This Past Weekend - Theo Von - #614 - New York Circus

Oct. 2, 2025 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

56:02

#614 - New York Circus

Theo is back to talk about the circus coming to Nashville, new glasses, and what happened this past weekend in New York City. Big thanks to Joey Diaz, Bonnie McFarlane, and Lee Kimbrell for their help with the special taping. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Acorns: Go to http://acorns.com/theo to get your $20 bonus investment today. Neuro Gum: Go to http://neurogum.com and use THEO for 20% off your first order. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. ShipStation: Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/theo. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	It was even bad in America.
	You know, I'm not home a lot.
	You know, I can't keep a plant alive at the moment.
	But when I am home, my bedroom is it's like my sanctuary, you know.
	It's it's a sacred spot for sleep.
	Thankfully, I have a helix sleep mattress.
	God, I like it.
	I mean, I get on that thing and whoo, baby girl, four I know it, it's morning and I'm feeling good.
	In fact, I like mine so much I got two of 'em.
	I put one of them in the guest room over there, in case mom wants to come and just launch some of her dirty dreams into that thing.
	Because honestly, sleep matters more to me than ever.
	Especially when I'm on the go.
	If I'm home, you know it.
	Days are long.
	When you shut it down, it's time to shut it down.
	Getting real sleep on my helix sleep mattress makes all the difference.
	If your old mattress has you just launched in, locked in a trench over there.
	You need a ladder to get out that thing.
	It may be time for you to give Helix sleep a try.
	You can sleep great too.
	Just go to Helix Sleep.com slash theo to get 25% off site wide for our audience only.
	That's Helix Sleep.com slash T H E O. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you.
	If you're running a business.
	Okay.
	Happy October.
	That's where we are today.
	Goodness um good to be here with you here in the fall.
	We are pretty much into the fall now.
	As the calendar you start to fall off the end of the year.
	And then just bam, you just land right there in Santa's arms over there around December 25th, baby.
	That's where we at.
	Um I got some new glass.
	I did get some new glasses, I guess.
	Uh they're they're new to me.
	I don't know.
	I'm sure they weren't used or whatever.
	They're B plus, I guess.
	My thing, my vision is B plus or uh something B12, what is it?
	I don't know.
	They're pretty good.
	They're pretty good, I guess.
	It helps me read.
	I didn't know I needed glasses, you know.
	And then I guess I don't know if I was in like a dark restaurant or whatever.
	Next thing you know, I'm at the iShop, and uh and I got these bitches, baby.
	And so I'm enjoying them, I think.
	I will say this, I don't know.
	I can't some people I can't see anymore.
	So it's kind of I'm not saying these things are making racial choices for me, but they're definitely uh these things don't want to get a good look at everybody, you know.
	So I may have to mail them back, I'm not sure.
	But I'm running on about an eight foot radius or whatever, twelve foot radius may be in these.
	So uh if you want, you know, get close if you need me, you know.
	Um but yeah, because I fucking, dude, I was my short sight was getting kind of rocky.
	You know, I'd go in for a hug and I'd miss that bitch.
	I'd be like, damn.
	You'd go in to hug somebody and hug the wrong person.
	You're like, sh who's that?
	You know, that's somebody's damn husband or something.
	You know, you don't even, you know, you go in to hug a decent woman and you end up over there, you know, and you just up near some man's neck or something.
	It just so I think getting your visual is important.
	And so that's kind of what I'm I guess doing.
	I gotta get.
	Yeah, I think these bitches are B or B plus.
	I don't know what I gotta I gotta look at the um package or whatever.
	I got these bitches online.
	They came that just wrote the size of them on the back or something.
	I think it was like 3842 or something.
	I don't know.
	I gotta look and see.
	I got a fucking kind of a big head.
	Um what else?
	Thank you guys for being here.
	Uh the circus is coming to town, I just saw that.
	I don't know if there's any circus lovers, but the circus is back.
	You know, and when I was a child, the circus was a big thing.
	You know, you had a couple times throughout the year you'd get this little ticket at school, and it'd say on its circus at the top.
	And it'd say like Willie's circus, you know, a risky ricks.
	Circus, you know.
	And it would say like admit one just on this ticket.
	You could get it anywhere.
	So they were just giving out free tickets, you know.
	And it would be like this petting zoo fucking rocks, it would say, or something like that on the back.
	Or where petting zoos go to fuck.
	It would say shit like you're like, that's that's a lot.
	Um but it was a big deal back then when the circus came.
	Because you'd see them setting up in that big top, that tent, and they wheel all animals in there.
	And some of the animals they'd been through a lot.
	They'd look like they'd maybe just got back from war or something, war two or something.
	You know, they'd some of them missing a knee or miss or you know, have a fake ear.
	You know, they'd have an elephant, but then one of his ears, they'd have just two, you know, they'd put a damn potted plant into the hole over there, and you have a damn elephant ear plant growing out of the side, you know, and they paint that bitch gray over there.
	You'd see a guy on a ladder just painting that elephant, you know, just painting a big plant ear gray, just trying to line it all up.
	And they put a big bow tie on him.
	Call him big ginger or whatever.
	Spray paint red hair on his back.
	You know, it was just, you know, you you'd see a giraffe, but that bitch had a short neck on him.
	You're like, God.
	You'd see a damn giraffe.
	He was four foot four, and that bitch was just, you know, pissed, too.
	Pissed.
	It almost looked like if you tickled him the right way, his neck would just you know, get to the right size.
	You know, he was just like that wide neck.
	Remember that fella wide neck that was running around.
	He was a um kind of an African American, like running back that only played drugs or whatever.
	Like, you know what I'm saying?
	He didn't have a sport, and that was the circus, and it meant something you were excited about it.
	And you'd talk about it at school and you'd go over there.
	And I just saw the flyer that a new one.
	It was called the G Circus.
	It's like a it kind of had looked like a like a circus, like a circus circus kind of, you know, uh, it just looked like a um like a rave for children, kind of.
	You know, they had a couple damn drones out there, you know, palantier just shooting popcorn in the kids' mouths and stuff.
	Just, you know, it had a different sort of etiquette to it.
	And I don't even know if they had any animals.
	They had a couple of kind of gender-neutral dudes just kind of whistling in each other's mouths, type of deal.
	You know, they had a blind fella just kind of just singing fret again lyrics and stuff.
	It's just gotten very uh progressive.
	It feels like the circus.
	You know, they used to have real animals.
	You'd go out there, you'd see a couple monkeys out there.
	And you know, they want them to be smoking for you.
	And they, you know, you pay, get you 50 cents over there.
	Go visit that smoking monkey.
	See if your lash and your mama's back, you know, or something.
	And they had long arms, they'd ash on a ash in a baby carrot, just something like that.
	It was, you know, it was more involved.
	They let the animals live a little.
	You know, and they they used to have real lions too.
	They'd have, you know, they had back back then they had real lions.
	Now you got a couple, you got a couple of hardy women over there wearing Aiden Hutchinson jerseys, you know, and just complaining that their breasts are too big.
	Uh now they got a uh gluten-free concession stand.
	Just a you know, uh they the peanut allergies, they got that.
	So it's, you know.
	Back in the day, they had a dude, you would find a dude at the circus with a peanut allergy.
	They would find that dude, they would give him a couple handfuls of peanuts, and then send that bitch running through a ring of fire, baby.
	While people in the crowd sang, I was about to rock.
	Now it's just they find a dude with a peanut allergy, right?
	They put him in a hazmat suit, they have him run and jump through a ring of uh peanuts into his two mothers' arms.
	So it's I'm just saying, yeah, it's just a different time, man.
	It's just a different time.
	And that's what time does.
	It keeps making things different, doesn't it?
	Man, time does not like to wear the same outfit, baby.
	That's the truth.
	Time likes to uh time likes every minute just freshly ironed, baby, right out the package.
	Time is just, you know, it's just it likes to feel brand new, baby.
	But God, that circus was fun.
	You go over there.
	And sometimes some of the the the circus workers, they just set themselves on fire and just collect damn workman's comp Right there, right in front of you.
	Fuck.
	People would cheer and just damn just, you know, God and just pray.
	So yeah, it was just a different time, man.
	Um that's the circus.
	That's the circus.
	It's back.
	Um we had a circle, we had a circus last week in New York in uh New York City.
	And I want to talk about that.
	I want to uh I want to just go through it because there's like a lot of stuff out there, speculation and all of that, and I want to just get super clear on it, right?
	Because I think a lot of people um don't know like what went on, and it wasn't that crazy what went on, and I wish it was gonna be a more exciting story, but I just want to uh yeah, I just want to share with you kind of what happened, I guess.
	Um, and I don't want to make it a big deal, but I think I I but I do want to like just kind of go into it, right?
	Um you know, so mental health is important to me, right?
	It's important to me.
	We talk about that kind of stuff on here a lot.
	And hold on.
	And yeah, it's like it's a I think it's been something that we talk about a great deal and just think about and kind of explore, right?
	So I had a comedy special that we were taping.
	We were taping it last week.
	And about a and and about a month before I started, I quit taking uh some antidepressants I was taking.
	You know, I just kind of self-weaned myself off.
	And the reason why was because I wanted like during the comedy show, I wanted to have a little bit more emotion during it.
	I wanted to have this kind of like I just wanted to have some more feelings.
	You know, if um if you ever take an antidepressants, or if you haven't, uh they it kind of takes away your feelings, kinda, you know.
	Uh so you just kind of stay in this space where you're okay.
	And it's nice, it's a safe space, but you don't uh you're like the astronaut that kind of stays on the ship sometimes.
	And you get to do the thumbs up and shit, but other dudes are like, you know, but there people other people are out there.
	Um anyway, so I quit taking my medication because I wanted to have a little bit more feelings during the show.
	I wanted to be able to talk about stuff a little bit more that meant something to me and put it into the comedy show.
	So that was all going fine, right?
	I was doing fine with that.
	We're headed into the comedy show, and then the Charlie Kirk thing happened, right?
	The Charlie Kirk murder happened, which is really crazy.
	You know, it was just a crazy thing.
	Uh, I've talked about it before.
	I'm not gonna talk about it anymore right now.
	Um a few days after that, or maybe a week after that, they're the Department of Homeland Security put a video up online talking about uh they started making like trapbeat edits and like banger edits to evicting people from the country, right?
	Or eliminating um illegal, illegals, maybe some criminals, some people just undocumented, all you know, just across the spectrum, right?
	So they put a video of mine that I'd made for somebody in a parking lot, probably like maybe a year and a half ago, just jokingly.
	They put, I think it was a year and a half ago, they put it in at the front of this Department of Homeland Security, like trapbeat.
	I think they had like, I'm not sure if they had like young boy labor, whatever they had, but it was uh it was kind of it was ridiculous.
	And the video was a girl who walked up to me in a parking lot, and she had said, Hey, my friend just got deported.
	What do you have to say?
	Or do you have a message from?
	I can't remember what it was.
	And I was just like, bye, you know, and I didn't know if it was real or not.
	I had no idea.
	I was just joking around.
	It's a stranger came up to me in a parking lot.
	I think it was after a show, and there were some people gathered around and we were just kind of like um BSing and taking uh pictures and just kind of uh associating, right?
	So anyway, long story short, that happens.
	So this video goes mega viral, 25 million, 30 million views.
	It's everywhere.
	And the front of the D of that homeland security video, it's on the White House thing, it's on everything.
	It's it's everywhere.
	And the first 10 seconds of it are me, right?
	Like, I don't have anything to do with this shit.
	Nobody asks me about it.
	Um, you know, uh, like nobody said, hey, this is gonna happen.
	Like, and and I have a lot of different thoughts about immigration, right?
	They're like showing people getting arrested.
	Like it's just an intense thing.
	Like, and why is the government even making these?
	I don't know.
	I, but that's where we're at in the world.
	And I have a lot of thoughts about immigration, right?
	I have a ton of them.
	And we don't need to go into them all right now.
	I've talked about them on other episodes.
	Um I feel like they're doing a lot of bookkeeping in the country right now because we're gonna get into a surveillance state, and everyone is gonna have to be on the books, right?
	So that's where I believe that we're headed.
	Um, but this was just wild, you know, and people are like sending messages and like hateful stuff, and you know, you think all these illegals should and all this type of shit, and like I could talk to you ad nauseum about that, but this wasn't the time for it.
	It just was something that they used and put out there and everybody saw, right?
	So I'm getting a ton of hateful stuff, and and and and I'm trying to remember everything.
	I'm trying to kind of remember everything right now.
	And um, but this video goes everywhere, and I'm getting like a lot of like, dude, what the fuck?
	Just all kind of shit, right?
	Like my phone just blew.
	I'm like, what the hell?
	It's just like the last thing I needed, right?
	There's a week left to this special.
	Um, and this happens.
	You know, this thing comes out.
	And my father immigrated here from Nicaragua, right?
	Like one of my prized possessions is I have his immigration papers when he came here.
	Um, and I have them in a frame and um him and his uh siblings when they came here.
	And so I have tons of thoughts about it.
	But this was just fucked up, right?
	It was fucked up.
	And it was everywhere.
	It was like on all platforms and stuff.
	So that had me really kind of paranoid.
	You know, that had me start to get kind of paranoid and um, you know, like closing, like, you know, I had the curtains in my house kind of closed.
	I was just like, you know, you're paranoid.
	I woke up the next morning.
	Sorry, I need some water.
	I woke up the next morning to a text from a high government official saying, hey, if you need uh some extra security in your neighborhood, um, or some extra police cars on patrol, let me know.
	And I'm like, what?
	What are you talking about?
	Extra security.
	I don't have any, like, you know, I don't even know the code to my ring camera.
	Like, I don't even know how to log in.
	So it's like, and then and like what you're just gonna put police cars in my neighborhood.
	What are my neighbors gonna think?
	Now they're fearful, like it just like I don't know, man.
	That that like really kind of shook me.
	It really kind of shook me.
	Um but you just you keep marching on, you know, and you start getting security, and then now, but now you have security, right?
	And the thing is, you just don't know.
	You just don't know.
	Right.
	There was a moment on the like it was White House, because the White House also put this out.
	Thank you, White House.
	Um, that look, I'm all for like the board, I'm all for tighter boards.
	I'm all for like accurate knowing who's on.
	I'm all for knowing who is in a country.
	I'm all for knowing what's in the cupboard of a society.
	I think you should know every, I think you should know every item on the log.
	I think it should be known, right?
	I do now.
	How do you get there?
	That's the bigger question.
	And we don't have to discuss that today, right?
	It's not about that.
	Um and sorry I'm going slow here.
	I'm trying to piece this together.
	So now I have this thing with security, but then you get a security person, and they now you're if you're walking on a security guy, then that's kind of uncomfortable.
	Because now you're like, it kind of makes you spooked.
	You're like, well, what's going on?
	So there's just like all of that's happening, and then we get to just the job, the job, right?
	Like, which is performing, speaking in front of strangers.
	Like you had just seen this thing with Charlie Kirk, right?
	It's like we all watch somebody get lit up.
	We all watch somebody Get murdered casually on our phones, right?
	Like, and I don't mean to say it like that, but that's how it all came across to us.
	There's no warning on a lot of video you see, and like so just a lot of uh I think unnecessary pressure, a lot of stress going on that I did some of it I was aware of, and some of it you just don't know you're aware of it.
	I think you know, because I think like um like you just sometimes you don't know what stress you're holding.
	You know, one day there was a I got a uh a call from a friend of mine, and they said they were going into uh rehab, and I just started balling, right?
	And I didn't realize that there was a part of me that was waiting to hear that from them, and that it uh it really made me feel some type of way, you know.
	So sometimes it's like you just don't know what stresses you're holding.
	Anyway, uh so anyway, we so we get to the the shows, right?
	We're there, and it's a lot, you know, it's a lot, there's a lot of like last minute choices to be made.
	Um it seemed to go messier than the past specials that I'd taped, right?
	It seemed to be a lot more confusion, and it all could have been just kind of my perception, right?
	Because what started to happen was on this day I was starting to feel uh a little bit like I don't know if manic is the word.
	I don't know what manic means.
	I've said manic, but I don't manic meaning.
	Let me see.
	What does it mean when someone is manic?
	Oh, it says trying to meet man's.
	That's the first one.
	Like, this is fucking, see.
	This is how bad shit's gotten.
	You're you know, you're trying to figure out if you have some sort of an anxiety disorder, and next thing you know, you're getting damn emails from a uh a local men's bar or whatever.
	It is defined as an extremely unstable euphoric or irritable mood along with an excessive activity or energy level.
	Okay.
	Excessively rapid, thought and speech.
	I probably could have used a little more of that.
	Um I think I started to feel kind of mildly manic.
	I think it was just being off the medication.
	I think uh, and it wasn't insane, it was just little things.
	Like the second I got on stage the first show, my I couldn't feel any moisture in my mouth.
	And I started to feel like um, you ever remember that feeling if you were in high school when you got high, and then you were standing there talking to your friends, and you were just too high, and you were just literally standing there just trying to pretending to be yourself a little bit.
	So I had a little bit of that going on.
	Uh and it started off choppy.
	The first show, it started off kind of choppy.
	We could we were doing like a new intro with Joey Diaz at the last minute, and he was pretty goomed up, you know, he's Coco, and uh, and it was a blessing that he was there, but we hadn't ran through it.
	And so it just like a lot of um like things at the last minute.
	But yeah, I'm on stage, and the second half of the first show went good.
	And there were some beats that I got that had like an emotional piece to them that I wanted, and that felt exciting.
	But but the whole show, it was it was uh there were parts where I would I just couldn't remember the next thing.
	I couldn't remember like my next sequence.
	Like I was having trouble just keeping track of stuff, and that's when I really was like, oh man, I'm uh I'm just off tonight.
	You know, I just you know, it it just like I'm just off tonight.
	Um I think I remember saying to the audience, like, thank you guys just for being here for me, you know.
	Like uh, and and the audience was cool, man.
	People were were happy to be there.
	They were super stoked when I came out.
	I started to feel bad that I wasn't giving them the best show, but the show ended up going a little bit long, blah, blah, blah.
	We get to halftime or in between the two shows, and Chris Rock is backstage.
	He's there.
	My favorite, right?
	Like, I mean, I see Chris Rock smile, and you just feel like this gonna be good.
	You know, this is it's almost like when you know, somebody that was good in class at making a good joke, and then you see him, and you're like, oh, the Michael Jordan has arrived, you know, like that thing, like um, so anyway, seeing him, and it kind of like I kind of I was like almost way so excited about seeing him.
	Like I was very excited, but then I realized I was kind of over excited.
	Um he enjoyed the show, you know.
	And so I went into the second show feeling like, okay, I gotta figure some of this out.
	I couldn't tell if people were like being like legit, like, okay, was it good?
	Was it bad?
	What was going on?
	And then I took an ice bath between the shows.
	I was doing my yoga.
	The same usual stuff I do.
	Anyway, sorry, I know this is getting long, but uh, and then we did the second show, and the second show started out fire.
	First 22 minutes, we're cooking, and then I just couldn't remember stuff.
	And we didn't put a teleprompter.
	We like we've done it for other specials, we didn't do it, and that was a bad choice.
	I don't know if I probably made the choice for sure.
	I don't remember.
	But so I had to ask for how, you know, I was like having to ask off stage because I wanted to get everything in sequence.
	You know, and I think I got stuck on this like sequence thing, and um, and it was just hard, man.
	It just I, you know, I just did it, I didn't feel like myself.
	I felt like I was trying to kind of pretend to be myself.
	And it wasn't insane or extreme.
	It just was it.
	And we got to the end of the show, and we were standing around afterwards with the uh producers and the director, my friend Kevin, and just like did we get it?
	You know, did we get it?
	Excuse me.
	Did we get it good enough?
	You know, because I I've I want this special to be, you know, you know, you you do the material for so long.
	And my buddy Neil Brennan said this the other day before it.
	He said, uh, I got a hair in my eyes today.
	He said, dude, this is the last time you'll ever spend with this material.
	You know, it's really the last time you'll probably ever do it.
	And this material's been great, it's been a friend of me over the years.
	It's been, you know, it's taking me around the world.
	You know, it's gotten me to see a lot of people that uh love me and that I love.
	Um so that was just a neat sentiment of a way to like embrace the material and stuff.
	But I was just at the end of the night, I was like, I don't know if we got it.
	And they're like, yeah, well, let's edit together something and see.
	And I was like, okay, but I just I don't, I couldn't feel the magic, you know.
	I just was off.
	And that was it.
	We left the show, we left the theater.
	Um we took pictures.
	I, you know, I went up by the stage at the end of the, at the end of each show and were like taking pictures of people that are sitting there.
	And um, and that's when some girl, there was a clip of me.
	Um, the which I think this is what really like this is what made things ridiculous.
	Uh where in passing, I just was like, or I don't know if it was in passing.
	I haven't seen the clip, honestly, and I haven't been online.
	Um I woke up the next day to like a bunch of things, like, bro, what's up, or things like that.
	And I was like, oh my God.
	You know, what's going on?
	Like, did you know, did I, you know, did I steal somebody's horse?
	Did I hit somebody with a vehicle?
	You know, what I have no idea, you know, it was just kind of alarming.
	Um, and then a buddy of mine sent me a clip, and I could just see the outside as like uh you could see me on stage, and then people were asking me about suicide, and I was like, oh God.
	You know.
	Um, and I don't even remember exactly what I said, but I I can certainly see me saying something like, oh, just try not to take my own life, you know.
	Um, which I understand it's not a joke to some people, right?
	It's not a joke to me.
	Uh, but it is something that I'll you know, I'll say stuff sometimes.
	I say stuff, right?
	I you know, you know that.
	If you've listened to this show before or seen anything, you know I say stuff.
	Um I would never take my own life.
	I would never take my own life.
	Okay.
	You hear that is real.
	I would never take my own life.
	I'm grateful to God uh for his grace in my life.
	Um I love my siblings.
	Um I have so many friends and people that love me and people that I want to see their children grow up.
	I'm hopeful, I'm hopeful that I get to have a wife and meet my and meet my own children one day.
	Like there's a ton of things in my life that keep me alive and hopeful, right?
	I want to be able to have an impact in the world.
	Um those are just a few of them, probably, you know.
	I mean, so many just moments we've shared on this show that I'm like, oh, I live for those things.
	You know.
	I mean, I want to see Vandy win a uh a championship.
	So I'm gonna have to be alive for a long time, you know what I'm saying?
	Type shit.
	Uh so but anyway, so anyway, that was, you know, so I woke up to that, and I was like, oh man.
	Um I guess I had like a lot of different uh well, in addition to that, people wrote articles, oh, this is bad.
	And look, it wasn't great.
	I didn't love it.
	And I had a lot of people that said it was great, though.
	Like I had people say, dude, we loved it.
	It was great.
	So, but I didn't think it was, I didn't think it was perfect, you know, for sure.
	But I thought, let's just look at the edit and see.
	Um, and so we still haven't decided we might shoot it again at some point.
	I don't know what's gonna go on.
	But there was just this energy now where it was like everybody started checking on me, and uh, I was like, oh man, this is tough.
	And yeah, and there's people that would think like, oh, well, he failed, or who want to write up write up something that says he failed or make a meme.
	I saw one thing it said uh uh bombs Netflix or whatever taping or whatever.
	Awesome.
	Thank you, dude.
	Um but homie, I was fucking in that bitch, cuz you should have seen me, dog.
	You should have seen me.
	You know, you ever see that show dog?
	And a lot of times you'll see that dog show.
	And it's that uh weast aminst.
	I think it's we stemminsta.
	The weast of minsta dog show.
	You see that bitch, boy, and they got some dogs in that bitch.
	And then they got that other bruh.
	They got that other little uh that little, I mean, this bitch is just a little thought while or this bitch, you know.
	They got that little male thought while rolling up.
	You're like, damn, that little bit.
	You know, he got a little maybe an anklet on or something.
	Maybe he got a house arrest bracelet on his tail, but that bitch is in there.
	And they like, damn, he ain't supposed to be here.
	But he's over there, he's listening to DMX, we ride.
	And uh all the other dogs got all them crazy tricks, and he just fucking he'll gamble on his phone real quick or do something like that.
	Or he'll fucking run a parlay or something on his phone.
	And that's his trick.
	And he'll smoke a Virginia Slim right there and hit that bitch.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So anyway, what I'm saying is, bitch, I'm out there.
	I'm in the ring, bro.
	And I failed so many times, you could write well, bruh.
	Write what you want, big dog.
	Write what you want.
	It wasn't perfect, man.
	I'll agree to that.
	And if, you know, and if uh I've gotten so used to times I have failed, it's okay.
	I eat failure for breakfast, but I'm fucking, you fill me up with failure flakes over the years, kids.
	And it's okay, man.
	That's part of the job.
	The first 10 years of doing comedy is failure.
	So much of my life, the the best things that have ever happened on my life have been on the other side of failure.
	And yeah, it would be great if one day we could all live in a space where we all, you know, we lived in a neighborhood where everybody, when they went out in the world, they was potentially gonna fail, boy.
	We riding right on the edge, baby.
	You know, and that we admired that about each other.
	Um so anyway, I'm not looking to like downplay or make it, you know, we might reshoot it again, we'll see what happens.
	And um, and that's it, you know.
	Because you don't, if you don't like, if you're not on that risk of failing, I don't know what I'm gonna be.
	If I'm not on that risk of failing, I don't know what I'm gonna be.
	It's like a bulb, you know, a plant bulb.
	If you saw like a plant bulb is kind of brave, right?
	Like a uh a floral bulb, right?
	Because if he just stays a bulb, he's just that little green little monster, right?
	That little nugget.
	But if when he blasts open, you don't he don't know what he's gonna get out that bitch, bro.
	He might be a rose, he might be a default uh defadil, brother.
	He might be a um, he might be a damn uh succubus or whatever.
	He might be a gladioli.
	He you don't know when you pop that top, what you're gonna get out of yourself.
	Imagine you walk through the woods and all the flowers are just just loaked out.
	They all just in hiding, bro.
	They're all in witness protection program bulbs.
	But nah, they took that shot.
	Pow, bitch.
	So anyway, I don't know if I'm if I'm rambling or just fluffing my own ego.
	But um, so that was it, man.
	And there was a video about, you know, and that that and so that stuff happened, and but then the thing that like made everything hectic was uh someone recorded a video of me making a passive comment, joking around about um about suicide.
	And I didn't even mean to.
	I didn't know people were recording me at that time.
	I don't think, or I don't think that they are anymore.
	And I think I got to evolve in my own head that that's how things are now.
	So and another thing had happened, I didn't even tell anybody this, but I went to the doctors like a couple weeks ago.
	This was like I think two days after the Charlie Kirk shit.
	I went to the doctors, and uh, and I'm in the doctor room, and it's just me and a nurse, and she comes in and I'm talking about, you know, I gotta get a checkup and everything where they do you nuts or whatever, you know.
	And so I'm talking, you know, we're talking about body and everything, and uh, you know, um, you know, talking about genitals or whatever, right?
	And body.
	And so we have this conversation, and then the nurse she says, after, she says, uh, and she's like, hey, I brought I brought something for you.
	And I'm like, huh?
	And she's like, I brought something for you.
	And it really spooked me, bro, because I'm in a doctor's office, right?
	This is a place where you think you can be safe.
	And um, and man, that was a that was a tough moment.
	My mom was in town, and after that I remember sitting in my car, uh sitting in my car with her, and I kind of got a little teared up because I was like, oh man, no place is kind of safe anymore, you know.
	And the the the girl just wanted to do something nice, right?
	I think she wanted to give me something, I don't know.
	But it was just that invasiveness of like, man, this is like supposed to be a very private place.
	And I mentioned it to the doctor, and then I even, you know, I made sure that the nurse didn't feel like bad, you know.
	She's just trying to be a nice person.
	You know, I believe that her motors were in a good place.
	Um I don't hold any ill will against her.
	But it was just like uh, I don't know, there was just a lot of little things that were adding up to stress.
	And so, um, yeah, that's what happened.
	Um it's just been like I've had so many people reach out, so thank you so much.
	I've had so many people say nice things.
	I can't believe like to me, it felt very kind of like in passing.
	Um, and then I was just kind of burnt out.
	Uh but just know that I'm never I'm never at a place like that.
	You know, I'm far from a place like that.
	You know, there may have been times when I was a kid or something where I had some negative, you know, some stuff was scary.
	But yeah, I'm gonna be here.
	I'm gonna be here.
	You're gonna be here, and we're gonna be here together, like we always been.
	And um, and that was it.
	There was nothing else to the evening.
	We tried like to really keep things together.
	Um there was no drug issue.
	There was no like, I mean, when Coco showed up, there was smoking, you know, it's like, but there was no uh there wasn't like it was just there was just like just the fuse was short going into it.
	The fuse was short going into it.
	I remember right when we got to the theater.
	Some guy was supposed to show me to my dressing room.
	He took me on like a seven-minute journey out into the fucking caverns of some building.
	I don't even know where we were.
	We were like, there was like teenies meeting and turtles there.
	And I was like, oh fuck, I'm already.
	This is I could feel my fuse being pretty low.
	Uh so I still tried.
	I think they're looking back, maybe I should have like pulled the core.
	You know, I don't know though.
	I, you know, you don't you don't kind of know until you know where you until where you are, you know, and so I don't think I would have done anything different.
	I made all the choices.
	I didn't realize how much stress I had, and that's it.
	Um, but I do want to I do want to say this about suicide, right?
	Like, you know, a friend of mine, a close friend of mine.
	Uh years ago, his sister um was dealing with a lot of stuff.
	She was dealing with a lot of stuff.
	And she couldn't say she was having trouble talking about it, like, you know, she was having trouble talking about it.
	She didn't want to bother people.
	Um she finally told a member of their family, and they didn't want to worry everybody in the family with it.
	And so they kind of told the rest of the family that she had mono, and so she was suffering.
	Uh and then like within a year, she had taken her own life, right?
	She just couldn't handle where she was at.
	And I think it's and I just want to say her name, Christianne, and just let her know that people think of her and that her brothers love her, and that um and that she's an angel out in the universe keeping tabs on people.
	And that's a beautiful thing.
	Um, but I think about that story from my from my buddy sometimes, and it's like I think people get stuck in a space where they're like, yeah, I'm gonna bother somebody if I tell or I've already told my friends so many times, and I'm not doing good.
	I don't none of that stuff matters.
	It's like however you have to speak up about something if you have to, um I think it's worth trying to trying more.
	You know, and I don't know if that means anything.
	I'm just saying, yeah, I don't know what I'm saying.
	I think I just wanted to uh just have a moment and just let it be known that um that that young lady is missed.
	I think maybe that's something that I just wanted to think about out loud.
	And that however you have to say something, say it.
	But I was just joking, man, and I know it's not something to joke about, and I get that, and I appreciate all like the beautiful concern in the thank yous and like just the outpouring.
	I just started feeling like God, I don't even know how to tell everybody that I was just joking.
	Um, and I joke about some dark stuff sometimes and I joke about everything, and uh, I think that's what makes you able to do comedy sometimes.
	I don't know.
	I don't want to like look at myself too much like that because that gets kind of ego-y, but um, but yeah, I'll be here forever.
	And we gotta see how this fucking circus goes, you know.
	We gotta see how this short giraffe balls out.
	So I love you.
	And uh, and thank you for loving me.
	I could it would take me forever to thank everybody for the nice messages.
	It really would.
	Um, but gosh, I'm fine.
	Don't treat me weird, don't be weird.
	I'm not weird, I'm chill, you're good.
	We riding, bro.
	We ride, bro.
	Type shit, boy.
	Um, let's get to a few calls that came in here.
	Um, and maybe we'll keep it in this space.
	Let me see what we got right here.
	Here's one right here.
	Let's get to it.
	You know, I've always had a money goal.
	Have me a goal, get me some money, achieve that goal.
	That's been it.
	I wanted to go to Antarctica or Antarta Rica.
	That's what I used to think it was called, and it sounded more tropical when you say it like that.
	But later I found out it was freezing and you're not allowed, so had to change it up.
	But what I'm talking about is having a money goal.
	Acorns helps you grow towards the money goals you have today and the ones you'll have tomorrow.
	Acorns makes it easy to start doing more with your money.
	In fact, you can start automatically investing with just your spare change.
	I just got my nephew set up, so his spare changes accumulating while he's just doing his little life.
	Sign up now and join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over 25 billion dollars with acorns.
	Plus, acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment.
	Offer available at acorns.com slash T H E O. That's A C O R N S dot com slash Theo to get your $20 bonus investment today.
	Paid not deposited acorns.
	You can just at Acorn.com slash T H E O. You know, sometimes I feel like my brain just kind of leaves the building.
	Just on it, just like a school child at 3 p.m.
	They hear that bell.
	Whoo, boy.
	And when my brain starts to check out, you gotta ask yourself, do I get me another coffee?
	What do I do?
	Do I have somebody tick on me?
	What do I do?
	There's a new option.
	That's neuro gum and mints.
	Neuro gives you clean, focused energy without the crash, sugar, or sketchy ingredients.
	For me, it's the easiest upgrade I've made to my routine.
	Swapping in the neuro.
	Because I like gum.
	I like having me something in my mouth.
	I like my mouth staying busy and just occupado.
	A Spanish for busy.
	Neuro Energy and Focus is powered by natural green tea caffeine.
	L theanine for calm focus and vitamin B12 and B6 for better mood and metabolism.
	They've also got caffeine-free options, memory and focus gum with American ginseng.
	Yeah.
	That's a mental bump without the jitters right there.
	They've also got sleep and recharge mints with melatonin and chamomile.
	Helps you wind down at night without gummies that taste like melted jolly ranchers.
	For a limited time, you can get 20% off your first order at neurogum.com by using code Theo.
	That's neurogum.com and use code T H E O for 20% off your first order.
	You can also find Neuro at CVS and Amazon.
	You know, uh I've noticed over the years of how much it takes to make something go.
	You know, you can't you can't just uh put a steering wheel and tie it to a couple wheels, and then you got an automobile.
	You can't just put a business idea and open a website and then you got a business.
	You gotta put in the time.
	And I remember when we started podcasting, we uh we wanted to have a merch shop so somebody could get them a little item, little tank top, little tankini or something to support the brand.
	But things started to get busy and and and and and uh and the growth was outpacing the uh attention we were given it, and we needed help.
	Thankfully, Ship Station was there.
	Ship station centralizes your shipping tasks into one easy platform, and their rate browser automatically finds you the best rates across more than two hundred carriers at discounts up to ninety percent.
	That's right.
	And you can automate repetitive or tedious tasks to save time and reduce errors.
	You can even create custom automations just for your workflow.
	Upgrade to the shipping software that does more than keep up with your business.
	Ship station propels it forward.
	Start your 60 day free trial at ShipStation.com slash T H E O. That's Shipstation.com slash Theo.
	As always, you know this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
	Hey, I've needed help.
	We've all needed it.
	I've gotten it on and off over the years.
	I've gotten it at times.
	I've gotten it from BetterHelp themselves.
	I remember I was out there driving, I was on an S curve, and I it was just too much.
	I was in a uh four speed or maybe a three speed Ford Escort.
	I couldn't handle it.
	Had to pull over and just call.
	God, I need some help.
	And bam, there they were.
	Better help.
	Better help therapists have helped over five million people worldwide on their mental health journeys.
	That's millions of stories, millions of journeys, and behind everyone is a therapist who showed up, listened, and helped someone take a step forward.
	This world mental health day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions Of people, take a step forward.
	If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey.
	Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash T H E O. That's better, H E L P dot com slash Theo.
	Here's one right here.
	Let's get to it.
	Theo.
	My name is Tom, and I've called a number of times.
	Um What's up, Tom, brother?
	Thank you for calling, man.
	Um, thank you for calling back.
	Uh onward.
	Um I just want to thank you again for everything that you do.
	Just for being real for not being too good for anybody and a spot line, bro.
	I'm sure it means a lot to a lot of people.
	Lost my son a year and a half ago to suicide.
	And um it was tough, man.
	Um I still have nightmares and visions of just seeing that finding that and I don't know, man, it's hard to talk about.
	But I found your show about I'd say four months after that happened.
	And when I tell you that you gave me a reason to laugh for the first time since it ever since it happened.
	You did, bro.
	And I gotta say that being an addict and being clean for the last five and a half years, it would have been real easy to use that as an excuse to go back.
	But um I didn't.
	And I truly believe that God, number one, and just being able to laugh again kept me free.
	And I feel like honestly saved my life, brother, and I appreciate it.
	I love you.
	I love what you do.
	Thank you for everything.
	Praise God, man.
	Thank you, Tom.
	Thank you, brother.
	I'm so sorry to hear about your son.
	I bet he misses you, and I bet he loves you, and they may not even have feelings over there where you miss people.
	I bet it's just pure love.
	But um, but I'm sorry.
	Uh I'm sorry, I can't even.
	There's not a word I could give you, you know.
	Except that I'm happy to hear your voice today.
	You know, and thanks.
	Uh thanks for letting me make thanks thank you for letting me be a part of your laughter.
	You know, sometimes when I'm like in pain and stuff, I won't even let people make me laugh, kind of.
	It's like, you know that stuff when you're like young or something or something's rough, and you want to laugh, and it's like um you won't let somebody make you laugh.
	It's like almost out of posterity and stuff.
	Um but man, thank you, bro.
	Thank you just for sharing that story today and for letting us have a moment to remember him.
	I don't even know what he looks like, you know, but I'm just going to remember a sweet soul that loved his father and that was trying his best in the world.
	Amen.
	Yeah, that's cool.
	That's cool.
	He seems like a he feels like a neat kid.
	So thank you so much, Tom, for sharing that with us today.
	Um let's hear another, let's hear another call.
	We'll take one more here.
	What do we got here?
	Hey, what's up, Theo?
	My name is Lane.
	What's up, Lane, baby?
	And you hear a lot about that lane, baby.
	The HOV lane, brother, that threesome, huh?
	Let's hear more about it.
	And uh I just want to call in and give my son a shout out.
	His name is Matthew, he's three years old, and he's finishing chemo for the second time.
	And uh I just want to ask go.
	Let me catch his name again.
	I just want to call in and give my son a shout out.
	His name is Mateo, he's three years old, and he's finishing chemo for the second time.
	And uh I just want to ask for a prayer, brother.
	You know, a prayer that I said don't come back.
	Prayer from the community.
	And uh Yeah, shout out to my wife for holding us down for this hard time.
	And I want to speak into existence.
	You know, fuck it.
	I'm gonna do some stand-up comedy.
	You know, you do you've been a big inspiration.
	So shout out to you too, Vio.
	Peace.
	Oh, well, thank you.
	Thank you.
	Thank you for the call, man.
	Yeah.
	I'm sorry.
	Uh I'm I'm sorry.
	I'm I'm I'm I'm glad your son is being a warrior.
	You know, I'm glad you're here speaking uh prayer towards your son.
	Um I'm glad you're requesting prayer.
	Um I'm glad that uh that you're reminding us it's okay, it's okay to call others and ask for prayer and ask for uh uh energy, you know.
	God, we forget that.
	I forget that all the time.
	I forget that all the time.
	Um yeah, let's I'll say a prayer right now.
	Uh God, we lift up Matte Mateo to you, and uh and just keep his smile hopeful and keep him cancer free, God.
	Um and let him have the joy that he wants in the world.
	Uh and we lift up his mother to you, God, and just all the all the energy you continue to give her and all the mothers out there who who um who have to deal with children who are suffering with illnesses.
	Um, that can be a heavy, a heavy burden.
	Uh and we give thanks, God, that in witnessing other people triumph and witnessing the hit this man witnessing his young son uh battle through chemotherapy,
	that it inspires him to go out and do things that inspires him to take on things that uh like if he wants to do comedy or he wants to sing or he wants to do a um backflip online or whatever he wants to do, you know, that it inspires him, that it pushes him through any potential failure, you know.
	Because failure is just a little bit of bootleg fear, that's all that shit is.
	That's all that's aftermarket fear, cut.
	But God, we lift him up, man.
	Man, that's inspiring.
	And it's inspiring to see a little three-year-old fella out there waddling around, ringing that chemo, that cancer-free bell out there.
	Him and Randy Moss out there ringing that bitch.
	That's beautiful, man.
	And I lift up my buddy MK, man.
	There's a friend of mine named MK, and his wife and uh their family is dealing with uh a lot of tragedy right now.
	Their brother um her brother got shot.
	And I don't know even the situation right now, but um, but yeah, I just want to lift him up, God, and just let his heart know that he's not alone and let her heart know, and and her brother's heart know that they're not alone, that people are thinking of them.
	And uh yeah.
	So in your name we pray, amen, man.
	Um I think we did pretty good today.
	This is as good as I can do today, guys.
	You know, I appreciate you.
	I appreciate again all the warm messages.
	I'm sorry I rambled a lot about um what happened in New York City, but I wanted to take a few days to kind of digest it because it was all out of my con it was like it wasn't all out of my control, but there was a lot of stuff going on.
	I'm like, some of this is real, some of this is not.
	Um and I don't like to take any action when I'm a little bit tired.
	You know, um so I want to thank the people that did come out to the show.
	And uh it was it was what it was, boy.
	At that we smith stuff, bruh.
	Um, but thank you.
	Thank you to anybody that's come out to my show.
	Thank you to anybody that's just been supportive, that's been a part of this group.
	We're good.
	We're good here.
	We're good here.
	Thank you.
	I'm not here.
	Uh I uh uh we're good here.
	And um and I'm looking forward to actually taking some time off.
	I just want to do things that are fun for me.
	I want to spend time around my friends and stuff like that.
	And then at the same time, I gotta get a little bit of space.
	Sometimes I spend so much time like on my phone, these things like just texting, so many things that are just kind of like I just want to be able to uh have a little bit of peace for myself, and I deserve it, right?
	And I deserve it.
	We all deserve it, and um, so yeah, I want to thank everybody for their calls.
	I want to thank everybody for their care.
	I want to thank everybody for their calls, sharing uh their own words and um and stories and uh um on the hotline.
	And um, I did get back on my medication.
	I want people to know that.
	You know, I'm not worried about that kind of stuff.
	Uh you know, and maybe one day I'll be able to be off of it, you know.
	I'm gonna make sure that I work with a doctor if I if I think about that again.
	Um, but one day it would be nice to you know be able to kind of have all your feelings, you know, in a manageable way, and um to have all of your feelings, you know.
	So um, all right.
	Thank you guys so much.
	And uh man, we got a lot of life to look forward to.
	I believe that, and I know you do too.
	And uh, yeah, you guys be good to yourselves.
	I'm gonna do the same thing, okay?
	I promise.
	All right.
	I'm upstairs.
	Gang, baby.
	Now I'm just falling on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be caught a stone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found.
	I can feel it in my bones.

▲