Why Ma Bell Calls
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What's on there?
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I've turned my video screen off because it is simply too distracting.
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However, here is Ma Bell.
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Yo, Ma.
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Say hello.
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Hi, everybody.
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I'm petrified, but I guess I'll get over that.
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Tell them where you are, where you're from.
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Oh, I'm from Eastern Long Island, out on the tip of Long Island near Montauk Point.
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And Clemington, Nevada is so different here.
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Oh, yes.
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I do want to thank everybody for the avalanche of facts which have been pouring in.
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And I wish I could thank you all personally, but it's wonderful to know how much you love.
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All right, and it's hard for me to call Mark, and if I want to, I'll call him Trey.
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You'll understand.
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Through the hour, go ahead and call me Trey.
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It doesn't matter.
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Okay, it's more natural for me to call you Trey.
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Why was I named Trey, by the way?
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Well, you're the third Arthur William Bell.
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Right.
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And it's just a way of saying that, I guess.
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In French, it's irrigation French, no?
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No, I think it has to do with cards, playing cards.
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Ace boost track.
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Ah.
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See, I don't even know that about myself.
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All right.
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Well, what I would like you to do, if, by the way, it's good not to in Long Island right now.
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That's why I've seen the way.
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I am absolutely delighted to be away from Long Island at this point.
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I doubt if I could even get out my driveway.
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All right, I would like to subject you to an hour of questions from the audience.
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So any of you out there who would like to ask my mom a question about me, now have that opportunity.
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As you can see, when we do shows, we do about different shows every night.
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It's absolutely incredible.
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Let's give it a try.
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Let's see what we get.
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Who knows?
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West of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hello, Ma Bell.
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Hi.
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What's your son's favorite meal?
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Could he cook?
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That's easy.
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He loves very plain food, things like hamburgers and spaghetti.
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I just had a hamburger tonight.
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Pardon?
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I just had a hamburger tonight.
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We had spaghetti.
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Spaghetti?
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You said he got sick that one day from the spaghetti.
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Oh, no, no, no, that's not true.
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Thank you very much.
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No, I didn't get sick from spaghetti.
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I got sick from a sandwich that came from an unnamed restaurant.
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I won't name the restaurant.
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It was barbecued beef.
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And I got sick after I ate some spaghetti, but the spaghetti was down for about five minutes before I got sick.
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It came from hours earlier, and so there you are.
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First time call online, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hello.
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Hi, you gotta.
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I'm your brother now, remember?
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Turn your radio off, sir.
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Yep.
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Okay.
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Well, I didn't know it was that.
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Turn your radio off, please.
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Okay, but.
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All right, thanks.
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Okay, well.
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Yeah, no.
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Now, after all that aggravation.
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What aggravation?
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Patrick wanted to talk to.
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Who's Patrick?
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Huh?
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Who is Patrick?
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With my metal part.
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Or.
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Huh?
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I think he's like a ghostly figure.
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I don't know.
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All right, I think you're both on medication.
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Wildcard line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hello.
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Hello there.
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West of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Good morning.
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Oh, hello, Ma Bell.
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Hi.
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You tell us a sweetheart.
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I just want to say hi, and I really love your son, Joe, and I think it must have been really amazing growing up with him or have him grown up with you.
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It certainly was.
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It was quite an exploration.
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What do you think of his UFO encounter?
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Well, I think the whole thing about UFOs is fascinating, and I don't know much about it except what I hear him talking about, but I believe in them.
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I believe in them, too.
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And I just want to say hello to Phil and Paul also.
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And have a wonderful night, and I love your show.
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All right, take care, my friend.
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East of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Where are you calling from, please?
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This is Tim from Denver, KO Country.
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Hey, Tim.
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Good morning, Ma Bell.
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Hi, Tim.
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I just wanted to say that I think your son is delightful, and I'm sure he gets it from somewhere.
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So even though I don't know you, I know where he gets all of his politeness and his intelligence and his great rapport with the audience.
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Well, that's very sweet of you.
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My question.
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First of all, do you get to listen to your son in New York?
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Every single night.
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I have a chihuahua.
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And I was recently widowed.
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So the chihuahua is now my companion.
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And we listen to him all night, share a snack in the middle of the night.
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But if I can't listen to him, then I turn on my real talk, which tapes the rest of the show.
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Oh, I see.
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Terrific.
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Well, that's great.
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I'm glad to hear that.
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I log in for my sponsor.
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That's great, too.
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Oh, yeah.
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Hi, Sue, and praying.
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Hi, friends.
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What I was going to say is after this hour here that you spent with us, if you enjoy it, I was wondering if you were going to maybe fall into David Letterman's mom's footsteps and do some remote reports from around the country as she's covered the World Series for Dave on his show and things.
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I just thought that might be something you would...
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Yeah, actually, Letterman has made kind of a star out of his mom, hasn't he?
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He sure has.
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I don't think I'm in that category.
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Category.
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Well, anyway, it's great to hear you.
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I'm glad that you get to listen to your son.
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I wish you a long life and happiness.
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Thank you.
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All right.
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Do you care to tell them how old you are?
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No.
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Well, okay.
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All right.
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First time caller align, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Good morning.
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Good morning to you.
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Where are you, sir?
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I'm in Idaho.
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Peter, how are you?
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Okay, Peter, speak up good and loud.
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You're a little hard to hear.
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Yeah, okay.
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I got a question for you, Mrs. Bell.
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How are you?
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I'm fine, thanks.
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What's the test of it?
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Does Darren have any brothers or sisters?
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Huh?
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Good question.
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Yes, he has two sisters, one in Oakland, California, and one in West Hartford, Connecticut.
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And she was a terrible tease with them when they were growing up.
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Well, there were pains in the neck here growing up.
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Well, they have a good relationship now that they're all adults.
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Well, right.
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But I was, see, I was the oldest.
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And I think it's the hardest for the oldest.
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I do, too.
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Yeah, because it's like I had to break you in for everything, and then they slid right into your earner.
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All right.
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West of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hi.
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Hello there.
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Goodbye.
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First time caller line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Well, good morning, Art.
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Good morning, Mrs. Bell.
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How are you?
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Fine, thank you.
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Where are you, sir?
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I'm in Chandler, Arizona.
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Chandler.
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All right.
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From looking at her picture in your book right now, very attractive woman.
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Thank you.
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I wanted to say that, and I'm sure you're still just as attractive.
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Well, I was wondering, was Art interested in the type of thing that he's interested now?
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You know, what a show is all about when he was a younger child.
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In other words, radio?
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Oh, just the topics you talk about, just in general.
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Oh, okay.
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Everything like that.
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All right.
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All right.
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It's a good question.
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Was I?
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Well, he's always been interested in radio and a ham radio operator, as you know.
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I tore apart a bunch of your appliances, didn't I?
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What did you say?
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I tore apart a bunch of your appliances, electrical appliances.
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Oh, yes, when he was about three years old, maybe even younger.
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It really began early, huh?
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He cut he cut the cord off my plug, off my toaster.
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I needed it.
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Because he needed it for one of his electrical.
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He had taken a cardboard box and plugged it into that.
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Because he was just a baby, but that was sort of a signal of things to come, I think.
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Probably lucky I lived through that, huh?
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Right, although it wasn't plugged in at the time, fortunately.
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There's something you don't know, but maybe you do know it.
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I don't know if I put it in the book or not.
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I think I didn't.
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I was afraid to.
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When I was very young, and I was experimenting with electricity, I got Tina to help me.
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Tina's my older sister.
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And we wired Barbara into an electric chair.
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That's in the book, I did.
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Is that in the book?
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Yes.
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It's well that you didn't find out about that until I wrote the book, I think.
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It certainly is.
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But we were going to plug her into the wall.
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It was pretty awful.
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East of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hello.
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Hi, I'm calling from Miss Geekin, Michigan.
Dee's Cruise Update
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Miss Keegan.
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All right.
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Yeah, my name is Dee.
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It is very cold here.
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And I just wanted to say hi to Marbelle.
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And I wanted to ask her if she was planning on going on the trip with you.
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No.
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No, I'm not.
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Is it D, did you say?
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D. D.
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Oh, hi, D.
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No, I'm not planning on going on the trip, but I think they're going to have a wonderful time.
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And I do think Trey is planning to take his son with him, which is going to be a first and a wonderful experience for a young man.
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Actually, she went on the cruise that I'm about to go on sometime ago, didn't you?
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Roughly that cruise, you do know in that area.
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Yes.
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And you would recommend that for a trip to bring children on?
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Well, I think I'll let, yes, I think any traveling is wonderful for youngsters.
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Okay, thank you very much.
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All right, thank you.
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Thank you.
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Oh, yes.
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You know, he's 14 now, and I think he's ready for that kind of an experience.
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It's very broadening to travel.
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Very broadening to travel, and he'll come back a changed young man.
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East of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell, Top OD morning.
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Where are you, please?
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I am in Franceville, St. Cloud, Minnesota.
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St. Cloud, Minnesota.
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Hey, how cold is it?
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It's, well, last night it was 35 below, and tonight it's moving towards that, too.
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We've got record cold weather all through Minnesota tonight.
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They showed a picture of a guy throwing hot water into the air, which came down as ice crystals.
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That's about right.
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And there was another man who opened or had a can of pop that was out for just a few minutes, and when he opened it up, it was frozen solid.
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Oh, my gosh.
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Well, anyway, you're on the air with my mom.
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Do you have a question for my mom?
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It's a one-time opportunity here.
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Yeah.
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Hi, Mom.
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Hi.
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I just love hearing you, and it's so nice to have you visiting with us.
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And I have been thinking about you and have been concerned.
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Have you, I'm sure you're aware of the predictions that Gordon Michael Gallian has made for Long Island.
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I have heard that it's a possibility that Long Island might not be there sometime, but I don't like to dwell on the thought.
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Okay, are you planning to stay there?
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Or are you planning to maybe move back and be close to Trey?
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Well, of course, that would be wonderful, but my home is on Long Island, and my roots are sort of there.
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I think almost anywhere you lived in this country, there are, you know, there are scary things.
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Things to worry about.
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Yeah, things to worry about, you know.
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And as we speak, by the way, Long Island's getting clobbered, so, in fact, the whole Northeast is.
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I don't know.
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I think Brokal was right tonight.
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They're running out of words to describe this winter.
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Now, you've been through a lot of winters, right?
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I mean, you lived in the Northeast all your life.
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Right.
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I abandoned the Northeast, as you know, as soon as I could.
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Well, I know you love warm weather, and I don't blame you.
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I do, yes.
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And so, is this winter substantially worse than others you've seen?
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Do you think the weather's changing?
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Put you on the spot here.
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I think what you talk about, the quickening, is here.
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I mean, I think the weather is weird all over the country.
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It's the floods, the fires, the snows and the blizzards.
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We went through a blizzard.
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Earthquakes, all of it.
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Oh, it's scary.
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It is scary.
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All right.
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The two of us will be back in just a moment.
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Stay right there.
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For about five minutes to the bottom of the hour to Ma Bell and your questions.
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It's actually my mom.
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She's here in the desert with me, all the way from frigid, snow-locked Long Island, New York.
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All right, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Where are you calling from, please?
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Metford Ogle.
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All right.
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It's Trish.
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Hello, Trish.
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I was just wondering, Ma Bell, what station do you hear Art on in New York?
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My friend is there, and he can't hear it at all anywhere.
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Well, I've been listening currently to Rochester, which I think is called WHAM in Rochester.
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Yes, sir.
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Yes.
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And you can't get that either.
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It's odd.
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Well, she has it, too.
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I have the wonderful Sanjian radio that Trey gave me, and that and the selective tenant together bring it in very well.
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Maybe that's what it is.
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Plus, we're about to come on in Hamden, where we're on WABZ, and we're coming on WELI shortly, which is very clear and very strong and very close.
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Right across the sound from Connecticut.
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W E L I?
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Yes, uh-huh.
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And what else?
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Well, we were on WABZ, but we're moving over to W-E-L-I.
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Oh.
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So, that's the answer to your question.
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Okay, well, thanks.
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All right, thank you.
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Wildcard line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hi.
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What's the most trouble Art ever got into?
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That's a good question, actually.
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What is the most trouble I ever got into?
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I remember selling 22s in school.
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I didn't even know about that.
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Oh, damn.
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I took a bunch of 22s into school.
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You know, I had a 22.
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Remember, Dad gave me a 22.
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Well, I remember the 22 that you shot up all the neighborhood mailboxes today.
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That was a BB gun.
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Oh, well, I don't know the difference, anyway.
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Well, the difference is a hole as opposed to a big dent.
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Yes, I did.
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I did, too.
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I was always into guns.
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As a youngster, I guess I got my first.
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When did I get my first gun back well?
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I think so.
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And you had to campaign for a long time before your father would let you have it.
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No, I'm still into guns, but I've learned a lot.
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All right.
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East of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hello.
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Hi, Ma Bell.
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Hi.
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This is Paul Alp from Tamakis, Texas.
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Good evening.
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W-O-I-I.
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Big station, yes, indeed.
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Very big.
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And I wanted to know.
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How was it?
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Did you ever expect Art?
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I mean, I think it is.
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When you say it's big, do you mean physically or in radio?
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Oh, in radio.
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Well, he is physically tall, too, but no, I didn't.
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I didn't realize the great potential he had, and I'm so proud of him, I can't tell you.
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Men, for your information, caller, I didn't expect it either.
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Well, you carry out today, success.
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It's true.
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We're doing very well, and I have a lot of people to thank for that.
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I guess the one right next to me, more than any other.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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All right.
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We're a little short on time here to the bottom of the hour.
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First-time caller line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
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Hi, Pa Bell.
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Hi.
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Where are you?
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I'm in Lincoln, Nebraska.
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All right.
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Cold, I bet.
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21 below.
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Oh, my God.
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That's a record.
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It's really cold.
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It's really exciting to talk to people all over the country.
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I mean, to be talking to Nebraska.
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Amazing.
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Really great.
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I know I feel the same way.
► 00:16:48
Hey, listen, hon, we're coming up on the bottom of the hour.
► 00:16:50
Can you hold over?
► 00:16:51
You bet I could.
► 00:16:52
All right, stay right where you are in cold, frigid Lincoln.
► 00:16:56
The whole country's cold.
► 00:16:57
Back with Ma Bell in a moment.
► 00:16:59
is cbc like having the internet on the radio Peoria's talking.
► 00:17:16
Here again, Art Bell.
► 00:17:17
Here again I am, along with Ma Bell, who's here from Long Island, New York.
► 00:17:23
It's great to have my mom here, and it is your opportunity to ask her a question.
► 00:17:28
I was really joking.
► 00:17:28
You can ask her anything you want.
► 00:17:31
We are continuing to say hello to people on video, and they're continuing to say hello to us, and it is working like a bandit, it would seem.
► 00:17:42
So back to it we go.
► 00:17:46
Let's see, where shall we go?
► 00:17:47
Wildcard line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:17:50
Hello.
► 00:17:50
Hello, ma'am.
► 00:17:51
How are you?
► 00:17:52
Hi.
► 00:17:52
I'm going from Springfield, Illinois, home of a balmy neck of 22 degrees.
► 00:17:57
Oh, my goodness.
► 00:17:58
I'm going to put on shorts and a tank top.
► 00:18:02
Two questions for me, if I could.
► 00:18:05
Art, as you probably are well aware, obviously has very, very interesting taste in music.
► 00:18:10
And I'm wondering if you listen to a lot of music, and if so, what kind you like.
► 00:18:16
Also, I was curious when Art was a teenager.
► 00:18:19
Was he at all popular with the ladies?
► 00:18:24
All right, both good questions.
► 00:18:26
Music first.
► 00:18:27
Okay, so far as music is concerned, I managed to wheedle a copy of Cusco away from a CV, which I'm planning to take home with me.
► 00:18:41
And I'm taking home a brand new computer, which my son gave me.
► 00:18:45
And I can play it on that as soon as I figure out, you know, the mechanics of it.
► 00:18:49
So there you are.
► 00:18:50
So she's enjoying, I guess, the music, some of the bumper music.
► 00:18:54
What kind of music do you like otherwise?
► 00:18:56
I like a lot of different kinds.
► 00:19:00
Like musical shows and some classical music, kind of the potpourri, you know.
► 00:19:05
You like musicals?
► 00:19:06
North Broadway music.
► 00:19:08
Sure.
► 00:19:08
I hate them.
► 00:19:10
All right.
► 00:19:11
And when I was a teenager, he asked about the ladies.
► 00:19:15
He was always very popular with the girls.
► 00:19:19
I won't say that he always, that when he was younger, he didn't pay any attention to them.
► 00:19:24
But about the time he became Boy Scout, I think it was about the time he, maybe it was the uniform.
► 00:19:31
She was Kathy Jarrett, actually.
► 00:19:33
Well, Kathy was in Maryland.
► 00:19:35
That's right.
► 00:19:36
That's the first real serious heart throb that I can recall.
► 00:19:40
And I think one of these days, or one of these nights, rather, she's apt to get out someday.
► 00:19:46
You know, I wonder how it would be to see Kathy after all those years.
► 00:19:49
Maybe not good.
► 00:19:50
Maybe she should live on in my memory as she was at 12 or so.
► 00:19:54
That could be.
► 00:19:56
Wildcard Line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:19:58
Hello.
► 00:19:59
Morning, Miss Bell.
► 00:20:00
How are you?
► 00:20:01
Morning.
► 00:20:01
I'm fine, thank you.
► 00:20:03
Good morning, sir.
► 00:20:06
I don't know if I had any particular question for you, but what I did have was just a thought that I was thinking about, you know, all this stuff, and you're talking about the quickening a lot and everything like that.
► 00:20:18
Yes.
► 00:20:19
And just like the kids that went off and shot them people and stuff like that.
► 00:20:25
Up in Washington.
► 00:20:26
Right.
► 00:20:27
Yes.
► 00:20:28
I was just thinking about that, and I was talking.
► 00:20:30
Uncle Rockfall.
► 00:20:31
When I call in, I talk about financial situations sometimes.
► 00:20:34
Yes.
► 00:20:35
And talking about, you know, finances collapsing and stuff like that.
► 00:20:40
And I was talking to a lady about that.
► 00:20:43
And she lived through the Depression.
► 00:20:46
And she said the only difference between now and then would be if everybody killed one another.
► 00:20:51
Back then, they helped one another out.
► 00:20:53
All right, well, it's a good point, actually.
► 00:20:57
During the Depression, people sacrificed.
► 00:21:00
People made it.
► 00:21:01
It was a lot harder than it is today for people, and yet people today are walking around shooting each other.
► 00:21:06
You have any thoughts on that?
► 00:21:08
Well, I think we're living in a very strange time.
► 00:21:12
Well, we are.
► 00:21:14
Every newscast, every time you pick up a newspaper, something horrible has happened.
► 00:21:22
And I don't know, it's the quickening, I guess.
► 00:21:27
What are your politics?
► 00:21:29
Well, you describe me.
► 00:21:31
I think I feel the same way as you do right down the line.
► 00:21:35
We always have felt pretty much the same way.
► 00:21:39
Not a big Clinton fan?
► 00:21:40
No.
► 00:21:41
No.
► 00:21:42
And if you were able to see her on TV when she said that, there was an expression that went with it.
► 00:21:47
No.
► 00:21:47
West of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:21:51
Hello?
► 00:21:53
Goodbye.
► 00:21:53
Wildcard Line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:21:56
Hi.
► 00:21:57
Yeah, Art.
► 00:21:59
No offense.
► 00:22:00
This is your mother?
► 00:22:01
No, absolutely is.
► 00:22:03
Yes, this is Charlie the Terrible.
► 00:22:05
Hi, Charlie.
► 00:22:06
Yeah, well, your son's a moron, but here's the thing I don't, here's the thing I don't understand.
► 00:22:13
What kind of an egomaniac knuckle-dragger would bring his mother on a radio talk show?
► 00:22:22
I mean, but anyway, let me ask you a question here.
► 00:22:26
I honestly believe that children who grow up and get conservative views really that their parents have been rather mean to them, and that's their psychological way of taking it out on the rest of society, and that's why they're conservative.
► 00:22:44
In other words, meanness translates.
► 00:22:49
When did he first start showing signs of being conservative?
► 00:22:54
That's a good question, actually, from a moron.
► 00:22:57
I really think he could answer that better.
► 00:23:00
You know, I haven't seen as much of him since he's been grown up as I would like to.
► 00:23:05
This is actually a reunion of what?
► 00:23:07
About 10 or 12 years, something like that.
► 00:23:10
And I'm going to meet my grandson tomorrow for the first, I haven't seen him since he was just probably about four years old.
► 00:23:18
So, there you are.
► 00:23:19
When did I begin to show signs of being conservative?
► 00:23:22
Well, most of my adult life, really.
► 00:23:25
Always been that way.
► 00:23:28
Are you the Charlie from the book?
► 00:23:30
No, he's gone.
► 00:23:31
Yeah, he is the Charlie from the book, right?
► 00:23:32
I'm checking my knuckles now, and there's no blood there, so they can't have been dragging too much.
► 00:23:37
West of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:23:39
Hello.
► 00:23:39
Yes.
► 00:23:40
Well, hello, Mama.
► 00:23:42
Hello.
► 00:23:42
I think you are the bell of the Southwest tonight, aren't you?
► 00:23:46
Thank you.
► 00:23:47
Well, that's a very nice way to describe me.
► 00:23:49
All I know is I'm having a wonderful time.
► 00:23:52
And you are a survivor in the first degree.
► 00:23:55
We know that because you raised Art.
► 00:23:59
Okay.
► 00:24:01
That is.
► 00:24:02
And we love him to pieces.
► 00:24:03
And I think he's just marvelous.
► 00:24:06
And between you and God, you did good, honey.
► 00:24:11
Thank you so much.
► 00:24:13
We love you.
► 00:24:14
Bye-bye.
► 00:24:14
Take care.
► 00:24:16
My mom was a Marine.
► 00:24:18
A Marine.
► 00:24:18
One of the first Marine drill instructors.
► 00:24:22
Now, let's ask a little bit about that, because people are going to be curious about that.
► 00:24:26
You really were one of the first, weren't you?
► 00:24:31
What in the world possessed you?
► 00:24:34
I mean, I remember my time at Lackland Air Force Base, right?
► 00:24:37
And I remember my drill instructor, meanest SOB that I ever ran across in my life.
► 00:24:42
Were you mean like that?
► 00:24:44
You know, to the ladies that you were training?
► 00:24:46
No, not really.
► 00:24:49
I think the reason I became a drill instructor was because I had a lot because I taught dancing when I was younger, and I loved the cadence of it.
Sweetheart Speaking: Platoon Gals
00:01:41
► 00:24:59
Marching?
► 00:25:00
Marching, right.
► 00:25:02
And I brought one platoon after another through their boot camp.
► 00:25:06
And I really, I look back on those years as very pleasant.
► 00:25:10
There was one gal who sent me a fax last night.
► 00:25:15
And she took her training at Hunter College in New York, too, where I did.
► 00:25:20
And she went to Cherry Point, and I went to New River, North Carolina, Camp Pushoon.
► 00:25:27
My birthplace.
► 00:25:28
Yes, where Trey was born.
► 00:25:31
And those years were very interesting, I thought, very happy years.
► 00:25:37
But still, you had to be, in basic training, there are certain things that are done that kind of test the person.
► 00:25:45
So you couldn't have been a pure sweetheart.
► 00:25:49
Well, I'm speaking for myself what the platoon, the gals in the platoon were.
► 00:25:55
Ah, perspective, huh?
► 00:25:57
Yeah, perspective, that's right.
► 00:25:58
In other words, my drill sergeant may remember us all fondly, too, but believe me, many of us remember him as about the meanest man walk the face of the earth.
► 00:26:06
And he shouldn't turn his back, right?
► 00:26:07
Oh, Mark.
► 00:26:10
First time call our line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:26:12
Hello.
► 00:26:14
Hell, Ma Bell.
► 00:26:14
How are you doing?
► 00:26:15
Fine, fine.
► 00:26:17
Listen, I cut with my, my mom felt the same last name as you.
Time Calling Bob
00:05:21
► 00:26:22
And I was just curious, with all the traveling that Art does, I'm surprised that you guys haven't connected, you know, haven't seen each other in such a long time.
► 00:26:35
Do you have an explanation for that?
► 00:26:37
Well, he lived a gypsy life for a long time.
► 00:26:41
He was going from one radio job to another, climbing the ladder to where he is right now.
► 00:26:48
And I always lived on the East Coast in a climate that he detests.
► 00:26:53
So our pants just didn't tell us I was busy, and he was busy.
► 00:26:58
It is true.
► 00:26:59
She's right.
► 00:27:00
I led a very gypsy-like existence.
► 00:27:02
It is the nature of those who are in radio.
► 00:27:04
And she's right.
► 00:27:05
I detest the Northeast.
► 00:27:08
As a matter of fact, since she's been out here, you know, went up to 60 today, and the sun was shining.
► 00:27:13
And I said, you know, why don't I sell that place back there and move out here?
► 00:27:17
And she's still clinging to Long Island, where the snow's probably piling up to about hip deep by now.
► 00:27:24
And where the real estate market is so limp that I couldn't sell my house if I wanted to.
► 00:27:29
She says, all right.
► 00:27:30
Well, west of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:27:33
Hi.
► 00:27:34
Hi, Arch.
► 00:27:34
This is Mark the Seattle Astronomer.
► 00:27:37
I called you a couple nights ago.
► 00:27:38
I brought you a thought, so I hope you get it.
► 00:27:40
I've been having a hard time getting information to you.
► 00:27:42
All right, Mark.
► 00:27:43
But I'd like to say that your mother is a pure delight.
► 00:27:46
And I wanted to know if she had thought about getting her own radio program.
► 00:27:50
Oh, of course.
► 00:27:52
No, I'll let Trey take care of that.
► 00:27:54
But do you know something?
► 00:27:55
This is the most exciting night with this vidium, is it?
► 00:28:00
Lavidian, yes.
► 00:28:01
I've turned off the screen because it's simply too distracting.
► 00:28:05
Television.
► 00:28:06
But maybe not for you, because you're doing this anyway.
► 00:28:09
But for me, I find it really distracting, and I'm not going to be able to have the screen on when I do this.
► 00:28:14
I can see that now.
► 00:28:15
Well, you'll get used to that after a while.
► 00:28:18
You told me that it wouldn't be any problem for me to be on.
► 00:28:21
I told you I was very stage-struck.
► 00:28:25
But you'll feel the same way after that.
► 00:28:28
This is remarkable technology.
► 00:28:30
Oh, fast.
► 00:28:31
You're going to have to remember not to pick my nose or scratch.
► 00:28:36
First time calling a line, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:28:38
Hi.
► 00:28:39
Hi, how are you doing there, Art?
► 00:28:40
All right.
► 00:28:41
I think I'd ever get through to you.
► 00:28:42
This is Bob with Tacoma.
► 00:28:44
Hi, Bob.
► 00:28:44
Hell, how are you doing?
► 00:28:45
Hi, I'd like to.
► 00:28:46
I got a couple questions for Ma Bell there.
► 00:28:49
All right.
► 00:28:49
How many times, Marbell, did you tell you ever had to whack art on his old perump when you got out of hand there?
► 00:28:59
Well, he got too big for me after a while.
► 00:29:03
I mean, or too, and he was fast on his feet.
► 00:29:07
He has run his shoes on, right?
► 00:29:09
Right, right.
► 00:29:11
There were a few times, sir, to answer questions.
► 00:29:14
Do you think it looks like perhaps the coming of the Lord draw out night, Marbell?
► 00:29:19
But I'm sorry, I didn't.
► 00:29:21
Do you think it's coming of the Lord's drawing near with all this thing, these things going on?
► 00:29:26
I don't, I don't.
► 00:29:27
Good question.
► 00:29:28
In other words, and I can't answer it.
► 00:29:30
We all feel that something is happening.
► 00:29:32
I agree, and I don't know what it is.
► 00:29:34
It could be what you say.
► 00:29:36
Coming of the Lord.
► 00:29:37
Who knows?
► 00:29:38
Coming of just a change?
► 00:29:40
Coming of something.
► 00:29:41
Yes, something big and scary, frightening.
► 00:29:45
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
► 00:29:47
You're like that big creature, what's his name, Sasquatch?
► 00:29:50
Yeah, Sasquatch.
► 00:29:51
You've heard my Sasquatch, right?
► 00:29:54
You can't shake your head on radio, do you?
► 00:29:56
Oh, you make the sound that he makes?
► 00:29:58
No, I don't make the sound.
► 00:30:00
I have Sasquatch on tape.
► 00:30:02
Oh, the real Sasquatch?
► 00:30:03
Yeah.
► 00:30:04
For him and Lady.
► 00:30:05
Haven't you ever heard that?
► 00:30:06
No.
► 00:30:09
I don't know whether I have or not.
► 00:30:11
No, my reception at home is not for Brotes.
► 00:30:14
Really?
► 00:30:15
I don't know.
► 00:30:15
Let me see now.
► 00:30:18
Oh, no, this is not the one.
► 00:30:19
This is one of them.
► 00:30:25
Oh, that's one.
► 00:30:26
But that's not really the one I want you to hear.
► 00:30:28
I'll do the other one here in a minute.
► 00:30:30
West of the Rockies, you're on the air with Ma Bell.
► 00:30:32
Hi.
► 00:30:32
Miss Ma, what do you think you're staying up all night?
► 00:30:36
Well, since he's been on the air all night, I've been staying up.
► 00:30:43
As a matter of fact, coming out here, you've assumed my schedule.
► 00:30:46
Yeah, Jack, I have.
► 00:30:47
It's a strange way of living, but very interesting.
► 00:30:51
I like the night hours.
► 00:30:53
First time calling a line, you're on the air with Marbell.
► 00:30:56
Oh, right.
► 00:30:56
You know, this is the first time I've ever tried.
► 00:30:58
This is Ken from Minneapolis, CSGP, 1,500.
► 00:31:02
Where it's very, very cold.
► 00:31:04
Oh, yeah.
► 00:31:07
Definitely.
► 00:31:08
This is the coldest I've ever remember in like 32 years.
► 00:31:12
But anyway, the main question I had to ask was, no matter how many women you ever have, who's your number one gal in your life?
► 00:31:22
What is he, Mom?
► 00:31:24
That's not a fair message.
► 00:31:25
Now, that is not a fair question.
► 00:31:27
His wife, I haven't even spoken about his wife, Mona, but and I met her for the first time when I came out here.
Power Behind the Throne
00:00:16
► 00:31:34
She is his partner.
► 00:31:36
She's the power behind the throne.
► 00:31:38
She keeps things going smoothly for him.
► 00:31:41
She sure does.
► 00:31:41
She's a wonderful cook.
► 00:31:43
I mean, really.