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Nov. 28, 2023 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

02:15:22

E472 Stavros Halkias

Stavros Halkias is a stand-up comedian and host of the weekly podcast “Stavvy’s World”. His new Netflix special “Fat Rascal” comes out on December 5th. Stavros Halkias joins This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von for the second time to chat about cajun santa, thick love in the new world, what happens if America has a “battle of the states”, the unfolding George Santos drama, Osama Bin Laden’s goth son, and much more. Stavros Halkias: https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ DraftKings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code THEO. New customers can get $150 instantly in bonus bets for betting just $5 on basketball. Babbel: Go to http://babbel.com/theo to get 55% off. Factor: Go to http://factormeals.com/theo50 and use code theo50 to get 50% off. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp — go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Ibotta: Download the Ibotta app now and use code THEO to start earning real cash back. Morgan & Morgan: If you’re ever injured, visit https://forthepeople.com/thispastweekend or dial Pound LAW (#529). Their fee is free unless they win. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Alex https://www.instagram.com/mralexlagos Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	Thank you for the support.
	Today's guest has a new comedy special coming out on Netflix on December 5th.
	He's the pride of Baltimore and one of the most entertaining men, young men in the universe.
	Today's guest is Mr. Stavros Halkis.
	Shine that light on me.
	I'll sit and tell you my stories.
	Shine on me.
	And I will find a song I've been singing.
	I'm not mistaken.
	And I've been I knew an Albanian girl.
	Yes, you got her.
	I remember she got her belly button braided.
	I love it.
	Oh, yeah.
	A fierce people.
	Not saying anything about your wife, my friend, but my producer, Albanian, also.
	Really?
	Yeah, Eldis, my boy.
	Big, dumb, block-headed Albanian piece of shit.
	What's up, bros?
	We're going to talk about his new special that's coming out on Netflix.
	When is it?
	December 5th, Fat Rascal.
	Wow.
	Next week, bro.
	Yeah, that's right, dude.
	Thank you, man.
	Thank you.
	Wow.
	This is your first one on there.
	First one on there.
	I did my own on YouTube.
	Yep.
	And then I've just been putting out a bunch of shit on YouTube and social media and shit.
	So, yeah, we put it out there.
	There's something that...
	First of all, we talked about the producer today, Alex Lagos, is in, and he married an Albanian.
	Yes, that's right.
	He did, which, you know, sleep with one eye open.
	That's what I would say.
	Don't leave any livestock unattended.
	She might abscond with your goats.
	Why is that?
	Dude, they just have like a hankering for animals.
	Dude, so in Greece, Albanians are like, it borders Greece, right?
	So my best friend growing up, Albanian, but like the relationship of like Albania and Greece is like what you might say like Mexico is to America, where it's like, there's a lot of illegal immigrants that like will take any job just to be in the country.
	That shows you how shitty Albania is.
	Greece's economy is what they want to get in on.
	You know what I mean?
	Greece has been bankrupted years ago.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But like literally, and my family's from Athens.
	So it's like, you know, we're fucking high class, dude.
	You know what I mean?
	We're like, we're like, we got the Parthenon right there.
	But I went to visit, you know, I went to visit.
	It's right that you can see it, bro.
	I went to visit my friend from Baltimore.
	Our families were in Greece at the same time.
	And we drove to his hillbilly ass hick like village.
	In Albania?
	In right like northern Greece, closer to Albania.
	These motherfuckers still had an outhouse.
	They had indoor plumbing, but they just had it for the love of the game just to also shit outside.
	They're sitting outdoors, really.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Connects you to the mother Gaia.
	Oh, yeah.
	Take that, government.
	I don't need the fucking Department of Sanitation telling me where to shit.
	I'll vote for Trump right there, dude, every time he's shit in the yard.
	Absolutely.
	That's how they're taking the census.
	They're counting how many turns are under people's yards.
	But we went to his fucking village and they straight up had, this was the year, this must have been 2002.
	They had an Albanian indentured servant.
	I'm not even kidding.
	They had this motherfucker that like wasn't allowed upstairs.
	He had his own little fucking basement apartment.
	And they were like, yeah, we couldn't, the last Albanian took our shoes.
	So we couldn't trust him in the fucking main house anymore.
	And I was like, what the fuck is going on?
	I'm coming from Baltimore.
	And I'm like, they have light Albanian slavery in these fucking, in these villages, dude.
	This was 2000, post 9-11.
	It was crazy.
	And you can vote right now on slavery, right now On the YouTube.
	No, look, man, I think, yeah, oh, if I, the first time you see shoes, that's fucking yeah, laces.
	You're like, damn, look at these body tires.
	This will help.
	So, yeah, I guess Albanians.
	And do they have, is there a mental issue with them?
	I think so.
	Really?
	I would, no, I think, I think you, you know, my, I think that's what they would, this guy, this particular guy, I don't remember his name, 100% had a bit of a mental issue.
	Oh, yeah.
	Big smiler, let's say.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	My boy had big smiler, not the best teeth.
	That did not slow him down for one second.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Oh, dude.
	No windows, but still cutting the lights on.
	Absolutely.
	Doesn't kind of joke.
	Disney skip a beat.
	Like they're just hurling, you know, insults at him.
	He's just taking it with a grin and getting some fresh well water for supper.
	You know what I mean?
	Doesn't bother him at all.
	Heavy petter, dude.
	Oh, yeah.
	Kind of dude that'll just stir a thing of hot soup with his hand.
	Absolutely.
	Those nerves have been dead for years.
	Those nerves have been dead after multiple raccoon bites.
	That thumb is dead, dude.
	Let's just say hip-hop hooray bees, dog.
	Yeah.
	They should study him, dude.
	How he survived.
	They should study him.
	It would take about 40 minutes.
	Yeah.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah.
	If you go, well, it would be one.
	There's one extra something.
	That would take a little longer.
	But dude, that extra chromosome, there's also, it must have creatine in it because a lot of people that are, you know, a lot of people call them mentals or, you know, people that are missing in action but aren't missing.
	Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
	Those people are the torque that's in them.
	Well, yeah, they're literally more, they're one extra amount dude.
	So they are stronger.
	They're hyper masculine.
	That's that extra chromosome.
	Is that true?
	Absolutely, yeah.
	So the extra chromosome.
	Or at least that's one type, one style.
	Okay.
	I don't know if it's, we're talking downs right now, I believe.
	I had a friend whose, whose son had the extra, and I think the extra.
	X is girls, Y is dudes, I believe.
	So if you're X, Y, Y, that means you're like a turbo bro.
	Yeah.
	So those motherfuckers, hairy, you know, eyebrows wild, jacked, jacking off fast, you know, at a young age.
	Oh, they can jack off and then catch it on their eyebrows.
	Absolutely.
	Like, we're talking like, yeah.
	It's like hanging up the Christmas lights.
	Oh, damn.
	Look at Randy.
	An icicle.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Bells ooh.
	Dude, we had, yeah, we had an uncle.
	He used to masturbate in his sleep, right?
	He had, I think he had an iron deficiency or something.
	So that whenever he stayed over, my mom made one of these jingle bells on his wrists.
	Ironically, the more they jingle, little iron probably peeled off.
	Oh, I sent him a shot.
	Went into his bloodstream.
	His hand full of iron, puts it on his open cock, and it gets into his bloodstream.
	It's a win-win.
	Yeah, I think she just wanted to keep things, you know, if he started cleaning himself out.
	She wanted to keep things cultured.
	Of course, it's a good safety mechanism, too.
	But I'm just saying the silver lining, he might be up, you know, he might have more energy throughout the day because his iron levels are regulated.
	Well, I think he was missing some silver linings, which is probably going to be.
	But yeah, he was copper heavy, dude.
	You can see some of those dudes.
	We had a guy in our neighborhood, was fucking had extra copper in his blood or whatever.
	And he had real heavy eyelids.
	So when they blink down, his whole head would kind of go down like that.
	That's tough.
	And then he had a C1 cervical issue.
	He had, I think, some kind of spinal issue because of the.
	Sure, the constant heavy blinking.
	That copper, baby.
	That's going to take a toll on the neck.
	Either it's going to get stronger or you're fucked.
	And he just didn't have it in him.
	He didn't have that thick neck.
	Yeah, he didn't have that torque in him.
	But yeah, congratulations, Alex, too.
	Alex just, and he knocked up the lady.
	We got a half on deck.
	Alert the fucking maternity ward.
	He got a fucking hand with some slippery fingers.
	Yeah, just say, hey.
	He's going to take the other baby's pacifiers out of the fucking.
	Hey, hide the fentanyl patches.
	We got an Albanian.
	That would be the best cartoon.
	If you ever did a cartoon, it would just be Albanian.
	Absolutely.
	Albanian babies.
	Yeah.
	Clarity is safe.
	Guys.
	Well, in the Bronx, they're like, that's the mafia.
	Albanian babies.
	Albans.
	Well, yeah, babies.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I'm sure there's some tough Albanian babies.
	Yeah, Albanians, there's something about that Russian, like, you know, you'll get your child like a doll made out of stone.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Get your child like a 30-pound doll.
	Yes, like, yes, absolutely.
	A real life golem.
	You get them a real Jewish folklore.
	They're like, look, we're going to have to train against these because they tend to also be anti-Semitic and they think golloms are real.
	So they get their baby.
	Oh, yeah.
	Are they really anti-Semitic?
	Well, I think a lot of the Eastern world is.
	Really?
	Well, because you got to look at Europe, they figure ways to be racist.
	Like, Yugoslavia broke up because Serbia thinks they're different from fucking Croatia or whatever, right?
	To like, you wouldn't know the fucking difference, right?
	I barely would.
	Or is it that they also respect their individuality more?
	I'm not that.
	Is that part of it too?
	That like, because are they anti-everything?
	Are they anti-like.
	Yes, they definitely think they're the man.
	Right.
	Every, like, they think like each little fucking village, it goes back to like village shit.
	So it's like, but that, but it's so funny to be like, you'll see people who will kill, you know, grandmothers over this conflict.
	And then you like zoom out and it's like, same fucking guy.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, there's nothing different.
	It's like the track suits are slightly different colors.
	You know what I mean?
	But they're the same type of, they're, you know, same dude.
	But it is funny to have like, there's, everyone has pride.
	In that part of the world, everybody has pride.
	And then it's like, you can drive through the country.
	Like, you can drive through Greece in eight hours.
	It's not a big fucking country, but like, yeah, dude.
	It's crazy when you go through a trip to Europe and you're like, the French and the English just for thousands of years fought each other and they're fucking, you know, a 20-minute helicopter ride apart.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, it's like getting to Queens from Queens to JFK.
	It's like that's part of France is that close to England.
	It's fucked up.
	Dude, that's why, yeah, it is crazy to think.
	Sometimes I wish we still, I wish we had more stuff like that.
	I wish we would sometimes go to state governments.
	Do you think that we could end up like that over here?
	Go more individual state-wise, like, you know, the original sort of conception where everybody has their own little vibe.
	Yeah, I think it would just be, I mean, it would make sports would be so much more exciting because you would be like, if Georgia is playing California, they are playing California.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Well, that is what's cool about, like, I love soccer, obviously.
	And that's the one thing American sports misses is that, like, these are countries that literally fought each other.
	Like, when you have fucking Algeria playing France, those motherfuckers colonized Algeria.
	Like, Algeria wants to fuck them up.
	So it is cool.
	But yes, I think you're right.
	It would be a real, there'd be a real melee situation.
	I think about that sometimes where it's like, yeah, what does happen if we just, you know, everyone, everyone calls each other's bluff and we're just like, fuck you, fuck you.
	We're separate countries.
	And then we see what happens.
	I think it would be really exciting.
	And I think, well, it would definitely be more exciting.
	And also the states are getting really different.
	You're having states that are like going bankrupt.
	You're having states that are keeping it together.
	You're having states that are like, you know, that can't take care of their people.
	You're having states that can take care of their people.
	Totally.
	You have states that have like legal gun carry and states that, you know, it's like, I think you're getting, they seem to be getting more separate than together.
	And I think we as a country seem to be getting like that at times.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it's also fucking huge.
	You do think about it.
	You're like, this really shouldn't be one country.
	We really shouldn't break it up.
	I would love to have a couple countries.
	Yeah, give a couple countries, you know, still no past, still like, like the EU.
	I can go vacation there.
	You know what I mean?
	I don't want to have to do a bunch more paperwork to get in.
	But you know, that's the other thing.
	You know, the culture war shit would get so annoying where it would be like, if you're from New York and you just want to come hang out in the South, you know they would fucking, they would fuck with you a little more and vice versa.
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	They would be like.
	Yankees.
	Yeah.
	Absolutely.
	But you'd have to, you'd have to wear like a gay patch.
	Yeah.
	You know, if you went to super gay, you mean?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Or like a Star David thing or whatever.
	Yeah.
	There'd be certain places where it's like, if you're trans, we want to know.
	Yeah, just put a patch on.
	We're not.
	We just want to know what we're dealing with.
	Coming to Florida.
	Yeah, look, it's hunting season just started, and some of these guys can't see well.
	So we would.
	Yeah, we would have.
	Look, if you're sexually uncertain, we need you to put this orange vest on.
	Yeah, because we want to know if we fuck you, if it's gay or not.
	That's it.
	Nothing to do with you.
	It's all about our accounting.
	We keep track of our own.
	You're on vacation.
	We're not going to fuck with you.
	But if you get sucked off by our pal, he gets one gay strike.
	Yeah, three strikes and you're out.
	Three strikes, they take a little bit of your penis away.
	Unless you get elected to be a senator, you get two more strikes.
	Yeah, that would be, yeah, that's interesting.
	It would make, yeah, making state government even gayer, which is hard to do.
	Dude, I just put, I think it would be neat.
	There would be more excitement about your state, I think, or you would have to take more state responsibility.
	I think, what would be some of the good points of that, I wonder?
	Well, I think a lot of it would be you would get to decide how to spend the money.
	I worry that I think it's a good idea in theory.
	And again, I don't fucking know because it's been so long since I've actually known shit like this.
	But I think a lot of states depend on federal funding way more than we realize.
	Yeah.
	Let's say Mississippi.
	Right, right, right, right, right.
	I think what would happen is like, and also it's like, once you stop being different, once you stop being, like, you could in theory be like, well, we're not going to spend money on the military.
	Like, there could be like, you know, liberal states that are like, we're putting our money into whatever the fuck.
	And then it's like, first of all, who gets all the, who gets all the fucking planes?
	That's, would we play like rock, paper, scissors for that shit?
	Well, the military would still have to be a general consensus unless you'd have state military as well.
	Right.
	But you would, you, what you're talking about essentially is becoming independent countries.
	Based on or coalitions, you know what I mean?
	Like if you broke it up into four states.
	Maybe divided up by population.
	Yeah, maybe.
	It would be, yeah, it would definitely be exciting, bro, to have that go on in our lifetime.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, we started out as a country.
	We couldn't do it.
	Couldn't do it.
	And so we started to separate.
	Why wouldn't you fuck up the like the liberal count, the liberal country, though?
	Like, it just feels like it would be a quick, like, all the place with guns.
	If I were a gun guy and we, and you gave, if you took, you know, New York and LA, these huge economies, it's like, why don't we just go fucking kill those guys?
	Like, it would be, why wouldn't you just declare war and be like, dibs on, you know, this shit?
	Yeah.
	Oh, I think it definitely at New Year's Eve, when it was like the time where you shoot guns in the air, I have a feeling everybody would just turn their guns right over the state they don't love.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Absolutely.
	So the bullets all flew over the air.
	Yeah.
	Well, who knows?
	I know.
	Who knows where it comes down?
	Not my problem.
	I'm celebrating.
	You're just unloading the guns.
	Or an Albanian wedding, maybe.
	Let the clip sing, let the chopper sing for an Albanian wedding.
	Oh, dude, that's fun, man.
	I would live, where would you live?
	I would have to stay.
	I would have to stay in the whatever Northeast country would be.
	I would be a New York guy.
	think so.
	Yeah, I think you would be a...
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I would hope Baltimore and New York would be in one kind of mid-Atlantic.
	I think that's what would happen.
	You'd have kind of like a, you know what I mean?
	You'd have clumps.
	It wouldn't be just 50. It wouldn't be 50 countries, what we're talking about here.
	Oh, you say we'd probably get down to maybe 20 states or something?
	20, maybe 10. You know what I'm saying?
	Maybe fucking five.
	Who fucking knows?
	What if it was some weird state that formed all across the Georgia Fornia?
	They just took, or just, yeah, took all the coastline.
	They're like, we're the beach state.
	Suck my dick.
	You want to come to a beach?
	You got to fucking, you got to go through me.
	That would be fucking bullshit.
	Dude, if San Francisco like commandeered like all like certain like red, like all the they owned all the like certain rest areas along the way.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Well, that's what you do with the homeless.
	Put them to work.
	Give them a couple guns.
	Give them, you know what I mean?
	Like, you would have, you would have the, you, you could have the homeless Marine Corps.
	You know what I mean?
	Where it's like, they just got needles, you know, they got little Wolverine hand needles coming at you.
	You know what I mean?
	That's.
	Oh, where they're all, they have like a big needle.
	Yeah, yeah, one giant needle.
	And they just load it up.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And then they just run and inject it at somebody.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Is it fentanyl?
	Is it hormones?
	Who knows?
	Yeah, dude.
	I got an arc hand.
	You're just hitting each other with different needles.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That is interesting because my gut reaction would be, well, whoever has guns, you know, southern states, whatever would fuck it up.
	But every time I feel like you look at Fox News, it's like a different guy that's so scared to go to New York City, who's like the toughest guy.
	It's like you have guns and shit, but you're scared of the homeless.
	So it's kind of a natural, it would be a natural like stalemate where it's like, we would just need a wall of patrolling and then give them houses, give them little sick homeless huts.
	Lean twos on the outside.
	Absolutely.
	Get a shanty town.
	Teach farming to homeless people.
	I wonder if, well, I think one of the big issues with the homeless is just that it's, there's two, there's like half people are not doing well.
	Half the people are drug users.
	There's huge beef on the street between homeless and just drugs on this drugs, sleeping outdoors doing drugs.
	Right, right, right.
	Yeah.
	We don't know about that.
	Get out of our community kind of thing.
	Right.
	There's a, yeah, there's a lot of beef out there between those two cultures.
	I get that.
	I get that.
	Yeah.
	Dude, I talked about this before, I think, but they had in Los Angeles, my apartment is right by a big park, right?
	And it's hella homeless out there.
	There's a dude that they caught killing, he had a rooster, and then they finally found the dude that had it, right?
	He was waking everybody up, right?
	For a four-block radius, this fucking thing.
	They finally found it.
	No chickens, just the rooster?
	Well, he ended up killing the bird and doing a meal with it.
	Oh, nice.
	And then they had another pair of guys, and one of them, I think, was a woman, but whatever.
	Sure, sure.
	Everybody can do what they want.
	Yep.
	And, but yeah, they were two men.
	And then they stole a bunch of high school band equipment, right?
	So, bro, it was.
	That's awesome.
	Crazy.
	If they're going to do homeless crime, make it fun.
	You know what I mean?
	With your dick hanging out of your old-dash sweatpants.
	They were just, bro, they had a ted sheet music from a high school.
	It was awesome.
	Oh, God, it was fucking...
	You got a lot of time.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, let's learn how to play the fucking French horn, dude.
	The fuck, that's nice.
	Yeah.
	There's some guy playing taps every night when they go to bed.
	I love that, dude.
	That's fucking sick.
	Yeah.
	Man.
	But, dude, congratulations.
	There is something that, or I don't know if you feel it, because you're from a little bit younger generation than me, right?
	Or, you know, probably 10 years younger.
	So do you feel like, was there a level of getting Netflix that made you, it made you feel a certain way?
	For sure.
	Was there?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I think part of it was like, these last couple years went better than I thought possible.
	You know what I mean?
	Like I put out the special and I started posting clips and people just responded in a way that I'm still confused a little bit about where I'm like, or these like theaters and shit like that.
	And part of me was like, this is fucking sick.
	I'll always continue to do this.
	I love having control over how like people interact with my shit.
	But at the end of the day, there is something, there's a huge, a totally different type of audience on Netflix, mainstream people that really, even though everything's moving online, that's like shit moves slower than people give it credit for, right?
	So there's still so many people that like don't know who the fuck you are if you're just on YouTube, even though it might, even though it really helps selling tickets.
	So it was like, I was just like, I want one, like I have no mainstream credits.
	I have not one like, you know, no fucking late night, no, you know, no TV, none of that shit.
	So it was just like, let's get one real one and let's let it be a place where everybody fucking, it still has that like, cause there's no Comedy Central hour anymore.
	There's no HBO special anymore.
	I mean, I know they exist, don't get me wrong, but it's like Netflix for a while, I think, became the place for comedy.
	And so, and I think they kind of, they realized that with everybody doing YouTube, like everybody who got specials recently, you know, you look at Shane, you know what I mean?
	Like Sam, Mark, Schultz, whatever.
	Everybody, me, we all had to fucking go do it.
	We had to almost prove it.
	And then Netflix's like, oh, fuck, this, this is going away.
	Yeah, like, but then they're doing a good job of like, they're like, no, do it here now.
	And I think it's been a really good thing of, for comedy where it's like, we all made our own fan bases.
	And now it's like, now some of us are bringing fan bases there.
	But then it's like, there's regular motherfuckers that just want to watch, you know, I mean, the office is on Peacock now, but like the office, just some mainstream shit that have no fucking clue who I am.
	So it was huge.
	It was, it does feel really cool.
	And a lot of people, it's funny because people in your audience will be like, dude, Netflix, hell yeah, that's huge.
	And it's like, it is, but also like, you're here.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, you found me already.
	Why does it matter that I got Netflix?
	But like, it does still matter.
	And to me, it feels cool because it's like, you know, it feels like the place where theoretically it could be some huge, not that I'm banking on to be some huge hit, but it's like you're at least in the mix where it's like all the mainstream shit is On there, so it's like you're at least you feel like you're in a different, you know, kind of in a little bit of a different like league, a little bit, yeah.
	So it's cool.
	No, it's interesting, yeah, because I think it used to feel like, yeah, if you got a special on something or you got, it wasn't, you couldn't tell your friends you were a comedian.
	It felt like, right, this is just my perception that you until you got something on television, you know, or something, you know, something on streaming, something somewhere.
	Until then, a lot of people thought you were just like a gay guy, like trying not to be gay.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like, damn, like, dude, this guy, yeah.
	This is how he gets it out of his system.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know, he can't sing, he can't dance.
	All these guys telling little stories.
	He tried playing the homeless trombone.
	He got blown off the fucking streets.
	So now he's got to do his gay little stories.
	Yeah, that is it.
	It really is art for the least talented people in the world.
	That's what we're doing.
	It's like, we have no, we are not showmen.
	You put us in the 20s when everyone, how you doing, my lady?
	You know, in between, they had to be their own dance guys.
	We're fucked.
	We just got to tell humorous stories.
	Yeah, we would be on a warm poster.
	Oh, my God.
	Dude, we were peeping towns before they had windows.
	Yes, absolutely.
	Just be just trying to put your cheek up against a woman's window and maybe she rubbed her tits on it for a second.
	Some of that heat gets through that window.
	God, I miss all that, and I love that.
	You know, yeah, but there was something about getting it in a place.
	And I think having it in a place where it's like, I think it starts to, if there's any, I was just wondering, there used to be this thing in our heads that would be like, oh man, this thing's spinning.
	And if I don't get, once you get something in a place where people can go view it, then it feels like you're at least you've achieved some goal.
	Totally.
	You know, if it's a success, but it's a goal.
	No, I really feel that way a little bit where it's like.
	That's what I was wondering.
	Is it still like that?
	It feels like a fucking save point in a video game.
	Right.
	You know what I mean?
	You can save it now.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's like I can take a break.
	Right.
	Because, dude, I've been fucking, I've been going, like, I've been not, since the pandemic ended, it's like, it literally has just been like my road business and my, like, you know, mine has kept growing to a point where I felt like I couldn't stop.
	I was like, I needed some tangible thing, even though that's a little in your head.
	I think we're both, and a lot of people are just a little neurotic in comedy where you have to feel like you have earned a break.
	And to me, it does, this thing does feel that way where it's like, I worked hard as fuck, put out a special, busted my ass to get more material in a year so that I could potentially do this.
	And now it's like, we saved.
	I'm going to go fuck.
	I'm going to do some side quests.
	I'm in Vice City.
	I'm going to go.
	I'm going to go to the, do the cheat, the hack where they suck you off.
	You know what I mean?
	I'm going to go.
	I'm going to go to the beach and shoot.
	You know what I mean?
	Just like hang out.
	I can't wait to do that.
	But yeah, it definitely feels that way.
	And it's hard because there's not a lot of that stuff anymore.
	A little bit of it feels like we don't know a path.
	There are no answers.
	The thing that's except maybe your own podcast, which is kind of why I started one too, where it was just like, that's like you're connected to your people once a week.
	And I love that aspect of it.
	But everything else, dude, YouTube could fucking decide we don't want dirty shit on our platform tomorrow.
	And then what the fuck do you do?
	You're fucked.
	And it's like, even, you know, Instagram, take that, all those motherfuckers can change their algorithm like that.
	They could ban you.
	I got plenty of shit.
	You know what I mean?
	Plenty of people.
	All comedians have said some wild, bannable shit if they decide to switch up.
	So it's like, so it does, but this does feel like, hey, I have this body of work at least where it's like the big picture thing, that's there.
	And then it'll help with all this other shit until we figure out what the next thing is.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's cool, man.
	Well, congratulations, dude.
	Thanks, dude.
	You really deserve it.
	And yes, but it was cool.
	I know you and I crossed paths a couple weeks ago.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we were both in Cleveland.
	In Cleveland?
	Yeah, yeah.
	That was cool.
	That was awesome.
	Yeah.
	That was fucking sick.
	Yeah, that was cool, man.
	You were in Akron, the house of, you were playing Akron, where LeBron, LeBron was built.
	Yeah, the darkest theater I'd ever been in.
	Very dark.
	I had no idea how gigantic it was.
	I literally thought, I was like, oh, cool.
	Theo's doing like, he wants to do some small theaters and shit.
	I thought it was like people right in front of us, and then they turn the lights on, and this motherfucker goes up like that high.
	That suicide section, huh?
	Oh, we do five or six guys dive off there, you know.
	Yeah, bungee jump off that bitch.
	Yeah, a couple dudes out of auditioning for Antifa at my shows or whatever.
	Yeah, dude, it's crazy.
	We had a show last night.
	I am tired, man.
	We had a show last night in Huntsville.
	Hell yeah.
	What was I thinking about?
	Oh, when you said federal funding.
	Oh, so if, say, if they did divide into states, right?
	So Louisiana, there was a time where they were given federal funding and they said we had to change our drinking law from 18 to 21. Can you pull that up, Alex?
	What?
	That's bullshit.
	And we said.
	Fuck you.
	We said, fuck you.
	Not only are we going to be drunk, but we're going to let our roads deteriorate.
	So we drive.
	Yeah, yeah.
	The following year, there was like 7,000 drunk driving days.
	They're like, fucking try us, motherfucker.
	We don't care.
	They're like, it's babies with fetal alcohol syndrome driving.
	Yeah, it's Albanian babies.
	Pull up an article.
	This if you see something like that.
	That's fucking awesome, dude.
	Yeah, this is a good thing.
	I respect that so much.
	But we tried, I remember, to do that.
	And for a few years, it stood up and everybody's excited.
	We can drink, you know, but then everybody's family kids were dying.
	Babies were dying.
	Like, ah, man, we shouldn't drink.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And for three years.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It is funny, though, if you watch like clips of when they pass drunk driving laws, people are just like, are you fucking kidding me?
	In my own truck?
	Yeah.
	The government is trying to fucking, now they're in my F-150.
	What's next?
	You know what I mean?
	It's like people fight good, like any regulation tooth and nail, which I, it's like the way a baby's like, I'm not going to bed.
	Suck my dick.
	And then they, you know, they wake up.
	And this, look, let's say this.
	This baby doesn't smoke cigarettes and has had a history of gambling online to be able to say that kind of stuff.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He's got a dirty mouth, a foul mouth, baby.
	Yeah, this baby worked offshore for a couple years.
	Here it says, published March 10th, 1996 at 5 a.m.
	Let me see, for a year.
	Let me see.
	Last week, the Louisiana Supreme Court ruled that the state's drinking age of 21 is a form of age discrimination and tossed out the 1995 law as well as the 1996 law that barred those under 21 from buying alcohol.
	Louisiana has become the only state in the nation with a drinking age of 18. That's not still how it is, though, is it?
	No, they had to change it at some point.
	When the potholes were so big, it was just swallowing entire cars.
	Oh, there's people doing like spas in a pothole where they put a heating rod down into a pothole.
	That's fucking awesome.
	Yeah, dude.
	They had people, yeah.
	Some people drove into a pothole, dish.
	They filmed that movie Tremors in a Pothole there.
	Yeah.
	They had a whole soundstage down there.
	Oh, there's people.
	Dennis Squaid was in there.
	Elon Musk is doing something down in one of them.
	Yep.
	When there's little tunnels.
	My man loves tunnels.
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	Whatever your diet is, they'll do it for you.
	What about, so the holidays?
	What was it like?
	What's the holidays like up in Baltimore?
	Because Baltimore and New Orleans are pretty similar, bro.
	Yeah, they're both.
	Well, I, first of all, New Orleans rocks such a sick city.
	But yes, they both are cities with their own like vibe.
	But I don't know.
	I mean, we were, my family just did not, Greek people didn't have Thanksgiving.
	Oh, really?
	So like we, we absolutely, we adopted that shit while we were here.
	Obviously, like, you know, you're here, you live in America, whatever.
	But like, my family was not a turkey family.
	My dad, we would always get a leg of lamb.
	We would always have lamb.
	And we would go, our Thanksgiving was, we would always go to my brother's godmother's house, who lived just in the hood, truly.
	Like, she, I don't know what the fuck happened.
	She's the only, she's like a four, six woman, both dimensions, just a nice squat.
	Wears a 38, 38 pant.
	Absolutely, dude.
	All shoulder.
	She rules.
	Yeah.
	She's so, she's like very, you want to talk about low center of gravity.
	You cannot move this woman, believe me.
	She digs her heels in.
	And she just like lived in the fucking, like East Baltimore in the 90s.
	It was fucking brutal.
	And like, that was the first time I was ever scared of a neighbor because as a little kid, you don't know anybody.
	It's not like, by the way, Greektown was not good.
	But we would go there and be like, what the fuck is going on here?
	Like, you know, kids just playing like basketball with like legitimately not ball, like what with objects.
	Yeah, there'd be kids playing with like a big orange.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And they draw the lines over the marker.
	Very large orange, you know.
	They peel that, you lose, you have to peel it for the winner and serve it to him.
	If you lose, you get scurvy because you don't have the correct vitamin C. It was the only orange that, you know, live in a food desert, of course, in the hood.
	So it's the only orange for miles.
	So it's a coveted thing.
	But yeah, and it wasn't literally, it was like, you know, like not a real hoop.
	It's like one of those crates that you cut out.
	And I was just like, what the fuck?
	And we were not, it was the first time I was like, what the fuck's going on here?
	And like, why does she live here?
	Because I always thought she was rich, like in my head.
	I don't know.
	She just carried herself like a, you know, rich woman, I guess.
	And we would just go there and just like, you know, have, watch the parade, have a bunch of weird half Greek, half American dishes.
	She made some weird mushroom rice and just her sons would fuck us up.
	You know, like that rough housing of just like, if you're, if you're four and some woman's got teenage sons, they are just, you know, tossing you around, slapping the fuck out of you, being like, you're a bitch if you tell.
	You know, I'm not a bitch.
	Yeah, you're not a bitch, but you're in a neck break.
	And then you punch them in the dick.
	That's the one move like a little kid has when they're fighting like a teen is just the nice cock punch.
	Oh, yeah.
	But that was our holidays were real, you know, and then Christmas was just.
	Did they have a Santa?
	Would you ever do a Greek Santa?
	Not a Greek, yeah, Greek Santa's.
	Or a Baltic.
	Tell me what you want.
	Yeah.
	Harry, you know, over here.
	Ooh, beautiful girl.
	Come here.
	Greek Santa's like the 16-year-old hostess at the diner's like, I tell you what you want, no problem.
	Come here.
	I have.
	I have for you.
	You not tell my wife.
	Miss Clause don't need to know.
	Yeah.
	Greek Santa, all the kids get a handful of feta from his pockets.
	It's like, reach inside, not too deep.
	Do not reach deeper, eh?
	Everybody have to have feta.
	But we waited.
	We waited in line to see Santa Claus.
	Yeah, I loved all that shit.
	I loved all that whimsical American shit.
	Because that's the other thing.
	Greek people do.
	Christmas is actually not a big deal.
	New Year's is when you give presents.
	They tried that.
	We were like, look, motherfucker, you moved to America.
	I'm getting my shit on this party.
	I'm getting my shit on December 25. Yeah.
	Maybe even the 24th.
	But yeah, we were just.
	Yeah, I'm trying to think of what they had in our town.
	If you want to go see a Santa.
	Do you have a little Hootinani?
	They had a dude.
	Yeah, they used to have this place.
	It was like secondary bread or something.
	You ever seen one of them shops where it's like, you go get the bread, but they should have sold it the other day?
	Sure.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	These soup kitchens.
	Your mom's like, we're going to a store, Theo.
	It's all bread in there.
	But they'd have a dude over there.
	He would pull up this kind of Cajun Santa, bro.
	And he'd be like, what do you want there, buy?
	Yeah.
	Come on.
	If you don't fan or left.
	You're going to get your boy.
	Yeah, Cajun Santa Fe.
	You want a lisp?
	Like, he gave out the lane.
	He gives out lisps.
	It's like, you have ailments from Cajun Santa.
	You got a cleft lip now, boy.
	You're going to wake up without your front tooth.
	You want a little cleft palate from Santa, huh?
	Yeah.
	Your left leg is going to be two inches longer than your right leg from now on.
	Let me see if I got a little polio in my sack for y'all there, boy.
	Something that'll slow you down in the fault.
	The friendship of an alligator.
	He just gives you mystical presence.
	There will be one Gator, he'll be your friend, but there'll be three Gator be your enemy.
	He would be like, let me hold your hand and together we'll pray for your dead twin that was never born.
	I'm like, dead twin?
	His eyes roll back in his head.
	He's like, tell mommy, Todd's going to get her next.
	Oh, that's too much Phanteria for one day for Pandora.
	Oh, I need gumbo.
	Quick, get him some gumbo so he can tell the future.
	Oh, man.
	Get that boy, Crawl Dad.
	Somebody get the head.
	Let him suck on the head.
	Somebody let him suck on the head, too.
	Keep it quick.
	Keep power.
	Keep his energy up.
	That's his present, too.
	It's like Crawl Dad, she didn't suck on to completion.
	I left a little head on the meat.
	A little meat on the head there for you, boy.
	You've been a good boy.
	I got you a hot warm oyster out of my pocket.
	Let me give you a warm oyster and a couple of Narcan tablets.
	Welcome to New Orleans, baby.
	Let's hear of Lil Wayne's a box of short from when he was in the hot boys.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we got a picture of Lil Wayne's boxer short.
	Police investigating viral photo taken at Maul, Louisiana.
	Santa cash and gun.
	Let's see what happened here.
	There they go.
	That's fucking sick.
	Oh, yeah, that's some dudes.
	Oh, that's a great pick.
	And what the article said there, brother.
	I hope the police are searching them to give them the key to the city.
	Baton Rouge photo showing two men posing with stacks of cash and a handgun alongside a mall, Santa.
	That's a fucking sick look, dude.
	And look at Santa.
	He's doing a dab, dude.
	That's awesome.
	He's a couple dances behind.
	I'm trying to catch on to black culture.
	Yeah, dude.
	Dab came after the Dougie, bro.
	Get it together.
	One of them hadn't seen in the photos, 29-year-old Almonzo Paul.
	Almonzo is such a sick name.
	Oh, it is.
	Nope.
	No, not Alonzo.
	Almonzo.
	Throwing an extra M in Alonzo.
	It's a power move.
	Almonzo.
	Dude, yeah, I love it.
	Yeah.
	Was arrested Thursday on an unrelated warrant out of Texas.
	Wow.
	Snitching.
	For having some Christmas cheer.
	It's fucking illegal to have a nice time with Santa Claus now.
	I think it's the nine millimeter that got him.
	I thought this was America.
	That could be a Glock.
	Yeah, it's not.
	This is one of the most American Christmas pictures I've ever seen.
	What are you supposed to do?
	Not go shopping?
	He's got money.
	Santa's at a mall.
	He's putting money back into the fucking economy.
	That's true.
	And he's protecting himself with his Second Amendment rights.
	Now, did he get that strictly legally?
	Who's to say?
	Oh, now we care about fucking government red tape.
	Yeah, how do we know we ain't a lifeguard, bro?
	And we need more black lifeguards.
	We need more black lifeguards, bro.
	Those pools get testy.
	Yeah, let's just say this.
	We need more black lifeguards.
	Look at me, Biden.
	Somebody.
	Joe, here's how you're going to win.
	Here's how you're going to win the next year.
	More black lifeguards.
	Dude, they should.
	What did I see this morning?
	Oh, Joe, talking to some kid.
	Do they have another thing with a kid up there?
	I feel I'm at the point with Biden just they, it's not, it feels like they shouldn't do this to an old person.
	Dude, it's fully elder abuse.
	That's what I feel like.
	Yes, yes.
	And it feels like it's almost like they're trying to create Stockholm syndrome within us that we think it's crazy.
	Like, if it were my dad or grandpa, I would be like, hey, don't do this to him.
	Look how sad he looks.
	Holy fuck.
	He looks so fucking sad.
	Dude, the other day, one of the things.
	First of all, that looks like a guy wearing a Joe Biden mask.
	Somebody get that motherfucker his dosage of fucking super Adderall.
	What the fuck, dude?
	I do not want to see him in public unless they've got him dosed with like whatever fucking, you know, growth hormone, whatever.
	Dude, he is.
	How good do you, whatever he's, they give him must feel awesome.
	You think?
	Whatever it is, dude.
	Some kind of shit we don't even know about.
	But yeah, the other day he answered, there was some question.
	You see that video?
	He answered, Clarissa explains it all was his answer.
	Holy shit.
	That was when I was a child.
	That's awesome, dude.
	That's 20 years ago.
	But yeah, he just smelled a kid this morning, and he's like, How old are you?
	There's a new video, and he's like, Are you 17?
	And her brother goes, She's six.
	Sorry, old habits die hard.
	He's just clicking.
	He's got the kind of dementia where he's like, Now he's acting like he did in his 40s.
	And now when he's riding that Amtrak down to Delaware, cute woman sits next to him on the fucking.
	Oh, you're heading, honey.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You're 17, right?
	Yeah.
	He knows the age of consent of all the states the Amtrak passes.
	So it goes New York, Jersey.
	Each town.
	Oh, yeah.
	Your birthday's in September 10th, eh?
	Stop the train right here, conductor.
	Stop it for 12 minutes.
	Hey, let's slow down in Delaware.
	You know, I'm trying to meet a girl.
	He knows the safe havens.
	The 16-year-old say at the age of, oh, you know, he was up there.
	Hey, hey, right before.
	Hey, let me know before we reach the Potomac.
	You know, I got to telegram a girl.
	Charge the research up by an ass six-year-old girl if she's 17, dude.
	What does this guy want to be, a comedian?
	It's funny, though, to call him creepy.
	It's like, all right, guys, he's clearly losing his mind.
	That's what I don't like.
	Let's get, you know.
	Yeah, I don't have, I don't have the faculties to be a pedophile anymore.
	Right.
	That's the unfair part of it.
	Yeah.
	It's like, cut down in his prime.
	Now that he's finally, now that he's finally got all the power in the world, he's 2C now to be a pedophile.
	It's heartbreaking to those pedophiles, dude.
	It's like the fucking, fuck, what's the old sci-fi?
	Oh, why don't you talk about Twilight Zone?
	Black Mirror Top World's Hotel.
	Yes, Twilight Zone, where the guy has all the time in the world and his glasses break and he can't read anymore.
	He's like, but there was time now.
	That's Biden now.
	He's like, but I'm the president now.
	I could go to Epstein's Island.
	It's over.
	Sorry, Joey.
	It's the riser shut down.
	Yep.
	Just a senile Joe Biden sadly walking through an empty Epstein's Island.
	He's like, what?
	Now that I get in, it's fucking.
	That was the ticket booth right there.
	He's just seeing a plaque with his fucking Bill Clinton smiling.
	Yeah.
	That's why I want a stuffed 14-year-old.
	That's why I want a goldfish.
	That's what we called it.
	It was a Chinese boy.
	If you do the fucking skee ball, they have those disc toss, but it's on a Chinese boy's penis.
	You got to get it all off.
	High difficulty.
	Let's just say high difficulty.
	Wow.
	You're like, man, there's no way to get this on there, huh?
	You're like complaining.
	I saw Bill Gates do it.
	He had a whole fucking.
	I saw Stephen Hawking build a robot that could do it.
	Yeah, they're like, Dice Clay landed a smoke ring on it.
	Trump's claimed it was fixed.
	They could do it.
	Dude, I saw a pothole the other day.
	We went to the University of Tennessee football game and we saw a pothole with just like smoke coming out of it.
	And it reminded me of Trump's hair, dude.
	Yeah, hell yeah.
	It just looked nice.
	That hot smoke coming up.
	Absolutely.
	He's had some funny clips recently, too.
	Yeah, it's interesting.
	He feels like he's getting a little senile, too, which I'm not against.
	Right.
	Because it's going to get funnier.
	Oh, I think it'd really get funny if he gets in.
	I think, I don't know.
	I just, I am so sick that we're stuck in this two-parties.
	We are trapped in the two-party system.
	You're trapped forever.
	It's obvious that we're trapped.
	I think humans are starting to realize, like, there's no more, you can't do it anymore to people.
	At some point, we're going to have to break out.
	You'd hope so.
	I don't know.
	I mean, it's true that it's like these options, none of these options are good where it's like you see like on polling, like the little stuff that I pay attention to.
	It's like when you ask people generic Democrat versus Trump, generic Democrat wins.
	And you ask them generic Republican versus Biden, generic Republican wins.
	It's like they just don't want these guys.
	Nobody wants these guys.
	And it's like Democrats have nobody.
	They have no, like Kamala Harris has no sauce whatsoever.
	They're not even making a plan, though.
	That's what, that's the part I don't understand.
	Like, what could their strategy be?
	They can't have Joe Biden run again.
	I don't think it's, because it's just not going to be, to me, it just gets to the point where it's like, that's the part that to me makes me sad.
	It's like, can we stop doing this to this guy?
	Like, it's just not fair.
	Let him eat some ice cream.
	Right.
	Bring him, come on.
	Bring somebody else in his stead right now that at least is somebody who's viable.
	Right.
	And for all intents and purposes, we should consider him dead.
	Like, he's not.
	He is technically breathing.
	But like, for all intents and purposes, the guy's got to go, you know, like, let him fucking retire.
	Let him hang out.
	He's had a whole nice career of being a fucking, you know, one of the most lucky guys of all time.
	But I don't know, dude.
	But his son died, you know?
	Yeah.
	His son died.
	He was in a union fire or he was doing something.
	He was in the Merchant Marines.
	He was on the top of Kilimanjaro.
	And his son passed away.
	He was into a black school district and died at the hands of Narcan and London.
	I believe that's what it was either that or brain cancer.
	I can't tell.
	I would think it was that, though.
	He might have been.
	I think he drowned at the Audubon Zoo somewhere outside of Cincinnati when Joe Burrow threw him to a pass over the middle.
	He hung him out to dry.
	Al Wilson hit him.
	You hate to see that, man.
	God, I remember it like it was yesterday.
	I remember it like it was tomorrow.
	But everything's kind of becoming a little bit of like a farce.
	Oh, did you see?
	And thanks so much for being here, man.
	This is like the funnest conversation I've had in a long time.
	And congrats, dude.
	Your episode was like one of our most watched ones.
	I mean, it was so fucking fun.
	People love you.
	Thanks, man.
	Yeah.
	No, this is so sick.
	Thanks for letting me fucking promote the special.
	Go watch that motherfucker's fat rascal out, I think, now or next week or whenever this comes out.
	Do you feel a responsibility to stay thick, kind of?
	Yeah, you know what?
	I do.
	Every time, like, a famously fat person loses weight, it does feel like a betrayal.
	I will admit that.
	But I think I could lose 100 pounds and still be generally thick.
	You know what I mean?
	So it's like, I just want to trim it down a little bit.
	I want to get a little, I want to get it, you know, going a little bit.
	But yeah, I can never be a skinny guy.
	Like you see, like Fat Joe, the man's name is Fat Joe.
	He's zemped up right now.
	Oh, yeah.
	He is fucking his humongous head, skinny.
	You can't be skinny, man.
	You can't take the Ozempic that far.
	Adjust your dose.
	Have a little fuck.
	Have some chicharrones and fucking stay, you know, big arms, little titties.
	That's my dream.
	I just want little titties.
	I don't want them to go away.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, I would like little arms, big titties on a gal.
	You know what?
	Not even little arms.
	Big arms, little titties are fucking move, though.
	On a woman?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I've seen some hot big armed little titty ladies.
	Big arm, little titty, baby.
	That's somebody raising on a mountain.
	Yes, yes.
	Yeah.
	Climbing up.
	Somebody got to go uphill, pull themselves up a lot.
	Absolutely thick, very, very like the tips of their fingers.
	Basically, Albanian soup fingers.
	Albanian soup stirrers.
	Thick knuckles, you know what I mean?
	Maybe bales of hay, that style of bitch.
	Although I haven't tangled with too many country girls.
	I'm open to it, but it's just never, you know, I'm not around them, I guess.
	I'd love to hear a southern accent while, you know, busting.
	Would be cool.
	I'm sure you've done your favorite.
	Hey.
	Yeah.
	Oh, my God.
	My God.
	Roll time.
	Somebody said, one of my friends said that he fucked a girl from the South and she said she was fixing to come.
	Oh, yeah.
	That sounds, I would love that.
	Fixing to come.
	Fixing to come.
	I would be like, that's awesome.
	Take your time.
	Because what it would do, yeah, what it would do for me was I would hear fixing to come and I would both get the rush of a woman saying she's about to come.
	But just that phrase would make me in my head smell biscuits and think about biscuits and think about other southern traditions.
	And I think it would be a very powerful climate.
	I'll have a couple of scoops at Tacum.
	If you're fixing it.
	If you're fixing to come.
	Well, I've never had Tacum.
	Put some cheese on it.
	Maybe I'll have a little of it.
	Yeah.
	Not much, you know.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	We ate a little bit of go.
	Have you ever been fat at all in your life?
	I had a couple months where I was fat.
	Something happened.
	I don't remember.
	What ages?
	Oh, I got in a wheelchair.
	Ooh, fuck, for what?
	I got in a wheelchair, dude.
	I got my penis taken out.
	I was running the bases.
	I was doing baseball.
	Oh, shit.
	Right?
	My penis burst or whatever as a child.
	Oh, my God.
	And our coach, right, it was like just some guy.
	He was just so fat, he just hated gay people, right?
	That can happen.
	If your brain gets so fat, it cuts off the empathy part of your brain.
	So anybody different than you, you want to just fucking, you know, you want to kill them.
	Absolutely.
	And he would like try to point to a base and he couldn't even button.
	You guys do a full body point.
	He was like a duck.
	He was like John McCain duck hunting.
	You know, he just fucking make my day.
	John McCain tried to fucking just do it at four degrees or under.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Having to do like glute bridges to raise the gun.
	So that was crazy, dude.
	I think.
	See, the shit popped.
	And the first time I'm shut down between second and third, right?
	Oh, my God.
	And he's screaming at me to go.
	And I'm like, I cannot even die.
	Move.
	I am going to die.
	So I'm like crawling towards third base.
	And our field was kind of downhill.
	It all went into the right field.
	So I'm crawling.
	So I'm crawling the uphill way.
	Oh, yeah.
	A slight angle up.
	Oh, half of our hits went to the right field.
	And because it was a pretty hard gradient out there.
	And so I'm going uphill, dude.
	It was like Ewo Gina.
	Yeah.
	And I got like sepsis or something.
	And they took me to the hospital.
	And so then I was in a wheelchair for a while.
	And I put some of the medications they made, maybe put on a little bit of weight.
	So I had a lot of water retention.
	Sure, a little puffy.
	Yeah.
	And I think I thought I was going to die.
	So I just wanted to eat as much as I could.
	Little pie on the way out.
	Oh, at that age.
	Croissants.
	Cobbler.
	Oh, yeah.
	We didn't have croissants in our area, I don't think.
	No, not even with the French Cajun kind of beignets, nothing.
	Sausage.
	We had a lot of roadside sausage.
	Ooh, what's the strangest sausage?
	You have armadillo sausage?
	No, I've had what's something that I've had that's pretty wild.
	I've had dove, you know, I've seen a couple brothers.
	Dove.
	Damn.
	A couple brothers grill up a dove outside of our apartment complex.
	How do you know it was a dove?
	Huh?
	How do you know it was a dove?
	They said, hey, homie, you want some dove?
	You want some dove?
	And I turned them down most of the time.
	Finally, I had a little.
	Absolutely.
	It's not bad, but you have to talk to them for a while.
	Right.
	But they're nice, but they're good guys.
	They're just too old to be talking to a child.
	Especially if you're eating a damn church meat.
	Of course, of course.
	Do you think they wait in trees above weddings?
	They release them.
	You just see some fat black guy jumping out of a tree.
	We got him.
	Have you seen that dove they throw at that wet at the funeral?
	No.
	Oh, yeah, and it gets got by a hawk or whatever?
	No, the one that just.
	That's a funny one where they do that thing where it's like, we'll release his soul.
	Literally a hawk comes and fucking takes it and just kills the dove.
	And everyone's like, oh, everyone's like, fuck.
	Our grandfather's going to hell.
	Pull that up, man.
	Pull up.
	Brother Dove.
	Release death.
	Pull it if you can, man.
	Brother Dove release.
	I think a roadside brother.
	Peace bird.
	Deceased.
	See what you got.
	Please type that exact phrase in there.
	There you go.
	That's it right there.
	You want to put them on for a second, sir?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	Hey, my brothers.
	I heard David said just the other day, oh, if I have wings like this dog, for then will I fly away and be at rest.
	Ooh!
	laughter
	Damn, boy.
	That's dinner, boy.
	And be at rest.
	That's church dinner.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	I would eat most birds, I would say.
	Panda, you think you'd eat it?
	Good question.
	I mean, they're sedentary animals.
	They're pretty fat.
	Wouldn't be tough meat.
	You think it'd be marbled kind of...
	Marbled.
	I mean, people talk about...
	I feel like I see clips of him talking about eating bear a lot.
	Or he's had guests on that have eaten bear.
	Pandas is a Chinese bear.
	A little Sechuan sauce on that fucker?
	I mean, dude, you put something.
	Look at that bitch right there.
	You wouldn't fucking have a...
	Okay.
	Dude, pan seared?
	I would take that.
	I would take a big bear.
	Can you search Can You Eat Panda?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Because I've seen a picture of a bear steak that's got me thinking I might.
	Bear, it'd be so.
	How does giant panda meat taste?
	Terrible, apparently.
	In 1983, a Chinese villager, and you knew they'll fucking eat anything.
	Ling Zizong.
	Named Ling Zizong.
	Trodfrey illegally killing a giant panda.
	He told the judge that his wife cooked the meat with turnips, but they didn't enjoy it.
	So he fed some to his pigs and gave the remainder to his sister.
	Damn, just a couple of sister catching strays.
	Who was Albanian, probably.
	Damn, yeah.
	I tried to feed it to my pigs, but they were too sophisticated, so I gave it to my fat whore sister.
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	Dude, did you see these two?
	Did you see, this is how just weird the world is getting stopped?
	It's like, did you see the two?
	There was, I think Mullins was the guy's name in the senator.
	What was this?
	This was, I think this was yesterday or two days ago.
	Republican Senator Mark Wayne Mullin challenged Teamsters president Sean O'Brien to fight during a Senate hearing, rising from his seat before the committee chair stepped in to defuse a confrontation.
	This is pretty interesting.
	The senator challenged him to a fight?
	Yeah, it's just crazy that like this is where we're at.
	I know, dude.
	Yeah, let's play it.
	Now, let's talk about Mr. O'Brien himself, his behavior.
	As everybody knows in this here, and the last time him and I kind of had a back and forth.
	I appreciate your demeanor today.
	It's quite different.
	But after you left here, you got pretty excited about the keyboard.
	In fact, you tweeted at me one, two, three, four, five times.
	And let me read what the last one said.
	Quit the tough guy act in these Senate hearings.
	You know where to find me any place, anytime, cowboy.
	Sorry, this is a time.
	This is a place.
	No, it's not, dickhead.
	You're in the fucking Senate.
	Here.
	Okay, that's fine.
	Perfect.
	You want to do it now?
	I'd love to do it right now.
	Stand up, Bunny.
	Oh, hold on.
	Stop it.
	Say your solution every day.
	And look at it.
	Sit down, Sit down.
	Yo, no, you're a United States Senator.
	Get his ass, Bernie.
	Can I respond?
	Hold it.
	Hold it.
	Get his ass, Bernie.
	This is a hearing.
	And God knows the American people have enough contempt for Congress.
	Let's talk about bugs and bullies.
	And that's why.
	I don't like you because you just described yourself.
	Hold.
	You have the mic.
	You have time.
	All right.
	Then let's do this.
	Because I did challenge you and I accepted your challenge and you went quiet.
	No, I didn't go quiet.
	You challenged me to a cage match acting like a 12-year-old school young bully.
	Excuse me.
	Hold it.
	No, excuse me.
	I will say exactly.
	Senator Mullen, I have the mic.
	You have questions on any economic issues, anything you can vote?
	We're not here to talk about physical abuse.
	That's good, man.
	That's fucking crazy.
	Meanwhile, that guy has two Uvalde moms sitting behind him, like so sad about what happened to their kids, and that's what they're doing.
	Dude, that's insane.
	The Senator's talking about being your bitch made.
	No, you're bitch made.
	Yeah, and he's 3-0, Mark Wayne.
	What are you fighting?
	Probably, I would guess.
	Oh, yeah, MMA.
	You think he had the under giant with the one with the one shoulder?
	He's out of Westville, Oklahoma.
	Wow.
	So he was maybe semi-pro.
	Interesting.
	Did he have a nickname, though?
	would be his best.
	Does it have his...
	What if his nickname was the Senator?
	Mark Wayne.
	Big government.
	I like it.
	Big government.
	Mark Wayne, you have two names.
	Oh, he beat Clinton Bonds.
	Oh, Clinton Bonds, he beat him twice.
	He fought Bobby Kelly.
	He fought Bobby Kelly.
	Dude, stop fucking hitting me, dude.
	What the fuck?
	He lured.
	That's awesome.
	But it's just, that's weird, man.
	Where it's getting now is that that's how we're going to raise money for their county or whatever.
	They're going to do a fight versus an OnlyFans model.
	And that's where the funding is going to.
	It's like the government is dead, man.
	It's like it's.
	I know.
	It just feels like the tech is the government now.
	Yeah, everything is so privatized, which is an issue.
	I mean, like, I'm not, I don't think government is good, but I just think you can't trust business.
	Like, here's the thing, it's like, like, I don't, I don't trust the government, but I trust them slightly.
	We have slightly more direct control over the government than we do just rich people that can do whatever the fuck they want.
	And that's what's scary is like tech, like you're saying, by default kind of controls our lives.
	And it's like, you know, it starts out fine, but like we were just talking about, it's like we've made our living, honestly, a big part on with tech companies.
	YouTube's fucking Google.
	They're one of the biggest fucking tech companies in the world.
	Instagram, Meta, whatever you want to say.
	And now everything's fine, but it's like these motherfuckers can decide tomorrow that they can just guy's voice.
	We don't need it.
	It's not part of a bigger, if there's a, so like if those companies get together, what's our goals for the next five years?
	Okay, we got to weed some of these people out.
	You know, it's like, but you're right in that, like, but you're right.
	It's true.
	And it's scary in that, like, yeah, there's no, people didn't ever respect the government.
	Right.
	I mean, or, you know, they did.
	It was a position of power or whatever, but it's like, that's what happens when you don't get money, when it's so clear that these motherfuckers are bought and paid for, that you don't respect them anymore.
	And so then it becomes not who do I trust to like take care of my district, but who's cool?
	And it becomes a fucking weird popularity contest.
	And you get a guy who'll probably be like, I'm not a pussy.
	I challenge some fucking dork to a fight.
	And then some fucking morons will be like, that's my fucking guy.
	Or like, what's her face jacking off that guy at Beetlejuice?
	Like, that was the coolest thing she's ever done.
	Oh, I didn't know.
	It's Lauren Boeber.
	She jacked, she over the pants jacked her date.
	First date.
	I don't agree with her politics, but I do agree with her stance as a date.
	Yeah.
	Her date etiquette is awesome.
	Yeah.
	I was seeing a movie theater.
	And it was a packed movie theater.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I remember seeing that.
	I was like, wow, there's other people right there.
	And it's like, it's the Trump effect of like, yeah, the guy's entertaining.
	The guy's fucking entertaining.
	Well, and at this point, that's what I think some people are saying.
	This government is a, it's, it's, I think we've entered kind of like a privatized communism.
	That's what it feels like, right?
	And I don't know if communism is the right word, but it's like a privatized, like, yeah, our leaders, like tech is the new fossil fuel.
	I used to say that years ago.
	It's like, that's the leaders now.
	It's like whoever, like, yeah, we can be shut down in a heartbeat because somebody doesn't like our voice or somebody doesn't like what we say or our direction or whatever it is.
	And so those are the leaders.
	Those are the masters.
	And you kind of need a government, but it's like now the government's just being used as this shell company to kind of like that everybody's masquerading behind, you know?
	Yeah, I mean, and also to funnel our funds into whatever they want.
	Totally.
	I mean, yeah, it's like, I wouldn't say communism.
	I would say like, it's kind of like a fucking oligarchy, which is like the little, the few control everything.
	Okay, that's true.
	Which is like, they're not redistributing fucking shit.
	Yeah.
	Like, that's the other thing, dude.
	It's like, we don't even want that much.
	Like, at this point, I'm just like, dude, you want to, you want your pedophile?
	Like, Tim Dylan has that point where it's like, just go, you know, go on your pedophile on just do whatever.
	But it's like, could we have some health care?
	Like, can we have, could we have the bear?
	Like, just have a neck break.
	So at least when the pedophile, at least when the pedophile story breaks, I can sit up and look at my television.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But that's the thing is like, it's not like 40 years ago, the rich didn't have better lives than all of us and the government didn't use their, you know, senators didn't, you know, the Kennedys were using state police to ferry 18-year-olds from Boston in and out of there, bring them beer.
	And like the powerful have always, whatever you want to say, like they are going to have more privileges than us.
	And that's something we can work on long term to get rid of.
	But like now it's like they are sucking people dry completely.
	And it's like, all the inner, everyone, every, like, all these centers are like insider trading.
	Inequality is so fucking crazy where it's like normal people cannot pay their fucking bills at all.
	And it's like, and then you have like scapegoat issues.
	The, the playbook is always like, let's turn people against each other, whether that's like, you know, big, like, you know, blacks and whites.
	Blacks, race, race, trans, all this fucking.
	Yeah, it's like, that's, that's always the playbook where it's like, that doesn't fucking really, if everybody had their shit fit, if everybody just had health care, they had a job that paid well, they didn't have to worry about like, you know, if an emergency happens, am I going to fucking be out on the street?
	Oh, yeah.
	If people had blood pressure medicine, they wouldn't say the N-word.
	Absolutely.
	Absolutely, dude.
	But sometimes your blood pressure is so high.
	You get over 180, dude.
	You got to drop at least a soft egg.
	I mean, you got to let some steam off the top.
	They prescribe that.
	You go to certain, you go to a certain first aid.
	The emergency room is a bad thing.
	They give you a bag.
	Nobody can hear it.
	Straight into this.
	And a muffler, a silencer.
	It's a megaphone, but it's like a gun silencer.
	You're like, go ahead, sir, shout it into that.
	And it just comes out so quiet.
	Beep, beep.
	And it actually registers like a, it also.
	A dog hears it.
	Yeah.
	It tells your blood pressure at the same time.
	So if you do hit a certain blood pressure, you're like, well, it's a loud thing.
	comes out in Morse code.
	You say it, it's like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
	I think that was an outside of Philadelphia.
	Oh, man, that is, I got to admit, that's pretty good.
	I don't like N-word vandalism, but it's a pretty good thing.
	Especially if you're blind, you only see black anyway.
	So this to be a fucking pull it up with the run of a finger here.
	It has to make you giggle.
	And I think blind people deserve laugh to laugh.
	That's a good point.
	Blind people deserve to laugh more than anyone.
	That's a very good point.
	And if putting a couple N bumps on Chipotle tables is going to do it, carving a couple N bumps at a TJ Maxx.
	Then that's our health care.
	That's the closest we're getting to healthcare.
	Yeah, I know, dude.
	It's tough not to be like almost like nihilistic where this shit's just not going to get better, where you're like, it just feels like they're going to suck people dry so much.
	And I just don't see any representation of like what a lot of, I mean, it would have to be like a youth movement, I think, but of like young people just having enough of this shit.
	And like, because old people are just going to stay conservative.
	That's how it goes traditionally.
	And I just think like, I don't know, man, you just got to, shit has to get shaken up and we just need just basic shit.
	I mean, you saw, obviously I was a big Bernie guy and there was a big outpouring of like Trump and Bernie, it's not a coincidence that two kind of outside different things really registered with people.
	I wish they'd have ran together.
	I really do.
	Because I think then you have one of them gets provised, one of them gets president, they have to compete.
	They have to work to really work together.
	Instead of just working with some guy you picked, you have to work with the other side of the guy.
	I know what you mean, but there's no way like those guys were so apart on so much shit.
	But I know what you mean.
	But as a person, an American would have been like, oh, this is what I need.
	I think that actually would have resonated with people just because it's like, you know, they were saying some similar, I mean, obviously their solutions were very different.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But like they were saying similar stuff about like, this shit is just not, you know, I don't know that Trump was talking about inequality, obviously, but like they just felt like outsiders in a way.
	Trump was saying more general stuff.
	Bernie's message was, I think, way more like, you know, economically focused and redistributive.
	But like, yeah, everyone just wanted something new at that time.
	And we didn't get it.
	And we've doubled down on like, and then ultimately I think Trump got into office and it was like a pretty run of the mill.
	He didn't really do anything crazy, you know, anything like he didn't really shake shit up too much.
	And then you get Biden, who's the most like, you know, it's been the same shit again over and over.
	Right.
	That's what everybody's realizing.
	I think it's kind of no matter where it goes.
	And that's what thing.
	It's like, I think that's where people are at.
	It's like, is this salvageable or is America just this experiment of freedom that didn't pan out?
	Right.
	Yeah.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Like, are we realizing that this is how capitalism falls?
	Because a lot of it is really greed.
	I think there should be a cap on how much money you can make as a human.
	Dude, I fully agree.
	I think like when you look at how many, what like big projects happened in America, like when we got out of the depression, all this stuff, it's like after a certain amount of money, you got taxed at 90%.
	And it's like, I know that sounds crazy, but it's like when you have, when you're making $100 million a year, do you really need $110?
	You know what I mean?
	Like, is that that $10 million makes such a difference to other people?
	And it's like, nobody's saying you can't be prosperous and you can't make a ton of money and you can't do any of that shit.
	But it's like, just also, let's fucking take care of the people that, you know, because that money comes from somewhere.
	That's what pissed me off.
	It's like Amazon made so much money during the pandemic.
	And it's like, that's people's money, dude.
	That was like people were, yeah, exactly.
	Businesses figure out a way to like not never pay any fucking taxes.
	And you have to be so rich to figure that shit out.
	And it's like, you know, the people that get squeezed the most are in the middle.
	It's classic stuff.
	It's people who work hard as fuck, but don't, you know, you make like, you have a family, your taxes are fucking crazy.
	You're a small business owner.
	Your taxes are fucking crazy.
	But if you make $40 million, somehow you don't pay any taxes.
	You know what I mean?
	It's a lot of ways for people to hide stuff.
	It's definitely tricky.
	You know?
	Yeah.
	And then and then the lie that, oh, that our tax money, that it's not like the foreign aid thing, I think at a certain point, it's like, oh, totally.
	How you can fucking walk out of your house and want to contribute to America anyway.
	Like you can only burn people so much.
	Yeah.
	Before they're like, you know what, man, you win.
	Fine.
	I don't mean anything.
	Right, right.
	No, I agree.
	And it's, you can only do that so much to so many generations.
	And then people see it happen to their parents.
	They see it, you know, and it's like, we never protected Americans' information.
	Like, that's another thing.
	It's like people's information just became backhanded deals and bullshit.
	And everybody's mother's getting fucking scammed or losing.
	it's like, we don't even, your phone number is even protected.
	I get numbers from some dude, some guy, some Argentinian guy all the time telling me to fucking vote for him.
	I don't live in his country.
	I don't live in his country, and I can't understand half of what he's saying.
	But this sounds hot.
	Yeah.
	South of the border.
	It's just basic stuff, man.
	Yeah, no, I agree.
	And the information thing is really interesting, too, because it's like talking about how big tech like kind of controls everything.
	It's like, why don't those motherfuckers pay us for our information?
	They have just taken people, basically, they're using us as free lab rats for all their shit.
	It's like, why doesn't Google just pay everybody $4,000 a month?
	Yeah.
	Why not?
	They're making way more than that off every fucking human being.
	Why the fuck can't they provide, like, pay us for the fucking work we're doing for you?
	And it's like, no one, and it's like, yeah, look, I'm at the point where you're going to steal my information.
	But instead of just like, you know, instead of just like opting in and that's that, it's like, well, fucking pay me for it.
	Right.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, you know, like, pay us.
	If this is our, if this is our world and you're using us to fucking test all your shit and you're using us to do all this shit, pay people for that shit.
	And it's like, you know, I don't know.
	Maybe universal basic income is kind of, that's something that's kind of interesting.
	It's like if AI gets really crazy, it's like, well, let's, let's have people have like a basis, have all their basis covered.
	And then, hey, if they want with that basic income to just hang out all day, be kind of poor, but have their, you know, have all their needs met and just paint and draw and do whatever the fuck you want.
	It's just fucked up that like AI now, now they're like, how is it, how did fucking computers become the thing and machines became the thing that does art and humans are the ones in fucking Amazon warehouses?
	Like, shouldn't, shouldn't the robots be working so we could paint?
	How the fuck are we, why the fuck do you type like Superman with tits and blonde hair into a computer and the computer does it?
	And then it's like, but some guy's putting a 16-hour shift for no fucking money.
	Why aren't the robots the fucking slaves?
	Our humans the fucking slaves.
	Yeah.
	We should have lives of leisure with the AI.
	It should be the coolest thing of all time, but that's not how it happens.
	You get some Albanian robots.
	Don't know.
	Yeah.
	You want them to be Albanian because they're not going to get smart like Skynet.
	They know their place.
	Dude, it's well, do you see that chat GPT?
	It just, they just fired, or the CEO, they did this whole Facebook backhanded thing where some of them voted like the Sam Altman guy got voted out by his partners.
	Oh, okay.
	It was like some Yiddish melee and they all in the middle of the night, they all fucking voted each other out of the shit.
	Yes, man.
	And interesting.
	Yeah, I don't follow that shit too, too, Chat GPT shit too, too closely.
	But yeah, that was like the first one.
	Chat GPT maker OpenAI fires founder Sam Altman, pushed its co-founder and CEO Sam Altman, pushed out its co-founder and CEO of Sam Altman after a review, found he was not consistently candid in his communications with the board of directors.
	What was he lying about, I wonder?
	I don't know.
	They don't get into that.
	It doesn't seem like.
	Yeah.
	Who knows?
	This is Hit Twin who co-founded OpenAI about a year ago with a handful of others.
	And the idea was to create a non-profit.
	Yeah.
	As you know, while ChatGBT became one of the most viral tech products in scroll.
	This is a transcript of a podcast.
	Oh, it is.
	Never mind.
	This is too much.
	But they voted him out.
	A girl came in and now there's...
	Pounders, yeah.
	Yeah, let's see.
	I bet they're hot as shit.
	No.
	He's not that bad.
	He's not as bad looking as he's.
	No, no, no.
	He's a handsome guy.
	Sam Alton's a pretty handsome guy.
	Look at, but there's a group of four of them, if you can see more.
	His eyes, though, I don't trust his eyes.
	They're sad in a way that looks like he wants revenge.
	Yeah, he's not doing well.
	Oh, there they are right there.
	Oh, man.
	My man's mid-hair transfer.
	Oh, zoom in on that.
	What the fuck is going on, man?
	Zoom in on those, dude.
	Skewed over.
	So, Sam Alman is a guy in the back, right?
	They, in the middle of the night, the guy in, they voted him out, I believe, and the guy in the middle.
	The other guy was like, only one bald guy is allowed.
	Only one guy with fucked up hair.
	And then the guy who ended up fucking them all somehow, I think is the guy on the bottom right.
	Damn.
	I mean, if your hairline's like that, you're a fucking, you're a menace.
	You want to take back what the world took from you, which is that weird little fuzz top he's got.
	Oh, yeah, dude.
	Who's the piece of haze?
	I don't know.
	She is pretty, though.
	She's dressed like Elizabeth Holmes, which you wouldn't want to do if you're a tech person, right?
	Remember that?
	Oh, yeah, the blood girl?
	Hey, this blood, yeah.
	Put your blood in this Xerox machine.
	And it'll literally print out what your blood type is.
	Like, literally, people were dripping their blood into a glass Xerox machine, putting the lid down, and it would print out if you needed vitamin D or not.
	That's how fucking stupid people are.
	This dude needs hat GPT, dude.
	I'm going to go ahead and say that.
	What's that dude's name?
	Fuck all these creeps.
	Amen, brother.
	Because at a certain point, people are just ruining society.
	At a certain point, why isn't there a politician that's like, hey, this shit that we're doing is ruining our America?
	Why don't we get to vote?
	Like, hey, this shit's ruining society.
	We don't even feel like a person anymore.
	You feel like a victim to your phone.
	You don't feel like there's no use to you anymore.
	Like you're literally killing the spirits of people over time, right?
	I totally agree.
	And it's like.
	And not to sound like a downer.
	I love life.
	I'm grateful to be alive.
	Absolutely.
	But I just feel like there's more to our lives and it can be a richer experience if we don't let it get sucked away by just by technology.
	I don't know how you do it, but I bet people would vote to say, yeah, I kind of agree with you.
	I think they would in the abstract, but in, because I'm with you fully, right?
	I have this discussion With my friends all the time because I have friends who make good points.
	They're like, they're like, I mean, they're like, look, this is just how society is.
	Constantly, technology is fucking, at least in our lifetime, right?
	Like, since the Industrial Revolution, it's like every fucking 30 years, shit gets crazy, right?
	Like, and I don't think it's natural, obviously, but it's like a lot of the shit we do is not natural, right?
	We're fucking podcasting right now.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, they didn't have this.
	Man was not meant to podcast.
	You know what I mean?
	But, and so on, on one hand, I'm like, well, look, technology is always going to expand.
	People are always going to like relate in different ways.
	But I do think that we are getting to a point where it's like, this is getting so unnatural where it's like, I think we, and the only solution, though, is to take a really, to take a really active step and say, I'm off my phone this amount of time or regulate your phone use or like, because people agree with, with us, I think, but then they're like, they're not going to stop looking at it.
	Right.
	How can we do it?
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, you all, it's almost like we are, it's like waking up and realizing, fuck, I got to go to rehab, but it's like the entire world is fucking needs to go to rehab.
	Exactly.
	It's like, it's like runs on these systems and it doesn't, it doesn't feel like it's going to go away at any point.
	And I think the only, it's almost like a privileged thing.
	Like, look, me and you could fucking go take a, take a two months in a cabin and not be on our phones.
	We'd be okay.
	Yeah.
	We can fucking hire, you know, like I literally hire somebody to post on Instagram for me because I don't want to be on it.
	Right.
	Oh, yeah.
	Because like I would fucking go crazy if I was.
	But like a lot of people don't just like we've batched people into a corner where it's like so much of life happens online that it's like, what the fuck are they really going to do?
	You know what I mean?
	I wish it would be, you know, one of my favorite times as a child, like our family wasn't real close.
	And one of my favorite times was like sometimes the power would go out.
	Yeah, dude, get the candles out.
	Monopoly get the candles out.
	And we'd all have to get together in the same room.
	Yeah.
	And we hated each other.
	But for that four to 40 hours, because we're in the poor area, you get power last.
	Absolutely.
	I mean, we would go to school.
	We still hadn't had power.
	Other people had power.
	There were rich kids like showing up with like just pictures of power that they'd throwing at their house.
	Yeah, they have a little electricity.
	Oh, extra bitch.
	Ecstatic shock in you?
	Yeah.
	Like, we got extra, bitch.
	A lunchbox.
	It's just a couple watts in it.
	They're eating.
	Yeah, they're eating light.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You see it going down their throat.
	Their fucking stomach glows.
	I bet you wish this was powering your grandma's pacemaker, huh, pussy?
	But that was like the kind of the nicest time in a way because you needed each other.
	It was like, I needed, if I wanted to walk to the other part of the house, I needed my brother to go with me.
	I needed, there was just so much connection.
	And I wonder if like you could just say, hey, on Sunday, I think it's off.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Shut it down.
	I mean, but that's the thing that's never going to be worldwide.
	It's something people have to do for themselves.
	It's something people have to just take an active role in their personal lives.
	And it's swimming upstream from society, which is like, use your phone, do all this shit, pay with a fucking QR code, all this shit.
	It's crazy.
	And I'm with, like, I, when I'm done the tour and I'm done, I'm doing a bunch of podcasts.
	I'm trying to promote the special, but I'm taking a couple months off and just not doing stand-up at all, just not doing shit, just like truly chilling.
	I'm getting a fucking flip phone, dude.
	I'm going flip mode.
	And I'm just, I did that a couple years ago for two weeks.
	And it was like, I just cleared my head in a crazy way where it was like no phones before.
	I had, I would literally check my phone for like one hour and I would just like, and I would not check it for like a couple hours until I woke up.
	I would read a book.
	That's what I'd be like, my, because your brain's like, let me check my fucking, let me check my shit.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, you're just wired that way.
	Your brain's a totally.
	Absolutely.
	It's the, it really is trying to betray you.
	Your brain is trying to fucking get you, dude.
	It's like, who's, who's paying attention to me?
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Well, that's a scary part too about the ego, you know?
	Like, having an ego is so scary because that thing's growing while you're not even noticing.
	Yeah.
	That thing is planning.
	It's plotting against you in a weird way.
	It helps you in the beginning, but then it kind of plots against you.
	Oh, and that's a whole other fucking like, you know, can of worms, right?
	Like, that's a whole other thing you have to take care of, but it's hard.
	And it's a different problem.
	But yeah, dude, reading a fucking book and like not and going for a walk and like just truly, but dude, the amount of effort that took.
	I planned it.
	I told people.
	I was like, I will not be available constantly.
	Text this fucking number you don't know because it's my fucking burner.
	That's the only way to get a hold of me.
	Only contact me if something is fucking serious.
	And it's like, you have to almost like plan for it.
	You can't just slip into fucking being a regular human being, you know?
	Yeah, it takes some, it takes an effort.
	It's true.
	And you have to want it.
	And part of you can easily be like, you know what?
	I don't want it.
	I just want to stay here and be a, be, be stuck in this hamster wheel.
	Joey Pantiliano in the Matrix.
	You want to eat the fucking steak, dude.
	You know what I mean?
	Nobody did?
	Was it Italian?
	He's the guy who betrays them.
	Oh, there's Italians?
	It's in the AI?
	You should have known.
	It's in the code.
	You know, not as a boy.
	There's a lot of Italians in the code.
	Now you're definitely out.
	I just, I don't know.
	I think people are, I don't know.
	I don't, I just, I'm going to need to get a little bit more land to separate myself.
	A moat.
	You're going to get a moat.
	I got close neighbors, dude.
	You're going to get a moat with like black teens playing innocently.
	That would keep Italians away.
	Black teens playing innocently.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Just riding their bikes.
	You know, not up to anything illegal, but Italians would see that and be like, I got to get away from here.
	Hey, this neighborhood's not what it used to.
	It's just like black kids drawing with chalk, having a nice Sunday.
	They're like, Jesus fucking Christ, what happened?
	We used to beat each other over gambling debts at this playground.
	Now these fucking kids are playing checkers.
	Yeah, now we got a couple black Taylor Swift fans out here.
	That's when you know the world's getting crazy.
	It's black Taylor Swift fans, dude.
	I know.
	I know.
	They just had a blackface occurrence.
	Where was it?
	Can you bring that up, brother?
	Wow.
	Somebody else tried it.
	They tried it past Halloween.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	A November blackface is a very interesting movie.
	Yeah, this is kind of the offseason out here.
	Absolutely, dude.
	Come on.
	A middle schooler who went to a football game at my former high school has been suspended for wearing blackface.
	I was in attendance at this game, which took place on October 13th.
	A student attends Muerlands, which is right next to the high school.
	Can we see a video or picture?
	Let me see.
	Oh.
	Oh, there he is right there.
	I mean, is that blackface, though, or is that just...
	Yeah.
	Yeah, the dude I think is just a shitty.
	He's just a shitty painter.
	That's crazy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Either he's a bad, yeah, he or a bad racist also.
	Yeah.
	He could just be, yeah, he's definitely a shitty painter, but it's like, did he mean to do blackface or did he mean to do i black?
	We don't know.
	He's that bad at painting.
	God is.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I mean, that's crazy, dude.
	I think, yeah, and he didn't even do his forehead.
	I think you could call him mixed.
	You know, you could say the guy.
	It's not percentages.
	You could say the guy did the guys out here Ben Simmonsing.
	He's naturally pretty Ben Simmons, though.
	Yeah.
	He kind of looks like a young Ben Simmons.
	Yeah, definitely.
	Look, so that I think is fair.
	You can't say this dude is fully blackface.
	I think at this point in society, you should be able to do half blackface.
	Oh, you think you should do a nice mocha?
	Well, people are mixed.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, what if you're a Honey Badger fan?
	Well, I still, I don't think you should do.
	I don't think you need to paint your skin, his skin color to show that you're a fan of maybe just his jersey would be fine.
	Yeah, you could do just a jersey, but I think if you really want to freaking get in there.
	Okay, but somebody's motto for all sports.
	Yeah, it's in the game.
	It's in the game.
	Okay, okay.
	This is interesting.
	If you want to do blackface, you have to prove that you are a hardcore fan of the black person that you're doing the blackface of.
	Okay.
	You know?
	That's fair.
	You know, you can't be doing, it has to be a true, has to be a true homage.
	Yeah.
	You have to pass like a driving test, but it's like, what college did Terra Matho go to?
	How many interceptions did he have in 2012?
	You know what I mean?
	And if you ace that, then you get to go to fucking Sephora, matches, get a foundation that matches his fucking skin completely.
	They should have that Sephora m ⁇ section.
	Sephora.
	For the modern racist.
	Look, they're not all coal black.
	Yeah, let's be realistic.
	Let's be realistic.
	They're half white.
	Just because we're racist doesn't mean we can't have some artistic integrity.
	It's funny, too, because I think some guys would care.
	No one's lips are that red.
	Get the real lip color.
	I think some people wouldn't care.
	I think we're probably one generation away from probably people being able to dress like their favorite if there's an athlete that's black.
	I think we're also probably two generations away from everybody being mixed, you know?
	Yeah, I think so.
	I think we're getting there.
	I personally don't want, I would love to have, like everyone in my family's white.
	Yeah, get you something, huh?
	Let's mix it up a little bit.
	You know, I don't want...
	I fall in love with a white woman.
	What are you going to do?
	But why not get a little something going?
	Also, adoption.
	I feel like more people should adopt if only because why do you want your genes out there?
	I'm a fucking idiot.
	My family's dumb as shit.
	We should end this.
	Like, let's, an adopted kid is like taking a fucking lottery ticket, dude.
	It's a scratch off.
	Yeah.
	Some of them will kill you in your sleep if they're from Russia.
	Yeah, well, that's what.
	Scratch off.
	Sometimes you get fucked, but sometimes it's like, uh-oh, Asian girl that didn't want this to affect her going to grad school.
	You know what I mean?
	But then you scratch it off.
	It's like, oh, methed, you tried to sell the baby.
	Like, damn.
	This is tough.
	I knew I shouldn't have bought that from that gas station.
	The pump said out of service.
	I should have known.
	I had a friend who did have a Russian or maybe he was like Lithuanian adopted brother.
	Didn't kill anybody, but had a hammer on him.
	Wow, really?
	And it really affected my friend because he was like, this is my brother.
	But man, because he doesn't have, he's not saddled with our little dick jeans.
	He has those big fucking, you know, nice fat Lithuanian cock jeans.
	For a dick to make it all the way across the ocean.
	He rode on it.
	It was buoyant enough this morning.
	That thing's got to be, yeah.
	That's like the life of hot.
	You got to be able to travel.
	Yeah, it's the tiger.
	It's attacking people in the boat.
	What other news did we get, man?
	What else happened?
	Bin Adam's LD US stuns young Americans.
	Oh, yeah, this was on TikTok.
	Oh, wait, first on TikTok, can you see the blackface charcoal guy?
	Can we look that up?
	Just YouTube?
	Just cool.
	More black face.
	There must have been some blackface in your guy.
	Does blackface.
	Head in bag.
	Give me that.
	Blackface charcoal guy, head in bag.
	Cool guy.
	As long as you don't talk in a different voice, I think you're good with the charcoal mask.
	Yeah, you can't start a voice.
	There it is right there.
	Guy puts a bag with the barbecue charcoal on his head.
	Let's see if this is blackface or not.
	Interesting.
	This is in Russia.
	This is Russia.
	Oh, yeah, yes.
	This guy's a guarantee.
	Oh, damn.
	That's an even coat.
	God damn.
	Wow.
	Why did he do that?
	Huh?
	Because it doesn't feel like he's being racist.
	It feels like he's being weird in Russian.
	Yes.
	See, that's interesting.
	That is interesting.
	If he'd have put on a James Harden jersey and kept switching teams, something tells me he wouldn't pass our test.
	He wouldn't know which years Harden won MVP.
	Shout out to Hardin, by the way.
	Really?
	I love it, dude.
	Did you see that thing that the guy did the other day?
	Yeah, he went off on it.
	But here's what I'll say.
	That guy, that is the most I have ever connected to an athlete because it's like, yeah, fucking hard, dude.
	Go get fat as shit and still get what you want.
	That's awesome.
	He's not going To win a championship, Jordan, I cannot relate to Michael Jordan at all.
	Being obsessed with your fucking job like a fucking nerd, wanting to be the best in the world, not having a relationship with your kids.
	Harden is living life, dude.
	And if you're thinking about the kind of guy you want, and he gets, he's always won everything.
	He's gotten to play with all his friends.
	Like when he moved to the Nets and it was like, I just want to hang out with KD again.
	That's the most like, yeah, dude.
	You're past your prime.
	You won your MVPs.
	They did video games a lot, I heard.
	Yeah, dude.
	They got drafted.
	They were in OKC together and they was like, fuck it, we're going back there.
	And they played with Russ again.
	And it was like, I relate to being in your 30s and just wanting to hang out with your boys when you were 20. Yeah.
	That's a great point, man.
	That's a great point, Stop.
	Because we judge these athletes on like, they have to be these fucking serial killers that care about anything but championships.
	Like, no, Hardin has made $300 million, $400 million.
	Look, would he win it?
	Is he going to win a championship?
	Probably not.
	He's got two MVPs, I think two MVPs.
	And yes, he falls apart in the playoffs.
	But okay, he's still better than 99% of human beings that have ever played basketball.
	And he made $400 million.
	He never had to work that hard.
	He quit.
	Yeah.
	Oh, he didn't show up in the playoffs.
	Yeah, dude.
	You know what happens when it's Thanksgiving week?
	I don't fucking answer emails.
	I'm like James Harden.
	I don't go.
	My boss calls me at 11 p.m.
	It's going on mute.
	I'm not answering.
	Oh, the office is on fire.
	I don't give a fuck.
	I'm off the clock, brother.
	Yeah.
	This is overtime.
	I'm here, but I'm not going to work hard.
	He's getting fat.
	He's spending all his money getting pussy.
	I love it, dude.
	Bro, that is excellent, man.
	You're right, dude.
	James Harding, you're doing it.
	He's the man.
	He's American.
	That's the most American shit of all time.
	Like, all right, if I try really, really hard, I still might not win a championship.
	So why not not try that hard at all and have a sick life?
	Yes.
	That's why I fuck with Shaq, too.
	Shaq, fuck it, dude.
	Shaq could have won way more championships, but he got, you see him when he's with LSU?
	He's like a skinny guy.
	Oh, yeah.
	And then he's just like, I'm just going to keep getting fat as fuck.
	Yeah, might as well.
	I'm going to do Shazam in the offseason.
	I'm going to do, I'm going to rap.
	I'm going to get fat.
	I'm going to fucking buy Burger Kings and shit like that.
	And even today, to this day, Shaq's on TV, dude, talking about basketball.
	Clearly does not watch the games.
	He's just like, there's no fucking idea what's going on.
	Yo, Icy Haw.
	He's just constantly doing commercials, dude.
	Yeah, he'll sell something dangerous and then the insurance.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He's like, get the new Shaq archery kit.
	Right, right.
	You got a neighbor that's out of line.
	He'll just grab a ball off a rail.
	Not anymore.
	Nothing new.
	Shaq arrows.
	Yeah.
	Shaq's arrows.
	Yeah.
	And then the next commerce like, oh, is somebody shooting at your house?
	Get the insurance.
	It's perfect.
	Yeah.
	You need the guardian or whatever it is, that little fucking insurance guy.
	Oh, yes, the general.
	Yeah, put icy hot on your grandmother and get the general.
	But yeah, no, it's, I respect athletes that are just like, this is my job.
	It rules.
	I'm going to have the best time in the fucking world.
	And I'm not going to be Jordan.
	Dude, look at the fucking last dance.
	Jordan is sad.
	His eyes are fucking yellow, yellower than that 24 right there.
	You know what I mean?
	Like he's drunk as fuck.
	Like he put everything in those years.
	And yeah, he was the man, right?
	And of course, Michael Jordan is the fucking man.
	I respect him.
	But it's like, you'd rather be a guy who's a choke artist in the playoffs, but made millions of fucking dollars.
	And by the way, Hardin had some good games against the Celtics last when he was on the Sixers.
	He had a couple bangers.
	But still, you'd rather just, I would rather just be a guy who's awesome as shit and never wins, but has no stress versus a guy who's like lives and dies.
	You hear Larry Bird talk about championships?
	He's like, it just doesn't feel disappointing when you win.
	And when you lose, you want to kill yourself.
	It's like that crazy.
	And it's like, that's a fucking serial killer.
	And yeah, he's awesome, but I don't want that shit, dude.
	I want to have a good ass time.
	It's a great, it's a great, it's a great point, man.
	I think it's just an overall good point about how like we get caught up in having to be the champion and how unrealistic it is that everybody's going to be the champion.
	Totally.
	And to recognize, do I really want to do all it's going to do to possibly be the champion?
	And then what are you realistically left with?
	Like, yes, there's some recognition to it, but is that worth the things you might sacrifice along the way?
	You know?
	Yeah, totally.
	And yeah, and just because something's your job doesn't mean you have to be the champion as long as you show up, do a good job and have fun.
	Have fun, entertain people.
	You know what I mean?
	Awesome.
	That's great, man.
	I really appreciate you thinking about that.
	Of course, dude.
	Yeah, it's just, it's true.
	It's like, cause you get on this invisible, it's almost like instead of walking, when you get to the airport sometimes in Minneapolis, which, by the way, they've done a great job.
	Great airport.
	Great airport.
	You get there and you can go on that track or you can just walk.
	I'm talking about with the moving floor.
	Yes, of course.
	And you just get on that moving floor and you're not even really thinking about your steps.
	No.
	You're just, you know.
	But it does feel cool, I will say.
	It is cool.
	Sorry to muddy up the analogy.
	No, it's nice.
	But I feel fast as shit when I, like, you go on those and I even pick up the pace and I'm like, I'm fucking Superman.
	I'm bionic.
	Oh, you'll go fast?
	You'll walk on them?
	Oh, wow.
	You feel so fast.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you feel like you're in a threesome.
	No, that for me, historically, that's nervous, blowing it, you know, having the worst time of my life.
	I've had a nice one, but most of them have been.
	Yeah.
	Which city do you have a nice one in?
	Chicago.
	Okay.
	And one in New York.
	But, yeah, had some bad ones a couple other places.
	Oh, you've been in a multitude of them.
	I've been in a couple, yeah.
	I ended my special with a, did we talk about this last time?
	It feels like we did.
	I remember.
	Because I feel like you were in one.
	I was in a unique one outside of Missouri.
	Yes, we talked about it.
	We talked about it.
	Grateful that everybody made it out okay, to be honest, you know.
	It's just, yeah, but if you're crushing it, if you're crushing it in a threesome, that's probably what that feels like.
	Well, my thing was, I didn't know one of the girls, so I like was trying to small talk while I was looking up with this other girl.
	So it's like, hey, where are you from?
	You know, you have family and you're just making it.
	It just, the whole thing was just ridiculous.
	What other news we got?
	Let's bring a little bit more up.
	I think you just got to turn that brain off, brother.
	When the dick is hard, the brain is off.
	That's, I think, how it needs to be.
	Oh, that has been my number one problem.
	I remember when I used to be able to smoke weed sometimes, my erection, because my brain would shut off.
	Yes.
	And my erection, dude, it would be like, oh, my God, it would be like somebody that had gotten to the top of a hill for the first time in its life.
	Oh, my God.
	This view is unbelievable.
	Stayed up there doing selfies.
	Yeah, dude, I'm with you too.
	That is always my problem because when I actually like a girl, the first time I fuck her, I have been hard 0% of the time because I'm worried I'm going to blow it.
	But then if I don't get, if it's like, you know, just we both know the score, we're just here to bust, no problems dick wise.
	And then again, if I break through and I've been dating somebody for a while and I trust, you know, all that, all the like anxiety of like, does this person like me, all this shit, when that truly goes away, not just intellectually, but I feel it's going away, my dick actually truly gets hard.
	Really?
	And then we broke up.
	And literally, this happened to me where I dated somebody and we finally, I felt like we finally got all this shit figured out.
	And my dick was getting harder than ever to the point where she was like, what's up with your dick?
	Like, she was literally like, something's different.
	Your dick is like, actually, she was like, she was like mildly uncomfortable for the first time ever having sex with me.
	She was like, your dick has gotten not small anymore.
	Like, that was essentially not big.
	Not big, but not small, you know?
	Yeah.
	And then literally we broke up.
	It felt good.
	It felt good.
	Pause feeling positive.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Man, yeah, that's it.
	I never try and work through that uncomfortable phase to see if there's a real phase on the other side.
	It's so hard for me, man.
	It's scary.
	For me, too, that's the only girl I've ever done it with.
	And I will tell you this, it took a while to get over that.
	But once it happened, it felt awesome.
	And like, I've been too busy the last couple of years.
	Like, I don't feel like a, I don't know if you feel this way, but it's like on the road constantly and shooting a special and working on other projects.
	I don't even feel like a person.
	Like I barely see my friends.
	I barely see my family.
	You can't have a dating life because you're just not in a fucking city for longer than whatever.
	And so I'm really looking forward to like focusing on that shit in the next year.
	I'm taking most of the next year off.
	Wow, really?
	Yeah, I can't.
	Good for you, man.
	I can't be a, yeah, I can't.
	Like from stay from the road anyway.
	Like, I'll do local shit.
	I'll work on my act.
	And I'm going to say goodbye.
	You know, you lose a lot of money doing that, but it's like, what do you have the money for?
	Yeah.
	But yeah, dude, I would say give it a whirl.
	It's worth it.
	Because I felt it was.
	And, you know, it ended up we weren't right for each other for other reasons.
	But, you know, when you get your, when your dick gets hard from love, that's special.
	Oh, wow.
	You know, that's a special thing.
	Yeah, I want that.
	I think you can have it.
	You're a wonderful guy.
	A girl would be lucky to have your truly hard dick anxiety-free.
	I can't even imagine that, really.
	I know.
	It is hard to imagine.
	When it happened to me, I was like, what's going on here?
	No way.
	Yeah, I can't imagine having natural rehardation.
	I'm reharded.
	I'm a rehard.
	Yeah, dude.
	The way you know you're in love when you fuck like a rehard.
	Yeah, I do not.
	I am like a sniper.
	I literally have to get my wiener hard, run in there.
	I'm like, go, go, go.
	I'm like, get the signal.
	I'm like a Navy SEAL, dude.
	Shout out my friend Lan Tecker, but I had to get out.
	I would have to get erect, run in there, do the damage, and then slip it out.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I mean, before the gates even close, I'd have to make it back out.
	I get that, man.
	Oh, man.
	What's else?
	What else?
	What other news we got?
	Botox running on George.
	Oh, yeah, this dude.
	This is just exactly where we are again as a society.
	George Santos, they said he spent $400,000 on OnlyFans of his campaign.
	I gotta say, respect.
	Because this guy's a fucking idiot.
	And he's like, that's the thing.
	This guy's a crook, right?
	Yeah.
	And he realistically was like, well, a sick way to be a crook is to be a representative.
	And he's just fucking killing it, dude.
	Yeah, this happened more and more.
	He spent a honeymoon in Vegas.
	He did a Hampton holidays.
	Being a chubby guy with Botox is all.
	The Hampton Inn, huh?
	That's not very expensive.
	Oh, no, no.
	The Hampton's in fucking Long Island.
	Oh, fuck that, dude.
	I like Hampton's.
	Hilly Jane crushed Hampton.
	They redid him about 12 years ago.
	The Hampton Inn's.
	They're great.
	You're a Hampton Inn guy?
	I love them.
	Elevators are all the same.
	They have like a little nice positive thing on it.
	Like a black kid on a rope swing.
	Or like a white kid getting eliminated in his grandma.
	Yes, yes.
	I was always a Holiday Inn Express man when it came to the lower levels.
	I haven't been to it.
	I'm not a Hampton Inn guy.
	My top spender, she put up.
	Well, here's his problem.
	He also put George Santos as his screen name.
	Wait, what the fuck?
	That's a girl.
	Right.
	That was her, but her top spender, she's saying she's an OnlyFans model.
	But he's gay.
	Santos is gay.
	Is he?
	Yeah.
	Well, he spent $435,000 attempting to not be gay.
	What the fuck?
	Go to this girl's.
	Is she trans or something?
	Or does she peg guys?
	Yeah, let's see if she's trans though.
	Or maybe she fucks guys?
	No.
	Wow.
	I mean, if she's trans, I'm sucking that thing.
	No problem.
	If she's trans, dude, Red Rover, Red Rover, I'll be right over.
	Uh-oh.
	I might have to.
	I'll be right over.
	Wow.
	What's her name?
	I mean, she seems like she is.
	She might be trans, which, again, no problems here.
	Silga sex, huh?
	What do we scroll down just a little bit?
	George Santa was looking at her.
	I thought that guy was gay as hell.
	Yeah, he might not be gay anymore.
	I think for $435,000, you can make it out of anything.
	You know?
	Yeah, that's true.
	Where I'm from, anyway.
	That's a nice chunk.
	That's a nice chunk.
	You can stuff the condoms full of money just to keep your dick hard that way in a woman.
	Worst case scenario.
	Doesn't Santos also have like a hot also scammer sister?
	I think I saw somebody tweet about that.
	Well, a lot of people are just making it to politics now, but it's like they're, well, it's funny because you don't want lifelong politicians, it feels like, because the system is so dirty.
	Right.
	But then it's also like you get these like just fly-by-night kind of people like Fetterman, who I'm not saying is bad or good, but he's just, you know, sometimes he shows up like he's, you know, like it's off day or whatever.
	Yeah, he's got his fucking sweatshorts on.
	Me and him dress way too similar.
	Oh, that's a good point.
	Although he's not this dripped out, but you know, on my travel days.
	No, if you're dripping, he's a leak.
	Yeah.
	It's like he wears like champion athletics.
	Yes, yes.
	You know, which a lot, I respect it.
	It's comfortable.
	There we go.
	He paid her rent.
	That's his sister.
	Oh, George Hendo's sister, Tiffany.
	Hasn't paid rent since 2000, 2020.
	Respect, another scammer in the family.
	Yeah, so it's just, that's a lot of what's going on.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	What else?
	What was that other story you had up?
	Oh, this was interesting.
	Bin Laden's letter to U.S. stuns young Americans.
	He was right.
	A decades-old document allegedly written by Osama bin Laden entitled Letter to America recently went viral on TikTok with some young Americans believing that the al-Qaeda founder made valid points about their own country.
	I mean, I don't know this letter, but American imperialism definitely led to fucking terrorism.
	There's no way around.
	I mean, that's the thing.
	No, innocent people shouldn't have died.
	No, terrorism's fucked up in any way.
	But it's like, you can't say that America didn't act fucked up.
	It doesn't to this day act fucked up in foreign countries.
	And we've been destabilizing the Middle East forever.
	You know what I mean?
	Go back to that article, if you don't mind, please, brother.
	I just want to see a little bit more.
	Keep going down.
	It's wild and everyone should read it, said one TikTok user, warning that the letter had left her very disillusioned and confused.
	Bin Laden, the son of a wealthy Saudi businessman, founded al-Qaeda or the base in 1988 following the Soviet defeat and withdrawal from Afghanistan, a conflict in which he fought.
	I didn't know he was a fighter in that.
	We fucking supplied them because they were fighting the Soviets.
	Oh, we supplied them.
	Yeah.
	We supplied the proxy war.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Under his leadership, the group launched several deadly attacks and bombings in various nations, including the attacks on September 11th, 2001.
	The base is an interesting name for a terrorist group.
	Yeah.
	It's the bass.
	You think they were fucking...
	And they do that cool yodeling shit.
	The creation and continuation of Israel is one of the greatest crimes, and you are the leaders of its criminals, Bin Laden wrote.
	Each and every person whose hands have become polluted and the contribution towards the crime must pay its price and pay for heavily.
	Oh, here it says, the Saudi-born militant then wrote the Palestinians had to be revenged along with the people of Afghanistan.
	So what he's saying is, oh, and here it is.
	The American people are the ones who pay the taxes which fund the planes that bomb us in Afghanistan, the tanks that strike and destroy our homes in Palestine, the armies which occupy our lands in the Arabian Gulf, and the fleets which ensure the blockade of Iraq.
	This is why the American people cannot be innocent of all the crimes committed by the Americans and Jews against us.
	All right.
	We had to hit us with a J, didn't you, Osama?
	But so what is he saying here?
	He's saying that we have a, we, we can't, you can't just look at America's actions as no repercussions of them.
	I think so.
	I mean, look, obviously, I'm not, Osama bin Laden's off here, right?
	Like, obviously, I'm not aligned with Osama, where he's basically like.
	No, neither one of us are.
	He's basically like, yeah, yeah, I know.
	I don't mean to be like, I don't mean to be like you.
	No, no, but I think he's basically, I think he's saying that, like, by just living in America, no one's innocent and you're able to fucking, that's why, I think that's how they're talking about terrorism and stuff like that.
	But I do think what he's saying, obviously he's wrong about that shit, right?
	You shouldn't kill fucking innocent people at all.
	But I think he's saying that American imperialism is like people are going to be fucking pissed off about that.
	And yes, America has supplied Israel with tons of billions of dollars.
	And they need Israel.
	America needs Israel because it's a strategic base in the Middle East.
	It's the only ally that they have there.
	And we've all kind of turned a blind eye to the situation in Gaza where it's likely government.
	They're under the rule of Israel.
	And each year it gets like a little, they take more and more of their like, you know, the land or whatever.
	And I guess the whole point is like, yeah, America has been acting in a lot of fucked up ways that fucking a lot of people are pissed off about.
	And I think a lot of people don't know about either, probably.
	Totally, absolutely.
	Absolutely.
	Like you don't think sometimes that like if you go and do something in a country, if your forces, it's like you want to cheer your forces on because they're your team, right?
	They're the people that are keeping your country free.
	But if you kill people in Iraq because you're hunting al-Qaeda and you kill a ton of civilians, the children of those civilians and the brothers and fathers of those civilians are going to want to repercuss.
	Absolutely.
	They want revenge.
	I mean, it's a true empathy thing of like, think about if this is how you lived.
	If like, if you were under, if you're in Iraq, if you're in Afghanistan post-war, if you're in, you know, Gaza under occupation, if you, you know, you see, you see your loved ones get fucking killed by a different, a foreign country, a foreign country's army, and you're not, it's like the Cat Williams joke where it's like, what does the Iraq army uniform look like?
	You know, like, I don't, I'll wait.
	Like, we've never seen it.
	He's like, we're just killing motherfuckers.
	We're calling them insurgents.
	Dude, Cat has the best.
	That's the best Iraq war joke that on the Pimp Chronicles.
	It's the best Michael Jackson joke and it's the best Iraq war joke, I think.
	But anyway, that's the thing.
	It's like, yeah, people are going to be fucking pissed off about that.
	Yeah, that's the same thing that I think that it's like, you know, people, you see like the, you always hear like the free Palestine movement, you know.
	And for me, it's like if a place, when you hear the free thing, like free, that place usually needs help, right?
	Yeah.
	That's the place that needs, it's like, yeah, you don't hear free America.
	You don't hear free Israel.
	You don't hear free China.
	Yeah.
	You don't hear free South Carolina.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You don't hear free Nevada.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You hear free Palestine.
	They, it just, man, it just, that shit's heartbreaking over there.
	Without question, yeah.
	And our news doesn't even cover it fairly either.
	No, it's absolutely not at all.
	I mean, no one is for terrorism.
	And it's like when you point out that the people in Gaza have been under, you know, military occupation with like not, you know, not access to water, like they have like a ton of, a ton of crazy shit.
	And not even, we're not even getting into, you know, what's happened now, which is like they're killing so many civilians, it's fucking out of control.
	It's insane.
	And it's like to like the responses, I mean, it's like a, it's like a moral crime, what's happening.
	And, but we've ignored the context of that situation, which is like, yeah, dude, these, like, think about exactly what you said.
	It's like, think about what would happen if Americans were put under that, you know, that's the whole point, right?
	Of like, I mean, especially if you're like a second, like the guys who always talk about, I have a gun in case the government were to fucking, like, that's happening to those people.
	Right.
	They have no right.
	Like, they're, they're, they're like, it's crazy the situation over there.
	And right now it's like hospitals are getting bombed.
	It's like.
	Yeah, and if you're, if your army is like such a talented army as Israel has, right?
	Why don't they send guys people in, especially if you already control the area?
	You're telling me you can't like, I would rather have our Navy SEALs go in.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	And do the job in an effective manner, efficiently.
	I know.
	There's no way.
	That's the thing.
	Against, you know, against the terrorist people.
	Right, right, right.
	The people who did it.
	It just seems like the, not only cruel, but the dumbest fucking thing.
	Well, it's like, especially for people that have lived through Iraq.
	Like, we lived through that shit.
	Like, we, this country did, there was obviously protests, but we basically were like, all right, we're taking you.
	Okay, I guess.
	And then it's like, it was complete bullshit.
	They were no, they had no fucking weapons.
	They had no nukes.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Saddam's fucking sons were too busy buying like golden fucking whips to hit their fucking slaves with.
	They were buying tigers and shit to eat curds.
	They were like, yes, they were horrible people, but they didn't have fucking nukes.
	This is his son right here.
	He's a goth son.
	He's actually going to be an it looks like an older woman, which is kind of hot.
	Wow.
	It looks just like his father.
	Yeah, dude.
	That is funny to be goth Osama.
	Yeah, dude.
	It's like, what's a good goth band that starts with L?
	Lamb of God's not goth.
	Or like heavy metal.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I don't know.
	I'm thinking of a lot of M's.
	Megadeth, Metallica.
	Oh, geez, I'm really blowing it.
	I was just trying to think of a good play on words.
	Sorry, man.
	We were both checkswinging.
	We're like, we'll take another pitch.
	We're going to pass on that riff.
	I wonder if it'd be interesting to talk with that guy.
	Oh, are you kidding me?
	It would be fucking fascinating.
	I bet that would be fascinating.
	Wow, I would love to talk with that guy and just see what he, because he's just a son, you know, like, I can't even imagine what his life is.
	I mean, he had a ton of kids, Bin Laden.
	They were so, I mean, they were rich as fuck.
	And, you know, I believe culturally, it's like you just have a ton of fucking kids if you have that much money.
	I mean, his paintings suck dick.
	That's like.
	I would buy that probably.
	That's not bad, I guess, if your fucking nephew did it.
	But also, you don't end up painting a cave, dude.
	I think he's in America.
	We don't know if he is.
	I don't know, bro.
	Painting by fucking lamplight.
	Yeah, dude.
	If you're painting by lighter.
	Although, didn't they find when they found, when SEAL team got him, he was in like a McMansion in Pakistan, wasn't he?
	Where was he?
	You know, there's a lot of rumor that the guy who said that they say shot him didn't shoot him.
	Ooh.
	You still out there?
	Gotcha.
	Because didn't they throw it?
	Because the guy that did it or claims to have done it.
	I've just heard that this rumor said that that's not this right.
	Oh, yeah, because there was like one guy who's on podcasts all the time.
	Yeah, Michael O'Brien, I think is his name.
	It does feel like...
	The book's amazing.
	Okay.
	His book.
	And he's a neat guy.
	I've met him.
	But people say that.
	Who knows?
	Yeah.
	But I think there's this, or maybe there's just a thing.
	It also could be Robert O'Neill.
	That you're not supposed to say what happened if you did it.
	Yeah.
	I think that's the code of conduct, apparently.
	It feels a little like, you know, it's like, you know, act like you've been there before.
	Like, don't do don't do a dance like a wide receiver.
	Hand the ball to the ref.
	Go kill the next fucking terrorist.
	You know what I mean?
	There's a lot of rumor like that.
	Which I get.
	But yeah, man, that stuff's heartbreaking.
	I want to have some people on that know more about maybe I'm too stupid.
	I mean, you know, but yes, absolutely.
	I mean, it is.
	It feels like you have to, like, it feels like you have to do something.
	Because if you're the power to, of course, you are the one that has to figure it out.
	This, the other entity that's not as powerful or doesn't have any powers or only has limited powers is they can't, it's not, there's no way for them to figure it.
	Yeah.
	I mean, and the, yeah, you definitely should have somebody on who knows more like about it, but it's like the history is crazy because it's like, yeah, not only do they have, it's like they, the people there have, they've tried for two-state solutions in the past, but nobody wants to talk about how like Israel didn't want that.
	Anyone who was trying to have a peaceful thing, like, they assassinated a lot of peaceful leaders, and they, there's even like, they helped fund Hamas because they wanted, I believe they wanted the PLO.
	Again, don't, but like, it's just, it's just the kind of thing where this, this thing is so, it's so fucked up, what's been going on for 50 plus years in Gaza.
	And it's like, I don't, it's not that I don't understand why Israel is a, you know, I understand why Jews are a little on edge.
	I get it.
	Like this fuck, there's so much anti-Semitism in the world, but it's like, that does not in the world?
	Yeah, I do think there's generally anti-Jewish sentiments, but I also think.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, there probably is.
	But I also think like that doesn't, we're not talking about Jewish people.
	We're talking about the state.
	We're talking about a state government.
	We're talking about Israel.
	We're talking about a government.
	And it's like, that's, those aren't the same thing.
	And a government that has people that are extremists in it is different than, you know.
	Well, that Netanyahu guy seems, he just seems, he gives me the creeps.
	Yeah, they have, I mean, they have people in the government that are just like, we should exterminate them.
	Like, they're just straight up saying crazy, racist shit.
	And it's like, that has to also, people also need to know that shit, dude.
	Like, it's not, it's.
	Especially if you were a group that somebody has already said that to.
	But maybe that's like the thing where if like somebody says something to somebody like hate creates hate, you know, I don't know.
	I don't know how that stuff gets stuck in people's DNA and stuff like that, you know?
	I know.
	But yeah, it just, I don't know.
	No, this shit is fucking heartbreaking.
	It's completely fucked.
	And now there's too much visibility now where we are in like with social media and everything for people not to see what's going on.
	I do think, and I also think there's like a generation of people that like for younger people, it's like they're just seeing what's going on right now.
	You know what I mean?
	They're just like, this is fucked up.
	Like you can have any, you know, any, you can have the reasons you're doing this, but like we're, we're 19. We're living through this moment right now.
	And we're, we can't believe what the right and they don't look at the history of stuff because they don't really have a long history in their lives yet.
	So they don't really, history's not a part of things.
	To them, it's like, what's happening right now?
	How does it look right now?
	Yeah.
	That's the way society is now.
	How does this look right now?
	But it's also, I do think, obviously, you should know proper context and you should do your research.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But I also do think there is something to that idea of like, it's also free of a lot of thinking where it's like, oh yeah, we're just, we're just taking these at face value.
	Like we're just seeing this and this is not acceptable to us.
	But who knows?
	Obviously, I'm not, I'm not the guest for super in-depth shit like that.
	But yeah, what's going on here?
	Yeah.
	You're like a Gorgonzola judge.
	Yeah, dude.
	Bring in some aged cheeses.
	Bring in a fucking rib.
	Bring in a ribeye.
	I'll tell you which one's good.
	Four ribeyes.
	I'll slurp a bowl of brie down.
	What are we having for dinner, by the way?
	What are we going to get in between before the show, man?
	Hilarious.
	That's what we got to be thinking about.
	You are right.
	Listen, let's keep potting, but in the back of your head, do you think about dinner, brother?
	What could I go for?
	A quarter house?
	Doesn't sound too bad.
	God.
	Don't sound too bad to me, brother.
	Cordell Stewart blew a guy at Shinley Park over there.
	I'm in the fruit loop.
	Shut up for you.
	Fucking unreal.
	Yeah, I mean, that whole, that white trash is everywhere.
	Baltimore talks like that.
	Baltimore does too?
	Baltimore Philly.
	It's a little different.
	Oh my God.
	What the hell are you talking about, you?
	Here's what I say about Israel-Palestine.
	Let them fight it out.
	Arabs versus Jews, who gives a shit?
	That's what those guys think.
	Put it over there, Joe, make it a Ravens country.
	Put a statue of Joe Flacco up there.
	We will annex Israel for Baltimore.
	Start serving crab cakes out of that book.
	Ray Lewis was a Jew.
	Yeah.
	They'll start saying all kinds of shit.
	Oh, yeah.
	Matt Stover, he was Jewish.
	We should get the country.
	That should be for the Ravens.
	I know.
	I feel bad for my Jewish friends too that are like, fuck, why are we getting, if they're getting flat from people because their country, because they're like, or because they're the country.
	Yeah, well, you should, absolutely.
	It's ridiculous to blame Jewish people, right?
	Like, it's not, and that's why it's like, I don't want, but that, but that's like, you know, you don't want anti-symptoms to get worse because of this, obviously.
	Like, like, you don't want this, like, really, we need, you got to fucking stop bombing the place immediately.
	Like, you got to have a ceasefire.
	It's fucking crazy not to do that.
	And then it's like, let's, can we actually try and have real fucking productive like peace talks?
	Like, could, could something good happen out of this?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, but why can't we step in and try to help?
	We're the ones that are, America is part of the group that, and Britain that helped create it, right?
	Yeah, it was Britain.
	It was, it was a British colony before.
	And then they were like, all right, we feel bad about you just take this essentially.
	You can't ref the first quarter and then fucking.
	All right, boys, call your own fouls.
	Yeah.
	But one team owns all the balls.
	Yeah.
	One team's got all the whistles.
	That's perfect, dude.
	That's why you're great, man.
	Because whistles was the right joke.
	That's all right, man.
	That's all right.
	Whistles was the right joke.
	Stavi, anything else you want to think about, man?
	I think we've talked a lot, huh?
	Yeah, I'm good, bro.
	I mean, we could go.
	This is the easiest podcast in the world.
	We could do this for fucking 10 hours.
	We've got a show tonight.
	I'm trying to think if there was anything else that we wanted to learn.
	We got the special is out.
	The special issue.
	People can watch it.
	It comes out December 5th.
	December 5th on Netflix.
	I'll make sure to post on my socials too.
	Appreciate you.
	On that day, man.
	I'm sure people are going to be excited to see it.
	I just watched Trevor Wallace's new special.
	I thought it was really cool.
	I haven't seen it.
	What's it on?
	It's on, I want to say Amazon maybe.
	Oh, six.
	Or Hulu.
	But it was just cool.
	Trevor's a hard worker man, that Kid.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He's a great dude, and I love just his whole thing.
	It's like so ridiculous.
	They do a podcast where it's like just to talk to porn stars because I really respect that.
	I think they have them on sometimes, but they're still jerking off a lot.
	I respect that from a philosophical standpoint.
	It's like, you know, who's the king of that is that guy Glenny.
	Oh, Glenny Balls.
	I mean, I got to meet that guy because I feel like that's a path my life could have gone down.
	He just has a show with the express purpose of trying to fuck porn stars.
	Yeah.
	He's the man.
	I respect.
	All of Buffalo Cheddar before you come.
	Yeah.
	All of that.
	Yeah, that's the best part.
	It's like, I've seen a couple clips.
	He is not good at interviewing.
	And like, these girls also are not like the fucking most talented orators.
	So it's like not compelling content.
	It exists solely for Glenny Balls to get his dick sucked.
	And honestly, salute.
	Yeah, dude.
	Welcome to America, Glenny.
	Just like James Harden.
	Respect.
	Yeah, you're the good time, dude.
	Oh, Glenny's hilarious, dude.
	Glenny is the most lovable.
	There is, if you see him, he's literally like a French bulldog.
	Love it, dude.
	But that had a lot of croissants.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Definitely.
	A fluffy old French bulldog.
	Oh, he's got some flake coming off him, you know.
	I respect that.
	Yeah, like, I just, I don't know, I don't know the guy personally.
	Oh, yeah, he's great.
	But no, the show is, he's like, yeah, you like having tits in your bra.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	I'd love to know his conversion rate on the podcast.
	He says all the time, I don't try to have sex with these girls.
	Yeah.
	We're like, well, if you don't, then what are you doing?
	Then you're an Albanian.
	You're just a journalist.
	You try to get on 60 minutes.
	You think this is step one?
	Bro, then you're just an Albanian.
	Yeah, exactly.
	That is Albanian TV.
	It's like, we find the biggest breast in village and we ask questions and we see with camera on breast whole time.
	I did go to my Albanian friend's house one time as a child, and they had just gotten Albanian TV.
	Oh, that's beautiful.
	And they had, it was like a variety show where it was like skits, and it's obviously all this, the comedies, you know, back 80 years there, where it's like, all the skits are like men dressed as women.
	You know what I mean?
	Like just like that level of shit.
	And then the DJ in between skits was someone called DJ Topless.
	And it was straight up.
	You're not going to believe this, Theo, a woman with her tits out on TV on like what's on like on a Sunday afternoon.
	This woman just had her tits out spinning Euro trash music.
	It was fucking awesome.
	See, that's the kind of diversity we need in this country.
	Absolutely.
	Titties out, free the nipple for sure.
	Free America, dude.
	That's right.
	Before it's too late.
	Before it's too late.
	We got to figure it out.
	We just got to keep communicating, too, and thinking as much as we can and making people laugh.
	Man, you do a great job of that, Stars.
	Thank you, man.
	This is a highlight of my month.
	Thank you, dude.
	Anytime.
	And, dude, we got to get you on Stavi's World sometime here in New York.
	And where do you tap in New York?
	New York.
	I'll come do it this year.
	Hell yeah, dude.
	I'll come do it this year, man.
	I'll do it next.
	Fuck you.
	Yeah, I got a couple IOUs.
	That's a tough thing with pods.
	It's like you get a few IOUs and then you're doing your own and you start touring and you're like.
	No, I get it.
	And maybe we can figure some shit out on the road.
	Who knows?
	But anytime you want to fucking come on.
	And dude, I'll do this show every week if you want me to.
	Oh, you know.
	Well, you're always welcome, but I owe you, man.
	So I'll come over there.
	Hell yeah.
	Yeah, congratulations, dude.
	Thanks, big guy.
	It's exciting to see you manage this and just and just have an experience.
	And yeah, that James Harden approach, I like it.
	You know, obviously my favorite player is Giannis.
	He's the fucking man, and he's more of the like, I'm going to fucking work hard.
	I'm going to improve.
	But he's also got his family, right?
	Like there's different approaches to it.
	But like, at the end of the day, I just tip my hat to a man who fucking just says, yeah, I'm not that, I'm not going to care about being that good at my job.
	I'm going to care about my life being better.
	And I'm going to be a little more hardened this year.
	I was a little too much like fucking Kobe last year.
	Yeah, be a little more harden on yourself.
	Yep.
	I'm going to be hardened and then I'm going to get reharded.
	I'm going to find a woman and get reharded.
	We really came up with a great loophole.
	Oh, I can't wait to shut down my central nervous system and get an erection.
	Bro, that should be our national anthem.
	Fucking unreal.
	Absolutely.
	I'm a Marchon Beauchamp fan, dude.
	Hell yeah.
	Yep.
	Awesome, dude.
	Yeah.
	Thank you so much, Stavi, and congrats again, brother.
	Thanks, dude.
	Thanks for having me.
	Peace.
	Alex Lagos, congratulations to you on the baby.
	On the Al Baby.
	He was the Al Babian.
	Now I'm just floating on the breeze.
	And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it in my bones.

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