This Past Weekend - Theo Von - #601 - Dusty Slay

Aug. 7, 2025 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

02:01:59

#601 - Dusty Slay

Dusty Slay is a stand up comedian from Opelika, Alabama. Check out his new special “Wet Heat” streaming now on Netflix, and his podcast “We’re Having a Good Time”. Dusty joins Theo to talk about growing up in a semi-Laotian trailer park, selling pesticides in Charleston, and why he’s hunkering down in an orchard before AI takes over the world. Dusty Slay: https://www.instagram.com/dustyslay/?hl=en ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo and download their new web browser Comet at ⁠https://comet.perplexity.ai/⁠ Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Blue Chew: Go to http://bluechew.com to get your first month of BlueChew FREE with promo code THEO! Rocket Money: Go to http://rocketmoney.com/theo to cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Ship Station: Sign up for your free trial at https://shipstation.com/THEO ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	into crypto or your next ones.
	You know, everyone is health hacking these days, bio hacking.
	People want to live forever.
	I was at a four-year-old's birthday party the other day.
	He said he wanted to live to be 1,100.
	I'm like, dang, buddy.
	If you are going to live that long, you're going to need to keep your NAD levels replenished.
	That's what I'm talking about, NAD.
	I'm sure you've been hearing about it.
	And between the ages of 30 and 70, your NAD levels drop off by 65%.
	NAD, it's considered the battery pack of your cells.
	Yeah, you want to keep your cells restored.
	You want to keep them refreshed.
	That's why there's true Niagén.
	Yep, true Niagén.
	It's real fountain of youth vibes, man.
	It's a science-backed way to age better.
	It's clinically proven to boost your NAD levels by up to 150%, and it's backed by over 35 human clinical studies.
	And some people are like, well, what is NAD?
	What does it do?
	Well, it just repairs and restores your cells, right?
	That's it.
	It doesn't give you like some crazy boost of energy.
	It's a long-term play.
	Andrew Huberman was on the podcast, and we were talking about it, and he said it's one of the top health hacks that he could recommend.
	So here's what I do now.
	I take True Niagen every single day.
	And right now, this past weekend, listeners get up to 25% off True Niagen with code Theo.
	Go to trueniagen.com slash THEO.
	That's TRU NIAGEN.com slash Theo.
	And use code Theo for up to 25% off your NAD levels will thank me.
	But yeah, Bobby.
	We've added some merch from when Bobby didn't wasn't helping me figure out how to talk to him or whatever.
	We have a Bobby collab that is loose now on Theo Von Story.com you can check it out and we sprinkled in some other new items and restocked some old classics again it's theovonstore.com and uh thanks so much for your support today's guest is a comedian from opa leica alabama he has a new special out on netflix called wet heat wet heat He has his own podcast called We are having a
	good time.
	I'm very thankful to spend time today with Mr. Dusty Slay.
	I'm very thankful to be here.
	I love you.
	Yeah, look, what's the, I see the hat, it's a cold, cold Wetzel hat.
	That's a cold, yeah.
	Well, what's the, what's the lightning bolt?
	I don't know, it's probably weather.
	I mean, they're doing all that weather seeding now.
	Yeah.
	That cloud seeding.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Maybe he's involved in that.
	Maybe he is, he could be.
	I wouldn't be surprised.
	Get the record deal now.
	He looks like he definitely, he looks a little humid sometimes.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I do know.
	Yeah.
	But you look great, man.
	I appreciate it.
	Yeah.
	Good to see you.
	Congratulations on the new special.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, I'm pumped.
	I mean, it feels good.
	I'm, I'm, uh, your third one's your kind of your third one?
	Kind of, yeah, I got a half hour.
	But these are, yeah, both self produced, wet heat and working, man.
	So it's fun to, you know, Netflix does is not like, hey, we're going to give you a special.
	I have to film it and then sell it to them.
	Yeah.
	So it feels good that they're buying it.
	And you do the work, man.
	Yeah.
	So you were trending yesterday or the day before on Netflix.
	That had to feel good.
	Yeah, it felt good.
	I hit seven.
	That was, you know, last time I think I hit two.
	No way.
	But seven is still good though.
	I like seven.
	Well, a lot of people are still really stuck in that missing woman off the cruise ship.
	Oh, okay.
	And it's hard to go against that.
	Yeah, because they put a special up against TV.
	So if you watch a full season of a show, then that's like, you know, each episode is a watch.
	You have to watch a special over and over again to get that kind of You're lying.
	I think that's how it works, yeah.
	Like if you're watching Seinfeld, every episode is a watch.
	Yeah.
	And most people watch a comedy special one time.
	Oh, if someone's watching it more than one time, they're not Yeah, they're I think they're probably kidnapped or whatever.
	They're not doing that.
	They're locked in my basement.
	Yeah.
	And they're also called my wife.
	Yeah.
	Dude, you know what I was thinking?
	Essentially, dude, they don't have any more.
	There's not a lot of cross eyed people anymore.
	Yeah, you don't see it a lot.
	Maybe glasses are fixing it, but yeah, you don't see it.
	Were you part of like that cross-eyed realm or whatever?
	No, no, I mean, I don't think I was ever cross-eyed.
	I might have been in the realm.
	Yeah.
	'Cause I remember people with an eye, you know, And the guy, the guy had a bad eye.
	You know, I think he had a glass eye.
	And he, I think he was excited.
	I was in there.
	Oh yeah.
	Because he didn't have anyone to tell stories to.
	He talked to me for a long time.
	That's beautiful.
	So they are still out there.
	They're just in, they're hidden away.
	And that's McMenville, Tennessee.
	Yeah, McMenville, Tennessee.
	Have you been there?
	Is that a nice community?
	It is nice.
	I got a little land there.
	I got a little cabin where I'm trying to build an orchard.
	But McMenville feels real tucked away.
	It's a good bit off the interstate.
	Wow, that's beautiful looking.
	Yeah, a lot of kayaking, a lot of really?
	Yeah, this is the nursery capital of the world, they say.
	Because of what, just birth rate or whatever?
	No, like trees, like plant nursery.
	Oh, damn, brother.
	Mother hell, yeah.
	No, I'm from Opalika, Alabama.
	Oh, okay, sorry, you're from Alabama.
	But I got, you know, I just, uh, during COVID, I was, uh, I don't know what's happening.
	I had a little money, so I bought, uh, ten acres of land.
	Oh, yeah, God.
	And I was like, if we never get to go back out to stores again, I want to walk around some pasture land.
	Yeah.
	You know, and McMinnville, I mean, I walked into a restaurant there with a mask on, and that place was packed.
	and I don't think they had ever seen a mask.
	And I was like, well, that's what I'm talking about.
	Yeah.
	I ripped it off.
	I mean, I was like, this is freedom out here.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you gotta yell right when you pull it off, you know?
	Just to let people know, oh, he didn't mean the mask.
	Exactly.
	Like he may have gotten the shot, but they'll never get the homophobia out of him.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	They'll never shake that.
	Yeah.
	I mean, he may end up cross eyed again.
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	Yeah.
	Because sometimes a cross eyed guy looks like someone that wants to yell a racial slur but just won't let it out.
	Like if he did, it would just fix his fucking sight.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I mean, then you don't know who he's looking at when he says that's true.
	So it could be aimed at anybody.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's beautiful.
	But yeah, you don't see it anymore.
	I just remember when I was a kid, you would see more of that.
	Didn't you think you saw more of that?
	Yeah, I felt like there was like always like a slower class when I was in high school where you would see them come through the hallway.
	And you sometimes, some of them, you were like, I don't know why they're in there.
	And others, you could clearly see why they were in there.
	I feel like there would be a guy with real thick glasses and you would not know what he's looking at.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Just like he almost like he should have worked for a submarine, but they discontinued him when they like made the technology or whatever yeah yeah like oh he should be the one on top of the sub holding his breath oh yeah yeah oh dude totally bro the first wig that they ever had in our town they put in learning disabled man and i've talked about talked actually talked about that on stage but um and shout out brian purvis i just put some money on his books actually he's uh he didn't do it he might have done it but he's in he's in i think he's in jail now but they'd never seen a white kid that
	wanted to be black and they threw him in there oh Yeah.
	That's too bad.
	The guy just had some style and some flair about him.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But he would just be in the hall like doing like invisible crossovers.
	on all the other hands.
	So he was just like playing like just full court offense against the rest of the day.
	He probably liked that he was in there.
	He's like, this is easy.
	This is a dream for me.
	He probably did, man.
	So far to get to the back of the bus.
	Yeah, yeah, true dude.
	Yeah, man.
	I just there were times I remember you see that.
	Like, I just remember there used to be more disabilities that were normal.
	I felt like, normalized.
	Yeah, you know, like maybe they just didn't know where to put people, right?
	So they were just wandering around.
	And, you know, I grew up in a trailer park.
	So I felt like there was a little bit of that in the trailer park.
	Yeah.
	You never knew if someone was just like, you know.
	real redneck real country or if they're just you know they got uh a speech impediment.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, well, dude, even the name Dusty, I mean, I remember there were names that were kind of, I don't want to say weather related, but off like sunny.
	Like a windy.
	Yes, sunny, windy.
	Dusty.
	Drizzle got into like the black kind of name.
	Yeah, Drizzle.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But there was other ones that was like Misty.
	Did we say Misty?
	No, we didn't.
	Yeah.
	That was a big one.
	Misty was very popular.
	Misty felt like, I know some Misty, so I'm cute.
	Talk traction, but it felt like, yeah, it was like they were attractive, but a little loose with it sometimes.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Definitely.
	Like they put their bra on but wouldn't touch, like wouldn't snap it together in the back.
	Yeah.
	They want, yeah, they wanted people to see it.
	Yeah.
	Oh dude, Misties were usually pretty cute, weren't they?
	I think so.
	I can't think of an unattractive Misti ever.
	I know a few Misties.
	That was kind of country hot, man.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, and you get maybe get a little misty eyed around them.
	Mm.
	Maybe that's why they named them that.
	Yeah, I'm trying to think, uh, yeah, sunny, dusty, misty.
	Oh, there was one more.
	We had a girl, her stormy.
	Oh Yeah.
	Yeah.
	We had a girl named Stormy Bernard that used to play volleyball in our town and they didn't even have volleyball but she told everybody she played it or whatever.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	She had good legs.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	If you have good legs, it's believable that you play volleyball or softball.
	Yeah.
	That's believable.
	Girls with good legs and just a stoutness about them.
	Like an attractive stoutness.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's nice.
	Yeah, dude.
	I love that.
	I love that about growing up like in a kind of a rural area.
	Because we weren't in a trailer park.
	We were just kind of like in a white.
	Just like it wasn't super red neck bus.
	It was just like kind of trashy.
	Yeah.
	And no judgment.
	Shout out to everybody.
	from McGee Street, but it just was what it was.
	You know, they know it.
	Nobody was fucking, nobody was pretending what was going on.
	Yeah, we had a trailer park.
	Our trailer park was like half Asian.
	We had a lot of Laocean people in Opalika.
	So really?
	Yeah.
	So our bus stop was, you know, me and the Asian kids.
	Oh, that's beautiful.
	Yeah, it was fun.
	Dude, you all should have made a music video or something.
	That's beautiful.
	Yeah.
	It did seem exotic.
	And as I got older, I felt like when I was getting off the bus with the Asian kids, it made me, it's like, it felt like because you feel insecure about getting off at a trailer park.
	But when it's with the other Asian kids, you feel like, well, you know, we got something going on here.
	Right.
	It's almost like, look, I'm here supporting them.
	It gives you that.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I got, you know, I got a vibe.
	Yeah.
	You know.
	God, we're doing something.
	You wouldn't even understand it.
	Yeah.
	You don't get what we're going on.
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	Yeah.
	If you'd got off the bus with a bunch of extra people, literally people would have thought, on my street, people would have thought that bus came from outer space.
	Like, this didn't even, I'm sure it had to be like that by you.
	Like, do you have Laotian friends there?
	Yeah.
	I mean, they were my age.
	Yeah.
	We were friends.
	We hung out.
	One guy named Enoi.
	We used to hang out.
	That was Enoi.
	Enoi.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And we used to hang out.
	We were, we were, and there were others, you know, there was a guy named Chukiyot.
	He was a little older than me.
	And then there was Hook.
	And then they had a sister named Sherry.
	Ooh.
	Sherry's fr pretty hot.
	Yeah, Sherry was hot.
	Sherry was hot.
	I had I actually found some pictures of Sherry that she gave me when she was when I was a senior.
	It's probably like her junior pictures.
	Yeah.
	I found them in a notebook.
	Did you?
	I was like, wow, still got these pictures of Sherry.
	That's nice, dude.
	Yeah.
	God, she sounds hot, dude.
	I, um Nam Burry.
	Nam Burry was the last name.
	Nam Burry?
	Yeah.
	Sherry Nam Burry?
	Sherry Nam Burry, yeah.
	God, sign me up.
	Yeah.
	We had a girl named Treasure in our neighborhood, too, and she was hot.
	Oh, yeah.
	That feels oddly weather related, like pirate ship, like you're out on the waters, finding some treasure.
	Yeah, stormy, dusty., treasure, all those are kind of rain.
	I didn't have any rains, but that's a name.
	Oh yeah.
	That's a name.
	I know a country ass rain lady that lives here.
	Oh yeah?
	I know a like a real country lady named Rain.
	What, um, what was that trailer park like, man?
	How was the vibes over there?
	Was it pretty cool?
	It was awesome.
	I mean, I loved it.
	We had it was like on a dirt road, about twenty trailers probably, some tucked away a little bit in the woods.
	And then on the front, like on the main street, was houses.
	So we had some brick houses.
	Then behind those was some trailers.
	And then on the end, two double wides.
	Oh.
	We had a Enoy lived in one double wide.
	And then a guy, he went to a different school nicknamed.named Squirrel.
	And that was my friend.
	He had an above ground pool.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	So Squirrel had it going on.
	I mean, his parents were fighting all the time.
	Yeah.
	But they were, you know, he had a stepdad named Sid, and Sid was always yelling at him.
	But you could fight as much as you want when you're able to cool off in a damn above ground pool.
	Exactly.
	Fucking heat things up.
	Yeah, we would pull out the tarp and we had a slip and slide going, some Dawn dish detergent, huge tarp in his back yard.
	I mean, that was where it was at.
	Squirrel had it going on.
	Oh, well, it sounds like he was doing well.
	In our neighborhood, they had some dudes were over there smoking and getting BJs or whatever in an abandoned above ground.
	Oh, yeah.
	So something had happened.
	There had been, I don't know what had happened, but something had happened.
	It could have been a gravity thing, it could have been domestic dispute, someone knifed it out or whatever, but the above ground, the water came out of it.
	Oh yeah.
	And then over time or whatever, like, men would hide from their wives over there and probably smoke a little weed or something at night or whatever, you know?
	I always heard about that kind of stuff, like, these kind of things going on.
	I never could get involved in that as a kid.
	Really?
	Yeah, I mean, I felt like I was like, you know, I was like a good kid.
	I never could get involved in that BJ's in the above ground pool situation.
	Damn, bro.
	Yeah.
	And maybe that's for the best, you know?
	I think it is.
	It turned out, you know, because the cool kidids in the trailer park life, they go to jail.
	They end up in jail.
	Yeah, you're right.
	You know what I mean?
	Because they got, you know, they're they're getting into trouble and it sounds cool.
	They're the trouble shirt on.
	They're tattooing each other.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But then they end up in jail and you're like, oh, I'm glad I wasn't like as cool.
	Now I was cool, but I was, you know, cool in the not getting into trouble way.
	Yeah, you were like a Laotian hero.
	Yeah, because the Laotian parents weren't letting that go down.
	They weren't involved in that either.
	I don't even know that they liked them hanging out with me to be honest.
	Wow, just because you were like, you were close enough adjacent to the other group.
	They want you to be a gateway drug to Yeah, and I was wearing bandanas and stuff, you know, I was like, you know, camouflage bandanas, not red or blue.
	Yeah, like Willie Robinson or whatever.
	Yeah.
	Is it Robinson?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, more like that.
	You know what?
	I'll be honest with you.
	I always put a T in there unnecessarily.
	And it may have, it may have, they may have gotten rid of it.
	Who knows?
	A lot of people are trying to hide from taxes.
	Yeah.
	You know what I'm saying?
	They're like, oh, no, no, no, this is Willie Robinson.
	I'm Robinson.
	Yeah, I will admit we look we look similar.
	Yeah.
	I'll tell you straight off.
	I'm Roberson.
	Are you too hot or cold?
	No, I feel great.
	Okay, great.
	Perfect temperature really.
	Feels good.
	Thanks.
	Yeah, I feel pretty good.
	I'm wearing I'm trying a different shirt on, trying to look a little different some days.
	There's a lot of times I don't feel like doing I want to stay in a similar pattern.
	I don't want to try something super new.
	But then every now and then, maybe three times a year, I'll get up and I'll try this.
	Yeah.
	Shirt kind of.
	Those kinds of shirts are hard for me.
	I feel like the nips always come through for me.
	Oh really?
	Yeah, this is working here.
	So it works through all nipples?
	I guess so.
	I guess I do.
	Yeah.
	I don't feel like that.
	I don't feel like it all the time, but if I wear a real thin, like I used to wear thin shirts for work, and yeah, I could feel like I'd, I need the undershirt.
	Yeah.
	Ooh.
	The undershirt, I never got into the undershirt.
	I was a big undershirt guy.
	You were.
	Yeah.
	What took you there?
	Well, I guess you just told me.
	Well, I feel like undershirts were the thing for a while.
	Even t-shirts.
	When I was in school, we would wear two t-shirts.
	Oh, that's crazy.
	You never, well, you grew up in Louisiana.
	It's a bit hotter there.
	That's true.
	But you already had a shirt on to flex and be like, oh, because you in our neighborhood, we have people without shirts on.
	Oh, yeah.
	So to be like, I'm going to wear two shirts.
	Yeah.
	And some guys like, you know, it looked like you took his shirt.
	Oh, it just fucking.
	He didn't know a lot of math, but I'll tell you this.
	That didn't add up.
	Or either he was like, you hold my shirt.
	If I need it, I'll come to you.
	But don't wrinkle it.
	Keep it on.
	Keep it fresh.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I did.
	I do remember in the neighborhood, like in our neighborhood, like if you got good grades.
	Like, that kind of shit wasn't cool, really.
	You didn't want to be like, too smart.
	You didn't want, you know, you kind of just had to play the game of, like, fitting in but not fitting too in.
	Yeah, you know, my dad would make fun of me for reading but also wanted me to make good grades.
	And I was like, I got it's one or the other here.
	You can't make fun of me for doing the homework and go, why are you not passing?
	Oh, you can't have your CAKE and eat it too.
	Yeah.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah.
	If you spell it in front of him, he wouldn't get it.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He would make my dad has said, I've heard my dad say, I ain't never read a book.
	He likes it.
	It's a brag for him.
	Yeah.
	And I'm not a big reader, but I've read a book, you know?
	Yeah, dude.
	Oh, in our neighborhood, it was like, if someone could whistle really good, they had fucking clout, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	Like, oh, fucking get Donnie over here.
	You can fucking hear.
	Get him over here.
	And you'd, somebody would go get Donnie and he'd come down on his bike and he'd, you know, he's an adult with a bike.
	Yeah.
	And he'd get there.
	And he'd pull up and he'd fucking have half a can of beer and then he'd whistle, you know?
	It's a weird talent.
	Yeah.
	It's like you got it, you got a little something.
	Yeah.
	There was just something like, but I think there was just like what it was like.
	That was just the energy around, you know?
	It was just pretty basic back then.
	Yeah, like even just having like Squirrel had Laserdisc.
	And I remember that my mom worked at a plant that made VHS tapes.
	Oh, God.
	So I told my mom that Squirrel had Laserdisc and she got real angry at me because I guess I came home bragging about the stuff that Squirrel had at his house and Laserdisc was a potential threat to her income.
	To your family.
	Yeah.
	You're down there in the other double wide.
	Yeah.
	Look, swimming in an above ground pool, watching Laserdisc.
	Living high on the hole.
	Yeah.
	God.
	Yeah.
	Meanwhile, my mom wasn't yelling at me like squirrel's mom was, but I'm like, these things seem cool.
	Yeah.
	I could take a little yelling for a few perks.
	Oh, yeah, for sure, dude.
	Oh, my big thing was peeing on the floor in my room.
	I remember when I was a kid, that was like one of my big tricks or whatever.
	Like, I never could whistle.
	Uh, and then I'm trying to think of what else.
	Oh, what would peeing on the floor give you?
	Just fucking being like, I can do whatever I want.
	Yeah.
	Like, my mom can't do nothing.
	I'll pee on the floor if I want.
	Okay.
	We'll show them.
	You can't pee on the floor at your trailer or your house, but I can.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	I think there was a.
	a part of me that thought like one day I'm gonna have my whole room fucking collapse right into the fucking living room.
	I'll show all these motherfuckers like an alien spaceship just landing, you know?
	Oh yeah.
	What else?
	Yeah, Arnett.
	Oh, I remember my buddy's dad got his wife.
	So my buddy's mom got her a window.
	Like their window had been out for a while.
	And he got him a window and he put it in upside down, right?
	So I was like, fuck.
	But it wasn't coming.
	Just come let it down like that.
	You let it down like it's a car.
	Yeah, that's what it was.
	Yeah.
	It wasn't bad, but it was just he might be sitting out there with his arm propped up on it like he's riding in the truck.
	Yeah, he just leans into the house like, how are you doing, baby?
	Misty's out in the yard, he's letting it down.
	Yeah, dude, shit like that, just regular shit.
	I've just been in here peeing in the floor.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Hold on, let me put a cork in my wiener and I'll come out there and take a look at that new.
	That's fucking damn.
	That thing works with gravity at Window, huh?
	That's different.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's the way.
	It really is.
	Yeah.
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	Yeah, man, there was just stuff like that about growing up.
	Was it real poor by you or did it feel organized?
	Did anyone have that trailer with the lattice work around the bottom?
	Well, I think we all had ten.
	I mean, I gotta think somebody had lattice, but you know, our trailer we had ten around.
	Okay, so you had that skirter.
	Yeah, we had it.
	Yeah, we had it covered.
	Oh yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, oh yeah, I mean, that's a that's actually not bad right there.
	That looks good.
	Yeah.
	But you know, then cats can get in there and they have babies under the trailer.
	Oh, with that lattice works?
	Yeah, they can squeeze their little head under there and then they get in there and they start tearing out your insulation and they have babies up there.
	God damn.
	And you just hear a lot of meowing all the time.
	Oh, dude, well also, a lot of those baby cats are the asbestos cats or whatever, which are, you know, because a lot of them get up in that insulation, like you're saying, they have that asbestos on them.
	And then you let them in the trailer, now you're all itchy.
	Oh, dude.
	Whatever, I would notice, I'd pet a cat about forty times and my hand would have little cuts.
	Oh yeah.
	You could give a cat allergy.
	Oh, dude.
	Yes, best of cats needs to be a group of cats that save a fucking trailer park.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, you could line the cats up as insulation if they got enough.
	Just put a little bit of tuna paste on the walls in there and have them in there.
	Yeah.
	God, yeah.
	There was something, they had lattice work.
	I remember that was one good thing you would see.
	Dude, somebody, we had a balcony or whatever.
	We lived in like, it was like four apartments next to each other.
	And they, somebody stole our bat, would steal the wood from our balcony, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	And so like just wood they had laying up there or like, oh, you're railing.
	Oh, they'd steal it all.
	If you can find that photo, it's out there somewhere.
	So we come back sometimes and my sister, each one of the bedrooms had like a door upstairs that would go out to the balcony, right?
	And it didn't get you anywhere.
	It was still in our neighborhood.
	We thought like, you know, I remember the first time going up there.
	You go right there.
	Now zoom in on that bitch.
	Oh, they took your whole porch.
	Oh, fuck yeah, they did.
	But then you'd see it, you know, three weeks later, you'd see they'd have built a fucking fence or something in their shit.
	And we're like, bitch.
	You're like, that's the color of my porch.
	Yeah.
	That's our fucking balcony, bitch.
	And I'm like, no, it ain't.
	Like motherfucker.
	Who do you think carved God help us into one of those boards?
	Yeah.
	With my initials under it.
	That's why you got to pee in your room.
	You can't go out on the balcony anymore.
	I mean, shit.
	Zoom back in on that bitch.
	I haven't looked at this in years.
	But yeah, dude, people would fucking steal the.
	the wood and they would steal we had a fence right in front of the that bottom door downstairs and so people would steal that so you'd have to go fucking find it my mom slapped a kid one time because they took it and she had to go to jail we had a barn my dad had a barn and we used to we would take wood from the barn to build a clubhouse.
	Oh, yeah.
	And we thought the barn was abandoned.
	And my dad went out there one day.
	He's like, where's all the wood?
	And then he sees our clubhouse.
	Dude, imagine having such a shitty childhood that you think part of your fucking home is abandoned.
	You're like, well, fucking, that's abandoned.
	He's like, that's where I work.
	That's crazy, dude.
	Yeah, but the trailer park that I lived in, it did feel good.
	It felt organized.
	It felt, you know, but there was, you know, there was for a while, my sister lived next door to us in a trailer.
	So we had a trailer, my sister and her husband had the next one, and she married in.
	to a guy who had two kids already.
	So there was, you know, a bunch of kids.
	We had our own little courtyard there in the middle.
	It's nice and it kind of sounds like.
	And then people, my mom had a phone and people would come over and borrow the phone, you know, a landline.
	Oh yeah.
	So it'd have that long cord.
	And so people would be out on the back porch on the phone with the door closed, like they still want privacy.
	Even though they're using my phone.
	Yeah.
	Like, hey, look.
	We're gonna listen.
	Okay.
	You came over here, we're gonna listen.
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude, that was, things like that were so much fun.
	Well, one thing that money gets you is privacyacy.
	Or even just like, that's one thing I even saw, I think when I was young.
	Like when you were poor, everything was right there.
	You could hear the neighbors, you know, in the apartment, someone else would cook something.
	It would come through your vents.
	Oh yeah.
	So you're hungry and you're like, fuck, they got all that shit.
	And I'm going to be yelling through the vents, you know, fuck you all, you know, but order, you know, but also ordering like a number seven or whatever.
	Oh yeah.
	So, you know, it's just like, but you would hear if someone was doing something bad or whatever, if someone was domestic dispute, you would hear all that.
	Yeah, my buddy, his, his, his mom, he lived next door.
	His mom had him when she was really young.
	So she was like, you know, we were like, you know, early teens and she was still pretty attractive.
	And her and her husband, her boyfriend, I heard them having sex and the trailer walls are real thin.
	So I could hear it out in the yard.
	And I was like, me and my buddy, not the buddy that was his mom, but another guy, we're like, creeping up to the, and my mom's out there raking the yard.
	She's like, Get away from there.
	But we're like, you know, we're like, This is pretty fun.
	We're like, Yeah, what's happening?
	Yeah, we're hearing this attractive lady having sex.
	God.
	Midden of the day.
	Oh yeah.
	That was like, you know, that could have been Cinemax for us.
	Oh, dude, you don't just get something like that unless God has faith..
	I don't think anyway.
	That's not an accident.
	First of all, two people comfortable enough to make love.
	And was it drug-induced, you think?
	Or at least alcohol-induced.
	Okay.
	So, but yeah, but at least two people making love during the day.
	And neither one of them is a victim of something.
	And they're being loud.
	Yeah.
	They're brave then.
	It's like, you know, we can hear it.
	My mom's doing yard work out.
	We're into it, though.
	We're like, this is what I'm talking about.
	Well, what if you don't really figure out and you see your mom just rubbbbing the, like, the rake across the ground.
	And it's like, oh.
	And you're like, what is she?
	What kind of new grass is that?
	She's like, oh, she just gave you a rake.
	And you're like, I'm like, you're working too hard.
	She's like, I enjoy it.
	She's trying to cover for him.
	Yeah.
	Sorry, man.
	I was just a laughing like this a bunch, but that's hilarious, dude.
	Yeah, I just like, there was always something great about being in, like, in a shitty neighborhood, kind of.
	You know, um, because everybody was right.
	If you wanted a friend, they were right there.
	They were everybody, everything was right there.
	But then also all the drama and the bullshit was right there.
	Like if people were fighting, if people were like, you know, the dad was leaving, everything was right there.
	So everybody knew everything you couldn't.
	It kind of was sad sometimes because you didn't feel like anything was personal to you.
	There was nothing you could keep for yourself.
	Yeah.
	Does that make any sense?
	Yeah, I think living in trailers, you're at least spread out a little bit.
	Whereas apartments, yeah, you would be right up.
	I mean, because I've lived in apartments since then, but, yeah we called the police on a church one time for playing their music too late uh on a weekday like the church was real close.
	I still think about that that we all agreed at the trailer to call the police on the church.
	It couldn't have been that loud.
	We could just hear it.
	Yeah.
	It wasn't keeping us up.
	Right.
	But we were like, no, I don't think so, guys.
	God, this is, I mean, they need to turn that shit down.
	Yeah.
	Because that's how it starts.
	I mean, should they turn that down?
	Someone else's like, someone else's had a beer and they're like, fuck it.
	And they can't hear my music.
	It just gets weird.
	There's always talk like tornadoes is such a big thing with children's parks.
	Was that a part of y'all's thing or not really?
	Well, I think any storm is scary when you live in a trailer, right?
	It's like, you know, we were just talking about weather and like, what storm is the scariest?
	And someone said, earthquakes was the scariest for them.
	But I'm like, I grew up in a trailer.
	Earthquake was the least of our worries.
	There's nothing even really to fall on you.
	But it's tornadoes or tornadoes, even wind, we grew up under pine trees.
	We had a ice storm once that froze a tree limb and the tree limb fell and it stabbed through the roof of the trailer.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	And hit a shelf.
	My mom had a bunch of ceramic owls on it and they went everywhere.
	Yeah, it's heartbreaking.
	Yeah.
	It is heartbreaking.
	But so all weather.
	And so, yeah, tornado.
	We had tornadoes blow down trees on our trailer one time.
	Oh, well down in Alabama, I think they have the worst trees.
	If a strong storm tornado does show up.
	Yeah.
	They literally have these tall pines.
	You can't really do anything with them.
	They drop pine cones or some of the fun around the holidays or whatever, but they're a million feet high and literally just waiting to freaking kill someone.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, fell one fell across the trailer, another fell on top of it.
	It's almost like they're doing a game like that, like hands on the baseball bat, like whoever gets to the top, you know?
	Oh yeah.
	It's like the pine, they're just going to keep falling until someone, yeah.
	And trailers just right up.
	I mean, the tree weighs more than the trailer.
	There's more wood in the tree.
	Yeah.
	Then there is in the trailer.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's like the tree is almost like here.
	Use us.
	We're right here.
	You're living in this aluminum.
	The trees trying to help.
	Oh, God, dude.
	Yeah, that kind of shit just fucking.
	I'm trying to think of whatever else really got me.
	Oh, dude.
	Well, one time.
	when it froze when there was a freezing in the south it was a big thing huge deal and one kid i remember we had a basketball game and it was a freezing and we were playing like the rival town and it froze, right?
	And it snowed at halftime and it hadn't snowed in our town in probably thirty years or something.
	And so people were fucking going crazy and fucking drinking Dr Pepper really fast and just fucking amped up, you know?
	And stealing gas from each other, that kind of shit.
	Yeah.
	And one kid, this kid, Lucas, had gone outside and an icicle, I guess, had formed on a tree at some point and had fallen and hit him right under his fucking eye and messed his eye up really badly.
	Yeah.
	And his mom tried to, like, sue the city or whatever and all kinds of shit.
	And she's like, I remember she's like, he was never the same.
	And I knew that fucking kid for that.
	He was never the same before it happened.
	You know what I'm saying?
	He was Yeah, the icicle didn't really mess up his path.
	Yeah.
	I think you didn't get it.
	You didn't get a strong take on your son before that icicle hit.
	Right.
	Oh, it's easy to show up once there's a weather suit, you know?
	Yeah, the city's eye will show us some of his accomplishments prior to this.
	Yeah, and he was just a downward stock out of the gate, I think, you know?
	I mean, he couldn't even fucking whistle.
	I remember.
	He was like, boo.
	But yeah, there was something growing up like in like a place that like, I don't know.
	Shit like that was just fun, man.
	Well, yeah, you just get you got some character.
	There's not much going on.
	You know, I mean, you know, we You made the most of it.
	Yeah.
	I mean, we were just hanging.
	I mean, talk about pine cones.
	It's like, we love pine cones.
	We used to throw them at each other.
	You build fires out of the pine straw, burn pine cones.
	Get a fresh pine cone that's not spread out, it's real hard.
	Oh yeah.
	A lot of spikes on it.
	A virgin one or underage when some guys call.
	Yeah.
	Not like these old, old, wore out stretched out pine cones.
	Oh yeah.
	Like a fresh green one.
	We'd throw rocks at each other.
	We'd ride the bike.
	We'd I remember there were these girls riding bik bikes up and down and we were throwing stones at him.
	Fuck yeah.
	And My buddy missed and hit me in the head.
	Oh yeah.
	And I was bleeding.
	I started crying.
	You know, there's no one to sue.
	Also, dude, that's another thing about being poor.
	There's no, who are you going to sue the other person?
	Nobody has shit.
	No attorney is going to, yeah.
	Either one of you guys.
	Dude, one time we're riding on the school bus and this kid, Jason, and he was, came from a pretty shirtless family.
	Like, somebody got this shirt, but they had to, like, not everybody got it or whatever.
	But he on the bus that day, he's like, he found a rock that was pretty good.
	And he's like, I'm throwing this bitch today.
	You know, he was just fired up or whatever, because I think his birthday was coming up and he's like i'm throwing this motherfucker today somebody's gonna get hit by this bitch and he kept showing it to me we kind of hung out in different little realms of school they had like at our school they had the hick tree uh prep tree um blacks kind of went out wherever they wanted kind of um And then hick tree prep tree and one other thing.
	I think it was just like people that listen to sound garden or whatever, you know?
	Oh yeah, like a yeah, like a grunge.
	Yes, yeah.
	Like a grunge thing.
	And so anyway, he was over by the hick tree and he's like, and I would hang out over by the prep tree.
	I just had more friends over there.
	And at one point.
	He had his rock, he's all ready.
	I just forgot about it.
	So at recess that day, I'm fucking hanging out over there.
	Fucking rock comes, hits me right.
	Oh, no.
	Of all the people, he didn't even aim at him.
	He just hum that bitch.
	Fucking took me right out.
	You're hanging out under the wrong tree that day, but still.
	I'm like, dude, just fucking, I'm the only guy you know over there.
	And he probably was just throwing at the prep tree.
	100%.
	He's just like, I want to hit somebody under the prep tree.
	They think they're better than me.
	Yeah, totally.
	I want to hit people under the prep tree.
	That's my attitude.
	That would have been my.
	I didn't throw the rock, but, you know, my mindset was I'd like to throw a rock over there.
	Yeah, somebody's going to feel a little bit of my pain today, dude.
	And I had friends over there too.
	Yeah.
	I had friends in the hick tree, the prep tree, the black tree.
	I had that friend under all of them.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	God, dude.
	And I might even even be over there just bumming money off of it.
	Even the Laotian tree.
	Yeah.
	They were all my friends.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	I met some good Laotians.
	You know who's Laotian is?
	There's a comedian named Lucas Sealy.
	Oh, I don't know Lucas.
	Lucas Sealy.
	He lives in Montana now, I believe.
	He took me up there to, they had a Montana Comedy Festival.
	We had a good time up there.
	But he's Laotian.
	I met some decent Laotians over the years and I'd love to meet more of them to be honest with you.
	Well, Opalika is the spot.
	I think that's the Laotian of Alabama.
	Yeah.
	Laos of Alabama.
	Oh, yes.
	Laotian's not the country.
	Yeah.
	Oh, there you go right there.
	It's Lucas.
	I believe he is Laotian.
	He runs a, yeah, a lot of good food there.
	He, his family has a egg roll truck.
	Okay.
	Wet Heat, man.
	That's what you're calling the special.
	Yeah, wet heat.
	And it's, I like the, I like the name because you don't know what the name might mean, right?
	You don't know.
	It could be, hey, we're, we're talking, we're doing talking, we're doing a 90s sitcom, there's a little murder, a little sex.
	You don't know, it could be a buddy cop film that takes place in Miami.
	But it's a weather joke, wet heat, humidity.
	I go out to Phoenix, you know, and they're always like, oh, I go, it's real hot out here.
	And they go, yeah, but it's a dry heat, you know?
	And like their, like their heat is better than my heat, right?
	And I get defensive and I go, yeah, but I like a wet heat.
	So that's what I tell them, I like a wet heat.
	So that's why it's called that.
	I like it.
	It's a great special.
	Like I had another one called Working Man that's on Netflix now.
	It's very good.
	I think wet heat's better.
	I like that.
	I'm very pumped about it.
	I'm all about a full spa.
	I got a lot of callbacks.
	You know, I got a lot of things that couple of themes that come around a couple of times.
	And I like that.
	It's like a, you know, it's like a Pink Floyd album.
	The whole thing matters.
	Yeah, I watched about 15 minutes of it and I've enjoyed it, man.
	I like how I kind of get in.
	And then there's some spots where I really just surprised.
	Like I knew, you always know you're going to laugh most of the time, but there's some spots where I really just found myself just like surprised I can't tell if it's the delivery.
	I don't know what it is, but just really enjoying it, man.
	Well, I appreciate that.
	And, you know, it's about seventy minutes, so if you watch it fifteen minutes at a time, you got you got about I don't know, I'm not good at math, but maybe about four more settings.
	Oh, yeah, I could invite friends over and have it in installments.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Come over, watch another fifteen minutes of the special with me.
	Yeah, I was trying to think, because I don't know if I'm at the part, oh, I'm at a part where there's a lot of urine in it and talking about piping growing up and how many times men pip or don't pip.
	Yeah, I mean, I got, you know, I got a lot of body functions in there, probably more so than any special I put out, but I like, you know, I just, I pip a lot.
	I drink a lot of water and I'm out here piping.
	Yeah.
	And it's a wet heat.
	Yeah, it is a wet heat.
	How do you?
	Piping is a wet heat.
	It's the ultimate, bro.
	Wow, that's something I missed.
	That's a theme I missed.
	Well, I won't even wear, I notice at night, honestly, Dusky, I won't even wear those tight underpants anymore because I don't, it pushes on my bladder.
	Yeah, I don't like that.
	I need to think about this because I've been buying these kind of semi tight underpants or whatever, and it kind of, you know, it's tight.
	The band up here is tight.
	Yeah.
	And so then my bladder doesn't even get to fully expand and hold a normal amount.
	Oh yeah.
	And so all, like twice a night I have to get extra just because I've chosen tight underpants.
	Yeah, you have to just get loose with it.
	Just let it free., you know?
	I want to almost make a good cotton undershirt because they say a lot of those polyamorous or polymethylene underpants or whatever, the plastic is getting in people's nuts.
	I'm all about 100% cotton.
	I wear 100% cotton.
	Underwear, these socks are not.
	Jeans are, shirt is, 100% cotton.
	God.
	I'm all about it.
	I like linen, wool, cotton.
	That's where I'm at these days.
	Really?
	Not together, all on their own.
	Oh yeah, I don't mix meats, you know?
	Yeah, I don't want to blend it.
	Yeah.
	That's yeah, that's where it's at though.
	And I think I got like a pee paranoia almost.
	Like if I'm getting on the plane, I'm like, I got to go pee because if I get on the plane and then we sit there for a while, I won't have, you know, because you get, if you board early, you sit down.
	That's a good point.
	And then by the time everybody else is boarded and then you take off, it's like, it's a long time to get to pee.
	There's no way to win that exactly.
	Yeah.
	And then some flight attendant goes in the bathroom and they're in there all day.
	I'm like, what are you doing in there?
	Sudoku.
	Yeah.
	We know it.
	Yeah.
	So.
	We know it.
	Yeah.
	But yet, it's like, there is no way to leverage that perfectly where you, because yeah, if you get on early, then you have to wait.
	all that time before you even leave.
	Whereas if you wait and pee and get on last, that's kind of nice.
	But then you have to wait all that whole time in that line.
	Yeah, I feel like sometimes I feel like I go, no, I want a board at the end.
	I'm just going to chill.
	But I can't.
	I can't chill.
	I'm like, no, I got to get on right now.
	I got to get on.
	Let's go ahead and get on.
	Yeah.
	There's a lot of, I don't want to call it anxiety because I'm not anxious about it.
	But I'm like, no, I could get on right now.
	I'm going to go ahead and do it.
	And then I'm on.
	Yeah.
	Because anything out there, you see the gate agent, you see the gate agent, they're basically the Saint Peter with a lot of times mental conditions, right?
	They don't fucking they'll be like gates closed gates not closed they'll be like we're full not you know what I'm saying?
	You don't know how they're gonna be feeling and they you know they don't get treated well by people I realize that but it must be a hard life they don't seem happy and then you every every time you go talk to them they just do like this they just do like this they're just typing away like that cat like that cat me yeah they're just typing away and it's like what are you typing?
	What are you typing back there?
	Oh they're probably just typing down the f word over and over again.
	That's what I'd be doing, you know, I think anyway.
	I'm going to ask to see the screen.
	What else?
	Oh, you've sold pesticides, Ebby.
	Is that true?
	Yeah, sold pesticides.
	I was a pesticide sale.
	I sold to Lowe's and Home Depot.
	That's what I did for years.
	I lived in Charleston, South Carolina.
	Did you really do it?
	I used to live on King Street.
	Oh, you lived on King Street?
	I used to live above the Bay Bay store for probably about eight months.
	Oh, amazing.
	I lived on Burns Alley, which is right off King.
	Was it over there by Kick and Chicken or something?
	Yeah, really close to Kick and Chicken.
	Oh, it was so good.
	I used to tear the cake and Chicken up.
	If it was good, God.
	Yeah.
	Oh, hell yeah, dude.
	Yeah, I lived in Charleston for ten years, from 2003 to 2014.
	Great place.
	I loved it.
	So that's where I started comedy and I waited tables.
	Yes, kick and chicken, right?
	Yeah.
	But it used to be different.
	That must be another location.
	They had a downtown like I think downtown's gone now, the downtown kick and chicken's gone.
	Yeah, it's been a while.
	Yeah.
	They had a little alley and then they had that Harris Teeter over there.
	Was that Teeter?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Had that joint.
	And then I worked at a bar called O'Brien.
	I think it was called O'Brien's.
	I think I remember an old bar.
	It was an Irish bar.
	On King Street.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I think it was.
	And they had a band that played in there like once a week.
	It was a cover band.
	And I would go listen to that.
	What was the cover band.
	I feel like there was like a Molly Janes or a Janes, ah, there was something like that.
	They were there forever.
	Yeah.
	Dude, I've tried to remember the name of that cover band for the past five years and I can't remember.
	Ah, yeah, they were there forever.
	I remember hearing them when I first moved there, everybody was advertising them and then they were still going.
	And they would play Climb to Safety by Wise Fred Panic and I would they would play a lot like songs everyone knew like sing alongs.
	Yeah.
	But they also played Climb to Safety by Wise Fred Panic and I fucking loved it.
	And one time they let me get up there and ring like a ring a little bell or something during.
	Oh yeah.
	I mean, like, pre internet Charleston was like, I don't know, it was just great.
	It was like this nice little hidden city.
	I lived on Folly Beach for a while.
	Dude, Folly Beach, people would surf out there.
	Yeah.
	People would surf angry out there.
	And she'd be like, You dropped in on my wave.
	And she'd be like, Dude, what are you?
	I know.
	What is anyone talking about?
	I know.
	I know.
	You're just supposed to be, yeah.
	I used to hang out on the beach.
	I used to drink all the time on the beach.
	It was great.
	They had a place called the Sand Dollar, which I had to get a membership.
	They had a place called the Silver Dollar Bar, which was over on across.
	That was kind of downtown, but across.
	Oh, yeah.
	I got beaten up outside of the Silver Dollar one time, I think.
	I almost did.
	Yeah.
	So yeah, I think it was the Silver Dollar.
	Yeah.
	And Portside, they had a place over there called Portside Silver Dollar.
	Yeah, there it is, Silver Dollar.
	Yeah.
	But there's always people doing blow over there.
	Yeah.
	Thankfully.
	Okay.
	It's like, well, that's yeah, a lot of that going on in Charleston.
	Dude, I was there during 9/11.
	I went up there.
	Actually, I was, I hitchhiked up there to meet a girl that I was in love that moved away and she didn't want me to be around her and she was right.
	You know, it was getting you hitchhiked to see her.
	That's when you're willing to.
	This is before Uber.
	This is when Yeah.
	How'd you get here?
	I just rode with some strangers.
	Anything it took.
	And it was like, it was 12 hours down from Louisiana, but I got up there and yeah, it wasn't good.
	I remember I was on her porch one night and I was like, this has got to stop, you know?
	Yeah.
	And that's when I shut it down and got my act together.
	Took some of the wood from the porch on the way out.
	I'm trying to rebuild something at home here.
	What am I going to make a shrine to her out of?
	Yeah.
	obviously her porch wood is the best thing to make it out of.
	yeah thankfully nobody caught me over there and i just remember i was on that porch petting a cat that wasn't mine i don't know if it was hers and i was like god i am emotionally I've got some emotional issues, you know?
	Yeah.
	And then 911 happened when I was there, that was kind of wild, but yeah, I love Charleston, man, great place.
	Yeah, it's awesome.
	My friend said you gave a speech at his school in Louisiana.
	Murray, I think is where he grew up.
	I don't, I forgot the school he told me about.
	I believe you.
	It was a boys' school.
	I can't even remember.
	Oh, it was a boys' school?
	Yeah.
	He said, Yeah.
	It was Rummel or something?
	I think so, maybe so.
	Oh my God, dude, that just came back to me.
	Oh, it might have been when I was in just in student council, but maybe not, I don't know.
	Dude, I fucking forgot about that.
	That's crazy.
	It's weird how life will go on.
	You just remember things that happened.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, like, yeah, the brain is super weird.
	Like, you can just, it feels like channels just open up and you go, oh, whoa, here's a bunch of memories locked in here.
	Do you think our brain have that all of our memories are available in our brain?
	I think so.
	But maybe, maybe our brain remembers them differently because people will tell stories about me and I go, that's definitely not how it happened.
	Yeah.
	But am I remembering it wrong or are they remembering it wrong?
	I got punched in the face by a female firefighter once.
	Yeah.
	And this guy, my buddy, he tells the story all the time and he always tells what I said.
	And I just know that I didn't say that, but I was drunk enough to get punched in the face.
	Uh, So maybe I don't remember.
	Right.
	And then at that point, what if you know you were drunk enough, it's like, well, do I want to disrespect this story by just trying to put maybe my current ego in it, even though I but if I was drunk, I was out of control, could that have happened?
	You know?
	Yeah.
	And then it's what I realized from growing up, a lot of my friends, I'll tell stories from growing up.
	My friends are like, dude, I don't even remember that.
	I'm like, you don't fucking remember that.
	I'm like, dude, that's like the only thing that happened, like, that year, that was the only thing that happeneded?
	You don't remember?
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm just amazed that some people don't remember things.
	I think sometimes with us, as comedians, like we're spending time thinking about stuff to write jokes about it that we can recall all these things.
	But like people that are not trying to think about it, they're like, Oh, I can't believe you remember that.
	And I go, Well, this is all I do is sit around and think about this stuff.
	That's a good point.
	And even if it's not me actively doing it, there's a part of my brain that I think is obsessed with being young and growing up and like wants to have all that as much as I can.
	Here it says right here, is this perplexity man?
	We started using this perplexity, have you heard of this?
	No.
	It's an AI.
	The brain holds and organizes all the memories we are able to form and retain, but it is not a flawless or complete archive of everything we've ever experienced.
	Memories can be changed, lost or difficult to recall.
	Not everything is stored perfectly or forever.
	Hmm.
	That's interesting.
	I know.
	I wonder if I should get someone to come on sometime who knows really the depth of this.
	Yeah.
	And how could you open it up?
	They used to say acid would open different parts to your brain.
	Yeah.
	That's what they always said.
	That's why we like to take it.
	We would because we didn't think we were partying.
	No.
	We were like, we're doing an experiment.
	Yeah.
	We're hiding in an above ground pool for four hours laughing at we don't know what, but this is all under the guys' excitement.
	Yeah, this we're open and we're expanding our minds here.
	We want to I want to listen to this Pink Floyd album and understand what he means.
	Oh dude, I remember my friend, we did some LSD or something, mushrooms, I don't remember.
	And he had a flashback of an Asian kid that had allegedly lived in our town or something.
	And he got so scared and then he went and he locked himself in a closet for like five or six hours.
	And we're like, fuck, dude.
	Huh?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	And he, he had anxiety ever since then.
	Every that, that was a lot for him.
	I don't understand how locking yourself in a closet would make you, you yourself feel better.
	Yeah.
	He needed some better, a better, but I don't know, what do you do, you know?
	Yeah, I, I, and if I knocked on the door, he got very racial and very like, I don't want to say anti Asian or whatever.
	He just was going through a lot.
	And I was like, I'm not gonna fucking bother him.
	What am I gonna do?
	We're having a good time.
	Yeah, what am I gonna do?
	Get a fucking one of those like straw hats and like a fish basket and fucking just go in there and rattle his cage.
	I'm going to support my buddy.
	And that night we're at my buddy, we're at another dude's house.
	And I was like, I'm getting out of here.
	And he's like, you shouldn't leave, dude.
	You fucking took all your clothes off in the backyard.
	And I was like, yeah, well fuck you guys.
	I'm not being caged up by this fucking white hate or whatever.
	You know, I just, I get out there.
	I go get in my car as a 1984 Ford Escort.
	Oh yeah.
	And thankfully, I accidentally got in the back, right?
	I kind of stumbled trying to get out of the door, pushed the seat went forward, honked the horn, the front horn.
	Because I was in the back seat, the seat moved forward and honked the front horn.
	And his mom came out and.
	Thankfully, shut it down because I could have fucking driven off.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	I was driving.
	It's scary, man.
	Drugs and driving licenses.
	I've driven on acid many times and it's yeah.
	And it's a blast.
	I mean, it's a disaster.
	It shouldn't happen.
	But it was.
	That's another thing.
	Small towns, you know, you're out late enough.
	Nobody else is out there.
	No.
	What's the danger really?
	You know?
	Oh yeah.
	The birds are gone.
	The dogs even shut down.
	Everybody.
	Yeah.
	We would drive around.
	Me and my buddy, we drove around.
	We were like, so out of our minds.
	I was like biting the steering wheel while I was driving.
	Oh, dude.
	Iron one.
	I remember one time we drove past we just taken this LSD and we drove past a cop and he stopped us dude and he's like what the fuck are you all doing?
	blah blah blah and we caused trouble in town before and he's just like uh i don't remember what his reason was but he's like i don't want i don't want to see you i don't want to see you guys out again tonight and we're like yes sir no problem not a problem no definitely not yes sir no sir right yeah fucking we covered every base right dude fast forward five hours later we are just gleaming on this lsd we are fucking you know what i'm saying like i'm like kind of fucking being
	like oh just saying shit like oh i think there's way too many teeth in my mouth right like oh yeah we're not doing good and we realize we are coming up on the same street exactly where that cop is parked and he's fucking parked there again and we're like motherfucker we promised this dude we would not like and we're fucked up we are this is not gonna do this not gonna end well and we thought if we go this is our idea dude if we go as slow as possible he
	would won't see us right you're sneaking by yes yeah dude yes if we go fast that's how they catch everybody spe's eating.
	Yeah.
	We go as slow as possible, dude.
	All looking.
	Probably caught us so fast, dude.
	Put us all in for the night.
	You're like, hey, we're trying to get home.
	Yeah.
	You told us to get home.
	We're just looking for it.
	Yeah.
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	Did you ever run any, any issues with the pesticide?
	You run any good, any good tales from the Well, you know, I did that for like nine years and I'm just like, I got one joke out of it.
	And I, you know, I used to, you know, it was four companies.
	We sold to Lowe's and Home Depot in those four companies.
	I dated a girl that was on the competition for a while.
	Oh.
	I'm pretty sure she had a boyfriend and she was dating me at work.
	Yeah, I love that.
	So we would just, you know, like you had to go to the store and you'd have to call in to the office from the store phone.
	And then so I would go in and I would call us both in and then we would go drink for a while and then we would and then we would go back to the store and she would call us both out.
	That way the store didn't see us coming and going.
	So we had, I mean, we had a wild summer.
	I had, I had not all the same territory that she had.
	So some days I had to work.
	But on those days, it was great.
	I mean, we would just party, me and her.
	And she was like, she was real hot.
	and it was like even the other pesticide reps were like, She's dating you.
	Yeah.
	And I'm like, I guess so guys.
	I guess things are turning around.
	You just take a hit off that side, yeah.
	From that P side, yeah.
	That's right, you know, and it felt good and, you know, I should have been fired.
	I had, but, you know, I was, my sales numbers were good.
	I looked good.
	I mean, sometimes it's just who do we want to pull up to the door to sell pesticide?
	Who are people going to believe when they open the door and they see?
	Well, I'm just selling to the stores, right?
	So I don't have to go door to door.
	Okay.
	But I looked all right.
	You know, I probably was a little heavy.
	I'd been drinking a lot.
	I was, I was probably, I was drinking all the time.
	So, you know, a lot of times I'd pull up to the store, clock in, go sit in the car, smoke cigarettes, go to sleep, you know, because it's work.
	Right, right.
	Yeah, because it's like, yeah, dude, look, don't act like I haven't had a job.
	Yeah.
	And my boss was like, you gotta be there at a certain time.
	And I was like, it doesn't matter because the stores have no idea if this is my first store of the day or my second store.
	He's like, no, you gotta be there.
	And I'm like, well, if I gotta be there, this is how I'll handle it.
	Yeah.
	I'll clock in and then I'll go, you know, eat a bagel in the car and smoke cigarettes or or dip?
	Oh yeah.
	I mean, you gotta find ways to kill time.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I'm the king of killing time.
	That's you gotta be your next special.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I can sit in a car all day.
	It doesn't make any difference to me.
	You give me the radio, some nicotine, I'm there all day.
	Yeah.
	God, I love that shit, dude.
	I used to love fucking sitting in a car.
	I remember I'd fucking sit in there.
	Like, a lot of times my dad would go do something.
	I don't know what he was doing, but he because he didn't have a job or anything, but he would leave me in the car.
	And I would try to put all the seatbelts onbelts on.
	Oh yeah.
	Just do cool shit like that.
	Yeah, nothing like being left in the car as a kid back then.
	Oh.
	With no, yeah, I mean there was no.
	The cigarette lighter thing?
	Yeah.
	I had a cigarette, I had a Bronco.
	The cigarette lighter would, like, if you didn't have your hand up there, it would, it's so spring loaded it would pop out on the floor.
	Yeah, I mean there's some power to it.
	Oh, you don't wear sandals around this much.
	Oh yeah, no, no.
	Yeah.
	I loved it, yeah.
	You could, I loved that.
	The way the cigarettes were built, you know, you smoke the cigarette and then you just hold that thing right up there to it.
	That thing felt real.
	Yeah.
	I had an ashtray in there with the ashes in it.
	I mean, it wasn't coins in there.
	I was using that.
	Oh, that was so nice, dude.
	When that cigarette, because when you were kid, if your grandparents or your parents left you in the car, you could push a cigarette lighter in and you knew it was going to get hot.
	You weren't allowed around hot stuff.
	Yeah.
	You weren't allowed to have hot stuff, but that thing, you figured out how to work it, and then you take it out and you're like, I wonder if it's hot.
	And it would be it was the hottest thing they had.
	And then you're lighting paper on fire.
	You're putting paper, but your grandma's like, Where's all the receipts?
	Yeah.
	And where's my bookkeeping?
	Where's my missing posters for your stepfather?
	I don't know.
	God, that was fun, dude.
	My buddy's dad, my friend Bubby Jenkins, his dad would, I'd miss the bus or just say, fuck it or whatever, because I didn't really love the government or whatever.
	But his dad would give me a ride to school and his dad would do my spelling words and blow cigarette smoke in my face to fucking make it harder for me to fucking memorize them to challenge me.
	Dude, he'd rip two or three darts on the way there.
	You gotta love that kind of help.
	You're like, I really appreciate that, you know, because then you're good under pressure.
	Yeah.
	Like I learned to drive a stick shift with my dad yelling at me.
	Yeah.
	Like yelling at me about not knowing how to work a clutch that I've just tried for the first time today.
	Yeah.
	And so you're like, now I'm good.
	I can drive a stickship for the rest of my life.
	Oh, yeah.
	Especially when your sexuality's under threat when it came to anything back then.
	It was like, how do you know how to do this?
	Yeah.
	It's like, this is my first time.
	And he's like yelling at me.
	And we're on a backroad.
	There's not traffic behind us.
	Oh, it's, everything was a Vietnam back then at times, man.
	It was, and also the pressure just growing up, everything felt intense, you know, learning things and wanting to get them right and be cool and know the cool stuff.
	Yeah.
	I mean, my dad is, uh, knows how to do a lot of things, but is not a teacher.
	Right.
	So like you think you're doing it right and you're like, there's a lot of pressure to be doing it right.
	Yeah.
	But it's never right.
	Yeah.
	He's going to tell you how to do it.
	Even if he told you how to do it and you did it that way, he's going to be like, nah, like this.
	Yeah.
	I'm like, no, this is the way you told me though.
	Yeah, but do it like this.
	Yeah.
	We're not doing it like that.
	I don't know where you learned that shit.
	Yeah.
	We don't do it like that anymore.
	I'll tell you that.
	Oh, yeah, dude.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I would tell you a story about my dad teaching me something, but he didn't teach me shit, dude.
	And then, but he would, once I was tall enough, would expect me to be able to drive in places, right??
	Because, yeah, I mean, my dad was just so old and one day he's like, I think you can do it.
	And I was like, what?
	And he's like, I think you can drive me to Slidell.
	And I was like, I don't know.
	You know, and how far would that be for you?
	Probably 17 miles, right?
	Okay.
	I was like, I could, I don't know, but you want to do it.
	Yeah.
	You want to support your dad or whatever.
	And I did it, man.
	We fucking got out there on the interstate.
	And why would he need you to drive?
	He was so old he couldn't see that good.
	Okay.
	But we had to get there.
	And so it was like, you know, what are you going to do?
	Yeah.
	Because he used to do those credit card sign-ups at colleges.
	He'd get people to sign up for credit cards.
	And he'd get me out there on the table to call him over and whatever, you know, and, you know, make promises to him or something.
	And so we'd drive over to like Southeastern Louisiana University or Delgado or some school somewhere and we'd pull all this shit out.
	And he's giving out free candies or whatever, whistles or something, you know.
	Or it'd be like a whistle that yells a slur or something if you hit the right octave on it or frisbees, you know, shit like that.
	So he got, he got money for, for signing up people for credit cards?
	If people signed up, I think he it had to be approved and shit.
	Yeah.
	But I'd sit there and fill a couple extra out while I was there.
	Yeah.
	Fucking we're killing time.
	He had no idea what was going on.
	He'd be fucking asleep, awake.
	Fucking he'd go get a sandwich, fucking fall asleep over there.
	It was just like it was fucking it was like a huge game of hide and go seek.
	And that's why you'd need to get to Slidell.
	Yeah, for sure.
	So you're driving, you're working it.
	This is learning things.
	He may not be teaching it, but you're learning things.
	Yeah, that was it, man.
	You're learning to hustle.
	Yeah, it was a hustle, dude.
	It was fun though.
	Yeah, any other blue collar kind of jobs that you had?
	Well, I, you know, I do.
	I I I I worked in restaurants mostly.
	I worked in a restaurant called Hymans in Charleston.
	I don't know if you ever went there.
	It would have been around.
	It was nice.
	It was nice.
	It's a tourist spot, but it's good food.
	Bring it up.
	I mean, it's I think I went there not long ago.
	It's a hot spot.
	They have the they have a lot of pictures on the wall of famous people that have been there over the years.
	And I finally have my picture on the wall.
	And finally on the wall.
	I was like, that's what I'm talking about.
	Let's go, Hymans, baby.
	Yeah.
	And Hymans is great.
	There were so many employees at Hymans that I meet people still, all over the country, that I used to work with.
	Why was there so many?
	It just, it took up, it took up three addresses.
	Wow.
	On the street.
	And then it was second floor, you know, first floor and second floor restaurant.
	It's beautiful.
	Yeah, actually it took up, it was like from 213 to 221, that many addresses on the block.
	It was great.
	We should go do a show there sometime, man.
	We should.
	I mean, Charleston is the best.
	That would be cool.
	I started this, the tour of my now started in Charleston.
	And so What did you do?
	I don't even remember.
	It's probably North Charleston Performing Arts Center?
	On campus.
	Oh, the Gilliam.
	The Gil yard?
	Maybe.
	Yeah.
	Very nice?
	Yes, very nice.
	Yeah, I just did the Gil yard too.
	Very nice.
	I watched the Gil yard be built.
	So I was like, very happy to do that.
	I mean, because a lot of people that I that's where I started comedy.
	So a lot of people I started comedy with and people that knew me around that time all got to come there and see me.
	Dude, that's pretty exciting.
	Yeah, it was a big deal.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Because being a comedian, you're not everybody thinks you're just hiding from your parents or whatever until you get something people can see.
	Yeah.
	It's a weird thing to tell people you're doing.
	I feel like.
	Did you feel like that?
	Yeah.
	I mean, even doing TV, it can still be like you could still be not necessarily seem like you're doing great until they see you in a big venue and they're like, oh, look at all these people that bought tickets to see you.
	Yeah.
	It means more than that.
	Yeah, or on a show, they have to see something and they'll be like, well, what do you, you know?
	Yeah.
	I just did Hollywood Squares.
	I think a lot of older people in my life feel like I made it when they saw me on Hollywood Squares.
	Oh, definitely.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Everybody has their own idea of kind of what making it is.
	Yeah.
	And it could be anything.
	It could be from any, you know, it could be some people thinking it's Charlemagne the God show.
	It could be some people, oh, here you are right there, dude.
	Yeah.
	Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were on there.
	Yeah.
	I did another episode with them and I was where Jeff Dunham's is at.
	So I was right next to Drew Barrymore.
	Wow.
	And she was up in my square.
	So it was very fun.
	She was, you know, I was like, yeah, felt good.
	She's cute with some great folks in there.
	Yeah.
	Dude, that's exciting.
	That's like a huge show from growing up.
	Ron Funches is on there.
	Oh, who's the host?
	Drew Barrymore.
	Oh, the host is Nate Burluson.
	Nate Burluson.
	Yeah.
	Awesome.
	Yeah, he was great.
	Nate's a great dude.
	Very nice, very funny.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Super talented, man.
	I mean, what a nice, like I said, I'm going to have two careers.
	Great football player and does a great job hosting.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I mean, I don't know how, I don't know how long this goes, but he's really great.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He does a couple of different things.
	He does some different stuff.
	Yeah, I'm trying to think of any other blue collar jobs.
	Well, you know, I was a pizza delivery guy for a long time.
	I worked at Papa John's.
	I mean, that feels blue collar.
	I mean, it feels like, like, stoner blue collar.
	Yeah.
	That's what I did after high school.
	I did deliver pizzas and it was great.
	I used to, you know, I was getting high a lot.
	So it was like, you know, you're riding around your own hometown.
	You know where everything's at.
	There was no GPS back then.
	So you know where everything's at.
	He's just getting high, listening to the radio.
	It's a perfect job.
	You ever pick a slice out of someone's order or anything?
	No, no, I was very anti- that, but I would And I respect that, I want to say that.
	Yeah, I never mess with people's food.
	I can't do it.
	Yeah, me too.
	I've never done anything like that, you know?
	But I had, I used to pick up my friends at the gas station.
	They would they would meet me at the gas station, I'd pick them up and we'd all smoke weed together while I delivered pizzas.
	That's fucking cool.
	I don't think they had anything going on, but I also think it was cool for them to just ride around while I was working.
	Yeah.
	So I'd pull up to people's houses with four or five guys in the car, you know?
	Had a guy one time meet us outside and we were still smoking, you know?
	And it's like, a little How are you today, sir?
	Thanks for choosing Papa John's.
	Oh, dude, there's nothing better than that shit, dude.
	The awkwardness.
	Dude, I used to get fucking high and fall asleep all the time.
	And my friends didn't want me going out with them because they're like, dude, you just hit all you hit like, and I would I would hit a lot of the weed and then I would literally fall asleep for the next four hours.
	Yeah.
	And they just picked me up and they'd still have to drop me off at the end of the night.
	I was just lying in the back of the car or whatever.
	And I think I was just growing at the time, whatever.
	body's just dealing with shit or whatever.
	And, uh, one night we got so high and they just started a Taco Bell in our town.
	Right.
	And this was like the grand opening.
	So people had come, people came from 30 miles.
	One guy rode a horse there.
	People were coming however they could.
	Um, some people didn't even get out of their cars.
	They just drove by, they honked.
	Um, you know, people would drop off their spouses, just do whatever.
	They didn't even know what was going on.
	That's big day.
	And I got out of my buddy's van and they'd all been inside.
	I'd fallen asleep.
	I wake wake up i get open the door and my uh folks are right there they had just pulled out and i'm so high and i'd never seen them when i was high before oh yeah and i'm just trying just to pretend like i'mm not high, you know?
	Like, great seeing you guys tonight, huh?
	Yeah, like, ah, fuck.
	I was not in.
	I was not in, dude.
	You're like, am I talking enough?
	Am I talking too much?
	Do I look, do I normally look this happy?
	Yeah.
	Good seeing you guys here tonight, huh?
	This is so bad.
	Big deal, Taco Bell.
	Big deal.
	And then someone did, I've told this before, someone defecated in the meat and they had to shut it down.
	And that was a true thing that happened.
	That was horrible.
	I bet that's happening all the time, not just Taco Bell.
	I don't know.
	It happened in our town.
	And I'm not saying in Taco Bell, I'm not, nothing against you guys.
	I don't go there, but Yeah, I'm not even trashing Taco Bellell, but I'm like, you know, I don't trust people working these days.
	Yeah.
	You ever go to a restaurant and see the people working there and go, I don't think so.
	Oh, yeah.
	I've walked in and be like, let me get a good look at it.
	Is there anybody in here who's not?
	Anybody look like they care in here?
	Yeah.
	I don't think so.
	I'm going to head on out.
	Yeah.
	Somebody's just making, there's even like a guy who's like, he's just doing TikToks of him peeing in people's food or whatever.
	You're like, what's up?
	That's insane.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	There was like a, there was a, you know, it was a bit of a Taco Bell thing going on for a while where people were, tell me.
	It wasn't T go to Taco Bell, but they were working there.
	And these people would take the hard shells and they would just lick.
	They would go down and lick all the hard shells in the stack.
	And that was TikToks for them.
	That's great.
	And then there was a thing where people were going around opening ice cream in grocery stores and licking it and putting the lid back on.
	And that was, I think, kind of a black community thing too.
	It's just like, but if you're not putting the plastic over your ice cream, I'm not buying it.
	Yeah, here we go.
	Look at this guy.
	That's the white version of her.
	Hold on.
	You knew he was doing that for you even fucking.
	And that dude should be cross eyed.
	That the thing is, these days, that guy, both of his eyes.
	are functioning well.
	We don't know if the other one looks good.
	That's a good point.
	That's a good point.
	He might be looking straight ahead on the other one.
	That's why this one's so far over.
	Dude, we had a cross eyed dude.
	He'd always try to like do his hair different.
	He's like, how did he?
	And like, dude, just fucking dude, like, no judgment.
	We love you, we fucking love you dog, but you could have the fucking mohawk and people are still gonna be like, damn, that cross eyed guy is doing wild, you know?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, you see the mohawk on the cross eyed guy?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's like, yeah.
	It's like, God.
	He must not be doing well.
	It's like, you need a very organized cut.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you want to be everywhere else, you want to be as presentable as possible.
	Yeah, you need to cut that tithes.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Your haircut needs to look like it gives ten percent a month to the Lord brother.
	Yeah, you want to look like you want to look like something just happened to you.
	Yeah, like, oh.
	Yeah, it was just I fell out of a business meeting.
	I lost a wheel on the rolling chair.
	Yeah, it was just I fell out of a business meeting, hit my head really hard.
	I fell out of my limousine on the way here.
	This is horrible to say, but if I were crossed, I would just always pretend like it had just happened, like something just happened.
	Oh yeah.
	Like, look at this eye, guys.
	Fuck.
	I just sneezed really hard.
	Do I look okay?
	That's what I would do.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you know, it's like if you got a zit or something, you go, Oh yeah, look at this thing.
	You know, you would always, I would always point it out.
	Like, God, my stepfather has patted me on the back really hard.
	Do I look right or something like that?
	Or man, I just got bit by a dog.
	How do I look?
	And people are like, God, you fucking, you know?
	Yeah, you'd have to do something like that.
	Sudden cross eye.
	This is what can cause sudden crossed eyes?
	That's a good question.
	Sudden crossed eyes or strabismus in adults or older children can be caused by serious neurological conditions and should be evaluated promptly by a healthcare provider.
	The most common causes include stroke, hjern tumor, head injury., thyroid eye disease, interesting.
	I think I'd go with this, cranial nerve paralysis.
	That's what I'm saying.
	That's what I'd tell people.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's my cranial nerve.
	Yeah, hit a fucking speed bump and my fucking cranial nerves all acted up.
	You know, that's what I would say.
	Or you could always tell the old lie, two of your friends both threw frisbees to each other at the same time.
	Oh yeah.
	Yeah, or the uncorrected vision issues.
	Just go with that one.
	Yeah, just needed glasses and I just wouldn't get them.
	Wouldn't get them.
	Yeah, my dad ain't no pussy, as he says.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah, it's kind of weird because I would have to get two of the same book and just hold them each right in the eye, Which is very expensive.
	It's like two monitors on a computer.
	Yeah.
	Oh man, that's ridiculous dude.
	How do you feel?
	Do you at this point you have to start to really feel like you've made it in comedy, right?
	Yeah, I feel good.
	I mean, honestly, I feel like I never thought I would get this far.
	I mean, I was just messing around.
	I hear you're talking about it all the time now.
	Oh good.
	Yeah, I mean, I was just, you know, I was drinking and I was like, yeah, we'll do comedy and it was a good, good way to meet women and I was like, this is something to do on Friday.
	And then I won a contest in Charleston and I was like, well, maybe I can do something with this.
	And then I just started figuring out how to work the road.
	And I started traveling around and doing road gigs.
	And then I did some festivals and got on late night.
	And I was like, oh, this is working out.
	And it just feels good.
	Yeah.
	I mean, this is because I don't This is what I want to do.
	You know, I don't I'm not trying to do other things.
	This is what I like doing.
	Stand up is so fun.
	We just did that outdoor festival in Winnipeg.
	And outdoor comedy is typically not that fun to me.
	But this was great.
	It was a really fun show.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that was awesome, dude.
	You saw the Trailer Park Boys there?
	Yeah, I did.
	I got to hang out with them a bit.
	Yeah, they were funny.
	They were funny.
	Julian, the guy that seems like the real mean guy in the show, was the nicest.
	With the big hat with the black hat on you, mean?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, he's really, really interesting guy.
	Yeah, I mean, what a lineup they had there.
	They had Miss Path, there was still smoke in the air when I got there.
	That was Miss Path.
	I have friends, I'm sure.
	What a lineup.
	We had Martin Short, Mulaney, that's so cool.
	That was, yeah, that was fun, dude.
	And just to be up there and see what it was like there.
	I wish I'd gotten to stay a little bit longer.
	And I called out the mayor too much, I think.
	You know, I didn't know who I heard you call out a guy, but I didn't know who the mayor was.
	I was like, release the Epstein files.
	Oh, yeah.
	Gillingham.
	He just had the perfect name to call out.
	I have no idea who he is.
	But I got there a day early and I walked around a little bit.
	It was fun.
	I like the area.
	Yeah.
	I thought I went to a nice steak restaurant.
	Turn out I went to like a chain.
	The Keg is what it was called.
	I thought, oh, this seems like a cool spot.
	And then my wife, who's Canadian, who brought you a mug, by the way, a Tim Hortons mug.
	We had a Tim Hortons in Hermitage now.
	Are you serious?
	They're coming over here?
	Yeah.
	What's the tariff on those Tim bits, I wonder.
	I don't know.
	I've not been, but I do see the credit card when she spends money.
	She brought you a note there..
	I don't know if that's a love letter or not.
	I hope not.
	But it's sweet.
	Thank you, dude.
	But yeah, we got a Tim Hortons in Hermitage.
	But she told me that the keg is kind of a chase.
	It's kind of like the Outback of which I don't mind the Outback.
	But no, but it's a tell her I said thank you.
	Yeah.
	That is, well, dude, my frickin' sister used to work at, uh, what's the one with a birthday one?
	Texas Roadhouse.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, I was just in a Texas Roadhouse in Alabama, and they do, uh, they do quite a birthday thing in there.
	Yeah, it's big.
	And they would always get Benjamin.
	He was like the gay dude that worked there.
	And first of all, when you see a gay dude working at a Texas Roadhouse, I support it.
	Yeah.
	But at first I feel like there's some conflict of interest if some guy's like, this is supposed to be Texas or whatever.
	And then some guy's just over there fucking just like, you know, he's just like, you know, he's just he's bouncing his dangly earrings off his own shoulders, you know?
	And he's like, they say it's your birthday.
	Because the problem is they're all supposed to sing the birthday song, but they start, they start monopolizing the use of the gay employee to do all of them.
	And that would happen a lot.
	I would notice at my sister's restaurant, Benjamin, gay Benjamin or whatever they called him, I didn't call him that, would get out there and he would have to do all the birthday songs.
	So he started feeling kind of taken ading advantage of.
	But anyway, I don't know what we're talking about.
	Well, you know, I mean, it's you know, you work what you got, you know what I mean?
	You have to feel good.
	Like they're like, it feels like nobody can take your job.
	Ooh, that's a good point.
	You know, you're like, oh, you before long birthdays are like, they're coming in, they're going, Hey, is my wife's birthday today?
	Is Benjamin working?
	Right.
	And Benjamin's not working.
	So they're like, We'll come back tomorrow.
	Oh.
	We'll come back when Benjamin's here for the birthday.
	And we'll come back not even on my wife's birthday.
	Yeah.
	Because we want the big dog to do it.
	Exactly.
	It's like going to McDonald's and only grimaces are there, whatever you like.
	Right, right.
	Where's Ronald, do you remember when Ronald used to be at the birthday parties?
	Yeah, I mean, I don't know if he was ever at my, my Burger King.
	Is it Burger King?
	It's McDonald's.
	McDonald's.
	I don't remember who the crew was.
	The Burger King had the King.
	Oh yeah, that guy is a fucking creep though.
	They just had some problem with McDonald's.
	What was there something I saw in the news?
	Oh yeah, that's what it was.
	There he is.
	Yeah.
	There's some Laotians, huh?
	Yeah, that's probably Opalinka.
	It was some McDonald's news.
	I'm trying to think if I had another blue collar job.
	Oh, we used to clean out wish and wells.
	I've talked about that before.
	We had a lot of wish and wells in our town and they give kids like summer jobs.
	You could go clean them and you have to get down there, right?
	Yeah.
	And oh dude, I remember they had this like a fountain?
	No, like a wish and well.
	Like you had to get down and get well.
	Yeah.
	So you'd get, had to get a ladder and get you, you know, get down there and get all this stuff out.
	There'd be money down there.
	Oh, and you got to keep the money.
	You got to keep a share of it.
	Yeah.
	You could keep all of it.
	But they didn't know, but you didn't want to be dishonest.
	But anyway, the kid they partnered me with was this black kid and he, I'd go down.
	And he was supposed to keep people from making wishes or whatever while I was down there.
	But he, when I got down there, he was like, this is at a time in the world when I think a lot of black people didn't.
	They were scared of like magic and shit like that.
	Some of that was still, you know, because of whatever had happened in the past, I think, you know, like getting this box and, you know, I'm gonna make you a millionaire or whatever, whatever.
	Yeah.
	Whatever trick I've been played on and a lot of black comedians or whatever.
	So anyway, I'd be down there, but when I started just talking up to him, it sounded real scary, I guess, because of the echoes and shit.
	So he'd get all fucking scared, right?
	And I'd have to go back up.
	He'd be like, dude, it's just me.
	Like, fucking chill out, dude.
	Yeah.
	He's a nice kid, dude.
	named Alton.
	Yeah.
	But he'd just be like, what are you, what's happened to you?
	He gets so freaked out.
	And I'm like, it's just me.
	And he's like, it's just me, you know?
	so he'd run off and get help and i was like we're fucking it was horrible there dude it was just a nightmare but he was so freaked out but anyway that was one job i had um you're down there collecting wishes well you're getting the money but there's also a lot of people throw uh trash down there oh yeah crime equipment i like to think there's somebody there coming to make a wish and sees you come up with all the money and it ruins it for them Yeah.
	I hope not.
	I hope that, you know, that wasn't witnessed.
	It wasn't a lot of money.
	It's a lot of bullshit down there.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's not, I mean.
	Yeah.
	It's not, I mean, you might get four dollars out of there.
	Oh, jeez.
	You know, nobody's coming up the ladder with fucking 75 bucks.
	It's not the Ye old Wish and Well.
	This is not the original.
	Well, it's not, yeah.
	And they're using dimes.
	There was no, you know, there's no dollars.
	You're not even trying to get a wish if you're using a dime.
	Yeah.
	You're just fucking, yeah.
	You're just trying to take a little weight out of your pocket.
	Yeah.
	The well's like, you're never trying to get this wish, are you?
	Yeah.
	The well even is like, boo.
	You think it's a ghost, you're just getting booed.
	and then out and runs off, he can't handle it.
	But they should have had some sort of a sensor in there.
	If a dime goes in the well, just yell something at you.
	Oh, yeah.
	Fuck you.
	It's got to be enough weight to trigger it.
	Right.
	But, you know, when I was a kid, you don't have, you know, we found some crime equipment in there.
	We found a sword, like a bloody sword, I remember.
	A lot of to-go containers, people just driving out there, having a picnic, throwing all their shit in there.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know, people didn't, you know, a lot of people, I think, thought it was like just recycling and shit.
	Like, so just...
	just shit like that.
	But anyway, those are the days, man.
	What's happening in the news right now?
	What do we got, dude?
	Nationwide McDonald's boycott plan for August 1st.
	So that's just happened.
	Well, so why are people boycotting?
	I guess you're finding this out right now.
	Yeah, the plan boycotting McDonald's in August was announced by John Schwartz, founder of the People's Union USA.
	Why the action has been spearheaded by progressive groups who have expressed a number of concerns over issues including company tax avoidance and workers' rights.
	In addition to backlash over companies scaling back diversity hiring commitments.
	Well, I've been boycotting McDonald's for a long time.
	I think I don't eat there, but not a real boycott.
	I just don't e like it.
	I don't think it's good.
	That's fair.
	You know what?
	I think, yeah, is it good?
	That's a great question.
	I don't think it's good anymore.
	I don't think so.
	There's no, there's hardly any fast food that I think is good anymore.
	I lived from Hardy's when I was growing up.
	I mean, that's all we ate.
	There was a Hardy's right down the street from our trailer park.
	We had to pass it going to school, from school.
	I would eat breakfast, lunch, dinner.
	We ate Hardy's nonstop.
	Hardy's used to be really good.
	I like a Hardy's breakfast still, but I'm not into a Hardy's lunch and dinner.
	Yeah.
	Well, I don't think these places should be doing dinner.
	Yeah, I mean, I, yeah.
	Lunch, I'll buy it.
	I'll buy it.
	You guys are doing lunch, but you're doing dinner.?
	Now, I'll say this, Hardy's is just a Carl's Jr. disguised.
	A lot of people don't know that.
	Well, Hardy's breakfast, though, is banging though.
	These biscuits, yeah, I mean, biscuits and gravy.
	I used to get a loaded omelette biscuit.
	This was back when I was drinking and I was real, I was pretty fat.
	I would get a loaded omelette biscuit and then I would get biscuits and gravy and then I would put the gravy on the loaded omelette biscuit.
	No.
	It's unbelievable.
	And they weren't offering that?
	They weren't offering at the time.
	I think later they did, but I think someone found out about what I was doing in the parking lot of Aloes.
	One of these fucking OPs watching me eat.
	Yeah.
	That's how it is, dude.
	Well, I sometimes will get a double hambururger from McDonald's.
	And then it's not on the menu.
	Wow.
	It's not on the menu.
	You just have to ask for it.
	Yeah, I want a double hamburger.
	And they'll, you know, they'll make a sound or something.
	If it's a, you know, if it's a black lady, they'll get kind of pissed or whatever for a second.
	You can hear them getting pissed even when the mic's off.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Sometimes.
	Well, the drop through is like that.
	You can hear that.
	You can hear, you can feel the tension.
	Yeah.
	You can hear, yeah.
	But that's it right there, that double hamburger.
	See to me, that doesn't even look good.
	And this is the picture to make it look the best it ever is going to.
	It's not even going to come out looking that good.
	Oh, this is it's Olin Mills photo.
	This is it.
	This is it's head yeah, you're right.
	I think bring up a picture of a hamburger from McDonald's.
	I would say from the 1970s.
	Let's see what it looked like then.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I bet they had some sesame seeds on it back then.
	Oh, that's true.
	They didn't even put those on.
	Probably saves them a millimet.
	Oh, yeah.
	Look at that.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Extra bun in there.
	I guess that's probably a Whopper or something.
	I don't know what.
	Who has what, but.
	Yeah.
	Look at that thing.
	That thing was pretty good.
	Now, the Big Mac used to be, you don't even hear about the Big Mac anymore.
	Yeah.
	And dude, my mom, we would take us, I've said this before, but we would go sometimes and get a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuitcuit in the morning from McDonald's.
	That was something nice that we got today.
	Those were good.
	During Thanksgiving week.
	The hash brown was a full thing.
	I like that.
	I like a McDonald's hash brown.
	I still like it.
	It was good.
	Full thing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It was good dude.
	And my mom, she would order the McFish or whatever, but she would act like after we'd all ordered, I've said this before, but it still blows my mind.
	She would be like, um, and I'll have, and she would make sure we were all kind of quiet so she could order it.
	Yeah.
	Like she was ordering from like a special fucking menu, like we were going to eat in a private room or something.
	She'd be like, and I'll have the McFish.
	Yeah.
	She wants to separate it.
	This is what the kids have had.
	Hundred percent.
	Now I'm an adult and I'll be eating this.
	Guys, go get your sodas.
	And she's like, and I'll make sure.
	Well, you know, I do that.
	If I order coffee at like a Starbucks in the drive-thru and I'm ordering for my wife, I'll go, my wife will have this.
	Right.
	And then I'll have a black coffee.
	Yeah, my wife will have a fucking wedding cake in a cup.
	Yeah.
	I'm sorry to do this to you.
	Yeah.
	This is what she'll have.
	Yeah.
	My wife, and he says, take a nap in an hour.
	So she's gonna have so much sugar.
	Yeah.
	So that she can do that.
	Dude, my ex girlfriend would put like eight sugars in her fucking coffee, dude.
	At like we go to meetings and she put like eight cups of coffee, like, God, that's bad.
	In my wife's defense, she is just getting cream in her coffee, but still, I'm like, I want you to know I'm not doing that.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And this may be a note for help.
	Because we don't know what's really going on.
	We don't know what's in there.
	I didn't read it.
	She did seal it, which I found interesting.
	Well, that's sweet of her to do.
	If it wasn't sealed, I could have read it in the car.
	Oh, there was the Jelly Roll wrestling.
	I saw that thing.
	You see that?
	I didn't see it.
	This is Jelly Roll's wrestling now.
	Look at this fucking Jelly Roll dude.
	Look how fit he is.
	Oh yeah.
	Look at that clothesline.
	Oh Jelly Roll and Logan Paul.
	Oh Jelly Roll's the new Undertaker.
	Just when you thought wrestling couldn't be more realistic.
	It's crazy.
	But I think Logan didn't like some of Jelly Roll's songs, and that's how this happened.
	Oh, okay.
	So, and I know Jelly Roll's doing a lot of stuff to lose weight, but this is...
	Who's this other guy?
	Is this other guy got any albums out or?
	I don't know.
	It's Jake Paul's brother.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Okay, I think that's enough.
	And look, they hug at the or they're trying to fucking kiss real quick.
	Here, but hold on, go back.
	There's a little bit on this video that is also, first of all, great job.
	What a move by him, Logan Paul.
	Yeah.
	Oh, it's Logan Paul is a good wrestler.
	That's amazing.
	He is what it takes for this sport.
	You know, he does that thing.
	Have you seen that Down syndrome guy that hits those two beers together and then gets in the glass?
	I only know Stone Cold to smash the...
	I kind of tapped out a while ago on wrestling, but...
	You'll see Jelly on the table when they put him on the table.
	Watch.
	He kind of, this is like me, like, say if I go, if I'm at a girl's place and like she's like, I'm going to go to the restroom or something.
	I'll try to make myself look cool.
	I get in the right position.
	Watch him kind of scoot over.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He kind of just moves into the right spot so that it works out.
	Dude, that was pretty cool.
	Yeah.
	But that's wrestling, dude.
	That was big in our town.
	Dude, one of our neighbors dated a whole Hulk Hogan imitator actually.
	Oh.
	And that was pretty cool.
	That was pretty cool.
	He would always get excited.
	He'd come in the yard and fucking Rip his shirt off.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You know, Jelly Roll's a real Nashville guy.
	Yeah.
	My friend used to work at Hooters and she would say that Jelly Roll used to come in back in the day as he's always been a rapper in town.
	So I think that's cool.
	Yeah.
	I met Jelly Roll a few times.
	Nice guy.
	Oh, the best.
	Jelly Roll sang to my mom outside his Anies on the sidewalk once.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I was like, this is what I'm talking about.
	Oh, he's just so heartfelt, man.
	He's just a human hug, you know.
	And just his dieting., how much has Jelly Roll lost?
	It's got to be 150 pounds.
	It's got to be a lot.
	I've not seen him like that.
	He looked very thin.
	You would think you would want a heavier Jelly Roll to be in the WWE.
	Yeah.
	200 pounds is in a year, almost 200 in a year.
	Believable.
	And his energy, dude, I saw him a couple weeks ago, just after Shane Gillis had done his show with the Espy's, we stopped in and said, What's up?
	On, he was like, out, just great energy saying, you know, just like his energy level, everything.
	Yeah.
	I remember seeing him a couple of years ago and I was like, man, it just seemed like he was in unsafe territory health wise.
	I mean, just visibly, you know, you don't know.
	But that's pretty amazing, dude.
	Yeah, we're going to go to Hulk Hogan's funeral this week.
	Yeah, I'm bummed about that.
	I always wanted to meet Hulk Hogan.
	I was always a fan as a kid.
	I got a little Hulk Hogan alarm clock at home.
	I mean, I don't use it still, but I got one.
	But I had it as a kid.
	Someone sent it to me, but I had one as a kid, like, you know, wake up, eat your vitamins to, you know, say your prayers.
	He was exceptional, man.
	Yeah.
	He was exceptional, dude.
	Yeah, dude.
	I mean, this dude would come over to date this lady in our neighborhood and he had it, he would do like, he would get out of his car and do the whole Hulk Hogan thing.
	Like he was going, like when he was going up to his, to the door to knock on her door.
	Oh, yeah, doing the, doing doing the, the, the, the, and he'd play the song in his car and we'd all get out there and fucking chill.
	Yeah.
	Fucking party, dude.
	Yeah, that's the clock.
	Yeah.
	I got one of those.
	Yeah, man, it's kind of sad.
	I mean, I grew up, yeah, it's like just like my buddy Eddie Joe, my buddy Larry Tisdale, William Teague.
	We used to on our street, we loved Hulk Hogan, bro.
	We loved him, dude.
	We loved all of WWE, WWF, NWA, all those guys.
	Oh yeah, we used to go, I like, you know, in Oklahoma, Columbus, Georgia's close, and that's where they had Georgia Championship Wrestling and WCW.
	So we used to go there, watch Rick Flalair and Sting back in the day.
	Yeah.
	Steiner Brothers.
	Steiner Brothers, you guys.
	Bushwhackers.
	I got a bunch of pictures that we just took on our, you know, our camera of, like, yeah, Steiner Brothers, the only Jewish mentally challenged people, I think, in the South.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You know, they just didn't have that back then.
	That's true.
	But that, I mean, that just shows you, like, Jewish people are just so, like, they'll always figure out a way, you know, they take their two mentally hitting at people, they put them into wrestling.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	And look at them.
	They're stacked.
	While some cultures, we're putting our best people into wrestling.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	We're giving up good guys for this.
	Dude, and the crazy part was.
	though, that guy and that lady they got in like a domestic dispute and the cops would think it was just them fucking practicing wrestling and shit.
	Like, that was the craziest thing if you dated like a Hogan impersonator or like a Jimmy Snookin impersonator or whatever because they'd fucking be clotheslining some lady in the yard and the cops are like, that's awesome.
	You know, want it back.
	Yeah, yeah.
	She's helping.
	She's a good wife.
	She's helping him practice getting ready.
	It's just different times.
	We'll miss Elizabeth out here.
	Are you worried about AI stealing your job at all?
	Do you think about that as a comedian?
	I don't think so, but I do think I'm in a good good place to because AI can't even get the way that I look right.
	Maybe the way I look to other people, but it never looks like me.
	It can't get my jokes down.
	People try to get it to write an AI joke.
	It never makes any sense.
	And then I feel like my delivery is my comedy.
	So I think, and people tell me all the time, I try to help them write jokes, and they go, well, that's funny if you say it.
	Right.
	So, but I also think I'm in a good spot to make enough money to where I can just chill out because I live a normal life.
	So I can just chill out if AI does.
	steal my job.
	But there is apparently there's something where they're trying to get some kind of, uh, pass some legislation with AI where it's like, if someone is using your likeness for AI, then you can get royalties off it.
	So maybe AI could do corporate gigs for me.
	Ooh, that would be nice.
	Yeah.
	I wouldn't get hired for a lot of corporate gigs because, like, just because I have more profanity on my set and your set's pretty clean.
	Yeah.
	Um, is your set fully clean?
	Uh, I wouldn't say it's, I like to say I'm relatively clean, right?
	Where I go, I go, I don't want kids to come to my show, but you know, you can watch with your aunt and not be embarrassed that you're watching with her.
	Yeah.
	I get, you know, I got, I got a few sex jokes and stuff like that, but nothing too graphic at all.
	And nothing, and then I like to talk about drugs.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	That's fair.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that doesn't even look like you very much.
	Right.
	I mean, it's like people could say, oh, there's a guy that looks like Dusty, but he really doesn't look like me.
	Yeah.
	Oh, Microsoft just dropped a study showing the 40 jobs most affected by AI and 40 that they can't touch.
	Let's look at these.
	Phlebotomist, that's true.
	Getting blood out of somebody.
	Oh, yeah.
	Nursing assistant.
	I like that nursing assistant is listed higher here than like a nurse.
	Yeah.
	So are they saying hazardous materials waste reverse what is that removal workers?
	Oh, embalmers?
	Fuck yeah.
	Yeah.
	Tyre repairs.
	Hell yeah.
	Yeah.
	Prosthetonists, dude.
	People that make prothetics and shit.
	We used to we had a place that made some prothetics near us and they would throw all the bad ones over the fence, dude.
	And they'd be in the woods back behind our house.
	We'd be fucking humming thumbs at each other.
	Oh yeah.
	We'd flip each other off with fucking kneecaps and shit.
	It was awesome.
	My wife read this book.
	It was like by Klaus Schwab.
	It was like called The Great Reset.
	And it was like COVID-19 and the Great Reset.
	I've heard about that.
	And it wasn't like some conspiracy book.
	It was a book he wrote.
	And he had talked about in there that like entertainment jobs are safe because we're always, people are always going to need entertainment.
	Yeah.
	But what if we don't have any money to survive?
	Do you think people are going to spend it to like rent a film or something?
	Yeah.
	I mean, if there's no money, that will be tough.
	It'd be tough to make money off live performance.
	Yeah.
	But I think we just make less money, like you do it for cabbages or something.
	Right, totally.
	I think you would still show up and have a tent or something, do it like that, you know?
	Yeah.
	And sell, you know, make it a nickel or diamond, you know, whatever the thing is.
	I agree.
	And maybe that's what it would become.
	You're just traveling around with a cart and that's what you're doing.
	Yeah.
	And now working for drink tickets wouldn't be so bad.
	We're like, yeah, please.
	Dude, I always had a dream of working under a tent, you know?
	Yeah.
	I really like a like a carnival.
	Yeah.
	And it's peer to peer that way too.
	It's just, this is it.
	Yeah.
	That would be, I mean, like, comedy would be so fun in a way that if you could, you just travel to different towns and just do comedy under a tent.
	And no, like, like, like the old days of comedy, nobody knows what you're going to be doing yeah and you can just do the same act for 10 years it was all a surprise yeah yeah okay here's some at risk jobs writers and authors uh historians that would be one i would be kind of scared um writers and authors that's at risk right now because no one's reading right including myself yeah it's different times uh statistical assistants data scientists web
	developers kind of things you would think of sort of let me see if there's anything out there concierges models well concierge because you can just google restaurants near me Yeah, but then you almost do want to be like, hey, what's really good?
	You know, you want, I feel like to me you want, but you're probably right.
	Models, I feel like they'll be fine.
	Yeah, models, dude.
	They need somebody to freaking do blow or whatever.
	Who's going to do that?
	Yeah.
	Oh, now roofers?
	No.
	Roofers are already doing drugs of their own.
	That's for models.
	I did drugs with roofers in Gulf Shores, Alabama one time.
	I met, I needed, I was like a late teenager and was looking for weed.
	I met these guys real tan on the beach, jeans shorts, and they gave me a little weed and then they took me.
	and my buddy back to their trailer, and they had all this weed in the freezer.
	And the guy had a bong, but the slide, the bowl was made of a piece of 2x4, and it was carved out.
	So he had, you know, still a slide where you take it off to clear the chamber.
	And he packed it in, and he goes, he was like, let me hold it.
	Let me hold.
	And then he wanted to clear the chamber.
	And then we both coughed our heads off, and then we became so paranoid.
	It's 4th of July, fireworks are going off.
	We think it's gunshots.
	We're freaking out.
	This guy loves it.
	He loves that we're freaking out.
	And that makes it even more scary.
	He's just laughing.
	He starts playing an electric guitar to your fears.
	Yeah.
	That's scary, dude.
	When you're scared and someone's like, Oh, you're really scared right now?
	Let me play this electric guitar for you.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And then it was fun.
	We got to leave, but it was like terrifying.
	And then you're finally in, you never think you're going to get out of there.
	And then you're in the car and you're like, Ah, and we got some weed.
	Dude, is there anything better than you're trapped in some place you're so fucking high when you finally get out of there and you're like, Oh, and it could have been just anywhere.
	It could have been a conversation, it could have been a car ride, it could have been anything.
	Yeah.
	And then you're finally out of there and you're like, Oh, it's over now.
	Free at last.
	I'm free.
	Yeah.
	God.
	That shit was fun.
	Yeah.
	I love that.
	What else we got?
	Oh, in two separate recent WNBA games have been plagued with a new problem, unruly spectators throwing sex toys onto the court.
	Hmm.
	Oh, God.
	Indeed, officials had to pause two WNBA games this week because a person in the stands threw a sex toy on the court.
	The first incident happened on Wednesday in Atlanta, while the second happened on Friday in Chicago.
	Sounds like they're trying to pump it up.
	Yeah, they're trying to get you excited.
	Indiana Fever Guard Sophie Cunningham shared on her social media her concerns about people throwing these NSFW items on WNBA courts.
	with an ominous warning you're going to hurt one of us.
	And what are they throwing?
	Let me see.
	I'm guessing it's I saw a picture.
	You did?
	Yeah.
	And then what is it?
	Okay?
	Okay.
	We don't get to see it hit the court though.
	Somebody, first of all, great accuracy.
	And that lady kicked it just into the stands, which seems crazy.
	Hayes gets blocked by my phone call.
	Oh, and I don't know even make sense.
	That second one, I thought would I mean that second one was that was a great shot oh 35 to 70 bucks so somebody's you know that's it you're not just screwing around out there yeah somebody's putting some money into it I mean it is kind of wild I guess to But first of all, I'd embrace it if I'm the WNBA, right?
	I would shoot those things out of a t-shirt candidate during Pride Month or whatever.
	Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
	I mean, if if things get wild and people start tuning in, that's great.
	That's good money, you know?
	You don't want people to get hurt.
	And I guess that's disrespectful, but it's like, yeah, make it turn the negative around.
	Yeah, let's put a positive spin on it.
	I mean, that lady was excited.
	And I don't know if that's AI.
	It could be AI.
	It's allegedly a picture of a woman.
	But that's an attractive lady who is very fired up.
	And then maybe you make it like a, there's one minute during the game.
	It's almost like where they throw the fish on the ice.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's like this.
	There's like if somebody hits three, three pointers in a row, they hit a hat trick.
	They throw a cowfish on the ice or they, you know, they throwing sex toys out there, bro.
	Yeah, make it like, you know, like a pom-pom.
	You know how, like in Mississippi, they have the bells.
	Isn't it like one, like Mississippi State has the bells, the cow bells?
	Yeah.
	And then, like, you know, you have poms and you have different, you could have little vibrators.
	So yeah, just a bunch of vibrations.
	Welcome to the hive.
	Call your place the hive or whatever.
	Oh yeah.
	We're buzzing the night.
	And then you also have, yeah, like if somebody has three, three pointers in a row, everybody, uh, throw a dildo out there, you know?
	Yeah.
	You know, bounce a plastic cake off the floor or whatever.
	And then you see people taking them home with them after the game.
	Yeah.
	I mean, look.
	It's like I bought a $20 ticket.
	I took home a $40 dildo.
	This is a I made money here.
	Some kid has a collection in his room from like, you know, I don't know.
	I mean, look, I think you have to embrace it.
	You don't get free advertising like this a lot.
	And Caitlin Clark's out.
	She's been injured half of the season this year almost or not half, but a decent amount.
	So you need people to tune in.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, you got to get those viewers.
	TBD.
	We're all trying to get views out here.
	We're doing what we got to do.
	If somebody starts throwing dildos on the stage at my show and it gets people into it, I say, let's do it.
	Okay.
	You heard him, guys.
	You heard him.
	Only if it gets people into it.
	If it's not driving sales, then we got to shut it down.
	But dude, you're telling me a shirt can full of five or six dildas and they just popping in bitches off.
	People are catching him in the stands.
	That's fuck yeah.
	There's a way to do it and there's a way not to do it guys.
	We're just helping you think.
	Um, but yeah, yeah, I think the WNBA could embrace more like lesbian style stuff or tactics, people call them.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	And we don't have to call them that.
	What else?
	Oh, comedian Matt Rife buys home of couple who inspired The Conjuring becomes guardian of the haunted Annabelle doll.
	This is interesting.
	Yeah, I've seen this.
	This freaks me out.
	I feel like I'm your, I'm your friend at the top the top of the wishing well.
	Now this is freaking me out.
	I didn't know about this.
	Matt Riffe is pivoting to the paranormal, at least when it comes to his new pad.
	The stand-up comedian has bought the former house of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the ghost hunters who inspired the couple played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Famigia Famiglia in the Conjuring franchise.
	I've officially purchased Ed and Lorraine Warren's home and occult museum.
	Where is that?
	I don't know, but I saw him talking about that this morning and I like him, but I think this is scary.
	It's interesting.
	Freaks me out for him.
	Ed and Lorraine Warren's famous house, which includes the occult museum and the artefacts featured in many other investigations is located in Monroe, Connecticut.
	The museum housed in the basement in a separate outbuilding at this location contains many allegedly haunted and occult items collected by the Warrens.
	The museum was closed to the public in 2019.
	As of recent years, the property is not open to the public due to zoning restrictions.
	Visitors are strongly discouraged.
	Wow, how much did he pay for it?
	How much does something like that cost, I wonder?
	You like that?
	You are into like this kind of like paranormal stuff like this?
	I mean, I don't know if I would want to sleep around that or encourage another portal to hell to be opened in my life.
	Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
	I just think there's already a lot of dark arts going on out there and I do not know if this is the other type of behaviors we have.
	It feels like he's going, this is going pretty well.
	Let's try to mix it up a bit.
	Yeah, I mean, you're and he also has a shirt on that says God's country.
	So maybe he's trying to get in there and refurbish some of it.
	Yeah, maybe so.
	In saying announcement, I've officially purchased Ed and Lorraine's home.
	I'm incredibly honored to have taken over one of the most prominent properties in paranormal history.
	The other guy's shirt says Rise above fear.
	I mean, maybe they're, yeah, they're trying to Yeah, they're trying to turn it around.
	They could be the new Bieber and Carl Lentz.
	Yeah.
	I don't know what they did, but Bieber and Carlins where they kind of joined up and just had a relationship.
	I think that part of it was based on their both of their religious.
	Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, maybe so.
	What would you buy if you could buy something like that?
	Or if you just like spent money on something wild?
	See, I'd like land, if I could just buy a lot of land.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's why, because land is so expensive now, but it's so, so valuable.
	I just love to buy a lot of land.
	I'd like to have, you know, a lot of woods and mountains and creeks and water.
	Yeah.
	Where we could just, me and my kids could just get on the four wheeler and just ride around out there or just walk and explore., get some animals, get some I went to a museum in, or not a museum, like an eagle thing outside of Gatlinburg, where they have like a lot of eagles and falcons and owls.
	Yeah, birds.
	Yeah, I love that stuff.
	God, yeah.
	I'm all about it.
	I want to build a food forest, you know, where everything in the forest is all fruit bearing, food bearing, you know, vines and trees and bushes.
	And would it become like a pass through for starving people?
	Or what's the strategy behind it?
	Or just to have it for yourself?
	Yeah, just so, you know, me and my kids and family could, and my wife could just go eat fresh.
	fruit and vegetables all the time?
	I mean, maybe if you're starving, yeah, you can walk through there too.
	Get yourself some food.
	Dude, that's awesome.
	I'd stop through there.
	If I was really hungry, I would come by there.
	Yeah, that's nice.
	I would like to have a place like that.
	If I get a family and stuff, I'm gonna get me some little bit of land, get me a dog or two.
	Yeah.
	Maybe a cat.
	I don't know.
	I don't fucking who knows.
	That's crazy.
	I'm not gonna get a cat.
	But I will try to get something nice.
	But I love that dude.
	But would you, if you could buy something like Matt must really be into the paranormal, I'm guessing.
	Because this seems, that's definitely unique.
	Unless they partnered with Matt.
	Matt, this is the thing you have to realize about advertising.
	They may have just partnered with Matt.
	Let's put this article out and let's make this museum really pop.
	Oh, yeah.
	Who knows?
	It could be.
	I just never know.
	But, I mean, that's how advertising is.
	Yeah, do you, I'm trying to think of what I would buy.
	Maybe like a small castle.
	You ever see, like, I don't know.
	I think that'd be fun.
	Little, have a little, you know, like a, whatever they call it, a little.
	I don't know what you call them.
	What are the sides of the castle?
	A round thing that goes up.
	Have a little tower up there, have a little It looks like a rook in a chess.
	Yeah, put a little purplexity on it.
	All around part of castle tower.
	Yeah, like, that's what I'm talking about.
	A drum tower.
	A drum tower is, yeah.
	I'd love to have something like that.
	Oh, that would be nice.
	A little castle wall so you have to go through a door, but inside is a little courtyard and you could have so you're protected, but you could still have a little village inside.
	Get a bunch of my friends to come and live with their families.
	Oh, that'd be fun.
	Yeah, I wouldn't mind being part of a commune or something one day.
	Yeah.
	or group living where you just live off the land and you're kind of, People get so negative about it, but I'm into that.
	I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
	I think that would be great.
	Yeah.
	You don't want to be like a cult, but close to it.
	Yeah.
	Well, I think they only get negative about it.
	It often gets pandoshed on white people too.
	It's like Yeah.
	I don't think if white people, if they're not being racist, they can support other people like themselves.
	I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
	Yeah.
	I mean, and I just think it would be fun to just have a little community where you're like, you know, you're all like, one person does this, one person does this, and then you trade.
	Yeah.
	Like I'm the shoemaker or whatever.
	Yeah.
	Like I'll make something.
	Yeah.
	You're repairing your shoes and your boots, and one person is really good at cooking, and one person is good at farming, one person is good at, you know, I don't know.
	You know, I don't know, working on cars or raising a horse.
	Yeah, or I'll do like the little methadone area if we need it.
	Yeah.
	And you might need it.
	Yeah.
	Because people probably will come to the commune and need to need a little help, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	You got to have that area too.
	Like, oh, I'll meet you over there in the methadone tipi.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And eventually that's the most popular tipi in the place.
	Now the shoes aren't getting repaired.
	That's the thing you start to worry about is how does this all break down?
	I'm trying to think, I just bought Dustin Poirier's gloves from his last fight, from his UFC fight.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah.
	I wanted the last one so bad, but someone beat me on eBay or whatever.
	But I would buy James J. Braddock something like a memorabilia of his.
	Remember him from Cinderella Man?
	Oh, yeah.
	I would buy some memorabilia of his.
	Oh, yeah.
	The Bulldog of Bergen, baby.
	That's who I would buy something of his.
	I mean, that's just something like a specific thing I would get, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	When I was just thinking in reference, like in the same world of a house, like he's bought.
	So I was just like, that's why I said castle or, but yeah.
	I mean, I would love just a lot of land.
	I think it just, because you can just do so much.
	I got ten acres that I've been doing all these things.
	I've been building little swales and put fruit trees and all these different things on it.
	I've been trying to cultivate it.
	I'm into ponds now.
	I want to build a pond at the top that kind of pumps water from the creek and comes down and runs all through.
	Wow.
	And do you have access to a creek?
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	I want to build a lot of water channels.
	Do they allow how much water you can access and stuff?
	I haven't looked into it because I don't live out there in McMinnville, so I don't know how much I can do right now, but I would I don't want to steal it.
	I just want to borrow it and then channel it back to the creek.
	I like that.
	Yeah.
	I love that.
	Or borrow it, put a flavored syrup in it, channel it back.
	Imagine.
	Yeah.
	Imagine someone's upstream, like, oh, this is nice water downstream.
	Like, motherfucker, that's Sprite.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You know, and you're like, you're just out, you think, oh, get a nice drink from the creek.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Mountain Dew.
	That's it.
	They think you're making a pond because it's coming from a mountain and you're like, no, this is, this is really it's Mountain Dew, dude.
	Now, someone's just peeing in the river and you're downstream of that.
	That's Mountain Don't.
	Yeah, that's right.
	That's right.
	That's damn Mountain Don't, dude.
	Oh, this part.
	Rife noted that he and Castie planned to open the house for overnight stays and museum tours so you can yourself experience and learn all the haunted history surrounding this amazing place.
	I think that's cool, man.
	Matt's a creative guy.
	And, uh, oh yeah, Elton Castie.
	He's a paranormal guy.
	Hell yeah.
	Fuck him.
	Well, fuck all them ghosts, dude, or whatever, dude.
	Don't touch them, you know, but...
	Well, look, I'm sorry.
	We, we've, you know, I don't know.
	I don't really want to walk with Satan.
	Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
	So I'm not into it, but, you know, people, you know, somebody's got to be.
	Yeah, to each their own.
	Yeah, I'm glad it's not me, but I'm, I'm, good luck to those guys.
	Yeah.
	That's what I say.
	Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania.
	Commuter's worst nightmare.
	Little hot dog pun in there.
	Yep.
	W-U-R-S-T.
	Oh my God.
	Look at all those francs on that freeway.
	It's like a WNBA game out here.
	Dude, that's the kind of stuff we need.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Get the news pumped up.
	Dude, here's what they do.
	Now I have a great idea.
	In the middle, in the middle of the court at halftime, you can hum a dilda, right?
	Yeah.
	Or H-D, whatever they want to call them.
	You can chuck a dilda out there.
	If it lands in that middle area, the middle circle where they do the tip ball in the middle of the court, if it lands in there, you get a free Frank.
	Free hot dog.
	Yeah, I love that.
	That's a good idea.
	You know, what they could call, you know, ring a wiener for a wiener, something like that.
	Yeah.
	Wiener wiener hot dog diner.
	Yeah.
	You get a hot dog sponsor, you get some dildo sponsors in there, you get it all working out.
	Yeah.
	Everybody's making a little extra money out here.
	I like it.
	And you're feeding the fans, man.
	Yeah.
	You're telling me a lot of these ladies don't want that hot Frank.
	Well, look at these guys with the shovels, though.
	Imagine your day of shoveling hot dogs.
	Yeah, lucky, dude.
	Let me get a gander at these guys.
	All right, Shrewsbury, PA, a truck load of hot dogs spilled across a Pennsylvania Interstate Friday after a crash that briefly clogged the highway in both directions.
	Crews were stuck with a job they did not relish.
	More play on words, rolling up the scattered tube steaks for disposal.
	Heavily traveled artery.
	Oh, another one that, yeah.
	Once those leave the truck and hit the road, that's all garbage and it's still pretty warm.
	Okay.
	So one guy was upset that they couldn't use them.
	A front end loader was used to scoop, which also I'm going to say is what my dad referred to my stepmom as once.
	So I'm not saying she got around, but a front end loader was used to scoop up the hot dogs and drop them into a dump truck.
	I can tell you personally, hot dogs are very slippery, the fire chief said.
	I did not know that.
	Okay.
	You tell me the fire chiefs never had a hot dog?
	Come on, dude.
	Dude, that's their main source of sustenance.
	If you've ever been to any fire house, there is always a crockpot going.
	pot going with a couple hot dogs in it.
	I think he was just like, if this, if you're quoting me, I want you to know I've never touched a wiener before.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	A lot of those guys will keep it straight no matter whatever they got to do to get it.
	Four people required medical attention, Dowerman said, for injuries that police said were not life-threatening.
	What happened to them?
	God.
	This hopefully this ends up becoming a 30 for 30.
	You got to know.
	Tie it into the WNBA.
	It's a, it's a, meanwhile.
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	Dusty Slay, man.
	Thanks for hanging out, dude.
	Yeah, thanks for having me.
	This is great.
	I appreciate it.
	Yeah.
	Congratulations on Wet Heat.
	It's out there now.
	People can go watch it.
	Yeah, it's on Netflix.
	It's streaming.
	It's hot.
	It's a good special.
	It's not a time waster.
	No, it is not.
	People love it.
	And they get to know you too.
	I think you have your own kind of pentameter, your own sort of style.
	I mean, most comedians do.
	But I think you really feel it here, you know?
	Thank you.
	I modeled this hat after this one I'm weararing right here.
	See is a Kodiak wintergreen, so I can't really wear this hat, but that one on my head there modeled after this one.
	Oh, they wouldn't let you wear that one?
	Well, I think we were just worried about it.
	Yeah.
	To keep it safe.
	And is this a hat that is this your merch?
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's beautiful.
	What does it say on it?
	It says, All right, all right.
	You know, because I say, All right.
	And then my name.
	I love it.
	Yeah.
	I'd love to order me one of those.
	Yeah, go ahead and order me one of those hats.
	So I can have one to wear sometime.
	Yeah, it's limited edition, that hat.
	Because the stripes cost more to put on.
	Oh, yeah.
	So, it's limited edition.
	Well, let's get it.
	We'll take one.
	I like it.
	Thank you.
	Thank you for my coffee mug to Miss Slay.
	And yeah, thanks for all the comedy, dude.
	Yeah, well, I appreciate it.
	This is great.
	Your podcast is great.
	I think you're the best podcaster.
	You're the funniest guy on podcasts that exists, and this is great.
	I'm happy to be here.
	Oh, that's nice of you, dude.
	I appreciate it.
	I thought you like, you know, I thought you really carried the load today, but I thought it was super easy for us to chat and hang out, you know, which I thought was really nice.
	Didn't feel like we were lifting any heavy lifts, you know?
	No, I felt great.
	I had a good time here.
	I mean, I've watched you on podcasts for a long time and the.
	I still think that there's a there's a video of you that circulates through my TikTok sometimes of you doing comedy in a retirement home and you're doing jokes about your dad and it is in front of these really old people.
	It's the funniest stand up.
	It's so good.
	Well thanks bro, thanks for the compliments.
	When your land, whenever that land, when those fruit trees are ready, shit's gonna get, could get weird in the world.
	So you and I might be out there making TikToks together and selling fruit.
	I love it.
	And if that's what happens, then I'll be happy to work right there side by side with you.
	And we got to get to Charleston and do a show, dude.
	We should.
	I mean, yeah, I mean, it's great, Charleston's great, I mean, it's changing all the time, it's growing, but it's still great.
	We should put it together.
	We should put it together.
	Yeah.
	We can do that for later this year, next year.
	Dusty Slay, thanks so much, dude.
	Are you touring somewhere this week or right now you're just letting the special rise?
	I am touring.
	dustyslay dot com has all my dates, but I'll be, I'm starting in Huntsville, Alabama, and then I'm well, I'm doing the Comedy Store on the fifth.
	I don't know when this comes out, but I'm in Huntsville, Alabama on the weekend, Atlanta, and then I just, it just starts from there.
	Okay, great, dude.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.

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