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July 4, 1996 - Art Bell

02:46:23

Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell - Open Lines - Truth or Trash

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	Welcome to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from the 4th of July, 1996.
	From the high desert in the great American Southwest on the 4th of July.
	I bid you all good morning, good evening, as the case may be.
	Yes, we are live tonight.
	Not yet another regurgitated, recycling, relentless repeat, but the real thing right now.
	From the Tahitian and Hawaiian Islands, eastward to the Caribbean and the U.S.
	Virgin Islands, south into South America, north to the pole, and worldwide on the Internet, this is Coast to Coast AM.
	Top of the morning everybody, I'm Art Bell.
	It's good to be here, and as I said, we're live, not taking a day off, nor will we tomorrow.
	Be here both days, and Sunday on Dreamland as well.
	So you get live talk radio and I imagine across the dial it is nothing but regurgitation.
	Anyway... We may do... We may do a little truth or trash.
	It seems like kind of a truth or trash night to me.
	And that's a lot of fun.
	Some of you will not know what truth or trash is.
	But you're about to find out.
	Let me roll by a few things here.
	One, I thought this was appropriate.
	Mr. Bell, all of you, happy Independence Day to you and your family.
	220 years and counting!
	I hope it is not a countdown.
	Cheyenne in Palm Springs.
	That's a good question.
	You think it's a count up or a count down?
	Are we counting forward?
	Or are we counting forward to some end point?
	I don't know, hard to say.
	Now, The latest from Saudi Arabia is kind of a surprise.
	No fertilizer bomb over there, folks.
	3,000 pounds of plastic.
	Normal construction-type plastic called RDX Rapid.
	Explosive-type plastic.
	And they found part of a timer.
	This, then, is a sophisticated weapon.
	Not some crude, thrown-together, fertilizer-type bomb.
	So, in other words, somebody with a lot of money did this.
	Now, it still may be somebody inside Saudi Arabia, but they have ruled out Iraq, they have ruled out Syria, and they have not ruled out Iran.
	It may be Iran.
	If it is, we've got a problem.
	Or the President has a problem.
	The day is going to come when we are going to come to blows with the nation of Iran.
	It is not if, it's when.
	We'll see.
	An independent safety inspection team has a dire warning for the U.S.
	Space Agency.
	Either use slow plans to cut shuttle program costs, or you risk a serious accident.
	Anybody want to take a ride?
	Boris Yeltsin appealing in his victory for reconciliation with the communists.
	Not very likely.
	President Clinton praising Yeltsin's victory.
	L.A.
	partying as usual.
	Five injured there in an immigration protest.
	They questioned whether illegal aliens should or should not receive of benefits when they come to this country.
	And one person was injured seriously.
	Several others injured somewhat less seriously.
	No more bodies found in the fireworks factory that blew up.
	And so that story continues.
	The First Lady has marked American independence by being overseas in Czechoslovakia.
	Very patriotic.
	And Charles has made Diana an offer of, I don't know, 30 million, something like that, and she can keep her title.
	And that is about the extent of the news as it is on this day.
	Now I've got a few items that I want to get out to you because I didn't get them out until late yesterday.
	In fact, this one not at all.
	I just got this email and I want to read it to you.
	Art, I'm an airline pilot for a major airline in Los Angeles.
	Recently, about June 30th, all aircraft, I repeat, all aircraft flying over the Pacific to Honolulu Lost all Omega navigation for 12 minutes.
	Omega is a worldwide all-weather navigation system based on eight Omega stations around the world.
	10 to 30 kilohertz.
	It measures position by looking at the changes in the phase angles of the received signal.
	It is highly unusual to lose all Omega reception.
	FAA ATC for the Pacific Sector should be able to verify this.
	Our pilots had a handheld GPS satellite navigational unit for backup.
	Could this be HAARP?
	I would say yes, it could be.
	10 to 30 kilohertz, huh?
	Yes, that would be down in the HAARP area.
	And that would be in the affected area, no doubt about it.
	All right, here's one I read yesterday that I'm going to read again because it is highly unusual.
	Remember the Demon Seeds?
	Well, let me read you this.
	Art, dear Art, here is a copy of a recent Seattle Times ad which I ran in an effort to contact Bill about the Demon Seeds.
	He did read it.
	In fact, we met.
	We're now in the process of concocting an effective poison To kill the mutant bastard bean plants.
	This particular flora appears to be an isotopically altered member of the, and I can't pronounce it, C-Y-C-A-D-O-F-I-C-I-L-I-C-A-L-E-S, if you want to try fine, which has also been genetically spliced with some fauna-related gene, henceforth the disgusting fruit and flowers.
	This is a horrible plant that took over this man's yard and scared him.
	That produces, it just grows wildly without being able to stop it, produces meaty smelling horrible disgusting fruit and flowers.
	Anyway, just as soon as we have this awful mess cleaned up, I'll get back to you with some photos and the proof I promised you in my previous letter.
	It is expedient that we concentrate our efforts on eliminating these gruesome Frankensteinian ferns.
	Our neighbors are complaining and the local authorities are beginning to get suspicious about the recent rash of disappearing cats and dogs.
	We've even heard rumors about some satanic cult being locally active.
	I wish it was as simple as that.
	If we don't get all the roots, we'll never be free of this monstrosity.
	Bill and I are both scared.
	How many of these horrible seeds are out there, just waiting to spread their killer fruit throughout our unsuspecting defenseless neighborhoods?
	Maybe Major Dames could help.
	Whatever you do, Art, don't plant any more of the demon seeds.
	May God have mercy on us all.
	Worried in Seattle.
	Signed, Bob.
	Indeed, he sent me a copy also of the of the Seattle Times ad, and it's a big one, in the announcements section in big, bold print.
	It says, Bill, I heard about your problem from Papa Bell.
	Must be me.
	I can help.
	Meet me in the Japanese gardens at 2 p.m.
	on Wednesday, 7-3.
	You may remember me if you've been listening recently.
	Worried in Seattle.
	So, the story of the demon seeds continues.
	And I keep them in a dry, warm place.
	Now, earthquakes.
	Another one.
	Southern Alaska.
	Not too terribly far from, well, let's see, about 55 miles northwest of Anchorage.
	This one registering about 5.5 on the scale.
	A business article from the San Francisco Examiner You know what happened down in Mesa, Arizona, where you can't smoke on the sidewalk?
	Well, guess what, folks?
	You're not allowed to smoke even in your car, even in your car, at Motorola.
	Company property is now a smoke-free zone.
	Motorola Inc.
	thinks having a phone in your car is great, but workers who smoke a cigarette in their own cars on company property can now get fired.
	Fired!
	Now, everybody knows the telephone bone is connected to the smoking bone.
	And whenever you go on the telephone, you gotta have a cigarette.
	Now, I don't know why that is.
	It's like the smoking bone is connected to the eating bone and the sex bone, and you know all about that, right?
	So, now we find that you're not going to be able to even smoke in your car.
	There's not gonna be anywhere left.
	Nowhere left.
	Smokers are going to become extinct dinosaurs.
	Bad, bad, bad water.
	Washington D.C., the water is so bad, EPA says you better boil it before you drink it.
	The elderly and sick, in fact, must boil it or risk death.
	Apparently, Washington D.C.
	now has a higher bacterial count than allowed by the EPA.
	So there you've got it.
	Bad, bad water in Washington.
	All right, now.
	This is a holiday, so we are going to just have some fun tonight.
	Now, what do I mean by that?
	A lot of you are new to the program and have never heard Truth or Trash.
	Truth or Trash is an interesting little game that we play.
	Very entertaining.
	And what I do is, I set aside one phone line, and only one phone line, to tell a truth or trash story.
	Now, by the very nature of its name, you can tell truth or trash, means exactly that.
	You can call up and tell us, weave a tale, a story, an absolute, unadulterated lie, if you want.
	Or that the story can be absolutely true.
	But the object of this little game is to fool our panel.
	I will let you tell your story.
	And it should be a good one.
	By the way, no ghost stories, no UFO stories, no Bigfoot stories.
	Because it's very subjective.
	Very hard.
	You know, I saw a UFO.
	Well, is he telling the truth or trash?
	Who cares?
	Who knows?
	There's no way to know.
	Now, what kind of story do I want?
	Well, true life stories.
	Well, I'd say true life could be baloney.
	But things that otherwise would be true life.
	Stories of the weird, the bizarre.
	Stories that Rod Serling would be proud to turn into a script.
	Strange and weird and bizarre stories.
	That's what I want.
	Generally revolving around real life, so I will allow you to tell your story on the appointed phone line Then I will take the best three out of four calls and the panel will either Trash your story or affirm your story I Think in other words say they will say well.
	Yes sounds truthful to me The object of the game is to fool the panel.
	Whether you are telling the truth, or it's a lie.
	The object is to fool the panel.
	And, I must add, that more times than not, the panel is rather easily fooled.
	So we will see.
	Now here's the way it works.
	If you want to tell a story, you call area code, only this one number, area code 702727, 1-2-2-2.
	7-0-2, 7-2-7, 1-2-2-2.
	That is the only line in which you can call and tell a story.
	Now, when you call as a panel member, rendering judgment on the person's story, you're allowed to ask them questions.
	If you need a point clarified, Um, you're allowed to ask them questions.
	So, you see, I keep them online.
	After they've told the story, they will stay online, be available for your questions.
	That's the way it works, and through the night, I guarantee you will hear some weird and bizarre stories.
	So, if you have a good truth or trash story to tell, the number to call, area code 702-727-1225.
	I figured tonight would be just a perfect night to do such a thing.
	I'm gonna go to bed.
	Ow.
	The new version of the Coast to Coast AM app is here, now available for Android as well as iPhone.
	For Coast Insiders, it offers the ability to download the most recent shows so you can listen to them at your leisure.
	The new app also has listen live and streaming features, plus recaps, contacts, and upcoming show info.
	Coast Insiders with Android system 4.0 and above, or iPhone.
	Check out our new app at the Google Play or iTunes stores, or link from the Coast website.
	Looking for the truth?
	You'll find it on Coast to Coast AM.
	Nobody wants terrorism, obviously.
	But, I don't know who to believe anymore.
	Because, you know, if something happens, you would think, oh my gosh, this is real terrorism.
	But then on the other hand, you say, this is just their way of saying we need to implement more of these controls.
	Not everything is a conspiracy.
	The problem is, you have to look at everything as if it's a conspiracy.
	Because nowadays, you just don't know.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	Now, as a panel member, after we've heard the story, you can call any line and render your judgment Now, that would include the wildcard lines at 702-727-1295, the toll-free west of the Rockies line at 1-800-618-8255, or east of the Rockies at 1-800-825-5033.
	The toll-free west of the Rockies line at 1-800-618-8255 or east of the Rockies at 1-800-825-5033.
	Now if a story as told is not a good story, I will not even turn it over to the panel.
	So it's gotta be a good story.
	And here we go.
	Comes Marv from the state of Washington.
	Hello, Marv.
	Hello, Mark.
	How you doing?
	I'm fine.
	Very good.
	Do you have a truth or trash story?
	Yes, I sure do.
	Alright.
	Okay, I was flying a C-123 support aircraft for the U.S.
	Air Force Thunderbirds out of Nellis Air Force Base, Nevada.
	You flew for the Thunderbirds?
	I flew, yes I did.
	Wow, alright.
	And it was a bad weather day, but we finally got the cloud ceiling to rise high enough for takeoff.
	So as we were climbing out through the weather, the hinge pin in the right jump door came out and the door swung out about 90 degrees.
	Excuse me, what is a jump door?
	Okay, a jump door is in a C-123 type aircraft.
	Okay, this is a support aircraft now.
	This is a door you open to jump out?
	Right, like we have paratroopers aboard, they would be in the back and we open up the door and they jump out.
	I've got you, I've got you.
	Okay, so the jump door came open and swung out about 90 degrees and wedged in the door opening with half of the door sticking out of the aircraft and half inside.
	Oh, very bad.
	Yeah, this caused severe buffeting.
	Now we couldn't turn around to land because the weather at Nellis, Las Vegas, McCarran and Indian Springs were now below minimums for landing.
	So I made a decision to continue south to Luke Air Force Base near Phoenix.
	Now at that time, one of our wing de-icing heaters stopped functioning and we started to accumulate wing ice.
	Oh man!
	So we descended to a minimum altitude to clear the mountains we were flying over and we picked our way visually between the peaks.
	Now as we started our descent to Luke, We experienced a right engine prop governor failure.
	It was a runaway prop.
	Oh, Marv!
	Yeah, so I shut down the right engine, and my co-pilot notified Luke Air Force Base of our emergency condition, that we have an engine out, a door jammed, and a half-open position, and minimal de-icing available.
	Well, Luke then told us they had a jet trainer aircraft with a flame-out that was coming in, and since we still have one engine turning, they asked us to extend our landing approach so as to be behind the jet emergency.
	Now, as we turn in for our final approach, we lowered landing gear, wing flaps, and started our final approach to the runway.
	Suddenly, we got an oil pressure failure light on the remaining left engine, and the engine was seized.
	Now, since the C-123 only has two engines, it became very quiet, and we started dropping like a rock.
	Our main gear touched down on an asphalt runway overrun about 40 feet short of the runway, and we bounced up and forward just enough to land on the concrete runway and became rolling to a stop.
	We then had to be towed into the parking ramp with a tug.
	So you actually glided in, really?
	Yeah, well, we kind of fell in, more or less, because we were on our way, we were on our descent, and when the other engine seized, we just continued the best we could, and we landed short of the runway, but luckily enough, it was a paved surface, and as we hit it, we bounced up, and we landed on the runway and just rolled to a stop.
	And then we had to be towed in.
	How's that for a nail-biter?
	That's a nail-biter, all right, Marv.
	You were, then, in the Air Force?
	Yes, I was.
	And how long ago did this occur, Marv?
	This happened in 1961.
	Did you have a long talk with the engineer after all this?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, you know, we have, on the C-123, we don't really have an engineer aboard it.
	All we have, we just have the two pilots, and then we have a crew chief who's in back.
	But we don't have an engineer aboard the 123.
	By the way, were you surprised what happened in the Ron Brown crash?
	Yeah, kind of.
	Kind of, huh?
	Yeah.
	Even after your experience?
	Right.
	I'm a little leery of it.
	Seems like there's a lot of unknowns there.
	All right, Marv, I'm going to have to ask you to hold on now.
	You bet.
	And don't go away.
	Stay right there.
	All right, fine.
	And gee, plane literally disintegrates in flight.
	And they barely touched down with no engines running at all.
	Truth or trash?
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	Welcome to the show.
	This is a production of the Center for Contemporary Art.
	Now, we take you back to the past on Art Bell Somewhere in Time.
	Good morning, everybody.
	We are playing Truth or Trash.
	It's the holiday.
	It's the weekend.
	And we just got a story from Marv.
	Sounded like something from the movie Memphis Belle.
	I'm telling you.
	This plane literally disintegrated in the air.
	And they landed, they hit the runway, short of the runway, landed with no more power, no more engines, no more really anything.
	So, what do you think?
	Truth or trash?
	Now we go to the other lines to find out your rendering.
	East of the... Remember, you can ask them more questions if you want to.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What do you think?
	Truth or trash?
	Well, it's hard to believe.
	In other words, you're saying trash.
	I'm saying trash because what he's saying that he lost his one engine.
	Yeah.
	And then he had ice buildup.
	Yeah.
	The door opened up.
	Yes.
	Well, the door opened up first, I believe.
	Well, the door opened up first time.
	That would bring incredible drag.
	I can believe that the plane was lower then, but then losing the one engine.
	With the ice building up, you would think that the plane would start toppling off to the one side.
	You want to ask Marv why that didn't happen?
	Yes.
	Yeah, how come that didn't happen, Marv?
	Well, because you just use your other engine to control the amount of power that you've got on it, which will keep it from rolling.
	We have buffeting, but in order to keep it from rolling, you just increase the power on the other engine.
	All right.
	So anyway, you render up a trash on it, eh?
	I render... It's hard to believe with an aircraft that old.
	All right.
	With today's technology, an aircraft like that with computer, you know, simulating something like that would say, crash, crash, crash.
	All right.
	Trash, trash, trash.
	All right.
	Thank you very much.
	There is one who says trash.
	Remember, it is the best three out of four.
	West of the Rockies, you're on Marv's Disintegrating Plane Story.
	Truth or trash?
	Hello there?
	No.
	A wild card line.
	You're on the air.
	Marv's Story.
	Truth or trash?
	Uh, yeah.
	Hi, Art.
	I'll tell you, the way you told that story, it sounded very believable to me.
	I haven't been in the Air Force around planes too much, but it sounded very believable to me.
	It did.
	He told it well, didn't he?
	Yes, very well.
	All right.
	Good.
	Thank you very much.
	I appreciate that.
	West of the Rockies, Marv's story, truth or trash?
	I'll say truth.
	Oh, you're going to say truth.
	All right.
	One more truth, and Marv wins.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Where are you calling from, please?
	Hi, Art.
	This is Herman from Weeping Water, Nebraska.
	Weeping Water, Nebraska.
	Alright, Marv's Memphis Belle story.
	What do you think?
	Truth or Trash?
	Trash.
	Trash?
	Yeah.
	Alright, well the next one decides it then.
	Alright, thank you very much.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Truth or Trash?
	I think it's Trash, Art.
	Trash?
	Alright, well, are you sure?
	Well, I'm not positive, but I've read a lot of books on aviation, and I think that a C-123 is an old prop-driven job from probably a few years ago, and it probably doesn't have very good de-icing boots on it, and why would it need it in Texas?
	Good point.
	Alright, there you go.
	They have trashed your story, Marv.
	They say it's garbage.
	Well, they're all wrong, because it's 100% absolute truth.
	It is, huh?
	Yeah, as you know, living there in Nevada, in the wintertime, it can get a little bit cool.
	Oh, sure.
	In February, at the time.
	Absolutely, and at altitude, certainly it would.
	Well, sure.
	There's a mountain range just south of Nellis there, I guess it's called the White Mountain Range.
	And as we were getting going across that is when this all, well actually when the icing took place.
	But the door did jam.
	I was just shortly after takeoff and I'll tell you that was an exciting flight.
	I had to change my flight suit when I got there.
	I understand.
	Marv, I thank you.
	You have fooled the panel.
	As usual, the panel begins by going down in flames.
	Now you see how it works.
	If you've got a truth or trash story, the number to call His area code 702-727-1222 would not have wanted to have
	been on that flight.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	Here we go again on my truth or trash line.
	You are on the air.
	What is your first name, please?
	Oh, wait a minute.
	I've got you on the wrong place here.
	Hold on.
	Now you're on the air.
	What is your first name, please?
	Vinnie.
	Vinnie?
	Yeah.
	Where are you, Vinnie?
	I'm calling from Burlington, Vermont.
	Burlington, Vermont.
	Yep.
	All right, Vinnie.
	You're going to have to get good and close to the phone and speak up so everybody can hear you.
	Let's have it.
	All right.
	I used to drive a taxi cab for a company here in Burlington.
	And one of the drivers found a duffel bag full of $100 bills, and he turned it in to the company owner.
	Really?
	He did.
	Right there, right there, a lot of people are going to have a whole duffel bag full of hundreds, oh man.
	$100 bills.
	And he turned it over to the company owner, who said that he was going to wait and see if the money was claimed, and apparently the money was never claimed.
	And he gave a portion of the money to What did the taxi driver have to say about this?
	and now it seems to be buying up a lot of the
	other companies like a limo company another airport taxi service wait a
	minute now the taxi driver turned it over to his boss the boss waited for somebody to claim it
	uh... nobody did and then he kept a lot of the money
	then he kept a lot of the money what did the taxi driver have to say about this
	he was just happy to receive a little bit of the reward reward for being a good fit
	He's one of these Joe Citizen kind of people.
	I don't know what the hell was wrong with him.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Vinny's money story, truth or trash?
	I mean, trash.
	Trash, huh?
	hold on to say we'll find out what the audience thinks now i want to color anybody's response out there but how
	many of you by what you just heard
	used to the rockies you're on the air vinnies money story truth or trash
	or i mean trash
	trash on let me ask your caller there Uh, I mean, this is such a stupid story.
	Did the hundred dollar bills have Howard Stern on them or something?
	No, I take it they were real hundreds, right, sir?
	Vinnie?
	Excuse me?
	They were real hundreds, right?
	Yeah.
	Real hundred dollar bills.
	Yes, they were.
	That's what I thought.
	Um, all right.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Vinnie's story, truth or trash?
	Uh, truth.
	Truth?
	Yeah.
	You think truth?
	Why?
	Why would you think?
	Well, what convinced you?
	Well, I don't know.
	It just sounds truthful to me.
	All right.
	And honest, too, I would say.
	Yeah.
	At least on the part of the driver.
	All right.
	Thank you.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Where are you calling from, please?
	I'm calling from Palm Springs, Art.
	Palm Springs.
	Truth or trash?
	Vinny's big money story.
	I think it's true, Art, because I had something similar happen one time where I gave back a lot of money like that.
	Really?
	I got a good feeling off of it, so I can believe that somebody else might do the same thing.
	All right.
	Well, I'll tell you.
	Oh, I better not say anything.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Uh, Nate Hanson, and it's trash.
	Trash, huh?
	Yeah.
	Alright, that's two for trash and two for truth.
	That means the next one decides it.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Vinny's story, truth or trash?
	Yes, Art, I, uh, would have to say I think it's trash.
	Trash, huh?
	Yeah, the story just seemed too generic, and I don't know, it didn't seem like it, uh, I don't know, it just seemed too simple to be, to be truth.
	Sometimes, of course, the simplest things are true.
	Could be.
	Yeah, all right.
	All right.
	Thank you very much.
	All right.
	Well, they have trashed your story, Vinnie.
	Oh, sorry.
	The thing that bothers me the most is that it's true, and I wish you would have turned that money over to me.
	I don't know if I could have been so honest.
	The part I don't understand is the taxi driver went away happy.
	This is what blew me away.
	I'd have trashed it, Vinnie, because the taxi driver went away happy that he got a reward for For turning money over to somebody whose money it wasn't in the first place.
	Uh-huh.
	Exactly.
	It's true.
	It still bothers me, but it's true.
	How much money was in it?
	Do you have any idea?
	I would say it was like a baggie, the kind of baggie you'd bring to a gym.
	Yeah.
	Maybe, I don't know, maybe a million or two.
	Unbelievable.
	Unbelievable is right.
	I couldn't believe it.
	All right, Vinnie, thank you.
	You have fooled the panel.
	That's two down now for the panel.
	Uh, panel doesn't get very many right.
	You people are very easily fooled.
	Remember now, this story can be absolute truth or total garbage.
	Total trash.
	You can weave it, make it up.
	Thing is, though, if you do that, you've got to think about it fairly carefully, and you've got to make up a good line.
	You've got to tell it well.
	You can't sort of sputter this story out.
	On my truth or trash line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Do you have a truth or trash story?
	Yes, this is Beth in Boise.
	Hi, Beth.
	When I was 13, we moved to Hutchinson, Kansas.
	My father rented a house until we could find something that we wanted.
	Yes.
	And my sister and I lived with our folks.
	We decided we wanted to go to the movie one evening, so our folks drove us there, gave us the money.
	And we got the hour the theater would, the movie would be over, told them, they said, we'll be back to pick you up.
	He gave us about a dollar each.
	We went up to buy the ticket and decided we'd seen the movie.
	So we went next door and bought a Limeade and Teen Magazine and a comic book, got a cab, and came back home.
	Right.
	Our folks weren't there.
	We came in, we read the magazines, drank our limeade, apparently one of the blinds was up a little bit, and I heard a noise at the back door.
	So I told my sister to wait and I walked back quietly close to the kitchen and I could hear this noise at the back door.
	So I came back Got a revolver, loaded revolver out of a buffet.
	How old were you?
	Thirteen.
	Thirteen, alright.
	I'd been raised on a cattle ranch.
	I knew about guns.
	Got a gun, yeah.
	And, uh, my sister wouldn't stay alone, so she came with me.
	Right.
	So we made this plan.
	There was a pull-down blind on the kitchen door with a window in it.
	Yeah.
	And there were two switches by the door.
	And I said, now, when I let this blind switch up, you turn on both switches.
	So there's a light in the kitchen and one on the porch.
	Anyone could have gotten in the house with a skeleton key.
	Gotcha.
	So I did.
	And there was a young man, I'd say 22, 23.
	He had gotten the screen door open with a knife, I thought, in his hand.
	He was working on the lock on the door.
	Right.
	And I screamed at him, get out of here now or I'll kill you.
	That should have impressed him.
	His eyes got big.
	Really big.
	And he couldn't move.
	I could just hear him saying, oh feet don't fail me now.
	And he finally ran.
	I went and called the police.
	My folks actually arrived home before the police got there, which they got there quickly.
	And that was it.
	The reason this happened.
	I had lost a kitten a few days before, and I'd gone around the neighborhood asking about the kitten.
	I came to this old house that had a father and about three grown men in it.
	They said, I don't know.
	Come on in, I'll ask my brothers.
	And I said, no thanks, and ran home.
	So what was it, one of the brothers?
	Well, yes, it turned out to be one of the brothers, who had spent time in reform school and some time in prison.
	So, Beth encounters bad guy, and I'll tell you, Beth, I'm not going to submit that to my panel, because it's just, I don't know, it's a story, but not weird enough.
	Unfortunate.
	Isn't that strange?
	I appreciate the story, Beth, but in today's world, the encountering of somebody who would break into your house, Beth, is just not that unusual.
	Isn't that sad?
	That itself is probably a sort of a sign of the quickening, isn't it?
	Now, let me try again.
	Truth or Trashline, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi, my name is Teresa.
	I'm from Los Angeles.
	Teresa, L.A., how you doing?
	Okay.
	Okay, you got a good story for us?
	I think so.
	The people where I work thought it was really weird.
	All right, let's hear it.
	Okay, it started one morning when I was driving to work.
	I was just driving along and I heard a weird noise, and then I realized it was in my head.
	It was like hearing, you know, like ESP or something.
	Someone's calling you, Teresa.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, yes.
	Well, we'll ignore them.
	Okay.
	So anyway then, um... Wait a minute, you heard a noise that was in your head?
	Yeah, I was driving along and I heard a noise.
	Yeah.
	And I, you know, I never heard it before.
	I couldn't figure out what was wrong and I was thinking, you know, I've really lost it.
	Well, this went on for about a month.
	And then finally, and it not only happened in the car, it would happen at work, just at random times.
	What kind of a noise?
	Can you make a sound that would... Like an explosion type of noise.
	An explosion?
	Yeah, like a weird noise.
	Okay.
	Okay, so then about a month later, I was driving to work in the morning again, and I got hit head-on by a semi-truck.
	And at the moment of impact, I heard the noise.
	Really?
	Yeah, it was the exact noise.
	And then after the accident, the noise went away.
	I never heard it again.
	So what I was really doing was hearing my own accident before it even happened.
	Oh, now that is fairly incredible.
	And that went on for a month, Teresa?
	It went on for about a month.
	I could be, you know, going for a walk with my dog or driving.
	It would just happen randomly.
	Not every day, but I would hear this weird noise.
	And then during impact, I realized, my God, that's what I've been hearing all this.
	Oh, I couldn't believe it.
	Alright, we'll call it Teresa's Big Bang Story.
	How's that?
	Okay.
	Alright, so what do you folks think?
	Truth or trash?
	An explosion in Teresa's head, which went away at the moment of impact.
	West of the Rockies or on the air?
	I think it's trash.
	You think it's trash?
	Yeah.
	You didn't think that was pretty well told?
	I think it was well told, but I still think it's trash.
	All right.
	I'll tell you, I've had a precognitive experience.
	Not that far in advance, mind you, but I've had one, so I don't know.
	I would have said it's trash.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	I think it's true.
	You think it's true?
	Yes.
	All right.
	You think Teresa told it well, and the sound and tone of her voice was truthful, huh?
	Yeah, I pretty much believe it.
	All right.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Teresa's Big Bang Story.
	Yeah, all right.
	I'll give it a truth.
	You will say truth, too.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	All right.
	All right.
	Thank you very much.
	Where are you, sir?
	Eugene, Oregon.
	Eugene, Oregon.
	All right.
	Thank you.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Teresa's Story.
	Big Bang.
	Truth or trash?
	I think it's trash, Art.
	Trash.
	Boy, it's coming down to the wire on all of these.
	All right.
	That's two for truth, two for trash.
	This one decides it.
	What do you say, truth or trash?
	Also trash.
	Trash!
	So we have trashed Teresa's story.
	All right, where are you calling from, sir?
	San Diego.
	All right.
	Teresa, they say it's trash.
	It's true.
	It's true.
	It really happened.
	So the panel, once again, goes down.
	That's three in a row.
	Three up, three down.
	The panel crashes again.
	All right, Teresa, thank you.
	Okay.
	Take care.
	Uh, again, the only line now that you can call to tell a truth or trash story is 702-727-1222.
	All other lines are devoted to panel renderings.
	On my truth or trash line, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	Hello.
	This is Grand Rapids, Greg.
	Grand Rapids.
	Happy Independence Day.
	Yes, sir.
	Do you have a truth or trash story?
	Yes, sir.
	Okay, it was back in the 70s.
	I was living with my girlfriend.
	Uh, her father comes to stay with us for a while.
	Uh, about the first or third of every month, he used to get a check from the government.
	Well, he used to go on a drinking binge.
	Well, one of these, uh, drinking binges, he had been gone for about two or three days, and my girlfriend was getting worried.
	We hadn't seen him.
	Yes.
	So we had no idea where he was.
	Well, she got off to work one morning, and she left, and I got up, took a shower, and And the back of the house was this bedroom.
	And every time I walked past this bedroom, I had a feeling there was a presence.
	Now, wait a minute.
	This is not a ghost story, is it?
	No.
	Okay.
	No.
	I had a feeling of a presence in there.
	And I looked in there, and there was nothing in there.
	Well, every time I went past it, three or four times, I went past this bedroom.
	And this happened two other times.
	And finally, off the bedroom was this closet.
	I went up the stairs to his closet and went into the attic and there he was passed out
	on the floor upstairs in the attic.
	So I woke him up and got him all taken care of.
	Two or three days later he went out again and had another drinking binge and we couldn't
	find him again.
	Well then I had this feeling again that he was outside the house.
	We had this broken down car in the driveway, the timing chain had broken on it.
	And I walked by the car and there he was passed out inside the car over the driver's seat
	and he was passed right out.
	Well two or three days later again he went on a drinking binge, we couldn't find him
	and I had this feeling again outside the house.
	And this was the kicker, I love this one.
	I thought it was quite appropriate.
	I had this present, like I said, outside the house.
	I went out behind the garage and we had this old abandoned doghouse.
	There he was, inside the doghouse.
	I thought it was quite appropriate.
	He was in the doghouse?
	Yes, sir.
	Well, that's a very interesting story, but I think I shall not submit it.
	I thank you for telling it to us, but I'm not going to submit it to a panel.
	It is sort of subjective in the doghouse.
	All right.
	Well, these must be quality stories now, people.
	Quality stories.
	Do you hear me?
	So when we come back, we'll make another stab at it.
	A couple of them were pretty good here.
	So far, the panel's gone down in terrible flames.
	One, two, three in a row.
	We only submit the good ones to... These have got to be Rod Serling kind of strange stories, folks.
	The trip back in time continues with Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM.
	More somewhere in time coming up.
	Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen.
	Tonight we'll put all other things aside.
	Give in this time and show me some affection.
	We're going for those pleasures in the night.
	I want to love you.
	We are...
	little bit happen.
	Premier Networks presents Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM, from July 4th, 1996.
	What we're doing is playing Truth or Trash, and I better get some good stories here, or we won't be for long.
	These have got to be weird, Rod Serling-like stories, no ghost stories, no UFO stories.
	You can either lie your tail end off, or you can tell us the absolute truth.
	We will then submit it to the panel, and they will They will tell us whether they think it is truth or trash.
	So here we go with another one.
	Let's see what we get.
	This sounds kind of interesting.
	What is your first name, please?
	Bill.
	Bill, where are you?
	Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
	Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
	All right.
	You've got a story for us, I guess.
	Yes.
	This was during when we were still at war with Japan.
	Yes.
	This was at about 43, 44.
	I can't remember what year it was.
	I'm sure my uncle told me about it.
	Right.
	This was when we were still experimenting with the atom bomb.
	It wasn't perfected yet.
	Right.
	This was a contingency in case the atom bomb failed.
	Oh.
	And this was outside of Phoenix, Arizona.
	21st Bomb Group.
	Yes.
	General Curtis LeMay.
	Oh, yes.
	Was using bats as bombs.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	You mean bats like bats that fly around at night?
	Yes.
	They were experimenting because Bat bombs?
	Yes.
	How would you make a bat bomb?
	Well, see, what they were going to do is take thousands of bats.
	And Japan was almost about 80% wood and wood products.
	And what they were going to do is throw incendiaries into these bats and drop them from B-29s over Japanese cities.
	Drop bats from B-29s?
	Yes, in cages.
	And what would happen, at 2,500 feet, these cages would open up.
	And the bats would fly out.
	This would be during the day.
	And bats roost in crevices of buildings.
	That's true.
	And within two to six hours, these incendiaries would go off.
	They would burn the city.
	Oh my God.
	And my uncle told me that... Oh, that's insidious.
	That they had built, in the desert, outside of Phoenix, a town similar to a Japanese city, and they dropped these bats and it totally destroyed the town.
	You're kidding!
	That's the damnedest thing I've ever heard!
	So, um, they... What did they do?
	Uh, how did they get the incendiary, uh, stuff into the bat?
	They would throw it onto the wings, or onto the body, I'm not really sure.
	Oh, man!
	That is an... incendiary story, actually.
	Yes.
	Absolutely amazing.
	Alright, um... Alright, Bill.
	Bill's bat bomb story.
	Man, that's incredible!
	Can you imagine that?
	Bats with, uh, incendiary devices, uh, sewn onto them or into them.
	You drop it, the cage opens at 2,500 feet.
	And it's true, of course, the buildings in Japan were mostly all wood.
	So they would nest, and then they would go off.
	And that was an alternative plan, says Bill, to the atom bomb.
	If it didn't work, that's incredible.
	West of the Rockies, Bill's bat bomb story.
	What do you think?
	Truth or trash?
	Hi there.
	Hello.
	Yeah, it's truth.
	I've got the story in the book.
	You've got the story?
	Yes, I do.
	So you know it to be true?
	I know it to be true.
	Now, I've heard a lot about World War II.
	I've got a picture of one.
	You do?
	Yes, I do.
	All right.
	Well, all right.
	Where are you?
	I'm in Southern California, a place called Alpaloma.
	All right.
	Thank you very much.
	There's one who says truth.
	East of the Rockies, Bill's bat bomb story.
	What do you think?
	I think it's true.
	You think it's true, too?
	Mm-hmm.
	All right.
	You're not saying that just based on what my last caller said?
	No.
	All right, thank you.
	Where are you?
	Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
	Milwaukee, all right.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Bill's bat bomb story.
	Truth or trash?
	I'm going to have to say it's true.
	True?
	Yeah, I read a book called The Environmental Wars, and they talk about something just like that, crazy as it sounds.
	That's absolutely amazing.
	All right.
	All right, that's three in a row who say true.
	And so there you are, Bill.
	Every one of them says it is a true story.
	Yes, it is a true story.
	Well, finally, the panel gets one.
	How about that?
	So they really dropped... But did they ever actually drop bats on Japan?
	No, they didn't.
	The atom bomb worked.
	That was just a contingency plan in case the atom bomb failed.
	Absolutely amazing.
	Thank you, my friend.
	Thank you.
	Take care.
	Now, see, that tells you the kind of story that I want here.
	Boy, that was amazing.
	Amazing.
	Never heard of such a thing.
	It's the first time, and I've heard a lot of World War II stories, you know.
	You know, it's the first time I ever heard anything, anything like that.
	tonight featuring coast to coast AM from July 4th 1996 I'm the judge of those stories that gets admitted to a
	panel %uh
	That's how it works.
	All other numbers are panel renderings, truth or trash renderings.
	And remember, you can ask the storyteller a question if you wish.
	Here comes our next.
	What is your first name, please?
	My first name is Eugene.
	Eugene?
	Yeah.
	All right, Eugene, what is your story?
	Well, I was up in Nepal trekking, and I went into the Royal Casino in Kathmandu and I was digging around for some change to try out these slot machines.
	I didn't know much about gambling.
	I set my wallet on the roulette table and one of the numbers kind of inadvertently and the number came up five times and it broke the bank.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Hold it, hold it, hold it Eugene.
	You set your wallet there?
	Yeah.
	You didn't take the money out of your wallet?
	It was full of travel checks and the like, and cash, and they were hanging out of the wallet.
	And you just set it there and that number came up?
	Each time the number came up, everyone would go, oh, rupees, boxes, you know, it meant like big money.
	And so then you broke, how much money?
	I don't know exactly how much I won.
	What I did was, I told them it was just a mistake, and said to forget the whole thing.
	And they go, oh, Romero, buggy money.
	I go, what does that mean?
	Something about money?
	And they said, no, it means good luck in Nepalese.
	Really?
	That's an interesting story, but I can't buy it.
	You know why, Eugene?
	Why?
	Because how could they know the size of the bet based on just the money being in your wallet?
	Well, they opened the wallet up when I first set up there, and they took the bills out, and they put the wallet back down off to the side on the little green area.
	Oh, I see.
	All right.
	And then they asked if it was mine.
	And so, now, you didn't take the money?
	I was surprised.
	I picked up, I saw, I saw all the winnings there, and I looked at my wallet, and it was empty, and it really scared the scratch out of my head, wondering what was going on.
	But you didn't take the money?
	No.
	I'm disqualifying you, Eugene.
	I can't believe that myself.
	No, no, that story has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
	That's just impossible.
	That's absolutely impossible, Eugene.
	I'm not submitting that to a panel.
	Nobody in the right... First of all, nobody would lay the money down like that.
	Secondly, if they did win, they sure as hell would take the money.
	So I'm not... That's not a good story.
	On my truth or a trash line, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	This is Roger.
	Hi, Roger.
	How you doing?
	Fine.
	Do you have a good story?
	I got a good story.
	Let's hear it.
	Late last year, I had a job where I was a delivery person and I lived here in Las Vegas and I was going into one of the local casinos here, I won't name it.
	At that time I was dead broke.
	It was like my third day on the job.
	So I went into the casino, came back out and as I was coming out I was walking by some bushes and I saw some money laying there so I picked it up and it was $40, no big deal.
	So I thought, well, I've got another week before I get my first paycheck.
	So I kept $20 to get me through and I went back into the casino.
	I like to play slot machines every now and then.
	One of their slot machines was a progressive quarter machine and the jackpot was up to like $72,000.
	I went in there and I got $20 in quarters and on my third pull I hit $1,000.
	Exactly.
	Like I said, I kept $20,000 for myself.
	seventy two thousand dollars while i hope no kid
	okay now the political part of the story alright so you hit the
	seventy two thousand dollar jack right
	we found with found money exactly right i thought i kept twenty four myself
	okay now the second part of the story is i've always
	and interesting interested in the in the stock market
	Sure.
	So earlier this year, well, I ended up with like $55,000 after they took out taxes and everything.
	Sounds about right.
	So I had to pay off a few bills, so I held back like $6,000 and I called my broker up and there's this penny stock that I've been looking at for a number of years and I did a little research on it.
	I think $50,000 into this penny stock.
	Can I give the name of the company?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	It's a comparatory system to know somebody's knowledgeable about trading and the stock market don't know what I'm talking about.
	Okay.
	So I think $50,000 in there.
	Okay.
	And the stock at the time I bought it, I bought it for five cents a share.
	Right.
	Okay.
	Here, about three months ago, The stock went up to $2 a share, okay?
	I sold it at a dollar and a half, and now I'm a millionaire.
	You're a millionaire?
	I'm not kidding.
	Oh my God, what a story, Roger.
	I went from dead broke to a millionaire.
	I just got the job.
	Like I said, I wasn't going to get paid for another week.
	Oh, this is a superior story, Roger.
	I've got the story.
	Stand by.
	Roger goes from zero to a million.
	Finds $20, hits a $72,000 jackpot, invests $50,000, and is now a millionaire.
	What do you think of Roger's rags-to-riches story?
	It's one of the best I've ever heard.
	Truth or trash?
	What a great story, whichever it is.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Roger's rags-to-riches story, truth or trash?
	All right, nobody makes money like that.
	I'm calling from Detroit, and I think his story is total bullcrap.
	It can't be real.
	People just don't make money like that on penny stock.
	All right, well, we don't say bullcrap.
	We say trash.
	Trash.
	I'm sorry about that.
	It's trash, no doubt.
	All right, well, don't say nobody does it.
	Listen, I live near Las Vegas.
	Things like this do happen.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What do you think of Roger's incredible rags-to-riches story?
	Well, I'd have to agree with the last caller.
	I think that's a bunch of trash.
	The thing that got me was I thought he said at first that the Progressive Jackpot was $7,000, and then when he later continued with his story... No, no, no.
	He said, I believe he said $72,000.
	Isn't that right, Roger?
	Yep, that's right.
	So he said that both at the same time.
	Uh, so okay, so they thought they caught you misstating a figure.
	I say, alright, well that's two for Trash.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Roger's story of riches in Vegas, truth or trash?
	Hello there!
	No, East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What do you think of Roger's story?
	I would have put it at 72,000 on the progressive, but no way he went and made himself a millionaire afterwards.
	So, it's absolute trash, huh?
	All right.
	They have trashed you, Roger.
	One, two, three.
	Absolute trash, they say.
	What do you say?
	It's trash.
	It is trash.
	But the truth is, there's a true part of the story.
	Comparator systems did go to $2.00.
	And that guy who said you can't make money on penny stocks, he's absolutely wrong.
	Wrong, huh?
	Well, it was a hell of a... I like the story, Roger.
	I really like the story myself.
	All right, my friend.
	Thank you.
	Take care.
	I thought that was a good story.
	And anyway, the backup part of it, with regard to the penny stocks, was correct.
	Now, I should have asked him whether he actually made any money or not, or it's just one of the fish that got away.
	First time caller line.
	Actually, truth or trash line, you're on the air.
	Well, no, you're not.
	Now you are.
	Where are you calling from?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Yeah, I'm calling from Timor, Wisconsin.
	All right.
	Do you have a good truth or trash story?
	Yeah.
	How good?
	Alright.
	Me and my friend, um, Sean, I'm about 16 just got my license.
	You're 16?
	Yeah.
	And so is Sean.
	Yeah.
	Alright.
	And we're driving down to, um, Appleton.
	It's a town nearby, the town I live in.
	Right.
	And we're, um, heading up to the store.
	Yeah.
	And we buy some stuff.
	Well, anyway, we left at, um, there was like this midnight manifesto.
	And we left at about, uh, like, um, around midnight.
	So anyway, we're getting back and we have to go to the countryside.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And we were driving down the highway and the headlights were on and we were going down the road here and we spot something there and there was like eyes gleaming and we thought it was deer because there's lots of deer around the area.
	Glowing, glowing eyes.
	Yeah, and it raced across, and we hit something.
	You hit it?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And the car went all into the ditch, and we thought, my God, we must have hit someone, or a deer or something.
	Right.
	So we got out of the car, and we seen this shadowy figure, it looked like a wolf.
	Yeah.
	And only thing is, it was standing on two legs, and it took off down the field, and we took out some flashlights we had in the back seat there.
	And?
	And we looked back there at the flashlights, and it was gone.
	We couldn't make it out, so we didn't know what it was exactly.
	So you hit something?
	Yeah.
	Alright, well that is not going to the panel.
	16 year olds hit things driving all the time.
	Not putting that one to the panel.
	If you want to tell a truth or trash story, and it's good enough to be submitted to a panel, I mean, that was just, you know, some 16 year old said something all the time.
	First time, Truth or Trashline, you're on the air, hello.
	Yeah, all right, this is RC in Seattle?
	Yes.
	Okay, I got a story for ya.
	All right, go ahead.
	You'll have to hold on here a second, I'm driving a truck, getting off the freeway now.
	At any rate, I was in Maui with my girlfriend, this was about nine years ago.
	Yes.
	And we decided one day to go get some ice cream.
	So, we pull into this place to get some ice cream, and we're there getting our selection, and we get ours, and she looks back, and who comes into the ice cream store but Tom Selleck.
	Tom Selleck.
	Tom Selleck.
	And my girlfriend at the time, she was the type of person that used to get really riled up whenever someone came in.
	Someone, you know, someone like that.
	Famous, yeah.
	So, she's there grabbing my arm and stuff, and I'm just like, take it easy, take it easy.
	So we get our ice cream and we leave out there.
	She was so shocked that she couldn't even say hi to him or anything.
	So we get out to the car and I've got my ice cream.
	I look at her and I go, where's your ice cream?
	And she's like, I don't know.
	She ended up leaving it inside.
	So she wants me to go back in there and get it for her.
	I'm like, there's no way I'm going back in there to go get that for you.
	You go get it yourself.
	So she still wouldn't go in.
	I go, okay, fine.
	I'll go in there with you.
	So we go back into the ice cream store, and she goes up to the counter, and it's not there anywhere.
	And she can't figure out, and he taps her on the shoulder and says, excuse me, I am who you think I am, and you put your ice cream cone in your purse.
	So Tom Selleck told her she put her ice cream cone in her purse?
	Had she done that?
	Yeah, she did.
	All right, that's a pretty good one.
	Hold on a second.
	Let's see if we can get a quick judgment here.
	The Selleck ice cream story, truth or trash?
	I think it's true, Art.
	You think it's true?
	It sounds like something that would really happen.
	Yeah, somebody might do that.
	It's true, it's true, it's true.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What do you think about the Tom Selleck ice cream story, truth or trash?
	Hello there.
	Truth or trash?
	Trash.
	Trash, alright, one for truth, one for trash.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air, truth or trash?
	I've heard it before, it's an urban legend, it's trash.
	It's trash, alright, that's two for trash.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air, ice cream story, truth or trash?
	Hello?
	Did you order pizza?
	Uh, yes we did, and we're wanting it now.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air, truth or trash?
	I think it's truth.
	You think it's truth, huh?
	Alright, that's two for truth, two for trash.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Truth or trash, what do you say?
	No?
	West of the Rockies, truth or trash?
	It's trash.
	Trash.
	One, two, three says trash.
	All right, my friend, they say trash.
	What do you say?
	It's trash, Art.
	Thank you.
	The panel wins again.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	This is a test.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM, from July 4th, 1996.
	And we are playing Truth or Trash.
	Your story can be the absolute truth or an absolute lie.
	And your job, your mission, is to fool the panel, and so far the panel is... I don't know, they're pretty close to even.
	Not quite even, but pretty close to even.
	Wrong once more than right, I believe.
	Maybe I'm not keeping careful enough track.
	Now, folks, I want quality weirdness.
	Sixteen-year-olds hitting things.
	That's normal.
	That's not weird.
	We need weird stories.
	Things that Rod Serling would be proud of.
	That sort of thing.
	Going now to our next on our Truth or Trash line.
	You're on the air.
	Where are you calling from?
	Houston, Texas.
	Houston.
	All right.
	What's your first name?
	Lance.
	Lance.
	All right, Lance.
	Let's hear it.
	In 1965 I was working on the Keepas Cane Island down off the coast of Florida.
	And I was driving back and forth through Rickenbacker Causeway each day.
	And I worked a second shift so I got off late one night and I drove home and I saw a car
	parked on the beach with a hose from it's exhaust into the car.
	You mean like somebody committing suicide?
	Yes.
	I saw two guys standing by the car, well over eight feet tall, probably four and fifty pounds
	each.
	Big guys?
	Yeah.
	I've never seen these guys ever in my life.
	I was in a 57 Chevrolet doing about 70 miles a minute down the causeway and um...
	Did you stop?
	No, I did not stop.
	You didn't stop?
	No.
	You're doing 70 miles an hour?
	Yeah.
	Alright.
	I'll tell you in a minute, because I saw this, and telepathically, one guy said to the second guy, do you think he saw us?
	The second one said, no, I don't think so.
	The first one said, good, it saved his life.
	Now, you understand, I couldn't hear him doing 70 miles an hour.
	But I heard them say it, believe me.
	Well, I went back home.
	I was living on the mainland.
	Next morning, I went and bought a newspaper trying to find out what had happened.
	The names are kind of sketchy.
	One of them was named Dr. Valentine and one was named Dr. Jessup, I think.
	And the article said that Dr. Jessup was taking a manuscript that involved a Philadelphia project out to Rickenback Causeway to keep his Cane Island to give him the book, but he never made it.
	These two guys were the last two living doctors that had been involved.
	For four days I walked around in 1959.
	It was one of the scariest times.
	What was the real date?
	I was living in 1965.
	This was six years earlier.
	living in 1965. This was six years earlier. And the newspaper, I went and bought the newspaper
	and some of the buildings weren't even there yet.
	Like I was locked out of time or locked in another time or something.
	So Lance traveled from 1965 to 1959 and spent four days there?
	Right, to witness this murder.
	To witness the murder?
	Yeah.
	Holy mackerel.
	It wasn't a suicide.
	These two guys were involved in this time, time, time machines and stuff.
	Alright Lance, by the way Lance, there's two important questions.
	Yeah.
	Were you doing drugs?
	Absolutely not.
	How about booze?
	Nothing.
	I don't drink.
	No booze?
	All right.
	All right.
	Just had to ask, Lance.
	Had to ask.
	Had to ask.
	All right.
	West of the Rockies, Lance's travel through time story.
	Truth or trash?
	Hello there.
	Hello.
	Yes, sir.
	You're on the air.
	Where are you?
	Phoenix.
	Phoenix.
	All right.
	Well, you're off the air now.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Where are you calling from?
	Well, I'm calling from Seattle.
	All right.
	And what do you think of Lance's time travel story?
	Murder.
	It's absolutely trash.
	Absolutely trash, huh?
	You don't believe in time travel?
	No, I call it a day of my story, but... Well, you can't call on this line, sir.
	There's only one line to call to tell a story, and that's area code 702-727-1222.
	East of the Rockies, what do you think of Lance's four-day foray into 1959?
	I think he's on drugs now, and it's completely trash.
	All right, let's find out.
	Lance, are you on drugs now?
	Absolutely not.
	All right, well, that sounds like a very convincing absolutely not.
	West of the Rockies, Lance's time travel story, truth or trash?
	I'm going to have to say it's trash.
	Trash.
	All right, Lance, they have uniformly trashed your story.
	Every word, the truth, I swear to God.
	That's a strong swear.
	You really swear is true, huh?
	Art, that happened.
	All right.
	Well, Lance, we're going to have to take your word for it.
	The panel goes down in flames again.
	Thank you, Lance, and take care, my friend.
	Well, I don't know if I'd buy that one myself, but you've got to admit that his denials of
	any sort of use of controlled substances or otherwise were strong and clear.
	Now Back now to Truth or Trash, and you are on the air.
	What is your first name, please?
	This is the Reverend from St.
	Paul.
	The Reverend from St.
	Paul.
	All right, you've got a story, Reverend?
	Yes, I sure do, Art.
	Okay.
	Okay, when I was in about 8th grade, 8th grade, freshman year, I don't know, I was doing some work for a local community theater called the Chimera Theater, and they had their theater in the annex of the St.
	Paul Downtown Science Museum.
	Well, I went downtown, took the bus to, you know, the job.
	I was a, um, how do you call it?
	Backstage hand, like a... Yeah.
	Like a gaffer?
	Right.
	Right.
	Except, you know, for theater.
	Yeah.
	So, uh, I got downtown and I looked at my little time sheet of what time the performance was.
	And it's at three o'clock.
	Well, and it was only two o'clock.
	Well, I said, I got time.
	I'll stop by the magazine shop and do whatever.
	Sure.
	Then I started walking, you know, right as it hit three, I started walking.
	And then, as I'm just about getting there, I realized that the call time was supposed to be one hour before the performance.
	So I'm actually, like, 15 minutes late at this point into the performance.
	Right.
	I started to panic, and I'm starting to think up of excuses to tell the stage manager.
	Because, you know, um... Yeah, I know how that works.
	Yeah.
	Believe me, I know.
	So, um... And then, you know, see, I was pretty irresponsible to tip, you know, so I've been late a couple times before.
	And I'm walking along, and I'm trying to think of some excuse, and I'm thinking of my stage manager's reaction.
	I remember last week, she had said something, or I had made an excuse, and she said, yeah, sure you did.
	Right.
	And I was thinking of that.
	Now, keep in mind, the theater is at the Science Museum, so at this point in the day, there are school buses lined up with kids taking field trips, right?
	Right.
	And just as I'm about ten feet from the door, I thought of her saying, Yeah, sure you did.
	All of a sudden, I hear, out loud, yeah, sure you did.
	I look over to the back seat of a bus, and there I come eye to eye, gaze right into this kid's eyes, he's smiling ear to ear, and he slowly turns and looks back in the bus.
	So he read your mind?
	That was my immediate thought.
	I was taken aback a little bit.
	And then I walked in the room and basically forgot about it until later that day.
	Well, what excuse did you give?
	I told her the bus broke down.
	The bus broke down.
	Well, that's a good story, but it is kind of subjective, and there's no way the panel can know really how to... That's not a good panel story.
	So these have got to be good stories, and that was an interesting story, but not a panel-worthy story.
	So I will not submit it.
	Those with stories call area code 702-727-1222.
	And you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Yeah, I turned on the radio.
	Turn it off, actually, all the way off.
	It's better if you do that.
	Yeah, this is Pete here in Denver.
	Hello, Pete.
	And I don't know if you've ever heard of this or not, but there's a little device called a Levitron.
	It's a magnetic type of play toy.
	Supposed to be science behind it of sorts, where you You sit it down and you spin this little magnetic top and then you lift it up.
	I know exactly what it is.
	It's like an adult Rubik's Cube because it's so damn hard to do.
	Right.
	And I was introduced to this at a friend's house and while Very desperately trying different weight adjustments and different... We're really... Hold on, hold on.
	Pete, Pete, Pete.
	Not everybody knows what a Levitron is, right?
	A Levitron is a little device.
	There's a flat magnet, and you've got little shims and stuff you can put in it, and then you spin this little thing, and you lift it with a piece of plastic, and this thing spins, hanging in the air, as if by magic.
	It is amazing.
	That is a Levitron.
	So, alright, go ahead, Pete.
	Okay, so my friend tells me that he tried doing this for some months with no avail.
	I told him that I was sometimes lucky at things like this and that I should give it a try.
	So I give it a try a couple of times and all of a sudden in my mind something tells me, let him do the spinning and you do the raising, the little plastic thing to raise it up.
	Yeah.
	And that seemed to be a good mind connection thing because we actually got the thing to work.
	And it spun for, oh, gee, I don't know, maybe a couple of minutes, I'd say.
	And while it was spinning, and all the time that I had been concentrating with my mind on how to raise this thing without tipping it the wrong way, I was telling him about a mosquito attack that I had ran into when I was on a vacation trip some years before.
	Yes.
	Okay.
	This particular mosquito attack was a kind of a prominent thing because these damn mosquitoes, he was telling me that he'd seen these same types of mosquitoes.
	They were huge like helicopters, little miniature ones of course.
	But he said that they were a tiger, a mosquito.
	And he said, yeah, he'd heard about them and seen them.
	He said, they go right straight for you and zoom in on the blood.
	They don't hover around a little bit and decide to land somewhere.
	They just hammer on you.
	And I said, yeah, that's the thing.
	Well, two days later, I went to see my son.
	And my son and I are visiting with each other.
	And out of the blue, as if that My son had mentally, through mental telepathy or something, heard or been in that room somehow or the other, started talking about this story that I had told my friend about the mosquitoes and he was laughing about how funny it was.
	And this flat blew my mind because I had not told that to him.
	I mean, prior to this.
	I'm not sure how all this relates, Pete.
	Levitron, mosquitoes.
	Well, the thing is, is that I believe, or I feel, that somehow or the other, my mind's conditioning and trying to make the Levitron work made my mind work like a mental broadcasting system to my son's mind.
	Alright, I've got you, Pete.
	I appreciate the story, but again, it's not panel-worthy.
	There's just no way.
	I mean, it's a very subjective kind of thing.
	How's the panel to judge whether such a thing is so?
	On our Truth or Trash line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello, where are you?
	Oh, calling from Seattle.
	Do you have a good story?
	Well, I don't know.
	I'll give it a try.
	No, it's got to be a good one.
	Oh, I think it's pretty good.
	What is your first name?
	John.
	All right, John, let's hear it.
	Okay.
	About three or four years ago, my Wife and I were in Mexico and we went out somewhere to actually we went out to dinner and when we got back to the hotel we realized that everything had been while we were out some thieves had come into the hotel room and they had ransacked the place and essentially taken everything of any value.
	Sure.
	Except our camera.
	They left your camera?
	They left our camera.
	Now that's weird already.
	Well, we couldn't figure out why the devil.
	You know, they took traveler's checks.
	They took my watch.
	They took a lot of my wife's jewelry.
	Oh, gotcha.
	Everything but the camera.
	Everything of value, but left our camera.
	And it was a fairly expensive camera.
	It was a Canon with an expensive lens.
	All right.
	Anyway, we didn't think much.
	Well, you know, we were surprised.
	We didn't think a lot of it.
	Came back and reported the loss to the insurance company, waited for the money to come, and didn't think a lot of it.
	And then what we did was we noticed that the camera, or the film, was at the end.
	And we thought we'd had a few pictures left.
	You know, it was like on the 24 exposure rule, and we thought, oh gosh, you know, there's Uh, sure.
	So we thought we're on like 14 or 15.
	Yeah.
	So whole role was shot.
	So, uh, took it in, had it developed, got the pictures back, started flipping through them.
	And I hope this doesn't gross anyone out, but, uh, we started flipping through the pictures and to our horror at the end of the film, last couple of pictures, the thieves, when they came in the hotel room, they, uh, had taken pictures Of each other sticking our toothbrushes in their rear ends.
	Oh, that's disgusting!
	That's disgusting!
	That's absolutely disgusting!
	Holding the brushes up with grids on their faces.
	Oh, John!
	Oh, that's horrible!
	However, it is... Oh, man, that is disgusting!
	I presume the toothbrushes were left in the room, right?
	We have been using them ever since.
	Oh, John.
	Oh, John.
	Well, I almost hate to even ask, and I hope to hell it's not true, but let's find out.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	John's disgusting toothbrush story.
	What do you think?
	Truth or trash?
	I got a true story for you.
	No, no, we're not taking stories, sir.
	That story, truth or trash?
	True.
	Oh, you think it's true.
	All right, all right.
	I hope not.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Jon's truth, Jon's story, the horrible toothbrush story, truth or trash?
	It's trash.
	It's Urban Legend.
	It was in this month's Playboy with a bunch of others.
	Really?
	Yeah, an article on Urban Legend.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Truth or trash?
	I think it's a bunch of crap.
	Bunch of... West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	John's horrible... Whoops, would have been.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Uh-oh, uh-oh.
	My machine has gone kafooey on me.
	Oh no, what do I do now?
	Oh no, oh no, oh no.
	Now see, I've got him on one, so I can't use the other.
	I've got a problem here.
	Let me see if I can get this sucker to work.
	No, see, I'm not going to be able to get it to work.
	Alright, well we're never going to get a panel rendering because I'm going to have to reset this little monster.
	Well, this is radio, what the hell, I'll just go down and reset it right now, what do I care?
	We'll push stuff aside here and we'll pull this off and it will reset and then it will work.
	So let's put it back on.
	And I've really got to get a rendering on this.
	All right, let's try it.
	West of the Rockies, John's story, truth or trash?
	I think it's true because it's so weird.
	It is about the weirdest thing I've heard.
	Also, the most disgusting.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	John's horrible toothbrush story, truth or trash?
	Too thick of a thought, I'm going to say trash.
	Trash, all right.
	It's something you would not hope to be true.
	No.
	All right.
	John, they say it is trash.
	It's close, but they say trash.
	What do you say?
	Urban myth.
	Absolute trash.
	Thank God.
	You got that out of Playboy, did you?
	No, no, no.
	Actually, a friend of mine told me that that had happened to some friends of his.
	And then I thought the story was so absolutely hilarious, I told it to a couple of other people, and everybody knew someone who said that that had happened to them in Tijuana, or in Baja, or somebody even told me it had happened to them in Detroit.
	All right, my friend, thank you.
	I'm not going to get over that toothbrush story for some time to come, I'm afraid.
	Well, all right.
	The stories are improving.
	Degenerating, but improving.
	God, that was awful!
	Absolutely awful!
	Urban legend, not a good one either, but sort of sickeningly interesting.
	That's the category I'd put it in.
	Alright, we're gonna break here and we'll do more Truth or Trash.
	It is the July 4th holiday weekend.
	Anything goes, obviously.
	The trip back in time continues, with Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM.
	More somewhere in time, coming up.
	I'm not sure what I'm doing here.
	We will continue during the end credits segment.
	Music Music
	It is a holiday weekend, and so we are playing something called Truth or Trash, and the last story will be with me for the rest of my life.
	Oh, man, it was awful.
	I'll never look at a toothbrush in a motel the same way again, ever.
	It's horrible.
	Horrible, horrible, horrible.
	Truth or Trash is, the object of the game is simple.
	I need a very Rod Serling-like kind of story.
	No ghost stories.
	No precognition stories.
	That sort of thing just doesn't... No UFO stories.
	Those kinds of things don't fly.
	These have got to relate in some way to real life, and they've got to be weird.
	Really weird.
	Hard to believe, or I guess easy to believe, but weird.
	Now you can lie your tail end off, or you can tell the truth.
	Object is to fool the panel.
	The panel is actually doing better than normal this morning.
	A little bit better than half, I would say.
	The panel has been nailing my callers.
	And here comes another one.
	The only line on which you can tell a story... Now, I need to make that clear.
	There's only one line where you can tell a story.
	That's area code 702-727-1212.
	2-2-7-0-2-7-2-7-1-2-2-2.
	All other lines are for rendering judgments on the stories.
	And on my Truth or Trash line, you are on the air.
	What is your first name, please?
	This is Cindy Art, and I'm calling from Carson City.
	Alright, Cindy in Carson City.
	Okay, I've got a Twilight Zone story.
	Alright.
	This happened in California about the early 1990s.
	Okay.
	In a high desert area near Victorville.
	I was homeless and I was living in the back of my truck.
	And my boyfriend was living in the back of his truck at the same time.
	So we had this little dirt road where we always camped out in the desert.
	And it was close enough to town so that we could see the housing tract around us on to the east of us.
	Sure.
	And so on this particular day we had argued in the morning before he went to work.
	And when it was time for him to come back from work I was sitting in my truck and I dozed off.
	And then, um, the sound of his truck coming woke me up and, um, so I, you know, a little groggy.
	I'm waking up.
	I looked outside and everything was kind of glowed like yellow orange, you know, like when there's a fire and it kind of makes everything.
	Okay.
	That's what it looked like.
	Um, but there was no fire in there for some reason.
	Everything just looks strange, but I couldn't quite place my, put my finger on it so I could hear his truck, uh, real close, but I still couldn't see it.
	And I saw the dust rising off the road, but I couldn't see the truck.
	So, I had a tinkle, but for some reason I was afraid to get out of my truck.
	I opened the door and I had my... Wait, wait, wait.
	You had a what?
	Tinkle.
	I wanted to... Alright.
	Okay, so I opened up my truck door, but I was afraid to step out on the ground.
	And I didn't know why.
	I thought, well, maybe there's a snake under there.
	Maybe I'm kind of getting some kind of, you know, feeling about that.
	So I closed my truck door.
	And I laid down on my seat, and I thought, well, I'll just have to hold it for a few minutes until he gets here.
	I know how that goes.
	And he never got there.
	I fell asleep, and a couple hours later, I woke up again.
	The yellow glow was gone, and by this time, I had to tinkle real bad.
	So I got out, didn't have any hesitation, got out, went to the bathroom, and walked to this little dirt knoll that was real close by the road there, looking for my boyfriend.
	He was nowhere in sight, but I could see his tire tracks had been on the road.
	So I thought, well, the only other place it could be is at his sister's house.
	So I drove over to his sister's house and sure enough, there he was.
	And I said, how come you didn't come out, you know, how come you didn't come out to the desert there to meet me?
	He said, I was out there.
	He said, I could see where your truck pulled in, but your truck wasn't there.
	He said, I couldn't see where your truck left, but I could see where it pulled in.
	And I said, boy, that's really strange.
	Cause I could see your track, but I never saw your truck.
	So then I started thinking about the yellow glow on in, you know, in the sky and We've got to keep your story straight here.
	It was orange when you began.
	Well, yellow-orange.
	Yellow-orange, all right.
	Okay.
	I started thinking back at how everything looked weird, how I couldn't quite place my finger on it.
	Well, the housing tracts that were to the east of us there, some of them were there, but not all of them.
	And the plants, you know, the sagebrush and stuff that grows out there?
	Yeah.
	When I stopped and thought back about it, they weren't big, mature plants.
	They were small plants.
	You're saying that you popped back in time.
	Exactly.
	So we called it our Twilight Zone story.
	He could see right where I had pulled in, but he couldn't see my truck.
	I could see where he drove by, but I couldn't see his truck.
	I got that.
	Alright, Cindy, I kind of like that.
	Cindy travels in time.
	Now, the part of the story that I liked was the housing tract.
	Not all of the houses there.
	The bushes, smaller than they were.
	Yeah, I think it's truth.
	I think she was probably abducted by aliens or something.
	below west of the rockies cindy's time travel story what do you think truth or
	trash yet the truth
	i think uh...
	to try it doctor by a leader from alright so maybe she had some
	missing time wildcard liner on the air cindy's time travel story
	uh... this is patrick and corporate at uh... this is important
	I can confirm that Lance's story about the death of Dr. Jessup contains at least a grain of truth.
	Well, that's a past story.
	Now we're up to Cindy's story.
	Well, it's from the Philadelphia experiment.
	Yeah, I know.
	I know you were aware of it.
	I just thought that people out there... Well, what about Cindy's story here?
	I don't know anything about Cindy's story.
	All right, well, thanks for the call, then, because that's all we're taking is renderings on Cindy's story.
	East of the Rockies, Cindy's time travel story, truth or trash?
	I'm going with trash, Art.
	Trash, alright.
	West of the Rockies, Cindy's story, truth or trash?
	Trash.
	Trash, alright.
	And East of the Rockies, you're on the air, Cindy's story?
	Trash.
	Trash, alright.
	That's it, Cindy.
	They have trashed you.
	It is the absolute truth.
	It is?
	It is the truth.
	And when I told my other friends about it, they said, you know what?
	It would only happen to you.
	It is the truth.
	All right.
	You've stumped the panel.
	Thank you.
	Twilight Zone does exist.
	All right.
	Thank you.
	Well, I don't know.
	It could be.
	I wouldn't automatically blow that one off.
	I liked some of the details in that.
	I liked Yeah, this is David from Ukiah.
	Well, I think so.
	This goes back to the middle of World War II, 43, 44 and there.
	that's pretty good on my truth or trash line you're on the air hello
	yeah this is david from ukiah do you have a good story david? well i think so
	this goes back to the middle of world war two forty three forty four and
	there and at that time they were drafting celebrities from hollywood
	you know and put them through basic training and when they
	They put them into shows at the USO and what not.
	And this happened to Mickey Rooney.
	He found himself in basic training and ran afoul of this officer, young lieutenant or
	whatever, that had a dislike for celebrities.
	He thought they were smart and what not, you know, and all that.
	So he gave a pretty bad time.
	So they went through basic training and all this and this officer put Mickey Rooney in
	charge of the latrines.
	So come the day of the big inspection, you know, and the general and whatever, colonels
	and the lieutenant and all that, Mickey Rooney had cleaned up the bathroom and the last one,
	the one that he stood by, he got himself a jar of peanut butter and took some and smeared
	it on the inside of the pot, you know.
	So here comes the lieutenant and everybody and he lifted the lid up and the lieutenant
	looked down and said, Private Rooney, what is this?
	Nicky Rooney leaned down, stuck his finger in it, licked his lips, and said, I think it's bleach, sir.
	Oh, no.
	All right.
	That is worthy.
	That's disgusting.
	God.
	That goes with the toothbrush story.
	Which, those of you who just joined us this hour will have been lucky enough not to have heard.
	East of the Rockies, the Mickey Rooney story, Truth or Trash?
	Truth.
	Truth!
	Have you heard that story somewhere else?
	No, I haven't.
	You haven't.
	Where are you?
	In Chicago.
	In Chicago.
	Alright, thank you.
	So there's a truth.
	Alright, west of the Rockies, you're on the air, the Mickey Rooney peanut butter story, Truth or Trash?
	Yeah, he must have really thought hard about that one.
	That's gotta be trash, Art.
	Trash, alright.
	That's one and one.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Mickey Rooney's story, truth or trash?
	It is trash.
	Trash, alright.
	That's two trash.
	That's another one I sort of hope is.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Mickey Rooney's story, truth or trash?
	I'm gonna say trash because I don't think Mickey Rooney could reach the toilet.
	Let's find out.
	Alright.
	David, truth or trash?
	Well, he swears it's true.
	He told that story on the Old Tonight Show before Johnny Carson was on it.
	You're kidding.
	And he swears up and down when he did that, and I wouldn't put it past him.
	All right, well, we'll have to render it truth then, based on that.
	And you have befuddled the panel and lowered their score.
	Thank you very much, David.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Sheesh.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	Now back to the lines.
	Do you have a truth or trash story?
	The truth, Art.
	I'm calling from Stockton, California.
	The truth is you're calling from Stockton, huh?
	Right.
	Alright.
	I was going down the highway and I... Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	What is your first name?
	Ron.
	Ron, alright.
	Alright, Ron.
	I was going down the highway and I seen this car pulled over.
	And so I pulled over and there was this lady there and she had a flat tire.
	And so I got out of the car and I helped her fix the flat tire and everything and she was really happy that I helped her out.
	A real gentleman.
	And she wanted to give me some money and I told her, no, it's okay, you know, and didn't refuse to take the money.
	And so she says, well, why don't you give me your address and, uh, I'll send you a Christmas card.
	So I said, okay.
	So I gave her my address and everything.
	About two weeks later, this great big old truck pulls up.
	These guys come out and they bring out this great big old 25 inch color TV.
	You're kidding.
	And on top of the TV, there was a card, picked it up and it said, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
	Really?
	Yep.
	Oh, really?
	It's the truth.
	And so you got a free TV, a color TV from Mrs. Not King Cole.
	Right.
	For fixing a flat tire?
	For fixing a flat tire.
	She wanted to give me five dollars and we went through a big, you know... Yeah, I understand.
	Ron, very cool story.
	Hold on, we'll find out what the audience thinks.
	Pretty cool story.
	Could it be true?
	Elvis used to give Pink Cadillacs, didn't he?
	Could be.
	West of the Rockies, Ron's a color TV story.
	What do you think?
	I think it's the truth.
	You think it's the truth?
	Yeah.
	You go for that one.
	All right, thank you.
	He says it is the truth.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Ron's story, truth or trash?
	This is Ron from actually Oklahoma.
	I say it is truth.
	Truth.
	You like that one, huh?
	Yeah.
	Why?
	I mean, was it the way he told the story or what?
	It was the way he told the story.
	Alright.
	Well you see now, you see how the stories sell.
	It's the way people tell them.
	It's the tone of the voice.
	It's something like that.
	That's two in a row for truth.
	Ron's Not King Cole color TV story.
	What do you think?
	I'm going to say Merry Christmas, and I think it's true.
	You think it's true?
	Three in a row say it's absolutely true.
	Ron, they say it's the truth.
	It's the truth.
	It is the truth.
	It's the truth.
	You really got a brand new color TV for fixing a flat tire?
	Yes, sir.
	Yes, sir.
	All right.
	OK, thank you very much.
	Thank you, Ron.
	Bye.
	Well, there you go.
	This is not King Cole.
	I guess if you have the money, And you want to do good, and somebody does good for you, something like that.
	You would do that.
	So, you know, it has a ring of truth to it.
	On my Truth or Trash line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	What is your first name?
	Me?
	Well, that was quick.
	I'm Eric.
	I'm sorry?
	I'm Eric.
	OK, Eric, where are you?
	I'm in Studio City, California.
	Studio City.
	All right, Eric, from the land of tinsel.
	Well, it seems like we're kind of on the celebrity thing, but...
	Well, I might as well stick with it.
	This is my story.
	All right.
	I'm an actor.
	Made a living at it for a while, and it's been kind of dry here for the past couple of years, and I've had to do various odd jobs.
	In other words, you weren't in ID4.
	No, I wasn't.
	Did you see it, by the way?
	Not yet, Eric.
	Not yet.
	So you had a long, dry period.
	I know actors starve.
	So do artists.
	Anyway, so I've been doing various odd jobs.
	So, I've been doing bartending with catering companies and they called me up and they said they needed me to work at Rod Stewart's house for his daughter's birthday.
	Yes.
	But not as a bartender, as a cotton candy boy.
	A cotton candy boy?
	Yeah, which I wasn't into at all, but whatever.
	It's kind of a long story, I have to try to make it short here.
	Yes.
	Okay, so I get there and I'm not into it at all.
	My wife and I are looking at getting a guest house.
	Uh, somewhere in the hills there, and Rod lives in a gated community, so, you know, I was upset about not bringing these, uh, these flyers that my wife and I had made that say, you know, we're a newly married couple, we want to live in a guest house, saving up to buy a house of our own, blah, blah, blah.
	Right.
	So, I'm there, and I'm not happy about being Cotton Candy Boy, and Rachel Hunter, his wife, is telling me, you know, go out and get the umbrellas from the pool and bring them out to the lawn so we can have shade.
	So I say, okay, whatever.
	So I go out and as I'm by the pool, I think, hmm, this is a good way to get home to get those flyers.
	So I go, I go out and I'm pretending to struggle with this umbrella by the pool.
	Are you following me so far?
	So far.
	Okay.
	So I'm, I'm struggling with this umbrella and I, I, I think, Hey, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll fall into the pool.
	So I fall into the pool on purpose.
	Uh, so I can, you know, go home and change my clothes and get these flyers.
	Right.
	To, uh, to, uh, you know, pass them out around this gated community so my wife and I can get a guest home.
	I've got you.
	Um, so as I fall into the pool, that's the first time I see Rod Stewart and he comes out in his spiky red hair and he says, uh, how can I say this?
	I can't really say it on the radio.
	He basically says, I bet you feel like a jerk, mate.
	I bet you feel like a jerk, mate.
	You know?
	Um, and I say yeah and he ends up giving me his clothes to wear for the rest of the party.
	Um, and I wear his clothes and I serve cotton candy to all the little kids.
	Um, but the story ends up good because I end up, I tell Rod and Rachel that I'm, you know, going to go home and change my clothes and I'll bring his clothes back and I brought the flyers back and I handed them out around the community.
	Did you get anything out of it?
	Yeah, actually the story doesn't end up great because I got a call from the housing department saying that it was illegal to hand out flyers in the gated community and please don't do this again.
	And you never ended up getting a guest house?
	We did not get a guest house.
	Not yet, but if there's anyone out there.
	So you were trying to be sort of a house guest like Like our friend from the O.J.
	Simpson trial.
	You're right!
	Yeah, kind of like little Kato.
	Yeah, all right, all right, all right.
	All right, so there you've got it.
	Let's see what you think of Eric's story.
	Truth or trash?
	I think it's trash.
	Do you really?
	Yes, I do.
	I mean, he does... I've got one that can top it, but I think that's trash.
	Well, all right, trash it is.
	You're going to have to call on the other line to tell the story.
	You know how that goes, not this line.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Truth or trash?
	It's too weird to be made up.
	It has to be true.
	It has to be true.
	All right.
	Thank you.
	Wildcard line.
	Eric, story, truth, or trash?
	I think it's trash.
	Trash.
	All right.
	That's two for trash.
	Thank you.
	East of the Rockies.
	Eric, story, truth, or trash?
	Hello there.
	Trash.
	Trash.
	All right.
	That's it.
	Three in a row.
	Sorry, Eric.
	They trashed you, buddy.
	My wife, she's come out.
	She wants to say something, but the story is true.
	It is true.
	Put your wife on.
	Wait.
	Here she is.
	It's absolutely true because I washed all those chlorine-infested clothes.
	You did, huh?
	So you both swear it's true?
	I swear to God it's true.
	Alright, thank you very much.
	You have trashed the panel, but good, man, they didn't go for that at all.
	And yet it was absolutely true.
	Sometimes, you see, you really can't tell, can you?
	Now, with a true story like that, it wasn't told too well.
	Um, you know, he stumbled over a little bit of it and, uh, some of it sounded like it might have been made up or something, but there we had Eric's wife, uh, absolutely certifying that it was true, so I'm gonna say, rough one for you, panel.
	The panel now falls down to about 40%.
	They were doing better, but of late, the panel has been not, not, not making it at all.
	Alright, we are playing something called Truth or Trash, just for fun.
	Weird, bizarre stories.
	If you have one, the only number in which to tell that story, on which to tell it, is area code 702-727-1222.
	Everybody run in and check your toothbrush.
	We'll be right back.
	This is Premier Networks.
	That was Art Bell hosting Coast to Coast AM.
	on this somewhere in time.
	Hello, and welcome back to another episode of my DROD!
	Today, we're going to be looking at the most popular game in the DROD series, and that's
	the DROD!
	DROD!
	Somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM, from July 4th, 1996.
	Top of the morning to you.
	It's good to be here.
	We're doing something called Truth or Trash, just for fun.
	It's a holiday weekend, and I felt like doing it.
	We may even get to a little fast blast later on, you never know.
	They seem to go together.
	But for now, it's Truth or Trash.
	The object is, fool the panel.
	So far, people are doing a pretty good job.
	Panels average down around 40% for the night so far, I would guess.
	If you have a truth or trash story, the only line you can tell it on is area code 702-727-1222.
	All other lines are for judgment only.
	And here comes the next one.
	You're on the air.
	What is your first name?
	Hi, I'm Vangelis.
	Well, Art, I have a real interesting story for you this morning.
	pick that name. But Angel Eye is fine. Is that what your girlfriend calls you or your
	wife or something? No, that's my CB handle, Art. Oh, I see.
	All right. Okay, go right ahead. Well, Art, I have a real interesting story for you
	this morning. I have a 50-gallon fish tank, you know, aquarium in my living room here. Right.
	And it's all fresh water.
	I have, you know, goldfish and a couple of betas and some neon tetras.
	Yes, oh, I know about those, yes.
	And they're real pretty.
	And, well, I go fishing quite a bit here about five miles from my house.
	There's a lake out here.
	And we catch a lot of these, oh, it ranges, you know, some catfish and stuff.
	Sure.
	And for more realism, I decided to put a catfish that I had caught that was approximately, oh, eight inches or so.
	Pretty big.
	Pretty big.
	Yeah.
	I decided to keep him just for the heck of it, for realism.
	I put him in the tank.
	Right.
	And, uh, thinking that they're algae eaters, you know, they just eat garbage off the bottom.
	Yeah.
	I didn't think they were predators.
	Yeah.
	And, uh, well, I have a Japanese fighting fish that is a small one.
	Call him G.G., Gorgeous George, because he thinks he's so good looking, you know?
	Well, he's a fish with ego, alright.
	Yeah, and, uh, well, we put him in and about two hours later, guess what happened?
	My, uh, the catfish we had just put in decided to, uh, suck down the fighting fish for dessert.
	Oh, no.
	Yeah.
	Probably very expensive, too.
	Yeah, they are.
	They're about twenty, twenty-five bucks apiece.
	Figures, yeah.
	And, uh, he couldn't go after my Neon Tetris for four bucks, right?
	He had to go after the good one.
	Yeah.
	And, uh, well, my wife and me were both sitting on the couch and we had the light on in the aquarium and we were watching this much to my wife's horror.
	I can imagine.
	And I says, oh my God, well, that's the end of that, you know.
	Right, of course.
	And all about 30 minutes later, the catfish suddenly had a real funny look and he just floated.
	He went to the top after a few minutes.
	Belly up?
	He went belly, well, sideways, you know.
	Yeah, fish go sideways, yeah.
	Me and my wife were just looking at that, and I says, well, I guess he couldn't take the shock of being transferred.
	Yeah.
	Well, his belly started to bulge a little bit, and it split wide open.
	Oh, my goodness.
	And guess what come out?
	Your Japanese fighting fish!
	Yes, sir.
	Alive?
	He came out in one piece.
	He, oh, that's, that's like, that's like alien.
	It's, uh, you know.
	That must have been truly disgusting to watch.
	Yeah, it was.
	After the water, you know, we had to drain out most of the water.
	What did he do?
	Eat his way out?
	I guess he did.
	Oh, that's disgusting, sir.
	All right, stand by.
	Let's find out what the panel thinks about this one.
	Now, talk about your fish stories.
	There's one.
	I don't know enough about a Japanese fighting fish to know whether this story could be true or not, but it sounds like a fish version of Aliens.
	Anyway, here we go.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Angel Eyes story, truth or trash?
	Yes, Steven in Phoenix, Arizona.
	Didn't the gastric juices hurt the fish or anything?
	Well, it's a good question.
	What about it?
	Well, didn't it hurt the fish?
	I mean, the fish... Well, we'll ask.
	Angel Eyes, what about it?
	No, it didn't appear to hurt him at all.
	He had some scales missing off him.
	And he had some white patches, but that was about it.
	Alright.
	He's still alive.
	I say it's truth.
	You say it's truth.
	Alright, you like that.
	Alright, thank you.
	There's one says truth.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What do you say, truth or trash?
	Truth.
	Truth?
	Really?
	Just the way he told it.
	Just the way he told it.
	Alright, thank you.
	Amazing.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Hello, truth or trash?
	Truth.
	Truth?
	Really?
	Free in a row, say truth.
	I've seen it happen.
	Aw, come on.
	Oh, well, not with the catfish, but I've seen the betas fight with sharks and... But have you ever seen a fish eat its way out of another fish's belly?
	Well, no, but I've seen fish eat other fish.
	All right, all right.
	Well, it must have been the way he told the story, then.
	Well, okay, Angel Eyes, they say it is the truth.
	It is absolutely the truth.
	It is?
	We used to call him G.G., Gorgeous George.
	Now we call him Lucky, for darn lucky.
	I didn't tell you everything.
	Afterwards, my son happens to dissect things.
	He took it and dissected it.
	He opened up the belly with a little hobby knife.
	And most of its internal organs were gone.
	Oh, man!
	The fish had literally eaten his way out.
	The little fish ate the big... Oh, man, that is an incredible story.
	Yeah, and this little fish was no bigger than four inches.
	He was about three to four inches.
	He must have been a little bigger after eating all of that.
	He was small, but I'll tell you, he had some guts to him.
	Well, that must be why they call him... Guts to him, yeah.
	Thank you.
	That must be why they call him a fighting fish.
	Alright, we'll get back to another heartwarming story here in a moment.
	The VTEC...
	I can't...
	I just picture that in my mind.
	You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	Back to our truth or trash line.
	What is your first name, please?
	My name is Rich.
	Rich, you're going to have to speak up good and loud.
	Rich, where are you located?
	I'm at LAX.
	Airport?
	Yes.
	All right.
	Rich, go ahead.
	Well, Art, you live in Pahrump?
	I do.
	Well, I took off in a sailplane out of Pahrump one time, and I headed north, and I was trying to go for a For a distance.
	Now, that's one of those things where a prop plane, a little prop plane, takes you up and then releases you?
	Exactly.
	In fact, it was a guy named Christian who sent me out on a crop duster up there near Calf Haven there.
	Well, I know of the person and I know of the place, so yes, go ahead.
	So he took you up?
	Yeah, he gave me a tow and I released there over Hidden Hills Ranch, and I flew north, and my destination was Ash Meadows.
	Ash Meadows.
	Now, I don't know where that is.
	Well, that is a house of ill repute that has a little runway over there.
	Yeah, they have them here.
	It's about 50 miles north of my takeoff.
	So you're going to try to glide 50 miles?
	Yes.
	All right.
	And sure enough, I made it over to this area, and I located this dirt strip and lined up the glider.
	Pretty much landed right down the center of the runway.
	It was a good thing because when the glider came to a stop, I had noticed there were berms on both sides of the runway from having it been plowed or scraped.
	Right.
	And if I would have been to the left or right just a few inches, literally probably a foot and a half either side of the wing, I probably would have hit the wing and probably done some damage.
	But what I had to do now was get a hold of my official observers.
	And here I am, several hundred yards from this compound.
	What do you mean, official observers?
	Well, to get this record, I have to have people seal a barograph, which is a pressure recording instrument, to prove that it was a continuous flight and I wasn't towed.
	Right, I've got you.
	So here I am, it's kind of windy, so I take off my parachute, put it on the Right wing tip to hold it down and I look up and these trees and this building is off yonder and I look over there and I said, boy, I'm just going to have to walk over there and see if I can get somebody on the phone.
	Sure.
	And they were going to come and tell me out of there.
	So I take off walking, just, you know, a pair of Levi's and a t-shirt and tennis shoes.
	I get about halfway there and I look up and I see something that I don't like at all.
	It's probably the biggest Doberman Pinscher I've ever seen.
	I don't have a weapon and sure enough it notices me and I didn't want to freak out so I kept
	walking slowly, steadily and pretty soon the dog starts coming at me, it starts running
	towards me.
	I didn't know quite what to do about all this.
	I kept walking and when I tried to reach down I picked up kind of a medium sized stick in
	my right hand.
	So far it all rings true.
	This dog is starting to run faster towards me and my heart is beating and I'm clutching this stick.
	Yeah.
	And this dog arrived at me.
	I didn't quite know what I was going to do with the stick because I'd never been attacked by a dog and never beat one up before either.
	And so?
	The dog ends up coming straight to me, screeching halt right in front of me, rolls over.
	I don't know.
	to be petted. I ended up petting the dog on the belly, throwing the stick, playing fetch
	with him. Me and this dog are best friends now. I walked the rest of the half of the
	distance into this compound and it's abandoned. This place has been closed down. I go building
	to building and finally I look in and here's the caretaker in his underwear, drinking a
	beer watching TV. I rap on the door. He is scared.
	He probably had a heart attack because he didn't hear any cars.
	He didn't hear any airplanes.
	His dog is the world's best guard dog.
	And here I am knocking on his door with his dog at my side.
	That's my story.
	All right.
	Good story, but I'm not going to put that to a panel.
	I don't know why.
	It's just an interesting story, but maybe not weird enough.
	However, I will validate one part of it.
	That person he mentioned?
	Does lie.
	That person he mentioned is here.
	And so I would say that story probably is true.
	Um, on our Truth or Trash line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Uh, wait a minute.
	Now you're on the air.
	Hello?
	Hello.
	How's it going?
	Uh, it's going alright.
	Do you have a story?
	Uh, no.
	I just called to say hi.
	Well, goodbye then.
	Uh, we're doing Truth or Trash on that line.
	That's area code 702-727-1222.
	And on the truth or trash line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	How are you doing?
	I'm doing okay.
	Do you have a story?
	I do.
	Is it a good one?
	It's a great one.
	Let's hear it.
	Okay, my name is Gary.
	I live in Troy, Missouri.
	All right.
	I used to work for a major airline, and I was stationed in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
	Okay.
	Working there one day, and we got a call in from an airplane that was flying overhead.
	En route from Philadelphia to Phoenix.
	The captain calls and he told us that he had requested emergency clearance to land in Albuquerque.
	Please be ready on the ramp when he arrived.
	Right.
	He reported that he was hearing a noise, a knocking noise, from down below the cargo hold of the aircraft.
	Bad.
	So, of course the tower did their thing.
	Gave him clearance.
	We called our dispatch back in Philadelphia.
	He landed the plane.
	He landed the plane, raced to the gate, stopped at the gate.
	The police were alerted.
	They didn't know whether this could possibly be, you know, someone in the belly of the plane or what to do.
	They stood there with their guns drawn.
	We went out, opened the aircraft.
	This is where it gets a little bit weird.
	Opened the cargo hold of the aircraft.
	Of course, all the passengers are on the plane.
	All their luggage is loaded in the plane below them.
	We opened the bins and looked in there.
	All the bags were all stacked nice like they had been stacked in Philadelphia to be unloaded in Phoenix.
	In between all the bags was what we referred to as an HR, a human remains.
	Required to get up in the aircraft.
	Look around.
	Couldn't find anything.
	Anything that would make any noise.
	Any knocking noise.
	Talked to the captain.
	He said he had gone back from the cockpit.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Human remains?
	You mean like a coffin?
	Correct.
	Okay, yeah.
	Correct.
	I've got you.
	A casket.
	You know, a sealed casket.
	Sure.
	Yes, sir.
	I've got you.
	The captain wanted to open the casket.
	You know?
	A little eerie.
	Federal law doesn't allow you to do that.
	I understand.
	So it's sealed where it's put on the aircraft and unsealed by whoever picks it up.
	Nevertheless, short of any other reason for this knocking noise, we researched it, could never identify what it was.
	The aircraft came in a little bit hard.
	He required to sit there until the brakes cooled down, went ahead, taxied out, took off, and flew on to Phoenix.
	Never did know what the noise was.
	Interesting story, but again, I'm not submitting it to the panel.
	Because it is so subjective.
	How could we know?
	You don't want to think, of course, that... Some poor souls in a casket.
	I mean, they should have opened the casket if there was a... What I don't understand is why didn't they open the casket?
	I mean, what if?
	Can you imagine that?
	On my Truth or Trash line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	All right, this is the Raven, Don, from KPNW, Eugene, Oregon.
	Yes, sir.
	The story that I have to tell you I'm still shook up about because, well, the conclusion came about four hours ago tonight.
	All right, real quick.
	Okay.
	Six weeks ago, we had friends, neighbors that moved.
	Yes.
	And so, in our complex, the wife went out to the dumpster and had found an ivy plant.
	A what?
	Ivy.
	Ivy plant, yeah, okay.
	Beautiful, beautiful.
	She brought it in and said, look what I found.
	So, I'm not into plants, but I decided, hey, why not take care of it, nurse it, the whole thing.
	So I kept it around on top of the hutch.
	It's beautiful, it grows, the whole thing.
	Well, about six, seven days ago, it had come out, and we have Smudge.
	We have two cats, and one is named Smudge.
	Smudge had gotten tangled up in the ivory plant, and we thought maybe he had a heart attack, or died, or was frustrated, or whatever.
	And it was all wrapped up into the plant.
	Yeah.
	We took him to the vet.
	And he said that either he choked on it, something happened, and the cat died.
	We were really upset about it.
	The whole thing.
	Tonight, to celebrate the 4th of July, we went out to dinner.
	We went into the restaurant. We had to wait because the lines were so long and everything.
	Yes.
	We had friends. They were there. The ones who had moved were there.
	Yes.
	We sit down, have the dinner with them.
	Yeah.
	And we got talking, and they said, well, how's everything going?
	How's the neighborhood and all that?
	We said, fine.
	And they said, how's your cat and all that?
	And the wife got shook up and said, well, Smudgy died.
	And, oh, well, what happened?
	How did it happen?
	And we said, well, it's the strangest thing.
	It got tied up in this ivory plant, and the best that it choked into was eating on it.
	Yeah.
	They both turned white as ghosts.
	She got up.
	The woman got up, went to the bathroom.
	The husband sat there and said, you won't believe what happened.
	That plant was ours.
	We threw it away.
	And I said, well, we got it.
	The wife confiscated it.
	He said, no, you don't understand.
	Four days before we were to move, we have a ferret and they let it run around the house and all of that.
	And they couldn't find that at all.
	Boxes were stacked.
	They went over to where the plant was and the ferret was dead.
	Oh, my God.
	They didn't take the ferret to the vet or anything, but they said it looked like it had Aten on it and choked on it.
	I'm so shook up.
	We didn't even go see fireworks.
	I'm sitting here looking at this plant.
	Raven, I would... Man, I'll tell you, I'd trash that plant.
	Raven, that's a hell of a story.
	Hold on.
	We're going to put that one to the panel.
	Raven's animal-killing ivy plant.
	Truth or trash?
	Hell of a story.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What do you think of Raven's story?
	I'm going to say truth.
	Truth?
	You believe that, huh?
	Yep.
	Well, he sounded pretty shook, didn't he?
	Yep.
	All right.
	East of the Rockies, Raven's ivy-killing plant story.
	Truth or trash?
	This is the plant.
	The story is true.
	Really?
	All right, thank you.
	Wildcard line, Ivy's, no Ivy, Raven's Ivy plant story, truth or trash?
	I believe it's trash because I'd be so shook up I wouldn't even have called.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Okay, West of the Rockies, truth or trash?
	It's truth.
	You think it's the truth?
	Yes.
	Alright, well there it is.
	Three people say it's truth, three out of four is all you need.
	Raven, they say it's the truth.
	Is it really the truth?
	Well, R.S., I've been listening to you for years, and you're going to be hearing me call you again because I'm so shook up about lying.
	It is the trash!
	That, I'll be frank, couldn't do anything.
	I've still got Smudge sitting here, and he's looking at me saying, what are you doing that for?
	What are your praises in a pet bowl?
	Bad story.
	Listen up, folks out there.
	I mean, good grief.
	Well, you see, from Oregon, what do you expect, you know?
	Oh, listen, Raven, that's how you do it to them.
	And you did it to them.
	I love it.
	I'll be calling you again, Art.
	All right, Raven, take care.
	OK, bye-bye.
	Gotcha.
	So the panel's average sinks once again.
	Truth or Trash is what it's called.
	We do it every now and then.
	It's a holiday.
	We're doing it now.
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	I hear the drums echoing tonight.
	She hears only whispers of some quiet conversation.
	She's coming in twelve-thirty flight.
	The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide her toward salvation.
	I stopped to know that along the way I saw the light.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM, from July 4th, 1996.
	Alright folks, holiday weekend, we're gonna do Fast Blast.
	That means you get to say about a sentence or two, so you better make it meaningful.
	At the most paragraph, then we go on to the next call.
	Any line you can get through on is fair game.
	First time callers, 702-727-1222.
	The wild card line, 702-727-1295 West of the Rockies, 1-800-618-8255 East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033 And now, away we go.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	1-800-618-8255, East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033.
	And now, away we go.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	I just wanted to say that Bob Dole, you really blew it.
	I thought as a last resort I might have had a candidate there, but when you came out and
	said that you didn't think cigarettes were addictive and that you weren't a part of the
	cigarette lobby, I had to call it quits.
	Alright, call it quits, huh?
	Cold Turkey, I wonder.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Dr. Democrat here.
	You know, if Clinton's going to win this election by a big shot, Mark, I'm telling you, by a large margin, thank you.
	That was no more Doc Democrat than Man in the Moon.
	First time caller of the line, you're on the air.
	All right, how's it going?
	ADI for tomorrow, goodbye.
	Goodbye.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	This is Esther from Reno.
	Yes.
	Satisfaction.
	Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
	Nine times, to be exact.
	Uh-huh.
	Somebody sent me a fax asking whether a radioactive cat has 18 half-lives.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes.
	Uh, Art, can you form a support group for everyone who wants to be in the room with a nuclear device?
	I love that story.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	I think Hillary is one good looking woman.
	All right.
	Well, uh, there's a majority of one.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
	This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
	All right, thank you.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes, I think ABC Nightly News TV should get three hip hip hoorahs for reporting about the illegal Mexican action in Los Angeles and how they beat up those elderly people and stomped on the flag.
	All right, thank you.
	Well, actually, all of the networks reported on that fracas.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, this is Rob in Alaska, and I just wanted to say that the flute was invented before the wheel.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Are we playing through the trash cart?
	Nope.
	It's over with.
	Yep.
	$1.96.
	Thank you.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	I think we should take all of our troops out of places like Haiti and Bosnia, where they don't belong, and put them on the Mexican border where they can shoot illegal aliens if they come across the border.
	Alright, don't be afraid to say what you think.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	I'd like to tell people to stop urinating on floors of public bathrooms.
	Well, I'll second that.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, I want to wish you a happy Independence Day from Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, California!
	All right.
	First-time caller line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, I just wanted to say how much I love the show and love my wife, Cindy.
	Thanks.
	Thank you.
	That's a stage I'm honored to share, I guess.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Hi.
	Yes, there is a relatively simple solution to the problem of the carcinogenic nature of tobacco.
	All we have to do is mandate that the tobacco companies Uh, contribute and subsidize, um, testing, genetic testing, uh, so that people can cheaply determine whether they are at risk.
	All right, thank you.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Never underestimate the power of LaserCat.
	LaserCat.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	This is Bob from Westlake.
	God bless America and happy Independence Day.
	Indeed.
	First time caller of the line, you're on the air.
	Down in Fort Roe, Nevada!
	Well, we missed the last part.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hey, Art.
	Hey, I sent you some Alien Gray sculptures of the Alien Gray head.
	Did you like them?
	I loved them.
	Thank you.
	You're welcome, Art.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Oh, yeah, Art.
	I want to thank you for the show, and I want to say goodnight, Miss Calabash, wherever you are.
	West of the Rockies, your turn.
	You're on the air.
	Art, Bill, the bovine hormone and genetically altered food is far more dangerous than cigarettes.
	I may have seen the Cobra Cobra, or whatever that bird's name is.
	Large, huge wings, and flying at about the, uh, fly, uh, high as a plane coming in to land.
	Saw his wings against the sky, and they swooped, and he came from the west.
	All right, what was the name of that animal again?
	The c-c-c-cupacabra.
	The what now?
	The cupacabra?
	Yeah.
	The cupacabra.
	First time on our line, you're on the air.
	What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?
	I don't know.
	Wasn't my fault.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Yes, the bees are gone, however, so are the mosquitoes.
	Now, you know, I hadn't noticed that.
	We don't get mosquitoes in the desert, usually, so I don't know.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	ID4, ID4, ID4.
	Oh, ID4.
	Hey, by the way, everybody, remember to listen for my name.
	Somebody sent me a fax and said, In one of the war room shots in ID4, my name was there.
	Oh, one other thing.
	We've got to jump on our webpage to the ID4 page.
	So if you want to see what ID4 is about, go up to my webpage.
	I should have said that earlier.
	It's www.artbell.com.
	www.artbell.com and jump over to the ID4 webpage.
	You won't believe your eyes.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Calvin from Kansas City.
	I thought our troops were supposed to leave Bosnia after a year.
	Now Secretary Perry says, no they're not.
	Clinton does it to us again.
	That's right, and it was so predictable, wasn't it?
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, the story about the lady who, I thought she was shot, got hit by a Pillsbury Dole can.
	Yes.
	That was in a Truth and Trash.
	That was in the Playboy Urban Myth article, too.
	Well, it was a cool story, I'll tell you that.
	Yeah, Brett Butler used it in her act.
	It's a good one, though, isn't it?
	Yes, it is.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	If you're wondering whether good will triumph over evil, well, it just did.
	In fact, it did again.
	And there it did again.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello, Art Bell.
	John from San Diego.
	Hi, John.
	What will be your fate in 1998?
	I don't know.
	I don't look ahead like that, John.
	Wild card line, you're on the air.
	Bob Dole and Bill Clinton are both horrible, miserable candidates.
	They're both sold out.
	Every thinking American should get totally behind former Colorado Governor Lamb.
	He's great, he's fiscally conservative, and he's pro-choice, which is the right way.
	Alright, East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Chupacabra.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	This is the Chupacabra.
	Do you know where your cat Comet is right now?
	Actually, I do.
	Yes, I do.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes, sir.
	I'd just like to tell you that I loved your show.
	It's the first time I've ever listened to it, and I'd like for you to tell me other times that it's going to be on.
	Uh, probably every now and then.
	Keep listening.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Bob Dole and Admiral Stockdale in 96.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Kill them.
	Kill who?
	Kill them before it's too late.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Oh, Orville, I'd like to listen to your show.
	I need Stan Freeman's address, if you have it.
	Oh, no, I don't have it, sir.
	I'm sorry, not handy.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Suzy Sacramento, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
	Oh, yeah, that's right.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes, would you play Midnight Eraser?
	I will do that, yes.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, that's mighty generous to call that pathetic little whining noise I keep hearing, uh, crying wolf.
	Wild Card Line, your turn.
	You're on the air.
	The meek shall inherit the earth, but the strong shall move on.
	Uh, no doubt.
	Uh, they always do, don't they?
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello?
	No, no, no serenades.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, can you please tell Stanton Friedman, next time he's on, I've been waiting, I've sent a self-addressed stamped envelope for the report.
	Alright, well you'll be getting it.
	That's Stanton Friedman you're talking about.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Art, it's hard to get to work when you keep asking me to chase chupacabras out of your car every morning.
	Well, at least you got the name right.
	Wild card line, you're on the air.
	Yes, today is history.
	Tomorrow is a mystery.
	Today is the gift.
	That's why we call it the present.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Happy 5th of July, everybody.
	Yes, indeed.
	It is the day after the birthday.
	Somebody sent me a fax earlier and said, are we counting them up or are we counting down?
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	Hello.
	If you want to see the IP4 movie, don't read Newsweek.
	Don't read the newsreel.
	Don't read the newsreel, Carrico.
	I read it today and I don't need to see the movie now.
	Alright, well that's too bad if they gave it away.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	No matter how fast a fish swims, it never sweats.
	God bless America.
	I guess that would be true about fish, wouldn't it?
	Wild card line, you're on the air.
	Craig from Bakersfield.
	How did the ID4, ID4, how did the fleet of RVs know they were supposed to head toward Area 51?
	No!
	Who knows?
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What's the difference between meat and fish?
	Between meat and fish?
	Yeah.
	Well, there is a difference.
	I don't know exactly what it is.
	one one is uh... from a mammal in the other is uh...
	call the wild card lines area seven oh two seven two seven one two nine five
	uh... west of the rockies you're on the air i just want to say that the liberals are sucking the
	out of for the delight They have banned real fireworks in the United States, in most states.
	Only a few states have real fireworks, like bottle rockets and firecrackers.
	And God bless those states.
	Who do you think was lighting off the bombs bursting in air?
	It wasn't some pyrotechnic company.
	It was the Founding Fathers.
	Revolutionary.
	Alright, thank you.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Hi, yeah, my husband's a great fan of yours, and he loves your voice diffuser, and he was wondering where he could get one.
	You mean, you mean my special, my special weird voice effect machine?
	Exactly.
	I told the vendor it's only at a secret location.
	I can't give it away.
	But maybe I'll get them on as an advertiser, then you'll know, alright?
	Okay.
	Alright, thank you.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air, hello.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Every frog will have his day.
	That's right.
	That was a pretty good story.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Against boredom, even the gods themselves struggle in vain.
	Indeed they do.
	First time caller in line, you're on the air.
	An unsung hero is a man who knows he can't sing and doesn't.
	Alright, we'll be right back.
	Somewhere in time with Art Bell continues courtesy of Premiere Networks.
	you you
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Uh, newsflash, uh, uh, uh, President Segal gets knocked down by two Osprey Hawks on, uh, independence day of report that hillary hired a hawk
	but it's true that that they released uh... this big bird
	and two other birds uh... you know i i guess president in the dynamics of
	releasing these two other birds knocked it down and they had to go recover it and put it
	back in uh...
	intensive care or something It was kind of strange.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, the next person that calls in through the trash with a dead cat story will have a true Chupacabra story to tell.
	That sounds like a threat.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hi Art, this is Jim from Harrisburg.
	Quick quiz.
	If you're inside a bathroom, or if you're outside a bathroom, you're an American, what are you when you're inside a bathroom?
	Um, I don't even want to guess at that one.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Art, let me ask you this.
	What if this was not a hypothetical question?
	What if this was not a hypothetical question?
	Yeah, something to think about, isn't it?
	Yeah, it is.
	Thank you.
	First Time Caller Line, you're on the air.
	You know what we all share with Crocs?
	Uh, what?
	We're all gonna croak eventually.
	That's true.
	We will.
	We will.
	We're all headed toward Croakdom.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Can you explain to your listeners why approximately 90% of all American college professors are liberal Democrats?
	Yes, because we have a liberal educational system and so what else would you expect?
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	I just want to say happy birthday America, you're still the greatest.
	Ah, yes you are.
	The late great, that's what we don't want to hear.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Art?
	Under Clinton, we live in a dictatorship.
	If Doc Democrat and Charlie Liberal and anyone else does not believe that, tell them to write on their next tax check to the IRS that it's paid in protest and that Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton are two pieces of garbage.
	See what will happen.
	See if they have the guts to do that.
	Alright.
	Have you done it?
	Uh, I did, uh, half of that in 1968.
	Half of that?
	Half of that, sir?
	I wrote, paid in protest in 1968.
	Yeah, I know, but you didn't say the line about, uh, Bill and Hillary, right?
	Well, alright, no guts.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Yes, and this is to Geekmeister Yankhart, return to your Commodore for admiration.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	What's your name, Changa?
	Chewbacca.
	Uh, nobody can get that right.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	How you doing, Art?
	This is Richard.
	I'm calling from Roswell, New Mexico.
	Yes.
	Just want to say America needs to grow up.
	We need to decriminalize marijuana in prohibition.
	And I just wanted to say hi to James, working on his BBS across town in Roswell.
	All right.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Mark Bell is an alien from outer space.
	Well, that's a good hypothetical.
	Wild card line, you're on the air.
	Resistance is futile.
	Your life, as it has been, is over.
	From this time forward, you will service us.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, the best ticket would be Nancy Castlebaum and Dan Myers.
	That's the dream team, huh?
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hey, Aaron, two things real quick.
	What do you think about Carlos Castaneda?
	Can you get him on?
	And to you, hemp for victory and have a great night.
	Hemp for victory, huh?
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Chupacabra!
	Come on, people, get it right!
	Nobody gets it right but you, sir.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	There is something everywhere.
	Uh, you know, that's a pretty heavy statement.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, you need to tell Linda that since they didn't find that drum, that that was just a weird re-synthesis Of the intestinotomy of Brad Favre.
	We'll have to think about that one.
	First on caller line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, when Cain killed Abel, his daddy looked up and said, oh my God, we're being quickened.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Oh yeah, Art, you the man.
	Hey, you remember Mufon, Art?
	I do.
	Oh, you are?
	You know they look for radio broadcasters, don't you?
	Mufon is the mutual UFO network.
	Yeah, I just got their material.
	I think it's great.
	You know the guy out here in Hawaii?
	He's a major in the Air Force.
	Ain't that a trip?
	Yep.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	The end of the world is tomorrow.
	It may be.
	Well, one of these days, that's going to be right.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes, sir.
	This is Colombo, and I just want to say that, you know, it's a wonderful show there, and you've certainly got the clues right.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	God bless America and happy birthday.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, they fired up HAARP yesterday, the other day, for 2.3 seconds, which caused a power failure, and we lost all satellite feed.
	Well, as a matter of fact, I have a fax from a pilot who lost his navigational system, as did all of them.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	There's nothing nowhere.
	There's nothing nowhere.
	Well, that was not as profound as the other one, because there's something everywhere.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Keel, Bullseye, Squirtle.
	I didn't get that.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Dennis Rodman, roll!
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, for all of America to consider, why do they keep doing a new firework show on television this time of year?
	Why don't they just keep showing an old one?
	You know, that's a very good point.
	We'll end the half hour on that point.
	A firework show.
	Video.
	They all do look the same year to year to year, don't they?
	You're listening to Art Bell, Somewhere in Time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th 1996 Music playing...
	Music playing...
	Midnight at the Oasis Send your camel to bed Shadows paintin' our faces Traces of romance in our hair Heaven's holdin' a half moon Shinin' just for us Let's slip off to a sand dune, real soon.
	Kick up a little dust, come on.
	Cactus is our friend, he'll point it out the way.
	Come on, till the evening ends, till the evening ends.
	You don't have to answer, Now, we take you back to the past on Art Bell Somewhere in Time.
	And we're just kind of goofing off this morning.
	It's a holiday.
	Most people, uh, most of you out there I suppose have four days off and we're about to get back to Fast Plus.
	thunder You're listening to Art Bell, somewhere in time.
	Tonight featuring Coast to Coast AM from July 4th, 1996.
	Back to Fast Blast again.
	Again, you're welcome to call on any number you can get through on.
	It's the only time we ever do that.
	First time callers, area code 702.
	727-1222.
	The wild card lines.
	Area code 702-727-1295.
	West of the Rockies, 1-800-618-8255.
	East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033.
	card lines. Area code 702-727-1295. West of the Rockies, 1-800-618-8255.
	East of the Rockies, 1-800-825-5033. West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Larry, long time listener, first time caller.
	Two quick things.
	How do you think the Braves are going to do this year, and when are you going to tell the Baby Tender story again?
	All right, thank you.
	I have no idea how the Braves are going to do.
	Absolutely no idea.
	And as for the other story, I don't know.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hitler is alive and well in Miami.
	Hitler is alive and well in Miami.
	Hitler is alive and... What does that mean?
	Well, East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	I don't hear any more about Hippocampus.
	What happened?
	Oh, they're out there.
	They're out there.
	You'll be hearing about them, or seeing them.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello.
	Good morning, Trey.
	K-M-E-D radio would never be the same without you.
	That's true.
	Well, actually, it's not on the air.
	That's a long story.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Good morning, Art.
	Garrett from Santa Rosa?
	Yes, sir.
	And I'd like to say, if you're in Amsterdam, please stop by a coffeehouse and burn one in the memory of Tom Jefferson, Hemp Smoker.
	Alright, yeah, I hear it's legal over there.
	We'll see.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Could you please pass the chupacabra?
	At least they're saying it right.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Good morning, James from Rockwell.
	Working on my PBS, wanted to say hi to Richard and Robert.
	Well, they said hi to you, so now it's been a two-way deal.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	If a chupacabra called Art Bell, would he tell it to turn down its radio?
	Uh, probably not.
	He'd just take a bite out of me.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	When you see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's a trick.
	Don't go towards it.
	Yeah, I know.
	I've heard that one before.
	East of the... What was that, John?
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes, I'd like to say that angels do exist.
	That's it?
	That's it.
	Alright, thank you.
	Angels exist.
	Well, they may.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	First Time Caller Line, you're on the air.
	The quickening will come to a head in two years.
	Well, that's a good guess.
	Wild Card Line, your turn.
	You're on the air.
	March on, Boris Shelton.
	March on to the bar.
	Get a glass of vodka and don't buy that lady a car.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Great show again, Art.
	Love you here in Nashville.
	Good night.
	Good night.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Uh, hi.
	Not all conservatives are stupid people, but all stupid people are conservative.
	Oh, now that's mean-spirited.
	First Time Caller Line, you're on the air.
	Hey Art, I've been half-up by a ghost or demon for years now, but it told me if I called you, it would fall to the phone lines to you and bother you instead.
	So have fun.
	It may be true, sir.
	God, I love this thing.
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, we've got a beautiful used yucca mucca down here for you at the mountain.
	We've got pre-apocalypse financing and a low 6.66 financing rate.
	This is Don and Casey, Art.
	All right, thank you.
	Used to the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Do you think Rush might actually be a secret mole or paid agent of the Democratic Party?
	A lot of people have been asking that lately.
	I wonder why.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Art.
	I was just wondering if I could get you to send out your fax number again.
	I had it written down and I lost it and I had a couple things I want to send to you, sir.
	Alright, here it comes.
	It's area code 702-727-8499.
	code 702-727-8499. 702-727-8499. Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	702-727-8499.
	Yeah, the U.S.
	Secret Service has a lead on the chupacabra.
	They find that the sightings only occur when Bill lets Hillary out at night.
	Oh, see, that's mean-spirited, too.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, all right, when's the next time you're gonna be on AOL?
	Uh, well, probably in about 20 minutes.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hey, Rocky, let's me pull a chupacabra out of my head.
	People are consumed with that, aren't they?
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hey, Art, this is Anson, the angel in Missoula.
	And I just have a little poem for you.
	It's green as a preacher's pocket, but not nearly as deep.
	Whenever I take my frog to church... God, how did that go?
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yes, our Charlie Liberal has you at a disadvantage, since you argue some knowledge, and that's limited, and he argues some ignorance, and that's unlimited.
	Well, that's a perspective.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	The Chupacabra will be nominated as Dole's running mate for two obvious reasons.
	Number one, he'll give the ticket a kinder and gentler disposition.
	Number two, he knows how to get Clinton's goat.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Who is who generally, whereas who is who individually is not directly so.
	A wild card line, you're on the air.
	Charlie Liberal in California.
	I don't think so.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Who would win in a blood sucking race?
	The chupacabra or a lawyer?
	Uh, I won't answer that.
	What's the Rockies?
	You're on the air.
	Ross Perot, down here in Dallas.
	Now, you said yesterday, Art, some guy put a camera in an outhouse?
	That's right.
	Did he use a number one or number two lens?
	That's disgusting.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	I just have a little poem for you about 4th of July.
	Can I read it?
	If it's little.
	It's little.
	It's the 4th of July in all over town.
	The bars are serving round after round.
	Another three-day weekend for execs and bankers to head for the hills and get away from the hassles and noise of a business day.
	A day for families to head for the park for food and fun until it gets dark.
	Then the excitement starts mounting.
	The time is near.
	Soon the sky will light up.
	They've wanted all year for the first explosion that fills the sky with millions of colors 10,000 feet high.
	Alright, well that'll have to do it.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air, hello.
	Hey, I made it from a payphone of all things.
	Well, go.
	Hey, I got a question for you.
	Is Dr. Pepsi going to be on any time in the near distant future?
	In the near distant future, yes.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, for those HP Lovecraft fans out there.
	Cthulhu and Yog-Sop-Op for President 96.
	Alright.
	First time caller line, you're on.
	I didn't know if you'd talk about California making it illegal to sell lottery tickets out of their dispensers.
	Why don't they close down the quick pick ticket machines as well, then?
	All right.
	Wildcard line, your turn.
	You're on the air.
	Thank God for the sun.
	The sun, Jesus Christ.
	Thank you.
	A nice little religious-ism.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Art, how can you be two places at once when you're really nowhere at all?
	Oh, I can do that easily.
	I've done it for years.
	Demonstrated it right here.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Art, why did the liberal cross the road?
	I don't know.
	To tax the other side.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Art Robert Newallian, if Tarzan and Jane were Cajuns, what would that make Cheetah?
	I'm not going to answer that.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hi, I can't help but wonder when it's over and done if we've forgotten that the 4th of July is more than just parties and lights in the sky.
	I doubt that we have.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Leave Lucky alone or I'll put him in your toilet bowl.
	Alright.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Art the Meek has inherited the Earth.
	Goodbye.
	They have it now, huh?
	First Time Caller Line, your turn.
	Okay, in answer to that guy's ID4 question... I can't hear you!
	Okay, in answer to that guy's ID4 question, the recreational vehicle New to go to Area 51 because of Will Smith's character.
	All right.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art.
	Brynn Marie.
	Hi.
	Charlie Liberal might not suffer from stress, but God Almighty, is he ever a carrier?
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hey, Art.
	John from Blatherville.
	Yes?
	Have you seen the Clinton Chronicles?
	Long ago, sir.
	Thank you.
	First Time Caller Line, you're on the air.
	Hey, I've got a better one any day of the week, and here it is.
	Ah, that'll set them going, believe me.
	First time caller in line, you're on the air.
	Eight o'clock curfew for Bill on the Hill.
	Thank you.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	If Clinton and Hillary get back in, They'll finish destroying America by appointing six Marxist Supreme Court justices.
	Well, there's a nice little vision.
	First-time caller line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Sean in Seattle, figs and taxes equals butter and Teflon.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, who has correct, corrupt, and crackers?
	I give up, Pooh.
	Hillary Clinton.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Uh, what do you get when you cross a Chupa with a Bill Clinton?
	What do you get?
	You got a tuba that'll suck your blood, deny you ever did it.
	Well, I feel for you.
	That's, I feel your pain, sir.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	A very important government official was at a news conference about the economic decline of the United States.
	A reporter asked this official about why jobs were leaving and going overseas.
	The official began to croak out some sort of an answer, but after the first two syllables of, well, it's this way, He coughed, wheezed, convulsed, and fell over into a crumpled heap.
	And the lie killed him.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Okay, Art, guess who this is.
	Wub-wub, wub-wub, wub-wub.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, this is Dick from Paradise.
	Hello.
	That's all I wanted to say.
	Alright, Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Hey, Art.
	Hey, uh, imagine if, uh, he put that, uh, fish in a soup bowl.
	Ease to the Rockies, you're on the air.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Art Bell is taking calls from morons at Redial.
	That's Redial.
	First time thinkers can call Art Bell when the lines are all busy.
	Ease to the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, the red phone rings and Clinton answers the phone and he says, Hillary, it's World War III, what are we going to do?
	Oh, let me ask Eleanor.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Uh, radio talk show junkie.
	Whoa, you sound just like Art Bell.
	Let me turn my radio on.
	Thank you.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Mr. Art Bell, this is Mr. Pater from Alliance, Nebraska.
	You got my eyes wide open, big guy.
	Aye, thank you.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, hello, Art.
	The secret to life is just mind over matter.
	If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
	That's true.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Uh, yes.
	Hillary Clinton, uh, wrote a book called It Takes a Village.
	Is this title somehow Freudian?
	Uh, probably.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	What was that?
	Well, we've got two of them.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Jericho from Seattle.
	Here's to knowing aliens do probably show up.
	They're gonna say, planet Earth, human beings.
	Oh yeah, sure, they made some good movies.
	Other than that, meh.
	Well, that's about all we've got left, some say, is our motion pictures.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	If the chupacabra ate pigs while it was flying through the air, would it be called a flying pig plucker?
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi!
	I see you!
	And the chupacabra see you!
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Who's the choice for your life?
	Bob Clinton or Bill Doe?
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Yes, I want a president who has bladder control, who believes in gun control, and knows mouth control when he's on the stage show.
	Four more years!
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello there.
	Oh.
	The more the Republicans attack Bill Clinton, the bigger he's gonna win in November.
	That may be so.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	I read In Contempt, OJ did it, and a new space shuttle is real cool.
	Yeah, it is.
	X-33 to B. Uh, first time caller line, you're on the air.
	Again, wild card line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, I wish all the jerks that moved to California would go home and complain.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Thanks for helping me get through another night, Ark.
	God bless you and your wife.
	Thank you.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, Art, this is Mark, the astronomer up in Seattle.
	People wonder whether astronomers observe UFOs.
	The answer is yes, very definitely, and I'd like very much to talk to you about it sometime.
	Do you have an email address?
	Yes, my email address is artbell at aol.com.
	That's artbell at aol.com.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Uh, yeah.
	Alcohol is the devil's urine.
	Uh, yeah, it may be.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	Liberalism is communism on the time installment plan.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Uh, Ralph Mayer for President.
	You know, a lot of people are saying that lately.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hi, York.
	Good show.
	Oh, thank you.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	No, you're not.
	First Time Caller Line, you're on the air.
	Mr. Eleanor Roosevelt, in my first conversation with Hillary, I told her that Bob Dole was an old fart!
	Wildcard Line, you're on the air.
	Good morning, Art.
	Greg in the Blackwinter track just saying, looking forward to seeing all your listeners out there in Copenhagen with you and your wife.
	All right, you're coming along with us?
	Yes, sir.
	I was on the Hong Kong trip last year, too.
	All right, we're looking forward to seeing you.
	Bye-bye, Art.
	Take care.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Wildcard, you said that everyone has the right to uh... to choose to uh... can't interact associate with that
	whomever they want to try it
	yet you also said that uh... discrimination to is incorrect now this is uh... hypocritical no i don't know it's not
	hypocritical at all actually it's a very constant position it's one of libertarianism
	first-time caller line you're on the air well mister arthur the best
	thing or the working for an insomniac and to uh...
	I always wanted to say this, Happy July F...
	Happy July 4th, number 220, America.
	Well, a little late, but you got it.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	I'm not a daddy.
	I'm not a daddy.
	I bet you're not.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hey, you may have already bought one a million dollars.
	That's right.
	That's what most of those envelopes say.
	I still open them.
	Don't you?
	First Time Caller Line, you're on the air.
	Wherever you go, there you are.
	That's true.
	Wild Card Line, you're on the air.
	Yeah, are we in the Ice Age or Global Warming?
	Which one?
	Uh, it's really, day-to-day, it's hard to choose.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Uh, yeah, personally, I think Dennis Miller would be a great president.
	Dennis Miller.
	All right.
	West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello, my name is Bill.
	Uh, uh, uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	First Time Caller Line, your turn.
	Wild Card Line, can you improve on those last two calls?
	Yeah, nine out of ten doctors agree that Art Bell is the number one cause of insomnia in America.
	Well, that's kind.
	Anyway, East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Yeah, Ralph Nader is the tree-hugging socialist.
	Is he?
	Yep.
	All right, thanks.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Hello, Americans.
	You know what the news is.
	In a minute, you're going to hear the rest of the story.
	Wild Card Line, your turn.
	Her Majesty the Queen has commanded her lady-in-waiting, Susan Hussey, to get her husband, Marmaduke Hussey of the BBC, to get Art Bell on the air.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Why did someone as intelligent, perceptive, and literate as Charlie Liberal spend so much time calling a show like this?
	Uh, well, I don't know.
	Why do you... This is worry.
	He doesn't know what to say or hangs up.
	What's it gonna be?
	Ah, good evening, comrade.
	It's good to speak to you.
	Three quick thoughts.
	Number one, good capitalist welcomings for new sponsor, absolutely stinking meat plants.
	Number two, a political thought which is not likely to happen but would be nice.
	Uh, Mr. Dole, you are now out of U.S.
	Senate after 30 years of absolute uselessness.
	As president, I would like to say that if you will agree not to run, I too shall not run, and we will throw open parties for new membership.
	First time caller on the line, you're on the air.
	I believe that someday computers will be tracking men down like animals.
	Really?
	In the future.
	I believe they're going to set this up and it's going to happen in the future.
	And you may be one of the first ones they'll get.
	Oh, no.
	Wildcard line, you're on the air.
	East of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	No, West of the Rockies, you're on the air.
	Hello, Art.
	Hello.
	Hi, I was calling for your mailing address.
	My mailing address?
	Yes.
	Oh, I don't have time.
	This is fast blast.
	I can't do that that fast.
	I'm sorry.
	We'll do that tomorrow night.
	First time caller line, you're on the air.
	Good night, America.
	Yep, all right.
	I guess that does it.
	He did it.
	Wherever he was from, he did it.
	And so I want to thank you all.
	It has been sort of an enjoyable, fun evening.
	We'll be back tomorrow morning with you never know what.
	In fact, you never know what we're going to do here.
	So thank you all.
	Happy birthday, America.
	And good night, America, from the high desert, indeed.
	Good night, America.

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