This week Mike, Sarge, and L deal with the conspiracy theories around Breyer retiring, more 2020 election madness and Ron Watkins continues to clown himself while Matt Gaetz waits to be indicted. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| All right. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| I am joined, as always, by Sarge. | |
| Hello! | |
| From the internet, not Colorado. | |
| And the mysterious El. | |
| Do svidaniya, me beautiful babies! | |
| Topical! | |
| Oh, incredibly topical, yes. | |
| Them Russian boys are back at it again. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| Those clowns in Russia are up to it again. | |
| Boy, those clowns. | |
| Vladimir Putin driving the General Lee jumping over the Ukraine. | |
| High-fiving Trump. | |
| Just to let you know, the alternate universe that QAnon lives in, there was a meme going around that had three photos of Putin, Kim Jong Un, and Trump all on the phone talking to each other, and then Pepe the Frog is in asking, what's the next step, boss? | |
| Or whatever. | |
| Because those are the good guys in QAnon, is just a wannabe dictator and two actual dictators. | |
| That is their heroes. | |
| As a child of the 80s, I, like, I don't know that I can ever be, like, pilled to think Russia is great. | |
| Like, everything I grew up watching, Russia was the bad guy. | |
| The bad guy du jour. | |
| Like, I think the A-Team fought Russia, like, half of the episodes. | |
| Like, Chuck Norris was constantly fighting Russia. | |
| Yeah, Joe, like, there was like... Yeah, during the Cold War it was Russia, and then following the Cold War it was China, but then China became a very big market for a lot of American interest, so now it's North Korea. | |
| Because North Korea is just as Asian as China, but too poor for us to care about. | |
| Right? | |
| Yeah, remember when North Korea conquered us in the new Red Dawn because they couldn't have China be the bad guy? | |
| Was that the plot of it? | |
| Yeah, well, so the Red Dawn remake sat on the shelf for like eight years or whatever, and during that time they were just like, oh, we can't make the bad guys China because we need Chinese people to want to see our movies still, so we have to go in and just modify all of it to make them Korean. | |
| Wow, I did not know that. | |
| Yeah, and if I could ever think of a nation that could bring America low, it's North Korea. | |
| Like, so, a little behind the scenes here, when I was in the Army, my first job was a Korean cryptological linguist, and so I got briefed on North Korea a bunch. | |
| I didn't get very far in that, because learning Korean is very hard. | |
| So, but I got briefed on North Korea a lot. | |
| Their army is big for their national size, and a full quarter of it is special forces. | |
| So they are dangerous, but the thought of them ever being able to invade America is laughable. | |
| Like, to the point of, like, that might as well be a Star Wars movie. | |
| It's so unrealistic. | |
| Yeah, man, I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page on that one. | |
| Of all the people that we have to worry about for an invasion, North Korea, not one of them. | |
| Yeah, I didn't think anyone was fooled, but that is bizarre. | |
| Like, that's so far. | |
| I can give you a pretty succinct list of countries we need to worry about doing a ground invasion of the United States, and it would just be like 30 seconds of silence. | |
| Because if you're gonna happen to go to the US and A, it is not going to be a ground invasion. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's going to be a rain of nuclear fire, and then no one will want to invade our ground because it will be completely irradiated. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Like, the only way I could see a ground invasion even being feasible is if they somehow cut a deal with Mexico, and Mexico was just fully on board, and then there's just no way to hide that. | |
| We'd be like, hey! | |
| It would be Russia coming up through Mexico. | |
| It would be great if Mexico was just like, you know, we're doing it, we're coming back, we're taking back over Texas, and we're just like, meh, alright. | |
| And nothing of value was lost. | |
| Just stop at the Texas border would be cool. | |
| And nothing of value was lost. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| Yeah, it's the Zimmerman telegram from World War I where Germany was like, hey, Mexico, you want to, like, reconquer some of America? | |
| Join us in the war! | |
| And that, more than the Lusitania, was why we actually entered World War I, was because The British were like, hey, America, guess what the Germans want to do to you? | |
| And America was like, oh, those Krauts! | |
| Okay, we'll finally get involved in this war that you've been fighting for forever. | |
| So yeah, but anyways, we've been spitballing and riffing, but we got to talk about QAnon and all that wackiness, which means we got to play the content warning. | |
| Content warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Dateline January 26, 20 and 22! | |
| From the straight digital frontline to your beautiful ears back home on the good old US and A, it's time for some breaking news! | |
| So dramatic, I love it. | |
| Oh man, give it to us Mike, what's the breaking news? | |
| The breaking news is that Justice Breyer on your Supreme Court of the United States has announced that he is retiring and this will allow Biden and the democratically controlled Senate to offer up his replacement on the court. | |
| Breyer was roughly 300 years old So pretty much the moment that Ossoff and Warnock won in Georgia, people were trying to gently shove him out the door to allow Biden to get somebody new in there. | |
| And thankfully, he has taken the advice of all the various and sundry political activists of the Democratic Party and liberals and has elected to call it a day so that we will be able to get somebody Into the Supreme Court who was not an eyewitness to the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. | |
| I don't know, it's really close to the election. | |
| Shouldn't we wait and let the new president pick? | |
| Biden only has a scant three years left in office, so I think maybe the American people need to weigh in on this one. | |
| A lot of stuff has gone down in my history of being alive and like a citizen of the nation of the US and A. I still to this day don't think any single political move has infuriated and continues to infuriate me more to this day than that. | |
| Like, depriving Obama his Supreme Court pick, and just getting away with it? | |
| And, like, everybody just being like, okay, that's a thing you can do, you can just say no, we're not gonna do it. | |
| And then doing the exact opposite with Trump? | |
| Like, jamming a Supreme Court through? | |
| Yeah, I mean, the hypocrisy was not a surprise. | |
| The other thing was a surprise in so much as I, like, That was sort of like the last shred of my belief in the way our government works. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Was when it was just like, well, Obama's only got one full calendar year left in office or whatever, so we're not going to allow him to, because the people should be able to decide. | |
| It's like we did decide when we voted him in for his second term. | |
| Yeah, we talked about this. | |
| It's just like, can we get some cops or something to arrest these people for treason or sedition? | |
| The Constitution, I'm pretty sure, says the president gets to pick these people. | |
| What's the deal? | |
| And it's just like, no, you can just say, we're not going to do it. | |
| We'll just wait for our guy to get in. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, I remember. | |
| Like, two days before the election, when everyone thought that Hillary was going to win that thing, Ted Cruz was out there saying, we will block her Supreme Court appointments for her entire term. | |
| We will not let her appoint a justice should she prevail in this election, which we all think she's absolutely going to. | |
| We're just gonna let the Supreme Court sit at 8, and if any more liberals drop dead, then we'll go down to 7. | |
| We don't care. | |
| We are psychotic and power-mad, and we will just run things any way we can in order to maximize the amount of power that we currently have. | |
| And until the American people finally decide to stop us, fuck them. | |
| I mean, that's just it. | |
| That's just their mentality. | |
| Yeah, I mean, if anything, if it like, you know, it infuriated me and it did sort of, I was just like, oh, this is probably why Republican conservatives see Democrats and liberals as like, cuckable losers. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Because literally when they cuck us, we just sit there and just go, stop, please stop cucking us. | |
| And they're just like, no, we're not going to do that. | |
| We're just like, but we don't like it. | |
| And they're just like, we don't care. | |
| Do something about it. | |
| We're just like, no. | |
| All right, cool. | |
| Sick. | |
| Awesome country we're running here. | |
| So good. | |
| Oh, I mean, the other thing that was so awesome was during that whole time where people like me were running around with our hair on fire saying Hillary's got to win in order for us to get control of the Supreme Court, you had all these quote-unquote leftist liberals being like, Don't try to blackmail me with the Supreme Court. | |
| I ain't worried about nothing. | |
| All those justices, they get old all the time. | |
| There'll always be new seats available all the time. | |
| You could use that argument every election. | |
| Guess what? | |
| I can and will. | |
| Because it's fucking important. | |
| Control of the Supreme Court really fucking matters. | |
| And you got one side who has elected senators literally saying, yeah, if we still control the Senate and Hilldog is the president, she doesn't get justices. | |
| She can pound sand. | |
| And then the other side is just like, yeah, I'm going to vote for Jill Steen to send a message, and if Trump gets ahold of the Supreme Court and turns it into a nightmare of conservative lunatics who will end abortion, go after gay marriage, birth control, and all the other lunatic, Christian, fascist bullshit they believe in, meh, no skin off my nose, because they'll get old and die, and then St. | |
| Bernie will eventually come down from heaven and get our government. | |
| St. | |
| Bernie. | |
| No skin off my nose, because as a progressive liberal, I am 90% like, I'm like 95% almost certainly white, and probably like 65% almost certainly male. | |
| So, birth control? | |
| Doesn't matter to me! | |
| Abortions? | |
| Who gives a shit? | |
| I don't make babies! | |
| It's like, okay, cool. | |
| Good work. | |
| Yeah, Bernie 2024, let's go! | |
| Yeah, it's so fucking stupid. | |
| Let's go Bernie! | |
| I'd like to say for the record that I agree with progressive politics. | |
| I just think that we have to give it some time because right now our actual, literal way of life is under attack. | |
| Yeah, so while the politics of this Supreme Court vacancy are one thing, the madness of who is going to actually be the replacement for Breyer is now currently just burning up the inner tubes and QAnon and all the rest of them. | |
| The first idea that people have, and I'm sure this will be basically the universal belief of QAnon by 9 o'clock this evening, is that Kamala Harris will be appointed as the next Supreme Court Justice. | |
| Allowing the Vice Presidency to be opened up so that Hilda can get in there and be the Vice President! | |
| And then she'll just push Sleepy Joe to the side in a few months and BAM! | |
| President Clinton! | |
| It's finally happening! | |
| And I have seen various and sundry people on the internet who are ever so adroit political analysts being like, you know, Kamala's upside as a presidential candidate isn't that great. | |
| Maybe we send her to the SCOTUS and we get someone with a little more upside as Biden's Veep so that they can actually beat Trump in 2024 or 2028, whenever that little event happens. | |
| And I want to make it clear to everybody that's incredibly stupid and will never happen. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Not the least of all because of the fact that if Harris were to become a justice in the Supreme Court, the vice presidency would be vacant, and at that point the Democrats would effectively lose control of the Senate because the Republicans could block everything on a 50-50 vote. | |
| The dumb little proviso in the Constitution that the vice president is the tie-breaking vote in the Senate actually really matters a lot right now. | |
| Okay, so let's go with this for just a second. | |
| If Kamala Harris, our current vice president, was put up for the Supreme Court, she would never get approved. | |
| But let's say they do, and she does. | |
| The vice presidency is vacant. | |
| There has to be a proviso in there for Biden just to pick a new vice president, right? | |
| Yes, but that new vice president has to be approved by a majority in both the House and the Senate. | |
| Oh, so they just get to stall and then get, oh yeah, okay. | |
| So it really would be the dumbest thing in the world. | |
| And the best part about that is that now you get into the 90s psychotic lunacy world of the Republicans winning the House in November and then appointing Trump the Speaker of the House, which you're allowed to do. | |
| The Speaker of the House does not have to be an actual elected official of the House. | |
| Anyone can be the Speaker. | |
| You could be Spider-Man. | |
| Anyone could be Spider-Man. | |
| So technically you could have an empty vice presidency and Trump next in line for succession to the presidency with Biden as the president. | |
| And let's just say I bet the Secret Service wouldn't be sleeping too well at that point given the nature of Trump's fandom and what they think they could conceivably do to help save America from the crisis of the deep state. | |
| So yeah, all of that is incredibly shitty and scary. | |
| I love the idea that to these wacky conservative folks, us ignorant liberal folks are just champing at the bit for a Clinton presidency. | |
| Ooh, we all love Hillary so much, we can't stop talking about how much we love Hillary! | |
| Dog, nobody loves Hillary Clinton. | |
| Like, you could have put a wet paper bag filled with even wetter dog shit and just scrawled on it, universal healthcare, and put it up against Donald Trump and I would have voted for it. | |
| Wet bag all day. | |
| It's not that we love our candidates, it's that your conservative candidates are just so bad! | |
| They're so bad! | |
| Yeah, it's literally my options are fascist or not fascist, so I'm going to vote the not fascist every time! | |
| I don't care. | |
| I mean, Obama did have a cult of personality around him, and he was young and dynamic and charismatic and came out of nowhere and all that kind of stuff, but I don't need a cult of personality around my president. | |
| I really don't. | |
| I just want them to kind of mind the shop and take care of business for me. | |
| And if they can get some shit through our ungovernable House and Senate, God bless them. | |
| Well, let's not go crazy. | |
| Having a cool, well-spoken president is a net positive for a lot of stuff. | |
| It makes me feel a lot better when we get to international politics phase. | |
| When it's just like, hey, this is the guy that has to go talk to other top-tier leaders around the world, and your choices are Barack Obama, like, incredibly good at speaking, incredibly charismatic, seems like a chill dude. | |
| Or Donald Trump, a mashed potato golem that was granted sentience by some twist of magic fate. | |
| Like, I'm gonna go ahead and I want Obama all day in those circumstances. | |
| And it brought us to the brink of war a million times. | |
| Like, oh my god. | |
| And yet, he was the peace president, if you talk to QAnon. | |
| He was the most peaceful, benevolent guy in the world after he drone-striked that Iranian general. | |
| I mean... Oh, I remember how peaceful it felt when he was saber-rattling with North Korea. | |
| What?! ! | |
| And there were actual concerns from top-tier military officials. | |
| It was just like, we should probably take the nuclear football away from Trump or whatever. | |
| He's being bothersome. | |
| Yeah, President of Peace. | |
| Closest we've been to nuclear war in 100,000 years or whatever. | |
| So peaceful. | |
| I love the imminent threat of nuclear war. | |
| Let's go back to the 50s or whatever, guys. | |
| That is what conservatives want. | |
| They just want to make America the 50s again, including the imminent threat of nuclear war at any moment. | |
| Hey, I want kids to wear masks and do duck and cover drills. | |
| I want all of these things. | |
| I want your childhood to be filled with viruses and the threat of nuclear annihilation. | |
| I think that's what we all want, really. | |
| Yeah, and the other sign that I've seen from QAnon already is that, don't you worry your pretty little heads about Biden getting this justice in because Trump's eventually just going to reveal the de-evolution thing and be like, nope, nope, Biden doesn't get this justice appointed. | |
| I'm still the president. | |
| I'm coming back in, and you thought that 6-3 conservative majority was bad? | |
| Boom! | |
| 7-2, suckers! | |
| Gotcha! | |
| I was just hiding in the shadows, waiting for Breyer to step down, and then I sprung forth like a lion, and now I'm gonna just pack the court even more, because I was always president the whole time! | |
| Yeah, I bet Mike Lindell's having a good old time with this and his 9-0. | |
| Oh, we're getting so close, so perilously close to absolute 9-0. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, I mean, that's why we needed this Methuselah to shamble peacefully into the sunset. | |
| Not dying, just retiring. | |
| I mean, dying would have worked too, but retiring is better for him and his family. | |
| Because, you know, the liberals have to maintain their stranglehold minority on the Supreme Court. | |
| Hey, I would rather have our minority include someone who is, again, somewhere around the age of 50 and not around the age of way past the average life expectancy of a male in America. | |
| Let's do a Doogie Howser. | |
| Let's elect some, like, scrappy 18-year-old progressive liberal to the Supreme Court. | |
| Lifetime appointment, right? | |
| Let's get somebody who's got 60 years in the tank in him. | |
| Let's go! | |
| Yes! | |
| Somebody who's like 50 years from now could just be like, I remember when 9-11 happened. | |
| And this is why that is like 9-11. | |
| This is nowhere on our list. | |
| I recently learned that there's a Street Fighter character named Q, and he looks like a crazy conspiracy dork. | |
| Has QAnon ever done anything with the Street Fighter character Q? | |
| No, I've never heard of them. | |
| It's just not in their level of existence. | |
| I've never been closer to quitting the podcast than I am right now. | |
| Neither of you knew about The Street Fighter 3 character Q? | |
| I referenced that character on this podcast. | |
| There was a whole episode where my running goof was just naming other cues. | |
| Yeah, this podcast is over. | |
| Thanks everybody. | |
| Anyway, well that's our breaking news segment. | |
| Methuselah's dead, and by dead I mean retiring. | |
| Do we want to go into our actual headlines for the week? | |
| Sounds like a plan to me. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News. | |
| So, let's get into the remarks on national healing, which was all about healing America's partisan rifts and divide. | |
| Yeah, I mean, of course, so before we get into the nitty-gritty of this, of course, I know what the fuck you're talking about. | |
| Obviously. | |
| I've got my finger on the pulse, but explain it as if though you would a child, to quote Galaxy Quest. | |
| For the listeners out there who might not know what the hell you're talking about. | |
| So I ask you, who the hell is Leonardo Leonardo? | |
| So, the remarks on national healing were a memo that was being drafted in the Trump White House after they had lost the election to try to find ways to overturn the election results and to, you know, keep Trump in power even though he lost. | |
| And one of the main parts of the remarks on national healing was that there was to be an executive order allowing the military to seize voting machines so that they could begin analyzing those machines to see if they could figure out how those machines had stolen Trump's rightful votes and given them to that evil usurper Biden. | |
| By the way, this fantasy never actually came to fruition. | |
| Trump never actually signed the executive order, but it was drafted. | |
| And another part of this executive order instituted that there would be a special counsel that would be Brought in to investigate what was going on vis-a-vis the voter fraud and other bad stuff that happened during our election. | |
| And given all the crank bullshit in this memo, it is very obvious that the special counsel was supposed to be Sidney Powell, the lawyer lady of Kraken fame. | |
| Everybody loves a Kraken. | |
| Yes, so this was, like, for anyone who's thinking that this shit was, like, not at the highest levels of the government and that Trump wasn't involved in the coup to try to maintain power after having lost an election, it's all bullshit. | |
| He absolutely was up to his neck in this shit. | |
| He, Michael Flynn was part of this as well. | |
| Our boy Mike Lindell. | |
| All of these people were, in one way or another, interwoven into this plot. | |
| to try to find something, anything, in order to cast a spurge on the legitimacy of the election | |
| so that Trump would not have to leave office. This memo also further stated that the military | |
| might have to run a do-over election. A do-over election, huh? Yeah, like, well, | |
| obviously that election was fraudulent, so we're going to give everyone a couple weeks. | |
| We're gonna have the military just invade America as one does in a constitutional republic where the military isn't in charge of everything. | |
| And then, under the watchful eye of the military, you will trot into ye olde voting booth and cast your vote again, and hopefully this time you get it right! | |
| I remember when I was in basic training and they went over all the powers we as the army had to run elections. | |
| That was a big day. | |
| We went over that a lot. | |
| I love the idea that any one of our listeners would just be like, you know, I don't think Trump was involved in any of that seditious shit at all. | |
| I think he was just an innocent, harmless bystander while his base just got too antsy in the pantsy. | |
| That would be great. | |
| I mean, unless you're one of the handful of people that might hate-listen to the podcast so that you could really own the libs by supporting their independent content production endeavors. | |
| In which case, we salute you, hate-listener. | |
| And also, Trump knew what was up. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I think it was just an innocent bystander, you know, when he literally said, hey, go fight for me or whatever. | |
| And then they did it. | |
| And then suddenly he was just like, well, I was being like flowery and metaphorical. | |
| I didn't mean actually march on the Capitol. | |
| It's do stuff. | |
| And it's just like, yeah, sure thing, bud. | |
| It's like, I just wanted to hold my Bible upside down for photo ops and stuff. | |
| No big deal. | |
| MBD? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Can you imagine if anybody else had held their Bible upside down? | |
| I mean, I think we talked about it in the pod before, but boy... We have! | |
| We've talked about this more than once. | |
| The most Illuminati-confirmed ever, but I just love, like, the powers of hypocrisy in the conservative person just, like, completely... | |
| Beyond reproach. | |
| There's just absolutely no bottomless, limitless, Shonen-style power levels of hypocrisy. | |
| Oh, there's so many. | |
| Any Democratic politician would have been... | |
| Literally crucified for holding the Bible upside down. | |
| Oh, it would have been last week. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, there were people who found that because Biden has like one of those like incredibly ancient giant Bibles that has like clasps on it. | |
| And someone like found a photo. | |
| Well, yeah, I mean, he's Joe Biden, so he's probably got a first edition Bible. | |
| Yes. | |
| First edition Bible. | |
| Yeah, that got me. | |
| That really got me. | |
| It was a slider. | |
| I had to think about it for longer than I should have. | |
| First edition Bible? | |
| Yeah, he has an Alpha Bible. | |
| It has the more rounded edges. | |
| It's not like a Beta Bible. | |
| He's got first edition, hollow foil, shadowless Bible. | |
| Yes! | |
| It's got the printing errors. | |
| You can see little corners where it didn't quite print all the way to the edge. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| They have the photos of him being torn as Vice President, and the Bible was actually upside down when he took the oath, because the latches have crosses on them, and the crosses are upside down, proving that he was on Pollock's side the whole time. | |
| Straight to hell. | |
| But does this accomplish anything? | |
| I've seen a bunch of op-eds where they're just like, we have all the proof in the world that Trump was seditious as shit, but people have to care. | |
| And does America care? | |
| I think it really just comes down to, most of all, what does the 1-6 committee bring up in the end of their investigation? | |
| What do they send to the DOJ that's actionable? | |
| And how much pressure then gets put on Garland and everybody else to act on this shit. | |
| I mean, I think that's what really is going to be kind of interesting because, again, we've talked about this before, but arresting Trump is just basically encouraging low levels of domestic terrorism because people will lose their fucking minds. | |
| Yeah, I don't know that it actually accomplishes anything. | |
| I want to see him charged so he absolutely cannot run again. | |
| But yeah, arresting him, I don't think it accomplishes anything. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So while all of this, while that was going on, last night we also had a hilarious little bit happening where one MAGA, probably borderline QAnon, crazy person in the Wisconsin Assembly Use a special proclamation or just basically anything that was not actually a bill to announce that Wisconsin was withdrawing their 10 electoral votes from the 2020 election. | |
| The election is over. | |
| It is on the books. | |
| You guys can't run it back. | |
| Not even the NFL has that power. | |
| There's no takesy-backsies now that it's done. | |
| You have to look forward. | |
| We did a couple of years ago. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Yeah, Biden's been in office over a year and you still have clowns in state legislatures in America saying, we're taking back our electoral votes! | |
| Biden doesn't get them! | |
| Fuck that guy! | |
| And it's like, No. | |
| The whole reason why you assholes attacked the Capitol on January 6th was because that was the certification of the election. | |
| Once that happened, the horse was out of the barn. | |
| You can't close the door and keep the horse in anymore. | |
| He left! | |
| You lose! | |
| Good day, sir! | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's some really Willy Wonka shit. | |
| This is it. | |
| It's over. | |
| Good day, sir. | |
| But these idiots are still doing these things. | |
| And what is funny is, so this clown made this proclamation in Wisconsin, and the Gateway Pundit ran with it, because of course he would. | |
| And then that got QAnon all antsies in the pantsies about the fact that finally a state was decertifying the electoral election results, and we were finally getting on the path to getting Trump reinstalled as president. | |
| Another member of the actual committee that is in charge of this in Wisconsin was like, no. | |
| All that guy did, his dumb little outrage stunt, all that did was send a bill to my committee where we will not vote on it. | |
| If we do vote on it, we will vote it down. | |
| So, no. | |
| This is actually going to go nowhere, and it is not going to happen, and that's it. | |
| So you can all just drop dead. | |
| Jim Steineke, I believe is the name of the guy who's in the Wisconsin Senate, and he has a tweet that says, Disinformation spreads quickly. | |
| Here's what happened in the Assembly tonight. | |
| Ramthun, the MAGA lunatic, introduced a resolution with zero support, no co-sponsors. | |
| Because it was a privileged resolution, it had to be referred to committee. | |
| It was referred to rules. | |
| There was no vote on it. | |
| So, no. | |
| This is not happening. | |
| But, it got the right people excited, so, yay! | |
| Wonder Bar. | |
| Well, I'm glad we spent all of, like, two minutes talking about the remarks on National Healing, and then did one of our typical Adventures in Hellworld rabbit holes to talk about a completely different thing. | |
| Or a few completely different things. | |
| So let's keep the different topic train a-rollin' and discuss Ron Watkins versus some sort of local school board, is what I have here in my headlines. | |
| Again, I know exactly what's going on, so why don't you just explain for our audience what the hell that means? | |
| So, what is going on is... | |
| Ron Watkins went to another one of these school board meetings where it is now in vogue for idiots and cretins to harass the local public officials about their running of the school board in a way that is insufficiently MAGA. | |
| And Ron got in front of these people and talked about how they were pushing the trans agenda and all of this just weird, crazy, bigoted bullshit. | |
| And if you listen, if you find the video, you'll find out that Ron has not gotten any better at public speaking. | |
| He is still just absolutely deadpan, incapable of emotion or expression. | |
| He's just reading his notes and just trying to seem as agitated as possible. | |
| Still blinded by bright light conditions because he still looks and carries himself as though he just crawled out of his mother's basement. | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| This is the case. | |
| Is his speaking style as muted and subdued as Sarge's right now? | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| I had a cat jump in my lap, so I muted it real quick because I didn't want him banging around the microphone. | |
| And then I was like, all right, got this. | |
| And yep. | |
| OK. | |
| Did you like how I worked that one in there seamlessly? | |
| You did. | |
| Listeners, we call each other out a lot and Elle has been calling me out for like... | |
| Over 15 years now. | |
| We're so professional, although I do have to let the listeners know that we did try to alert you via text before I just called you out on air. | |
| Was I muted very long? | |
| Yes, for like 100 years. | |
| It was crazy. | |
| First edition Bible, etc. | |
| The amount of times we saw you just shaking with laughter and no noise was coming out was horrifying. | |
| It was like watching the most impressive mime ever. | |
| It's like, wow, those look like actual laughs and no noise is coming out of his mouth. | |
| Don't worry, none of my jokes were very good. | |
| Maybe you should take up miming. | |
| That'd be great. | |
| I'll just say that I know an actual mime because I already know an actual clown. | |
| That's... | |
| Anyway, back on topic and speaking of clowns, so what did Ron Watkins end up doing at this school board meeting? | |
| So, the big thing that Ron Watkins did besides make himself into a bigger, as big a dumb-dumb as he possibly could, was that he allied himself with a group of people who are believing in this new lunatic version of what is basically sovereign citizenry, where All public officials have something called a surety bond that they have to post when they take office. | |
| And it's basically just a sort of very formulaic thing where the state just wants to make sure that you're going to do a bang up job and respect the integrity of your office and blah, blah, blah. | |
| And it's really nothing. | |
| It's just procedural. | |
| But now there's this group of people who believe in these surety bonds as a means by which to remove people from office when they don't do what we, the people, the red-blooded American patriots of America, want them to do. | |
| Mickey from bondsforthewind.com served the school board with an intent to file a claim against their surety bonds for enforcing unconstitutional policies that harm our children, such as CTR and transsexual brainwashing propaganda. | |
| Which I would love to see the curriculum that involves transsexual brainwashing propaganda. | |
| That sounds like it would be way more exciting than these idiots think. | |
| It's probably just acknowledging that slavery was racist. | |
| Slavery was bad. | |
| No! | |
| My children are triggered and so am I! | |
| How dare you talk about how the benevolent white race of America did a bad thing for over a hundred years before having to be fought a war, having to be literally murdered to death to give up their slaves. | |
| It went well. | |
| Yes, it went great. | |
| So these surety bonds, again, if you actually go to their website and read what Bonds for the Win is about, it's just a harassment campaign against these people. | |
| Where they explain that like literally all the stuff that we are doing has almost no chance of it leading to any sort of result. | |
| Because all that could ever happen is you would file a claim and harass this person to the point where whatever institution filed the bond would be like, okay, now we got to do a performance review. | |
| We did the performance review. | |
| Nothing's going to come of it. | |
| We don't care. | |
| So. | |
| This is just the latest in a long line of magical thinking kind of bullshit, where if you fill out the right paperwork, you're exempt from having to file taxes! | |
| And as long as you explain to the cop that you're using your car to travel and not to drive, you don't need a license! | |
| Yeah, I remember it was just a couple years ago. | |
| I think we talked about it a year or so ago. | |
| I think we talked about it on the show when a bunch of dum-dums from Maine came through Boston. | |
| They got pulled over and they're like, no, no, no. | |
| We don't need any of your paperwork. | |
| We're good, don't worry about us. | |
| And they're like, no, we are going to. | |
| We're absolutely going to worry about you. | |
| This is a thing we worry about. | |
| They all scampered off into the woods. | |
| Yeah, they all fled into the woods of Wakefield, Massachusetts. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Yeah, just absolutely the weirdest, bizarrest, most dumbest of people. | |
| So this is the latest example of these poor school boards having literally anyone show up to harass them. | |
| I mean, Ron Watkins is literally trying to set up roots in Arizona so that he can make his carpetbagger run for Congress more palatable, but I'm pretty positive he doesn't have children in school I still don't understand how it's legal for him to even think about running there. | |
| I think the rule in that state is just that you have to have an address in the state by the time the election happens. | |
| So Arizona is incredibly carpetbagger friendly. | |
| So yeah, but I mean really these school boards need to have some sort of like proof of residency, proof that you have children in the district or anything like this. | |
| These things should not exist so that like some random idiot running for office can get like free television time reading his stump speech and then attacking the school board. | |
| For being a bunch of evil liberals who are embracing critical race theory or whatever hobby horse it is Republicans are on that day. | |
| Yeah, but they should only change this after you abuse its power to get your blue checkmark on Twitter. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Obviously, obviously. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| I mean, that's... I love... I wonder if we could ask Twitter for that level of verification. | |
| If I go to ten school board meetings and harass enough school boards around America, do I get a blue check? | |
| Because, I mean, that probably is more work than filing to run for Congress in some district you're never going to win in and getting, like, 4% of the vote in the primary and you get a blue checkmark. | |
| Because that's, like, so many of these scammers just do that. | |
| They're just professional candidates that make themselves, like, look legitimate by being verified on social media when all that verification was is, uh, yeah! | |
| I scammed a couple people out of like $20,000 so I could not run a campaign in a district that was never going to win in. | |
| Boom. | |
| Twitter verified, baby. | |
| You can get verified pretty easily on Gab. | |
| I'm pretty sure all you need to do is send them like $15 through Venmo and a photo of you wearing a white hood. | |
| They're just like, we're not going to ask for your license or ID, just send us a photo of you in your best clan outfit and send us $15 and then boom, verified. | |
| Boom. | |
| That's what it's all about, baby. | |
| No problem. | |
| I mean, we just need to know that you're on the right team because we won't accept money from people that don't have the right ideological bent for our totally open free speech platform that wants all opinions to speak freely, especially not those opinions that involve boobies. | |
| Those are the bad opinions. | |
| Yeah, they just watch straight, white, alpha men who aren't interested in looking at breasts on the internet, apparently. | |
| They're just like, oh man, I'm such an alpha Chad, but I'm gonna be real with you guys. | |
| Because of my love of Christ, I only want to see breasts in person on the woman that I'm married to. | |
| Yeah, right? | |
| That's fucking nobody. | |
| If you ever met anyone like that, you would be like, wow, Ned Flanders here is like just two seconds away from going and shooting up a synagogue. | |
| Like, no thank you. | |
| I do not want to associate with this person. | |
| No. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I just love, I just love that. | |
| I just, there's nothing that makes me more, like, roll my eyes harder than someone being like, we are the biggest free speech platform in the world. | |
| The only thing you can't do is an actual threat of violence against somebody else. | |
| That's the only thing we'll take down. | |
| But by the way, pornography leads to the devil. | |
| You got there before I could. | |
| I was like, wait, aren't they anti-porn too? | |
| Yeah, that's the thing. | |
| They literally created software to find pornography and remove it. | |
| So they actually have auto-filters for that. | |
| If you want to, like, I don't know, deny the Holocaust or any of that stuff, that is incredibly protected free speech, good sir. | |
| And you know I do. | |
| I mean, there's nothing more important in this world than just explaining to everybody who is on Gab and already knows this to be the case that Jews are evil and they rule the world and you need to shout that to everyone who's going to agree with you because you're an echo chamber, an echo chamber of Nazis. | |
| Yeah, and also, that just sounds so boring to me. | |
| Frequently, my most pleasant Twitter experiences, when I'm just scrolling through Twitter, is that I see either, like, a cute animal photo, or, like, a nice pair of boobs, or a butt, or, fuck it, at the rare occasions, like, a nice celebrity dong or something. | |
| That's what Twitter makes, that's, it's just the spice that really makes Twitter worth using. | |
| Like, I mean, remember when Captain America accidentally put his penis on the internet? | |
| That was so good. | |
| Oh, I forgot about that. | |
| You know, I get to remember that. | |
| It's America's cock. | |
| She's like, you know what? | |
| Good for you, mate. | |
| Good for you. | |
| It's a tremendous opportunity for you. | |
| That's like one of the wildest things on Twitter is like when a generic name is trending and like the first four things are actually about the person that is like having the thing happen to them and then like the next two are just weird nudity things because it's just like some porn star or I'm not gonna lie, I'm certainly not immune to that particular impulse. | |
| here's a here's a random naked person you weren't expecting and it's like oh | |
| nick rains and the weird nudity thing a book on tape oh yeah i'm not gonna i'm not gonna lie i'm | |
| certainly not immune to that particular impulse there have been several times where i've like | |
| experienced a new actor uh for the first time and i'll uh fire up the old bin the old bing search | |
| engine uh for totally no reason Why would you use Bing, you might ask yourself. | |
| Well, if you know, you know. | |
| I'm like, let me go over to Bing and see what's up with this actor real quick. | |
| I bet Bill Gates is so proud that that's what Bing is known for. | |
| Just like, bam, nailed it. | |
| We got our market share, baby. | |
| We're there. | |
| I mean, Google dropped that football. | |
| Billy G was there to scoop it up. | |
| Like so much Activision Blizzard. | |
| Look at me, topical headline news references. | |
| You're crushing it. | |
| I'm astonishing. | |
| Seamlessly segueing into some topical headline news from the tech world, following my shameful confession that I go to Bing to look up nude celebs. | |
| How am I not already famous as a podcaster? | |
| I ask you. | |
| It is a real mystery. | |
| I mean, they're trying to cancel Joe Rogan, but... Bro, I need to slide in there. | |
| The mysterious L experience. | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh man, anyway, speaking of going online to look up nude photos of people, Matt Gaetz is back in the news, because yet another Gaetz acolyte is rolling over on him and showing his belly to the feds very hard. | |
| Like, here's my belly, please pet it. | |
| Yes! | |
| So what's on the agenda for dunking on Matt Gaetz this week, Mike Rades? | |
| We're dunking on Matt Gaetz this week because, as the headline reads, Florida shock jock pleads guilty in the ongoing Gaetz inquisition. | |
| So... Do you suppose his name was something, like, Florida-specific? | |
| Like, The Gator? | |
| Oh, God, if... Not The Bean, or The Sponge, or whatever? | |
| God, somebody tell me. | |
| It's not for Crazy Steve and The Gator! | |
| Oh man, I am going to petition Florida to let me be a shock jock on a morning zoo crew, and my name has to be the gator. | |
| Here we go, Stephen the Gator. | |
| It's your morning drive time from six to ten. | |
| Let's find out what disgusting monster just walked out of the swamp, wreathed in snakes, and why we're going to elect him. | |
| Drive time with Stephen the Gator. | |
| Big shout out to Tokid Female in the editing bay. | |
| You're the best, babe. | |
| We're gonna ask you vaguely inappropriate questions for the next couple hours, but we're gonna keep them just on the line so we don't get sued. | |
| Yeah, joking female, you've got tits, right? | |
| Sure do, Crazy Steve! | |
| She's another joke that makes it okay. | |
| She's a joke because otherwise she doesn't get her like $40,000 a year or whatever. | |
| You need to go back in that bit. | |
| And after you say teats, you need a sound effect that goes. | |
| I mean, we've often said that we need a soundboard, especially for when we do these Zoo Crew riffs and we just never have one. | |
| I'm telling you, bonus content one of these days is going to be the Hellworld Zoo Crew. | |
| Someday we'll be rich enough. | |
| Once we become podcast millionaires and we're on the hook to actually produce higher quality content, we will do an actually produced fake from Hellworld Zoo Crew morning show for people to listen to on their ride into work once a week. | |
| We will hire and employ A token female producer, but not token. | |
| She will definitely know more about audio, everything, than any of us. | |
| Oh yeah, well I'm sure that's the case in most of these productions. | |
| I'm sure whatever woman is working like fucking hard as shit in any of these editing bays or whatever during these like productions. | |
| Like, they probably know way more than the dumb fucks. | |
| Like, I don't know shit. | |
| I don't know shit about shit. | |
| You both probably know more about audio production than I do. | |
| You do all the editing on our side podcast, and I just post them. | |
| I don't- I- I know nothing, much like Jon Snow. | |
| Maybe what we've secretly found out here is that we need to give Mike Rains more credit for being our QAnon expert and our audio expert. | |
| Give a round of applause to Mike Rains. | |
| Cue up that loud clapping on the soundboard. | |
| And then also cue up the springy, boner-sounding noise. | |
| Because we have to get back to talking about Matt Gaetz. | |
| Yeah, so Big Joe Ellicott, I believe that's how you say that name, he is set to plead guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud and distribution of a controlled substance because apparently He was a major Adderall seller in the weird... I don't know where I expected this to go, but it was not there. | |
| Yeah, but also on top of all of this, Big Joe, he was friends of Joel Greenberg, the guy who has literally been cooperating so hard the Florida courts have yet to see fit to send him to jail because his cooperation is so egregious and powerful that they need to keep him free until he finishes all the cooperating he's doing. | |
| Big Joe and Greenberg apparently Had some textual communications where it became very obvious that the two of them figured out that, oh shit, that girl that we obviously brought across state lines for things that Matt Gaetz would send on Venmo with the note, not sex, eggplant emoji, hotel emoji. | |
| That's our bit, but I just, I think it's true every time I hear it. | |
| This is not for sex. | |
| Slash all the emojis that indicated absolutely is for sex. | |
| Text message from Big Joe, like, hey, did you think it was weird that that girl said she needed to get back for her intro to chemistry exam? | |
| Is that a college thing? | |
| Something Greenberg responding back, gee, I hope so. | |
| Shrugging emoji. | |
| Yeah, so basically it seems like the two of them very much realized that they had done a crime. | |
| They did a crime. | |
| They did a big boy crime at that. | |
| So now that he has pled guilty and he is apparently getting a pretty sweeping immunity deal here, So, it's very possible that in the next year or so, Big Joe will be on the stand and having one of Matt Gaetz's lawyers asking him, Do you know what a rat is? | |
| And then him having to be like, I don't know what you're talking about. | |
| And that kind of fun mobster bullshit. | |
| I hope they're not cross-examination or whatever, they're just bringing up all the almost certainly incredibly dumb misogynistic shit he said on his Zoo Crew morning show. | |
| Mr. Smith, or whatever the guy's actual last name is, you work as a radio host, is that correct? | |
| Yes, that is correct. | |
| And on the show, you're called Big Joe, is that correct? | |
| Yes. | |
| And do you do wet t-shirt jello wrestling competitions? | |
| Oh, no. | |
| Yes, I do. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| Yeah. | |
| God damn it. | |
| When this shit starts coming home to roost, it's gonna be fantastic. | |
| It's just gonna be hilarious. | |
| Well, there's actually not a ton of meat on this bone. | |
| We just needed to bring it up this week because, God, we just fucking hate Matt Gaetz because it turns out that he sex traffics underage women across state lines, and that blows, so fuck him. | |
| And he just needs to hurry up and go to jail. | |
| They keep putting nails in the coffin, and it's just like, How dead does this guy gotta be before you finally, like, close the lid on him and just arrest him? | |
| Like, so many people have flipped on him. | |
| Yeah, yeah, it really... Uh, yeah, uh... Oh, yeah, I was just gonna, I was gonna seamlessly segue into our next headline by, uh, saying, uh, speaking of fucking across borders, uh, so, Vladimir Putin! | |
| He sure does appear to be getting ready to make some moves on the probably-of-age Ukraine. | |
| This is quickly turning into the rumblings of what is going to be a giant fucking international incident here in the not-too-distant future. | |
| And, of course, we're breaking it up on this show because you might, as an American, be thinking, Russia, what a dick move. | |
| Unsurprisingly, Q has a different take on that. | |
| Q thinks that Vladimir Putin wanting to fucking invade Ukraine is the ultimate Chad move. | |
| Such alpha energy, oh my god. | |
| You see a lonely Ukraine just begging for it. How do you open? | |
| I've never understood Q and Alex Jones's like like. | |
| Baffling rollover love of Putin. | |
| Please dictate us. | |
| That's what they're doing. | |
| I do not understand. | |
| They have an aggressive authoritarian mindset, and they want a dictator. | |
| I mean, after the coup in Myanmar, everyone in QAnon was like, God, I never thought I would be envious of Myanmar, but I am. | |
| I live only for the idea of a military dictatorship to take over my country, because that would be a good thing, which is actually not true, and it would be terrible. | |
| Yeah, it's so weird. | |
| Who could have ever guessed that all these red-blooded, ultra-straight, Chadley, uh, American Christian conservatives, like, in their heart of hearts, all they want to do is be dommed by an incredibly masculine top. | |
| You're just literally just like, oh, look at Vlad Putin with his shirt off riding that horse. | |
| Oh, he's just exuding such a powerful, uh, leadership energy. | |
| That's what I mean. | |
| I just want him to run my country real good. | |
| I just want him to run my country deep. | |
| Oh, I want it so deep, all the way to the balls in my country. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| And bring this energy back to my wife, and then get soft halfway through our lovemaking because, uh, Vladdy Daddy's not involved. | |
| Just like, looking over the picture on the nightstand of just shirtless Vladimir Putin riding a horse. | |
| I mean, it's so, it's so pathetic. | |
| And right now, uh, QAnon is just giving us this song and dance that anything Biden does in this situation is bad and wrong. | |
| One of the other things I've been reading a lot of is that the reason why we're doing this is because Russia is a Christian nation, and we hate Christians. | |
| Do we? | |
| Do we really? | |
| Absolutely. | |
| America hates Christians. | |
| And when you bring up that Ukraine is also Christian, they're like, well, they're Christian, but they actually support democracy, so they're a bad kind of Christian. | |
| We're about the Christian dictatorship kind of Christianity. | |
| I mean, for the record, I am personally not a huge fan of Christians. | |
| They are, you know, some of them are pretty cool and just regular people, but a lot of them are not. | |
| And historically, as a group, they're not great. | |
| I mean, like, you just look at the tapes. | |
| We have tapes! | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| We got video of all the crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, just all that stuff. | |
| Yeah, there's like hella receipts, so like, if their position is just like, oh yeah, well, the American people hate Christians, it's like, well, A, not all the Christians. | |
| Like, the Christians in America are probably pretty cool with Christianity, and there's a lot of them still. | |
| Yeah. | |
| They're a massive voting bloc. | |
| Most of the people that are not fond of Christians are people like me, who, like, I'm not gonna actively take steps to try to undermine them or whatever, I'm just gonna continue to think that they're sort of weird, that religion in general is kind of whack, but... I just think they should pay taxes. | |
| Like... I would be, what a dream. | |
| What a dream to make religious people pay taxes. | |
| Sarge is getting out on the thinnest of branches there. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Sarge doesn't bring up his... I lean more agnostic than anything when I'm tentatively Christian, but I am... Oh boy, I think every single church should pay taxes. | |
| Every last one of them. | |
| And if they don't, they need to demonstrate humanitarian efforts. | |
| And I don't even think that should be allowed. | |
| They just need to straight up pay fucking taxes. | |
| So there you go. | |
| We are quite the spread on this podcast, and I don't want to put anything in anyone's face, but fucking pay your taxes, churches. | |
| All content's only on this podcast. | |
| Sarge worked really hard to say not putting anything in anyone else's mouths, because he knew that that was going to go down a dark road. | |
| Wink! | |
| Probably involving Vladdy Daddy and his powerful energy. | |
| I was about to say, if he doesn't want to put it in your face, then he's probably going to put it down your dark road. | |
| If you get what I'm saying. | |
| Ooh, crazy Steve and the gator! | |
| Gator! | |
| Don't think that's not next week's intro. | |
| Don't think that next week I get thrown into Crazy Steve and the Gators. | |
| Anyway, so of course QAnon adherents, they fucking can't get enough of Vladimir Putin and they think that him trying to take over the Ukraine is a great win for the world. | |
| Do you have any sort of insight into the justifications as to why they think that would be so great? | |
| Mostly because they have decided that Putin is a good guy, even though We started off the top about that meme of Putin, Kim Jong-un, and Trump on the phone, and they're all bros. | |
| But one of the early Q-drops was explaining that all the bad people in the world are controlled by the Illuminati, and Putin's one of those people. | |
| And then 100 Q-drops later, Q was like, actually, Putin's calling out the West for being enthralled with Satan. | |
| Q read the room and pretty quickly figured out, oh yeah, the Chanboards kind of worship Putin, and right-wingers love the fact that he's so homophobic and anti-Islam and just generally a shithead. | |
| They just love that. | |
| They just love the idea of someone who just has all the power and abuses it and is terrible. | |
| I mean, it seems really weird. | |
| Like, it does seem really weird because they allegedly, like, love America and the idea of all the shit that Vladimir Putin is doing, like, up to and including being in charge of Russia, runs sort of, like, antithetical to American values. | |
| But when you think about it, it really just, like, it highlights the fact that The typical base for a QAnon adherent is just this, like, contrarian, like, white, terrified of losing any amount of their privilege or power that they feel they're entitled to by birth. | |
| And it's like the same people who, you know, they're just like, oh, I love Batman comics, and their favorite character is the Joker, and they love the Joker, and they think the Joker is awesome. | |
| Because, like, they're just like, oh yeah, Batman rules, but the Joker, oh man, the Joker. | |
| It's just like, the Joker is some random dude who dresses like an actual clown and commits mass atrocities on American soil. | |
| And they're just like, yeah, he's the greatest. | |
| And the only reason they think he's the greatest is because he speaks to that anti-authority, like, you know, just, like, lashing out and stuff like that. | |
| They just, in their heart, they just want chaos because they all think that when, like, Mad Max happens, that they are going to be Mad Max. | |
| And they don't realize that most of them are going to be the guy chained to the front of the car, like, when the Reapers are, like, rolling through the Wasteland. | |
| Or the guy chained to the guy with the hockey mask. | |
| Yeah, they don't understand that they are going to just, like, in all of their heads, they are the warrior of the Waste, when in reality, they are the skull that gets stepped on by the T-800 at the beginning of Terminator 2. | |
| Like, so they just love that shit. | |
| They can't get over it. | |
| They're just like, oh yeah, like, when the white Christian ethnostate happens, I'll be standing there in power with my brothers and sisters. | |
| They're just gonna be like, dawg, Groups in power always need somebody to be marginalized, so even if some conservative Christian snapped their fingers and immediately got rid of all other religions, all people that weren't white, all of that shit, at some point they'd just be like, oh, well, hey pudgy, what are you doing over there with, look at these love handles, idiot. | |
| Yeah, guess what, lower income bracket for you, nerd, lose some weight. | |
| It's just gonna be like, that's the way it is. | |
| Oh yeah, all these groups, the drive for purity requires more and more lines of demarcation for how pure you are. | |
| And if you don't prove your absolute purity at all times, you're now part of the out group. | |
| And if you don't think it's going to happen to you, you're wrong. | |
| Because all Salem witch trials end up devolving into everyone being accused of being a witch. | |
| That's how this works. | |
| Yeah, until the wrong person gets accused, and it's just like, oh, wait, you're accusing my wife? | |
| But I'm, like, a Caucasian Christian judge, so no. | |
| Which trials equal over? | |
| We're done here. | |
| And everyone's just like, okay, boss, and that's that. | |
| Read The Crucible. | |
| Like, it happens time and time and time again. | |
| Or you could watch any of the awful movies based off of The Crucible, mostly because it requires people speaking in Puritan-style English, which is just impossible to listen to and take seriously. | |
| Although there is that great scene in The White Notre writer, The Crucible, where John Proctor or whatever is just screaming, BECAUSE IT IS MY NAME! | |
| That scene is great. | |
| I know you love that line, and it was germane to the conversation, so I want to... Oh, yeah. | |
| I mean, my love of that one single moment from that Crucible movie is well canonized. | |
| Okay, so we're running a little long, so let's just say Vladimir Putin, bad. | |
| Russia trying to conquer Ukraine, bad. | |
| QAnon obviously thinks it's good. | |
| Those people are stupid. | |
| Moving on to our very important weekly segment, do we have our bump queued up for it? | |
| We do indeed, sir. | |
| Excellent. | |
| Oh, and it died. | |
| It started very softly, so I was speaking over it, and then it quickly ended. | |
| So, we'll see if we... Do we want to take another attempt at the bump? | |
| Yeah, give it to us one more time. | |
| We will give it to you one more time. | |
| Let's do this. | |
| Gather round, folks! | |
| It's time for the Rono Roundup! | |
| There we go. | |
| We defeated our technical problems and managed to get our Rona Roundup bump in here. | |
| A very important Rona Roundup for this week, because our good, dearly departed friend, the loaf of meat himself, he would do anything to continue living, but he wouldn't do that. | |
| Which is to say, get vaccinated. | |
| Well played, Meatloaf. | |
| Congratulations on selling like 50 or more million records worldwide, and don't let the door hit you on the way out, you dumb fuck. | |
| Enjoy from beyond the grave your having decided that the vaccine wasn't worth it, and now you're dead. | |
| The survival rate of Rona with the vaccine is something like 83%, and then there's a good chance that you don't get it at all. | |
| I don't understand. | |
| I will continue not understanding. | |
| I don't understand. | |
| I have lost, quotation marks, friends on Facebook for this, and I don't care, because it's... God damn it. | |
| It is what it is. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Hey man, some people, they just have their principles up to including people that are waiting for heart transplants, because in a bizarre first for our Reap Around, I mean Rona Roundup, We're actually, our honorary member this week is a gentleman who was making headlines for having been taken off the heart transplant list for refusing to get the vaccine, and when I see those headlines, my question is, am I supposed to feel sorry for this guy? | |
| I need a new heart to live! | |
| Please give me a heart! | |
| And it's just like, alright, cool. | |
| All you need to do on top of the thousands of other procedures that are laying the groundwork for this incredibly complicated operation is you need to be vaccinated against COVID-19. | |
| No, I don't believe in that! | |
| Cool. | |
| Well, uh, when you see God... I'm gonna give it to someone that deserves it. | |
| When you see God, tell him we said what's up, because no heart for you, idiot. | |
| Like, that's just the way it is. | |
| So, I don't know if the New York Post was trying to tug at my heartstring, no pun intended, but they've failed, because that seemed like a heroic triumphant headline of the success of the medical system putting their foot down. | |
| It just being like, no, we're not gonna give a perfectly good heart to you, you loser. | |
| You take the vaccine or you fuck off. | |
| Yeah, and this has been an ongoing series of events. | |
| This has happened a bunch because this is pretty much standard operating procedure for transplants is that you have to be vaccinated. | |
| People have had kidneys rejected, people have been taken off kidney lists, and these people always get to go on TV and get their 15 minutes of fame throwing a fit about the fact that they won't get vaccinated. | |
| And now they can't get the organ they need. | |
| But DJ Ferguson, who's a 31-year-old guy with two kids and his wife is pregnant with their third child, on the way. | |
| This guy is apparently just gonna leave his wife a widow and his three children without a father because his morality is so strong that, nope, just can't do it. | |
| Can't get the vaccine to get this new heart. | |
| Sounds right. | |
| Sounds good. | |
| Sounds responsible. | |
| Yeah, you don't get to benefit from thousands of years of medical science and advancement if you are picking and choosing when it comes to go time. | |
| You don't get to just be like, incredibly complicated heart surgery to give me the heart out of a literal other person's body. | |
| Thumbs up, yes. | |
| Taking a vaccine so that I don't contract COVID and don't spread it to other people in my neighborhood or vicinity, no deal. | |
| Like, okay, well then, you don't get it both ways, so no medical science for you. | |
| Yeah, it really blows my mind the fact that this guy is trusting the heart transplant, but the vaccine? | |
| Oh, how could I trust the vaccine when I'm trusting you to literally put a dead person's heart in my chest to keep me alive? | |
| But getting a shot that literally hundreds of millions, if not billions of people have gotten? | |
| No bueno. | |
| No deals. | |
| Yeah, I love the idea that you're just like, vaccine? | |
| No thanks. | |
| Anesthesia that will put me out under enough where you can open my body up and replace my heart with another person's heart? | |
| Yeah, that sounds good. | |
| And it's just like, dog, if they put you under, they could inject you with any number of vaccines. | |
| Where do you start and stop believing science? | |
| If you don't trust this vaccine, Where does it stop? | |
| If you break your arm, are you not going to let them put it in a cast? | |
| Because guess what? | |
| That's science too! | |
| Like, I don't know. | |
| Do you trust the drugs that keep your immune system from attacking and killing your new heart because that's the biggest problem? | |
| Yeah, oh boy. | |
| Is that they get rejected by the new body? | |
| I mean, it's... I listened to an episode of Radiolab recently where they were talking about the special drug that allowed organ transplants to stick properly, and it was incredibly fascinating, so shout out to Radiolab, and the opposite of a shout out to this guy, Who is currently, I guess, just taking up a hospital bed that I'm sure somebody else could probably use while he sits at the hospital waiting for his heart to fail because he refuses to take the vaccine and get the heart that he was number one on the list for. | |
| So, I salute you. | |
| A guy whose name I have already forgotten. | |
| Don't feel the need to shame any further by saying it again, but congratulations! | |
| We will see you in a couple of weeks on a future installment of the Reaper Roundup. | |
| Yeah, congratulations on your Herman Cain award. | |
| Like, good job. | |
| I'm sure that Q and I will think that you're a real big hero, so when you go out you'll know that at least you have the literal worst demographic possible in our country rooting for you. | |
| So sad. | |
| Alright, well we're running a little long this week. | |
| It turns out we had a surprising amount to goof and riff on in our headlines, so let's get to our swollen mailbag for the week. | |
| Answer your burning questions. | |
| Our listeners got questions, we got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. So Pancake Peasant asks, the concept of taking the red pill is famous from the Matrix. | |
| QAnon loves their fiction as a guide to truth shtick. | |
| What do they make of the bastion of human resistance and freedom being literally named Zion? | |
| I imagine they probably haven't addressed it. | |
| They're very good at putting their head in the sand. | |
| Yeah, I was about to say, I have to imagine they just have to ignore it because they couldn't possibly have anything good to say about it. | |
| Oh, they have aggressively avoided that part of the Matrix. | |
| They're just like, yeah, we love the red pill, but we hate parenthesis, parenthesis, parenthesis, Zion, parenthesis, parenthesis, parenthesis. | |
| Yeah, they don't talk about Zion, because it would ruin their narrative, and they're just like such... because they obviously were teenage edgelords when the Matrix first came out. | |
| This is kind of the demographic that they're targeting, and everything about the Matrix was cool, and now they found out that that word is not cool, but they are just not gonna... they're not gonna take away the Matrix's innate coolness, because that, again, as they said about the fiction is a guide to truth shtick, The whole concept of the Matrix, that you're the one that's awake, you see the truth, you see the code, man. | |
| That's so important to their narrative, that having the home base of humanity literally be called Movie Israel is just something they're never going to actually bring up. | |
| Yeah, I mean, hey, nobody let him know that if you're opting in to the Matrix as a roadmap for how to live your life, literally Neo is guided on his journey by two incredibly strong, powerful, and intelligent African-American folks. | |
| Like, Morpheus is literally, like, holding him by his hand like a wee baby through the Matrix, while the Oracle is talking to him like a wee baby through the Matrix. | |
| And both those characters are black! | |
| They're not white folks! | |
| Oh shit, Naomi showed up? | |
| Oh, she's also black! | |
| Guess what? | |
| The Matrix was written and directed by trans people starring an abundantly diverse cast. | |
| Guess what, losers? | |
| Zion is the city they live in. | |
| The Matrix was not fucking for you. | |
| Yeah, but in their mind, all they see is, like, Caucasian men, male character, he'd be good. | |
| And they're, like, completely ignoring the fact that all the bad guys are also Caucasian white males, like, specifically. | |
| No colored agents. | |
| Do you wonder why? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| I love the fact that there's one guy on Gab whose avatar is fucking Colonel Sanders from the third movie. | |
| And it's just like, oh, it's like, really? | |
| Like, that's your hero now? | |
| Is that shit character? | |
| His favorite character was the guy who said, vis-a-vis, love. | |
| Like, what has got to be one of the worst written lines in the history of movies. | |
| I just can't wait, you know, like, ten years when those, like, same clowns have, like, got, uh, spoiler alert, but we're far enough along, but, uh, I can't wait for those idiots to have Neil Patrick Harris as their avatar in, like, ten years. | |
| Like, the new villain is just this incredibly, is openly gay, like, stage kid who just got to choose scenery in the new Matrix movie. | |
| Yeah, but his character's not gay, man. | |
| He's like a computer program, so he has to be pure, right? | |
| The fact that QAnon people love The Matrix so much is fucking incredibly dumb. | |
| I mean, everything they do is incredibly dumb, but The Matrix should very obviously piss them off in a number of ways. | |
| I have to wonder if they really do love the Matrix, or if they just love the pill scene, because they ignore so much that... Well, maybe they do love it, because they ignore all subtext, so... They just love the idea of the hero's journey being a person who didn't know the truth, and then discovers the truth, and then changes the world, because they think that's them. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, man, boy howdy. | |
| Nobody tell them about the Adjustment Bureau. | |
| Otherwise, the fedora's coming back, you bet your bottom dollar. | |
| There's your obscure reference for the pod, the Adjustment Bureau. | |
| I'm sure a lot of people out there are just like, what the fuck are you talking about? | |
| Go watch the Adjustment Bureau like nobody did when it came out of the air. | |
| We can go deeper though. | |
| How about Dark City? | |
| Okay, anyway, moving on. | |
| Next question. | |
| So, Cleodora Silvestri is watching Bitcoin collapse this week, asks, considering that manipulating income numbers and juggling multiple books until you get the results you want is financial fraud. | |
| Should we start referring to negative 48's multiple book, multiple book gematria as intellectual fraud? | |
| Yes, it absolutely is. | |
| Like he's even said that himself, that just like work on phrases that get you to the number you want that matches the other phrase you want to make yourself feel better. | |
| The fact that we're then going to claim that this is proof of God's divine will is just gravy. | |
| So, uh, Gematria, in a sense, is literally just a form of... It's pronounced Yuh-mat-ria? | |
| It's just wish fulfillment. | |
| It absolutely is! | |
| Yeah. 100%. | |
| I mean, in that way, it is, like, actually the most, like, that is actually sort of the most pure way of looking at it, right? | |
| Where it's just like, he's like, hey, like, here's a system by which you can generate your own little nuggets of hope to get you through whatever trouble you have. | |
| Like, you just, like, work out this dumb, incredibly easy cipher using words and phrases that make you feel good until two of them match, and then gaze upon their majesty of these two phrases matching and feel positive. | |
| and you know that's sort of like actually sort of like a really like weird version of it but it's like a distilled version of what makes faith like useful to humanity like it is a way to generate hope inside of yourself uh the fact that he's like making a buck off of it and like forming a cult over it and like claiming wild shit like JFK jr is alive masquerading as Uh, either, like, a member of the Rolling Stones or Donald Trump, depending on the day. | |
| Like, that shit's all incredibly bizarre and stupid, but, you know, if people are really, like, feeling hopeless and the Ymatria shit, like, helps make them feel slightly better, uh, that's cool, I guess. | |
| It's no more or less bizarre than, like, Most other religious stuff. | |
| Like, hey, eat this fuck-off bland cracker and drink this terrible cheap wine. | |
| Ah, you just ate and drank Jesus. | |
| How does that feel? | |
| It's like, but wasn't it just a cracker and wine? | |
| And it's just like, well, we said the words to make it Jesus. | |
| So, you know, you get it. | |
| It's Jesus. | |
| And you're just like, you know what? | |
| It is Jesus. | |
| And it does make me feel better. | |
| That's fine. | |
| That's not hurting nobody. | |
| Yeah, it's all rituals. | |
| And humanity has gotten as far as we have because of rituals. | |
| Yes, it becomes fraud once you start using it to pick people's pockets. | |
| Yes. | |
| So, thank you for the question. | |
| Daniel asks, can you dissect some of the QAnon think pieces on the Trump rally at 1.15, such as body doubles and air cues that they were talking about? | |
| The body double shit was all from Negative 48, who was our previous question, just making stuff up about Trump being actually JFK, and that JFK Jr. | |
| was in the crowd, and all that kind of nonsense. | |
| Air queues are a QAnon thing where again they want to imagine that daddy is talking to them through secret messages and one of the things that Trump likes to do is After he's done speaking, he walks away from the podium, and the crowd's cheering, and he'll clap. | |
| And then he'll, like, start pointing at people. | |
| He'll be like, hey you, you, you! | |
| And then after he points at, like, three or four people, he'll make a circle with his finger to kind of indicate, like, I'm pointing at all of you in that group now! | |
| And QAnon is obsessed with the fact that when he does that little circle wave with his finger that eventually he'll, like, make a little strike through the circle to make a Q in the air. | |
| It's an air Q! | |
| I have never... How have we never talked about this? | |
| I've never heard this. | |
| Oh, I'm stunned we haven't talked about the air cue. | |
| But yeah, they... | |
| They'll go through video of Trump rallies, and they'll use the animation software to show you the air cue being made by Trump's fingers. | |
| And the funniest part about it is, 90% of the time, what they call an air cue is so wrong and not even close to being a cue that it couldn't even count. | |
| It's a cursive cue, Mike. | |
| Yes, yes. | |
| Wondering cursive, you fucking millennial. | |
| Oh god, yeah. | |
| He wasn't named Xenon or whatever. | |
| He wasn't named Xehanort or whatever. | |
| They didn't really talk. | |
| Z-level clearance. | |
| Oh, can you- I can't wait until we get to the Omega variant. | |
| Oh, they're gonna lose their fucking minds. | |
| I bet the World Health Organization won't even do the Omega variant based on that kind of stuff. | |
| I know they skipped Nu and Z, which are apparently... | |
| Uh, Greek letters, Z because it sounded too much like the region in China, and they didn't want that to happen, and New because people saying New Corona would be way too confusing. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| And then I'm assuming that the powerful beer lobbyists prevented them from calling the Omicron variant Corona Light. | |
| They were just like, come on man, you're just gonna fucking completely bankrupt us. | |
| You need to calm down. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Introducing the White Claw variant. | |
| That's what they should do. | |
| The World Health Organization should just take this opportunity to just ruin brands. | |
| That's one conspiracy theory that I subscribe to, is that we started calling it COVID instead of coronavirus because Corona Beer was like, hey guys, can you please let it off us? | |
| Can you just please let it, just call it COVID. | |
| Don't call it Corona. | |
| We want to sell a few brews. | |
| Come on. | |
| This Mexican beer company had that kind of power. | |
| You have no idea! | |
| Big beer's got big pull, baby. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, I think I mentioned it on the pod before, but just in case I hadn't, because it still makes me chuckle, there's like some Mexican restaurant, like, local to where I live, it's called, like, Casa de Corona, or whatever, and I was like, ooh! | |
| Ooh, that happened to Hoyt, like, when that dropped. | |
| It's just like, oh yeah, welcome to the fucking house of Corona, so good. | |
| There was that magic card they had to pull back, because they were making a magic card with the face-over of Space Godzilla, Oh man, you mean I can't get the Death Corona card to go with my collection of Invoke Prejudice? | |
| Oh man. | |
| Or Jihad. | |
| Jihad! | |
| Oh man, you mean I can't get the death corona card to go with my collection of Invoke Prejudice? | |
| Oh man. | |
| Or Jihad. | |
| Oh yeah, oh my god. | |
| Yeah, it turns out that Wizards of the Coast finally, like after 25 years or whatever, | |
| they took a little looky-loo at some of their older cards and were like, ah, some of these | |
| are pretty racist. | |
| One of which I will not say because apparently it's a very old slur. | |
| Yes. | |
| Some sort of devils, I would surmise. | |
| I had to look that one up. | |
| I had never heard of it. | |
| And then I got in a small fight on the Internet and I was like, oh, hey, this was taken out because it's a slur. | |
| And the guy argue with me was like, I've never heard of it before. | |
| And I was like, yeah, man, because it's not about you. | |
| And that doesn't matter. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, thank you for the question, Daniel. | |
| Snorlaxcpap asks, Rebooting Castaway but with a MAGA superstar as Wilson. | |
| Who is your Wilson while you're stranded? | |
| MTG, Boebert, Paul Gosart, Wendy Rogers, or Governor DeSantis? | |
| Well, okay, first question. | |
| Is it just their dumb opinions and voice coming out of an actual, like, volleyball? | |
| Or is it the person? | |
| If it's the person, it's Bobert, not Close. | |
| I mean, at least for me. | |
| I've already expressed my shameful attraction to Bobert physically, and they would all be equally wretched to have to speak with in any capacity for any long-term period on a desert island. | |
| So if the tiebreaker is which one looks the best, then again, Bobert, not Close. | |
| Bobert, not Close! | |
| But we're not close to the L story I put on tape. | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| I'd be like, hey, there's just the two of us on this island, so, you know, like, let's get busy, but I like it silently. | |
| But, aw man, you know what really gets me going is absolute silence from you. | |
| I can talk all I want, but you, completely silent. | |
| I'd be like, Ed, as a conservative Christian woman or whatever, you should be totally on board with this. | |
| Me, a male, telling you to shut it. | |
| You just don't talk. | |
| You just don't talk and we'll just do the baby making procedure on this island. | |
| But if it's a voice coming out of a volleyball that's like in my head, | |
| I don't have an informed enough opinion about how these people... | |
| Because then it becomes more about the accent, right? | |
| So I probably just want whoever sounded the least offensive in terms of their speech patterns and accent, and I'm just not informed enough to know who that would be. | |
| Probably not Marjorie Taylor Greene. | |
| She sort of sounds like a harpy every time I hear her open her mouth. | |
| Yeah, I, my god, all of their voices are nails on a chalkboard for me. | |
| It would be brutal. | |
| I think I would probably go with Bovert just because of the fact that I just don't think she's that intelligent and I could just argue and feel smugly superior. | |
| The rest of them would just make me throw Wilson into the ocean, never to be seen again. | |
| And then I would find out that the volleyball didn't have anything to do with it. | |
| It was just in my head the whole time, and then I'd go mad. | |
| So that would suck, but... Yeah, how fucked up, like, how fucked up would it be for, like, that would say a lot about us if we were on a deserted island, and, like, our Wilson is one of these Q people. | |
| One of our ostensible enemies. | |
| Like, yeah. | |
| I'm like, really? | |
| Subconscious mind? | |
| Like, when you snap and break, like, you don't summon anybody I like? | |
| It's somebody I hate? | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's Ron Watkins and not Spider-Man. | |
| Like, okay. | |
| Oh my god, can you imagine the volleyball being Ron Watkins, just the dullest, most inflectioned? | |
| So, we're stuck on this island here, probably going to have to find some water to drink or else we're going to dehydrate. | |
| I mean, it's just Ron Watkins and not the Joker. | |
| Right. | |
| Just, oh my god, just the most boring, dull, monotoned conversation. | |
| I would be in the water just waiting for a shark to just tear me apart at that point. | |
| The rescue crew would get close to shore that they'd use their binoculars or whatever to see me like dry humping a palm tree and they would just turn around and I would just die on the island. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| They're just like, it looks like he strapped a couple of coconuts of what appears to be | |
| a makeshift firearm to that tree that he's grinding on. | |
| And it's just like, oh no, that's Lord Bobert, get out of here. | |
| And then they just turn around and leave. | |
| Lord Bobert is El's Johnny Silverhand. | |
| She just lives in his head. | |
| Oh god. | |
| I didn't think we were gonna get that much delicious horror from that question. | |
| But boy howdy, did that go down a road that I found most horrifying and enjoyable. | |
| Do we got anything else? | |
| We got anything else in the mailbag? | |
| Yes, we do. | |
| Reverend Xenofact asks, with tensions in Russia, how easily could Vladdy Daddy's agents convince Q-heads to commit terrorist acts against US citizens? | |
| Stunningly easy. | |
| Stunningly. | |
| Bonus question, which QAnon grifter would justify it first. | |
| Pepe Lives Matter would justify anything, because, again, they were the biggest one that was just sort of like, hey, I wish we lived in Myanmar, because that'd be great. | |
| All the guys that are actually trying to make a buck off this shit, they would never go down that road, because that gets you calls by the FBI, and that shuts the grift down. | |
| It makes them sad. | |
| Whereas, like, the anonymous idiots who are just like, I hate Biden and want, like, a dictator, those people can mouth off, and it's less likely they're going to get grabbed. | |
| And if they do, it doesn't hurt their grift. | |
| They're just doing this because they want to get internet famous. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, yeah, thanks for that question. | |
| I'm sorry, I realize I never chimed in even to look on that question. | |
| The answer is, at the drop of a hat, if Vlad Putin was just like, hey, QAnon, do some stuff in America, some dumb QAnon person would do it. | |
| Thank you for the question! | |
| And finally, Institute for Advanced Horse Pucky Analysis says, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? | |
| And they did not specify African or European, so I cannot answer. | |
| I answered that question enough in high school. | |
| I will give this incredibly lame referential question the incredible lame referential answer it deserves. | |
| 42. | |
| Boom. | |
| Nailed it. | |
| So, closing up the mailbag, our question to Numerous, which is, what are you looking forward to? | |
| Oh, Pokemon Arceus comes out this Friday. | |
| I have it preloaded on my Switch. | |
| It might be bad. | |
| It might be good. | |
| I am looking forward to it. | |
| I have it. | |
| I have it loaded up. | |
| I'm going to play a new style Pokemon game. | |
| I have medium hopes. | |
| I don't have high hopes. | |
| I have medium hopes, but I am looking forward to it. | |
| The idea is really cool. | |
| We'll see about the execution. | |
| I'm surprisingly and pleasantly looking forward to the remaining episodes of this season of the HBO Max series Peacemaker. | |
| Man, four episodes in and that show is just like a goofy, fun riot. | |
| Just like such a good, fun time. | |
| Roughly a thousand times better than the Book of Boba Fett, which is like the other sort of like streaming Like, you know, fucking killer app that's running right now, so... Prestige television. | |
| Yeah, prestige. | |
| Well, I mean, but, like, I remember that term, but I would not call either of these prestige television. | |
| Right. | |
| Because Peacemaker's John Cena doing a bunch of, like, dumb, like, cock jokes, and Boba Fett is the name of that actor doing a lot of nothing. | |
| So neither of them feel like prestige TV to me, but of the two of them, one of them is incredibly fun and makes me actively want to watch it every week, and the other one is just sort of like kind of a chore to watch every week, but a chore that I feel sort of obligated to be into if I want to know what's going on in the next season of The Mandalorian or whatever. | |
| Yeah, man, if anybody out there is listening, if you want to check out Peacemaker on HBO Max, I highly recommend it. | |
| Boy, like, episode four took that show from, like, something I, like, kind of liked, it was, like, kind of looking forward to every week, to just being something that is number one priority on Thursdays or whenever it comes out. | |
| Just fucking snap it off as soon as I get in. | |
| So fun. | |
| You've been talking To me about it. | |
| I assume we'll cover it on the other pod at some point, which means I will have to watch the movie that puts that character in and then the show. | |
| So I've been very surprised by your love of it. | |
| So I'm excited to try it at some point. | |
| Yeah, and I mean, that movie, The Suicide Squad, is also just, like, a lot of fun. | |
| Like, if you haven't seen The Suicide Squad, I also recommend watching that movie. | |
| It's just, like, James Gunn went in there and did his thing. | |
| He took a big eclectic cast of, like, weirdos and made you feel oddly compelled by almost all of them. | |
| And, like, that's a difficult task. | |
| But James Gunn, that's sort of like his wheelhouse. | |
| Anyway, Mike, what are you excited for? | |
| I'm excited for finishing up this video on YouTube called The Line Goes Up, The Problem With NFTs by Folding Ideas. | |
| Oh, that's a really good video. | |
| Yes, I'm about 45 minutes into it. | |
| We've covered Ethereum, Bitcoin, and how NFTs kind of exist as a side hustle to crypto. | |
| And it's been really awesome listening to it up to this point. | |
| Can't wait to bang out the remaining hour or so that I have left of it. | |
| And so that's something that's gonna be a lot of fun. | |
| And then getting to watch the foosball games this Sunday. | |
| Oh yeah! | |
| Or as Sarge might call it, the three weeks of the coronation of the Kansas City Chiefs as Super Bowl champions. | |
| Congratulations. | |
| Oh, don't don't give him too much credit. | |
| I was I was in the Stanley Ballroom refreshing Google constantly just watching that score just ping pong back and forth and the people I was with can tell you can attest to how stressed out I was because it was like these numbers keep going the way I don't want them to and then like I saw the 13 seconds left on the clock on via Google not watching it and I just had to stand there and like That's insane. | |
| We're terrible at time management. | |
| This is out of control. | |
| Oh, I've seen plenty of Philadelphia Eagle fans being like, how the fuck did Andy Reid ever manage to pull that off? | |
| Why couldn't he have done this for like 10 years in Philadelphia? | |
| That bum. | |
| So yeah, that's what I have in the can for the upcoming week. | |
| Good stuff. | |
| Well, it's time for us to mount our majestic griffins and fly, fly far away from this horrible hell world for the week. | |
| Thank you, everybody, for listening to the show. | |
| If you would like to support us, the easiest and freest way to do that is to continue to listen, tell a friend, give us a five star review or a thumbs up or whatever the fuck they want you to do to say that you like a show, wherever your podcast is provided. | |
| It helps us a lot because it massages that sweet, sweet algo. | |
| If you have some money and you'd like to give it to us, Lord knows we want to take it, you can do so by visiting us at Patreon.com slash PokerPolitics. | |
| Anyone who donates $5 or more a month to our Patreon gets access to our 40, approaching 50 hours of bonus content, including wonderful series such as Kabalin and What We Do Out of Shadows, where the boys watch Dumb Q propaganda and dunk on it like a slam dunking festival. | |
| It's our favorite thing to do. | |
| This week, we do have a wonderful new beautifuller baby who is helping to support our fight in the digital war and that | |
| is you slash brocklin from r slash dank christian memes | |
| Uh those people over at dank christian memes apparently Getting the memo that the bible provided saying that all of | |
| the plants of earth are for human consumption and that would include | |
| the devil's lettuce So thank you so much | |
| Uh brocklin for your support and for everybody else who has been supporting us up until now | |
| If you have some money and you don't want to give it to us, Lord knows we understand! | |
| Go ahead and donate that to love146.org. | |
| They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation, and that sounds pretty great to most people, except for Matt Gaetz. | |
| This is the part of the show where I have to thank people that help by providing their time and effort to the cause, such as DJ Minimal Effort for providing our intro song, who remains too cool for social media, so there's no way to reach out and say that you like his Castlevania tunes, but it makes my heart feel a little bit better when I say, hey, DJ Minimal Effort, good shit. | |
| However, not too cool for social media is our good voiceover artist friend Frosty. | |
| He does our content warning our bumps, and when we needed the voice of Q, you can find him on Twitter, at FrostyVO. | |
| Sarge and I, we have a spinoff podcast where we talk about pop media. | |
| If you can't get enough of our sweet, sweet voices, you can follow us on Twitter, at BingeWerdy, and you can find us wherever your podcasts are provided at The BingeWerdy Podcast. | |
| This week, we drop our hot takes on the movie Encanto, which, unlike the rest of the world, I did not think was very good. | |
| So, if you'd like to listen to me be incredibly right, or, in your opinion, incredibly wrong about the movie Encanto, once again, you can find us at The BingeWerdy Podcast, or on Twitter, at BingeWerdy, B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y. | |
| And, uh, that concludes all that horseshit. | |
| So for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, as always, I have been your host... | |
| Mysterious L. I literally forgot the word mysterious. | |
| It mysteriously vanished from my brain. | |
| It was going so well up until that point. | |
| Fumbling at the goal line. | |
| I'm Mysterious L, joined as always by Hellworld Sarge and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains. |