All Episodes
July 3, 2025 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von
02:21:07
#594 - Glenny Balls

Glenny Balls is an entertainer, podcaster and the co-star of “Sundae Conversations” with Caleb Pressley. He also has his own podcast “OnlyStans”.  Glenny joins Theo after a weekend together at the UFC fights in Vegas. They talk white whale podcast guests, Long Island 4th of July memories, and if Glenny has dreams of becoming America’s new Bourdain. Glenny Balls: https://www.instagram.com/glennyballs/  ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Moonpay: Head over to https://www.moonpay.com/THEO to sign up! Tru Niagen: Go to http://TRUNIAGEN.COM/THEO and use code THEO for up to 25% off! Shady Rays: Go to http://shadyrays.com and use code THEO to get 35% off polarized sunglasses. Shopify: Go to http://shopify.com/theo to use Shopify to help build your business. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/  Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
We're getting into the final shows for the Return of the Rat tour.
Gosh, this rat is almost fully returned.
July 9th, we'll be in Philadelphia, Rochester, New York on July 10th.
Then we're in Detroit after that.
Moving on, we're in Los Angeles, Anaheim at the Honda Center in Oceanside, California.
You can get all your tickets at theova.com slash T-O-U-R.
And just thank you so much for your support.
Today's guest is an entertainer and a podcaster.
You know him as half of the Sunday Conversation team with Caleb Presley.
He's a bit of a cheese sommoyer, amongst other things.
I just got back from spending the weekend with him in Las Vegas.
Today's guest is Glennie Ball.
I love you.
I love you.
Moving way too Yeah, dude, good to see you, man.
Are we on?
Yeah, I guess for first time.
I don't know.
Good to see you.
Yeah.
We spent all weekend together.
Good to see you again, dude.
Nice to see you still.
Yeah, it's been a good 30-hour break between us.
That's a good point, dude.
Yeah, I like that Native American garb you have.
This is my mom.
She forced me to get it today.
We went shopping on Broadway today because I'm here with my parents.
And I said, big podcast.
I've been traveling for a week.
I got to go buy a new shirt.
Went to one of the stores on Broadway, saw this, and she said, you got to try this one.
It was either between this or a denim one.
And the denim was a little tight when I sat down.
It was only an XL.
And the last time I did this podcast, I was wearing, my shirt was absolutely screaming for help.
It was a lot.
So I got to make sure there's citability.
I was sitting on steps in stores today.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And they should have a shirt that if something's going, it lets you know somehow.
Cause you don't, a lot of times you don't know.
There'll be times I'll leave the house, buttons completely uneven and nobody says, hey, buddy.
Hey.
It's bad.
It's bad.
Like when I saw, you're a good t-shirt guy.
I think I've only seen you in t-shirts.
Actually, when you came to do our last Sunday conversation, the shirt you wore there was a sick button down.
I still want to find out where you got that from because that was a cool button down.
Nice.
I would have worn that today.
Ooh, that is a nice shirt.
Yeah, for some reason, I don't like, I don't feel, I don't know.
I don't feel acclimated in really nice stuff.
I think it makes me feel uncomfortable.
No, I mean, Saturday night when we went to UFC, the first thing I wore was, I wore a $20 shirt from Target.
It was fantastic.
Those Goodfellow shirts.
They're great.
They're like beachy shirts.
$20.
I just showed you.
I brought a Bucky's t-shirt with me.
$24.
Fantastic.
I can't really justify like spending a few hundred bucks on a shirt.
I don't know how to do that yet.
Yeah, I think I'm trying.
Yeah, I don't like, I just don't like trying stuff on.
I know certain t-shirts.
I know how they're going to fit.
I'm very basic with that kind of stuff, you know?
But yeah, dude, that looks like a very, I'm trying to think, that's like a Native American sort of Sturgis, like.
Very Dakotas.
Something Dakota about it.
Yes.
I hope it's not cultural appropriation.
I did buy it on Barbway today.
It was in Boot Born.
It was in Boot Barn for the record.
If it is, it's Boot Barn's fault.
I'm sure, dude, first of all, our whole country is cultural appropriation.
So can we just like, is there anything?
Dude, yeah, I'm sure there's not enough.
I just hope it's okay to wear with a cheese store hat.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Those two have never been together before.
Well, it's sad that we took over the Americans land to build a cheese store, too, but it's also, it tastes so good, dude.
That's a thing.
I went to the cheese store last week.
It was fantastic as always.
Oh, if you get a comfortable Brie, it's like sometimes you want to swallow it, but you want it to stay in your mouth.
And Brie is basically like butter.
It's legitimate butter.
It's unbelievable.
Brie is like the gayest butter you could ever get.
And I'm all for it.
Yeah.
I love it.
With some roasted red peppers and a little.
It's good.
It just feels like a, I can't even explain how great it feels.
Look, because look at it.
If you look at Brie, first of all, it's cream on the inside, clean on the outside.
It kind of looks like a cake.
What I'm looking at right now, it does look like a cake.
And it's a very, very freeing feeling to spread some good brie, knowing how good it's going to be.
Yes.
It's, it's nice.
Yeah, because a lot, a lot of the, and let's go, let's go down a brief charcuterie lane here.
A lot of charcuterie boards, right?
Because that stuff became popular in the past three years.
People are charcutering, you know, white chicks were like looking for something to do.
That's truly what it is because I've always thought to myself, this is so stupid.
Why is anybody taking the time to do this?
And now I kind of get it.
I've been trying to make my own charcuterie boards.
Really?
I'm not good at it at all.
Actually, I take that back.
I'm not trying to make my own charcuterie boards.
I've just, I've been enjoying just like, I guess, prepping food and just like presenting it in a nice way whenever I'm doing anything with food.
It's fun to take the extra time to make it kind of look nice.
And I'm not very good at it.
I'm still learning.
But like, if I'm cutting a steak, it is fun to like place it exactly how it should be, you know?
Yeah.
Like on the bone, just make it look nice.
I don't know.
And I actually enjoy prepping.
Like when I cook, I enjoy cutting onions.
I enjoy cutting tomatoes.
I think it's fun.
Yeah.
I like the thrill of possibly something happening.
Yeah.
No, I do.
You know, there is something fun about, there's something fun.
Like if you, somebody like, here, cut this and you're like, and then it's all cut.
You're like, we did that.
I did that.
It's fun to see it.
Like, you could buy diced onions.
I'd rather dice my own onion.
I actually cut myself a few weeks ago doing it, but I survived.
But hey, you're a guy who's willing to get in there, get into the produce trenches, get into these kind of vegetable Vietnam situations where shit gets kind of intense.
Yes, and sometimes you lose.
I lost a few weeks ago.
But yeah, so what makes a good charcuterie board?
Like, is it an evening out of like sweet and like robust?
Like, what is it, Glenny?
That is one thing that I will say that I do love on charcuterie board that I've been getting into a lot.
Like I've been more inclined to ordering this on a restaurant menu when they have charcuterie.
Shout out to my guy, Josh, our producer Josh, you met, nice little fellow.
He has recently taught me about jams.
And like, and I love when there's like, if we're traveling and there's a little jam on a table at breakfast, I'm starting to put that on the bread, on the toast, which is actually fantastic.
And there's some great jams on charcuterie boards.
And I've been loving the jam with the crackers and the cheese.
It's oddly a good, creamy, sweet scenario.
So the jam has been my favorite part.
And obviously, you can meet.
You can't get the meat from 7-Eleven.
I've been spoiled at the cheese store because they do bring out like stuff from Italy, which is obviously creme de la creme.
That's that place in LA that you love, yeah, yeah.
If I was gonna go, you'd offer to take me, but we'll have to do it another time, dude.
Um, okay, so the jams, there's definitely, I do notice a lot of times you'll see the jam on there that has like um the seeds in it, yeah.
And that to me, it's just like I've never really liked like really rich stuff, you know, like I remember one time we went to my, my dad had a girlfriend.
Um, sorry, mom.
Uh, my dad had a girlfriend and we went over and she was rich, dude.
Like she had a balcony.
She had a lot of shit.
We went over to her house and she was doing Thanksgiving and she had like cranberries, but it was like real bare, like, you know, I've talked about this years ago, but there was like, there was different grades of cranberry.
You can get like the gel at the jelly.
It's basically somebody just open up a smucker's, cut it into slices, and you eat it like that.
Like our mom would do that.
Sometimes she would put the jelly into the freezer for like an hour and a half.
Yeah.
Oh, this is, this is actual cranberry sauce.
We would, there was a grade below that where you would just have like semi-frozen grape jelly.
Oh, kind of, like that picture in the middle kind of looks like it.
I get what you're saying.
I feel like that almost feels more authentic, though.
Right, I agree.
And then you got regular cranberry sauce with jelly stuff.
And then you got the one that kind of had the mix.
And then rich people that just had actual cranberries that were kind of smashed or like abused or whatever.
They'd been through the system or foster care, whatever.
And they had those like in a special bowl.
And she had those.
And I couldn't even stomach it.
Like it just made me so scared.
It's probably so good, though, with some real turkey.
Some good authentic that you said it was Thanksgiving, some good Thanksgiving turkey.
Like that's another thing I've been enjoying on Thanksgiving, the cranberry sauce.
The sweet and savory is, it really is a delight.
I've been doing some pervert stuff recently with like getting a getting a chocolate bar, like taking a Hershey's and taking a pretzel and just doing it myself.
Because you could buy chocolate cover pretzels, but if you get the little do-it-yourself, take one square of Hershey, one bite of a pretzel together in the same bite, it's a joy.
Wait, so you're doing this at home?
So my buddies live, my three best friends live like five minutes from my house.
So I go there all the time.
And we do some bad, some bad eating every now and then.
Sunday nights really get us.
They get us.
They get us big time.
Sunday nights, too.
The Sunday nights are terrible.
Yeah.
Sometimes we'll do candy.
I don't even like candy and we'll do candy, like nerd, like nerdbusters, whatever those are.
Yeah.
And my buddies are in shape.
They're in shape guys.
They're not like, yeah, but you guys.
Are you just using them to go over there and have those snacks, do you think?
Is that like a crazy thing?
Because I used to bicycle over to my buddy's dad's house to look at their pornos and pornography.
Same.
But yeah, no, I mean, I think it's a mutual thing.
It's mutual.
It's mutual.
They love it.
They love it more than me, honestly.
I don't want to have men eating nerd ropes late at night or whatever.
To me, that is.
It's just Sunday nights.
Sunday nights will get you back.
It will.
It's Sunday night.
If they didn't even exist, I don't maybe have a six-pack.
I'm bad at Sunday nights.
I'm bad at Sunday nights.
Especially if you think you have a good weekend and then it's like, oh.
Oh, yeah.
You make it through that weekend.
You get to Sunday.
You're kind of surviving.
And then it gets late in the day.
And if you had any fucking balls and if you hadn't bought a vape, you could go to bed in two hours.
But something happens to you where you start looking in your pantry.
You're like, yeah, I'll make a fucking cake.
Like there's been a cake box in there.
You're like, I can eat a bunch of peanut butter right now.
I love peanut butter and apple.
That's the thing, too, that some days are killing me because I've been trying.
So my peak weight that I've ever weighed was 355 years ago, like six years ago.
I was a big boy.
Is there any photos of that?
Let me, that is, oh my God.
You were on the cusp of getting one of those shows.
Yeah.
So I was a big boy.
In 2018, it was 2018.
I think I weighed myself and it was 355 and like Labor Day weekend of 2018.
And then, so now I'm like sitting at like, that's pretty big right there.
Wow.
Ew.
Oh my.
Ew.
Look at that Billy Joel shirt.
Ew.
God.
Oh, my God.
That's disgusting.
Look at that Billy Joel billboard.
Jesus.
That is a billboard.
That shirt could, but you could put three people in that shirt.
Well, you definitely increase the font of it when you put it on.
That's for sure.
Look at that Auburn picture on the left there with Marina and Chuck.
That's a big boy.
Jesus Christ.
That's you?
Yes.
Zoom in a little bit.
Oh my God.
That's a boy.
Look like somebody poisoned ya.
I needed to get poisoned to lose some weight.
Wow.
And what were you doing for work?
Were you like one of those secret people that eats at restaurants?
No, but that's crazy.
You know what the problem was.
I was working at Barstone.
It was in Manhattan.
So I would get like fucking like, I went to this place toasties all the time.
It was like chicken cutlet and bacon heroes for lunch.
You can't have that for lunch.
If you're a normal person, you got to have a salad for lunch or like a bowl, a Chipotle bowl.
You can't be banging out chicken cutlet, bacon, heroes for lunch.
You just can't do it.
Yeah, if you're dinner lunching, then you are.
Exactly.
So that's what I was, but what I was going to say is since my top peak weight, I'm at like 355.
So I'm sitting right now at like 257 and I'm dying.
I want to take all my friends and family when I finally hit 255, 100 to Outback to celebrate at Outback.
But I've just been sitting at 257.
And what I'm saying is there were no Sunday nights, I think I would be at 255.
I'm so close.
Actually, I weighed myself the other day at our hotel in Vegas.
They had scales in the room, which was mean.
There should never be a scale in a hotel room.
Well, those are for drugs.
It was a human scale.
I was like, it's interesting.
You're like, well, Glenny's balancing on this very small scale in here.
And then Saturday, Saturday morning, I woke up and I was like, it was just staring at me, like telling me, come in, get on me, get on me.
Come here, white boy, or whatever.
Was it set to urban or whatever?
Because sometimes it'll be like, get in here, honky.
He's just staring at me.
You both sink.
Get on, honk in.
I got on.
There you go.
And it was 254.8, but I'm not calling it official until I get one Monday and it's under 255.
Then we're going out back.
Yeah.
That's fair.
Monday weigh-ins.
I've been doing Monday, but I'm also thinking I got to stop doing every Monday because then if I have a good week, I'll let myself go a little bit.
I wanted to start doing like monthly, I think.
I think monthly is the key.
Monthly weigh-ins?
I think that's the key.
Well, a lot of people, they have bracelets now, and it's like, you're fat right now.
Like they'll have that, that whatever that thing.
It'll be like, you're a pervert or whatever.
Someone's supposed to tell you your blood pressure.
It's like, you're a pervert.
Yeah.
After Sunday night.
Yeah, you're 40 feet from a gay guy or whatever.
You're like, what?
Who cares?
That's why I don't have an Apple Watch.
Sometimes the volume will just be turned up.
And you're like, what the hell?
That's my stepdad.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, yes, some of those watches, it's just like starting to take over our lives.
Yeah.
The watches scare me.
Everything's crazy.
The technology is crazy.
Oh, it's getting crazy, man.
But yeah, I want to go back to the charcuterie.
I mean, charcuterie's, I'm not into it yet.
I said I was into it before.
I did not mean that.
I mentioned food preparation in general.
I think eventually I could see myself getting into it because it does seem like a thing, like 10 years down the line, like when you're a little older and you just want to hang out.
It's something to do.
Like you said, for like old white women, it's just something to do, just a preparation and then just show off.
Show off to the group.
Oh, I'm having a Super Bowl party.
Let me make a sick charcuterie.
Yeah, I think, well, I think, well, it also gets obtuse at certain corners of the chartoe board because you have the crackers and the cheese.
I get that, right?
And I remember I saw one one time at somebody's house and they had that little knife.
You ever seen that little knife?
It's for like a Japanese, like, boy or whatever.
Like a, it cut, it's like very little and it has like a little thing on the end.
It's like kind of a you mean like just like a spreader knife?
Yeah, like it's not even sharp.
It's not even sharp.
No, it's just like to spread the bree.
Right.
It's like a knife that like something happened.
You know what I'm saying?
It goes to, it's in special lead or whatever, right?
It's still a knife.
Don't tell it.
Don't put it near real knives, right?
It's still a great knife, but it's not serrated.
It'll never be serrated.
It'll never be sharp.
It is for spreading, right?
It's for just like paint by number type of shit, right?
But yeah, I remember the first time I saw that, I had to, I was like, oh, this is like a look for a little Japanese guy or something.
And I was like, oh, I'm stealing this.
I'm fucking stealing this.
I love that photo.
That was a cleaver there.
I just got a cleaver for Christmas recently.
Really?
I feel very, very happy about it.
It's very good.
My uncle got me a really cool cleaver.
Yeah.
It's kind of fulfilling dreams of mine.
It's very, it's extra manly to cut something with a meat cleaver.
Ooh, zoom in on that cleaver a little.
Looks like a little baby cleaver, too.
That looks like a child one.
Yeah, which is.
It's not for children.
Yeah, look at it in comparison to the other knives.
That must be like a literally a little cheese cleaver.
A little baby cheese cleaver.
Yeah.
Really cut your pinky.
You can only cut your pinky with a lot.
Oh, God, dude.
Yeah.
But then the Shikurdu on the out on the outriggers of the shark, they put like these little pickles, right?
And they're, and they're way undersized.
I don't want to say that they're premature or whatever, but they, nobody should have harvested.
Whoever harvested them did it at night and probably was sex trafficking or whatever.
It's like, nobody should pick these.
Yeah, I think those are called gherkin pickles, if I do.
Yeah.
Say it correctly?
I think.
Why did my voice just do that?
But yeah, Gherkin pickles.
I believe those are called.
I'm not a fan of them.
I'm still getting into pickles.
That's one thing that I've haven't loved my whole life.
Really?
But I've been enjoying it more.
It's odd too, though, because I do love a relish on hot dog.
Yeah, me too.
I love a relish on hot dog.
And that's just pickles.
But just straight up pickles sometimes.
I don't know.
They don't do it for me.
Yeah, but relish is like pickles.
That's like, yeah, motherfucker, what's up?
We're here.
Put some mustard on me.
We rise.
I will die for relish.
I'll eat relish by it.
I could eat relish by itself.
Like, I don't do it, but I could.
I love relish.
Hot dog, mustard, relish, boom, easy.
Love it.
Yeah.
One thing I do like about a hot dog time is I will do a hot dog, right?
Some people will do like they'll DP a hot dog.
They'll put like two francs in it or whatever.
I don't do that.
Have you ever done Chicago hot dog?
It's my favorite type of hot dog.
My much.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
I was at the Chicago Cubs game.
Yeah.
Cover Vienna beef dog.
I think they gave us some up there.
It was very nice.
Yes, there you go.
Unbelievable.
Poppy seed buns, sport peppers, mustard, relish, tomato slice, pickle.
It's the best.
That's a pickle I like.
But on that Chicago hot dog, they literally put the whole pickle spear on it.
So it's kind of hard to eat, I will say.
They should put pickle slices on it.
But everything together in there is one of my favorite bites in the world.
I love a Chicago hot dog.
And do they use a special type of bun for that?
Usually it's a poppy seed bun, I'm pretty sure.
I think that's the traditional way.
I do enjoy like a split top bun.
Split top bun is nice.
I think that's good.
I'm a big, I'm very high on Chicago.
I think it's the best food city in the country.
Oh, yeah.
I would watch you eat that, man.
That looks cool.
Yeah.
You know?
One time we were in Chicago at the same time.
We'll share what.
Yeah.
I used to watch those videos of Japanese women eating big pieces of cake or whatever.
You ever seen that?
Like a mukbang?
Yeah, but it was before mukbanging.
It was just like when people, it was like, you know, because Japanese people are like the human ASMR, right?
Sure.
If you ever just been around a Japanese person, it's like listening to ASMR, but they're like in the room with you and they're just being themselves, right?
They're not even like if a Japanese person whispers in the woods, who the fuck would ever know, dude?
You can't even hear them, you know?
So it's like, they're just so quiet.
It's like, oh, shit, I don't know what I was talking about.
But yeah, anyway.
What were you talking about?
We were talking about some Chicago hot dogs.
But speaking of food, we shared a great steak Friday night.
Ooh, we did.
I felt really bad, though, because I could tell when the waiter asked me what I liked, how I liked to cook, and I said medium rare.
There was so much disappointment on your face and you wanted medium.
And I felt really bad about it since then.
So I just wanted to apologize for that.
Oh, well, thanks, dude.
Well, I've been trying to do this thing where if somebody makes a suggestion, I go along with it instead of always just, you know, I'm usually like, like if somebody wants to go see a movie, if I don't want to see it, nah, always, right?
Never.
Like, don't you want to come?
Like, nah, do not.
So this was like something practicing for me.
Like somebody's like, hey, let's have a steak.
This is how I like it.
And I was like, oh, I hate.
I don't want that.
But tried it, loved it.
It was a fantastic.
It was, that was one of the better steaks I've had out in a long time.
I agree.
It was really, really good.
Where were we at?
It was, I think it was called Don's Prime.
Don's Prime.
And Fountain Blue in Vegas.
It was one of the better steaks I've had in a long time.
Yeah, I agree.
And I'll say what even made it good, I think for me, let's tell each other what they thought made it good.
For me, it wasn't overwhelmed with like seasoning and too much juice, like too juice.
Like sometimes juice is, it's nice, but it was just kind of perfect.
It didn't like get the plate all blood.
It was just kind of perfectly like, hey, and almost like it showed up and was like, hey, I know I'm fucking the shit.
Yeah, because they kept telling us, as soon as we sat down, they said, oh, this is from some sick farm in Idaho.
This is good meat.
And we all said, oh, that's the one we're getting.
And it made me happy to see because like, there's so many times where I'm sitting around with these restaurants and you hear about all these details about the meat.
And it comes and it's whatever.
That you could taste the difference.
That was really one of the better steaks I've ever had.
Oh, I agree, man.
It was great.
And we split up.
It was the perfect amount because we're still going to go out for a bit.
We weren't too weighed down, like leaning on the speaker in the corner of the bar.
Dude, one thing, what they're always like, yeah, this calf, it was like tickled by tall kids or whatever.
You're like, well.
Yeah, the Japanese, the Wagu, they're going through everything.
They're eating good there.
Like they're feeding them just grass-fed.
They're just eating grass all their lives.
Like Japanese people whispered directly into the skin of this animal while it was being raised.
You know, it's like it's like raised in a two-bedroom apartment.
You're like, holy shit.
Some of this meat sounds very fancy.
But yeah, it's like.
It's so scary also to think about.
I always do this too many times.
Like to think about truly how many animals there are if all this food is being given to people.
It's so scary to think about.
What are you saying?
Like how many like chickens are murdered or not murdered, but killed a day.
Like so many.
I'm just trying to think about this recently.
Like if I order an order of wings at a bar and there's 10 wings in there, does that technically mean that I'm having five chickens?
Like two wings of chicken?
I think there are some chickens that have more than two.
206 million a day.
Globally, approximately 206 million chickens are killed for food each day.
Wild's that.
What?
So wild's that.
Holy shit, dude.
Oh, that's wild.
That's the original Gaza right there, dude.
That's crazy.
I can't believe they're doing that.
In the United States alone, the number is around 26 million chickens.
That means that roughly 140,000 chickens are slaughtered every minute.
But hold on.
How many people live in America?
I think it's 350 million.
I think that sounds right.
It's around there, I think.
So you're saying.
Yeah, 340.
340 million, 26 million chickens a day.
So that means one out of.
I'm trying to do this math.
I'm not very good at math.
It's like one out of 13, maybe?
14?
I don't know.
I think 340 divided by 26 is around 214.
12.
Wow.
So one out of 13 people every day is having a chicken.
Which seems kind of low.
I thought it seemed right on time.
Really?
Yeah.
Because I think children don't need a lot of chicken because they're so little and they can't, and you shouldn't give expensive food to children.
I had chicken today.
Yeah.
I had a chicken sandwich.
You already had it?
Yeah, I had a, I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich from Pot Belly today, right before I came.
I need something in the system.
You want to know what happened to me yesterday that I'm actually really disappointed about?
And I hope that whoever did this sees this podcast and come catch me outside.
But yesterday, I was out, meeting my parents, did one of those party buses.
I've seen a photo of it.
Beautiful picture.
We'll include the picture.
Nice photo.
And then I went to one of these party buses and then we all went back to the hotel afterwards and I was pretty hungry.
I ordered some Chick-fil-A to be there when I get there.
Someone stole it.
No.
Someone stole it.
I was actually pooping.
I was in the bathroom.
It got delivered at 4.23 p.m.
I heard the guy guy knocking the door, left it outside.
4.36, I opened the door.
Vanished into the night.
Somebody stole it.
I was fucking furious.
I've never been one to like rat, but I was very close to going to the hotel and be like, do you have cameras?
I need to see who did this.
Because I got more chicken.
And you know what I'm really, I'm really hoping for?
Like when I order my Chick-fil-A, I do it every time I travel.
I just get a bunch of grilled nuggets and spicy fillets with no bread.
I hope those bastards were drunk and thought it was sandwiches and tenders and good shit.
And they just opened it to a huge pack of grilled nuggets.
I hope that fucked them over.
It got me so mad.
Oh, I fucking hope those pieces of shit fucking choke.
It's just a lot of, don't take what's not yours.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yeah, I hope they fucking choke on that shit.
I hope they get a fucking waffle fry that never leaves their system.
So now I know I have a thief on my floor.
Every time I've left my hotel room, I know someone is around here.
Yeah, I just want to start yelling, banging a bell, being like, I know one of you did this.
Dude, we have to be able to get footage of it.
What hotel was it at?
Yeah, I can say, because I'll be gone.
It's Cambria downtown in Nashville, Tennessee, sixth floor.
I'm room 614.
Someone stole my Chick-fil-A and I'm living about it.
And what could you have done?
Dude, 13 minutes leaving Chick-fil-A at your doorstep for 13 minutes is a long time.
On a Monday afternoon, though, I thought it was a Monday afternoon.
I haven't even seen anybody in the hallway yet.
And the guy sent me the photo.
It was right outside the room, 614.
It was right outside there and then vanished.
Did it sound like he set it down completely and left it?
Or could you hear any more like he might have been the guy to come get it?
I hope he wasn't the guy to do it because that would be bad.
That would be tough for DoorDash.
I love DoorDash.
Oh, yeah.
They're the fucking Navy SEALs of our generation.
I love DoorDash.
I mean, Tim Dylan and I had a big conversation about this.
To roll up silently to a door as quietly as you can, leave something completely fucking delectable, right?
Evade dogs, evade dangerous brothers probably trying to rob you, like all types of shit, you know, evade hungry people.
That's my biggest pet peeve about nice hotels.
Like when you stay in a nice hotel, the door dashers can't get up to you because of the key, because of the key.
Like this past weekend, we were staying at a nice hotel in Vegas.
They can't get up to you.
So you have to go down.
You have to go down and pick up the food.
But at a decent hotel like Cambria, they could walk right up.
There's no security.
Oh, really?
Let them run.
I didn't have to go down to the lobby or anything.
And then I run to the door and I open it into my underwear and make sure no one's around, grab it.
Yes.
We try to lean forward and just get your door open and just try to grab it off the ground.
Dude, the hotel rooms are crazy how much you're just hiding from everybody.
It's such an interesting experience to think about.
I was talking about this with our producer Kelsey recently, too, about just how much we love Kelsey.
Just how much sex do you think has been in every hotel room you've been in?
Like in Vegas, especially.
Oh, I can't even imagine how many people have even just jerked off on the floor in my room.
Yeah, if a hotel has been, if a hotel has been open for 20 years, it's had, like, I wonder how each, how much each room has seen.
It's scary to think about because there's no way it's being properly sterile.
No way.
Do you, I don't know how you could properly sterilize it unless you use like EcoShield or one of those companies that comes and does the, you know, I mean, you'd have to use some type of a high-grade cleaner.
What would you even do?
Pressure wash the carpet or whatever?
Truly no idea.
What do they always say?
No, you should have bring a black light into a hotel because you know what's on the walls.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
That's that's a that's weird for me.
And also my hotel is a very odd hotel.
It's the only hotel.
I got to send you a picture of it, it's the only hotel we've ever been in.
The bed is in the middle of the room, like it's not next to any walls, if that makes sense.
That's a normal room, but it's there's I'm telling you, I'll send it if I'll send you a photo.
It's just the bed is in the middle of the room.
I've never seen anything like it.
Oh, I get dizzy in there, I think, then just trying to even just figure out how to get to the bathroom.
You get caught in a fucking tailwind.
Like last night, my mom came into my room to get me to go out, and it was, yeah, that's it.
They're just in the middle of the room.
There's a walkway behind it.
There's a bar behind it.
Yeah, that's too much.
I don't, I like my bed in a corner.
I like to eliminate all possibility of things attacking me or whatever.
That's how I sleep in complete fear.
I do love a good hotel view, though.
I'm a sucker for a good view.
I love a good view.
We went to PowerSlap.
Unbelievable.
What did you think?
It was your first time.
Unbelievable.
I mean, being, thanks to you, obviously we were in the first row.
Being that close and seeing it, hearing it, the sounds of it is the craziest part.
Yeah, I can't believe they.
My only complaint actually is the bigger guys at the end, they're so big, they don't fall.
So the third guy, what was his name?
Blackburn, he was a nut.
It was awesome because those guys were falling.
I don't know if you remember the one guy fell friggin'.
He got slapped and then he fell so hard, his face hit the little middle thing they use.
He got double hit.
It was unbelievable.
PowerStop was awesome.
We were almost there.
It was like it's more of like a party environment, like just talking to everybody hanging out.
And then it's like instead of a band is playing, it's just big guys get slapped.
Yeah, it's kind of like you're sitting there having a snack or chatting or having a ice water or something.
And then you can feel everybody's about, somebody's about to slap somebody in the corner of the room.
Everybody literally goes silent for one second, looks over.
Somebody slaps the living lights out of somebody else.
And then, oh.
And it's so cool because like, me and Caleb went to our first UFC Saturday.
And there's a few there's a few moments where you saw something like, like, and you make that face, you make that face every single fight in PowerSlap.
Yeah.
Every single time you see it, it's just holy, literally, holy shit.
Oh, it's overwhelming.
And the one big guy, remember, he was going right and then he decided to hit with his left?
That was a stunning moment.
Yeah, he's like the cow rip in a fucking power slap, whatever.
That's a shara.
Yeah, he can play from both sides.
He was on, I don't even think he, and I think he did announce it because then they kept saying, oh, he's going left this time.
He's going left.
I thought it was a surprise.
I thought he was surprised left, but it wasn't.
Oh, it would be great, but they announced.
This is one thing that's about power slap.
They announce like, all right, it's left on one.
It just tells you like, so you like what hand he's using.
It's just a wild scene.
It's a wild scene.
And there's all, first of all, there's all these influencers there, right?
So you're like, everybody's like an influence.
It's like, oh, yeah, have you met Salad Boy or whatever?
And it's like, who?
And they're like, yeah, this is Salad Boy.
They're like, he doesn't have any arms, but watch him mix up this salad or whatever.
He's like, I've mixed over two dozen salads.
People walk in the room.
The risker's clearly there.
Okay, I wish he was there.
But yeah, it's like Salad Boy.
Or then like, there was like a black guy and he's like, oh, this is my son.
Oh, you've seen him on TikTok.
He counted to a million one time.
You're like, I don't give a fuck.
Is he the kid asking you for money?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
This is the best.
But yeah, they're like, hey, will you just do a video of my son?
Just you guys count to 20 together.
So I'm like, dude, I don't give a fuck, dude.
Don't do 10.
Yeah, dude, I'll do five with this kid, but I want to just go sit back down.
But the craziest thing that was happening at PowerSap was that the boxer was Terrence Crawford was there, and he has a couple of beautiful young children.
I think they were his children.
I think they were too, because they were around him most of the night.
Unless he was by us.
Yeah, he was like, and the kids would come up to you and they'd be like, hey, give me $100, right?
But then you were talking to somebody else.
And I was talking to the kid.
And I said, oh, sorry, what are you asking him?
And he just goes, oh, I lost a bet.
I want to see if I can have $100.
But then at a certain point, I didn't bet with him, right?
Because I don't know him and he's a child or whatever.
And then he comes back a little while later and he's like, pay up.
Pay up, son.
He said, this kid is a six here.
And there was three of them, like a six, maybe an eight and a nine.
And they're like, pay up, motherfucker, or whatever.
Or pay up, son, pay up.
So now I'm like, yeah, there's here in the car with this him right there.
Yeah, I think it was the one on the right.
It was him on the right.
And so anyway, now you're like, well, I can't, I have to pay.
Like, what if this kid goes back to his dad, one of the greatest fighters in the world and goes, dad, this guy lost a bet to me and won't pay it to me, dude?
Dude, that's, it's so scary to think about, too.
Like, Terence Crawford could kill both of us so easily.
So easily.
All that kid has to go do is, dad, this guy's being, that's all it needs for a dad to get activated.
And we're like.
Fatherhood's going to kick in and then who's done?
You and I guess me.
Because I'm with you by proxy.
Oh, we're eating charcuterie through a freaking bag.
We're sipping it.
Through a colostomy bag.
Ew, I can't have, I could never have that happen to me, man.
That would be sad.
Oh, it was so sad.
So yeah, I had to give each one of these kids like $40.
And I'm like, these kids are hitmen.
And they were going to every person in there.
I bet those kids made six racks in there.
Did you actually give them the money?
Yeah.
What the hell are you going to do?
The one kid had freaking cornrows.
Yeah.
Here.
Have a great time.
I hope you had luck.
It was a big one for him.
He got to see some slaps, made some money.
He was on the clock.
Crypto is blowing up again.
Yep, that's true.
I've been, I put both, I got both my feet in it.
I've been dipping my toes in that Bitcoin sauce, baby.
And whether you need Bitcoin or Solana or XRP or whatever, MoonPay is always the first app that I open when it comes to crypto.
Since MoonPay works with Apple Pay, Venmo, PayPal, bank accounts, and credit cards, it's fast and easy to get what I need in a few clicks.
And since MoonPay has been around for about six years and is used by millions of people, they've also formed pretty cool relationships with other companies in the crypto space, including Bitcoin.com.
Now, you've definitely heard of their name, but maybe you didn't realize how useful their app is.
It's a full-on crypto app where you can buy, sell, store, And learn all in one place.
Whether you're just figuring out what Bitcoin actually is or you're ready to start building a portfolio, Bitcoin.com makes it super approachable.
Pair it with MoonPay, and you've got everything you need to take your first steps into crypto or your next ones.
You know, everyone is health hacking these days, biohacking.
People want to live forever.
I was at a four-year-old's birthday party the other day.
He said he wanted to live to be 1100.
I'm like, dang, buddy.
If you are going to live that long, you're going to need to keep your NAD levels replenished.
That's what I'm talking about.
NAD.
I'm sure you've been hearing about it.
And between the ages of 30 and 70, your NAD levels drop off by 65%.
NAD, it's considered the battery pack of your cells.
Yeah, you want to keep your cells restored.
You want to keep them refreshed.
That's why there's true niogen.
Yep, true niogen.
It's real fountain of youth vibes, man.
It's a science-backed way to age better.
It's clinically proven to boost your NAD levels by up to 150%.
And it's backed by over 35 human clinical studies.
And some people are like, well, what is NAD?
What does it do?
Well, it just, it repairs and restores your cells, right?
That's it.
It doesn't give you like some crazy boost of energy.
It's a long-term play.
Andrew Huberman was on the podcast and we were talking about it.
And he said it's one of the top health hacks that he could recommend.
So here's what I do now.
I take true niogen every single day.
And right now, this past weekend, listeners, get up to 25% off true niogen with code Theo.
Go to trueniagen.com slash T-H-E-O.
That's T-R-U-N-I-A-G-E-N.com slash Theo.
And use code Theo for up to 25% off your NAD levels will thank me.
But yeah, Power Slap's nuts, man.
Dude, one of the nuttiest things is, dude, they slap each other.
And then I remember the first time I ever went, I'm waiting for an Uber after it.
And one of the guys who had been slapped is waiting for an Uber line.
I'm like, what?
You can't even just go to the cab.
Yeah, I think I'm like 95% sure.
Allegedly, it was the same dude.
I mean, his head was swollen and he looked like he had to be.
Their faces were so red.
And he got into the Uber, showed up.
He gets in through the trunk of it.
I'm like, this guy is fucking high.
Their brain's got to be destroyed.
Everything about it.
How do they train?
Who do they train with?
Who do they hit?
Because if you're training with a guy and you're taking the hits, how would you not then want to beat a hitter as well?
So who are you training on?
Yeah, that's a good point.
Who is the one just taking the hits and just them in training?
Yeah, dude.
If you're just doing hitting was, yeah.
What guys are you going to be like, yeah, I'll come over there and let you hit me 15 times so you can practice.
But yeah, I won't hit you back.
I'll just chill out.
How could you not also want to be in the spout slap?
So, dude, second slap into it, it looks like you've been fucking eating wasps or something.
It's like your whole face is swollen.
And some of the guys would get hit up high, like in the eye area.
One guy was taking chin because they were calling the fouls too.
That didn't get hit in the head.
It seems scary.
One guy close to the eye.
Eye was terrible.
It's just crazy.
And the one guy that was getting in the Uber one time, he's like, yeah, man, I'm going to catch a movie with my girl or whatever.
And I was like, what the fuck?
You better sleep.
Yeah, you better.
Dude, anything.
Actually, and I was like, dude, anything that keeps you awake for three hours sounds good to us right now, dude.
I hope it's a long.
I hope it's a damn Titanic, dude.
Do not rest.
You're not going to sleep.
Godfather one and two.
But I mean, it was a fun time.
It was really cool.
I enjoyed it.
It was very cool.
It was fun, man.
Shout out to Nicole that helped us get over there and have fun.
And they have like, it is fun.
Like you're going in there and there's all these different like people that you've seen from like different things online, TikTok, everything.
Yeah, Max Crosby was there.
It was cool to meet Cheryl Hines.
Yeah, Cheryl Hines.
She was such an angel.
I was so scared to say big fan.
I felt bad because she was hanging.
But I'm a huge curb guy.
So I was like, she was one person, I will say, that like me and Caleb's job, we do meet a lot of famous people.
I didn't know she was coming when I started.
I was like, wow.
It kind of took me back a little bit.
Like I've just watched her my whole life.
So I was like, oh my God, Cheryl Hines.
Yeah, I've never seen Kerber and Thurzazam, but I know people love it so much.
I'll probably watch it when I get married or something.
Good show.
12 seasons though.
It's a long haul.
Really?
Yeah, I just redid it a few months ago.
I decided to do a full rewatch.
At this age?
Yeah.
Do something else, man.
You can watch this shit later.
I know.
I mean, sometimes I give them like a Monday night.
I got nothing to do.
I'll watch a show.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about doing a Sopranos rewatch.
I haven't watched Sopranos in a long time, honestly.
You should do that in a theater and have people come, have like a food experience for people.
Wow.
That's a good idea.
Kind of like our idea we were talking about at breakfast the other day.
Me and Caleb's idea.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You and Caleb need an Airbnb.
Yeah.
And then we, for the record, me and Caleb, we're thinking about starting an Airbnb empire in three different cities and making it our own experience in each Airbnb.
I don't know if I will do it, but we may try.
It'd be great and like have like a confessional in it where people that are going there, if it's like a bachelor party, a bachelorette, they can go in there and give a nice message to the bachelor or bachelorette.
Yeah.
That confession idea from you was a great idea.
You guys could compile those and make that like part of it.
And part of the experience too, that you get this back or you get a video of your weekend of just people popping in and saying nice things.
Stuff like that's important.
Yeah.
Almost like, I agree.
People don't say enough nice things to people.
It's nice when people just are just saying nice.
Like every now and then I'm going to start doing it to you too.
Every now and then, if it's like a Sunday and I'm maybe a little buzz having some drinks with my friends and I'm in a good mood, I'll just text people and be like, hey, I miss you.
Hope all as well.
You're a good guy.
You're a stud.
I think you do a really nice job of that, man.
You make people feel super welcome.
I think, you know, you're like a welcome mat with black olives on the edges of it.
I appreciate that.
That's the Greek side of me.
But I mean, speaking of that, I got to, I got to commend you.
I mean, same to you.
You're so like seeing you this weekend at PowerSup, you're so nice to everybody.
So courteous to everybody.
Like PowerSup, literally, I've never seen, you were like a Paul McCartney.
You're like a Beatle.
Really?
And you're so nice to everybody.
Yeah.
I think sometimes I don't notice it unless I start to get like super uncomfortable, you know?
I don't know.
But we had a great time, dude.
Great time.
Thank you for everything.
It was a blast.
Oh, thank you guys, dude.
One of the reasons I went was because you guys were going to be there.
I knew it was going to be somebody else's first events.
What did you think about the UFC?
Because it was your first UFC as well, right?
Yeah, it was our first UFC.
UFC was fun.
It was just, it was a blast.
But what time did y'all show up?
We got there at seven.
So we were there for the main event.
It was really cool to see.
I didn't make a little parlay before we got there and didn't lose pretty quickly.
I won the first one with that gray-haired gentleman.
or something uh dariush Yes, but then I took uh Cara France.
I loved his vibe at the weigh-ins, and that was that was a tough one because his, when he was doing the weigh-ins with my haka thing, like he was doing, I said, this guy's the man.
I got to take this.
And his brother was right behind us, too.
Yeah.
And he lost.
He was getting super into it.
There was some crazy fights.
Dude, I saw that one fight.
It was Van versus.
He did win, though, because I remember someone at the weigh-in came up to me before, the day before and was like, you got to bet Van Tamar.
You got to bet Van Tamar.
And I forgot to as soon as he won.
I was like, oh, shit.
He came out of the blue.
It was like just hyping Van up.
Yeah, it was Roy Vall versus Van.
Dude, I'd never seen this.
They took, there were times where they knocked each other out and then hit him again so quick that he knocked him back in, dude.
I'd never seen that in my life.
I swear to God, I saw it two times in this match.
A guy knocked a guy out and then knocked him right back in.
I was like, he's for, I was like, he's out.
It's like, oh, he's in.
He came right back.
I mean, the guys are insane.
They're sickos.
And it's so, it's cool to see like how much respect they have for each other too.
Like after they're done fighting.
It's nuts.
And it's crazy to see the whole arena is just huge fight fans.
And I felt kind of weird because I didn't really know anything.
Everyone's talking about the strategy of everything, different moves, what they should do.
Who do you like?
And I'm just like, guys, this is my first time.
I don't even know who's fighting.
But it was fun to see.
I've always wanted to go to one.
It was very cool to see.
I will definitely continue watching the big ones.
The big ones are fun.
Yeah.
And I think you can get into it.
I think one thing that I, that helped me get into it, because I, UFC was scary to me at first, right?
I never grew up being able to really like defend for myself or whatever type shit.
So I think just fighting in general, I mean, I've been in some fights, but I wouldn't say I was doing great in them.
Yeah.
You know, I've only been in one, two.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not a lot.
I'm not, not a fighter.
Oh, when I get really old, I'm fighting motherfuckers.
The second I go to a senior care center or whatever, I'm fucking.
First dude I get in that comes up to me getting loud or whatever, even if he's lost and he's just loud because he can't hear.
Fuck him, dog.
Done.
He's going down, bro.
Done.
That's it for him.
He's had a long life.
Done.
But that's going to let everybody know what everybody else in there, Henry, whoever else lives in that bitch, that I'm there.
You think you're going to go to a senior care facility when you're older?
Yeah, I might go when I'm younger, dude.
Caleb lives at a senior center.
He did.
He was 50 and over, I believe.
Yeah, he lived in a 50 and over building, which is good for him because he likes to hang when he's home.
So there's nothing else you could do, really.
No, relax, learn a new game.
Yeah.
I think they had one room that he called his office.
But he was right on the beach too.
So it was a nice location.
You could walk around, really on the beach.
So walk around.
It's very nice.
We go out to the pool over there, and it's a lot of like sun-dried Hebrews kind of with like neck jewelry and Italians and Greeks with neck.
That's pretty much it.
Just Hebrews and Italian.
Like in his area, in that area of Florida, Delray Beach.
I call it the Sixth Borough.
It's basically all New York.
It's only New Yorkers.
And it's so fun.
Like you get old Italian guys from Brooklyn there.
I'll be at the bar with them and I'll just be like, where are you from?
And you go kind of like Nebraska.
Like you're from Nebraska or something.
They get so mad.
Like, what are you kidding me?
Benson, but boring Rays, they freak out.
It's one of my favorite things to do.
They're just, they're just the best.
They're such funny people.
I love them.
They're such ridiculous human beings.
Oh, yeah.
Being down there is a good time, man.
That's a beautiful air.
It gets so hot, though, this time of year.
I love the water, man.
There's something special about just being in the water.
I'm such a fan of it.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I think a lot of people believe that life started right out of the water.
It kind of makes sense.
We kind of seem like something the ocean left.
Or I don't know.
Yeah, I wonder if God, like, because you have to have water to make anything.
Dude, look at probably most recipes use water.
Everything.
So for sure, like, God made us with water.
So obviously.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I remember for some reason, remember the movie War of the Worlds that came out like 20 years ago?
Tom Cruise?
Alien movie ruined my life.
I was terrified the hell out of me.
It was an alien attack movie.
But at the end, they find out that they started saying how everything starts in water.
And water, I think, well, that was signs, actually.
And water is like how all this started.
Like how they fought the aliens.
But it's also in signs because in the signs, they're also, though, aliens are anti-water as well.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm maybe mixing up my alien movies.
Well, remember, like a few months ago, they're like, aliens are in the water.
Now nobody even gives a shit.
People are just out there fighting.
Yeah, lazy rivers and shit.
I was like, I was looking at the other day.
Some kids are in lazy rivers.
We got to go to a lazy river.
We've been talking about it.
What are you talking about?
We got to do it.
There's them cyborgs in the deep end, homie.
Yeah, someone, I did see the other day.
I saw a tweet about the Jersey drones, too.
What happened to that?
Oh, dude.
What happened to that?
I think that was just a new Papa John's delivery swarm or whatever.
That was just Jersey Mics trying a new fucking.
For three weeks, we just had the lights going on in New Jersey.
I knew people that saw him.
Like, really?
Yeah.
One of my buddies, his frat brother from college is a cop in Toms River, New Jersey.
And he was like texting them.
I'm like, I'm seeing these things.
They're here.
Well, why don't you fucking shoot at him or something?
You're a fucking cop.
He's just texting his buddies.
You're doing the same thing we're doing.
I don't know if we can go straight at him.
What do you mean?
Who's going to see?
I saw somebody attack her.
What are you going to say?
The Toms River Police Department going to take out the alien drones?
Yeah, dude.
Bro, they hit dinger.
There's like really five guys on the ports.
Dude, whatever.
We cheer for those little bastards when they won the World Series.
Yeah, their World Series, Little League World Series home.
Hit a ball at one of those drones.
John Fraser.
Yeah, they could.
You think at the very least they could just hit a freaking flyball and take out a couple drones.
Well, especially like the fact that if it's aliens or whatever, they're spying on New Jersey.
I'm like, dude, yes, get some Jersey, but get like a charcuterie of America.
Get some other places as well.
She just don't think that everybody is, you know, has a side hustle doing trading cards or whatever.
That is very New Jersey.
It's such a creepy thing, though, thinking about like aliens and if they exist.
You know, it's actually a very weird thing to me, too.
What's your take on like supernatural stuff?
Supernatural?
Like, what do you mean?
So one of my best friends, Scott, and we call him Sal.
I don't know why we call him Sal.
We call him Sal.
Anyway, he was here actually in Nashville on a bachelor party like three years ago.
And true, like he's a normal person.
He's one of my best friends.
Truly to this day claims that like they came home from the bar one night.
He was asleep and there was like some sort of entity like over him looking at him.
And he was like, I remember he came home The next day, and like we got lunch, and he was saying, telling us, like, this thing is real.
We saw it multiple times, and it's almost like freeing or like feels good because I know that stuff exists, and now I know like God is real, is what he said.
He was, and he's completely normal guy.
He stands by it.
Wow, did he bring a chick home?
Maybe it was he just brought a tall chick home with him.
He said it was tall, he did say it was a tall really, but some of that shit's super scary, man.
Like, I recently had, uh, I was in Los Angeles probably less than a year ago, and you know, like staying in, we rented a house in the hills, and the hills for me is very scary.
I don't like the hills, it's very like unsecluded and away from everything.
It's just staying there in general freaks me out.
And I was there with one of my producers, and he was lining at like 1 a.m.
And I was landing, I landed at like six, and I went to this house.
I didn't realize we booked it so far into the hills.
It was almost under the Hollywood sign.
Oh, yeah.
And it was, we got there.
I was like, this place is fucking terrifying.
Look, nothing like the pictures.
It was a nice house, but it was like almost like 70s themed.
Like the pool wasn't even hot.
It was cold.
And then I was like, Vince Neal died here or whatever.
Like, he's alive.
He's there still.
But that, that's what ruined, like Charles Manson and all that shit ruined the hills for me.
It freaks me out.
So I'm in there.
I'm sitting there in my bed, just literally in a pretzel like this, freaked out.
And I kid you not, I hear the loudest boom out of the blue.
Don't know what it is.
Had no idea what it was.
It wasn't those fucking Costco dudes, it was it?
AJ?
Yeah.
It was.
It was big AJ.
It was Big AJ.
And the next thing I know, the Rizzler's there.
That guy, like, dude, the crazy part is the Rizzle doesn't even fucking know Big AJ.
The whole thing's unreal.
Yeah.
So many people think that he's Big AJ's child.
He's just like a fifth grader or something or fourth.
He had held back, allegedly.
And then they're like kind of this Jewish powerlifting family.
I saw you had the Rizzo right on your shows recently.
He was in the audience and he came up on stage, very nice guy.
But also, dude, he fucking, he was drinking soda at like almost 10 p.m.
I'm like.
Yeah, I saw you saying that at Craigs, but then on Danny McBride's episode.
Yeah.
It's like, he, I was like, what time's your bedtime?
And he's like, you know, he gave me one of those.
Whenever he gets tired is when the Rizzler goes to sleep.
He said, big money don't sleep.
I was like, what?
How much money do you think the Rizzler has?
It's got to be multiple millions, I think, right?
You think so?
He's like the most famous person on the internet.
That's a great point.
And he does like a children.
Is he working in a children's market?
He's kind of edging into adult marketing, though.
I wonder if kids even like are fans of him.
I think it's more of adults just enamored with him.
He's so gorgeous.
He's unbelievable.
He's definitely, I like that he's just himself, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He got up on stage the other night and answered a couple of questions for us.
I think I've been learning to, I've been seeing videos of him.
It seems like he's getting more confident in like speaking and stuff, which is nice because he's literally just a nine-year-old kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I was hoping.
I was like, well, let's get him up here and at least get a little bit of practice in front of a, you know, a random knight.
And yeah, it was great, man.
That was great to see him.
Anyway, here's this boom.
I don't even investigate.
I'm terrified.
I'm going to meet a few buddies at Barney's Beanery.
And I'm like, you know what?
I'm just going to go.
I'm not coming back home till my producer lands at 1 a.m.
So I got to occupy myself until he lands.
He says, no, I'm going back there alone.
So I go to the, I'm at Barney's Beanery for like seven hours because I refuse to go home.
Finally, he picks me up.
We go in the house.
I go to bed.
I close the door.
It was the mirror on the back of the door just, that's when I realized what it was, just fell by itself.
It was on like six screws, just fell by itself.
Bro.
No, it didn't break.
No idea why.
It just, I was literally sitting in the bed.
It was where that TV is.
Just fell out of blue.
And I was like, this is not for me.
Too much up there.
Yeah.
I'm not into, I'm not into the supernatural stuff.
There's been other times in my house.
Oh, well, that's not that.
I mean, that's pretty supernatural, but that's also just bad drywall, probably.
I mean, that could be a mix of things, right?
I think my house is haunted, I think.
Well, yeah, but that's...
Yeah, actually, my buddy claims he did this in like the third grade, my friend Frank.
I don't know if it's him or not, or like my parents told him to tell me this to ease my mind.
Oh, yeah.
But literally in my attic, I'm pretty sure there's something carved that says like darkness is here on the wall, which I don't, I don't like.
I've always wondered if someone's getting it gotten into my attic.
Oh, dude, I went into my attic, dude.
Yeah, I went into my attic not long ago and was like, who's up here?
Like, because first of all, the way they have an attic set up, it's the scariest thing ever, dude.
Because first of all, you have to find a square on the ceiling of your regular home, right?
And it has a string hanging out of it.
So obviously your attic is go, it's that time of the month in your attic, right?
Always.
You want to hear a bad thing about my attic too?
The door to get into it is in my room, my childhood bedroom.
So it's right there.
Yeah.
That's the way to get to the attic.
And on top of that, we growing up, we used to be a big Halloween family.
So we would go all out for Halloween.
There's like a fucking old witch up there.
We still have this witch, like a full-sized witch.
She's green.
She's got a huge snaz.
So every time I walk up there, she's just staring at me.
They're all, it's all up there.
All my jerseys that I had when I was a kid, my witch.
It's a scary place.
Well, it's a very scary setup because first of all, you have to find that place.
And if it's in your childhood room and that means just like there's this open portal to like scary pieces of the holidays that we keep in our attic, right?
Exactly.
So first of all, you have to find that cable thing.
You pull on it, right?
Or sometimes there's even like a stick that's in a closet.
There's a little hook.
You have to find that.
It's an insane thing.
And it's, they built the whole contraption.
It's literally like the earliest Pilates thing that they ever made.
It's from like the 1700s.
You can hear the polio leg.
It's just like one big polio leg kind of folds out of there.
It's the same things that they used to use to make like forest gumps, like leg, leg braces.
Yeah, just leg braces.
It's the same part of that makes a ladder that comes down.
And you have to climb up there.
And then you get up there.
All the holidays.
It's like there's a snowman that's looking at you, right?
There are, there's a vibe.
Yeah, like there's Halloween.
It's just all the holidays are sitting right there waiting for you.
It's an interesting thought that all the holidays are right there.
It's scary.
They have turkey and they all live up there when you're not.
And it's like they all stopped and there's just like, and I'm like, who's up here?
And you just hear bells will be ringing.
That sounds kind of nice.
I'm like, okay, just making sure everybody's getting along up here.
Everybody's good.
It's almost your time.
And that's big.
They're up three months in a row, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, bing, bang, boom.
So there's nine months of nothing.
Nine months of sleep.
No, but then you have the Easter rabbit.
He's like, I'm hiding eggs.
They're all just Up there having a good time.
It's there on the forward.
It's long.
It's a big thing.
That's a fun idea to think about.
All the holidays hanging out.
Oh, they're all just hanging out up there in your attic, dude.
And then there's Black History Month.
They're like, what's up, motherfuckers?
Santa, wedding.
Hose it.
You're like, okay, this is getting a little turnt, but hey, have a good time, guys.
As long as it's getting turnt.
As long as they're having fun, their body, their choice.
They're popped off.
That's it.
Yeah.
When it comes to like, yeah, Santa, Frankenstein, whoever, your body, your choice.
Totally.
And dude, I'm telling you, I have a witch up there.
There's a legitimate green witch.
It's a life-size witch.
Of course.
It's horrifying.
Yeah, I have been up there.
And my heart's almost beating a little bit thinking about the attic.
The attic's a scary thing.
The attic is so scary.
I had to go up the other day in my house and I was like, how do I even, where is the attic?
And first, you're like, oh, shit, that's where it is.
Because every now and then I'll hear something up there.
And I'm like, and for the first two months, I didn't even care.
I'm like, if the guy's up there or he's coming in and out, he's obviously passive.
I've been hearing it for two months.
He's not trying to attack or whatever, unless he's up there plotting, but he would be louder.
You know, he would have a chalkboard going.
I would hear something.
You know, I'd hear like, you know, him watching John Gruden YouTubes or something.
I would hear something.
That would be nice.
I would hear some strategy, though, you know.
Spider-Two Ibnana just in the back of your ear.
But yeah.
It's an interesting thing, man.
I don't know how I feel about all the supernatural stuff.
I hope ghosts aren't real, but then I hope they are.
Because if they are, that means God's real.
Yeah.
Dude, it's so bright outside.
Have you been outside?
It's impossibly bright.
It's like I want to leave my eyes inside.
But then I'm just outside without my eyes.
No, there's only one solution.
And our friends at Shady Rays have it figured out with premium polarized shades that won't break the bank.
Shady Rays is an independent sunglasses company offering a world-class product rated five stars by over 300,000 people.
Plus, if your shades ever go missing or take an unexpected hit, don't sweat it.
They have the most insane protection in all of eyewear.
Every pair is backed by a lost or broken replacements.
If you don't love your shades, exchange for a new pair or return worry-free within 30 days.
There's no risk when you shop with Shady Rays.
I like my Shady Rays.
I'll be honest, the TV in my living room is too bright and I don't know how to change it.
I will put my Shady Rays on while I watch sports especially.
Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their best deal.
Head to shadyrays.com and use code Theo for 35% off polarized sunglasses.
Try for yourself.
The shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people.
You know, summertime is the perfect time to start a little side hustle.
Whether you're at home and you're making a little bit of, you're making some homemade nougat or whatever in your spare bedroom and you want to sell that out of the back window or whatever to a couple of the neighbors, bruh.
Or whether you plant a couple of avocado trees in your front yard and you start pushing produce.
What I want to tell you, Shopify is there to help with your side hustle.
And even as your side hustle grows into a full-time hustle, baby.
You know, we had a merch store.
Shopify was there.
Bam, bam, bam, all along the way as it's grown.
Whether you have employees or even if you don't have employees, Shopify basically operates as your back office, overseeing operation for you so you can stay focused on the things that matter.
At any time, you can open Shopify on your phone or laptop and see what people are shopping for, how many people are checking out, and what products are your favorites.
So if you're ready to build your own empire, whether it's merch, a new product, or the next best idea, get on shopify.com slash T-H-E-O and make it happen.
That's shopify.com slash Theo.
Well, also, when you, I think there's two ways to, or like, I don't know if there's two ways to look at it.
I just like saying that once in a while, but I think believing in God is a very, it's extraterrestrial in a certain way, right?
Believing in like that we've come from something, right?
Like not that God's alien, but that you're believing in something supernatural.
So to believe that supernatural powers could only go in the scope of what you want them.
You know what I'm saying?
Like sometimes we'd like to think of things only as we want to think of them.
But I think if you're going to believe in supernatural, then a lot of things would be possible.
Yeah, I think Khan goes hand in hand.
Because that's just one thing I always say.
I don't know anything about how the universe was created.
But even the Big Bang Theory, wasn't that few like particles or chemicals coming together and exploding?
Like, how did those chemicals get there?
How did those particles get there in the first place?
It was the first meth lab, really.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was the first thought.
How did those first things come together, though?
It's a crazy thought to think about.
Like, when did it start?
No one will know.
It's crazy.
It's definitely interesting.
And then they allow us to show up and mill around us, loiter through life, just like traveling by, having some bruschetta, you know what I'm saying?
Watching the genocide and then, you know, trying to find a nice, and then the like commercials during the genocide.
It's like nothing goes with this mass slaughter like a Pinot Noir, you know?
You're like, God, what has happened to us?
Very sad times in a lot of ways.
But, but yeah, man, but you still have to live your life, right?
And it's interesting.
But then you're like, is Satan just amongst us?
Like we treat each other human beings.
We're all instead of just being like, hey, look how crazy it is.
We're all living together on this magical Christmas ornament of the Lord that got hung in outer space.
We're here shooting each other.
Like imagine if you saw a Christmas tree and you see a beautiful ornament.
It's the most beautiful ornament there is.
And you go and you look really close, right?
Like you zoom in, like you do and like a Google Maps for a Christmas ornament, the most beautiful one that exists.
It's like a diamond in the sky.
And you look at it and you're like, holy shit, they are gunning each other down on this fucking thing.
Stop that.
You're like, why?
This is supposed to be an ornament.
It's supposed to be, there's no bad things that happen in snow globes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And this is it.
This is the best snow globe.
And it's the best.
I feel like we can do better in this snow globe, man.
I really believe that.
Let's talk about, I do want to, One thing that really struck me over the weekend, man, besides your kindness and sincerity to everyone, was the hash brown you mentioned at the win.
Oh, buddy, that was something.
We came down for breakfast Saturday morning.
Yeah.
And we had a hash brown down there at a restaurant.
It was called Tableau, I think.
It is the restaurant, Tableau.
See if you can bring up a photo of the hash brown.
It was like a little baby hash brown, too.
It wasn't big at all, but it was thick.
And I got a, I've been doing this a lot when I'm traveling.
I've just been waking up, going to like a diner, hotel bar, and just getting two eggs, sunny side up, toast, bacon, easy, boom.
This came with a hash brown, and that was a damn good hash brown.
It was this big.
It wasn't even large, but it was so creamy.
Yeah.
It was perfect.
It was fantastic.
That's one of my favorite things.
It's a nice just breakfast hash brown as well.
Yeah, the inside tasted like it had kind of almost been cooked in a sauna in a way.
It was very perfect.
It had a light.
What was the spice now?
Yeah, bring it up.
Let's get that.
Let's see that.
I don't even know if it's like by, if it's on the menu by itself, it may just be coming with the-I think that was the menu.
Tableau breakfast is what I got.
They don't even give it.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
That's what it is.
Tableau potato.
Ooh, the tableau potato.
That must be what they call it.
They don't even call it a hash brown because it's too classy to be a hash brown.
It's just a tableau potato.
And boy, was that a hash brown.
It was a hash brown.
There they are.
Is that it?
Yeah.
It was, I couldn't, it was definitely, man.
And it had a, I don't know if it had a rosemary, a slight chive, just like a chive had wandered through and just left a few footprints, nothing heavy.
Yeah, I mean, that thing was classy.
I like that place to stay at.
It was, that's, I think clearly I could say the best hotel in Vegas.
You think so?
The wind and the encore are both awesome.
I love both.
I mean, I'm not, it's not that I really need much to like a hotel.
Yeah.
Like I like the resorts world there.
The resorts world is great.
Resorts world's like its own little city.
They got everything in there.
They got great restaurants, casino, bar, concert venue.
But I'm not, I've been coming around on Vegas, kind of.
I think it's, it's okay.
I used to hate it.
Now I'm coming around on it.
Yeah.
Oh, I mean, I think it's, you know, if you can, if, if, if, if, if, if the right things happen and it's, if you can use it to, for good, you know, I think it's perfect.
The biggest mistake people think about Vegas is they think it's like here where you could just go on Broadway and there's 100 bars and you could just walk into one and say, oh, I don't like this one.
I'm going to walk to the next one.
Vegas, it's so spread out.
The hotels are, you think the strip, you think everything's next to each other.
It's so goddamn spread out.
Like me and my buddies at a bachelor party there two years ago and I was the best man.
So I had to run it.
You know, when they say like, Nashville ain't ready, Vegas ain't ready?
Vegas could not have been any more prepared.
They knew what they were doing.
They kicked our ass.
It was, it was, it's tough.
It's tough to do this whole plan, especially when you're roaming around with 15 guys.
That's impossible.
Yeah.
Like thank you to Alex and Drew.
They let me bring, and the chainsmith let me bring 15 Italian men to one of their shows.
And that was the highlight of the weekend.
But you can't bring 15 guys anywhere.
You haven't, I don't seen that kind of troop support since World War II.
I know.
It was, it was, and the Italians were on the losing side of that too.
It was, it was a bad loss.
It was a bad weekend.
But that was the highlight of the weekend.
They did let us bring 15 dudes.
Very kind.
That's kindred activity right there.
I mean, that's one of the worst asks you could possibly ask somebody.
Hey, do you mind if me, who were not even that close, come and bring 15 guys and bring 15 periods?
That's zero boobs and just 15 penises.
Oh, man.
That's like a fucking.
It's not even like we said, oh, it's a 15 of us.
We're bigger than like five chicks with us.
It's just 15 guys.
Yeah.
Oh, it's just a Dago invasion or whatever they call it.
Exactly.
We stormed the beaches.
Yeah.
Like just like storming the beaches of a fucking Puka de Beppa, you know?
That's what it is, dude.
That's the Dago invasion.
Can you say Dago or not?
It's bad.
I mean, we can bleep it on my.
No, say Dago.
I'm not going to say Dago.
I'm 75% Italian.
I'm giving you Dago.
You are?
Yeah.
You get Dago, Wapa Guinea.
What's that one?
Dago Wapa.
Like it's hard.
Have you seen that video?
No.
Is that an Italian video?
It's going to watch an Italian person accidentally burn their hands on a cast one.
Oh, Guido's a huge one.
That's the classic.
Oh, yeah.
Guido's are.
Guido's not even real.
Guido's Wapo.
Like Georgie Short 2009.
That was when Guido came in.
But Guido, Wap, Dago, Guinea.
Yeah.
You have it.
I'm giving you the D-words.
Okay.
Dude, I was at a show the other night.
Some black guy gave me an N-word card.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It had my name on it and everything.
He filled it out for me.
It was cool.
But I'm like, dude, where do you want me to use this?
I mean, yeah, maybe at a Bucky's or something, but like, I don't think you can just use this anywhere.
So I don't know.
I saved it.
I'm going to show it to somebody and see what they thought.
But I'm not just going to make any choices.
I'm going to talk to my neighbors about it.
I love that.
Yeah.
That's something.
I think you got to like, like, you know, when you get a new apartment or something and they got to get, they call for references, you got to get at least five references.
Oh, yeah, definitely dude.
You can't be one guy.
No, I'm going to have to get Drewski to sign the back of it or something.
Sign up.
Somebody.
Dude, I do want to talk about this I was thinking about was the perfect peanut butter and jelly.
Ooh, I was thinking about that.
I will say I don't have too much experience in the peanut butter and jelly game.
I do love uncrustables.
Not really.
You like uncrustable?
Honestly, this may sound crazy.
I do consider peanut butter and jelly sweet.
Like I'm more of a savory guy.
I really am.
I don't, like I was saying, I've just been getting into the gems.
I have never was never really the biggest peanut butter and jelly guy.
Like going, like maybe brought it to lunch at school a few times.
My big lunch growing up was like ham and cheese.
I'm actually dying for a good just classic ham and cheese sandwich.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ham and cheese, a little mustard.
Or roast beef.
I used to do roast beef a lot, but then by like Wednesday, it was gray.
So you'd get roast beef for the week.
Monday, fantastic.
And then it just dwindles as the day goes by.
Roast beef gives up fast, you know?
I love roast beef, though.
It's one of my favorite things.
Me and my dad sometimes will just go to our local deli and get like a pound of roast beef and bread and just make our own sandwiches and a ball of fresh mozzarelle.
Fantastic.
Fresh mozzarella, salt, pepper, mayo.
Boom.
Maybe some hot peppers if I'm feeling spicy.
God, dude.
Yeah.
I think I just, I want to be, I want to like, sometimes it's like, I just got to get more engaged with my life.
It's like, you know, I eat only two things every day mostly.
You were telling us down the other day.
What was it again?
I eat a smoothie that's pretty good.
And then I also do a quesadilla, almond flour quesadillas.
There's these almond flour quesadillas that I really like.
It's just like simple ingredients, nothing.
And then cheese on there.
It's that fake cheese, like the Mexican shredded cheese or something, you know?
And it's not, it's like plywood or something.
It's not even real cheese or whatever, you know.
I mean, a lot of Mexican people will even use it as a construction, as like a some sort of a base in a construction.
Yeah, I feel like it's, yeah, it's definitely like it's a polymer or whatever it's called, you know?
Anyway, I'll put that and then I'll have some ground beef I cooked up and then another layer of cheese, a little bit of sea salt, another almond quesadilla thing.
Nice.
I hope that becomes like the McConaughey sandwich.
Remember that clip that went crazy a few months ago?
McConaughey was on Two Bears, I think, talking about how he makes a tuna salad, and it just went crazy.
Everyone was making the McConaughey tuna salad.
God.
Yeah, I just want to up my game and get some better recipes.
Maybe I would like to, maybe I'll get a wife that likes to cook or a girlfriend that really likes to cook and can take me down some different roads like that, you know, like a motherly type of girlfriend that's, you know, just like who likes to cook and watch and our whole family can eat together or whatever.
But, oh, peanut butter and jelly.
This is what my grandmother used to do this.
And she didn't like me, but I do remember she made this for me a couple of times.
I think she made that.
She would take a piece of bread.
And I like wheat bread if I ever have to have peanut butter and jelly.
Because white bread just got something happened to it, the basic white bread, bunny bread or whatever.
It just like, it's better when you're younger, I think.
I never, I've never done the wheat on peanut butter and jelly.
I think I feel like if you're going for PB and J, you should just go for the white because wheat's supposed to be healthier for you, right?
It's just brown white bread.
I remember some of the healthy kids in school used to have the wheat bread and I was like, these fucking meat.
Well, my mom was crazy like that.
My mom would like never talk to us, but then make us eat.
Like, you know, she would be like, oh, we're having like lambs.
And like my mom was very bizarre.
She'd be like, yeah, she would have no communication with us, but then be like, but tonight we were completely poor.
She'd be like, but tonight we're going to have.
Fagoa.
And we'd all hope she'd be like emotional connection, right?
But it was always like French onion soup.
So it was just every time you're like, and it was like once a month she would do that.
She'd come home from work like once a month and we'd have a babysitter who was either deceased or like couldn't even, we had this one lady that I couldn't even talk with.
I think she'd been in like a, I don't know if she'd had a stroke right when we met her or whatever.
She stayed with us for two weeks and I think she had a stroke like the day she got to us.
And for two weeks, we had no clue.
It was just like playing charades with this like sweet older black lady.
We're like, okay.
Do you know how old you were for the guy?
I have no idea.
I was probably fucking eight or whatever.
Anyway, but my mom, yeah, that's how she was.
She would like not talk to us, but then she would like get us together and she'd be like, and we'd have all these issues or like desperate need for affection.
And she'd be like, but tonight, split pea soup with ham.
And we'd be like, nice.
He's like using the food to bond.
My parents have done that too.
It was so exciting, dude.
Oh, for sure.
I'm surprised that shirt doesn't have some spare Gorgonzola in the pocket, you know?
Yeah, my parents used to fucking supersize me.
They would give me the supersized McDonald's and I was a kid.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I know.
It's bad.
I don't want to make them sound like bad parents.
They're beautiful people.
But when I was a child, I was having supersized McDonald's bed.
You were the fucking first Rizzler then.
Yeah.
Dude, I saw me.
He had two Jimmy Johns.
He's like, I don't even think I'm going to eat one of these.
I was like, all right, dude, do whatever.
You can afford it.
Yeah, I do want, but still.
But my grandmother would make, she would put butter on one piece.
Nice.
Jelly on top of that.
And then peanut butter on the other piece.
So one piece had butter, just spread butter base, and then jelly.
And that was, for some reason, so good.
Beautiful.
It's already good.
And then you add in some butter.
Butter's welcome to any party.
Yeah.
And it was like, you know, it was like normal, real salted butter, like regular ass butter.
Oh, that sounds so good.
Not like that stuff.
It's like, I can't believe it's not.
Yeah, the margarine.
Yeah.
Because even that's what I've been saying.
Like when I've been having the jam at these restaurants, I've been doing butter down first and then the jelly.
And it's good.
I wish butter was zero calories.
That would make my life a lot easier.
Butter, I always say if I could do a zero calorie food, it would be rice.
If I could do make rice zero calories, I would be pretty hot.
Is it high calorie as rice?
It's not high calories.
Like it's supposed to be good for you, but I could just, it's not like it's horrible for you.
But I could like eat chicken and rice every meal if I could.
I love chicken and rice.
And then if it's just grilled chicken and the rice, I think people consider rice remotely healthy, though, because everyone's all these skinny people in the city are eating grain bowls and stuff.
That's a good point.
It says right here, while a cup of cooked long grain white rice has around 205 calories, a cup of cooked white rice typically contains around 205 to 242 calories.
Brown rice doesn't really have that much difference.
No, and people think it's so much healthier.
That's a little life hack I do with Chipotle.
I ask them for both rices and then you get like double the amount of rice.
And they do that?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's one thing I popped in my brain one day.
It's real good.
I love Basmati rice too.
They just said that.
There's this place in New York.
Halal guys.
You ever had that?
It's actually nationwide now.
I bet there's one here.
Basmati.
I'm going to be up there next week.
Yeah.
What are you doing in New York?
We got some podcasts up there next week.
Cool.
What is it?
Hey, I'll be around.
You will?
Hey, if I want to get dinner in a nice Italian restaurant one night, we should.
Dude, I'd love it.
Monday or Tuesday?
Yeah.
I literally, wait, this Tuesday, this Monday and Tuesday?
Yeah.
We leave a Sunday in Charlotte.
We're leaving on Monday.
That makes me sad.
I literally just, actually, Caleb just came and stayed with me and my family for two days in my childhood home.
And I brought him to my favorite restaurant and he loved it.
And it's called Halaga.
It's called Luigi's.
Luigi's.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's fantastic.
So it's in New Hyde Park.
It's right on the border of Queens and Long Island.
So it's not too far from the city.
It's probably like an hour, 45 minutes from the city, but it's right on the border of Queens and Long Island.
Yeah, I bought Caleb, bought like nine of my friends, my parents and Caleb.
We went a few months, a few weeks ago.
It's great.
Oh, we owe them a visit then.
I'd love to go there sometime.
Dude, I went to this place the other day after one of the UFC fights, and I'm kind of after the UFC fights, Joe Rogan invited me to go to dinner, right?
So I'm like, oh, yeah, you know?
So I got to go, and I'm definitely name-dropping, but it was just exciting.
And John Anick and DC Daniel Cormier were there.
No way.
I saw Rogan post a picture of it, actually.
Yeah, yes.
There was a place called Gaetanos.
It was like in Henderson.
Henderson.
I love the name of places not, of Italian places not in New York.
You just name like Gaetanos or Paisons or New York Pizza.
And Dean Thomas and the guy Nick, I think was the owner of it.
Dude, they gave me a ravioli.
Yeah.
It was just like a fucking, it was like a shingle from the gods, brother.
Yeah.
Like a shingle fell off a roof of a of a home of one of the gods, a summer home, and just traveled through a cloud of sauce and landed right in my jaw, brother.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my god.
dude, you're very good actually at talking about food.
Really?
Yeah.
Like the way you were explaining that hash brown that potato the other day at breakfast, I remember saying, telling you at breakfast, you're good at explaining food.
Really?
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
You're very good at explaining food.
Ravioli is a nice little piece of cloud heaven.
I like a lobster ravioli.
That gets me going.
I don't even know what was in this.
That could have been anything.
They could have had ground up pieces of my sister in there.
I still would have loved it.
It was just so good.
It was so fucking good.
It was so good.
I couldn't even talk right after.
I couldn't even tell the guy how good it was.
I just suddenly, like, I just, you know, I was like my babysitter when I was young, you know, just at the bottom of the stairs, just yelling loud single syllables because blood wasn't going in my brain.
Oh, man.
Oh, it's very stroke victim rabbioli.
Did they just bring out stuff?
They brought out a few things.
Well, Rogan had been there over the years and he loved this place, right?
So he's like, I want to take you to this place.
And that's the Italian in Joe.
Like, I always, I do realize that.
Like anytime I've been in dinner with him, he's always the one like, no, try that.
Like that shit never leaves a real Italian.
No, that's my favorite.
I love forcing people to eat food that they enjoy.
It's a nice thing.
It's fun to see people react in such a way.
I love bringing them to places that they normally don't have.
I love doing it.
And yeah, Ruben is Italian Jersey, I believe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, Boston, maybe Boston, I think.
I don't think he grew up in Boston.
Yeah, I know he did comedy in Boston.
I'm pretty sure he grew up in Boston.
But yeah, like it's just fun, just fun.
Like, I'm sure his reaction was great.
So you having that lovely pillow of ravioli.
But there'd be times like if I'd be in the north of him, I'd be almost like scared, you know, like didn't know, like, you know, because it's like, those guys are like the UFC comedy.
I mean, they're like the dream team, probably like the greatest guy since like Brent Musberger and, you know, whoever else that guy, that Jim Valvano, whoever like some of, or Dick Innsberg, whoever some of those guys are.
I don't know.
Jim Valvano is a basketball coach.
Stud, though.
From the neighborhood.
I'm from Queens.
Really?
Yeah.
Corona Queens.
He's from Corona Queens.
But who are the great, great frick Jimmy V?
Legend.
There he was.
But I'm not going to think about the great announcers.
Vern Lunquist people love.
I love Sam Rose, and he used to do the New York Rangers.
He just retired this year.
He's a legend.
He's fantastic.
Who are some other classics?
I love the dude who does the horse racing.
I can't think of his name.
Larry Colemas.
He's a stud.
He's a stud.
That'd be my favorite sports call of all time was American Farrow, one of the Triple Crown.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm not even the biggest horse racing person.
It was just like it.
Can we hear that?
Yeah, I think he says like, American Pharaoh is finally the one.
And he does it.
He does it perfectly.
He's from the country?
I think he's from America.
I would guess.
Yeah.
I hope he's all right.
He's awesome.
He's great.
37-year wait is over.
American Pharaoh is finally the one.
Yeah.
American Pharaoh has won the Triple Crown.
Me and a bunch of my buddies were there.
We were like 19 years old.
We all, because we're 10 minutes from Belmont's from Belmont Park.
So we all went.
I have a video of it like on my phone, like a phone video of it that I still have.
It's sick.
But yeah, that was a cool experience to be at to see the first Triple Crown in 37 years.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's pretty incredible, huh?
Yeah, to witness something that's just so rare like that.
Yeah, it's funny.
It's funny too, because two years later, me and my friends also went and there was another horse, Justified.
We left before the race even happened.
And he did win the Triple Crown.
So we left before the next one because we already saw American Pharaoh.
Once you see that, you're good.
You don't have to.
And those days are, there's so many freaking people.
It's packed.
At those Belmont things?
Yeah.
There's so many people.
It was so hot.
So we were like, we got it.
Even to beat the traffic we got to get here.
It's just so packed.
It's such a packed event.
There's like 100,000 people at the park.
And it's like, it's like a lot of women that like it's like the new garden hats or whatever.
But now women will come in there with like the full guard, like an actual, you know, a quarter hectaker on their hat or whatever.
Like a UFO on their head or something.
Yeah, some brought over here, you know, growing grapes off the back of her ball cap or whatever.
And you're like, this shit is insane.
You know, it just gets a little too intense.
Or the woman.
Yeah, the lady of the hat's so big you can't even get near her.
You're like, well, who is that?
Can't even see your eyes.
Yeah.
But it tracks fun if you've been a good day.
Like, I like Saratoga.
Ever been to Saratoga?
Saratoga's awesome.
That's a real fun place.
It's upstate New York.
I think we have a show in Rochester or something.
Oh, really?
That's like, I think we're probably four hours after that.
Rochester's like up by Buffalo.
Oh, yeah.
I've had some good times when Rochester almost got hit by a vehicle out there.
For walking home, yeah.
That's where the Gronkowskis are from.
I think they're really.
Rochester birthed the Gronks.
Pretty sure of it.
Wow.
I just saw a beast he is.
Oh, yeah.
I just saw Rob the other day, man.
Yeah, so cool.
Interesting.
He's an unbelievable.
I've only been with him the one time we had him on the show recently, and that may have been up there for one of my favorite videos we've ever shot.
That's what Caleb says all the time.
Awesome.
What is Caleb like as a boss?
What is Caleb Press like a boss?
It is funny, as because, like, you like, he's one of my best friends, like, literally in the world.
So it's kind of odd that he's my boss now.
Sometimes he'll get mad at me every now and then.
Like, actually, the other day, we landed in LA.
Me and Kelsey landed and we were both like, you know what?
Let's go to Nobu Malibu for lunch.
Let's take a little ride up the Pacific Coast Highway.
And we went to Nobu Malibu and we were like, how quickly do you think Kayla's going to see this on our story and say, oh, spending that money, huh?
Like, spending that company money.
And then posted it.
And we were like, you know what?
We're going to do?
We're going to pay for this ourselves.
So when he says something, we have this in our back pocket.
And I wake up to a DM from him the next day.
He's like, he's like, oh, can't wait to look at this bill.
And I was like, hey, bitch, paid for it myself.
But we knew it was coming.
So it's sometimes like that.
That's the one thing sometimes that in the six months he's been my boss.
He's very good at like giving a disappointed, like, oh, I knew you were going to do this thing to me.
Oh, yeah, dude.
I've certainly been like that, I think.
And I mean, you have to.
Yeah, you totally have to.
Like, there's no reason we should be spending 120 bucks per person on lunch.
There's not a reason.
So we paid for it ourselves, but we knew he would say something, which he should.
But it's the way he's very good at like sounding disappointed in me.
And I hate when he's disappointed in me.
Yeah.
But also dinner lunching.
It goes back to that issue.
We were talking about that earlier.
When people are dinner lunching, it's like, what are you doing?
Like, you know, and it's, it's a blessing, I feel like, to be able to dinner lunch, like to have dinner at lunch.
Yes, of course.
Because that, like, no Buamabu, that's a dinner meal.
That's not a lunch meal.
Lunch should be a bowl, a bowl from Chipotle.
But yeah, and we did, and he immediately, he immediately got on us.
Not immediately, but that next night.
Yeah, well, it's his job.
If he's the, yeah, if he fucking has to look at the books, he's like, yeah, we're not paying a $400 lunch.
For the record, great boss.
Big fan of your work, Caleb.
Oh, yeah.
I owe that man my life.
I always say that.
Oh, well, yeah, dude.
You always are the best, man.
He really is the best.
He's one of the most entertaining guys there is right there.
Disappointed.
Yeah, he really is one of the best people in the world.
The good man lost to drugs, Bizzal Little Miss.
I think that was what Antonio Brown named the cracker of the year.
He was very jacked up on that.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
I love that.
I get that guy on my team, but he's the best.
I mean, him, seeing him, even just in person, the way he just talks normally, he's just so fucking funny.
Oh, so entertaining.
So unbelievable.
Like when I brought him to my house, he just kept telling me that.
He just kept telling me I was unconsensually Italianing him.
He just, he thinks of the most creative ways to communicate.
It's like he almost makes everything in like this fun puzzle kind of thing.
I mean, both of you do.
Like when I was sitting at breakfast the other day with you two, I'm like, what am I doing at this table with these two people?
They're too funny.
He is exceptional.
And he, that's sweet of you to say, man, he is exceptional to be around.
Every time I get around him, I'm like, fuck, I wish I could do whatever.
And truly, I would probably say one of my favorite people to just hang with.
He's such a great hang.
He's the best.
And I think that is, I always tell, I tell my mom this, I tell my friends this.
I think the best compliment one could get is, oh, that guy's a good hang.
And Caleb's great.
One of the best hangs.
Yeah.
He's the man.
Big fan of his work.
And I think he also thinks he's one of the funniest people in the world.
So he's on my funny master.
You're going to keep your job.
You guys are a tandem.
Well, look, I was asked.
You've eaten a lot of ice creams over the years.
Is that true?
I've actually, I have been whipped creaming recently.
I don't know if I should say this to the masses, but in order to hopefully stay in shape, I've been doing whipped cream recently.
In the bowl?
Yeah, I've been putting whipped cream in.
On Sunday Conversation, more whipped cream than ice cream?
Recently, I've been doing some whipped cream.
Yeah.
Cause it's just, it's two tablespoons of whipped cream is 15 calories.
And if I'm doing ice cream, I'm probably banging out like two pints.
And that's like 1,200 calories and so much fat.
It's horrible.
Yeah, it's absurd.
Like, I'm doing a big bowl and it's like two pints of like Ben and Jerry's.
It's a lot of food.
That's a crazy amount of sugar.
And if it's in front of me, I'm going to eat it.
So I need to put whipped cream in the meal, in the bowl.
Because if I'm sitting there for 45 minutes, I'm going to eat it.
So I've been trying to do whipped cream.
And hopefully it has not ruined the product of the show.
I don't think it has.
I don't think so.
I think that makes sense.
It's like, dude, you can't just be ODing over there.
You can't have so much sugar that your eyes won't open far.
And actually, I learned eating ice cream.
It's weird.
It's so much food, but it doesn't fill you up.
Like, I'll be hungry right after we're done, too.
And so it's basically just an extra 1,200 calories in the day for like not even like, well, what a dinner after.
I'll just eat a dinner.
It's a good point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, sugar doesn't really fill you up a lot of times, I feel like, especially dude, you know what I had the other day?
And we actually did do a commercial for them, I think, at one point.
It was these masa chips, M-A-S-A.
Did you get some of those?
Trevin?
I liked them too, man.
They're not cooked with seed oils.
It's kind of like just like more of like a tangible chip.
Yeah.
Seed oil-free to tortilla chips.
And at first I was like, oh, you know, these are, they're kind of like a hearty chip.
But then I had a couple.
I'm like, oh, it kind of fills you up.
It just doesn't feel like this addictive thing where you just eating like 2,000 chips.
Yeah.
You know, as soon as you open a bag of chips and it's just like every chip, it just has just enough nicotine on it or whatever to get you to the next.
Some stuff just gets you, dude.
Like a French onion dip.
If I have one dip of French onion dip, I'll sit there and eat it.
Really?
I love French onion dip.
I would never go near a French onion dip.
Always scared me.
Didn't understand it.
I'm like a Super Bowl party.
Like now I don't even let myself have one because if I have one, I'm in for 100.
It's French onion dip gets me big time.
There's some things I still get perverted over food-wise.
And ooh, I don't think I've ever had this packaged French onion dip.
Yeah, I don't, yeah, anything like those like cheese dips, all that kind of stuff for like at parties, those middle things in the middle.
The finger foods.
Yeah, that stuff always kind of creeped me out.
But the sandwiches that had the perfect amount of little mayonnaise, a little triangular, those ham on the white bread.
Oh, those dishes were good.
This may be just a food podcast now.
We're just talking food all day and I love it.
It's fine, dude.
Food's the best.
Well, it's never, well, they had those kids, the foodie boys.
Oh, the MD foodie boys?
They were legendary.
I just, I'm happy they're popping off enjoying their food, you know?
Yeah, and it's fun to be that age and just have something unique like that happen in your life for everybody.
Like, you know, maybe they're not athletes and maybe this is their sport.
Yeah, that's cool too.
On the left there, it says with Baltimore Ravens.
I know they're MD Foodie Boys.
That must be cool doing stuff with the Ravens facility.
Good for them.
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
Chub Perm delivering a speech.
Oh, it's perm.
That's what that comment says.
Chub Perm, I think.
I don't know their names.
That's cool.
Like getting to go to the Ravens facility and everything.
If you're not a Baltimore person.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's got to be fun, dude.
Getting to go to the Ravens facility.
Just anything to get you in out of the fentanyl streets over there.
What's up?
There's so many safe place to hide over there.
Their mascot should be like the fentanyl bird or whatever.
And he's just fucking doing the fucking Finny.
Oh, man.
What's one thing that you, like, when you did it, that a cool experience you've had that you said, wow, a child, the child version of me would absolutely go crazy for this right now?
Oh, man.
I think, oh, I got to do the seventh inning stretch at the Cubs game.
Oh, really?
That's awesome.
That's cool.
That was pretty crazy because it happened so fast and it was supposed to be a nice day and then cold weather came in and it was raining and stuff.
So it was kind of like a, you know, and then I was nervous and we'd had a late show the night before and then we just got into town and then the game got postponed by like two hours, just a lot of like little things.
You just keep pushing it back.
Yeah, but then they're like, yeah, they kept pushing it back.
And that was the time I was going to be able to go get a nap in or try and get to a gym or something to kind of get ready for the show that night.
But yeah, that was it.
That's cool.
I would have been absolutely terrified doing this.
Like, I don't know.
I don't even know how you.
Like, do you get nerfed for something like that?
Because you're a performer, obviously.
So do you still get some, you still freak you out?
Yes.
The two hour delay would have killed me then.
I would have been terrified.
It was terrifying.
So I'm like, well, what do I do right now?
Then I was like, well, I'll just go home and take a nap now.
And then we got back, barely made it up the stairs to get in there and Sing it.
You realize, first of all, right when you're about to do this, oh, it's not a song.
It's kind of just like a poem.
Oh, take me out to the ball game.
Yeah.
Take me out to the ball game.
A one, a two, a three.
Take me out to the ball game.
Oh, this is you singing?
I didn't realize it was you.
Are you trying to do like a Harry Carrey impersonation?
You can't sing it.
It's not a song, is it?
If I never get back to the root.
You know what's something I think you'll find hilarious?
Can you look up Mets' seventh inning stretch?
Lazy Mary?
Yeah.
So this is that.
They do this in the Mets games after Taking Noteblock and they played this, which is hilarious.
The whole crowd just does this.
It's unbelievable.
All right.
Let's start this.
This is the little Italian song in the Met Game every Met Game.
After the 7th Inning Strategy.
Every game does it.
And then they do a Billy Joel sing-along in the eighth inning, I swear to God.
And you can't see.
It's just like this little, like...
Yeah, yeah.
It's like the Italian hand emoji.
You're like, that's a thing every day.
Every game.
Every game this happens and then Billy Joel plays in the eighth inning.
That's hilarious.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah, I guess I should have done it better at the Cubs thing.
I would have tried to just do Harry Carrier Impression.
I feel like that's all it would have been.
But then you're like, I don't know.
There's so many little things going through your head.
And then you realize, okay, it's on and now these people can hear me.
And you're like, because you can't be like, take me out to the ballgame.
You know what I'm saying?
It's not a song.
It's a slow song.
You have to almost speak in slow motion.
Like, take me out to the, you can just kind of take me out to the ballgame.
Guys, like, take.
That's weird.
Let me buy you a drink.
T-Paint should do that.
Yeah.
Right.
You can't, you know what I'm saying?
If somebody did T-Paint like that, you're like, what do you, you know, it makes it a poem.
T-Paint should read you take me out to the ball game.
He's like.
In the bedlight.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Yeah.
It's just in.
So it was just like a lot of learning on the fly.
And then you're just grateful to be there.
And you don't want to mess up.
Like, you don't want to do something that's like going to disrespect the culture, you know?
Definitely.
And that's a big culture.
Cubs baseball in Chicago.
It's beautiful.
That's one of the best vibes you could possibly get.
A good day game, Chicago Cubs.
It's fantastic.
It's so awesome.
I used to go, my grandfather was a big Cubs fan and he'd watch all the games, you know, and he would smoke and then he had to get his toes cut off or whatever.
But he, we knew all the players, dude.
So you consider yourself a Cubs fan?
I think I was a Cubs fan for most of my life, probably.
I think at heart, I'll always be, you know, I want to see the dove fly, dude.
I want to see, you know, I hope they dig up Sean Dunstan and freaking, you know, find out who killed him or whatever, you know, if he's dead.
I don't know if he is.
That's an old player.
I don't know who Sean Dunstan is.
Oh, yeah.
I think he, yeah, it's just a rumor.
But yeah, no, I love, yeah, growing up with the Cubs, it's all I knew because it was like Midwest.
We would just collect them and the Cincinnati Reds and the St. Louis Cardinals.
I don't even know other teams existed, really.
Interesting.
Yeah, that's so cool, interesting to think about, too, like baseball.
I always say like people in Nashville, everyone's always wearing Braves stuff because I guess the Braves are just like the team of the South.
I wish I never really realized.
I wish they would get a WNBA team here.
I think I would get out and they announced an expansion today.
Not to Nashville.
To Cleveland, Detroit, and Philadelphia.
Ooh.
But literally today they announced that.
And me and my friends are saying they should bring one to Nashville.
I think this is the spot to do it.
Yeah.
Nashville would be awesome.
But yeah, I saw actually today Sophie Cunningham said, she just came out and said, I don't think anyone's going to be excited about Detroit and Cleveland.
But those are the three coming.
Yeah, I'm curious to see how much they'll like that.
I don't know.
I would have picked Nashville as one of the places that I would have picked.
If I had enough money, I would like to even invest in something like that.
But then that's also kind of crazy.
I could just be, you know, I just could just be too big of a Caitlin Clark, a Leah Boston fan.
So maybe I'll just, maybe it'll be an Indiana theater fan from afar.
Hey, we're champs this year, baby, in New York Liberty.
Y'all?
Our first championship ever.
One last year.
Oh, last year.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Dewey in the streets.
Stewie Beast, Dinescu.
That was so sick.
I used to go to Liberty games a lot.
Did you?
Yeah.
I remember there was one time, I don't even think anyone knows this happened.
One time the Liberty in like 2008 or something played a basketball game in the Arthur Ashe tennis stadium, and I went to it.
Wow.
Yeah, because my uncle used to work at the post office.
He would like run the group sales for the post office.
So we would always get tickets to everything, like for Ranger Games.
I'm a big Ranger hockey fan.
So I love the Rangers.
So that's how we would go to our Ranger games.
But then he got tickets to this.
They played in a tennis, in our tennis arena where they do the U.S. Open.
Oh, it's so cool.
And I went to that.
I used to go to, who's, I love Tina Charles.
Tina Charles was awesome.
She was a beast.
And yeah, I used to go to Liberty Games a lot.
But now they used to play at the Garden.
Now they don't play at the Garden.
They play in the Barclays Center.
And I never, Barclay Center is weird to get to.
Yeah.
It's in Brooklyn.
I've only been to the Barclays Center like five times in my life.
Yeah, it's fun.
People showed up for their parade last year.
Yeah.
I think it's pretty cool.
Yeah, I love watching.
I mean, I'm just such a fever fan.
I've gotten to like some of the other teams, you know.
I like the Valkyries or the expansion team this year.
They're doing well.
The Aces have kind of struggled.
So I think it's an exciting time in the league.
Caitlin Clark's kind of been in and out this year, though.
So she hasn't, I think their team is, I think, right at 500 right now.
They have a game tonight.
Yeah, I saw today they said the in-league players voted her the ninth best guard in the league, which is crazy.
There's some great guards in the league, though, too.
Yeah, WMA is fun.
Anytime sports are on, I'm more happy.
Yeah, because there's a guy, first of all, I'm like, I can't dunk, right?
So I can relate to all these women, most of them.
And if they can, I'm even like, get him out of here.
You know what I'm saying?
So that kind of is a little bit much.
I've always liked it.
I like college basketball.
It's fun to watch.
I like the women's college basketball, too.
I like watching Caitlin.
I mean, another thing that I love about her, she's also, whether she's, even while she's playing, she's also kind of coaching.
Like, she's just like on a couple different levels.
She's so competitive.
And I love Aaliyah Boston.
She's like one of my favorite players.
There's so many.
I mean, I could sit here and talk about the Indian fear for a long time, which is a little bit alarming.
It's so odd to think about.
I wonder how Caitlin Clark truly feels.
She's the whole league.
So it's kind of, I wonder how your mindset works in that frame of how you think.
Like you're technically bigger than your coach, like the owner of your team, everyone.
You're just the number one person in the league.
How that affects your mind when you're trying to play.
It's crazy.
She must do it well.
I believe that she must do it well because otherwise it would be a catastrophe.
And it doesn't seem like it is.
In fact, it seems like she's taken like the, she's made the correct choice at so many moments where she could have like spoken differently or fallen for a lot of traps out there.
I'm Trying to think any other league, if there's ever been someone that has meant so much to the league, like maybe like Wayne Gretzky in the NHL in the 80s.
I don't really even, I don't really even know.
Maybe Otani right now to the MLB.
It's interesting.
Yeah, who's meant so much?
Maybe Joey Chestnut.
Yes, if we're counting Joey Chestnut, if that is the answer.
You know what I'm saying?
He was out last year.
He didn't even do it last year.
Probably no one watched because he's trying to deal with a vegan hot dog company until they kicked him out.
Well, it was like Live Golf.
He went and played.
He went and played in Saudi Arabia.
He took that vegan money.
Yeah, dude.
And first of all, eating pork in a Muslim country, I think, doesn't even go over.
Well, but he's back to, oh, Tiger.
Speaking of live money, Tiger is obviously a big one.
Oh, there you go.
This year is extra special.
Also, this will be a 4th of July episode, man.
Have you ever been to watch him?
No, never in person.
I've never seen him in person.
I would love to.
I mean, he's a legend.
He's a beast.
But it's like going to that, like on 4th of July, I can never imagine going to Coney Island on the 4th of July.
It's like an hour away from me.
That just ruins the day for me.
It's like thinking about, oh, have you ever been to the Thanksgiving Day parade?
It's an hour away.
I'm on long island.
I'm not going to go ruin my Thanksgiving going to that parade.
I don't know how people do it.
What do you just to see balloons?
I think, and the weather is usually, the weather has not been good for that recently, I feel like.
But I think getting to go to, I mean, I guess, what do you go see?
Joe?
I mean, I guess maybe the kids want to go see it.
Maybe you've been married long enough.
You're like, oh, we'll go watch this honky eat or whatever, you know?
Like, I don't know, like, when do you do this?
But also to witness a man, does it still seem like these guys are eating?
I wonder.
Or does it seem like they're just processing?
You know what I'm saying?
That's what I start to look at.
I'm watching.
I'm like, are they really eating these things?
They're dipping them in water.
They're hiding them and they're fucking, you know.
Yeah, I almost wish they didn't let them do the water dip.
Like right there, we're looking at it.
Joey's eating the bread first and then just eating the actual hot dog itself.
I would like it if you had to authentically eat the hot dog.
Yeah.
I think it's like they'll make it more wholesome.
Just make it feel better, make it feel like it's happening the way it should be.
Because this does feel like it's not scientifically right.
Yeah.
And it doesn't make you want to go have a hot dog.
I think if I see 20 beautiful hot dogs on a platter, I see that, you know, they got a freaking Polynesian girl there, whatever, you know, thick Ruby or whatever they call you.
And they all have these crazy names, you know.
They're always like the beef viper or something, you know.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone has that.
They all have the crazy.
Then there's like huge guys, these fat guys.
And then the fat guys can't eat as good as poor Joey Chestnut.
It's wild.
Yeah.
Oh, there's always a big guy.
They just wheel him out there and like his nickname is like nougat or whatever.
You're like, oh, shit, here comes Nougat.
And he's like, he's like the world champion of raw shrimp.
Yeah, it's always, yeah.
So everyone's the raw champion in something different.
Yeah, like, oh, this guy ate 40 cans of Pringles, dude.
And, but if he's also in a neck brace, you're like, that kind of seems like it's cheating just based on the shapes of everything.
Oh, man, that's, that's.
He has like a neck brace with like an extended cab on, like, one of those African women.
You know, you're like, what's happening here?
Like, if people are removing their fucking ribs or whatever so they can like hide more food, it's like, what the fuck are we doing?
It's like the, yeah, it's the, what is it, Marilyn Manson story?
Did you ever have that, you ever hear that rumor, obviously?
That he got his ribs removed?
Yeah, he got his ribs removed.
That was a classic rumor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was all over schools, grade schools.
I'm one of, he's like my white whale to come on the podcast.
Really?
Interesting.
Why?
Marilyn Manson, the Pope.
And I borrowed one of Caleb's white whales.
Fat Joe.
Drake?
Caleb.
You guys haven't had him.
Ooh, who?
But he's always wanted him.
Oh, should I say it?
Yep.
Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice.
Yeah.
Beetlejuice is his number one.
We could say it two more times and he'd show up.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
There he is.
Yeah.
But what the fuck is that?
Ah, this Beetlejuice would be so amazing.
Yeah, he's like the black mate Diaz, I feel like.
He's just like, everything's kind of so crazy with him.
I think we've tried to get him.
It's impossible to get.
You can't get to him.
No.
His cousin, like, oh, we put in some cash with Caleb to try to, you know, see if he'd come on and even do something together, but he didn't want to do it.
Yeah, I think you said, I think one time Caleb was telling me, like, he lives with his sister and his sister won't let him on.
So you were trying to like get her, like she was like trying to get her a massage, like get her out of the house to then go in and do it.
Like under her nose.
Imagine he wanders up to your bed.
You're in bed.
He wanders up the side of your bed.
You can't even see him.
You just hear his voice and see his like little afro at the front because of he's so little.
I think Lily was trying to sneak into his house while his sister wasn't there to get Beetlejuice on the show.
He's only three foot six.
He's like, what are you doing?
He's like, what are you?
What am I doing?
What I'm doing.
He's always like, he's the only person who lives in like present and past and future juice at the same time.
He's the voice that we need in America right now.
You know what I'm saying?
He's kind of like the, I mean, I hate to say this, but he's kind of like the like kind of the special Obama, like the mentally, you know, irregular Obama.
He's such a God.
He's such a God.
Speaking of Howard Sterner, have you ever come across Artie Langer and met Artie Lang?
He's a stud.
I'm a big fan of his work.
Oh, yeah.
I haven't heard about him in years.
I would like to get to meet him.
Yeah.
He's one guy that walked by me one time and I was very, very starstruck.
Really?
Yeah.
I've been in the same room with him twice.
I didn't even come.
I'm like, when I'm a fan of somebody, I get too scared to even like talk to them.
I don't even say anything to him.
I just let him walk right by me.
But he's such a legend.
I love him.
He has this great movie, Beer League, that came out in like 2006 he made.
One of my favorite comedies ever.
And not many people know about it.
It's awesome.
What's it called again?
It's called Beer League.
It's a softball movie.
Him and Ralph Macchio.
And they're just these dudes in Jersey.
They have a softball team.
It's like my dad and all his friends loved it.
All my friends love it.
It's a hilarious movie.
And yeah, one of my favorites.
I love Vardy Lang.
Wow, that's cool.
Have you ever met Howard Stern?
No.
Yeah, me neither.
No.
I think he's like still in his basement.
Because he stopped doing his show for so long from in person.
He was like living in his basement for like three years because of COVID.
That's wicked.
Yeah, this will be for 4th of July.
I have to pee really big.
Do you?
I wouldn't mind peeing.
Okay.
Yeah.
Do you think you had a...
We both peed.
My penis.
Dude, I had freaking...
Yeah.
That may not be good.
And you're been doing that.
Touch, touch, touch.
So I feel bad about that a little bit.
Ah.
Whatever, man.
Yeah, how was your, you ever had a great Fourth of July that you really liked?
A great Fourth of July.
I mean, honestly, this is going to sound sappy, but I love just hanging out with my pals.
Like, I got great friends.
I love hanging out with them.
My buddies, my best friend Johnny's grandpa used to do a sick 4th of July party every year.
And he has like really nice housing on the water on Long Island.
He would get like a professional oyster shucker, like cigar cutters.
I think there was a Frank Sinatra impersonator one year.
Of course.
I'm pretty sure there was one year.
He's got his boat going in there.
Just hanging out in the water with the boys.
That's good enough for me.
That's a real, real good day for me.
That is a great day.
Yeah, some drink right on the water, just some drinks.
Like truly, I do think I'm happiest in my life when I'm having a few drinks and just in the water, just floating in the water.
It's the greatest.
And any 4th of July could do that.
It's nice.
Just pool, friends, family.
Yeah, do you remember when we went to Jimmy John's summer camp last year and we got to just sit in that place?
You guys were having some drinks in that circle.
We sat in that thing for like five hours.
It was unbelievable.
That was like, that's my ideal day.
Just sitting in the water is like, I'm trying to picture how we could even describe it.
It was like a disc, it was a disc float.
And then in the net, and the netting is like where we sit.
So it was almost like an aquatic pouch that we were sitting in.
Yes.
And we just laid in there for five hours, like literally all day.
And it was fantastic.
It's like a kiddie pool that'll kind of that's bigger than that, though.
It's like stronger sides and it'll kind of float around in a lake or something.
I was the fit in there.
That was also the first time I jet ski was with you.
I was very scared.
I was very scared.
I'm really worried about jet skiing because if I fall off a jet ski, I'm scared and won't be able to get back up.
And then I'm just going to be stuck in the lake, which I don't want to do.
But that was my first time ever jet skiing.
Dang, that's crazy, man.
It's a freeing experience, but they go fast.
They go real fast.
They go way, first of all, way too fast.
Exactly.
And I'm a pussy.
I can't do stuff that fast.
I'm horrible at that.
I'm really scared of falling off the jet ski.
So I don't know if I'll do it again this year.
I probably will.
Yeah, I don't think I'm a pussy.
I just don't think that I'm a, I'm not also not a magician or like a televangelist or whatever it is.
Like, you know, I'm not like a, what are they called?
Like, I'm not like a punt return of those guys.
You were speeding around on that thing.
Well, yeah.
You were making moves.
You were hustling.
You were on the other end of the lake before I even moved.
You were buzzing.
It gets going.
You were in Minnesota.
We started in Wisconsin.
Definitely, dude.
I was crossing state lines on that thing.
You really were.
It was impressive.
You could hear the walleye getting nervous, brother.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of a good.
Oh, dude, I remember this 4th of July when I was a kid.
So this 4th of July, I had went to my friend.
His parents took me to their, they had a beach.
They had like rented a place in Orange Beach or something down there in Alabama.
And it was like, if you grew up in the South, like if you went to Florida or Alabama, like Orange Beach, any of those places, like Panama City, if you went to one of those places, that was like going to the beach, dude.
It was like very nice.
So anyway, I went and they had blueberries.
I'd never had blueberries.
I'd never seen blueberries, right?
So I was probably, I'm probably 13 years old, right?
I'd seen like blueberry muffin, but I didn't know you could just have blueberries like by themselves, like freelance, like just like a little square, like a small rectangle thing of just completely naked blueberries.
Independent blueberries.
Yes.
I got you.
Independent blueberries.
And I'd never, and I tried a couple of them and I was like, oh my God, they're so good.
So I ate probably two of these little cage fulls of blueberries, right?
So later I am, I was like, I'll just sleep out on the balcony, right?
Because I didn't want to sleep inside because there was a lot of people standing over.
They had like family friends and stuff.
And I started getting like, I don't even know how to say it, like pretty much like diarrhea or something.
Blue diarrhea.
I mean, I got like my stomach had never had this before.
And so it was like, it loved it, but it also, it had way too much.
I had probably, I bet I probably had 440 blueberries.
So, dude, I was in, I ended up just diring off this balcony, like at a side angle, because it was just flying out of my body.
Off the balcony.
Yeah, just misting off this balcony, dude.
There was nothing else I could do.
And I had to wash my legs with like a towel and a thing of water.
And like, it was horrible, dude.
Are you, can you eat blueberries now?
Did that kill blueberries for you?
No, I mean, it took me a while to get back, you know, to get back around to them.
But, you know, it was kind of like, you know, yeah, at some point I gave him a second chance, but that was like one of the craziest things that happened.
I remember was on 4th of July.
Cause I remember that some of them had been used to make like the cake, the 4th of July cake.
They'd been used for the stars on the cake.
Yes, when people do that.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Interesting thing.
Yeah, blueberries.
I don't know how I feel about them, but 4th of July, great day.
It still made me nervous, dude.
I remember it was happening so fast.
I had to like kind of hold.
I was laying on my side and the balcony rails were going up, up and down.
You know what I'm saying?
I had to like hold onto one of the rails with both of my hands, dude.
And you got to like stick your ass through one of the holes.
Yeah.
Or like try to just get it close.
It was horrible.
Oh, it feels so bad.
And there was like a night security guy down there or whatever.
Like every now and then his flashlight would shine out.
What are you shining your flashlight up here?
Like a bunch of, like, like you're getting attacked by like a big shit bat or whatever.
What a bad day for him.
You can make him deport himself.
Oh, dude.
He was very old.
I bet he'd even notice.
Yeah, especially, I mean, if you're a security guard in Panama City Beach, you've seen worse.
And it was like 300 feet of distance between me and him.
So if anything, he was getting like a dusting, like something you put on French toast, you know?
That's the worst, man.
I hate having a poop.
So annoying.
Well, I thought the other day, what if we didn't have to poop?
Like, I know it's like a side effect of being alive or whatever.
But imagine if we didn't, you could eat as much as you want.
Or if it, if it never left your body, you could only have a couple things in your whole life because it would build up too much.
Ooh.
And carry around the whole life.
I'd rather poop.
I would need to eat.
I need to have all of that.
But just so much anxiety, like when you're out at a restaurant or something.
Yeah, I got to do this.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it's so scary.
Like, my body usually lets me Know if I have to poop at it when I'm at home.
Oh, really?
I think so.
Nice.
Like, I recently only, the last few years, I've only become one that can poop in public.
I've always been a home pooper.
Yeah.
But now I've learned to do outside as well.
Wow.
Yeah.
Not outside, but like.
And do you remember the first place you ever vacationed or whatever?
Ooh, first vacation.
No, that you took a poop outside.
I mean, oh, not, I'm not saying outside.
I'm just saying like outside of the home, right?
Sometimes, yeah.
The first place you took like a little, like, I'm always fine with like hotel.
I mean, I got like a restaurant with a gas station.
I think it was like a gas station in Alabama.
We were doing some sort of road trip for, um, it was called Barstow versus America.
And it was like a 10-city road trip.
And we were on RV.
So literally, we had to.
So that was, that was when I learned how to do it.
It was like, but backwoods, Alabama gas station.
And it was kind of, it was, it was fine.
We got through it.
You know, not poop shame.
No.
Yeah, I think especially like you just have to realize that everybody's doing it, you know?
You have to, you really, really do.
But it's kind of crazy that everybody's doing it.
I still don't believe it.
You know, it's crazy.
Yeah, it's just as crazy as thinking that 260 million chickens are killed each day.
It's, it's, I do like to do it, though.
It's awesome.
But I never think of anyone else doing it, you know?
Like maybe one night, me and you were at dinner one night and let's say go to the bathroom for five minutes.
Is he freshening up or is he pooping?
Yeah.
Well, the craziest thing is if you like, say you go, like, if you have to, if you try to poop at a high speed because you don't want people to think you're in there doing a number two, right?
Exactly.
That is very taxing on the system, I think.
Look that up.
Is it even okay to kind of shit at high speed or whatever?
Yeah, I need to like chill for a few minutes.
It's very hard to get in and out.
I need to chill.
Well, yeah, because if you like pooping fast, meaning having a bowel movement quickly is not inherently bad.
In fact, it can be a sign of a healthy digestive system as long as it's not accompanied by discomfort or other concerning symptoms.
Normal transit time, a bowel movement should ideally take a couple of minutes with minimal straining.
Okay.
But right.
But okay, then how long does it take to urinate in a restaurant or whatever?
I'm going to say two minutes.
But that, the pooping just said, let me see, 15 to 30 seconds to empty their bladder.
What?
Where'd you get your bladder from, dude?
Austin Powers SP.
30 seconds is a lot of pee.
And I'm trying to pee more.
30 seconds is a lot of pee?
You think it's less?
That's not.
Dude, I will rat, I blatantly, I casually will piss for fucking 70 seconds.
I just heard you had a nice dream.
That was a nice dream for like a few minutes.
That was nothing.
I could still cry after that.
I could pee so much that I can't cry for an hour.
Really?
Oh, I'm a quick pee or then, I think.
I'll put it all out.
I don't even, I'm very, I love to, I think, pee.
And so I won't even wear underpants that are really tight anymore because I don't want that added outside influence on all naturale.
Yeah, because it'll kind of like tighten around your bladder, you know?
I don't like that.
I like to pee as God wants, as I want.
You ever done a poop on a plane?
Sure, I have.
Not one that stands up.
It's just so compartmentalized, you literally feel like you're playing hide and go seek and having a shit at the same time.
Yeah.
You know, you're just kind of like, That's what came into my brain immediately.
That's going 400 miles an hour.
That's a top speed.
It's about as fast as you could go in the world.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
It is crazy.
Planes are crazy.
How did someone even come up with the idea for a plane?
How did the Wright brothers even do that?
And in like 90, what did they make it in?
Like 1920?
It was fun.
But the planes were hitting.
A lot of people died right out of the gate.
Like there were like seven Wright brothers and we only know about two of them.
Is that actually true?
Right there.
1903?
Yeah.
So why did someone, why did people even get on the Titanic?
There were planes nine years before.
I don't know.
That's a great question, dude.
Oh, my God.
That was nine years before the Titanic.
Yeah, that's unreal.
If you just hold out one more year, there'd be a decent flight over there.
Can you just look up the first transcontinental flight?
Because now I need to see when we finally crossed the flying right above the Titanic.
That's so.
You know what's another weird, crazy thing to think about?
You know the Hindenburg?
That was a blimp that just came here from Germany.
They blimped from Germany.
1911.
This is before the Titanic.
The first transcontinental flight across the United States was made by Calbreth Perry Rogers in 1911, taking 49 days with numerous stops and crashes.
That doesn't sound like a successful flight.
It took 49 days to get out of the way.
You went from Sheep's Head Bay, Brooklyn.
Well, how anything taken off out of Brooklyn is questionable, dude.
There's a lot of Haitians over there in the park these days at Williamsburg.
There's a reason both airports are in Queens, LaGuardia and JFK.
Oh, there's a lot of Haitians selling sex in the park over there that Biden let in.
That's what I heard.
I believe it.
Oh, man.
That's a fun fact.
Oh, yeah, I just saw this the other day.
Wi-Fi routers now tracking motion.
Xfinity's new feature.
Since the start of the year, Xfinity, a major Comcast brand for telecommunication services in America, has been notifying users about a useful new feature, Wi-Fi Motion.
It allows turning internet devices into motion sensors that monitor movement at home.
I believe it.
I believe it.
The other day, I was in one of those Waymos.
You ever been to Waymo yet?
No, I've been in.
Self-driving cars.
I was in one in Santa Monica, and they have sensors around them that literally the screen in the car, it not only tracks the cars around you, it tracks the people on the street.
So like if you're at a stop sign and people are crossing the street, you see little tiny people on the map crossing.
Like it mimics their movements.
I guess it must be some sort of the same technology as that.
It's fucking terrifying.
Yeah, that sounds super terrifying.
They have that too in Tesla's where you can see the people.
And even if it's a guy with dreadlocks, something you see that.
It's kind of crazy.
Like if it's a person carrying a bag or something.
But the idea, like I guess, what are the concerns about this?
It says, how does it sense motion?
Wi-Fi signals travel between the router and other Devices and anything between them can disrupt the signal.
Wi-Fi signals bounce around, and the sensing area is not a straight line but an oval between the two devices.
So it's like if you pass, like you know, it'll just be able to know where you are in your home.
That seems really scary.
I guess it could kind of maybe be good for not health reasons, but if people suddenly die, like if they stop moving out of the blue, maybe they could pick that up.
That's a good point.
You know, like if someone trips and falls or something, like an old person can't get up, like at least notified, maybe that would be a good thing.
But how many people are going to forget this even happens?
They probably have it activated already in their homes.
They don't even know it.
And then there's some dude at a call center somewhere outside of outside of Toledo and he's just watching some hologram lonely dude just jerk off for like 600 times.
He's walking the silhouette and just go up and down.
I mean, let him have fun.
I know.
Let boys eat.
And then he streams that to like India or some other country where they, you know, and then he, you're basically being live streamed.
The hologram of you is being live streamed out.
It's just like, I don't know.
Everything's just getting too crazy, dude.
Yeah.
Technology, I'm out on it.
I'm not a big fan of it.
I mean, it's, it's scary.
Like we just had to wear these meta glasses.
We wore meta glasses to the UFC fight.
That's what y'all were doing.
It was great.
But the technology on them are, it's unbelievable what it does.
It's crazy.
Like they were telling us there's a feature that it could, like if you were talking Spanish to me right now, it could translate it in my ear to me.
Yeah.
That's wild.
It's crazy.
The stuff that people are making is crazy.
I mean, you have a cyber truck.
That must be, you still have that, right?
That must be insane.
Oh, it's like driving it.
I mean, dude, it's faster than an email sometimes.
When you floor that thing, it's like, dude, you feel like literally you could send an email, run, get in it, and drive to a place that you, that you emailed and see if you got there right now.
You can intercept the email.
Yeah, yeah.
It's crazy.
It's something.
Yeah, it's like you could fucking land in somebody's inbox before a JPEG for sure.
Yeah, but I think it's all just scary.
And there's no protection for us.
That's the scariest thing.
There's like, I don't think our government wants to protect us at all.
Yeah, the AI stuff too.
AI is getting to the point where the new villain in Mission Impossible is AI.
That's literally the villain in the new Mission Impossible.
I think in so I watched the last one.
I haven't seen the new one yet.
I watched the last one on plane.
And the villain, because it's a two-part movie, this is the second part that just came out.
The villain is AI.
He's literally an AI villain.
Like, what do you mean when he's an AI villain?
Like, he's a, well, like, like, what do you mean by that?
It was.
Like, he's a computer?
Yeah.
So the first scene, I think it's these guys on a sub, these army guys on a submarine.
And there's this, there's this, um, I think it's maybe the Russians or something.
They made this AI system and the system overrides it and like becomes its own entity and like kills.
Like they're sending out a missile and then the system sends the missile back into them.
So all those dudes die.
And then it's like, it's this AI thing.
It's like a AI monster.
It's wild.
Fuck.
To the point where it's a mission impossible villain.
Oh, it's definitely the point where all these like all like these like tech guys, right?
They're all like trying to platform.
Like I think they're all going to, they want to put chips in it.
It's all going to get to the point where we, they all own and we're, they use us as their robot.
That's what's starting that.
Like that's where I believe that things kind of seem like they're going because you have a few tech companies.
They're going to start to own everything.
Yeah.
So we're, we're all going to be, and they do, they do too many insane things.
Like my buddy Tommy, Tommy Smokes, this great guy, he fucking puts in obituaries for me on AI and they send out like an obituary for myself.
It's, it's terrifying.
I don't want to see my obituary.
When does it say?
What does it happen?
They had me doing, I forgot what it was.
It was Vegas.
It was something in Vegas, though.
What month?
Oh, you died in Vegas?
No, that was like, oh, it was found in his hotel in Vegas, I think.
And so like, I'll send it to you.
He sent it to me.
They made a long huge obituary.
Damn.
For myself.
January.
Yeah, that's when I want to go.
Not this January.
Really?
Yeah, because it's always a tough month, kind of.
I feel like a lot has been fun.
And then you're kind of figuring out the new year.
Maybe football month.
That's a good point.
I think the worst month, which I wouldn't mind going.
I like to enjoy a summer.
So maybe.
I don't really know.
I love every month.
Yeah, you're right.
It's hard to find a bad month.
Maybe April.
April's kind of, yeah.
I think you're right.
There's not much happening in April.
Yeah, we're waiting for the next thing.
February.
When I say, oh, how's the new whip, man, from OnlyStans?
Didn't you get a new car?
Yeah, well, it lives at Caleb's.
It's Caleb's, but I gave it to Caleb.
Well, it's this.
So it's literally a, it's a moak.
So it's like a baby between a Jeep and a golf cart, basically.
Okay.
So it's a little tiny car and the lovely lady lives in Florida that got it for me, Bryce Adams.
So I originally was planning on, I originally was planning on driving it back to Caleb's and just leaving it at Caleb's.
And then you can't even drive on the highway with it.
I didn't realize like how slow it is.
It's like only goes 25 miles an hour.
So driving from her house to Caleb's house would have taken legitimately probably like eight hours.
And it's just super slow.
It's very slow, but it's awesome.
I honestly, me and Caleb have not been in Del Rey in so long.
I haven't been able to drive it in a while.
But yeah, it lives at Caleb's house now.
So this girl really just bought that for you.
Yeah.
It was pretty awesome.
It was definitely pretty awesome.
And it's always been one of my dreams to own those things.
Like they're, they're so sick.
The one problem is I definitely underestimated how slow they are.
They're very slow.
But driving around in it, driving around Del Rey Beach in it, put some tunes on, it's a fantastic little vibe.
Go to the beach.
I've gone to the beach with it twice so far, and it's fantastic.
But yeah, there's really no way I could even get it to New York.
I don't even know how I would go about getting it to home.
And it wouldn't play well at home.
Because we have a great little beach town by us, but I'm like 20 minutes from the beach.
So I can't even bring it there.
So I think leaving it at KOBS is perfect.
And then whenever I'm in Delray, I could enjoy it and play with it.
And it's amazing.
And it's a beautiful, beautiful car.
I love it.
Yeah, it's really neat looking.
Looks like kind of a G-Wagon kind of, but it's like a small G-Wagon.
Yeah.
My one problem, though, is I couldn't figure out the seats for the longest time.
So I was driving around very uncomfortably.
I was like scrunched up in the middle of it.
Now I eventually figured it out, though.
And it's awesome.
Got Bluetooth hooked up in there.
It's a great vibe.
It's just a good vibe for sure.
But then they'll be able to own it, dude.
In a couple of, like in a year from now, say you want to go somewhere, but then the AI decides you can't.
They're like, nah, come back.
You're out.
You feel working one hour.
You have to.
I'm just like, that's what starts to scare me.
You think I'm being scared too much, Glenny?
I don't think you're being scared.
I mean, everyone freaks out about AI.
AI is terrible.
Like, when you have this entity of a computer that could be its own being, it's scary.
Like the other day, actually, I was walking around in Santa Monica.
I walked past a Tesla store and they had the robot in the window.
And it was creepy to see.
Like, you are, that's movie shit.
That's movie shit.
You don't see movie shit in real life.
Seeing that robot in that window was terrifying.
Yeah.
I don't need robots.
Yeah, just like, God, I thought we were having a decent time and everything's fucking getting wet.
I just don't understand.
And some people have the robots like in their house.
I don't know if I could live in a house with a robot.
How could you live in a house with a robot?
You know, it's listening.
The fucking Wi-Fi is now listening.
The Wi-Fi now knows where you're moving around.
Can you imagine waking up one night, middle of the night, and just in your room?
Just there.
The robots in there?
Yeah, I'm saying, I'm saying sitting up smoking.
Imagine you wake up.
It's had three ANW root beers and you're like, where do you, it's an abusive robot?
Yeah.
No, I can't.
And it's upset about it because it lost at the freaking horse track.
You know what I'm saying?
There's just so many people that are like, what is going to happen?
I'm out.
I'm out.
I think we're good, though.
But the robots.
No, we're good.
I think our lifetime may, I think we'll be good with the robots.
I'm thinking like 200 years down the line, we may be like when they're in society, kind of.
I'm just scared, man.
Even like that Xfinity thing, say like that they can like know where you're at in your home, right?
Just so they know, they know, right?
And you're right.
If you're an old person, you fall in.
I think that's one immediate pro.
Right.
That thing is great.
But if you are, you don't want to go to work, right?
And you say you're sick, but you're not.
You're just at home building like one of those houses, a car or something, doing some fun thing, doing a puzzle or something.
And they're like, we know you're not sick.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it could get to that point where it's just like, you can't even lie.
You know, it would be nice to not be able to lie, but it's also fun to be able to just make a puzzle sometimes or be by yourself.
Yeah, we can have Wi-Fi ratting on us.
That's what it crosses.
That's what you would have.
I don't want Wi-Fi ratting on us.
No, we got to be able, you got to be able to do what's in the comfort of your own home in the comfort of your own home without the Wi-Fi checking us out.
Yeah.
Or if you said a bad word or something, we'll report you.
Ooh.
I'm down on it.
Someone said in the 400 block, in the 400 block of Long Island.
Hey, what happened at Long Island, that Long Island serial killer?
ever cross paths with him?
No, but he legitimately...
Literally, the house was around the block.
It's 20 minutes from my house.
Like my favorite Cajun restaurant is, he's right next to my favorite Cajun restaurant.
This place, Big Daddy's, he's four minutes from.
So it's terrifying to think about.
He was doing, I just watched a three-part documentary on it that came out last week.
He was just doing like a New York City commute every single day.
I would actually, I would almost say it's not crazy that me and him have probably been on like the same train together or something before because he was doing the, I'm on that same train line and he was doing the commute to and from New York for 20 years.
So I would venture to guess we were probably on a train together at some point, which is very, very scary to think about.
He's 20 minutes from my house and that documentary is, it was, it was on Peacock, I think.
It was a very, very, very interesting watch.
The Gilgo Beach serial killer.
Yeah, like this is, so where he dumped every, all these bodies at Gilgo Beach.
This was my COVID drive every Friday during COVID.
Like there was nothing to do.
I would just take this ride down the beach.
Like it's like a 40-minute drive from my house.
And I didn't even realize this is where all the bodies are.
It's scary because there's no businesses.
There's nothing there.
It's really just a beach and a few houses.
And it's a one-lane highway.
And that's where he dumped all those bodies.
It's terrifying.
That's crazy.
It almost doesn't even cross my brain of how, of how simulated, how simulated he was into like life.
Like I did, I've did that drive every Friday during COVID.
Right.
And imagine you're driving.
It's hard enough to even pull over to change a tire or something, like, especially on a busy road.
And at night, there's got to be, he's got to, I mean, he did it.
There's probably no one around.
And the only thing you're surrounded by is water, really, because it's a one-lane highway.
It's two lanes each way.
What a crazy world to live in.
Yep.
Did you see, I don't know if it's too much dark of a topic, but I've really been keeping up with it.
Did you see that Coburger guy took a plea deal today?
So he's just not going to get the death penalty.
He's going to go to jail for the rest of your life.
Yeah.
I'm not a fan of him.
I don't like that very much.
Oh, I think that's unbelievable.
I think that the parents, I think there's a video.
They asked the father what he thought about one of the parents.
Yeah, the parents are definitely mad about it.
They are.
Yeah, but I actually, I'm don't, it's hard to say when you're out in that position, but I almost think a life of prison would be worse than death penalty.
Oh, well, here's what I think he's going to get killed in prison pretty quick.
I would think so, too.
And that's way worse than a final squad.
I think we're ought to say, hope he gets killed in prison.
I don't like him very much.
He's a yeah, I believe that.
I mean, I'm a proponent of the death penalty.
I believe that he, I believe that, yeah, because here's the thing.
It's like we're wandering around with Satan and pure evil amongst us, right?
I know that people make mistakes and things happen, right?
That I understand.
But sometimes we're wandering around with pure evil, right?
And we're like, hey, maybe we should see how pure evil feels on a witness stand for seven years.
I don't give a fuck.
If it's pure evil, why don't you tell me that, Xfinity?
Tell me, just tell me who's pure evil.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't think we would ask AI that because I think it would probably turn immediately on a lot of its creators.
That one was about as bad as it gets.
I've been keeping up with that for the whole time.
I don't know why that really struck with me.
It's the Cobra Wars.
It's scary.
Oh, it's so terrible.
Because somebody wasn't.
And I've seen the pictures of them.
They're just normal college kids.
That's like.
Just a crazy night out of the town, it seemed like.
Yeah.
Normal Friday, Saturday night, whatever it was.
Come home, and they're probably all still drunk.
And then they just wake up and this fucking nut job is here.
And the guy looks like a Satan, like a partner of Satan or buddy of Satan.
It's like, we keep acting like these people that look like Satan aren't Satan.
Like, I love how people are like, oh, that guy looks like he's not doing well.
That guy to me looks like a Satan guy.
He's horrifying.
That was, I was like, it was a...
And didn't the DoorDash lady see him?
I don't know.
Because I think it's seen.
And it's so terrible, too, because I don't know who saw him.
I think he snuck in and then he went.
I don't know which child he went for first.
It's so scary.
But that was, it was interesting to see How the police did that work because I remember everyone was freaking out, like, where is he?
Where is he?
Where is he?
And meanwhile, they were tracking him for like two weeks, which was awesome.
Like, they got him in fucking Pennsylvania that they knew, and he also did a horrible job at it.
I mean, they were seeing what he was up to trying to get.
Yeah, everyone's like, oh, where is this guy?
Where's this guy?
And they knew the whole time.
So, and then he, yeah, because he also left that knife sheath there, too.
Yeah, that was, that was a creepy stuff.
Because it's so scary because so many times you've gotten home, it's been drunk with your friend.
What's going on?
You wake up, you don't even know.
Things are scary enough you can barely remember.
Yeah, and then everyone was freaking out about it because there are other two girls that were in there didn't say anything.
Like, they were, I guess, like caught up in their rooms.
They were probably obviously scared shitless.
One of them saw him, I think.
It's crazy.
Yeah, all the little things that happen, man.
It's so heartbreaking.
Just the pain that the families go through.
And then I bet there's a weird part where you want to never have it be in the media, but at the same time, like you almost get addicted to watching the story unfold because you have, it's all that's there of your child still in a weird way, you know?
I don't know.
That might sound crazy.
Does that sound crazy?
I don't think so.
You're saying of people talking about it in the news.
Right.
Because you want your child to be alive.
So it's like the fact that their name is.
That's bringing awareness to people about it.
It's like, I don't know.
But yeah, that was a story that really stuck, cut me deep.
It was terrifying.
I did not like that.
Yeah.
Obviously.
Well, it's just like, yeah, how long are we, do we just live amongst evil and pretend that we dudes like that and the dudes like this here, like the Long Island Gilgo beach killer?
Yeah, it's like we were saying, like, I would venture to guess I've been on a train with that guy.
I would not be shocked if I somehow could look us, yeah, I could look up our train records.
I bet we've been on the same, let's say, train or cross paths.
What if you sat there next to him, huh?
I actually saw a clip of a girl saying she was on the train.
He like came and sat next to her one day.
And she was like, I remember that guy.
And he was like, he said something very weird to her.
And then she just got off the train.
But even thinking about that, like that, that woman too is like just had a little brush with true evil.
Yeah, I met a dude one time who his mom had rejected the who was the guy that killed everybody at Florida State?
Not Dahmer.
Ted Bundy was that?
Yeah.
I didn't know Ted Bundy was Florida State.
Yeah, Ted Bundy.
Ted Bundy.
At the end of his whole deal, he killed some people at Florida State at a sorority house.
I think that's where they bought, after that, they busted him.
But somebody had escaped him.
Like, dang.
Yeah.
Scary to think about.
Even Son of Sam.
I remember my parents always tell me this in like 1977.
They say it was like the Summer of Sam.
There's a Spike Lee Man movie about it even.
There was one time in the summer, the whole city went blacked out.
And he was like free.
People knew there was a serial killer.
The whole city had a blackout.
And they said the whole city was freaking out because no one knows where he is.
No one knows who he is.
It's 1977.
There's no lights.
Like my dad said, like him and his friends, like walking around with like bats, like just like trying to trying to find him.
Like they're just going to find the son of Sam.
But yeah, they said that was like one of the scariest days ever.
That's so sick.
And also crazy to think this guy, he's 24.
You did this when he's 24.
You think the guy's like 24 years old?
Yeah, first of all, yeah.
If I saw this dude, I would immediately be like, hey, this dude's a serial killer.
Yeah, he was a nut.
He claimed that he was like talking to his neighbor's dog and his neighbor's dog made him do it.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, a lot of times when people are like, God, I think that guy's a serial killer.
Well, hey, check it out and see if he is.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You should be allowed to investigate a little bit.
Yeah.
Can Infinity pick that up for us?
How about this, Infinity?
Tell us where the fucking serial killers are.
That would help everybody out way more.
You know, so that will be one more bonus of that whole thing.
Yeah, that's an interesting thing then.
Could it actually, like all seriousness, could that help with crime?
A lot, I would assume, right?
Oh, well, I think one of the reasons that they're even doing like all this ICE stuff where they're deportations and that sort of thing, we're about to get into a surveillance state, right?
And so you wouldn't even be able to be like technically illegal in America anymore.
Like you can just see how they're just getting all the paperwork done.
Like you wouldn't, because we're going to show that soon there'll be drones in the sky.
There'll be things.
There'll be a new system that is just monitoring us at all times.
Know every know everything.
It'll know everything.
Yeah.
Right.
I mean, we're already granting that access to technology, right?
There was a part in the big, beautiful bill.
I think it just, I don't know if it passed both houses or the Senate and the Congress, but U.S. Senate passes Trump's sweeping tax and spending bills setting up house battle.
So that's going to be interesting.
J.D. Vance was the tying vote or the tiebreaking vote, I guess.
I think this is a bad bill after from what I've learned.
Yeah.
I don't know much about it, honestly.
Yeah, it's okay.
And I'm sorry for bringing it up.
No, no worries.
But I don't think that it's, you know, I learned one thing about these bills.
There's these things called omnibus bills, right?
So instead of there just being like one bill, and so everybody votes on it, like, hey, what do you think about this higher taxes for this tax bracket?
And you'd be like, everybody could vote no one or everybody could vote yes.
But they'll be like, what do you think about this?
And that's just, that would be one bill.
But an omnibus bill is a bunch of bills at once.
So it's like, what do you think about this higher tax bracket?
But also, what do you think about we give extra stipends to people that served in the military?
So you only get to vote yes or no, though.
Oh.
So that's how they get it.
So it's got to be a two for one if that's how they get the things they want.
Right.
If you hear the military, you're like, oh, I want to vote for that, but then you're also voting for the other thing.
Yeah.
Interesting.
And there's like seven or eight of those sometimes in a bill.
And there could be, I don't even know how many, but sometimes there's a lot.
And then if, say, you or somebody that votes against it, you're like, I'm voting no because I don't want my people to have higher tax.
Sure, it is going to affect this thing of the military.
But then the other campaigns will run commercials against you.
He voted no on money for the military.
I could hear those, yeah, all those shitty local political commercials.
They don't say in that commercial, he voted yes on saving his people from like raising taxes.
So that's how it's all done, dude.
It's this whole fucking tricky system, and it's called omnibus bills.
And anyway, I just learned about that.
So it's bad.
I forgot.
Yeah, I never knew it either.
Because it always seems like, well, why wouldn't they, you know, because nothing ever gets done.
That's because that's why I probably pay attention to it.
Nothing happens.
Dude, shit's so bad.
Joey Chestina had To come back to fucking America, he had to stop making his vegan money, yeah, dude.
Bro, he had to come back and fucking start slurping dogs again, dude.
Oh, man, he was at a Fanatics Fest last week, killing it.
Was he?
Did you see him?
Did you guys go?
Yeah, we went to Fanatics Fest.
We had, we went with Meta again.
We were rocking our glasses, and he had Todd Graves had him do a, it was Todd, Livby, Dunn, and Druski against Joey Chestnut in a chicken tender eating contest.
In a Keynes contest.
Joey Chestnut's laps celebs in chicken eating contests.
Sorry, Libby.
Yeah, I don't even know how many.
Oh, and they had DJ Khaled, too.
He was against DJ Khaled as well.
Oh, dude.
You'd think he'd take one of those fucking wings out of his mouth for a second and speak up for his home country, but no, that's just who he is.
Go on.
That's a funny image of DJ Khaled looking at him in disbelief.
He could have taken those 10 D's.
He doesn't have to dip those 10 Ds.
Well, that's the whole thing, man.
Dipping it into.
That was a fun week that was cool.
I met my childhood hero.
I was very, very intimidated.
Who was he?
Henrik Lundquist.
He used to be a goalie for the Rangers.
He's literally still on my wall.
He's my number one person ever.
And Caleb is from North Carolina, doesn't give a fuck about hockey.
So he eventually stopped.
He's a stud.
He eventually grabbed him and was like, dude, I'm sorry.
Could you come meet my friend for a second?
And I was like, yes, please.
Thank God.
And it was one of the happier moments I've had.
I used to go to the mall to do his signings.
Leinquist?
Yeah.
He's a beast.
When I was a child, my first Ranger game was like his second game ever when I was like nine years old.
So I've just always loved him.
That was a, that was a big moment for me.
That made my weekend, made my year.
That's magical, man.
You guys just had the first round draft pick, didn't you?
Yeah, the Islanders did.
They had the first overall pick.
So I'm very anti-Islam.
Oh, you're anti-Ilanders.
Yeah, even though I live on the island.
Like my whole family's from Queens, though, so we're all Rangers fans.
Like I hated the Islanders so much.
My high school I went to was down the block from the Islanders Arena, and I didn't want to go to that high school because of that, but I did go because my friends went.
But yeah, I'm not a fan of them.
But love the Rangers and love Henrik.
So that was a big moment for me.
My heart's beating right now thinking about it.
Oh, yeah.
We walked by like three times.
I kept kept hitting Caleb.
I was like, Henrik, Henrik, Henry.
And finally, he did it.
That is pretty cool, huh?
I was praying someone there, like, because one of our buddies was there, Matt, who's a sports agent, and he was there.
And I was telling him, dude, I got to be happy.
He's like, oh, he's my guy.
I'll introduce you.
I was like, could you please introduce me at some point?
Just so like, just be like, hey, this guy's a good guy.
But we didn't.
Caleb just had to go up there.
Caleb had to raw dog it, but thankfully he did raw dog it.
Once you got to watch it, dude, at the UFC fights.
So I'm back.
We were like behind, like backstage or something kind of thing.
And this is a place you can go back there and get a coffee and use a restroom really fast, you know, and like you try to stay out of people's way because these are like the most dangerous guys in the world coming through and, you know, getting ready to do their most dangerous thing.
Yes.
So I went back there and there was this guy and I thought it was Steve Miochik, right?
He's like a famous fighter that just retired.
And so I asked two UFC employees, I was like, is that?
Who is that?
And they both said that's Steve A Miochik, right?
And I'd met him a couple of times before and he had glasses on when I met him.
And this guy didn't have glasses on.
I'm like, oh, maybe he's just, you know, retiring and his eyes are getting better because he just retired.
Like maybe his eyes haven't been getting better since he's not getting beaten in the head or whatever.
So I went over and I was like, what's up, man?
You know, how's retirement going?
And I kind of fucking, I don't want to say tickled him a little bit, but I kind of went like that a little, like something I shouldn't have done, you know, or just like, no, nothing crazy.
One hand.
If you two hands.
Trevor Soldier.
Yeah, like good to see you, daddy.
You know, welcome home, boy.
Welcome home.
What are you doing?
And he kind of, he was like, huh?
And I could feel it fucking get everything switched really quick.
And I was like, what's up, Stipe?
You know, how was retirement?
And then that's when I realized it was not him.
And his wife was right there.
And like, I was like, oh, fuck.
I was like, how do the people who work here not even know?
Cross-referenced twice.
Two times to make sure.
Anyway, it was Jan Baklovo.
Jan Blakovich.
That sounds way scarier than Stephen Maroch.
And he ended up cutting me some slack about it.
And then he even made a joke about it later.
But anyway, yeah, sometimes you're just like, that's a scary thing sometimes about being around those places because there's some real...
Jan Baklovich, bring him up.
Yeah.
Like the hard-nosed dogs that the casual fan does not know sounds scary.
Steve, I've heard him.
Cleveland legend, I believe.
Then look at just a general picture if you saw one and the other.
Those are very similar.
Yeah, similar enough and both amazing fighters.
Let me look at Blahovych's history.
Blahovych.
His fight history real quick.
Is he Russian, I assume, or Polish?
Let me see.
Oh, yeah.
Polish power.
You fought Izzy.
Beat Izzy.
Yeah, I think that's when Izzy tried to move up.
So he was a, yeah.
Dude, it was former freaking light heavyweight champion Jan Blakovich right there.
Beautiful wife.
Anyway, great guy.
Sorry, Jan.
And Steve A. I hope retirement's going well.
Okay.
Yes, Steve A. Cleveland legend.
I know that about him.
Oh, you do?
Yes.
I know he's a Cleveland legend.
Dude, he can come out and support the freaking women's basketball team at Chicago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Cleveland, underrated city.
Yeah.
Oh, dude.
Cleveland is great.
I love the mall that they have down there.
Have you been in that old mall that they're reef?
I think they're reef.
Is there like a hotel in it?
Yeah.
I stayed in that hotel one time.
Me too.
Like years ago.
The comedy shows have always put us up there.
Yeah.
Like me and my parents did like a road trip to Chicago.
We stopped in Cleveland and stayed at the hotel in the mall.
Cleveland's a cool city.
I like it.
Underrated.
Underrated place.
Got some bad rap.
And Cincinnati.
Oh.
I think both underrated cities.
A lot of good people out there.
Well, Glenny, man, I'm just good to see you, dude.
I think you, yeah, I'm excited to see what else you guys want to do in the world.
Do you think you'd ever end up on a cooking show?
Could we see you being the next?
Who's that guy?
Not Juan Batista.
What's his name?
Oh, Bourderuiere?
Anthony Bourdain.
Anthony Bourdain.
Yeah.
I mean, I love Anthony Bourdain.
I mean, I love doing food shit.
That's my favorite thing to do.
Aside from being a larger gentleman myself, I do actually enjoy food.
Food's awesome.
I don't like just eating it.
I don't like eating too much of it even.
I'm at the stage in my life where I like to taste.
I'd rather every place I go to just be a tasting menu.
Just have a few bites of each thing and get on with my life.
But yeah, I mean, that would be really fun.
I think me and Caleb may have to do the Airbnb idea.
We got to actually look into that.
Yeah.
If you had your own series of Airbnbs where people could go and they were like, everything from you guys is vibes, maybe that'd be dope.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's been a oh, I'd love to go down a black olive rabbit hole with you sometime.
Wow, can I burst your bubble here?
I'm not the biggest olive person.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm a bad Greek.
I don't love olives.
I don't go crazy for black olives, dude.
They've been through a lot.
I like black olives.
They're good by me.
I don't like calamada olives.
Those are gross.
Or February olives is what people call them.
But even like when I go to my, when I get martinis, I love martinis now.
I get the olive.
I just have them there for the aesthetic though.
I don't even eat them.
I just leave them there.
People usually feed them to the drunk girl at the bar.
There's always that drunk girl who's had like 60 olives and she just wrecked.
She's just spraying olives.
She's like, little stick in their mouth.
She's just fucking spraying pavement relish in the fucking parking lot later on.
I'm going to tell you my last right before you leave.
The invention that I came out with years ago that's never been happened by science yet, the olive cado.
An avocado olive child?
Yeah.
Enlighten me.
That's what it is.
Because olives are kind of salty a little.
And avocados, you know, always had a little more salt in them.
The olive cato.
Ooh.
They've done food stuff like that before.
They made it with dogs.
You know what?
Can I give you a business idea that I've always thought about?
What are your take on it?
Fully clothed strip club.
I've always said I have two business ideas, fully clothed strip club and fat only gym.
Only fat people could go.
And then when you finally lose the weight, you could still go to the gym and you could be inspiration for the other fats there.
Ooh, I love that.
And it'll be like 40, and you could wear a shirt.
Every year you get like a necklace or something.
It's like 20, like 11 months non-fat.
You get like a, yeah, you get a picture on the Hall of Fame.
If you lose the weight, you get on the Hall of Fame.
You're in there when you walk in.
And you'd be like, oh, look, there's Roger.
He's still doing good.
Like, he's not putting back on.
He's doing good.
So I think that would be a fun idea one day to just do a fat-only gym.
I love that, dude.
Yeah.
I think it's a great idea.
Fat-only gym.
Call it Foggs, Foggies, Foggies Gym, Fat-Only Gym.
Not a horrible way.
Because let me tell you, we don't like going to the gym, man.
We don't like being seen by skinnies.
It's horrible.
Yeah, I think it's interesting what life is like.
And we're all carrying some different type of thing that makes us feel uncomfortable, you know?
It's interesting.
Yeah, especially just being at the gym in general is odd.
My friends were here, actually.
We were here like a year ago.
And they were all going to the gym.
And I was like, fuck it, I'll just go with them.
Because I was hopping.
I bought an elliptical at my house.
So I got an elliptical there.
We went to, you ever went to Quantum over here?
I've heard De Mumbrian.
It's like a hot girl gym.
There's like all the chicks in there in their hot gym outfits.
And then there's all these bros in their cool gym outfits.
And I'm there in like in N1 shorts and a fucking Mets shirt and looking like an idiot.
And it was weird.
And then some people were coming up to me and being like, oh, Gunny, what's up?
And give me a high five.
And almost like I could tell in the way they're talking that it was like they were trying to make me feel welcome at the gym because they know I'm not a gym guy.
And that made me feel so weird.
Like it was almost like a, it was almost like a, oh, like, keep going, like, good work.
And I was like, like, I was on the bench and one guy came over and fist bumped me and was like, good to see you here.
And I was like, oh, I was like, oh, like when an IR, like when a British guy shows up at a dentist or whatever for the first time.
Yeah, they were just trying.
They were trying to be nice about it.
But it was good to see you.
Almost like I see you at church for the first time in a while.
It's like, oh, they really just want to say, good of you for bettering yourself is what they really were trying to say in a nice way.
And it just felt really weird.
Yeah.
That was my last time at a hot girl gym.
You're always welcome here, man.
Thank you, brother.
This was fun.
I've had a good weekend.
This is the most time I've ever spent together.
It is, dude.
We got it, dude.
I enjoyed it.
Thank you, bro.
I enjoyed it too, dude.
You're a special guy in the world.
And yeah, thanks for the support this weekend, too.
I was kind of going through it, but you were right there for me.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Glenny Balls, you can catch him with Caleb Presley on Sunday Conversation, and it's always out and about.
And then he'll be changing the world, dude.
I get scared easily if you can't tell me.
Me too.
I don't know what happened.
You can catch him out and about in the world with Caleb Presley on their show, Sunday Conversation.
Thanks so much, brother.
Thank you, brother.
And happy, thank you for everything this weekend.
And happy 4th of July to all.
Happy 4th of July, huh?
Now I'm just floating on the breeze.
And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Export Selection