| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Mariachi Music Jail Cigarette
00:11:56
|
|
| 🎵Mariachi Music🎵 🎵Mariachi Music🎵 | |
| Just like jail! | |
| 🎵Mariachi Music🎵 Jail Cigarette! | |
| 🎵Mariachi Music🎵 Woo! | |
| 🎵Mariachi Music🎵 🎵Mariachi Music🎵 | |
| 🎵Mariachi Music🎵 We have room service. | |
| Room service? I'm about to service myself. | |
| Piece of shit. | |
| I'm so sick to death of Andrew and his New Year's Eve buzzkilling. | |
| Get the fuck out of my way. | |
| What am I doing? Shut up! | |
| I offered him food. It's time to booze. | |
| Okay. He's hitting the booze. | |
| Fucking hitting the booze. | |
| Fucking minibar in this bitch. | |
| Ho ho ho. Haha! | |
| You have to room service it like the little coward you are. | |
| I want some booze, please! | |
| Drink all the air. | |
| Booze. | |
| No, don't. | |
| Drink all the air. | |
| One down. | |
| Ask my brother. Ask your brother? | |
| Oh no worries, shut up first. | |
| What I would like is a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label Whiskey and a bottle of Dom Perignon Champagne. | |
| Dom Perignon, one, two? Uh, one for now. | |
| A bottle of Dom Perignon Champagne and a bottle of Blue Label Whiskey with some ice, some red balls of Coca-Cola. | |
| Yeah, Blue Whiskey and Dom Perignon. | |
| Shut up first. Yeah, that's cool. | |
| Just me, Andrew. Tell these losers some miniatures, please. | |
| Doesn't matter what they are. I'm easy. | |
| If you really don't like what you got, I'm ready to switch a room with you. | |
| I don't give a shit. Miniatures for the losers. | |
| Hand them out. Let me just tell you all something. | |
| You're all lucky I don't drink it. Because it'll be worse. | |
| Because I'd roll with him until 90% of the average. | |
| All right, let's go! Grab one! Oh, Mr. | |
| Cameraman! You ain't getting away with it. Take this fucking thing. | |
| Give this to Bailey. James. | |
| If you want to switch with Bailey, switch with Bailey. | |
| Alright, let's go. | |
| Let me sit. Well, let's not stand on fucking ceremony, ladies. | |
| What are you sitting here for? | |
| Let me just look at the bottle all day. | |
| Are we boozing? Wait. | |
| I'll set the camera now. I'm the cameraman. | |
| New job. I have a new job. | |
| You haven't outsmarted the system. | |
| It's New Year's Eve. Let's go. | |
| Take the ball. Cheers ladies. Nutritious and delicious. | |
| Come on Marcel. Come on Marcel. Woohoo. | |
| What are you two ladies doing? Drink your booze. | |
| Thank you, Bailey. Alright, now turn the camera on Alex. | |
| Alex, I'm eating Pringles. | |
| Sorry. Pringles theme here. | |
| Sorry. You're mixing yours with Coke? | |
| Yes. You are such a nice guy. | |
| Well played. Well played. | |
| That was good. What? Sorry, but I just stopped talking to my throat. | |
| Mmm, this buffet that you got, fucking incredible. | |
| You understand me? | |
| It's different on the streets. | |
| From the same streets. From the same streets. | |
| From the same streets. L-U-3. | |
| It's different. Alex, your turn. | |
| From the streets of Romania. Shit! | |
| Pressure's on now! | |
| Pressure's on now, T! No gummies! | |
| Brush it off! | |
| Don't let us down! | |
| No, you freeze it! | |
| Don't let us down! | |
| This has become something much bigger than it should be! | |
| I'm a street player. | |
| You guys are busy playing the cards and the colours. | |
| You understand? It's a numbers game. | |
| You understand me? It's different when you're playing Street Rules Uno. | |
| For life. Can you get him? | |
| No one can get me. No one can get me. | |
| No one can get me. | |
| No one can get me. | |
| It's different. It's different. | |
| When you play on the street, it's different. | |
| It's different. You ain't gonna do shit. | |
| You ain't gonna do nothing. It's different on the streets. | |
| It's different when you play street rules. | |
| It's different I am built differently. | |
| Do you understand? What does UNO mean in Spanish? | |
| One. Exactly. | |
| I am number one at this game. | |
| You don't hear that. When you go out to the street, find the biggest gangster on the street, ask him about UNO, and what's he gonna say? | |
| Say part G. The G stands for UNO. You understand me? | |
| The G stands for UNO. Tactical pick-up. | |
| You don't know about them moves. | |
| Tactical pick up. | |
| G stands for UNO. I play street rules and I'm gonna win. | |
| When you're like me, did life in jail twice. | |
| When you've done life, sometimes life or death is decided with UNO games. | |
| It was me against the Mexican gang, against the Nazis, all the different races. | |
| I was there by myself. All the different colors. | |
| They had the blues, the yellows, they split it up by race. | |
| And I still won. With no colors. | |
| You understand? That's why you can't play greens against me. | |
| You can't play blues against me. | |
| Yellows and reds don't work. | |
| Okay. No greens against me. | |
| Because I was in jail for life twice. | |
| Because I murdered someone via Uno. | |
| I beat him at Uno so bad! | |
| Do you steal breath? Tristan's hungry. | |
| I'm not. I'm really full. | |
| Alex got none. Who else got none? | |
| Alex had one piece of fish. | |
| That's for you and Andrew. I think that's mission accomplished. | |
| It's one of the first times you actually did eat all the food before anyone else could get any. | |
| I don't know, it's to do the fish skin and the fucking shrimp tails. | |
| To those who don't know, what's our game? | |
| Tristan ate all the food as fast as he could while all the people were doing normal things like poured themselves a drink so that no one else could eat. | |
| And he thinks he's a winner. | |
| Skillership. That's why I survived in the wilderness and you wouldn't. | |
| What drink is it you're drinking? | |
| Motherfucker! I will strike down upon thee. | |
| Bring vengeance and furious anger. | |
| Those who attempt to slow and tame my drinking. | |
| Nice. Good feature. | |
| Come on, dork. Let's go. They can't be trusted. | |
| No. I'm just hijacking all of this away from all of you. | |
| Fuck off. Don't worry, just eat it. | |
| I'm having a party! | |
| Eat it, Alex. Eat it. | |
| Help me out! Why would we do this? | |
| Defeat Andrew. They're kids now. | |
| Can't do that. Five, 4, 3, 2, 1. | |
| Happy New Year! | |
| Nice. Can't see him. | |
| Off block! Mark to me! | |
| Mark to me, Andrew! Andrew, Mark to me! | |
| You can't do this! | |
| Lady, you're fucking it up! | |
| You're going right away! You don't understand! | |
| Dance! Andrew, you can't do this! | |
| You can't! I can't! | |
| No, you can't! You can't go to the shoulders, you can't go to the hands in the right place! | |
| Okay, he's got it, he's got it now. | |
| Youssef, you can't do this! | |
| No, Youssef, you are dance! | |
| No, you can't do this, Youssef! | |
| No, Algerians! Bailey's pure white! | |
| Bailey's the worst at this! The real world is officially now bigger than it has ever been. | |
|
The Real World Expands
00:01:11
|
|
| It is now larger than it has ever been at any point in recorded history. | |
| It was already huge. And then we went to jail. | |
| Then we came out and got bigger. | |
| And now most people understand that chaos is coming for everyone in 2024 and they need to get some money. | |
| They can't sit around and be a brokie anymore. | |
| And the school has beaten a new record and we are larger than we've ever been. | |
| What that means is there are more people learning how to free themselves from The Matrix than there have ever been before. | |
| So if you're sitting at home and you have not decided to join and learn how to escape from The Matrix, You now have more competition than you've ever had. | |
| There's more people taking up the spots who are going to jump into the wormhole to free themselves, and you're going to stay there like a broke peon. | |
| We get bigger and bigger, and I think the reason for that is because it's actually the only place you can learn things that matter, basically, in the world. | |
| If I were to say to you, go join a school where they're going to teach you things that matter, you're going to struggle because all you're going to end up doing is joining some liberal indoctrination camp, paying a bunch of money, learning a bunch of worthless crap, taking years to do it, get in debt. | |
| This is a position and this is a situation where you can sit down and say, I want to be taught the things I need to know to live a life worth living. | |
| It's going to cost you less than a pizza and you can do it from home. | |
| And for that reason, we continue to grow and it looks like we're going to be even more monumentally successful than even I had planned. | |