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July 25, 2024 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:49:34

E519 Pauly Shore

Pauly Shore is a comedian, actor, and musician best known for his movies like “Encino Man”, “Son in Law” and more. He is currently performing a one-man show called "Stick With The Dancing", and you can check out his podcast “The PMS Podcast Show" on YouTube. Pauly Shore joins Theo to chat about the origins of their longtime friendship, growing up at the Comedy Store and why he feels like he found fame at the best time. Pauly Shore: https://www.instagram.com/paulyshore/ The PMS Podcast Show: https://www.youtube.com/@pmspodcastshow ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Valor Recovery: To learn more about Valor Recovery please visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at admin@valorrecoverycoaching.com Zocdoc: Go to http://zocdoc.com/theo to find and book a top-rated doctor today. Blue Cube: https://www.instagram.com/bluecubebaths/ 50 Fires: Go to link.pscrb.fm/theovon-2307812 to listen to the 50 Fires Podcast. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Cam https://www.instagram.com/cam__george/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	I got a few tour dates to tell you about Wallingford, Connecticut, Portland, Maine, Bangor, Maine, Moncton, Canada, Las Vegas, Nevada.
	We'll be back for the USC LSU football weekend.
	Oklahoma City, Northern Little Rock, Springfield, Missouri, Kansas City, Missouri, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse, Wisconsin, Green Bay, Wisconsin, Moline, Illinois.
	You can get tickets for those at theova.com slash T-O-U-R.
	Thank you so much for your support.
	Today's guest has been in comedy since birth, pretty much.
	Born into the comedy store.
	He's a comedian.
	He's an actor.
	He's an entertainer.
	You know him from his famed movies, Incino Man, and his podcast Variety Show on YouTube, the PMS Podcast.
	You can see him live on tour throughout the rest of the year.
	I'm really thankful to spend time with him today.
	My friend, Mr. Pauly Shore.
	Shine that light on me.
	I'll sit and tell you my stories.
	Shine on me.
	If I were you, you found no small.
	I've been singing this just before I've been singing this just before I've been singing this just before So you just hit, you just had Tommy on?
	Tommy Lee.
	Yeah, dude.
	Oh, my God.
	He's wild.
	Oh, my God, dude.
	I mean, the fact that he's still alive, those guys, dude.
	I mean, he's sober, though.
	He's still, dude.
	Did you?
	I mean, he fucking, dude.
	He fucking ran hard, bro.
	Like, hard.
	Like, all those guys ran really hard.
	Did you?
	Because you probably saw a lot of those bands.
	You probably party with a lot of those guys, huh?
	Are we rolling?
	Yeah.
	Fuck.
	Did you party with a unique?
	A lot of my uncle?
	Yeah.
	He's in Iowa.
	What's up, Uncle Jester?
	What's up, bro?
	What's up, Jester?
	Jester, what's up?
	He's in Iowa.
	He's a big fan, dude.
	Big fan.
	He told me, if you wear a hat, I wear a hat.
	Really?
	Okay.
	I'll roll.
	No, no, you said you're going to wear the hat.
	We're wearing the hat.
	You know what's cool about this show?
	Because I was thinking about you're the rat, right?
	Is that what.
	And you are the weasel.
	The weasel, bro.
	Oh, the rat and the what?
	And the weasel.
	What do you think?
	So, DeP, I was going to ask you this.
	You know, I was coming here and I've known you for a long time.
	I haven't sat down with you yet.
	You know, and I always say this to comedians that are doing really well.
	Like, I've been in the business my whole life.
	Like, I have.
	I mean, since I was little, little, little.
	I watched so many guys, you know, come up, come, Tony Hinchcliffe now, and different guys like yourself.
	And I'm so, and I'm not just saying this to get on your dick or any of that shit.
	I'm really happy for you.
	And I've said that to you before, and I know how hard it is.
	Take it in.
	I know it's hard to let love in, isn't it?
	It's hard to let love in.
	But it's coming from Polly Shore.
	I'm very happy for you for real.
	Thank you.
	You know, I know how hard you've worked.
	I know how hard you've done this and how it's just kind of taken off for you.
	So I see your Instagrams and I see all these people that you're playing in front of.
	And I'm very, very happy for you because it's fucking awesome.
	Thanks, man.
	I mean, it fucking like, you know, you're always pretty cool.
	You always have something kind of supportive to say or inquire when I see you.
	So I want to say I appreciate that, man.
	Yeah, and I appreciate you appreciating me.
	All right.
	I appreciate you appreciating me.
	You said, go on?
	No, no, no.
	Gesture, what's up?
	I think we should take our hats off now.
	Okay, that's all.
	You know what I mean?
	Because it's the rat and the weasel, bro.
	Chinese.
	The hair looks good, man.
	Thank you.
	It's great, actually.
	Thank you.
	I was with Gary Shanley's hairdresser.
	He set it up for me.
	So that's good stuff.
	Dude, when you said, yeah, you have a tough time letting love, and that's true.
	Yeah, very much so.
	Which is why I'm single.
	Which is why I'm sure you're single.
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Because, yeah, women like us.
	Most women like us because we've been on TV and movies or they've seen us on our thing.
	Like, oh my God, I love Biodome.
	I love the squirrely rat, whatever your fucking shit is on this.
	You're a bad pigeon, you know.
	You're a bad pigeon, you know what I mean?
	But then after that, you're a human being and you're a person with a brain, a heart, a smile, all that shit.
	And at the end of the day, you don't know if they're liking you for the rat.
	Let me see the rat tail.
	Let me see that.
	Throw that shit out in the back.
	Yeah, that fucking rat shit.
	That's tight-ass shit.
	Pull this out on Easter sometimes.
	And actually, we did this.
	I'm thinking about a half-inch extension on this page.
	It's very Bon Jovi back in 1987, dude.
	It's very, it's very.
	First song I ever listened to is Bonjov.
	But for real, is it hard to let love in?
	Yeah, I don't think it's hard for me to notice who is appropriate for me to love, but I think it's hard for me to feel like it's just somebody could sit there and tell you, man, I really love you.
	And I'd be like, all right, buddy, let's keep it.
	Let's keep it.
	Or a woman.
	Hopefully it's a woman.
	All right, woman, let's keep it moving here.
	It's just hard for me to like, I just.
	Yeah, I also think that my receptors are better.
	Yeah, I think that once people get over the fact that you're the celebrity and all that stuff, then you're stuck with you as a human.
	And then at the end of the day, like, that's really what it's about.
	You know what I mean?
	Do you want to hang out?
	Do you want to go get sushi?
	Do you want to go fuck around?
	You know what I mean?
	Right.
	Well, I think sometimes this is interesting, Paulie.
	And I think it's like, well, sometimes I wonder if like by getting some pop, by creating a life or aiming for some level of popularity, if you're really trying to create an ambiance or create something between you and other people that gives you a barrier.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Does that make any sense?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, because they see the persona and they think that you're the persona.
	Like sometimes, like, I was with this girl was.
	Like, I'll create it so you never even have to know the real me.
	And maybe I don't even know the real me.
	But so I'm going to make this and hopefully you'll like this.
	Yeah, because, yeah, because what happened was, is about three months ago, I met this girl on the road.
	I think it was in Iowa with my uncle.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And I met this girl, and she loved son-in-law, this movie I did a long time ago, son-in-law.
	And she wouldn't have sex with me unless I put on my chaps and I put in my hair because I used to have long hair.
	So in order for me to have sex with her, guess what I had to do?
	Put it on.
	Put it on.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	And then I had to go do all this shit like that.
	And then once I orgasmed, then I take the shit off.
	And I left.
	I felt bad.
	I wound up at Waffle House by myself at the end of the night crying with the fucking tear.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I think if you have to dress up to have sex, it's probably going to get I don't know if I can do this right now.
	Okay.
	I'm all right.
	I'm all right.
	Thank you.
	No, I'm here for you, man.
	And I'm happy to see you today.
	You know what?
	You know what?
	I saw Kid Rock on this right here, and I have something to fucking say to you, motherfucking Kid Rock.
	Tell him.
	First of all, don't disrespect Theo Vaughn the whole time.
	You're wearing this and fucking this, dude.
	You're wearing this and this.
	What the fuck, bro?
	You come to LA.
	You got to show your pretty face.
	No, I'm just kidding.
	No, I love Kid Rock.
	Kid Rock, what's up, bro?
	Did you ever?
	Where was the first time I met him?
	Dude, that's a fucking hilarious story.
	For real.
	Kid Rock, what's up?
	I haven't seen you since probably.
	No.
	No, what do you mean?
	I used to go on tour.
	I used to go on tour with this guy.
	You don't even fucking know.
	Paul, he barely remembers it, bro.
	No, I used to go on tour with this guy when he had his little, the dwarf, the kid.
	Oh, yeah.
	What was his name?
	JC?
	Imagine Baby?
	No.
	JC.
	Oh, yeah, JC.
	Yeah, JC.
	Bring him up.
	Oh, yeah.
	So Uncle Cracker was his DJ.
	Is he still his DJ?
	No, Uncle Cracker does perform with him sometimes, but Uncle Cracker is on tour right now, I think, with Kenny Chesney, actually.
	Yeah.
	So this is when I see right there.
	JC was for cancer, wasn't it?
	What happened to him?
	He just partied a lot.
	He was like in the mini me.
	He was partying with like Mini Me and like, you know, that whole thing.
	Yeah, this is like, yeah.
	They called him.
	Andy Pillanakis.
	People would call him because he would do like a lot of pills.
	Yeah.
	So what happened?
	So the first time I met JC and Kid Rock and all this, this, this stuff, it was fucking crazy.
	Have your guy pull up Conan O'Brien, Limp Biscuit.
	I think it was late 90s, Pauly Shore, Kid Rock, and fucking Limp Biscuit, Conan O'Brien.
	So I'm with Fred because this is when Fred started on MTV.
	I had been on MTV for a long time.
	I was kind of sad.
	I was going through this kind of transition part.
	It's kind of when I did my movie, Pauly Shore is Dead.
	I know that Tommy Lee was on here recently, who was in Pauly Shore is Dead.
	I've known Tommy for a long time.
	And we went to Conan O'Brien and Fred was performing, I think it was Faith.
	You know, he was the George Michaels song Faith off of one of his albums.
	And me and Kid Rock went with Fred and we're in the fucking background on Conan O'Brien.
	I know it's there.
	I know it's fucking there.
	It's there somewhere.
	There it is.
	Look at this is fucking triple, triple.
	Look at this.
	Wow.
	Turn it up, dude.
	Can we hear it?
	Yeah, crank this motherfucker, dude.
	Yeah, look at this shit.
	Look at, there's, wait, and look at Kid Rock in the corner.
	Wait.
	In the red jacket?
	Oh, yeah, there he is in the red jacket.
	Yeah.
	Fred, what's up, Fred?
	What's up, motherfucker Fred?
	Out there killing it on the road right now.
	And I guess it would be nice.
	Oh, look how young he is.
	At your body.
	Know that everybody has a body like you.
	And I gotta think of twice before I get you the other way.
	So this is where I first met Kid Rock.
	Look at him in the background.
	I think I'm wearing the hood.
	I think.
	Yeah, that's me in the hood, I think.
	Oh, yeah, that's right, Kid Rock's my fucking boy.
	What's up, Kid Rock?
	Triple, triple, quadruple OG.
	I'll see you on Lake Michigan.
	We'll drink some fucking beers.
	Gang, bro.
	Yeah, so that was pretty cool.
	I'll see you up there in Charlottevoy, baby.
	That's where they party.
	Have you been up there?
	I was in Lake Michigan for this last 4th of July.
	I was in Pentwater.
	Is it nice?
	Pentwater was beautiful, yeah.
	Because I was born and raised in LA around the store and, you know, right there in West Hollywood and shit my whole life.
	And it was this last 4th of July.
	I'm like, I don't want to be in Vegas.
	I don't want to be in fucking Malibu.
	I don't want to do that.
	I want to go to the Middle America.
	I want to see people with Trump flags.
	You know what I mean?
	I want to go out there on the fucking, on Lake Michigan.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah, and I got an Airbnb right on the water with my friend, my friends.
	And I played a club there, a small little bar.
	It was fucking sick.
	And we were in Pentwater, Michigan.
	Just looking for good rock.
	It was cool.
	Have you ever been to Lake Michigan?
	I don't think I have.
	I would definitely go.
	Next summer, I'm going to go.
	It's huge.
	It's huge.
	Let's do it next summer.
	Yeah, I would love to see it.
	Fucking 4th of July.
	Do a show up there somewhere.
	Awesome, dude.
	Did you do the show on the 4th or no?
	No.
	No, I took the 4th off.
	Yeah.
	I just watched fireworks, but I did like five nights there, and it was great.
	Did you get out on the water?
	I went in the water.
	Yeah, of course.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Nice.
	Yeah, it was cool.
	When you were a kid, like, I mean, you famously, you grew up around the comedy store.
	Your mother was the owner, and your father was the owner.
	And your family still owns it.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	And did you guys ever go on family vacations?
	Well, my dad, Sammy Shore, the late great Sammy Shore, give it up for my father.
	Let's put a picture of my dad, Sammy Shore.
	Put a picture of him up.
	And I'll say this.
	I want to say this about him before we move.
	Sammy, I got to meet him.
	And we would talk sometimes about, this was interesting, he wanted to make like a show about dogs, right?
	Yes.
	And so he would call every now and then and we would talk about this show about dogs and his neighbor's dogs and his friends' dogs.
	And it was, that was my only.
	It was called Funny Bones.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, Funny Bones.
	Yeah, he did it.
	He wound up doing it.
	Did he really?
	Yeah, he did.
	He did some episodes.
	Oh, because it was just interesting.
	That was the only way that I knew him.
	He was, he was, you know, I love my mom.
	My mom was the best.
	Not only was she a great, you know, developing the comedians and artistic and all that stuff, but as a mom, she was fucking sure.
	Yeah, but she was a real mom.
	Was she really?
	Yeah, dude.
	She took care of me.
	She was not like weird or like just because she was busy at the comic store, she went there for my birthdays and all that stuff.
	You know, she did the whole thing.
	We had slip and slides.
	We had trampolines in the back.
	I had a moped, all that shit.
	Did she like being a mom, you think?
	Yeah, she was cool.
	She was a natural mom.
	But my father, you know, he started the store.
	You know, he started the, there it is, funny bones.
	Yeah, but he started the store because he needed a place to work out his stand-up, kind of like Joe at the mothership.
	You know, Joe was like, he's like, I need a place to work out.
	I go out to the mothership and I have a club.
	So that was kind of his vibe.
	Do you see that when you go to the mothership now?
	Do you feel some of that same energy almost in a weird way?
	Yeah, I definitely feel, I definitely feel my mom there.
	I feel my parents there.
	Yeah, for sure.
	You know, it's great.
	I mean, he's got bar mitzies and all that stuff.
	And Joe's, you know, it's weird when I see the guy start crying.
	I always fucking cry when I see him.
	There's like an emotional connection that I have with him.
	It's fucking weird.
	It's funny you say that.
	That happens to me sometimes.
	When I'm talking with Joey Diaz, sometimes it happens with me.
	It's like it just like, I don't know, I'll think some things about his life or something and I'll, I don't know what it is, but my, my, my eyes will well up, you know?
	Yeah.
	And Joey Diaz is, yeah, all those guys.
	And Holtzman's doing great.
	Yeah.
	Holtzman's doing great.
	And I tell, I tell him, I'm like, don't leave the mothership.
	You know, just stay at the fucking mothership.
	You're funny.
	You're going to hit because, you know, he wants to make it like Dave Lucas and fucking and Cam and Montgomery and all these guys that are, you know, that organization on Tony.
	And I'm like, dude, just hang in there.
	You're fucking great.
	And now he's starting to sell tickets.
	So if there's anyone out there that wants to see a crazy motherfucking comedian, Brian Holtzman is fucking awesome from the mothership and we love him.
	One of a kind dude.
	Brian would get up.
	This is one of my favorite Brian Holtzman stories.
	So when Jeff, piano Jeff died of COVID or HIV, right?
	You could take your pick.
	He might have died of HIV OVID, right?
	I mean, he had something he had, you know.
	And if you don't know him, Jeff Scott, bring up a picture of him.
	A beautiful man.
	And he got HIV in Connecticut a long time ago.
	Princetown.
	Princetown.
	Yeah.
	It was like a hot gay district.
	He told me about it.
	Yeah, he always took a whole bunch of pills.
	And yeah, he was always partying and just, you know, he was always, you know, too hard.
	Well, no, I wasn't saying party pills, like HIV pills.
	Oh, he was?
	I was always, yeah, he always had like a fistful of HIV pills.
	Okay, well, I think so.
	No, pills like, you know what I mean, that make him feel better.
	Right.
	Well, that are supposed to support AIDS.
	You know, the kind that Magic Johnson buys.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Those type of pills.
	Those Laker snacks, they call them.
	Because I think, yeah, Laker snacks.
	I think we should put our hats on.
	Okay.
	You know what I mean?
	Because we got Gary Shanley here.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's that time of day.
	But he would also, in between, what did he say in 1986?
	I was diagnosed with HIV.
	And Cold told her, you have two years to live.
	Here's a famphlet with some information.
	Good luck.
	Yeah.
	And he lived forever.
	Yeah.
	And now, yeah.
	And this was, I had to take 20 pills a day.
	He said right there.
	Now he also was doing cocaine, right?
	So part-time or whatever, semi-part-time.
	But anyway, bless him, no judgment.
	No, this is judgment.
	But so they had a call during COVID where it was a funeral.
	It was his funeral over Zoom.
	It was a Zoom, Zoom mural, or whatever they called him.
	And so we're on there and people are crying.
	And, you know, Whitney was like wearing a kimono and wandering around her mansion or whatever, you know, and like just, there was 75 people on there.
	And his Jeff's sister was on there and she would speak.
	And every now and then, Brian Holtzman would chime in.
	He had AIDS, people.
	He had AIDS.
	And people, everybody would die laughing.
	He was the Harvey milk of our time.
	Just Holtzman would just throw in these.
	It was a pure comedy set.
	And it was just one of like, it was that thing where it's like, laugh at the pain, you know?
	And it was just unprecedented.
	But yeah, it's great to see him thriving over there.
	Yeah, his style is, you know, it's an acquired taste.
	Oh, it's an acquired taste.
	You know, he does a lot of these videos where he'll film people leaving his show.
	Have you seen that?
	It's fucking hilarious because there's a lot of people that leave his show.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	They get pissed off.
	So they film it and they're like, people are like, that guy's fucking disgusting.
	I'm going to call the put one of those videos up where Holtzman, where Holtzman just clears a room.
	He clears a room, dude.
	I mean, the guy's sister was crying and he put that in.
	Turn it up.
	What did he say?
	Why can't you marry his women shit?
	What did he say?
	He's pretty.
	Pretty.
	Too much.
	That guy is self-american.
	What the fuck are you talking about?
	You can't with the 40-ish screw.
	You can't.
	That is not for me.
	No, thank you.
	Fuck you.
	Fuck him.
	My family will pay our bills.
	Someone has to represent a generation.
	It's not you.
	Fuck him.
	And the 47th paying the bills now.
	You guys got to go see him.
	Okay.
	I mean, he's basically, he walks a lot of people.
	Hold on, let's go.
	Five minutes later.
	Look, what happened?
	Oh, fuck that.
	No, seriously, what did he say?
	No, honestly.
	You're fucking right.
	Oh, fuck him.
	Did you guys pay for that bill?
	No, fuck that shit.
	Give me my fucking money.
	You motherfucker.
	Wow.
	That's classic.
	I didn't know they do this.
	They have to keep doing more of this.
	Yeah.
	But anyways, but it's a good time for comedy, man.
	It's fucking crazy, dude.
	It's crazy.
	Because when I was growing up, you know, it was five guys that were selling out the rooms that you guys sell out.
	Is that true?
	Yeah, that's true.
	You had Dice, you had Eddie Murphy, like three or four other guys.
	Now there's a lot of fucking guys.
	Like the rooms you play, it's insane.
	Oh, yeah, it's crazy.
	It's fucking insane.
	What you like?
	I mean, you must be pinching yourself.
	You walk out on the stage, it's like fucking what, 20,000 people?
	10,000 people?
	And they got Ari Manis.
	How the fuck, right?
	I'm grateful to have him around.
	he always speaks very highly of you.
	Oh, cool.
	Always.
	Yes, yes.
	I've taken him out on the road.
	The thing is, with you and I, because we're similar in a way, like we go out on the road and we bring these guys, and you know, and we know, and you know, I know, and everyone else knows the reason why people are paying for the tickets is for us.
	But at the end of the day, you got to take care of your guys, and you also, they're there not just to open the show, they're there to hang out for you emotionally.
	And that's more important.
	So you got to give them a little extra shekels for that.
	That's a good point, man.
	You know what I'm saying?
	And that's what I do.
	And I pay for everything.
	And I, you know, you know, I take care, I take care of my guys because, you know, at the end of the day, we're lonely guys, me and you.
	I mean, let's be honest.
	You know, and if they weren't there, you'd have some local opening for you and then you wouldn't be able to be with your homie.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Well, it's definitely true.
	And yeah, you kind of factor in.
	It's like you think, like, okay, I want to just, yeah, your opener has almost become who do.
	Emotional support animal.
	Who do I like being around?
	Who likes being around me?
	Who can we both be around each other?
	Hang.
	It's all about the hang.
	You know, like just sitting before you go on and you feel like those are your real friends.
	Yeah.
	And I think that's more important.
	And then obviously you're giving them stage time and they're making some money.
	But at the end of the day, we're fucking, we're broken wings, dude.
	You know, we're fucked up, dude.
	If your mom was pretty attentive and she was really kind of there, what do you think kind of made you that made turned you into the comedian, you think?
	For me, I just, I don't know.
	I mean, I've always loved making people laugh, you know what I mean?
	Ever since I was a kid.
	I mean, it started with Richard Pryor and Robin Williams and all those guys because back in the day, I talk about this on my one-man show.
	I have a one-man show that your dude told me he saw.
	It's called Stick with the Dancing.
	It's about my childhood.
	And it's everything before I made it.
	It's all the shit that I happened before I made it.
	Yeah, it's all my childhood shit.
	But when I was a kid, you know, my mom used to have a lot of parties at the house.
	So she would always be like, let's go back to the fucking house from the store.
	You know what I mean?
	And everyone would go to the house, the Dohaney house, where, you know, where I grew up in.
	And, you know, and it would be like a Tuesday night and I'd be trying to sleep.
	And I'd hear the party going downstairs.
	I had to wake up for school in the morning because my mom's guardian, who was a Thai lady by the name of Suny, and the bar manager name was Ted.
	He worked the club.
	And Sunny would have to take me to school.
	And I had to wake up in the morning, but there'd be partying downstairs.
	So I had to go downstairs and I'd have to tell my mom to shut up.
	I mean, but for real, because my mom was from Wisconsin and her voice would go, ah, and it would peer through the fucking laughter.
	And there would be Richard Pryor and there would be Robin and fucking Argus and Richard Belzer and Tim Thomerson and Biff Maynard and all these fucking guys.
	It was wild, dude.
	Like my shit, like when I, like the fact that I'm still around and I'm okay is fucking weird.
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Oh, I can't imagine.
	It's fucking weird because I've seen so much.
	Do you feel like you had, you felt like you had to compete to be like you, oh, well, in order to be even seen, I have to be funny because that's no, it was just, you know, because when I told them to shut up at school in the morning, everyone laughed.
	So it was like, that's what.
	Of course, dude.
	Yeah, they would just laugh.
	So it was like, I was, I was, you know, I guess I was funny without knowing I was funny when I was, you know, when I was just a kid.
	But I always liked making people laugh.
	Like I always fucked around.
	And that's what Total Poly was.
	I mean, Toti Polly was like this natural, this kind of like happy accident, you know, the thing on MTV.
	It was just like this fucking thing.
	Yeah, how many episodes did you guys do of it?
	We shot six years, dude.
	Six years every day from 3 to 4.30.
	Jesus.
	That's what I was telling you when you came up to my house.
	I'm like, dude, you're like I was back when I first made it because you're like this.
	People like, ah, on you.
	And that's how it was for me.
	But I was in my 20s.
	Yeah.
	How old are you?
	I'm 44. So imagine that when you're in your 20s.
	I can't.
	I would not be alive.
	Yeah.
	I'd be deceased.
	I'd be deceased, but at least then the cocaine was safe to do.
	Yeah, because you did a lot of that.
	I did some of it.
	Not a lot.
	I did enough.
	Yeah, I did a little more than that to say that I just said I did.
	Yeah, I did.
	Yeah, I've had, yeah, I've did it.
	Yeah, because you have mental stuff too, right?
	Well, I think.
	Are you better now than you were?
	Yeah, some stuff's better.
	But I think, what do I, I mean, yeah, I don't know.
	I'd like, you know what I liked about Khan?
	I think I just didn't trust the fucking world, right?
	There's just something about the world I didn't trust.
	I didn't trust it out of the gate.
	You trust me?
	I don't know.
	We'll see.
	I didn't trust the world out of the gate.
	But there was something about a joke, right?
	that you couldn't if I got you to if you laughed it was like I think we should take our hats off I think it's a great idea.
	Do you have glasses?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, let's put some glasses on.
	Don't you think it makes sense?
	Will you bring my glasses at the end of the day?
	Yeah, just because they're in the front of my book bag.
	They're lenses list.
	Yeah, we're trying to do a theme thing here.
	Like the Belushi, you know, like, what is it?
	Oh, like Blue Bonnet or whatever?
	Yeah, no, like Blues Brothers.
	Blues Brothers.
	That makes sense, right?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Okay, so go on back into the laugh.
	There's the Blues Brothers.
	But there's something about laughter, man.
	Like, it was just, it was like magic.
	It was like, how do I do magic from over here?
	Like, make you feel a certain way, but I don't need to go over it.
	I just, it's like, what do you do?
	And laughter was that.
	If you could get somebody, you'd say something, and they went from whatever their state was, and they laughed.
	I was like, oh, that's real.
	That's authentic.
	That's authentic.
	I can rely.
	They couldn't have faked that.
	You can tell if they did.
	Yes, exactly.
	So you're from the bayou, though, right?
	So something like that.
	So you're from the bayou.
	Oh, this is good, dude.
	This is like a theme thing.
	What?
	Oh, wow.
	Oh, wow.
	So you don't have shades on there?
	Yeah, the shades, we can edit them in.
	Clear.
	Oh, you edit them in?
	Oh, that's sick.
	So this is Jackie O'Nesta.
	Take your old records off the shelves.
	Okay, so, all right.
	So that was something that was fascinating to me.
	Dude, I want to know this.
	Who came by the store, right?
	Who came by the store, Paulie, over the years.
	Like, I mean, what about when Jim Carrey came?
	Were you guys just like, what?
	Like, who came and it was just something so novel?
	Did you ever, you ever, you ever see, you ever see a popcorn machine put popcorn out you know where pop pop pop pop pop pop that was like the store back in the you know in the 70s 80s and 90s yeah it felt like that you know my mom was the center she was the central colonel you know what i mean so yeah so boom you got you got jim carry boom you got dice boom you got fucking you know arsinio boom you got uh roseane boom you got you know eddie murphy boom you
	got richard boom you got robin boom it was just like boom boom but everyone was doing drugs and everyone was drinking and it was just like normal yeah you know and sam kennison was the man it was part of society it was it was very common that's why when tommy lee was here you know he was here i guess earlier or whatever he was part of that whole thing because him and sam kennison were very close they were yeah very close we should yeah and then also vince neal who i talked to about a month ago he lives in nashville yeah do you know that because
	you live in nashville i see him sometimes yeah and he says he's got a huge he's the only one that's still not sober like everyone else is sober yeah and vince is like no fuck that i'm like cool i'm hanging out with you vince is wild yeah there you go oh that's so cool what about the story with uh kinnison and lebove did you know about all that oh very much so yeah that's a wild story take me through some of that story okay so basically there was a comedian for you young tick tockers out there that are obsessed with my
	friend theo vaughan just so you know vaughan is from it's a french uh artic uh articulation that comes from the south of france in an island called brindisi so just look that up that's where his last name is theo vaughn vaughn vaughn yeah and my family originally is from mogadishu actually yes mogadishu which is in the swiss alps yep swiss alps high as you can go up there yeah so it's just up up up up up that's where his mom popped you out come on up that's what mom would say come on up take
	a month yep so just to to do the small the quick version there's a comedian named sam kennison he was on fire his best friend name was named carl lebeau think about amir k you know and you guys are doing drugs and getting fucked up and blah blah blah and um um amir k amir k is is married and amir k has a wife and you fuck his wife and then you get her pregnant
	and then you die and then uh amir k has your baby and then amir k winds up having to pay for your baby and he rests his baby his whole life no because it looks like fucking you but he they never got a blood test i don't think until later right until kind of later yeah so for 16 years 18 years like he had to you know was paying for the baby carl was supporting the child and thinking it was his daughter yeah but
	it was it was up and and i still haven't met the kid wow and i really want to meet the kid so um that'd be pretty fascinating we should get her on this show i'll wish we could zoom right now with her how sick would that be sam sam kennison's uh she's like what's up yeah oh oh you know being an adult has its high points i'll say that you can eat ice cream for dinner you can sit in your car and have your dang waffle in there if you want eat it with your hands
	god that's nice but it's not all fun you also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner and and you have to make doctor's appointments but for that there's zoc doc the healthcare app that makes adulting that much easier that's right zoc doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors choose the right one for your needs and
	click to instantly book an appointment finally there's a way to do that easily we're talking about in-network appointments with more than a hundred thousand healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health eye care to skin care and much more plus zoc doc appointments happen fast typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking you can even score same-day appointments you know i hate looking for doctors the old way it's
	confusing you got three windows open on your computer and zoc doc that's the way i'm doing it so stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash theo to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today that's z-oc-d-oc.com slash th o zocdoc.com slash theo is pornography causing a problem in your life that's
	a good question it's a real question it has in mine it has at certain periods in my life uh watching porno and everything and watching porno was making me it was ruining my life it was ruining my life man made me feel just so much shame that's what it did well watching pornography has become commonplace today and oftentimes men will use porno to numb the pain of loneliness boredom anxiety and
	depression that's all i want to introduce you to my friend stephen walt steve is the founder of valor recovery he is a dear friend of mine he is a dear friend of mine and valor recovery is a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity that's right their coaches are in long-term recovery and they will be your partner mentor and spiritual guide to transcend problematic behaviors there is zero commitment
	if you reach out to them it's just the first step in trying to figure out if you may need some help if you can get some help to learn more about valor recovery please visit them at valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com the links will be uh on the youtube and again there's no commit when you commitment when you reach out to them um but
	i promise you uh only something positive will come uh from you reaching out and figuring out if um if what type of help if any uh could benefit you thank you but um yeah so uh that was that was wild and carl got a fucking carl carl got the he he had a tough one.
	He had a tough run.
	I got to put my glasses back on.
	Thanks.
	Yeah, but Carl had a tough run, and he was genius.
	He was a great.
	Carl was great.
	I would see him down in Texas down at Randy Butler's clubs down there.
	And I would see him perform down there sometimes and cross paths.
	Nice guy.
	Yeah.
	People loved him.
	Yeah, he was special.
	There was another guy named Mitchell Walters who also died.
	You know, Carl died, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And Mitchell Walters died, too.
	He was fucking hilarious.
	He had the fucking funniest 12 minutes of material.
	Really bring him up.
	This guy was fucking hilarious.
	Wow.
	We did shows in Vegas.
	This was in the late 80s.
	And we were at the Dunes Hotel, and it was Sam Kennison and the Outlaws of Comedy.
	Mitchell, what was his name?
	Mitchell Walters.
	Yeah, this guy.
	Oh, wow.
	Beautiful.
	He was fucking hilarious.
	Trans or no?
	No, he wasn't trans.
	Indian, huh?
	No, I don't know what he was, but he was fucking hilarious.
	See, there's a picture with him and Sam and Billy Idol on the left up there.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Oh, wow.
	Wow.
	So before one of the shows at the Dunes, this was the late 80s.
	This is when Sam Kennison was getting sued by United Artists for not showing up on his movie set, a took.
	So Mitchell Walters comes up to me before the show and I said, Mitchell, we're going to hang out after the show, right?
	And he goes, yeah, absolutely.
	Me and you, we're going to party, package, package, party.
	And then when the show started and then the show finished and I went to go hang out with him and I'm like, yo, let's fucking hang.
	He's like, get the fuck away from me, golden boy.
	I don't go hang out with your fucking mother.
	I don't have time for this shit.
	Because in between the show, he went out and did Coke and he fucking gambled and he lost everything.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Damn.
	Yeah.
	And one show lost it all.
	Yeah, he lost a lot.
	And how did he pass away?
	I think he had some type of internal, like, you know, I don't want to say it was cancer or something like that, but he wasn't too healthy.
	Damn, bro.
	Yeah.
	So, but he was a really funny, funny cat as well, though.
	It's kind of a dangerous, it's a dice roll doing comedy because you're really, you're at a, because comedy club is just a bar attached to a stage.
	That's all it is.
	It's a bar.
	Yeah, and you have access to everything.
	And you perform at night.
	So you're at work at night.
	People have just gotten out of a crowd.
	They're on a high.
	You're on a high.
	It's like, yeah, it's like you're just, there's so much temptation that's right there.
	So much possibility to get in trouble.
	So how's it going for you now?
	How are you feeling these days?
	I feel okay.
	I think I feel like a lot of responsibility sometimes, you know, so that's, it's not as much fun sometimes, I guess, because you have a little bit, you feel like you have more responsibility.
	But then sometimes I got to remember, hey, man, just take it easy.
	Just do your best, be yourself, try your best, and just try to be honest about, you know, whenever you can about what's going on, you know?
	So some of that's been pretty interesting.
	I think just that the boom we're having in comedy has been really, that's been a real blessing because I think the news kind of shot itself in the dick over the past five years or something.
	Kind of like nobody knows what's news or what's real anymore.
	So everything's such a joke anyway that I think people are like, well, at least I know these are jokes.
	Yeah.
	And then what do you think about like doing something on stage or doing something or this or whatever?
	And then people comment on this as opposed to the old days where you just do a TV show and no one would comment.
	Right.
	Except for they would just come up to you at like a, you know, a diner and say, oh, I saw you on Married with Children or some shit.
	But like this is instant.
	Do you read the comments?
	Sometimes I'll look at some of them.
	Sometimes the producers will send me some to watch.
	You know, it's good luck.
	It's like, do you want to open a box that something can hurt your feelings?
	I don't know.
	I think that's kind of some of the dangerous part.
	Now, if it's something super funny, a lot of times they'll make sure that I see it, you know?
	Yeah.
	Sometimes if somebody makes funny, really.
	What do you think about what happened to Jack Black and his partner recently?
	He's not.
	His partner, you know?
	Well, no, because he said.
	He's homosexual.
	The what?
	He's homosexual?
	No, I don't.
	No, no, no.
	What happened was I think they said something about Donald Trump.
	Oh, I didn't even see that.
	Oh, with Tristan D or whatever the guy's name is?
	Snake D or whatever?
	No, his partner said something.
	Oh, yeah.
	He said, I wish I wouldn't have missed him.
	Yeah, I think that's fucking kind of classless, I think.
	Yeah.
	I wouldn't say that about a president.
	No.
	Did you?
	But isn't it wild that you can ad live something like that and then it's a rap for a while?
	Yeah.
	It's crazy, right?
	And yes, it was terrible, you know, that he said that.
	And that's you don't you don't say that and you don't even joke about that.
	But I mean, look, but also it's like that's how he feels.
	I just think it's a kind of a and it had just had like, yeah, it's just kind of people don't want that.
	People are confused.
	So what do you think about Kamala these days?
	This is pretty.
	No, but Kamala's not even.
	I know, but the whole thing's going to be like a great, it's going to be political theater.
	I think, oh, it is.
	And it's going to be like.
	It's all it is now.
	Yes.
	I think politics is just.
	Political theater.
	It's a shell or it's a shell company for the big business.
	It's a fucking, it's like a puppet.
	It's a puppet theater.
	It seems like to me.
	Well, I think, I don't know if Kamala doesn't have it to win.
	I don't think that.
	I don't think anyone is going to beat Trump, to be honest.
	I think Bobby Kennedy, I feel like, has a lot of great points to talk about and stuff.
	I think he's very fascinating.
	I think he, you know, you believe that he wants to get in there and do something different.
	Why is it so many people don't want to run for president?
	Like The Rock, for instance.
	People have talked about The Rock.
	Like he's gorgeous.
	He's big.
	He's handsome.
	He's a huge, huge star.
	Like, you know, like I think Trump fans and then also the liberal audience would fucking go, oh my God, that's fucking The Rock.
	That's our guy.
	Yeah, because obviously, like, I mean, would you ever run for anything like that?
	Like, think about it for a second.
	Like, not right Now, yeah, but I'm like, you know, you're 44. You said 44. I'm 44. 44. So look about when you're 54. Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	After you kind of like wanted to chill, like, would you ever get into politics?
	Maybe I would run for a VP or something if they let you.
	So you'd be a vice president?
	Be cool.
	Because vice president, you just get to stand in the back and be like this, right?
	That'd be cool.
	Vice president, you just get to fucking chill, bro.
	Have you ever been to the White House?
	Sure, they want a thug.
	You just get to fucking be like, what does the vice president say?
	He just needs to say some crazy shit, bro.
	And you know what I'm saying?
	You get to say, hey, China, we bout this shit, bro.
	And then it just goes viral and then you're fucking having a blast, dude.
	And you can party with chicks or whatever.
	Your wife can be fucking cool.
	Your kids can be on the front lawn fucking juggling or fucking smoking behind the statues or whatever.
	I think it would be, that part would be pretty fun.
	And there's no pressure.
	Everybody knows the vice president's who gives a fuck anyway.
	But now let anybody be the vice president.
	Yeah.
	But now she's she, because Joe Biden timbered.
	Yeah.
	Timbered.
	You know what I mean?
	And that pissed me off.
	Joe should have fucking hung in there.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Until he fell really hard.
	You know what they should have done?
	Here's what they should have done with him because he didn't want to bail.
	You know what I mean?
	He didn't want to bail.
	No, they told him so long he was the president.
	He finally, when they said, no, no, you're not the president, he's like, I am the president.
	She believed it.
	No, what they should have done is they should have told him that, Mr. President, there's mold in the White House.
	We need to move you to a hotel.
	Move him to a hotel for three, four days.
	Then take all his pictures and all the different things that are in the White House and put them in another White House and then move him back into that and say, this is your place.
	And he won't know that it's not his place.
	And then just say, you're the president.
	But he just like plug in other TVs and shit.
	He's like, don't I have anything to do today?
	Like, no, you're good.
	They're like, no, your dog just bit somebody.
	Now eat some ice cream.
	But I felt bad because he was, you know.
	He was being puppeted, it felt like.
	Yeah, but he was also, I've been around like my mom, for instance.
	My mom wasn't well, you know, towards, towards, you know, the last good 10 years.
	She was, you know.
	Have some dementia.
	Yes.
	She had that whole thing.
	So that was affecting me watching Joe.
	It reminded me of my mom.
	And your grandparents or people's watching grandparents.
	It's not fucking funny.
	Oh, if you did that to me.
	Yeah, I mean, my father was 70 when I was born, so he was an old man.
	So I can totally relate to the sense of like, it felt like somebody was being taken advantage of a little bit.
	That's right.
	And that really, I don't care what side of things you're on, but that to me just felt, it must look cringe to people in the world if that's how we're willing to do with our senior citizens.
	And then also like every time he walked off a plane wasn't cool.
	Like it felt like he was going to fall.
	Yeah.
	And it wasn't cool.
	And it's like, you know, I didn't want to see that.
	Right.
	You know what I mean?
	I didn't want to see.
	I don't, I'm glad that didn't, nothing bad happened.
	That's a good point, huh?
	All those little stages they put him on.
	The scariest thing to put, the scariest thing for a senior citizen next to more than, more than one Ottoman in a room is a little stage, dude, because there's nowhere really to go except for down.
	Yeah, just stairs.
	Yeah, one stair, two stairs.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so that shit was bumped, dude.
	What do you think?
	And it looks like almost they tried to kill Trump.
	Someone did.
	It didn't work.
	And so then Biden, they're like, well, if that doesn't work, then Biden has to step down because he puts somebody that can try to win.
	I don't know if that's true, but it looks a little bit like that.
	What do you think happened?
	What do you think?
	I think he's a sicko, that little kid.
	Oh, you think it was just the kid acting alone?
	He was just a sicko, yeah.
	I think so.
	I think it was just a sicko.
	You know, it's like a lot of these school shooters are, they're, you know what I mean?
	They're not all up there.
	Who's, I mean, who's going to take a gun and go shoot up a school?
	It's just disgusting.
	Oh, yeah.
	So it's like, you know, for someone to do that, it's just repulsive.
	Yeah.
	You know, and I don't know.
	I mean, no comment.
	It's just sad.
	You know, the kids are fucked up.
	Oh, it's heartbreaking.
	And then the kid is dead now.
	You know, and you wonder, like, did somebody get to this kid and inspire him to do that?
	The thing about having another shooter, because some people think there's another shooter, but you would had to have had.
	Then somebody had to have hired the kid.
	You know, they have to know the kid's going to do it.
	Yeah.
	And I don't think that happened.
	I think he's just a wacko that knew Trump was, you know what I mean?
	Going to be speaking.
	But then it's unbelievable that the Secret Service wasn't able to, like, if people- Yeah, probably.
	Absolutely.
	You know, they're just self-involved with their own bullshit and they weren't focused on the whole thing.
	Either way, you know, I like, you know, at night, you know, I was fucking with you the other night when we were texting each other.
	I said, I got to go.
	I'm going to sleep.
	I'm watching Fox News.
	You know what I mean?
	I just, you know, as a con, I started watching Fox News with my mom.
	She loved it.
	Yeah, she loved it.
	She would just watch Bill O'Look at Bill O'Reilly.
	And then she'd see the Fox News anchors.
	What the fuck is her horse teeth?
	She's got fucking horse teeth, Polly.
	You know, with all the Fox News anchor girls, she'd always get angry.
	What the fuck is she looking at?
	You know what I mean?
	She's got her, she looks like a horse face.
	She would say that.
	She was fucking hilarious.
	So I would always watch the news with her.
	We'd watch CNN.
	We'd watch Fox.
	Any other shows y'all would watch together?
	Comedy shows or anything?
	Tommy would bring over comedians sometimes.
	Tommy, the old talent guy.
	Yeah, he'd bring over comedians.
	What do you think of him?
	You know, shit like that.
	I miss Tommy kind of.
	Yeah.
	What do you mean, kind of?
	I miss him.
	Yeah.
	He was fun.
	He was a great guy.
	He was there when I got there.
	He was such a character.
	You know, how he kind of like.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Well, he was funny because he said he stayed.
	Yeah, him and his girl Steph, they stayed at the Hyatt.
	And he says, well, it seems like the comedy store is calling me.
	It's right down there.
	They want me.
	They want me to run the comedy store.
	Don't you understand?
	Well, that's how it is.
	That's how your mother wanted it, Polly.
	Listen to your mother.
	She's the queen.
	You know what I mean?
	It's pretty cool.
	What do you think of his relationship with your mom?
	What do you think it was like?
	It was good.
	Yeah, it was good.
	I mean, he used to do shit with my mom that you're not supposed to do for someone that you're working.
	He used to carry her up the stairs.
	I mean, she would literally call him up, help me up.
	I can't get up, you know?
	And it was, you know, she would be working the cover booth and then Steve Renazizzi would have to come in and that's when he stole the money.
	But that was another conversation that was supposed to be funny.
	Anyways, all right.
	No, I think it's, yeah, it's like, well, yeah, because I never knew exactly what happened.
	I just knew that.
	so what happened was, is my mom didn't trust a lot of people, right?
	You know, and my mom loved Tommy, you know, because, you know, she, she just, you know, she took to certain people.
	You know, my mom took to certain people and she really liked him and she trusted him.
	So when she couldn't get up the stairs, you know, because she would try to get up the stairs, you know, she would call the store and she'd say, can you help me up the stairs?
	And then he would be like, Mitzi, I can't.
	You know what I mean?
	I'm, I'm, you know, I'm here in the cover booth.
	There's people.
	I need to help up the fucking stairs.
	Let's go.
	And then, and then that's when, you know, Tommy would get Renazizi or someone or someone to sit in Benji or whoever.
	And they'd sit in and then she would go and I would be there and I would like, you know, help.
	Yeah, help bring her up the stairs.
	And then, you know, he would sit with her for a long time and watch the TV and sometimes not even go back to work.
	So he did stuff that you weren't supposed to do as an employee.
	But that's what my mom was.
	That's what the store was.
	The store was always about, you know, helping people.
	And if you stall, you stall.
	That's on you, you know?
	Yeah.
	You know, so.
	And was that ever proven that he did it or something?
	I don't know.
	I wasn't involved.
	Yeah.
	I wasn't.
	Yeah.
	I just heard things and you're like, well, what even happened?
	You know, and you never got to really hear his side of it, I feel like either, you know, but yeah.
	So, but yeah, you know.
	You had, so recently Richard Simmons passed away.
	Yes.
	Was there, were you guys ever ever, because and I know you were trying to do, you did a great video kind of auditioning to play him.
	Yes.
	And did you guys ever come to a like real conclusion?
	Did you ever get to actually talk with him about it?
	I never I reached out to him.
	I've known him since I was little.
	I sent him flowers on Valentine's Day.
	This is a short film.
	Oh, this short film is called court gesture.
	And I love him and I love his story.
	And I want to do his biopic.
	So we did this short film and it did really well for me.
	We were at Park City with it and people just loved it.
	Oh, you're somebody right there.
	Oh, by halfway into this, I believe that it's him.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yes, you guys are doing great.
	Now we're going to do.
	It really seems like him, Pauline.
	That's great.
	Yeah, so.
	And he was from Louisiana, actually.
	Yes, he was.
	Him and his brother Lenny, young.
	And so now, since he's passed, is there a would you still try to do it?
	Like, I don't know if that's against the grain or whatever, or is that just, can his estate hire you to do it?
	Well, here's the deal in reality.
	First of all, I'm just an actor.
	Okay.
	I'm not a lawyer, you know, but from what I, from what I've learned from being in this process, that if you're a public figure, it's called an unauthorized biopic.
	So for instance, they happen every day.
	So, I mean, the Pam and Tommy Hulu special or Hulu or Hulu series was unauthorized.
	Oh, wow.
	You know, they didn't.
	So people can just make it.
	They do stuff all the time that way.
	So as long as you don't do something mean, you know, as long as I do it nice, like this piece is, then I'll be fine.
	So I'm in bed with a producer named Mark Walper, W-O-L-P-E-R, not Wahlberg.
	And he's been in the game for about 50 years, him and his family.
	They have a D-Alt Warner Brothers, and I have a great writer named Jordan Allen Dutton who's writing the script.
	So I'm moving forward with it.
	But my instinct is like, your instinct is get his estate to kind of be involved, you know, give them some money, but we'll see.
	You know, I'm kind of at the place where I just want to make the movie and I just want to kind of do good by him and not defame him.
	And that's kind of my come from from the beginning.
	And it was never about making fun of anything else.
	You know, his Richard saved lives, like his, he saved lives and he helped people.
	And that's kind of where my come from is.
	And at the end of the day, yeah, I'm a comic, but I'm a fucking actor.
	You know what I mean?
	Oh, yeah.
	I've started a lot of movies.
	And that's my main thing.
	And that's why I still sell tickets.
	I don't sell tickets because of my Netflix special or, you know, I sell tickets because of this, because I've touched people with my films.
	And so this lines up.
	It's kind of like God gave me a softball.
	I mean, this is like a really great opportunity for me.
	And I'm going to do it.
	And it's going to happen.
	And we're getting the financing together right now.
	That's kind of where we are in the process.
	But I got a great producer that I've been in bed with on this for about six months.
	And we've got a great writer.
	We've got a great story.
	We've got a great pitch.
	And he's writing the script right now.
	Wow.
	So, yeah, so it's happening.
	Yeah.
	And I think, you know, say if you had passed away and you knew before you passed away, you were like, I don't know if I want this guy to make this thing about me or to be in it.
	And who knows if maybe also Richard Simmons was feeling embarrassed about himself.
	He, you know, sometimes it's like, I just want to go away.
	If he knew he was sick, there's just so many little, but then if you did pass away and then somebody made something that was really honoring you and you got to see it, I wonder how you would feel.
	I feel like I would probably feel like, man, that's pretty cool.
	Yeah, well, that's how I feel.
	You know, I feel that he would see it just like he probably saw this.
	And even touched people's lives.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	And at the end of the day, publicly he came out and he says, I don't.
	Yeah, what did he say?
	He says, I don't approve of Pauly Shore playing me in a biopic.
	And then he says, I want Tom Cruise to play me.
	So obviously.
	So, I mean, you know, that's a funny joke, by the way.
	You know what I mean?
	You know what I mean?
	But here's another thing, Theo.
	Like, how do we know this was even him writing this shit?
	How do we even know he was writing this shit?
	He was a twink that he met at the airport.
	Or one of his handlers.
	You don't fucking know.
	It was probably a twink that he met at the airport.
	Let's be realistic.
	It's LA.
	What does it say?
	I just read that a man that I don't know is writing a script about biopic.
	I do not approve of this movie.
	I'm in talks with the major duty to create my own biopic.
	Meanwhile, he passes.
	Right, so obviously he did.
	You got to read your own room of your life.
	Like, if you're passing away.
	You're not writing that type of stuff.
	No.
	You're fucking worried about trying to live.
	Yeah, dude.
	You're fucking counting T cells, homie.
	You're not over here fucking milling around your teacher.
	So that's another thing.
	I want to get to the bottom.
	I want to get to the bottom line because, you know, I love Richard and I know Richard loves me and I know Richard loves my mom and I know that I don't have a fucking bad bone in my body.
	Yeah.
	And my come from is all about love and, you know, and putting it out in a positive, positive way.
	And I don't know and I don't believe that he's the one that wrote all this stuff that, you know, and if anything, I got him out.
	Meaning like I got him to see, to just speak.
	Yeah.
	Because he had been so released for so long.
	Yeah, people hadn't heard from him in a long time.
	Bring up some of the videos where he helped women lose some weight.
	I mean, he was the first kind of influencer.
	He was like a professional wrestler that never wrestled but danced the fat off of the Midwest and other parts of America.
	And he made it fun.
	Yes.
	The Ellen stuff is great.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, there he is.
	Look at Party Off the Pounds right there.
	I remember my grandmother had Party Off the Pounds, dude, and I would sit and watch her move to this.
	Hilarious.
	Before she hated me, but still.
	Look at him.
	Hey, come dance with me.
	Come dance with me.
	Come on.
	Can you?
	Come dance too.
	Exhale.
	That's it.
	And again, five.
	Oh, it's like teletubbies kind of.
	Because he was chubby too.
	And you know what would happen is he would get involved with a relationship with like an oversized woman.
	And then after the woman lost all the weight, then Richard would just give them the Irish goodbye and just like spatch and just like, peace out.
	Like he only wanted them for their weight?
	Yeah, just kind of wanted them while they were chubby.
	And you're not talking about a sexual relationship.
	No, no, no, no, not at all.
	Just like, you know, helping someone.
	And now he's like, you know, it's kind of like if you were chubby and I helped you and Polly Shirt helped you and then all of a sudden I got you skinny and you're calling me and I'm like, you know, I'm done with you.
	Like on to the next, like Superman.
	On to the next.
	Yeah.
	Needed somewhere else.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And he did do, he did do an Irish goodbye.
	Now he loved man, though.
	I don't know if he did.
	That's a good point.
	Was he ever married?
	Let's look that up.
	No, he never, he never really, you know, he never really was either or.
	That's a good question.
	And maybe he was just like a piece of moon rock or something.
	Where he born Milton Tegel Simmons down there in New Orleans, Louisiana on July the 12th, and he died July the 13th.
	Did you ever see him when you were in Louisiana?
	I never did.
	No?
	I met, I think, one of his great-granddaughters one time somewhere, and she was trying to come to one of your shows?
	Trying to give me a B, J. G, Jay, G. Who knows what was going on?
	But he went to ULL down there, and then he went to Florida State University.
	But no children, it says, I don't think, huh?
	No, he had a whole bunch of dogs.
	That was like his big thing.
	But I remember as a kid growing up, like when Richard Simmons was coming on Letterman or Howard Stern or Ellen, like you would, you would wait.
	You know, like when Letterman was like, yo, come out next is Richard Simmons.
	You're like, oh, fuck.
	And he would come out and he would just kill.
	He would kill harder than a comedian, like on the sofa.
	He brought an energy with him.
	He was a real piece of energy, that man.
	Now, if it's homosexuality, would you be willing to do those type of scenes in it if you had to, to honor him?
	If you were the other guy.
	Oh, sorry.
	Oh, you're talking to me?
	Looks like I just got a part, huh?
	The weasel and the rap, bro.
	This is good.
	That's cross-pollinated.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So you're acting, though, too.
	You're in some movies and stuff, right?
	No.
	What do you like about acting?
	You're trying to not talk about yourself, but that's okay.
	That's sweet of you to change the subject, Paul.
	You do a good job making about other people.
	David Spade and I wrote a movie and we're trying to get financing for it.
	Huh.
	Cool.
	Have you acted a lot?
	Yeah, some.
	I like it.
	I love acting.
	Acting's fucking hard, which I love.
	Well, I mean, dude, in the 90s and early 2000s, you were some people say the biggest star in the world.
	Did you feel like that?
	In my 20s, yeah, I felt like that.
	Because I was doing a lot.
	That's why I said to you at the comedy store, it was like six months ago.
	I said, you're like me back when I was, you know, but you're in your 40s.
	I was in my 20s.
	I can't even imagine.
	Yeah, it was crazy.
	I did albums.
	I did, you know, movies, HBO specials.
	What helped you get your break?
	Do you feel like your mom helped you?
	I don't mean to be rude.
	No, no, that's not rude at all.
	I don't know.
	No.
	No, MTV.
	My mom didn't get me on MTV.
	I got me on MTV.
	Yeah.
	Oh, 100%.
	I mean, they saw me and they're like, fuck, this kid's funny.
	And I got on MTV and it just, it took off.
	And then from there, Jeffrey Katzenberg found me and he was running Disney at the time.
	And he fucking just wrote all these movies for me.
	And they all did well for me.
	Do you remember, like, would they come and see you at the store?
	Did you have to go to meetings?
	What was that like?
	Both.
	Both.
	I had my manager, Michael Rotenberg from 300.
	That's your manager?
	That was your manager?
	Yeah, for eight years.
	Yeah, he was my manager the whole time.
	Michael's a cool dude.
	Really fucking cool.
	That's my homie.
	What's up, Michael?
	What's up, Michael?
	Michael Rotenberg.
	I call him Crisco.
	You do?
	Crisco, because he's so greasy, bro.
	He's so good.
	Rotenberg is cool.
	I like his.
	We have a similar sense of humor.
	Yeah, so he ran my shit.
	Him and Adam Bennett from CAA.
	Yeah, CA ran my stuff for those.
	It was like Willy Wonka.
	I'm sorry I asked you if your mom helped you get it.
	No, I don't care.
	I know this wasn't cool, though.
	Okay.
	Well, you can cut that part out.
	You can leave it in.
	I just feel a little bad.
	I don't know why I said that.
	It's a hard business, and people take whoever can help you sometimes it's good.
	Not that you didn't stand.
	Here's what I meant.
	It's not that you didn't stand on your own talent.
	That's what I mean.
	Yeah.
	I think what we need to do is take a silence.
	You know how if someone dies?
	Yeah.
	You do a silence and then, you know.
	Yeah, and let's put these hats on, too.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, hats in the glasses.
	Just for asking me if my mom got me in the show business.
	Let's just take a time for a.
	Okay.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, let's do five seconds, huh?
	But you got to breathe.
	Think of ayahuasca.
	I know we do that sometimes up in the hills.
	You know, here we go.
	Theo and myself are taking a little moment to get that energy out of the room that he put in there, thinking that my mom, Mitzi Shore, the owner of the biggest comedy club in the world, caught me in my break in the entertainment business.
	Wait, there's still some bad energy.
	Anything, Theo, you want to add?
	BLM, homie?
	Okay, we got it out.
	That was good.
	All right.
	No, but it was just, it was, they saw me do stand-up.
	They saw do, you know, I would MTV.
	All right, but was there a call that you got one day and were like, okay, this is getting fucking crazy?
	Well, after Encino Man came out, and it was a big hit for me.
	And then we rolled in the son-in-law, and it was just like, boom, boom.
	And they brought me around the world.
	You know what I used to do?
	I used to do when I used to when we used to do shows, I used to never have people sitting.
	It was always festival seating.
	So I always had like a band open for me, like the Spin Doctors.
	They would open for me.
	And then I would come out and do 45 minutes, people standing.
	And in between my jokes, I would stage dive.
	Yeah.
	Oh, and then just come back to the stage.
	Exactly.
	I would stage dive.
	I would stage dive and then I would come back and then do more jokes.
	That's kind of how it was.
	But it was called festival seating.
	You remember when as a kid, you go to those concerts where there's no seats?
	Yeah, I love how they call it festival seating.
	There's no seats.
	There's no seats.
	And then we would, and then I'd bring the band back out, and then I would sing songs.
	And I had like this one song that was a hip song on MTV called Lisa Lisa, the one I adore.
	Do you remember it?
	I don't.
	I'm a stony, crusty dew with the mop on top.
	My melons fully tweaked, but I'll never stop.
	Stop trying to wheeze the nuts from coast to coast.
	The ones with the cones are the ones I dig the most.
	Sing Lisa Lisa.
	Lisa Lisa.
	Lisa.
	Stonybody Major.
	Stonybody Major.
	Yeah, that's how we do it.
	I don't remember it, man.
	It sounds pretty good.
	It was pretty cool.
	Did anybody ever remake it?
	There it is.
	Turn that shit up.
	Crank that shit.
	Whoa, turn it loud, bro.
	Fucking lamb mouse.
	Turn it up.
	Look at this shit.
	She's totally clean.
	Here we go.
	Look at this.
	I'm a stony, crusty dude with a mop on top.
	My melon's fully tweaked.
	But I'll never stop.
	Stop trying to weep the knobs.
	Come on.
	The ones with the colour.
	Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Make sure Nita Lisa.
	Oh.
	Bro, it seems like, hold on.
	It seems like I just made this video so you can smash a lot of these shits, bro.
	Be honest, dude.
	No, it was a song based off of my ex-girlfriend.
	Yeah, have you seen the front nuts on that one lady, dude?
	Yeah, she was in the firehouse video.
	Really?
	Remember Firehouse?
	I'd fucking burn a house down to fucking...
	She was.
	Dude, yeah.
	If you put a hose.
	Yeah, I'd hose everything.
	She was cute.
	She seemed like a great woman.
	That's what I mean.
	Yes.
	But yes.
	And did you ever make love to this woman?
	I'm not sure.
	I think we hung.
	Her name was Heather.
	Heather.
	Heather Parkhurst.
	Very, very cool, cool, cool friend.
	Very cool friend.
	Okay.
	She was.
	She was cool.
	I could believe all that.
	Dude, you know where we used to go?
	That was fucking insane.
	Yeah, tell me.
	Holy fuck, dude.
	Let's put our hats on real quick, too.com.
	Fuck, dude.
	It was Don Barris was the host.
	Fuck, what was it called?
	I wonder if it was called the Middle East Evening at the Cerebella Sinking of the Cerebellum.
	No, it was the Ding Dong Show.
	No, not the Ding Dong Show.
	This is way before.
	This was, fuck, I forgot the name.
	It wasn't like Real Torn Wednesdays or something.
	No, it was mud wrestling.
	It was mud wrestling.
	It was the Tropicana.
	Oh, in Vegas?
	No, the Tropicana here in Hollywood.
	It was right off of Hollywood Boulevard.
	But he used to host this thing, and the girls would come out, and it would be mud wrestling.
	And Don hosted it.
	It was fucking hilarious, dude.
	He had Don is Don is.
	Yeah, I wouldn't f ⁇ Don, that's for sure.
	No, but it was a big deal.
	I mean, I bless him.
	I wouldn't fuck him because he's a man.
	That's why.
	But mud wrestling was a big deal back in the 90s.
	That's how it was.
	Do you think Trump will be the next president?
	I don't want to say anything.
	I mean, I don't want to say anything about it.
	I like watching it and just kind of being a fan of the political theater.
	I like just watching it and not know.
	I mean, no one knows what the fuck's going to happen, but I know there's going to be some, it's going to be a real fight.
	It's kind of like UFC fight, but for, you know, because it's basically they're fighting for the most powerful job in the world.
	So they're going to go after each other pretty fucking hard.
	Yeah.
	I mean, and they're completely different.
	I mean, she's like a prosecutor for like sex trafficking or something, isn't she?
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I thought she was an undercover cop or something.
	What was her original job?
	She was a district attorney previously.
	District attorney.
	But didn't she, like, she processed, wasn't she a prosecutor?
	Yes.
	Like, so she would prosecute on behalf of, I think, like the Bay Area.
	Oh, like CSI?
	I don't know.
	Huh?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	But either way, she's not a fan of Trump.
	Right.
	So they're going to, yeah, it's going to be a good battle.
	And he's not a fan of hers.
	So it's going to be fun to watch.
	Did you ever get to party with Trump back in the day anyway?
	I did see him a lot back in the day.
	Yeah.
	What kind of guy did he say?
	Like, if he saw me, he would fucking laugh.
	Yeah.
	Like he'd be like, fuck Pauly Shore.
	He'd be like, you're still alive?
	What the fuck?
	How the fuck are you still around?
	He was cool.
	He was the first time I used to see him was in Daytona Beach.
	And this was back in the 90s.
	And this was when we did spring break for MTV and all that.
	And you had Rodney Dangerfield.
	Vince Neal was down there.
	John Lovitz.
	And Ron Rice was the owner of Hawaiian Tropics.
	That's when the hard tits came out.
	Remember that?
	Yeah.
	Remember when hard-ass tits came out?
	Yeah.
	And Fabio, remember Fabio?
	Yeah.
	He was around.
	That was around like.
	Look at my tits.
	And they look like.
	Yeah.
	Like you went like that.
	It was like.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like if he touched his face, I was like, yeah.
	Like, damn, what are they doing?
	Yeah, and they would, they would lean, they would, like, lean over, and then you'd see these like bags they'd be hanging out.
	Yeah.
	And they would look like, yeah, it was like, um, it was almost like somebody was like, had made them out of like dish gloves or something.
	Like they were like.
	Right.
	Like if you put, if you pulled a shirt on them on him, you can hear him like.
	It was just like, damn, bitches are plastic, bro.
	Yeah.
	This one girl I was dating, this one girl, her boobs started moving, bro.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, this one, he wound up on her back.
	And it was cool, though, because when I was doing behind doggy style, they're right there, bro.
	Easy access.
	Chinese.
	Chinese is cool.
	Chinese is cool.
	It's cool.
	So, yeah, so that's right.
	Some of that is the moon, too, wherever the moon is.
	That's what's neat about some of those women.
	Wherever the moon is, that's where their tits will go.
	Yeah.
	And that's beautiful.
	A lot of you guys know we started off with our first advertiser ever was Gray Block Pizza.
	Get that hitter, baby.
	And the owner of Gray Block Pizza, my friend Thomas, evolved his business up in Oregon to start Blue Cube Baths.
	And he sent me one, and it's absolutely beautiful.
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	Blue Cube Baths.
	What I love is you can set that temperature, get it down to, I mean, it might just, you might be able to ice skate in there.
	I haven't put it that low, but you can set it to a place where you feel comfortable.
	I'll get in around 50 degrees for about 10 or 12 minutes.
	And that's what really sets me and activates me.
	I've done it before podcasts to really put me in, just put me in my body and put me in the moment.
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	That's right.
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	So follow them at BlueCube Baths.
	And we wish them the best of luck and thank them for supporting the podcast so early on.
	But yeah, I would see him at the Daytona Beach, like the Hawaiian Tropic.
	What did he seem like?
	This is my number one thing about Donald Trump, right?
	I've met him a few times, but not had a chance to really engage with him, right?
	So you get an idea of him, but you're always like, well, what is he like?
	Like, you know, like you, if I never got to talk to you, I would have, you know, some general thoughts, but I wouldn't really know, well, what is he like?
	Like, do you know what he's like?
	Like, is he like a business guy?
	Is he just like a fun guy that plays tennis?
	Like, I think I wish I knew more about how he is.
	Does that make any sense?
	Yeah.
	No, I never had those type of conversations where I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember one time we talked about this.
	It was always like, kind of like when I'd see Hugh Hefner.
	I would never really engage in a conversation with him.
	I'd always kind of wave, shake his hand.
	You know what I mean?
	So with Trump, it was like the same.
	Do you miss those parties over there?
	Was that fun?
	It was fun because it was before the whole social media thing.
	But it's kind of like even driving down Sunset Boulevard now, it's fucking depressing.
	You know, the store's the only thing that's fucking popping.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, a lot of shit is just fucking.
	Yeah, but you drive down sunset on a Saturday night.
	There's nothing.
	It's just tumbleweed.
	People don't go out.
	People don't go out anymore because people are scared.
	They don't want to be around the photos and the videos.
	And you know what I mean?
	So the parties are in the house.
	People stay in.
	And also COVID as well, people shifted and stayed in that.
	Unlike if you go to Texas or Florida where people don't give a fuck.
	Oh, the second I got to Tennessee, yeah, people were spitting in each other's mouths.
	Yeah.
	You know what I'm saying?
	That kind of shit America's about, you know?
	Yeah.
	Cycling.
	But here in LA, it's just like, it's, you know, it's that.
	Yeah.
	The word is joy.
	There's not a lot of joy in Hollywood anymore.
	There's no like fun.
	Although Silver Lake, Echo Park, Los Felis, those are fucking fun, dude.
	Like that whole area, East Hollywood is fucking, it's fun.
	Yeah, it is interesting that Hollywood, it's kind of quieter now.
	Yeah.
	And even when I went to- They're not going out.
	Or they moved.
	They moved.
	And even just in your life, have you seen it just change so much?
	I think after COVID, you know, after COVID and all that, that whole, it just shifted into, you know, a different time.
	Because when Rogan and them were at the store, that was crazy, too.
	Remember that?
	I mean, you go on a Tuesday night, bro, and it was insane.
	Yeah.
	Here's a video.
	Do you see how bad Hollywood is?
	What is this?
	This is a guy saying how bad it is in Hollywood.
	It's fun.
	It's not joyful.
	He's talking about just the industry and what they're making right now.
	So I wonder if that's not.
	It's bad here in Hollywood.
	And now we have some numbers to back it up.
	Film LA has just released their report on on location and stage-based production data.
	Let's take a look at what this means.
	Production in LA is down, way, way, way down.
	From just last year, feature films are down 3.3% versus a five-year average.
	As we know things were bad already, it is 23.8% down.
	Commercials are even worse over a five-year average, 36.1% down.
	Television is down 45.8%.
	Crazy.
	And whatever other is down 20%.
	So like industrial Films, short films, just everything.
	Reality TV looks insane.
	The purple line here is reality.
	There's COVID.
	There's the strike.
	There's where reality TV is in LA right now.
	So, as you can see, just across the board, everything is down.
	All in all, versus a five-year average, production shoot days in Los Angeles, California, the home of the film industry, are down 33.4%.
	Wow.
	So I got a little curious when I went to the Bureau of Labor Statistics to get the numbers on unemployment rates in the motion picture and television industry.
	Now, they do lump the sound recording industries in with this, but as you can see, it's not good.
	That is a 16.1% unemployment rate in the motion picture and television industry.
	And that is from June.
	So that is not counting the massive layoffs that just occurred again at Warner Brothers Discovery.
	And it's definitely not counting all the concepts.
	Yeah, but so, I mean, just interesting.
	And I'm not saying all this is like exact, but I was just, I saw this the other day and I was like, wow, yeah, I wonder if there's just not as many people here as well.
	Well, it's also the business has shifted.
	Yeah.
	You know, the business has shifted to this.
	I mean, look how many millions of people watch you doing this.
	You know what I mean?
	So it's not, you know, everything.
	And look at the OnlyFans girls.
	I mean, you probably know a lot of women that, you know, back in the day, if you're a pretty girl and you had to come to LA, you're Maxim, Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, FHM.
	And that was it.
	You had to get in one of those.
	Now no one needs those.
	And now you got all these influencers doing and making money.
	So everything has shifted, you know?
	So I think since 2015, 16, 17, you know, the business has shifted.
	And then guys like Mark Wahlberg moved to Vegas.
	So they're trying to do a whole studio out there.
	They make their own things.
	Yeah, doing their own thing.
	So people are saying like, hey, you don't need to live in LA.
	And especially because everyone's in a Zoom world now.
	You know, one goes to fucking meetings anymore.
	I feel bad for people that own office buildings.
	I mean, think about it.
	I mean, how big of a nut is that CAA building?
	You've been in there.
	Yeah.
	It's fucking massive.
	It's huge in there.
	You know how much that there is for rent?
	And the agent's probably like, I don't feel like going in.
	I'm going to get sick or I'm going to stay home.
	And they just let them.
	Look at that.
	Yeah.
	And then a lot of new agencies kind of started up when social media started because, or when TikTok and people popped off on Instagram, they joined like groups like Shots.
	Have you heard of them?
	Who owned Shots or who started Shots?
	S-H-O-T-S.
	But it's the Wild West.
	But that became like the agency.
	It was like a new, you know what I'm saying?
	Because CA and they weren't even on board, you know, different agencies weren't even seeing this sort of thing.
	Yeah, so I mean, you know, Shotz Podcast Network.
	Shots Podcast Network is a company, oh, founded by John Shahidi.
	I didn't even know that.
	And Sam Shahidi, I know these guys.
	The company was originally founded as a software development company in 2009.
	And November 2019, Spotify announced a suite of podcasts and included a partnership with Shots Podcast Network.
	But yes, groups like Shotz became the representatives for a lot of talent.
	And so they weren't even working with the agents, you know, the original agencies anymore, the big agencies.
	Yeah.
	You know, it's – It's completely changed.
	Yeah, the other day someone's like, you want to be in a movie?
	And I was like, is it going to be 40 seconds long?
	And is it going to be on TikTok?
	Yeah.
	Kids can't even watch a movie without taking a pill now.
	Some kids.
	They're like, mom, give me two pills.
	I'm going to watch a movie.
	Give me a half a cup.
	No, I can't.
	That's the same with me.
	I got to have a pill when I watch my movies.
	No, but it's true.
	Like, you know, you watch, you know, you're watching the news, and then you're watching your Netflix, then you're on your Instagram and you're looking at your thing.
	It's fucked up, but it is the way it is.
	It's like, he's got us.
	Steve Job got us.
	He won, huh?
	Yeah, he got us.
	I mean, we're basically, we're this.
	And it's just the way it is.
	You know what I mean?
	And the wildest part, Paulie, I think one thing is that some people for years have been like, you think we'll live forever?
	You think it'll be a time where we'll live forever?
	And now I do, but it's not in the way we think.
	It's going to be in a digitized way.
	It's like eventually from this episode alone, they'll be able to make a you and a me that can exist in some virtual world where you could talk to us anytime.
	This is good.
	We could be in Japan tomorrow.
	Oh, yeah.
	This is good.
	Sona.
	Saying.
	You know, it's about the numbers.
	It's about the eyeballs.
	You know, you, Joe, Tony, Shane Gillis, you know, all these guys, like, you fucking tapped into it.
	You know what I mean?
	I mean, you don't need all that shit because at the end of the day, everyone's coming after you now.
	I mean, they see the tickets you're selling.
	They see the numbers that this is.
	You know what I mean?
	It's fucking crazy.
	Like, if you wanted to start on your own Theo Vaughn series, like fucking everybody, what's the guy?
	Everybody loves Randy or whatever?
	Yeah, the Randy Redwood.
	No, the fucking.
	Rick Springfield in it?
	Who was in it?
	No, you know what I'm saying.
	What the fuck?
	The tires?
	No, the guy.
	No, not.
	No, no, the guy that started in the Christmas movies.
	Oh, I know you're talking about.
	Ernest Quick.
	No, Ernest Saves Christmas.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, put up Ernest.
	Ernest Saves Christmas.
	You're the next guy.
	Let me produce these movies.
	It'll be nice.
	There you go.
	See, this is what you got to do.
	Come on.
	This will be.
	Dude, you're the modern day fucking Ernest.
	No, that guy was a BLM activist, dude.
	Look at this guy.
	How great would this be?
	We could do fucking Theo saves Christmas.
	Theo fucking goes to, you know, on the.
	Theo saves $40, too.
	Chinese, go to his IMDb.
	Yeah, here we go.
	See, we could just take your head out, take your head out and put your fucking, his head out and put your like, what is this?
	Ernest saves Christmas, Ernest goes to camp.
	So just change the name.
	Fucking Theo saves Christmas.
	Theo goes to jail.
	Ernest goes to rehab, I could do.
	Ernest goes to detox.
	Dude, I would do a series of these, bro.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Ernest and remedial reading.
	Dude, we can go.
	Ernest goes to court.
	Ernest goes to Africa.
	Theo goes to Africa.
	Theo goes to the army.
	This is you, bro.
	Ernest goes to Africa.
	Ernest goes to the AIDS clinic, dude, dude, probably.
	I'm guessing, and no Offense to Africa.
	Those are rumors, and a lot of that's on Reddit.
	So, what do you think?
	I mean, this is, we can just, can you guys, can you guys photoshop Theo's head on top of his head?
	Well, that's the thing.
	Polly, they're just going to be able to, as long as they license you or whatever, they can put you in a movie, dude.
	But yeah, but we got to do it for you.
	You're hot right now.
	This could be good.
	Scroll up to the top.
	Yeah, you don't want to fucking do a David Spade movie.
	Do that fucking Theo's Scared of Stupid.
	Theo's Scared and Stupid is perfect.
	I mean, you can just do your face.
	Put his face back up there.
	Put his dumb face.
	Dude, can you do blackface in the future?
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	We don't want to do that here.
	Put his face back up.
	Wow, dude.
	Look at this.
	Wait, here we go.
	At least we should be able to do Native American face, right?
	Yeah, see this guy.
	Do this face right here.
	Do it.
	Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
	Hold on.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that's a fucking hit, dude.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	What do you mean?
	You got to do a series of movies.
	This is great.
	It's perfect timing.
	I don't know, man.
	Go straight to you.
	I'm here each week.
	But maybe, I don't know.
	I mean, the thing about space, I noticed it's like, this is what I heard about movies.
	It's fun if you're with your friends, dude.
	And if you have to be somewhere, stuck somewhere for a while and it's not your friend or you want to sit there every night and have dinner with, then it just seems like it's not as fun, you know?
	Yeah.
	That's why I could never be in that movie because Dave's in it.
	Really?
	We're not friends.
	Y'all aren't?
	No, fuck that guy.
	No, I'm just kidding.
	No, he's my friend.
	I met him.
	You know, I met him.
	I did a movie with George Burns.
	No way.
	From The Gods Must Be Crazy?
	No, it's called 18 Again.
	George Burns.
	You remember George Burns?
	The Gods Must Be Crazy, wasn't he?
	The old guy.
	Here, put up George Burns.
	18 Again, right there.
	So this is George Burns.
	This was my first movie ever.
	George Burns was a comedian back in the day.
	Oh, he knew he was George Burns.
	You looked about 98 years old.
	Yeah, that guy.
	So I did this movie.
	See this guy on the left?
	His name's Charlie Schlaughter.
	So I played Charlie Schlaughter's best friend in 18 Again.
	Yeah, so that's when I met George Burns, and that's when I met David Spade, because David Spade was best friends with Charlie Schlaughter.
	So I've known David Spade since I was 19. Wow.
	David's, I mean, how has he always had so much luck with the ladies?
	Be honest, man.
	I don't know.
	He's sexy.
	Oh, David's a close friend of mine.
	I think he's handsome.
	He's one of the funniest guys.
	Yes.
	But how did he get so much?
	I mean, there's a lot of guys that are like that.
	Not like him.
	He's special.
	But how did he, the guy's, you know?
	Yeah, he's good.
	He's like the David Copperfield of straight dudes, man.
	Yeah, he's a gorgeous man.
	Yeah.
	He's a gorgeous man.
	Well, is that true?
	There you go.
	See?
	Ernest, or put, we got to put Theo goes to school, though.
	Yeah, these guys are fired.
	Yeah.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Look, bro, they have one job they left Ernest on the thing.
	Damn.
	I'm checking.
	I'm checking, man.
	Oh, put Theo goes to BLM rally, too, dude.
	Oh, fucking roll up, dude.
	I say we do a series of fucking Ernest movies and just change it to Theo and just do the same fucking script.
	No one's going to know.
	The kids aren't going to remember this fucking guy.
	Dude, most people can't even see that far.
	How far can people see usually?
	What do you mean?
	I'm just saying, like, how far can somebody see?
	The average sight distance for a person with normal vision is about three miles.
	Get fucked, dude.
	When standing on a flat surface with their eyes about five feet above the ground.
	That is bullshit.
	I thought it was like 70 feet or something.
	Why are you asking this question?
	I'm not sure exactly, I guess.
	We were just talking about David Spade, average read.
	Oh, whatever, man.
	We'll move it along.
	When Bobby Lee came, what was that like when you saw him first?
	Because a lot of people, you know, are like, what is it?
	You know?
	He was just adorable.
	You remember him?
	Yeah, I discovered him.
	You know, I discovered him.
	I didn't know.
	You didn't know that.
	I didn't.
	Yeah, yeah.
	No, I found him.
	Where'd you see him at?
	Panda Express.
	He was getting some onja chicken.
	No, I saw him naked at a Korean spa.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, for real.
	I saw him at a, he's from San Diego.
	Yeah.
	It was a retaliation.
	Yeah, a restaurant called Brockton Villa, and he was like a server there.
	And I was there with my mom.
	I think I was there with my mom or my brothers or something.
	And I said, yo, you're fucking hilarious.
	Come to the comedy store.
	So I got him a gig at the comedy store.
	He was taking tickets.
	In La Jolla?
	Yeah, in La Jolla, the comedy store there.
	And you just thought he was funny from the interactions.
	Yeah, just because he was adorable.
	And then he started taking tickets at the La Jolla room.
	And then he started going up on open mic night.
	And then I would see him down there.
	And every time I'd come down there and play, you know, I'd kind of put him up in front of me.
	And then eventually I took him on the road.
	And then he became a paid regular at the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas when my mom was there to see me.
	And he opened for me at the Riviera Hotel in the late 90s.
	And then, and that's when my mom made him a paid regular.
	She says, you're funny.
	You can work the store.
	Right then.
	Yeah.
	And then I discovered, yeah.
	That's awesome.
	You did all that for him.
	Yeah.
	And then he opened for me for eight years.
	He toured with me for eight years, opened for me on the bus and the whole thing.
	Kind of like Ari.
	Yeah.
	You know, Amir, they opened for you.
	He just opened for me.
	We did merch.
	I got videos of him, fucking chicks.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's fucking great.
	I'm going to release him the next time he's got something coming out, you know?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Oh, this was Guesthouse.
	Wow.
	So you guys went through all that together.
	What was he like then?
	And was he, what ethnicity was he?
	Because people were like, he's Korean.
	He's not Korean?
	I don't know.
	Bring up Korea.
	You think he's from like Thailand or something?
	I don't know.
	He looks more like Osakan to me or whatever.
	Huh.
	But I don't know.
	Yeah, so, you know, so I've written some scripts with him.
	I got a great script called Captured where I capture him and put him in a cage in my backyard.
	Oh, yeah.
	And we did this.
	He's done a lot of stuff with me.
	He's in guest house.
	Back there feeding him pine nuts.
	He's an interesting guy, you know?
	Yeah, nice.
	He's one of a kind.
	Would he sleep All day back then, or was he more of a morning person?
	Because he's devolved into a nighttime.
	He's awake like five hours a day.
	You know, it's definitely very specific style of living.
	Yeah, he, I don't know, he would, he would hide from me a lot.
	He'd always hide from me.
	One time he cried on the road with me.
	He cried because I wanted to, it was, we were in Detroit.
	That'll do it.
	No, no, we were in Detroit and the road manager gives everyone their hotel keys, you know, so Bobby goes to his key and I just followed him to his room.
	And he's like, what are you doing?
	I'm like, I'm staying with you tonight.
	You know, I'm going to stay with you in the room.
	And he wasn't into that.
	And I'm like, no, dude, because I don't have anyone.
	I'm lonely.
	I don't want to go back to my room by myself.
	Yeah.
	And I, you know, then he started crying.
	And then when he cried, I just left.
	But, you know.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's definitely.
	And the crazy thing about him crying, it's like one tear gets in his eye.
	And it's.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He's doing great now, too.
	It's full.
	But again, I told him, I said, dude, it's going to happen for you.
	He was always neurotic.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Well, yeah.
	He was, you know, before his podcast, he was just trying to figure, he wasn't, he barely was selling out comedy clubs.
	Wow.
	You know what I mean?
	I've always, he's one guy who could never change a word from his set.
	And I would still funny every single day.
	There's just.
	Actually, when he walks up, it's already the, the setup is already there.
	Yeah.
	And not in a negative way.
	The setup is already there.
	Yeah, no, I love Bobby.
	Bobby is very close with him.
	I do see him at the Korean spa sometimes.
	He gets really fucking freaked out when I go again.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	He showed his butthole to some kids somewhere.
	I don't know where that was at.
	I'm trying to remember if I don't know if there's a video of that.
	There's definitely a drawing of it.
	Yeah, but he's a good dude, you know?
	He's good.
	Yeah, he's doing good.
	You know who else is doing good?
	Hey, Suz Trejo.
	He's doing good, too.
	He's always been so funny.
	Yeah.
	So he opened for me for eight years too.
	Dang.
	Eight years, yeah.
	A lot of these guys.
	Eight years on.
	But Shafir opened for me.
	Rick Ingram opened for me.
	All these guys.
	Yeah, it's cool.
	I love bringing those guys out on the street.
	Yeah, that's one cool thing about the store is just like, it's just, I don't know.
	Once you get in there and you make your way through and you've been there for a while and you know who's who and you kind of you develop your own little relationship with the space and the people you love to see and people come and go and the people that work there and it's like it is just such a universe you know we're lucky to be able to have a workplace that has a lot of joy and like different people at it and you it's fun like imagine you get to go to work and it's actually you can say what you want you're encouraged there's no real hr in fact hr is like hr is encouraging
	you to fucking say crazier yeah i never thought about that man that's such a crazy blessing dude do you think your mother felt uh very achieved with her with the comedy club yeah i mean she's you know and that's you know the way the way that it's still the way that it's left right now is exactly how she left it which is awesome you know she just put her stamp on it just leave it alone don't with it and you know and just like you know the rooms are set up
	the way they're and different than the laugh actor different than the improv different vibes those are great clubs um but you know she she kind of created the black and the red and all that stuff and you know and created that space so you know it's pretty tight yeah it's yeah you wouldn't want it to change was there ever a chance that it was going to be sold at some point um i don't know i don't think we'd ever sell it you know what i mean i think just kind of leave it it's you know it's it's got to be a uh uh what's it called a hollywood or a landmark or
	a what's it called grandfather what's it called oh yeah it's like a uh historical landmark yeah historical landmark yeah at some point huh yeah i think so so yeah it's a good point i remember somebody i don't know if i saw a drawing somewhere that a hotel had drawn around it they were gonna build and leave it intact as is on the ground and build up and just you know it was like a 20-story hotel and it would be right under exactly the same remember seeing a somebody had put that together i don't know if it was an art
	yeah i think it was an architect drawing i don't know if it was actually considered at one point but i thought i remembered seeing that somewhere um what uh when you um when you look at your life and like maybe having a family do you have any children my dog that's like scott your brother has the same huh scott's got a dog you know he's got a dog um yeah i got a dog um i don't know i mean that's a whole other podcast okay that's like a fucking you know what i mean we'll do it yeah we'll talk about it all the time
	that's a good point you know what i mean that's a whole there you go that's my dog buster oh that's cute yeah when you look at guys like brodie stevens right who have had who what a shock was that is that do you feel like things like that happen with suicide amongst comedians and stuff it happens i mean jack knight remember jack knight who is that bring up jack knight who is he so funny great energy you remember jack knight
	remember seeing him yeah i think two years ago he took his life huh i mean one of the funniest young men heartbreaking um yeah sometimes it's it's hard to get your mind to just relax you know what i mean and i think it's important it sounds kind of corny but i think it's really important that everyone focuses on what they have as opposed to what they don't have and i think that is like the key you know like you got to focus
	on your blessings you know um as opposed to you know yeah because the other way is a trap because there's no end to you can like yeah focusing on what you don't have and try it's a i mean i fall i fall into it all the time you know but it's just a it's such a trap or wanting more and then not even enjoying the saddest thing i think is sometimes when i look back on certain moments in my life and i'm like man i wish i had enjoyed that a little more just by being present or just By sitting there quietly or
	by letting it in, yeah, letting it in, yeah.
	And so, what are you doing with all your money?
	I've been saving some money, some I mean, fuck everyone sees the arenas like you fucking top arenas, dude, Segura, fucking those guys have been making some money, dude.
	I mean, what do you, I mean, Jesus Christ, dude, I wouldn't know what to do with that.
	I mean, it's crazy.
	You got to put it away, bro.
	Oh, I see.
	I mean, you don't spend on yourself just like me.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	You got a Jeep or, yeah, I got a Jeep Cherokee.
	Like, I don't like.
	I've never been that guy either.
	I felt embarrassed invited to my apartment when I was a kid because I was ashamed of it.
	And I feel embarrassed sometimes.
	I have a house in Nashville.
	It's not a, it's a nice home.
	I'm not, and it's, it's not like an estate or anything.
	But I feel ashamed even sometimes showing that.
	It's like, I just, I don't know.
	Yeah, I'm trying to rent out my house now too.
	Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful home.
	Yeah, I'm trying to rent out the house with all that.
	What's that like?
	Terracotta.
	Yeah, terracotta tile.
	No, just because it's like you said, like, I'm just one guy with my dog.
	You know, and then I have a condo in Vegas.
	You know, I kind of.
	Yeah, you live there a lot.
	Yeah, I stock you at the resorts world.
	So my, I see your poster there all the time.
	So I, I, I, you know, it's right there.
	So I have like a one-bedroom condo and I got all my shit there.
	And it feels more comfortable than my house in L.A. Yeah.
	Because, you know, I'm just one guy.
	You know, the older you get, the realize the less you need.
	I don't want to be that guy that's by himself with his dog in this big house.
	You know what I mean?
	So I just don't like, I don't like living in a big house.
	You know, it's not who I am.
	Yeah, some things that are kind of, this is kind of fucking emo and sad and is definitely going to be accused of light homosexuality.
	But yeah, like sometimes I'll lay in bed at night and like just the space in my bed, it feels fucking lonesome, you know?
	But then sometimes if a girl wanted to stay over, I'd be like, I don't know if I like having somebody stay over.
	Right.
	So it's like I just sleep in the other room.
	Yeah, yeah.
	No, if a girl stays at night, I'm like, I'm going to go peace out in the other room.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	And then, but, but when you sleep alone at night, what do you do?
	What do you, how do you sleep?
	Okay, here's what I do.
	So first I wash my face, brush my teeth, put in my retainers, put on a breathe right strip on my nose, right?
	Okay.
	I want all those.
	Is that from all the Coke?
	I don't know what it's from.
	It could be just from having a big nose.
	It could be from cocaine.
	It could be a mix of things.
	It could be from Satan.
	Who knows what happened?
	So you put the stuff on here.
	Put the thing on and then I'll lay down, put a pillow between my legs, get another pillow that I hold on to, set the air conditioner at 69 because I don't want to be too crazy.
	And I'll pee.
	I will pee right before I go to sleep and hope I don't have to pee all night.
	That's my goal is to not have to pee on.
	And then what about sleep medication?
	Be honest.
	Yep.
	I'll take a couple melatonin chewies.
	Yeah.
	And then I'll take a, there's a pill from my doctor.
	It's a Xanax?
	No, no.
	Ambient?
	No, it's so light.
	It's like fucking, it's just basically like a little queer nugget.
	I mean, this thing wouldn't, it'll barely do it.
	And then why is it that you think you need to take the melatonin and this pill from the doctor?
	Wait, stop.
	Wait three seconds to answer.
	Think about it.
	Why do you have to take that in order to sleep?
	Is it a psychological thing?
	Do you really feel like it really mellows you out or do you think that it mellows you out?
	I think it mellows me out.
	Really?
	And I got to shut it down.
	Especially after a show, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	Fuck.
	And right now I am, I think I'm 64 days off of masturbation and 60 days off of porn.
	64 days off pornography and 57 days off of masturbation.
	So then you were doing it a lot?
	Not a lot, but I had done it for countless years, yeah.
	Yeah, but back when you were young, even in your 40s, you're jerking off all the time?
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Don't you like to save your cum?
	I mean, yeah, I like to store up a rent or whatever, I guess.
	I don't know, but it's like.
	Yeah, because if you're going to come with a chick, you want a lot to come out.
	I don't want her to get crazy.
	You know, I don't want her to be like, God, we got to, you know, you're ruining the curtains.
	When you have sex with a girl, do you put a condom on or she put it on and she tells you to put it on?
	Look, if people want to use a condom, we let them use them, you know?
	Who's we?
	What the fuck we are, Your Honor?
	We are, okay?
	Talk to my attorney, right?
	And then sometimes you put it in, and then they're like, yo, you're having sex with girls without condoms?
	You're like, oh, what are you talking about?
	That's fucking right.
	They know what you're talking about.
	I don't know what you're talking about either, bro.
	That's why this is going a different way.
	Okay.
	How long were your parents separated?
	Do you remember?
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	We're not going to my fucking parents all of a sudden.
	We're talking about you fucking your pillow.
	Dude, you remember the first time you ever had sex or something?
	Wait, wait, wait, wait.
	Let's go back to a sleep situation.
	Okay.
	We're going back three seconds.
	I lay in there.
	I got all my stuff.
	Oh, and then I'll put stuff in my hair to try and keep my hair healthy.
	So just like type of – There's like a foam you can get online.
	What about Propecia?
	I take Finasterod.
	I take Propetia.
	Oh, yeah.
	You take the store balt one.
	I take the freelance one or whatever.
	What's the freelance one?
	It's the one that you can get out the guy's van or whatever down there.
	Oh, wow.
	Finasterod.
	Oh, I should get some of it.
	Is it a pill?
	It's the same thing you're taking.
	It's just the generic version.
	When you're rich, why don't you get the real Propecia?
	Yeah, but I'm fucking used to just the off-market pills.
	What about the generic sialis?
	Oh, dude, I took the stuff from India for a while.
	It makes my legs sweat.
	So generic sialis?
	It was just like an Indian.
	Did you take the sialis or the Viagra?
	It was just that fucking ramp maker from India, baby.
	That thing will fucking...
	Really?
	Oh, you could fucking knit a scarf with that thing, bro.
	What's it called?
	That thing will whistle for a cab, baby.
	It was a website.
	It went under.
	It was off this gambling site or whatever, but I used to get them.
	It would take forever to get the pills.
	They'd come in this package and they had like – Yeah.
	Who's your masseuse?
	You don't have to tell me the guy's name or the girl's name.
	It's a man.
	So, yeah, he comes over to the house with the table?
	No, no, no, I go to his place.
	It's off Westwood Boulevard.
	Why don't you have him come to your house with the table?
	I got a guy, dude.
	He's strong as fuck.
	No, I got a guy.
	He's great.
	Dude, I don't need some guy to come over and touch me, dude.
	You know what I'm saying, bro?
	What, touching at your house is different than touching at a fucking his facility?
	Who gives a fuck?
	You think I'm fucking Protestant or something, dude?
	I'm good, bro.
	I'd rather at least drive.
	I can leave.
	Otherwise, I have to tell the guy to...
	Really?
	No.
	Huh?
	No, dude.
	Even if he's a professional masseuse and he just came from David Geffen's house.
	Dude, a professional masseuse is just some guy that printed something off the internet, dude.
	No, I got a guy who's really strong.
	Really strong.
	Okay, but how about this?
	And he comes to my house and he has a table and he's coming at night because I'm flying to Raleigh tomorrow.
	So I want to get a little bit of tissue before.
	But you tell me this.
	Say you go look online.
	We have nobody.
	I don't look online.
	Okay.
	I don't look online from Masusas.
	No way.
	No, I just get it from a referral.
	You ask a homie that's like, hey, do you know anything about, oh, yeah, this girl, she's really strong, da-da-da-da.
	And you ask someone, you just get it that way.
	You're right.
	I got a strong guy coming to the house.
	Okay, okay.
	You win, dude.
	Look, look, I like going to see this guy.
	I will say this.
	My guy is.
	Where's your house?
	Where do you live?
	I live in Nashville, but in Westwood.
	So you have a place out in Westwood?
	I have an apartment in Westwood, yeah.
	Okay, I'll send him to your house for me.
	I'll buy a masseuse for you.
	I'll buy the masseuse for you, and then go do it, and then tell me if you fucking like it.
	Okay.
	And he's strong as fuck.
	Is he?
	Very strong.
	I want very strong.
	I want somebody who just.
	Yeah, no, he'll get in there.
	He's fucking good, dude.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I'll do that.
	Yeah, for you.
	My present for you.
	Yes, because at the end of the day, you're up there on stage, you're traveling, you're making people laugh.
	You got to take care of your shoulders.
	What about the spa?
	You go to the Russian bathhouse?
	But I do start getting steam room.
	Now I do do that.
	Yeah.
	So the Korean spa.
	I do start getting steam room now, and it's good.
	I went to school.
	Yeah, you have to.
	I didn't realize I needed to take care of myself.
	Dude, I do all the time.
	I go five days a week.
	Fuck, I didn't know that.
	Dude, I fucking, it killed me, dude.
	My hair got thin, all kinds of stuff, because I wasn't taking care of myself.
	I just didn't know.
	Yes.
	And in Vegas, there's a place called Imperial Spa.
	Who have heard of that?
	Yeah.
	And it's good.
	It's Korean spa.
	But also, there's all those spas in the cold plunge and all that shit.
	Yeah.
	You got to do that.
	I got a cold plunge at home.
	My friend makes a good cold plunge, and he gave me one as a gift.
	And he was my first sponsor ever on my podcast.
	He used to own a pizza place here.
	Oh, wow.
	My friend Thomason used to run a place called Gray Block Pizza, and then he moved to Bend, Oregon, and started making cold plunges.
	Yeah, out there with his buddies.
	Beautiful.
	Yeah, because it's all about sweating.
	What about the workout?
	What do you do with that?
	I'm going to get a trainer.
	Two days a week, and then I'll go myself probably one or two days a week.
	I'll do a little bit of yoga, too.
	Stretch lab?
	Do you go to get stretched?
	No, I do my own yoga.
	That's good.
	Chiropractor?
	No, but I need to go this morning.
	I was looking at myself.
	I was like, I got a good chiropractor out here, too.
	Really?
	Really good.
	Yeah, I was looking at my body in the mirror.
	I was like, Jesus, what is that?
	It just seemed like it was like fucking like it was like.
	Yeah.
	You got to do that shit.
	My whole body looks good.
	You know what?
	I'm like 10 years older than you.
	Yeah.
	So it's like, you know, this is the age where you got to start stretching.
	Yeah, that's the most important thing and sweating.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Do it all.
	Yeah, I'm starting to learn a little bit more of that.
	Now you can only get kind of so famous, right?
	Like fame is different now.
	It feels like everybody's pretty popular kind of.
	Everybody is, yeah.
	Because there's so much stuff to see quickly.
	It used to be you had to go see a movie and then those people would be famous.
	But now in the time it would take you to watch a movie, you can look at 200 different people and all of them have a level of achievement to you.
	Do you feel like you got fame at like the best time?
	Yeah, I mean, I think it was the last great decade of it.
	I mean, if you look at the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, that was all kind of similar.
	And then once reality shows hit, you know, the real world, I think that was like the first reality show, which was in like in the mid-90s.
	Yeah.
	I think that's when things got fucked up.
	But yeah, no, it was, you know, it was pretty.
	That's so crazy.
	You know?
	Like, did you ever get to party with like Michael Jackson?
	No, I met him once.
	You did?
	Yeah, I met him once, but it wasn't like we hung out.
	It was just like a high type thing.
	But I mean, back in the MTV days, I met a lot of, you know.
	But do you remember the sound of his voice or anything or no?
	Hi.
	Hi, what's going on?
	Hi, Paulie.
	I like your music video show.
	It's very cute.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	He was fucking amazing.
	Yeah.
	I mean, God.
	Yeah.
	I was like meeting him.
	You know, you look at guys like Bruno Mars, super talented, but not Michael Jackson.
	Yeah.
	Or Prince.
	You know, these guys were like, you know, another level.
	Yeah.
	And they had a level of mystery and there was like.
	Yeah.
	But.
	Yeah, there was just so much.
	I don't know.
	But also MTV was the biggest thing in the world.
	Yeah, it was the biggest thing in the world.
	It was kind of like the only thing between the kids watched, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you're watching MTV?
	Come over.
	Let's watch MTV.
	Yeah, let's watch MTV.
	That's crazy.
	Remember TRL?
	Oh, yeah.
	Total Request Live.
	And who was the host on it?
	Carson Daly, yeah.
	Carson Daly, dude.
	And he would toss to like Britney Spears or Corn, Limp Biscuit.
	Wyclef.
	Yeah, this was like one of the last great erasers.
	Britney Spears.
	You ever get to party with her?
	Not really.
	No, not really.
	She's in her own thing.
	She did steal my table recently in Las Vegas.
	Oh, she showed up at a club?
	Oh, no.
	I was having dinner at Catch in Vegas over at the ARIA.
	And I went to the bathroom.
	And then she fucking, I guess, she hit some security guy.
	And then she went in.
	And then I come back to my fucking table.
	And she's sitting in my table.
	By herself?
	No, she's with her boyfriend or husband.
	Yeah, look at this right here.
	She keeps getting different husbands or whatever.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So, look, she touches this guy.
	The security hits her in the face.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	And then she runs into the catch.
	And I didn't care.
	You know what I mean?
	It's not like I'm get out of my table.
	But she ran to catch because she was probably embarrassed.
	Yeah.
	And she went in there.
	And I was like, all right, just give me my fanny pack.
	You can have the table.
	I don't care.
	Did she say anything or no?
	She said sorry.
	It's all good.
	Wasn't a big deal.
	How did she seem okay?
	She seemed buzzed.
	Yeah.
	You know, but she's from where you're from.
	Oh, dude, you can get buzzed down there.
	Right?
	Oh, just looking at your cousin, yeah.
	Get you hard.
	Or not hard, buzzed, I meant.
	Yeah, no, I know, down Louisiana.
	There's no comedy clubs in Louisiana.
	Isn't that crazy?
	Do you remember there used to be the Baton Rouge Funny Bone?
	Did you ever go to it?
	Yes.
	Bro, that place had a strip club across the street.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we used to do comedy down there back in the day.
	I played a lot of clubs back there.
	Back in the night.
	New Orleans didn't even have a club.
	The what?
	New Orleans doesn't have a comedy club.
	This is where it was.
	Oh, across the street.
	Wow.
	Right there.
	That was it.
	The funny bone, baby.
	Baton Rouge funny bone.
	And rest in peace.
	Is that the strip club, the penthouse?
	That's hilarious.
	That was it.
	Oh, my God.
	Down in Bennington Ave, baby.
	That's where I got my start right over there.
	Yeah.
	And then.
	Yeah, dude, what happened to me?
	I went to the store.
	I was on the porch one time, right?
	Getting a beer.
	I was just coming out here.
	And Tommy comes out and he's like, hey.
	Well, haven't seen you in a while.
	And, bro, I'd never been there.
	I think he had me confused with somebody.
	Oh, that's fucking hilarious.
	He's like, why don't you come in tomorrow?
	I'll give you a spot.
	Right.
	Like, all right.
	What year was this?
	Shit, I don't even know.
	2017, maybe?
	No, no, that's insane.
	2007.
	Yeah, years.
	What the fuck?
	17. My calendar's broken.
	Paulie, sure.
	Yeah, man.
	I'm glad we got to sit down finally.
	Me too.
	I would love to talk again, but we'll talk about the relationship stuff one day.
	Yeah, because I think we're similar.
	There's like a lot.
	It's tough.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	You know, and there's also something nice about being alone, you know, and having a lot of things.
	And that grows over time, too.
	Yeah.
	You know, you always, you know, you always get people asking the same thing, which is what you ask me, do you want kids?
	And there's like a long pause.
	And like, you with the right situation, I think I would.
	I'd be a good dad.
	I know I'd be a good dad.
	And everyone says that to me.
	Yeah.
	You know, because I love my, not to compare my dog to a kid, but I treat my dog great and I love being with him.
	And I feel like it's my kid.
	Yeah.
	You know, so yeah.
	And then also another thing is like my parents are deceased and I don't have that.
	So it's like, you know, so you start a new life, you know, because I'm an orphan, you know, you know, and I want to, you know, start a new life and look at my next 20, 30 years.
	And I think it'd be cool to have a kid, you know?
	But again, like, it's got to be that, you know.
	And make them laugh, dude.
	That would be cool.
	Yeah.
	Make your kid laugh all the time.
	Or what if they don't even laugh at your jokes?
	You're like, damn, hilarious.
	That'd be even funnier.
	That would be fucking funnier.
	Gosh.
	Yeah, it would be really nice, man.
	It would be really, really nice.
	It's tough, though, because I think as a comedian, part of you is still a kid in some ways.
	You know, I think it's a part of that that we don't let go of.
	And it's so for some of us, or for me, for sure.
	Is your parents still with us?
	It's tough to evolve.
	Yeah, my mother's still alive.
	And your dad?
	And my dad is dead, but he'd be alive if he could.
	And then you have brothers and sisters?
	Yeah.
	I got three brothers and sisters.
	They've all had children, or two of them have had children.
	So there's been kids.
	It's fun.
	Being uncle's great.
	Yeah, I saw you on your Instagram when you were home with them.
	Yeah.
	We had a blast.
	Do you have nieces and nephews?
	Yes, I do.
	Oh, good.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Peter has some children?
	Yep.
	Oh, that's cool.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So, yeah.
	We'll see.
	It's cool.
	We'll see.
	But anyways.
	It's possible.
	Paulie Shore, man.
	Thank you so much, dude.
	I really appreciate it.
	Can I plug my stuff real quick?
	Yeah, let's do it.
	We'll come right at the beginning for you, too.
	What is it?
	It's my podcast.
	It's called the PMS Podcast Show.
	Love to have you on it.
	It's over at Jam in the Van.
	Oh, yeah.
	Which is awesome.
	And then I have my one-man show called Stick with the Dancing, which is in the Richard Simmons biopic, of course.
	We're going to be doing that as well.
	That video is so impressive.
	If you haven't gotten a chance to see it, we played a little bit of it here.
	Court gesture, yeah.
	God, it's amazing, dude.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, and best of, that's cool, man.
	Congratulations, dude, on staying creative.
	And just on your propensity to be hopeful and positive for other people.
	That's really, it's a nice gift to have, you know?
	Yeah.
	And then also, just so you know, I didn't say this, but we sleep the same.
	I do the same thing.
	Pillow between my legs, 69 degrees, shit in my hair, stuff on my eyes, you know, semen in my, you know, right here.
	That's good.
	You forgot that.
	Shiny.
	Shiny.
	Later, dude.
	I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found.
	I can feel it in my bones.

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