Alex is having fun here and making things up, but I regret to inform you that Jared's father, Charles Kushner, pled guilty to, quote, 16 counts of assisting in the filing of false tax returns, one count of retaliating against a cooperating witness, and one count of making false statements to the Federal Election Commission. While he was running his business, Kushner Companies, Charles had falsified charitable contributions in the excess of $1 million to cheat on taxes. His sister was a witness to the crime, and he didn't want her to testify. So he attempted to hire a sex worker to seduce her husband, which he would record and use as blackmail. He pled guilty to all of this and even, quote, told the court that he had paid a private investigator $25,000 to arrange for the seduction and videotaping of the cooperating witness's husband. Kushner admitted to personally recruiting the prostitute and instructing that the videotape be mailed to the cooperating witness.