Brother's Car Heist
00:09:09
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Good shot there from Tate!
► 00:00:03
A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
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But I'm not a girl.
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I'm a girl.
► 00:00:37
you Ahhhh!
► 00:00:42
Can you miss me?
► 00:00:45
Luxembourg is a failed society!
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The end of the first part.
► 00:00:50
It's not that easy.
► 00:00:52
It's not that easy.
► 00:00:54
I...
► 00:00:56
Today, my brother stole a car.
► 00:01:05
He stole a car from Switzerland and he made me drive it across two international borders to Luxembourg.
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And now I don't know what he's gonna do.
► 00:01:12
I didn't steal a car.
► 00:01:14
I rented a car from Geneva Airport.
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And they told me that all the convertibles have to be returned to Geneva.
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Cannot return them anywhere else in Europe because they need the convertibles in Switzerland.
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I don't know why people have to drive around the Alps with a convertible.
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So when I rented the car, I told them I'd return to the airport.
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I decided to change my mind and decided I had to come here to Luxembourg.
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I called 6th and told them I was going to come to Luxembourg.
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They said, that's not allowed.
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I said, well, what happens if I do it?
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They said, you can't do that.
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You have to return to Geneva.
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That's technically stealing. It's not stealing the car if I give them the car back.
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So I'm going to drive to 6th in Luxembourg.
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I'm going to hand them the keys.
► 00:01:48
I'm going to walk out. And then I can't get arrested for stealing because I ain't got the car.
► 00:01:51
I've given it back to the company. Perhaps in the wrong place, but I still give it back.
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And they arrest you, I will laugh. No one can do shit to me.
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I'm the underboss of this I've seen you get arrested. I'm an international criminal.
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I've seen you get arrested plenty of times.
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Listen, sixth fucking rental car are like a conglomerate.
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They're huge. They've got from America to fucking Hong Kong.
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I've moved their car from Geneva to Luxembourg.
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I'm sure they'll negotiate the situation and get it back.
► 00:02:25
Fuck them. I fucking tried to be reasonable on the phone and said, no, I'm dropping off in Luxembourg.
► 00:02:30
You can't, you can't.
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Like, bitch, I can do what the fuck I want.
► 00:02:32
I don't listen to women. Well, we're not driving back.
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I don't listen to the women I have sex with.
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So why am I going to listen to the woman on the phone?
► 00:02:40
Some idiot, on minimum wage, trying to control my life.
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You can be a 10 out of 10 beauty queen with big ass titties and you can't control my life.
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I'm going to listen to the fucking whoopee who won't even suck me off.
► 00:02:53
No thanks. I have a bad feeling that the, uh, office is in the airport.
► 00:03:04
Well, it's an adventure at least.
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Now, do we have anything in this car?
► 00:03:09
They're trying to hide from me.
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They're hiding with a staff.
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And they're reprimanding. They're about to receive.
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They're not hiding. I think it's your car from Sucson in my truck, please.
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Why? Don't you physically hold me?
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The only bet it would take to physically hold the box out of this is the key box.
► 00:03:26
Why don't we just put the keys in the key box on the left?
► 00:03:31
It's an option. It just feels like I want to confront them and tell them what I did.
► 00:03:36
What about stairs?
► 00:03:38
Good idea.
► 00:03:39
She knew the box.
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I'm after her.
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I scared you, Andrew.
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They ran away.
► 00:03:58
What kind of bullshit comes from you?
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They're afraid of me.
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What about that man actually wanted to run the fucking car?
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They knew all about the television.
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They're pussies.
► 00:04:14
They knew I was about to tell them. I stole your car from Switzerland, but I'm giving it to you so you can't call the police.
► 00:04:18
They should be open. Keybox.
► 00:04:22
Buckle. You can't put the fucking keys in the keybox.
► 00:04:26
Keys in the keybox in the wrong country.
► 00:04:27
Banned sixth from accessing money to my bank.
► 00:04:31
Never do business with them again. Let's go.
► 00:04:35
Keybox. Thank you.
► 00:04:42
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
► 00:04:48
Thank you! You're welcome.
► 00:04:50
Oh, we broke into one of those.
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Here we go.
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Key box.
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Thank you.
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you you Cheer six.
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Weird fucking car.
► 00:05:28
I'm gonna die here.
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Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss.
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Do you miss me?
► 00:05:36
English only.
► 00:05:42
So today my brother got fucked.
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What he did was he thought he was clever and wanted to get a t-shirt and a pair of pants washed.
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So he took a taxi to the laundromat yesterday, dropped it off, and the taxi back.
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100 euros. 18 euros to get the clothes washed.
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Then did the same taxi one today.
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218 euros to wash like 50 euros worth of clothes.
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He could have just bought the fucking clothes again.
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It's ridiculous. And he's not even ashamed of himself.
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He's pretending it's a good thing.
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Terrible. My brother's wrong.
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Luxembourg is actually officially the most expensive place I've ever been.
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Here's my taxi receipt.
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It's 72 euro to go 6 kilometers, which is about 10 minutes to the laundromat.
► 00:06:22
It's 72 euro to come back, and it was 18 euro to wash it, and then I'd go collect it again, which was 72 euro, and 72 euro to come back.
► 00:06:29
So we can do that math off the top of my head.
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What's 72 times 4?
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Really? 144? Come on.
► 00:06:34
No, that's 72 times 2. That's 72 times 4.
► 00:06:36
288. 288 plus 20.
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So it's cost me 308 euros to wash a t-shirt and a pair of trousers that cost me maybe 40 euros.
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Not including the drinks we've had here, the coffees.
► 00:06:49
We had dinner. We didn't do anything extravagant.
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But in total, including hotel rooms, I've spent 6,000 euros in two days in Luxembourg.
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Just sleeping, eating, and washing some clothes.
► 00:07:00
You can accuse him of being with girls.
► 00:07:03
Most of the time you're right.
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But this time you're wrong. This girl he did not see.
► 00:07:07
Then why is she told me that they are together?
► 00:07:10
Because everyone wants to be with a Tate.
► 00:07:12
It's normal. Every girl wants to be with the king.
► 00:07:15
No, not everyone. Yeah, everyone.
► 00:07:17
Oh, not everyone. She's acting bad while she's here in my hotel room having sex with me.
► 00:07:21
Exactly. Just like...
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Last night it was...
► 00:07:28
I didn't say this.
► 00:07:32
So no, this girl he didn't do.
► 00:07:34
No, he's innocent. This girl, no.
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Okay, I trust him. Thank you.
► 00:07:38
I will never speak to you again.
► 00:07:39
I'm sorry, baby. Yeah, you're fucking right, you're sorry.
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There we go. Vindication.
► 00:07:44
That's how you do it, Mike. Do you know what I mean?
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Because I told you if I fucked her, I would say, yeah, I fucked her.
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Up the ass, upside down, doggy style, on the floor.
► 00:07:52
I would tell you everything. I never fucked her.
► 00:07:54
I met her twice. Proved it. I said, how many times do we meet?
► 00:07:58
Only two? She was like, I think yes, haha, but we didn't sleep.
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I know it 100%.
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I said, I know it too.
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Fish? Yes.
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She's just mad though.
► 00:08:09
She's apologizing, but she's mad that she's wrong.
► 00:08:11
Isn't that crazy? Because she told me you were with six?
► 00:08:14
Mike told me he fucked your mom.
► 00:08:16
Six months?
► 00:08:18
Yeah. Mike told me he fucked your mom 20 years ago, so he might be your dad.
► 00:08:25
Daddy Mike. You've got to call him Big Daddy Mike.
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Big Daddy Mike. Yeah, Big Daddy Mike.
► 00:08:30
I don't care what people say.
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This is women. Okay, if you don't care, then why?
► 00:08:35
No, this is a lesson about women. This is a lesson about women, let me tell you.
► 00:08:39
If this girl said, yes, Tristan, you fucked me, she would be happy that she's right.
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I didn't fuck her and she's angry because she's wrong.
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She's angry I did not fuck this girl.
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Here's the answer. Next time I'll fuck her.
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Every time she says, did you fuck this girl, fuck them.
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Okay, next time you say, did you fuck this girl, if I didn't, I will fuck them first.
► 00:09:01
Then you're always right, baby.
► 00:09:02
Four of them. Then you're always right.
► 00:09:03
Yeah. You're mad that I didn't fuck her because you're wrong and I'm right.
► 00:09:07
Is that how women are? These people, I'm glad our relationship doesn't have these problems.
SuperCar Rally Rage
00:01:30
► 00:09:11
Me and you, we're different.
► 00:09:12
We don't have none of these issues, do we, baby?
► 00:09:16
I don't fuck you. Except for the pool above.
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Then things change. I don't want to be near you.
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Oh, baby.
► 00:09:24
That's not what you do at night.
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At night, do you know what she does? She attacks me.
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Koala bears me. I can't even move.
► 00:09:30
I can't even breathe.
► 00:09:31
Today is different than yesterday.
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Oh, okay.
► 00:09:34
We'll leave it at that.
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La la la la la.
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It's the one and only D.C. Double G.
► 00:09:39
The reason we're even in Luxembourg in the first place is because this is where a supercar rally begins.
► 00:09:45
Now every fucking year, Andrew drags me on one of these stupid supercar rallies where we start in one city and go somewhere else in Europe.
► 00:09:52
This one we've actually helped organize and ends in Bucharest.
► 00:09:55
But if you don't know this about me, I have had three serious car crashes in my life.
► 00:10:00
One almost killed me, and one permanently injured my shoulder and finished my kickboxing career.
► 00:10:05
So I am a nervous passenger.
► 00:10:07
I fucking hate sitting in cars when I'm not driving them myself.
► 00:10:11
So me and Andrew have decided on this supercar rally that we're gonna flip a coin for who drives at every single stop.
► 00:10:17
I better be driving or I'm gonna be complaining a fucking lot.
► 00:10:37
Huh? Huh?