| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Brother's Car Heist
00:09:09
|
|
| Good shot there from Tate! | |
| A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true. | |
| But I'm not a girl. | |
| I'm a girl. | |
| you Ahhhh! | |
| Can you miss me? | |
| Luxembourg is a failed society! | |
| The end of the first part. | |
| It's not that easy. | |
| It's not that easy. | |
| I... | |
| Today, my brother stole a car. | |
| He stole a car from Switzerland and he made me drive it across two international borders to Luxembourg. | |
| And now I don't know what he's gonna do. | |
| I didn't steal a car. | |
| I rented a car from Geneva Airport. | |
| And they told me that all the convertibles have to be returned to Geneva. | |
| Cannot return them anywhere else in Europe because they need the convertibles in Switzerland. | |
| I don't know why people have to drive around the Alps with a convertible. | |
| So when I rented the car, I told them I'd return to the airport. | |
| I decided to change my mind and decided I had to come here to Luxembourg. | |
| I called 6th and told them I was going to come to Luxembourg. | |
| They said, that's not allowed. | |
| I said, well, what happens if I do it? | |
| They said, you can't do that. | |
| You have to return to Geneva. | |
| That's technically stealing. It's not stealing the car if I give them the car back. | |
| So I'm going to drive to 6th in Luxembourg. | |
| I'm going to hand them the keys. | |
| I'm going to walk out. And then I can't get arrested for stealing because I ain't got the car. | |
| I've given it back to the company. Perhaps in the wrong place, but I still give it back. | |
| And they arrest you, I will laugh. No one can do shit to me. | |
| I'm the underboss of this I've seen you get arrested. I'm an international criminal. | |
| I've seen you get arrested plenty of times. | |
| Listen, sixth fucking rental car are like a conglomerate. | |
| They're huge. They've got from America to fucking Hong Kong. | |
| I've moved their car from Geneva to Luxembourg. | |
| I'm sure they'll negotiate the situation and get it back. | |
| Fuck them. I fucking tried to be reasonable on the phone and said, no, I'm dropping off in Luxembourg. | |
| You can't, you can't. | |
| Like, bitch, I can do what the fuck I want. | |
| I don't listen to women. Well, we're not driving back. | |
| I don't listen to the women I have sex with. | |
| So why am I going to listen to the woman on the phone? | |
| Some idiot, on minimum wage, trying to control my life. | |
| You can be a 10 out of 10 beauty queen with big ass titties and you can't control my life. | |
| I'm going to listen to the fucking whoopee who won't even suck me off. | |
| No thanks. I have a bad feeling that the, uh, office is in the airport. | |
| Well, it's an adventure at least. | |
| Now, do we have anything in this car? | |
| They're trying to hide from me. | |
| They're hiding with a staff. | |
| And they're reprimanding. They're about to receive. | |
| They're not hiding. I think it's your car from Sucson in my truck, please. | |
| Why? Don't you physically hold me? | |
| The only bet it would take to physically hold the box out of this is the key box. | |
| Why don't we just put the keys in the key box on the left? | |
| It's an option. It just feels like I want to confront them and tell them what I did. | |
| What about stairs? | |
| Good idea. | |
| She knew the box. | |
| I'm after her. | |
| I scared you, Andrew. | |
| They ran away. | |
| What kind of bullshit comes from you? | |
| They're afraid of me. | |
| What about that man actually wanted to run the fucking car? | |
| They knew all about the television. | |
| They're pussies. | |
| They knew I was about to tell them. I stole your car from Switzerland, but I'm giving it to you so you can't call the police. | |
| They should be open. Keybox. | |
| Buckle. You can't put the fucking keys in the keybox. | |
| Keys in the keybox in the wrong country. | |
| Banned sixth from accessing money to my bank. | |
| Never do business with them again. Let's go. | |
| Keybox. Thank you. | |
| Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. | |
| Thank you! You're welcome. | |
| Oh, we broke into one of those. | |
| Here we go. | |
| Key box. | |
| Thank you. | |
| you you Cheer six. | |
| Weird fucking car. | |
| I'm gonna die here. | |
| Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss. | |
| Do you miss me? | |
| English only. | |
| So today my brother got fucked. | |
| What he did was he thought he was clever and wanted to get a t-shirt and a pair of pants washed. | |
| So he took a taxi to the laundromat yesterday, dropped it off, and the taxi back. | |
| 100 euros. 18 euros to get the clothes washed. | |
| Then did the same taxi one today. | |
| 218 euros to wash like 50 euros worth of clothes. | |
| He could have just bought the fucking clothes again. | |
| It's ridiculous. And he's not even ashamed of himself. | |
| He's pretending it's a good thing. | |
| Terrible. My brother's wrong. | |
| Luxembourg is actually officially the most expensive place I've ever been. | |
| Here's my taxi receipt. | |
| It's 72 euro to go 6 kilometers, which is about 10 minutes to the laundromat. | |
| It's 72 euro to come back, and it was 18 euro to wash it, and then I'd go collect it again, which was 72 euro, and 72 euro to come back. | |
| So we can do that math off the top of my head. | |
| What's 72 times 4? | |
| Really? 144? Come on. | |
| No, that's 72 times 2. That's 72 times 4. | |
| 288. 288 plus 20. | |
| So it's cost me 308 euros to wash a t-shirt and a pair of trousers that cost me maybe 40 euros. | |
| Not including the drinks we've had here, the coffees. | |
| We had dinner. We didn't do anything extravagant. | |
| But in total, including hotel rooms, I've spent 6,000 euros in two days in Luxembourg. | |
| Just sleeping, eating, and washing some clothes. | |
| You can accuse him of being with girls. | |
| Most of the time you're right. | |
| But this time you're wrong. This girl he did not see. | |
| Then why is she told me that they are together? | |
| Because everyone wants to be with a Tate. | |
| It's normal. Every girl wants to be with the king. | |
| No, not everyone. Yeah, everyone. | |
| Oh, not everyone. She's acting bad while she's here in my hotel room having sex with me. | |
| Exactly. Just like... | |
| Last night it was... | |
| I didn't say this. | |
| So no, this girl he didn't do. | |
| No, he's innocent. This girl, no. | |
| Okay, I trust him. Thank you. | |
| I will never speak to you again. | |
| I'm sorry, baby. Yeah, you're fucking right, you're sorry. | |
| There we go. Vindication. | |
| That's how you do it, Mike. Do you know what I mean? | |
| Because I told you if I fucked her, I would say, yeah, I fucked her. | |
| Up the ass, upside down, doggy style, on the floor. | |
| I would tell you everything. I never fucked her. | |
| I met her twice. Proved it. I said, how many times do we meet? | |
| Only two? She was like, I think yes, haha, but we didn't sleep. | |
| I know it 100%. | |
| I said, I know it too. | |
| Fish? Yes. | |
| She's just mad though. | |
| She's apologizing, but she's mad that she's wrong. | |
| Isn't that crazy? Because she told me you were with six? | |
| Mike told me he fucked your mom. | |
| Six months? | |
| Yeah. Mike told me he fucked your mom 20 years ago, so he might be your dad. | |
| Daddy Mike. You've got to call him Big Daddy Mike. | |
| Big Daddy Mike. Yeah, Big Daddy Mike. | |
| I don't care what people say. | |
| This is women. Okay, if you don't care, then why? | |
| No, this is a lesson about women. This is a lesson about women, let me tell you. | |
| If this girl said, yes, Tristan, you fucked me, she would be happy that she's right. | |
| I didn't fuck her and she's angry because she's wrong. | |
| She's angry I did not fuck this girl. | |
| Here's the answer. Next time I'll fuck her. | |
| Every time she says, did you fuck this girl, fuck them. | |
| Okay, next time you say, did you fuck this girl, if I didn't, I will fuck them first. | |
| Then you're always right, baby. | |
| Four of them. Then you're always right. | |
| Yeah. You're mad that I didn't fuck her because you're wrong and I'm right. | |
| Is that how women are? These people, I'm glad our relationship doesn't have these problems. | |
|
SuperCar Rally Rage
00:01:30
|
|
| Me and you, we're different. | |
| We don't have none of these issues, do we, baby? | |
| I don't fuck you. Except for the pool above. | |
| Then things change. I don't want to be near you. | |
| Oh, baby. | |
| That's not what you do at night. | |
| At night, do you know what she does? She attacks me. | |
| Koala bears me. I can't even move. | |
| I can't even breathe. | |
| Today is different than yesterday. | |
| Oh, okay. | |
| We'll leave it at that. | |
| La la la la la. | |
| It's the one and only D.C. Double G. | |
| The reason we're even in Luxembourg in the first place is because this is where a supercar rally begins. | |
| Now every fucking year, Andrew drags me on one of these stupid supercar rallies where we start in one city and go somewhere else in Europe. | |
| This one we've actually helped organize and ends in Bucharest. | |
| But if you don't know this about me, I have had three serious car crashes in my life. | |
| One almost killed me, and one permanently injured my shoulder and finished my kickboxing career. | |
| So I am a nervous passenger. | |
| I fucking hate sitting in cars when I'm not driving them myself. | |
| So me and Andrew have decided on this supercar rally that we're gonna flip a coin for who drives at every single stop. | |
| I better be driving or I'm gonna be complaining a fucking lot. | |
| Huh? Huh? | |