, truly, you would be Neo to their Agent Smith.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Also, horses get spooked when they see, like, a snake.
I'm pretty sure if they see, like, a gargantuan person charging at them, they might get a little spooked.
Yeah.
Yeah, just, you raise your arms up, and then you're already bigger than them, and you just charge up, like, and they'll just... I don't even think I would need to raise my arms up like a Muppet.
I'm already massive.
They would take one look at me and they'd be like, no dice.
He's like a thousand million snakes.
Let's go, horse fight.
He is a thousand million snakes.
That is something I didn't think I was going to hear.
So good.
That was Robertette's tagline.
Yes!
Joke just for my grains.
Anyway, thank you for the question.
Let's move on.
So Confidently Befuddled asks, for Sarge, you're on the spot, Sarge.
Oh my god.
As a fellow military dude, what was your favorite nonsense about Q being a military op, excluding the general incompetence of the military and government?
I mean, I'm trying to think of what all the, like, Q being a military op.
It's just, uh, we don't have a lot of people with Q clearance, since that's like a Department of Energy clearance.
That, like, extra doesn't make any sense.
There's some guys that'll have it, but they work with, uh, nuclear weapons.
Uh, just- We talked about this way back in the day, in like the days of yore, when this podcast was about us discussing Q drops.
Yeah.
Uh, it is just baffling.
And then, like, anyone keeping, like, the military keeps secrets, but the fact that, like, this is happening and if the government thought for a second that a real person was giving out real, uh, military secrets on, like, 8kun, they would just go and fucking arrest them.
Like, it's not, Difficult to do.
Every time a big new illegal market sets up on the dark web, they arrest them within a year or two.
They just find someone and flip them.
It happens every time.
My favorite part is that it doesn't make any sense.
If you look at it with any critical thinking, It just falls apart immediately.
And I have to think that's why Ron stopped posting his Q. I'm willing to bet someone was just like, hey, knock this shit off or we're going to arrest you.
Like, you helped start an insurrection that strung the Capitol.
Like, knock it off.
Well, the biggest problem is that clearly you haven't heard the good news about how Q was a Russian psy-op idiot.
Yeah.
Or that, like, real American soldiers stormed a location in Germany and, like, died and fought to get back secret servers that had American voting data.
I think that's my favorite story because it, like, Nothing about it makes sense.
It doesn't even read like a Tom Clancy novel.
It's just like, what?
Why would it?
Well, because it ended like all good novels do, with the thing that those people fought and died for going nowhere and never being revealed and not existing.
Yeah, it's like the end of...
the end of that Indiana Jones movie where they're just like, Oh, we got this thing and they just put it in a warehouse
somewhere. I think we even made that joke. It's baffling.
The one thing I will say that I think also they were kind of
bringing up is the fact that QAnon loves talking about military precision. Like, when you'd have like a two year
delta that they were trying to coordinate through bullshit, they'd be like, the only way this two year delta could
happen is if they were on totally on top of everything and they
got everything right and they aligned, they got all their
hundred tiny ducks lined up in a row and boom.
You know how they did that?
Military precision!
And it's like... Duck size horses.
Yes.
And it's just that kind of thing, where people who are not in the military think the military is incredibly on top of shit, and people in the military know otherwise.
Not so much, actually.
Yeah, there's definitely a bunch of veterans in it.
Because you get kind of broken down and built back up and then, you know, maybe you go out to war and you get your brain mixed around.
Like, I was driving home yesterday and thought to myself a little, I have veteran plates, and some guy talking to himself on the side of the road just started saluting my car and then pulled up his pant leg to show me his scar and I was like, Yeah, okay, you got all your eggs rocked around in the war, like for sure.
And yeah, you get people like that that are betrayed by their country and they don't take care of them and yeah, they're willing to believe that someone on the inside is saying the real stuff and the government is evil because to them it is.
I don't know, fuck you.
Takes advantage of smooth-brained idiots.
So, thank you for the question, confidently befuddled.
Cleodora Silvestri, who is now waiting for Cloyster the Stupid.
I have no idea what that means, but maybe someone else does.
Q says that Prince has replaced Mick Jagger, James Woods replaced Joe Biden, and some ugly asshole in Dallas is supposed to be JFK Jr.
I have no idea how to say that word, and I butchered it viciously.
The face recognition failure syndrome, where you can no longer tell who people are based on looking at them.
I don't know that it's actually going to become that syndrome, because again, this is just a LARP-y thing.
Yes, it's already worse than that, because it's sort of just like They Live Syndrome, where they think that people look perfectly one way unless you have the secret knowledge of the way the real world works, and that gives you the metaphorical sunglasses that let you see things as they truly are.
So it doesn't really matter if they get some sort of face blindness because the faces are already irrelevant.
It's probably more exciting for them to imagine that so-and-so is secretly JFK Jr.
in disguise.
But only they know, tee-hee!
Right!
Oh yeah, that's the whole game is that you know the hidden truth.
You have the sunglasses that nobody else is wearing.
And they are so obsessed with they live.
It's such a ridiculously obvious thing for them to care about because they're Roddy Piper and everybody else is a giant dum-dum who won't put on the glasses.
And they live for that.
The one thing I will say is that Q never said those things.
This is one of those things that has come up that has been created in all the various alternate slices of the QAnon universe, and there are people who are very mad at the JFK Jr.
people and all of that kind of stuff, because these kind of cults just have nothing but constant infighting and complaining and anger with each other about this, that, and the other thing.
The only question is, how far do you want to take the LARP?
How silly do you want to make it?
Are you willing to believe that Vincent Fusca, who I think is now trying to run for office in Pennsylvania?
So, are you willing to believe that Vincent Fusca is JFK Jr.?
Are you willing to do the whole thing where... Get the Fusca out of here.
God!
Oh man, if only he got relevant enough so somebody else could cut that promo on him.
That would be so great.
I'd love it.
Put that on a billboard.
Yes!
Oh man, oh man.
He doesn't have a lot of money.
It's for two months tops.
Oh, if he could buy that billboard for two weeks, he'd be lucky.
Oh my god, Vincent Fuschi.
But yeah, I think this is more, this is just more LARP-y, I have the hidden knowledge, than I'm actually suffering from an actual neurological disorder that could be like breaking my mind.
They're breaking their mind in a different, and to them, a far more entertaining way.
By going through the look at glass, man!
Alice in Wonderland, bro!
Take this, pal, and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Oh, all of it.
So thank you for the question.
Pancake Peasant asks, is it ethical to proposition the clown Hellworld L knows to terrify Ron Watkins into leaving publicly forever?
Bonus points if the clown is dressed as an Evanelian angel.
Evanagelion, you can say it right, I fucked it up.
No, Evanagelion, that's it.
No, I'm totally wrong.
I believe it's Evangelion.
Evangelion, yep, that's it.
So, tape up your glasses and push them up over the bridge of your nose.
I will.
Like the real anime boy.
And I did, and I asked for clarification, that is El the clown?
And Pancake replied, only if you want to be the clown.
No, I think at some point I must have mentioned that I know, in passing, a clown.
An actual, literal clown.
Our relationship is not good enough where I could summon him or beckon him to do anything.
Although, I would say, in terms of... I mean, and also, around adults, he's a bit of a raunchy clown.
Which, I mean, granted, the last time I saw him do any sort of thatch deck was like fucking eight years ago at this point, and the world was a way different place, so who knows what they are up to now.
But I will say that they were quite good on stilts, and therefore they would probably make a pretty rad Evangelion if they got together with some costume designer and made themselves some sort of giant.
Ava suit.
I can see that being pretty cool.
So shout out to shout out to clowns.
You're doing thankless work.
Pop media turned on you really bad like 40 or 50 years ago.
And you've still just been like toughing it out.
And you know, you gotta you gotta show respect to that at some point.
But that's a hard row to hoe.
And so thank you for the question.
And now we have our secret question that I was DM'ed a little while ago.
And that question is, well, Prime L, he is the one who brought it up on the podcast.
If you watch this one episode, oh no, L was talking about Peacemaker on the last episode.
The fact that Sarge's voice sounds identical to Adrian Chase is not lost on me.
Are they the same person?
Adrian Chase?
Wait, who's that?
That's Vigilante on Peacemaker.
Oh, really?
I can't hear it.
I think that Adrian Chase's voice has a higher register, more traditionally effeminate quality to it.
Than Sarge, but maybe I've just been vaccine-style inoculated against Sarge's very vigilante-style voice.
Also, for what it's worth, that character does totally rule, if that is, in fact, the character of Vigilante.
Episode 4 is by far the best.
Episode 4 was the best episode, by far, of Peacemaker, so I highly recommend that episode, specifically because of how good Vigilantean is in it.
Oh yeah.
I hear that, Sarge, you're being compared to Superheroes Dog!
Yeah, like a real good one, too, who was a big goofball.
In the show, he's a cold-blooded murderer who just loves murdering.
I was going to try to add some more qualifiers to that, but it's just sort of like, he just sort of likes murder.
Nope.
Oh, Adrian Chase is the character's name.
The actor's name is Freddie Stroma.
Okay.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to get with it.
Yeah.
He, he, he is like a live action Cromobulus Michael.
So, uh, he just loves killing.
Yeah, I guess I guess I'll take this not so hard hit of I sound like this attractive famous man deal.
Once you get to episode four, and he has a blow up where his voice gets very high at one point and you'll be like, this was not a flattering comment.
I've only seen episode one as of right now, but I, I did, he did the, I do like the show.
I'm going to watch the rest of it.
It got real laughs out of me when he was just like, uh, so my girlfriend's having an abortion and you know, you're invited.
And it's like, I'm not coming to your abortion, dude.
Yeah, he's not the best at socializing, it turns out.
You sound exactly like him, so...
Yeah, take that!
Question mark?
I have been, both voice-wise and appearance-wise, been compared to Peter Griffin from Family Guy, so I've had to bear the burden of that kind of commentary in the past.
I guess I could hear that.
You don't really have... You have the faintest Boston in your accent, but it...
Like, it's, oh, it's very faint.
And but Peter Griffin has that Rhode Island, like, North New England mass accent.
Like, in a weird coincidence, people are constantly telling me that I sound just like JFK Jr.
So Oh, I hear it, because I definitely know what JFK Jr.
sounds like.
Oh yeah, it's looking pitch perfect.
It really is.
It's incredible.
It's like he never tragically died in a plane accident in 1996 or whatever.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it's like he's been doing this podcast the whole time.
It's incredible.
Vigilante was in Pitch Perfect 2, so it's all coming together.
It's all connected.
Oh man, the big web.
Illuminati confirmed.
Oh my god, how good does the rabbit hole go?
Oh, we have more than we know.
We're sick about pills!
Here on the JRXX!
It's the year, JRXX!
Alright.
So, and finally for our question of numerous, what are you looking forward to?
Darkest Dungeon 2 is out, kind of.
It's in Early Access.
I've been playing that, and it's a bunch of fun.
It's a different format than Darkest Dungeon.
It's more of a roguelike this time around, and it's a bunch of fun.
It's dark, there's dungeons.
Uh, nice.
I guess it's my turn.
I don't know.
I'm not really, like, that especially fired up for anything.
Uh, Peacemaker tomorrow is pretty good.
The most recent episode of Boba Fett.
Like, Boba Fett has been getting better the less Boba Fett has been around, which is exciting.
Such a weird thing for a show to do.
What a bold direction.
Yeah.
Remove the main character and improve it.
I can't think of any other show that's done that.
Oh, actually, no, I am a sucker for a new draft environment, so I am excited for the upcoming release of Kamigawa Colon Neon Dynasty, the latest Magic the Gathering set.
With micromice from Mars.
I'm going to do probably like around a dozen drafts of that over the course of its lifespan and feel pretty satisfied.
It's going to be nice.
Yeah, I have a new thing happening at my day job where I am going to be an instructor to tell people who are getting into the business of casinos how to deal poker, which is something I love doing.
I love teaching people stuff.
I love trying to explain things to people.
I want to do a really good job at this because I know there's nothing more terrifying than like starting a job that's like incredibly public facing and you sit down at a table and there's like 10 people like that you it's not the actual reality because like those 10 people are like trying to solve a wordle they're trying to bet a horse race they're doing whatever they're doing
But when you sit down at that table, you think they're all glaring at you to get those cards out right now, you moron!
And you're just like, oh, oh!
You're just like, throwing the cards and just hoping no one like, like yells at you or whatever.
And trying to help people overcome that and get through it and just, uh, like settle into the life of being a dealer is something that's very cool to me.
And I find that very exciting.
So that will be hopefully tons plus the funds in the very near future that I'll have to like show people This is how you shuffle a deck and no, you don't hold the deck sideways and slide the cards this this this or this that the other thing and all that kind of stuff.
So I love talking shop like that and showing people stuff.
Cool!
That does actually sound really cool.
Yeah.
I'm happy for you, buddy.
You're gonna get to sharpen the minds of the youths or the adults that are starting a new career.
Either way, their minds are gonna get fucking Ginzu Knives sharp.
Remember Ginzu Knives?
They cut through aluminum?
Yeah, they cut through cans.
Why even bother taking your own ingredients out of the can?
Just go right through the can.
Exactly.
Welcome to the Ginzu Knives, baby.
And on that note, it is time to, I don't know, hop on a magic carpet ride and fly out of Hellworld for this week.
Let's call it that.
I'm going to show you the world.
And we're all going to have a very romantic evening together flying at like, you know, Mach 12, bobbing around the Earth, just like stopping by Greece for a while and just be like, Hercules is going to be in this one.
It's going to take a few years, but it's coming.
This reference is spun out of control and I love it.
I'm here for the whole disaster.
Yep.
You never hear about carpet rides crashing and burning, so this one's going straight to the moon.
We will in fact fly over the moon and be silhouetted very dramatically like Batman.
It's gonna be great.
Anyway, so that's the method in which we're living our world for this week.
Thank you so much for listening to the show.
If you have made it this far, we just want to say that we appreciate your support.
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Give it to us.
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Shout out this week to Som Candler.
I hope I got that at least sort of correct.
Upgrading from $2 to $5 in our Beautiful or Baby tier.
So, you know, enjoy that bonus content.
Hope that it is tickly for your ear holes.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we totally get that.
We prefer it.
Give it to us, please.
But if you want to do some good with it, you can do so by giving it to love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
That's in their own words.
Sounds pretty good to me.
You know, what do I know?
I'm just a guy who doesn't like children to be exploited.
Come at me.
This time of the show, we'd like to thank DJ Minimal Effort, who remains too cool for social media, for the use of our theme song that still is a bop.
I love it.
When we need the voice of Q, and every week when we need our wonderful bumps and content warning, we turned to our buddy Frosty, who you can find on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
If you can't get enough of me and Sarge goofing about pop culture nonsense, you can find us on our spinoff podcast, Binge Wordy, that's B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y, and you can find us on Twitter at the same name, and you can hear us talk about all sorts of wacky stuff, including episodes of random anime, which is what we did this week after the thing we were supposed to do fell apart, thanks to the local theater going through renovations.
That's none of your business.
You're here for The Adventures of Hellworld, for which I am signing off.
As always, I am your host, Hellworld Al, joined by my wonderful friend, Hellworld Sarge, and our wonderful expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
