| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Peanut Butter and Cigarettes
00:08:51
|
|
| Andrew, you hungry? | |
| I'm making lunch. | |
| I never make lunch. | |
| So I've decided to be a good brother for once. | |
| You're going to eat exactly what I eat for lunch. | |
| It's nutritious and delicious. | |
| Here you go. Peanut butter and a pack of cigarettes. | |
| We're going to eat loads of peanut butter and smoke loads of cigarettes and that's going to be lunch today. | |
| Are you ready? If you were expecting some kind of complaint from me, you chose the wrong guy. | |
| This is perfectly fine. | |
| I'd consider this perfectly fine. | |
| What's in peanut butter? It must have some kind of protein. | |
| It's made of peanuts. It can't be that bad. | |
| This is fine. Tristan, this is fine. | |
| Peanut butter and cigarettes? This is better than fine. | |
| That's my new diet. I'm not eating anything else. | |
| You know what I wish we had? I wish we had bananas. | |
| So we take this peanut butter and put banana in it and make a shot of espresso and mix it all up. | |
| No bananas. It's against the rules. | |
| No espresso either. | |
| Peanut butter only. | |
| If you want to dilute it, you got cigarettes. | |
| It's hard to talk. | |
| Maybe you're working for The Matrix to shut me up. | |
| Part of my plan. Who likes crunchy peanut butter? | |
| Every normal human! | |
| No. | |
| Jesus Christ. | |
| ...qui me fait tourner dans la vie, la vie de tourner dans la vie, la vie de tourner dans la vie. | |
| Il me fait tourner dans la vie, la vie de tourner, tourner dans la vie, tourner dans la vie. | |
| Il me fait tourner. | |
| Okay, leg day. | |
| So, we're all here. | |
| We've got the mats on the floor. We've got the wine. | |
| We've got the tequila. We've got the peanut butter. | |
| We've got the cigarettes. We've got the lighter and the bottle opener. | |
| I think that's what we need to train legs, right? | |
| Yeah. These are the necessary items. | |
| So every 300 squats we do, we unlock a new achievement. | |
| Tequila shots, wine, smoking. | |
| Smoke hardens the muscles in your legs. | |
| And wine is a natural painkiller to help you fight through the difficult spots. | |
| Exactly. And we have also electrolytes. | |
| Those aren't as important as the wine. | |
| I mean electrolytes. | |
| Alex is always health conscious. | |
| Yeah, so am I. | |
| Let's do it. | |
| Good. | |
| Nice jump. | |
| 50 done. | |
| Only 950 more to go. | |
| No, I get a wine bike after 300. | |
| Hold that. | |
| Three, two, one, go. | |
| One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. | |
| Would that be a better angle? | |
| On top of the stair machine? | |
| I'll try that next time. | |
| Three, two, one, go. | |
| One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. | |
| I'll try that next time. | |
| I'll do it. | |
| Okay. | |
| Prepare. | |
| Three, two, one, go. | |
| Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, Woo! | |
| Breathe, relax. | |
| And that's Bible verses, right on the ball. | |
| So give us extra strength. | |
| Although it is in Romanian, so... | |
| Only 200 more to go. | |
| We've unlocked the booze! | |
| Wine unlocked. That's how you train properly. | |
| Christian wine from a monastery with Bible verses written on it. | |
| For the Lord is my strength. | |
| I heard wine is a very refreshing drink after you squat. | |
| What? | |
| Ah Ah. | |
| Ah. | |
| RAAAWR! | |
| Hey guys. Here you go. | |
| Nice. Refreshing. Come on Alex. | |
| Thank you very much. | |
| you Nice. That's a good wine. | |
| Bro, it's powerful. It doesn't even taste like wine. | |
| It's because it's not wine, it's port. | |
| That's stronger than wine. And he's looking at us all with his haram face. | |
| For the next set. | |
| Labor in the name of our Lord. | |
| Okay, we have to do a hundred lunges after a thousand squats. | |
| We're not even halfway. Thanks for reminding us. | |
| How are you feeling now? | |
| Wonderful. I'll have a cigarette. | |
| I'll be perfect. | |
| Andrew, how are you feeling? I'm going to take that as medium. | |
| Alex feels great as usual. | |
| Yeah, thank you. He's the wife. | |
| He's the wife. You should talk about yourself. | |
| The pain's starting now, so this is probably where it all begins. | |
| We've unlocked cigarettes for our 400 squats. | |
| Ready? Next step? Okay, let's go. | |
| One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. | |
| One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, twenty. | |
| How is it? | |
| One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, twenty. | |
| 14, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. | |
| Ooh, hard set. I wouldn't have been able to get through it without a cigarette. | |
| It was good watching you do that in a distractor. | |
| Achievement unlocked! | |
| 600 squats. | |
| To refresh and rejuvenate ourselves. | |
| of old Uncle Jose. | |
| Ah, there we go. | |
| Extra delicious. | |
| Extra delicious? Extra. | |
| I'll be the judge. Extra delicious. | |
| You can't keep a straight face and say extra delicious. | |
| Yes, I can. Yes, I can. | |
| No, no electrolytes. | |
| Electrolytes are cheating. Read it. | |
| Trust you. Trust you? | |
| I want the world to know that I hired this man to be my expert nutritionist. | |
| And I throw his electrolytes across the room and drink tequila in training instead. | |
| Exactly. Well, I'm a true professional. | |
| Exactly. Good thing not to eat at all. | |
| No. Not till after. | |
| I had tequila. Drink your wine. | |
| I'm your nutritionist. | |
| Okay. Now we're talking. | |
| Two minutes and a hundred lunges. | |
| How do you feel after a thousand? | |
| Easy. Easy? | |
| I didn't smoke enough. | |
| Struggled a bit at the end, but I didn't have enough wine. | |
| Good point. Amateur mistake. | |
| Do you know what PT stands for? | |
| I would just say I need to get my PT session in this morning. | |
| What would I be talking about? Peanut butter, tequila. | |
| That's how I train. We have to smile, Lisa. What do you call this? | |
|
Lucy's Cheese Adventure
00:02:34
|
|
| What do they ask you about them? | |
| We should find the beauty of life. | |
| What do you say about them? | |
| We can't stand to connect, but it's ok. | |
| When we get out of the car, we might need to... | |
| ...change the tape. | |
| Get a selfie of me. | |
| Get a picture of me and Lucy, my friend Lucy. | |
| Of course! You're a famous journalist, I would love a photo. | |
| You're a famous journalist, I would love a photo. | |
| Say cheese! | |
| Say cheese! Say cheese, my friend Lucy. | |
| Got it? I got it. The man is not a walk in the park. | |
| It's like a video game. You start from absolute nothing. | |
| You start from zero. You have no intrinsic value. | |
|
Level Up Your Skills
00:00:59
|
|
| It's up to you to level up your skills. | |
| You work on your fitness, your fighting skills. | |
| You work on your finance. | |
| You make sure you become important. | |
| You have to do something so you're not just the average Joe Smoe. | |
| You have to do something to become a force to be reckoned. | |
| You're capable of defending yourself and your family and carving out a reality which is worth living in the world today. | |
| You grind, you hustle, you build your money-making skills until you're not just getting by with a 9-to-5 boss telling you what to do. | |
| You become rich and influential. | |
| You become a real player in the game of life. | |
| You start this game solo, but you can't win it alone. | |
| You need a team, a crew that's got your back who pushes you to be better. | |
| No one in history has ever achieved anything important by themselves. | |
| Every fighter had a coach. | |
| If you went to the moon, NASA was on the ground. | |
| You always had somebody supporting you. | |
| You had them be part of the team. | |
| As the levels of the video game progress, you need higher attributes. | |
| You need better qualities of your character to succeed and pass the levels, and life is absolutely no different. | |
| You do not have time to waste. | |
| You must increase the capability of your character. | |
| You must become a better version of yourself because the game is only going to become harder. | |