Jim Jefferies is a stand up comedian, podcaster and actor. His tenth special “Two Limb Policy” is streaming now on Netflix.
Jim returns to the show to talk about the fragile friendship between Australia and America, the legend of “Chopper” Read, and how meeting his disabled fans inspired his new special.
Jim Jefferies: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies/
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He just released his tenth stand-up comedy special on Netflix.
It's called Two Limb Policy.
We actually want to dedicate this episode to his nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent.
Thank you for your service, sir.
Today's guest is the one and only Jim Jeffrey.
Come on.
I'm going to go.
How have you been?
How are you doing with things?
I'm alive, man.
What am I?
I feel like I'm stressed out a lot, but it's okay.
I just have to slow things down a little bit for myself.
And then I just, I think sometimes you get busy and it's hard to, like, see what you're doing.
You know, you're just going.
And I think some of that's just life.
As you get older, you're just going.
And you're like, am I still walking in the direction I want to be in?
Or what's even going on, you know?
Well, look, the first time we worked together, per se, was on a pilot for Comedy Central.
We were watching some slam poetry.
Oh yeah.
That was good.
And now fucking look at you.
You're interviewing the top people in the world, man.
So, yes, you're going in the right direction, Theo.
I wouldn't be too nervous about how your life's going.
You know, take the good with the bad and keep fucking riding the wave, brother.
Yeah, thanks, man.
Yeah, I think it's just more like, yeah, you just get going.
You're like, what the fuck?
Where?
How old am I?
What am I doing?
You know, you're just like, it's just life.
Life gets going like that, man.
Yours has changed a lot since I saw you.
You had a child.
You have autism.
Well, autism is such a hard thing to put your finger on, isn't it?
know what i mean like like i might just be an asshole you know people say so you know i had i had one doctor say oh we think that you're on the spectrum and thing but there's such a rainbow of where you can be and what you know, you could be functioning to completely unfunctioning, needing help all your life.
So, look, you know, when I was a kid they tried to go, you have attention deficit disorder and then dyslexia, I'm positive, autism, I'm pretty sure on, I don't think I had attention deficit disorder.
I was just filled full of riddle and as a child that okay.
But yes, I have had another kid since I've seen you.
I've got a I've got a 12-year-old and a 4-year-old and I've sobered up even more importantly since we last saw you.
I haven't had a drink in close to five years.
Oh, congratulations., dude.
How's that changed?
I mean, that must have changed everything.
I still partake in weed.
So I'm not sober, sober.
So I don't want to preach that I am completely sober anymore.
But you don't drink.
I haven't had a drink or a cigarette in years.
It happened during COVID.
I started drinking at home.
And I used to have a policy that I'd only drink at work.
You know, which is the opposite of most things.
It's obviously an Irish policy.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, I can drink at work, you know, because I can have a couple of beers before a show and I can have a couple of, you know, spirits after the show.
And, and, and, you know, you can go and drinkessing room in the comedy store and say give me a vodka red bull or whatever if you're a bit tired or something and then when covet happened i started drinking at home and uh excessively like how early like were you getting up and cracking one oh yeah i was i was getting right into it and then and then my wife gets pregnant and she's not drinking and i was probably quite unpleasant to live with and i thought uh out of solidarity i won't drink with her you know and then you know look i i i
very clearly had a drinking problem and and it played out in front of people so many times you know i had my third special we're here to promote my tenth special uh two limb policy out on Netflix right now.
But my third special was called Fully Functional.
And it was all about how I had given up alcohol and I was, you know, fully functional and I was doing comedy sober.
And then I was drunk in the next one.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
And so it's very hard.
And I've watched people do this that are in the limelight where you go, I'm giving up drinking.
And you put a big flag in the ground and you say, I'm a non-drinker.
And then you let everyone down.
Yeah.
You know, you let everyone down when you slip up and all that type of stuff.
So I kept the first bit of my sobriety sort of for myself until I came out of COVID.
I was a couple of years in before I started telling people.
And now.
But now I don't really miss it.
I tell you what, I missed a cigarette.
I went and saw Oasis in concert and they were playing cigarettes and alcohol and people were lighting up in Wembley Stadium and just like there's so many people smoking.
Security wasn't doing fuck all.
Yeah.
And I was like, yeah, I wanted to light up more than I ever had.
But I pushed through that.
You know, and I had a tragedy in my life I didn't smoke because they always say with smokers they go, you're always a smoker when the chips are down.
Yeah.
Right?
And I had a big tragedy in my life and I didn't light up.
So I think I've kicked well i hope i have so it kind of taught you a lesson or at least show you you had some progress or something right there dude yeah i remember like because in one of your specials i distinctly remember you like having a beer and getting through your beer pretty quick.
And then, like, I even remember, I think there was one where there was a couple of glasses sitting on a table, like empty glasses.
I think people thought this was a thing.
And one of my special, I had a big wooden box on the thing.
And I would pull a beer from out of the wooden box and the crowd would cheer each time because, oh, he's bringing out another, he's bringing another.
But we all know you record two shows for a special, right?
You do two performances.
You primarily use one and then maybe edit a joke in that you haven't done or whatever like that.
And so for continuity, we had to hide the pintes behind the box.
So, but we edited in every pint that I did drink.
So it does.
It did it looked like I had a.
I remember it looked like he had a I was like, God, he's like, I think it was'cause it was like six pint in an hour.
You can't.
Like no one's doing six pint in an hour.
I was doing three pint in each hour.
Six pint in an hour seems a little excessive.
It's a lot.
Yeah, it seems like a lot.
You don't drink, right?
How long have you been?
I had probably, I think in my, the most time I had, I probably had six years.
And then I had two, one.
Then I've had like groups of months, you know?
That's exact.
So when I did Fully Function, I had two years, got drunk again, then had a year, and now we're on a five year.
Yeah.
And so, ah.
I don't know if I'll, you know, maybe I'll drink again.
But the problem is every time I've taken drinking back up, every time I've taken it back up, I've been good for six months.
Right.
It's like, it's not like I become like Barney Gumball and take a sip and go, oh, like that.
I'm like, all right, I had two.
I'm good.
And then I think I can handle it.
I think I can handle it.
I think I can handle it.
And then I'm back to what happened.
Wait, I'm a sloppy drunk.
Are you?
Does that mean, is it what comes out of you?
Is it like aggression?
Is it yelling at a neighbor?
Is it racism?
Like, how do you notice it flare up?
It's blackout, man.
I don't remember a single thing.
And so then also when you add fame into the mix and someone will say., hey, I met you and then you did A, B, C or you said this, that, and the other.
You can't even prove them wrong.
And even when it's something where you go, I've never done that.
That doesn't sound like me at all.
I can't remember the night at all.
I was blacking out.
And that's why it sort of got comfortable at home with, who gives a fuck if you black out at home?
Yeah.
Everybody says a virus, people are dying or whatever.
Fat people are coughing to death.
Like, yeah, it's a different time.
But also like when you stop cocaine, you stop cocaine.
I started to look more drunk.
That's when people were getting into me going, you need to take control of your drinking.
And you're like, oh, no, no, no.
I've just given up another thing.
I'm actually in recovery.
this way.
But I just look worse because I'm sweating and I'm, you know, because cocaine keeps you up right.
Yeah.
Yeah, it helps with the posture.
Good for the posture.
Oh, definitely.
You see a guy like, Boom, boom, boom.
Straight up.
Here we go.
I'm back.
I'm a fucking boy.
I, uh, did your kid notice or anything like that or no?
My Yeah, my little boy at that stage would have been about seven.
He knew when I was drunk.
Yeah.
And there were definitely times that he would be like a child out of a movie.
Daddy, are you having a drink again?
Yeah, Daddy.
But you're like, Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, where'd you hear that sentence?
Was that from the lady I gave a house to?
You know what I mean?
But, you know, your daddy, you having a drink.
He laughs about it now.
It sounds like a song.
I think he was just teasing me, really.
I don't think he was ever bothered or upset about it.
Yeah, maybe he just had a really good sense of humor, you know.
He's got a great sense of humor, my boy.
He's got a great sense of humor.
Does he?
Yeah, he does.
I've got nieces and nephews.
obviously my kids and me i've got two brothers and one brother is very nice man has a good sense of humor can't tell a joke to save his life yeah and then i got another brother who's is as funny as me.
And you might not think I'm funny, but like me and him are both the funny ones, right?
Me and him sort of get together like we're in a Jedi council and we decide who's got the gift or not.
When the children are about three or four, you start going, oh, I think it's strong with this one.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So I've got I've got both my boys, I think, happy.
Like guessing if your kids are gay too, they're the same thing.
Yeah, you start to look early, you're going, I don't know about, yeah, maybe, it's all right though, as long as he's happy.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I've got I've got a I've got a couple of out of I won't say who because they might all listen to this.
So out of out of my Five nephews and nieces, two of them have it.
Two of them have it.
I won't say which ones, but they know.
They know who it is.
They know who they are.
Yeah, it's kind of funny to see kids develop and then you start to see their personality.
And then, like, yeah, when they do something that makes you laugh or they have a unique way of looking at things or if they start to seem cool, that's pretty neat.
You're like, Oh, this kid's fucking cool.
That's dope.
I had I was talking about the tragedy.
I don't know why I'm bringing.
Yeah, no, you said that something had happened.
I my nephew died in a helicopter accident.
Oh.
Yeah, and we made the news in Australia and I want to sort of talk about it a little bit because there's been a cover up by.
by what I believe the Australian government.
So I'm getting into conspiracy theory shit now for a while.
But okay, so you can check this online.
My nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent was in a helicopter.
Now, how Australian a death is this?
He crashed a helicopter up near the bit above the Great Barrier Reef for the military and was eaten by sharks.
Like his remains, there was no remains left.
So that's pretty Australian.
You know, that's pretty.
It's a high velocity.
It almost sounds like something that would be sponsored by Red Bull.
Yeah.
You know?
So he was on.
Pretty high velocity.
He was on military war games flying a Taipan helicopter and they were in a group of four flying along.
America was there as well.
There were 30,000 soldiers from all of our allies around the world.
And the helicopter crashes.
So it's a game, it's a competition.
They play basic war games after that.
So in formation, four Taipan helicopters, the helicopter crashes.
They wear these helmets that are completely, it's just like all the readings are in there.
You know, I don't know why they can't just do it in an office like a drone, you know what I mean?
But they're in the helicopter and they're looking at all their things.
The helicopter hits the water.
The four men on the helicopter die instantly.
And within a matter of a couple of weeks, Australia had decommissioned the helicopters, taken them apart and buried them in the desert.
The Ukraine said, we'll take the helicopters.
And the Australians went, no, no, no, no, no, don't you worry about that.
Then my brother and my niece and my sister-in-law had to sit through an inquiry that went on for almost two years.
whether the government was responsible or not, where the test pilot stood up and said that those helmets were defective and would end in industrial manslaughter.
Right.
So this was documented that they hear.
This was documented in the inquiry, right?
It's like watching a few good men like talking about the military and the government trying to cover its ass.
I said they would.
They also, the weather environment, it was raining really badly.
Other countries didn't go out on patrol that day.
They said the weather was too bad.
The soldiers were too tired.
One of the soldiers said that they were so tired they couldn't fly the aircraft.
And then my nephew stepped in to actually do it.
There's just so, and it was just so much bullshit.
And then they made it until they had, I believe, five days to actually put in a civil suit to sue the government or the statute of limitations ran out and the inquiry ended with five day who has five fucking days to get a law they dragged it out on purpose on purpose so that we now i get that the world's going to war well the world's it's we're in a war everyone whether it kicks off more who knows right but
the australian military might be going into a war scene pretty soon right any anything you guys do we'll do as well yeah right um so they can't be paying out every soldier who dies or whatever like that but this was not this was uh uh uh uh war games there was there was things that weren't followed there was things that have been there's literally helicopters that have been buried.
If you want to find an Australian Taipan fucking helicopter, you need a treasure map, mate.
Wow.
So I I just the only reason I'm bringing it up here.
No, let's bring it up if it's right is, is you've got such a big platform, mate.
And I just wanted to sort of get that bit of information out.
You can go on to my Instagram.
I've put up all the clips there, or just Google the accident.
I'm not a big conspiracy theory guy, but it seems pretty shady to me.
And were you able to, were you able to, like, how do you even go about combating that or like getting investigations into this?
I don't know.
I think I'm doing it right now.
Yeah.
I think this is all I can physically do.
At the very least, I'd like my nephew's death not to be forgotten.
I'd like him to be remembered.
And what I've seen my brother go through, you wouldn't put on any parent losing their child, right?
You wouldn't put it on anybody.
Let's bring him a picture of him, mister Nugent.
Max Nugent, Max Nugent, Lieutenant Max.
The thing is, he grew a moustache just before he.
Because he, yeah, because he, there he is.
He looked like he was he looked like he was from the 1940s.
He looked like he had just come back from beating some Germans, didn't he?
He definitely looks like a time traveler.
He was ready to go, old Max.
Hello Max.
That boy, mate, I was I remember when he was born.
And he was one of those guys, he just never disappointed.
Every step along the way, he wanted to be a fighter pilot, but he was 1,60 m.
So I had to go in the helicopters.
Oh, because there's more space in there?
Yeah, a bit more leg space.
Yeah, I could see that.
More leg space.
You don't want to be in a fighter jet and be a real tall guy.
You know, you can't use your legs or something like that.
Yeah, like that.
Or in Maverick.
But he's moving the throttle with his foot.
Did, um, was he your first nephew?
He was my first nephew.
Oh man.
Yeah, I keep getting his age wrong in every interview.
I believe he was 23.
I believe he was 23.
He was very young.
And was he married or not?
He had a girlfriend.
Oh, wow.
But that he had been living with for a very short amount of time.
Oh, yeah, put the house in.
But he was just starting out in life.
He had just gone through all the training and stuff and graduated to be actually become the helicopter pilot and actually be a real, you know, for every, everyone in the military that sees battle, I think there's twelve people behind them who are catering and supplies and this, that and the other.
For soldiers, you know, they're the rock stars, man.
The fighter pilots and the helicopter pilots and stuff.
We were proud of him.
Oh, they're the heroes.
I'm sure you were he looks like somebody very much to be proud of that's why i wanted to get a good look at him where we can honor him when australia goes to war we don't you know that's the first bike we send in we send in the planes and the helicopters that's the first bit of assistance we send in you know like i don't know if you know this but australia's i believe and new zealand i gotta give new zealand credit but australia and new zealand are the only country that have fought alongside you for for uh for over 200 years.
Wow.
Other countries have dipped in and out.
Just for example, Britain never went to Vietnam.
Australia went to Vietnam, right?
We're, we, I don't know if we've been there.
You don't get it.
I don't know if Australia gets enough credit.
Yeah.
It's like Trump slapping fucking tariffs on Australia.
I'm a little bit like, what the fuck are you doing there, man?
Where what are you guys?
Yeah, these are fucking these are fucking our kangaroo mates.
I know you're very popular in Australia.
Yeah, you're going to be.
We had a good time over there, dude.
It was so much fun.
But yeah, I don't understand some of what Trump's energy is about a lot of these types of things, you know?
It's very bizarre, you know?
And I think it's just getting more, it's the government feels further and further away from the people more than ever.
But I think it's nice that countries like yours, a lot of countries have spoken up about what's happening in the Middle East.
And I feel like and have had a voice and to, it's been, um, we're people now recognizing Palestine as a state.
Yeah, to see prime ministers do that, it's important.
You know, like to tariff Australia is pretty weird.
We buy three times more stuff from you than you buy from us.
Why would you?
You know, the big example they gave was Australian beef.
You guys buy $26 billion worth of Australian beef and we buy no beef from you.
And it's like, well, why would we?
We've got the beef you want.
We've already got it.
We've already got it.
That's like me paying for a prostitute and ringing her up the next week and going, I'd like to do it again, but this time you'll pay.
You know what I mean?
Like you've never seen on the bottom of – you see on the bottom of a menu it always says Australian Wagyu.
You've never seen in an Australian restaurant the bottom American beef.
Yeah, like Milwaukee Wagyu or whatever, you know.
Yeah, no, it's like what do you really buy from us?
You buy sheepskin, red wine, beef and gold and diamonds.
stuff it's luxury items yeah you buy luxury items it's not like we're manufacturing fucking happy meal toys in Australia in factories.
And like, like, those are jobs that could go to the Americans.
These aren't jobs that can go to the Americans.
It's our gold.
It's our diamond.
It's our, you know what I mean?
Like, mate, let's see what's here.
Meat and edibles.
Pearls.
Ooh.
Pharmaceutical.
I didn't know that we did that.
That's beautiful.
Who's buying electric equipment from Australia?
Now I would advise against that.
After what's happened with the helmet, after what's happened with my nephew's helmet, don't be buying any Australian Samsung or whatever the fuck we call it.
So let's steer clear from their VR stuff.
We don't need any virtual reality from over there.
Did they have, so they said that his plane went down and then they don't really know what happened?
They said it was pilot error in the end, but they didn't know because the masks invert.
But at the end of the day, the weather wasn't right and they shouldn't have been flying with that.
that like other countries didn't go out and there's meant to be a certain amount of sleep that the soldiers are meant to have before.
And so I was like, oh, look, it was actually turned out to be that my nephew, there were two blakes in the back of the helicopter and the two parts of the front.
And, you know, the first fear you have is, was he experienced enough?
Was he the one holding the controls?
And he wasn't.
It was the more senior pilot that was holding it.
My nephew wasn't holding it at the time.
But I have no ill will to him, of course.
You know, like it's an accident.
You know, my family had to listen to The Black Box, and that took a year before they played that of going in and listening to legal fucking shit going over and over again, and we'll adjourn in a month and we'll do some more and we'll adjourn in a week.
And they spent all their holiday pay and all their days off having to watch, try to get justice for their son.
And then at the end they went, oh, pilot error, you can't sue or anything like that.
There'll be no money paid out.
If you want to sue, you've got five days to get it done, right?
What was your question again?
Sorry.
Okay.
there was another bloke another bloke actually uh driving it but the you know the the the um black box is just really my nephew going oh it's looking a bit dodgy pull up pull up pull up that's all you really get you know you get his final words.
And it's pretty harrowing to have to listen to the final words of someone.
You know, it's not like their words of wisdom, their words of fear right at the end there.
Has it been, man, God, it's so heartbreaking.
Has it been hard to like be a supportive brother after that?
Like, was that, has that been like a challenge or interesting or what is that kind of turning into?
It's not hard, but what is that like?
Because I look, there's a field piece I once did on the Jim Jeffrey Show that shows me and my brother's relationship because he was a police officer and I did a ride along in his car and it was just a lot of me taking the piss out of my brother and he took it in pretty good jest um uh it there's nothing to say when someone's child dies you can just be there and you can just hug them and stuff the only thing i could do was get on a plane right away as soon as soon as i knew you know i mean but in some strange way so
I've got two brothers and those two haven't always gotten along.
They don't dislike each other.
They're just very different blokes.
Yeah, different for sure.
Just different dudes, man.
And it's brought them closer together because when the shit hit the fan, the whole family was there right away.
Everyone was there right away.
I remember going – I got there.
I got on the first plane.
I got there and then my brother was waiting out the front.
My other brother was waiting out the front.
He goes, I don't want to go in before you go in.
I want to go in with you.
He didn't know what to do.
I was terrible.
I'm watching my granddad.
I'm glad my mother's dead for it, to be honest, that she didn't have to be around for it.
What's the matter of living a few more years to see your grandchild die?
You know what I mean?
I know this is meant to be a fun podcast, but I was just like, let's talk about Chris Lilley, man.
Let's talk about fucking Chris Lilley.
Well, my comedy special, Two Lens special coming out.
Yeah, we'll get right into it.
But Max Nugent, thank you so much.
you so much for your service, sir.
And I'm happy to be thinking of you today.
We'll get you know what?
We'll get a nice photo of him if it's okay with you and your brother.
Maybe we can put it here on the desk or something.
Sure.
Would that be okay?
That would be wonderful.
Thank you.
That would mean a lot to me.
That would be cool.
We'd be nice to have him here with that stash too, dude, you know?
He was, yeah, he was great.
He was, he was, it's strange though, I remember thinking when he became, when he went to Duntroon, which is like Sandhurst or I don't know what you call it in what's the big military academy in America?
West Point.
So Duntroon is the equivalent of West Point.
And he didn't get in the first time and he studied and he worked as a bartender or whatever.
then he got in the next time.
And I remember thinking like he was just such a committed lad.
And then he finished really high, top of his grade.
And even though he was my nephew, even though I'm over, you know, 20, I was 25 years older than the bloke.
Yeah.
I looked up to him.
Oh.
You know what I mean?
I looked up to him.
I thought he was kind of like a cool guy.
And in the same way, like I went and did a gig the other day with the Dodgers and I'm like, why am I gushing over some 25 year old lads?
You know what I mean?
But a a fighter pilot who was my nephew my blood was doing that yeah and i looked up to him that' too.
Thank you.
You know?
Thank you.
No, I like getting to think it's important.
Yeah, thank you.
It's important to think about people that mean something to you.
And I believe that people can feel you thinking about them in the, in the, like I think that it's a real thing.
Like, you know, I think it's important that we think about people like that, man.
He fucking was a, it was a fucking boss.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you know what?
I take some solace.
in that he was doing the job that he always wanted to do since he was a little kid.
Yeah, he lived his dream.
They reckon the last time they saw him, he put his machine gun over his shoulder.
He's automatic.ic solo he jumped in the helicopter and he gave a thumbs up and a smile yeah and he was over the moon because the other person dropped out and max was first person with his hand up and so you know it it it wasn't a senseless death it wasn't a you know like a car accident which i'm not going you know people have tragedies all their life at least there was you know it wasn't fentanyl yeah at least there was something you know off being a fucking hero bro yeah yeah yeah dude it is cool yeah yeah you know that
is exciting yeah yeah shout out max dude fucking he's still out there in the air probably fucking dude well look that's another reason we shouldn't be tariffing these people.
These guys are freaking putting their lives on the line.
They've done that for America before.
Yeah, we, well, we always show up for the wars.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what?
You kind of need us.
I know you're saying, oh, who cares?
A country of 23 million and another country of 3.5 million in New Zealand.
So let's, you know, 26, 27 million people.
We're in a country of 330 million.
right?
what do you care about that?
well strategically you kind of need us.
We have nuclear submarines that uh you know yeah involved with the Americans sitting up at the top of our country because if China fucking goes bro.
You're gonna have to be there first.
You need us.
Fuck all, yeah.
You need us.
Dude, that's gonna be crazy.
I would watch that.
If I, if the Chinese got to fight Australia, I would fucking tune in if I did.
Okay, so there we go.
Yeah, boy.
Big talk.
Oh, there's the black one at the top, you can tell.
They're currently under construction.
I don't know how to make it.
I assume it's like Ikea or Lego or something like that.
You'd be off to go.
Hopefully it's not the same guy who made the fucking helmets, you know, but, but, but, yeah, we're good to go.
Oh, that's awesome..
Yeah, we get Yeah, I think it's I don't know what they're doing.
I don't know what some of the strategies are.
And you start to realize that man, like you probably for all time, people have just been like so distant from the people who are running the show, you know.
You all end up just being in the mud while they're the ones up there pouring the water into the dirt, you know.
You know, we had our own Pearl Harbor up in Darwin, they bombed the movie Australia.
Gallipoli?
I know, Gallipoli was when we went and fought the Turks.
The Turks, I shouldn't say the Turks.
What am I fucking?
Yeah, I guess the Young Turks and a Kasperian.
But we fought the Turks and you would have seen the Mel Gibson movie that was But we had an invasion on Australian land.
In Darwin they bombed it.
Similar time to what happened with Pearl Harbor, they went after us as well.
The Jays, yeah, Japanese?
Yeah, and it hasn't really, it's in the movie Australia with Huge Ackman and Nicole Kidman, that's what it's about.
But I don't know if you've seen that movie.
But we had our own thing going on as well.
Fuck yeah.
More than 230 people were killed, civilians and military people, with hundreds more wounded.
68 air raids, yeah, pretty amazing.
And what happened after this, after the attack happened?
Well, we just carried on with World War two, didn't we?
We we beat the fucking Germans, man.
That's what happened.
They had a few wins.
We won the war, man.
That was it.
We won the war.
That was it.
It's funny.
I'm looking at my special right now.
I wanted to call my special Hitler, right?
I've got three Hitler jokes in it.
That's the only reason I wanted to call Hitler.
I'm not a fan of Hitler.
I'm not pro Hitler.
I've just got three.
And I was thinking to myself, because everything's about algorithm.
Yeah.
Right?
How's the algorithm?
Who's who gets searched more than Hitler?
Yeah.
Who gets to?
I type his name into the Netflix all the time if I'm bored and I want to watch a documentary.
I'm not I don't put like a heart emoji next to it.
I just, you know, and I thought that could get a few clicks if I called the thing Hitler.
Anyway, suffice to say I had some pushback from Netflix.
Netflix was like, oh, it won't be an aggressive font.
Yeah.
It'll be a soft font.
Like Ariel or something.
Yeah.
And so I wanted to call it Hitler.
In the end, I landed on two-limb policy, which I'm very happy with in the name.
But I just got back all the rankings of, you know, where it is in the top ten.
I don't know if it's because I do the Hitler jokes, but out of all of Europe, I'm about to tour Europe right now.
now and i sell really well in germany but for some reason germany and austria haven't gotten in the top ten i don't know if there's some shit with that phone everywhere around.
Poland, I'm crushing.
But Hitler's their guy.
Yeah, yeah, but they're not proud of it.
No, some of them are.
They're not proud of it.
Tulum policy right there.
There we are.
Tulum policy.
Now, the Tulum policy stands for after I did my sick.
I mean, you meet with the veterans after your show, right?
I meet with disabled people.
Disabled.
You meet with disabled folks after your show.
Yeah, yeah.
So after my shows, I take photographs with disabled people.
But people start, I did a sitcom many years ago that had disabled actors.
And then I sort of became a thing.
And I used to actually just sort of go get the security to go and sort of whisper to the wheelchair seats and go, here's the thing, come back afterwards.
Come on around, yeah.
But people started finding out about that.
And people would write to me and go, hey, I'm coming to see you perform this weekend.
I'm bringing my uncle.
He's disabled.
Can we come backstage?
And you can't write back, How disabled?
You know what I mean?
And you can't ask for a photo.
You just gotta go,'cause I can't have fucking dyslexics showing up.
Right.
There needs to be.
There needs to be.
So as I say in the special, I always handle the classics, deaf, deaf blind wheelchair.
And also, you can't just be like slightly deaf, slightly.
You gotta have a dog or a cane.
You gotta be a beast.
And if you're deaf, you gotta have the voice, right?
Right.
There's no better way to say it.
Yeah, I don't like those pseudo blind people.
Like, I'm color blind or whatever.
I ain't even said blind.
Yeah.
Like, I'm color blind, but I still say the N word.
I'm like, what are you doing?
You've got to choose a path.
So, so, uh, so if you aren't one of the classics, I have a two limb policy.
So, you can't, you can't just be like a fat fuck who lost your foot to diabetes.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
That doesn't get you backstage because you had too much candy.
That's crazy that people are faking that kind of thing.
No, no one's faking it, but I just decided what were my parameters.
Got it.
No one was faking.
I never had anyone coming back.
I think I was letting the autistic back and some of them were over autism.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
And I was like, I thought, I thought, I don't think this is your real self.
I think you're playing this up for the cameras a little bit.
So, but I do count autism as one limb.
Oh.
So if you have a flamidomide arm and autism, right.
Beautiful.
You're in.
Lazy eye, autism.
Here we go.
What about missing an ear?
Yeah, oh yeah.
I'd do missing an ear all day.
Yeah.
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You ever seen?
No, I haven't.
Look at him.
You ever seen the movie Chopper?
I haven't.
This is my gift to you.
Go see the movie.
That's Eric Banner's first dramatic role, right?
Before that, Eric Banner, you know, the actor Eric Banner.
Eric Banner was a stand-up comedian.
Wow.
You'd seen him perform before?
Yeah, yeah.
He was famous in Australia.
Fuck, yeah.
He was doing, he did characters.
He used to impersonations and all that type of stuff.
He even had a show called the Eric Banner Show where he played.
Now, that's the real Chopper Reed, right?
So the one up in the top corner there, the one next to him is.
the real guy.
Sure.
Now, if you look at him, he doesn't have ears.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
He's kind of drawn on.
Right.
So what happened was he killed a whole lot of people.
Then he went in prison.
Then there was a mark on him where they were like, I'm saying an arbitrary number, $50,000 to kill Mark Reed.
Yeah.
Right.
And so he said, I need to be moved out of the cell block.
I can't be in this cell block.
Everyone's trying to kill me.
They're trying to kill me.
They're killing me.
And the governor's like, I can't help you, Mark.
Yeah.
So it's taken.
Yeah.
Oh.
Why'd he take his ears off?
Because he has to go into the hospital in the infirmary or they'll move him or something like that for his own safety.
He got his ears cut off.
He got another blake to do it with a razor and fucking peel it off.
It's a banger of a movie.
Now, when you see the movie, right?
So the movie is Eric Banner is unbelievable.
It's what made Eric Banner a star.
He was just a stand-up comic in Australia who'd been in a little movie called The Castle, which is a great comedy.
That's another podcast.
And then Eric Banner becomes Chopper and does this thing and he gains tons of weight.
It's really fat for it.
And I tell him, and then his next movie, I believe, is The Hulk or Black Hawk Down.
And then he's in fucking Troy.
Whoa.
With, you know what I mean?
Like, it's kind of, yeah.
So Chopper, Black Hawk Down, another Australian movie.
Then he's.
the fucking Hulk and then he's then he's with bloody Brad Pitt and the good looking people yeah they put you with the good looking people you're doing good yeah Munich that's that's uh that's Steven Spielberg Munich like it went from it went from zero to a hundred very quick You know, like, and he was, as I said, just a stand-up comedian.
And he still lives in Australia.
He still lives in Australia.
Yeah.
Still lives in Australia.
And I don't think he does stand up anymore.
I've spoken to him online a couple of times as one Australian to another.
I think he one time saw one of my specials and was like, I enjoyed it.
Yeah, that's the only chat I've had.
That's so cool, though.
But this is the weird thing.
There's like people you like, you get to speak to fucking Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders.
You get to meet both sides of the whole world.
Plus, you get to interview whoever the fuck.
When you get to a certain level of fame, there's people you can just sort of reach out to and go, hey, and then just see if something comes back.
Like, so at the moment, I'm wearing my favorite entertainer in the world, and I wore this t-shirt.
because you're the only interview I've ever found of Chris Lilly.
Dude, well, he, first of all, yeah, I remember asking you last time that we talked if you had met him and you hadn't yet.
No, still haven't.
I've only spoken to him online.
I've never heard his voice.
I've, I, I've, he once came to one of.
my shows and he wrote, oh, it's just your show, really funny, good stuff or whatever.
But he didn't come backstage.
Oh, he's kind of like a, he's a little bit of like a missing person kind of.
He's an introvert, but he's a genius.
Oh, he's magical.
He's a genius.
His TV shows, it was like, I wanted, I started showing his shows to my son when he was 11.
He's a magic baby.
And then just to see what he, if he went, this is brilliant.
I knew that my son actually knew comedy.
And was going to be a good person.
Knew what comedy was.
And then, or if he went, oh, I don't really get it.
This is boring or whatever.
Why's a guy dressed?
Because it's one guy playing all the different actors and all that stuff.
And he got cancelled for the wrong reason.
Summer High's High, yeah, was it one of the best shows ever, first of all.
Summer High's High's unbelievable.
Jamae Private School.
Now he's got a podcast of Mr. G, who's my favorite character.
Oh yeah.
But he's bad habit for drugs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's a naughty girl with a bad habit, bad habit for drugs.
Ecstasy.
Ecstasy.
Yeah, he's the fucking.
He is, I'm gonna for Australia, right?
Yeah.
I'm gonna say he's the greatest Australian entertainer we've ever had.
I'm including Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe.
I'm including fucking ACDC man, right?
Right?
And these are all those people I love.
Oh yeah.
I'm very proud to say from Australia.
Volkanovsky also?
Who's Volkanovsky?
Alexander Volkanovsky?
Is he New Zealand?
He's Australian.
Australian.
I haven't lived there for twenty years.
Am I about to get in trouble?
He's a UFC guy, no.
Oh no, I don't follow UFC.
Oh you don't, that's good.
No, no, no.
He's a class athlete.
I don't, no, athletes, athletes is a different thing.
I'm talking about, it's exclusive.
I'm talking about entertainment.
No, we've had some great athletes, man.
Do you know that the Ben Simmons was kind of mid.
Yeah, but three times All Star.
Facts.
Three times All Star.
Never mind.
So, so, so, so.
Luke Longley played in the greatest team of all time was the first Australian in the NBA.
When the dream team went to play the rest of the world in Barcelona, there were only six players, international players that were in the NBA.
Six.
And now there was like 60 or 70 in this last one.
The Australians actually had like a proper team, but Luke Longley was just a big tall cunt from fucking Fremantle Perth, brother.
Yeah.
Right.
And then he's playing with Michael Jordan and he was the only cunt out there with an accent that wasn't American or Eastern European.
Yeah.
Right.
Like that was pretty.
Now you've got like Josh Giddy and you've got Andrew Bogart played before.
You've got Daniel Dyson just got the block record, the steel record.
Yeah, Zarvita Zobonas.
What's that guy's name?
That big guy, Bogan Durgen, Bogan Durgen.
But I think he's saying Australian.
It's Australian, though.
All Australians.
Our Olympic team is all NBA players.
I don't understand why.
Britain hasn't gotten into basketball.
Yeah.
How do I say this?
They've got tall people.
They've got black people.
They've got loads of them, right?
It's a place that it rains every fucking day.
Yeah.
It rains every day and you and in a confined space and you haven't picked up basketball.
They're just trying to be fucking difficult.
Yeah, that's what they're trying to be.
They're two fucking poor, like oh we don't know maybe they don't want a bunch of black guys just hanging out in the park or something i don't know what we don't need the park indoor basketball courts just get it made but with travis bizana the number one major league uh pick last year and the draft is from uh hornsby which born the same hospital as me bro this guy this guy and this is just a coincidence me and me and chris lily are i think the same age give or take a year we're the same age he went to the private school i believe
up, up the road for me and I went to the public school up the road for me, but we grew up in the same bit of the northern suburbs of Sydney.
Do you remember seeing him as a kid?
No, I never met him.
But it's just there's every chance that me and him were at the same party or something like that.
Every fucking chance as kids that we were at the same party, but he, but I was so it's it's it's weird when you get that where you go, oh wow he grew up near me.
Yeah.
I fucking I can't I can't champion Chris Lilly enough man.
Oh dude I saw him in Bondi Beach.
Bondi Beach is in Sydney, but it's the most famous beach in Australia.
Oh, beautiful over there.
Even the fucking men's is good looking.
Were you doing the voice then?
Was that?
I don't know what I was doing.
I just didn't want to see it.
Even the men's is good looking.
Even, yeah, it's all right.
But I remember we met up for lunch.
And I had some other people that I was like other comedians and stuff.
And I was like, well, I, you know, he kind of keeps to himself.
So I don't know if I want to have a bunch of people here when he shows up.
So, you know, I want you guys to take a walk or whatever.
So I walked outside with them.
And then when I came back in, he he was sitting just like facing the water, like out on this balcony.
And then I just went and sat by him and we just sat and talked.
He had on like this hat.
I'll include some photos from it and stuff, but it was just awesome.
Just like, yeah, it's almost like meeting with like a mythical creature, kind of, in a way.
So special.
Yeah, he's as gifted a human being that he's ever been.
To be able to do all that, the bravest part is just to be able to take on all those characters at once, I think, and then just put yourself out there that much.
Because you're not saying that, hey, my character is going to be good.
You're going to say, you're saying five of my characters are going to be good.
And then Grain leaves you, and you believe that he's a sixteen year old girl.
yeah it's just after a little while you go he's now it's one thing for him to be a gay high school drama teacher right that's just a wig he's still a guy like but then when you watch jamae yeah and you're like and then like and also this whole thing that it's like oh he he did blackface or oh he did this he did that right look at him and he look he's like a koala but but then to do jonah from tonga and there's real genuine moments of heart.
There's times you can cry watching Jonah that you feel for him so much and that you understand why he's a little shit.
It's not just a one-dimensional, this kid's a shit-steering troublemaker.
Yeah.
And I think that's what people ask.
They, oh, he's taking the piss out of Tongans.
And it's like, yeah, I guess he is.
But it's so much more than that.
Even Tongans fucking loved it.
Real Tongans loved it.
The only people that don't like shit are people that don't own it who want to write articles about it.
My son went out for Halloween this year as Jonathan Tonga.
He didn't do anything with the skin.
Just the way the shirt and the tie.
Dude, I say go with a nice polish.
Don't do anything heavy.
You know what I'm saying?
Don't do anything super close to the equator.
But I would go with, you know, yeah, something of a good bronzer, I think.
Well, I don't think he was going to put that much effort in.
I think laziness stopped.
him from being canceled.
He's like, Stop looking at my dick, mom.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Don't do that.
Yeah.
What do you do that for?
Stop looking at my dick, miss.
Oh, miss.
Oh, miss.
Oh, the best.
And then when they start break dancing and then that other kid comes in and is a better break dancer.
This is, I would argue that Chris Lilly is a bit better break dancer than Reagan, the Australian lady who entered the Olympics.
Fuck yeah.
And she put out a bet.
Did you know about the bet she put out?
She goes, Oh, you think you're a better dancer than me?
And she cracks the knuckles and goes, How about?
I think it was like five grand or something.
You can find the clip where Reagan puts it.
There she is, old Reagan.
She's dressed like she's from the local bolo, which is lawn bowls, and she just everyone else is wearing street crates.
Then she does the kangaroo.
But if you can find the clip of where she challenges people, Ray Gun challenges people, it's it's and i wasn't there like a ledge like a big like that's it there that's it there ten thousand dollar prize she put out ten thousand dollars prize if you can dance better than ray gun surely someone's i can't dance better than ray gun who won that but she was a middle class woman from a middle class white woman who had studied hip hop at
university and had a degree in it.
And then like Australia was just like, oh, the girl's got a degree.
It must be the one.
I don't think our Olympic panel are savvy with the hip-hop world and the dancing.
It's not to say there aren't kids who are doing dancing in the street and stuff in Australia that can't do it.
We're a very multicultural country, without a doubt.
There are people who can fucking breakdance in Australia.
I've seen them do it.
Class, yeah.
But the people who actually decided, there's a lovely young girl, Rachel Gunn.
We're going to call her Ray Gunn.
Bit of fun.
Because I was in Bondi when the Olympics were on and my phone lit up, just lit up with all these people going, oh, you've got to watch it.
Are you watching the TV?
And it was every American comic who knew me was just like.
Kind of relate to you.
No, no.
they were trying to take the piss like your people are on on the TV right now because that's the thing about you know being a white Australian we're not inherently cool you know what I mean and so then when Reagan comes that doesn't fucking help our cause it was bad it's like watching 9-11 it was yeah yeah for a for a Muslim you know when a Muslim watches 9-11 and they think well this will make my life harder yes that's what that was Reagan was the Australian 911.
911.
Oh, Christ, God.
But the balls on her just to walk out of the Olympics and have a go.
It was the only athlete that Snoop Dogg who you know how Snoop Dogg was just at the Olympics just like wearing the equestrian outfit?
Well, so was Leslie Jones.
Didn't they just have her like sometimes they just they started hiring more celebrities just to be there.
Just to be there and just show up at events.
Yeah.
I pitched a show to Australian TV that said because the Olympics are coming out and I don't know if this show will ever go ahead, but I pitched it to Australian TV.
I said, what about you get me interviewing people, the athletes, the Australian athletes?
I'm already here.
Yeah.
You don't have to bring anyone out.
I'll do like a little comedy show that's like after the proper show.
After you watch all the highlights, we can do like a little comedy tonight show where we just do the Olympics and make it a two run thing.
So make it ten episodes out the door, fucking done.
Hopefully I can do it, but I reckon that would be a bit of fun.
It'd be sick.
And the Olympics, have you been in Australia?
No, here.
Oh, in the US?
LA.
Oh, fuck.
Here.
Here.
You don't know that the next Olympics are here?
No.
Oh, the traffic is going to get worse.
Oh, it's going to be bad.
Oh, it's going to be bad.
You'll probably, I wonder if I'll have one of those.
I mean.
And you've got the World Cup.
Oh, yeah.
Everything, everything is going on.
Do you know the Olympics are the reason you have palm trees uh oh i used to do a podcast called i i don't know about that right where i used to learn about a new thing and one of the things was the olympics and i was learning i do a podcast called at this moment with uh amos gill you're friends with amos you know amos he's a strange comic very very good comic me and me and him do a podcast at this moment so follow my podcast but um um uh palm trees there was no palm trees in LA.
They're not indigenous to LA.
And then when you had your first Olympics and I don't know what year, they planted all those ones along Beverly Hills just to spruce the place up a bit because visitors were coming, how about we plant some palm trees?
They grow by themselves.
They take very little fucking work, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
Yeah, see, I'm not lying.
The internet's back.
I like how you've got a guy who's always checking if I'm full of shit every time he's, oh no, no, he said it, right?
And so, so they planted 25,000 to 40,000 and at each, and that was 1932, right?
And at each game since then, when you've had the Olympics since then, you've planted more palm trees.
So the reason that LA looks like LA, like what it's synonymous with, if you were to do a silhouette of LA palms right there.
Palm trees.
It's kind of the only thing in the silhouette, really.
Yeah, a couple of buildings that you undescriptive buildings.
Yeah.
Palm trees.
Dodger Stadium.
Yeah.
Out the door.
Beverly Hilton.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Beverly Hills Hotel.
I think there's palm trees in their emblem probably.
There's palm trees everywhere.
That one, the wallpapers are all palm trees, but Yeah, even if you see people's videos or movies, every time you see the palm trees, you see it.
It might be Beverly.
That's a lovely hotel.
Beverly Hilton.
That is a nice place, man.
That is nice over there.
Yeah, I I I didn't know that at all, man.
I love the fact that Australia has so many amazing people, though, man.
That's just one thing that I loved about it.
Just fucking well.
And it's peaceful, man.
It's safe, dude.
That was one thing I realized you're in Australia.
It is safe.
It's safe.
It is safe.
You're like, oh, it is safe.
But, you know, look, I don't want your audience turning on me.
I'm the gun control guy.
You know what I mean?
And I understand I've lived in America long enough.
It's, yeah, Australia is a very safe place, but not without.
You know what they're having at the moment?
They're having a, you know how like they're turning your guns?
They're having machete bins.
In Australia, machete bins.
Machete bins.
This is a brand new thing.
People having issues with machetes.
Disposable bins, right?
Let me see it right here.
An Australian state has asked citizens to surrender machetes at disposable bins ahead of of a statewide ban on the weapons aimed at combating knife crime.
Australia's state of Victoria on Thursday announced that more than forty machete disposal bins will be available at police stations across the state to allow citizens to safely get rid of the weapons without a penalty before September 1st ban.
I reckon people are just throwing food and stuff in there though.
Just recyclable.
I just throw in an arm just from your last murder and you go, I'll just throw the machete in as well.
Look at this fine right here.
Those who did not surrender their machetes during the amnesty period may face imprisonment of up to two years or a fine of more than 47,000 Australians.
Wow.
37-1 American.
Yeah, look, there is a little bit more nanny state in Australia.
We do have, there's more speed cameras.
You notice it when you go back.
Yeah, it's a little strict.
They do a thing in Australia that I find with around long weekends.
So Easter, for example, long weekend, they will have the death toll on the TV.
Oh, really?
Yeah, where they talk about See who has the most.
Five.
Yeah.
See who's bloody Western Australia is doing terrible this year with five deaths on the death toll.
We also have four deaths in Queensland.
They're not doing well.
Oh, Victoria, one death.
Well done.
Boo.
Somebody yells boo from behind a camera.
But imagine doing that in America.
Imagine like a Labor Day weekend.
We're going to count up.
all the deaths that are happening on the highways and then we're going to report it and we're going to shame everyone.
Also, long weekend, they do double the merits.
Oh, no, for what?
If you get in trouble.
Yeah, so let's say you start with 12 points, you lose one point for a seatbelt, three points for speeding, you know, things like that.
Really speeding, you lose six points.
I think America goes the other way upwards or whatever, right?
You gain points.
On long weekends, holiday weekends, it's double.
Oh.
So seatbelt two, speeding six, man.
And if you get 12, what's out?
You're out.
Oh, Australia has a bit of a double or nothing policy, which is like a thing we do, because people go, oh, but I need my car for work.
Yeah.
What if I can't do it for work?
The Australian government goes like this.
We'll give you one point, right?
And you have to have that point for a year.
And so you can e have one point for a year.
And if you lose it then you lose your license for a year.
Yeah.
So you can't fucking roll through a stop sign.
You know what I mean?
I like that.
But you put things on the Australian citizen, I think they take things seriously.
A lot of Americans, there's a lot of Americans that take things seriously, but there's a lot of other fucking just fucked-hards who don't give a shit, you know?
Oh, we have fucked-hards who don't give a shit.
We're not short on them.
Yeah.
The world's got them.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I've been a little bit harder on Americans today.
No, America, man.
I always have to stipulate this, man.
Fucking what a wonderful place, man.
Yeah.
What opportunities and what.
things you can do.
Just the basic fact that you have 330 million in such a small place, right?
You know, when you're flying around doing gigs in Australia, you didn't get any fucking connecting flights, did you?
You just went to those cities.
Yeah.
We all went to each other because we've got five major fucking cities.
Yeah.
Right?
And then you drove out to the more rural places or whatever.
But like in America, I've got to stop in Charlotte because it's a hub.
and I'm always complaining about it, but then I think to myself, how wonderful that we can, I've been here for 50 years, There's still cities I still have to go to.
I've been to most of them over and over again, but there's so much space and there's also you can be a popular comedian in the midwest and that can be your territory where you know you have your fan base and you don't have to travel too far or you can be someone who's just really popular in san francisco or what you know what i mean like like it's that diverse and and people shit on america a lot because of your low rate of people who have passports right that's a stat they always say in australia and
britain is like you know like like like 40 percent of americans don't even have a passport right and i used to think that is a i don't know the exact state um stat we can look at it right here as of late 2024 approximately 51% of Americans have a valid passport.
This reflects an increase from 46% in 2023 and 30% in 2008.
Right.
Compare that to other states.
You can compare that to Australia or England.
So we're saying 49% of you don't have passports.
Right.
Right.
That is high.
That's a lot.
That is high.
Like you're an international traveler.
You think you think nothing of having a passport.
Of course you should have a passport.
Right.
Oh, you guys is 55, 55 percent.
55, 77, 77 of UK because you're going to holiday in France.
It's a fucking two-hour train ride.
Of course, you're going to do that.
You need to have that.
Go for lunch.
That surprises me.
Australia is only at 55.
We're only a little bit higher.
Well, we've been catching up for some reason.
I mean, we're 30% in 2008.
I wonder what's caused us.
Right.
So 30% is bad.
Yeah.
30%.
But I never understood it until I moved to America.
And I'm like, well, you can do everything here.
You literally have every weather condition that you want to enjoy.
You want to go whitewater rafting.
You want to go to a winter wonderland and fly.
fucking go into a resort up there you want to go tropical i can take you down here you want to see big you want to see big sea thing you want to see go to hawaii, see the quick sand.
Yeah, yeah, you've got every environment on Earth is in the ecosystem of America.
Yeah.
Plus, you've got fucking Disneyland.
Right?
So you got Epcot Center that has fake environments.
Exactly.
You can see the whole world there.
You don't have to go anywhere.
Just wander around there.
Watch, it's a small world after all.
That's how you can tell what all the different children look like.
Yeah.
You know, so, so, so I get it because you don't really have to go anywhere.
You kind of have everything that you need.
But there is something beautiful about going.
One thing that I remember when I first started traveling was the first people you see everywhere.
And this is one thing I always admired are Australians, dude.
They're fucking balls to the wall.
They wake up.
They go.
They don't sleep.
They're nocturnal.
They're day-turnal.
They're fucking lunch-turnal.
And it's even weird.
You'll find us in places like Whistler, right?
You'll be up in Whistler and, g'day, mate.
I'm your ski instructor for the day.
Like, can't we get a fucking Canadian on this?
You brought me a bloke from the desert.
You know what I mean?
Even black Australians, you hear them.
you know like good day mate and it's like a black guy like wow that's crazy well when I was young you didn't okay so when I was young I grew up in a school that had a lot of like um Asian kids in it I think it was 50 60 percent Asian and stuff like that.
And there wasn't many black people in Australia then.
We had the white Australia policy.
And I'm going to write up until I want to say the 1950s, it might have been later.
Right.
And where there was whites only in Australia?
was you can immigrate to Australia but it was for white people and so the most And the derogatory term for them was wog and that was the most foreign people.
But that's what shows how bigotry can go out the window because now they're the most assimilated people in Australia, Italians and Greeks.
Melbourne has the second highest Greek population of any city in the world, after Athens.
Wow.
And that includes other Greek cities.
Wow.
Right?
And so, so, so, 1958.
There you go.
So they abolished the, yeah, the non-white immigrant.
It was called the White Australia policy, right?
It wasn't, I'm not just making it like they didn't beat around the border.
They didn't have it.
Yeah.
So in 1958, they got rid of that.
And now we have, obviously, we have a lot of black people and stuff like that.
But when I left Australia and I left Australia in 2001, and then when I came back just to, you know, by about 2010, just, you know, on a holiday of seeing the family or whatever to see all so the Italians and Greeks were all westernized Australian by then with the accent.
Then the Asians came in and then they now you see Asian Australian cricket players and they've all got the fucking voice.
You know, you ever seen like a Chinese fella who fucking talks like this, right?
And it's like it just takes time.
So they were the problem and then now they're like, and these fucking blacks come in and then they and then so it just takes time and an accent to assimilate.
That's what you need.
Even now you see like a lot of like there's a lot more black country music fans and you see like a lot more like black kind of redneck or like hunting type of guys.
You're like, oh, it just takes some time.
Exactly.
It took it.
And it's kind of good because they can't use those things to separate people anymore anyway.
It took Hootie to make the first push, right?
Hootie, I don't know who what Hootie's real name is, but Hootie Darius.
Darius, that's right.
But his last name was Rucker, which kind of has kind of a country tone to it.
So yeah, dude, shout out Darius Rucker.
He does not get enough credit.
Rosa Parks are country music, man.
Oh.
Like, like, like, you think about like, and he left a popular band to go, I want to do country music in Nashville, right?
Because he could still be touring right now with the Blowfish going, I only want to be with you.
Yeah.
Right.
And you love a little Ellen.
Yeah.
And still be doing just fine.
God, man.
He's, yeah, that guy's done a great job.
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But I always think that like when you say black Australians and stuff like that, so the sports that we're into, Australian Rules Football.
Oh yeah, AFL, man.
Brisbane Lions.
AFL.
Yeah, Fremantle, bro.
When black people start playing that sport.
It's a rap.
It's a rap.
And they're hiding it from them right now.
It's a wrap.
Because we've got some Sudanese refugees that have started playing who are excelling.
It's a game about jumping, really fucking like jumping and running.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's and it's it's a rap, right?
But I believe all sports.
Essentially a rap.
I think now, so when I was growing up in Australia, I wore a Michael Jordan jersey like every other boy in the nineties.
Right?
Because the best.
The best.
I never got to see him play one live game.
There would be a wide world of sports.
We'd show little clips of what happened in American sports.
We would get the Super Bowl would be shown on our TV.
No baseball, no basketball.
Basketball would get shot.
Or like a Stingray kills a boy or something as well would be like one of the highlights.
Yeah, that's our sport.
But we had our rugby and we had our cricket and we had our AFL and all the, you know, great sports.
But now they've got an app called KO where you can watch all the NBA, all the baseball, all the Premier League for fucking $10 or $15, you know what I mean?
And it's like it's cheaper to watch those sports in Australia now than it is now.
I believe that, as I said, you had one NBA player back in the day, Luke Longley.
Now we've got like maybe 15 Australian NBA players.
We've got, now we've got, there's a guy in the Super Bowl, a I think about four or five punters in the NFL.
Oh yeah, they're from Australia.
Because they learned from AFL to kick so long.
And now they've just got at Australian universities, we're just training punters.
We're just like, okay, this is our thing.
Look at this.
So here we go.
Let's get a gandle at him.
There's Michael Dixon right there for the Seahawks, current Australian punters.
Lou Hedley down there in New Orleans, Mitch Wishnowski.
Shout out, Mitch Wish.
So we got six current, six current, and I believe there's a bloke who actually played in the NFL.
That's an extra guy.
He looks awesome.
Yeah, yeah.
And the thing is, because punters never have to learn to tackle.
Look at this fucking lard right there.
Every now and then.
Lou Hedley dude.
Order me a fucking Lou Hedley jersey.
That's him.
Every now and then there'll be a punt.
There'll be a fucking ball somewhere.
There'll be a punt and there'll be someone return, get past all the defense.
You know, they do that full run back, the whole thing.
Oh yeah.
And the Australian bloks always tackle them because they grow up playing rugby and all that.
Yeah.
And so every time they're just like, Oh, all there is left is the punter.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Have you seen that?
Right?
Like that.
It's always some Australian bloke going, Yeah, yeah, I can fucking tackle.
This is what we do.
Yeah, I'm an adult man.
I do this without a helmet, mate.
Yeah.
Lou Hedley dude., he'll kick your freaking arms off your body.
That guy, wow.
Dude, that's class, bro.
That's such a great call.
It's like everyone should have that Australian punter.
I think I love having more, I want more Mexican guys in the NBA, dude.
And I mean, real Mexican guys.
Like 5'4, one guy.
Jaime, what's his name for the heat?
He's the only one that I know.
I've forgotten his bloody name.
They're not renowned for being tall, the Mexicans.
No, that's why they got the one at UCLA, Jaime Haquez.
Yeah, Haquez.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He plays for the heat.
Yeah, he plays for the heat now.
And he's class, but he's not, he's not an all star.
You know what I mean?
i always think with like also with sports it just takes one person to open the door up for other kids to go oh yeah you know maybe i can you know we have australians in the premier league and stuff like that you know for a very small country i'll tell you what country kicks fucking ass for its size island island island's got 270 000 people i might be out by 10 000 or something and they made it to the soccer world cup Oh my God, I didn't not realize that.
Statistically, they would only have maybe 20,000 eligible men of age for the right age or the right whatever.
And they made it to the World Cup and they fucking got through the first round.
Class.
They got to the round of sixteen.
Unbelievable.
Let's bring up that Iceland team.
I don't even want to get a gander.
I feel like it's like, I think Christian McCaffrey's from Iceland.
Dude, I just went to Qatar not long ago.
I know you're going to the Middle East coming up.
I went to Qatar and this is it.
One thing was interesting there was the soccer stadiums from when they held the World Cup are all still there because they didn't, they don't really have that much regular use of them.
Yeah, that's it.
So you have these huge stadiums sitting everywhere.
Let's get a look at that team.
That's amazing, brother.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they're all just like they don't even have a McDonald's in Iceland.
Oh, well, that's probably why they're all in fucking doing good.
Everybody hears us all fucking.
Right.
Beeped out.
Their arteries aren't clogged up.
Is that Jason Ellis on the bottom right there?
Let me get a game with that picture there.
Oh, these lads are dude.
Look how Icelandish that dude is the third dude, that freaking Ice Indian.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm the Ice Indian.
That guy's fucking ready, brother.
Wow.
I bet it would be cool to be Icelandic.
Have you been there?
No, I almost went to Reykjavik, but it was they had a it was Gay Pride weekend.
We were going to go and I was like, there's nothing.
Reykjavik, Reykjavik is it?
Yeah.
I just didn't want to be at there when it was just everything was very kind of overly gay.
I was there when there was no sun.
Gay shit happening.
There was no moon.
There was no darkness.
It was sunny 24 hours a day.
Is it fun?
That spanned the fuck out of me.
They only get that for three months and the rest of it was nice.
But you're worried about the gayness?
You're worried about-I just didn't want it to be at the hotel.
Every moment it's so much gayness.
I guess it's probably what gay people think of like-Yeah, they have to walk into our hotels.
That's true.
And then they go, I can't be going here with all the fucking heteros.
Oh, I bet they feel that way.
they don't want to go to sturgeon's probably some of them you know yeah i think that's all i needed it was just a few look and all okay so you know like in iceland i just didn't't want guys like I'm at breakfast and some guys keep trying to buy me like fucking like those what are those eggs with a little ham on it and it's a cock you're talking about.
The eggs are at the base and then there's like a ham.
It's like a thing you didn't want to want to then bought for you.
I just didn't want somebody sending over a cock, you know.
Well, you know, okay.
Not that they would, but it's some of those addresses.
If you are to be gay, I reckon Iceland's a place to do it because you know they have an app on the phone.
So the population is so small that they have to have an app on the phone.
So if you meet a girl in a bar, you both put your names in the app or your license into the app or whatever and it'll tell you how closely related you are because everyone's fucking related in thing right then we got to get over there dude so so so you go over there we have a shot so like third cousin's all right i guess second cousin no good warning first cousin how good are you at keeping a secret yeah yeah right 40 70 but but that's for the heterosexuals if you're gay Who
gives a fuck if you're fucking cousin?
It's not going to, a baby's not going to be made, is what I'm saying.
It's what I'm saying.
But you would still, it would make, oh no, you'd prefer not.
Yeah.
I don't want the gay people kicking off on me like I'm say saying they're all fucking their siblings.
If you can avoid it.
If you can avoid it, I say do.
Yeah, dude.
But if it's unavoidable and it's cold and the sun hasn't been out for six fucking months, who am I to judge?
And if you write not my cousin on the guy's back or whatever.
Exactly.
Exactly.
You can, you can, like, like, there would be nothing worse than ejaculating and rolling over going, so how's your mum?
She's still alright?
Yeah.
How's Aunt Man?
How's Aunt Bjork?
Dude, I got to go over there.
You went?
I went.
And I'm going to Saudi Arabia coming up.
I'm going to talk about guitar.
I've been given a little bit of grief online.
Nothing too much.
About going to Saudi Arabia?
Yeah, a few people have gotten into the comics who are going, and the list is big.
It's Louis CK Me, Bill Burr, Fluffy's going, Whitney Cummings.
Oh, there's a big festival going out of nowhere.
It's called the Riyadh Comedy Festival.
And here we go.
Andrew Schultz.
He's insane, Bill, but Jim Jeffries, Jimmy Carr, Joe Coy, Kevin Hart, you know, Sam, we've got people.
Great lineup too.
Jessica Curson, Numish Patel.
Wow.
It's as good a line up I've seen at any comedy festival.
Unbelievable.
Now, people have been going, how dare you go over there after they killed a reporter.
That was the big one.
There's been a reporter who they killed.
You don't think our government's fucking bumped people?
I think Jeffrey Epstein was fucking bumped off.
Yeah.
I'm sure that's right.
Right.
We've damaged a lot of people.
Yeah, yeah.
We've one reporter was killed by the government.
Unfortunate, but not a fucking hill that I'm going to die on.
It's not my, you know, and I don't know the ins and outs of their government.
So then they get into the live golf, right?
All the golfers go after Saudi Arabia for, you know, a King'ss ransom amount of money and everyone's like, how dare they after how they treat their people and all this type of stuff?
And the people are like, oh, then you've got Cristiano Ronaldo goes over and plays there, is being paid an extra 100, 200 grand every time he kicks a goal as a bonus, 50 grand for an assist.
He has like an SPF fee, I heard it.
Even just putting it on before the games, they pay him extra to do that.
So he's living there.
He's engaged to his misses, but they've never gotten married.
Right.
He's the first person in Saudi Arabia who's allowed to live with a woman who he's not married to.
They've made, they've gone.
An exception.
They've gone, all right, all right, for Ronaldo, okay.
He can do that.
That's right.
So you can be angry at how they treat their people, how they treat the reporter.
You can be angry at the golfers.
You can be angry at the things you can.
But what better than basically we are freedom of speech machines?
being sent over there.
They haven't asked, they have not at one stage asked to see our material.
They haven't asked, and I've been asked in some countries in Asia, I've been asked for transcripts of what I'm going to say.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
They haven't asked what we're going to do.
And let's be fair, they have picked some fucking edgy ass comedians.
Some seriously edgy ones.
Yeah, yeah, they've picked some edgy comedians.
So if you don't agree with how they run their place, isn't this a step in the right direction?
100% bringing free speech over.
Yeah, yeah, isn't this a sign that they're trying to do something different with themselves?
Yeah.
Like this would have been the highest ranks of government would have gone, all right, we're bringing out 30 fucking comedians who are allowed to say whatever the fuck they want.
Who's up for this?
This is a positive thing.
I agree.
Well, here's the thing that I don't understand too.
It's like to be, to live in a country where we're fortunate enough to have the freedom of speech right and to say things we want and then to judge other places just like I get judging them but their rules are there that's what makes their culture right and it's like yes we may not agree with some of them and some of them we may deem as wrong and some of them may be morally wrong or religiously wrong but for that country that's what's going on right now some of them I get it's like you know that's wrong that's fucked up but
some things sometimes you're just attacking kind of the culture of a place right so I some it's like and and us isolating them teaches us nothing and teaches them nothing yeah Yeah.
It also makes us look like this loud know it all all the time.
That's the thing I don't like, you know?
Go live there for a few years, see how it is, you know?
I mean, of course, well, I'm not going to live there.
Yeah, no.
But I want to put that out there.
I'm happy to hear.
Jim Jeffries is coming over.
He's going to be staying.
Yeah, I didn't cyber up for that reason.
Dude, I will say this, man.
When I was in Qatar, they had everything was organized.
There's nothing out of place.
It's almost like there's, it's like, um, there's a ton of respect everywhere.
Like, I mean, that's just what you see in public, right?
Like, I mean, things are clean.
Like, you wouldn't, like, uh, people say the World Cup was wonderful.
I was, I was anti.
I was there because I saw the World Cup in Germany in 2006 and I saw the Women's World Cup in Australia when that happened.
I saw the Matildas, the Australian women's team play.
And, and I thought, why, you know, why should we go to this little country that doesn't really have a soccer history or whatever like that?
But everyone reckons the crowds were super chill.
They reckon it was piss easy to get beer.
They actually had beer taps out the front of the stadium where you, yeah, because they didn't want one of their people actually touching it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And so, so, look at him there.
Look at the mullet.
I thought you were just had a dirty headdress on you.
You know what I mean?
I I thought that one guy on the left hasn't washed his, washed his cloth there.
That's a thing called a thobe over there.
They treated us so great.
I mean, obviously we were there to like do a show and stuff, but, um, but it was just great to get to see the culture and be a part of the culture.
A ton of like respect.
I, and, you know, they don't, like a lot of them don't drink or they don't do it.
Like, it's not as public here.
There's not pubs and bars and shit.
I didn't notice anyway where people are just drunk.
You know, it's like, I don't know.
It's definitely different.
I thought it was really unique.
You know, I thought it was unique.
I was talking to my friend the other day about this.
Okay, so I, you've gigged in the UK.
Yeah.
Right.
How good is a pub in the UK?
Oh, good.
It's good.
It's like a living room.
Even in Ireland.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ireland even better.
Is that part of UK?
Yeah.
Well, it's not.
No, Northern Ireland is part of the UK.
Ireland is the Republic of Ireland is its own place.
But, but they have reciprocal passports.
You can live in either country.
So, you know, it's that part of the world, right?
Yeah.
And the pub is just so good.
And I feel like America.
is missing that sometimes they try to recreate an english pub but i feel like what they're missing is you've got two levels of bar in america you've got fancy ass fucking bar like really like everything shiny and clean lines and unique and that glass back with all the bottles and all that type of stuff, almost a nightclub chic.
Yeah.
And you have the dive bar that is on Bar Rescue, where there seems to be fucking gaffer tape holding everything together.
Yeah.
And it just sort of smells and the carpet's sticky.
Yeah, some woman's living in the ice machine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ever, ever, and you're like, you're like, can I have a bloody Mary?
And they're like, yeah.
And then they read a book.
Or then they just punch a woman and they just bring her over.
But here she is.
That was kind of a dude joke.
My brain's tired of it.
Thank you for letting me know.
Bit of fun, brother.
Bit of fun.
Yeah.
Anyway, so I think America's missing that middle bar.
bar which is nice and everything's clean, but I can still walk in a shirt and not feel like I'm, you know, and I don't have to line up and I don't have to know a guy and it's just they need to have more homely bars, but yeah, we're missing that neighborhood bar that's more popular in every place.
Like one thing in the UK they have all those like the White Star, they're the what are the what's that bar they have all in almost every town there?
I think it's called the red, I don't know, White Lion maybe.
Wait, which town is this?
The White Star Tavern is an award winning pub, restaurant, hotel in Southampton.
Southampton.
No, it's this place is everywhere.
They have chain ones, but you don't even know that they're a chain in Britain.
No, wait, they don't look cha chain, chain at all.
And they're just kinda like in every town they have them.
Like on high.
Like there's a chain called Weatherspoons, which is a company that owns a ton of bars across Britain.
There we go, JD Weatherspoons.
One of the most well known examples of JD Weatherspoons is simply Spoons, they call it.
Well, I performed in the corner of a few spoons and you don't.
Have you?
Oh yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
Dude, I performed in this one place in South Dakota.
They had a parrot in the bar.
It was like part of a thing, right?
And every now and then, sometimes it could say some words and sometimes it would repeat a bit of your punchline or something.
Oh, it actually like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something, you know?
I'll leap that out, yeah, but.
It's a bit of fun.
Yeah, we'll leave it in.
Yeah, it's your podcast, man.
Sure.
I didn't say it, you said it.
If I'm in trouble for sitting next to you saying it, then the world's gone too far, I think.
Yeah, and that's gay.
That's, that's like, so when you're special, man, I want to talk about it just quickly.
Just, uh Yeah, I want to talk about the Tulip policy, man, and I'm glad that you had to set that in stone because it's just amazing the levels of people will go around, you know, to try and cheat the system.
Well, I do a meet and greet.
It's they normally just join the meet and greet.
You do it for free, I know, too, which I think is pretty amazing.
Well, okay, so for the disabled people it's for free.
I do a meet and greet with a ticket with the people in the front row.
Oh, that's fair.
You know, but like 50 people.
Yeah.
And then the disabled people are included in that.
And the disabled people, God bless them, they always wait till the end of the meet and greet.
I'm like, you come first.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry.
I know you're seated the whole time and the rest of them are standing.
But I always get off stage.
I used to drink before I went on stage.
And the first thing I do is pop an edible because it helps me sleep.
And it's also my way of chilling out.
I don't go to bars.
I don't do anything.
I'm not bloody.
You know, I'm a happily married man.
I'm not out chasing tail.
I'm just fucking, I just chill into my, and And then I talk to everyone a few minutes as I meet them and chat to them about whatever they want to chat to me about.
But you know you're too high when someone's paid $80 to meet you and they stop the conversation.
And they go, all right, Jim, it was great meeting you.
And you're like this, oh, God.
I just bored the shit out of these people they just paid to meet me and they found me boring yeah they're like hey jim it's getting late i've got something in the oven jim we've got a pot we've got a sitter so Jim's like, wait, wait.
Yeah, I was just enjoying the show.
Come back next time.
Yeah, dude, I think it's congratulations.
How many specials do you have?
That's special number 10, but it's special number 6 on Netflix.
i think i actually have the record for netflix i know i think you have the record total for anybody um i mean it's 10 specials uh were there's people i think carlin had 11 or something like that but but i have i have the six is the hellbounds just a thing so yeah one two three four five 10.
Yeah, 10.
Yeah.
Oh no, hang on, hang on.
We haven't got the new one.
Oh, yeah.
Two Limb Policy.
Two Limb Policy's got to go down there.
Well, Contraban was just a DVD.
Swear to God was HBO.
Alcoholic was Showtime.
Then there was Epics.
And then Bear Down is to Two Limb Policy, which is on there, are all Netflix.
And I think Chappelle has like five Netflixes or something like that.
But I was just lucky I was, there was, okay.
So there was five specials came out on the first ever Netflix.
Netflix didn't do specials.
Netflix and just like Netflix was still more of a, this is about twelve, thirteen years ago.
And they brought it, they had billboards up.
Netflix is a joke.
They started this before the festival and they were getting into the comedy special market.
And they selected five comedians.
And I remember people like actually going, oh, you were on HBO and now you're on Netflix.
Someone's careers going well.
Like really.
Yeah.
Somebody from Family Guy.
Yeah, a little, yeah, a little pass patronizing facts right anyway so the the five comics they had were me bill burr chelsea handlet and chelsea paretti wow right so it's a good lineup right really good lineup of comics and they were just if these specials go well we will continue if they don't go well we gave it a go that was netflix what the feeling i got from them yeah and the fifth comic we were going to they were going to do a press conference and everything and i was like so it was bill cosby Now, no one's ever seen that special.
That special's never.
Really?
But he did record it.
He recorded one for Netflix.
It's never been seen.
Have you seen it?
No.
You think Netflix give me a special password that no one else gets?
I still pay for my fucking Netflix like everyone else, man.
That's a good point.
I fucking have a Netflix person and I fucking pay for Netflix too.
Yeah, I got six Netflix special and I have to log in like everyone else to watch me.
I have a fucking two accounts, one year and one match.
They tell me off when I'm in an Airbnb.
They go, You've logged in to too many devices.
Me?
That's one of the things I do, when I'm in an Airbnb and someone else has already logged in to Netflix.
It's someone else's account that I've never met.
As I leave the house, I put my special on.
I think, one more rating.
Get one more.
That's it.
Here we go.
So it's 2014.
Bill Cosby's 77.
Is it an unreleased 2014 stand-up comedy film?
Film for a live audience at San Francisco Jazz Center in California, around 60 minutes in duration.
Cosby pontificating on matters of children, romance and matrimony.
Yeah.
You know, when he came out of prison, the first thing he did, because I was at Flappers like that night just trying stuff out.
And then I went to the improv a couple of days later, and he rang every comedy club was the first thing.
Because he would have ranged one of his managers and they'd like, Hey, we don't rep you anymore, dude.
And then he ranged up the comedy clubs.
As he was out of prison, his first impulse was, I want to do stand up.
Get back on stage.
And there's a part of me that wants to see that, don't you?
like, like, as terrible a man as he is, you know, but I want to hear how he fashioned a shiv out of in prison, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I want to hear how, like, if he was still doing, I guess, if he was still doing rapes in prison or whatever.
Or what, like, is there a group in prison if you're a rapper, like a, you know what I'm saying?
Or like a group of, you know what I'm saying?
Like, is who do you, because once you get into things become very tribal in there.
Yeah.
So, like, do you associate with people that kind of have similar crimes?
I think if everyone just he was he was one of those people who was almost blind.
He's only got like ten percent of he's got cataracts on his eyes.
I think they just left him alone and he's probably., it's probably people with star struck.
You know, you're all criminals in there.
You know what I mean?
Like, dude, a friend of mine, uh, did cocaine with OJ Simpson once.
Right.
And we're in New York City.
And like you do.
Yeah.
And they said that, that nobody had a car key on him.
They were just doing bumps of cocaine and OJ had a knife on him that he pulled out and used it to give everyone cocaine.
And I know my friend's not lying about this.
And this is obviously after the murders.
This isn't like the night before.
Yeah.
But just imagine that.
Like imagine being, because I mean, he had that book, If I Did It.
Like imagine it's being that psychotic that you're going to live right there on that line of just gro, like grotesqueness really for people it's funny because drugs are the drugs are the thing aren't they drugs are the thing that that uh if you do them in front of people you that that's a real sign of trust that i'm letting you into my circle that you're going to watch me do this thing that i could get in you know there was there was there was a comic i know and
i won't get you know because he doesn't want to be known about this at all and his career's going fine and all that stuff but he was doing it you know and then one of his mates sent out a photo of him doing it to the paper and then it was just like you know like fuck you dude like fuck you you know, I've back in the day, 20 years ago, I've done drugs with famous people in the room and I'm a blabbermouth.
I'll fucking tell any story I can to get laughs, but I've never, I've never slipped up on that.
I've never, I feel that's an intensely private thing.
Yeah, I think it would be awkward.
Except for OJ Simpson, where of course I would fucking do it.
If it's a murderer.
Yeah.
You can talk about the murderer.
Who's y'all's best murderer over there from Australia, you think?
Well, Chopper's not bad.
You know what was good about Chopper is they made a movie about him.
The movie was massive, right?
He's dead now.
And then as he was dying, he went on 60 Minutes and talked about more murders that he did after the movie.
No.
Oh, wow.
He basically became a stand-up comic after the movie came out and he went and did a raccoon tour night with Chopper where he'd tell his stories.
And anyway, so then I stabbed a little cunt and fucking, you know, he did all that type of stuff.
And a bloke came up to him afterwards who was like some guy from a gang that he had a fight and he came up with the book to the book signing and went, Get a chop chop.
He goes, ah, it's been a while mate, we used to be adversaries.
Didn't he think it was all water under the bridge?
Then he killed that cunt.
Really?
He was already, yeah, he was already very.
And then so he Oh, please, God.
He's dying.
He's off the clock at that point.
He's dying of cancer, like a few weeks left, and so he just goes on 60 Minutes and talks about his other murders.
You have to.
Fucking.
You have to.
And everyone could do an impersonation of him.
Everyone does the impersonation of Eric Banner's impersonation, rather, you know, it's two impersonations removed.
Chopper.
But do yourself a favour, man.
Watch the movie Chopper.
It's a fucking banger of a movie.
There's this one scene where he shoots a guy because he's like, where's the drug money?
Where's the drug money?
Where's the drug money?
no money there's no money there's no money there's no money and all show me the money i want to see the money i want to see the money like that right and then the guy's just like this and then he like feels bad for him and he drives him to the fucking emergency room himself.
Wow.
Right.
Yeah, it's hard to do.
It's hard to drive when somebody's when there's that energy that somebody's bleeding in the car.
Is it?
I find, yeah, I've had friends bleeding and you're trying to get there and they're kind of pissed.
You're like, I've, look, I'm taking you, you know?
And it's like, but it wasn't a gun wound.
It was someone cut themselves.
Yeah, it was a knife wound.
But yeah, still like, I think there's that nerve, that there's that scary energy.
Or a friend, I had a friend who went into labor and had to get them to the hospital.
It's like, the birth going in for the birth, that is.
Would you do it again?
Oh, I can't.
I've had a vastectomy.
You could do it.
I could reverse the – well, they don't reverse the vasectomies anymore.
You know what they do?
They just put a needle in your testicle and they extract the semen.
No, and just give it to your wife?
And then just give it to your wife.
So if I ever wanted to have another one, I don't know, would that be like some old-ass cum that's just sitting around your belly?
But – oh, here we go.
Ivan Malat.
Here we go.
So he's the backpacker murderer.
Ivan – the movie Wolf Creek, you've seen Wolf Creek?
Oh, yeah, scary, dude.
That's based on Ivan Malat.
Now, Ivan Malat was this guy, the British backpackers, if they broke down, he went and helped them out with their trucks and then they were never fucking seen again.
And they don't know.
No, every now and then they would find a body.
I think he's dead.
He's yeah, he's dead.
I every now and then they'd find a body and they'd go, they'd go, uh, and I've been going, Yeah, that one's me as well.
Oh, the fuck hadn't got me.
Did you ever meet any of these guys?
Okay, I never met any of them, but there was, I have a story about, there's one called the Claremont Killer.
Claremont Killer was when I was in university in Perth and I was getting into I I did stand up when I was seventeen and then stopped doing it and then when I was twenty I took it back up again.
I had done like four open mics and then I thought I'll give it another chance because of the three or four open mics I had I had a couple of bad experiences and I was scared.
Yeah.
So the Claremont killer, this bloke here, Bradley Robert Edwards.
Yeah.
So a man convicted of murder, the crimes happened.
That's when I was at university, right?
These are the years when I was at university.
So the place was a now Claremont was a very posh area in Perth and it was a big nightlife place and all the girls allegedly went to get a taxi or whatever.
And so all the taxi drivers were being checked for DNA.
And I told myself, you know, when you're starting in comedy, what do you do to get more stage time?
You run your own gig.
Yeah.
Hey, we've all done it.
You set up a gig in a pub, I'll MC.
Invite all your friends.
Invite some other open micers that you've become mates with, invite all your friends and this is how you start to work up to get good at it, right?
And luckily for me, all the bars in Claremont were dead empty.
They needed punters.
So the bar, the Claremont Hotel, which is like, which is one of the nicest pubs in all of Western Australia, could have no one there on a Friday or Saturday.
And so it's like, it's like, I'll make sure we all drive in and there's always designated drivers and that type of stuff because all the rest of the girls got in cabs, everyone stayed together.
All my mates from university, we used to go out into the murder zone to watch me do stand-up.
That's fucking class, dude.
We had a guy, who did we have?
We had the Baton Rouge serial killer when I was in college over there.
Bring him up and that was Lee.
Harvey.
No, Todd Lee.
Derek Todd Lee.
DTL, they called him.
Oh, here we go.
DTL.
He was DTF too, I think.
He was a killer and rapist.
Not a lot of black serial killers.
I watched a lot of TrueChrome.
Yeah, because they kept saying he was white and they kept like, like, swabbing all the honkies in our town and everything.
And then they called him.
They called him right there.
Peanut, they called him too.
Peanut.
Did he get killed in prison?
Where is he today?
He's probably looking like he looks like he could work for you.
Well, you don't know the death penalty down there?
I don't know.
I mean, if you hang out in New Orleans long enough, you'll get shot once, but I don't know if that's the death penalty.
That's just like tourism.
So you grew up in like not in New Orleans, I think.
Yeah, a regular town.
Covington is our town.
Covington.
Yeah.
I don't know if we have any, no Aussie's near us.
I've, I, I very, it's funny thing about like, 47.
All the, all the Australians who come out, they go, I'm coming out to LA.
I'm going to come out to LA.
And then they come and visit me and they go, where are you going?
Oh, we're going to New Orlando, right?
That's all the three places they go.
Are that the main places?
I was wondering what are the main places that Australians go in the U.S. I just I've been telling people, go to fucking Nashville, man.
It's like, it's like as much fun.
They'll go to Vegas as well, of course.
Right?
Right?
And I'm like, go to Miami.
Go, go to New Orleans.
There's like these places that are fucking awesome.
There's so many cities in America where you're like, this place is fucking a.
And then there's also hidden gems in Australia that you might not know about.
Like, like, a lot of people might go to Brisbane instead of going to the Gold Coast.
And the Gold Coast has a lot of fun things to do.
Oh, the Gold Coast was amazing, dude.
We would take, we got bikes and went and you could ride them on the sand on the beach those motorized bikes do yeah just zipping i mean the beach it was like 70 miles on you're just cruising absolutely beautiful you know dude that was that's that's that's that's our miami in it yes it was and it was just like but a little bit more rednecky miami yeah a little safer though too cleaner yeah yeah i know it's it's a banger it's the banger of a place but how'd you find the sun you had to put sunlight into new zealand and the sun there will kill you you can't stay out very long some of the beaches
there well the whole the hole in the ozone layer it's real is over australia new zealand is over australia new zealand there's one i believe on the north pole and the other one's down there but i'm an environmentalist in the sense that I believe in global warming and I think that we need to make adjustments, otherwise the world's fucked and the water levels are going to rise.
I know a lot of people don't believe that, blah, blah, blah.
But I will say this.
We got rid of the CFCs from the hairspray, from the refrigeration, and from the styrofoam, which was the three main places where CFC, and the hole's getting smaller.
It does – if we make change, that is a good example of how things can actually fix itself.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Because we only found out about it.
Like we've got – there's a layer.
In the 80s, they were like, there's a layer.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And sadly, there's a hole in it, and we're fucked.
Fuck.
That's the most – I mean – And like can you imagine now if they brought that out at news, the internet, the conspiracy theories that would come out now, if you went – there's a mystical layer around us, and there's a hole in it, and the UB rights go through there, and then they – Nobody would – It's too far-fetched.
But it's the same as like, the first cunt to just tell you about germs.
Oh, there's these things you can't see.
that'll get on you and make you sick.
And if you're, you know, doing surgery or stuff, you should wash your hands because if those germs get into the cut, infections will happen.
What do you mean?
You can't see them.
Like they're ghosts?
Yeah, definitely.
They're going to be ridiculous.
Yeah, yeah.
They're micros.copic, they're little tiny things and they'll jump.
That's fucking.
They would have hung him.
They probably killed that guy.
That's science fiction shit.
Yeah.
That's, that's completely science fiction.
Everything's kind of like, everything's science fiction really until, you know, until it becomes true, I guess.
Everything's, I don't know.
Well, my mate Rhys Darby, who you know, Rhys Darby from Out the Lake means death, fly the Concords.
He's a big big, big, big foot guy.
Is he?
He loves big foot.
Does Australians have their own big foot?
We there's probably some.
Oh, we have a bunyip.
Bunyip?
Bunyips.
Let me see them, Von.
Bunyip is like, so B-U-N-B-U-N-Y-U-P.
There we go, Bunyip.
There it is.
A mythical creature from Australia, Aboriginal folklore, primarily found in the Southeastern regions.
It's described as a large aquatic beast inhabiting swamps, billabongs, creeks, and water holes.
Yeah, the Bunyip.
Oh, yeah.
What Rhys always says to me, I go, where's the bones?
Where's the fossils?
Where's the thing?
And he always goes, the platypus?
Because the platypus was a mythical thing until someone actually caught one.
There was people who said, I've seen it.
It's the beaver with a duck's head.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's a beaver with a duck's head.
And they're so elusive and they're so at the bottom of these creeks and stuff like that that no one ever saw them.
They were a bigfoot of its time.
And no shit, they look like they are totally fictional.
If you look at that animal, I mean, that's insane.
They're their own breed of animal.
They're a monotrame, which means that they are a marsupial that lays eggs.
Wow.
So every other marsupial uses a pouch and obviously the animal calls it the pouch, it digests and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it can stick its head out of the pouch, et cetera.
But this is, yeah, it's a marsupial that lays eggs.
It's its own fucking creature, man.
They're beautiful.
We got to get somebody to bring one in.
I would love to see one.
Well, I've only ever seen them in the zoo.
I've never seen one in the wild.
They're on one of our coins.
You know, we always put a different.
That's what's great about Australia is we have some good looking weird areas.
There's the platypus and he's all swimming around 20 cents.
That p-puss right there.
He gets on the money.
He's popular, the platypus.
I love him.
And are they only in Australia?
Yes, they're only in Australia.
Oh, wow.
See, that's a great thing.
You guys have like, it's just something unique over there, man.
I really think that.
I wonder if people are excited about the direction America's heading.
I wonder if people are, I don't know.
I just get paranoid that everybody's kind of freaking out right now.
Okay.
Are people freaking out in Australia right now?
Everybody's freaking out all around the world.
Really?
Yeah.
The world is in a transitional phase.
Which direction we're about to go in, who knows.
Things might, you know, I look, I'm an anti Trump guy.
I know you've met, you know him.
Right?
I mean, as much as you can kind of know, I mean, actually, you know, I've met him a couple of times, you know?
And I know that a lot of people, fans of this podcast, are going to hate me, right?
anything so but that's life that's that's putting yourself out there right um i i'm at the stage now with donald trump where i can't argue anymore i've done the stand up routines i had a stand up I had a TV show where I talked about it.
There's no more arguments for me to make about the guy because he's not getting fucking voted in again.
This is it.
These next three years, this is it.
It's here now.
So I'm of the opinion, let's just fucking see how it goes.
You know, this whole idea that Americans are always with, impeach.
Impeach.
He's been impeached.
Bill Clinton was impeached.
It's all bullshit.
Yeah.
Means fucking nothing.
Yeah.
Means nothing.
Oh, but he's a convicted criminal only makes him stronger.
What the liberals have to stop doing is kicking up and down going, he's wrong and this is wrong and just figure out ways to beat him.
Stop fucking telling me how bad he is and figure out a way to fucking beat him because Kamala Harris wasn't the fucking answer.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, I agree.
You know, so I agree that you've got to figure, you have to, yeah, it's like you have to find a solution if you're just sitting there yelling about everything.
That's all they, most of these parties do.
But now there is no beating him.
Now it's just writing it out.
Yeah.
Right.
Just, just writing it out.
You know, it's, it's, it's, he, he said, was it on your podcast where was it?
On some podcasts, it might have been.
It might have been with Schultz.
It might have been Schultz.
He said, he said, if the tariffs work, I'll get rid of income tax.
I tell you what, I have been one of those people who referred to Donald Trump as Hitler, right?
And I will also add this, not at the end, not up, because everyone goes, but Hitler killed six million Jews.
I'm not talking about that era.
I'm talking about Hitler just out of art school.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know, I'm like, yeah, like a sophomore Hitler.
Yeah, yeah.
So I tell you what, if he gets rid of income tax, you'll never hear me call him Hitler ever again.
I'll be too busy calling him my fuer.
If he gets rid of income tax, you'll have no more complaints from me.
I'll be all right.
But like, you know, look, I'll ask you a question.
How do you think things are going?
I think that I don't like this stuff in with Gaza in the Middle East.
I don't understand why we have such a, why we give so much money to Israel.
Like, you know, every, a lot of the big countries are against him right now, that think Netanyahu is like, is like the new Hitler.
It's like, or that Netanyahu is the worst.
So it's like, I don't understand that relationship.
It's a tricky one, that one, because no one wants to watch a genocide.
And what happened, they shouldn't have taken hostages.
And no one, you know, Hamas isn't fucking angels and all that stuff.
If you can see those pictures of those starving kids and not be moved and not think that we should do something about that, that's fucking you're wrong.
I agree.
You know what I mean?
So whatever side, and I don't want to get into what side I'm on.
I think it's pretty obvious where I'm at, but whatever side you're on, right?
We're all on the side of children not fucking starving, right?
Yeah.
We're all on that side.
So let's figure that out and then deploy.
I'll tell you that much.
And a lot of politicians have to, you know, we elect these people to actually make change.
All right, make change, man.
You know, I could be turned in to a Donald Trump fan very quickly.
It wouldn't take much if he just...
I'm not just here going, fuck that guy and his dumb fucking orange skin and his bad comb over.
You know what I mean?
Like it's not a, it's not, it's, so you were saying you.
So you were saying you've been Yeah, I want to see action.
I just, you know, it's like, and then I wonder, you know, it feels very much like we're headed into a surveillance state.
You know, these are things that I just like, am concerned about.
I overall, I'd, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've been thinking.
So you were just saying how much you enjoyed Australia and how Britain, all that stuff.
Britain's got more cameras than I agree, but.
We all film 24 hours a day.
I think we're headed there very quickly.
That's why there's all this ICE stuff.
That's why they're pulling everybody off streets because they have to get inventory.
In two years, there's going to be, I believe, we're going to be in a surveillance state.
You won't be able to, say, if you walked out in public and you weren't here, uh, document, you didn't have documentation to be here.
People and people have different thoughts on all that.
That's fine.
I'm just saying that.
If you didn't have documentation to be here, the cameras would notice immediately.
So everything has to be on the books.
That's where I think we're heading.
So that's why I think they're doing all that stuff, which I'm not saying makes it wrong or right, but I think that's because we've already got that.
Okay, so Louisiana has that prison escape, right?
You know, all those prisoners they caught them all through facial recognition.
Who does, Louisiana?
Yeah, you remember when there was that?
Yeah, they all ran off that loading dock.
One's still out, I think.
Who's there?
Is there one still going?
They call him Ow boy.
This is the weird thing about prison breaks.
Never in cinematic history have we fall, have we championed the police trying to catch him?
It's true.
Every time we want, so we got we got one out as of June.
2025, the Louisiana inmates are no longer at large.
Damn.
Yeah, they're all done.
Antoine Massey and Derek Gro was the last two to be apprehended.
Shout out Massey and Gro.
But this was the thing is there was facial recognition that picked up the people and now they're like, oh yeah, we have that technology here.
Right, they had to admit it.
They had to admit it because that's how they caught them.
And while we were using it for a thing and we weren't using it again, they just sort of fluffed over it like, yeah, of course, they've already got it, mate.
Yeah.
They've already got it.
Have you seen, I'm a support the clippers.
If you go to that Inuit Dome, have you been to see anything there?
You don't, there's just facial recognition as you walk in.
That's it.
You've already done it on the app?
As you walk in, they're like, hello, Jim.
And you're like., wow.
Yeah.
You're just walking straight in.
It's happening fast.
It's here.
We're just, we're not realizing that it's here, you know?
But I'll say this, I just want people to be able to be, I don't, you know, it's kind of like ethereal, but it's like, you want people to be able to live in a safe place.
You want people to have jobs and have purpose.
So those types of things.
I don't understand some of the bigger picture things, like what happens with tariffs and what their goals are and all of that kind of shit.
I just, it starts to really feel like that neither party represents the people, and that's the part that kind of concerns me the most.
Well, the tariffs, I just wish they, if you need to do them, okay, so, okay.
I haven't I haven't felt any joy from it.
I haven't seen my bank balance go up.
I haven't seen my neighbor get a job.
I haven't seen factories, you know, and I might be wrong, but just the eye check, I haven't seen any benefit from it.
All I found is these things that I'm paying for that are that are costing more.
Yeah.
Right?
But maybe it's too soon to look, I don't think it could be too soon to tell.
I think you have, I think, you know, he's a brash guy.
Shit is going to be brash.
Is he leaning into making it more brash for no reason?
He needs a cleaner fucking thing that we see.
We go, this is how every day you turn on the news, it's like this.
We're going to tariff them 35% and this country's getting 30% and fuck you 45% for you country.
You know what I mean?
Like it's it really is just a bloke just throwing numbers out there.
If he had a thing with a chart, a very clear thing that said this country's getting this and this is the reason why and this is how we're going forward, I might not agree with it.
I might not respect it, but at least I'd understand it.
I agree.
Get a fucking chart, man.
Get us a chart.
Things just seem very but I think I feel like they all know something that's going to happen and we don't know it.
That's a feeling that I have.
Any war could happen at any fucking stage.
I don't know if it's war, it could be aliens, it could be anything you reckon it's alien you know i don't know you reckon the aliens will wait until now after all of it yeah okay so you think i i've seen a ufo i said you know i saw ufo i saw a ufo with a plane of people i was on an aeroplane and i saw a ufo and we all looked out the window went hi baba baba in usa in america wow but we were flying over area 51 we were flying near vegas coming back across the thing it
was probably i don't think i saw an alien i think i saw a test vehicle being flown but it was a circular like a ball and it moved in those type of things you're no doubt you saw it.
I saw it with a lot of people.
I saw it with a lot of people.
Have you all kept in touch or anything like that?
No, and I didn't get my phone out, which I wish I did, because we all went, wow.
And I was over area 51.
Area 51, by its own admission, is where they test new aircraft, right?
Where they test new aircraft.
So I saw an unidentified flying object.
I don't believe there were aliens in it.
Now, could it be alien technology?
I don't think it's a really long way.
I believe there's lots of aliens out there.
I believe there's tons of them.
I just don't think if you came here and visited, you'd hover around a little bit and then duck off.
I think there'd be more to it.
I think they used to come here a lot and now this is like going to like an old theme park.
I don't think they come here as much.
I think like if you have to bring your kids here for like their spring break if you're an alien, their kids are like, fuck that place, you know?
So I think they're probably off doing cooler shit maybe, but what do I know, you know?
I don't want to go there.
It's like our planet in the 70s.
Or like they're like Panama City Beach or something, Florida.
You know, it's like used to be great, but now they're all going to like Vegas somewhere and some of those places.
Do you think in your lifetime?
We will have proof of aliens.
Yes, I do.
In your lifetime.
Yeah, I think something is looming in the distance.
It feels like.
Because we have proof of UFOs.
They've shown the footage.
The FBI's released footage.
Fucking, you saw one.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I yeah, but it's unidentified flying objects.
It doesn't mean and it and it so happens that you seem to see them more in America.
That makes no fucking sense.
The Starters see them the most.
Do they?
The Scots, yeah.
They love them.
But they're heavy drinkers.
Heavy, heavy drinkers.
Exactly, dude.
And it's always so cloudy.
You get a little bit of light coming through the clouds.
Hey, hey.
Hey.
Hello.
You're four.
See that?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
That's just the sun, mate.
That's just a bit of Ray Gun, lad.
Jim Jeffries, dude, thanks so much for hanging out, dude.
I got a freaking, I got a show tonight, so I got a.
Can I just plug what I've got going on.
Yeah, for sure.
Very quickly, I'm just getting my podcast out of the way.
I've got Tulum Policy on Netflix right now.
Watch it.
Very proud of it.
Happy with this special.
I also have a podcast called ATM with me and Amos Gill that is coming out.
I am in a movie.
coming out a jordan peel film where called called him which is directed by justin tipping produced by jordan peel uh marlon wayans tyrek with us julia fox and it's like a proper cinematic release and i'm like doing drama man i'm like acting in that and uh i have a tv show on fox which is a reality show called The Snake, which is a lot of fun, which is, which is my 12-year-old's favorite program, favorite thing I've done.
So The Snake is like a mix between Fear Factor, Survivor, and Big Brother, uh, just sort of, you know, but check out The Snake.
Yeah.
The snakes are right, man.
And you can watch it with your kids, right?
It's the first thing I've done that I can watch with my kids.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah, yeah.
So, uh, well, growing up.
That's me for things.
I'll probably, last time I did a podcast with you, probably six years ago or something like that.
And that's, uh, I'll wait until all these things are done and see if I have some new stuff and come back in again.
I'd love to any time.
I feel bad, man.
Today I was just really kind of tired.
I think I'm kind of exhausted.
So it was hard for me to, like, think of some.
different stuff, you know?
I didn't shut up, man.
So I'm sorry if you had some more questions.
That was a blessing, dude.
And we want to get that photo of Lieutenant Max Nugent.
We'd love to keep him here if it's okay with your brother.
That would be it.
Unless that's weird.
Is it weird?
You don't have to have him here all the time.
You can have him sometimes or whatever or whatever.
But no, anytime we can remember that.
That's the favorite.
My favorite thing I just did today was talk about my nephew.
Yeah.
So it was awesome to see a photo of him.
And thank you for sharing.
And thank you for your service, Mr. Max Nugent.
We appreciate that.
Jim Jeffries, two limb policy.
Policy is out now.
Check it out.
I'll share it on social networks in just a few minutes as soon as you get out of here.
Thanks so much, dude, and congratulations on everything, dude.
Thanks, bro.
Yeah.
You too.
Now I'm just falling on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
