Sketch is a streamer, gamer and entertainer from Houston, Texas known for his many viral clips online and live Madden games on Twitch.
Theo is joined by Sketch to chat about his recent explosion in popularity, his humble beginnings selling land in Texas, where his unique mannerisms come from, getting a Lamborghini from Steve Will Do It, how he’s dealt with new interest from the ladies, why he desperately needs to drink more water, and much more.
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Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek
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I have some tour dates I would like to announce for Europe.
I'm going to a friend's wedding in Europe, and so I was able to find some dates last minute.
And these are what we can do for now.
I will be coming back and doing other cities and maybe doing some of these cities again.
So don't be upset if I'm not coming to where you are right now.
I'll be in Belfast on June 7 at the SSE Arena.
I'll be in Dublin on June 8th at the 3 Arena.
Manchester, UK on June 13th.
And London, UK on June 15th.
Those tickets in Europe are all on sale right now.
I will also be in Las Vegas on July 5th and 6th at Resorts World.
Get your tickets early starting this Wednesday, April 24th at 10 a.m.
local time with the pre-sale code Rat King.
General on sale starts Friday, April 26th at 10 a.m.
local time.
We also have tickets remaining for Halifax, Nova Scotia, and Vancouver in the British Columbia.
Today's guest is truly one of a kind.
He is everywhere right now.
He is an entertainer.
He's a streamer.
He is just the dang, he's the Winnie the Pooh of America and of the world, maybe.
I'm fortunate to get to spend time with what is also quite possibly one of the greatest minds in football right now, if we're being honest.
Today's guest is Sketch.
Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I've been singing Almost!
Shine on me Yeah, dude, I just got an IV, man.
But if you don't, if they don't get it in the vein, it can just fill up your arm.
Yeah, that's scary.
I wouldn't want to do that.
When she was pumping me up, she's like putting the pressure on the bag and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's when it was like, I'm going to still kind of feel the pressure.
It's black.
It's like, feels weird.
But I feel way better.
You do?
Yeah.
What'd you do it for?
Just for fun?
Yeah, I just was on a flight this morning and I just wanted to, I can feel like dehydrated.
Did you do it on the plane?
No, no, I did it when I got home.
Yeah.
And there's some babes sometimes that do it.
Yeah.
We had a pretty good looking lady pull up.
Yeah, yeah.
I had a dude, the last one I did in Vegas.
I did it and they took a picture of me and then they asked like to post it on my social media.
And then like you look at my picture they posted, I was doused in water.
Cause like when I get nervous, I just was like pouring water on my, I poured two bottles on me.
Yeah, that's just calm down.
Sitting like this?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I like to, if I get nervous, I like to feel cold.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're like a, who else is like that, maybe?
Maybe vampires or something.
Maybe Native Americans or whatever.
Probably.
I don't know what they did to kind of cool off if it was real hot.
Yeah.
My mom puts that shade in her window, you know, like.
Oh, one of those?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But she doesn't like do water or anything like that.
Yeah, a curtain?
Yeah, yeah.
She just puts a curtain up.
But yeah, my arm just blew up.
It would look like one of those.
You know, like when somebody, like a clown blows up one of those balloons, it was turning into that.
Oh, turned it into like a Mickey Mouse hand?
Yeah, yeah.
Disney would twist it off and just give it to us.
That's funny.
Sketch, thanks for coming in, man.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for hospitality.
It's been amazing.
I appreciate it, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was just thinking, what was I thinking about?
Can you see pretty good?
No.
You can't?
Well, I can't read pretty good.
I can see pretty decent.
Can you see me?
I can see you, but if you're in a crowd of people, I'll probably have to get up in your face a little bit.
Yeah.
These are more for reading the chat, but I usually don't wear glasses.
I don't like going to the doctor or the eye doctor.
I don't like things around my eyes.
They're like getting them checked and stuff like that.
I was kind of like trying to get out of there.
Oh, it just makes you nervous, huh?
Well, yeah, I just don't like the stuff around my eyes or whatever.
Yeah, eyes are like, they're almost like your buttholes of your face kind of you don't really want, you know, people are going to come around and you want them to ask first.
Yeah, no sticks around them.
Nothing sharp.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you can see pretty good?
No, not really.
Like, the ones that I have, like the glasses that were prescription, one's like a scope lens and then the other one's like way off.
I think they're three clicks off because I was just like going, yeah, I'm good.
Get me out of here.
Get me out of here.
And then I got them in the mail and I was like, oh my God, I can't wear this shit.
No way.
They're not doing it by mail now, are they?
They send them in, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it's hard to, I mean, get them.
You got to get a prescription.
Have you ever gotten a prescription for them?
Uh-uh.
Well, you got to go get prescribed for them.
So if you're like run out of your prescription, you lose your glasses, you got to go like back in.
And I was like, I'm not going back in.
Yeah, just mail me what you got, I guess.
And like, yeah, mail me whatever you have that's doing pretty well for people.
Yeah.
That's what I would say.
Yeah.
I wonder how far people should even be able to see sometimes, you know?
Yeah.
You should have it limited.
Well, it's just like, what are we doing with it?
Like, I guess actually being able to see far is pretty good.
Yeah, that's like a hit.
That's like a superpower.
Yeah.
I started losing my eyesight like three years ago pretty fast or whatever.
Yeah, I don't know what it was.
Probably not drinking enough water, I think.
Yeah, it feels like they could start cinching up, look like SpongeBob when he doesn't.
Yeah, maybe that's why you're pouring water on your head.
That's my bot.
I'm doing it the wrong way, though.
Yeah, maybe your eyes are saying, look, bro.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll work from the outside if that's how you want to do it.
Yeah, sometimes I wonder if we only could see like four feet or something, if that would be awesome.
Like sharks or crocodiles or something?
Yeah.
Just move by vibrations.
Yeah.
Yeah, and you would meet more people too.
You'd meet everybody.
Everybody, you'd be like, whoa, hey.
Hey, nice to meet you here.
Nice to meet you here.
There we go.
Everything's shoulder to shoulder.
Sardine lifestyle there.
Yeah, that would be pretty wild, man.
That is cool.
So do you think your vision went away?
Were you sitting too close to the screen or something?
Or what do you think it was?
It was that.
And then I think it was not drinking too much water.
And then I never got my apparently, squinting makes it worse.
So, I've been squinting for like the last four years, and it's just I got astigmatism too, or whatever, but like, I think it's the water, and then I don't know.
I probably did something, did something bad, and it's karma.
No, I'm just kidding.
Yeah, it could have been, maybe, you know, I could have been, yeah, I guess, yeah, maybe somebody has a voodoo doll.
You should go check out your neighbors.
I know.
I need a, someone probably does have a voodoo doll of me now.
They probably have one of you, too.
Well, you have one?
I don't know.
There's definitely been, I've had some things mailed to me, some dolls people have made.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess we might have one now.
Somebody might have one.
Yeah.
It's working.
Yeah.
I got some back pain.
It's working.
Yeah, you're not doing good.
What if CJ Strauss starts feeling all the shit that they put, if they start needling yours up?
That would be worse.
I'd have to sacrifice myself for the greater good of our team here.
He's a great guy, though.
Yeah.
Have you met him?
Met him twice.
Met him randomly at the Apple store and then met him.
When I was in LA, we played a little football.
Oh, sweet.
I was about threw up when we were running around.
Why?
It just was tough.
It was just.
No, I haven't run in a while.
Just don't run much.
And is it scary to run if you can't see?
That's really brave, huh?
Yeah, no, that was the other part was when he was throwing a ball, I could not see to save my life.
Damn, but you still went out for a pass?
Yeah.
Wow.
Like Batman.
Batman.
That is awesome.
That's like Vietnam kind of for you.
Kind of, yeah.
Less fire.
Let's fire in traps.
You've really taken over America.
Dude, you've kind of become like a stitch in the American flag.
I feel like you're like this thing that everybody feels like they can believe in, you know?
You're kind of like the young male Helen Keller of like the gaming community.
Yeah.
You know, yeah, I think you're this like new like Harriet Tubman of humanity in a way.
Like, how did that kind of start?
Just for my listeners that don't know.
So you're a streamer or gamer.
Like take me through some of it.
I know you're a human being.
Yeah.
So I started, I started randomly streaming like last year.
So I'm like less than a year in.
Okay.
Just was doing it on like okay.
And what does streaming mean?
So just so because some people won't know.
Oh, so like I play video games mostly and now I do more stuff, but it started off just like playing Madden.
You're playing football and stuff.
And when you stream, you're playing it in front of your computer or you're playing it like where is the how are you setting up the stream?
I set it like a desktop.
It's in my room.
And then I have a webcam and I just turn it on and then start going.
But then people started, I kind of blew up a little bit when I was doing the Madden stuff because I like to do the audibles and stuff.
Yeah.
When there's like more people in there, I get nervous.
So I like to fucking, or sorry for cussing.
Yeah.
Blur that out?
Yeah, we'll do something.
You don't have to.
You put a buzzer or we'll put a louder cuss word over it.
Yeah.
I like that idea.
Put it on someone else.
Shift the blame.
We'll put a worse word over it.
We'll throw Papa John saying the N-word.
Oh my God.
That's on him.
There we go.
Hey, it's good pizza.
I know.
A great garlic sauce.
I'll tell you what, that'll make shit your pants.
I mean, it'll make you say things.
Coming out like hot soup.
Yeah, that's how today was.
When you started streaming and you were on there, you're just playing and then people start to get a vibe for you and they're like, oh, this guy is a unique person.
Yeah.
And I was just like, well, I would do like arm motions and stuff like that.
Oh, yeah.
Everywhere, you see it everywhere.
There's kids, some first word.
So they had a baby the other day.
Its first word was, what's up, brother?
And that was crazy.
Yeah.
And I think it was a woman or a trans boy.
Oh, my God.
And it was like, but beautiful, you know.
Beautiful babies.
Yeah.
And so just to see that, there's people.
Yeah, I mean, there's, there was like a guy, his last words were, what's up, brother?
Oh, my God.
That's brutal there.
Died from brain rot.
I call it like the zombie effect or whatever.
Just be like, you find a group of people, they get infected.
It's just like they start.
Oh, with the what's up, brother?
Yeah.
That's where it's like, it's, I don't know if it's a stitch in the flag or if I'm a meme yet.
It's like, I got to stay alone for a little bit longer.
Otherwise, I'm a meme.
Yeah, that's a good point, huh?
Yeah.
That's true.
Meme is kind of like the coffin you can go in, huh?
Yeah, that's where internet people go to die.
Wow.
I could be me here soon.
I'm scheduling everything back to back, making sure we squeeze everything out of this fucking rag here.
And so then people just started kind of falling in love with your personality, huh?
Yeah, that's what it was.
And then people started clipping me.
A dude in the army, it was like they couldn't have TikTok.
He was trying to explain people what I do or whatever.
So he was like the first one.
He would send that and he started posting them.
Okay.
And those clips started doing good.
And that's kind of what like took took it off for me.
But then.
Because it's a kind of strange, it's a unique ascent.
It's almost like you're an astronaut.
It's almost like you're an astronaut, but you haven't left the Earth.
You know, it's like you don't see a lot of people that have just had such a change in their life.
Oh, dude, I was doing real estate like a year ago and then literally was near-sighted real estate?
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, my last real estate deal, I crashed on the way there.
I thought I had a green light.
I hope that lady doesn't know that she would have sued me for nothing now.
Now she can garnish some wages.
What's up, lawyer?
What's up, lawyer?
We might need a couple.
Dude, could you imagine if you're showing me a real estate?
You're like, this house is six feet by six feet.
It's like as far as you can see.
That's probably what it's like.
Take them in there.
I'm finding everything, finding out everything like they are.
You see that there?
You see that there?
Dude, that's great.
See, that would almost be awesome of a real estate agent because then everything's going to be brand new to you all the time.
Exactly.
That's the beauty of it.
Walk out there and just...
So the land was like, Everyone good here?
You like it?
All right, let's do it.
It was pretty simple, cut and dry.
So, yeah, you just show up and what, just look at land or whatever?
Yeah, I would put stuff on a contract and then I would have to take it to like a committee and they'd approve like the purchase or not.
It was more like raw land for like lots and stuff like that for like houses.
Okay, yes, sir.
And you're driving a truck though, huh?
Toward Dacoma.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, I was.
And then I have a second one now because that first one got destroyed.
I'll tell you what, it's a safe car, though.
Yeah.
That lady hit me home ass.
She minted, huh?
45. Yeah, that's why you got to watch the AGAP, man.
You got to catch that Mike Lambach.
Exactly.
It was like the blind side there.
I was relaxed though.
I had no clue it was coming.
Dang, bro.
So, yeah, because you got to buy land from a dude in a truck.
If a dude rolls up in a Camry or whatever, I ain't buying you.
That's a land.
That's like selling crypto there.
That's a scam there.
Yeah, that's bad.
Here we go.
Bro, if some dude rolls up in a fiat or a mini Cooper, I ain't buying it.
Oh, no, no way.
If he's got a squat to get in his car, no way.
Unless he's a midget or something.
Dude, I used to have a little person that was a midget.
I think midget's actually French, I think.
Midget's French for a keychain.
Is it?
No, I'm just kidding.
Oh, damn.
Put them in your pocket.
Well, it'd be great if you had a little person to hold your keys all the time.
Yeah, that's a good business plan.
Got to go to Ireland for them, I hear.
That would be great.
Or if he wore them on his earrings, you know?
Oh, yeah, like a minion?
Yeah.
Like this big bullb minions.
And then you just like brought him up to the door.
And he was just ear height of like most door locks.
Yeah.
Oh, that'd be great.
Well, the good thing is like he's probably harder to get robbed from a midget.
So it's probably a good thing for a manager.
Well, we had a little person at night.
He was our roommate and we would watch him, we would all get together and have kind of have a beer or whatever and watch him run and jump into bed at night.
Oh my God.
That's an Olympic sport, though.
Slingshot him.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
No, he never wanted any help.
He was very much like a, you know, he was kind of like a Jackie Robinson of little people.
That's awesome.
Like an independent woman.
Yeah, he wanted to do it.
Yeah, like a very Shania Twain type of idea.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, he was like the littlest Dixie chick.
He wanted to do it his own way.
Oh, yeah.
I'll tell you what, they got to monitor their own.
Same here.
Yeah, same here.
Same size brains.
Is that true?
I think so.
Little people, little brains might go together, but I don't know.
I've met some.
They're pretty smart.
They all are smart.
Yeah, I'm trying to think if you have less.
I think they must be just the same amount of smart because my friend Brad is a little person and he is seems very smart.
Let me see.
Almost all people with disproportions, dwarfism have normal intellectual capacities.
Rare exceptions are usually the result of a secondary factor, such as excess fluid around the brain, which is the opposite of what you have.
Yeah.
Lots of extra space.
Yeah, so they're really, yeah, I guess if they got too much water on them, you know.
Well, it's water weight that would, it's always the water weight that gets to you.
It's, yeah.
Maybe they need an IV.
Yeah.
Well, you get them, maybe that's a, that's, maybe that's how they get bigger.
Oh, an IV would be a lot more like that.
Kind of like those things you put in the water and then they grow and get bigger like that?
Oh, like those little, yeah, what are those things?
Like a little dragon or something, like a sponge?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Put them in the water to get bigger.
I like that.
They had a movie called Kremlins, and that's what they did on there.
It was like these kind of bad animals, and they'd just been misbehaving, I guess, in the community.
And then they put water on them, and they turned just really bad.
Is this Yoda?
Yeah.
This is like a, it's almost like a dirty little Yoda.
It's like Yoda's little son that got busted probably selling trank or whatever, doing some low-key bad shit.
Doing bad shit all the time?
Yeah, just like doing that gas station salvy or whatever that stuff is.
Oh, yeah.
Taking that horny goat weed.
That'll mess with your head there.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, they just ended up doing real well.
But yeah, but that was a movie when they added water on him.
It went bad.
Maybe they live longer, like Yoda.
Oh, yeah.
That's another thing.
Yeah, I wonder.
I don't know.
But Sketchman, good to see you.
So you have this thing that kind of happens in your life because it's kind of fascinating, dude.
It's just like such a rare thing.
Yeah.
How have you kind of felt like that people recognize you more and stuff?
Does some parts of it get scary?
Does it all feel kind of exciting?
It's cool.
It can get like overwhelming, but it's more of like, I take everything a day at a time right now.
It's just like if I think of everything, we're like, that's why it's like, keep everything, just roll the punches.
Keep everything, you know, keep the schedule busy, but at the same time, don't worry about the next thing.
Just focus on, you know, drink water right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, this is, this is cool here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, this is awesome.
Yeah, man.
Well, like, new territory for me.
Is it yet?
Everything is.
So everything's like, I don't know.
I feel like a newborn baby.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, walking around and people saying my stuff.
Or I've caught a couple people doing it on Broadway.
And then you just, I rolled out the window.
It was like, what's up, brother?
Like, what?
Whoa.
I mean, dude, 20 years from now, you could run.
That could be your campaign.
It's like, what's up, brother?
Could literally win the presidency.
That's just kind of how crazy the world is these days.
I know.
I need to find a VP.
Yeah.
I don't know who'd be.
I think.
You want to be on that ticket?
Yeah.
Can you be president?
I'll be vice president.
No.
You don't want power?
I want, no.
I want to be the guy in the background who's like, kind of like, like goes like this in the background, but then he gets to go and chill and kind of vape or whatever and talk to some ladies and, you know, hope for the best.
That's the way to do it there.
Hang low and let it ride.
There you go.
Just ride it like a wave.
I feel like I'm in a swimming pool right now.
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So what, let me learn a little bit more about you, man.
What like were your folks like?
My folks, my loving parents, the best parents I could ask for.
Pretty decent, pretty tall.
Oh, no, they're pretty short.
I got handed the short stick of the family.
My grandpa was over six, or like 6'1 ⁇ .
And what happened?
He just died?
He died 6'1, but he didn't pass down anything good.
Rest in peace, grandpa.
Great God.
Was he?
Yeah.
He took it all with him, though, it sounds like.
No, he took the good blessings.
He left behind a washing machine and a couple other things, but that's not bad.
Tyson can't complain.
Is it really?
I don't know.
It went to my parents.
I don't think I got anything.
I didn't want anything.
It's a weird thing to want.
Yeah, I think, I don't know if it's weird to want something for your grandparents.
I don't know.
We're talking and thinking so fast, it's hard to know what I'm talking about.
But so what does your mom do for work?
My mom, she works with my dad, and my dad does home building.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So I would buy the land for them and then we would approve it through like a committee or whatever.
And then that's how I would transact.
Oh, I see.
So it was a family business.
Yes, sir.
And then when like, so when I stopped, it slowed down in 2023 from interest rates.
And that's when I was like, oh, fuck it.
I'll just start streaming.
And, well, not like to make money, more just like, I have free time.
I had a pretty easy schedule with them.
I didn't make a lot of money, but it was like, it was chill.
It was like enough to where it's like, just go in.
I mean, you're not buying land or you are.
So it's like, work from home.
I might have got some free dollars from my dad on that one.
I'll tell you what, you probably shouldn't let anyone work from home, pops.
Robin and blind.
Check your pockets.
That's a horrible idea to let somebody work from home, dude.
If it's your own family member, too, because they're just working from home, they're not doing nothing.
Oh, yeah.
And my boss wasn't a part of that family.
So it's like, who's going to call me in?
I was like, I feel like I should tell someone, but I'm loving life right now.
It's a good thing that I found a new job.
You're like, I feel like it's 11 a.m.
I'm going to take a nap early.
Oh, yeah.
But that's probably what time was waking up.
Wow.
Wake up, pop on stream, send an I probably got two emails a day when I was working.
Oh, so very easy.
It was very easy.
It was calm waters for you guys, huh?
It was, yeah, I was just floating, floating down the river.
And what were some of the emails you would get?
Like, would it be people complaining like, hey, there's not enough land here or there's quick sand out here, whitey or something like that?
Oh, there is some.
I made some bad purchases before.
I bought some stuff without looking at it.
That sucked.
And then they go, oh, there's an easement on it.
I was like, oh, shit.
It's like, you didn't see that either?
I've had some good ones and some bad ones.
Some ugly babies.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
You know, it's not still babies.
That's exactly.
Exactly.
It's land regardless.
Hey, and once you're, yeah, you still got to breastfeed them, brother.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Lactose intolerant, but I'll take one for the team.
So what kind of land was it?
What was the land you would go bid?
So what would you do with the land?
So it was like raw land and we were just like putting, we would spec houses on it.
So like when I was doing it in 2020, like your interest rates dropped, demand was up because you had a housing boom and builders were like looking to replace empty inventory.
And it was, I was overbidding on a lot of the shit.
Like, I mean, from a thousand, like up to 10,000, 15,000.
Like, that was the only way to get shit under contract.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
I had some good, we had some good sales.
I mean, like, it was.
We had some good action on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You couldn't go wrong in 2020.
It was pretty, it was just like picking up stuff off the ground.
But overbid?
How do you even...
Who would let you bid?
That's why I worked from home.
They didn't want to see me.
The CFO did not love me.
When they were looking for better margins, the land was fucking them.
Sorry for cussing, but that's what they get bro that's what happens that's what happens when you don't you give a big dog a little leash now he's gonna he's gonna fuck around you know what i mean oh yeah i mean that's business 101 oh yeah there you need checks and balances but it's a small office so you know just go to mom mom come on brother we've overbid mom what about um so
your dad was a like a prospector kind of um like more like he would like he was what's a prospector like a i think that's somebody actually looks for gold so he wasn't that he was more like a um guy that a developer kind of like yes sir we did we did development and then we did home building so like the stuff that i did was more like the homebuilding side yeah um he started developing more in the past year um but the yeah it was like pretty much pretty pretty low key like pretty low lift stuff yeah but
um yeah yeah two emails a day that's pretty calm i feel like oh yeah and then you just uh respond to them within 24 hours that's another loophole there look at 48 hours and we i i would text back or like my emails are pretty uh good morning one sentence thank you yeah there we go no no tag there no number on there that's how that's why i like to roll i yeah i think mystery is a part of business that's missing these days yeah you know be vague
don't give the info yeah you got to keep your cards close to the vest don't don't let them see it make them want you oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what i like to do there yeah that's a great idea and so you were just losing your eyesight you're at home you're um and you living at home oh that's that was at my house okay but like i don't own the house but i live with my roommate which is one of my childhood friends okay and then uh cooper no what's his name cooper yeah cooper great guy he
uh yeah he's a liquor salesman so we got a pretty good he's the plug there yeah and does he drink a lot huh um he might have a problem no i'm just kidding he's a good guy yeah he uh rest in rest in peace booper booper he's about to start streaming is he we're about to start a collective okay so what is that so a collective so um well so take me let me go back a little bit so how do you make money on streaming um
the ad revenue and subs so like the ad revenue is like from how many viewers you have and all that stuff and then how long you're doing it all matters but um i do that in youtube but i don't stream that much i stream like four times a month right now okay so it's like pretty uh because i just i like i make enough money where it's like cool and all that stuff but it's also like i like to do stuff that's fun and like so like doing stuff like this or going to uh ufc 300 and stuff like that like that that's what i like to do yeah dude
that was so great yeah that's where i met you at was at power slab yeah that was that was awesome yeah it's so it's so interesting in there what did you think of it oh i loved it um i definitely would go again yeah yeah they were knocking that shit out of each other but i i don't know if i would go up there and hold that stick behind my back and you're drawing each other's hands out and stuff like slapping them with a freaking pan or some shit yeah i think for some reason and the i wish they told you why the guys were upset with each other that's the part that i feel like
as an audience it would be awesome oh i know they need to they need to add the like the street beef aspect of it yeah i had a one of the dudes from the slap box uh while i was going for one of them and then the other side his like uh ring guy or whatever who was with him was like going fuck fuck off scatch he's yelling at me when i was going for the other guy oh i saw you cheer really getting into it for one guy dude it was that was a good fight yeah that dude knocked out the favorite he's like minus 2000 or something yeah look those guys are warriors i would tell
you what i would not catch me dead or alive doing that it you know i think there's something to me about it one thing that i think is really interesting i noticed it this time i think there's this element of like if you survive the slap that the gods are you are in your favor you know there's this feeling of like like the gods want me to keep going so i i started to kind of notice that amongst some of the guys like that that was one of the things that must keep some of them like
must really be like a high energy like after the slap yeah they go back to their corner they're not talking to the guy they're just praying yeah pray for rain brother pray for rain you know that would be a shitty situation to be in they have good snacks there too did you have any of the snacks they had in the back bussing yeah bussing and they had some cute chicks there they had some kind of wild guys and stuff there i thought oh yeah no it was a good it was a good crowd good crew i loved it i'll i would definitely
do it again yeah how often is that your first one or have you gone to this is my second one second one yeah and it's growing on me yeah it's uh i'm waiting for them to like start opening up the stands or whatever for like you know where they where they host like host more people and stuff i'll see how that does it it'll be interesting yeah it's a limit they only have maybe like 400 people in there yeah and then it's also like i mean like they're only if they're playing like three rounds it's like six slaps if everyone stands up so it's pretty um pretty chop chop so
i would imagine that's what they're trying to find out what it oh like almost still experimenting yeah it still feel it has an underground kind of vibe to it doesn't it yeah like street fight we're at a street fight yeah it really does almost it really it does feel like a lot of underground i didn't think about that but yeah there was like some pro rest there was uh the champion damian priest i think was there oh yeah um yeah i mean it's just definitely interesting and watching those guys come up and then people are just snacking and they look and some guy like just eviscerates somebody yeah
i love that feeling yeah love the feeling it was great watching what did you ever play any combat sports anything like that or what did i play uh Oh, I've done like just like trained some like jiu-jitsu, but I've never fought in a ju in a fight.
Yeah, like a MMA fight or anything.
Oh, no.
But yeah, I didn't play.
I played basketball in high school.
That was about it.
You're a basketball player?
Are you taller than I thought you were?
Really?
Maybe it's the TV I'm watching on my hindsight, but you're way tall.
How tall are you?
Six?
I could tell you anything.
I'm 7'4.
Oh, yeah.
You're gonna get catch me slipping here.
I hope someone doesn't find out that I can't read or not read, but can't see.
Because then those contracts can start getting longer.
Sign me to give away some organs.
I'm down one right now.
Or two.
I don't have an appendix or missing one kidney.
Are you really?
Yeah.
And well, dude, if you're missing a kidney, that's probably why it has to do something with your eyesight, huh?
If you have one kidney and see very good, will you pull that up?
That actually might be, we might find out the problem here.
Kidney and, yeah, are kidney and eyes related?
The kidney and the eyes have a lot in common on a physiological level as a result of the strong link between these two organs.
The causes for kidney and eye diseases are the same in many cases.
Wow.
And so what happened to your first, your original kidney?
I was just born without one.
No way.
Born without one.
Wow.
Minus $250,000 when I was born.
That's how much a kidney cost.
I looked it up the other day.
$250,000.
Quarter mil.
Quarter ticket there.
Would you get one if we could get you one?
Oh, yeah, I would take one.
You would?
I would take one if they don't need it or something.
Yeah, I would like to have two.
I don't know if I have one mega one or if there's just a blank spot in the middle of my gut.
Or they're back here.
Yeah, I don't know.
Does it feel any different than the other side or whatever?
Sometimes if I don't drink water, it hurts to pee, but I don't know if that's my kidney or my wiener.
You gotta get some.
Bro, we gotta get you some water, man.
Oh, no.
Somebody's got to.
I've been drinking all day.
I've been working on it.
I'm trying to fix these things.
Yeah.
Get some oil in the car.
It's like driving a car without oil.
My fucking brain's got black smoke in it right now.
Man, I'm about to freaking pass out.
Oh, my gosh, bro.
We're going to need to have triple A. Hey, pull up in here, dude.
Bro, you got to, yeah, we got to get some water in you.
What did you play?
But I saw you play in athletics.
I saw you play in football online.
Yeah.
You played football.
I played football, but I went to like a private school for a year and I played there.
Oh, so it's all whites, huh?
Oh, yeah.
It was definitely, it was like a lot of playing.
The wide receivers were dual sport athletes in soccer, so it was like pretty easy.
120-pound wide receivers, like throwing them around.
And I was pretty thick back then.
I was like 205 when I was in.
Really?
So you were lifting a lot of weights?
Yeah.
Well, so my parents, well, I have like a thing where like, if, well, especially during school, I was like, if they ever gave me, like, when I was younger, I would go and like, if they gave, put their card on the lunch line, we'd have Chick-fil-A and stuff in there.
So I'd get like two or three Chick-fil-A sandwiches.
They cut me off.
And then like, fast forward, went to the private school.
Part of it is like the meal plan or whatever.
I took advantage of it like no other.
Why they just they have a lot more unlimited meal kind of style?
It's just like, yeah, well, if I wouldn't pack my lunch really, so if I if I would just, I would just show up kind of hungry and then fucking kind of kind of meal around like a raccoon between my friends.
Yeah.
When I was in middle school, there's this one kid named Bryce, but he would, he was a nice guy, but if you asked him nicely enough, he'd buy you a chicken sandwich every day.
Really?
Yeah.
Every day.
Every day.
Mr. I don't meet Bryce C, he probably, if he ever sees this.
Thank you, Bryce C. We'll drop his last name.
Yeah, Bryce, thank you.
I owe you Chick-fil-A, brother.
For a long time, it sounds like.
Oh, yeah.
I was getting.
How many meals did you pull off of that fella?
Probably three sandwiches a week at least.
30 weeks, and it was probably over the course of five years or four years.
I mean, that's 450 sandwiches, man.
I feel bad now.
I probably owe him some chicken minis.
Or something.
I owe him a whole chicken, a whole farm here.
We definitely.
Now I heard the chicken at Chick-fil-A is kind of fucked up, so I can't get him back the right way.
Sorry for cussing, but no, there's a lot of people.
What happened to the chicken at Chick-fil-A?
Let's bring that up.
And yeah, we'll have to do something nice for Bryce, man.
Maybe we'll see if we can't get something sent over to him.
You have his address or anything?
Oh, I have no clue.
I know he's a triplet.
Oh, well.
We hit one of the three.
It's more of his pops that I owe.
He's a great guy, but I owe his pops.
Well, this is the kind of shit.
I don't know.
His pops wiener stutters, okay?
I mean, three of the same.
One of these that just dangles a little bit?
Well, it just, anybody who's making three of the same kid, bro, like, we get it.
Oh, yeah.
Quiet down.
Three-headed dragon?
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't believe in twins and triplets, right?
Where I'm from, if people was twins, it would make them fight until one of them won, you know, and that was the one that everybody talked to.
Yeah.
What does it say?
Citing diminishing chicken supply Chick-fil-A will back off its pledge never to serve chicken that was fed antibiotics.
Wow.
So instead, it will embrace a looser industry standard.
No antibiotics important to human medicine.
So I guess it can't have like chicken that's on like, I guess, a ZPAC or whatever.
Some of those chickens are probably on Xanax now.
It's 2024 now.
Well, especially with some of the flooding in that area.
I remember when it flooded in our area and my buddy's mom got on pills after that and quit working.
So, yeah, I'm sure a lot of this chicken is.
Something to do with the pills.
They're probably on Adderall now.
That's probably why they're so skinny.
They're all out there.
Everyone thinks chickens are stupid.
They're just wired to shit.
They're on 50 milligrams of good stuff there.
Oh, they'll make an egg in eight minutes now.
they'll cook it for you, too.
They'll fucking start, put it on the grill for you.
How do you want it?
How do you want it, brother?
Start flipping that thing.
Oh, they're serving it a lot.
Yeah, I think that's true.
If a chicken's on Adderall, it could serve that egg anyway.
Why don't we cut out the middleman of the chef and get a chicken to serve the egg ready to order?
I like that idea.
It's more probably humane there.
I don't care, actually.
I eat rags regardless.
I eat a lot of meat.
Do you?
Well, this would save you time.
I mean, I think imagine you, a chicken can do that.
Boil or scramble would be crazy, I guess.
They've got to be able to know how to boil water there.
They've been on earth for as long as we have, so it's pretty easy.
But if we could heat their bodies up enough in a safe environment where they don't pass away, but they're able to serve.
I like that idea.
We'd buy like a YMCA with a sauna already in there, put them in the sauna, let them work out, let them use the equipment, maybe give them some library books.
I think if we had like TED Talks going 24-7, they'd probably start gaining some information there.
Oh, I think there's no way they're not going to pick things up.
Oh, they probably pick stuff up without us knowing.
Little, crazy little claws there.
Oh, I can only imagine if I were a little fucking chicken.
That's the thing about chicken.
They're just like.
That's how they're like that.
Then when they're on the add-ero, it's like when it turns into more like a hummingbird, that's all it is.
They probably, that's a good business plan there.
We need to trademark that stuff before it's gone.
Yeah, well, I'm sure it'll be gone.
The second somebody hears this, they're going to, it's already gone.
That's a problem with today.
Yeah, it's going to be like the, I forget the name of it, but probably a war crime to give chickens amphetamines.
Well, it's just sad that Chick-fil-A is resorting to getting this bootleg chicken.
And a lot of the chicken has probably been through, you know, has complex trauma.
It's probably, who knows where it's from?
Probably it could be Memphis.
It could be East St. Louis.
Who knows where a lot of these animals are coming from now?
Yeah, from all over.
All over the world.
There's Chicago too.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, just some of the, us choosing to have different chicken, that's going to change everybody.
It's going to change marriages.
There are marriages out there that are based solely on the fact that twice a week they eat Chick-fil-A together.
That's true.
My aunt actually got proposed to in Canes, in a Canes box.
Yeah.
She did not like that idea.
In a Canes, in the side of a Cane?
Opened it up.
It was on the Texas toast.
No way.
Yes, way.
It was the worst idea.
The forever combo?
It was a short marriage, though.
She's reburied now.
Lovely lady.
Is she?
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
Happy in, you know.
Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I think, where were you, would you do it at a cane's?
What is the best fast food or quick dining, as they like to say?
Place to get married at, you think?
Is chilies count?
Is chilies fast?
No, that's not fast enough.
That's high-class dining past.
I mean, it's good food.
If you can get liquor there, it probably doesn't count.
Well, no, Chili's is great.
I think it's just a lot.
Chili's is a place you can meet women easily, I think.
Oh, yeah.
So I think if it's a place you can probably easily meet women, then it's not applicable.
Chili's cutter reminds me of Broadway.
This is my first time going on Broadway, but it's like, I see two groups of people.
It's either super young chicks or super old chicks.
It's like the young chicks are partying.
The older people are like going to war museums or something.
That's how Chick-fil-A is at the bar.
Or not the Chili's is at the bar.
It's a mixed bag out there.
Chili's is a great place to go back to in your hometown and make love to someone that you didn't get to talk to in high school.
Rekindle a flame there.
Two for 20. Two for 20. Get it rolling.
You know, get a nap with it.
I'll tell you what, you ever made love after happening mozzarella sticks?
Oh.
Shit just sits in you.
It's like a gumball machine.
You got to shake me and twist me to get that shit out of me, brother.
Yeah, that's love, man.
I wonder how many relationships have been started at some of these different types of food chains.
Chili.
Oh, couples are getting engaged at Chili's.
Okay, so I guess it's a thing now.
Oh, it is?
Oh, that's good, actually, because, yeah, because sometimes it's so hard to decide where to get engaged at.
And a lot of public parks and everything are very dangerous now.
Yeah.
And so.
Yeah, there's some couples right there getting engaged.
Where would you get engaged?
I think I'd go old school.
I'd go inside of a McDonald's.
That's good.
That's a good start.
Maybe the drive-through.
Think about it in the drive-thru?
That way, if you pop out from behind the drive-thru sign, she's like, yeah, I would like a McWhatever.
Yeah, and you have a proposal with the shit cramps.
Yeah, and you'd be like, oh, do you want this McHusband?
And you pop out from behind there.
That's that Chick-fil-A chicken.
That Chick-fil-A chicken making you make some irrational decisions now.
Or you want this Mick prenup and you just roll out from behind the scenes.
It's on the receipt.
It's on your seat, lady.
Lovely lady cuff.
Maybe a Waffle House.
I bet Waffle House got it.
That's it.
That's got a loyal crowd there.
It's like Cracker Barrel.
Yeah, Waffle House, I think people cheer you on as well.
They're going to be like, we want this love.
We want these MFers.
Somebody would yell M Affers or even queers at you.
We can bleep that out, but people will yell.
We love these queers, even if it's straight people getting married.
Yeah.
Oh, here's one right here.
We can actually watch this one.
Look at this.
Wolf House is a Valentine's Day tradition for John and Julie.
Oh, that's cute, huh?
That is cute.
A real man.
Look, baby.
It takes a real man to make a visual man.
And I just have one question.
Will you marry me?
Wow.
Oh, he put it on a waffle.
You guys can't see, but the waiter, who's a male waiter at Waffle House, which you don't even see very often, which you have to pay extra to get, brought it over, and it was a ring, a wedding ring, opened in a box on a waffle.
That is a way to do it there.
Oh, because here's the thing: you're going to want that waffle a little bit.
So you're going to say yes just to get a little bit of hit of that waffle.
Yeah, you either got to eat it or you got to frame it or something.
Probably turn into something crazy.
Yeah, where would you go, you think?
I guess chilies.
That's a good answer, huh?
Chilies, I like chilies.
Maybe, I don't know.
I got engaged last weekend at Vegas.
So maybe do that again.
You got really engaged?
I don't know if it's real yet, but we did get married.
She was offered acceptance.
It's a legal contract.
I'll find out how much money she makes.
I'll freeing up her ass.
Here you go.
I need a cut of that Snapchat, please.
Dang.
And is she a Snapchat artist or something?
No, no, fitness lady.
Wow.
Yep.
And where'd you meet her online?
My brother set me up, Nick Narasina.
Oh, yeah.
I met Nick.
Yeah.
I met him at the fight.
Can he set you up with a gal?
Yeah, that's what we did.
The day before.
She wasn't with me at the fight, so things are rough sledding.
Rough sledding.
Bad start out the gate.
Lots of turbulence.
Like Captain Sully, I hit a geese at takeoff.
We're in the water.
Someone come get us.
Wow.
But it's, you know, loving the married life.
Yeah, it seems like it, man.
Yeah, because that's a big challenge, dude, I think, is getting married and being willing to be married.
You know, I've had friends that get married and then they'll come over the next day and they're like, dude, I'm fuck.
They'll be like, fuck, man, I'm married.
Yeah, I can't.
That's why I can't.
I don't like anything long term.
Keep everything month to month.
A month to month contract.
That's another business idea there.
This hard is month to month.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, I can love you as long as I can think.
Yeah, I can love you as long as this electric bill lasts.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Love you as long as it takes me to get to you.
By foot, by land or sea.
Oh, I saw in Vegas you got a Lamborghini.
Did you really get a Lego?
I did get a Lamborghini.
No way.
Yeah, I'll tell you what.
It looks pretty there.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Steve is such a nice guy.
Oh, I love Steve.
He was awesome.
He's built with such a unique joy inside of him.
Yeah, he's a great person to be around.
He is.
Yeah.
It literally is like being around the sun, kind of.
Yeah.
It's like the sun just is like hanging out with you.
You get positive energy off him.
Always good vibes.
He surprised you with this?
We walked outside to Red Rock and he was sitting out there.
I had no clue what was going on.
Have you driven it at all?
Not yet.
It's actually, it's coming from North Carolina and it's going to be in Houston when I get back.
No way.
Yep.
Like, what do you even do with the Lamborghini then?
Because if you get home, where are you going to...
Houston has a lot of potholes.
So if I fuck up that arim or the fender, I don't know if I'm showing up the cash for that thing.
I'll just have a fucked up sports car in there.
It'll look cool, though.
I think it does.
I'll just leave the garage open 24-7.
Try to get the hot dog walkers.
You want to see something?
You want to see some horses?
Yeah, if you just sit in there and floor it.
Did that a couple times.
It was cool.
Yeah, dude.
We had a guy that used to ride.
They had these girls by us that were twins, I think, or something was wrong with one of them.
But they would sit on the back of this Mustang.
It was a convertible.
And this guy would always drive around like he was cool.
And then he one time floored it and they both fell off the back.
Oh my God.
It's like those people that do the wheelies on quads and fall off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a dangerous game there.
Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit risky, man.
Yeah, but yeah, new car ownership is definitely interesting, but a car like that, you can't even hide anywhere, Scott.
Oh, yeah.
I'll tell you, the insurance ain't going to be cheap, brother.
Not after my first crash, too.
What's up, brother?
These rates, brother.
They're like, oh, you totaled a Tacoma.
What is the next thing you want on your ticket?
It's a Lamborghini, sir.
Aviator Lamborghini.
Look at that thing.
It's got wings on it.
It's going to be a big uptick, huh?
I know.
I'm going into, I'll probably ride it a couple times.
Keep it in a neighborhood.
Just Sunday drive.
Yeah, Sunday drive.
That's the move.
Yeah.
Ooh, you could do last laps for like women, like senior citizen women that are have dementia or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
They have that where somebody will come and take them in a, like on a last lap or whatever.
Oh, yeah, like a like a NASCAR little do-around?
Yeah, just something, you know, just so the, yeah, so they can feel that, you know, just feel fun, you know, hang their head out the window or whatever.
So you see the sun again?
You usually tuck them away in those houses.
Yeah, just, yeah, one last orbit around the neighborhood.
You got to go through two, two, it got to go through an airlock to get to grandma.
It's usually not a good sign.
Yeah, one last, one last run through the wind before the Lord brings them home.
You know, there's one of it right there.
Last lap.
83-year-old man's birthday wish to ride in a Lamborghini comes true.
Dude, you could do this for so many people.
I would do that.
I'll have prunes and oranges and cottage cheese in there for them.
All that stuff.
And they can hang their head out the window, too.
I think it makes them feel good, too.
I think that would be wonderful, man.
But the only thing about a yellow Lamborghini is it's also a, I think it's kind of like a gay beacon or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
So it's definitely going to attract a lot of gay men's out there.
Hey, take any eyeballs.
That's the purpose is for attention here.
That's it.
You got to take what you can get.
Look at this.
They're taking pictures of the car.
They probably got some hot friends.
There we go.
Everything works out there.
Good thing it's black, too.
It's black.
Yeah, it's going to be black.
Oh, I thought it was yellow.
So we took a picture with that one, and then he's sending me one.
Oh, so the one you're getting is black.
All black, brother.
Yeah, because yellow is, look at there.
You go right there.
And there's a young man already sitting on that one.
Shirtless.
Yeah.
And that guy is looking to meet another guy, probably.
Maybe not.
I'm not saying that.
Probably got tape over his nipples.
Probably.
Chafing.
Chafing.
I'm just saying.
Because, yeah, dude, I remember the first time we had a gay guy in our neighborhood or a dude.
He said he told us he was an EMT or whatever.
And he had me and my buddies doing like CPR on each other, right?
Practicing.
Well, then there was a fire in our neighborhood and somebody got burned.
And so somebody's like, we got to run over to Mr. Gary's house.
He's an EMT.
He can help.
And somebody's like, that dude's not an EMT, dude.
He's just kind of, you know, he's just a gay dude.
He's always perfect on people.
So we're like, oh, shit.
Oh, my gosh.
That's pretty good.
Well, then what about these certificates he gave us for CPR?
You're full certified there.
These bitches aren't worth that.
You gave him more than lips.
You gave him a little tongue in there, brother.
He's trying to breathe.
I didn't do anything.
This one kid, William, was he was a fucking weirdo.
But yeah, we shouldn't have been over there, but it doesn't matter.
But he ended up having a vehicle like that, you know?
And this other guy named Big Roy would always play Navy with us at his house.
He had one of those big bathtubs.
Yeah.
Oh, like a bathtub.
And we would play Navy over there.
There you go.
You got underwater torpedoes.
Look, hey, look.
Dude, it was just, yeah, I was just like, I was barely enlisted.
You were just part-time?
Coast Guard, I think that is.
That's it.
Coast Guard.
He's almost in there.
You never left the port.
I was Coast Guard, bro.
I was in active duty.
There you go.
Helicopter ride.
He's swinging that thing around.
What else can we talk about?
I'll take it for a ride.
Are you going to drive it?
I got a, well, my first two days are scheduled already.
Got some ladies.
Yeah.
One of the ladies I'm with right now?
Yeah.
Oh, she is.
Look at this.
Beautiful.
Beautiful ladies.
Look at this.
Hard at work.
Her name is, we'll just not say it.
BG.
BG, yeah.
There we go.
That's a, yeah, that's a good name.
And I think she seems like a nice person.
She is a nice person.
Yeah.
Tell you what, I'm fucking light-headed.
I ate like a bird yesterday, eat with her.
I was trying not to eat too much.
There you go.
It was great.
And do you like, yeah, what's that like now?
Because you're meeting more ladies and stuff.
More ladies get to see you.
Yeah.
Has that been kind of nerve-wracking to go from like, like, were you comfortable, like growing up, were you comfortable talking with ladies and stuff?
I was not very good.
I just always had a group of friends or whatever.
And probably had too high hopes with a lot of the ladies.
So it was usually flying solo.
Oh, yeah.
But I also, when I go out, I like to go ham, I guess.
So it's like I like to move light.
You know, moving solo, getting through cracks and stuff like that.
That's how you like to travel, kind of?
Oh, yeah.
You just do your own thing.
Yeah.
Like, I just like even before I'm doing something like if, like this, I like to pace around or something and sort of do that with other people.
Yeah.
And so now it's a little different though, because you can meet, it's easier to meet ladies now because they can see you without you having to be, you know, they get, they see you online, they see you on socials, it's easier.
Yeah.
And it's hard to get on Tinder when your sketch or whatever, because then it's like, it's like a, but how do you get on Tinder with your with the persona or whatever?
It's like, what, right?
Yeah.
That's why talking to all the ladies from where I live.
Are you?
Yes, sir.
Let's see who that is.
It's a lady.
Look at her.
Yeah, she looks nice.
Looks better than the guy that you brought.
He's handsome, but he's look at that.
That's a great haircut.
Yay, beautiful.
Barbara took it up high, didn't he?
Yeah, Barbara definitely.
It's a fresh chop, brother.
Gashiari on the top of military sides.
Yeah, yeah.
It has an upstairs.
We're going to say that.
Yeah, it does.
This haircut has an upstairs.
It's a penthouse.
Penthouse chop there.
It's going to be more expensive to heat.
That heating pill is probably expensive on that motherfucker.
Don't worry.
It's cold in the winter.
It's hot in the summer.
It's just, don't worry.
It's just a remodeled attic.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, brother.
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Yeah, when you think about love and stuff like that, have you been in love, you think, before?
Like with, no, not really.
I just, I don't really, not dating someone is like, it's like hard to define love.
Like, I love people, love all but people, but like it's like love like that?
No, not yet.
And were you dating anybody in high school and stuff or no?
No, I was I moved high school when I went to that private school and then I went back.
So it was kind of just like all random timing.
Then when I was in college, I had transferred to four colleges.
So it was kind of bouncing around.
Yeah, were you getting kicked out or what were you doing?
I was just homesick.
So like I went to Mississippi State.
Oh, dude.
It was too far.
So I moved to OU.
That was, I was underperforming what I was paying.
I went to Texas State from there because I was doing a business, but I was like not even really doing great at it.
So I was like, I might as well pay less.
I don't need to need the degree or whatever.
Yeah, I don't need to do poorly expensively.
Exactly.
You know, I'd rather, you know.
And yeah, you were just homesick kind of dude.
When I went to, I went to University of Arizona the first semester I went to college and I was so homesick.
Oh, really?
Bro, it was horrible.
I bet.
That's a culture shock there from the bayou to the parishes to the.
Yeah, it was, dude.
It was just like a lot of people with sunburn and a lot of like violencia and like Mexican people like just beating each other up and like abandoned car washes and stuff.
And beautiful area.
Tire shops.
Yeah, just a lot of people.
Yeah, yeah, dude.
A lot of like Mexican people just threatening to fucking change your tires, you know?
Like, amigo.
Yeah, love, love, love my Hispanics.
Hey, que paso hermano.
Yes, sir.
See you, senor.
So you went to, that was cool.
So were you really homesick?
I was homesick, and then I loved Texas State, and then COVID happened, and I was just like.
Oh, so then you're home?
I just got my real estate license, started working with my dad, and then was like, just didn't, I wasn't really good at school.
So I was like, no, I'm just to do this.
Yeah.
And then I somehow got here.
And what are your parents?
Are they still married?
Still married?
Still paying off a college bill?
I will probably have to, not have to, but I hopefully one day give them a little cash back there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I need to give them some free play.
Oh, yeah.
I think they deserve probably something.
Yeah, yeah.
Like a skateboard or something?
Yeah.
Something probably less dangerous for them.
The Supreme One.
Yeah.
And put a sticker on it.
Even a skateboard you just put on the wall in the room.
A longboard.
Yeah.
Or maybe a line bike.
Or a two-seater, one of those two-seater bikes.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, my step parents used to always go ride on that, man, and everybody in the neighborhood would call him, just yell out queers at him and stuff.
And I was like, what are we doing?
Oh, my gosh.
I'll tell you what, I would take a sidecar for sure.
Those are actually really hard to drive.
Yeah, and those are hard, they're harder to be seen on, I feel like, than driving.
Who cares if you can drive it or not?
I just feel like being seen on that is unbelievable.
That's like a bike helmet.
Like, if my dad ever wears a bike helmet, dude, I'm out.
Yeah, I don't, it's like, I don't, I wouldn't trust the driver on the front of that thing.
Like, you're sitting there and.
Yeah, especially if it's your husband or something, because spouses are always getting rid of their husbands.
Look at these two guys right here.
A couple of Vietnamese guys biking.
So you've never really been in love yet then, huh?
So you don't start dating until after?
Yesterday was probably my first real date.
Nuh-uh.
Yes, sir.
No way.
And he's helping me out here.
Let's look at that.
Let's go.
Bro, your first date.
And where did you guys go?
We went to Eddie V's.
Ooh, it's nice there.
Eddie V's.
They have tablecloths in there.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It was fine dining.
We had some steak, had like two bites of it.
Everyone's trying to stay light.
Yeah, the date doesn't eat much, huh?
No, she felt some pressure, I guess.
Hey, look.
Yeah, a lot of men want to, yeah.
I think women don't, I think, well, sorry to interrupt you.
Go on, tell me more about the date.
So we went to Eddie V's, and then we went out on Broadway.
That was fun.
And then that was it.
Go to some bars?
Some bars.
We were bar hopping.
Yeah, the bars here were pretty crazy.
So it was a fun time.
We had definitely, we both needed IVs in the morning.
Really?
Yeah.
And was it a, I don't even want to be inappropriate.
Was it like sleep in the same bed type of date or was it like a same room gentleman yes sir all respect yes sir yeah yeah yeah yeah here we go you don't need to score all the way in the first half come on it's a it's a first inning here look i feel you here we go i love your attitude man wow dude dude was it did it feel like romantic like how would you how were you feeling i was feeling butterflies butterflies with a little bit of the beer shit i drank on the flight it was
it was getting to me you drank on the flight oh i just don't like flying so i drink a little bit when i fly yeah or maybe a lot but whatever i'm feeling depending on how long the flight is a lot of stepdads and aggressive like business lesbians will drink on flights i noticed come on flights all the time yeah um wow brother and so you've had a couple drinks you get there did you go pick her up or how did you guys do same flight you came together oh yeah wait so you knew her already oh yeah oh i thought you said this was the first date well it's first date
but first time it's a lifelong friend oh it's not lifelong more later in life okay a later in life friend and you're only how old are you 25.
oh yeah yeah so it's a new friend yeah pretty good pretty new yeah pretty new i was calling new love it's like puppy love oh yeah oh i love it it can't even catch a frisbee in its mouth yet yeah exactly you know we were uh stumbling don't know how to hold hands don't know how to walk together i was trying to open doors it hits pretty hard when they're a fast walker calm down so i come back here i'm on camera here please oh wow
so did it feel like there was it must have felt awesome huh it was awesome tell you what i'd do it again well night two day two this could be it another night i know this is uh well now it's getting to the back half so i might have to hit the panic button on the no it's getting that's true the second day but also it's the best it's like if it still feels good that's the best thing you know yeah i think you're right the the worst move is to try to like play all your cards and like be like the hero on the first night or whatever yeah you know that's a rookie
move really that's a rookie move i like to well imprester very well in the beginning and then next time we hang out it's probably not going to be as good that's what i'm saying here we go eddie v's first time yeah cracker barrel next time there you go breakfast breakfast food nothing wrong with biscuits and gravy biscuits and boobies i'm just kidding dude yeah do you remember even feeling like were you ever did you ever have like a crush on one of your teachers or anything i had some you know what you know what i was gonna say dude when it comes
to taking girls for love for dinner you got to get them seafood bro that's exactly you're speaking the language eggs not eggs uh what do you call it crab yeah some people say eggs are the seafood of a farm anyway oh yeah but but yeah women love seafood man because women love the women love to go to the beach seafood is it lives right outside of the beach yeah that's uh that's that's about as romantic as it gets oh i remember one time yeah i took this girl to seafood
we went to lunch and oh and then after i i had like a big crush on this girl and i tried to hold her hand and she wouldn't hold my hand oh that's brutal oh i was like give me back my crab cake yeah start giving her a high i'm like give me it back please yeah that's lump crab meat that's a whole that's king crab brother we need that we need that back yeah this ain't queen crab mama oh yeah we're pulling this out of here oh yeah we we we got the we did hit the wrong person
here um so yeah that's something i know if you women like seafood and and they just like it dude you buy a girl a fish dinner get her a couple um uh fish medallions or however they cut it up they love it man you know what i thought i wonder if it would be cool to date a mermaid or not that would be cool half half real half fake well just their mermaid what is a mermaid
made out of how much is it human and how much of is it fish can you bring that up please i'm guessing 45 no not 45 it'd probably be 60 fish but yeah i'm guessing more 60 fish well it would be do you have a crush on any mermaids or something or no i just thought i was just thinking about it what it would really be like because there's always these kind of like romantic ideas of a mermaid you know yeah but no one ever really thinks about the um day-to-day
of it yeah like you're not going to be able to bring her home there's not going to be any i mean there'll be some intimacy but there's no set there's she doesn't have like a lower so there's just well it's like she's dressed sexy that's the fish scales are like latex you know yeah that's great touch great feeling right but they don't have they're just a fish from the bottom so you'd have to like i think there's yeah there's a lot of you could probably ride on her back underwater that would be pretty cool that would be cool yeah
i guess there's some highlights of it but then what would happen is you'd fall in love you'd bring her home you'd get her a tank oh you'd get her a tank that's the only way you could do it yeah yeah you'd that or a swimming pool yeah and look yeah maybe if maybe like the fifth year anniversary you get her a pool or whatever i don't think you start with a pool right out of the gate yeah i love swim-up bars it's like we we died at a swim-up bar every time that works that works here you go you ever been in um you ever been to a swim-up bar oh yeah i like sitting there and
it's the craziest place where people can just pee on each other like secretly i'd always pee in the pool oh no guilt no survivor's remorse sorry yeah dude our forefathers died for us to be able to pee in pools exactly exactly like the young heroes that we are blood sweat and piss that's it man oh yeah see this would be a relationship you'd be the bartender and she would be the one on the other side i think the bartenders probably know you give a guy four drinks and
he doesn't move he's pissing the whole time he's letting it rip yeah they should actually have like a little piss cop or whatever that swims up oh what yeah maybe a catheter or something something yeah that you could just attach right in like an iv you just put in your in the main vein that'd probably work um okay so what else were we talking about oh yeah being in love dude did you ever so but what what about first loves that you had?
Obviously, you love your mom in like a mother-son way.
Yep.
And you did you ever have a crush on a teacher or anything like that?
I had some really good-looking teachers actually.
Oh, yeah.
I was in second grade, though.
She was Miss Oklahoma.
She was an absolute smokesto.
Miss Oklahoma.
Set the scene so you get in there, huh?
It's regular education.
It went over my head.
My dad, when we got out of there, he's like, your teachers are pretty hot.
I was like, oh, yeah, that's right.
That was more just trying to get in and out.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, when school's tough, you're not thinking about, yeah, you got to stay focused on the grades.
Now, was this regular education, Sketch, or what type of energy was it?
Oh, it's public education.
Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah.
She was, I mean, she was two years removed from Miss Oklahoma, second-grade teacher.
And you're in public education, so you're playing for the Raiders over there.
Oh, yeah.
I was pretty good.
Pretty good school.
Pretty good school.
It was more of like, I don't know, great time.
And were there times that you noticed when you started to feel something for her, Connor, when you had like an age?
You know, it was probably some dreams, probably some thoughts, but it was, you know, I wish it could happen type thing.
Yeah.
What about you?
You ever been in love with a teacher?
Yeah.
We had this lady.
I feel like her name was like Miss Bress or whatever.
I don't even know what her name was.
That's how much like breast that she had.
And she would wear, she wore like, she would button all the way up to here and like with like a doily on the necklace.
You know what a doily is?
What's that?
Show a doily if you can.
Please?
The neck would have, it was like that around the top.
Like it had like a very formal looking.
Oh, like a pilgrim.
Yes.
That's perfect.
Yes, it was like a pilgrim with knowledge.
There you go.
And she would come over by my desk and help me with math.
And her breasts were so warm.
And like, it just felt like it felt like kind of when you go into like a dominoes or something and they're just baking it and everybody's pretty excited, you know, like a new domino.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was just that good, warm feeling.
And she helped me with my math.
And I would like mess up the master.
She would stay there.
It'd be like eight divided by four.
And I'd put like 6,000 or whatever.
That's a good way to do it.
That's a good way to do it.
You got to keep them somehow.
She stayed right there, man.
That's a good call.
I might have to steal that one.
Yeah, bro.
So that was, I think, the first time that I was like really into like a teacher or something.
Oh, yeah.
And I loved that, you know.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh, yeah.
She had the toughest bra, too.
Her bra was like a damn.
It's like a bullpen trying to hold back, trying to hold back some dogs there.
Trying to hold back and a couple relief pictures.
It was like, it was just, it was made by like DeWalt or something.
It was a secret.
Yeah, it had some.
Looked like they were about to pop or something?
It was like a 40-pound test on it.
Sometimes they look like they open up like a missile silo.
Like you just burn.
Yeah.
Come out with a claw.
That's a cool attachment there.
So I just remember her and I just, God, I had a big crush on her.
I had a crush on a lot of teachers, though.
I think it was, yeah, I think because they were around you and they would help you do stuff.
There was something kind of hot about it.
Yeah.
You know, there's a lot of hot teachers out there.
And now a lot of them are making love with the students.
That's true.
We missed out on that trend there.
Run it back.
If I could have a time machine.
No.
Yeah.
Table for two.
Give me one more chance, please.
God, dude.
I don't know if I would have been one of the students that had enough confidence to hit on the teacher, like really hit on it.
Oh, really?
Some of this can't stand up.
Got a waistband.
Oh, yeah.
Pitch in a tent.
The saddest thing would be when you would go up to ask a question or something by the teacher, and then you would get a erection.
Yeah.
And then you had to walk back to you.
So like you would, people would start like learning a moonwalk and shit.
Just like things so they would like, like, so you couldn't tell that they had an erection while they were walking back to their desk.
Yeah.
You get up like you're trying to hide something.
Wait, something's over here.
Or somebody would just walk like this, like just any way to like camouflage.
My secret, if you see me in the morning and I'm holding a blanket in front of me, morning would.
That's what that is.
That's, oh, I'm just holding this.
Walking around.
Fix it.
It's like getting your gut in your holster.
So you're not doing magic or anything that.
Yeah, no, not magic.
You just waistband it.
I'll tell you, you forget about it.
Tuck it and forget about it.
You forget about it.
Top of your dick gets real cold and purple.
It gets frostbite.
He just headless dragon there.
Oh, man.
Dude, I used to want to mail my dick to a starving country or whatever to feed some of the children.
Isn't that crazy?
Oh, really?
It's a hunk of meat there?
I would have dreams about it.
You know, I'd give him more like a mini corn dog if I gave him some.
It's more of a delicacy than a, it's more of a delicacy than an amount here.
Yeah, they're like, hey, this isn't even tipping the scales, guys.
Hey, there's, there's nothing rotting on my thing.
It's just, you know, no, no weird things going on.
Just shoot you straight.
Yeah, that's a good thing.
That is really the best thing about a basic, regular, smallish wiener.
It's like, hey, we're not playing any games here, right?
We know it's not a escalate or whatever.
We just know this is a two-door sedan and it'll get you from A to B. It's perfect for practice.
It's like a kick and tee.
Sit there, pick it up, you know, hopefully practice later.
No, I'm just kidding.
Whoa.
Hey.
Sorry for cursing.
Sorry for everything.
There we go.
So you go to school.
So now you're just sketchman.
So now you are a Lambert Ghini owner, near-sighted, right?
Water deficient.
Water deficient.
Very positive.
Very positive.
Talented.
Thank you, brother.
Energetic.
Thank you, sir.
Handsome?
Hopeful.
So now what do you feel like?
Like, do you feel like are there things that you feel like you want to do now?
Because now you have somewhat of a platform.
Oh, yeah.
Well, like, have you started to think about that?
Has it been kind of scary?
Like, what's some of that like?
Because I think there's a lot of people out there who dream to be in a position where, okay, I'm creating stuff online and it starts to people start to absorb it.
Yeah.
Well, my first thing I'm going to do, we're launching merch.
We plan on donating the proceeds to a charity.
It's going to be our first, first shirt.
And then besides that, I take everything a day at a time.
So it's more of a, I know I want to travel.
I want to meet people.
And that's more of my goal than the money side of things.
But that's kind of what I got planned right now.
Oh, that's good goals.
Yeah.
I would love to go to like Ireland or something like that.
Really?
Are you Dutch or whatever?
You all are Jetson?
I'm pretty Hispanic and native and English.
Oh, wow.
My mom's 50% Hispanic.
Hispanic, native, and English.
My mom's side of the family, her parents were like migrational pickers and stuff like that.
They would travel from up and down the country to pick different types of fruits and stuff like that.
Ooh, I love that.
Yeah.
I love picking fruit.
My grandma used to grow strawberries.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and we would pick them.
What?
I don't really like fruits or vegetables.
I mostly eat chicken.
Really?
Yeah, chicken's like my safe food.
If I know I want to feel good, I eat chicken.
Oh, yeah.
That's like a lot of adolescents eat McNuggets all the time.
Dude, I run up a check at Chick-fil-A, and then they fucked up the chicken.
Now I got to find a new spot here.
I need to find something that does give me a heartburn.
Nashville hot chicken feels great coming in, comes out like dragon's breath.
Yeah, I think it's a risky move having that.
Yeah, those farts have their own climate.
It's like a tropical storm.
It's a real butt.
Yeah, it's a real butt party, I think.
It's like a dangerous butt party.
It's like someone brought a gun to a fun party.
Yeah.
Blacks go burst it.
You might blacks go burst that thing in there.
Little calf shot.
Can't be dancing too much with a stick in your pocket.
Same thing goes with waistband.
You can't be doing too much with it.
You got to keep it pretty.
It's mostly in the shoulders when you have it in the waistband.
Oh, that's a good point, huh?
Yeah, you get too high or low.
You might reveal it.
Yeah, yeah.
And a magician never reveals his track.
True, true.
You know, it's the art of deception and illusion.
It's like you're taking a picture.
Take it from a good point of view.
Take it with a selfie, but that'll disappoint some people.
Yeah, if you're taking dick pictures with a drone, then I think you just have a small dick.
Oh, yeah.
And I think that's crazy.
Take it with a GoPro.
That'd probably do their most favors.
Compare it to a GoPro.
What?
Dude, you're so interesting.
Thank you.
Yeah, you bet, man.
Thank you so much.
I love you, bro.
Spending time with me.
Thanks, man.
That's nice of you to say.
I think there's just something like, it's neat to see somebody that is like unique.
Yes, sir.
People think that that's because everybody feels, sometimes people feel unique and it's like not a cool unique.
It's like, I feel unique, but they'll mispresent it to themselves.
Like, I feel like something isn't, I'm not the same as everybody else.
But instead of thinking, oh, I'm unique, they think, oh, I'm not the same.
I'm not, I'm almost, I'm different or I'm less than, you know?
But you just are like, oh, I'm unique.
This is who I am.
And then to see how much everybody is really interested in, like, really, how much that brings warmth to people, it's pretty, that's awesome.
That's like kind of the thing that I think we want to see.
Thank you.
Yeah, because I just wanted to, when I started, I just wanted to take, I had like small ticks or whatever.
I'd do this with my fingers when I'm excited or whatever.
But it was more of like taking off the barriers.
And that's where the hand motions was like.
Like it was like getting that energy out and like letting it, letting it fly.
But there was a time last year and I just like had a prayer where I was like, I want to be happy.
I want to travel and I want to meet people.
And God answered me like crazy.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
And you really were praying that?
Yeah.
No, he humbled me for sure.
Wow, man.
That's powerful, huh?
Yeah, no.
Power and prayer.
Yeah, I believe that too, man.
100%.
Yeah, thanks for saying that.
It's important.
And you were to pray.
You were thinking, this is my prayer.
This is what I would like.
Yeah, I didn't know it was streaming.
Streaming came out of randomness.
That wasn't like directly after.
I just remember that prayer.
It was like, like, that was like my turning point.
Yeah.
It's like, put your eyes on the Lord, brother.
Hey, I'm looking for the Lord.
I always am.
And I'll say, I'm looking for the Lord.
And somebody told me, hey, the Lord ain't lost.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Drew that.
Drew that, brother.
Follow the light.
Follow the light.
No, it's, yeah.
That's such a good statement, man.
And to put your wishes into the Lord, too.
Not like I want like a, you know, like, I want to get a new Jaguar or I want to get a new, you know, one of those color printers for our mobile home or whatever.
Yeah.
But like a real, like, what is your real wishes, you know?
And a lot of times it is to be happy, to feel of use.
Yeah.
You know?
Like, that's good.
That's exactly kind of like, if you find your purpose.
Yeah.
God has your purpose.
You just got to.
He's just waiting there.
He's poking and prodding.
He's working on you.
He's like an IV.
Sometimes you got to stick that thing a couple of times.
Find the right vein.
Get your stuff rolling in the right direction.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes you got to get your oil changed by the Lord.
Exactly there.
New tires too, brother.
New tires.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus.
Do you think of yourself as like a role model, or what do you kind of think of yourself as?
Is it weird to think of yourself as something?
Because even that is like a little bit of like our ego getting a little wild, you know?
It's weird because like that's where people go like, oh, he's humble or whatever.
It's like, it's easy to be humble on camera, but it's like the more I've like met people and the younger I've seen them, the more I go like, well, I should definitely watch what I'm putting out there and saying.
But yeah, like it's definitely weird to think like any type of role model because it's like, I'm just playing video games, brother.
Do not take my financial advice.
I would put you in the dirt like a stick in the mud.
Dude, this guy answered two emails a day.
Dude, I'm not your guy.
With good morning, thanks.
Yeah, good morning and thanks, brother.
There you go.
I'm just letting them know I'm alive.
That's their way of man.
That green circle was never lit up on my thing.
Keep it vague.
Good morning, thanks.
Maybe a chat soon.
Always from the phone, too.
Never at the computer.
I'll sit some emails just you're in a completely different state.
I'm here, brother.
So that's it.
That's where we're at.
That's where Sketch is now.
You see yourself on, yeah, sports players.
We were at the Cardinals yesterday doing batting practice, and a lot of them are doing some of your terms and some rules and things.
Yeah, it's amazing.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Hey, the Cardinals, shout out to them.
St. Louis.
Yeah, they're doing pretty well.
The Brewers were there too, man.
But yeah, it's just kind of fascinating to see like the effect.
I think that's an interesting thing, too.
It's making people feel like, oh, I can have an effect on one person or a lot of people by being myself.
Yeah.
And that's what was crazy.
It was like the What's Up, Brother, the special, all that stuff was like.
I was like not expecting it.
It was more like I was just making shit up as I'm doing stuff.
Like half of them are like audible calls, like Tuesday or whatever.
Like that just means get on the ball.
But I was just like, I was talking to my quarterback or whatever on the field.
But I got that from when I when I first started, I used to, I did my first stream.
I had like 12 people.
Like it was mostly my friends and stuff.
But I turned off the announcer on Madden and send the games.
And that's how I kind of started getting into it.
Like, you know, I'd announce it like it's a game and then we had a line on it and like some of them would bet it and stuff and like it's pretty fun.
All of them go to like overtime.
It's pretty cool.
Oh, so all the games you would and you would just you could MC your own game like you could be your own so you can like take two teams no one's playing with them.
You just turn off the announcer and then it was just me announcing and it was like a it was like a random football game.
You just get to watch the game?
Yeah.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
We did it and I did it for like a tournament and the way we see you picked your teams and then we seeded it and that's how you had your draft order for the fantasy draft.
Oh nice.
And you guys would just watch it play out?
Yeah.
It was it was exhausting though.
Those games are like 30 minutes and I did probably 20 of them.
Yeah it seems and it seems like a really it seems like somebody who doesn't is not getting a lot of emails at work.
Yeah, no, that is too much free time there.
I'll tell you what.
How do you meet people to play online on Madden?
Do you just meet people like I know you can just like set up with a guy and you both have your screen names and stuff, right?
So that's how you just do you just meet strangers?
Do you randomly pick people or what do you do?
More like DM stuff.
And then I usually like to talk to people before then because I'll like get them up and roast them a little bit.
So like let them simulate all of them know that.
But like it's more like my content like with like Madden and stuff is more like banter with the boys.
So it's like kind of like couch shit talk and stuff.
So it's like people that they're all random.
So it's like I'll just literally whoever I talk to first on the phone or whatever and then say, hey, you want to do this tomorrow?
And then you line it up.
Yeah.
I've gotten to play with like Tyreek Hill, Sauce Gardner, Valentez Berfict, Hunter Dickinson.
Wow.
Yeah, a lot of athletes, but it's pretty fun.
And do you guys play for money or anything or no?
Yeah, we'll do like gifted subs or whatever, which like 25 gifted subs is like $150 or something like that.
But I mean, we would do for like 10 subs, which is like 50 bucks or something.
Just stuff to do stuff.
But it makes it a little more fun having skin in the game.
Oh, I think so.
I think that's what it's about.
Flesh on the table.
It means something.
Do you think there's a team in the NFL that could use a guy like you right now on the field?
On the field?
And be honest with me, yeah.
Yo, definitely.
Probably.
Probably the Jets.
And you can say the Saints.
Probably the Jets.
They need some wide receivers.
Man, the Saints.
The Saints are in trouble, huh?
They're your team?
They're not doing great.
Hell yeah.
Who is their quarterback?
It's probably a truck driver or something.
You got a lot of substitute teachers running routes out there.
A lot of good questions.
Miss Brest is probably the teacher over there.
A lot of good questions, man.
A lot of questions that need to be answered.
I could see you pulling up for the Jets, man, getting a 10-day contract.
10-day?
Fuck it.
Give me a half a year.
Half a million.
We haven't even seen your work.
You had to get sight on scene.
Purchase with.
You don't get to take the toys out of the box, brother.
You got to buy it in the store.
Then you got to take it home.
Hey, buy this land, homie.
There you go.
Hey, hey, please.
Or what about land modeling, dude?
What if they had models for land?
Like, say you take some people out to some land and there's a couple of just legit bitches, legit bitches, not just bitches, legit bitches walking across and modeling that land.
That's perfect.
I mean, some of them do that.
It's literally instead of like that, let's like, you know, ranches with deer, like showing the does and stuff.
Like, oh, look at this.
But doing that, have it like a car wash type thing?
Yeah.
Hot chicks mowing the lawn.
That'd be perfect.
It's not a bad idea.
There's no way if I'm even a little horny, I'm not getting me a quarter acre.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Get you a, fuck it.
You don't need water and sewer.
It's just raw land, brother.
We'll figure it out.
We're living on love.
That's how you sell the shit around the tracks.
That's it, dude.
Better fertilizer.
Yeah.
There's probably some onion.
There's some car tires on that thing you got to dig up out of the ground.
Yeah, just helping Mother Nature work.
Thank you, sir.
What's the proper etiquette on Madden if you're blowing somebody out?
How do you end a game?
Do you end it early?
Do you guys decide?
Like, what happens there?
I usually just, that's rare for me to blow someone out, but I usually just leave the game if it's a random person.
But when I'm playing with other people, like, I usually just finish the game or we'll restart another one.
Usually like 21 points or something like that when it gets when that cheeks are getting a little too rosy.
Yeah.
Slapping that ass.
When, so you're going to do maybe a second date?
it looks like it.
Shane Gilles today.
Oh, you're going tonight?
Yes, sir.
Dude, I'm going.
No way.
Yeah.
What time?
I don't know.
I could probably take you if you need, but if not, I'll meet you over there.
Yeah.
No, he's like.
We're going to seven.
Y'all are?
Yeah.
Oh, then that's when I'll go.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I might even jump on stage with him.
That would be sick.
Yeah, dude.
That'd be great.
Have you been to the Ryman to see him?
No, is it pretty cool?
I saw a bus saying it was one of the most historic places or something like that.
It's pretty historic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure you've played at a lot of crazy places like that.
What is your favorite place you played?
Some interesting places.
Let me think.
I don't know.
We just went to Australia and did some shows recently, and it was really awesome.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah.
How is that?
How was that?
Different crowd triple and a ball be?
It was great, dude.
We got to do this cool show.
Can you bring up the show with, have you seen this show called Beautiful, Tasty, Beautiful?
No, it's that.
There's two guys.
One of them is one of them has Down syndrome.
Oh, yeah, I saw it.
You can't tell them.
Yeah.
It's a secret.
But yeah, I went on their show and it's a cooking show.
That's awesome.
That was one of my favorite things that I got to do.
They live in Australia?
Yeah.
Oh, that's cool.
One of them has Down syndrome.
One of them is just in a fraternity.
Okay.
But they're excellent.
I think he was a Pike or something, something that had more pills.
The Pill Poppers get the cars.
Is that what you knew him as, too?
No, no.
Pike gets pipe.
I'm not confirming or denying.
I don't know.
I might have the whole chapter come after you for that one.
I don't remember.
What comfort just.
I don't know.
So that was something that was really cool that I got to do.
Yeah, I don't know.
Just podcasting is neat getting to meet different people.
But yeah, performing, yeah, some great places.
We're going to London in a couple of weeks to do some shows.
That is awesome.
Yeah, just things like that.
I just can't even believe it.
Yeah.
You know?
When did you start doing stuff?
How old were you?
Like six years ago, I started doing podcasting, and that's when comedy got busy.
But I've been doing comedy for like 15 years, probably 17 years.
And you're so like around in your lower 20s?
Yeah, I started when I was 24. At the same time I started.
Yeah.
Look at us.
I'm looking at myself now.
Council of Rick's here.
Yeah.
Sorry, it looks like this.
Yeah, no.
The shit went left.
I don't know what happened.
Wide left.
It fucking teed off and hit a fucking house.
Got a window bill.
Yeah, what else are we going to give?
What's in the news?
Let's hit a couple news topics, man.
Oh, this was Drake.
Yeah, I don't know if I cared about this that much.
Did you see that?
Yeah.
It came out with a diss track, right?
Of who?
What the fuck you really got to do?
I miss the days.
A lot of rappers used to actually shoot each other.
Oh, yeah.
They do still.
It's just they...
It's bad.
Yeah, that's the problem now.
Yeah.
These guys, you have to wait until you get bigger to do it.
You can't.
Yeah, you've got guys that have put out a half a mixtape and they're just popping off on each other.
Yeah, we had some legends in Houston die too soon.
Yeah.
Rest in peace, Kenny Lou.
He's gone?
Unfortunately, him and another dude, Ghost Magneto, they're great guys, but street life stuff.
Street life got him, huh?
It's sad.
Yeah, it is.
It's pretty wild.
Go inside.
I'll tell you what.
You been in the streets much?
No.
I'm an inside dog, inside cat.
I like the kittle.
I like the kittle.
I don't like to hang out with the big dogs.
It's okay, man.
Tell you what, walk and look here.
That's why I wear these air monarchs.
No one wants to rip these things off my feet.
He's like, shit, you can have them, bro.
Take them.
Take them.
Please leave in them.
They had this video of Tupac that I did see when he was young.
Apparently, he was allegedly a homosexual male.
And I didn't know that.
My name is Tupac Shakur, and I attend Tamapai High School.
And I'm 17 years old.
Do you like being 17?
Like, 17 is such a weird age.
It's such a in the middle age.
You're not 18 yet, and you're older than 16. But I like him.
It's nice.
It's interesting because they never really like push him like that.
They always just kind of, like, the energy about him is always just a little bit more like that he was like a gangster rapper.
Yeah.
You know?
But maybe it's, sometimes they take videos out of context.
That could be true.
I mean, this could be AI.
It could be.
But even then, I think like it's just interesting.
I think for years I've never heard anybody say this.
And then now everybody's been talking about this video.
Yeah, people like to say that stuff now.
Yeah.
Everybody, yeah, the second somebody has any success, also they're gay.
There's also like a lot of like new black gay people like since since like the Diddy thing, suddenly everybody who's black is accusing everybody else of being gay.
I feel like.
Yeah.
It's just kind of wild.
I think a lot of that stuff just in the black community right now is kind of wild, you know?
Yeah.
With a lot of just everybody's accusing each other of being gay.
I think in two generations, everybody is going to be bisexual.
I think, yeah.
Like the richer.
Too much runoff.
Yeah.
Too much runoff and it's that amphetamine chickens.
Dude, that's where I think we're headed.
I think it's just like everybody is going to be, that's where it's going to be.
Yin, yang.
Yeah.
Look at that.
That'd be it.
Just teamwork.
Anything else in the news that was going on?
Oh, New York City proposes rat birth control to reduce population.
That is disgusting.
Huh.
The war on rats.
Hard to imagine.
What in the hell?
But recent viral videos show a city overwhelmed with rodents.
Got the pizza.
I got the pizza.
They're seeing taking over sidewalks.
Living.
Oh, this is rats in New York.
Well, here's what they should do.
They should organize them and Get them to work together, work with the community.
There's too many rats.
They've been trying this for years to get rid of them.
It's getting worse.
There were rats, they saw rats playing double dots the other day somewhere.
It's getting bad.
Those are the ones that are gaining too much knowledge.
They're in subways because they're taking public transportation.
They're pretty smart.
Sorry for cussing, but no, look, if they're at a library, too, I mean, this is crazy.
Look how many rats.
Rat population 2018 to 2022 has gone from 2.2 million to 3 million rats now in New York City.
What year is that that it starts to spike at?
2020.
What happened?
It's COVID.
It was COVID, babies.
Biden or COVID.
I wonder if maybe COVID, like when everything slowed down, they just had a chance to like, So they started going up.
Well, it makes you wonder how many restaurants were serving rat that suddenly didn't have any clientele anymore.
Yeah.
Rail chicken.
Anchorman 2. Anchorman 2. Dude, I can't believe you're going to get out there for your fucking shit.
Front row.
Front row.
She's got great tickets.
Go with the show?
Great tickets.
Because Shane Gillis, have you guys ever seen him before?
Have you ever been to a comedy show before?
That's like her celebrity crush.
I'm going to have to, might have to tank him or something.
Hey, put the glasses on her there.
Let something fly there.
Put the glasses on her, you know?
I will.
they'd probably knock off a couple points there.
I've seen Shane up close.
Shane's a handsome guy.
It's a very, it's just a unique type of handsome, you know.
Yeah.
What else?
Any other news?
Was there one more news story that was good?
I'm trying to think of something that happened.
Red lobster is going under?
No way.
Is it really?
Losing millions on endless shrimp?
Oh, yeah.
They should have took a book out of Carnival Cruise Lawns.
$22 million loss for the year.
Because of Endless Shrimp.
You can't do Endless Shrimp.
That's a trap.
Well, especially a lot of brothers and sisters, if they go on a date, they love Endless Shrimp.
Oh, I would dine and dash.
Dine and Dash.
A couple of those.
Get free pounds.
Yeah.
Oh, if the shrimp is endless, I'm standing on business.
That's what a lot of people say.
I love that.
I love that.
Getting nice and lubed up, too, with a couple drinks.
It turns into a crock pot.
You just got shit wishing to washing in there.
Dude, so now that you're in the dating world, do you feel like you're going to start dating different ethnicities?
Do you feel like there's anything or you just kind of open door?
Look at me.
I'm like the UN.
I'm just here to make love.
I'm a peacemaker.
Peacemaker here.
Dude, thank you so much for making me laugh, man.
I appreciate you coming and spending time.
So you have merch coming out.
Some of that's going to go to charity.
That's really amazing.
You're taking it a day at a time.
Day at a time.
Right?
Yes, sir.
You got your second date ever coming up?
Yes, sir.
Back to back.
Wow.
Look at this.
94, 95 rockets here.
There we go.
Yeah, shit hit the fan after that.
So tomorrow's going to be scary.
Might be 20 years of nothing.
Hey, you could hit a drought, man.
Yeah, that's why you got to load up water.
Pray for rain.
Keep a jug on you and pray for rain.
Hey, it's crazy to see a dehydrated guy praying for rain.
Try to get it somehow.
Hey, it's just the world we're in nowadays.
Everything you want is right in front of you.
Hey, I think you're really, really right.
What thoughts do you have for anybody out there?
Oh, dude, I saw, I was thinking, because you don't have autism.
What do you have?
You have anything?
No, I don't have anything.
He was a regular guy.
Regular dude.
Just like have a quirk or whatever, but it's like more...
So I just don't really, like, I'm trying to hide it was, like, I'd be like.
Yeah, but that's crazier.
Yeah, then to me, yeah, it's way harder.
So like doing this shit and like doing whatever, like, you know, it makes me feel better.
Yeah.
Like, you know, like, I don't know.
Yeah, I like it.
Yeah.
What about?
Yeah, it's perfect.
Yeah, just running, just keeping the things.
There you go.
I move the hands like, you know, kids like an orchestra.
You're just trying to think through.
And you're keeping energy moving through you.
Yeah, that's exactly what I do.
I like that.
Like, I'll pinch my wiener if I get scared or if I'm trying to think.
Here you go.
I'll clinch my butthole when I get scared.
So opposites attractive.
Here you go.
It's like closing the vault.
That's why we're here today.
Dude, they were checking for people with autism at the mall the other day.
Have you ever seen like, have you ever seen anything like that?
No.
Yeah, they had like a pop-up booth or something, and they were, I guess they can check for it at the mall or whatever.
Like a photo booth, go in there or something.
Yeah, it just develops it.
And you're like, oh, this guy.
Yeah.
Whoop, look.
You're green brother.
No, and yeah, a lady was even doing like a, like one of those pen tests with somebody or whatever.
I was like, oh, yeah.
I was like, I don't think that's, I don't think that person has autism.
Why don't you just be drunk?
Yeah.
Check him.
He's got some funky shoes on.
Some guy goes, some guy has to walk home because he can't drive.
His wife's like, what's wrong?
And he's like, I have autism.
Like an angry drunk, too?
He's like drinking nothing but fireball and pissing his pants and mad at the world.
Tuesday, Tuesday.
Tuesday, Tuesday.
Scatch, man, have fun.
I'll see you at Shane Gillis tonight.
And yeah, I just hope to get to see you in the future, man.
Thanks for being somebody, yeah, that makes it just seem like, hey, no matter who I am, I can just kind of be, you know?
Yes, sir.
And I can have some confidence in myself.
And yeah, and I can just have a good time, you know?
Yes, sir.
Thanks for coming and spending time and just making me laugh, man.
It's really exactly.
Thank you for having me.
The hospitality has been amazing.
You know, you're someone I've looked up to for a while.
And it's amazing to be here.
And thank you for having me.
Yeah, you bet, brother.
Yes, sir.
Brother.
And okay, great, man.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Thanks for coming, man.
And I'll see you at the show tonight.
Yes, sir.
Sounds fun.
All right.
Sounds good, brother.
All right, brother.
Thank you, brother.
Bye, brother.
Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mine.