It turns out Trump had some people come up with a legal justification for his coup. While they were doing that they also admitted they were lying about Dominion voting machines. Also Rudy is broke. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Tech Tips for Life. I'm your host, | |
| an earlier episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| PokeRamPolitics, and I am joined, as always, by Sarge. | |
| Hi! | |
| From the internet. | |
| And the mysterious L. Oh, hey there, my beautiful babies. | |
| The throaty, raspy L this week. | |
| Hey, you wanna buy some cigarettes out of my truck? | |
| Hey there, kids. | |
| Oh no. | |
| I was not going to the kids part. | |
| If you're going to do that sort of voice, I feel like you should shy away from me. | |
| It's just implied. | |
| Well, I mean, are you selling cigarettes to kids out of your truck? | |
| I even went for truck instead of van to try to avoid that correlation. | |
| Sarge just takes everything to dark places. | |
| That's just the way Sarge operates, so yes. | |
| Sarge's mind is like a dark labyrinth with a horrible minotaur at the center. | |
| Can you have a good minotaur in the center? | |
| Like just a friendly minotaur? | |
| Like, hey, a left that way, a left that way, and a right, and you're out of this shit. | |
| It's not that bad. | |
| Have you ever seen that movie Your Highness? | |
| That minotaur is very, very friendly. | |
| I don't think I've seen that. | |
| Oh, it gets a huge slimy erection. | |
| Oh, now I remember! | |
| Yeah, now I remember. | |
| I think we actually saw that in the theater like a million years ago. | |
| Maybe. | |
| Or it could just be your photographic memory for huge erections. | |
| That also. | |
| You're like, oh right, I saw that boner on the internet one time. | |
| What is that new, eidetic, that's the new term for photographic memory. | |
| I have an eidetic memory of penises. | |
| I'm just obsessed with them. | |
| And speaking of weird obsessions and stuff like that, we go into these bad places | |
| and have to post a content warning as it were. | |
| Content warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, | |
| which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| So- I don't know if it was just on my end, | |
| but then like when you started that clip, but like there was a little bit of like, | |
| I don't know if it was just slow down at the beginning, The end result of it was it sounded like, | |
| can't a warning. | |
| I was just like, ooh, extra Bostonian content warning. | |
| It was like, FUCKING CONTENT WARNING. | |
| You're gonna hear some fucked up shit in this podcast, so, you know, grab a Dunkies and just sit down and, you know, strap in because it's gonna get pretty fucking crazy. | |
| It's gonna be wicked fucking weird, kid. | |
| Yeah, you don't even know. | |
| You don't even know. | |
| For the past month, I'm not even joking, the content warning for me has been incredibly slow for the first half and then Alvin and the Chipmunks for the second half. | |
| It's so weird and I just roll with it because no one else, no one ever hears it but me. | |
| I mean, it's been a while, but the content warning is back in style. | |
| Yes. | |
| It's been a while! | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, yeah, I think that we've had enough talk about our technical issues and audio difficulties. | |
| Required by law to sing that any time anyone says that phrase. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So let's get into the headlines. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News. | |
| So, one of the fun things that people have always talked about from the quote-unquote anti-Trump people who are like, yay, Trump wasn't really doing a coup, there wasn't any bad stuff going on, he just filed some meaningless lawsuits, you know, exploring his legal possibilities of staying in office if the election was fishy or something. | |
| And then this week we had literally a six-point memo from Trump lawyer John Eastman that was just like, here's how Mike Pence could give Donald Trump the presidency on January 6th. | |
| Like, just literally throw some electors out from some states we don't like. | |
| Then declare that the number of electoral votes to win is this number and that Trump beats that number and Biden doesn't. | |
| And if the liberal whiners say that that isn't cool, then fine. | |
| We'll say that no one got the 270. | |
| Now it goes to the House of Representatives. | |
| Republicans control 26 delegations to the House. | |
| Democrats control 24. | |
| So boom, the Republicans vote for Trump. | |
| Trump wins. | |
| Get fucked, liberals. | |
| You lose. | |
| We rule. | |
| And so we actually now have a real piece of paper from the Trump inner circle that literally is, this is how we were going to steal the election. | |
| This was actually the plan to keep Trump in power on January 6th. | |
| It's their version of that OJ book, If I Did It, Here's How. | |
| Yes. | |
| Man, that memo sounds fucking wild. | |
| It was just like, well, first of all, ignore this part we don't like. | |
| And then it all started with change the Constitution. | |
| and like just change how things work. We don't like how they work, so change them. | |
| You know, weirdly, what this memo sounds like to me is proof of some sort of election fraud, | |
| which again, I can't stress enough, Republicans have failed to dig up, | |
| despite all of their posher egg and attempts to find it on behalf of Joe Biden. | |
| But here are people, like, actually sending out memos to Trump and Pence and the boys, just being like, here's how we can usurp the government. | |
| And it's just like, well, I'm sure all these proud MAGA idiots are just fine with that, because they're like, well, yeah, we're perfectly fine with fucking lighting the Constitution on fire if our boy wins. | |
| Literally, what this guy was saying was a QAnon argument that the Vice President basically has all the power in the world when it comes to accepting or rejecting electoral votes, and that when he got to Arizona He was going to be like, you know, we got Trump electors and we got Biden electors, so I'm really not sure about those. | |
| And then at the end of the election, he would declare that there were seven different states that were not great. | |
| And therefore, he was going to remove all of those. | |
| And for some reason, they were really obsessed with this guy, Lawrence Tribe, who they list as a Harvard Law professor. | |
| And that eventually, by paring off those like seven bad states, that we would get to... Seven states! | |
| They just had to... Okay, well, we have to not count almost A fifth of America. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And I, what, sorry, what, seven whole fucking states. | |
| We can't count these seven. | |
| Those seven, number one, out. | |
| What, do you know what the seven are? | |
| I assume California. | |
| Uh, I, they, no, I'm pretty sure that, not to California, I'm pretty sure it's just like the, like the seven battleground states that they can look at. | |
| That makes more sense. | |
| We can't count these seven. | |
| Yeah, Michigan, Wisconsin, Georgia, Arizona. | |
| What else was even in the ballpark? | |
| Nevada was in the ballpark and being contested. | |
| I would guess we're going to go whole hog here. | |
| So we might as well throw in Minnesota. | |
| And then I can't even really think of it. | |
| Oh, New Hampshire. | |
| Yeah, that would probably be the next one that was the closest thing that you could possibly do this trick with. | |
| And You shave all those down and it ends up being Trump, you need 220 electoral votes after they're all gone, and Trump gets 232 and beats Biden who gets 222. | |
| And then that falls back into the whole thing where I just said previously that if the Democrats were like, hey, you need 270! | |
| Those are the rules. | |
| Then he goes, oh, well, no one got to do 70, so now we just throw it to the House and we win anyways. | |
| Suckers! | |
| So they just have... I mean, this is just absolutely Calvin Ball nonsense, where you're just making up the rules to make your guy win, no matter what. | |
| It's so ridiculous that we actually have... | |
| A document written by someone. | |
| And again, this isn't that fucking Book Peril. | |
| The book that apparently we had to wait for to find out that General Miley was like, oh yeah, by the way, Trump was insane so I wouldn't let him nuke China. | |
| This is apparently the most important book in the history of the world. | |
| Everyone was just putting all the good shit. | |
| Man, fuck all these idiots. | |
| They did some stuff in the moment, but they didn't say anything in the moment. | |
| They waited until they could make money on those book deals after. | |
| Right, and it's fucking ridiculous that the fate of American democracy hangs in the balance, and you're like, hey, Bobby Woodward, I'll give you a juicy quote for your book if you sit on it. | |
| And Woodward's like, yeah, you got it, boss, no problem. | |
| Oh, you have a memo explaining the outline of your fucking coup? | |
| Great, sounds good. | |
| I'll wait until September to fucking let anyone know about it. | |
| It's so ridiculous that this is how we're finding out how chaotic and messed up everything was around January 6th and all the frantic efforts of the Trump White House to keep power even though they lost. | |
| Yeah, I'd really like to, you know, I'm sure that we have some especially woke listeners who think that they're too evolved to cut people out of their life just because of their political beliefs. | |
| But I mean, at this point, if you're still friends with people that support Donald Trump, this is the sort of thing that you are willfully ignorant to. | |
| You're just turning a blind eye while they support actually undermining the democracy of the country you live in. | |
| I really hope that barbecue with the way they tell their funny anecdotes about their pickup trucks is worth it. | |
| What I'm wondering about all of this is how these people, Jon Eastman and company, how they will feel about Vice President Kamala Harris declaring herself Empress for Life on January 6th, 2025, when she certifies the electoral vote. | |
| And then she's just like, these seven states displease me. | |
| They're gone. | |
| Oh yeah, Joe Biden also displeases me. | |
| He is gone. | |
| I am now your queen. | |
| I now rule America in perpetuity, and I will not be appointing a new vice president, because apparently the vice presidency is the most powerful office in the history of the world. | |
| Because it singularly determines who our president is. | |
| Yeah, they didn't think about giving the playbook to the other team, did they? | |
| I'm still laughing in my head about, like, just, we, alright, number one, we don't count seven entire states. | |
| I'll be laughing about that for the rest of the episode, holy shit. | |
| Yeah, I mean, look, conservatives, you don't think that us libs would, like, there are like a dozen states that I would just like to ignore the existence of and, like, just vote out of the country if I could. | |
| Like, do we really need an Alabama? | |
| No. | |
| Do we need a Texas? | |
| No, they've got their own power grid. | |
| Fuck them. | |
| Like, cut them loose. | |
| Let's trim America down to a tight 40. | |
| Yeah, I think both the Dakotas can just be one state again. | |
| Oh yeah, I'm all about Team One Dakota. | |
| We could make Dakota the world's largest, most massive state. | |
| It could just be like North and South Dakota, fucking Wyoming, pretty much anything that borders any Dakota just becomes One Dakota. | |
| Yeah. | |
| The Northern Territory. | |
| And they'll be like, the 2 million people that live in this 30% of the country really want it to be this way. | |
| It's like, shut the fuck up. | |
| Nobody cares about your tidy 2 million people. | |
| Yeah, we just take that giant red column from North Dakota to Texas, which is like North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma. | |
| They're just BAM! | |
| That's just a column. | |
| It's now just one state. | |
| And then we also just merge Wyoming and Montana into it. | |
| Just BAM! | |
| There you go. | |
| You all are now just one. | |
| You get two senators for the whole thing. | |
| And if Texas is mad about it, guess what? | |
| California says hi. | |
| They know how you feel. | |
| So I mean, we could just Hunger Games style it 13 districts, just everybody. | |
| There's 13 districts. | |
| Boom. | |
| Oh, if there's anything I want in my life, it's more Hunger Games because I have such a well written and incredibly awesome piece of literature. | |
| If you look at their districts, I think you you are describing the Hunger Game districts. | |
| Oh, I retract everything I just said. | |
| I never want to be associated with that. | |
| I thought he had just been referencing racist places. | |
| I was just like, Texas, and Kansas, and Nebraska. | |
| I was like, what do all these things have in common? | |
| Oh, they don't like brown people. | |
| I see. | |
| They could be the one Dakota under bigotry with racism and Second Amendment for all. | |
| Yeah, so District 11 is Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, North and South, or North and South Virginia, West Virginia, Virginia. | |
| Yeah, there you go. | |
| District 2- How the fuck did you know that? | |
| I pulled up a map. | |
| Oh god. | |
| Oh, okay. | |
| I thought you were reading from like a Hunger Games wiki. | |
| I was just like, what the fuck? | |
| I like, I thought you were telling me that in the actual Hunger Games, those states made up a district. | |
| And I was just like, and I would have believed you because I think the Hunger Games, the Hunger Games movie sucked. | |
| So I never read the book. | |
| So I don't know if that said on actual earth or fictional earth or whatever. | |
| What that reminded me of is the fact that there was an announcement that they're going to be resettling like 75 Afghan refugees into Montana. | |
| And some Montana congressman named Matt Rosendale was like, No goddamn way! | |
| Over my cold dead body are you gonna put 75 Afghan refugees in Montana? | |
| What he said was they would be a danger to Montana. | |
| And then they asked him, Congressman, how would these 75 Afghanistan refugees be a danger? | |
| And he did shrug emoji. | |
| I don't know. | |
| He didn't expect the comeback question of how would they be a danger? | |
| Yeah, I mean, they never do, because they just need to express their bigotry, outrage, to fire up their base, and then when pressured on the issue, they clam up because they need to continue to be able to have a career in politics, so they can't just be like, bah, I just don't like Muslims. | |
| Period. | |
| Like, fuck them. | |
| Those people can pray to Allah, and I think Allah sucks, so fuck those guys. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And then when you explain to them that Allah is just Arabic for God, they're just like, well, I don't want my God to have a funny name. | |
| And it's like, they're literally saying God in their own language, you dum-dum. | |
| And they just, they just can't wrap their heads around it. | |
| They just absolutely can't square that circle. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Don't, don't tell them about the God of Abraham. | |
| One day I was dealing the Pokertrons and a guy was getting ready to buy more chips and he pulled out some money and of course on American money it says, in God we trust on it. | |
| And another guy looked at the money and grumped and said, soon it will say on the money, in Allah we trust! | |
| And I just looked at him and I'm like, Allah means God in Arabic. | |
| And the guy just had no reaction to me. | |
| He was just like, nope! | |
| It's a bad word and I don't like it. | |
| It makes me angry. | |
| So I'm going to get angry about it. | |
| I was like, okay, you got it. | |
| I mean, it's just like, oh, you gotta be kidding me. | |
| It's just like, just, I just don't get how you can be so ignorant about the world around you all the time, and just live, and just this constant, perpetual anger about everything. | |
| Because they're white, and all the people they know are white, and all the people they wish to ever know are white, and when you confront them with brown people or cultures or elsewhere, like, these are people that think that, like, the burritos that they get at, like, you know, Chipotle or whatever are, like, authentic representations of some ethnic cuisine. | |
| They just have no fucking idea what's going on outside of their borders. | |
| It's insane. | |
| Speaking of angry white people that don't know what's going on outside of their borders, Mr. Lindell, apparently, of MyPillow, went to Alabama. | |
| Who I'm segwaying to there, you, the listener, get to decide. | |
| So there you go. | |
| So, Mike Lindell was met with the Secretary of State of Alabama who did a gripping grin and had a bunch of photos of Mike Lindell. | |
| It was just like, just had a great talk with Mike Lindell about securing elections in Alabama. | |
| And I just wonder, When you are an elected official in America, did you ever think that there was going to come a day that you were going to be stuck having Mike Lindell harassing you about your voter fraud? | |
| Protocols and how you try to keep things on the up and up so that no people who shouldn't be voting read non-whites are like sneaking their ways into your elections. | |
| Yeah. | |
| John Merrill has a bunch of photos of him hanging out with Mike Lindell in front of a lot of busts of presidents hanging out with flags in the background. | |
| And it's just like, oh my God, like, I just can't imagine having, like, a lunch power meeting with, like, your staff and everybody, and the MyPillow guy just dips in and is like, Hey, guys! | |
| Time to listen to all of you talking the good ol' talky-talk about the voting fraud. | |
| And, um... Yeah, I mean, I feel like in the majority of alternate dimensions, like, Having, like, as a legislator or whatever, somebody with actual power in a government, having to meet with Mike Lindell for any reason, is like the equivalent of landing on Celebrity Big Brother. | |
| Like, you know that your career has taken a dark turn, and it's probably sun setting. | |
| You're just like, really? | |
| I have to talk to fuckin' the MyPillow guy about, like, politics? | |
| And policy? | |
| Why? | |
| He fuckin', he makes pillows! | |
| That's what he does! | |
| He makes pillows and towels and, like, beds! | |
| And he can't even go on Fox News anymore because he is so liable. | |
| He's just a walking lawsuit machine. | |
| And, uh... | |
| Maybe he pulls well down there, who knows? | |
| Alabama and Peru have the two highest COVID death rates at the moment. | |
| So, I don't know. | |
| As of the time of this recording. | |
| Those poor Alabamans, my heart is bleeding for them. | |
| I feel so bad for those people in Alabama. | |
| I mean, I feel bad for the people, but they've been crushed by the opioid epidemic. | |
| And now this, their governor literally refusing on CNN to even talk about what he might do to help with this pandemic, which I believe, you know, give it a day or two, it's about to pass the 1918 Spanish flu record. | |
| You know who has to have the hardest work and job in government? | |
| Whoever's in charge of the Alabama Bureau of Tourism. | |
| Can you imagine? | |
| Hey, come to Alabama. | |
| We have fucking people addicted to opioids and COVID death. | |
| Come see our plague pit. | |
| Come see our Swampy Nothing and our racism and our overflowing morgues. | |
| What is Alabama's number one tourist destination? | |
| I would guess it'd probably be Alabama football if you're just a bandwagon hopper who didn't actually go to Alabama. | |
| You're just like, I want to root for a good football team in college. | |
| I'll just root for Alabama. | |
| They win all the time. | |
| The number one tourist destination in Alabama is the U.S. | |
| Space and Rocket Center. | |
| That sounds right, because that was kind of what we did in the 1960s when we were trying to get the South on board with the whole, like, let's beat the Russians to the moon thing, was Lyndon Johnson was just like, well, we're obviously going to put all the real good shit in Texas, because that's where I'm from. | |
| The National Voting Rights Museum is in Selma, Alabama. | |
| I understand why it's there, but there's some irony in that. | |
| What's really funny in the lunch meeting of the Secretary of State and the MyPillow guy is in the background they have this collage which appears to be a tribute to Robert Kennedy. | |
| And it's just like, yeah, the good citizens of Alabama would have definitely voted for RFK were he around today. | |
| I'm sure that kind of Massachusetts liberalism really resonates with the good folks of Alabama. | |
| So yeah, I can see why you would take a lot of community and solace from that leading light of the Democratic Party back in the day, as it were, that Alabama loves so much. | |
| And I also love that he had a hashtag about his meeting with Mr. Mike Lindell, easy to vote and hard to cheat. | |
| And it's like, yeah, yeah, you guys are doing everything you can to make it easy to vote, right? | |
| Yeah, you're like, here's your ID. | |
| The National Voting Rights Museum is in Alabama because you've historically made it very hard to vote there. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, they're just like, your low-income housing high-rise is technically in a different district, so... And it's just like, wait, what? | |
| And it's like, yeah, easy to vote. | |
| Certainly not gerrymandered. | |
| Come to Alabama. | |
| Visit our Air and Space Museum or whatever. | |
| Visit our scenic highway to Tennessee, where there are actually things to look at. | |
| I mean, I feel like we could just run up the scoreboard dunking on Alabama endlessly, because, I mean, if your state's crowding achievement is a college football team, then ugh, tugs on collar because the listeners can't see us. | |
| But instead, let's circle back to one of our old friends. | |
| Since we're in the Mike Lindell MyPillow sphere, let's talk about somebody who leaves at least half of his face on the pillow every night. | |
| Good ol' Melton Rooley Giuliani. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| So I've been chronicling on Twitter a lot that, like, Jack Posabeck, who is a low-level shithead pizza gate promoter who literally posted a bunch of neo-Nazi references, was out there looking for that MyPillow money. | |
| But now there's a new sheriff in town, like, rattling his cup, looking for a few pennies to come raining down from Mike Lindell. | |
| And that's Rudy Giuliani, who actually posted a tweet that said, go to MyPillow.com for great products. | |
| I just love the towels. | |
| Don't forget to use promo code Rudy for extra savings. | |
| Can someone fall farther? | |
| Yeah, go ahead. | |
| In 2001, he was literally Time's Man of the Year. | |
| He was America's mayor. | |
| He was the guy that was like our rock after 9-11 because George W. Bush was like peeing himself in the corner and like sobbing and crying for 10 hours before they finally... He was peeing himself in the bunker, sir. | |
| Maybe the corner of the bunker, but he was in the bunker. | |
| Right, yes. | |
| But yeah, so it's like, Rudy was like our avatar in America's Darkest Hour in that moment, and he's gone from being that guy to being, hey, Mike Lindell, can you cut me a check if I happen to funnel some people through to your website via my Twitter-trons? | |
| It's so it's so embarrassing. | |
| It's so pathetic. | |
| And what I love more than anything beyond promo code Rudy for extra savings is that the Mike Lindell little like label on his towel is my pillow towels that work exclamation point. | |
| I love the idea of that! | |
| Have you ever gotten out of the shower, began toweling yourself off, and went, Fuck! | |
| This towel doesn't work! | |
| Where can I go to find a towel that works? | |
| I will say the towels that they issued me in the army at basic training did not work very well. | |
| They did not work. | |
| Well, good news, if the army could use code Rudy for big savings. | |
| Lots of sweet, sweet towels. | |
| You hear that, army? | |
| You can get... | |
| Patriotic ugly brown towels instead of unpatriotic not working brown towels. | |
| Three doors down can serenade you in the shower while you towel down with a sweet MyPillow towel. | |
| You're talking about falling. | |
| You're talking about falling pretty far. | |
| I mean, I remember when Three Doors Down was, like, the biggest, like, butt-rockin' rock band on the planet, and then they just decided to tether themselves to the U.S. | |
| military. | |
| It's just like, hey, boys, we need you to write a new song for our recruitment videos. | |
| It's just like, okay, cool, I guess. | |
| Three Doors Down is here to tell you to go pick up a gun and harass some brown people in a country that we have no business being in. | |
| Are three of those down super conservative now? | |
| Did I miss this? | |
| I mean, I don't know if it's still the case, but for a while they were like the official rock band of the army. | |
| Like, I would go to see movies and, uh, you know how they have like the big, like, you know, the Pratt, the few, the Pratt, the marines, or whatever. | |
| I'm aware. | |
| Yeah, so they would fucking, it would be that shit, but it would just be like, you know, night vision, Footage of people like running fake ops for the camera like definitely not doing any real work But just making it look like they're working like like they're filming a movie We're like three doors down over it just like chunking around away on their guitars They're just crooning about how it's great to be in the military or whatever and then like a jet would fly over and some guy would just be like Like do it for your country idiot, and it's just like no. | |
| I'm not gonna do that Can I please can I please just watch this Marvel movie? | |
| I want to see Fat Thor So I scrolled down from Rudy's MyPillow shilling and, like, just in a proof that irony is dead, on September 20th he posted a link to an article titled, Biden's Slide Toward Dictatorship. | |
| This is a man who, if he wasn't in the room for that six-point memo about not letting seven states have an electoral vote, Uh, he knew about the people in that room who had that meeting and got the message. | |
| And he's whining about, uh, Sleepy Joe being the guy who's gonna turn America into a dictatorship. | |
| You were literally part of the coup, Rudy! | |
| You were literally there! | |
| I mean, you gotta- You were there at Four Seasons Landscaping. | |
| Can you imagine being so slavishly devoted to someone that you are still... Rudy Giuliani has to get on the internet and just be like, oh, Biden's trying to turn this country into a dictatorship. | |
| You know who was super great? | |
| Donald Trump. | |
| And it's like, dude, Rudy. | |
| You're looking mad desperate right now, dawg. | |
| You're looking like the clingy ex that won't go away. | |
| Donald Trump has moved on. | |
| He gives no fucks about you. | |
| He stopped giving you the money you need to battle your legal campaigns. | |
| He stopped paying for your $10,000 hair and oil treatment that keeps your face attached to your body or whatever. | |
| It's over for you. | |
| He's like, no, don't worry. | |
| One of these days, I'll get rid of this. | |
| I could change him. | |
| I guess he's like looking at like how Steve Bannon got back into Trump's good graces. | |
| Michael Flynn at one point, like Trump was like planning out his second term. | |
| And he's like, I'm going to bring back Michael Flynn, even though he was a convicted criminal. | |
| And then I had to pardon him for his crimes. | |
| I mean, Rudy's just hoping for that second act with Trump where he can just, baby, take me back. | |
| Yeah, there's no way. | |
| Trump cuts bait on people and they don't get to come back. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, I mean, you know, Mike did just list a couple of people that got to come back, but I don't think Giuliani's one of them, because Giuliani just, what does he have to offer? | |
| Like, nothing, right? | |
| Like, he can't practice law anymore, he just doesn't do anything. | |
| He's just Trump's buddy from the old times, who's just this weird New York guy who is a lawyer, kind of, but probably not for much longer allowed to legally do these kinds of things. | |
| Sadly, it appears that if we want Rudy to do the intro for our podcast on Cameo, we gotta pay him $3,000. | |
| For a personal use video, we can get him for $400. | |
| So we can just lie to him. | |
| We can just tell him that when he does the intro for Hellworld that it's... this is personal. | |
| It's just for a friend. | |
| And an inside joke we call Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| Rudy's never gonna know. | |
| Yeah, we did a crowdfund $3,000 so that we could get Rudy Giuliani to read, like, our bub for the Q&A segment. | |
| Yuckers. | |
| Because Q&A seems so innocuous that there's no way he would get it. | |
| He would just be like, yeah, sure. | |
| This is America's mayor, Rudy Giuliani, and it's time for Q&A. | |
| We could just be like, ah, fucking what a goon. | |
| We got it for the low, low price of three grand. | |
| America's mayor, like the Cowboys are America's football team. | |
| Yes. | |
| Except the Cowboys actually wear something. | |
| Yes. | |
| You can't get Jerry Jones to do an intro for the podcast for $4,000 because that man actually has money. | |
| I just love that Rudy's on cameo. | |
| He's just so desperate. | |
| He's just like, I'll say anything you want for 400 bucks. | |
| It's so sad. | |
| It's just so... Is it sad? | |
| I think it's hilarious. | |
| I think it's hilarious and also fuck that guy. | |
| I want to watch him slide even more. | |
| I want him to die penniless and with almost no recognition. | |
| When he passes on from his advanced age, because I'm not going to publicly say that I want him to die of anything other than advanced age. | |
| Like, I want him to be, like, you know, Nikola Tesla destitute, like, living in, like, a single room apartment somewhere, just, like, clinging to his one pillow, and his one MyPillow, and his one MyTowel, and just, like, you know, that's how he drifts off into eternal sleep. | |
| You think MyPillow's still gonna be around? | |
| I mean... I just trust that they make a good enough product that even if they're gone, the pillow will remain. | |
| Although, it may actually end up being a Dominion-brand MyPillow, as it were. | |
| Because our boy Rudy, again, speaking of memos he may have been in the room for, we now also have a memo from the Trump campaign stating that they knew they were lying about Dominion and Smartmatic's voting machines being rigged or being against them in the election. | |
| And they still were saying these things after the fact, which is absolutely mind-blowing to me that one of the things that like Mike Lindell and Sidney Powell and Lin Wood and all these other just absolute dingbats have been really counting on is the fact that with the First Amendment and all this kind of stuff, it is so hard in America American Sniper lost one. | |
| Yes! | |
| lawsuit. It's just so hard to actually say, hey, your free speech that the Constitution | |
| protects was such so flagrantly bullshit. It's such an absolute violation that we are | |
| allowed to take money from you for the bad things you said. | |
| And American sniper lost one. Yes. He died. Yeah. Again, and it takes work to do that. | |
| So it's just, it's so incredible that they actually managed to write down documents saying, hey guys, we know we're lying about this. | |
| Like, actually lying about Dominion. | |
| And so, I don't know, maybe stop lying about them? | |
| And literally everyone was like, no. | |
| We are going to continue to lie about Dominion. | |
| We are going to file the Kraken lawsuit and all of this other nonsense and just absolutely besmirch and defame Dominion and Smartmatic in the eyes of America so that, literally, if you're a Republican voter, you think these companies fucked you out of the election. | |
| I mean, and they knew it. | |
| They knew they were lying about it, which is so wild. | |
| I mean, this is... They're trying. | |
| They're trying to find a way to lose one of these lawsuits, which... | |
| I saw so many people on the internet being like, yeah, Dominion has a right to sue them, but it's really hard. | |
| They're probably going to lose. | |
| I mean, I don't fancy anyone's chances of winning a libel case in America. | |
| So good on you, Dominion. | |
| Good luck. | |
| But yeah, you're probably fucked. | |
| First Amendment, bitches. | |
| And now, it's almost like the Trump campaign's like, how can we lose this lawsuit? | |
| Have memos proving that we're lying and we know we're lying? | |
| Okay, great. | |
| Let's write those down. | |
| Dominion did not cost us the election, but we're gonna say it anyways. | |
| Signed, the Trump campaign. | |
| I mean, it's just... | |
| And timestamp it. | |
| Take a photo of the timestamp. | |
| Make sure everyone knows that we said this at exactly this moment in writing in one of our meetings, and then we went on the CNN and started screaming about Dominion costing us the election because they're fraudulent. | |
| I mean, it is so wild that they've done everything they possibly could to screw themselves over. | |
| They have actually made a paper trail of evidence for their opponents to use against them. | |
| I feel like if you, as the former President of the United States, like, with the biggest platform possible for someone, essentially, like, you know, this side of, like, you know, some crazy influencer's Instagram or whatever, like, Kylie Jenner's Instagram has more reach than Donald Trump, but it's pretty close. | |
| I feel like if you could do that and then these documents come out and then you still somehow, like, Like, if Dominion somehow still can't beat Trump in court with, like, a libel case, then, like, why the fuck do we even pretend, like, libel and slander are things that we, like, punish? | |
| Like, why even have those laws as a thing that people can try to litigate if it's just impossible to ever win them? | |
| Like, fucking just be like, hey, the First Amendment allows you to say whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| I mean, this has gone from something that, to me, Joe Layman, who has no idea how these laws work, this has gone from me being like, ah, they probably won't win. | |
| This is a slam dunk. | |
| If they don't get a billion dollars, I don't know what's what. | |
| So it's going to be so interesting to see how they try to defend this. | |
| I've heard some people saying that, like, maybe Lin Wood wasn't in the room, so he didn't get the memo, so he doesn't know any better. | |
| But Sidney Powell was at the podium of these people a few times. | |
| I mean, she was absolutely around before, like, the inner circle of Trump's people were like, yo, Sidney Powell's a little too out there for us. | |
| Can you move her away? | |
| Can we push her aside a little? | |
| What's going on with her? | |
| Has she, like, disappeared into the background yet? | |
| Oh, no, she's just doing her thing. | |
| She's just grifting on Telegram, just yelling at everybody, being like, hey, look at all this fraud going on. | |
| You know how it is. | |
| Keep up with me. | |
| Give me money. | |
| I'm still fighting the good fight because we had so much election fraud, and it's terrible. | |
| And look at the Arizona audits and all that good stuff. | |
| I mean, she's still hustling. | |
| Her telegram handle is the greatest thing in the world because it's lightning bolt, American flag, Sidney Powell, American flag, Statue of Liberty. | |
| So she is just freedom and electricity like you read about. | |
| She's all about these things. | |
| And, uh, she has a, uh, she has a post from another grifter named Seth Keschel, who's just based, just constantly posting bullshit about election fraud. | |
| He has a chart about obvious election fraud in Montana. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That Montana, that was really, uh, the deep state was working real hard to flip Montana to blue as it were. | |
| Cause that was a thing that was very obviously something that could happen. | |
| With their what? | |
| Two electoral votes? | |
| Yeah, yeah. They don't even get three. Montana is so small. | |
| The third electoral vote every state gets they don't get there's | |
| a nope. Fuck you, Montana. You only get to each shirt. | |
| Do are it like I didn't even know that Are states mandated a minimum of three? | |
| You get electoral votes for every person in the national congress you have. | |
| So you have two senators and one representative in even the smallest state. | |
| So that's why you get three in every state. | |
| So, when you see, like, South Dakota... Yes, that makes sense. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, so, and then if you, like, crunch it out, like, California's actual power should be, like, around, like, 70 electoral votes instead of 55. | |
| But, hey, fuck big states and fuck liberals, because white people in rural states should have more say over who the president is, because that makes a lot of sense. | |
| And, uh, five-minute discourse about the Electoral College being bad, and we're back! | |
| Okay, great, so... | |
| My favorite thing about this little chart that Seth Keshel made is he has a little line for, like, where the liberal vote should have been in Montana, and then an evil, like, higher-moving line where it actually was. | |
| And he's like, this is proof of fraud, because instead of getting 200,000 votes, the libs got, like, 230,000 votes. | |
| I made a graph, and it's proof. | |
| Oh, it absolutely is. | |
| Observe my mighty graph. | |
| Everyone knows how much L loves graphs and bars going up and numbers going up. | |
| Oh, dude, you can prove anything with a sweet, sweet graph. | |
| I mean, I'm sure that having a graph is a good way to trick dumb people that otherwise might be, like, immune to just being told a thing. | |
| Like, if I just went up to you and I was just like, Conservative males have lower testosterone than liberal males, like scientifically proven. | |
| People be like, that's bullshit. | |
| And I was like, no, check this out. | |
| If I pulled out a graph, even a graph that I just went to Kinko's and made, like based on no actual scientific data. | |
| And I was just like, see, look at the graph. | |
| Some people might just be like, oh shit. | |
| Like, how do I, how do I get my T levels higher? | |
| I'm just like, vote for Biden. | |
| Vote for Biden and your balls will start churning immediately. | |
| All you need to run a proper coup or grift is a graphics department. | |
| Do you have a graphics department? | |
| If not, get one. | |
| How else are you making your fucking graphs? | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's what it's all about. | |
| You just show someone a visual aid to represent the bullshit that you just said to them, and your brain gets hit with both audio and visual cues, and you're just like, oh! | |
| That has to be accurate. | |
| That has to be true. | |
| That's why all swap machines now, when you need, like, three ladders to trigger the minigame to win the big money, They give you two different ding noises for the first two ladders, so then you anticipate the third one and you don't get it. | |
| Now you need to hear that third ding, so you keep smashing the button and giving the slot machine your money, because you're a barely-evolved ape, and we're able to trick your brain into doing things to get the reward it's seeking. | |
| And we empty your pockets that way. | |
| There's no way that casinos are that manipulative. | |
| Get out of here. | |
| You shut up. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| My favorite thing in the gaming industry that I've learned in my many, many years there is there's actually a thing where they design games to have a proper, slow rate of draining your money from you and giving it to the house. | |
| They don't want to take your money too quick. | |
| They can design a game and be like, shit, this game robs people too fast. | |
| We need to have a person have an enjoyable two or three hour losing session at the table. | |
| We don't want them to have a 20 minute losing session at the table. | |
| So we got to not take their money that quickly. | |
| And it's just, it's so insidious. | |
| I think they call it burn rate. | |
| And it's just like to just think of that kind of like thing where they're actually trying to calculate the proper way to like jack you. | |
| In what is basically a slow-moving robbery is truly incredible. | |
| I hope that is, in fact, their official internal term for it, is burn rate. | |
| I just love the callit. | |
| You could name that anything. | |
| You could name it fun rate. | |
| But no, internally they're just like, fuck it, it's the burn rate. | |
| It's the rate at which we manage to burn these people out into just like useless, penniless husks. | |
| The fun rate! | |
| There's that super old saying where they say you can boil a frog to death if you just turn the heat up slowly, so slowly that they don't notice. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| Is that a saying? | |
| Yes, it is. | |
| What sort of monstrous place do you live in where that's a saying? | |
| I think it comes from out your area. | |
| From the liberal east coast you think is boiling frogs slowly? | |
| Yeah, or maybe the south. | |
| We don't even boil lobsters slowly. | |
| We do that shit bad quickly. | |
| You want that pot to be ripping hot when you drop the little buggy boys in there. | |
| Oh yeah, the lobsters are insta-dead when we throw them in the pot. | |
| It's an old fable. | |
| Yeah, it's an old fable. | |
| Oh yeah, oh, trust me, it's one of QAnon's favorite things to talk about, about how the liberals are slowly taking away your rights and that you are the frog and the pot is slowly coming to a boil. | |
| Oh, do they? | |
| Of course they would love it. | |
| Oh, QAnon loves their boiled frogs. | |
| Oh yeah, the libs are slowly turning up the heat to boil these frogs. | |
| Might we interest you in this memo telling you how to undermine our own democracy? | |
| Fuck the libs! | |
| The libs are evil! | |
| Like, sign this petition to allow us to enact fucking, like, coup law and state an emperor, like, that's conservative. | |
| God, I just hate conservatives so much. | |
| It's like, I just don't have an enemy to be funny about. | |
| I just fucking hate their guts. | |
| Yeah, because they're completely hypocritical. | |
| They stand for nothing other than the obtaining of power. | |
| And that's it. | |
| I mean, it's just everything you deal with when you... | |
| Just watch our politics going on when Justice Scalia dies, like, nine months before an election. | |
| They're like, hey, we can't have another Supreme Court justice until the American people have their say! | |
| And then Ruth Bader Ginsburg dies, like, two weeks before the election. | |
| They're like, boom! | |
| New justice! | |
| Nailed it! | |
| Boom! | |
| Amy Cohen Barrett on the court! | |
| Get fucked, lads! | |
| Boom! | |
| We did it! | |
| We win! | |
| It's just... They don't care about anything. | |
| They don't care about how hypocritical they are. | |
| Nothing. | |
| They're just playing the game to win and consolidate power. | |
| And if you point that out, you're the bad guy. | |
| You're the meanie no-no person for being like, hey, wait a minute. | |
| Those guys are just doing everything they can to try to just turn America into a fascist dictatorship because that's what they want right now because they're very afraid of this younger generation of non-white people who really don't believe in God that much changing shit in ways that make them sad. | |
| I mean, it's really... | |
| It's where we are. | |
| We have this, like, massive, like... The Boomers were just around for forever, because every generation thinks the kids these days, they're so crazy with all the crazy stuff they're doing. | |
| I just can't. | |
| With their fork knife and their Tic Tacs. | |
| Yes, exactly, it's just that thing. | |
| And their gender spectrum? | |
| Yes, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, all of, oh, oh, man, with their tolerance of people who aren't straight, sit-hess people, I mean, just all of that stuff, just... | |
| It's always been around, but the boomers have always had this oversized power in America because they were this giant generation that was just able to throw its weight around. | |
| And now that the boomers are dying off and they're losing that demographic power because they were just like, hey, there's more of us than there are of you. | |
| We'll just outvote you, you dumb young people. | |
| And now it's like, hey, wait a minute. | |
| Oh, no, the young people are getting older and us and they're still more tolerant. | |
| And us old people are now dead people. | |
| So it's like, fuck, no. | |
| So the boomers are just just so desperate to grasp and cling to power any way they can. | |
| Speaking of. | |
| No, finish your thing. | |
| No, no, I'm just saying they're just so desperate to maintain the power that they've had their whole lives. | |
| Like, America has spent, like, basically since the 1970s, when the Boomers were all in their 20s, we've, since that time, we've been kissing their asses. | |
| We've been kissing the Boomers' asses for, like, 50 years now. | |
| And now that Gen X and the Millennials and Gen Z, now that we have, like, the, I would assume those three generations combined are now the majority over the Boomers, the boomers just can't handle it. They're just like, no, | |
| young people are now beating us in population unacceptable. We can't let them win elections | |
| now and like not hate nonwhite people. | |
| That's bad. It's just like, shut up. Shut up. | |
| In the words of Matthew McConaughey, they'll keep getting older. And eventually that leads to death. | |
| Yep, pretty much. | |
| Yeah, I mean, that's just the way this works. | |
| I mean, the younger generations are going to win because they always do. | |
| And the thing that is cool for you is that at one point in your life, you will be part of those younger generations. | |
| The sucky thing is at another point, you're going to be part of the older generations and you're going to lose and you're going to be mad at the world passing you by. | |
| God, I can't wait to be grumpy Mike Raines in my 60s being all pissed off at the world. | |
| And being mad at those kids doing their weird stuff on the Tiki Talks. | |
| I'll go ahead and put it here on digital wax for perpetuity. | |
| If I'm like 60 or whatever, and I'm shaking my fist at the younger generation, as long as they're liberal in my heart of hearts, I'm cool with it. | |
| I want this progressive wave that they keep trying to happen. | |
| I want a 135-year-old Bernie Sanders to get elected to President of the United States, and I want him to give me a pony and forgive all my student loan debt. | |
| That'd be great. | |
| I'll take it. | |
| I just want them to win. | |
| That'd be my perfect dream. | |
| Please just win, young people. | |
| Defeat the old people. | |
| Because we need that. | |
| Because old people suck. | |
| That's the meatspace world I live in. | |
| Your scalding hot take. | |
| If it's the year 2051 and the progressive wave has crashed into America and the worst thing about my life is having to deal with people talking about how they're just like, yeah, I might be stuck in this human body, but I identify as a quadrillion, which is four different types of alien in one body. | |
| And I'm just like, all right, cool. | |
| That doesn't make any sense to me because I'm dumb and fucking old and set in my ways. | |
| But at the end of the day, as long as liberal policy is the way of the world, then Fuck it, man. | |
| You live your best four alien life. | |
| That's fine. | |
| We don't have a bump for it yet, but do we want to do the Delta Forest Reaper Roundup? | |
| Oh, no, we do have a bump for this. | |
| Hey, everybody. | |
| It's me, Rudy Giuliani. | |
| I'm here. | |
| And it's time to see what dumbfuck conservatives got murdered by a preventable virus this week in our Reaper Roundup. | |
| Can I get my money now? | |
| It's a good one. | |
| Clip that. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, absolutely. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| So, Laura Loomer is trying to not die from COVID, which was really hilarious. | |
| Who is that? | |
| Was she vaccinated before she got it? | |
| I would say Laura Loomer is basically a QAnon-adjacent kind of right-wing provocateur. | |
| She's one of these people that whenever she's doing anything, some media agency will do a puff piece calling her a conservative firebrand, which firebrand just means piece of shit. | |
| That's actually what firebrand means whenever you read the term conservative firebrand. | |
| She, um, when they were doing that, um, like that theater presentation of Julius Caesar and they had Trump as Caesar being assassinated, like she ran on the stage and like screamed and yelled, um, and had a fit. | |
| When she got banned from Twitter, um, she handcuffed herself to the doors of Twitter's front office. | |
| I remember her. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And the best part about it was she handcuffed herself to one door. | |
| So everyone was able to just go in and out of the building around her and she actually didn't stop anything. | |
| Yeah, and she ran for Congress in Florida. | |
| She won the Republican primary in 2020 and then got smashed in the general election because it was an ultra-blue district that no one serious wanted to run. | |
| They were content to get just stomped by the Democrat. | |
| So she did it so she could grift people for money and then whine about losing to voter fraud because that's how these scammers always operate. | |
| But the most important question is, was she vaccinated? | |
| No, oh, adamantly unvaccinated, uh, never gonna take the COVID death shot and all that other kind of stuff and blah blah blah. | |
| Uh oh, I've got some bad news for her. | |
| It's coming. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| Get ready, get ready, Loomer. | |
| This is what happens. | |
| It's popping off. | |
| Are you playing an Undertaker promo? | |
| I just did a YouTube search for Reaper Bell. | |
| I thought you were going to play an Undertaker thing, and I was like, I don't know. | |
| I'm not going to besmirch the glory of famed WWF slash WWE wrestler The Undertaker in our Laura Loomer segment. | |
| Also, I feel like even for our tiny ass podcast, the WWE would still come for us. | |
| Probably. | |
| Sadly, for those of people who really enjoy Schadenfreude, Laura appears to be spending her grift bucks on the Regeneron, so she's probably going to be fine in the long run here. | |
| Because when you get on the high grade stuff, you tend to make it as it were. | |
| I feel like if you have been unvaccinated for no good reason other than not wanting it to, medical professionals would be able to make you sign a document that says that you don't get any of the good COVID drugs. | |
| There's like, we need to save the good COVID drugs for people that got the virus that need it, like, because they couldn't get vaccinated or they got vaccinated and it's a breakthrough case. | |
| Like, you, unvaccinated, you do not get gene therapy or whatever. | |
| You do not get the Regeneron juice. | |
| No Adrenochrome for you. | |
| Yeah, she posted on her social media that she had not taken the vaccine and she plans on never taking it because it is unsafe and ineffective. | |
| And she was on hydroxychloroquine and atheromedicine, which looks like a different version of ivermectin. | |
| And also she's getting Regeneron. | |
| So yeah, so she's just... | |
| Like, don't take the vaccine to prevent all this shit from happening to you. | |
| But the moment you get it, just poison your body with every goddamn thing you can. | |
| And then also on top of that, use the real drug that actually works. | |
| So you can not die. | |
| I just I just love the fact that these people are like, oh yeah, I got sick. | |
| So now I'm drinking paint thinner and like attaching leeches to myself to drain the illness from me. | |
| And I'm also using modern medicine. | |
| I'm also on top of those things using the actual good stuff that doctors recommend on top of the paint thinner and the leeches. | |
| Yeah, I had some chronic illness, or some chronic pain, and I went to go see my Reiki specialist, and after a few sessions with him pointing his palms at me and realigning my chakras, oh, and also the morphine, I feel a lot better now. | |
| It's just, oh man, you like... It's good to hear, I was worried about you. | |
| Yeah, the Reiki. | |
| I mean, it's proof in the pudding. | |
| If you can find a Reiki specialist that's also legally trained to provide you with morphine, you should really go get it done. | |
| I don't have any joke. | |
| I was gonna try to do a bit and make up a name for your Reiki specialist, and I can't even think of a stereotype for what a Reiki specialist would be named. | |
| I mean, honestly, at this point, probably, like, Sean. | |
| Yeah, Chet. | |
| He's just like, hey, welcome to Reiki world, I'm Sean, I'm gonna be the one realigning your energy today, so just, like, sit back and let me charge you $200 an hour to wave my palms over you. | |
| And, you know, the dumbfuck gullible idiots everywhere are just like, Oh, yes, I can't wait to have you wave your palms over me. | |
| It's just like, OK, cool. | |
| Well, it's a good thing that you've got the money to blow on that while children are starving. | |
| Yeah, that's fine. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Anyway, you know, I mean, the placebo effect is very powerful. | |
| That Laura Loomer story was kind of a... that's her name, right? | |
| Whatever. | |
| Yes, it is. | |
| That loopy lupus story was kind of a bummer because, you know, she's taking Regeneron and is on the mend. | |
| Surely we have to have an uplifting story of someone who denied the vaccine and died. | |
| Our boy, Greg Prentiss, a Florida GOP official who hated masks and all that other good stuff, he managed to actually buy the ticket and ride the ride, dying of COVID this week. | |
| On the headline from the Daily Beast, it claims people are saying that he was illegally intubated during his treatment for the COVID, as it were, because... Illegally intubated? | |
| Because this is the thing is that these people are totally bought into the Alex Jones idea | |
| that these hospitals are just putting you on the ventilator to kill you. | |
| That the COVID itself is you're just like, you walk in the hospital, I got a little sniffle, | |
| cough in a little, you know, I could probably- Oh, he's got a coffin. | |
| But yeah, but the Alex Jones world of this is that you just go into the hospital feeling | |
| a little rundown. | |
| And then they're like, oh, no, you have COVID. | |
| Oh no, we got to put you on a ventilator! | |
| And you're like, what? | |
| No! | |
| Ah! | |
| And then they sedate you, jam the ventilator tube down your throat, hit the button, and it just explodes your lungs and you die. | |
| And then the doctors collect like $3,600 for putting you on a ventilator and killing you. | |
| Because that kind of money is what I would... I would need $3,600 to kill somebody. | |
| That's my hitman contract fee that I went to medical school for a decade for. | |
| That's like Alabama trailer park assassin money. | |
| Yes! | |
| Like, yeah, I could kill your ex-girlfriend for you. | |
| It's gonna run you about $3,500. | |
| And it's just like, wow, that's it? | |
| I mean, thank goodness. | |
| I mean, especially because I'm never going to have to pay you because you're certainly going to get caught and arrested. | |
| Remember, everyone, there are no assassins. | |
| It's always a cop. | |
| Yes. | |
| Always a cop. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And so, yeah, but I just love the idea of the entire medical industry, like you're running a hospital and you're just like, man, we need money. | |
| So it's like, how can we get money? | |
| Just kill people and the government will cut you a check. | |
| Nobody looks into it. | |
| No one's like, hey, wait a minute. | |
| Hospital, you've had this hospital over here who's not using the ventilators. | |
| Their COVID mortality rate is like 7%. | |
| You guys are using the ventilators and your mortality rate is like 45%. | |
| Can you draw any conclusions there? | |
| Nope, no idea. | |
| We're just getting the bad COVID cases, I guess. | |
| It just dems the brakes. | |
| It's just... | |
| All the people that say that he was illegally intubated, they know that he had COVID. | |
| They're just of the mind that if his breathing tube wasn't supposed to fill up with lung juice, then God wouldn't have made that happen to him. | |
| I mean, if you're to the point where they need to intubate you, it's not illegal because You're unconscious. | |
| Like, they don't typically intubate conscious people, so they had, like, the legal imperative to do it. | |
| Like, we don't even need to split hairs here. | |
| Like, once he becomes conscious, he can say, hey, take this tube out of my mouth. | |
| Except he can't, because he has a tube down his throat. | |
| So, he'll write it on an Etch-a-Sketch, because he's- He can say, oh, oh, oh, oh. | |
| Yeah. | |
| He can write it on an Etch-A-Sketch, because he's a dumb baby idiot. | |
| He's now in a coffin. | |
| I think he's saying that Biden won the election. | |
| So, the nut quote in this thing is, Friend Jason Campbell blames Tampa General Hospital for the 61-year-old's death, alleging staff illegally intubated him. | |
| My public comments are going to be about Tampa General Hospital. | |
| There's a dire situation going on right now that I don't think anyone is aware of, and I have first-hand knowledge of it. | |
| They're intubating everybody entering the hospital as a first line of action. | |
| They're using fatality treatment protocol, and I think the City Council really needs to do an investigation. | |
| When you call 911 and go to the hospital, you're going into a bad situation. | |
| Uh, yeah, sorry, yeah. | |
| Like, I think I may have, like, sprained or broke my finger playing some Ultimate out on the quad. | |
| Is there anything? | |
| Did they just shove a tube down your throat? | |
| Oh, no! | |
| No! | |
| That's just what they're doing. | |
| You walk through the doors there, there's just like a nurse practitioner sitting there just like with a tube in her hand, just like slapping it against their palm. | |
| Just like, oh, you better believe that's an intubation. | |
| Yeah, because I'm sure all these doctors and nurses and whatnot, I'm sure all these medical professionals really love having to force tubes down people's throats so that they can continue to live. | |
| Or, you know, in a lot of cases, just die anyway. | |
| So, man, what another great uplifting segment of the Reaper Roundup. | |
| Quickly becoming my favorite part of the show. | |
| We do need to get a bump for it. | |
| Anybody out there that's listening, if you have deep pockets, you're going to cut us a $3,000 check so we can pay Rudy Giuliani to do our Reaper Roundup. | |
| Until then, you're just going to have to deal with knockoff Rudy Giuliani. | |
| Man, if I write that script, it's going to get real weird. | |
| Speaking of things we have bumps for, give me that mailbag bump. | |
| Our listeners got questions. | |
| We got answers. | |
| It's time for Q&A. | |
| Okay, so it's time to hit ye old mailbag, and we open up with Jen Grant asking, and we have a million questions this week, by the way, so if we don't get to all of them, I do apologize, but Jen Grant opens by saying, Can you tell us about how the Rothschilds tie into the conspiracy death cult? | |
| The answer to that question is antisemitism. | |
| Yeah, I was like, I know the answer here. | |
| Yeah, antisemitism. | |
| Yeah, pretty much the Rothschilds were just a wealthy Jewish family, and that makes them the bad guys of just about every story. | |
| Going down the whole Jews rule the world bullshit universe, The fun thing that happened in the ancient times, back when people took religion really seriously, was that both Christians and Muslims were prohibited by their faiths from charging interests on loans, which made it so that what we call modern banking couldn't happen. | |
| So one thing led to another and the Christians and the Muslims figured out that the Jews didn't have any godly prohibitions on charging interest on loans. | |
| So they let the Jews run the banks so that they could actually have the economy work. | |
| But then they resented the Jews for running the banks because now I gotta pay these Jewish people money on this loan I took out from them. | |
| And that's bullshit! | |
| So basically the Jews got put into this job due to silly religious rules and then they were resented for being in that role after the fact. | |
| So that is pretty much kind of where the whole Jewish people are obsessed with money, they're cheap, they're rich, they have all that stuff. | |
| That's where all of that stuff came from. | |
| And then, over the course of centuries, you then had the blood libel, where Jewish people slaughtered children for their blood for their evil rituals, which became adrenochrome, etc, etc. | |
| And you also have, in the Bible, one of the books, it's either Matthew or Mark, I can never remember this off the top of my head, But in one of the books, only one of the four, Pontius Pilate is just like, yo, I ain't killing this guy. | |
| This is a you guys call. | |
| And the crowd of Jewish people that wants Jesus to be killed is like, His blood be upon us and the blood of our children. | |
| All of us, we accept blame for killing Jesus. | |
| So even in the Bible, there's just this thing where it's like the Jews are the bad guys. | |
| When that got written, Christianity was this weird offshoot of Judaism that like seven people believed in, and nobody cared about it. | |
| And the Jewish people were the big monotheistic faith of the world, even though they were very tiny, and everybody was worshiping pantheons. | |
| And then cut to like thousands of years later, and it's like, wow, that quote in the Bible is aggressively punching down. | |
| Because like Christians rule the world now, and the Jewish people are an incredibly tiny minority. | |
| All right, I'm going to cut you off on four minutes of talking about the origins of anti-Semitism, because this was about the Rothschilds. | |
| What's our next question? | |
| The next question is, Galaxy Brain asks, I want to know what happened to the packet captures. | |
| Is that all forgotten about and Dennis Montgomery has struck again? | |
| The funny thing about this is... Well, it all starts a couple of thousand years ago when the Jews killed Jesus. | |
| Yes! | |
| L's dead on. | |
| Exactly right. | |
| We're gonna do it with a comedy club and we're just gonna have a red light that we have a button for. | |
| Way over Mike's studio. | |
| I'm just... I need it. | |
| The funny thing about the packet captures is that everybody else ran away from them and everybody else was like, Dennis Montgomery's a bad dude. | |
| Don't associate with him. | |
| It was a huge mistake for Mike Lindell to do that. | |
| But when you talk to Mike Lindell about the packet captures, he's still like, solid, rock-solid evidence that I have. | |
| The whole ballgame is over once I validate these things, which I personally have already validated. | |
| I just need somebody else to believe it. | |
| But yeah, so like, Mike Lindell is the guy who refuses to acknowledge he's been catfished. | |
| Like, all of his friends are like, dude, that's not a real chick on the internet. | |
| She's just, she's just taking all your money. | |
| She said she was going to fly out to Los Angeles like three weeks ago. | |
| She never did. | |
| Get over it. | |
| You're like, no man, she's real. | |
| And I really love her. | |
| We're going to be together, man. | |
| I just got to send her another 500 bucks for rent. | |
| Years, years ago, when my father first got his Facebook, he did the thing, you know, that people do. | |
| He went and found old friends from high school and this and that. | |
| And then he goes, Sarge, Why am I getting a friend request from this woman I've never met and I have no friends in common with and I look over at his computer and I was like, that is what we call a bot and you need to just delete it. | |
| And yeah, Mike Lindell never met a bot or a catfish he didn't like. | |
| I got a message like a couple of days ago from someone who wanted to donate like $5 million to a charity and needed my help in that process. | |
| And I was just like, uh, give it to love146.org. | |
| No problem. | |
| And they were like, thank you for, cause you could just tell the bot was like, oh my God, someone engaged with me. | |
| Next line of bot script. | |
| And then I was like, okay, bot, this is no longer fun. | |
| Have you gotten the podcast scam emails yet? | |
| I have not. | |
| I told you about the BenchWordy podcast game email we got, right? | |
| They said we're number 17 in Papua New Guinea. | |
| They said BenchWordy. | |
| They were like, hey, we want to get in on the ground floor of this. | |
| You guys on BenchWordy, you're doing something. | |
| You're number 17 in Papua New Guinea. | |
| And I was like, you know, if this is fake, God bless you, so weird, and it's definitely fake. | |
| But if this is real, you know, good for us. | |
| We're big in the PNG. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah, the only reason that Mike Lindell hasn't donated any money to Nigerian princes is because he's like, Nigeria, ugh. | |
| Yeah. | |
| We here at Hellworld and BingeWorthy are excited to be big in Nigeria and Papua New Guinea. | |
| Yes! | |
| I mean, hey, we've said it on Binge Wordy before and we'll say it here. | |
| If we're blowing up in Papua New Guinea and you're one of our many listeners from there, go ahead and send us a communiqué via Twitter so we know that it was not a scam and we are, in fact, just getting crazy PNG traction. | |
| Yeah, let us know which episode you like the best. | |
| Oh boy. | |
| Oh man, that Varsity Blues episode went over so crazy in Papua New Guinea, you wouldn't even believe. | |
| They're just getting it there now. | |
| It's like Eastern Europe. | |
| Yeah, that's why we're blowing up overseas is because, like, movies to us that are 20 years old are just making it there now because of streaming. | |
| And they're just like, oh shit, there's varsity movies. | |
| They're just like, yeah, we love it. | |
| We're like, I don't want your life, remember? | |
| It's like, yeah, good for you, man. | |
| And your English is pretty good, so rock on. | |
| Anyway, next question. | |
| Heartbridge asks about the crossover appeal of Mike Liddell and Jim Baker. | |
| They also brought up the Eastman memo, which we covered. | |
| Christianity and QAnon are just peas in a pod. | |
| Q themselves, like, weaned hard on the religious aspect of this whole thing, constantly talking about how we're fighting Satan and we are on God's side and all that kind of stuff, which... It was really weird that a guy on the Chan boards could be, like, that, like, aggressively pro-Christianity and, like, still get over it, because, like, Chan boards are just, like, supposed to be, like, hardcore edgelords who are all atheists and stuff, so... | |
| It was very surprising to me that Q didn't get derided for being so aggressively about God and Jesus and all that kind of stuff. | |
| Because, again, that's usually a demographic word that doesn't play, but also that Illuminati New World Order stuff. | |
| That kind of thing is something where you do have to do the God vs. Devil paradigm to make it really pop. | |
| You have to be on the side of this one big force battling the other big force. | |
| Because otherwise, these conspiracy theories end up being kind of like Call of Cthulhu, where you're just going to lose. | |
| The bad guys are too powerful, too ancient, too evil, and you can't even win. | |
| The bad guys are the ancient spirits of evil? | |
| Does that mean Mumra is in charge of... Well, I guess Mumra worked for the Ancient Spirits of Evil, but Mumra... Yeah, he was like the Ancient Spirits of Evil's gopher. | |
| Yeah. | |
| If Mumra's here, does that mean we're going to get Mah-mut? | |
| I was thinking more along the lines of Rahmatet, but I was just... | |
| Oh, no. | |
| Gotta have MomMutt. | |
| I mean, dogs are big. | |
| Dogs are huge on the internet right now. | |
| If MumRaw had an Instagram where he just posted cute pictures of MomMutt, he would have just like 1.4 million followers. | |
| Despite the fact that every other post would just be like, can't wait to peel the flesh off of Lion-O's bones, but also look at MomMutt's cute little belly. | |
| It's just like, okay, cool. | |
| 250,000 likes in like 20 minutes. | |
| Skeletor's cat was just named Panther. | |
| That's so lame. | |
| I didn't even remember Skeletor had a cat. | |
| Wasn't it like a huge one, though? | |
| Big battle-worthy animals don't count. | |
| I like- Mama had like a tiny actual pet. | |
| Yeah, but I mean, didn't- He had a little collar and everything! | |
| Didn't Mama- Did Mama have a big evil form? | |
| Did? | |
| I mean, maybe. | |
| Like, I mean, it was a cartoon from the 80s. | |
| I'm sure if at some point they wanted to sell a big evil mama toy that they would just, like... Like, Mumra was just like, I need to capture the Sword of Omens! | |
| I need a much larger dog! | |
| And then... | |
| But for the most part, he was just like there being like, but like, this mummy's little buddy, which is like, just a ridiculous thing. | |
| Cartoons used to be so much weirder back in the day. | |
| Yeah, I'm enjoying a bunch of the new remakes because they have to address how weird these things were. | |
| And scene. | |
| Anyway, we should probably get back to our political podcast. | |
| So, TheGhostOfDipset asks, is Julian's rum gone for good, in parentheses as far as you can tell? | |
| Are there any other prominent Q posters that have just packed up and disappeared? | |
| Julian's rum apparently was busy saving the world up until he got that puppy, and now that puppy is his life, and he's just done. | |
| You did it that time! | |
| I wouldn't say that I've seen any major QAnon promoters leave, but I have seen a bunch of them take time off, not really post a lot anymore. | |
| One guy I love kicking around, Beer at the Parade, That guy shows up once a month now. | |
| Joe M., who was the biggest promoter back in the day, he makes posts once a month being like, Friends! | |
| We have turned the tide! | |
| Joe M. is the most overwrought, melodramatic diva you could ever imagine, and it's just so obvious how much of a tryhard he is of all the stuff he writes. | |
| Now that like the forward momentum of Trump and actually anything ever happening is gone, he just doesn't have it in him to do the daily grind. | |
| Like literally he just like shows up like once a month, tries to write us a really inspiring stem winder, and then just calls it a day. | |
| So I think that like really what you see from it is the people that are making money off this shit, they ain't going anywhere. | |
| The people that are just getting like the internet fame from it, It becomes a work. | |
| It becomes an actual kind of job you're not getting paid for, and you're not getting that lib owning that you were so totally in favor of. | |
| Now you have to watch Grandpa Joe on the television talking about stuff. | |
| They need to suck it up, Buttercup. | |
| We ain't getting paid for this. | |
| We just talking to cans to each other every week for over a year. | |
| We're not making a dime off of this. | |
| Don't sell us that short. | |
| We do have some wonderful, beautifuller babies that are throwing some money into our proverbial hat. | |
| We're making several dimes off of this. | |
| Yeah, we're getting paid a tiny amount, which we reinvest almost exclusively into equipment to try to make the podcast sound less like shit. | |
| We do. | |
| We appreciate it. | |
| We'll get to that, because we hit a milestone. | |
| Yes. | |
| Elizabeth asks, I just started listening and would like to know more about, what I'd like to know about is, who are the QA influencers, so many from other countries, and what happened to them? | |
| The HBO documentary covered a lot of it, so it feels unfinished. | |
| Also, can Jim or Ron be brought up on charges? | |
| I don't think they can actually be brought up on charges, because one of the things that QAnon... Oh, they can be brought up on fashion charges. | |
| Have you seen that hat? | |
| Have you seen that fucking mustache? | |
| At some point, RuPaul's Gestapo is going to fucking drag them fools away and you're never going to see them again. | |
| I don't, like, I really don't think that, like, they can really... One of the things they loved to say was that QAnon never promotes violence. | |
| Q never promoted violence. | |
| And that's one of the things that's really kind of true is that Q always kind of said, you know, we're going to arrest these people and bring them in the military tribunals and all that other stuff. | |
| Q never told anybody to go out and shoot anyone or do anything like that. | |
| Yeah, he just winked and nodded at the camera. | |
| Q was like, look, you guys want all the liberals to be killed, and at some ill-defined point in the near future, I will kill all the liberals for you, but I will do it legally and above board, so please do not go out there and violently kill the liberals yourselves. | |
| Just trust that the liberal killing will happen in the near future by my hand. | |
| So that, I mean, and that's like really like weird and sick and stupid, but that was the mentality. | |
| And like Q made a bunch of posts about how we got to do this according to the law. | |
| We got to have the evidence. | |
| We got to have it all holed up. | |
| And it's funny how no one ever holds Q to the standards that Q held themselves to. | |
| Like no one, like no one's ever like, okay Q, when are you going to bring that lawsuit, the rock solid evidence that's going to just tie this whole thing together. | |
| And so. | |
| That is that's just I mean he put how much clearer could he make it He posted that video about we're not gonna take it and it obviously meant that he wasn't gonna take it to court He gave up Ultimate Q-proof! | |
| Pretty soon we're going to be coming up on the one-year anniversary of Q-fucking-all-the-way-off. | |
| It's great. | |
| Is that next month or November? | |
| December. | |
| Damn it. | |
| Yeah, it's coming to the back half of the year, but we're creeping up on it. | |
| We're going to get one-year anniversary of Q-fucking-off into January and February's PlayStation 5 releases that everyone is looking forward to, despite the fact nobody can find a PS5. | |
| Everyone's just like, I can't wait for the one year anniversary of Q-Fucking-Off and also the new Horizon Zero Dawn game. | |
| No one gets to play. | |
| Yeah, we'll have to do something actual special for Q-Fucking-Off for a year. | |
| I don't know what yet. | |
| We got some time to brainstorm that. | |
| Maybe we can make Mike Rades go through and find the juiciest, cherriest Q-Drops. | |
| We could do a vintage Adventures in Hell where we do a little post-mortem on some Q-Drops. | |
| It's been a while. | |
| Oh, I'm absolutely down for that. | |
| Don't threaten me of a good time. | |
| So, uh, yeah. | |
| As for, like, where QAnon promoters are at the moment, I mean, there's just so many of them, it would be really hard to really get into depth on that, so... | |
| Maybe I'll try to, like, come up with, like, a Grifter of the Week segment or something where we talk about, like, some random guy or gal who's been scamming people for money and what they're doing, what their operation is. | |
| But until then, I'll have to put a pin in this question because I'll talk way too much about it, and sorry to hit you with the red light. | |
| But before I start chit-chatting with the red light, a spinoff question that we don't need to spend too much time on, but honest question. | |
| Do you think there are QAnon-specific or even QAnon-adjacent OnlyFans sites? | |
| Go. | |
| I would have to say yes. | |
| I haven't seen them, but that seems like a niche that would absolutely have something to be fulfilled. | |
| I had talked about it previously, about that crazy guy, Chief Police 2, who literally had a Patreon that was getting $5,000 a month, where he was just publishing a kill list of enemies of Q that had been arrested, cloned, assassinated, or tried for their crimes. | |
| And people just needed that list like blood. | |
| I think if you had a list of people Q has secretly executed, plus some level of nudity from an attractive lady, you could really bring in the bucks. | |
| A online dating advice article from two years ago, and it has the 13 best free conservative dating sites. | |
| Dog, I'm not looking to date. | |
| Match.com. | |
| I want to see a sexy, probably blonde, probably white lady, in a MAGA hat, showing me the goods, because where we come one, we come all. | |
| Christian Mingle. | |
| Christian Mingle's probably your best bet, conservative only. | |
| I can't believe Sarge just crushed that joke. | |
| That was actual gold, El. | |
| That was actual gold. | |
| I've known Sarge for long enough where it doesn't matter how good or bad my jokes are, Sarge just has a one-track mind. | |
| They're just plowing through them. | |
| So, whatever. | |
| But yes, dear listeners, if you're out there and you know of the precious QAnon-focused OnlyFans account that we are talking about, Go ahead and drop us a little linkyloo on the Twitter. | |
| We will use your Patreon money for that. | |
| Yes. | |
| You will know that three men will be jerking off thanks to your contributions. | |
| I'm so glad we've gone down this dark road. | |
| Reverend Xenofact asks, do you see any boundaries between the GOP, QAnon, anti-vax, and the Kraken style conspiracy theories? | |
| Because I ain't seeing much light between these things. | |
| This is the problem for the Republican Party, is that all of the other things you listed are one thing. | |
| Because QAnon is what I call a grand unifying conspiracy theory, where if you believe in any bullshit, QAnon pulls you into the crowd and you're not part of the crowd. | |
| 9-11, QAnon. | |
| JFK, QAnon. | |
| Chemtrails, QAnon. | |
| Anything. | |
| Oh, you didn't know Bigfoot totally pilled? | |
| Right, exactly! | |
| You wouldn't even know. | |
| Bigfoot fucking hates Hillary. | |
| Yes. | |
| Bigfoot is an extra-dimensional being who has come here to pill you. | |
| Yeah, Bigfoot has the Hillary face carving video in his cave. | |
| So when we find Bigfoot, we will finally have the evidence of Hillary flaying that young girl and drinking her blood of Huma Abedin. | |
| So we will finally be saved once we obtain Bigfoot. | |
| Mothman? | |
| Super liberal. | |
| He's on our side. | |
| You know? | |
| Even from West Virginia, he rose above growing up in West Virginia, super liberal. | |
| He's very woke. | |
| Yeah, I mean, Mothman, you know, he doesn't like Manchin, but he knows that we're not getting another Democrat in the seat. | |
| So it is what it is. | |
| He holds his nose and votes for him. | |
| That's just the way it works. | |
| Have you guys read Mothman's blog? | |
| That dude, he makes some pretty fucking good points. | |
| No, I'm a mod on his subreddit. | |
| You know, we butt heads when it comes to whether or not we should be, like, you know, supporting Bernie, because, like, I still think that Bernie can't win the election, but Mothman, you know, he's fucking progressive, that boy. | |
| Woke Mothman is now the greatest invention of this podcast. | |
| I'm all in on it. | |
| At some point, when we need to make merch, we're going to dig through the back catalogue in our minds and remember that we did a bit about Woke Mothman. | |
| We're just going to have a Mothman with fucking tweed patches on his jacket, just like a fucking Ride With Biden bumper sticker or whatever, just hanging out. | |
| That's going to be a shirt we sell. | |
| It's going to be great. | |
| Our Discord server is going to be weird if we ever do one of those. | |
| But the GOP, the problem for them is that this is a section of their base, I don't know how big it is, but that they have no way to really argue against. | |
| They can't tell these people, get vaccinated. | |
| Hillary Clinton doesn't drink the blood of children. | |
| The election wasn't stolen. | |
| In 2016, Donald Trump literally won the Republican nomination for president by saying, I can make Mexico pay for a wall that we are going to build, that they don't want. | |
| I'm going to tell you a pleasing lie, an absolute nonsense fantasy. | |
| And the Republican primary voters were like, yes, I enjoy your dumb fantasy, Donald Trump. | |
| I will vote for you. | |
| And none of the people running against Trump could be like, yo, look, like Trump actually can't do that. | |
| He can't build a wall and he can't make Mexico pay for it. | |
| It's bullshit. | |
| He's fucking lying to you. | |
| No one could say that and win votes. | |
| Like just literally aggressively lying about the dumbest possible shit is how you win a Republican primary now. | |
| So the Republican Party is totally fucked in that sense that they're just untethered from reality. | |
| And they're only making their base more crazy as time goes on. | |
| My final little point on this is that in 2008, when McCain was running against Obama, and some old lady in the crowd was just like, Hey, John McCain, Obama's a Muslim! | |
| And McCain was like, No, he isn't. | |
| He's a good dude. | |
| I've hung out with Senator Obama. | |
| He's a great man. | |
| And the crowd was just like, No! | |
| Boo! | |
| The crowd wanted McCain to say Obama was a Muslim. | |
| Republicans have been just brainwormed for so long. | |
| And then Donald Trump came along and was like, I will flatter your brainworms. | |
| I will humor them. | |
| I will tell you whatever your brainworms want to hear to get your vote. | |
| And the brain worm primary voter voted overwhelmingly in favor of Trump. | |
| And that's just where one of our two major political parties in America are now. | |
| It's because the chupacabras work for the cartels and they are letting all the rapists into our country. | |
| And they, where do you think Trump got that from? | |
| Chupacabras. | |
| Yeah, and the Loch Ness Monster, surprisingly, fake. | |
| I mean, it's... I mean, think about it. | |
| How can an animal that big just live in the loch? | |
| I mean, get real. | |
| There's no way! | |
| There's no way! | |
| Just get real. | |
| What is it eating? | |
| Thanks for the question. | |
| Yeah, Scotsman. | |
| Thanks for the question. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Scotsman. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, uh, again, I apologize that we had a million questions this week. | |
| So if we didn't get to your question this week, this week, next week, | |
| get your question in sooner. | |
| Because literally when I posted the thread, I had one question for like five hours, and then suddenly everyone was like, boom, question time! | |
| Let's just drench the podcast in questions. | |
| Well, Mike, how about you stop burning podcast time apologizing and just ask another question? | |
| Okay, well, I'm gonna just ask our question to Numerous, which is, what are you guys looking forward to? | |
| I started, but have not finished... God, I can't even remember what it's actually... Is it Visions? | |
| Star Wars Visions? | |
| Is that what it is? | |
| The little anime Star Wars mini-episodes thing. | |
| They dropped the whole kit and caboodle for it on Disney Plus today. | |
| I'm not the biggest Star Wars fan, or the biggest weeb, but I do think that's a pretty cool intersection of stuff. | |
| So, I watched the first few episodes, and I think a couple of them were pretty good, and I'm looking forward to watching the rest of them. | |
| And also, tomorrow, I believe, some friends and I are getting together to start the slightly longer-than-a-month-long tradition of getting together to watch spooky movies, because it's spooky season. | |
| And I'm going to have another opportunity to watch some all-time classics, like Hellraiser and The Fly, the 1985 version or whatever. | |
| And Sarge, what do you got on tap? | |
| I started playing, for the first time in forever, an actual honest-to-god point-and-click adventure game, a la kind of like King's Quest and stuff. | |
| There's a new one out called Unavowed. | |
| I actually think it's been out for a year or two. | |
| It's new, it's fully voiced, and I'm having a ton of fun. I forgot how much I enjoyed those | |
| things. I played a bunch as a kid and I quit Magic the Gathering, Cold Turkey, because | |
| instead of playing new games or other things, I would just sign on to it online. So I quit that | |
| and I've actually played two new games already and I've enjoyed them both. | |
| The other one is Gears Tactics, and that's been a lot of fun. | |
| But I played an Honest God point-and-click adventure game, and it's been a blast. | |
| I got to electrify a weird monster elemental thing with stuff I found out of a dumpster, and before I figured out how to do that, it ate my character's face off every time I approached it. | |
| You should try Kentucky Route Zero once you're done with Unavowed. | |
| I've heard that it's sort of like, it's got that sort of old school adventure style sort of theme, but it was like a critical darling back when it came out. | |
| I remember hearing about it. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, like the complete edition is available even on the Switch at this point. | |
| So it's like super easy to pick up and play. | |
| I haven't played it yet, but it's been on my radar of things I could potentially purchase and tuck into. | |
| So if you're going to go down, that's our rabbit hole. | |
| You should play Kentucky Route Zero. | |
| Tell me how it is. | |
| I will do that. | |
| And I'll check back in with you guys on Unavowed because I haven't played a ton, but I've had a lot of fun so far. | |
| So for me, I'm on vacation this week for the first time in forever. | |
| I'm just going to crank up the air conditioning in my house and just live in an igloo for a week and just enjoy not having to deal with the outside world. | |
| actually having a weekend off for the first time in like forever because when you work | |
| in the casino industry, you're working when everybody else isn't working. | |
| So I actually get to watch the UFC pay-per-view this week. | |
| I don't have to worry about working during football. | |
| So I will now extend an invite to El if he wants to go to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch | |
| football on Sunday. | |
| That's a possibility. | |
| Just actually having some free time when the rest of the world has free time is just going | |
| to be very fun and exciting for me. | |
| And I will also probably be finishing up Hades. | |
| I think I've made it out of hell eight or so times now, and I've been told you gotta get out ten times before you kind of complete the main story, as it were. | |
| Ten is indeed the story. | |
| Yeah, the kids call it triggering credits at this point. | |
| Doesn't necessarily mean it's the full end of the game, but it does give you the credit roll. | |
| Aha! | |
| Sounds cool. | |
| I cannot wait to see the credits. | |
| Have you unlocked any of the additional legendary weapons? | |
| I have unlocked the aspect of the spear. | |
| I can't remember the name of that. | |
| And I just unlocked the sword. | |
| Quan Yu? | |
| Yeah, Quan Yu. | |
| I've unlocked the sword of Arthur now. | |
| Nice. | |
| I won't tell you the other ones. | |
| I remember Chaos told me the... I haven't talked to the shield, but Chaos told me the unlocking for the shield, but I haven't spoken to it yet because I just forgot to do so. | |
| And I already told him the secret aspect name for the adamant rail, so. | |
| Oh yeah, the aspect of Lucifer sounds so awesome, I can't wait. | |
| It is weird to use. | |
| Check back with me. | |
| Me and El hit Hades real hard, and we're actually... El had a higher score than me, but I think I had the fastest time. | |
| And then... I don't know who had the highest heat. | |
| Yeah, I think I jacked out around 14, between 14 and 18 heat. | |
| I can't remember exactly how much. | |
| I got the first statue, which I don't remember how much heat that is. | |
| So anyway, that's enough Hades talk for one go around. | |
| Hades Corner! | |
| Yeah, and with that, it's time for us to all lace up our roller skates and for me to lead our Midnight Express or up out of Hellworld, or Starlight Express, not Midnight Express, damn it! | |
| Get it together, pay the price. | |
| Yeah, I mean, sorry, I'm just not that hip on my failed musicals from 1984 or whatever, so I sort of biffed that reference. | |
| Anyway, time to skate out of here. | |
| Thank you all so much for listening. | |
| It is time for a little bit of shilling, but I will try to make it as painless as possible. | |
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| As always, I have been your host HellWorldL, signing off for HellWorldSarge and our expert in all things QAnon, Mr. Mike Rains. |