| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
New Roof, Leaky House
00:05:04
|
|
| *music* *music* | |
| *music* You got to love Romanian ingenuity. | |
| Brand new roof. | |
| One day old. | |
| And would you look at that. | |
| The whole house is soaked. | |
| Everything's leaking. | |
| Lovely. | |
| This is a design feature. | |
| Design feature. | |
| Saves the morning shower time. | |
| No, this is not a built-in feature. | |
| This is obviously a fault. | |
| I said the police can't get in. | |
| I never say anything about war. | |
| Oh, you're scared of war? | |
| I'm not scared of water. | |
| Personally, I'm happy with my purchase. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Just saying. | |
| You're not going to bring us down, faggot. | |
| Why are you insulting my house? | |
| You live here rent-free. | |
| Why don't you get the fuck out? | |
| You don't like my ceiling? | |
| You get out. | |
| You don't like it? | |
| You get out. | |
| You don't like it? | |
| Ready? | |
| You're about to spar in a few minutes, and you're having a massage and pepper soup before you spar. | |
| Changing it up a bit. | |
| I thought you were supposed to do that after. | |
| Rule breaker. | |
| I don't know how your body is feeling right now, but it must be feeling rough because you did Megatron yesterday. | |
| You were Megatron the day before. | |
| The day before that, you sparred 20 rounds with Nigel and Marcel. | |
| The day before that, you sparred another 20 rounds. | |
| The day before that, you were sparring. | |
| You're on house arrest. | |
| All you do is spar, which is badass, but your body must be feeling it. | |
| And what are you doing today? | |
| Sparring. | |
| Got pepper soup, though. | |
| Does pepper soup heal you? | |
| You wouldn't get it. | |
| You're white. | |
| I am white. | |
| Pepper Soup gets you powers. | |
| Unexplainable powers that the white man doesn't understand. | |
| Like ignoring your baby mothers. | |
| Like having children you don't really care about. | |
| You don't get it. | |
| You're all like, oh, I have a baby. | |
| She's baby trapped me. | |
| I better pay all her bills. | |
| You don't get it. | |
| When you've had Pepper Soups the other way around, I've baby trapped her. | |
| And I don't have to reply to her anymore. | |
| You know what's funny? | |
| It's not actually funny. | |
| Is it 100% true? | |
| I had a child. | |
| White people think the baby traps the man. | |
| You people are weird. | |
| You people are weird. | |
| You better go change the diapers. | |
| Fucking gay, bro. | |
| It's funny because that's my mental paradigm, bro. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, it's my one-year-old's birthday. | |
| I'll be there. | |
| Yeah, they'll remember. | |
| They'll remember the one-year-old. | |
| Bro, shut up. | |
| Bro, that's hilarious. | |
| That's my exact mental paradigm. | |
| You white people are so obsessed with raising kids. | |
| You raise our kids because you pay taxes. | |
| And they're in a council house. | |
| You're raising our kids, too. | |
| Fucking idiots. | |
| Bro, how busy? | |
| How do we get onto this topic? | |
| We're talking about sparring. | |
| We need some pepper soup, bro. | |
| Man up. | |
| He's good. | |
| I just have old man tricks, that's all. | |
|
Fighting Angles and Headbutts
00:08:46
|
|
| You're in there flowing. | |
| It's tricks. | |
| Either go back on the angle or don't go back at all. | |
| Either go back on the angle or go out. | |
| Ten seconds. | |
| Go out and headbutt him. | |
| Put your head down and fucking headbutt him. | |
| Fuck him, it's boxing. | |
| Headbutts, who cares? | |
| It happens all the time. | |
| Let's go. | |
| Relax, chill, give it your job. | |
| That's it, chill. | |
| Good. | |
| Control this left hand. | |
| Aikido it and then fucking jab it. | |
| Nice. | |
| That's it. | |
| Go forwards. | |
| Go backwards. | |
| Forward. | |
| Keep your feet climbing. | |
| Let's go. | |
| Forward. | |
| Go backwards. | |
| Forward. | |
| There we go. | |
| Nice job. | |
| Boom. | |
| That's it. | |
| And then left hook. | |
| The left hook. | |
| There, not backwards, forward. | |
| Let's go, let's go. | |
| One minute. | |
| One minute. | |
| You know what to do, Marcel, because you're staying. | |
| You jump in and out of it. | |
| You have it. | |
| Boom, boom, boom. | |
| Then they do something that makes you start worrying and just swinging. | |
| But when you're controlled and calm, you have it. | |
| But then you panic when they come at you. | |
| When they come at you, just chill, let them come. | |
| People rush at me, just block the jab and clinch. | |
| It's here! | |
| It's like... | |
| Time! | |
| Go! | |
| It's just you're not used to getting hit, so it's like, it's zen. | |
| It's like, fuck it, get hit, it carries. | |
| Don't use to jab more. | |
| You're used to jab, you're going in that shot's good, but then you jump back. | |
| I don't know why you jump back, that doesn't help you ever. | |
| Because you're too far away to hit them, they can still hit you, and if they're tired, they just rest. | |
| So there's no point in you jumping back. | |
| If you're gonna back off from him, back off at an angle, so you can hit him still. | |
| Don't go straight back. | |
| Especially with, like, head kicks. | |
| We didn't get kicked. | |
| You gotta go off at an angle or stay there. | |
| You're going back to rest, but you don't have to go back to rest. | |
| You can rest point blank. | |
| Put your gloves on his gloves and fucking rest. | |
| Then rest. | |
| Rest there if you want to rest. | |
| You get in his face and rest. | |
| I get in his face and just fucking sit there. | |
| Block, block. | |
| Rest there. | |
| It's the same. | |
| And the ring is small, like... | |
| You can't run and rest. | |
| It takes more energy to run. | |
| You get one breath max if they're on you. | |
| If they're on you, you get a breath. | |
| It takes more energy to jump away than it does to get that breath. | |
| You're not gaining anything. | |
| You're still tired. | |
| You rest more from being in the pocket, tying them up. | |
| That's how you rest. | |
| Worry. | |
| I know it's easy for me to say because I've done it my whole life. | |
| I'm just saying, if you want to rest, you can be in his face, jab cross, body hook. | |
| Block, block, block, cross, cross, jab cross. | |
| You rest more like that than you will try to run all the time. | |
| It's a mental lie. | |
| Yeah, it's a mental lie. | |
| You're not getting any rest. | |
| You can't hit them. | |
| And if they're lanky like me, they're going to hit you. | |
| You're going to get out of it. | |
| And if you're going to go back, go back at an angle, at least. | |
| But like there was a time there where you Aikido'd his jab and you jab back and you just missed because you jumped back and Aikido'd it. | |
| If you'd have stood there, Aikido'd it, boom, you'd have fucking clucked it. | |
| The whole fight game's distance, your job at the beginning of all the starring is to get into fight range against Aikido. | |
| So don't keep resetting your own jaw. | |
| You want to be point blank. | |
| You want to rest point blank. | |
| You want to rest with your chin. | |
| You want to try and headbutt us. | |
| Put your head on our fucking headbutt us in fights. | |
| That's where you rest. | |
| It's harder for us to hit you up that hole. | |
| What is it? | |
| Bro, you just got to the side before you jab once. | |
| Jab three times and hit me. | |
| With you, you jab, I do this, I get the position. | |
| That's how I'm hitting you so clean. | |
| You want to flick it all the time, so I have to be doing this all the time. | |
| Or I have too much thinking time. | |
| And I choose my punches. | |
| It's too easy. | |
| When you throw the jab, it doesn't make me throw it. | |
| Like you hit me back. | |
| You hit me where I'm going to hit. | |
| Yeah, I make it and do this. | |
| Or I jab here, then I change to southpaw cross and the southpaw hook. | |
| So like, I'll show you. | |
| I jab, I go back to southpaw. | |
| With southpaw punches. | |
| If I jab you, go here. | |
| Now swap the southpaw. | |
| There you go. | |
| Now lift that hand. | |
| See? | |
| That's what I'm doing. | |
| So again, I jab you, slip. | |
| There. | |
| Boom. | |
| Cross. | |
| All body. | |
| And people don't expect it because it's unusual. | |
| I might use 26. Come | |
| Come on, don't wait. | |
| What are you waiting for? | |
| Waiting to get hit. | |
| Come on. | |
| Come on, what are you waiting for? | |
| What are you waiting for? | |
| What are you waiting for? | |
| It doesn't have to get into your butt. | |
| Stand up! | |
| Come on! | |
| Snap, brother. | |
| You got me snapping. | |
| Don't be lazy with it. | |
| Stand there waiting to get hit, brother. | |
| Come on. | |
| You got me snapping. | |
| Snap, snap, snap. | |
| There you go. | |
| Snap, come on. | |
| Okay. | |
| Be comfortable. | |
| Be comfortable now. | |
| Stop, stop, sit. | |
| Over. | |
| Hold. | |
|
Two, One, Punch!
00:03:26
|
|
| Start to start dancing there. | |
| Start until you'll be in trouble. | |
| One minute left. | |
| Two, one, let's go. | |
| Do it, Sam. | |
| That's it. | |
| Come on. | |
| Come on. | |
| Two, one, two, one. | |
| Two, one, two, one. Two, one, two, one. | |
| Two, one, two, one. | |
| Come on. | |
| Two, one, two, one. | |
| Come on. | |
| Twenty seconds. | |
| Two, one, two. | |
| Two, one, two. Two, one, two. Two, one, two. Two, one, two. Two, one, two. | |
| Two, one, two. Two, one, two. Two, one, two. | |
| Come on. | |
| Twenty seconds. | |
| Two, one, two. | |
| Let's go. | |
| Come on. | |
| Ten seconds, let's go, let's go, let's go! | |
| Five, four, three, two, one. | |
| It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. | |
| Gotta get in there, hey? | |
| So I duck with Tristan. | |
| I used to drink with Tristan all the time, right? | |
| And I'm like, yeah, I've got him. | |
| And I sat there and I was sober one time and I watched him drink and I said, mm-mm. | |
| I've never thought I've had you, but I'm like, hey, I'm getting better. | |
| I'm better. | |
| What the fuck? | |
| He's playing with us this whole fucking time, bro. | |
| And that wasn't even 100%, and that was fucking scary. | |
| Bruh. | |
| It's mind games. | |
| You go get in the head and take a match of it. | |
| You've got to be brave enough to do it, though. | |
| It's like a gambit. | |
| It's like poker. | |
| You know, you start betting. | |
| It's the same thing, bro. | |
| Bruh. | |
| You're here, and you want to rest until you go back. | |
| But back ain't going to help you. | |
| If you want to rest, Control this hand, and go here. | |
| Here's where you rest. | |
| Because he can't hit me. | |
| And you can just either clinch him, or you can hit him. | |
| If it's MMA, you take him down, just to that side angle. | |
| So if I want to rest against him, and wait for him to jab. | |
| Jab him in the face, jab him. | |
| Good, okay? | |
| I'll do this. | |
| I usually hit him. | |
| And then I'll just do this. | |
| And then just push him. | |
| And then do this. | |
| Rest here. | |
| You're winning. | |
| If you back up, he gets to swing and it looks bad. | |
| Jumping back. | |
| Also, you don't realize how much energy you're using jumping. | |
| It's tiring. | |
| And you're not. | |
| You're going to lose all your energy to hurt him. | |
| You're using a lot of energy to jump. | |
| To get out of the way. | |
| If he gets to throw a punch and you avoiding the punch takes more energy than his punch, then you're losing. | |
| It's like an energy exchange. | |
| If he spends two points of energy and you spend ten, then he'll just keep punching. | |
| It doesn't matter if he hits you. | |
| Whereas if he punches, and I just do this, and hit him back, see what I mean? | |
| So you've got to be a lot more... | |
| With you, you've got to be a lot more... | |
| So I know he's far away, I know he's awkward, but as soon as he just come in, and he covers up, then just come in low. | |
| If he covers up like that, just come in fucking low. | |
| Come in down here so he can't even hit you. | |
| And then just... | |
| And then when he starts backing up, going anywhere, hit the angle. | |
| And then hold it. | |
| And then get him against the wall. | |
| Then beat him up again. | |
| It's a fight! | |