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Aug. 1, 2023 - Where There's Woke - Thomas Smith

01:11:35

WTW6: The Woke Are Coming For Your Pizza Ovens!

Oh god this one was so much fun. Join me, Lydia, and my brother Sam Smith as we debunk and roast a delightfully stupid but pathologically dishonest Fox News segment! Wait... that could describe literally all of them. But THIS one was about New York Pizza Ovens! Please pretty please consider becoming a patron at patreon.com/wherethereswoke!

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	What's so scary about the woke mob?
	How often you just don't see them coming.
	Anywhere you see diversity, equity, and inclusion, you see Marxism and you see woke principles being pushed.
	Wokeness is a virus more dangerous than any pandemic hands down.
	The woke monster is here and it's coming for everything.
	Instead of go-go boots, the seductress green M&M will now wear sneakers.
	Hello and welcome to Where There's Woke.
	This is episode six.
	And if you are a patron at patreon.com slash where there's woke, you already know that we're going to do a few one-offs to, you know, recharge the batteries after that monumental research task.
	But we've got a lot of irons in the fire research-wise as well, and I'm sure we won't be able to resist getting back to deep research.
	But holy shit, this is so much fun, because not only am I joined by the beautiful, wonderful, amazing Olivia Smith, I've also got my brother Sam here from past podcasts such as Comedy Shoeshine, which doesn't really exist anymore, but it's never fully dead.
	It's only mostly dead.
	We are going to dissect a very serious issue, which is the woke are coming for your pizza ovens.
	Let's get to our illustrious panel.
	First up, here to answer all our policy questions is my brother, Sam.
	How are you doing, Sam?
	Great.
	Thanks for having me.
	I hope you boned up on all your pizza policy.
	Yeah, I ate all the pizza last night.
	I don't know if that helps.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it couldn't hurt.
	And of course, my amazing wife, Lydia Smith.
	How are you doing?
	Pretty good.
	I actually did eat pizza last night because I said it was research for this.
	So we're all... Well, you have to.
	They're going to get rid of all of it.
	I'm sorry.
	It's going to be gone.
	Spoiler alert.
	We ate our last pizza.
	Last night I had a little ritual because guess what everyone?
	The woke are coming for your pizza ovens.
	That's the latest thing.
	One of the things I can do for this show is just type in the woke are taking your or whatever and then like let Google finish it.
	Yeah.
	The woke are coming for And then it's a million things, but Lydia found this video and this was one of those things where Lydia's like, oh, like what?
	What about this?
	And I watch it for two seconds.
	I'm like, this is the best fucking thing in the world.
	That's it.
	You found it.
	So we're going to break down this very critical, scary issue of the woke taking our pizza ovens.
	Sam from previous podcasts called comedy shoeshine that it's never really dead, but it's on hiatus for now.
	Fun to get you on this one so that we can at least, you know, we haven't talked since the last recording.
	We only talk.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	How are you guys?
	Yeah.
	We got like three kids.
	God.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	We can do a little catch up.
	What's going on in your life?
	So I'm going to hit play on this video, this very reasonable video, and we'll, we'll see where it goes.
	We have the most violent raging crime rate ever.
	We are being invaded by illegal immigrants who are being treated way better than our homeless veterans.
	I better read the thing.
	It says, Coal Oven Rule Outrages Pie-Throwing Protester.
	And the best thing about this is like, this isn't a YouTube link of like, oh, look at these idiots on Fox News.
	This is Fox News's own link, you know, like their own channel rather.
	And it says like, NY pizza owners EXPLODE, in all caps, over new climate crackdown.
	It's like, do they know?
	Are they in on it?
	I don't know.
	Anyway, let's hear what this very reasonable man has to say.
	The guy never exploded.
	I wanted to see him explode.
	Yeah, well, maybe at the end.
	We'll see.
	Our city schools produce the dumbest kids.
	And the woke a** punks who run New York City are afraid of pizza?
	This is the New York Pizza Party!
	Give us pizza or give us death!
	Give us pizza or give us death!
	It's not delivery, it's a protest.
	A conservative artist tosses pizza at New York City Town Hall in response to a coal fire.
	Did he say artist?
	Yeah, I have stuff for you guys on that.
	Yeah, this guy's allegedly an artist and I know nothing about that.
	He certainly is.
	So his name is Scott Labado.
	He's an activist and artist.
	And let me go ahead and share with you guys his website.
	His resume and headshot?
	No, it's even better.
	So this guy is known for his flags.
	Wait a minute.
	This is awesome.
	If you keep scrolling down, so this is his website, all of his original art.
	He is known for painting flags in a variety of ways.
	Different styles, abstract.
	Forces joined is one of these where it's the Canadian flag and the United States flag together.
	I don't know if he did that because of the fire.
	I'm not sure.
	Hockey player?
	I don't know.
	Yeah.
	Isn't that a freaking deer robust in one of them?
	Yeah, American buck for $4,500 you could purchase.
	It's like that old, I don't know if that's an old comedy bit where you take the picture off the wall and then you hit the guy in the head with it, you know?
	It's like a deer.
	The deer's like, hey, you got any deer food?
	Deer burst in while he was making one of them.
	He's like, oh, shit, bonk!
	And then he's like, it's all right, actually, let's keep it.
	And the deer's like, yeah, OK, no, I'll stay.
	Stay right there.
	OK, cool, me.
	Don't move.
	And then besides flags, his other favorite thing to draw... Maybe you're trying to save his image, but you haven't told us about the pricing.
	I think you really should have added it in.
	Oh, yeah, that's true.
	Yeah, everything's, you know, like $5,000, $4,500, $3,000.
	The most important thing to me about that is not, yeah, they're all way too much, $5,000, whatever.
	To me, I love the differences in pricing.
	Yeah.
	I love how he's judging like, okay, this one is like $4,500 worth of art.
	This one over here, that's $6,000.
	That's a solid, that one's called UT 504, whatever that is.
	That's just $1,500 better of art.
	That's how good that is.
	I wonder if anyone's ever bought a single one of these is what I want to know.
	No.
	There's a $24,000 one.
	Oh wait, $24,000.
	I missed that.
	Yeah, $10,000.
	It also could be based on the sizing and the framing too.
	I was going to say, that one has a frame.
	So that's, I mean, it's practically free.
	That's like $18,000.
	We can't afford not to buy it.
	All right, I'm doing it.
	All right, so then besides flags, he also loves to paint Donald Trump.
	No way.
	Oh yeah, so he is the artist behind POTUS 45, where it's Donald Trump, you know, totally jacked.
	So this is not like the main one that painted like the football player Trump and all that?
	This is a different guy?
	No, yeah, this is a guy who, I mean, Trump loves him because... You don't say.
	Yeah, I mean, he gives his paintings to, like, there's a picture of Eric Trump holding one of them.
	I think Trump signed.
	The closest Eric Trump has gotten to Donald Trump.
	Yeah.
	And then he had, like, a big installation he did for a neighbor on Staten Island that was, like, pro-Trump, and someone set it on fire.
	That was kind of a big news story.
	You don't need to do that, though.
	You know?
	Like, we can call out our side.
	You don't need to burn these.
	Don't bother.
	These are so dumb that I think it's better if they exist, actually.
	But it is interesting that it's, like, all these prints.
	I guess because they're not paintings.
	They're $40.
	Oh, is there a price wars between?
	Yeah.
	Who's the Walmart of homoerotic Trump paintings and who's the, you know, niche, like, expensive kind?
	Yeah, it looks like John McNaughton.
	That's 705 bucks for that football painting.
	Yeah, that's a way better value.
	I have those added to my cart, but I don't think I'm going to click buy.
	Don't hit checkout.
	If anyone sees a good, like, online coupon for you.
	Because these flag ones from this asshole are just, I mean, alright.
	It's red, white, and blue and different fucking combinations.
	The other one is truly just his vision of the distortion of how he sees Trump is like genuine art.
	Like, I don't know how he does it.
	It's amazing.
	I actually thought it would be worse.
	Like, these aren't, like, awful bad.
	I mean, they're not $4,000.
	I love when the perfect, like, boomery thing is that his site says, please contact patrioticartist at gmail.com.
	He has a domain.
	It's just like Scott at.
	Yeah.
	Like how I have Thomas at Siriuspod.com or where there's web.com.
	And he says, like, contact geocities.hotmail.
	It doesn't really matter, but it's always funny to me that they don't just do the easy thing that looks professional.
	Like, I have my own website, and this is my email for the website that came with the website.
	And the website's not, like, honestly that bad.
	There's way more boomer websites there.
	I guess by this time he's probably like Gen fucking X, huh?
	He's not that old.
	He said he's been an activist for 30 years, so he's at least 30.
	Yeah.
	That's good math.
	What's also interesting about him, you know, activist, so some of the other things far less funny than this pizza excursion that he went on.
	He protested Drag Story Hour at the Staten Island Children's Museum.
	They did it anyway because they didn't care.
	And then he's also behind, like, one of the most viral Target pride rampages.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah.
	Maybe we need to actually watch that.
	Sure.
	That's the funniest.
	I almost would do an episode on that.
	It's so fucking ridiculous, though.
	All right.
	So, yeah, Lydia is really getting us into the bios of these folks to really know what we're dealing with, which I appreciate.
	Here, let's hear this pride rant.
	Memorial Day weekend.
	Where is the display?
	Is he also throwing pizza at the team?
	That's his whole thing is he's been throwing pizza this whole time.
	He's like fucking finally it makes sense in this particular one.
	Supporting and showing homage to a men and women at a military.
	There's nothing.
	There's a couple of little made in China patriotic pieces of shit here.
	Last week was cop week.
	Did we put a display up supporting our police?
	No, we didn't.
	What would they sell?
	Like batons?
	They're not selling police gear.
	They hand out free guns to children.
	Other than that, they haven't done much.
	You're right.
	Yeah, this is just a guy yelling in a target.
	I love that that's what's become of conservatism.
	Just so people know, they're not watching.
	There's not an employee near him.
	Like he's not...
	There's not the manager, like, he's just in the middle of a Target yelling at Target.
	Like, does he think the building itself is, like, sentient and if he yells in it, then it'll register his complaints?
	It's his soliloquy.
	It's just a stage for social media.
	Oh, the Target's a stage and we are mere... In November, do we get a veterans display that says, proud to be a veteran?
	No, we do not.
	Is there anything I can help you with?
	Yeah.
	Well, they're not selling veteran clothing for kids.
	No one would buy it.
	I hope that culprit is watching this because this is bullshit.
	No problem with the pride section.
	Take the kids out of it.
	That's what you have to do.
	Get rid of the kids shit that doesn't belong in here.
	You cater to 0.1% and 99% of us buy this shit in this store, but that's coming to an end.
	Corporate better change their fucking ways. - Yes.
	You're gonna go down like Budweiser!
	Smooth and crispy.
	I'm leaving a bad Yelp review!
	Yeah, I don't know.
	This customer is never- Yeah, God, it's so good.
	I hope this is- I actually really hope these people are just brilliant comedians doing a fake thing.
	I always root for that.
	Like, I want- You know, I don't know when he'll do his reveal, but at some point he'll just be like, You guys actually bought fucking the same painting of a flag for $6,000.
	That's how dumb you fucking idiots are.
	I've made a killing on you!
	But they never do, unfortunately.
	The tweet caption is, share the fuck out of this, and he can't put a C for some reason.
	Yeah, it's F-U-K.
	Get the fuk to target, and speak up.
	Or, the last, I like how he leaves the last option of or, shut the fuck up.
	Okay, I'm gonna, I will choose the shut the fuck up part.
	Choice.
	You have no right to complain about this unless you share my video where I rant.
	That's what I wonder, is like, is there a bunch of, there's so many conservatives who are like, they're complaining but they're not getting in there and yelling at a target security guard who makes minimum wage, and that's the real change that he wants to see in the world?
	Yeah.
	So he has all of this activism, in quotes, right, that he participates in.
	And there's also a documentary being made about him.
	Wow.
	By his mom?
	No, by a conservative filmmaker called Chris Martini.
	All right, write that down.
	We're going to fucking get every one of those videos.
	I have the trailer.
	It's not out yet.
	I've been looking for it.
	But he says, you know, sign up here.
	And when it comes out, you'll be the first to know.
	And I've been tempted to do it.
	Can't quite stomach it.
	Get on the list server or whatever?
	Yeah, I don't want to get his newsletters.
	Add Scott Baio, add Gmail, Hotmail, GeoCities to your whitelist and then you'll get... Check your spam folders.
	Yeah.
	Write that guy down for other stuff.
	Oh, Chris Martini, yeah.
	The best thing about being early in this show is within one episode we have 400 things to follow up on because it's just a network of... It's complete grifters, but they're the least talented grifters, which is the best.
	- 11 month old girl shot in the face because of woke criminal love and district attorneys.
	- Come on, murder her.
	This is a street performance.
	- Seems like all the artist activists are on the left.
	- Ah, except Scott Babado.
	- I do not conform to the elitist isms of the art clubs and they have left me like it.
	- I also don't know how to do art in any way, but I figure, oh man, that is awesome.
	I got paint and a brush, so...
	And I know the flag.
	A lot of his protests for that one involved putting red paint on the pavement like it's blood.
	And I like to think he just stopped it.
	He's like, all right, I'll get some red paint, and some blue paint, and some white paint.
	And that's it.
	That's his whole... I would picture his studio as just gallons of literally three colors.
	He's not going to buy any of the gay colors of paint, but he's going to buy the red, white, and blue.
	Yeah, so I'm looking forward to that documentary.
	Yeah, for sure.
	Oh, I'll be first in line at the theater.
	Yep, yep.
	I'll be first to buy tickets at the theater that it's going to definitely be in.
	Yeah, so this is the guy behind the pizza protest.
	Well, what I love about this is I had zero thoughts on this guy, really, except that I liked him because it's only the first 30 seconds of the video we're talking about.
	So we've already got so much just on this pizza throwing guy.
	And we haven't even gotten to the main character of our story today.
	Oh, I know.
	I have to say that I thought, I didn't do any research on the guy, I just thought he was a pizza kitchen owner.
	Me too!
	Yeah.
	Well, the way that they framed the headline is that, you know, pizza owners explode over it and what you see is someone throwing pizza.
	You're going to assume that's a pizza owner, but it's just some guy.
	Well, I'm going to assume it's a Ninja Turtle, but yeah, or a pizza owner.
	The lies are he's not a pizza owner and he didn't explode.
	Yeah.
	It's all lies.
	All lies.
	And we're here to track down these lies.
	Like, write them down.
	Hun, write down two lies.
	Didn't explode.
	Not a pizza owner or a Ninja Turtle.
	Those are the only people who should be throwing slices of pizza.
	Well, just one, Michelangelo.
	Oh, there's only one of them?
	Wow, this is big news.
	Are you telling me only one of them throws pizza?
	I remember Michelangelo throwing pizza, but I don't remember the other guy.
	Hun, put that on the whiteboard for research.
	If you could find one clip of Raphael Donatello, Leonardo throwing pizza, yeah, I'll eat my pizza.
	I'll eat my shell.
	Please find it.
	I just love the, like, give me pizza or give me death, but he's throwing the pizza away.
	I'm getting mixed messages from that.
	So death.
	I'll give you pizza!
	Oh shit, I should have figured out how this metaphor works.
	Yeah, and I will say, you know, doing a little more research on this guy, he did get a summons from the police for this.
	He basically was like, that's fine because I love the police, you know.
	I just want to go cuddle him, you know, just, hey guys.
	All right, now that we know who we're dealing with, now that we have the backstory, like it's an episode of Lost, you know, and we saw his...
	We found out how he got on Idiot Island, and so now let's hear him again.
	Let's hear this performance.
	Most violent raging crime rate ever.
	We are being invaded by illegal immigrants who are being treated way better than our homeless veterans.
	Yeah, and that's important because if I know conservatives, they're really into providing benefits to the homeless.
	They're like, we definitely want all our money together.
	I think what they're saying is though, is that as soon as we get rid of every single immigrant, as soon as we expel all immigrants from the land, Then we'll have like a few nickels left over to help a homeless veteran, like one of them.
	Well, yeah, and then they only care about veterans that are homeless and nobody else that's experiencing, you know, a houselessness or whatever.
	Yeah.
	If they're not veterans.
	Yeah, his whole rant, if I were a pizza shop owner, I would be like, dude, just do talk about the pizza.
	It's really confusing, like, it's just a bunch of his gripes.
	It's like, the Yankees aren't playing well, the Mets aren't playing well, and like, none of the new Star Wars movies have been good.
	Like, it's just a bunch of random complaints.
	I don't think Princess Leia would have survived in space for that long.
	It's just Peter from, or, you know.
	Peter from Family Guy?
	It sounds exactly like Peter.
	He should be, let me tell him how to do this.
	He has the pizza, and he goes on a rant about how this was cooked in, like, a disgusting, wood-fired, delicious oven.
	And, like, every bite he's going, you know, making all these noises.
	And then he has, like, another pizza that's not that, and then he throws that.
	The other pizza should just be raw dough with the toppings on it.
	It's just like, this is what it'll be!
	It wasn't even cooked!
	We put this in the newfangled woke ovens for four hours!
	And this is what it looks like.
	And it's just dough.
	We could do that.
	Why don't we just make a billion dollars on these people?
	Like, seriously, every day, I think, why don't we just pretend to be Trumpers and make a million dollars instantly?
	It'd be so easy.
	I've thought that for seven, eight years, whenever this started, it's like, oh, and that's what a lot of them are doing.
	Like a bunch of these, not this guy, maybe, I don't know, who knows, but like a bunch of them really are that.
	They're just like, Oh my god, I could make a billion dollars on these fucking idiots.
	All you have to do is kiss Trump's ass in some way and they'll be like, I wanna buy all your stuff.
	Is that why there's a lot of red, white, and blue paint in the garage?
	Something you need to tell me?
	No, I'm painting the French flat.
	They all have those colors.
	You told me you were making a Harlem Globetrotters court.
	Yeah, I am.
	No, I am doing that.
	That's what it is, actually.
	But don't worry, that's what it is.
	We're going to do all the tricks.
	I've been doing the spinny finger thing and the octopus dribble.
	Is that for nothing?
	No, I just hadn't told... I had to tell... Look, I'm in the midst of a web of lies.
	I couldn't tell Lydia about the Globetrotters court, but so I told her that I'm doing... Our city schools produce the dumbest kids.
	I love that!
	I talked to my kid the other day and he was so fucking stupid, he didn't even understand what I was telling him.
	And the woke a** punks who run New York City And he says New York shitty, by the way, of course.
	And I love that the subtitles don't say that.
	They're like, I must just be city.
	I'm afraid of pizza.
	This is the New York pizza party.
	Give us pizza or give us death.
	Give us pizza!
	Wait, this is the New York pizza party?
	Like he's having a pizza party?
	I think it's supposed to be like the Boston Tea Party, right?
	Oh, I see.
	Oh, okay.
	Wow, hon.
	You really decoded that.
	I understand how they think now.
	It's really frightening.
	Okay, this guy's a creative genius.
	Nevermind.
	So it's like when they spilled the tea in the harbor, they weren't saying, this tea sucks.
	They were just, we're like, how dare you?
	I mean, it doesn't really work though, does it?
	There's like a bit, that was a lot of tea.
	Like, I think that was like a major, that was like a, back then that was like a year's worth of tea for the whole world, I think.
	Yeah, this is one pie.
	This is like seven pieces.
	He actually doesn't even throw all the pieces because he's like, I'm going to save these two for my lunch because I'm out here and it's been a while, but I'm throwing all the other pieces.
	Very gentle too, the way he tosses the pizza over.
	I would have done it more like mad.
	That's a very good point.
	Yeah.
	So that's what I was gonna say.
	Do you, what is the proper throwing technique or like what, you know what I mean?
	What is the context of throwing a pizza?
	You have to splat it, don't you?
	Like down on the ground.
	But I mean, it has to go over that fence.
	Well, nah, I would splat it.
	Whenever you're gonna throw, this isn't, hun, buckle up, we're gonna talk sports for about an hour here.
	Whenever you're gonna throw anything, like any object, like a non-normal object, there's a calculation that goes on in your mind of, what is this thing like?
	You know?
	Yeah, the weight of it.
	Exactly, the weight of it, the shape of it.
	And so like, if you have, oh, this is more like a football, and I'm talking just random objects, you know, like a fucking, a cup or something, you know, you just weigh in, if it's bigger, you're probably throwing it like a basketball more, maybe doing a chess pass.
	If it's a, but this is, So pizza, in my mind, I would go to frisbee.
	Like you said, Sam, I'd be like, all right, clearly you want to get some spin on it.
	You know, that that'll help it carry.
	Yeah.
	Cause the point is you could do all kinds of things with your arm, but if you're not holding it right, it doesn't go anywhere.
	Like you could do this, the biggest throw.
	And then the cup goes like an inch.
	Yeah, exactly.
	This guy doesn't want to look like an idiot here.
	Okay.
	We're doing a real, yeah.
	So I think he missed a real opportunity by not frisbeeing it.
	And I wonder, would the toppings then separate?
	You know, like if you're frisbeeing one piece and that maybe you want that, it's like shrapnel, you know, like I would do.
	Yeah, I would do.
	Cause my thought is the pizza slice is flat on your hand.
	That's how you really get a lot of the airy to throw it hard.
	Okay.
	So you do almost like a basketball, you run up and dunk it over the fence.
	Okay.
	Straight down.
	I like that.
	Because then you get the soft splattering, you know?
	Right.
	When you're just coasting it, you're throwing it like a frisbee, it just gently lands.
	That's true.
	It flies through the air, it gently lands.
	It's not protesting enough.
	Yeah, if I were throwing it like a frisbee, I'm trying to lead the receiver and actually pick a mark.
	You know, I'm trying to get it somewhere.
	Like if you're trying to get in the mail slot of City Hall or something, maybe?
	Yeah, that would be good.
	That would be awesome.
	Then we'd buy that $45,000 painting.
	The other option is get the guy to not slice it for you and throw the whole pizza like a frisbee.
	That's awesome.
	Or like in the box and the box opens up and it's all over the place.
	Oh man.
	So that's my biggest complaint about this guy actually is that what he's doing is lobbing it like over.
	It doesn't make any fucking sense.
	You idiot.
	Here you go.
	It's not delivery.
	It's a protest.
	A conservative artist tosses pizza at New York city town hall in response to a coal fired oven crackdown that could cost owners $20,000.
	The insane rules drafted by the department I mean, yeah, as far as the debunking goes, uh, all lies.
	So it's not about carbon emissions.
	That's not what this is for.
	They just say wrong.
	Oh, look, okay.
	I know I'm, I'm the first to say this, but they just say incorrect information to everybody.
	Does anybody know this about Fox News?
	They just say, Obviously incorrect things like it's facts like I know we all know that that's what they do But I feel like we don't do a good job of keeping in mind that that's literally your fucking parents and grandparents Are hooked into this bullshit like it's an IV and they just all day They just say wrong things and then their mind is soup They think they can't there you try to talk to them and you can't even communicate anymore.
	They speak a different language Yeah, I know we had that with our dad or whatever.
	It's like Oh, you're not in the world anymore.
	Okay.
	Nevermind.
	Yeah.
	I can't talk to you.
	They can only handle so many topics.
	So there has to be like global warming.
	It has to touch like gay stuff, global warming, religion.
	There's like four things.
	Yeah.
	So everything that comes up with the pizza has to, well, we can't, it's global warming.
	Yeah.
	Here's what I think.
	Here's what I think, because this is actually contemporary.
	This is a two day old thing.
	This is recent.
	We're, we're doing breaking pizza news.
	Yeah.
	And so I think That because, and I don't know if this is intentional or not, it might be, because these fucking villainous mustache twirling assholes know that all of the East Coast has been dying of breathing in smoke from the Canadian wildfires, that if they said, oh, it's about the air quality, everyone would be like, oh, that's a very reasonable thing to do.
	Are you saying?
	Yeah, I currently can't breathe outside, so that makes sense.
	So you're saying.
	So they're going to.
	They want to make the air 1% better for free?
	Say that again, I can't see you.
	I'm trying to make out your face.
	I can't, can you bring the TV closer?
	I can't, the smoke in the living room is so bad.
	So they're like, well, we can't say that it, so yeah, to spoiler the debunk, it's about obviously the fucking particulate stuff in the pizza ovens is like killing, you know, Kramer.
	It's like the chicken episode of Seinfeld or whatever.
	It's obviously about that.
	And so they, they change it to just be, Carbon emissions, which is obviously not, that would be such a minor thing.
	That's the main point of everything I'm doing on this show is you have to already have your brain be so fucking ruined by this stuff to think that anyone would be this dumb.
	Like they all think, oh yeah, these idiots, they're gonna try to get rid of carbon emissions by slightly changing a hundred ovens in New York.
	And it's like, no, I know that's already not what it is.
	Cause I know they're not fucking idiots.
	Like I know the people who are trying to do this Whatever this policy is, it's probably based on a bunch of scientists doing a report.
	And then, by the way, that's also probably watered down and ruined by this exact thing, like people complaining.
	And so, it'll end up being a terrible nothing.
	Like, I'm not saying every policy is good.
	It gets ruined by exactly this pizza-throwing fucking idiot every time.
	Like, whatever it is, it'll start out as like... Yeah, it has to be compromised down to actually not doing anything.
	Yeah.
	Which it already is.
	Yeah.
	But the original thing is obviously going to be a good idea, most of the time, based on a scientific thing.
	And they've gotten it in their heads that everyone on the left is... I wonder what they think a person on the left is.
	Well, what they really think, I read, like, if you read the comments... Oh my god.
	The YouTube video comments, it's unbelievable, but it's always the dismantling of America.
	Like, they think that liberals are really smart and they know that, like, if we go for the pizza, that is, like, Kill the pizza ovens and the head will die.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Go for the core.
	Everybody in New York City has pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
	Guys, we've been, they slap like a big document on the table.
	We've been going about this all wrong.
	Here's, and they have like, it's like a map of the city with all the pizza ovens.
	They're like, we've been, oh my God, we're idiots.
	Okay.
	Here's how we do it.
	We just start here, circle it.
	You know, you have to do circle the red thing and then like hit the table where it is.
	You know, that's where we go.
	Yeah.
	Everything leads to pizza.
	Our whole culture in New York city is pizza.
	Everyone's eating pizza all day, every single day.
	So if you take those away, it erodes their foundation.
	And then people who are otherwise going to be American people, like whatever that means to them, like conservative, gun-loving, military, if they don't have their pizza, then anything can go.
	Everything slides away and then you're gay.
	There's no rules anymore.
	Sam, I think you're onto something because even more breaking news than this, I saw that there is a pizza alliance that is forming.
	Led by literally two lawyers.
	Lawyers are getting involved in this and they're, yeah, they're creating a pizza alliance to fight against these regulations.
	They can't take a loss at all.
	Like there's no ground that can be given at all because we've taken so much away from them.
	That's the thing is like their lives, if they, this New Yorker guy or any New Yorker looks at today, like 20 years ago, do you know how different and terrible their life is from then?
	We've taken everything from them.
	They have nothing.
	They're not even the shadow of the New Yorker they were 20 years ago because of all this.
	Either that or they're exactly the same.
	Everything's exactly the same.
	Conservative Party of New York State released a statement in response to this, like a press release.
	And part of the quote is, clearly the state will be going after campfires, fireplaces, and eventually matches.
	I was going to make the joke.
	They're not going to let you light a candle, but it can't even be a joke because that's what they think.
	Oh yeah, no, and it gets very poetic.
	If New Yorkers don't stand up and say no now, the future here may be very dark.
	Yeah.
	And soggy and not charred.
	Yeah.
	So that's already, we've already gotten to the crux of the matter.
	So I think we might as well just debunk it now and then we can enjoy the rest of the fucking absurdity that is this Fox and Friends segment.
	So this is bullshit.
	Okay, done.
	All done.
	That's the end of debunking.
	Yeah.
	It's all fucking made up.
	We don't even have to tell you.
	Well, Sam, I did want to like, after what you just said, I mean, what you just said is a hundred percent correct.
	And it's unbelievable the degree they've taken it to.
	Like it used to be like, okay, if you give an inch, Then, you know, they're going to take everything.
	That used to be the philosophy of conservatives with any gun regulation and already that's, you know, obviously insane and it's killing our children and crap that they won't give an inch on any gun regulation.
	It's gotten now where like a liberal will like cough and they'll be like, okay, you see that is an attack on us.
	So we need to stop it.
	Like they've, they've gone so far that it's not just things that were incremental changes.
	It's now things that aren't even related to anything that they decide.
	Not connected to anything.
	Yeah, and they'll just decide this is actually an attack on the soul of America, and then they'll make an entire thing about it.
	How do you even deal with it?
	I don't even know what to do anymore.
	That's why Trump won.
	We can't even deal with it.
	It's unbeatable.
	It's impossible.
	Anyone who's a sane person, what we do need to do is completely fucking ignore these people.
	Yeah, but I mean people who matter, Sam.
	People in government or people in the media, they need to just be like, well, you're a bunch of fucking idiots.
	I'm not going to air your story and be like, well, it seems as though people are.
	That's what really does it.
	It's not Fox News.
	It's the people in the middle or whatever in the media who air it and are like, you know, there's lots of controversy over that.
	No, you should look at this as someone saying there's Well, I was going to say UFOs, but there's actually too much of a story on that now.
	You should look at this as someone saying that, you know, there's Bigfoot or whatever.
	If you're the New York Times or you're whatever, like NBC, some fucking TV thing, you should see this and be like, well, this is like someone claiming there's Bigfoot.
	So I'm just not going to even talk about it because it's not, it's not related to the world in any conceivable way.
	It's not connected to anything.
	But that's really hard nowadays because, you know, with Twitter and everything, Elon Musk was tweeting about this.
	I saw that.
	Everyone is seeing this Marsha Blackburn, Republican senator from Tennessee, not even involved in New York at all, is tweeting about this, saying New York City wants to ban wood-fired pizzerias in the name of their climate agenda.
	The left wants to destroy small businesses.
	So it becomes this, like, unstoppable force.
	They're amazing at it.
	They're so good at all getting in a line.
	It's actually incredible to watch.
	It's better than any fucking team sport.
	It's better, like the coordination of all of these assholes being, they instantly, they instantly all grasp perfectly.
	Okay, this is the line we're doing.
	It's like, they're like the best, the world's best improv troupe.
	They're all like, forget about who's line is it anyway.
	Colin Mockery and Ryan, whatever, Secret, no, Ryan Stiles.
	Forget about them.
	These guys, they're so good.
	They're like, oh, this is the live, we're all pretending that liberals want to actually kill, murder Pizza Place owners and like, get rid, okay.
	And they all instantly, they're in character.
	They do the like, okay, they do the quick thing and, all right, and scene and they go and they all do it perfectly.
	It's amazing.
	Yeah, but also it's so easy.
	Like if you're whiteboarding this and you're like, The pizza thing.
	Where does it connect?
	Does it connect to guns, abortion, gay stuff, or whatever?
	You just pick one of the things, and then they go, pizza is climate change, and that's it, done.
	And then they put that signal out there, and every Fox News person there goes, I hate the climate change stuff, so I believe all this.
	Right, right.
	And I know they would do anything.
	It's so easy.
	Amazing, yeah.
	Not even hard.
	I mean, they all come up with the same story, too.
	That's the other thing you'll find if you read, like, Elon Musk tweets and whatever you're talking about.
	They all say the same exact thing.
	No one has, like, an interesting nuance where a person like me would read it and go, oh, well, yeah, that's sort of a point.
	You know, it's all just exactly the same.
	That's not a point.
	Like, that's nothing.
	You're wrong about all of it.
	Every time.
	It's crazy.
	So Hun, do you want to tell us what the real policy is?
	Sure.
	Yeah.
	So it's not even a policy.
	They're proposed regulations.
	It's an email that someone sent.
	It's nothing.
	Yeah.
	So essentially what's going on here is this was something that was proposed kind of back in 2016.
	So they changed any new ovens that were installed had to be compliant with this.
	But they had a grace period for any ovens that were older than 2016.
	So the 2016 models of like all pizza ovens, residential ovens, everything accounts for this particulate issue that they're trying to address.
	Anything older than that, they said, OK, we need to figure out how we're going to reduce that particulate air quality, you know, impact for those ovens.
	And so they wanted compliance by 2020.
	Obviously, COVID happened.
	And so it was delayed by COVID.
	and now they're looking at, "Okay, we have our regulations drafted.
	It's the public hearing period now.
	Oh, comment period, yeah.
	Yeah, exactly.
	If anyone wants to throw pizza at us, now's your time.
	I checked how the public comment's been going.
	There's one comment so far.
	Wow, this seems fine.
	So they're not even engaging in the process.
	There's probably one guy.
	Yeah, that's the thing.
	The people who actually participate in the system in any way I guess not all the time, because sometimes the conservatives are sophisticated enough to do that, but like, there is a notice and comment period for these things, and you could make an argument, and that's how it should work, like there's, you know, obviously people in government make mistakes all the time, and there could be something where they try to regulate something, and it's actually like, oh, that'll be bad for this reason, it'll be whatever, but what it really is, is just people with money trying to protect, not, This is the thing.
	If it was about a millionaire being like, I'm going to lose my entire fortune if you do this.
	It's, it's, oh no, I'm going to lose 0.00000001% of anything.
	And so I'm going to pretend that I'm dying.
	Like that's what's so fucking insulting about it.
	And these people watching who most often are not at all wealthy and just are like probably poor in a lot of these like red states, you know, Fox News fans.
	They're always over there.
	Now they're defending millionaires from the scourge of having to modify a pizza oven for like no money so that whoever lives above it doesn't fucking their children don't die of asthma like all the time.
	It's unbelievable.
	Well, and it's even better than that because when I was reading through the regulations and some of the pieces I could find, you know, actually picking it apart bit by bit to say what's actually going on here.
	It's not even forcing the pizzerias to do that.
	It's saying, we would like someone to come out and assess if this is possible with what you have.
	And if not, if we can't do this method that reduces it by 75%, we have another method that reduces it to 25.
	Is that possible?
	If not, you can apply for a waiver.
	There are other options here.
	And then even the mayor has said, you know, like, let's let the public weigh in.
	We can have a conversation if we're going to move forward or not.
	Nothing is set in stone.
	Nothing has been, you know, created as policy.
	There's no, you know, fines or anything like that.
	Not for nothing.
	Fuck that.
	The problem is politically, we just can't compete because it's the same thing that happened in that election where the governor, remember that governor election?
	I think it was Virginia.
	He said something that didn't work.
	He was like, oh, parents shouldn't be the deciders of what their kids are learning or whatever.
	And then people know what I'm talking about.
	And then he lost, but he also sucked for a million different reasons.
	But it's unfortunate because that is what needs to happen.
	I don't know how to make that happen, but here's what should happen.
	In 20-fucking-whenever they decided this, 16 or whatever you said, they should have been like, oh, here's what's happening.
	These pizza ovens are giving children childhood asthma.
	Because air quality is a major thing.
	Obviously, I assume most people know this, but one of the crazy things about COVID was when we all shut down in that first few months period, We actually like saved possibly more lives from the pollution to the air quality that wasn't happening than we're dying of COVID.
	It's crazy.
	And people were like, does this mean we should be doing this all the time?
	Like, should we just stop doing anything because the air quality changes are so important that it actually saves a ton of lives, especially not so much maybe in this country, but especially in like, I don't know, India and other places where it's like air quality is particularly bad.
	It's a major thing.
	And so what should happen is in 20 whenever, 16 if that's what it is, when they say, oh, hey, there's these, um, easily fixable problems with these pizza ovens.
	Hey, everybody fix this right now.
	100 fucking percent.
	Do it now.
	It's everybody do it right in order to have a pizzeria in the city.
	You have to fix this tomorrow.
	That's what it should be.
	Well, I think also COVID shed a light on how important indoor air quality is too, right?
	You know, that the virus transmission inside without like proper ventilation and all of those things and how people were getting sick even if they weren't super close to another person in this like bigger space just because of how the air circulated throughout it.
	There's so much Indoor air quality that we should be able to address too.
	The people who are manning those pizza ovens and how close they are to inhaling all of this stuff themselves and the potential, you know, impact to their lung health.
	It's just it seems like a no-brainer to me, but I'm liberal.
	The exercise I wanted to do is how conservatives would want government to work.
	So if you took a hundred conservatives in a room and there was some EPA, you know, like a hearing for the EPA, we want your opinion.
	Here's what we found, that it's not just the people living around the pizzeria, but the workers who are standing in front of the freaking oven all the time and inside of the restaurant all the time, breathing this air.
	We found, these scientists found particles, and you guys are familiar with like wildfire smoke, like I'm talking to the conservatives right now.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know, like when you go outside and it's all smoky, you cough and like it burns, right?
	And they're like, yeah, I noticed that.
	So it's real.
	Like, you know, that's all real.
	Yeah.
	So we found that these pizza ovens in the city are as bad as that or whatever, some scale of how bad they are.
	You got people working on them all day, making pizzas, breathing this in.
	We've found that there's modifications that can be made to these ovens.
	What we're thinking is like, we're not, like you said, we're not even going to demand that everyone puts whatever, $50,000, $20,000.
	We're just going to see, we just want to see.
	Are these ovens fixable?
	That's all we're saying.
	Can we just survey all of them?
	Can we look at your oven?
	We just are worried about the workers and the people around.
	It's not about global warming.
	It's not any of that.
	It's just directly people living in New York City, your neighbors, your friends.
	You might live above one of these fucking things.
	Right now.
	And so all we've been faced with is we know this is bad for people's health.
	We want to see how can we fix that and make people healthier?
	That's it.
	What do you conservative 100 conservatives in this room?
	What should we do?
	Can we go and just see and see what modifications can be made?
	How much it can cost?
	Of course, if a pizzeria is like, we're barely making ends meet here, like we don't have the money to do this.
	They don't have to do it right now, but maybe there are some that have a bunch of money and care about their employees and would want their employees to be healthy and can afford to do it.
	Can we just see?
	How would that go?
	Yeah.
	Every fucking person would be like, yeah, that's reasonable.
	Yeah.
	Obviously.
	No, Sam, you'd hear a shotgun go, you can have my pizza oven.
	When you pry it from my cold dead, yeah.
	Actually, two of the people in the room would be like, so you're canceling all pizza in New York?
	And they'd be like, what?
	How did you get that from what I just said?
	We're saying, okay, you could do this one thing if you can afford it.
	If not, this other 20% reduction if you can afford it.
	If you can't afford it, or if it doesn't work on the oven you have, you don't have to do anything.
	That's in the regulations, right?
	Yep.
	Which is, by the way, bad!
	That shouldn't be in the fucking regulation!
	My point is, is what you said too, is that- We're bent over backwards and up our own assholes over it.
	To the point where it's almost ineffective.
	Like it's almost not worth doing.
	It is.
	It's fucking nothing.
	We should stop doing that.
	And they still say that- We're coming for their pizza ovens.
	Yeah, that pizza will be canceled in New York City is still the response to a policy that started with an idea that was good and wanted to be Yeah.
	you know, make things safe for people that ended up almost absolutely not even anything.
	And it's still canceling pizza in New York City.
	Like it can't get any more ridiculous.
	It can't get any more impossible.
	No, it is.
	It's a perfect.
	You can't do anything.
	The key to this is I love that hypothetical, that thought experiment, but that never is real.
	Like there's no, there is no time where conservatives or I know, you know this, but I'm just making There's no time where conservatives are ever doing that because they don't participate in anything to make the world better in any way.
	All they do is sit around and wait for some idiot to tell them a fake thing, and then they get all mad and ruin our lives.
	That's the point.
	I wish they were involved in the process at any point.
	Point in a reasonable way.
	Maybe they used to be more, but like, they just don't.
	They just come in as an angry mob.
	Like you said, two of them go like, so you're saying you're cancelling pizza?
	And then the other 98 are like, YEAH!
	And then they all just kill the guy who was talking to them?
	Yeah, everyone's dead.
	That's all they do.
	Yeah.
	It's, it's, fuck, it's so shabby.
	Shoot him like 700,000 times.
	They all get out there and go, pew, pew, pew!
	And they do that old cowboy thing where they shoot in the ceiling after, yeah.
	The other obvious thing about conservatives is they're all about America, the history of America, the Constitution, all this stuff.
	And it's like, they also have no idea that there have been hundreds of years of terrible conditions for workers that have been fixed by all this stuff.
	That their own family members probably worked in a meatpacking factory and had their arms chopped off.
	They used to actually have children in the ovens working.
	They would hand the pizza to a child that lived in the oven.
	I love how they live like everything's always been perfect and you guys are just ruining the things that have been perfect.
	Like when we landed here on the bay flower and stuff, it was perfect.
	Pizza ovens were pristine.
	No government has ever helped anybody like in America.
	The government has never just fixed a zillion terrible things that have It's always been bad.
	You've always been ruining it.
	And this pizza is just the last.
	It's one step too far.
	Everything's one step too far all the time.
	And it's really exactly the same as the other things.
	It is.
	And it's funny because the last step too far all the time happens four times a day, too.
	Yeah, all the time.
	On the hour, all day.
	They have a new thing each day.
	It's amazing.
	They don't keep track.
	None of them ever ask, like, wait, Wasn't I told in 2007 that the world was ending because of something?
	Did that ever happen?
	None of them, they never do that.
	Wasn't I told that Obamacare was going to like kill my grandma or something?
	Right, death panels.
	Yeah, did that?
	Yeah.
	Is my grandma alive?
	Did they do that?
	They never do that.
	Like, I wish they would follow up.
	Maybe that's what we can do on the show a little bit.
	Look at those old things and say, hey, is your grandma dead?
	Well, okay, but not of old age.
	COVID, yeah.
	Yeah.
	So that's the overall point.
	Obviously, this is for particulate stuff.
	It's not for fucking carbon emissions.
	That's stupid.
	And it's obviously a huge benefit, and it's super not even expensive to do.
	And if it's too expensive, they won't.
	So it's watered down, as we've said, to the point where it shouldn't even exist.
	They shouldn't water it down this much.
	But that'll give some context to this delightful segment you're about to hear the rest of.
	Last guest has already invested $20,000 on an air filter system in the anticipation of a mandate.
	Pauly G, the owner of Pauly G's in Greenpoint joins us now.
	Pauly, your response to the city cracking down on you guys?
	Well, I think it's ridiculous.
	I think it's like killing a fly with a sledgehammer, first of all.
	They say that a hundred places would have to do this.
	Yeah.
	The mayor compared the smoke that comes out of these hundred ovens to the fires that were in Canada.
	He said that.
	Yeah.
	which is ridiculous.
	And you know, I put mine- - Wood. - Yeah.
	Or it's some, do they still have the coal ones or is it all wood?
	'Cause that was the problem.
	The old ones were coal, literally coal.
	Oh, actually I read that, but then it was, okay.
	They switched to wood because the coal ones actually took up too much room.
	Like, apparently you need a bunch of airflow.
	So, like, just the businesses themselves back in, like, the fucking 50s or something, they switched from coal to wood mainly because of that reason, not for any other reason.
	I went in, first of all, because I was told that we had to have it by January 2020.
	I just found out through all of this that I didn't have to do it right away.
	I put mine in because it was bothering my neighbors.
	Exactly.
	Yeah!
	Yeah!
	You're a fucking idiot.
	It's so fucking funny.
	I can't believe he's on the TV saying this.
	He's just like... I know.
	The Fox host should be like, start over, start over.
	He just does the cut.
	I can't believe they still go live on Fox for that very reason.
	You just said the thing, that's the whole thing!
	Reset.
	We did it again.
	We could have completely undermined our entire fucking political agenda by saying, redo it, re-roll, take the tape back.
	And he's had it for three and a half years.
	Yeah.
	He voluntarily did the thing that was bothering his neighbors.
	Yeah.
	And the law doesn't even say that you have to do the thing.
	It's fucking impossible.
	Impossible.
	$20,000?
	$20,000.
	All right, when I heard that, Hun, what is the first thing I said when you showed me this video?
	The very first thing I said was, go to the website that tells you how much COVID money everybody got and see what this guy got.
	Yeah.
	And what did you find, Hun?
	All right.
	So he got $162,517 forgiven in March 2021.
	- $162,517 forgiven in March, 2021. - Wow.
	So I guess that covers the fucking filter.
	Oh, there's more.
	Jesus Christ.
	Where did that money come from, by the way?
	That was conservative activist artists that gave their money from their paintings, right?
	That's the smaller amount.
	It didn't come from the government, right?
	Yeah.
	That's the smaller amount.
	You ready for the other amount?
	Eight days later, he got approved for another loan after that one was forgiven for $256,690.
	for $256,690, and that one was forgiven in January 2022. - Forgiven, yeah. - 430 something just by listening, something like that?
	Almost half a million dollars of free money from the taxpayers to this guy.
	And he's gonna get on the TV and complain about the $20,000.
	I doubt that's even right.
	Who knows?
	It could have been fucking $700 for all we know.
	He hasn't shown us a receipt.
	But he's going to complain about the filter that he voluntarily put on because he's probably had this pizza oven for 50 years and he's killed just like family after family up there.
	And then one guy was like, Hey, one guy came down to the pizzeria and he was covered in black, you know, like when they come from the coal mines, like, or like when you get, when you go to the tailpipe trick, you know, you look in the tailpipe and it blows out.
	One guy came looking like that.
	He's like, Hey, all the time.
	Yeah.
	He's like, Poly G, um, do you want to not murder my entire family?
	And he's like, uh, all right.
	And I guess, cause this guy, heart of gold, I don't know why he wouldn't throw with it, but he decided to do it for $20,000.
	And then he collects again, 430 something thousand dollars of free government fucking money.
	And then has the gall to get on TV and complain about this.
	Unbelievable!
	God, I can't even take it.
	I didn't even think of that, the COVID thing.
	First thing I fucking thought of.
	It's the best.
	That website, I saw someone tweet the other day that they're like, that website is the greatest social media innovation.
	Someone built that website.
	I don't even know what it is.
	Hun, is that through the government or did somebody just build it?
	No, I think it's through the government.
	Yeah, I don't know if it is, because I think the government has the data.
	Oh no, ProPublica.
	Yeah, ProPublica.
	So somebody took all the data and made an interface, and they're like, that's the most successful online fucking thing ever.
	Because everybody goes there, looks at the information, interacts with it, shares it 400 times a day.
	Every single time, it's correct.
	There's never a time where Paulie G, this fucking guy, gets on TV and complains about taxes or complains about anything, and then you go and look him up and it's like, oh, he actually didn't get any COVID money.
	Oh, okay.
	It's 100% batting average.
	It's never not correct.
	Every time.
	It's the best.
	And by the way, maybe he needed that money.
	Maybe that saved his... I'm not complaining about that.
	Like that probably saved a bunch of businesses.
	It's good that we did that because we have massive resources in this country to, you know, help out when people might need it.
	So maybe that's good.
	So maybe though, if you're going to take that money and save your business with it, probably, and more likely what he did was fucking fudge all the paperwork and just pocketed all the money.
	I'm sure he had like one employee that maybe, okay, I'll...
	I'll pay that guy, and then that'll be justification for all the... Who knows?
	Yeah, they kept one of their locations open.
	He's like, I need money to keep this air pollution going.
	They're like, okay, that's a legitimate reason.
	Who will kill family after family above me if I don't have this money to save my family killing business?
	That's fine.
	I'm not mad for him having gotten money that maybe it saved his business for all I know.
	I don't know.
	It's the part where you then complain about taxes and the government and all that after it saved your fucking ass or just gave you $430,000 of free money, one or the other.
	Yeah.
	Well, of course, they'll say like, well, they shouldn't have shut down everything and I would have been able to operate my business perfectly.
	So I should get that money because they, you know, shut down everything.
	No one died and COVID's fake and I could have been fine.
	That's their excuse for that.
	But you want to know the first thing I thought of when he started talking?
	Oh, what's that?
	I want some pizza.
	First off, I ordered some pizza.
	After I had my pizza, I came back from watching it.
	Then I was like, you know, I'm not full.
	And so I went back and I grabbed another one.
	The third thing I did.
	I got a calzone.
	When I heard $20,000, I was like, that's not a lot of money at all for a business like that.
	It's nothing.
	You spend $20,000 on bullshit all the time in a business like that.
	It's literally not any amount of money.
	And then the other thing was, whoever he paid $20,000 to do that, he got ripped off.
	It was like a $5,000 job.
	There's no way.
	And it doesn't work, and it's wrong.
	By the fact that he just did it, and he's like, because I thought the regulation, Dude, you don't even read.
	What a terrible businessman.
	There's only two things.
	Either $20,000 is nothing to this person, which is, that's what it is.
	It's not an amount of money that even matters at all.
	Or it's a lot of money and it's a hardship for him and he didn't research it at all to see that he didn't have to do it.
	Someone just told him, hey, I think you need to spend $20 on this thing.
	He's like, fuck, all right.
	Yeah.
	One or the other.
	There's only those two options, right?
	You're right.
	It has to be one of those two things.
	Yeah, no, there is no other option.
	So what is the... You're either a moron or a whiner who has the money and it's fine and you should have done it 20 years ago.
	Were we able to look up his net worth or anything, hun, or no?
	No, I can kind of poke around and see if I can...
	Yeah, I'm sure he owns a fucking, you know, a billion of these.
	He has several locations.
	Yes.
	And the workers make nothing and they die all the time with no health care and minimum wage.
	And he has to pay $20,000 on one of them or something that he didn't even have to do and doesn't matter to him in any way.
	Oh, yeah.
	So he has locations not just in New York.
	Yeah.
	Columbus, Ohio, Baltimore, Chicago, New Orleans.
	Yeah.
	But New York pizza is the best.
	So the ones in New York are the only ones that make pizza that's edible.
	The other ones are all...
	By the way, we haven't mentioned that this, I don't know the science of what the thing does to change the particle emissions, but I'm pretty confident saying it doesn't change the way the pizza is cooked or the taste at all.
	Oh yeah, Sam, it's funny that you say that because this guy, I don't think they put this other idiot on the TV, but there is one There's one guy in the original New York Post article, which the New York Post is just a fucking tabloid that makes... They are the origin of a lot of this stuff.
	They just make stuff up and then it's a conservative whatever.
	There was a different pizza guy who was so fucking stupid that even Pauly G was like, nah, that guy's kind of bullshit.
	I pulled up the original New York Post article just for fun.
	What's funny is they do say the reasonable thing and they can do that because they know their readers won't see it or something.
	So they have the quote from the guy from like the department of the, you know, the environmental protection thing of New York.
	He's like, all New Yorkers deserve to breathe healthy air and wood and coal-fired stoves are among the largest contributors of harmful pollutants in neighborhoods with poor air quality.
	DEP spokesman Ted Timbers.
	Oh, Ted Timbers.
	What a great name for this.
	He should be working in the forest, whatever.
	Oh yeah, Ted Timbers.
	This common sense rule, was he dressed as Smokey the Bear?
	Did Dave Dolman have anything to say about this?
	This common sense rule developed with restaurant and environmental justice groups requires a professional review of whether installing emission controls is feasible.
	They actually put that in their propaganda.
	It doesn't matter because they know that their fucking brain dead readers won't even see that part.
	And then this one also quotes Polly G, but I'll go to the other guy.
	It's so funny.
	One pizza restaurateur who requested anonymity told the Post that That sensitive negotiations are currently taking place.
	So that's how it starts and then later it says some other stuff but it says this quote and it's from the same anonymous person.
	This is an unfunded mandate and it's going to cost a fortune.
	Not to mention ruining the taste of pizza.
	Totally destroying the product.
	The restaurateur who has a coal-fired oven fumed.
	If you fuck around, and they censor that, with the temperature in the oven, you change the taste.
	That pipe, that chimney, it's that size to create the perfect updraft.
	Keeps the temp perfect.
	It's an art as much as a science.
	You take away the char, the thing that makes the pizza taste great, and you kill it, he claimed.
	And for what?
	You really think that you're changing the environment with these eight or nine pizza ovens?
	That's so good.
	Oh my God.
	And then they quote Pauly G like right below that.
	And he says, if someone is trying to say that putting the scrubber in changes the flavor of the pizza, they're just trying to save themselves $20,000.
	No, it doesn't affect what's going on inside the oven, he said.
	It hasn't changed the taste.
	It doesn't change the pizza.
	It hasn't changed the product at all.
	Obviously.
	Hot take.
	He also says there's nothing special about New York water.
	I found another quote there, too.
	We don't even have to talk about the goddamn pizza.
	We could talk for an hour about how New York pizza is not any better.
	And no food in any place is any better than if that same person traveled to California and put up the same thing and used the same techniques, it would just be the same food.
	There's no reason that it would be better.
	People try to say it's the water or something like that.
	Oh yeah, the water is really, you can taste the difference in the water of the dough.
	That's like a minor ingredient in the pizza.
	Shut up.
	So stupid.
	Yeah.
	Well, and Pauly G, you know, I can't find exact, you know, dollars regarding net worth, but I think he's doing fine.
	You know, he's like licensed his, his name and his brand.
	He has a franchise.
	And he was an IT professional in corporate America for 30 years before he started his pizza business.
	And he's in the media all the time.
	He like delivers keynote addresses for random things.
	I found an article where he got hit in the head by a Yankee foul ball from Aaron Judge.
	Like that got picked up in the media, like a concussion, trying to get the ball autographed.
	He's fine.
	He's fine.
	Well, he might have some brain damage, but other than that, he's fine.
	You know, what actually happened is they got him on Fox and Friends.
	They're like, yeah, so you're not doing you're not going to do this pizza thing.
	He's like, oh, I already did it because it was not any amount of money for me.
	And like.
	And it bothered my neighbors.
	Oh, no.
	OK, OK.
	Let's think about this.
	Just, okay, it's fine.
	Just say that you were confused because the regulations are really confusing and like you're just trying to comply.
	And so you just made this huge investment and it was just confusing.
	The government's bull, it's a confusing mess.
	Okay.
	That'll be fine.
	Yeah.
	He's like, well, the way it should work is the free market dictates that one of your neighbors should like lose as few family members.
	And then when they ask you personally to please stop doing that, maybe you do it.
	That's how the free, the invisible hand of the free market works.
	That's how it does it.
	Yeah.
	It gets even better.
	Because the dynamic you're describing, Sam, actually does happen in the video.
	- I'm not doing that.
	And but it does-- - No, I just want to go ahead.
	Because the dynamic you're describing, Sam, actually does happen in the video.
	This guy, Brian Kilmeade, I think is his name, he does that exact thing where he scrambles in real time to try to like keep the controversy up It's so good.
	Yeah, he's like, Pauly, you're not playing ball here.
	Turn the cameras off.
	I need to talk to Pauly.
	But you can hear him do that calculation of, how do I get this to be a thing we should be mad about again?
	$20,000?
	$20,000.
	Every pizzeria I walk into that's successful, you guys are so busy.
	Right.
	What does that mean?
	You're making a shitload of money?
	He's like, yes, the people I pay minimum wage to are very busy, I agree.
	Yeah, it's, you know, but fortunately it happened before.
	that you put in and to say someone just have to go write a $20,000 check must be maddening.
	Yeah, it's, you know, but fortunately it happened before.
	Yeah, it's time.
	I mean, he's a conservative.
	Pauly G is a conservative and he's having it in his own mind.
	He's having trouble figuring out how this fits in this concert because he's like, yeah, And then his brain is like, well, no, that was really cheap for me, and I made a billion dollars on pizza.
	And he just stops.
	By the way, I cashed $430,000 in government money.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So I did, yeah, I profited.
	He's so confused.
	It's happening in real time, like on this thing.
	He's like, yeah, but no.
	So Sam, you're right.
	Here's how he figures it out, ready?
	Here's how he solves this conundrum.
	A check must be maddening.
	Yeah, it's, you know, but fortunately it happened before the pandemic.
	If I had to do it now, that would be really rough.
	But all these people do.
	Because Eric blew all that $4,000 and $3,000.
	This is an unsubsidized mandate, again!
	Absolutely.
	Now, you know, they want to improve emissions, you know, they're willing to take taxpayer money to do that.
	They do it with the New York City ferries.
	You pay $4 to get on a ferry, but it costs $10 per person.
	So we're subsidized.
	So they looked at John Kerry, you know, our climate czar.
	He hops on private jets.
	You would have to cook pizzas for 849 years to reach his carbon footprint that he puts by flying private around the world.
	Does that bother you?
	Wood and coal in your small, uh, in your small ovens, and they're cracking down on you, not him?
	Well, what bothers me again is like killing a fly with a sledgehammer.
	Okay, let me ask this.
	Paulie's mind is the real battleground here.
	I think you're right, Sam.
	Yeah.
	In his mind, he's like, wait, so did my neighbor ask me to cut my carbon emissions, and that's what was bothering him?
	Or did my neighbor ask me to cut the fucking particulate matter, the smoke?
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, would you, would that make sense?
	Hey, your carbon emissions are bothering my fit.
	No, he knows that it's not what it was.
	Yeah, I ran your carbon footprint and I'm a little concerned.
	Yeah.
	So has he calculated all the different locations Apology has?
	And then is it just like, if you cooked one pizza for 800 years, it would start to, I don't know what it is.
	I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that.
	No.
	The fly with a sledgehammer thing.
	Every time I laugh at that.
	Every single time.
	It's so dumb.
	That's not what it is at all.
	It's fixing a sledgehammer with a fly.
	Yeah, it's fixing a sledgehammer.
	It's starting out by being like, let's fix this sledgehammer with like some tools.
	And then you yell about it enough to where it's like, well, can we, let's just talk about the sledgehammer.
	Yeah.
	That's all.
	That's all it is.
	City bikes are a great example.
	They just put 35 bikes across from my restaurant.
	What does this have to do with anything?
	Does it run on wood?
	Smoke?
	What does it do?
	It wipes out parking.
	Sure.
	He's brainstorming.
	- The restaurant is like fun. - From further away from mass transportation to come to my restaurant.
	I have a number of people that come from Long Island, and Jersey, and the more difficult they make it to park, the better, and that's great that those bikes are available.
	They had another rack right around the corner that half of the bikes are always still there.
	But yet they put these 35 in because it's like a mantra.
	And now you've got congestion pricing for people who want to go across the city, and now they're cracking down on you guys.
	They said they're going to have an open forum to discuss ways out of this.
	Maybe if they decide they want to do it, they've got to find some way to get you the money.
	It's unbelievable how hard you guys work, how much you've been through the pandemic, what you had to suck up, and how you had to suffer with all the inspections, too, these guys coming in.
	So Paulie G, thanks so much.
	Appreciate the real life story and appreciate what you do.
	Thanks very much for having me.
	Best pizza in America, right here in New York.
	No, not best, only favorites.
	Oh, favorites.
	Okay, thank you very much.
	The guy's actually just a liberal.
	He's like, the Pauly G's is a total liberal, like just pretending to be.
	Probably.
	Well, and he's complaining about like the ferry, you know, and the subsidies that are happening there, which are true.
	It is being subsidized, but that's because they were trying to get the ferry services open to a large number of people and reduce their commute, you know, that they would take an hour, hour and a half to have to go all the way around and, you know, tighten that up.
	Imagine having to take a fucking ferry to work.
	Jesus Christ.
	Yeah, and so they subsidized it to keep the costs low, but they partnered with a private company to just kind of get it up and off the ground right away.
	And so it's high.
	They are revising it.
	That's part of this plan, too, where they're going to tier the prices even more.
	The subsidy is going to come down.
	They're figuring out how they can fix that.
	But that's what's going to enable more people to come to this restaurant, too, is if you fix this transportation issue, that can be really cost prohibitive for a lot of people.
	Yeah.
	How much, how many parking spaces do you think 16 bikes takes?
	Two?
	They have subways and stuff.
	If you could get on a subway from wherever, all the way Long Island or whatever.
	I don't know how anyone, I've never been there.
	Cut that.
	You get off the subway and then you ride a bike to the shop and you don't have to park.
	You don't have to walk a billion miles.
	Like what the fuck are you talking about, dude?
	Yeah.
	It's unreal.
	Two cars a day that can park there.
	Is the difference between your business being successful or not?
	You've got big problems.
	Yeah.
	All the traffic in New York is actually just people like trying to go to this pizza place.
	Yeah.
	Like I can't, there's no.
	And then they added a couple of bikes and it's like weird.
	That's it.
	I'm not even going to try to park there now.
	It's a bunch of guys that are just, they're still like idling, right?
	They're like, when are they going to take these bikes?
	I need a part.
	It's been a month.
	I don't know what, how to park.
	God, it's so funny.
	That must be a conservative hot button.
	Bikes, like bicycles.
	They hate them.
	They just bring that up and they're like, oh, fucking bikes.
	Yeah.
	Stupid two wheels and the pedals and handlebars.
	Yeah, because what New York needs is more cars.
	That's the solution.
	There's no cars there now.
	They've got outlawed cars right after pizza ovens.
	I'm curious if this guy... It's funny that he did have that quote of like, well, that other guy's full of shit.
	He does seem like he's not really fully into this, but he also comes up with the problem about the bikes and all that.
	But I just imagine the hypocrisy of complaining about some Probably one of your fucking employees that has to go breathe in pure death to work at your fucking pizza place has to get on a ferry and gets to pay $4 instead of $10.
	And you're going to complain about that after taking $430,000 of government money.
	It's just incredible.
	I misunderstood that, that you have to pay $10 and it should only cost $4.
	They're making people pay more because of... It's the opposite.
	Yeah, you only have to pay for, but it costs.
	I'm just saying I personally misunderstood that when I watched the video, because I was like, oh, yeah, OK, cool.
	Well, you're making people pay more because it's polluting.
	That's not even what it is they're paying.
	We're paying so that they don't have to pay as much, even though it costs more.
	What?
	OK, terrible.
	Actually, I think right now it had been like two dollars and thirty five cents is what people were paying.
	And then the subsidy was a little higher than what he said.
	But they're reducing that even more to help people who can't afford.
	to do that or older folks. - Oh, they're reducing?
	I thought you were saying they were gonna get rid of the subsidy more. - So they're trying to move to a tiered rate. - It's so fucked, by the way, with all this stuff, with the subways, with all the public transport, it should just be free.
	They looked at it and it's like, the amount that they get from people paying their $2 to ride the fucking fare, it's nothing.
	It's one pizza restaurant's worth of COVID money.
	It's absolutely nothing.
	And the amount they have to pay to have people enforce it, to have people process it.
	By the end of the thing, you've spent a bunch of money to charge poor people a dollar more that doesn't even fucking do anything.
	It's so fucking stupid.
	And it reduces ridership, right?
	Because then now your revenue stream's impacted if people can't afford to hop on the ferry.
	Oh, that's the other thing.
	Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, for businesses, wouldn't you want, that would be where you would start is like, how do we get people to want to come to all the restaurants and businesses and museums and all that stuff?
	Oh, make all the public transportation free.
	But we'll lose like $200 a year if we don't do that for all our expenses.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	Well, the woke are coming for our pizza.
	I think we've pretty much covered it.
	Hon, is there any other research that we didn't get to?
	Um, I think the only other thing I'll say is that, you know, like looking at New York City's best pizzeria, I know Polly G says there's no best, there's only favorites, but looking at some, you know, an eater list out of New York, there's a lot of pizza places that are highly rated that have ovens post 2016, including the Neapolitan style.
	So, uh, that's, that's what the big fight about it.
	That's where my mind went, I was like, what is this?
	Sounds delicious.
	No, that's the classic wood-fired one, right?
	Where they said that that style of pizza will just disappear.
	So is that how they make that ice cream?
	They put it in a wood fire?
	Apparently.
	Chocolate is just baked longer.
	Gross.
	But yeah, so there's plenty of pizza places to go to, even if some of these don't feel like doing it and want to go out of business to protest.
	I don't know.
	They never do.
	No, they don't.
	Nothing yet, exactly.
	Oh, and then one other thing, the public hearing will be virtual for this.
	So if anyone wants to tune into that, I can share that.
	Kind of feel like I might listen to it because I want to hear like the public reaction and stuff.
	If like if we should make some video comes, you know, yeah, like you're going to throw more pizza.
	Yeah, he's like, I need everyone to install this add-on to Zoom so I can make sure the pizza throwing works virtually.
	It'll do a splat on your screen.
	We could make some predictions because here's the thing.
	Will there be some other fake thing, fake controversy that comes up between now and then?
	And so literally no one will attend this or care except for like, you know, one person who doesn't know anything about this who just likes to go to governments.
	Like in Parks and Rec, like the one person who goes to all those things.
	Like it could just be that like genuinely they could do this public comment and it might be nothing like literally nobody will pay attention or will they have that sustained enough interest to go and like complain about a bunch of fake things and then have the poor government employee that's working it be like that's not Okay, your time's up.
	Because they give them, like, what, you know, 30 seconds to talk.
	Okay, your time's up.
	None of that was real.
	Next.
	You know, like.
	Yeah.
	It'll be one of those two things.
	I don't think anyone's going to show up.
	It's not for another month.
	Oh, yeah.
	For the hearing.
	I think they're going to get over it.
	There will be several pizza oven controversies past this.
	I was going to say, the odds that somebody shows up and does, like, a long story about how their ancestor came from Italy and, like, made pizzas.
	With nothing in his pockets but two slices of pepperoni pie.
	That would be good, I wouldn't lie.
	That's amazing.
	He didn't have two little pepperoni slices to rub together.
	He died at 46 from lung cancer from the particulate.
	And that was his God-given American right!
	Oh man, well Sam, thanks for joining us to take on this very serious issue.
	Yeah, I'll be here for all pizza stuff.
	Pizza correspondent, Sam Smith.
	I go to type in who, and it does Wilhelm von Gloyd, like just from the W.
	Is that something that I was searching earlier?
	Okay.

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