Right, I keep getting people complaining about the echo on my videos.
But, I can't help that I live in such a fucking big house.
I mean, this is only one of my houses.
But, what the fuck do you want me to do?
The roof's high.
Not my fucking fault.
Buy a microphone!
Listen, I'm assuming, if you're watching my channel, that you're competent.
This is not a channel for women.
This is not no female shit.
You're all full-grown men.
So you're gonna listen up.
If it's a little bit echoey, there's fuck all I can do besides move into a smaller house, which I don't really want to do.
So... And if you don't understand something, you can rewind it and just fucking listen.
That's the first thing.
Second thing people are complaining about... I keep getting hate mail.
You're dressed, you're supposed to be rich.
Why are you dressed like that?
Because I've just been at the gym.
The fuck?
How am I supposed to dress?
Besides, these are Trump pants.
I bought these in Trump Tower.
Trump.
Gonna fucking make America great again.
Boom.
Told you I spent five grand there.
As for this t-shirt, I made this myself.
This is custom made.
Someone's beefing me on Twitter.
A coney.
Who remembers Kony?
That was like the first video to ever go super viral.
Who remembers Kony 2012?
And it went super big by that fucking weirdo guy who ended up getting caught wanking in public.
I think that's true.
Let's find the news article.
We'll put it in here.
He made the Kony video to complain about Kony and then ended up getting caught wanking in a public place.
He's a fucking creep.
And he was like, we're going to cover the night with Kony.
I remember something, cover the night.
On this day, we're going to walk around and put posters everywhere.
And like, no one did it.
But the video went viral.
And the reason I got this t-shirt made is because I have a lot of respect for Kony.
Now, I know, okay, he's a warlord.
Whatever, whatever.
But Kony is a G. Because Kony reminds me of myself.
I'll tell you why.
There have been times in my life when everyone was out to get me.
I said depression wasn't real.
I was on the news.
I was doing radio interviews.
I was fucking every celebrity on Twitter.
The bitch from Game of Thrones, J.K.
Rowling, Piers Morgan.
Everyone was out to get me.
I didn't give a fuck.
And the only other person I've ever seen like that is Kony.
Imagine you're in the jungle.
You're a warlord.
The Civil War has been going on for 30 years and the international community has never given a fuck ever.
And then one day, some dickhead makes a YouTube video Ends up being the biggest YouTube video of all time.
And Obama starts talking about you.
And the UN Court of Human Rights starts talking about you.
And all these first world nations start discussing you.
Obama literally said, after that video, we're going to catch Kony.
So for 30 years, you're in the jungle fighting your war.
No one gives a fuck.
One day, you're the most wanted man in the world.
I don't care what jungle you're in.
You're chilling in the jungle, whatever.
But at some point, one of your generals is going to come over to you.
I'm going to do my African accent now.
I don't know if I can do it without laughing.
Coney!
They want to arrest us.
And you'll be like, what do you mean they want to arrest us?
What the fuck?
No one cares about this war.
And he'll show you a video on YouTube of Obama saying they're coming to get you.
That's pressure, bro.
Everything was fine.
Now everyone wants to get you, Obama wants to get you, whatever.
And then I remember, and the reason I got this t-shirt made is because I remember watching some bitch who I've never heard of, some girl, some bureaucrat from somewhere, who, I don't know her name, was speaking at the UN Court of Human Rights saying that if Comey hands himself in, that they're going to give him a plea bargain and all this bullshit.
Hand yourself in, we'll do you a deal.
So they would have said to Kony, look, if you give yourself up now, everyone wants to get you now, Kony.
Everyone's out to get you, you're fucked.
But if you give yourself up now, we'll go easy on you.
And you know what Kony did?
He sat there and went, he'll blow over.
Fuck him.
That takes some balls.
When Obama's trying to get you and you're like, eh, fuck it.
Don't worry about it.
Just carry on getting child slaves and raiding villages.
Obama?
Who's Obama?
Fuck him.
He's a loser.
And he just sat there going, it'll blow over.
And I'm sure his generals are like, this is not going to blow over, Kony.
They're going to really come for us.
They've got international support.
The country's going to get money, guns, armies.
They fucking just blew up Afghanistan and Iraq.
They're coming for us.
Nah, fuck them.
And he just sat in his jungle, chilling with his child army, sitting around with his AK, being a warlord.
Here we are, 2018.
Have we caught Kony?
No.
He's still out there, still doing his thing, still being a G, because he didn't back down like a little pussy.
Everyone was out to get him and he thought, fuck you, I don't care.
And I thought, I'm the same.
Me and Kony were like this.
I'm exactly the same.
I'm an expert at not giving a fuck.
Everyone came for me, I didn't give a fuck, so they gave up.
If I would have apologized, they would have come to me forever.
Never let it go.
But they realized that I don't surrender, so they're like, okay, we'll find an easy target.
I don't apologize, I don't give in.
And neither does my boy Kony.
And that's why I wear Kony t-shirts.
Take shinkai.net.
The products on there, every single one of them is absolutely top quality.
We have the PhD course, which is guaranteed to change your perspective and change your dynamics with women.
If you want more women, get the PhD course.
My fitness program, I don't go to the gym.
I stay in perfect condition with 30 minutes of exercise a day from home.
The fitness program allows you to stay in shape, without messing around, without driving to the gym, in the comfort of your own home for 30 minutes a day.
The chess program, you need to understand why chess must be mastered.
And if you don't understand, watch the chess video.
As for the t-shirts, mugs, everything else, there's nothing better than walking around with a Tate t-shirt on and one knows you're not a bitch.