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Dec. 12, 2024 - Tate Speech - Andrew Tate
28:23
Ho Ho Huracan | Tate Confidential Ep 267
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Time Text
*music* Tristan, we are finally out of the house, sir.
We have been locked up in that house for months, and I'll be honest with you, this kind of feels weird.
We're going straight back.
I just have to pick up my new lighter.
Well, something's better than nothing, I suppose.
Yeah, I'm going to go pick up my new lighter, pick up some cigars, and then I'm going to go straight home.
You don't even need a new lighter.
We don't even go out anymore to flex the lighters.
This one is special.
I'm going to keep it in my bedroom next to my bed.
Okay, it must be special because you don't even do that with the casino lighter.
No, it is special.
You haven't actually told me what it is.
What are we picking up?
I know it's a lighter, but that's all I know.
It's a lighter.
It's a device that makes fire that you use to light cigarettes and cigars.
No shit, Sherlock.
Yeah, I know.
It's really, really cool.
No shit!
What type of lighter is it?
What type?
Oh, it's one that makes fire.
Oh my gosh.
You'll like it.
Alright.
I think you'll like it.
I ordered it ages ago.
Alright, we'll see.
Kristen, do you remember how it feels to walk outside of the house?
Yeah, it sucks.
I miss my house.
I don't know if I can make it on the outside, baby.
I'm institutionalized.
Fully institutionalized.
Jailman for life.
I'll pick up that layer.
I'll buy a few cigars as well.
Sure.
And then I'll pop it back home.
Let's see what else you want.
What is it?
It's a miter and ashtray set.
I know, but DuPonts always have themes.
What is the theme?
No idea.
So you came in to buy cigars, and someone already bought you cigars?
Yes, someone already bought me cigars.
Cool.
Well, I'll buy another box as well while I'm here, and then my new lighter's here as well.
Of course.
It's beautiful.
So, Tristan, I have something good for you, some new...
These are new, yeah?
Yeah, these are new.
Okay, I'll take a box of these.
Thank you.
And then give me some normal ones.
Some H upnets.
Magnum 54s or Connoisseurs, anything like that.
Perfect.
One box.
Appreciate it.
I'll take that box as well.
We did a receipt from a long time.
Yeah, I know.
I've been busy locked in my house working.
And that's enough for today.
I've got that box.
These two boxes.
Oh, very cool.
Very cool.
Wonderful.
Wonderful, wonderful.
Hello.
Could I please have this as well while we're at it?
Yes.
Leave the house and all of a sudden you're in a money-spending mood.
I haven't spent money in ages.
I'm rich.
You did just buy a boat.
I ordered a boat.
I only paid the deposit of four million dollars.
Yeah, I'll take these two as well.
Yeah.
The Casablanca.
Beautiful!
Now we're talking.
Santa brought your DuPont.
This is a lighter, baby.
Oh my gosh.
I'm sorry, my dad.
Got it, bro.
No problem.
It's lighter Break anything fragile Fragili.
Fragili?
Oh, that's Romanian.
You didn't get the joke.
Hopefully someone will.
Ah, Fragili!
It must be Italian!
Some coffee?
Uh, no, I'm okay for coffee.
I'm perfectly fine.
Some water?
No, no, no.
I'm perfectly good.
I've never seen you turn down coffee.
We're in a hurry.
We're in a hurry after I get this.
You're a slow coffee drinker now.
You can't just pound one like you always do.
I hope we put it back well.
Beautiful.
Now we're talking.
So this is the display stand.
This is where the lighter sits.
Emperor Napoleon.
This is awesome.
You know it, baby.
Alright, that looks pretty epic.
It is, isn't it?
He looks like Joaquin Phoenix.
just shut up baby Wow Alright, I understand now.
Yep, pretty nice.
What's DuPont's tagline?
Be exceptional.
Alright, that's fitting.
And this one?
How much did Mr. Napoleon cost?
I think about 17,000 euros, something like this.
What?
I don't know.
I don't know how much it cost.
I forgot.
I remember, he told me when I ordered it, but now it's 20,000 euros.
20,000 euros.
Even better.
Even better.
You got a coffee after all.
Stay powerful.
I would join you, but I don't consume caffeine past 1 p.m.
Are you trying to upset me?
I have to admit.
You have to admit.
When I see something sick, I will give credit where credit is due.
You're going to buy a 20,000 euro lighter.
That's definitely worth the money.
That's the one you're going to get.
Oh, I mean, that's the one you're going to get, of course.
Emperor Napoleon with his royal crest on it, his face on one side, and a solid bronze display stand.
Christmas came early.
It's Christmas time, T. Yep.
Christmas time.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Shut up, baby.
That's a psyop.
It's fucking cold and grey.
July in the summer on my yacht will be the most wonderful time of the year.
But nothing beats Christmas time, Tee.
Everything beats Christmas time.
Tristan, I can already tell that you're getting into the Christmas spirit.
Why?
You're buying yourself gifts.
I ordered this four months ago.
You just seem like you're getting into the Christmas spirit.
It's time for hosting parties.
Roasting marshmallows, caroling out in the snow.
I have no friends.
I hate carols.
You don't have any friends.
I do agree with that.
So who am I going to host for a party?
You.
When we eat dinner together every night anyway.
I'll join your party.
You're not invited.
I'm just going to have to crash your Christmas party.
I need to make you a stalking for Christmas this year.
Leave me alone.
It's Christmas, T. I have no interest in Christmas.
You are the Grinch.
I know.
If anyone is the human form of the Grinch, it's you.
Oh my god.
And that's the opposite of the Grinch.
You know, I should have smelled a setup when you started asking me about Christmas.
I love this.
Fuck out of the road.
Fuck, I'm leaving the car here.
*laughs* Merry Christmas!
Goodwill to all men!
What is this shit?
It's Christmas!
It's not!
It's just December!
Aren't you happy?
What month is Christmas in?
December!
You got it!
Merry Christmas!
Not your present!
What have you done to the house?
Not your present!
A Christmas present!
The caveat.
First, you have to admit that I made the house look very Christmassy.
Did you do the fucking inside as well?
Tristan, it would be truly asinine for me to decorate the entire entirety of our house.
Christmassy.
Goodwill to all men.
You're gonna love your present.
I promise.
You're gonna love it.
It's Christmas!
What the fuck have you done?
Are you happy?
I've done Christmas!
Look!
It's Christmas for us now.
Look what I've done.
I've done Christmas.
A month of this.
Goodwill to all men.
You know where they are next to Christmas decorations?
I'm sure.
My room.
Wait, wait, wait.
Go take a present first.
Wait, go take a present.
Did you get his room?
I hope you got his room.
Goodwill to all men!
Give me the fucking box.
Two wheels of all men.
Ah, the Christmas lights are getting worse.
I guess that's because you're being a Scrooge.
So you ruin the present.
But don't worry.
We got a whole month of this.
I'll make sure you have a cigarette at some point.
Goodwill to all men!
Merry Christmas!
Enjoy house arrest!
- All right, guys, we're going back out. - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. we're going back out. - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
Did you buy that Lambo Outsider or was that a guest?
Oh yeah, I bought it.
The green one?
Yes, Christmas.
Green is Christmas.
No.
I've actually never seen you drive a Lambo.
You've not had a Lambo in a long time.
Yeah, I do.
I took my last one.
I think I'll call it four or five Lambos.
You look so excited.
Andrew, tis the season to be jolly.
It's Christmas.
Yeah, so I got a green Lambo.
For the decoration of the house, I want a green car.
Because we had the red Lada last year, so now I've got a green car.
Green, red.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Yeah, it's Christmas.
I had to buy myself something.
No one buys me shit.
Too rich.
I had to do something Christmassy, you know?
Merry Christmas to me. - Is it a coincidence that the police showed up right after you got a new Lambo?
I'll fucking show it to them.
We'll show it to them.
What the fuck?
What the fuck are you going to do?
Come take it.
Can I buy another one?
No business.
Who's here?
Your mates.
Yeah, fucking fuck you.
Take my Lambo.
I don't give a shit.
What's all your Lambo?
What's that?
Wait, what's that?
change Happy birthday to you You're not singing to make me happy.
You're singing to annoy you.
It's a different kind of sound.
Happy birthday to Andrew.
Happy birthday to you.
You're not singing to make me happy.
You should have walked in trumpeting it.
Alright, be right back.
It's technically not your birthday yet.
It's like in two minutes, so I can't play the trumpet again.
He will come to the cell phone.
Well, I ordered a yacht for his birthday that I certainly won't be using for myself.
And it's your birthday.
Who is this?
Who sent me this?
What is it?
Thank you.
A letter of some sort.
I just don't know where it's from.
Happy birthday.
I want to...
Okay, some girl in love with me.
Thanks.
A rose.
That's nice.
What do we have here?
Gee, we have to get him for your birthday.
For his birthday.
Aha!
Peep show!
Which, of course, only the English people know is the best show I've ever made.
Mark Corrigan.
Nothing you want is ever going to happen.
That's the real world.
Absolutely true.
And candy.
Amazing.
Thank you very much.
You made me happy.
I'm eating right now.
Sour straws.
Thank you.
Would you like one?
Heck yeah.
You're not allowed on.
I actually wanted one.
For my birthday, I want to deny you things.
My present is giving you none on my birthday.
Do you remember what I got you last year for your birthday?
Do you remember?
No.
I got you the same thing this year that I got you last year.
Well, undesirable company.
A cigarette.
Happy birthday.
If I reach out and you snatch it from me...
Bailey.
How can I snatch it if I'm holding it?
You're gonna try and pull your hand away.
I won't.
You will.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
You still can't have any candy.
Andrew, look.
The police came to tell you happy birthday.
Super nicer than actually.
I wonder if they got you for your birthday.
And a rest warrant.
Knowing my luck?
Probably.
83 years old today.
He's an old man.
He's an old man Their souls have been fucked out so there's no one there's no We're gonna start that again Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to Andrew.
Happy birthday to you.
Are you 83 or is Christy retarded?
He's 83. He is an old man.
He's 83. You're not singing for my happiness.
You're singing to annoy me.
No, I'm singing for your pure joy and happiness, actually.
Look, you're smiling.
You're singing at me to annoy me.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you!
Make a wish.
Happy birthday!
I wish you all to stop singing.
I wish that's what I wish.
Happy birthday to you!
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
Blow out the candles.
Make a wish.
No, no, no.
Make a wish, Andrew.
No cake.
We're done.
I've upgraded my poker tactics for tonight.
Tonight, on Andrew's birthday, I'm gonna be unbeatable.
I'll be the luckiest man at the table and you won't be able to stop me.
What is your secret tactic?
Let's try to find out.
Andrew, what'd you get for your birthday?
Yeah.
A PS5. You gonna play a PS5 now?
I already had a PS5. Bet you never play.
That was such a thoughtful gift.
Anyway, Smash Bros.
Nintendo.
Where are these saggats?
Birthday SFB time.
SSB. Grindr will be there tomorrow, baby.
I'm filming.
Grindr will be there tomorrow.
I don't think everyone knows our saying.
Grindr will in fact be there tomorrow.
Yeah.
Would you ever complain at me in front of my friends on my birthday?
Bye.
Would you ever do that?
No matter what?
No, no matter what.
Cool.
Why?
I'm wondering.
- I'll just sign a blank check for Mayhem. - Thanks for the birthday dinner, Marcel.
Thanks, Steve.
Appreciate it.
Welcome back.
Very thoughtful of you.
Me and Nigel.
Thanks, Nig.
No caviar, no lobster.
You know what?
This is actually fucking better than that crap.
All that expensive shit.
This is expensive enough and it's banging.
I hate caviar.
Caviar is actually really good.
In small amounts, because it's expensive.
It wasn't expensive if you wouldn't eat it.
It's a psyop.
Oysters are actually objectively good, regardless of the price.
Caviar is a psyop.
But the more expensive the oyster is, the better.
Because the size is different.
You know what I wish for your birthday?
Yeah.
Better group of friends.
Hmm.
Too bad.
What's been the best part of your birthday so far?
Not training.
Not training?
I'm so happy that I don't train.
It's my third day off this year.
It's my third ever day without training this entire year.
I've had two days off so far.
And I felt guilty for them.
He's being filmed on January 3rd.
So guilty.
Yeah.
So guilty that the days after my days off, I trained double.
So I didn't really have a day off.
And I trained...
I did train double or triple mostly this week.
Today was thumb day.
I'm having a day off, then tomorrow I'll lift 30,000 kilos.
To make others.
Might get Manu here again and punch him in the face.
My poker technique is going to defeat all of you tonight.
You haven't got a single...
You don't even know what it could be.
You don't have a technique.
I changed the game this time.
And when you see my new style of play, you're going to say, fuck.
You're actually right.
He's going to play with his cards up.
He might do that.
He might actually play with his cards up.
But then no one will go in when you're winning.
How are you going to make money?
You don't know what technique I'm going to utilize tonight.
I'm kind of excited.
I mean, you're kind of scared.
Maybe a little bit.
When you see it, you're going to be like, fuck!
I was not prepared for that level of game.
Alright, here's the rules for the rest of my birthday.
It should have been a rule from the beginning, but all you faggots were obviously scared.
Everyone has to be smoking.
All the time.
Until bed.
Cigars or shisha?
No, no, no.
You can chain smoke cigarettes.
If you're brave enough to smoke 75 cigarettes from now to bed, you deserve it.
You ain't got lit tobacco, you're a faggot.
Hey, you sit.
You're gonna need this.
Irish wishing star.
What is it?
It's an Irish wishing star.
Why do you have Irish wishing star?
That's your good luck card.
Put it from home.
I was in Dublin this morning.
Thank you.
The problem is, when he dresses like that, his stat keeps doubling and doubling.
There's no way I do it two times in a row.
Yes!
It's his birthday bro!
Make it fucking fun!
Are you calling him blind?
You're going to look at your cards first.
Oh, I'm going to look at them.
Yusuf the Looker they call them.
I'm boring compared to me.
Marcel wins!
All in blind.
Tristan, is your trick going to work today?
No, I'm going to work.
Ha ha.
The Irish Stone will not help you.
Neither will the whiskey.
I'm not Irish enough because I've been drinking.
8pm.
So if they drink at your pace, by 11, everyone's going to be slumping, not playing.
I've mentioned drinking loads.
We've now had one drink per game.
I'm just saying.
You can do whatever you want.
But if I check the clock at 10.45 and everyone's like...
We've had a single drink per game.
Plus, after midnight, we know you shit.
We've had one drink per game.
That's what we've had, alright?
One.
Per game.
I'm usually a six minimum.
You're lucky I don't drink, because the amount of drunken sparring would be hilarious.
Drunken master.
No, I'm not even trying to drink, though.
Drunken sparring would be good, because I can't control the power of my shots.
I'd still land them, but I can't pull them and make sure they don't do too much damage, so they'd just be straight busted eyes and shit.
As long as you're not drinking.
No, that's what I'm saying.
If I was drinking, it'd be drunken master, and I'd be dumping around saying I'm the drunken master.
It'd be funny.
Swinging wild.
Marcel!
Marcel!
Oh, what was that?
What was that tea?
All in blind.
All in blind?
I'm all in blind.
You're fucked.
All in?
You're fucked.
I'm all in blind.
Play it out.
All in blind for both?
These are mine, yeah?
All in blind.
I'm all in blind.
Oh, you're fucked.
Andrew's got it.
I'm all in blind.
Andrew's got it.
Boom!
Andrew's got it.
You got full?
Two pair.
Andrew's got it!
What did I tell you?
No way!
What did I tell you?
No way!
Because I have a flush, but you got a higher one.
Yeah, queen, higher one.
Boom!
What did I say?
I felt the energy!
I felt the energy!
Hey, I'm still in the game!
I felt the energy!
Still in the game!
What did I say?
I said he's hot right now, bro.
You wanna come outside, nigger?
Bro, I had a flush!
On an all in blind.
You Irish bitch.
What do you want to do you Irish bitch?
Let's go.
16,000.
There's no road back.
17,000.
Okay, so give me 50. Give me two greens.
All in blind!
You're going all in blind again.
All in fucking blind!
You know what it is?
It's time to lose the Blackie Stone.
Chris, get another whiskey!
Irish whiskey immediately!
No, Scotch whiskey, that's all I got.
So I'm winning this one, I'm winning the next one, and I got it.
Let's go!
Andrew's going to be surprised how many yellows he loses this round.
Andrew, I got the luck of the Irish on me side.
You can't beat me.
Father, why are you so sad upon this Easter morn?
When Irishmen are proud and glad of the land that they were born?
All in blood!
Let's go!
Six, nine, eight!
- Hey, boom.
- Hey.
- What you got, Ferg?
- You're fucking toast.
- Am I?
- Yeah. - I'm toast. - Straight. - Straight with a seven. - Shit, I got triple eights. - Lucky funders, five, six, seven, eight, nine. - Bro, green niggers always lose to black niggers.
Ah, it was a good game, it was a good game.
Can't wait for another one.
Merry Christmas!
I know you're thinking it's not Christmas yet, but it will be soon.
Think how quickly this year has disappeared.
And what have you achieved this year?
Fucking nothing.
So time disappears quickly and before you know it, it will be Christmas Day.
And I know you're wondering, what will you open on Christmas Day that will make you happy?
Why don't you get something you want for once?
And it's for that reason, TopeG.com is going to have a fantastic brand new push of products this December.
Need to order them now to get them on Christmas Day.
We have Fireblood, which I've previously explained has all the vitamins and minerals you need to stop being a pussy.
We have boxing gloves, we have the comic books, all perfect for your nephews, your younger brothers.
We have the t-shirts, built different for the kind of people who buy yachts while under house arrest.
But I thought, because I am Top G, and the G stands for generous, and I want you to be able to buy every single person you know a gift from TopG.com, what do you buy for all the people who pretend they don't like me?
That's right, because everybody actually likes me.
Nobody genuinely dislikes me.
They just pretend to dislike.
So for this reason, I've created the I Love Andrew Tate Fan Club.
If you go to topg.com, you can buy this brand new design of t-shirt.
That's right.
You know your auntie who says you shouldn't listen to me?
She'd love one of these.
Or your ex-girlfriend, who said you became too misogynistic after listening to my videos.
She started crying her eyes out saying you wouldn't let her have sex with other men anymore.
That bitch.
Remember her?
She love one of these t-shirts.
Cause secretly she loves me.
She pretends she doesn't, but these women get naked at night and watch my videos and touch themselves.
I know they do.
Lucy from the BBC, fucking send her one.
And as an extra bonus, as an added bonus cause the G stands for generous, any time you buy one of these t-shirts from topg.com, there's gonna be a box.
Where you can put in an email address.
And any email address you put in there will be subscribed to the brand new I Love Andrew Tate Fan Club.
And I'm going to write a brand new misogynistic email that I send every single day.
So not only does your aunt get this t-shirt, she also gets misogynistic emails directly from me.
The I Love Andrew Tate Fan Club, for all the people who pretend to not like me, and all the people who admit they do like me, can buy built different t-shirts, all available at topg.com.
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