| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Belarusian Binge
00:11:17
|
|
| Good shot there from Tate! | |
| A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true. | |
| I'm not sure if that's true. | |
| Nice. Ooh, sick boy on the pit. | |
| I'm gonna get some beds, might get some boxes. | |
| I'm gonna counter-punch him, he'll fall for Sink or Two-Ton Tornado. | |
| There's two countries open. | |
| I've confirmed clubs and bars are open in two places in Europe. | |
| Minsk, Belarus, Stockholm, Sweden. | |
| I say we go to Belarus. The only problem with Belarus is there's a 14-day self-quarantine. | |
| So we'll just go in, pretend we're in a self-quarantine, get booze, start drinking, go straight to the club. | |
| Same day. Uh-huh. | |
| If I got sent to jail in Sweden for violating some sort of curfew, that's fine. | |
| You. You. | |
| Especially you. Even me. | |
| None of us want to go to a Belarusian jail. | |
| And Belarus hate foreigners. | |
| They say, hey, let me see your passport. | |
| They will... | |
| They're itching to find some foreign idiot out with their fucking quarantine papers on them. | |
| They're itching for it. | |
| And don't even pretend that you're done. | |
| Okay. Well, that leaves us one option, which is Stockholm, Sweden. | |
| And is Stockholm as good as Bucharest? | |
| No. But Bucharest is fucking closed. | |
| So we go there. And we go there for a very important reason. | |
| I'm a revolutionary figure. | |
| I'm like the kind of guys who used to fucking overthrow governments. | |
| The American Revolutionary War, the Tea Party. | |
| That's me. I'm not doing this dumb shit where some Romanian is going to say, you must stay in your house. | |
| And all the Romanians will start going, the virus. | |
| And I'll start sitting in their house, and I'll text all my hoes, I'm not allowed to leave the house, and then I go out today in the Porsche, like a G, hitting the streets against curfew, and the police are running around looking at me like trying to chase me down and shit. | |
| This is garbage! I need to leave the country, drink loads and loads of booze in Stockholm, then come back, and at least then I feel like I've won. | |
| They told me to stay in my house, I went and parked in Stockholm when I came home. | |
| Then I have some kind of victory. | |
| I can't live this way. | |
| We have to go. They'll definitely let us back in. | |
| Definitely. So we're going to Sweden. | |
| T? I've already signed a declaration, so I'm probably risking going jail. | |
| But I don't care. I'm often risking it. | |
| I think you're fine, bro. You're going out the country. | |
| They're going to move me from quarantine into what? | |
| Another quarantine. Yeah, the only thing is we'll let us back in. | |
| But of course they have to let me back in. | |
| Do fly for corona. I'll put on nice clothes at the airport. | |
| Done. Stockholm, Sweden. | |
| Five-star hotel. | |
| Rent landlords. Show these fucking nerds how flexing's done. | |
| Are you in or not? | |
| I'm out-voted. | |
| Nice. That's an it. | |
| Go to Stockholm. | |
| Go to Stockholm. | |
| Go to Stockholm! | |
| I've tried to escape Romania. | |
| Every country's on lockdown. | |
| It's quarantine bullshit. | |
| You can't go anywhere. | |
| Complete lockdown. | |
| We're stuck on our houses. | |
| I can't drive. | |
| I've got two million dollars of cars I can't even drive. | |
| True. I'm tired of this. | |
| I'm in jail. This is bullshit. | |
| Yeah, but think. There's people quarantining in one-bed flats. | |
| They've got nothing. They've got maybe, what, Wi-Fi. | |
| You've got a gym, a pool, a jacuzzi, fucking loads of stuff to play on. | |
| You've got a cigar room. | |
| It's true. These are all true. | |
| This is the worst jail ever. | |
| It's not the worst jail ever. This is all true. | |
| There's people in fucking Luton who can't even go and get bread. | |
| We've got steaks delivered to the house. | |
| There is worse things happening. | |
| This is like a drug kingpin's jail. | |
| I feel sorry. It's barely a jail. | |
| This is like Pablo Escobar's jail. | |
| I'm unhappy with my current situation. | |
| Girls come in! | |
| It's very much a kingpin's jail. | |
| Lose space. You either jump in the pool with me, or you have another drink. | |
| Jump. Drink? | |
| Yes. Alright, let's go. | |
| Alright, let's do it. So you'd rather jump in the pool than have a drink with Tristan? | |
| I'd rather jump in the freezing cold. | |
| Out of the jacuzzi. | |
| A 36 degree jacuzzi. | |
| Whoa! Fuck my... | |
| I'm censoring out my dick, because it's going to be small. | |
| It's going to be small. | |
| So you just jumped out of this, into there, rather than have a drink with Tristan. | |
| Yes. Why? | |
| Why, Luke? Is that not sword? | |
| Luke, hold the camera. | |
| Luke, we're on. Your turn. | |
| Recording. Shit! It's your turn to roll, Ron. | |
| My turn to what? It's your turn to jump! | |
| Jump at the fucking pool, bro. | |
| Hold on. Let me just get this right. | |
| You want me to jump out of a 36 degree jacuzzi into a fucking 6 degree pool. | |
| Exactly. Yes. | |
| Can I wear the hat? No. | |
| Yes. Yes. | |
| You can wear the hat. Fuck. | |
| I just want you to know it's cold. | |
| Fuck it! We take the fight for free! | |
| I can't... I can't... I'm not that high! | |
| It's the last of that! | |
| What was that? | |
| But that is not fucking cool! | |
| That is not cool! | |
| That is cold! I'm using a hat to send it out of my penis. | |
| This is painful bro! | |
| I could have got out through that but I know Luke steals it. | |
| Okay, now this is painful. | |
| Yep, yep, now it's the burning. | |
| A nice burn. | |
| Oh. Well. | |
| Quarantine. Okay. | |
| We're going to Sweden. | |
| Sweden? Why Sweden? | |
| Sweden is the most boring place in the universe. | |
| However, right now it's the funnest place on the planet. | |
| It's the only place that's still open. | |
| Nightclubs are closed, but Swedish nightclubs suck anyway. | |
| Restaurants and bars are still open. | |
| So the Swedish people have done the same thing we've done. | |
| Said, coronavirus isn't real. | |
| Fuck it. We're not scared. | |
| So, we've got special permissions and paperwork to leave our house to get to the airport. | |
| So we can fly to Sweden. | |
| You have to come with us. | |
| So you pack. | |
| 10 different currencies. | |
| But only for 25,000 euro. | |
| You just drop them. Pack. | |
| It's wrong. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Completely empty. | |
| This is the middle of the dishwasher house by the way. | |
| This is wash out by the way. | |
| Yep. The flight rush hour. | |
| One second, there's nobody here. | |
| Listen. It's just you and me. | |
| What do you know about Chris DeBerg, Lady in Red? | |
| You don't know about this song. | |
| You're too dumb. Can't even gamble. | |
| Can't even gamble. Wow, literally no one. Too fly for Corona. | |
| where's the virus let's say everyone's going the same spot we are really | |
| it looks like maybe a private terminal private jets No clue. We'll find out. | |
| Yeah, well, it's not probably the main thing. | |
| And you look like... | |
| You look like a kid. | |
| No, you do. | |
| You do. | |
| This is the shittest airport. | |
| Bucharest airport, sorry. | |
| Bucharest is Romanians. | |
| This is Stockholm's airport? | |
| I can't believe it. But they were rich. | |
| I thought this was their capital. | |
| Maybe that's why there were a bunch of Romanians on the plane. | |
| There were Romanians on the plane. Why? | |
| You don't realize why eating this annoys me. | |
| Right now. Right from the Orient. | |
| Yeah. Who would that bother you? | |
| Look at Europe right now. | |
| Who do you think started this? | |
| Whose fault do you think this is? | |