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Jan. 7, 1999 - Art Bell

02:45:31

Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell - Dates from Hell - Open Lines

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	Welcome to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight, featuring Coast to Coast AM, from January 7, 1999.
	From the high desert, and the great American Southwest, I bid you all good evening, or good morning, as the case may be, and welcome to yet another edition of Weird.
	From the Hawaiian and Tahitian Islands out west, eastward to the Caribbean and the U.S.
	Virgin Islands, south into South America, north all the way to the bowl, and worldwide on the internet, this is Coast to Coast AM, and I'm Art Bell.
	And tonight is going to be all open lines.
	Now I may establish one special line that I would like to have some fun with.
	Tomorrow night will be the exact opposite.
	It will be totally guest-driven.
	Tomorrow night, Disclosure 99.
	And boy, are we going to have a lineup for you.
	Stephen Bassett, the only UFO lawyer, so named.
	UFO... See, I'm getting them confused already.
	UFO lobbyist in Washington, D.C.
	Joseph Firmage, the gazillionaire who had a lot to do with the release of the MJ-12 documents.
	Dr. Stephen Greer, and I know a lot of you want to hear from Dr. Stephen Greer again.
	Richard C. Hoagland, Peter Gersten, William J. Burns, James, and I still can't pronounce James' last name, but he has something to do with the Society for Planetary Study Research, and Jim Mars.
	So, as you can see, it's going to be a very, very full night.
	As a matter of fact, very full.
	Now, let's see what's in the news.
	Well, the entire Senate is due to go behind closed doors Friday morning to try and hash out impeachment trial details.
	I wonder if they'll do it faster work when the cameras are off.
	On Thursday, with Chief Justice William Rehnquist presiding, the Senate somberly placed William Jefferson Clinton on trial for high crimes and misdemeanors, the first presidential impeachment in 131 years.
	The White House is promising a compelling case for acquittal.
	I wonder who their lawyer will be.
	Who does Clinton need as a lawyer?
	Something about the dress fitting.
	Anyway, let's see, what else?
	Are we, is the U.S.
	doing a little bit of spy work with the U.N.?
	With regard to Iraq?
	There is some indication that Richard Butler, you know, Unscum's guy, thinks that the U.S.
	might have been, had their fingers In what the UN's been doing somehow, and I wonder if that could be true.
	Sure, that could be true.
	Sure it could.
	By the way, back on the subject of the President for just a moment.
	Someone just sent me the following.
	Hey Art, I predict for 1999 that if President Clinton does get thrown out of office, his approval rating will go to 100%.
	We were talking about intelligent vegetables last night, you recall?
	Or vegetables with consciousness?
	Or plants with consciousness?
	And that, of course, inevitably leads to a discussion of what vegetarians eat.
	And, from Atlanta, Georgia, somebody writes the following, I'm a vegetarian not because I love animals, but because I hate vegetables.
	That's an email.
	Somebody also sent me, Now this one strikes close to home.
	Nevada Power Company.
	A letter from, you know, I get all these Power Company letters.
	Everybody's writing to them.
	And I mean everybody, because listen to this.
	Nevada Power answers to this user.
	We are in receipt of your recent letter regarding the year 2000 readiness of Nevada Power Company.
	Due to numerous inquiries received daily, we are Unable to respond to individual questions.
	Whenever possible, frequently asked questions will be addressed on the Internet site.
	Website address listed below.
	And they go on to say that, of course, they've implemented a program to identify correct application and systems related 2000 issues some time ago.
	And we fully expect the company, this company anyway, it says, We'll identify date-related issues in our software, hardware, and databases, including embedded processor systems, if any, which could impact the products and services you purchase.
	Now, they do mention the possibility of unforeseen events.
	Though they don't anticipate any power outages, they say there could be unforeseen events.
	So, none of these letters they ever get back, except maybe from Social Security, because they claim they're compliant, right?
	Ever say, don't, not to worry, we have it all under control, it's fixed.
	The only one saying that now, as far as I know, would be Social Security.
	And even they can't tell you where you would cash the check.
	Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA, officials are urging the emergency management fire and emergency services communities and the public to hurry up and get ready for Y2K.
	They say it is very important that counties, municipalities, school districts, and other organizations that have not yet begun work on Y2K start now.
	That was Mike Walker, the FEMA Deputy Director.
	And so, while they say they too don't think there will be big problems, they admit there will be some things that could happen that could actually turn into big problems.
	Remember El Nino?
	It went away, right?
	Well, maybe not.
	Here's a brand new story indicating That ocean temperatures are giving scientists insights into El Nino's impact, and while they thought it was going away, they apparently still see signs that El Nino is here.
	Quoting, yet El Nino's unexpected reluctance to depart reminds scientists they still have a lot to learn about our planet's most important short-term climate oscillation.
	So, this comes from the Christian Science Monitor, by the way, San Francisco.
	The greatest El Nino of the century ended abruptly six months ago, or did it?
	Because satellite data is now suggesting that recovery from the record-breaking warmth that spread across the equatorial Pacific and disrupted worldwide weather has stalled.
	According to the Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena, the JPL report added a cautionary note to El Nino researchers' discussions during last month's meeting.
	So, in other words, boiled down to the bottom, it's still out there.
	Here's one from ABCnews.com.
	Asking, why are we confident that our sun will burn reliably for yet a few billion more years?
	Some sun-like stars have hiccuped.
	Now, what do you think that means?
	Hiccuping.
	A hiccuping star.
	Occasionally spewing out a burst of light so bright that it would melt ice on the moons of Saturn.
	Now, think about that.
	Says a Yale University astronomer, Bradley Schaefer, they are very huge flares.
	I'm calling them super flares.
	You start looking at the underlying star and you find they are really disturbingly similar to our Sun.
	As in other words, at any moment, with no warning, here's a scientist at Yale saying there could be a super flare.
	That of course, obviously, were we to be hit with it.
	That would be an Ellie, as I said in contact.
	An Ellie.
	Life extinguishing event.
	And though I never said that I was going to read another one of these, I can't help myself.
	Someone sent me this earlier.
	A blonde...
	Was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
	She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, in the worst way, but was reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
	After becoming frustrated with the no-haggle attitude of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, I'll just go out and Catch me own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price.
	Well, the shopkeeper said, by all means, be my guest.
	Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one.
	So, more determined than ever, our blonde turns and heads for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
	Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home when he spotted the woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
	The old shotgun.
	Just then comes a huge nine-foot alligator swimming rapidly toward her.
	She takes aim, kills the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauls it up onto the bank.
	Lying nearby were several more dead alligators.
	Shopkeeper watched in amazement as she flipped the alligator on its back and frustrated shouted out
	dammit this one is wearing any shoes either that does not mean that i'm starting or soliciting a new
	round of blonde jokes Peace.
	It just means, because you know what happened?
	I started getting, I found out there weren't any new blonde jokes.
	I got all the best ones, and then they, you know, all I got was recycling of old ones, but this was a new one, so I couldn't resist.
	Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either.
	Alright, listen.
	It's all open lines tonight.
	That means anything you want to talk about.
	However, I am going to open one special line, and it will be what is normally known as my first time caller line.
	And I intend to call it The Date From Hell Line.
	Now, I haven't dated in about a million years, so I wouldn't know.
	I can recall many years ago some hellish dates.
	Boy, I'll tell you, there can be hellish dates.
	Dates where Well, here's an example that I think everybody could probably get next to.
	You know, have you ever had somebody walk in the room?
	And the moment they walk in the room, you know you hate them.
	They are the wrong kind of person for you.
	I mean, you just take an instant, absolute, inexplicable dislike to everything about them.
	They like the way they look.
	The way they sound, don't like what they say, don't like their personality.
	You know, slugs of human beings, wastes of flesh and stuff.
	Can you imagine being stuck with a person like that on a blind date?
	Yeah, that happened to me a couple of times.
	It's horrible.
	Absolutely horrible.
	Anyway, so I thought that'd be fun.
	So I hereby, until I get tired of it, appropriate my first time caller line.
	First time caller line.
	Everybody else hang up.
	Shall now be my date from hell line.
	It's giving equal opportunity to men and women calling in.
	And then there's even the more subtle date from hell.
	When you begin finding out about the person, you find out you have absolutely nothing in common.
	Everything you love, she hates.
	Everything she loves, you hate.
	And yet you are now companioned with this person for the better part of a terrible evening.
	And then, of course, there are disasters that occur during even a good date.
	Sometimes real disasters.
	Anyway, that's what that line is going to be tonight, and we will be back with open lines in a moment.
	I had a really interesting conversation with Larry King earlier today on the phone.
	Mmm.
	Maybe, maybe, I'm going to go on Larry King's show.
	Larry King did this program, you know, prior... Well, he didn't do this program.
	He did a late-night program for years and years and years and years, and we have a lot in common.
	And we would like to talk about that.
	I think that might be fun.
	So I'm contemplating that.
	Larry King Live.
	But I think that what I'm going to do is say, well, I'll go there if you'll come on my show and be You know, do a guest thing on my show.
	Now, how many years has it been since he's been back on nighttime radio?
	Be kind of fun to get him here to interview him.
	Turn the tables.
	That's what I've been thinking about today.
	Since earlier when I talked with him, it was very nice chat, but I thought maybe that would be fun.
	What do you think?
	Say, sure, I'll do it if you'll come on my show.
	And like talk to callers.
	Open line.
	No holes barred.
	That'd be fun.
	So, I'm thinking about that.
	On my date from hell line, you're on the air.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hi there.
	Where are you?
	I'm Steve.
	Well, that's who you are.
	Where are you?
	Las Vegas.
	Las Vegas.
	Over the hill.
	Yeah.
	Alright.
	Have you ever had a date from hell?
	A date from hell?
	Yeah.
	Steve, turn your radio off.
	Otherwise, this will turn into the call from hell.
	Yeah, like I was saying, it's kind of a semantic thing.
	When people think date from hell, it's like, in my case being a male, it would be her.
	She was the date from hell.
	But most of the dates from hell that I've had were because coming up when you're younger, dating you because I didn't know what to do.
	I didn't know what to say and you're exploring the whole thing.
	It can be a real nightmare.
	That is hellish.
	You're just sitting there agonizing.
	What do I say?
	I know, I know.
	And the longer you sit there not knowing what to say, she's probably sitting there thinking to herself, what's with this guy?
	And she goes back to her friends and then I'm the date from hell.
	And probably the worst one was one time a David Bowie concert.
	David Bowie?
	Dad's car.
	Yeah.
	Everything's going fine.
	Yeah.
	Get to the gate.
	Forgot the tickets.
	Oh, man.
	So I just, that's the point I had to make, that the date from Helican.
	How did, I mean, when, did you both get up there and realize at that point you didn't have the tickets?
	I, it was like one of those things where you go for your wallet and it's like all of a sudden a boat, lightning boat hits you and it's like, my God.
	How, Pray tell, how did you break that to her?
	And how did she take it?
	She was a trooper.
	Jumped back in Dad Chevelle, raced back to the house, got the tickets, came back, missed the opening act.
	You know, it ended up pretty good, but the whole point I'm making is a date from hell.
	Doesn't necessarily mean that the... Well, you know what it really means?
	It means that hell, even the one down there with the fire and all that, is probably of our own making.
	I gotta run.
	The hell on earth thing.
	You got it.
	Absolutely.
	See ya.
	Bye-bye.
	This is Coast to Coast AM.
	You're listening to Art Bell's Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring a replay of Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
	Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
	Summer Lovin' Summer lovin' had me a blast
	Summer lovin' happened so fast I met a girl crazy for me
	Met a boy who shoot it for me Summer days driftin' away
	I met a boy who I love so much Tell me more, tell me more
	Did you get married far?
	Tell me more, tell me more What does he have it for?
	Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha She's the bomb, she got a crown
	He got one for them To save the life of the shimmering town
	He showed off the flashing mirror Saw the sun, saw him peek out
	Brought up a vista on her back Well oh well oh well oh well
	Tell me more, tell me more What's the song you're singing
	Tell me more, tell me more It's a good old buck for ya
	Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh To the bowling in the Octavia
	We were strong, traveling in You made out to the heart of the town
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time, on Premier Radio Networks.
	Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM, from January 7th, 1999.
	Once again, here I am, and we are doing the Date from Hell line.
	Do you talk about your dates when you're a teen?
	Or do you, if you are one?
	Is that done these days?
	I wouldn't know.
	On my date from outlying, you're on the air.
	Hey Art, a blind date from hell.
	It's a double blind date from hell.
	A double blind date from hell?
	Yes, my friend and I had season tickets at the Denver Nuggets the last year they went to the playoffs.
	Oh, I take it you're calling from Denver.
	Denver, right.
	I'm Bob.
	And by the way, they settled the strike, huh?
	Yeah, 52 game season.
	What a bummer.
	I'm not going to go.
	Across the aisle from us the whole season was two other season ticket holders, two women, two lesbians.
	I couldn't show up to the game one night.
	My friend brought a girlfriend and in those two seats they had given their tickets to two friends and he told me, we were looking for wives.
	And he told me that there were two gorgeous women in those seats.
	And so I said, well, did you set us up a double date?
	And he said, no, I couldn't.
	I was with a date.
	So the next game, the two lesbians were back.
	And I told him I was going to set us up a date, and he didn't believe me, so I went over and talked to them.
	And sure enough, they had given their tickets to two girls they knew who were straight.
	And I asked them if we could get their phone numbers and sure enough they checked and the next game we got the numbers and we set up a double date.
	And that night I happened to be on a Denver TV show the night before our double date.
	Really?
	And the issue was homosexuality and I have to say I'm not very pro-homosexuality and we were talking about a homosexual who died That week in the news, in the bumper music we used, was Freddie Mercury singing Another One Bites the Dust.
	Well, that's not really very funny.
	No, it's not funny at all.
	And that whole, that's the eighth anthem, that song, because the whole point of that song, he was saying, people do things, and people get killed, and we should change our behavior so people don't die needlessly.
	Yeah, I gotcha.
	You know, I've got to say this.
	I'm thankful, really thankful, that I'm not dating now.
	When I was young, you could do stupid things, but you couldn't die.
	You weren't going to die.
	You know, you might have to make a visit to the clinic or something.
	The sentence for sex was not death.
	And that's really too bad, isn't it?
	That's one of the things you have to be concerned about today.
	Is getting a deadly disease.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi, Art Bell.
	Yes.
	Good morning.
	Good morning.
	This is Greg in St.
	Louis on the Big 550 KTRS.
	I was wondering, I was looking on the website yesterday and I saw the transcript of the conversation with Hoagland and I think it was an unidentified source in the military about some kind of a strategic strike that was Oh, no, no, no.
	It was a letter that I read.
	That's a transcript that you read, yes.
	Is there anything to that, do you think?
	Yes, I think there is.
	Does he mean a nuclear strike?
	I don't think so, no.
	Okay, and one other thing.
	I sent you a letter a few weeks ago.
	I know you get tons of mail, but I had an idea for a deep space project that might help us modify the climate.
	Did you ever notice that in your mail?
	Um, no.
	What would it do?
	Well, it would be like a large, well, it's kind of hard to explain in a short amount of time, but it would be a lightweight square orbiting about maybe four times the distance out from the moon.
	And it would be divided up into sectors with like Venetian blinds over it.
	Would filter out the ultraviolet and then could control the, you know, the sunlight going through so that we could... You mean, you mean a sun filter for the Earth?
	Right.
	I exactly get what you're saying.
	It would certainly modify our climate alright.
	It could bring on another ice age or... Well, if we, you know, wanted to warm up a spot where moisture would be going up in the atmosphere to carry it over to make rain where we needed it, for example.
	Yeah, but, but, but, but, sir.
	There's a big but here.
	Soho, the satellite they've got monitoring our sun right now, has been on and off and on and off, fixed and broken, fixed and broken, fixed and broken.
	And, if we had something out there, I see exactly what you're saying, that would, if you put it out at the right distance, it would literally shade the entire Earth, or filter out whatever you want to filter out.
	Well, it would be divided, wouldn't it?
	No, I know, I've got you.
	Quadrants.
	Quadrants, yeah, depending on the quadrant.
	Let's see, the problem is that, what if it broke, with the shades closed?
	Well, I was figuring that we'd probably have to have a permanent crew of several people to maintain it out there.
	They'd have to rotate in and out.
	I see.
	So it would be a manned affair.
	Yeah.
	Actually, that's kind of an intriguing idea.
	Thank you.
	At first blush, it sounds crazy, but why, really?
	Think about what the man said.
	He said, you've got a spacecraft out there far enough.
	Just the right distance between the Earth and the Sun, some number of moon lengths from the Earth, and you literally at that point filter all light that would be moving toward the Earth in the way you desired, and that really actually might work.
	What do I know?
	I'm just a talk show host, but it might work.
	It's just one of those things that I don't think I would trust.
	I really don't think I would trust it.
	Could that be done?
	Is there any physicist in the audience who could tell me if that would actually be possible?
	It does seem like it would be possible.
	On the date from hell line, you're on the air.
	Hello, is this Art Bell?
	This is me, yes.
	Oh, should I turn down my radio?
	Turn it off, actually.
	Uh, it's important to do that, folks, otherwise it's confusing because you'll hear yourself delayed.
	Hello, Mr. Bell.
	Hello.
	I'm calling you because, of course, you have a fascinating show and you, you, I feel you're a very informed man because of your unique situation.
	And I have a, I have a specific question for you.
	Okay.
	Over the last several months, many, um, Yes, you're right.
	netbox have been soaring into the stratosphere you bet he uh... each
	accumulating values of into the billions and well they've all you know but they've
	also been volatile as you've been watching them uh... and when the market
	is not doing so well uh... the internet stocks tend to be
	uh... the first go uh... yes you're right
	but i was wondering um... what you thought or if you had any other list is
	that will be a landslide question from a legal point of view
	eventually like for example amazon dot com which has yet to see a dollar in profit
	and in their losses are mounting i was wondering what would happen well god
	forbid one day these uh...
	the day of reckoning came in basically these stocks crashed and taking with you know and taking with them maybe trillions
	of dollars in pent-up investor hopes and dreams
	Would the brokerages that have been recommending them week after week through publicity be legally and morally responsible for the aftermath?
	Not at all.
	Not at all.
	Caveat emptor.
	Oh, okay.
	I mean, come on now.
	Any stock, even coming to Las Vegas here near me, caveat emptor.
	Buyer beware, right?
	Buyer beware.
	So, you know, you're rolling dice.
	The stock market is not a hell of a lot different than Las Vegas, so... You're right, it's very close now.
	Exactly.
	Alright, thank you.
	Actually, it's extremely close.
	When you talk about some of the newer schemes for the market.
	It's just like Vegas.
	I'm still thinking about that satellite idea.
	You could control the amount of ultraviolet getting through.
	You could make a shadowy day.
	Make it cooler, make it warmer.
	No, you couldn't make it warmer.
	Unless you had a giant magnifying glass.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Good morning, Art.
	Good morning.
	This is James Cullen from near Atlanta, Georgia, listening to you on 640 AM, 105.7 News Radio, WGST.
	That's the way to do a promo.
	Yes, it just so happened, before I get to my point, I'm just having a pull on my old Grease album from the 70's I got for my birthday, and I've got the complete soundtrack album.
	Yes, so do I. If you could please play that Frankie Valli tune again, the Grease theme.
	The title tune?
	Yes, my question, got me out of bed yesterday morning, I was listening to the radio and I don't know if you've heard the story that there's a report out of Southern California in Orange County that there have been fire ants reported.
	I don't know if you've heard anything about that yet.
	Yeah, I've heard about that.
	Fire ants.
	They had a big write-up in the USA Today article last month about it and I was kind of astonished because I just moved here from Southern California for the last few months ago.
	Down here in the South, fire ants just peripherate everywhere.
	They cover about They cover about the whole region down here.
	You can't miss them hardly what especially at the summertime whether you're on your front lawn or on the grass somewhere.
	They're just all over the place.
	They kill animals pretty rapidly at times too.
	They really are big menace down here.
	I've had a few, thank you, encounters with fire ants.
	The fire ants are really bad.
	And if you step in the wrong place, you can have fire ants At about crotch level in, I don't know, a minute and a half.
	And it's pretty exciting.
	For a while.
	I mean, it's really horrible.
	If you get in the wrong place... I did that a couple of times.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello?
	You see, Mr. Bell, I have a way to bypass all your callers.
	No, you don't.
	Yes, I do!
	It's Tommy from Brooklyn.
	Hey, Tommy.
	You know I do.
	I have the secret power.
	I have the secret button.
	Maybe.
	Do you know your first time call line?
	Yes.
	When you get sick of it, could you do me one favor, please?
	And I'll leave you alone for like a week.
	What?
	Could you make it the Curtis Lewa supporter or non-supporter line?
	Just to see how many of your listeners support or don't support Curtis Lewa.
	Here's an important thing, though.
	Why do I care?
	I do.
	I know, but why?
	I didn't expect you to care.
	But why?
	I just want to know.
	But I mean, why do you care?
	I'm curious to see.
	Well, why doesn't Curtis run that?
	He does.
	He does?
	Yeah.
	The Curtis Lee support line he has?
	No, he has the Odd Bell support line.
	He does?
	Yeah.
	When's Curtis making his move to the mornings?
	I want his first hour.
	now they destroy every night's i was not a ruthless but but but
	so i thought they are ruthless if they really yet but man
	uh... though you have no clue when stratus making his move to the mornings
	i want his first hour all art mom's the bell
	it's not uh... starting on what is it january twenty fifth
	January, okay, I'll bear that in mind.
	January 25th.
	Oh, Rocky Allen's coming in.
	Rocky Allen?
	Yeah.
	So Curtis is not going to the mornings?
	Nope, he's coming back tonight.
	Well, then I want his next hour.
	You can't have it.
	That's totally up to the listeners.
	You ever have a date from hell, Tommy?
	Oh, I picked up this blind date.
	Yeah?
	One tooth and three fingers.
	No, you lie.
	You lie.
	I'm not lying.
	They told me she was gorgeous, man.
	I played a great night.
	We were going out to play miniature golf.
	How do you do it?
	You know, she had three fingers.
	Are you serious?
	Yes.
	I mean, an obvious question is, how did this poor lass lose her fingers?
	Did you ask?
	Did you even ask?
	No.
	Not at all.
	I think she was born that way.
	I'm serious.
	Hey, if I send you 50 bucks, could you, like, during the break, go downstairs and play Red 27 for me?
	Red 27?
	Goodbye, Tommy.
	Take care.
	You see, Curtis maintains that I don't do my show from Pahrump, Nevada.
	Curtis is telling the audience back in New York that I do the show from the top of some hotel in Las Vegas.
	I don't know.
	I think he spent too much time inhaling subway fumes or something.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hey, Art Bell.
	It's Vince in Chicago.
	Hey, Vince.
	It's been a long time.
	Yeah, it has.
	How are you doing?
	I'm doing all right.
	You know, with this Y2K coming apart, I was on the Grassy Knoll, your chat room over there on America Online.
	Ah, yes, where anarchy reigns.
	Right.
	I met a fellow, I read one of his books years ago.
	He's a very interesting author by the name of Ralph Epperson.
	Yes.
	He wrote a book called The Unseen Hand.
	Did you ever read that art?
	No.
	It's one of the greatest books ever, exposing the unseen forces behind world events, conspiracy and whatnot.
	Yes.
	But he was saying that Mr. Epperson was saying that the New World Order is going to come out of the chaos of the Y2K event.
	The New World Order is like 358 days away.
	Nah, I don't buy it.
	But he wrote this book called The New World Order.
	I haven't read it yet, but I ordered it.
	And I think he'd make a great guest.
	He might, but I really don't buy into the new world.
	Someday, though, there will be one.
	Not when you're alive, not while I'm alive, not while our children are alive, but far into the future there will be.
	It's a natural thing.
	But it's not going to come overnight through some, at least in my estimation, some Emergency like Y2K or whatever else might come along.
	I don't think so.
	Well, you know, the New World Order, they might try to bring it out of the chaos.
	If there is chaos, you know, if all the power goes out, that would be the most opportune time.
	And I think you ought to look into this Ralph Epperson.
	Have you ever thought that a One World Order might be a good thing?
	I don't think it would be so good.
	Why not?
	There'd be nowhere to hide.
	I mean, Big Brother would be everywhere.
	I really don't understand the world order.
	Well, I'm just experimenting with this idea intellectually here.
	There would be no more wars.
	Because you're not going to fight yourself.
	Right?
	Yeah, but you won't have any freedom.
	We'll all be slaves.
	We're going to have to listen to whatever the big problem is.
	Yeah, but what if the New World Order embraced U.S.
	constitutional rights and even perhaps going beyond that?
	Then what?
	You know, you're absolutely right.
	If the New World Order meant embracing the Bill of Rights and bringing it all over the world to countries like China, Russia, then I would be for the New World Order.
	There you are!
	Even possibly strengthening them and going beyond what we have now.
	We've got a few problems, even now.
	Alright, well listen, we've got to hold it right there, Vince, for now.
	I just want you to think about that.
	Tonight's secret numbers, by the way, are 101, 77, and 18.
	That's 101, 77, and 18.
	177 and 18. That's 101, 77 and 18. Those are important numbers.
	Oh, and it's alright and it's coming along. We're gonna get right back to where we started from.
	Love is good, love can be strong. We're gonna get right back to where we started from.
	Those who finally encode all my numbers will know the world's great secrets.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time, on Premier Radio Networks.
	Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
	And if you get hurt, by the little things I say, I can just set my back on your bed seat.
	When it's all right and it's coming home, we gotta get right back to where we started from.
	Love is good, love can be strong, we gotta get right back to where we started from.
	Love like ours can never fade away, we know it's only just begun.
	Love is just a growing pain, why don't they understand, it's just a crying shame.
	Well it's a lie and only real is real, we stop and fight right now, we got to be what we feel.
	We say the word, it's gotta prove, it's gotta be.
	This is the time, this is the place, this is the motion, this is the way we are feeling.
	We take the pressure and we throw away, conventionality was lost yesterday.
	There is a chance that we can make it so far, we start believing now, that we can be who we are.
	We say the word, it's gotta prove, it's gotta be.
	This is the time, this is the place, this is the motion, this is the way we are feeling.
	This is a life of illusion, crack up the trouble.
	Premier Radio Network.
	Well, the press is going on trial tomorrow.
	You're not going to learn anything new because the Senate is going to have a closed door session to decide how they're going to do whatever it is they're going to do.
	So you're not going to see much tomorrow.
	Too bad.
	I'm wondering if they're going to close this thing to the American public and we're not going to be able to see it.
	Me, I want a nice spectacle to be able to watch during the daytime when I'm awake.
	Instead of the usual daytime fare, I realize it will upset zillions of housewives across the nation.
	Ah, but who cares?
	anyway will be right back with whatever it is you want to talk about
	sometimes uh...
	uh... you know you listen to dames and you say uh... dames Remember he was talking about a flare, uh, from the sun?
	Well, today I'm bombarded.
	I mean, I am just bombarded with, here, for example, in the Los Angeles Times today.
	The Los Angeles Times.
	The head article, or the article is, Some stars emit destructive flares.
	Astronomy, colon.
	If our sun produced such phenomena, they would destroy Earth's ozone layer.
	Scientists call it unlikely.
	Now... You talk, you know, about these things, and they seem far out and impossible, and then all of a sudden, months later, the media is now being flooded with what the sun is doing, or might do, And scientists are speculating about an Ellie from the sun.
	You know, something that would end all life.
	Extinction-level event, I believe it was, right?
	We're also doing our Date from Hell line, just because I feel like doing that tonight.
	Art Bell, I've been trying to call you for three years.
	Over three years, it says.
	I'm listening to you on KBC.
	Are you live?
	Of course I'm live.
	There's a big rumor going around that I'm not live.
	I'm live.
	Today is, here on the West Coast, 1-7-99 at 1114 and 45 seconds.
	Does that convince you, Gene?
	Probably not.
	On my date from Hell Line, you're on the air.
	Hello there.
	Thanks, Larry.
	Thanks for having me on.
	Sure.
	My name's Phillip.
	I'm calling from OWTMG in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
	Oh, yes.
	And I'm in my 30s now, but back in my 20s, apparently a lot of females just think I was cute.
	I don't know how you feel when you get called cute, but it's good and it's bad.
	It's not manly, but it's like you've got to face it.
	I wouldn't know the feeling.
	Okay.
	I wouldn't know the feeling.
	Nobody ever calls me cute.
	I won't.
	I'm not cute.
	So you were cute, though, huh?
	I were cute.
	You were cute.
	Back in my 20s, when I were cute, oh, I dated like these... I went out with these really attractive and spoiled women.
	Like pretty much equally separated within a six week period.
	They wanted to go out with me because I was cute.
	So we went out.
	Did you feel like a piece of meat?
	That's a big part of it.
	You're right on the money.
	Really?
	Anyway, they wanted to go out with me because I was cute.
	So we had these great dates.
	We started the dates at noon and we had these great dates.
	We went to dinner, ball games, we went dancing, and we saw concerts and all that stuff.
	And I got to meet all their friends.
	It was kind of mysterious while we were out.
	Sure.
	So we went home and all three times we went home together and I was called cute between probably 30 and 40 times that night.
	And then later on, I really wanted to date like a girl and get married and buy a house and that stuff.
	But no, they wanted to date cute guys.
	And the situation was that I finally got around to saying, I'd like a girlfriend so I can bring them home and be my parents.
	And I got the same line that's like, you're a really nice guy but I'm not interested in dating anybody in particular right now.
	So, I've been left emotionally scarred and really screwed up from that.
	Emotionally scarred by being cute.
	Alright, well look, I appreciate your call.
	Thank you.
	That's a problem I never had.
	I was never cute.
	I'm still not cute.
	And I'd, you know, I wonder what that problem would be like.
	To have the problem of being cute.
	A truly beautiful person.
	It's a problem I wouldn't know about.
	No one has ever, ever called me cute.
	Well, maybe when I was in diapers and crawling around and tipping over ashtrays, but, you know, nothing I remember.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hi, Art Pell.
	How are you?
	I'm okay.
	Good.
	This is Lynn from Homer.
	Homer, Alaska?
	Alaska, yeah.
	Okay.
	And the first time I called was with Speaking Wind, and I'm so sorry to hear about Speaking Wind has passed on.
	I know.
	I'm very, very sorry to hear that.
	I feel disturbed by that.
	I was listening yesterday and Michael Thoreau, was that his name?
	Yes.
	He was mentioning the fifth element ether.
	Yes.
	What is it?
	Yes.
	I think it's spirit.
	Spirit?
	The spirit world?
	All right, thank you.
	Well, it could easily be the spirit world.
	It could be a different dimension, what we think of as the ether.
	It could be a different dimension.
	And most mainstream theoretical physicists now are leaning toward multidimensional theory as what really is the case.
	And so, yeah, it could easily be.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air, good morning.
	Who is this?
	This Art Bell?
	Yes.
	Turn your radio off, please.
	This Art Bell?
	Yes, yes.
	I was going to ask you if you could ask Richard Hoagland at the space station just up there to store DNA, just in case something big happens.
	Well, I don't...
	I don't think he'd know about that, but you raise an interesting point.
	In other words, to store human DNA in case somehow the planet becomes sterilized and we're all gone.
	That's right.
	And is the government working that way?
	Like they set fires to put them out?
	And whose DNA do you think they would choose to buy?
	I don't think they'd choose mine.
	Maybe yours.
	I doubt that.
	I'm not cute.
	Neither am I. No, I've been thinking about that and I was thinking, you know, all these fires getting started and melting the polar cap.
	If they melt the polar cap, knowing if they knew asteroids were coming, they would probably want it to hit water, not land.
	Well, I don't know.
	Both are, thank you, both are considered equally catastrophic.
	Land may be a little worse because it would throw up so much dirt.
	And grit that would block out the sun that would have catastrophic results on our weather for those that remain alive.
	If we didn't have water, of course, why, a lot of our coastal cities are immediate toast.
	So, a couple of bad options, but I guess water might be better from my point of view here in Nevada anyway.
	Western Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hi, Art Bell.
	Hello.
	How are you doing tonight?
	I'm fine.
	Good.
	I want to talk about your little bad date things.
	How about a bad relationship?
	Yeah, sure.
	I mean, a relationship is nothing but an extended date anyway, right?
	Exactly.
	How about a year of a bad relationship where he kicks you out Christmas Eve?
	Oh, no.
	Yeah, Christmas Eve.
	Oh, no.
	You know, lately companies have been laying people off.
	Like right at Christmas, that's a new thing, but getting thrown out of your home on Christmas Eve.
	Christmas Eve, okay.
	Two new, brand new kitties.
	It's snowing like just, you would not believe up here in Great Falls, Montana.
	You mean you had your cats with you?
	No, he kept my kitties.
	He kept your cats?
	He kept my cats.
	And threw you out?
	And threw me out.
	Into the snow?
	In the snow.
	In the snow, like, get out.
	I don't love you anymore.
	I've cheated on you seven times.
	I'm a good-looking woman.
	Wait a minute.
	He said he cheated on you seven times?
	Uh-huh.
	And he threw you out?
	He threw me out.
	So now I'm staying with my little brother.
	It's the first time I ever heard your radio show, so I was like, okay, I gotta call this guy.
	What kind of Perverted justice is that?
	It's called, I'm a producer and I make lots of money and you are nothing.
	It's what that's called.
	Oh, he's a producer.
	Yeah.
	Are you a starlet?
	Am I a starlet?
	No, I'm just one of those lonely minions who have to work every day.
	You know, I can't afford... No pun intended, that's one of the coldest things I've ever heard.
	Christmas Eve, snowing, Uh huh.
	Physically threw you out?
	Physically threw me out.
	My stuff was waiting on the porch for me.
	That's one sad story.
	I know.
	I feel pity for myself.
	Do you feel like you've learned a lesson in life because of this?
	Yeah.
	Big time.
	I think I'm going for women next time.
	You know, I was about to ask you.
	It hasn't turned you against all men, has it?
	No, men are great.
	Hey, you guys are the reason why I breathe every day.
	You know, you talk about bad dates, you know, and dates from hell.
	I would love to have a date from hell right now.
	It would give me a really good laugh.
	Really?
	Oh, yeah.
	In other words, a date from hell is better than no date at all?
	Exactly.
	Well, no, I'm not saying that necessarily.
	I'm saying that a date from hell Would be more humorous than a relationship from hell.
	At least I can walk away with a good laugh.
	You've got a pretty good point.
	That's one cold SOB, I'll tell you.
	Alright, thank you very much.
	Can you imagine that she comes home, you tell her that you've cheated on her seven times and so get the hell out.
	Here's your stuff.
	It's snow out there.
	It's probably zero, or below zero.
	And then he keeps your cats.
	See how cold people are?
	I mean, that's about as cold as you can get.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Yeah, hi, Art.
	Hello.
	Um, uh, Christine from, uh, Albuquerque, New Mexico.
	Yes, ma'am.
	From KKLB.
	Oh, the monster KKLB.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	I want to ask you two questions.
	Why haven't we gone back to the moon?
	You're asking me why we haven't gone back to the moon?
	I could give you two possible answers and let you pick between them, alright?
	Okay.
	Number one, we found absolutely nothing of interest on the moon.
	It's a barren, pitted rock.
	Two, We found something incredibly important on the moon that would change mankind's knowledge about its own origins.
	And we're not ready for that information to get out yet.
	Which one do you choose?
	I think the second one.
	The second one?
	The conspiratorial version?
	Yes.
	What do you think we found? Oh, gee, that's a hard question.
	I know.
	Now I'm asking you that question, too.
	I don't know.
	Well, if you take your cue, thank you, from 2001 Space Odyssey, it would have been an obelisk.
	And it may be that... See, that obelisk is such a good idea because many, again, mainstream scientists believe That the way to contact another race would be to put robotic obelisks on moons near planets that are likely to develop life.
	And when you reach them, they would send out a signal.
	So why haven't we been back to the moon?
	I don't know.
	What's your choice?
	On my date from Hell Line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	I'm Barbara from KOMO in Seattle.
	Hi, Barbara.
	Hi.
	I can hardly hear you.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I'll try and yell a little bit.
	Okay, thank you.
	I just wanted to call in because first I wanted to tell you that my husband considers me an Arbel Widow.
	He's an Arbel Widower.
	Really?
	Yeah, he introduced me to you.
	And second is, I was the date from hell.
	I had a blind date when I was a teenager.
	Yes.
	And we ended up like going down on the beach.
	And as we were walking along the beach, I saw a Clorox bottle.
	And I picked it up and I swung my arm back to throw it out in the water and I hit this guy in the face and broke his nose.
	Oh my God.
	And we were like, you know, he's laying on the beach and I don't know how to drive and... Probably the blood's pouring out?
	All over, yeah.
	Oh my God.
	And so I'm trying to get it to stop, you know, and so a few hours later, you know, he finally... Get him to get out of there.
	And I saw him, oh, I don't know, I think like a month later, and he wouldn't get like five feet.
	He saw me and said, hi, and stopped.
	So you've got to heave this bottle and connect directly with his nose, huh?
	Yep.
	I just thought I should call and let you know that.
	When you did see him again, Did he look the same?
	I mean, a lot of times when your nose is broken, you never really look quite the same again.
	Yeah, he did.
	He did.
	He healed up.
	That's something.
	Alright, thank you, dear.
	Okay.
	Bye-bye.
	Can you imagine that?
	Having to rush to the hospital your date because you just broke their nose?
	When you break your nose, there's a lot of bleeding that goes on.
	What was that movie where... It was so, so funny.
	It was Chevy Chase.
	In one of the, it wasn't, I don't think it was any of the vacation movies he did, but it was, maybe it was.
	Anyway, he had supernatural powers.
	And, uh, just say it.
	Modern Problems.
	Yeah, that was a movie.
	That's my wife.
	She's only watched it 16 times.
	One of the funniest scenes that I've ever seen in my whole life was When Chevy was sitting there, and he caused this guy, who was at a table with the gal that he wanted to be with, to begin having a nosebleed.
	Now, this is not your average nosebleed.
	By the time it was over, it looked like the carotid artery had been cut and was pouring straight out of this guy's nose.
	Oh, it was horrible.
	And you can imagine the people in the restaurant, probably a lot of you have seen that scene.
	That's kind of what that reminded me of when that young lady just told me about her date.
	On the international line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Yes, hello, Art.
	I'm just following up the call from the guy in Winnipeg a little while ago.
	Yes.
	This is Ryan from Edmonton in Canada.
	Yes, yes, Ryan.
	And I live in Summerland, which is actually in B.C.
	It's a small town, and I found out that all of the RCMP officers in there are given no holiday leave from New Year's until I think it's April of Of a year 2000 to handle with whatever problems there may be in this I'm talking like a town with 10,000 people in it only so.
	What the heck?
	Yeah.
	Why all of this readiness in Canada?
	And this is in the paper too.
	Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know.
	I've seen the articles, but I mean.
	Yeah.
	Why do you think your government is reacting so strongly compared to ours down here?
	Yeah, I have no idea.
	I would, maybe it's our I don't know, our laid-backness or something.
	This is not a laid-back action.
	By the way, do Canadians lose their calm at hockey games?
	Yeah, that's what I was just thinking when you said they don't riot.
	I remember when Vancouver got knocked out of the playoffs and there were riots in the streets of Vancouver.
	I think that was in 1994.
	They rioted because they got knocked out?
	Yeah, that's hockey though.
	Well, they didn't riot in Green Bay when, uh... Yeah.
	And they probably should have, too.
	I almost rioted here for them.
	Alright, listen, I gotta run.
	Thank you.
	We're at the bottom of the hour.
	That was such a rip-off.
	I hope you 49er fans are happy.
	I don't see how you can possibly go into the playoffs with your heads held high, knowing your team earned its way into the playoffs, not after what I saw.
	No siree, sir.
	Yeah, I almost threw something in support of Green Bay in my living room, but I didn't.
	I didn't.
	I'm Art Bell, and this is Coast to Coast AM.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	tonight featuring a replay of coast to coast am from january 7 1999
	what's going on? why don't you ask if you can stop?
	don't say that you love me!
	Okay Stephanie please continue tying again Okay
	Step by step Stephby
	Yeah it is
	going to be addition just I would say
	is going to be
	addition is
	going to be addition
	is going to be
	Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
	By the way, they're changing my area code.
	What a pain in the butt that is.
	Let me tell you, I'm going to have to have Ross do new bumpers for me, and I'm going to have a whole new area code.
	Las Vegas will remain 702, but the rest of us in the online districts are going to have a new New area code.
	Something like 775 or something like that.
	They changed my zip code, they changed my area code.
	Tomorrow I'll probably get mail and I'll have a new social security number or something
	On my date from hell line you're on the air hello Hello?
	Thank you.
	This is Matt in Atlanta.
	I listen to you on WGST.
	Hey Matt, how are you doing?
	Good, thank you.
	I've got a real weird one.
	It's kind of terrible that I call.
	All the time when you're on a topic, on a more important topic, but nevertheless I wanted to share this.
	This is a very important topic.
	Yeah, but you know how it is sometimes when you're talking about other issues besides the date.
	But what happened was a few years ago, there was a young lady, beautiful, beautiful, I mean just indescribably beautiful, and I'd gotten to know her through conversations and whatnot, so we started dating.
	And we've been on dates for a few weeks, you know, movies, dinner, what not.
	And so on this particular date she had invited me to stay the night with her, which of course I didn't refuse.
	Of course not.
	Yeah, of course not.
	So we went to bed and we were actually in the bed sleeping.
	We weren't involved in any activity.
	But her roommate came home and I guess had figured out that I was in there.
	And I started tearing the house up.
	And I thought, well, this is kind of strange.
	And she, of course, got up and went out and confronted her.
	And they started to tear the house up.
	They both then began to tear up the house?
	Yeah.
	So I got up and got on my clothes quickly and went in there.
	And the house was turned upside down.
	So I intervened.
	They were both small women, 6'4", 200 pounds.
	So I stepped between them and I told the roommate.
	Maybe it was none of my business, but I didn't think she should be hitting the other one.
	It's a very rude way to come home, at the very least.
	Yeah, besides being just a strange situation.
	So, of course, the militant one called the police and they came.
	The police?
	Yeah, and as it turns out, Art, and this is kind of weird, but they were romantically involved, the two women.
	And I was there.
	Oh my God, and you were in bed with her?
	Yeah, well, I didn't know.
	I mean, she gave me an indication and didn't tell me up front, so I had to explain to the police that, you know, no, I hadn't... I'm curious, out of curiosity, how did the police handle that?
	Well, they, you know, of course, could tell I was... my intention was, you know, I was not their cause of any trouble, and so they went... Well, you were a victim, actually.
	Yeah, big time.
	And anyway, they...
	The two girls had run down the beach and they were still cat fighting or whatever you want to call it.
	I told them what I knew of the situation and they said I could leave.
	Nevertheless, I never went out with that young lady again.
	Well said, sir, and I'll be thinking about that for some time.
	I've heard of some pretty sad stories about people coming home early and getting surprised, but that one takes the cake, all right.
	Something like that could absolutely scar you for life.
	On my international line, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art Bell.
	Yes.
	How are you doing tonight?
	Pretty well, actually.
	Wait a minute.
	Not with all that echo.
	My God, all that echo.
	There, I think that's better.
	Where are you?
	I'm in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
	Winnipeg, Manitoba.
	Canada.
	Yes.
	30 below.
	Is it really?
	A real 30 below?
	It's honestly 30 below?
	Not wind chill?
	You mean real 30 below?
	Well, it's Celsius, so I guess in America it would be about 25 below.
	But it's cool.
	It's a cool one, you know?
	Yeah.
	Anyway, the reason I'm calling, I might have a little bit of a Y2K update you might be interested in.
	I am indeed in any.
	Okay.
	I've got a friend who's in the military reserve, and we were talking the other day.
	In Canada?
	Yeah.
	He's based in Winnipeg here.
	Right.
	And he was told there'll be no leave between November and March of 2000.
	Wow.
	And he's kind of a bit of a naive guy, and he says, well, why?
	That seems to be a little bit in the future tense.
	He says, why would that be?
	And they said, well, we're just going to tell you now that you will probably be either in riot control, curfew enforcement, or Bosnia.
	Or Bosnia?
	Or Bosnia.
	Yeah, and he says that's all we're saying right now.
	Um, I was a little bit taken back when he said that, because I, uh... Yeah, the Canadian government appears to be very, very open, you know, about all of this, and I... Yeah, I know, you were asking the caller last night, and I was kind of racking my brain, wondering why they are, but... This is, this is actually, I think, what I'm about to say is meant as a compliment, and maybe you can help me out with this, but I have found Canadians, as a general rule, to be a very lights
	uh... reserved even uh...
	you know the not very out of the world of the most likely to to to riot you know
	yeah i know uh...
	don't know i think there may be looking for a worst-case scenario perhaps
	i think the ice storms last year gave a pretty good scare but people behave
	down there pretty good much role so i don't understand
	i mean if canadians would riot imagine what would be going on here where i am
	yeah like we're basically were labeled as apathetic or sometimes a little too
	much for our own good You know what I mean?
	So, it's hard to believe what could cause Canadians to riot.
	Well, you know, people do funny things when their kids get hungry, right?
	That's true.
	You know, I mean, Canadians don't get too upset over politics or things that don't affect them, you know, directly.
	Now, your attitude about politics is much like mine.
	Not much of what is done in Washington, or I assume your capital, very much affects your everyday life at all.
	No, it doesn't.
	No, it's a bunch of BS as far as I'm concerned.
	I mean, it makes humorous reading sometimes, but at least your politics has got some humor attached to it, a little bit of scandal, you know.
	But, you know, ours, I guess the big deal last year was the pepper spray, you know.
	Pepper spray?
	Yeah, but I don't know the whole story about that.
	Apparently there were some protesters when Prime Minister Khrushchev was doing some rally and the police pepper sprayed them at his orders, apparently.
	Really?
	Really?
	Bit of a pepper gate going on.
	I mean, these people were supposedly peaceful protesters, whatever.
	I mean, that's the extent of our scandal up here.
	Well, that's not much.
	No, that's pretty tame, so like you say, I was a little bit taken back when my friend in the Army said that, you know.
	I mean, riot control, curfew enforcement.
	Now that actually scares me.
	When I consider the good nature of Canadians and they're thinking there's going to be riots, I'm worried.
	Yeah, and this guy wasn't, he's not taken to sensationalism because he really, in his estimation... No Canadians are.
	No.
	Well, Y2K to him is a bunch of BS, he says.
	You know, I'm taking it a little more seriously myself.
	Well, I think I would be, based on what he said.
	Thank you.
	And what I'm hearing about Canada.
	They are seriously mobilizing military forces up there.
	Now, why would they be doing that?
	Particularly for a nation of people who are basically very calm.
	Canadians are really calm.
	I wouldn't say apathetic, exactly.
	But just laid back.
	You know, Canadians, they're pretty laid back.
	That they are making those kinds... We're not laid back.
	You know, we riot at the drop of a feather.
	Here.
	And so, if they're preparing like that up there, that worries me a little bit.
	First time... No, no, no.
	On my... A date from Hell Line.
	You're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	Hello!
	How are you?
	Pretty good, thank you.
	Great.
	I've got a great date from Hell story for you.
	Alright.
	Me and a girlfriend, this is a few years after high school, had met these two guys and decided we were going to go to a party with them.
	Yeah.
	They asked us to drive.
	You to drive?
	We said, alright, not a problem.
	They wanted you to drive?
	Yeah, they wanted us to drive.
	Well, it's 1990s, I guess, why not?
	Yeah, why not, you know?
	So we decided, alright, we'd drive.
	We went about 65 miles to Ventura, California for this party.
	Yeah.
	And these guys decided that We should put out my girlfriend.
	And we said, no, you know, that's not happening.
	And so they decided they'd get out of the car and go and party, get drunk and hit on all the other women.
	And we said, well, all right, that's the way you want to be.
	We sat there and we watched him get drunk and then said, okay, we're getting ready to leave.
	And they said, okay, we went and they followed us to the car.
	We got in the car, locked the doors and promptly left them.
	And it left them?
	Yeah!
	Now, who did the car belong to?
	My girlfriend.
	We decided that we'd had enough of their BS and just got in the car and promptly left them about 65 miles from home.
	Oh, that's pretty cold.
	I know.
	But I would say deserved.
	But I don't know if we were the date from hell or if they were.
	Yeah, I imagine they might call and be telling me the same story, huh?
	Probably, huh?
	Just thought you'd like that.
	Yep, very interesting.
	Thank you and take care.
	I'll tell you a story.
	At one time in Las Vegas, They used to have a big problem with prostitution in Las Vegas.
	Now, prostitution in some Nevada counties is perfectly legal, and they have houses of prostitution that are legal.
	But it is not legal in Las Vegas.
	It diverts people from gambling, so they don't allow it there.
	And the sheriff used to round up all the prostitutes in town.
	when they decided finally they were going to do something about it you know they would go up and down the strip and they would round up every single prostitute they saw or thought might be a prostitute and they would put them in buses and they would cart them outside of town yeah I mean generally here they are in hot pants or whatever they're in and high heels and all the rest of it and they would cart them miles and miles and miles out of town and just Make them get off the bus and walk back to Las Vegas.
	And that was their punishment.
	There's another part to this story that I'll have to tell you sometime.
	First time caller line.
	Actually, date from hell line.
	You're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	I'm calling from California.
	OK.
	And I have a date from hell with a twist.
	With a twist.
	Yes.
	A gentleman I had known for, oh, 10, 15 years.
	Ask me out on a date, and the first date he ever took me on was to a movie called Motel Hell.
	Have you ever seen that movie?
	No, I haven't, but is it a Freddy Krueger kind of thing?
	You should rent it sometime.
	I just thought it was horrible, and he laughed through the whole thing.
	But the twist is, we've been married almost 20 years.
	Really?
	Was the movie a horror movie or was it a comedy?
	It was a spoof.
	It was a movie about a man named Farmer John who caused people to have car accidents and then he buried them in his yard and he had the best tasting bacon, etc.
	Oh my.
	And he sold it.
	It was really funny.
	But I was grossed out.
	You know, people were buried, their head was sticking out of the ground and their body.
	It was hysterical.
	I thought, how could you take me to this movie?
	What a class act, huh?
	Yeah.
	He laughed.
	But somehow things must have improved.
	Pardon?
	I said somehow, between the two of you, things must have improved.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	The next movie was Raiders of the Lost Ark.
	I did it.
	Anyway, Art, I love you.
	I love listening to you.
	Thanks for the call.
	Take care.
	People with their heads sticking out of the ground and the best bacon in town.
	Great, huh?
	Wild Card Live, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Is this Mr. Bell?
	Yes, it is.
	Mr. Bell, I'm with the Center for Occult Awareness, and I'm calling because I've been informed that you're advising people to prepare for the year 2000.
	I am, indeed.
	And even more disturbingly, that you're engaging in the dissemination of secret numbers.
	I am, indeed.
	I am.
	I'm giving out secret numbers every night.
	Now, we're highly disturbed by these allegations, and so I was calling to inform you... They're not allegations!
	I'm telling you, I'm doing it.
	Okay, well, we're disturbed by this behavior, and I'm calling to tell you... Oh, yeah, but who cares?
	The Center cares about that very much.
	Well, so what?
	What are they going to do?
	Give me an award of some kind or what?
	That's not our activity, Mr. Bell.
	No?
	You mean you guys get rougher, huh?
	We don't engage in any particular actions.
	How do we know that?
	How do we know that your anti-cult activities don't include liquidations?
	Well, Mr. Bell, you're not... I'm not the one that's being subject to scrutiny here.
	It's you.
	And so I was just calling to inform you that we're monitoring you.
	We have downloaded the photo that you posted on your website of the Millennium Master.
	Oh, good.
	You mean where I have my... It's still there, by the way.
	I'm giving the press every opportunity.
	I'll erase it sometime tonight, but I've got my black robe on.
	It says MM, Millennium Master, is what that means.
	Also, MM is Roman numeral for 2000, as you well know.
	And I have a crown.
	You can see that as well.
	And I have done this to aid organizations like yours in writing hit pieces about me.
	Well, I'm sure you're going to continue to be monitored, Mr. Bell.
	Thank you very much.
	You're welcome.
	Have a good morning.
	So who cares?
	You know, I mean, that's the bottom line of that.
	Who cares?
	Called awareness groups.
	See, I know what I've got.
	I know what's coming this year.
	I know.
	Already I know.
	And so I've decided I'm going to help the press in every way I can.
	They want to paint me this way, let them paint me this way.
	Use that photograph with your stories.
	It'll really impress your readers.
	It's very catchy.
	You know, very catchy.
	The only effect that I was unable to get in the photograph, I might try another.
	I couldn't get my eyes wide enough.
	You know, any good real cult leader has to have wide, psychotically wide open eyes.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Oh, hello.
	Is this on?
	Yes.
	Turn your radio off, please.
	Yeah, hold on.
	One second.
	All right.
	I'll stand by while you do that.
	Everybody, get your radio close to the phone.
	Yeah, I'm shocked that I got through.
	I'm calling from New York City.
	All right.
	The reason why I'm calling is I'm on a midnight tour and I happened to listen to your show about two weeks ago.
	You had a remote viewer.
	Yes.
	And he made a statement saying that there'll be an incident in Shea Stadium.
	That's what he said.
	I contacted the NYPD, the intelligence division, and I'm a little nervous.
	They thought I was completely nuts.
	They wouldn't take it at all.
	Well, of course they wouldn't take it.
	Why would they take it?
	I mean, this is something that was...
	Remote-viewed and the police, you know, police departments everywhere don't pay a lot of attention to what psychics or prophecies say.
	They just don't pay attention.
	Well, I got the duty officer and he just dissed me.
	So what I did is I sat down and I wrote a letter to the... Here's what you do.
	Tell him to call Curtis.
	Curtis Leeway.
	He'll vouch for me.
	Oh, it's not you.
	It's the legitimacy of What a remote viewer is.
	It's hard to describe one to somebody who doesn't know what one is.
	I wouldn't try it.
	And that's what I did when I tried to explain what a remote viewer is and that they're going to blow something up.
	Possibility of Chase Stadium.
	He says, you know, basically you're nuts.
	So I wrote a letter to the commanding officer of the intelligence division, explaining what a threat, what a remote viewer is.
	And it warrants at least some investigation.
	I'd hate to see something happen out of chase.
	Of course.
	In July, because I live in a vicinity.
	But anyhow, I just thought that I wanted to let you know that I'm not even sure what a remote viewer is or if it's legitimate, but if the guy has credentials and he did work for NSA and this and that, it warrants further study.
	Well, he did work for the government remote viewing program.
	No, I understand, but I'm saying, I as a citizen, you know, I listen to you, I don't know what If that's true or not, but I believe it to be true.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I don't doubt it, but... So obviously, I mean, they're not going to send any sort of enforcement folks over there based on what you've said, right?
	No, but I was going to contact the people at Shea itself.
	Well, look, why not just do as I said and go to Curtis and he and his gang of green hats or whatever they are will go over there and... Well, I think he would have a more hostile view than the detective that answers the phone, but anyhow...
	Nice to speak with you.
	I work midnights, and you really make my night go by.
	So I thank you much for taking the call, and I'm shocked that I'm speaking to you, really.
	It's a pleasure.
	Well, I'm glad you called.
	Thank you.
	New York City, WABC.
	I've got those jingles, you know.
	That was sort of a lifelong dream of mine, to get WABC's old jingle package.
	And I grew up with that.
	I grew up with that, Cousin Brucie.
	W.A.B.C., boy, I grew up with it.
	And no matter where I moved around the Northeast part of the country, the W.A.B.C.
	was always there, always there, because they've got a signal that's everywhere in the Northeast and beyond.
	All right, this is Coast to Coast AM, doing not much of anything, and we'll be right back to do some more of it.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time, on Premier Radio Networks.
	Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM, from January 7th, 1999.
	And you must send her somewhere where she's never been before.
	Worn out phrases and mourning gazes won't get you where you want to go.
	No!
	Words of love, soft and tender won't wither.
	You ought to know by now You ought to know by now
	Pretty woman, walking down the street Pretty woman, what kind of life do you mean?
	kind I like to meet Pretty woman, I don't believe you You're not the truth No
	Pretty woman, I don't believe you You're not the truth
	one could look as good as you Mercy
	No one could hope and do than you Pretty woman, won't you pardon me?
	Pretty woman, won't you pardon me? Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see
	Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see Pretty woman, you look lovely
	Pretty woman, that you look lovely as can be Are you lonely and just like me?
	It can be why you're lonely and just like me Pretty woman, walking down the street Pretty woman, the
	Pretty woman, talk a while Pretty woman, talk a while Pretty woman, give your smile to me
	Pretty woman, can you hear me now? Pretty woman, look my way Pretty woman, say you'll stay with me
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time Tonight featuring a replay of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
	You know what?
	I think I need a Canadian line.
	I've been considering that lately.
	The Canadians are dominating my international line.
	And yet I want them to have a way to get in, so I think I'm going to get a Canadian line.
	That's probably why all circuits are busy.
	You know, I've got about I've got somewhere between 12 and 15 phone lines that come into my house.
	12 and 15, and so all I need is more.
	But when you think about it, it makes sense, doesn't it?
	A Canadian line only.
	and then close off the east and west to Canadians.
	Yes!
	The date from hell?
	Oh, she's walking back to me.
	Yeah, she's walking back to me.
	Oh, pretty woman.
	Here I am, and here are the commercials, and then we'll be right back.
	Well, okay, here we go again on my date from hell line. You're on the air. Hello?
	Hello, Art.
	Yes.
	Can you hear me?
	Where are you?
	Now I can't hear you No, where'd you what happened?
	What's going on?
	You're gone. You're history.
	No. What have you done to your phone?
	Hello?
	Yeah, now I hear you.
	Okay.
	What's going on there?
	I don't know.
	My antenna's coming loose here.
	I think I've got it now.
	Okay.
	Okay, well, my date from hell is probably one of my most embarrassing.
	Really?
	But now that it's years past, it's kind of funny.
	Yeah, things have a way of finally getting funny.
	I mean, real tragedies at the time.
	Yes.
	Well, I was in high school, about 17 years old, and dating someone who I had a nice date and it was a 12 pack and a truck on the
	side of the road. This was only our third date, so his side of the truck was his side and my side was my side. Not
	being a real beer drinker, I was on my first beer and he was drinking beer and throwing the cans out the window. A
	policeman, well before the policeman came, he spilled a beer on his shorts.
	And being a hot July night, he decided the best place for his shorts to dry out would be the back, the tailgate of his pickup.
	Oh, no.
	So, he put his shorts on the tailgate of the pickup and got back in the track.
	His beer-drenched shorts.
	And a policeman pulled up behind the pickup.
	Of course.
	And I'm thinking, you know, thinking, well, let's tell him we're fighting and that's the reason we pulled over.
	And so I pretend I'm crying and the policeman walks up to the window and, you know, have you been drinking?
	You mean you guys cooked this story up just while you saw the patrol car?
	Yes.
	And I told, you know, I act like I'm crying and just take me home.
	I can't take this anymore.
	And my boyfriend is, you know, no, we haven't been drinking.
	And he says, well, what are these beer cans doing here on the side of the pickup?
	And my boyfriend says, well, They were here when we pulled up.
	He says, why smell beer on your breath?
	Step out of the pickup.
	Of course.
	So he has to step out of the pickup in his underwear and get his shorts off the tailgate of the pickup.
	And so then, of course, our story looks that much more unbelievable.
	We're fighting with his pants off.
	He was a nice enough policeman just to take one look at me and how old is she and dump the beer out and take her home.
	And that was it?
	That was my date from hell.
	Yeah, that's a date from hell, alright.
	Well, that'll teach you to fool with the law.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Thanks, Art.
	Thank you, take care.
	There would be no way out of that.
	No way at all.
	You've been drinking, the cans are littering the side of the road right adjacent to you,
	you've spilled beer on your own shorts, they're drying on the back of the truck and the cop car pulls up.
	Heh heh heh heh heh.
	Ummm...
	Yeah, that would take a few years to be funny, but it is funny.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hi, Art.
	Hello.
	Hi, how's it going?
	I've been listening to your show for a couple of years, and I just wanted to say that it's nice to get through.
	I've never tried calling before, but I just wanted to talk about a couple of things, Art.
	Okay.
	The first thing I wanted to talk about as far as UFOs, I know it's not, this is probably your dateline and that, but My father, like yourself, was in the Air Force, and he was in the Air Force from 1972 to 1974, Station Whiteman Air Force Base.
	Right.
	And he had the highest security clearance you could get at the time, which was top secret crypto.
	And I, you know, I found that out when I was about 8 years old.
	Yes.
	And I asked him, you know, as far as UFOs, because I've always been interested in things like that.
	And he had told me that, you know, the analogy he gave me, and I firmly believe this, he's always been honest and, you know, a man of integrity.
	The analogy that he used was that you may walk down by a ravine and see something and just have no idea what it is and keep walking.
	That was his explanation for it.
	As far as that, I can pretty much debunk whatever people don't want to believe.
	If we know that there is intelligent life on this planet, there is obviously going to be intelligent life elsewhere.
	I just wanted to say that for all the people that don't believe in UFOs, and I think a lot of them can be dismissed as you know experimental aircraft and flying over you know
	people's homes and whatnot at strange hours of the night but if you look at a f-117 uh
	you know uh 117 a south fighter what kind of looks like you know something that didn't
	really you know evolve here you know well it did and uh what people should consider is that the
	f-117 is now really old news even though it's alien-like and so you can only imagine i
	mean you have to imagine that they are several generations beyond that with whatever they're
	testing at area 51 Several generations beyond.
	And so what would that look like?
	I mean, that really is a safe assumption, isn't it?
	Do we now have craft that defy gravity?
	I suspect it's possible.
	I really do.
	First time, no, date from Hell Line.
	You're on the air.
	Hi there.
	Hi.
	How are you, Art?
	Pretty good.
	Where are you?
	This is Phyllis in Alexandria, Virginia.
	I listen to WRC.
	WRC.
	Bethesda, Maryland.
	Yes, ma'am.
	My date from Hell, I guess it was really more embarrassing than anything, but I had a second date with this guy and I thought I was going to the movies.
	Well, he was a truck driver, and he said he had to take a trailer to Delaware, which is not too far from here.
	Right.
	So, I'd never been in one before, and I thought, well, that might be interesting.
	So, we have to go over across the Bay Bridge, and it's very high, and I'd always been over in a car, never higher up in a cab.
	Oh, things really look different up there.
	Oh, yes.
	It was very scary.
	And we, God, we dropped the trailer off and on our way back, you know, I don't know the term for it, but I thought it was doggin' or bulldoggin' when you're just in the cab and the trailer's not there.
	I don't know what that's called.
	I don't either, but it just about jolts your teeth out of your mouth.
	I mean, it is such rough riding.
	Yeah, I would imagine it bounces around.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, he knew about this restaurant.
	He wanted us to stop at.
	So we drive up in the cab and we're dressed nice and we get out.
	We stand in line and finally the maitre d' comes and takes us to our table.
	The Mater D pulls the chair out and my date sits down.
	The Mater D looked at him and then he looked at me and he had this really funny look on
	his face.
	Yeah, like where did you find this one?
	Right.
	So I'm standing there with my hands on my head thinking, are you crazy?
	I was very mad at the time but later on I thought it was funny.
	Another thing that I'd like to tell you, I made copies, or I printed off of my friend's computer, the MJ-12 documents.
	Very interesting.
	Oh, of course they are.
	That must have been a lot of work, though.
	I've got a whole book here.
	Listen, I'm going to be talking about those tomorrow with Stanton Friedman while I'm taping Dreamland.
	One to four o'clock if you have a computer.
	Oh, well, I can... I don't know whether she has... I don't think she has a modem.
	You know, pick up the phone and talk.
	Is that what you mean?
	No, you can just listen on real audio.
	You know, it's like you go to my website and you click on listen live, audio or whatever it is, and you go over there and listen to Dreamland as we do it.
	Oh, wonderful.
	And participate.
	You didn't know that, huh?
	No.
	Yeah, one to four in the afternoon, Pacific Time.
	One to four.
	Yep.
	Okay.
	And one other thing.
	Yes.
	I don't know whether you're aware of it or not, but there's about two or three minutes of dead air.
	You know, it goes back to the local station when you take a break.
	Right.
	And I don't know whether it's their fault.
	No, that's probably on their end.
	They perhaps are not getting a signal or something, you know, a subaudible tone that is bringing it back at the right time.
	So who knows?
	Well, I'll call them because they've had other problems, too.
	Okay.
	Let them know.
	Thank you so much.
	I'm glad you're back, and God bless you, and have a blessed New Year.
	Thank you.
	It's absolutely beautiful.
	I saw the picture.
	Which one?
	The 20-year-old.
	Oh, of Ramona?
	Yes, she's absolutely beautiful.
	Thank you.
	Thank you very much.
	Yes, it is a neat picture of her.
	That's Ramona when she was 20.
	That's on the website.
	And she still is.
	Very beautiful.
	Indeed.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	I'm Jeff from North Gore, Ontario, Canada.
	Hi Jeff!
	How are ya?
	Pretty well.
	Well, I think you are.
	I enjoy your show immensely.
	Thank you.
	My date from hell is somewhat a little bit different.
	I was involved in the ice storm last year.
	Oh, the terrible ice storm of 98 in Canada.
	That was a good tap on the shoulder for the Y2K.
	If people aren't paying attention to the Y2K, they should.
	I know.
	Meanwhile, the story goes like this.
	I date from hell, which is the key word, from.
	When it hit, we were in hell for quite a while.
	But I have a neighbor, his name is Dick.
	I've been here for 26 years, and he's lived next door to me.
	No electricity, no bell.
	He works on wood, propane, and Outhouse, everything else, self-sufficient.
	When the ice storm hit, for him, it was just another day.
	He came over here to my house.
	He said, Jeff, bring your truck over.
	He cuts wood all throughout the year.
	He has wood piled up from here to Ottawa, which is quite a ways.
	Listen, I understand exactly what you're saying.
	If you are not dependent on modern day What we consider to be just conveniences that are almost automatic and you're not dependent on those in the first place and everything goes away, you don't care, doesn't bother you a whit.
	Well, what we take for granted is what happens.
	You know, like you said before, you turn on a light switch, it always comes on.
	I know.
	And it doesn't anymore.
	I know.
	Well, look, what I tell people is what I'll tell you now.
	If you want to have an interesting experiment, wait until night one night and go out and be very safe and just go out to the breaker or if the breaker is in your house it's even easier the main breaker and just turn it off you know that'll cut all the power to your house and leave it off for an hour or two or however long you think you can handle it and if you're in a modern
	American home or apartment or something like that, you will quickly discover that you live in a useless shell.
	That if the power were to go away, if the water was not going to be running from the tap, you'd be in pretty big trouble pretty fast.
	And the way to test that is simply to go through the breaker and shut it off.
	See for yourself.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Extinguish your radio, please.
	OK.
	You know, I hear everybody do this, and they're so surprised when it happens.
	And now, hey, it happened.
	That's right.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	I wanted to tell you a tape from Health Story.
	Well, that's fine.
	I'll take them on any line, I guess.
	Where are you?
	I'm in Roswell, Georgia.
	Roswell, Georgia?
	Yeah.
	Kathy in Roswell.
	OK, Kath.
	Yeah, okay.
	I had a friend that was a scout leader with me and she was divorced for many years and she called me one day and said, I'm really worried about my ex-husband.
	He seems to be depressed.
	He had never remarried and I wonder if you'd go out with him because he just needs somebody to talk to.
	She was trying to fix you up with her ex-husband because he was depressed?
	Yeah, she said he needs somebody to talk to.
	And you've helped a lot of people.
	Doesn't that sort of start the alarm bells ringing right away?
	Depressed ex-husband?
	Well, I didn't think too much about it because when I had a lot of friends that knew divorced people and they would call me and say, so and so just got divorced.
	Would you go out with them because they're just kind of I don't think so.
	and they need somebody.
	I felt like a halfway house for like a door to people.
	I said, well sure, I'll talk to him.
	He calls and we set up a dinner date.
	He picks me up and we drive all the way across town.
	He's like, there's a restaurant out here I want to take you to.
	Well, he said, no, no, it's on the other side of town.
	So we go, we drive all the way.
	Atlanta's a big city.
	Yes, it is.
	Okay, because we're in the suburb of Atlanta.
	So we drive.
	Then he goes back the other way.
	And we drove for like two and a half hours.
	And then he's just driving, wandering aimlessly.
	And I was like, Like anything, anything's fine.
	Hello, are we getting close?
	And so finally we get to this place and they had things, squid and octopus and weird things and I didn't want to eat it so he cuts it up in little tiny bits and he starts forcing me to eat it with his fork like almost pushing it into my mouth and I'm like, no really I don't care for it and he's like, eat it.
	And this is a huge guy.
	Like 6'7".
	Huge.
	I mean... He forced you to eat?
	Big.
	Very intimidating.
	Dark.
	Dark eyes.
	Dark hair.
	Tall.
	Muscular.
	Outdoorsy.
	And so you ate it?
	Oh, hell yeah, I ate it.
	I ate whatever he could get in little tiny bits and fed me.
	So I'm like, okay, well, it's getting late.
	Let's go.
	So I'm trying to make conversation as we're crossing town back our way.
	And I said, well, what do you like?
	Are you into sports or games?
	And he's like, what kind of games?
	And I said, oh, you know, chess, whatever, you know, games, computer games, whatever.
	And all of a sudden we're turning down into this woods.
	And he said, I have a chess set.
	And I was like, wait a minute, we're not going the right way.
	Where are we?
	Because I was so turned around.
	I don't understand.
	Where are we going?
	I have a chess set at my place.
	We're almost there.
	Okay, well, I've got to go soon.
	I've got kids at home.
	Listen, I've got a break here because I've got a bottom of the hour break.
	We'll get this after the bottom of the hour, okay?
	Okay.
	Stay right there.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	tonight featuring a replay of coast to coast am from january 7 1999
	oh please you read it my heart is on fire i float like a wheel that's turning my love is alive you're the devil in
	disguise for as you are nevel in disguise You fool me with your
	You look like an angel.
	Walk like an angel.
	That's how you lie to me, and not the way you see.
	You look like an angel, walk like an angel, talk like an angel, but I got wise.
	You're the devil in disguise, oh yes you are, devil in disguise.
	I thought that I was in heaven, but I was sure surprised.
	Heaven help me, I didn't see the devil in your eyes.
	You look like an angel, walk like an angel.
	Gates from Hell and whatever else you want to talk about.
	Fair game for tonight.
	but I got one You're listening to ArcBell Somewhere in Time on Premier
	Radio Networks.
	Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
	Good morning everybody.
	Gates from Hell and whatever else you want to talk about, fair game for tonight.
	We'll be right back.
	Alright, you're back on the air again, huh?
	Hi.
	Yeah, hi.
	So here you are, headed out to the woods.
	Yeah, and we go way back in the woods, and there's this big house back there.
	And he said, come on, I got a chessboard.
	And I said, well, I got to call the kids.
	So I think, OK, I'll go in.
	I'll call home.
	And anyway, we get in there.
	There's no chessboard.
	I'm like, who lives here?
	He said, these people travel, they're gone all the time, they let me live in the basement.
	How sick!
	This is Freddy Krueger!
	Okay?
	And like, everything's locked up, so you can't go upstairs.
	And he says, you can't call.
	You can't call.
	And he pulls like a kitchen chair into the middle of the room.
	And he says, sit down.
	And in the meantime, he gets a bottle of vodka, and he starts drinking the stuff straight out of the bottle, just downing it.
	And he's getting... I think, okay, he'll pass out.
	He'll get drunk, and he'll pass out.
	But he doesn't.
	And he makes me sit in a chair, and he gets behind me, and I'm trying not to lose eye contact with him, because you don't let a psychopath get behind you.
	Yeah, I hear you.
	You shouldn't break eye contact with him.
	So I'm trying to think of all the stuff I've read in books.
	And he's behind me.
	He's got huge hands.
	Like I said, he's huge, like 6'7", and big, and built, and buff.
	And he puts his hands around my neck, and he says, do you want to die?
	Oh, man!
	So I just stay calm, because I know I shouldn't show fear or intimidation to this person, because they're on a control power trip.
	So I'm like, not tonight.
	And I said, really?
	I've got to get home.
	They're going to be wondering.
	He said, I can make it stop.
	I can make the pain go away.
	Do you want to die?
	Oh, man.
	This goes on all night long.
	OK?
	I won't drink.
	All night long?
	All night.
	My God, woman, you've been kidnapped.
	Yeah, so hours go by, and he won't let me out of the chair.
	And I see a picture of his daughter.
	His daughter was in my scout troop.
	And I take her picture, and I hold her picture so he has eye contact with the picture.
	And I keep talking about his daughter.
	Because that seems to be his one link with reality, maybe his only link.
	So he said, I need to go to the bathroom.
	So I go in the bathroom and he stands in the doorway and he said, don't shut the door.
	And he stands there.
	Then I come back and he says, sit in a chair.
	So I sit in a chair and it starts all over again, I mean hours.
	And he keeps drinking and he gets another bottle and he's drinking and then he lays down on the bed and he says, stay there.
	So I think finally he's gone asleep.
	He's sleeping and I'll sneak out.
	And every time I move, he's like, boom, awake.
	And he says, sit in the chair.
	Well, what am I, you know, I mean, I have, there's nothing I can do.
	So this goes on.
	How old were you?
	Um, I was about 38.
	And so, um, I'd sit in the chair all night and, um, in the morning and he never, he appears to be asleep, but obviously he's never asleep because if I move, He's right on top of it and he says, don't get up, don't move.
	And so he says, you can lay down next to me or sit in the chair.
	So you stay in the chair.
	And so he says, can I go to the bathroom again?
	He's like, I'll go with you.
	Very bizarre.
	So in the morning, about 10 o'clock, he gets up and he's got a station wagon and he starts throwing all this camping gear in it.
	And I said, they're really going to be worried.
	I mean, they're scared.
	I haven't come home all night.
	I have got to get home.
	I've got to call you.
	And I was extremely calm with him.
	And so he said, no, we're going fishing.
	We're going up in the mountains.
	And I said, no, I don't think so.
	And I talked to him for a while and I finally did get home around noon the next day.
	They're going to have the police out.
	The people know who I'm with and they're going to be looking for you.
	I suggest you take me home immediately to head this off because the kids are going to be getting up.
	They're going to call your ex-wife and people are going to start looking for us.
	So I'm not going fishing.
	I'm not going to the mountains.
	I'm going home.
	I'm going home now.
	And he got in, he didn't say another word, got in the car and silently drove me home, dropped me off.
	And I went inside and called his ex-wife.
	And I said, what?
	What?
	What?
	What were you thinking?
	And I told her, she goes, oh I thought he was over all of that.
	Oh no!
	Oh my God!
	And she's like, well that's why I divorced him because he held a shotgun on me when I was pregnant.
	And then I heard all these other bizarre stories about him.
	And so she goes, well I was really worried because his last girlfriend disappeared.
	And we didn't know any family that she had and we can't find her.
	I'm like, oh, well, maybe she went fishing.
	I don't know.
	This is the date with Freddy Krueger.
	Yeah, it was truly the date from hell.
	Nine and a half something or another.
	I mean, it was truly bad.
	That really happened to you?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Didn't you call the police?
	No, no, because I really didn't want to stir the waters and he lives in this town and he would be around occasionally.
	I ran into him again at a nightclub.
	No!
	He was completely dressed in camouflage.
	This guy is massive.
	I found out he ran away in high school and jumped a steamer and went to Cuba to fight with Che Guevara or something.
	Right.
	And they sent him back.
	This is the mentality.
	They sent him back?
	They sent him back because he was a minor.
	That's how long ago.
	He was older and I ran into him in this club.
	That I was with his ex-wife, and she had remarried.
	And she said, oh, when they see each other, there's going to be a fight.
	And these are two big guys who look like alike.
	Now, excuse me one second.
	What were you doing with this guy's ex-wife?
	You shouldn't have had another thing to do with her, ever.
	We were joint scout leaders together.
	We had a scout troop that we were co-leaders of.
	She was a great girl.
	Oh, yeah, just great.
	Oh, no, she really meant no harm.
	Fixed you up with a psychopath.
	She wasn't married to him very long.
	She left him.
	Obviously.
	Obviously.
	But I mean, what kind of friend would fix up another friend with somebody who would virtually... I mean, that's kidnapping.
	And that's torture.
	And that's a lot of things.
	Very serious things.
	I think it certainly qualifies as the day from hell, though.
	It wins the entire award for the night.
	And I can still remember that so vividly.
	You want to die?
	You want to die?
	I can stop it.
	I can make it all stop.
	I can make the pain go away.
	And I was like, you know, when I want to die, I'll come to you.
	You're the person I'm going to come to.
	Is that what you told him?
	Yeah, because you couldn't show fear.
	Actually, you know, you did all the right things, but I don't know how you could do it And you can't show intimidation.
	You can't let them get a power, an emotion that they can play off of.
	Yeah.
	Well, I've known, I've been in my life, I don't know why, but I've been put in a lot of bizarre circumstances for some reason.
	Yeah, well, yes.
	It's after it's over that I, you know, go, Oh my God!
	I'm calm when it's happening.
	All right.
	You win the award.
	I give up.
	Nobody's going to top it.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, well, thanks.
	And hey, it's great to talk to you.
	And to you as well.
	And hi, Tom.
	I got all of CNN listening to you here in Atlanta.
	The night shift at CNN.
	Tons of people.
	I got so many people turned on to you.
	This is so cool.
	Alright, well, thanks a bunch.
	Yep, see you later.
	That wins the award.
	That's it.
	Contest over.
	If it was a contest, it's over.
	That really was the date from hell.
	I mean, that's not a date.
	My God, that's a movie!
	That's a movie, and she handled that so well.
	One little mistake.
	As she said, empowering this guy with fear.
	And you've all seen the same movies I've seen.
	You know what happens?
	I know what happens.
	Police he slowly pulls the skin from her or he gets out a large needle full of blue stuff and you know, whatever
	Was to the Rockies you're on the air. Hello Hello art. Yes. Hi. Hi, this is Barbara from the Salem,
	Montana. Hi Barbara. Hi And I was just calling to some I have a kind of a white to
	keep story from Montana here Okay.
	It sounds kind of interesting.
	What is it?
	Well, apparently the people here that are on food stamps have not received their food stamps this month because the computers in California did not send them out the way they were supposed to, the way they normally do automatically.
	How do you know it's because of Y2K?
	Well, I'm not sure on the Y2K.
	I was told that it was a computer problem and it was just after the rollover from December to January.
	Did you hear what I've been saying about all circuits are busy?
	Yeah.
	You heard that earlier?
	Right.
	It just occurred to me.
	I wonder If the phone company is beginning to have Y2K related problems.
	It's possible.
	I know when I called the food stamp office here just to see what they'd say.
	Yes, they... They... It was, well, the holidays, you know, has been causing it.
	But I talked to a case worker who said it was definitely the computers.
	Alright.
	Oh, I appreciate the call.
	Thank you.
	Definitely the computers.
	I'm getting a lot of... I really should tell you all, for your sakes, that I know the way the media is playing this right now and maybe I'm a focus point for this kind of information.
	But I'm getting real serious now when I tell you I'm getting a lot of reports of Y2K related failures already occurring now in 99.
	I'm really getting a lot of reports, folks.
	So...
	You know, I don't know what that means.
	It may mean that people are going to blame every little glitch on Y2K.
	But I'm getting a lot of serious reports that do appear directly related to the date change problem.
	And that's just now, at the beginning of 1999.
	of 1999. So, you know, I think there is something to this, but I'll monitor my mail and my email,
	and I'll kind of keep you informed as we go along toward 2000.
	I'm getting a lot of stuff.
	First time caller line, actually, date from Hell Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	We've got a good date from Hell Story.
	You do?
	Where are you?
	I'm Kathy from Woodbridge, New Jersey.
	Oh, Kathy.
	Yeah, happy New Year Art.
	Thank you.
	First time this year.
	And after that story, I was thinking maybe I shouldn't tell this story because it's a little... Well, it's not risque, but it's not X-rated, but it almost got X-rated.
	And I said, after that story, forget it.
	I can tell this.
	You mean after that lady's story?
	No, that was terrible.
	That was for Dr. Laura.
	Whew!
	That was terrible.
	I don't even think Dr. Laura... Does she get stuff like that?
	Well, I think a 38-year-old woman should have known better.
	After, would you, Art, would you have got back in that car with him after the restaurant?
	After the restaurant?
	No.
	No.
	No, but Kathy, there's a certain law that applies here.
	It's the very same law that sends every woman in a low-cut dress down to the basement where the evil noise is coming from.
	That's where they always go down.
	Don't touch that door!
	Whatever you do, don't go to that door.
	Yeah, that's right.
	They go right there.
	You better believe it.
	Well, I was an idiot, too, because it was 1971 and I had three dates from hell in one month.
	Wow.
	I'll get to the one that's easy to tell.
	A girlfriend set me up.
	She said, look, I don't want to go to this house at this party.
	I want you to double date with me.
	Well, I don't even know who the hell I'm dating here, you know.
	Sure.
	And being 18 years old, you know, I'm game.
	We go to this house, and it's a very, very nice house, but four guys live in this house all by themselves.
	Four guys?
	Yeah, and they're in their 20s.
	Yeah.
	And bring some wine, you know, whatever, you know.
	And we eat a nice dinner, and they're all sitting around watching TV.
	At the stereos playing at the same time, and all hell starts to break loose.
	And the guy that I'm with, kind of a wrestling type.
	You know, the very crap short hair and big bone, almost like a linebacker, you know?
	And I have nothing in common with this guy.
	I don't even like the same kind of music, and I guess I was being a little nasty towards him.
	I told my girlfriend, I think I have to get ready to go.
	I'm only there an hour.
	And I'm getting all ready to go.
	And he splits.
	He goes, which we think is into the bathroom.
	And she says, well, why don't you say goodbye to so-and-so?
	I says, well, I'll wait till he gets out of the bathroom.
	He comes out of the bathroom wearing a robe.
	A big chenille robe.
	And then he sits down in this big chair.
	And he says, well, I just want to tell everybody something that's been on my mind.
	And then he stands up, you know Art, he stands up and drops the robe and he's bare, you know what, and around his waist he has a six-shooter.
	And then he grabs ahold of the six-shooter and he shoots two into the ceiling.
	And he says, I'm in the mood to make some love!
	I'm not kidding, Art.
	He gets up, he starts, and he goes, and it's you, Kathy!
	It's you I want!
	And he starts aiming the gun, and he's drunk as hell, and he starts aiming the gun, bang!
	And he misses me, and bang!
	Art, he was blowing this thing, forget about it.
	I took off, I ran out the back door, and Art I must have run four to six blocks.
	I never looked back.
	I got across the street, across the highway.
	I heard shots.
	The next day I asked my girlfriend, did everybody get out of there?
	And she says, yeah.
	We finally, some of the guys finally got him.
	And they tripped him after he ran around the grounds for like three or four times.
	And they hit him over the head with a bottle.
	You know what, this really isn't funny.
	Art was unbelievable.
	It wasn't funny, Art.
	I was crying.
	Of course.
	I was scared out of my mind.
	You probably thought you were going to die.
	He was yelling some really profound things, profanities at me, which I can't say over the phone, you can imagine.
	But I never went on a blind date again.
	Never again.
	Geez, and I just awarded this last lady.
	I'm telling you, I know that my girlfriend's out there.
	She's in Atlanta.
	And if you know who I am, baby, and you remember it, it was 1971, and we can still sit down, and that's the first thing they think of when they see old Cathy.
	Do they laugh now?
	Yeah, they laugh now, but it wasn't them that the gun was pointed at.
	You know, Art?
	I wouldn't be here if he hit me.
	Buck naked, buck naked with a... Buck naked and lying back, or a big neck.
	True cut.
	Yeah, I know.
	Hilarious, isn't it?
	Same kind of guys that got me in the NFL.
	It's funny now, but it wasn't funny then, man.
	Kathy, thank you.
	Thank you, Art.
	That's a close contest with the last call I had.
	My gosh.
	Walks out with a baseball and drops the robe and says, I'm in the mood for love and starts shooting.
	Really, all this makes you just feel like going down and asking somebody for a date, doesn't it?
	The world is full of Freddy Kruegers now or something.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	Is this Oddball?
	It is.
	Oh, odd.
	My name's Ray.
	I'm from Myrtle Beach.
	Yes.
	And I have what I would call a predate for hell.
	A predate, really?
	Well it's an incident that happened to me in Manhattan.
	I was working for a large real estate firm and I went over one day to cash my check at the bank and forgotten that I was smoking a cigarette.
	So when I got into the bank and it was a nicely polished floor, marble floor, I was looking for an ashtray and I couldn't find one.
	So I just cupped the cigarette and the lady in front of me in the line had a mink coat on, long beautiful hair, very attractive.
	And she turned to me and said, Would you mind putting out that cigarette?
	I said, No, but I just can't find a place right now to put it out.
	So the line progressed.
	She went ahead and did her business and then I went up to the teller and I did mine and out of the corner of my eye I saw her standing there waiting for me.
	I turned and as I did she gave me a karate kick.
	I mean just turned sideways.
	She gave you a cry?
	Oh yeah, right on the shin, you know, and it really hurt.
	She had on winter boots.
	I had on a pair of, we were all wearing western boots at that time in New York for some reason.
	It was just a thing, a fad.
	And then I turned and I kicked her.
	And I said, well let me get myself out of this bank because before you know it, she'll be screaming that I caused the incident when she actually caused it.
	When she kicked first.
	But you kicked her back.
	Listen, can you hold on?
	Yeah, sure.
	Stay right there.
	You're listening to Art Bell's Somewhere in Time on Premier Radio Networks.
	Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
	The title of this song is, I Hate The World, and it's a song that I wrote when I was in high school.
	I wrote it in the summer of 1999.
	It's a song that I wrote in the summer of 1999.
	I hate the world today.
	today.
	You're so good to me, I know, but I can't change.
	Tried to tell you, but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath.
	Innocent and sweet.
	Yesterday I cried.
	You must have been relieved to see the softer side.
	I can understand how you'd be so confused.
	I don't envy you.
	I'm a little bit of everything.
	All rolled into one.
	I'm a bitch.
	I'm a lover.
	I'm a child.
	I'm a mother.
	I'm a sinner.
	I'm a saint.
	I do not feel ashamed.
	I'm your health.
	I'm your dream.
	You know you wouldn't want it any other way So take me as I am
	This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
	And I'm going to extremes Tomorrow I will change
	And today won't mean a thing I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child
	I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint I should not feel ashamed
	I'm your health, I'm your dream I'm nothing in between
	Premier Radio Networks.
	presents our film somewhere in time tonight's program originally aired january seventh nineteen
	ninety nine you know i really have got to tell you uh... when you do
	open lines you don't screen calls
	is what usually happens it's just beyond belief that i would get two calls of the
	nature that i got the last hour
	think about it a little bit What are the odds?
	I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint I've seen a few ashamed, I'm your help, I'm your
	dream, I'm not the limit dream, no you wouldn't want it any other way.
	I'm a bitch, I'm a thief, I'm a goddess on my knees, when you're hurt, when you suffer,
	I'm your angel undercover, I've been numb, I'm revived, can't say I'm not alive, you
	can't see me, I'm your angel undercover, I've been numb, I'm revived, can't say I'm not
	alive.
	Go.
	We'll be right back.
	Anyway, we were in the middle of a story here.
	Yeah.
	So anyway, at this point, she's screaming now, and I'm saying to myself, here we are in this bank, and before I know it, the police are going to come.
	Sure, somebody's going to call them, thinking that I accosted her.
	Yeah, sure.
	And at the time, all the realtors in my group, anyway, we were all carrying guns.
	We all had permits to carry.
	So I said, I don't need this aggravation.
	I said, let me get out of here.
	I walked out the door onto Madison, and then I realized I can't go back to my office.
	She's following me.
	She's ranting and raving about the smoking.
	I apologized in the meantime to the woman.
	I said, I'm sorry.
	I didn't realize I had the cigarette.
	But anyway, she wouldn't stop.
	She's following me.
	So I turned up to Park Avenue and walked north.
	I was up to around, my office was on 47th.
	I guess I was up to 51st Street, thereabouts, on Park.
	She's still behind me.
	Back down to Madison, and on the way back down, I stopped a truck full of nuts.
	She came in the door after me, continued to scream and yell, and I got my coffee and donut, and I walked back out, and my golfing buddy at the time was the chief engineer of the Condé Nast building.
	So I walked down to his building.
	By the way, I have to ask a question.
	Had you, during all of this, since the bank, You lit up another cigarette?
	You know, I don't remember.
	I was thinking about it before, and I don't think I did.
	No.
	I was too embarrassed and occupied with this woman behind me.
	So anyway, I get down to Pat's building, and I walked in the lobby, and sure enough, in the morning, he was standing by the concierge, and I explained to him what happened in the bank.
	I said, Pat, this woman won't stop, and she's ranting in his lobby now.
	And this building is where they shoot Vogue Magazine and Glamour Magazine, all the Condé Nast publications.
	And Pat said, all right, I'll get one of the guys.
	So we got one of the guys, one of the maintenance men, and they took me up to the third floor, I think it was, and there was a staircase that emptied out into the street from there, so I didn't have to go back in the lobby.
	So he held her in the lobby.
	I got back to the office.
	Somehow, don't ask me how, because I looked all around.
	I didn't see her.
	She had a mink coat on down to the floor.
	I mean, she was a beautiful woman.
	And she must have saw me in the street and followed me anyway, because not two hours later was a call in about a bomb scare in the building.
	We had to evacuate my building.
	A bomb scare?
	It could only happen in New York City, you know what I mean?
	Yeah, I guess it was she, because You know, it was just too coincidental, you know.
	Oh, these anti-smokers, they're getting out of hand.
	That's the most horrible story.
	That's my pre-date story, anyway.
	It never came to... She was attractive.
	I was really going to ask her out, but you couldn't have stood a smoker anyway.
	Yeah, well, you know where you probably ended up?
	In a chair in the middle of the room somewhere.
	Probably.
	Horrid little story, but I appreciate it.
	Thank you.
	Take care.
	What does that remind me of?
	I saw a movie.
	Remember the movie where... What was the name of that movie?
	She finally ended up clubbing the guy's legs so he couldn't leave.
	Here's another one.
	This is from Michael in San Diego and I want to identify Michael Morton because listen to what he says here.
	I'm going to read it except for one word that I've got to modify, alright?
	Boyart Do I have a date from Hell Story for you?
	And it's all your fault.
	It's recent, too.
	Six months ago.
	I go out on a date with this 33-year-old woman who's a playwright.
	We go to bed on the first date.
	All seems sensual and good.
	I have a hard time sleeping.
	She seems to be sound asleep.
	I get up, turn her radio on, it's about one o'clock in the morning, and turn to Kogo 600.
	Richard Hoagland was on.
	I don't remember what he was saying.
	Not 15 minutes later, she wakes up, goes to the bathroom, and returns with evil on her face.
	Says, Why are you listening to Art Bell?
	I say, Um, I like his show.
	She says, My ex-husband was an Art Bell freak, she said.
	He'd never come to bed or pay attention to me or make love to me until Art Bell was over at 4 a.m.
	She cried, I effing hate Art Bell!
	Then she'd kick me out.
	Wouldn't return any calls.
	Geez, Art, Richard, thanks.
	100% true.
	one hundred percent true i thought it was about that one this is our p
	You know, when I asked for date from hell stories, I imagined humor.
	But I'm getting real date from hell stories.
	You just never know.
	You just never know.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hi Art.
	Hello there.
	This is Mike calling from Philly.
	Philadelphia.
	Listening on 1210.
	W-P-H-T, yes.
	I hate to change the mood of this, your conversation.
	It's alright.
	It's open lines.
	My question was, speaking wind and ghost wind, or ghost wolf.
	Speaking wind, yes, the late speaking wind.
	Yeah, I've heard that.
	Robert Ghost Wolf, yes.
	He was talking about the fifth world.
	Yes.
	Could the third world have been the lost city of Atlantis?
	I don't know.
	I was just wondering about that.
	You know, I'm the wrong guy to ask.
	I mean, I guess Robert Goswold might be able to answer that for you.
	I don't know.
	I'm sorry, I can't.
	I do think that we're in for a change.
	I don't know if that's a change of A present venue, as in our Earth, to another dimension, I don't know.
	And I don't know what the third dimension is.
	First time... No, Dave from HellLine, you're on the air.
	Yeah, I heard.
	I've got kind of a humorous one for you.
	Well, that'd be good, because what I've been getting lately is stark terror.
	Yeah, it actually isn't a date, it was just going out with a friend, and so...
	My friend and I had met, Mike in San Francisco by the way.
	My friend and I had just met and we had dinner at a restaurant near the symphony hall.
	From there we walked down to the symphony hall and we saw Mahler's first symphony, Michael Tilson Thomas conducting the San Francisco Symphony.
	Wonderful dinner, wonderful music, and at that point I was still driving my Geo.
	And we had walked out of the symphony and had walked up Franklin Street to my car.
	And in seven years of driving that car, I had never had any mechanical problems at all.
	And get in the car, the battery is completely, completely dead.
	Oh, yes.
	So the symphony has just run out, so traffic on this one-way street It's just terrible.
	So I get out, pop the hood, and then I think, well, I'm going to try to flag someone down to give me a jump.
	Of course.
	So I get back in the car.
	My friend is there, so he's trying to wave down somebody to give him some help.
	So I get back in the car and put the car in neutral.
	I think, well, I'm just going to back up.
	someone will be able to pull in front of my car to actually perform the jump the car.
	And at that point the power steering is off because the battery is dead of course.
	That's right.
	So I'm trying to turn the wheel, my hand slips off the steering wheel, I literally punch
	myself in the nose.
	So I'm getting out of the car, blood is like dripping from my face.
	We're trying to flag someone down to give us a job.
	People are really going to stop with blood all over the place.
	My friend said, Mike, maybe you should just pretend that you were just mugged.
	Maybe we would get some help.
	These cute girls in a jeep came by and they saw us and we waved at them and they just kind of looked at us funny and kept driving.
	They apparently went around the block and they finally stopped and gave us a jump and they said, oh you know we weren't going to stop but we figured hey everyone needs some karma in the bank so good karma for these wonderful girls.
	Who gave us a chance, so finally the evening ended, but it felt as if it was never going to.
	I hear you.
	Well, that's a moderately intriguing story.
	At least the girl's got some karma.
	Don't know what you got.
	Interesting facts.
	Art, I recall you were speaking about the crime problem in South Africa a few months back.
	Earlier tonight I watched the Fox Files episode concerning this.
	Apparently the farmers in South Africa are the victims of terrible crimes.
	Farmers arm themselves when they simply work in their fields.
	Farmers' wives have to train and carry handguns in order to go for a simple walk.
	The police are reporting that most of these terrible crimes are being committed by former farm employees not only Are these criminals robbing but they are murdering farmers and their families as well simply because of hatred according to reports Jeff in North Carolina I cannot add enough emphasis I was in South Africa as you know not long ago and in Johannesburg and then I was north of Johannesburg near the Kruger Park
	And then I was in Cape Town, and Johannesburg is a truly, truly frightening place where people are machine-gunning each other, where, you know, you really cannot imagine how bad it is.
	In America, we would consider it beyond anarchy.
	I mean, it's the Mad Max scenario.
	And Africa is one scary place right now, and I'll tell you why it's happening.
	It's basically happening because Nelson Mandela will not institute control.
	Now, as you know, apartheid ended.
	Nelson Mandela is the president of South Africa, and he's a well-intentioned man, but because he is afraid, politically, That if he were to clamp down, he would look like the previous regime.
	He's reacting in exactly the opposite way, and not clamping down on anything, and the result is beyond anarchy.
	I mean, it is a truly frightening place, and I recommend to any of you who are even considering A trip to Africa to consider very hard before you go.
	Now, this will change eventually, as all things do.
	But right now, I'm telling you right now, that Africa is one scary, crime-ridden, dangerous place to be.
	And that doesn't apply necessarily to all parts of Africa, but South Africa right now is in big trouble, crime-wise.
	Big trouble.
	They have people on the streets there, the beggars on the streets, solicit money by wearing signs, all of them now, not just some, all of them, that say, I don't do crime.
	You know, it's like, give me money because I don't do crime.
	I'm one of the few that don't do crime.
	And they're right.
	They are one of the few that don't do crime.
	Everybody else does.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	Is this Art Bell?
	It is.
	This is Kaya from Colorado.
	Kaya from Colorado.
	How you doing, Kaya?
	Uh, pretty good.
	I have a, uh, uh, date story.
	Date and health story to share.
	Okay.
	Uh, what kind of phone are you on, hun?
	I'm on a cellular phone and it's probably, uh, not great sounding.
	Alright, we'll do the best we can.
	Go ahead.
	Okay, uh, I'm, uh, A former centerfold model for a men's magazine.
	Well, many men's magazines.
	Really?
	But this one, this particular deal I was working on in California, we were doing a video shoot that was a pay-per-view thing.
	And this magazine that I was doing this for, they're probably the second most popular men's magazine around.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	So, one of the guys I was working with, he was directing the shoot, and he was the owner of the magazine, Sun.
	So, I don't want to say... Yeah, don't.
	You don't have to.
	Okay.
	Well, anyway, we did the shoot, you know, all day long.
	It was pretty fun.
	We shot in Beverly Hills.
	Afterwards, the guy asked me if I wanted to go out and do something.
	There was another girl that was working on the same thing and this other guy that was a friend of the owner's son.
	We ended up going to this place in L.A.
	called The Mousetrap.
	And a bunch of other places.
	And then we broke off into couples and I ended up going back to the hotel where I was staying with the owner's son.
	So he went to his room and I was going to go to my room.
	He actually walked me to my room and then asked if I wanted to come up to his room.
	He wanted to show me something.
	Well, actually, before that, we went into my room.
	So she was in bed with a guy?
	Yes, she was in bed with somebody.
	Since my room was occupied, I decided to go upstairs to the owner of the magazine's son's room.
	The thing was, he kept telling me that there was something that he really wanted to show me.
	Such an original line.
	So we get in there, into his room, and he starts unbuttoning his shirt.
	And I start getting sort of nervous.
	And he says, don't worry, I'm not going to touch you.
	Wait a minute, the tension is too much for me.
	We're out of break point.
	Can you do it after the break?
	Sure, I'd love to.
	Alright, good, good, good.
	I've got to hear the rest of this.
	Rarely do I get to talk to a centerfold for the second most popular men's magazine.
	This has really been some night.
	I'm Art Bell and this is Coast to Coast AM.
	As the old saying goes, don't touch that dial.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	tonight featuring a replay of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
	This is a replay of the song Coast to Coast.
	They're the talk of the town They got the tricks of flying
	They're here to dine When the sun goes falling down
	They say that the fathers are insane They're Mr. Perkins again
	We're talking about the time of the...
	Falling down Well I know you know better than everything I say
	Meet me in the country someday We'll be happy and we'll play
	Oh, this music plays But if I feel it's good to you and you feel it to me
	There ain't nothing we can do but say We're feeling good, feeling fine
	This music plays Oh
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Good morning, everybody, from the high desert where it's about 45 degrees out there right now.
	Actually, rather moderate.
	That's plus Fahrenheit, 45 degrees.
	I can leave the fallen river, rounding camp of the river.
	Alright, I want you to listen to me very, very carefully now, alright?
	I'm about to tell you of two things that you should have for whatever may come this way.
	I'm gonna go get a drink.
	One of them is storable food, and I've been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting to be able to tell you about this.
	No, you know what?
	I've got a young lady on the line who's on a cellular, and she's a centerfold, and you don't keep centerfolds waiting, so I will tell you about all of this After we go back, sure, because I'm really curious.
	So get out your pen and pencil and give you time to get that all together.
	Are you still there?
	Yes, I'm here.
	Okay.
	So where were we?
	Okay.
	We were in the hotel room.
	With the son of the publisher.
	Owner.
	Right.
	Right.
	Of the second most popular men's magazine.
	Yes.
	Okay, so, like I said, he wanted to show me something.
	So, okay, I'm up there, and he starts unbuttoning his shirt.
	I'm getting nervous, and he starts playing with his nipples.
	And now I'm really getting nervous, and he says that, you know, don't worry, he's not going to touch me, he just wants to show me something.
	And, uh, so I know on the radio, so I'm just going to try to, um, say this, you know, without saying anything wrong here, but, um, Then he takes off his pants and he's not wearing any underwear.
	Now, are you sure that I can go here?
	I mean, we're on national radio here.
	Well, I'm going to tell you what he did.
	And I'm not going to use the wrong words.
	But I'm not certain I really want to know what that was.
	Well, maybe I want to know, but I don't know if I want to know on the air.
	It's unbelievable.
	I mean, I have never, ever, ever seen this before in my life.
	Alright, well I've got a button that erases seven seconds here.
	You go ahead and tell me, and we'll see.
	So?
	Well, okay.
	He laid down on the floor.
	Yeah?
	And he rolled his legs, like, up.
	So he was sort of standing on his shoulders.
	Yeah.
	Then he rolled his legs back, sort of like touching the ground, um, like over his, his head.
	No, I'm afraid that we couldn't go there.
	On another show, we might have been able to go there.
	But I'm not going there.
	Not, not, not at all.
	Not at 2.30 in the morning or 3 or 4 or 5.30 or whatever it is in the morning.
	I'm not going there.
	I'm sure it was for you, young lady, a horrible, horrible experience.
	As well as something that probably should be immediately reported to some wholly-owned subsidiary of, you know, the Guinness Book of World Records or something, but... Phew!
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yeah, thanks for sparing us from that.
	Oh.
	Oh, you just... Yeah, I just got some visuals on it.
	Oh.
	Anyway, this is Dave from... KSFO?
	Yes.
	Great show.
	Yeah, I was wondering, you know, I just... I made some Christmas gifts, some checks to people for Christmas, and I'm getting these emails back from these people saying that the checks are coming back from the bank and saying insufficient address, not insufficient funds.
	And I just got off the phone, believe it or not... How does that mean?
	Well, this is what I wanted to find out.
	So then I, maybe an hour ago, I was just on the phone with my bank, and I won't mention which one it is, but it might be of whatever.
	And I go, well, what's happening here?
	And they're like, well, no, we don't show anything like that.
	And I go, what does insufficient address mean?
	Right.
	And they're like, we, you know, we honestly, we don't know.
	I don't show any checks being bounced back.
	I go, well, you know, they have them in their hands and they're coming from you.
	So I'm kind of thinking maybe this is another, Y2K glitch?
	At this point, I'm calling somebody back who's got one of these insufficient address stamps on my check, and I'm going to cart it down to my bank and say, what the hell's this?
	Well, what I'm going to do is, these people are obviously, I mean, they're down in Laguna Beach, but what I'll have to do is, well, maybe it's on their bank site or something, but I've never even heard of that before, so I'll check into it, obviously, tomorrow.
	And I was wondering, something else, have you noticed That after we bombed Iraq, I was, and this was in December, in a four-week period of time, you had, you know, remember when the Russians, you know, protested against it?
	Yes.
	Everybody was like, yeah, big deal, the Russians.
	Yeah.
	Well, when I read these articles, it was real quick, it was Russia and Belarus got together, then the EU got real cozy with the Chinese, and then the Chinese, Russian, and India want to get together and have a strategic Uh, what they call a strategic triangle.
	And then Russia deployed those nuke missiles, uh, and they're all combat ready.
	And this is within a four week span.
	And I haven't even heard this on the news.
	I just caught this at different, uh, wire services on the net.
	And when you look at all of this stuff, and Russia's going to export 20% more weapons down to the, to the Arabs because they're exploiting, you know, their obvious hatred of us now.
	When you look at it and put all these stories together, It's almost like, you know, in one month of December, the whole world literally shifted, and we've been, like, totally isolated.
	I don't know if you've been following that, or... Yeah, I'm following it.
	Okay.
	I follow all the news all the time.
	I'm a news junkie.
	It's amazing just the speed of how that happened over that short period of time.
	It is, and I've seen it occur as well.
	I really appreciate your call.
	Okay.
	Thank you very much.
	he's of course exactly correct west of the rockies you're on the air
	Hi.
	Yes, uh... Okay, uh... Hey, uh... I didn't... I've been listening.
	I don't... Evidently, there must be a delay or something on the transmission.
	Are you on the air now?
	Yeah.
	Six-second, uh... seven-second delay, actually.
	Yeah.
	So if you say something bad, I can erase it, like you were never there.
	Yeah, this is Jeff in Santa Monica, California.
	Do you hear that we had a power outage on this side of the continent?
	When?
	I would say about 1025, for about 20 minutes.
	In Santa Monica?
	In Santa Monica, what do you call it, Palos Verdes, down there in San Pedro.
	And what are they saying caused it?
	They don't know yet.
	But it just knocked out the whole area.
	The whole area was black.
	And I was thinking, oh boy, this could be the first symptoms of the Y2K stuff with the controllers in the power station.
	You know what I think?
	I think that... Thank you very much for the information.
	I think that if this kind of stuff begins to happen, they're not going to say... They're not going to tell us the truth.
	They're not going to tell us that it's Y2K related.
	I bet you they won't tell us.
	A lot of that information, I'll bet you, will be held back.
	But you know me, I think that way.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	All right, I thought this was the Date From Hell line.
	Oh, it is.
	Thank you.
	It is?
	Okay, very good.
	How you been?
	Listen, listen, I got a story about a date from hell.
	All right.
	All right, this is the Bronx brother.
	I was 17 years old, went into Times Square.
	It's a different kind of date, because I was actually soliciting a prostitute.
	Okay?
	There in the Bronx?
	No, this is in Manhattan, Times Square.
	Manhattan, all right.
	Okay, so I'm 17 years old, I'm high on acid, and we're cruising around Times Square, and I see this girl.
	She's a big girl, right?
	So, you know, she says, hey, are you looking for a date?
	I'm like, yeah, I'm looking for a date.
	So she jumps in the car.
	Well, then she's actually solicited you.
	Right.
	Well, I was looking for something.
	She solicited me.
	You were cruising to be solicited.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Being 17 and, you know, all that, and pretty stoned at the time.
	But so, we're cruising around Times Square, and she's sitting next to me, and I'm noticing, you know, she's an awful big girl.
	And, you know, the neon lights are rather strong in Times Square, and I just happened to look over at the right time, and I saw the neon light hitting off the 5 o'clock shadow.
	And I realized I had a six-foot-two transvestite in the car with me.
	And I'm like, I'm like to my friend, hey man, pull the car over here, okay?
	And he's like, what's wrong, Joe?
	And I'm like, well listen, just pull the car over here.
	And suddenly the transvestite's like...
	What's wrong, honey?
	What's wrong?
	I'm like, look, get out of the car.
	Come on, baby, you're with me.
	You're my date.
	I'm like, get out of the freaking car now.
	And then I just went ballistic and basically booted her out of the car.
	And that was my date for Mel.
	Well, that's a good one.
	That's a great one.
	I'm surprised you had the guts to come on the air and tell a national audience about that.
	Oh, hell yes.
	Anytime.
	I swear to God, it's a true story.
	I believe you.
	I've been to New York.
	I believe you.
	You know what I think would be great?
	What?
	If you did come to New York and you and Curtis did a couple hours at WABC together.
	I wonder how Curtis would handle that.
	I think Curtis would love it.
	You think so?
	I think he would love it and I think it would be one of the greatest several hours on WABC in a long time.
	Even though they have a very strong lineup.
	It really does sound like fun.
	I think people would be going nuts, and I think you and Curtis would have a good time together.
	I'm considering it.
	All right.
	All right, thanks.
	All right, take care, man.
	I'll see you later.
	Curtis has really been going berserk lately.
	But only the people in New York and surrounding areas know that.
	We have this thing going about an hour of air time.
	I thought he was going to go to mornings.
	That's the last thing I heard.
	And I was going to go after his 5 a.m.
	hour.
	I thought, cool.
	Here's a chance to get the final hour on the air.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Good morning, Art.
	Good morning.
	This is Cindy Lou in Denton, Texas.
	Cindy, how are you?
	Good.
	I have a date from hell story to share.
	Do you?
	You know, it's like once you get something like this started, it's like a steamroller and you can't stop it, so go right ahead.
	You know there's also a book out there called that, don't you?
	Is there?
	Yes, I have a copy.
	I can email you the information on it.
	It figures.
	This was back in the early 80s, and I was going with a friend to the opening of a restaurant, We were behind a car that was driving really erratically and I suggested that we pull back a little bit and fall back and not be too close.
	Sure.
	And they were going from left to right but unfortunately we were the only ones on the road and we both came to a stop light and they were in front of us and when the light changed we noticed that the driver was the woman, there was a passenger, there was a man, he had her by the hair and was Hitting her head against the door, the driver's side door window.
	So the driver of the vehicle I was in, my date, honked his horn to tell him to go because it had turned green.
	And instead the passenger got out, started walking to my side of the door and I promptly rolled up the window and locked the door.
	Good for you.
	Yeah, I was a lot smarter than the driver.
	He went around to my date's side and I don't know what he was trying to do, but he reached in and my date grabbed a screwdriver that was between the seats and proceeded to, like he was going to stab him.
	So I screamed and grabbed the screwdriver out of his hand and finally got the guy, we got him away from the window and my friend backed up.
	And we started to go around the car, and the guy jumped out in front of us and we ran him over.
	You ran him over?
	Well, I didn't.
	That was passenger, but yeah, my driver did.
	He freaked out when he did that, which of course I did too.
	Who freaked out?
	Your date, right?
	Well, he did.
	He ran him over and then he panicked and floored it.
	And I was screaming, go back!
	I mean, did he run him over solid?
	Oh, yeah.
	His eyes met mine as we went over the top of him.
	We were in a international van, which the motor was like between the seats.
	So it was like one of those snub-nosed vehicles.
	Yeah.
	But we went on up about two or three car lengths, and I was, you know, he was trying to get away.
	He was freaking out, and I was screaming, go back!
	So then he realized I was right, and so he put it in reverse.
	Backed over the guy.
	Again?
	I'm not kidding now.
	And we backed over and we heard this thump and in my mind I just saw the visual of the guy's head popping like a grape and I freaked.
	So I got out and I had worked at the trauma center there in Amarillo so I kind of knew what to do.
	So I got out and ran over to the guy and Believe it or not, he was trying to get up and there was no visible mud.
	What?
	What, what, what?
	He was trying to get up out of the street.
	After he'd been run over twice?
	Well, obviously we had, um, straddled, he had, you know, straddled him to where he didn't actually get ran over by the tires, obviously.
	And the thump was his elbow coming up and hitting the oil pan.
	I'm sorry.
	Now it's funny that it was very traumatic, but... Oh, that's a horrible story.
	Well, as I was holding him there, trying to keep him from getting up, because obviously he had been injured, and I was yelling at cars to call the police and an ambulance.
	The cars were going by watching us.
	The wife gets out of the car and starts kicking me and hitting me.
	Oh, great.
	She's attacking me as I'm trying to tell the guy, this was an accident, please be calm.
	You could be hurt.
	Just lay there and be still.
	Help's on their way.
	And so the wife's beating on you.
	She's trying to kill me.
	And the police come up and literally peel her off of me.
	Yeah?
	And the ambulance takes him and they go off to where I work, basically.
	It was my night off.
	They took him to my job.
	And the police were trying to get me to press charges for assault and I wouldn't do it.
	And I said, think about it.
	If someone ran over my husband and backed over him again, I'd probably be a little upset, too.
	Yeah, sure!
	But, I mean... Well, believe it or not, they got her and him both arrested that night.
	He was released, treated and released after the x-ray.
	He had nothing but a skinned elbow.
	A skinned elbow?
	And they got him on five different charges.
	Stolen vehicle, drugs in the trunk, I can't even remember all the other things.
	They wanted to add a fault to it, but I wouldn't press charges.
	Sounds like you didn't need to.
	No, I didn't go back out with that guy again, and I'd known him for quite some time, but I realized if he's going to freak like that, I really don't want to be with someone like that.
	And we never got to go to the restaurant.
	By the time all of this was over and I checked on the guy and realized that he wasn't injured, everything was closed.
	You know, I'm beginning to feel not very safe.
	I don't date anymore.
	You don't date anymore, huh?
	I've been married twice, been there, done that, got the papers, and I just don't go there anymore.
	I see.
	Well, I'm afraid I can't say I blame you.
	I appreciate your story.
	Thank you.
	You're welcome.
	73's art.
	Thank you back on the art.
	It must be a ham.
	It must be a ham.
	Alright, take care.
	Can you imagine being in a car, car.
	Running over somebody twice, not just forwards, but then backing up and running over them again, and you're the passenger.
	I mean, that story... West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hey, I've got a terrible date story.
	It'll have to be... the show's almost over, so if you can do a short version, go.
	Uh, short version.
	Worked for a law firm.
	Senior partner set me up on a lunch date with a visiting Japanese diplomat.
	Yes.
	The guy takes me to a sushi place.
	I don't eat sushi.
	He orders me steak.
	He cuts it up.
	Then he starts feeding it to me.
	What?
	He's feeding me steak!
	In a sushi house?
	In a sushi house.
	And he's a Japanese guy?
	He's a Japanese guy.
	Then it gets worse.
	It gets bad.
	He's taking me back to my place of work.
	It's Friday afternoon, downtown Denver, rush hour for the afternoon.
	He's driving up the street, the one-way street, the wrong way, telling me about how Japanese men keep American mistresses.
	And I'm thinking, this is just, this is ridiculous.
	Actually, they do.
	You know, and they keep them in high style, too.
	They spend a lot of money.
	So he told me.
	So, so I'm, but I'm, you know, my hands are on the dashboard thinking I'm going to die because we're driving directly into oncoming traffic.
	He looks over at me and tells me how beautiful I am and then he looks down at his lap and says to me, you have noticeable effect on me.
	And I look at his lap briefly.
	I get the picture more than I want to get the picture.
	Well folks, this has been open line, unscreened, obviously, talk radio.
	That's the way it goes.
	Tomorrow night, we're going to have a whole raft of guests.
	And don't forget, we're going to be taping Dreamland between 1 and 4 o'clock with Stanton Treatment later today.
	For now, that's it.
	That's enough.

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