Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about lesbian chauffeurs to heaven, unique monthly challenges, and why being an American isn’t a passive thing. He also reminisces on 2025 and responds to some of your voicemails.
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Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine
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This Past Weekend
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Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers
Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/
Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/
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You know, recently, um, I realized how much incredible drive it takes to be a small business owner, to create something here and want to see it thrive and see it through the little stair steps along the way.
You know, there's a company called Crippling Hot Sauce that I learned about.
There's another called Chucker Cherries that I learned about right here in America.
They're made.
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We got a bunch of vibey hats now on the site, on the website here.
If you're looking for them, we got that two-tone gang gang hat, that orange camo, that all mesh, that classic duck camo rope hat, that bone camo, that femur fitty boy.
That's what's up.
And that nautical rope hat.
If you want to get a hat, which is just a little apartment for your head, go on there, Theovonstore.com.
And if you don't need a hat, don't even worry about it.
And thank you guys so much.
Happy holidays.
Lord, I got some things I need to say.
Lord, I got some things I need to say.
The studs, man, everybody saw that beautiful, they had a lesbian lady, and it was kind of a little, kind of a little chocolatey lesbian out there, and she was helping people get to heaven.
She is that Willy Wonka.
She's that kind of lesbian Willy Wonka.
And she's helping people get to heaven, baby.
Praise God.
I loved seeing that.
Play it up a little bit if we can show that.
Lord, I got some things I need to say.
Lord, I got some things I need to say.
You're safe, double.
You can't win.
can't win okay a truck went by right there That's nothing, twin.
Hey, bro.
That's what's up, baby.
And that's what's beautiful about the world.
That's beautiful.
Look at that.
Lesbians helping people get to heaven.
That's where we are.
It's a lesbian heaven, baby.
That's what it is.
A thug holiday.
It's December 2025.
And I'm grateful to sit here with you today and to have a moment of each other's time.
I really am.
And yeah, back in the day, a lesbian, were lesbians allowed to help people get to heaven.
I would say no.
You would see lesbians high-fiving each other.
You would see lesbians.
They were untickleable.
That was a thing you could tell if you tickled a woman and they didn't and they didn't laugh, but they had just gotten like a fade, a boosy fade.
Those were kind of giveaways at the time, but now things are different.
Yeah, just yeah, it just feels like there's things you want to yell at the heavens.
And I'll expound on that.
I'll get into that a little bit.
Let me, we're going to get some of you guys' calls.
Um, I'm happy to have this time.
Um, and yeah, I know people, uh, congratulations to anybody who's coming off like a sober October.
You know, I know there's that.
There's um no nut November, um, 40 fart March.
If anybody did that this year, um, which is pretty fun, people don't do it much, but it's you know, trying to fart just 40 times in March.
And nighttime doesn't count, nighttime doesn't count, so yeah, that's uh, though you don't tally those, but um, what else?
There's yeah, Movember, where you don't shave or whatever for HIV or whatever.
There's um what, 11 shit June is another one.
If you've never you want to make your own Vietnam, baby, try an 11th shit June.
Try an 11th shit June.
Um, and do not try, do not try it.
Do not, this is not advice.
We're just saying these are things people do.
I'm not telling anybody to go do it.
Now, if you do do an 11SJ and you do do duties in the middle of the night, that counts.
If you're, you know, if you're night shitting or whatever, that that counts.
Those count.
But yeah, people are challenging themselves in the world, you know, so it's good to know that we are still out there challenging ourselves as humans, as humans that exist.
So congratulations to anybody that's going through, that's been through any of those things this year.
And you start to, you start to wonder, you start to wonder like why, why does it feel like maybe our country is like we're losing or we're falling behind or as humans that we might be overtaken by robots.
And then you realize, oh, I know why, because we're doing an 11 shit June.
Like we're doing no-nut November.
You know, that's what we're focusing on.
Or like a 2,000-step timber.
You know, some people did, I know, 2,000-step timber, and that's kind of crazy.
We only do 2,000 steps in that month.
That's pretty cool.
There's different ones out there.
I'd love to know more of them.
If you know some, drop those off in the hotline: 985-664-9503.
Let me know some of the challenges that you and your friends have been putting yourselves through over time.
But yeah, happy to be alive here, still in America.
And one thing that I learned this year that I thought was interesting or that I that I listened about was Ken Burns when he came on and he was talking about the Declaration of Independence and he was talking about the American Revolution.
And he said that like the Declaration of Independence was, it's just a, it's like it's not, it's diff, it's definitive, but only as long as it's taken care of, right?
It's like, it's not guaranteed throughout time that there's going to be an America or that these are the laws and the ways that things are going to be.
So yeah, it's like I think I've just always thought that America was guaranteed.
Whether we say it's good, things are good in America or things are bad in America, that it will always be there.
And then you start to realize: well, that's not the truth.
There's nothing that says America has to be there forever.
You know, as much as it would be hard for us to conceptualize that, that's that America disappearing or being taken over or renamed, basically, or having a merger is far-fetched.
It's not impossible because it's not a guaranteed thing, right?
The Declaration of Independence, it's a hopeful letter to the future.
It's almost like we look at the Declaration of Independence more like a receipt than like a worksheet.
That's what I think of, or just as America that way.
And I'm not trying to get real highbrow, like I know that like, oh, this is how we need to be or anything like that.
I'm just, I'm kind of thinking of just how I have taken it for granted, just how it's like, this thing won't always be here unless we protect it.
Now, what gets scary is when the America that we believe is one way starts to change, and then you're like, well, what am I protecting?
And I think that's also some of the place where we are right now.
But yeah, I just was like, yeah, I've always kind of just assumed America would be here, that it would be this steadfast thing, but that's not the truth.
It's, you know, throughout time, places have changed and they've been overtaken and they've had different rulers from different places come in.
I'm sure there's been a lot of places that have been sold out from under their feet.
So I don't know, just thinking about that, not trying to get into like a negative space about it, but just like that having an America is an active thing.
It's not a passive thing.
And that's scary.
And then also, though, it's exciting because there is some challenge, like, okay, how do I contribute instead of just assume?
So those are just some stuff I'm thinking about.
And yeah, I've had a tough time like keeping some of my thoughts organized recently.
And so I'm just doing my best.
What else have I been thinking about?
I think I've been thinking about like how much, you know, the person I would like to be in the person that I am and the distance between those two.
And how much do I, how much do I really, how much do I really want to be the best version of myself?
I think I want to, but I guess how much work do I want to put in?
Like here I am with all this gift of just being alive, right?
Of being alive, of being able to like exist in the universe.
I can smell things.
If somebody's cooking muffins, I can smell it.
I can make macaroni.
I can go for a walk.
I can look at my neighbor.
Yeah, there's all these little things you can do that are like make you alive.
And then it's like, yeah, some of the just, I just get comfortable.
So yeah, I think I've just been thinking about, well, how much more uncom, like, am I willing to get more uncomfortable to see if I can be more and just yeah, to get to know myself more.
Yeah.
And then would it, am I afraid of something if I don't do that?
You know, there's practices and like just like my dating life or my like time scheduling or my organization, all those types of things where I could be doing, you know, where I could be doing better, you know, to have just like better sense of integrity with myself.
And yeah, though, it's like, but sometimes I want to take the easy way out or I just want to do what feels good or yeah.
And I'm not being super hard on myself.
I'm just thinking like, I guess how many times do I want to go in some of these patterns where I don't get a different outcome?
Yeah, so I guess I'm just thinking about that as the year ends and we're coming into a new year and then like realistically challenging myself.
Yeah, because I don't want to set myself up for just for failure.
And then I don't want to be too hard on myself.
So what are some realistic ways to challenge myself?
So, yeah, I'm not looking for any self-pity or anything like that.
I'm just thinking out loud.
You know, I fell into a weird spot in this show over the past few years where I used to just think out loud and then and then I started fearing that a lot of it was self-pity.
So yeah, just I'm just grateful to be thinking out loud.
I'm grateful to have some time to think out loud and I'm going to try to meditate more in the coming month and that's going to help me have some more peace of mind.
And that will give my brain a little bit more time to feel relaxed and to be able to have thoughts and be less reactive and more responsive, but not reactive.
So I'm looking forward to that.
Is any of this any of this communication making sense, Trevin, today?
Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
I mean, it even ties back to the Ken Burns episode.
I mean, it's like in the Declaration, it's the pursuit of happiness.
It's a pursuit, you know?
Oh, that's what they say in it.
Yeah.
It's the pursuit of happiness, right?
It's like, like, yeah, America wasn't guaranteed, right?
And it's the pursuit of happiness.
But it's, yeah, it's something that it's not guaranteed.
It's like it has to continually be achieved.
And in the end, the revolution was by the people.
And it was, it has to be achieved by like, it's like never before in America has I felt like that we have to be the ones to pick ourselves up, pick our neighbors up and our friends up and and do better by ourselves and by each other and just or just continue to do, right?
Yeah, just continue to do that this is a doing.
So, yeah, I don't know.
Maybe I'm seeming crazy, but I just, that's some stuff that's been on my mind.
Do you do you think anybody else thinks about that, Trevin?
Definitely.
I do every day.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, thanks for helping me today, dude.
I just feel like, yeah, it's just a lot, man.
It's a lot.
Yeah, man, sometimes it's just a lot.
And then it's also kind of scary when you realize, shit, this shit ain't guaranteed.
You're like, you know, we've been walking around kind of big backing with the American flag in my generation, in my lifetime.
Like, damn, we've been out there big backing, you know?
We had Michael Jordan and them went over there and beat the chopsticks off them dogs over there, you know?
Like in the dream team, you know what I'm saying?
We've had, you know, I'm saying we've always been like America.
But then you start to realize that a lot of the sports, all that's just, that's just, that's the fun.
That's the comfort food.
The truth is just like, you know, is this going to continue?
Is this still going to be, who's this going to be owned by?
What's this?
How is this going to be operated?
Anyway, grateful to be able to think out loud.
Thank you guys for listening to me.
Thanks for being a part of this podcast.
We got to be, and thanks, Trevin.
I appreciate it, man.
And congratulations, dude.
We got to be on the podcast charts for Spotify.
So I want to thank everybody that helped us make the charts just by paying attention at all or listening or even looking at a social media thing or calling in, letting us be a part of your life and letting us be a part of our lives.
And, uh, I feel sad all of a sudden for some reason, kind of trying to think of why a little bit.
I think it feels a little bit scary.
That's what I think it feels like to me.
It feels a little scary thinking about like what's going to happen, what could happen.
And man, maybe I am getting paranoid.
I agree.
Also, just got a new tooth put in.
My tooth broke down to eating some popcorn on a Southwest flight.
But yeah, I think I'm feeling like just unsure.
That's a lot of it.
I think I'm feeling unsure about what the future looks like.
And it used to feel more certain.
And that's kind of spooky.
It's kind of spooky to feel some of that.
So anyway, not trying to be a downer.
And booba.
I'm wearing this shirt today.
Thank God I wore it.
That just made me smile.
And yeah, thank everybody that enjoyed the podcast or paid attention.
And yeah, I can't believe that we did, that people absorbed so many different episodes.
And I'm thankful to Joe Rogan, who helped give me some suggestions over the past couple of years about podcasting.
And just to be able to operate in a world where we get to talk.
You know, when I was a kid, I never had a voice.
I didn't have a voice for myself.
I didn't have anybody teaching me how to have a voice or how to speak up for myself.
I lived in a lot of fear and stuff like that.
And so to just be in a place even where I even had fuck, even if it's just like, damn, this hunky is loud.
I got some things insane.
That just, I can't even believe that that was a turn of a venom, that that that was a little that.
That just making any type of chart where your voice is involved uh, for one minute in time.
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Yeah, I just I can't believe that we get to do this.
Thank all the producers that we have.
There's a lot.
We posted them onto facebook.
Um, we'll run their names at the end of this episode today.
Thank you to our producers currently, Trevin uh.
Nick Zach, Uh Powers.
Our lead producer uh, Andrew Baxter.
Um, Nick Davis.
Trevin Stegle is how do you say your last name?
Trevin Steagle?
Damn dude.
So we still have a lot to learn here, guys.
That's what i'm saying, Trevin Steagle, thank you so much dude.
And uh yeah, I can't even believe that.
Can you believe that it's crazy?
I can't.
I mean, that's kind of crazy.
Like i'm not saying, next year we'll be back into, you know, we'll be the 11 000th podcast and in two years we'll be out of business.
But um, but just, it's just funny man, I just cannot even believe that.
That is crazy to me.
Uh, but Yeah, but just thanks for paying attention or not for paying, just I don't know.
Thanks for around with us.
Thanks for letting us just bother you.
That's what I mean.
Yeah, I honestly mean that.
That's what I mean.
Thanks for letting us bother you a little bit.
All right, let's get into some calls here.
Here we go.
Yep.
And it's a different time now.
We need lesbians to get into heaven, man.
And that's the thing.
Everybody now, we got all got to pull our weight.
We all need even lesbians.
We all need lesbians to get into heaven.
You know, lesbians are helping people get into heaven.
So obviously, you know.
Hey, Theo.
I just wanted to call.
I wanted to ask you, man.
I got a best friend.
He has a problem.
He's in love with lesbians.
All of his girls that he falls in love with turn out to be lesbians.
And I just, we need some advice of how he can break through, how he can convert these girls.
I just want to know if you got any advice on that, brother.
Wow.
How to bring a lesbian back, huh?
how to bring a stud back out of the solar system and get them right here, boots on the ground.
I think your buddy, and I've seen this before, and it's the only reason I'm saying this.
I like that.
I had a friend, and I think we could still be friends.
You haven't seen each other in a long time.
But anyway, he really was homosexual.
He was homosexual.
And he, but he would try to date gay women because he was afraid to just date homosexual men.
So it kind of wasn't cool.
It's like if you are just trying to get these, because the truth is, he's trying to get these women that are kind of like men.
He's trying to get them to be full men.
You know, and he would try to make them get jobs with like UPS or whatever, do that kind of shit to try to get them all the way over there.
You know, but now, no matter how many hours you work for UPS or you work at the post office or whatever, you ain't going to sprout a wiener.
You know, that shit is just, that's facts.
So that was the kind of shit that he was trying to do.
And we didn't realize it at first.
We're just like, damn, he likes these tough women.
You know, he likes these women.
Like, one of his chicks would wear a fucking neck brace for no reason.
You know what I'm saying?
That bitch was a she, you know.
She would just, she looked like a damn Pez dispenser over there.
And she did drywall, you know.
And, but anyway, but anyway, the truth was he was trying to convert these women over to men.
So I think your buddy could be homosexual, buddy.
So I would sit your buddy down and I'd see if he's gay.
Is he gay?
Is your buddy gay?
But after he's done deciding if he likes men or women, tell him to fucking get his shit together and help this country out.
Okay, that's all I'm telling him.
After he's done deciding, if he likes these let because a lot of these lesbian women, they got that long on them.
You know what I'm saying, boy.
A lot of them, they just, they'll stand there just at night, just straining as hard as they can, just trying to launch that, just trying to launch that clam, just trying to elongate that sea lamb, baby.
You know, a lot of them just trying to strain so much they just sprout a hick.
But who knows?
And I think I wish him well out there, brother.
Praise God.
Um, let's hear more.
What do you think, Trevin?
Is that fair to say to those guys?
I think definitely, if he wants a real challenge, there's bigger fish to fry.
Yeah, you're trying to convert a lesbian.
Don't mess, don't mess that lady up like that.
Don't just go either get either get a straight woman or get a gay man, but don't sit here standing on both sides of the fence.
You ruining other people's shit.
You out here, you talk, you talking to a girl with a boosty fade and a ball cap over there and a Texas Rangers hat and a wife beater or whatever.
And she's taped her nipples down or whatever.
Chill out, man.
She drew hair on her chest between her tits.
And you're, you know, you trying to say, ooh, you know, let me buy you a let me buy you some oven mitts or something.
Don't do that shit.
Get out there and get what you really want, which is a man.
Get that little Christmas wiener, baby.
Get that baby antler.
You know what I'm saying?
That can you out here pretending wasting these lesbians times.
Don't waste these lesbians' times because we need them right now.
They're helping us get into heaven.
It's all hands on deck, baby.
It's blacks versus drones, baby.
Let's go.
What else do we have?
We got another call that came in right here.
Yo, Theo Vaughn, my name is my name is Patrick.
What's up, Patrick?
Good to hear from you, brother.
Thank you for calling.
Onward, I live in Washington, Illinois.
Oh, you live in Washington, Illinois?
Dude, my friend Corey used to live there.
He was in the pipe fitters union, dude.
He might still be in it.
I got to text him.
Okay, Onward.
I kind of need some advice, bro.
I like, I want to ask this girl for her number, but like, you know, like, I ain't ever really talked to her that much.
Like, we talked a little bit, but like, not that much.
And low-key, we got three lunch hours at our school.
And we, I don't know what one she's switching to next semester after Christmas break.
So, like, can you, like, give me some advice to, like, you know, uh, get her number before Christmas break?
I mean, dude, I, if you're trying to get, I remember that stuff where you're trying to get a girl's number at school.
That's hard, bro.
God, because the nerves, dude, my nerves were so high during school, I couldn't even do anything.
Dude, every time I even saw a girl, I had to go to the office and get ice on my head.
Dude, if I tried to ask a girl to a dance or whatever, I would just wake up in the lobby or whatever, covered in ice or whatever, eight bags of ice.
They'd have me just iced out, bro.
I look like damn two chains out there running a fever, though, dude.
It was just, dude, I did.
They, yeah.
If I even, dude, if I even wrote check yes or no on a piece of paper, I'd fall out my chair like one of those little Joe Rogan baby videos, you know.
So, dude, I don't have any advice.
Are you kidding, bro?
What are you even talking about, dude?
You know, I couldn't do shit.
You haven't heard any of these podcasts, bro.
I got nothing, dog.
You think I got advice for you, dude?
I don't have a woman.
You think I can help you get somebody?
And I will say this, though, dude.
There's nothing better than talking to the girl and win or lose.
Because you walk off and you're like, yup.
At least I tried, bro.
That's American.
That's American, bro.
Dude, just say, hey, give me half your number.
Don't even put it all on her.
Give me half your number because that's even easier.
Because here's the thing: if she wants you to have all of it, she'll make sure you get the rest of it.
Say, hey, give me half your number, and then give her an envelope or something with your address on it for the mail, put the stamps on it, and say, look, if you want me to have the other half, send me that bitch.
You know, then at least you got some excitement coming.
You got Santa sending you something.
Christmas means something right there.
So that's kind of something, dude.
But yeah, dude, I remember I asked some girl to a dance one time.
She said yes.
I was high on mushrooms.
I admit that, but I got so excited right when she said yes, I ran through this party of children outdoors, ran, jumped over a chain link fence, cut my hand and stomach open.
Had to go to an emergency room, ambulance, everything.
So, yeah, dude, you got the wrong guy, bro.
But I love that, bro.
And yeah, dude, you get over there and you say, look, I would love to have one number of your phone number.
Just start there.
Don't ask for the whole number, bro.
Don't be greedy, bro.
Get one number.
See what happened, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Leave room for God to work.
Praise God, brother.
Good luck out there.
What do you think, Trevin?
That's fair.
He's got to pursue it, bro.
Pursue the happiness.
Yeah, you got to pursue.
That's true.
It's the pursuit of happiness.
It's not guaranteed, bro.
That's true.
It's the pursuit.
You're right, bro.
Yeah, you got to get over there.
Dude, I'm trying to think of what you could do.
But you can't be crazy, dude.
Look, if she's not interested, you can't make somebody interested, but you can just have a little bit of energy about you.
Here we go right here.
And happy holidays to everybody and Merry Christmas.
The hotline is always 985-664-9503.
Hey, Theo.
My name's Casey.
What's up, Casey?
Thanks for calling.
I'm drinking a little Celsius.
I'm a fan.
I've been listening for a long time.
I'm a little drunk right now, which is the only reason I called in.
Just want to let you know, I just listened to your episode where you were talking about garlic bread.
It's the best.
I love garlic bread so much.
I can't even tell you how much I freaking love garlic bread.
But even more than that, I love you.
I love garlic bread and I love you.
Just wanted to let you know you're the best.
Keep going with everyone.
Don't ever stop.
Love you.
I love garlic bread and I love you.
Dang, that girl's Italian, boy.
Wow.
That garlic bread, that shit is good, bro.
When that shit gets hard at the edges, bro, and it turns up a little.
Because you start that bit flat, right?
That garlic bread, man.
You know what I'm saying?
And you put that in at the end, it turns up like the edges are trying to get into the middle.
That's what's up.
I'm like, damn.
Maybe, girl, let's like that.
I'm going to leave the window open for you.
So, but yeah, that woman's Italian.
All right.
Thank you for calling.
And yeah, thank you for liking garlic bread.
I like it.
And I'm glad that I like it.
So.
All right.
What else we got here?
Hey, Theo, it's Colin.
Hey, man, it's December 1st right now.
And, you know, it's supposed to be the holidays where everyone's all happy and shit.
But, man, every year, this time of year is the worst for me.
Like everyone's supposed to be happy during Christmas and I'm just sitting there trying to just pretend to be happy, but it's tough.
I hope I got my birthday this month too, and like everything is supposed to be good, but it's always just a rough time of year.
I was curious if you ever dealt with that or had any advice.
Appreciate you.
Yeah, man.
Thanks for the call.
Was it Dylan?
What was it on?
Hey, Theo, it's Colin.
Colin.
Sorry.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, there's sometimes when I get on here to do this podcast where I am not as happy as I, you know, this is the like, this is me, like kind of not maximum happiness, but there's times where I sit down and I think about stuff.
And sometimes I want to, like, I don't want to be happy.
You know, I want to either be more earnest or I want to be more like share things that I'm scared of or fear.
You know, I think there's times like that.
There's times where I feel some responsibility, like, oh, well, I can't have people listen in and they're listening to some guy be sad.
That's shitty.
You know, what's even going on then?
Not in a heavy way, but yeah, it's like, yeah, I mean, yeah, sometimes I'm scared.
I'm scared about stuff.
You know, I'm scared what, you know, if everything's going to be okay.
That's like a big fear that's always with me.
You know, and I don't even know where it came from.
It's been there my whole life.
Is everything going to be okay?
Think about that fear, right?
I'm just thinking about it out loud.
I've never really even thought about it.
What an insane fear.
I've had it since I was a kid.
Is everything going to be okay?
I've never said it vocally out like this before.
That's an impossible thing for somebody to carry around.
That's realistic, right?
Of course, everything isn't going to be okay.
But to think that there's some kid that is like, you know, that as a kid or as a young man, I was walking with that all the time.
And then it still sometimes is like a, it's like a bead of sweat that, you know, kind of shows up on the on the shower door of my brain sometimes, you know?
Yeah, is everything going to be okay?
Fuck no, it's not.
Some things will, some things, but it just, you know, that weird feeling, you know, that's something that's like, oh, I have to do something.
What do I need to do?
That's always been something that's a thing that's one of my repetitive things.
What do I have to do?
You know, like if people are over, I'm always like, it's too hot.
It's too cold.
I'm standing.
Like, I can't, there's no, like, are you hot or cold?
50 seconds later, I'm like, hey, I know we've been talking for another minute or two.
Are you getting any hotter or colder?
It's like, I can't, you know, it's tough for me to let things be.
It's tough for me to let things be.
It's tough for me not to take an action to do something because that's scary.
It's scary for me.
If I let things be, then it's out of my control.
And that's scary.
And the truth is, though, a lot of it's so much of it's out of my control anyway.
so much of it's out of my control yeah and i think it's turning that over that if i can if i can and i'm not pestering myself But if I could get more comfortable with when that feeling comes up of like, okay, I need to do something.
I need to say something.
I need to ask somebody if they're hot or cold.
If I could be like, you know, just God's got this.
I'm just going to have faith that everything's okay.
I'm just going to have faith that everything's okay.
Yeah, if I could just lean into some more of those moments of just, I don't have to affect this.
Anyway, I'm talking about me, man.
Let me listen to your question again so I can try to talk about you.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sitting there talking about myself, Jesus.
Everyone's supposed to be happy during Christmas.
And I'm just sitting there trying to just pretend to be happy, but it's tough.
I'm okay.
I got my birthday this month, too.
And like, everything is supposed to be good, but it's always just a rough time of year.
I was curious if you ever dealt with that or had any advice.
Appreciate you.
Yeah, I think it's an okay time to take a nap.
First of all, let me say that.
It's an okay time not to fight the wars that are out there.
It's an okay time not to hit some man or woman who's dressed up like an elf on a lime scooter or whatever who's been drinking.
It's an okay not to hit them with your car.
It's an okay time not to engage in too much of the crazy stuff.
I mean, this is a time of year when a lot of animals go hibernate.
You know, a lot of animals go hibernate.
Even the sun isn't even out that long.
So for us to be like, yay, it's kind of a lot.
It's kind of going against nature.
So I think it's okay to take some time for yourself and like not feel the overwhelming sense of I have to do everything.
Like earlier today, I was like, oh, well, people are probably going to Christmas parties.
Nobody's invited me to any Christmas parties, right?
I was thinking of that.
And my mom invited me to a Christmas party at her house.
And my friend Bo invited me to a Christmas party with his family around Christmas.
But I hadn't gotten invited to anything.
Like, you know, I'm home.
It's before Christmas, blah, blah, blah.
So, and that's okay.
But I need to just be like, hey, this is a great time for me to read, to work on, you know, my stepwork that I'm going through again, to enjoy some time with myself, not, you know, not to feel that FOMO, not to feel this overwhelming sense of like, well, let me have a, let me control, let me, you know.
I wonder why I don't feel at peace very much because I don't let myself be at peace very much.
But for your instance, sorry, I'm still fucking talking about me, dude.
Bro, stop.
But I think there's two sides to this.
I was talking to my friend Chris today, and he was saying he was feeling kind of down.
And I noticed this.
If I do those things, like I can isolate during the holidays as well, and that's not good.
During Thanksgiving, I kind of showed up to my family and I didn't have the best attitude.
And I knew in my head what was going on.
And there were moments I was able to work through it and show up and do okay.
I think I wanted to spend some alone time with my mom.
I didn't get that.
And so when things weren't going kind of exactly the way I wanted them, I turned, you know, this side of me comes out that's, you know what, I'll cut myself off from people.
It'll be like, oh, things aren't kind of perfect here right now.
Then I'm not going to apply myself to this situation.
I'm going to cut my, like my emotions, my feelings.
I'm going to kind of keep everything away from you.
You know, things aren't exactly the way I want them.
I'm going to, I'm going to keep myself from you.
Right.
And really, I'm just hurting myself.
But also, I'm kind of in, I can be kind of like not helping the environment around me.
But that's been a thing of mine over the years, I realized like a way that I'll try to hurt somebody's feelings is I'll try to keep my, I'll keep my, I'll keep my love away from them, which is kind of crazy to say out loud, I think.
And I don't know exactly what I mean by it, but I've noticed it at times.
Like, oh, this isn't kind of the way I want it, then you're not going to get any of me.
I can kind of know what I'm saying, but part of me doesn't know exactly what I'm saying.
But does that make any sense, Trevi?
You think?
Yeah, it's just like you close, close off.
Yeah, I'll close off.
And sometimes it's, there's only a, I'll only be home for a certain amount of time or only be around family a certain amount of time.
So there's not a ton of time for really us to have time together.
And even in those moments, it's like, I'll, well, I'm going to shut down here, you know?
So yeah, I can tend to kind of get that way.
But brother, I think, yeah, don't expect too much out of the holidays.
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, but try to bring some joy to yourself.
Go do something that finds you some joy.
Do not isolate too much because you also can bring joy to other people.
You know, that's the worst part about when I shut down is what I'm really missing out on.
It's not really me, like, it's just like, if I show up in a good mood, I can help somebody else have a nice time.
You know, maybe I can play with the baby or I can see my friend's dog or I can, you know, tell my sister she has a nice shirt or that she looks pretty or, you know, I can do little things.
I can sit and play a game.
I can do something.
I can talk to someone else at the family get together that I don't know.
It's like, it's like if I don't shut down, if I don't get in that selfish way, then I can do, I can just be a part of what is of the best situation.
Not for me, but just what's the best possible outcome?
Is that I just try to show up with a smile on my face.
How can I help?
And, but yeah, sometimes you have to pretend to be happy, man.
Here's the thing.
You pretend to be happy.
Eventually you will be.
That's the craziest part.
You pretend to be happy.
You will, eventually you will be.
Yeah, I think, you know, I think anything, if you do it, you will like actions first.
People think you have to like think it first.
No.
You can't think yourself into right actions, but you can act yourself into right thinkings.
Can you look that up for me on Perplexity, please?
Who is one of our sponsors?
Thank you, Perplexity, for helping us figure stuff out.
Yeah, many people can act themselves into good thinking because behavior often reshapes beliefs, emotions, and self-image over time.
So yeah, I think it's like, yeah, you don't have to pretend that everybody's happy.
Maybe you're not the happiest guy.
You don't have to be Santa.
You could be one of his elves that smokes behind the wood shop.
You don't have to be the best guy.
You know, what about go watch bad Santa?
Just do a gateway package into some sort of holiday vibes.
You know, watch Miracle on 34th Street, but then watch Nightmare on Elm Street.
You know what I'm saying?
Do both.
You can do, you know what I'm saying?
There's a mix of everything out there.
But I do believe that if you show up and you find a place to show up that feels kind of comfortable to you, to your birthday, whoever invites you over for your birthday or if somebody calls you, if you try to show up with the best part to you, even if you have to pretend that I think the best part to you will meet those pretendings halfway.
I believe that.
I don't think that makes any sense, but yeah, I think you can act your way into feeling better.
But you don't have to, dude.
Yeah, Christmas gets on a lot of people's nerves, especially this time of year.
It's hectic.
There's so many things to do.
So don't be hard on yourself.
Don't over-isolate.
It's a balance.
I think everything is.
But yeah, I appreciate you calling, dude.
I appreciate you.
Because yeah, it's like, fuck, sometimes we all have to pretend to be happy.
But I think that's a lot of things.
You know, I have friends in marriages that tell me, it's like, dude, every day you wake up, you don't want to be married.
But on some of those days, you just pretend that you want to be married, you know?
And then you get to the days where you do want to be.
So I don't know.
I know I've just rambled a lot about me and I didn't help you at all.
Not that I was trying to help you or that.
I don't know shit.
Look at me.
But fuck, dude.
What are we going to do about America?
That's a big question, you know?
But blessings to you, dude.
Happy holidays.
And yeah, thanks for just being here and letting me think with you out loud.
Love you, brother.
And I'm going to send you a birthday present.
So we'll reach out and send you a birthday present.
And yeah.
Yeah, and I hope if you don't have, if you don't join a bunch of other people and feel great there, that we can find ways to feel great with ourselves good enough.
You know, that's the even crazier trick.
It's like, because sometimes I'm using going out to see people and do things just to get away from myself, which is crazy.
Just to get away from those moments where it's me and me standing there in the living room of my head.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
The holidays are a time of traditions.
Some people have many in their family and some have none or they're just beginning their own.
Now's the time to reflect on what they mean to you or to rewrite those traditions and make them your own.
Incorporating therapy into your new or existing traditions can help ensure you take time for yourself during what can be a very joyful, but sometimes hectic and lonely time of year.
One tradition we have in my family is verbal altercations and leaving family events early and crying in our vehicles.
That's something we like to do.
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That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash T-H-E-O.
What's another call?
You want to pick one off here, Trevin, that you like?
There's a couple of them.
We get a list usually of calls here.
And so.
What about follow-up on twins?
Advice for twins from the Baby Me episode.
Oh, that's a great call.
That's a great call.
Good call.
Yeah, that's a great idea because we just had somebody call in who was having twins and I don't believe in them.
But this person has some twin advice.
Here we go.
Yeah, my name is Michael from Indianapolis.
I'm calling in hope to respond to Cage.
He called in on your last solo episode about having twins and needing some advice.
And I guess it's now, you know, this can go to Cage and Riley Mel.
Congratulations to all y'all, man.
Kids are rough, man.
They're the best hell that you could ever willingly put yourself through.
Wow, the best hell you could willingly put yourself through.
That's a beautiful statement.
Let's hear more.
Thank you so much.
And I mean that.
They're also the most rewarding thing that you could ever do.
And you just got to, if I could ever give anybody some advice, man, it is just that you got to take care of yourself.
The lady has to take care of herself.
You guys got to take care of each other.
Can't force him to cut.
So if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of her.
She doesn't take care of herself.
She can't take care of you.
You got to take care of yourselves.
You can't take care of each other.
In terms, you can't take care of your kids.
But I am serious.
Like, you guys have to take care of yourselves.
That's the main thing, man.
You've got to take some adult time.
Either be a dad, be a mom, be active, be present.
But, man, if you got parents that won't mind, you know, watching the kid overnight one time, take advantage of that, man.
Go party, go make some crazy decisions.
As long as you can go to work Monday at clock in and be a dad again, then take care of yourselves, man.
That's my biggest advice.
Amen.
Yeah, that's true.
So I'm like, yeah, how much?
How can I do all these things?
And I'm, yeah, I show up, you know, I'll show up to fix a car with no tools because I ain't take care of my own shit.
I'm over there pretending just making a note, using my hand, just making a wrench noise while I use it.
Take care of yourself first, and you can take care of those twins.
I love that.
Here's another one right here.
Let's see what came in.
Hey, Theo, this is Cody from Florida.
Hey, Cody, thanks for calling, brother.
How are you today?
Onward.
And I just heard you're big on the topics with having a porn addiction and being an alcoholic.
I know you did that 12-step program.
And honestly, man, those two things are the biggest problems in my life.
I just had my girlfriend of over a year break up with me because of a porn addiction, which that is just so embarrassing.
I can't even think of myself as a normal person anymore.
I think I feel so embarrassed.
I just feel such a weak man and the alcohol problem, man.
I want to know what you did to help yourself with both of those addictions, mainly the porn addiction, to be honest.
And that's just so embarrassing to say.
Hey, brother, thanks for ringing us up here.
And yeah, the only things I know that have helped me with any type of addiction are 12-step recovery programs.
I know some people use different programs or different things.
People have used rehab, detox.
I know that some people need those sorts of things.
I haven't used, I've used like some short-term rehab.
I've not had to use long-term rehab or detox in my life yet.
And yeah, those are the things that I know.
There's SLAA meetings, sex and love addiction online that you can find and you can just attend on Zoom.
They're great places to start.
And local AA meetings.
And I would go to three meetings, three different ones, until you see what you think about it.
But those programs I know work.
There's no lifelong cure.
It's a daily, it's a daily reprieve.
And it works if you work it.
I believe those things.
And it will get better.
It will get better if you go and work on it.
You know, yeah, nothing changes if nothing changes.
We've talked about that before.
And that's the truth.
I've thought things would change in my life if they, I'll just grow out of it or this will happen or this person, someone will come along.
I'll move somewhere in this.
No, it's, it doesn't, more often than not, none of those things help.
I'm not saying never.
For me, for me.
Yeah, but I'm sorry that you're dealing with that loss.
But also, in a way, I'm glad that you are realizing this and you can get a hold of it now because there's no time like the present, man.
And what a great gift to ourselves to try and take care of ourselves better.
So amen to you, brother.
I love you.
And yeah, thanks for calling and letting us think about that.
Let's do this call right here.
It might be time to get on out of here.
And I know this episode maybe was a little bit heavy.
Was this episode too heavy, Trevin?
I don't think so.
We got there.
Okay.
Yeah, my nervous system is getting a little bit burnt out.
So here we go.
Hi, Theo.
I'm Colin from Ohio.
And I just want to let you know I have reached one year sober.
It has been the worst ride possible, but I finally did it.
And I'm just calling to let you know, you and you have been a huge part of my journey in every way possible.
I remember being just fucked up on drugs and alcohol watching your show.
And now I watch your show sober without fucking drugs and alcohol.
And I still laugh like I used to.
It is the best thing ever.
So I just want to say thank you.
And do you have any advice for the other people that are trying to get sober?
You know, just spread the love and keep going.
Thank you, Theo.
Bye.
Amen.
Congratulations.
That's awesome.
Thanks so much for sharing that message, you know.
Yeah, and I feel lucky to be part of a podcast that we're able to even talk about that kind of stuff or that you're able to call in and share that message.
And congratulations.
One year, that's crazy.
That's beautiful.
And shit, your voice was so loud in the beginning.
Hi, Theo.
It almost got on my damn nerves.
I thought crazy it was.
I'm like, dang, she's doing so good.
She's lit up.
Lit up by the Lord and the feelings of self-worth.
And so that's a beautiful, that is beautiful to hear around this time of year.
And anytime, man, you hear somebody feel proud of themselves.
That's beautiful.
And I'm glad that this show could just be a part of something.
And that's one of the things that makes me so lucky.
Like, just like, even just being a part of this show, it's like, what could God use us to do if we put ourselves in the best situation?
You know, and can I meet God halfway?
And I know, I know we've talked about that a little bit before.
And not that God isn't all the way.
I know he's all the way that it's, but I'm just saying, like, yeah, just the beauty of what God can use all of us for if we make ourselves an available tool, you know, kind of.
So, but man, what a time of year to.
I know this was a lot of thinking about me this episode.
I'm sorry about that.
Look at that guy on that shirt, that little Rick Shaw donkey right there.
That little fucking lesbian school teacher.
I love him, boy.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah, we got, we're here, you know.
We're here.
We're alive.
We got a shot.
We got a shot.
We can figure it out.
We can't do it alone.
And yeah.
And what did I start talking about?
What things do we want to, if I wanted to yell something, if I wanted to just say something to the heavens, maybe that's it, you know?
Just like, man, what could I, what could I be used for, you know, if I can, you know, just let me be, I don't know.
What could I be used for if I'm, if I, and maybe it's just if I just ask God, you know, you know, and that's one of the morning prayers that is part of my routine right now.
It's just asking God to, uh, use me and build with me as thou wilt.
Um, yeah.
But yeah, there's so much out there, you know.
There's so much out there.
Anyway, I don't know if I've, did we cover everything you think, Trevor?
Are we okay?
Yeah, we're good.
Okay, man.
Thank you so much for your help this year, Trevin.
Anytime.
And yeah, we do our best.
We're trying.
It's just another day, right?
We don't have to save the world today.
That feels good.
Does that feel good to know that?
Okay.
Who knows?
I love you guys.
Thanks for being a part of the podcast today.
Thanks for your calls.
As always, the hotline 985-664-9503.
Congratulations to the young lady getting a year sober, to the guy whose birthday is coming up.
We love you, bro.
Enjoy your holidays.
Make them enjoyable for you somehow.
It is in the end.
It's our somewhat our responsibility to find joy.
Okay.
Anyway, I'm getting chatty.
Love you guys.
You guys be good to yourselves.
You deserve it.
Thank you so much for helping with the Jersey auction.
We raised almost $40,000 to go to the Cumberland Heights Recovery Center.
It's going to help subsidize recovery for individuals over there.
And for the show with Mike Rowe, where we were helping people buy stuff from their fellow Americans.
Anyway, whatever.
All right.
You guys have a wonderful one.
And love you guys.
And yeah, talk to you later.
Bye.
Now I'm just floating on the breeze.
And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.