Art Bell’s January 7, 1999 Coast to Coast AM episode blends Y2K paranoia—FEMA warnings, Canadian military reserves on lockdown until March 2000, and food stamp glitches—with bizarre caller stories: a psychopath kidnapping victim forced to eat squid, a transvestite confrontation in Times Square under acid, and a diplomat’s unsettling one-way street stunt. While dismissing fringe theories like Y2K-driven riots or occult threats, Bell highlights humanity’s fragility amid tech dependence and geopolitical shifts, from Russia’s missile deployments to the U.S.’s perceived isolation. The episode underscores how fear—of systems failing or strangers’ intentions—exposes both societal vulnerabilities and the absurdity of modern anxieties. [Automatically generated summary]
From the high desert and the great American Southwest, I bid you all good evening or good morning, as the case may be.
And welcome to yet another edition of Weird.
From the Hawaiian and Asian Islands outwest, eastward to the Caribbean and the U.S. Virgin Islands, South into South America, north all the way to the Pole.
UFO lobbyist in Washington, D.C. Joseph Burmage, the gazillionaire who had a lot to do with the release of the MJ-12 documents.
Dr. Stephen Greer, and I know a lot of you want to hear from Dr. Stephen Greer again.
Richard C. Hoagland, Peter Gerston, William J. Burns, James, and I still can't pronounce James' last name, but he has something to do with the Society for Planetary Study Research, and Jim Mars.
So as you can see, it's going to be a very, very full night.
As a matter of fact, very full.
Now, let's see what's in the news.
Well, the entire Senate is due to go behind closed doors Friday morning to try and hash out impeachment trial details.
I wonder if they'll do faster work when the cameras are off.
On Thursday, with Chief Justice William Rehnquist presiding, the Senate somberly placed William Jefferson.
Clinton on trial for high crimes and misdemeanors, the first presidential impeachment in 131 years.
The White House is promising a compelling case for acquittal.
I wonder who their lawyer will be.
What does Clinton need as a lawyer?
Something about the dress fitting, you know.
anyway um...
let's see what else um...
are we There is some indication that Richard Butler, you know, Onscom's guy, thinks that the U.S. might have had their fingers in what the U.N.'s been doing somehow, and I wonder if that could be true.
By the way, back on the subject of the President for just a moment.
Someone just sent me the following.
they are not predict for nineteen ninety nine that if president clinton does get thrown out of office his approval rating will go to one hundred percent it uh...
We were talking about intelligent vegetables last night, you recall?
Or vegetables with consciousness, or plants with consciousness, and that, of course, inevitably leads to a discussion of what vegetarians eat.
And from Atlanta, Georgia, somebody writes the following book, I'm a vegetarian, not because I love animals, but because I hate vegetables.
That's an email.
Somebody also sent me, now this one strikes close to home, Nevada Power Company, a letter from, you know, I get all these power company letters.
Everybody's writing to them.
And I mean everybody, because listen to this.
Nevada Power answers to this user.
We are in receipt of your recent letter regarding the year 2000 readiness of Nevada Power Company.
Due to numerous inquiries received daily, we are unable to respond to individual questions.
Whenever possible, frequently asked questions will be addressed on the internet site, website address listed below.
And they go on to say that, of course, they've implemented a program to identify correct application and systems-related 2000 issues some time ago, and we fully expect the company, this company anyway, it says, will identify date-related issues in our software, hardware, and databases, including embedded processor systems, if any, which could impact the products and services you purchase.
Now, they do mention the possibility of unforeseen events, though they don't anticipate any power outages.
They say there could be unforeseen events.
So none of these letters they ever get back, except maybe from Social Security, because they claim they're compliant, right?
Ever say, don't, not worry, we have it all under control, it's fixed.
The only one saying that now, as far as I know, would be Social Security.
And even they can't tell you where you would cash the check.
Federal Emergency Management Agency or FEMA officials are urging the emergency management fire and emergency services communities and the public to hurry up and get ready for Y2K.
They say it is very important that counties, municipalities, school districts, and other organizations that have not yet begun work on Y2K start now.
That was Mike Walker, the FEMA deputy director.
And so while they say they too don't think there will be big problems, they admit there will be some things that could happen that could actually turn into big problems.
Here's a brand new story indicating that ocean temperatures are giving scientists insights into El Niño's impact, and while they thought it was going away, they apparently still see signs that El Niño is here.
Quoting, yet El Niño's unexpected reluctance to depart reminds scientists they still have a lot to learn about our planet's most important short-term climate oscillation.
So this comes from the Christian Science Monitor, by the way, San Francisco.
The greatest El Niño of the century ended abruptly six months ago or did it because satellite data is now suggesting that recovery from the record-breaking warmth that spread across the Equatorial Pacific and disrupted worldwide weather has stalled, according to the Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena.
The JPL report added a cautionary note to El Niño researchers discussions during last month's meeting.
So in other words, boiled down to the bottom, it's still out there.
Here's one from ABCNews.com asking, why are we confident that our sun will burn reliably for yet a few billion more years?
Some sun-like stars have hiccuped.
Now, what do you think that means?
Hiccuping.
A hiccuping star.
Occasionally spewing out a burst of light so bright that it would melt ice on the moons of Saturn.
Now think about that.
Says a Yale University astronomer, Bradley Schaefer, they are very huge flares.
I'm calling them super flares.
You start looking at the underlying star and you find they are really disturbingly similar to our sun.
So in other words, at any moment with no warning, here's a scientist at Yale saying there could be a super flare that, of course, obviously were we to be hit with it, that would be an Ellie, as I said in contact.
An Ellie.
Life-extinguishing event.
And though I never said that I was going to read another one of these, I can't help myself.
Someone sent me this earlier.
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming frustrated with the no-haggle attitude of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price.
Well, the shopkeeper said, by all means, be my guest.
Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one.
So, more determined than ever, our blonde turns and heads for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home when he spotted the woman standing waist-deep in the water, shotgun in hand, Bill's shotgun.
Just then, comes a huge nine-foot alligator swimming rapidly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauls it up onto the bank.
Lying nearby were several more dead alligators.
Shopkeeper watched in amazement as she flipped the alligator on its back and frustrated shouted out, damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either.
That does not mean that I'm starting nor soliciting a new round of blonde jokes.
It just means, because you know what happened?
I started getting, I found out there weren't any new blonde jokes.
I got all the best ones, and then all I got was recycling of old ones, but this was a new one, so I couldn't resist.
Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either.
All right, listen.
It's all open lines tonight.
That means anything you want to talk about.
However, I am going to open one special line, and it will be what is normally known as my first time caller line.
And I intend to call it the date from hell line.
Now, I haven't dated in about a million years.
So I wouldn't know.
I can recall many years ago, some hellish dates.
Boy, I'll tell you, there can be hellish dates.
dates where, well have you ever, You know, have you ever had somebody walk in the room?
And the moment they walk in the room, you know you hate them.
They are the wrong kind of person for you.
I mean, you just take an instant, absolute, inexplicable dislike to everything about them.
Don't like the way they look, don't like the way they sound, don't like what they say, don't like their personality.
You know, slugs of human beings, wastes of flesh and stuff.
Can you imagine being stuck with a prison like that on a blind date?
Yeah, that happened to me a couple of times.
It's horrible.
Absolutely horrible.
Anyway, so I thought that'd be fun.
So I hereby, until I get tired of it, appropriate my first time caller line.
First time caller line.
Everybody else hang up.
Shall now be my date from hell line.
It's giving equal opportunity to men and women calling in.
And then there's even the more subtle date from hell when you begin finding out about the person.
You find out you have absolutely nothing in common.
Everything you love, she hates.
Everything she loves, you hate.
And yet you are now companioned with this person for the better part of a terrible evening.
And then, of course, there are disasters that occur during even a good date.
Sometimes real disasters.
anyway that's what that line is going to be tonight and we will be back with open lines in a moment the the I had a really interesting conversation with Larry King earlier today on the phone.
Maybe, maybe, I'm going to go on Larry King's show.
Larry King did this program, you know, prior.
Well, he didn't do this program.
He did a late back program for years and years and years and years, and we have a lot in common.
And we would like to talk about that.
I think that might be fun.
So I'm contemplating that.
Larry King Live.
But I think that what I'm going to do is say, well, I'll go there if you'll come on my show and be, you know, do a guest thing on my show.
Now, how many years has it been since he's been back on nighttime radio?
It'd be kind of fun to get him here to interview him.
Turn the tables.
That's what I've been thinking about today.
Since earlier when I talked with him, he was a very nice chap.
Yeah, and like I was saying, kind of a semantic thing.
When people think date from hell, it's like, in my case, being a male, it would be her.
She was the date from hell, but most of the dates from hell that I've had were because, you know, coming up when you're younger, you know, dating, because I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to say, and you're exploring the whole thing.
And it can be a real nightmare where you're not going to be able to do it.
the whole point in making it eight from hill initially mean that they It means that hell, even the one down there with the fire and all that, is probably of our own making.
This is Coast to Coast A.M. If you're listening to our bell, somewhere in time, tonight featuring a replay of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Some loving had me a blessed loving happen.
I met a girl crazy for me.
Never mind you to me.
From the days, dripping away, the whole summer night.
Well, well, well, I'm rich.
Tell me more, tell me more, get your chicken and every part.
Tell me more, tell me more, why can't we have a food?
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
She's the family, she got a crown.
Here I find the girl who got one to tell.
She's the life, she nearly drowned.
You know, the rock's flashing around Some sun, some sun, blue, blue, blue, blue For this stuff on her nights Tell me more, tell me more What's
up, I just want Tell me more, tell me more Me too, what a fuck for you To the morning, in the arcade We were some trash lemonade We went out to the dark
You're listening to ourselves somewhere in time on Free Youth Radio Networks tonight, an on-court presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
And that's the eighth anthem, that song, because the whole point of that song, he was saying people do things and people get killed, and we should change our behavior so people don't die needlessly.
I was wondering, I was looking on the website yesterday, and I saw the transcript of the conversation with Hoagland, and I guess I think it said an unidentified source in the military about some kind of a strategic strike that was going to come along.
Well, it would be like a large, well, it's kind of hard to explain in a short amount of time, But it would be a lightweight square orbiting about maybe four times the distance out from the moon,
and it would be divided up into sectors with like Venetian blinds over it, which filter out the ultraviolet, and then it could control the sunlight going through so that we could.
SOHO, the satellite they've got monitoring our sun right now, has been on and off and on and off, fixed and broken, fixed and broken, fixed and broken.
And if we had something out there, I see exactly what you're saying, that would, if you put it out at the right distance, it would literally shade the entire Earth or filter out whatever you want to filter out.
He said you get a spacecraft out there far enough, just the right distance between the Earth and the Sun, some number of moon lengths from the Earth, and you literally, at that point, filter all light that would be moving toward the Earth in the way you desired, and that really actually might work.
What do I know?
I'm just a tonsho host, but it might work.
It's just one of those things that I don't think I would trust.
I really don't think I would trust it.
Could that be done?
Is there any physicist in the audience who could tell me if that would actually be possible?
And when the market is not doing so well, the Internet stocks tend to be the first to go.
unidentified
Yes, you're right.
But I was wondering what you thought, or if you had any other listeners that would be able to answer my question from a legal point of view, eventually, like, for example, Amazon.com, which has yet to see a dollar in profit, and their losses are mounting, I was wondering what would happen,
well, God forbid, one day the day of reckoning came and basically these stocks crashed and taking with them maybe trillions of dollars in pent-up investor hopes and dreams, would the brokerages that have been recommending them week after week through publicity be legally and morally responsible?
yes i got just so happened yet well forgets my point on just have a poor mile old greece album from the seventies i got my birthday and i've got the complete soundtrack album yes so do i if you could please please please plant frankie valley to it again degrees Yes.
My question, got me there yesterday morning.
I was listening to the radio, and I don't know if you've heard a story that there's a report out of Southern California, Orange County, that there had been fire ants reported.
Don't know if you've heard anything about that yet.
They had a big write-up in the U.S. Say Today article last month about it, and I was kind of astonishing because I just moved here from Southern California a few months ago.
Down here in the South, fire ants just peripherate everywhere.
They cover about the whole region down here.
You can't miss them hardly, especially out in the summertime, whether you're out in your front lawn or out in the grass somewhere.
And if you step in the wrong place you can have fire ants um at about crotch level in I don't know a minute and a half and it's it's pretty exciting for a while.
I mean it's it's really horrible.
If you get in the wrong place uh I did that a couple of times East of the Rockies you're on the air.
unidentified
Hello?
You see Mr. Bell I have a way to bypass all your callers.
Even possibly strengthening them and going beyond what we have now.
I mean, we've got a few problems even now.
All right, well, listen, we've got to hold it right there, Vince, for now.
I just want you to think about that.
Tonight's secret numbers, by the way, are 101, 77, and 18.
That's 101, 77, and 18.
those are important numbers love is good love is strong we gotta get right back to where we started on Those who finally encode all my numbers will know the world's great secrets.
unidentified
You're listening to Art Bell Somewhere in Time on Premier Radio Networks.
Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
And if you get hurt, if you get hurt by the little things like me, I can put that smile back on your face.
When it's all right and it's coming on, we've got to get right back to where we started from.
Love is good, love will be strong, we've got to get right back to where we started from.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Like I, like I. You never made a fair.
And the winds only got in dreams.
Why don't they understand?
It's just a crime and shame.
Well, it's a lion only we're real.
We stop and find right now.
We got to be what we feel.
We see the word.
It's our feeling.
This is the time.
It's a way to emotion.
We're the way we are feeling.
We take the pressure and we throw away conventionality.
Belongs to younger days.
There is a chance we can make it far.
We start to leave it now.
We can be who we are.
We give word.
It's got meaning.
It's the time, it's the place, it's the motion.
We do the way we are feeling This is a life of illusion Cracked up with trouble Makes me confused Premier.
Radio Networks presents Art Bell Somewhere in Thought.
Tonight's program originally aired January 7th, 1999.
You're not going to learn anything new because the Senate is going to have a closed-door session to decide how they're going to do whatever it is they're going to do.
So you're not going to see much tomorrow.
Too bad.
I'm wondering if they're going to close this thing to the American public and we're not going to be able to see it.
Me, I want a nice spectacle to be able to watch during the daytime when I'm awake.
Instead of the usual daytime fare, I realize it will upset zillions of housewives across the nation.
But who cares?
anyway we'll be right back with whatever it is you want to talk about the Sometimes, you know, you listen to Ed Dames and you say, ah, Ed Dames.
Remember he was talking about a flare from the sun?
Well, today I'm bombarded.
I mean, I am just bombarded with, here, for example, in the Los Angeles Times today.
The Los Angeles Times.
The article is, some stars emit destructive flares.
Astronomy, cold.
If our sun produced such phenomena, they would destroy Earth's ozone layer.
Scientists call it unlikely.
Now, you talk, you know, about these things, and they seem far out and impossible, and then all of a sudden, months later, the media is now being flooded with what the sun is doing or might do, and scientists are speculating about an LE from the sun, you know, something that would end all life.
An extinction-level event, I believe it was, right?
We're also doing our date from hell line, just because I feel like doing that tonight.
Art Bell, I've been trying to call you for three years, over three years, it says.
I'm listening to you on KBC.
Are you live?
Of course I'm live.
There's a big rumor going around that I'm not live.
I'm live.
Today is, here on the West Coast, 1799 at 11.14 and 45 seconds.
Back in my 20s, when I were cute, oh, I dated, like, these I went out with these really attractive and spoiled women, like, like, you know, pretty much equally separated within a six-week period.
And they wanted to go out with me because I was cute.
So we went out and Did you feel like a piece of meat?
Land may be a little worse because it would throw up so much dirt and grit that would block out the sun that would have catastrophic results on our weather for those that remained alive.
If it hit water, of course, why a lot of our coastal cities are immediate toast.
So a couple of bad options, but I guess water might be better from my point of view here in Nevada anyway.
Having to rush to the hospital your date because you just broke their nose.
When you break your nose, there's a lot of bleeding that goes on.
what was that movie where it was so so funny it was Chevy Chase in one of the it was I don't think was any vacation movies he did but it was Anyway, he had supernatural powers.
And just say it.
Modern Problems.
Yeah, that was a movie.
That's my wife.
She's only watched it 16 times.
One of the funniest scenes that I've ever seen in my whole life was when Chevy was sitting there, and he caused this guy who was at a table with the gal that he wanted to be with to begin having a nosebleed.
Now, this is not your average nosebleed.
By the time it was over, it looked like the carotid artery had been cut and was pouring straight out of this guy's nose.
Oh, it was horrible.
And you can imagine the people in the restaurant, probably a lot of you have seen that scene.
That's kind of what that reminded me of when that young lady just told me about her date.
On the international line, you're on the air.
Hi.
unidentified
Yes, hello, Art.
I'm just following up the call from the guy in Winnipeg a little while ago.
And I live in Summerland, which is actually in B.C. It's a small town.
And I found out that all of the RCMP officers in there are given no holiday leave from New Year's until I think it's April of year 2000 to handle with whatever problems there may be.
And I'm talking like a town with 10,000 people in it only.
Well, they didn't riot in Green Bay when And they probably should have, too.
I almost rioted here for them.
All right, listen, I gotta run.
Thank you.
We're at the bottom of the hour.
That was such a rip-off.
I hope you 49er fans are happy.
I don't see how you can possibly go into the playoffs with your heads held high, knowing your team earned its way into the playoffs, not after what I saw.
No, sir, Reese, sir.
Yeah, I almost threw something in support of Green Bay in my living room, but I didn't.
I didn't.
I'm Art Bell, and this is Coast to Coast AM.
unidentified
You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
Tonight featuring a replay of Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
Music by Ben Thede.
I don't get asking what's going on.
I don't hear gas, get it started, stop me.
Don't say that you love me.
I don't hear gas, get it started, stop me.
I don't hear gas, get it started, stop me.
You're listening to Art Bell Somewhere in Time on Premier Radio Networks.
Tonight, an oncour presentation of Host to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
Yeah, but you know how it is sometimes when you're talking about other issues besides the dates.
But what happened was a few years ago, there was a young lady, beautiful, beautiful, I mean just undescribably beautiful, and I'd gotten to know her through conversations and whatnot, so we started dating.
And we'd been on dates for a few weeks, you know, movies, dinner, whatnot.
And so on this particular date, she had invited me to stay the night with her, which, of course, I didn't refuse.
But her roommate came home and I guess had figured out that I was in there and started tearing the house up.
And I thought, well, this is kind of strange.
And she, of course, got up and went out and confronted her.
and they started tear the house up and i thought with this they Yeah, I mean, you know, so I got up and got on my clothes quickly and went in there and the house was turned upside down, you know, and so I intervened.
I mean, these were both small women, and, you know, 6'0, 200 pounds.
So, you know, I stepped between them and I told the one, the roommate, I said, you know, that maybe it was none of my business, but that, you know, I didn't think she should be hitting, you know, the other one.
Yeah, I don't know the whole story about that, but apparently there were some protesters when Prime Minister Tretchen was doing some rally and the police pepper sprayed them at his orders, apparently.
At his alleged orders.
That's a bit of a bit of a peppergate going on.
I mean, these people were supposedly peaceful protesters, whatever.
It was a movie about a man named Farmer John who caused people to have car accidents, and then he buried them in his yard, and he had the best tasting bacon, etc.
Oh, my.
That he sold.
It was really funny.
But I was grossed out.
You know, people were buried, their head was sticking out the ground, and their body was under the ground.
Mr. Bell, I'm with the Center for Occult Awareness, and I'm calling because I've been informed that you're advising people to prepare for the year 2000.
have downloaded the photo that you posted on your website of the oh good millennium master you mean where i have my my I'm giving the press every opportunity.
I'll erase it sometime tonight.
But I've got my black robe on.
It says MM, Millennium Master is what that means.
Also, MM is Roman numeral for 2000, as you well know.
And I have a crown.
You can see that as well.
And I have done this to aid organizations like yours in writing hit pieces about me.
unidentified
Well, I'm sure you're going to continue to be monitored, Mr. Bell.
And that's what I did when I tried to explain what a remote viewer is, and that they're going to blow something up possibility at Shea Stadium.
He says, you know, it's basically you're nuts.
So I wrote a letter to the commanding officer of the intelligence division, which is explaining what a threat what a remote viewer is.
And it warrants at least some investigation.
I'd hate to see something happen out of Shea.
Of course.
In July, because I live in a vicinity.
But anyhow, I just thought that I wanted to let you know that I'm not even sure what a remote viewer is or if it's legitimate, but if the guy has credentials and he did work for NSA and this and that, it warrants further study.
That was sort of a lifelong dream of mine to get WABC's old jingle package.
And I grew up with that.
I grew up with that, Cousin Brucey.
WABC, boy, I grew up with that.
And no matter where I moved around the northeast part of the country, WABC was always there, always there, because they've got a signal that's everywhere in the northeast and beyond.
All right, this is Coast to Coast AM doing not much of anything, and we'll be right back to do some more of it.
unidentified
You're listening to Art Bell Somewhere in Time on Premier Radio Networks.
Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
If you love her, then you must send her somewhere where she's never been before.
Morning praises and morning gazes will get you where you want to go.
Burn up, something can do with her.
you want to know by now you want to know by now you want to know you want to know you want to know Pretty woman, walking down the street.
Pretty woman, a man I like to meet.
Pretty woman, I don't believe you, you.
No one could open to you.
No one could open to you.
Pretty woman would be but me, pretty woman.
I couldn't help be woman.
I couldn't believe it.
You only won, oh my god,
I'm a man.
You're listening to Art Bell somewhere in time.
Tonight featuring a replay of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
I've been listening to your show for a couple of years, and I just wanted to say that it's nice to get through.
I've never tried Colin before, but I just wanted to talk about a couple things, Art.
Okay.
The first thing I want to talk about as far as UFOs, I know it's not, this is probably your dateline event, but my father, like yourself, was in the Air Force, and he was in the Air Force from 72 to 74, stationed at Whiteman Air Force Base.
And he had the highest security coordinates you could get at the time, which was top secret crypto.
And I found that out when I was about eight years old.
And I asked him, you know, as far as UFOs, because I've always been interested in things like that.
And he had told me that the analogy he gave me, and I firmly believe this, he's always been honest and man of integrity.
The analogy that he used was that you may walk down by a ravine and see something and just have no idea what it is and keep walking.
And that was his explanation for it.
So as far as that, I can pretty much debunk whatever people don't want to believe.
And if we know that there's intelligent life on this planet, there's obviously going to be intelligent life elsewhere.
So I just wanted to say that for all the people that don't believe in UFOs and that, I think a lot of them can be dismissed as experimental aircraft and then flying over people's homes and whatnot at strange hours of the night.
But if you look at F-117, 117 assault fighter, it kind of looks like something that didn't really evolve here.
And what people should consider is that the F-117 is now really old news, even though it's alien-like.
And so you can only imagine, I mean, you have to imagine that they are several generations beyond that with whatever they're testing at Area 51, several generations beyond.
And so what would that look like?
I mean, that really is a safe assumption, isn't it?
My date from hell, I guess it was really more embarrassing than anything, but I had a second date with this guy, and I thought I was going to the movies.
Well, he was a truck driver.
And he said he had to take a trailer to Delaware, which is not too far from here.
Right.
So I'd never been in one before.
And I thought, well, that might be interesting.
So we have to go over across the Bay Bridge.
And it's very high, and I'd always been over in a car, never higher up, in a cab.
And we dropped the trailer off, and on our way back, you know, I don't know the term for it, but I thought it was dogging or bulldogging when you're just in the cab and the trailer's not there.
You know, it's like you go to my website and you click on listen live and audio or whatever it is, and you go over there and listen to Dreamland as we do it.
Yeah, no, listen, I understand exactly what you're saying.
If you are not dependent on modern-day what we consider to be just conveniences that are almost automatic, and you're not dependent on those in the first place, and everything goes away, you don't care.
It doesn't bother you a whip.
unidentified
Well, what we take for granted is what happens.
You know, like you said before, you turn on a light switch, it always comes on.
I had a friend that was a scout leader with me, and she was divorced for many years, and she called me one day and said, I'm really worried about my ex-husband.
He seems to be depressed.
He had never remarried.
And I wonder if you'd go out with him because he just needs somebody to talk to.
Doesn't that sort of start the alarm bells ringing right away?
Depressed ex-husband?
unidentified
Well, I didn't think too much about it because when I had a lot of friends that knew divorced people, and they would call me and say, so-and-so just got divorced.
Would you go out with them because they're just kind of, you know, out of the loop and they need somebody?
So I would, I felt like, you know, a halfway house for like divorced people.
you're listening to art bell somewhere in time tonight featuring a replay of coast to coast a m from january seven nineteen ninety nine yeah The heart is on fire.
My soul's like a wheel that's turning.
My love is a life.
You're the devil in the sky, or you are the devil in the sky.
You fool me with your kisses.
You cheated and you steal.
Heaven knows how you lie to me.
You're not the way you see.
You look like an angel, walk like an angel.
Talk like an angel.
But I got word.
You're the devil's God.
Oh, yes, you are the devil's God.
I thought that I was in heaven, but I was just surprised.
Heaven helped me I didn't see the devil in your eyes.
You look like an angel, look like an angel.
Walk like an angel, walk like an angel.
Talk like an angel, but I got one.
You're listening to Art Bell Somewhere in Time on Premier Radio Networks.
Tonight, an on-tour presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7th, 1999.
So in the morning, about 10 o'clock, he gets up and he's got a station wagon.
And he starts throwing all this camping gear in it.
And I said, they're really going to be worried.
I mean, they're scared.
I haven't come home all night.
I have got to get home.
I've got to call you.
And I was extremely calm with him.
And so he said, no, we're going fishing.
We're going up in the mountains.
And I said, no, I don't think so.
And I talked to him for a while.
And I finally did get home around noon the next day.
And I said, they're going to have the police out.
The people know who I'm with, and they're going to be looking for you.
And I suggest you take me home immediately to head this off because the kids are going to be getting up.
They're going to call your ex-wife and people are going to start looking for us.
So I'm not going fishing.
I'm not going to the mountains.
I'm going home.
I'm going home now.
And he didn't say another word, got in the car and silently drove me home, dropped me off.
And I went inside and called his ex-wife.
And I said, what?
What?
Were you thinking?
And I told her, and she goes, oh, I thought he was overall.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
And she's like, well, that's why I divorced him because he held a shotgun on me when I was pregnant.
And then I heard all these other bizarre stories about him.
And so she goes, well, I was really worried because his last girlfriend disappeared, and we didn't know any family that she had, and we can't find her.
Well, apparently the people here that are on food stamps have not received their food stamps this month because the computers in California did not send them out the way they were supposed to, the way they normally do automatically.
definitely the computers i'm getting a lot of art But I'm getting real serious now when I tell you, I'm getting a lot of reports of Y2K-related failures already occurring now in 99.
I'm really getting a lot of reports, folks.
So, you know, I don't know what that means.
It may mean that people are going to blame every little glitch on Y2K, but I'm getting a lot of serious reports that do appear directly related to the date change problem.
And that's just now, at the beginning of 1999.
So, you know, I think there is something to this.
But I'll monitor my mail and my email, and I'll kind of keep you informed as we go along toward 2000.
I'm getting a lot of stuff.
First time caller line, actually, date from hell line.
And after that story, I was thinking maybe I shouldn't tell this story because it's a little, well, it's not risque, but it's not x-rated, but it almost got x-rated.
Well, it's an incident that happened to me in Manhattan.
I was working for a large real estate firm, and I went over one day to cash my check at the bank and forgotten that I was smoking a cigarette.
So when I got into the bank, and it was a nicely polished floor, marble floor, I was looking for an ashtray, and I couldn't find one.
So I just cut the cigarette.
And the lady in front of me in the line had a mink coat on, long, beautiful hair, very attractive.
And she turned to me and said, would you mind putting out that cigarette?
I said, no, but I just can't find a place right now to put it out.
So the line progressed.
She went ahead and did her business.
And then I went up to the teller and I did mine.
And out of the corner of my eye, I saw her standing there waiting for me.
And I turned, and as I did, she gave me a karate kick.
I mean, just turned sideways.
Oh, yeah, right on the shin, you know, and it really hurt.
So she had on winter boots.
I had on a pair of, we were all wearing Western boots at that time in New York for some reason.
It was just a thing, a fad.
And then I turned and I kicked her.
And I said, well, let me get myself out of this bank because before you know it, she'll be screaming that, you know, I caused the incident when she actually caused it.
And you're listening to Art Bell Somewhere in Time on Premier Radio Networks.
Tonight, an encore presentation of Coast to Coast AM from January 7, 1999.
The Black Mermaid is a production of the U.S. Department of State.
I hate the world today.
You're so good to me, I know, but I can't change.
Tried to tell you, but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath.
Innocent and sweet.
Yesterday I cried.
Must have been relieved to see the softer side.
I can understand how you get so confused.
I don't envy you.
I'm a little bit of everything All rolled into one I'm a bitch, I'm a lover I'm a child, I'm a mother I'm a sinner, I'm a date I do not feel ashamed I'm your help, I'm your dream I'm nothing in between You know you wouldn't want it any other way Take me as I am.
Maybe you'll have to be the man.
You're the winner.
I have to make it hurt.
And I'm going to extremes.
Tomorrow I will change.
And today won't mean a thing.
I'm a bitch.
I'm a lover.
I'm a child.
I'm a mother.
I'm a sinner.
I'm a saint.
I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your health.
I'm your dream.
I'm nothing in the dream.
Revere Radio Networks presents Art Bell Somewhere in Thai.
The night's program originally aired January 7th, 1999.
You know, I really have got to tell you, when you do open lines and you don't screen calls, this is what usually happens.
It's just beyond belief that I would get two calls of the nature that I got in the last hour.
I mean, think about it a little bit.
What are the odds?
unidentified
When you think you got me Figured out the feed I'm already changing words to this are great.
I think you're cool, you do what you do, and don't try to say it is me.
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I cannot feel ashamed.
I'm your help, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between, you know you wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm a bitch, I'm a teen, I'm a goddess on my knees, when you hurt, when you suffer, I'm your angel, I'm your cover, I don't know, I'm revived, can't say I'm not enlightened, you know I won't.
So, anyway, at this point, she's screaming now, and I'm saying to myself, here we are in this bank, and before you know it, the police are going to come.
For sure, somebody's going to call them, thinking that I accosted her.
And at the time, all the realtors in my group, anyway, were all carrying guns.
We all had permits to carry.
But I said, I don't need this aggravation.
I said, let me get out of here.
So I walked out the door onto Madison, and then I realized I can't go back to my office.
She's following me.
She's ranting and raving about the smoking.
And I apologize in the meantime to the woman.
I said, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize I had the cigarette.
But anyway, she wouldn't stop.
She's following me.
So I turned up to Park Avenue and walked north.
And I was up to around my office on 47th.
I guess I was up to 51st Street thereabouts on Park.
And she's still behind me.
I turned back down to Madison.
And on the way back down, I stopped at Chuck Full of Nut.
She came in the door after me, continued to scream and yell.
And I got my coffee and donut, and I walked back out.
And my golfing buddy at the time was the chief engineer at the Connie Nas building.
Had you, during all of this, since the bank, lit up another cigarette?
unidentified
Oh, you know, I don't remember.
I was thinking about it before, and I don't think I did.
No.
I was too embarrassed and occupied with this woman behind me, you know.
So anyway, I got down to Pat's building, and I walked in the lobby, and sure enough, in the morning, he would stand by the concierge, and I explained to him what happened in the bank.
I said, Pat, this woman won't stop.
And she's ranting in his lobby now.
And this building is where they shoot Vogue magazine and Glamour magazine, all the Condy Nash publications.
And Pat said, all right, I'll get one of the guys.
So he got one of the guys, one of the maintenance men, and they took me up to the third floor, I think it was, and there was a staircase that emptied out into the street from there, so I didn't have to go back in the lobby.
So he held her in the lobby.
I got back to the office, and somehow, don't ask me how, because I looked all around.
I didn't see her.
She had a mink coat on down to the floor.
I mean, she was a beautiful woman.
And she must have saw me in the street and followed me anyway, because not two hours later was a call-in about a bomb scare in the building.
People are really going to stop with blood all over the place.
unidentified
Yeah.
Like, you know, my friend said, hey, Mike, maybe you should just pretend that you were just mugged.
Maybe we would get some help.
But finally, these girls and these cute girls and then sheep came by and they saw us and we waved at them and then they just kind of looked at us funny and kept driving.
And they apparently went around the block and they finally stopped and gave us a jump and they said, oh, you know, we weren't going to stop, but we figured, hey, you know, everyone needs some karma in the bank.
So, you know, good karma for these wonderful girls who gave us a jump.
So finally, the evening ended, but it felt as if it was never going to.
Art, I recall you're speaking about the crime problem in South Africa a few months back.
Well, earlier tonight I watched the Fox Files episode concerning this.
Apparently the farmers in South Africa are the victims of terrible crimes.
Farmers arm themselves when they simply work in their fields.
Farmers' wives have to train and carry handguns in order to go for a simple walk.
The police are reporting that most of these terrible crimes are being committed by former farm employees.
Not only are these criminals robbing, but they are murdering farmers and their families as well, simply because of hatred, according to reports.
Jeff in North Carolina.
I cannot add enough emphasis.
I was in South Africa, as you know, not long ago, and in Johannesburg, and then I was north of Johannesburg, near the Kruger Park, and then I was in Cape Town, and Johannesburg is a truly, truly frightening place where people are machine-gunning each other.
You really cannot imagine how bad it is.
In America, we would consider it beyond anarchy.
I mean, it's the Mad Max scenario.
And Africa is one scary place right now, and I'll tell you why it's happening.
It's basically happening because Nelson Mandela will not institute control.
Now, as you know, Partheid ended.
Nelson Mandela is the president of South Africa, and he's a well-intentioned man, but because he is afraid politically that if he were to clamp down, he would look like the previous regime, he's reacting in exactly the opposite way and not clamping down on anything.
And the result is beyond anarchy.
I mean, it is a truly frightening place.
And I recommend to any of you who are even considering a trip to Africa to consider very hard before you go.
Now, this will change eventually, as all things do.
But right now, I'm telling you right now that Africa is one scary, crime-ridden, dangerous place to be.
And that doesn't apply necessarily to all parts of Africa, but South Africa right now is in big trouble, crime-wise.
Big trouble.
They have people on the streets there, the beggars on the streets, solicit money by wearing signs, all of them now, not just some, all of them, that say, I don't do crime.
You know, it's like, give me money because I don't do crime.
I'm one of the few that don't do crime, and they're right.
On another show, we might have been able to go there.
But I'm not going there.
Not at all.
Not at 2.30 in the morning, or 3 or 4 or 5.30 or whatever it is in the morning.
I'm not going there.
I'm sure it was for you, young lady, a horrible, horrible experience.
As well as something that probably should be immediately reported to some wholly owned subsidiary of the Guinness Book of World Records or something.
Wildcardline, you're on the air.
Hello.
unidentified
Yeah, thanks for sparing us from that.
Oh, you're a good idea.
Yeah, I just got some visuals out there.
Anyway, this is Dave from San Jose KSFO.
Yes.
i've made some christmas gifts from checks the people for christmas and getting the emails back from these people saying that uh...
detector coming back from the bank and saying insufficient and track not insufficient part that i just got off the phone believe it out of school does that mean So then I, maybe an hour ago, I was just on the phone with my bank, and I won't mention which one it is, whether it might be of whatever.
And I go, what's happening here?
And they're like, well, no, we don't show anything like that.
And I go, what does insufficient address mean?
And they're like, we honestly, we don't know.
I don't show any checks being bounced back.
I go, well, you know, they have them in their hand, and they're coming from you.
So I'm kind of thinking maybe this is another Y2K glitch.
At this point, I'm calling somebody back who's got one of these insufficient address stamps on my check, and I'm going to cart it down in my bank and say, what the hell is this?
unidentified
Well, what I'm going to do is these people are obviously I'm in San Jose, they're down in Laguna Beach, but what I'll have to do tomorrow is maybe it's on their bank site or something, but I've never even heard of that before, so I'll check into it, obviously, tomorrow.
And I was wondering something else, have you noticed that after we bombed Iraq, I was, and this is in December, in a four-week period of time you had, you know, remember when the Russians protested against it?
Well, when I read these articles, it was real quick.
It was Russia and Belarus got together.
Then the EU got real cozy with the Chinese.
And then the Chinese, Russian, and India want to get together and have a strategic, what they call a strategic triangle.
And then Russia deployed those new missiles, and they're all combat ready.
And this is within a four-week span.
And I haven't even heard this on the news.
I just caught this at different wire services on the net.
And when you look at all of this stuff, and Russia's going to export 20% more weapons down to the eras because they're exploiting their obvious hatred of us now.
When you look at it and put all these stories together, it's almost like in one month of December, the whole world literally shifted, and we've been totally isolated.
This was back in the early 80s, and I was going with a friend to the opening of a restaurant, and we were behind a car that was driving really erratically.
And I suggested that we pull back a little bit and fall back and not be too close.
And they were going from left to right, but unfortunately, we were the only ones on the road, and we both came to a stoplight, and they were in front of us.
And when the light changed, we noticed that the driver was the woman, there was a passenger, there was a man.
He had her by the hair and was hitting her head against the door, the driver's side door window.
And so the driver of the vehicle I was in, my date, honked his horn to tell him to go because it had turned green.
And instead, the passenger got out, started walking to my side of the door, and I promptly rolled up the window and locked the door.
Good for you.
Yeah, I was a lot smarter than the driver.
He went around to my date side, and I don't know what he was trying to do, but he reached in, and my date grabbed a screwdriver that was between the seats and proceeded to, like he was going to stab him.
So I screamed and grabbed the screwdriver out of his hand and finally got the guy, we got him away from the window, and my friend backed up and we started to go around the car.
And the guy jumped out in front of us and we ran him over.
No, I didn't go back out with that guy again, and I'd known him for quite some time, but I realized if he's going to freak like that, I really don't want to be with someone like that.
And we never got to go to the restaurant.
By the time all of this was over, and I checked on the guy and realized that he wasn't injured, everything was closed.
Can you imagine being in a car, running over somebody twice, not just forwards, but then backing up and running over them again, and you're the passenger.