No one knew he was a drug addict. No one knew. And he spiraled out as they were filming and he let them film him. Let them film him shooting up. Let them film him like bringing this giant bag of pills with him and all this shit everywhere and just completely falling apart. While they were supposed to be capturing this hero movie of the greatest fighter in the world, he's falling apart like live in front of the documentary.

And I don't think anybody had any idea until the Smashing Machine documentary came out. And when that documentary came out, everybody was like, holy shit. First of all, kudos to you for allowing people to see you like that. Raw, completely honest about all of the addiction problems, all everything. And no one would have expected it. When they saw you, they just saw this fucking dominant destroyer, this guy who was like smashing everybody. And you just thought, oh, well, that guy is just, he's just a machine and just so mentally strong. He just gets out there and gets it done. And then you allowed them to show you where in the making of the documentary, it was what they were essentially trying to capture was you at your prime. Yeah. And what they caught you was you where your life was falling apart just fortuitously.

You know, part of it was, you know, I wanted to change the narrative of like when you looked at the early UFCs, it looked like some guys were just scraped off a barstool and thrown into the octagon, right? And so when I came there, I was like, okay, I want to be considered professional, right? I want to carry myself as a professional. I'm going to be articulate. I'm going to dress as a professional. Because I wanted to up the ante. I wanted to like raise the standard, right? And especially when I went to Japan, it's like, you know, press conference, everybody's in sweatsuits. I'm in a, you know, I couldn't afford it, but I was in a $1,000 Calvin Klein suit that I had to put on a charge card, right? But I wanted to change the narrative. I wanted to be, I wanted to be a professional. Because if I was a professional and treated like a professional, I could ask for pay like a professional. Not like some dude that was just scraped off a barstool and thrown into a ring.

So that last scene against Fujita isn't as 100% hypoglycemic crash laying there. Can't move my body. And if you watch a documentary, what I'm saying on the way back is, I need sugar. I need sugar. I need sugar. That's all I could think about. It was like, I need sugar. I need sugar. I need sugar. Because my blood sugar levels had just crashed to this. Like, I can't fucking move.

I knew, I knew when I first drank, first had a drink that I drank until I was drunk. Like, cause that was this taste of Jack Daniels. And it was like, oh, this feels good. It was like not a normal reaction. Looking back on it going, oh, so I've always had a propensity towards it.

It's like why I was addicted to Dawn. Because of that exchange of negative energy, right? Yeah. Back and forth. It's like being an addict. Right. I'm addicted to the drama.

And so my sobriety date is September 4th. And so my son asked me that day, September 3rd, he's like, dad, I know you need to drink today because your mom died, but would you stop tomorrow? And at the time, I thought it was just another empty promise of like, yeah, yeah, I'll stop. I'll stop. And next day I got up and there's just something a little different or whatever it was that day. And I stopped asking the questions why because it's irrelevant, right? And from that day till today, I'm sober.