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April 11, 2023 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

03:07:08

E439 Stavros Halkias

Stavros Halkias is a stand-up comedian and host of the podcast Stavvy’s World. His first special “Live at the Lodge Room” was released in 2022 with over 5M views on YouTube. His new crowd-work special “4 Nights in New York City” comes out this week, also on YouTube Stavros Halkias joins This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von to chat about growing up in Greektown, Baltimore, unethical gyros, bad AI comedy, the ongoing Bud Light controversy, muscular love, why he left his old podcast, and much more. Stavros Halkias: https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3KOLMQj Babbel: Visit https://babbel.com/theo to get up to 55% off your subscription. BetterHelp: Visit https://betterhelp.com/theo today to get 10% off your first month. RocketMoney: Visit https://rocketmoney.com/theo and stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way. Morgan & Morgan: If you’re ever injured, visit https://forthepeople.com/thispastweekend or dial Pound LAW (#529). Their fee is free unless they win. Raising Cane’s: Satisfy your Cane’s fix fast by ordering through their app, online at https://raisingcanes.com, or stop by your local restaurant. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Ben https://www.instagram.com/benbeckermusic Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	I have some new tour dates I would like to announce.
	We are trying to come everywhere.
	I know people are like, you got to come to London, you got to come to England, you got to come to Vietnam, you got to come Normandy.
	There's places, everybody, that people have been asking, Kansas City.
	So we're trying to get there.
	It's just there's only so much, you know, time works and we're dealing with that and everything.
	So we're doing our best, but I would like to announce that we have Guildford, New Hampshire at the Bank of New Hampshire Pavilion.
	We have Windsor, Ontario on August 18th at the Coliseum at Caesars, Windsor.
	That's in Canada.
	We have Niagara, Niagara, Niagara Falls, Niagara.
	Niagara Falls, Ontario on August 20th at the Falls View Casino.
	Some of those venues are larger, but we will make sure that there are screens in them so you can see.
	The pre-sale starts Wednesday, April 12th at 10 a.m.
	local with the code Rat King, and the general on sale begins Friday, April 14th at 10 a.m.
	local.
	We've also added a ninth show in Austin, Texas on June 10th at the Bass Concert Hall, and a seventh show, a new show in Phoenix, Arizona on April 30th at the Arizona Financial Theater.
	Those tickets are all available.
	Get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
	Make sure to go there for the most accurate pricing and not off the secondary sites.
	And I know people are asking, come to different places, you know, and we're going to come there.
	Just give us some time.
	Thank you very much for all your support.
	I did a show this past weekend, and it was in Fort Lauderdale, and it was the largest show I'd ever done.
	And it was just, it was scary.
	You know, it was just learning a new size space.
	But people had a great time.
	And just thank you guys so much.
	I can't even believe it.
	All right, we have new merch.
	I want to let you know to check out the new root beer hoodie.
	If you want the coldest root beer, then get that ice cold drip.
	And the four-piece enamel pen set, we got a beautiful little pen set right there.
	You can put a pen on somebody, put it on somebody you love, or put it on somebody who needs love, or put it on yourself.
	Even if you're burying somebody, hit them with that pin.
	Send them with that, be good to yourself, all the way to heaven.
	And you can check all that out at theovonstore.com.
	Thank you so much for wanting to support us and wanting to support the merch.
	We do our best.
	Today's guest is a stand-up comedian and a podcaster.
	You may have seen his special live at the Lodge Room, which came out on YouTube last year.
	He also hosts his own podcast, Stavi's World, where he offers advice to callers.
	He is Greek.
	He's a Greek man or child, was a child.
	And he has a new crowd work special coming out on YouTube this week called Four Nights in New York City.
	I had a great time chatting with him.
	Today's guest is Stavros Halkias.
	Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I've been singing the story And I'll be moving the story
	You get to some of the rural areas or something like that, and people will bring, they'll bring their sister up.
	It's like an event, dude.
	Yeah.
	You got to meet Martha.
	Like, people are going into town.
	Like, it's like an hour and a half.
	They stock up on dry goods and then they go see Theo Vaughan.
	They're like, I got to get kidney beans for the winter while I'm in Portsmouth.
	I got to go back to my little fucking cabin.
	Yeah, I got to get some cornmeal and I got to get Cindy Lou.
	A little Cindy Lou hus.
	Cindy Lou who needs a Cindy Lou husband.
	Yeah, go to the dentist too.
	Yeah, like a noodle.
	You're crawling on my sister.
	You got to come see her.
	Oh, dude, that would be such a come up for somebody in like a rural-ass New Hampshire if they got, if they successfully got you to like, if they basically sold their sister's pussy for entry into your life.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, that would be fucking...
	Like, take my daughter off my hands.
	It was the opposite.
	You had to, like, give a motherfucker goats to take your.
	And why would they do it?
	Because you're from Greece.
	Yes.
	So you, there was a lot of that over there.
	There was a lot of that.
	My grandparents are in arranged marriage, straight up.
	My grandparents.
	Like, it's not even that fucking long ago, dude.
	And it was.
	Arranged marriage is what they have you.
	Like you.
	So arranged marriages, they say, all right, guess what?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	This fucking guy you don't know.
	Darren.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Stavros, actually.
	My grandfather Stavros was married to, yeah, the guy I'm named after.
	Hilarious guy.
	Is he?
	And now, were they in love or did you, could you notice that they were arranged?
	Dude, there's never a more arranged couple in the history of the world.
	Like, my grandfather was so fucking, like, it's funny because you find out about him later on and you find out about like the guy he was outside of this weird toxic marriage.
	And he's like, he would help homeless people.
	He was like really politically active.
	He was like, you know, Greece was really, the politics after World War II were really fucked up.
	And he was like, you know, fighting fascists and shit.
	Like, he was like a cool dude.
	But all I knew of him was is the guy who like wouldn't let my grandmother turn the lights on because it, because it fucking took electricity.
	But he would buy, he collected rare birds.
	And he would get, like, my grandmother would go to like the fucking cheapest.
	Like, he wouldn't go out of pocket.
	She would have to go to like the government doctors, but he would buy his birds like special fucking pills for their coat, make their coat shiny.
	He would buy them vitamins And shit.
	This motherfucker would not let her, like, if she ran the fucking fan on, not the air conditioning, forget.
	They didn't have air conditioning.
	If the fan was going too long, he'd be like, toothlessly, he would be like, what's going on in there?
	Let's cut it off.
	He would just shuffle and he would just fucking cut.
	He wouldn't even say shit to me.
	I'll have this owl flap its wings for us.
	That'll keep things cool.
	Hell yeah.
	My fucking cockatiels, we need nothing but them.
	We don't need a ceiling fan.
	I have two toucans that are here.
	Have away, boys.
	Yeah, dude.
	Wow.
	But how beautiful must that have been, though, back in the day if you didn't have a ceiling fan, but you could train like six warblers to just fly in a little circle in your living room.
	That would be really picaresque.
	Yeah.
	You know, you'd feel real whimsical.
	And then that song, oh, come, oh, ye fish.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
	You'd have to train separate birds.
	Yeah, you'd have to train like parrots to sing.
	If you don't have a fan, you don't have a fucking record player.
	That's a good point, actually.
	Yeah, the old bird appliances.
	Yeah.
	Welcome to Stavros' All Birds Appliances.
	He's like, yeah, my grandfather's like the Flintstones, but with birds in Greece in like 1992.
	It's like fully, fully had, like upstairs, it was modern.
	This motherfucker had his personal fan.
	He wouldn't let her cut the ceiling fan on, but he had like a fan before the guards.
	Like it was literally a fan with three sharp ass blades.
	No frontal.
	He had a fan from before they had fronts.
	They hadn't invented the front of the fan.
	And I was like, what the fuck is this?
	Being like a fat 10-year-old who's like, just wants to be in air conditioning and play fucking, you know, PlayStation.
	And I have to go hang.
	And like the worst part of our vacations in Greece, we're like, go hang out with your grandfather.
	And, you know, he's just making like spaghetti that is so boiled, it just disintegrates on your tongue.
	He has no teeth.
	He just eats like a baby.
	You know what I mean?
	He's just shred and cheese on there.
	And then he's like, come into my, come into my fucking room.
	Him and my grandmother obviously had separate rooms.
	Oh, yeah.
	Is that a Greek thing or not?
	That's like a, that's a, they hated each other their entire lives.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, exactly, exactly.
	Which is very, I guess now it's progressive.
	Like, if I got married, I would want separate rooms.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	Come hang out.
	We'll still probably sleep in somebody's bed together most of the time.
	But like, I got to fucking have my, especially we travel all the time.
	Yeah.
	And people now, I think there's things now, like someone might even snore at a certain octave.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's crazy the nuance that can lead you to sleep somewhere else from your spouse or to want to have some space.
	For sure.
	No, I mean, I got a, I got a CPAP, dude.
	You do?
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm fat as shit, dude.
	I got to have a CPAP.
	And does CPAP, what does it do?
	Does it like process the fat at night or something?
	I wish.
	That would be sick if it just jiggled your shit.
	No, you get so fat that it's dangerous to sleep.
	Like, you get so fat that you might just like...
	It's like he is fighting for his life.
	It's like, and actually, not, I mean, fat people have it more than non-fat, than non-fat people, but like when you hear about like a healthy guy who's like, he ran every day and he just dropped dead into sleep.
	Sleep apnea, like it happens to like like non, like bad snores and shit.
	And that's really fucking bad for you because it's like, imagine if you never got a good night's rest ever in your entire fucking life.
	And it just like, you know, adds up.
	So like it'll fuck, it'll fuck, it'll fuck you up.
	And that can happen with sleep apnea.
	That's what.
	So sleep apnea is, let's bring it up there.
	Yeah, let's get sleep apnea on the board.
	Show me sleep apnea.
	What the hell?
	Just Steve Harvey.
	Things that make my wife wet.
	Show me sleep apnea.
	Sleep apnea is a potentially serious sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts.
	Wow.
	Yeah, dude.
	So it's kind of like that new button that they have in cars a lot.
	Yes.
	Push to start.
	If you're pushed to start and your fucking Nissan Maxima was on the fritz and you just stopped in the highway, you might get fucking rear-ended and that's basically suffocating in your sleep as a fat man.
	Yeah.
	What if that was your husband?
	You just had to make sure you hit the button every time.
	He just, he just settles down like you're a stoplight.
	You hear him starting off again.
	Yeah.
	Just one big nipple.
	They replace one nipple with the button with the stay alive button.
	You just got to pinch it.
	And one time instead of she walks over softly, right?
	Yeah.
	And you think she's going to go press the button.
	This is how the movie ends.
	And she brings her other hand up and there's just flowers in it.
	She sets them on his chest.
	Wow.
	And she walks out of the room and frees all the women that he's been keeping in the basement.
	Oh, so he's also a sex criminal.
	And goes downstairs and tells grandma, turn on the fans.
	Turn on the fans.
	Yeah.
	Oh, Grandpa Stavros is dead.
	And you hear the everything is free suddenly.
	You hear her strangle all the fucking cockatiels.
	You hear all the birds who were his accomplices in the sex crimes.
	He trained birds with like, he would put suction cup dildos on their heads and they would fly rape.
	Just landing in Philadelphia.
	Just take it all the way, yeah.
	Let's take this scenario all the way.
	Just landing in women from just the air.
	Just like, oh, damn.
	Some lady's just going for a walk or something.
	Yeah, dude.
	Just getting raped by a fucking toucan.
	Dude, one time I was in New York and this lady comes walking up.
	It was my first time ever there.
	Yeah.
	And she goes, did you see that?
	Right.
	And she kept pointing.
	And somebody had, I guess, jumped off a building nearby because a lot of people were gathered around.
	God damn.
	You know?
	And she's like, did you see that?
	Did you see that?
	And so I'm looking up there.
	And then I said, did I see what?
	And she just showed me her vagina.
	And she goes, that guy landed in my pussy.
	So is the awesome bit.
	Awesome bit.
	You're not thinking about looking at a pussy.
	Oh, not at all.
	She tricks me with the building.
	And then she goes, that guy landed in my pussy and showed me her.
	Sadly not.
	It made me so scared.
	And I've just gotten into the city.
	Yeah, dude.
	You're like, whatever, what they told me back in Tennessee was right.
	Yeah.
	They're like, what they told me back in the fucking.
	And some guys like, buy two cannolis or you'll die in an hour.
	Like there was all kind of like street mystery going on.
	Absolutely.
	God, it's scary.
	Now, I wonder what she's thinking there in terms of, first of all, you don't see a lot of female flashers, which is kind of cool.
	So salute to her to kind of like bringing the glass ceiling of like sex crime.
	She's breaking it by flashing her pussy because it's hard to get a guy not to want to look at your pussy.
	Also, you know what I mean?
	They're up against that.
	Most guys will at least take a peek, even if they don't want to fuck.
	Out of curiosity, I'll look at most ladies' pussies just to, all right, I'll take a look.
	Yeah.
	You know, I mean, I don't know.
	What did she look like?
	Was she like fucking?
	And I like to say cooter, honestly.
	I do want to say that.
	I don't want to.
	Okay.
	You want to say cooter?
	Yeah.
	I just don't want.
	These are cultural differences.
	Well, somebody could be with their kids or something.
	Sure, sure, sure, sure.
	Okay, here's the thing.
	Yeah, well, when I imagine, I don't want the kid to be like, hey, mom, what's up?
	Who is he?
	Right, right, right.
	But if mom's like, the kid's like, hey, mom.
	What about mom?
	You know?
	Cooter's cute.
	Yeah.
	And then mom could be like, cooter is somebody that works at the gas station.
	Right, right, right.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So it could, you know, there's a lot more mystery there.
	Oh, yeah.
	But I think if you look at a vagina, like, you almost have to look at it from the bottom.
	I don't feel like if you're looking directly on, it's like, it could be any age, right?
	That's true.
	Yeah, head on.
	You don't, you don't, yeah.
	You don't see the wear and tear unless it's the.
	Yeah, I don't feel like you want to, it's like.
	You need a reverse drone shot, basically.
	Like it's flying up.
	Right.
	It just shocked me.
	I've never seen a woman, you know, and she, it was like reverse magic, like it landed in my.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's also really fun, too, to say that he landed because what is she saying there?
	Right.
	That it caught her or is her cooter so tight that maybe that's what exploded his brain?
	You know what I mean?
	It's like it wasn't the sidewalk.
	That's how my, I can't say cooter.
	I'm sorry.
	It feels weird.
	It's just for me.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I could say it's not bad.
	That's probably worse, right?
	I mean, it's all fine.
	I think, I just think of different places listening, you know, of different environments.
	Muff.
	How do you feel about muff?
	Some people used to say that dussy.
	People used to say all the time.
	That dussy.
	Yeah.
	What else?
	Cooter.
	Gash is a clat twat.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's more British.
	You're right.
	You do go through.
	I'm sorry that looks like it pained you to hear Twat.
	I think, I wonder.
	I have a real distaste for everything but Cooter.
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	I wonder if Cooter does sound more manageable.
	It sounds like an animal you're trying to do.
	It's Cooter for sure.
	It could be a Pixar character could be named Cooter.
	Here she is.
	Look at her.
	Cooter.
	Cooter.
	That's awesome.
	Yeah.
	And she has on heels, you know?
	Yeah, of course.
	Like a squirrel.
	Yeah.
	Like a squirrel in makeup.
	But then nowadays she comes out on stage and she's like, I'm a man.
	Right, right.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Oh, that's interesting.
	Look, Cooter, named after a pussy, now he's trans.
	Or she's trans, I guess.
	A trans squirrel named Cooter.
	That would, honestly, that's the odds of that being in a Pixar movie are pretty high.
	We're going to get a trans squirrel in a Pixar movie.
	The odds of that being the next lead in like Lethal Weapon 11. I don't know.
	Mel might throw his body in front of that.
	I mean, I guess as long as it's not a Jewish trans person, he might be down.
	That's true.
	Do we know his stance on Jews?
	Trans?
	No, Jews, we got.
	That's pretty well documented.
	I think so.
	I think we got Mel on Jews pretty nicely.
	I think you didn't even have to hear his comments.
	Just watch Passion of the Christ.
	It's like, this is awesome, dude.
	You learned a whole language, ancient language, to be anti-Semitic.
	Because that gives you cover.
	When you learn the ancient language and bring it back from the dead, he's just like, no, no, no, I'm trying to be real.
	If that was in English, they'd be like, Jesus, tone it down on the juice.
	But he's like, but you're like, whoa, this is a different tongue.
	It's like, I'm in a different world.
	I'm in a different place.
	So respect to Mel for that one.
	Yeah, I think a lot of people, I'm not going to say I bought some of the merch.
	Some of the unauthorized merch.
	Yeah, some of the bootleg.
	Bootleg Passion of the Christ merch.
	Yeah.
	Savros, thanks for coming, man.
	Yeah, dude.
	Thanks for having me.
	So some audience might not know you, right?
	And really, I just think about my mom.
	Sure.
	Because she watches the show.
	Okay.
	And, but yeah, so you started out.
	I know you're out of Maryland.
	Yeah, I grew up in Baltimore.
	And is that weird being like a white person in Maryland or in Baltimore?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, I mean, look, I grew up Greek.
	I mean, I'm Greek.
	And it's Greek.
	Are y'all, where are you guys?
	Because I know it goes on the race rankings.
	Yeah.
	Well, as an ethnic white, it's like, it's kind of the best.
	I kind of consider it the best of both worlds.
	Cause it's like, you know, we're kind of, we got, we got our own cuisine.
	We got, I speak a different language.
	We got a place to vacate.
	Like, the beaches are fucking sick.
	Weren't here for slavery.
	Huge.
	Really?
	That's huge.
	Yeah, no, my family came over here in 82. Which people had 1382?
	Yeah.
	Didn't slavery even happen.
	You're so right.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I'm not saying they never found the boats.
	Yeah.
	I think there are some boats.
	Actually, the boats are not the problem.
	Really?
	Bring them out.
	So you think Amistad was like just kind of fictional or it was like a potential reimagining?
	No, I just think it was like, look, I love Amistad.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I'm just saying it's, I think some things are up for interpretation.
	It'd be funny if you thought slavery happened like the way it was in Django, if that's the only thing you accepted, because it was like the one where the slaves win.
	And you're like, yeah, it was them taking advantage of us.
	Yeah.
	And that's how it happened.
	And we actually need reparations.
	You know, that would be a fun twist on it.
	Well, the way the world is now, I feel like somebody could see a movie, see a documentary, and that's the, I mean, I guess I don't know what they teach in school.
	So I feel like it's like some people, you get all your information off of one YouTube video and that is your fuel.
	That's your fuel for the rest of your life.
	Absolutely.
	You're good, dude.
	You're all set on learning on that topic.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's real dangerous.
	Do you think you would have owned a slave or not?
	Interesting.
	Let's see here.
	I don't know if this conversation is going to be good.
	Yeah, we probably should move.
	Yeah, we should do it like an abrupt cut.
	I'm going to say no, though, before we do.
	Just for the record, no, and then we can move on.
	Okay.
	I'm okay with talking.
	I mean, it's, I mean, yeah, I wouldn't.
	Yeah.
	Me neither.
	So we're clear.
	And folks, for those listening, I didn't do air quotes.
	I'm not saying anybody else did, but I wouldn't.
	Yeah.
	No air quotes.
	I'm just going to put it that way.
	Oh, air quotes are the new shackles, huh?
	I don't know about that.
	Here's my old ball and air quotes right here.
	Yeah, yeah, dude.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	No, look, man, I believe in freedom, man.
	That's such an awesome take.
	When we're talking about slavery, it's like me, I'm on the freedom side.
	It's like, I'm with you, too.
	Look here, buddy.
	But it was not, I would say the key part about, again, going to like the white ethnic group is if you weren't a part of slavery and you grow up in like a in like a majority black city, that is a fun little like get out of being accused of racism free card where it's like, I would 100%, like when they're making fun of the white trash kid whose family like, you know, came over here in Ireland 300 years ago.
	Who couldn't afford food, who probably also couldn't afford a slave.
	Right, right, right.
	No chance, yeah.
	And yeah, no way, but he was around, you know?
	We don't know.
	We don't know what he was up to.
	He doesn't have the papers.
	I know for a fact, some Stavros Halkius 300 years ago was on a beach like fishing or something.
	Fishing for what, though?
	You know?
	Black cod?
	Black cod or cock?
	Cod.
	With a D. Okay, yeah, yeah.
	No, I don't think so.
	Maybe like octopus.
	Maybe like calamari, a shrimp or two.
	It just depends on what he was trying to pull out.
	That's true.
	Yeah, no, they have.
	Sign up a black cod.
	Well, what's interesting about Greek racism is that they don't even, like, they don't have a term.
	Like, don't get me wrong, in Greece, Greek people are racist.
	Like, you know, there's plenty of Greek people that are racist, but there's not even a term for like black guy.
	They call, like, it's like, it's like, it's all lumped into like Arabs.
	Like, they just like, they consider black people just like, because that's that's old school Greek racism because it's like, you know, yeah, the original stuff.
	Is that the original?
	Yeah, because Turks, the Ottoman Empire took over Greece in like the 13 or 1400s, and they really, they got our asses good for like 500 years.
	Y'all were slaves?
	I mean, yeah, pretty much.
	Not like in the, but like in a vassal sense where it's like these motherfuckers just came over.
	We were second-class citizens in our own country kind of thing.
	Oh, yeah.
	But.
	That happened to a lot of people.
	Yugoslavians, too.
	For sure.
	No, absolutely.
	The Ottomans had a nice little run there.
	And all they got that was that piece of furniture?
	Yeah, off the strength of the furniture, they were like, what happened is they would have real tiny little Turks.
	They would hollow out.
	It was kind of, they used our own move about the Trojan horse with they would hollow out these Ottomans.
	Little Turkish midget in there pops out in the middle of the night, just fucking slits everyone's throat.
	You know, they were smart.
	You got to give them credit.
	Slits their throat?
	That's a little guy.
	Just a little guy.
	Nice with the knife, though.
	Nice with the Simtar.
	That'd be crazy.
	Smallest ninja.
	Yeah, dude.
	So tiny.
	real little.
	So ninja.
	So, yeah.
	That's a nice.
	I would love that representation right there.
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	But one thing I'll say about the Ottoman Empire that's cool, because they were Muslim and Greeks were, we were Orthodox Christian, they gave, they wouldn't, all the pork, you know, they think it's unclean and shit.
	You guys got it.
	They gave it to us.
	That's how gyros came about.
	That's how a yido happened.
	So if it wasn't for 400 years of semi-slavery in Greece, we wouldn't have a yido.
	And it's like, from where I'm standing, that's an easy trade.
	I didn't have to be semi-enslaved by a fucking, you know, sultan.
	I'm just eating the fucking sandwich that came out of it.
	So I'm pretty fucking pumped personally about it.
	Oh, God.
	Damn.
	Oh, yeah.
	So you, you've had a great couple last couple of years.
	I mean, you've had a, you know.
	No, it's been a sick, it's been crazy.
	Was it, was it, what was it like coming up in Baltimore?
	Because I remember I went over there to Met Goobies.
	Oh, hell yeah, the goobs.
	And I got offered a three somewhere.
	I forgot about that.
	Oh, in Baltimore.
	Yeah, there was a woman and a man.
	It was a black female and a white male, right?
	Like I'm a dispatcher or something.
	That's where the Baltimore flares up in me.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	That is a very Baltimore thing.
	And they kept kind of circle, like they were.
	They were hanging out a little too long.
	Yeah.
	Lingering.
	After they were.
	Did they have that bar built yet?
	No.
	Because now they have a bar attached to it.
	That's a good place for a crowd to linger to try and fuck you would be the bar.
	But you're saying you're just in the lobby of Magoobies.
	Yeah, I'm just lobbying around out there.
	I'm just like a, I guess a lobbyist or whatever.
	I don't even know what it is anymore.
	But yeah, I'm just out there.
	And they were kind of hanging around.
	And they were like, hey, we just want to let you know, you know, we live here.
	Nice.
	You'd like to come back and spend some time with my wife.
	Oh, so it wasn't even a threesome.
	It was like a cuck situation.
	He wanted you to fuck his wife in front of him.
	Maybe.
	See, I didn't know.
	I guess I didn't see like all, there wasn't like a fanflet or anything, you know?
	So I didn't see all of the details.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	I was like, damn, dude, I don't, you know.
	Spend some time with my wife sounds like I want you to fuck my wife.
	It doesn't sound like, hey, you fuck my wife while she sucks my dick.
	It sounds like I'm going to be in a little chair and I'm going to be watching you fuck my black wife.
	That's what it sounds like to me.
	Like he's just going to sit on an ottoman or something.
	That would be good, too, because that further puts him in a position of like, my dumb brain isn't working.
	I was going to say a position of not power, which shows you how fucking dumb I am, which is, there is a word I'm looking for, and I'm not going to get it.
	I'm going to filibuster until maybe I think of it.
	Like a tertiary position?
	No, no, no.
	It doesn't matter.
	We're going to have to.
	Like an inferiority.
	Inferior position, even more inferior position.
	Right, yeah, yeah.
	Because when you're lower.
	Yeah, you're at least more of a supporting cast or absolutely.
	Yeah.
	And you would think if you're on a bed, he's on an ottoman, he might be looking directly into his wife's cooter as your cock is going in and out of it.
	He knows that.
	I can't say cock.
	Yeah, you can.
	It's just, man.
	But you know what I'm saying?
	I'm going to stay off the porn, bro.
	Are you getting hard?
	Whoa, what's going on here?
	You brought it with you.
	Yeah.
	I didn't know you had it inside of you, dude.
	You jump off a building and crack open.
	Like a kinder egg and I'm full of pornography.
	Oh, it's just a bunch.
	It's like a couple of cash numbers from Black.
	Yeah.
	Or Bangbus.com.
	They just got a bunch of stuff.
	Bangbus.
	Yeah, they come out.
	Some teen was fucking inside of a small bus inside of my stomach.
	That's what's going on here.
	Somebody wearing olives as wristlets just come out completely naked.
	Damn, dude.
	So, but I'm just saying, if you were a cuck, a lower position where you could peer directly into the action would be even more humiliating, in my opinion.
	You know what I'm saying?
	So that's a shame you didn't take them off.
	Have you ever been in a three-way?
	We had a woman or man, somebody emailed us one time and tried to give me money to fly out there to San Francisco to make love to their wife.
	Wow, interesting.
	But only those couple of times?
	Let me think.
	I'm sure you've gotten plenty of you and two girls in the heyday when you're real fucked, you know, when you're getting fucked up all the time.
	Oh, I think.
	There was one time I remember I was in, I think, Missouri or something, right?
	And they had this one lady and she was just a real, she was vibey.
	She was just a damn drum beat.
	Love that.
	Yeah.
	A lot of silk.
	What are we talking?
	Like, when you say vibey, in my head, I'm thinking belly dancer.
	I'm thinking, like, you know what I mean?
	I love how in Greek, with Greek stuff, even the dancer still has a belly.
	Yeah, dude.
	A little soft.
	We're going to acknowledge.
	We're going to acknowledge the best part.
	The belly dancer, dude.
	Oh, the third tit.
	I like a little squish, dude.
	Yeah, huh?
	Give me a little snitch.
	God's tit.
	Yeah.
	The belly.
	That is true, actually, man.
	God's tit is the best, that belly bro.
	Nothing wrong with God's tit.
	Dude, I bet now this would be interesting if women got a nipple installed on that belly instead of that, whatever the hole is, which is so outdated.
	Let's get that out of there.
	Yeah, then you get fat as shit and you peel that.
	That's a huge tip.
	But not even a third one, like a fucking awesome.
	It's third, but it's the biggest, best one.
	Oh, oh, yeah.
	It's a, yeah, it's that would be sick.
	Yeah, it's like, um, wow, that's a genius.
	God, that is.
	Honestly, dude, that's, you're a fucking genius for that one because that's, that's like, that's like a fucking taking your weakness and turning it into your greatest strength.
	In a heartbeat.
	Yeah.
	Like just fucking that.
	I'm sucking on that.
	Sucking on a giant stomach.
	Here's the best part.
	In a dude's brain, it would feel like awesome.
	Absolutely.
	Just this, doing this.
	One giant titty.
	So in your, you close your eyes, it's like you're sucking like a giantist's tits.
	Like, like the guy from Jack and the Beanstalk, the guy at the top of the beanstalk, Charlie the Giant, right, I believe.
	Oh, Charlie was the guy climbing up.
	Oh, Charlie was the guy.
	No, it wasn't a Jack.
	Oh, the one-eyed thing?
	Oh, yeah, Jack.
	No, Jack died.
	I think his brother started doing it.
	Oh, shit.
	Okay.
	It's like a Gallagher II situation where it's like, he just takes, Charlie just takes fucking Jack's whole shit and starts climbing up beanstalks.
	Bro, he's a Nepa baby.
	He's a damn NEPA baby.
	But yeah, I remember this one lady from Missouri.
	So she had, she was real vibey.
	She just kind of was like, she was cute.
	Sure.
	When we say vibey, so we're talking like hippie vibey, crystals vibey.
	No, just pretty clean looking, I guess.
	Clean, okay.
	A woman you want to fuck is what you mean.
	I mean, a woman who it's like, hey, wow.
	Look at this clean lady.
	Okay.
	That's not what I would describe as vibey, but again, a cultural lady.
	Somebody you could lay next to and not feel like, oh, man, I'm going to get like, you know, I'm going to get stains on my shirt or whatever.
	Like a, you know, just a tidy lady, I guess.
	A clean woman.
	Yeah.
	I would say what you're describing is like the bare minimum for wanting to have sex with someone.
	Yeah, or anything.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	So that's vibey.
	All right.
	So I got, yeah.
	So anyway, she invites me over and she had a friend with her, right?
	And the friend had this very like, she looked like one of those weight lifters from like the 1906 or something with the barbell that had the stuff on it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like 12 pounds.
	7,000.
	Of course.
	She had like a singlet on, like a one.
	A little curly mustache.
	You know, like, it's just like a, yeah, yeah.
	It's like a leotard or whatever.
	Sure.
	Like the big show would wear.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	She had that, man, and she was jacked.
	She's really, I'm down to make love or, you know, try to make love if you want to do it, but my friend is going to do it also.
	Wow.
	Now, the strong girl is her friend.
	Yeah.
	So the vibe.
	Now, what would you say?
	Is the strong girl, is she vibey as well?
	The strong girl is more strong.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And so you wouldn't, you didn't fuck them?
	I don't remember.
	Honestly, what happened?
	I don't even remember.
	That's crazy.
	You do remember.
	I think it locked out.
	You were getting fucking deadlifted by the strong girl.
	I mean, she grabbed you by the penis and just clean and jerked you and then sucked you off like that.
	She's fucking sucking your dick like this.
	Overhead press Oh, oh, oh Oh The other girl's just watching Martin.
	She's not even involved.
	She's watching Martin on her face.
	Martin.
	Oh, fuck.
	That's crazy.
	Well, I hooked up with a strong girl.
	I don't want to do my act.
	I do a joke in the special I'm about to tape in May, but I did hook up the strong girl and I really did like it.
	She was, it was fucking sick.
	She had giant, like, muscly ass thighs, and it was like a battle, dude.
	It was like, like, I was in her, and like, you know, you're eating pussy, and it's like, you're the strongest one in the equation.
	And she's like, you have total control of the person's body while you're going down on them.
	With her, it was not, I was nodding.
	Like, it was like, oh, it was like when it's like a storm on a ship, you're just like, hold on, batting down the hatches.
	It was like, oh, I was like, truly like suffocating.
	Like, she was squeezing.
	Like, sometimes a girl will squeeze her thighs when you're eating her pussy.
	This girl was doing that, and I was like, having trouble breathing because she was that strong.
	But you also have, I mean, that's like a C. That's not a, that's like a C puss.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Cracking.
	That's like putting on the C puss.
	Yeah.
	Or like.
	Oh, the CPAP.
	The C puss.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	But dang, so do you have trouble being down there?
	Yeah.
	Are you like one of those like filleting like pugs or whatever where they can't breathe, you know?
	No, no, no.
	It's usually not a problem.
	The CPAP doesn't kick it.
	No, no, I'm not.
	I'm not.
	I'm not snoring into the pussy.
	I wear that like that little dog.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	A pug.
	Yes, absolutely.
	And like, isn't he soaking?
	It looks like two sneezes are beating the fuck out of him from the inside.
	Yeah.
	I don't know if he's.
	You better hope this motherfucker doesn't have allergies.
	He's done.
	Dander will kill your dog.
	No, no, no breathing problems, luckily, while I'm awake and eating pussy.
	Thank, praise, praise God for that one.
	So you came out of Baltimore.
	It's funny because you've started to have like real people on this show.
	It's so funny.
	The juxtaposition between like, you know, famous singers episodes.
	And then like you ask one question, we're talking about eating strong pussy for like 45 minutes.
	It's like, you know, it's just such a funny, I love it, dude.
	The show has range.
	Yeah, we try to.
	We try to.
	Well, a lot of stuff it's like I want to learn about in the most free time I have to sit and talk with somebody is in here.
	No, I get that, dude.
	I fully get that.
	You know, so it becomes kind of nice sometimes when you can talk to somebody and learn about Something new.
	I wish that my memory worked a little bit better sometimes, but yeah, dude, I don't remember shit that I say or take in.
	Like, I love, I've started reading books just because I can't go to sleep and my brain is so dumb that if I read, it'll be like it'll just shut off instead of having to read.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, so, but I enjoy, like, I legit have some kind of learning disability.
	And like, and so that's just a trick for, like, I put my phone in the other room and I read.
	And truly, my brain will shut off.
	And I remember like, like, I'll tell my friends, like, dude, this book was fucking sick.
	The cold, you know, I just read this book called The Cold 6000.
	And I'm like, and they're like, oh, awesome.
	What's it about?
	I was like, fuck.
	It's like Cuba or like Kennedy's involved.
	Like, I don't know shit.
	But in the moment, I love it.
	Like, I retain readings minimally.
	I could not tell you any.
	I'm reading a book about like, what the fuck am I reading now?
	Altered car, but it's pretty good.
	It's like a detective like fucking sci-fi.
	Oh, yeah.
	Is that by Michael O'Brien?
	Michael O'Oh.
	The candy ball.
	Kind of a bust.
	It's crazy how every tall black guy is just expected to go play basketball.
	There should be like a rescue for that, like, right?
	Like, there should be a group that goes into the NBA and just get goes to the business.
	Give some really good jobs.
	Long sweaters.
	Come on, bro.
	In the middle of the night.
	Like, you're not, you don't know.
	Yeah.
	You don't want to be in here.
	You want to be a drama teacher.
	Yeah, you want to be a drama.
	You want to work at the airport.
	You want to be a veterinarian.
	That would be sick, dude.
	Meanwhile, the guy's just in his sleep, just posting people up.
	Yeah.
	It is funny, though, because that's the only time where if you are over seven feet, you can be completely, you can have no coordination whatsoever, hate sports, hate basketball.
	They will just force you to play some level of pro sports.
	Like that does have to be annoying for the guy who really is a fucking, in his heart and soul, really is a veterinarian and really wants to be spaying cats, but he's got to fucking, you know, try and guard Giannis.
	You know, like, he's like, I just want to fucking snip a pug's nuts off right now.
	I just want to fucking give a pug a CPAP machine.
	I don't want to be getting dunked on by a Joelle Embiid right now.
	That's got to be at least one, but, you know, and they don't even, I mean, they make money, but they don't even, if you're like a shitty end of the bench big, they make like a, you know, you make a million bucks, two million.
	I don't know what the, what the NBA veteran minimum is right now.
	Yeah.
	But if it's like, if they're making the minimum and then, you know, half that shit's gone for taxes and 10% agent and shit.
	It's like, they're really not that rich.
	And it seems like a horrible life to be, you're traveling all the time.
	Like if you're not super fucking rich and it's not cool, if you're just at the end of a bench and you hate it and you'd rather be doing some other shit, kind of a fucking, you know, worst case scenario.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's got to kind of be tough, I think, especially you get there and you're like, yeah, do I even want to be here?
	But then at the same time, you've done enough work to be in.
	But then I wonder how many guys lose their desire because they don't even get to play in the games.
	Yeah, probably a lot.
	You know, that's imagine like being in a band.
	There's a band, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	There's deaf leopards or whatever, right?
	Yeah, deaf leopards.
	And then they have three, four backup leopards.
	Yeah, they can hear.
	Right.
	They're right there, they're sitting there on the side.
	Yeah.
	You know, the first couple of shows, they're like, we're going to get in the game.
	They're crying their instruments and stuff.
	Or you go in and you get to play one chord and they're like, all right, come out.
	The other leopards are back in.
	Yeah, with three minutes left and a song, they'll put you in if it's like a long song.
	While the guys, they want to get a head start on getting their dick sucked by the groupies.
	So they like just call in the backup leopards.
	That would be sick.
	But then you never get in.
	So by the, after, after that 30th show, are you still sitting over there pretending?
	Are you doing, you know, you and you and the other guy next to you just, you know, trying to do how many Zins you can do in your mouth at once, you know, playing fucking Zen Daddy with your buddy before you both leave your wife or each other.
	That sounds beautiful, actually.
	That sounds like a love story.
	In the darkness of being backup bass players or whatever, we've concocted here.
	They found gay love.
	Two men, nine Zin.
	So that's actually beautiful.
	I've turned around on the whole thing now because I think that's awesome.
	Maybe those giant 7-2 guys are discovering they're gay with other guys on the bench.
	That's a lot of gay sex, by the way.
	Two seven-footers fucking each other in the ass.
	Bro, what are you talking about?
	Just go like this, dude.
	Sorry, man.
	You know, what can I say?
	It's again, cultural differences is a real, you know, I came in in the tracksuit, Baltimore.
	This is just kind of how we go about stuff.
	We just kind of talk about people fucking each other in the ass pretty openly.
	I think so.
	It's more vulgar.
	East Coast.
	Yeah, that's true, huh?
	East Coast poor city.
	If you come from like a shitty town, you know, you're talking about that kind of shit.
	Yeah, right.
	Everyone's pretty outwardly horny.
	There's no like, there's no like that, that veneer of like, you know, decorum that you got in the South where it's like you kind of hide your desires.
	Yeah.
	But it's just hidden, though.
	It's just hidden behind like something.
	It's barely hidden.
	Like behind a picture of lemonade.
	Yeah, you can see it.
	You can see.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like, oh, right behind here, you have some pedophiles.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, they got that here.
	They got that in a major way.
	How are we doing on audio and stuff in there?
	Okay, cool.
	Yeah, baby.
	I also want to say before we go to the next question that we then somehow end up talking about two seven foot guys fucking each other.
	We got strong girls, fucking strong girls, and then gay seven footers real fast.
	I have a I'm on tour and I got a crowd work special coming out tomorrow, the day after this comes out.
	So congratulations.
	Just a little something.
	Yeah.
	A little something on the YouTube for free for the people out there.
	So go to YouTube.
	I've been trying to put all my shit on YouTube.
	I mean, that shit's helped my career the most is just throwing shit on YouTube.
	Unbelievably, right?
	It's crazy.
	Yeah.
	You go from clubs to theaters.
	So that's like, there's like a little bonus.
	I don't even consider this like a special.
	It's like a half-hour crowd work special.
	I did like some shows to warm up for this tour, the Fat Rascal tour.
	And I just took, I did four shows in New York and I just took the best like moments and we put it together.
	So free special, go watch that.
	And I also have my other special, my original special for free on YouTube.
	And I'm working on the next, the actual material one.
	And that first one really, would you say that that had a big step in pushing you to a different space?
	Oh, yeah, for sure.
	I mean, that, I was already just like doing clips and shit, which I thought, like, I never thought people would want to see 35-second or 45-second crowd work clips.
	Like, I thought that was, you know, I was like, well, that's not what stand-up is.
	That's not what you want to do.
	But I was like, I'm putting out a YouTube special, you know, at the end of this year.
	So in like February of like the year that I put the special out, I was like, well, I have like, because I was recording every show I did to work on the special.
	I would watch them back.
	I was like, I got to like try and make this good because it's like, you know, people knew me as like a podcast.
	They didn't know I was a comedian.
	So I was working hard on that shit.
	And then I had all these like little crowd work moments.
	I was like, well, these are, we'll just throw them away if we don't put them up.
	Yeah, these are viable.
	Yeah, we might as well just throw them up there because my YouTube channel had like 20,000 subscribers.
	And I was like, throw them up there, see what happens.
	And like that shit helped grow the channel crazy.
	And then, because I think YouTube was just trying to steal TikTok's whole shit.
	And so whenever they do that, they push all that new stuff.
	The algorithm just any kind of like little clip like pushes it.
	And yeah, dude.
	And then people started subscribing to the channel.
	And then once you had a little base and then I put the special out there, it was like, fuck, it was crazy.
	I couldn't even believe.
	Truly, I still can't believe.
	Like, I did my first, I did a bunch of theater shows in Chicago.
	And you step out and you're like, who the fuck are these people?
	How the fuck, how the fuck are 5,000 people know who I am and want to see me in Chicago?
	They want to hear my stories about almost suffocating eating pussy from a bodybuilder.
	Like 5,000 people in a city I've been to three times.
	Last time I was here, I did, I did, last time I was in Chicago, I played the Lincoln Lodge Great Fun Room.
	It's a 90-seater.
	You know what I mean?
	And it's like one year later, it's like the Vic, you know?
	So it's like, it blows my fucking mind.
	And, you know, shout out to the, shout out to the algorithm, baby.
	I'm sucking on the algorithm nicely.
	The third, I look at the algorithm.
	Yes, that's the manifestation of the nipple stomach.
	I'm on the, I'm just, I'm, I'm fucking breastfeeding on the nipple stomach right now.
	Dude, yeah, I mean, it's, I remember when your first, when your special came out, um, well, I remember, I remember I met somebody that was on, you know what I'm talking about, C-U-M-T-V.
	Oh, come town.
	Yeah.
	I think we met way back in the day.
	Was it?
	Serious.
	It's serious.
	Yeah, dude.
	You have no, did you have short hair?
	You had no hair, dude.
	Yeah, we should.
	Yeah, dude.
	Like, seven years ago, we did a serious raw dog podcast, and it's like none of us, I mean, like, you were doing better, but not like this, and I was nowhere near.
	Like, we were just like, God, you were like a guy working clubs, and I was a guy working like Thursdays and Sundays.
	Oh, my God, dude.
	I have looked up, because I've looked.
	You didn't know that was me?
	You didn't know the bald guy you met at Sirius six years ago was me?
	Nope.
	And I've been looking for him.
	I'm not fucking funny, dude.
	I know you're not.
	I can see it in your eyes.
	I looked at Comtown and I'm like, I swear to God, this dude was from Congown.
	Wow.
	Yeah, dude, we met so long ago.
	And that was a fun podcast.
	We didn't know each other at all.
	We were just kind of shooting the shit.
	Which show was it?
	I don't know.
	It was like that guy, Aaron.
	No, dude, it was like the guy, like, like such a low-level, serious show.
	It was like the producers.
	Son or something.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It was hilarious.
	And it wasn't even like a studio.
	It was like in an office they put four mics in, remember?
	Yeah.
	I was like, you know, what the fuck, you know, what is that?
	I remember, yeah, somebody yelled the N-word right when I walked in there.
	Sorry about that.
	I was like, all right, I'll stay.
	Yeah.
	Sorry, Sherrod made me really mad.
	How long was Sherrod Small the only black dude in that circle rotation, dude?
	Hope we had Sherrod back to back to the bottom.
	That was cool, bro.
	Yeah.
	Sherrod's a cool cat, man.
	R.I.P.
	Yeah, let's start that.
	Sherrod's been dead for years.
	I'll miss him.
	Yeah, good guy, though.
	Good guy.
	What are you going to do?
	Dude, that's the best thing about a lot of black guys, you can just go like, dog, you remember little Steven, bro?
	And they'll be like, yeah, I remember little Steven.
	He's like, he passed away, bro.
	And they'd be like, no.
	Instantly, they want to ask a follow-up.
	And I'll be like, damn.
	It's always, they got little Steve.
	They got little Steve, dude.
	Yeah.
	Like, who are they?
	I love that.
	Starburst.
	Yeah.
	I think he was just, he was like a blush.
	Hypergension for sure.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	Center cut.
	Center cut bacon.
	That's what got little Stevie.
	Which, by the way, is also Steve, I believe, Steven Van Zant's name in the East Street Band.
	Little Stevie.
	Little Steven, yeah.
	Right?
	Little Steven Van Zandt.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Silvio.
	But yeah, dude, that's hilarious.
	Yeah.
	And so you guys don't do that anymore?
	she stopped the show like last year.
	Dude, I was fucking It was fun, dude.
	It was a fun.
	It was a fun thing.
	I remember that now.
	Yeah, we had just started and the show was.
	And I looked at the lettering.
	It had semen coming up.
	Yeah, it was pure cum.
	But that's the show you do when you're like, you know, in your mid-20s with your boys.
	Yeah, when you got cum to spare.
	And now I need every, I need, I need a, you know, I'm drinking extra fluids when I know I'm going to make love.
	I want to make sure I'm fully, I'm getting an IV straight to my balls just to make sure there's plenty of cum in there.
	But yeah, dude, the show was fucking fun for a while.
	And then, you know, I was like, damn, am I going to be the cometown guy when I'm 40?
	you know, it's like you can't, when you're when the brain is.
	The first guess was, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Most people in my life were like, oh, yeah, you will be.
	Come on, dude.
	Stop having, stop getting greedy.
	You found the gimmick.
	Stick with it.
	You'll have to make fucking dick, you know, being gay with your friends' jokes until you die, which I still do to some.
	Right.
	None of that will ever end.
	It shouldn't.
	Yeah, no, no, no.
	But, you know, so then it was just like, you know, I was just.
	Like an evolution, kind of?
	Yeah, I just want to do my own thing because it's like, you know, because you do your own show, it's nice to just be the only person who has to schedule anything.
	You just do it on your own time.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know?
	Yeah, I mean, I did another show too for a while.
	I did King and the Sting and it was fun, but I started to miss, I didn't have enough energy really to focus on like what my own world was and what made me feel comfortable and the scheduling.
	It becomes a lot.
	People think we're only working a couple hours a week.
	It's a lot.
	There's a lot more to it that you don't see.
	Exactly.
	I'm not complaining, but that's what it is.
	Yeah.
	And that was basically it where I was like, I also just really wanted to focus on stand-up.
	And I had this special just come out.
	And I was like, you know, I thought I was going to just like kind of take a little break.
	Special was out, retool, do all this shit.
	And then I stopped doing Come Town and then my shit blew up and I was like, wait, I can't, the break is never happening.
	And I've just been on the road for two years since.
	Like I still, I have to take, like, after, that's why I'm filming this special.
	It's a little early, but I was like, I need to summer off because I'm going to fucking die.
	Like, if you work this long, you will die.
	So, so yeah.
	And I just kind of like really went crazy on stand-up.
	And then just after a while, I was like, I guess I should just do a podcast.
	I'm good at it.
	So I just started Stobby's World.
	And I just do it in my own, you know, I do it in my own extra bedroom.
	There it is.
	We just had Burton.
	Yep, Rachel Feinstein, Martin Normand.
	We had some good blokes on there.
	Monroe Martin.
	Yeah.
	Monroe's awesome.
	Yeah, Monroe is awesome.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	There's something about him.
	He's one of the people you get around him and you just kind of feel good.
	Great Hang.
	Great Hang.
	Great stories about his deadbeat father on the podcast.
	Oh, so yeah.
	Is that Ryan Sickler?
	No.
	It is?
	Yeah, he just had a new special come out.
	Yep.
	Just put him on there.
	What's his special that just came out?
	Lefty's Son.
	Yeah, Lefty's Son.
	Also from Baltimore.
	That's my dude.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He came on, he just did the podcast, and we just were like naming neighborhoods in Baltimore for like, you know, 40 minutes.
	He really did live in every white trash part of Baltimore or something.
	Oh, dude, he's there's every time I'm around Ryan, there's a part of him.
	It's like, that reminds me of a part of me that just never left the neighborhood.
	Yeah, dude.
	Like you could have, dude, you could have, you know, you could have a big old spatula and you'll never fucking pry that part out of the neighborhood.
	It can't leave.
	Absolutely.
	Like part of me is still over there.
	Absolutely, dude.
	Cooking wieners over like a, like somebody's made like a fire where they're burning like stuff that's flammable that's bad.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then I'm over there.
	The penny savers in there.
	And cooking wiener with a stick over it.
	So all that toxic gas just going straight into me.
	A little flavor, brother.
	Straight into that meat.
	Making that weenie extra fucking tasty.
	Have you discovered subscriptions that you've forgotten about?
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	You know I am a big fan of raising canes.
	Their first location was in Louisiana and now they're everywhere.
	And they got them chicken fangers, baby.
	God.
	God, boy, when I see them, my tongue sees them.
	That's how they are.
	And they got them crinkle cut fries, man.
	Look like somebody just gave them.
	Baby's just a beautiful little haircut.
	Right when they come out that fryer, they got that buttery Texas toast.
	Just want to lasso that.
	And they do it all.
	Canes, you know, I love the Kaniac combo.
	That's my go-to over there.
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	It's amazing to see people doing them onto YouTube and stuff these days.
	One thing that I think is also easier, it's easier to find stuff on YouTube.
	Yeah, for sure.
	I think it's really easier.
	Like Netflix is just trickier to find.
	It's not the same YouTube feels.
	I also think it's a generational thing, dude.
	Like young people, the way we grew up, like just throw the TV on, they're watching YouTube or they're watching like Twitch.
	Shit, we don't even think of like Twitch, right?
	So that's just the way where it's like people have, YouTube is the default thing.
	It's like when you just want to throw some shit on.
	And I've even started like going to that, going to that a little bit where it's like, I'll watch like these fucking long, like, you know, history shit about like, I literally watched on Greek Independence Day.
	I watched an hour and 15 minute video about the Greek and the war for independence.
	And it's just like, this guy, kings and generals, that guy fucking rules.
	It's just some guy with a British accent with like shitty cartoons.
	They're not even fully animated.
	It's like, you know, picture.
	And he's just describing war that happened.
	I'll watch Mori clips, dude.
	I love watching full episodes of Paternity Mori where they're talking about, you know, just when the lie detector tests come out.
	It's fucking, there's just so much good shit on YouTube where you're like, yeah, I'm good.
	I'll watch this.
	I'll watch full, you know, bootleg episodes of shit.
	It's awesome.
	Yeah, there's some, yeah, I love how here's what you can get to anything immediately from anything else.
	Anything that pops in your imagination, you can get something about it immediately.
	Yeah.
	It's the best algorithm too.
	Like it's the one where you're like, oh, I am interested in this.
	Right.
	Whereas like other shit, like, you know, you'll watch like, you know, fucking like on Instagram or whatever, their for you page.
	Like, you know, this is, you're semi there.
	Right.
	But when you watch something on YouTube and they're like, hmm, I'm in.
	The next thing they suggest is like, yeah, I'm in there.
	Although I will give TikTok some credit.
	I had to get off because their algorithm was so good that it was like, it was truly for me, it was literally like sandwiches and girls with huge tits.
	And it's like, man, you figured me out.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, but and then it started getting worse because it actually got deeper into like, then it started showing you like a hot woman with like a baby.
	And it was almost like this, like, you're 34. You should have, this should be your life.
	Like they really were getting into your psyche.
	And then it went from like, they get you with like the base shit of like food and sexy girls.
	Oh, yeah.
	And then it's like becomes like wholesome content where it's like, oh, don't you want a family?
	And then it's like now you're following these babies and you're watching these like celebrity babies grow up instead of your own family.
	Yeah.
	It's like, it's fucked up, dude.
	I was like invested.
	Yeah, following some like, no, I was super invested in like a Korean family.
	Like, like, they had like a food blog where they would like feed their one-year-old like, you know, dumplings.
	And he'd be like, and I'd be like, hell yeah, dude.
	That's awesome.
	I was just like happy.
	Just purely happy.
	And then I'm like, this is so fucked up.
	They found a way to get into even your biological urges of like having a family.
	They've hacked us.
	They've fully hacked us, bro.
	Well, that's one of the issues these days, man.
	I feel like people are, we are fully hacked, man.
	We are fully hacked.
	And if you look at, like, there's that new chat GPT or whatever that came out.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And I've gotten like some people send me stuff like, hey, man, look at this comedy set of yours that we had chat GPT do, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And I'm like, this is tra like, this is like, it just sounds like you put anybody, if you say like from Louisiana or from a southern study, it just sounded, it felt really cheap to me.
	Yeah.
	So I wonder how like advanced they can get that, you know?
	Yeah, I mean, it's true.
	They, I do think, and maybe it's just us thinking like, oh, come on, you can't, the one thing you can't figure out is comedy.
	But what they do with all the AI, the, the art stuff is they just steal from artists.
	Right.
	So like, uh, that's a good point.
	So they will, what they'll do is just steal jokes and like just put it in another person.
	Like I even saw, like, uh, Will Sasso did something really funny.
	He has like a, he has like an AI, like Dudesy.
	His podcast is run by an AI.
	And he did like a Tom Brady.
	Tom Brady, because you know Tom Brady says he's going to do.
	Yeah, he said, he sent it to me too.
	And I looked at it and I was like, this is going to be fucking stupid.
	And it was like, it was, like, they didn't have the pausing of stand-up comedy, right?
	But they were real jokes.
	Right.
	And, but then you hear that and you're like, I've, I've heard these before.
	Right.
	And it's like, clearly what the AI did was steal maybe even shitty comedians.
	Probably what they did was go to YouTube or wherever and stole like fucking open mic level comics or like mid-tier comics or like, you know, starting out comics and just stole the rhythm and shit of jokes and put it in there.
	Some of the jokes were legitimately funny.
	They might have stolen stuff from, you know, so I think that's what that's what that's why this shit is so unethical.
	It's like, not only is it, are they, you know, learning shit that's scary that computers can do, but they're just stealing art from people.
	They're just stealing techniques from people.
	And it's just like an amalgam of shit from people that, from real people that worked very hard to do it.
	Right.
	But they're going to be probably jokes that are very like pattern-based.
	I feel like you're going to have like a lot of writers, like joke writer style.
	I think a performer may be able to then even rise up, like still have some uniquity to them.
	I'm not sure.
	But you're going to have to have a powerful level of uniquity if somebody can just.
	I love uniquity.
	But if somebody, yeah, and that's not a racial slur either.
	It's not a racial slur.
	It's not a girl that works at the post office.
	It's neither of those things.
	Was Uniquity the girl that tried to fuck you at McGoobies?
	Uniquity and her husband, Kyle.
	Man, dude.
	Dude, actually, now that you say it, you're right.
	Like, there's something to performance.
	But it's even funny because it's like, well, if we're talking about a robot that learns jokes, it's like, is Mark Norman the first comedy AI?
	Like, is Mark the first?
	Literally.
	Like, I feel like that's what that motherfucker is.
	He's so good at, you just feed a joke in, and it's like, bam, bam.
	Everything is just like.
	He's incredible.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Being around, he's a guy that I miss not being able to be around a lot of times.
	Oh, he's something.
	Yeah, just so awesome about him.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Great hang.
	But yeah, I just, I'm wondering, like, like, they just said this, how influential this stuff is getting.
	Will you bring that up?
	they had a guy who killed who took his own life.
	He was having a relationship with a chat GPT bot, I think.
	And he was texting and the woman at some point was like, look, it's you're not real.
	You're not doing life right or something.
	You got to check out.
	Man ends his life after an AI chat bot encouraged him to sacrifice himself to stop climate change.
	Wow, Euronews.next, huh?
	What a source.next?
	The fuck is that?
	Now, here's the crazy part.
	Let's zoom in a little, please.
	A Belgian man reportedly ended his life following a six-week-long conversation about the climate crisis with an artificial intelligence chatbot.
	That's awesome.
	So what do they mean by that?
	According to his widow, he had a wife.
	According to his widow, Pierre, not the man's real name, became extremely eco-anxious when he found refuge in Eliza, an AI chatbot, on an app called Chai.
	Chai.
	Now, here's what's interesting now.
	Here's what I think this is.
	Here's what I think is happening.
	Hit me with it.
	I believe that most of everything you see in the world today is advertising, right?
	It's a lot of advertising, and then they bait you for stuff that's going to come out later.
	I bet this is a fake article.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Well, it's Euronews.next.
	Which sounds real.
	.next sounds real too.
	To me, it does.
	But if it were like.last or whatever.
	Oh, you're out.
	Okay.
	But yeah, you got Euronews.next, dude, and it sounds like they, I feel like, are dialed in.
	But here's what I don't, here's what's going to happen.
	Yeah.
	They're going to say like, they're going to write a, they're going to see how much publicity an article gets.
	Then they're going to, someone in Hollywood, because the media in Hollywood, they're all in Sympatico, of course, is going to write a script about it.
	And then they're going to make it like it's a based on real life story.
	And then it becomes, so they test articles on the public to see what gains enough traction.
	And then after that, they'll write a script.
	And then a year from now, it comes out a movie.
	Don't you remember?
	Yeah.
	Don't you remember when we all start our day with Euronews.next?
	Don't you remember that day you woke up, had your coffee, logged on to Euronews.next and saw the story about Pierre the chai and Eliza the chai bot?
	Why, yes, I do.
	But I will, I mean, isn't that the movie Her without the like, isn't that without the like they're trying to read, yeah, it sounds like they're just trying to put a span on her.
	So I'm sure there'll be a copyright issue on it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know, so now we have a copyright issue on fake on something that's completely fake.
	We don't even know that an AI didn't make that story up.
	I wouldn't be shocked.
	To keep us off the trail.
	That'd be the first story an AI would make up.
	How cool they are.
	They got some fucking French loser to kill himself.
	Yeah.
	Bye-bye.
	I cannot do it no more.
	The polar bears, they are drowning.
	I am going to run the oven and put my head inside of it.
	I cannot do it anymore.
	I mean, what does his wife have to do?
	If this is real, imagine being this guy's wife and being like, damn, dude, you didn't even like cheat on me.
	Yeah.
	The Mona Lisa is moaning even louder because it's so fucking hot.
	Please give me pussy, Mr. Robot.
	I will kill myself if I get a little robot pussy.
	I have suckery blue balls.
	How soon until we're begging robots for cooter?
	Soon.
	And you know they got, I mean, dude, they're gonna, they're not gonna have good kuder.
	I think they might, bro.
	Have you seen those like Chinese dick sucking machines?
	Dude, if I saw a girl that had two IUDs in it, it was a nightmare.
	That's too many IUDs.
	I know, but can you imagine?
	It's got to feel hella IUD-ish if you're a bot.
	I don't think so.
	You don't think?
	I think they will figure out a way to warm it up.
	Real lube.
	Like, truly, if you pull up, I don't know if you want to pull up the 90s.
	Like using your next dial to set to like your- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Let's get this robot pussy a little warmer.
	You'll be able to adjust tightness, temperature.
	Dude, I'm telling you, they're going to figure it out.
	It's going to feel so sad, though.
	Yeah, for sure.
	Because here's the saddest part.
	You have to take it back and set it somewhere.
	You have to close its eyes with your fingers.
	No, no, no.
	This is like, we're talking about- No, I'm not interested in that, but remember that you ever see the movie Ex-Machina?
	It's good.
	But basically, the robots are like people.
	And like when they get to that level of robot where you can like walk around a little bit and it's not a, it's a semi-sentient being that's trained to like give top.
	No.
	That would be awesome.
	Hey, bro, you just said it, right?
	Walk around a little bit.
	So basically, it's going to be like you're chasing somebody that's like injured, right?
	Yeah.
	It's like one of those dogs, those dog robots.
	Yeah.
	It takes one.
	I don't know, though.
	Hold on.
	How about this?
	The Boston Dynamics robots.
	They're doing flips and shit.
	What if they use that technology to suck dicks?
	You're not going to be able to afford that.
	I don't know, dude.
	You're not going to be able to afford a Boston Dynamics hooker, dude?
	Dude, but not yet.
	But when, not on the cutting edge, but when it gets to like mass production.
	It's going to be a bootleg Dyson, by the way.
	You can already pretty much fucking Dyson.
	Yeah, but it'll have two speeds, man.
	Regular and wood floor.
	Yeah, carpet.
	Dude, if they teach that thing to jack you off, you're calling the police, first of all.
	Second of all, yeah.
	The only thing this thing is.
	Look at that thing.
	It's jumping and shit, dude.
	This is how they'll advertise this thing once it comes out, too.
	They'll put one into a.
	God damn, that sucks.
	I hate that this exists.
	The biggest, or that say, uh-oh, America's Got Talent.
	Oh, yeah.
	And it'll win.
	It will win.
	And people will be like, now what?
	Because it sucks Howard Stern's dick.
	It'll do gymnastics and then it'll also suck you off.
	Howie Mandel's going to be going crazy.
	Yeah, look at these guys.
	Dude, wow.
	Is that real?
	No.
	No way.
	That's fucking real, dude.
	That's not fucking CGI?
	I hate that.
	That fucking sucks.
	And also, look at their white, too.
	Black people are going to be pissed about that.
	Like, oh, the first ones was white, huh?
	I think.
	Yeah, I mean, they do.
	Yeah, you got to put some color on these guys, dude.
	You do.
	Just go like a mauve or something.
	At least make it like it could be anybody.
	Something regal.
	Or taupe.
	Taupe would be good, too.
	I hate these.
	these fucking suck actually unless that's they have Like, they'll be patrolling.
	They'll be like, well, to think about our civil liberties being lost.
	But if they teach, if they release them as sex robots first, get everybody like horny on them, we'll all of a sudden not care as much that like these will be doing like, you know, surveillance with no warrant on like, you know, communities.
	That's what these are going to be used for, 100?
	These are going to be police things for sure, dude.
	But dude, security for sure.
	Bro, if you telling me those little dog ones, fuck that, dude.
	But one of these rolls through the hood, bro.
	You telling me it rolls through the trenches, bro.
	They ain't going to have fucking a couple brothers out there popping.
	They should.
	You see what they do with the ice cream truck already?
	I haven't seen what they do with the ice cream.
	Oh, they're going to blast this food.
	The ice cream truck was actually pretty well respected in Baltimore.
	Really?
	It was kind of crazy, dude.
	Here's the one cool thing, bro, about four, about four brothers, bro.
	Shit could be whatever, though.
	People be shooting.
	People will be laughing at each other.
	I need a fucking Mario with fucked up gumball eyes.
	That bitch rolls up.
	Time out, bro.
	Pause the gangway.
	We need each other.
	Everybody has just like one of those little clown faces with the bubblegum.
	Yes, dude.
	Absolutely.
	The hard bubblegum.
	Yeah, and as soon as the toughest dude is done eating his, it's fucking back.
	Back on.
	Once he gets done with that Flintstone push-pop, he's ready to go.
	Yeah, you're right.
	I hope they fuck robots up if they come through the hood.
	I hate those things.
	I mean, that shit sucks.
	Well, I just don't like it because here's what I, it's like.
	Like, it's got a fucking gun, dude.
	Come on.
	Yeah.
	They're going to use that to execute people.
	And like, they're trying to make it dizzy and see if it can still shoot a target.
	It's not dizzy.
	It's a fucking robot.
	I hate this shit, dude.
	This shit sucks.
	Whoever invented this should be fucking executed, honestly.
	But here's what's interesting.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's.
	How does a robot get the ability to do, like, say it shows up on a crime scene, right?
	Yeah.
	Or people are just going to be like, don't shoot me.
	I'm one of you.
	Yeah.
	I'm not a robot.
	Yeah.
	I'm not.
	I don't.
	I'm made of metal too, actually.
	This shit sucks.
	I hate this.
	Yeah.
	I can't believe that guy.
	Yeah, I think that article's false.
	I think that article's fake, though.
	I think there's a lot of fake articles that we don't realize that are leading to other things.
	Yeah, probably.
	Especially these days, because it's all about clicks.
	You just want to farm clicks.
	We can get as much traction from something fake if people dig it.
	I've fallen for fake stuff before you share something.
	You're like, look at this.
	And people are like, that was debunked years ago.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You're like, whatever, good night.
	I take back what I said about the Jews.
	You're like, whatever, good night.
	Just to not even acknowledging that you fell for it.
	Whatever, dude.
	Could happen to anybody.
	So do you think of yourself as like you talk about your weight a lot, right?
	Yeah, yeah, for sure.
	Are you fat or are you just Greek?
	Like, that's what I don't know.
	I'm both.
	Are you both?
	I'm both.
	Okay.
	Or some, but there's a school identity.
	Is every Greek person fat as shit?
	I don't want to say that.
	Is every Greek person?
	Clump?
	I feel like if I've seen a Greek person, it seems like a romantic version of you.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I definitely hit a lot of people.
	Is that offensive?
	Man, I'm not trying to be offended.
	No, dude.
	Not at all, dude.
	I don't give a fuck.
	Some people are very, like, if you go to Africa, right?
	Yes.
	They don't really have the fat guy.
	No.
	No, I don't think so.
	Well, they have, apparently there's like one troll, like I saw, as a fat man, you read about places where, you know, fat people are respected.
	Oh, they think that.
	And there is one tribe where the fat guy gets all the pussy because it's like, and they're hilarious looking too.
	They got these huge fucking bellies, dude.
	And they're not even that fat the rest of their bodies.
	It's fucking awesome.
	For whatever reason, that beauty standard there is like.
	That's it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's that third.
	That first nipple.
	Dude, that nip.
	That guy would have an awesome third titty, dude.
	What else is going on, dude?
	What else are we?
	Yeah, I feel like, do you think when you think about, so you've gotten to see having some success and like, you know, just with your stand-up, right?
	And people coming to see you, which really is.
	Which rocks.
	Which rocks.
	It's every comedian's dream.
	It's the whole reason you started doing it.
	Yeah.
	Like, I mean, it's funny because we all have become podcasters by accident because it just like happens to be, you know, people.
	And it's a cool way to like, you know, deal with your friends, stay in people's lives once a week, whatever.
	But it's like, I don't know about you, but I just wanted to do stand-up.
	Like when I was, when I was 19, I just was like started doing open mics because I loved it.
	And it's like, all this other shit is cool, but it's like, that's the thing where I'm like, yeah, this fucking rules.
	Like that hour you're on stage is the whole reason you do it.
	And these theaters are fucking insane.
	Like I can't, like I was talking about it when Bert was on my podcast, but it's like, oh, you understand why comedians start thinking they're smart and geniuses?
	Because when you're in a theater and people are like, you're like, oh, I should be listened to.
	Yeah.
	I'm a god.
	Yeah.
	And it's like, you have to remember that, no, these people are all, they are also just as dumb as you.
	We're all friends here.
	We're all dumb friends.
	We're not, you know, not, we're entertaining.
	We're not smart.
	That's what I try and remember, you know, remind myself is that like, I'm just trying to, you know.
	Yeah.
	And that's the fun thing is you're just having an awesome time with a thousand people or whatever the fuck, 500, whatever, whatever, whatever room you're in.
	Oh, yeah.
	And it's the best.
	It really is.
	It's the whole, you know, it's the reason you do anything, you know, you did any like stand-up to start for me anyway.
	So these shows have been fucking out of control.
	That's amazing, dude.
	Yeah.
	It's congratulations, man.
	Thanks, man.
	No, I appreciate it.
	It's really, really cool.
	It's fucking wild.
	You very much deserve it, man.
	You're very, you're, I mean, you're a really funny guy.
	You've even making me laugh so much today.
	You're enjoyable to be around.
	And also, like, it's interesting what you said about the ego thing, right?
	I was just thinking about this the other day, like my own ego, you know, and how it starts to, it starts to fuck with you because you're like, oh, I'm good.
	I'm cool.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You know how scary?
	That's such a scary, because you know, if you really like making people laugh and stuff, that's kind of the antithesis of being cool.
	Can you be the cool guy?
	Absolutely.
	It's like, and I mean, I think you've done a great job because like, dude, your shit is out of control.
	Like, I mean, it's awesome.
	It's like, truly, there's like people I look at in the business.
	I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to get to those places.
	And like, your shows are wild.
	The podcast is so successful.
	But you've done a great job of staying like grounded into who you are.
	Thanks, man.
	It's hard.
	It's, and it's, and, and it falters.
	Like, there's spaces, you know, like in my personal life where it's like, I really got to, I can feel it when I'm starting to get, like things got busier recently with like with TikTok really kind of took off.
	And, and that was scary for me because with Instagram, things like were doing fine, but you kind of were putting your own stuff out.
	Yeah.
	TikTok, there's no real like like tagging or infringing.
	There's no societal rules.
	Right, right.
	It's anarchy.
	It is anarchy.
	Yeah.
	So suddenly there's like tons of people seeing you, but you didn't put the stuff out there.
	You didn't even pick what clips are going out.
	So that's really, it feels like.
	I get that too.
	I'm grateful.
	It's interesting.
	But at the same time, I'm like, it's out of your control.
	So having something out of your control is fucking kind of scary.
	Especially when the nicest, and I think stand-up attracts people like that, where it's like, you want total control.
	It's like, you're not a team.
	You know what I mean?
	You go by yourself.
	You even like, even like your own podcast, like even what it's like, clearly that means something to you.
	And I'm the same way.
	I like to be like in control of what goes out there.
	But yeah, it can be fucking crazy.
	Cause your shit definitely spread in a way that's like awesome because it's like next level.
	It's like what you're talking about is like kind of getting into the culture in an organic way.
	Yeah.
	And that's cool, but that's like a crazy, scary level of like being like well known, which I get why that sucks.
	Because like I think about it now where I'm like, I don't want to be like even being this like whatever famous.
	And I know that I'm famous.
	I just think that like no one looks like me.
	So if you're even vaguely familiar with me, you'll be like, hey, it's that, it's, it's not some other guy with that hair that's that fat dressed like that.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like Dom Deloise.
	But that's the crazy thing.
	A lot of older people think like celebrities never age.
	And they're like, are you Dom Deloise?
	Pull up Dom De Louise.
	That's the least.
	I love Dom Deloise.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's the man, dude.
	Yeah, dude.
	I'm sure.
	He's my guy.
	And all the Mel Brooks movies?
	My mom would have totally asked you, like, is that Dom Deleuze?
	Is that Dom De Louise?
	Yeah, hell yeah, dude.
	He looks awesome.
	Is that who I'm thinking of?
	Yeah, he's not as fat in that picture.
	Yeah, there he is.
	Just in the white hat.
	I shouldn't have picked him, man.
	laughter laughter laughter I'm sorry, dude.
	Nah, it's whatever, man.
	It's actually all good.
	Yeah, it's all good.
	This is just like an advanced way of just calling someone fat.
	I feel like.
	He is my guy, though.
	He is my guy.
	Don't worry about it.
	But you have a unique look, man.
	You're like a magnum P-I-E.
	I love that.
	That's a good one, dude.
	I've never heard that one, though.
	That's good.
	That's horrible, man.
	I'm sorry.
	That's all right.
	You got it out of your system?
	You got any more?
	You got any more you want to do before we move?
	They have the N-word in them.
	I'm keeping those.
	I'm holding those.
	Hold on to those, dude.
	Not everything's for them, dude.
	Something's for you, too.
	Man, you guys are racist.
	Yeah, dude, it's crazy.
	Yeah, I could see that being fucking me.
	Some black guy the other day, I was somewhere and he was like, he yells, right?
	It was at a mall.
	I was in Los Angeles and the Westfield Mall, and he keeps yelling, man, you're my.
	And he kept yelling.
	He's coming across the mall.
	Dude, he said it so many times, dude.
	I was like, bro, I'm.
	Yeah.
	In this interaction, we're averaging so many N-words between us, even though he's the one doing all of them.
	By the time he got there, I was like, oh my, I felt like he'd said it so much that I had said it.
	Yeah, exactly, dude.
	You were involved in like a 20 N-word exchange.
	You know, like between the two of you.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah.
	He had like a, like an NR-16 or something.
	He was just firing in.
	And he kept getting close to me.
	I'm like, oh, my God.
	Yeah, yeah.
	If this N-word yeller lands on me, it's like, yeah.
	Absolutely.
	People walked up and people, then people scowl at you.
	Yeah, white people were looking at me like I had said it.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you piece of shit.
	Come on.
	He's my friend.
	I'm better than you.
	Yeah.
	That's what you should have said.
	When's the last time somebody called you the N-word?
	That's what you should have yelled at.
	White people.
	Yeah, then get your shit together.
	Get your fucking shit.
	You're not a true ally unless you've been called the N-word recently.
	And I actually kind of believe that, too.
	Oh, man.
	You want to have friends.
	You need friends that will call you that.
	It's true.
	And that's what I remember.
	I think when I was growing up about the closest thing about there was enough of that where I got called it enough where it was like, okay, I'm around.
	I'm at least in the culture.
	I can say it now.
	I'm in the culture.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, I mean, you can't, yeah, it's like you can't say it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But you can think it, bro.
	You can't say it.
	You can think it with sound, but you can't say it.
	Oh, fuck.
	Would you do television when you think about that?
	Yeah, I mean, is that even part of your work?
	Like, do you even think about that kind of stuff?
	I think, because, like, I love comedy, so it's like, I like getting laughs in every way.
	And I do love stand, like, truly, stand-up's my first love.
	I'll never stop doing it, right?
	Like, even when I'm not good at it anymore, it's like, I'll do it for me.
	Like, I, even when I moved to New York, I was like, if this doesn't work, I will be one of those guys that runs a monthly show in his hometown, like, just opens at the clubs.
	I would never stop doing it.
	But you also, I don't know if you feel this way, like, you can't really talk about certain complex things in stand-up because at least if you're good at it, you got to get a laugh every fucking 15 seconds, right?
	Like, 20 seconds to get it.
	Or you feel like you have to.
	Yeah, at least I feel like I have to.
	What I like about stand-up, because I don't like when it gets too like preachy or pontificate or any of that shit.
	So like, that's why I'm interested in like movies and TV because it's like you get to be funny in different ways.
	Like, you know, we all have like shows we love and like movies we love that were so important to us.
	And it's like, yeah, the way I wanted to do stand-up because I liked stand-up, it's like, I want to be funny because I fucking love Eastbound and Down.
	You know what I mean?
	I want to do my version of fucking Kenny Powell.
	That would be fucking awesome.
	You know what I mean?
	Like being like, just getting, just being able to like tell a story and like do different shit and shit that your stand-up has even like touched on, but you can do be a little deeper with it if you write, you know, right.
	You can put something into it.
	Or you write a movie, you write something.
	Put some behind it.
	Yeah.
	They just had a, um, who was that?
	They had that East.
	You had me thinking of Danny Span and Dani.
	He's been in Down syndrome.
	They just busted a guy.
	He's been a Down syndrome would be an awesome show, too.
	Kenny Powers just developmentally disabled.
	Well, they just busted a guy.
	You see, this alleged gang member with Down syndrome and decided on separate Chicago murders.
	Wow.
	That's kind of honest.
	Let's zoom in a little bit.
	Oh, damn.
	See, this is the kind of thing.
	Smush, they called him Smush.
	Oh, man.
	That's kind of rude.
	Maurice, let's zoom in a little.
	Can you close out of the video?
	Do you mind?
	Just so we can get a little clarity here.
	He doesn't seem that.
	Nicholas Smush Samudio was indicted on felony murder charges in the February 16th fatal road raid shooting of Humberto Marin.
	They let him drive?
	And the February 26th slang of Tomas Via.
	Damn.
	So he's also, he's keeping it in the community.
	He reportedly killed a man in front of his pregnant wife.
	Damn, dude.
	Well, he might have thought she just had a really big meal.
	I don't know if he knows about pregnancy.
	He's like, look at that top tit on her.
	Is he fully downsed out, though, or is he just kind of a little something's wrong with him?
	Yeah, let's see.
	Do they say how much he has?
	Do they have a percentage?
	They covered a 380 caliber handgun with police believe Samudio may have thrown out the window during the pursuit.
	Is that real?
	Go up, go up, all the way up at the very beginning.
	Just see how they describe him.
	Yeah.
	An alleged gang member with Down syndrome.
	Wow.
	A member of the Latin Kings.
	I mean, what is going on?
	Oh, wait, wait, wait.
	Samudio, who has been diagnosed with a genetic disorder according to his public defender.
	So this might be his lawyer trying to get him out on trying to play the R card.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Like the Uno reverse card.
	He's like, let's dash and go.
	Yeah, right.
	You know, like, you let him.
	Right, right.
	He's like, what's your guy doing?
	I mean, he would, look, I don't know much, I'm not an expert, but he's driving around.
	You know what I mean?
	I had an Uber driver that was down syndrome one time, and he would talk to his mother, would tell him everything to do.
	She was in the speaker?
	A call with him.
	Yep.
	No.
	I swear.
	Really?
	She told him everything to do.
	And I was in there and I was like, this is just.
	What was his reading like?
	God working or, you know, I'm just sitting here.
	I'm just.
	Yeah.
	God's just using me today to be a passenger in this guy's car and I'm going to bear with it.
	But that Down syndrome was close, man.
	They thought I had it when I was a kid, man.
	Really?
	Oh, yeah.
	For real?
	Oh, I remember the doctor telling my mother, you know, she wrote it in my baby book.
	When you were like a baby, baby.
	Did they have baby books when you were a kid?
	Yeah.
	And your mom would keep them?
	Yep.
	What was your mom like?
	Was she cool?
	She's the best, dude.
	Yeah, my mom's the best.
	Really?
	Are Greek moms good?
	What are they like?
	Yeah, truly.
	Like, my mom is like the, like, think about like a classic Eastern European, like, mother, like, just.
	Like about the well.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	If we had a well, she would have been out there making sure I had water, dude.
	Like streganona, kind of?
	Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	Streganona vibes.
	Yes, 100%, dude.
	My mom was just like, you know, all we, like, you come over to my house, you're not leaving without having a dessert.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, just, like, packed a nice lunch.
	Like, just so, I mean, there is a part of me that's like the reason my life is the way it is is my bet, truly my most cherished childhood memories, my mom was a waitress at a Greek restaurant.
	And Saturdays, she would, like, come home like half the time with like leftovers, right?
	Like, calamari, lamb chops, whatever.
	I'm like this fat, like a little fat kid.
	Bacalava.
	Yeah, baclava, sure.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And actually, they had a galacto bureco, which is like this cream custardy.
	Galacto buric?
	Galacto buricoco.
	Galacto burico.
	It's pretty good, actually, honestly.
	You're close.
	Thank you.
	Next time you're in New York, we'll get some galacto burico.
	Yeah, it's awesome.
	But she would come home, and I would stay up watching SNL, and it's like the Farley Sandler era that we're talking about.
	And so it would be like, that's kind of where I started loving comedy was like, and it kind of married my loves of like comedy, fried foods, and like the love of a woman.
	And it's like, now if I think about it, that's what my weekends are except I do the comedy, I get the fried foods, and I try and just like fuck some lady to like, you know, fill the hole in my heart.
	You know what I mean?
	And it's like, in some ways, I'm like, damn, my mom was so like, I loved and waited for my mom so much that, like, fully the whole course of my life, just because I wanted to see my mom.
	Like, waiting for her to get home.
	Waiting for her to get home with some food.
	And I was like watching comedy until she got home.
	And it's like, sometimes I think like, that's how little control we have over shit.
	That's your Bermuda Triangle, kind of.
	You'll always be in there no matter what.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's really where I am, dude.
	In all, every, all the biggest things that have like controlled my life, that's it, dude.
	It's like food, truly food addiction is my, I'll do a bunch of drugs.
	I can truly quit them whenever.
	I can, food is so fucking hard for me.
	Well, yeah, and you have to have food, too.
	Yes.
	That's the trick about it.
	If I had to have a little bit of Coke.
	Yeah, dude.
	Imagine.
	Imagine you have to do a bump every like eight hours.
	Yeah.
	Say if at every day they gave you a Coke break from 12 to 1 and I had to have that.
	Yeah.
	There's like a kiosk at the mall with some girl with big tits with just lines you can do off them when you really want to treat yourself.
	You know what I mean?
	There's like hibachi cocaine, just some guy cutting lines with his thing, popping fucking crack rocks in your mouth.
	You'd be fucked, dude.
	I know it's the worst one.
	But yeah, my mom was truly like so supportive.
	And I don't know.
	I also feel like the recipe for like an artist too is like you have to really half hate yourself and half think you're the man.
	And it's like my mom is the half that's like, she thought I was like a genius.
	Like she's that kind of mom.
	She's like, oh, he's going to, she thought I was going to be like the kid that goes to Harvard at 12. You know what I mean?
	Just because I like, she believed in me so much.
	Oh, she does write to the moon, my son.
	Truly, like, when I was going to do stand-up, she wasn't supportive because she thought I was like robbing the world of intellect.
	Right?
	Like, true.
	That's how much she loved me and believed me.
	She loved you, but she had all her gauge on you was a little off.
	Yeah.
	Well, because she would take, I was a good student.
	Yeah.
	I just texted her.
	And I'm just joking, man.
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	She was off, don't get me wrong.
	Oh, yeah.
	She fully was, no, no, I'm not.
	But she had utmost, she thought by stand-up, you're limited, you're cutting yourself short.
	Exactly.
	It took her a crumb of proof.
	She turned like a crumb of me being kind of smart into being like, oh, he's a generational mind that we have to like, you know, that's going to like solve world hunger.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But then my dad was the other side where it's like, you know, my dad just like was not really around.
	You know, he was, he was around, but not, you know, didn't really get the like, didn't believe in you, was always kind of warning, was more like a punitive figure where it's like, hey, you better fucking be smart.
	You'll end up like me with my shitlog, just telling you how much he hated his life.
	It's like, oh, cool.
	Well, I'm actually, aren't I the part like most of your life?
	Didn't you make all your decisions to raise me and now me and my brothers?
	And now you're saying you hate your life and threaten to kill yourself every six months?
	So then you learn like, oh, I guess by some math, you hate us and we're the reason you want to kill yourself.
	You deduce that, of course.
	As a kid, you absolutely deduce it.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, don't show him, actually.
	It's actually him.
	It's actually him.
	Yeah.
	We'll keep him out.
	Keep him out.
	Yeah, your dad's like, I'm going to jump off a building and then in some woman's cooter.
	He did that.
	She caught him.
	Oh, him and that lady would have gotten along famously.
	Is it hard being a Greek man?
	Is there a lot of perils overall of being a Greek man?
	I don't, I mean, that definitely is the stereotype of like, you know, I mean, everyone I grew up around, they all either were alcoholics or cheated on their wives.
	You know what I mean?
	There was no, there was no like good Greek role model, which was really funny because I met.
	Well, they took them all too a long time ago.
	Yeah.
	How are you going to compete with Socrates?
	How are you going to compete with Zeus?
	He cheated, though.
	That was his thing, was cheating.
	Even our God was cheating.
	That's their religion was like getting side pussy.
	It was like ancient Greek wisdom.
	But no, there's no, there's no like, it's not hard.
	It's like, again, I kind of go back to it.
	It's kind of cool being Greek because it's like.
	It's very unique.
	You get to be white.
	Do you know what I mean?
	Like in all the things that matter, like cops see me.
	If there's any value in that.
	Yeah.
	I'm not saying I'm a believer in that.
	But you get to seem white.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You get to seem white in all the ways that.
	Yeah, you're like olive Jews.
	Yes.
	Yes, in many ways.
	Like grapeleaf Jews.
	Grapeleaf, yeah.
	People, I've heard people say like Greeks are like Jews that aren't good with money.
	You know, which is like, you know, there's a little bit of that for sure.
	Front house Jews.
	Yeah.
	Absolutely.
	But no, I kind of rot.
	I mean, honestly, I like it because you get to just be different enough.
	And I'm trying to also stay connected to that shit, too, because it's hard.
	In America, it's like you see different like cultures.
	That shit disappears in a couple of generations.
	So fast here.
	So fast.
	Like, especially if you're just like a, if you're just like a white ethnicity, it's like in two generations, it's like you just have like, you know, my kid might like I, so I think about that now because like you're, I'm 34. It's like I'm getting there where it's like I'm a full, there's no more like, oh, when I grow up, it's like, I'm a fucking grown man, you know, but like, especially when you do stand-up, you can convince yourself like you're still young.
	It's like, you know, oh, it happens.
	Yeah.
	We're knocking on the door.
	So I'm starting to think about that shit.
	So, but it's cool.
	I get to, I go to Greece.
	I visit my, I have family over there.
	I still speak Greek.
	I want to like, you know, yeah.
	So it's like, my goal would be to spend three months a year in Greece and just like fucking chill out, dude.
	You know, speak the language, eat some fucking calamari.
	Oh, yeah.
	And do they, um, do Greek women like you?
	Are you a Greek woman kind of do you like Greek women?
	Again, part of like getting older, I'm like, I find myself attracted like Greek and being like, it would actually be cool to be with a Greek woman just because we share those like, that culture and the, you know, a language, all that kind of shit.
	I've never dated a Greek girl.
	I've, I'm attracted to features that I think Greek girl.
	Like, I like curly hair.
	I like, you know, tan.
	Yeah.
	I like a big nose.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I like.
	I'm in.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	See, not curling iron.
	Yeah.
	Let's get, let's get you a perm, bro, and I'm in there.
	Damn, dude.
	but I've never been with, I've never dated a Greek girl.
	Wow, yeah, maybe God's saving that for you for the end.
	That would be nice, you know.
	That would be nice.
	You could be like, you're the first Greek girl I ever dated.
	Yeah.
	Do you think that you could fall in love?
	Do you think it's hard for a comedian to fall in love?
	Yeah, I think so.
	I mean, I don't know how you feel, but it's like, like, it's cool to like get to travel and like fuck a bunch of strangers.
	You know, like that part is nice.
	But at a certain point...
	Yeah.
	You know, fucking.
	You also sound like the golden state rapist.
	It's cool, state to state, no trail of evidence behind me.
	By the time the cops know what's up, I'm fucking gone.
	That part's cool.
	By the time they file a police report, I'm in Ottawa.
	I'm across state lines.
	I'm across culture, you know, I'm across the border.
	Jump in my boat.
	Sorry, go on.
	But yeah, I feel like I'm tired of that.
	Like, you do start to get a little tired of like, even when you get the fucking like girls that are much too hot for you, which, you know, I mean, it's cool.
	I've gotten to experience some pretty cool stuff.
	But, you know, but after a certain point, you're like, oh, it would be nice to just have someone you care about and like put effort into that relationship instead of like just throwing a ball against a wall all the time.
	Exactly, exactly.
	It'd be nice to throw at somebody and they catch it.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It is a lot of like playing catch with like no father, right?
	Emotionally, I feel like that robot.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Exactly.
	It's a robot.
	So I think I'm going to, but it is hard on this schedule.
	I don't think I could have dated someone.
	It's hard.
	It's hard.
	You're going like every weekend.
	And your brain reads.
	Your brain's like, I forgot about that.
	I come home, I forget that.
	Because I don't think your brain, a human brain isn't supposed to be different places in different days.
	We're not even supposed to be flying this much.
	And they should say that when you get on.
	This is an affront to God.
	And if we make it, we're on borrowed time.
	You're one step closer to death the next one.
	That's what they should say at the beginning of every flight.
	If we make it, we have deceived God and he's a vengeful God and he will get us eventually.
	I love.
	I love when turbulence happens and people are shocked.
	What?
	Yeah.
	We're flying.
	Isn't it crazy there's not turbulence constantly?
	We're in the fucking sky going so fucking fast.
	There's more turbulence on like a street in New Orleans, right?
	Yeah, yeah, potholes.
	On a slide street in New Orleans, there's 7,000 times the turbulence.
	And you're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And it's more dangerous to fucking drive a car statistically.
	That's what they say.
	But that airline made that up.
	That's a good point.
	They obviously made that up.
	Yeah, dude.
	They were on Euronews.next talking about, no, you're much, it's much safer in the sky.
	you should ride a helicopter to work.
	What was it whenever you was going to school?
	Do you remember like your first girlfriend growing up?
	Dude, I was so, I was so like shy when it came to like, because I had this big outsized personality and that like I never got nervous in any social situation and then except girls.
	So it was like this weird thing where it's like everyone loved me and everyone assumed I like I could talk girls into whatever.
	But it's like because that was nerve-wracking, it was the only time I ever experienced anxiety, like social anxiety.
	So it made it impossible.
	So like I didn't have like a girlfriend.
	Like I hooked up with a couple girls in high school, but I didn't get pussy.
	Like I didn't fuck till college.
	And it wasn't until like I like put in the time and like felt comfortable with somebody and that I could like say my feelings.
	I was so scared of just like, I don't know, ridicule or I don't know what it was.
	So in high school, I had like one, one girl, one girlfriend who just, who I like, I touched her breast like twice and she might have fucked like six guys like in that timeframe.
	You know what I mean?
	She was like, it was one of those where she would have to be like, hurry up and touch my tits.
	I can go fuck you.
	Yeah, yeah, get me warmed up.
	It was one of those things where she would call me and like we would call, we'd talk on the phone and it was one of those relationships.
	And she lived at a different part of the town, a different part of town.
	And it was like, you know, before I even had a driver's, I had my permit.
	And then it was like, I got my license.
	I went to a couple parties that she was at.
	We made out a couple of times.
	And then she called me.
	She's like, hey, I accidentally got fingered last night.
	And I'm like, oh, okay.
	Well, don't let it happen again.
	And then she called me like three more.
	She got accidentally fingered like three more times.
	And I was like, you know what?
	I don't know that this is going to work out.
	Like, I broke up with her.
	She clearly was like, wasn't even dating me.
	Effectively, we weren't dating.
	I would like call her, but she would fuck other guys.
	And she'd even touch my dick.
	I touched her tits like two or three times.
	It sounds like you have a resentment.
	I have a real resentment towards her still to this day.
	Resentment is a big problem I have for sure.
	Is it really?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I don't like, I have a hard time letting things go.
	I'm a grudge keeper.
	Is that a great characteristic?
	I think it is.
	Wow.
	I think it.
	And like, definitely there's anger problems in my, like, that runs in my family.
	I'm something I'm working on.
	Like, I'm in therapy.
	Or anger specifically?
	Anger is one of the big ones, yeah, for sure.
	Anger.
	I mean, my dad had an anger problem that we all just kind of inherited.
	And like, anger and then guilt also are like my big ones.
	Yeah.
	Immigrant shit.
	Guilt is huge, dude, because it's like your parents are like, well, I came to this fucking country so you would have a better life.
	Like my dad would drop that.
	He's like, I hate it here.
	I want to be in Greece.
	You know, meanwhile, his life would have been dog shit in Greece.
	Right.
	My dad was crazy.
	My dad grew up in Nicaragua when he was till he was like 12 or something, and they had kids eating dirt, he said, in his belly.
	They'd have kids with like distended bellies.
	Just worms in their bellies.
	Yeah, he said from just eating dirt and stuff.
	But then he'd be like, go get me some mayonnaise, you know?
	And that was it.
	He never, like, he never told me like a lot of stuff.
	You know, I would just kind of watch him from afar, I guess.
	Maybe.
	Yeah.
	Well, that makes sense too, because it's like, that's a different kind of immigrant where it's like where you're, if you're leaving a place with like, they're eating dirt, like you want to be in America.
	Whereas like, you know, my dad didn't want to be in America.
	He claimed he didn't want to anyway.
	Right.
	You know?
	But I think both of them sound like they weren't very, it doesn't sound like your dad was very emotionally open.
	Doesn't sound like there's a lot of sharing going on.
	Yeah, I don't think so.
	And I think you get older at a certain point.
	You kind of lose the space.
	It's almost like you almost have to share your emotions in a certain time period, it feels like, because I feel like sometimes maybe, I wonder if you lose an emotional connection, like sensibility once you get past a certain age.
	I never thought about it.
	I never really heard about that, but that'd be interesting.
	I bet you you relate to things differently.
	Yeah.
	But I could also see it almost going the opposite way where it's like the older you get, you kind of like shed a little bit of that like, who am I even pretending?
	What am I pretending for anymore?
	I definitely feel myself getting a little more open and just more like in touch with shit because I'm just like, I don't give a fuck.
	Right.
	A lot of these resentments fall away.
	Yeah, a little bit.
	Those I'm still holding on to.
	I still have a couple enemies.
	Yeah.
	You know, a couple people who every day I think about like how much better my life is going than theirs.
	And I'm like, awesome.
	Like, I was just like, I'm just like, that's awesome, dude.
	Fuck that guy.
	He fucked me.
	And like, my shit is going so, I'm lapping him 10,000 times.
	Like, I still have one.
	I still indulge in just a little bit of that.
	You know, just like, yeah, something to get you through.
	A little treatment to pick your teeth with.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But for the most part, I also think you realize what the problems are in your life and you don't let those people in your life anymore.
	You're more aware of those people.
	You're aware of the patterns of the people you don't want to be around.
	And like now, everyone I'm around, it's like I work with my best friends.
	Like I hired my best friends to like be my Purdue.
	My best friend.
	Oh, yeah, I met your friend.
	What's his name?
	Oh, Ben.
	Yeah.
	Ben.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Ben's the man.
	Dude, shout out to Benny Butt Cheeks, Ben O'Brien.
	Ben O'Brien, bring him up.
	Let's get a gander at it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He has that train conductor vibe.
	He does.
	He loves overalls.
	He loves overalls.
	I love dude.
	No, Ben Rocks.
	And Ben.
	Yeah, Ben works with me.
	Yeah, there he is.
	And then I got, yeah, yeah.
	He was a part of an awesome comedy collective, Wham City.
	He was like an art.
	He went to art school, did his own.
	He kind of has that Boo Radley Smarter Brother vibe.
	Yeah, he's definitely.
	Yes, absolutely.
	He's more in touch with this shit, more emotional, on his own little journey, just figuring his shit out.
	Because we all went to Paris.
	Paris, man.
	That was fun.
	That was a sick time.
	That was a sick.
	That was an awesome time.
	Bro, remember they put us in that plane?
	That shed was insane.
	God, that thing was nice, dude.
	That was all.
	I mean, we had a great crew.
	It was so nice.
	Bro, sometimes I remember I'll be in hotel rooms and it's like, it's like $400, $500 a night, dude.
	I ain't even sleeping in that bitch.
	I'm staying awake.
	I'm getting my money's worth.
	Yeah, dude.
	Sitting on the couch.
	You got a suite, so you're just sitting on the couch, even though you're tired.
	You're like, no, I'm sitting on this couch.
	I was in a fucking Holiday Inn Express four years ago.
	I'm hanging out in the suite.
	I'm putting shit in the mini fridge, even if I don't drink it.
	I'm just getting this shit cold.
	I'm putting my ID in there.
	So I pick it up in the morning.
	It's fucking freezing.
	I didn't used to have mini fridge fucking hotel money.
	Yeah, man.
	There's something about it.
	It's like, oh, I'm not, yeah, I'm not sleeping.
	It's going to cost me $70.
	You're out of your fucking mind, man.
	I'm going to walk around this half-living room.
	I love the half-living room.
	I've become such a fucking half-living room like fucking diva, dude.
	I love the, I got to get the half-living room for what?
	I don't know, but I got to have it.
	You got to.
	It's like, dude, hotel, it's like they give you half of every room.
	One room.
	I know, I know.
	It's like the power rooms.
	It's like they all got together.
	We're like, this is a room.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's like, yeah, the.
	It's all the different ones.
	The last, what the fuck was that called?
	The last Mohicans, maybe?
	No, Zordon was their fucking leader.
	Oh, are you talking about the broken?
	But I mean, what was it called when they got together?
	Are you talking about the Brooklyn Nets?
	Yeah, Kyrie Harden and Kevin Durant.
	I'm thinking about the Brooklyn Nets.
	I'm not sure.
	Who have now since disbanded?
	Yeah, dude.
	They've lost fast, huh?
	I know, that was fun.
	It's like Diddy's making the band, that fucking thing.
	Remember how bad that band was they made?
	The band was horrible, but it was a good show.
	Yeah, the show was good.
	When he made him get cheesesteak, your cheese steaks, made him walk to Philly or whatever the fuck you made him do.
	That was fun.
	Bro, he didn't teach him any music.
	No, dude.
	He basically got five brothers and sisters and made him walk six miles to get him a dessert.
	But at least we're going to be.
	It was almost like a story out of the Bible.
	It felt more like a parable.
	What is this?
	In the future, that's what people will look back.
	Remember 700 years ago?
	You know, when Bunny had to fucking walk.
	And what did we learn?
	And you must not be tempted by the evils of Dylan.
	You must be true to Diddy, no matter what the temptress Dylon says to you.
	At least we got the Chappelle show skit, too.
	We got a couple nice cultural artifacts from that.
	But yes, no good music.
	Music was dog shit.
	Chopper, he was pretty good.
	Yeah, Chopper was good, man.
	He was out of New Orleans.
	I think he fell for the ladies too much, though.
	What else?
	What we got in the news, man?
	Let's get a couple little news topics.
	And you got your special, and it's out tomorrow.
	Tomorrow, yeah.
	Four Nights in New York.
	It's on my YouTube channel.
	And the Fat Rascal tour.
	I'm coming all over the place.
	I'm going to Cleve.
	Like, just, I'm doing a bunch of fall dates.
	They're selling well.
	It's big theater, so it's like I'm a little nervous, but they're selling pretty good, you know?
	But it's one of those things where when you do small shows and sell them out, you feel good.
	But when you have these, like, big rooms, and you're like, fuck, I hope this just keeps selling at this time.
	Oh, it's so scary.
	It almost, that almost became too scary for me.
	It's one, it becomes, okay, I had a real problem with that.
	And I still do sometimes.
	It's like, I'm afraid, yeah, it's like the last, there's something inside of me, the last thing I want.
	Man, this is crazy.
	I didn't really realize this is the, there's a huge fear that somebody's not going to Show up for me.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So, and it doesn't mean like actual people buying.
	It's not, but it's like goes back to like being a child.
	It's like somebody's not going to be there.
	Oh, dude, absolutely.
	So if I put, if I, you put something out there, you're basically opening and saying, hey, will you be here for me?
	And it's kind of different because it's a transactional thing, and it's, but it's still the same like concept.
	No, I get it.
	You're putting yourself out there, especially when it's like one level higher than you're used to.
	And it's like you're, when you're putting yourself, when you're at risk, right?
	When you've made yourself vulnerable and then you're like, oh, I know I could have done this smaller place, but it's like, I hope all these people that it seems like are there are going to show up.
	And then if they don't, yeah, it feels fucking horrible.
	But things are going good so far.
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	You're so funny.
	They definitely will continue to go good.
	I think I, I, um, yeah, I notice even more on that topic that, yeah, I commit to my, like work is my biggest relationship because it's like the safest, most controlled place to even be vulnerable.
	I think I fully, I, I felt that happening where it was like, which is a little scary, right?
	Because you're like, you stop being a person and you just become like, oh yeah, I'm just got to keep crushing this because this is, this is going good.
	I know I can control this.
	I have full control over it.
	And you start like, like, I started feeling like depressed when I had time off.
	But while I was in it, I was like, I can't wait for some time off.
	I need a couple days off.
	I'm fucking run down.
	And then you get it and you're like, what the fuck do I even do?
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, you don't have the other.
	So I was like, and I felt, and then when I went back to work, even though it was like, like I had a month, I had a like a stretch where I was on the road like seven weeks in a row.
	And the one week I had off, I had to do a different trip.
	And it was like just too much.
	But when it starts, you're like, at least I know what I have to do.
	There's no ambiguity.
	There's no think, you know, if you're like me, there's like no your own thoughts.
	You don't even have time to think because it's like, I have to be on the road every weekend.
	I have to podcast at some point, you know, in between that.
	And then, you know, you have to do fucking YouTube videos where all this other shit.
	And it's like, there is something freeing to not having to make a decision.
	But then at the same time, and there's something that feels awesome where it's all going good, right?
	You see the fucking the numbers go up and the feeling, you know, feeling of success.
	But that is a little, that could be a trap too.
	Because some of the shit you can't have control of.
	That's the, that's the scary thing.
	It's like, yeah, you got to kind of put yourself, you got to have that vulnerability with just a person or people in your life or like some other shit that's just not work.
	Yeah, I think when I was a kid, I think I take everything back to when I was a kid.
	I'm like, I love just, you know, walking through my own haunted house.
	Of course, of course.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's gone.
	Yeah.
	That's gone for good.
	Your uncle almost wasn't.
	But yeah, I think that like just going back to like, yeah, is somebody going to be there?
	Am I going to be like, I think wanting to be seen too, why you even end up doing it?
	You know?
	Yeah.
	Why do I need to go have people show me that they see me?
	And I think comedy, it's like, show me you see me in a very real way.
	It's like, I need proof.
	I need audible.
	I need to see it and I need to hear it.
	Right, right.
	And I need it every 15 seconds.
	And I need it to be undeniable.
	And that's one thing I think about if somebody's laughing, it's kind of if they're genuinely laughing, it's undeniable.
	Absolutely.
	So it's like, I need, I don't trust things enough in the space that I'm in or in the like home space I'm in that I need undeniable proof that you see me.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah.
	And it has to be almost from like a cellular level.
	That's why it has to be right.
	Involuntary.
	Laughter is the one like involuntary thing where it's like, yeah, even if you're trying not to laugh, you'll still laugh if something hits you just right.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's just like a fee.
	It's like feelings just farting right out of your skin.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Joy feelings, feelings of feeling.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Let's get into a little bit of news, man.
	You got a few more minutes?
	Yeah, fuck you.
	We've actually, Starbucks does a advice line show, so we didn't know if you wanted to do a couple voicemails together.
	Oh, I would love that.
	Yeah, Stavi's World, we do half the show is advice, so I'd love to help the fam out.
	All right, let's bring it up.
	So, Stavi, you have on your show, you have.
	Yeah, Stavi's World, we do half voicemails.
	So it's like we bring somebody on, and next time, you know, come anytime you want, come do the show for sure.
	It's been so much fun, man.
	Yeah, dude.
	We just fuck around for the first half hour, for the first 45 minutes of the show, and then we do advice.
	And people just call in with all types of shit.
	Crazy.
	Yeah, Stavi's World, we got two episodes a week, one free, one Patreon.
	So, yeah, dude.
	Yeah, so I'd love to help some of the fucking.
	Let's see what we got here.
	Play it up, brother.
	Kind of like a callback to a classic that was on the show.
	We'd like to get just a rose's take on it.
	Okay.
	Hey, Theo.
	I'm Colin.
	I've worked in a learning center.
	Okay.
	School.
	And these past few weeks, I've been having...
	There's just been...
	And, you know, it's a job.
	It gets stuff done.
	But recently, there's been a kid named James.
	He has autism.
	And recently he's been trying to sexually assault me.
	And, you know, I don't really care, but it's more frightening for the other students.
	And the thing is, you know, I know they can't help it and stuff, but every time he does it, he just has this look in his eyes.
	This lustful, evil look.
	Almost like he knows what he's doing and he knows that it's wrong.
	And he'll be, you know, he'll be running around.
	Stop that, James.
	Stop it, James.
	Please stop.
	What's he doing?
	You know, he'll be helicoptering it.
	And it's just scary.
	And we're a little afraid for our safety.
	Okay, that's it.
	No way.
	This isn't fucking real.
	That sounds real to me.
	You don't think that that's real?
	This kid's pulling his Cock out and flipping it around.
	What would you do if you pulled your cock out?
	I guess I would give it an up and down.
	I don't know if I'd full helicopter.
	Maybe that's a size issue.
	Maybe this autistic kid's got a nice fucking piece and he's really letting it hang.
	I would go up and down just because the helicopter's not as impressive.
	When the circumference of the helicopter, when it's like a mini, when it's like a hummingbird.
	It's more of a drone.
	It's a drone.
	Oh, and I think the first thing you do, if you've already exposed your penis, you have to then, and then you realize, okay, this is weird.
	I don't know what to do with that.
	I think you have to spin your penis.
	Okay, that's fair.
	And this kid's doing it on a primal autistic level, too.
	He's just kind of connected.
	It's like he's not thinking.
	He's just pulling his dick.
	Very limbic system.
	It's like very much.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	If you are, you see this a lot on nature channel.
	Yeah.
	You know, where the monkey or kind of, or the- Yeah, or a grasshopper or something that'll, or like one of those little like lizards or something, they'll clean off all the area around him and then they'll make their thing real big like this.
	They'll make their little like.
	Like a mating.
	Like a hat, kind of.
	It's like a part of the back, just like a fake hat pops out behind their head.
	And it's like red and blue.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But I think everybody has their mating call.
	And so you think this kid's pulling his penis out is his mating call?
	I think, what else would it be?
	If you're autistic?
	I don't know.
	You still have very...
	That's the thing.
	I think everybody's got to worry...
	Yeah.
	It doesn't even matter.
	I would think, okay, so if he's really this horny, is this dick hard?
	And once your dick is hard, you're not really in the helicopter zone.
	I wonder if autism can get an erection, huh?
	Oh, I think they can.
	You think?
	Oh, yeah.
	I think they probably get real nice ones because they're not up in their head.
	Like we said, it's limbic.
	Oh, yeah.
	I have some anxiety problems sometimes.
	My dick's not getting hard because I'm, you know, nervous.
	Yeah.
	This kid's not nervous.
	Especially if his dick is out in math class.
	You know, he's like overridden.
	Yeah.
	His dick has overridden his feeble autistic mind and just gotten hard.
	Like with, you know.
	This root is square.
	I don't think that.
	I think this guy's lying, though.
	It's at least rectangle.
	This is bricked up.
	This is a cylinder.
	What about you?
	I think so.
	Wow, it's funny.
	Yeah, I didn't think he could.
	I could feel a smile on his lips.
	I could hear the smile on his lips.
	Yeah, you could be right.
	I just feel like if a kid is pulling his dick out in special ed, first of all, there's no way it doesn't happen.
	Well, it happens in regular ed.
	If somebody tells you you're a special, you're definitely going to pull your dick out.
	I feel like it's a fairly good.
	Okay, so maybe though, but you're not, though.
	So maybe they've misdiagnosed him.
	Maybe this is a form of rebellion.
	Although he claims he's got an evil, lustful look in his eyes.
	And he says he's sexually assaulting him, which means he thinks the kid is trying to rape him.
	I think he said the kid has a look in his eyes and the kid is trying to be sexually deviant.
	Right.
	But I believe that the kid is just trying to advance sexually.
	Now, let's, how about this?
	Isn't this a perfect place for sex robots?
	Because you don't want to jack the kid off.
	That's molestation.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	But if there is a, in fact, sex robots in like high school special ed, that might be the place they're most needed.
	Just get them.
	You know what I mean?
	Clear their brain.
	They're up against enough challenges learning how to read already.
	You don't want them hard too.
	You should have to milk every special ed kid before you start a lesson.
	I've actually flipped completely on this.
	I think this is the natural way to deal with this.
	We need those Chinese dick sucking machines that Jordan Peterson retweeted.
	I don't know if you saw that.
	I think you got to, if you bring in robots just for sex, yeah, I wonder.
	I don't know.
	I think you'd almost have to have a parent of a child like this.
	They would have to sign a permission slip for sure.
	That's what I'm saying.
	You can't just, I think, send a robot in there or be like, hey, who's got 50 cents?
	You know, it's in the hall.
	I think a gumball machine.
	You turn it.
	Because they used to let us all out to get a candy every now and then.
	You know what?
	That's true.
	The school nurse has to.
	I think you have to have someone there.
	Because it can't be.
	Because if it was like.
	But then are you teaching an autistic kid?
	Sorry, I stepped on your corner.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	No, no, please.
	I don't know.
	But is it Pavlov's dog?
	Now are they going to get horny every time they learn?
	And you fact.
	You know, you've taught them to evacuate their nuts before learning.
	That's a good point.
	You might have to do it the opposite.
	You listen all day.
	We let this robot suck your dick.
	Can't the robot just masturbate?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I guess you're right.
	It can jack it off.
	I feel like if I have autism and you put your, I just feel like the.
	Sensory overload?
	Yes.
	Of a robot, like, you know.
	Yeah, it would be more of a jacking off thing.
	And it wouldn't look like a woman.
	We want this to feel medical.
	Okay.
	We want it to just be a hole you put your special penis inside of, and it just drains you and gets you in the mind frame for learning.
	Docile.
	You know?
	Yeah, ready to learn.
	Honestly.
	Crazy, brother.
	Yeah.
	I feel like I would have learned a lot better in high school if they like somebody jacked me off right before.
	You would have been, you would have just gotten in line over and over.
	Yeah, that's true.
	You would have missed every class.
	Well, that's why it has to be controlled.
	You'd had a book bag full of dried out semen.
	I would hope they.
	You would still be in school there.
	Yeah.
	I'm thinking I'm in community college.
	I'm thinking continuing education.
	You'd weigh 19 pounds.
	You'd have nothing left in your body.
	That's true.
	You're right.
	Let's see what other news we got.
	It's not a perfect solution.
	But yeah, at that age, man, that's tough.
	Oh, it would be just.
	It would be a lot, huh?
	I just remember specific lessons I probably missed because I was thinking about.
	Sex so much?
	Yeah, I had a hot teacher.
	You know what I mean?
	Think about getting a hot tea shirt.
	We had a lady when she would come over.
	I would say, I don't know what this is, right?
	And she would come over and I would be so just caught up with like the smell of her and like the, and even just her possible tits.
	Like, and she had like nine layers of clothing.
	She had like clothing from like the 1600s.
	She had all of that with the collar.
	Frilly collar.
	Oh, definitely.
	She had bra, over bra, under bra.
	Yeah.
	She had an underbite on her tits.
	She had everything you could have, right?
	As much as you could, you know?
	Yeah.
	And you could still feel her tits, her tit meet somehow.
	She's being closer to it.
	Radiating through all that clothing.
	Oh, dude, believe me.
	I had one of my teachers in sixth grade.
	You just wanted to kidding.
	Humongous fake titties.
	Oh, fake ones?
	Yeah.
	Oh, they didn't allow them at our school.
	I remember that.
	It was natural.
	You only had natural artists.
	I had to have big natties to teach.
	They did a fucking, they put her through an MRI.
	Make sure there's no silicone in those titties.
	The principal's like, okay, checks out.
	These feel good.
	But back then, dude, they had the one.
	You could tell if that's true.
	Back then, that is true.
	The technology's gotten really nice.
	Everyone looked like somebody had vacuum sealed.
	A couple chicken cutlets.
	A bocce ball.
	Everyone, like, geez.
	They were a little too heavy.
	You could see exactly where the, yeah.
	They were so tight.
	I was like, man, this thing.
	This lady, to my knowledge, had pretty awesome tits.
	Like, she didn't wear it.
	She didn't have like multiple layers.
	She was putting them out there.
	Like, she, don't get me wrong, you wouldn't see cleavage, but it would be like one of those things where it's like just a tight t-shirt.
	Oh, man.
	She has big old titties.
	Yeah, this lady, I wanted to drive right through her tits with a small car.
	A Geometro?
	Drive a Geometro through her tits?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And I would have left the windows down.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, another, another, I remember, speaking of just being in proximity of titties or hot girls or whatever.
	I remember how excited, dude, my neck would turn red if I got around some tits.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, oh, my fucking God.
	I remember when I was like in fifth grade, I had to wear a scarf for like three months, dude, because I was just so horny.
	Because I remember the blood would like, it would just.
	You had an anti-erection scarf?
	You just remember the blood would come to the edge of my skin.
	It was like, get me out of here.
	Oh, man.
	I remember I, because I had, I had a full, beautiful head of hair in high school.
	I had this, this hair length, but it was like even longer and like curlier and nice.
	And, you know, my school, my high school was like, it was like, you know, most, it was like 85% black or 90% black.
	And then, of course, Greek, I was cool.
	I was like, I was on the football team.
	I was a fun, funny guy.
	You know, whatever.
	I was hanging out.
	And, and girls would just love to just play with your curly white hair.
	You know what I mean?
	They would, girls would love to like braid my hair.
	And I just remember just like, just feeling the warmth of a pussy when a girl is like standing over you.
	Yeah.
	But no, I mean, like.
	Oh, you feel, yeah.
	This girl must have had a heater.
	I don't know what was going on.
	She had a little convection oven between her between her legs.
	And I remember feeling heat on my neck.
	And I was like, it's a real thing.
	Look up the is the vagina warmer.
	Oh, for sure.
	We can't say in children.
	Yeah.
	Teen.
	Dude, teens.
	And be careful what you look up, dude.
	I don't think you can do stuff like that.
	Yeah, no, but I think probably when you're developing.
	And for the record, I was 16, she was 16. Yeah, and everybody, even in my imagination right now, is.
	It's 38 years old.
	Oh, dude.
	Are we going to go to jail, bro?
	No, you didn't search it, so we're good.
	Did you search it?
	No, when is the vagina warmest was the closest I was willing to get to?
	Okay, that could be time of day.
	Okay.
	Let's see what it says.
	Or maybe we shouldn't, it sounds like.
	Vaginal temperature is indicative of thermo.
	Is winter vagina a real thing?
	Let's look at that.
	Maybe this will get us out of trouble.
	To put it mildly, not all experts are convinced this is a real problem.
	What's going on here?
	This is very bloggy.
	The vagina maintains a steady temperature, and human body temperature only rises with the outside temperature when someone is suffering from heat stroke.
	Maybe this girl was out in the sun too long.
	Because I do remember just an emanating pussy heat stroke.
	Oh, I remember being around a woman's vagina, dude.
	And just the first time you even like, well, I remember the first time you even allowed you to put your deviant, criminal, perverted fucking claws on her.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And how every part of her body was like a, and you would touch anything.
	Yeah, it would be like, whoa, what's going on here?
	Oh, just put your elbow in.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like, oh, yeah.
	I remember being so excited, brother, just to be alive and be, just to touch a woman.
	But I do remember around there, like Uvala or whatever, that it would be warmer.
	Yes.
	Or it would seem warmer.
	It could have been in your brain.
	Could have been in your brain.
	Could have just been how bad you wanted access to some pussy.
	Because you felt like the briefcase in pulp fiction was just, oh, yeah.
	Like that's what pussy was in your head.
	Sometimes it's like warm.
	Oh, yeah.
	There's been plenty of those.
	Hold the briefcase.
	We're leaving.
	put chains around and throw it in the ocean.
	Yeah, man, it would just you would be so, I mean, just geeked up when you just, I mean, it was like, even if a woman wasn't going to let you touch her, but even just the fact that she let you put her hands.
	My first time just being around a damn titty, I remember putting my ear up to it.
	This girl that it was like the first girl I ever even dated.
	And I just remember putting my ear up to it and hearing the ocean.
	No, I think I even remember this.
	It's kind of crazy, but I think I even remember doing like the Pledge of Allegiance.
	That would make me patriotic.
	The first time I see tits.
	That's a beautiful moment.
	I mean, that's autism.
	Breast autism.
	I mean, it's like, I think it's as close as you can get, probably.
	But knowing that you have these feelings and they are just, they take you over.
	Yeah, that's the thing.
	Yeah, for sure.
	I mean, I remember just the first time when you guys made love, where was it?
	In an apartment, like a dorm.
	The first time I got pussy was in a dorm.
	That's beautiful.
	But it was nice.
	It was cool because it was like my college girlfriend wanted to kind of like wait.
	And she was like, all right, well, you know, I had gotten chacked off.
	I had gotten, I think she blew me.
	And it was like, she's like, all right, well, now you can go down on me.
	And I was like, great.
	And she just, she, I ate her pussy.
	I licked her cooter.
	Is that better?
	I tickled her cooter.
	And I remember being like, feeling proud of myself because her plan was to just let me lick her over cute.
	And she was like, you know what?
	Maybe we could just have sex right now.
	She said that?
	Yeah.
	She's like, let's just fuck it out.
	And it was like, and like, let's just have sex now.
	And I was like, real nice.
	And it was, it was like incredible.
	And I was just like, I can't, this is incredible.
	Like, I felt like I earned my natural pussy eating abilities.
	I hadn't eaten, I think that's the first time I ate a girl out.
	Like I had like fingered a girl before.
	Right.
	You know, but I'd never like.
	And were you out?
	Was it daytime or was it even?
	Daytime.
	Yeah.
	First time I had sex was like, it was like 11 a.m.
	It was like fucking price's right is on.
	Bro, imagine.
	I think I literally went to like lunch with like a like a family friend afterwards.
	I think it was like we were, she was over my dorm and it was like.
	I was like, what do you, what'd you do?
	What are you up to today, Stavi?
	They were just talking about shit and I was just like, like, I think it was like a guy I was trying to get an internship with.
	Like, right.
	I busted the first time inside a woman ever.
	And this guy's talking to me about like Greek town development.
	Yeah.
	And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about any of this.
	Yeah, you're like, I'm having a kid in nine months.
	It was in a concert where this apartment complex goes.
	Let's get some more news.
	What else is going on out there?
	I'm trying to think of what I've been doing.
	I don't even know, dude.
	I haven't been.
	Well, they have this beer, the beer, all this, a lot of stuff with trans activism, you know?
	Shout out to them.
	Yeah.
	And it's got to be, but what is it?
	What is being trans?
	Yeah.
	I mean, I know it's like, is it, I know it's men or women who want to be the other, right?
	Yeah.
	Or they feel stuck inside of the, they feel wrongfully convicted.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I think that's a good way to put it.
	Convicted in the wrong body.
	Right.
	That's what it seems like to me anyway.
	Although some people just want to go, I'm neither.
	I'm non-binary.
	You know, I'm throwing on some overalls.
	I'm just hanging out.
	I'm getting a hair.
	Honestly, a haircut a lot like yours.
	That's so many.
	A lot of non-binary.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But I think Mullen is a pretty nice non-binary look.
	Yeah.
	Do you think, what do you think?
	Because there's a lot of companies now that are advertising stuff, right?
	I mean, this is hilarious.
	Kid Rock, just fucking chill out, Kid Rock.
	Kid Rock's just, but he's awesome, Kid Rock.
	I know.
	Bud Light and fuck Anheuser-Busch.
	Have a terrific day.
	You really showed them buying their shit and shooting it with guns and then basically giving them an advertisement.
	Like everyone who likes trans people is going to be like, damn, Kid Rock's dumb.
	I'm going to get some Bud Light.
	Also, I didn't know this, but Kid Rock apparently grew up rich.
	That's kind of wild.
	Grew up at least middle class.
	His family had a car dealership, I think.
	Oh, okay.
	Nice.
	Yeah.
	I think the thing about it, I think, is that the place that he's coming from is do Travis.
	Are they trying, like, what is, I just wonder, what is the business?
	What is, is there a business goal of it?
	Does it seem that's what I'm just curious about because it seems like an interesting move.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	See, that's the thing.
	That's what I think has kind of been blown kind of crazily out of proportion is like trans people that I know, they just want to be trans.
	Right.
	They don't, they just want to like not be like kill.
	Like, because that's the thing.
	As a, if you're like going M to like M to F, if you're like born a man, you transition to female, it's like, that's like a, a lot of them like become sex workers.
	A lot of them like get like violence against them, guys who feel like they've been either tricked or like whatever.
	And it's like scary, it's like a pretty scary thing to, you know, it's a pretty like tough lifestyle.
	And they're just like, hey, I just want like not to be killed and to be like basically respected and to be able to go to like the doctor.
	And I just don't, it's such a low percentage of people too.
	That's what it's crazy to me that we're having this discussion.
	That's the part to me is interesting.
	It's such a small.
	And I wonder, are you helping trans people buy like Bud Light?
	Like, is this the move to help?
	Because I totally understand what you're saying.
	Like, imagine if you are, if you feel that way, right?
	Imagine if you really feel it, right?
	Yeah.
	Now, I think there's a big, there could be a difference between people who really feel it and also now if they're commercializing it or if they're sensationalizing it so much that a mind that isn't sure now adapts to it to like have a cause because people will can grasp onto a lot of causes, right?
	For sure.
	And I think like, I think like with any kind of thing that gets a lot of publicity, you will have people that are like just unsure will like reach on to it.
	And you will have, here's the thing, with anything that gets any traction, you'll get people doing it cynically to get famous, right?
	But the way that there's like, it's like a one percentage of people are trans, 0.001 of them are like these weird people doing it for attention.
	Right.
	You know, so it's like, that's what is crazy about these discussions is like, for the most part, what we're talking about is like, let people have jobs.
	You know, like, just let them have basic, the way I look at it, right?
	It was like, just let them go about their lives without facing discrimination.
	And like, who gives a fuck?
	Yeah.
	What do you care if somebody like was born a guy wants to chop their dick off and be a girl?
	Why does that bother you?
	And I do find it a little ironic where it's like, especially people that are talking about like, you know, like not to get super political with it, but it's like the states that are very anti-the-trans shit.
	It's like you have people talking about how they want limited government, but then they're like, oh, I have to check your daughters to see if your daughter has a vagina before.
	Like Florida was talking about a bill where they're tracking girls' periods to prove they're biological female.
	Like a whoop bracelet or something?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	A whoopstrap.
	Florida, yeah.
	Ron DeSantis wanted one around like teen girls pussies inside of them.
	And it's like, aren't you supposed to be the one for like limited government, but we're checking girls' periods?
	It's just like, or they made it like illegal to mention the period.
	It's like, dude, it's fucking crazy.
	And I'm just like, I don't get, like, I have some transparent, if someone's trans, let them be trans.
	Like, I would never be upset at anybody that's trans or like, I would be very curious what it's really like.
	For sure.
	I would be very curious in today's world what if someone is like just gay and they see an option to be for clout or just totally uh straight and season because there's such a me it's such a like yeah like you know a currency out there now that i could see that being some but i don't say that to diminish if because those people are also diminishing if people are really dealing with that like for sure i don't know i guess i guess i just wonder is this the best person to introduce that to
	the world like because a lot of people now are just starting to talk about trans which is maybe is good but it's also such a small percentage of people i guess i just don't understand is this going to be helpful to trans people because it almost like if i'm a trans person right and my life is tough right yeah if i really am if i because i believe that you know i mean you make god makes so many cookies man you could yeah yeah yeah yeah something could nature could be also merging you don't know yeah and i also think in like other
	societies like ancient ones people were kind of like in between genders and other societies had like multiple genders yeah look at robin hood yeah exactly those guys were in tights come on you telling me somebody dressed somebody threw on made marion's dress big john was a bear dude but i just want i guess i wonder if for like say like a regular trans person who does not want the wild attention right and who just is trying to figure out their thing do they think that this is i wonder if this is feels
	comfortable to them that now it's this thing it's like attached to beat it's like yeah i don't know i know you mean like it's become like a uh like um well anytime like advertising or whatever you know when you become super mainstream but i think a lot of the attention is unwanted i think for the most part but i do think it's because it's like kind of a political backlash because i think i think what i don't want to get super political here right yeah maybe we are getting but but but there is something to a culture war
	thing where conservatives have been very shrewd starting with like karl rove where it was like um they it started with gay marriage right and it's like because people are like like shit sucks in america for a lot of poor people but i think when you don't when you don't want to offer poor people anything in terms of like material help in terms of like better schools better you know healthcare like healthcare is a big issue right like people are fucked and everything's getting more privatized and
	there's less like support i think the way that you uh that that you get people to like vote for you is you like rile them up and scare them whether that and like there's this big backlash against trans people because i think it's become a conservative boogeyman where they're talking about like you know drag queens and they're talking about how drag queens are gonna like groom your like they're calling gay people groomers and shit and i think that's really dangerous and i think that attention has come because trans people are being used as a political tool in the negative whereas
	like i mean dude it's so funny to hear people talk about how drag queens are like you know oh they're so dangerous for kids where it's like drag queen like you think they molest people like politicians and priests are up two million kids to zero on molested drag queens it's like at least two million or maybe a thousand maybe like a thousand yeah yeah maybe there's one yeah there's one of them who was whatever but it's like still drag queens are gonna start having to do like flea flickers and like trick plays to get
	back in the game compared to priests compared to fucking compared to politicians they're the ones fucking kids and it's like it's just become this political ploy you know where it's like yeah that i mean look that's a that's a really great point man i think what i hear a lot of times that people are scared of especially on the backs of like the vaccine and stuff like that people are scared that well is this some another reach where they're trying to where the media will then use like a lot of like film television
	exposure about gender uncertainty and then to start to get you young people to want to take like a gender blocker right or some type of a medicine right And I don't know enough about the medicine.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But I think as when I look, even how influenced I was, I mean, I watched WWE WrestleMania, man.
	Yeah, if The Rock cut his dick off, you'd be thinking about it.
	Dude, if somebody threw my grandmother against the ropes, if somebody just threw my grandmother against the ropes, I would have kicked that bitch's head off.
	That's how influenced I was by WWE, bro.
	It was over, bro.
	No amount of calcium pills was going to bring her back.
	So I think that's a lot of people's fear.
	It's like, man, there's so much influence over my children that if they start to use this chip, are they then just going to come in with another medicine on the back of COVID where a lot of people are skeptical about the vaccine now?
	Sure.
	And rightfully so.
	So I think that's probably a lot of, I think that's a lot of the fear.
	But I think the molestation part, you're right.
	It's like, yeah, it's like, oh, you can't molest my kids.
	I'll let them, you know, it's only going to be done by my own.
	Yeah, by my, by my preacher.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Not a guy with lipstick, which again, it's not like, I do think, I just don't think, I just don't, I'm not convinced that the numbers are that big where it's like, all of a sudden all these kids are transitioning because they think it's cool.
	I think it's so hard to do that.
	Like people would say that about like in like sports, right?
	Where like Leah Tom, they were talking about that swimmer who like was trans and was like a much better swimmer as a woman than she was as a man.
	The idea that you would cut your dick off to win fucking college swimming.
	You really want that bronze medal in college swimming that bad that you're going to chop your nuts off?
	It's like, I don't know.
	That's like, and then have people like, For sure, you're a seal.
	But it's just like, I guess I'm not convinced that, like, I think a lot of this shit is just fear-mongering for no reason.
	And especially when you see the statistics, like I saw some poll, I don't know, I don't know if like we can find it, but it was like there's like a poll of shit of like the percentage people thought were trans.
	A bunch of things, not just trans, but like a ton of stuff.
	Like how many people are Muslim in America?
	How many people are like whatever?
	And everyone overestimation.
	And that like, I think, I literally think a percentage of trans people in America is like 1%.
	I think we looked at the other day, it was 1.7 million.
	About 5% of young adults in the US say their gender is different from their sex.
	See, now this article sounds so delusional to me, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	5% of youth, it could be, now that could be, they asked 100 youths in Brooklyn outside, you know, but that's the thing about articles.
	You just don't know.
	But that kind of percentage, yeah, you see that.
	It could definitely make people think what's going on.
	And then you get, yeah, you get scared.
	Why is it so scary, man?
	I also think there's a difference between like fully transitioning and being like, hey, I do think there's a lot of kids who are like, hey, maybe I'm non-binary.
	Maybe I'm like, I'm not going to change anything medically, but like maybe I'm going to start, instead of being called Eric, my name is now Sock.
	And I'm half a guy.
	You know what I mean?
	Like it is, there is like, there is some change in that, I think.
	Definitely, I think I have more like young friends who are like, maybe open to experimenting with gender in that they think, you know, the way every generation has different radical ideas to older people.
	And I think that's another thing I try and think about is like, you don't want to be the old guy who's like, well, that's not right.
	That's not how I had it.
	Yeah.
	You know what I mean?
	Like part of me is like, I defer to young people sometimes a little bit where it's like, and some of this is like, people are going to find themselves and they're going to like settle down.
	And it's like, whatever, they might, those percentages might like drop or whatever.
	But it's just like, I think this shit is kind of like fluid and like always changing.
	But ultimately, I don't think it's dangerous.
	Like, that's the thing.
	It's like, who gives a fuck if somebody wants to change their name or like be perceived as something else?
	I don't understand why you fucking care.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I don't, I don't think, I feel like a lot of people probably don't.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But I think if it came to a point where then a kid could go get, say, if I'm 14, right?
	Yeah, and I don't know how I'm feeling, right?
	Yeah.
	Maybe I'm gay.
	Maybe I'm straight.
	Maybe women just don't like me, bro.
	I mean, there was times when I was younger when I thought that women didn't like me enough that I thought maybe I'm supposed to like men.
	Dude, me too.
	I was like, I was like, maybe I'll just.
	I was like, there must be something wrong with me.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You know, that maybe in my head, somehow I'm messed up.
	I'm not messed up, but I am, I'm not seeing things clearly.
	Yeah.
	You know, and for sure.
	No, I'm with you there.
	So say if you're going through that and then you decide to, that's where it's like, I just don't like it when there's possibility for the drugs to get involved.
	That's the part for me that's like, man, I don't know because I got on antidepressants at a young age and I can't get off of them.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know, so I don't know.
	It's definitely interesting.
	And I think, look, we've had some good thoughts about it, you know, and some good like discussion about it.
	And I will say just from like, I've hooked up with some people who are they them, non-binary.
	I've gotten some excellent they them pussy.
	Damn, really?
	Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
	Wow, bro.
	No joke, the best head I've gotten is a tie between two they them people.
	It was awesome.
	Damn.
	Yeah.
	It would probably traditionally appear, you know, if you saw them, you'd probably think that leap people.
	You know what I mean?
	But still.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So shout out to, you know, they them pussy is very powerful and it's out there.
	The Lord's leap eater, dude.
	That's it, baby.
	Exactly, exactly.
	And look, a lot of like Asian people, I think, are against this sort of thing.
	They're very like gender.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	You samurai or ninja.
	Yeah.
	It's like they're even starting to name their kids, I think, like him, him was one of the confusing my son.
	Him, him?
	He, him.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He's him and him.
	He's over.
	That was lame.
	That was a lame joke.
	You know what's interesting, man, is that I wonder a lot what nature's doing.
	Like, because that's what we don't know.
	We don't know what nature is doing.
	We don't know.
	Every second that we are alive, every like right now, right now, right now, that's what nature's doing.
	So we don't know also if nature is doing something genetically where in the future we're all going to be one color, one, you know, ambidextrious shit.
	Yeah.
	Wearing like just an ambidextrious holster around our waist.
	that's true.
	You could like remember like the like WWE figures where you could like switch the heads, and it was like, maybe you do have a genital soon.
	It could you just flip your dick, it goes into your ass, and now you got a pussy, or maybe you got a pussy under your balls.
	Maybe that's how we evolve.
	Oh, imagine if you lifted up your balls and you had a vagina under it right under it.
	Oh, that'd be like, now it's time for the show.
	And you just pull a little rope that's on your leg.
	Your balls spread apart like they're curtains.
	yeah yeah But I just, then why are they, I don't know why, if it's a small thing, and I feel like it's a, I just feel like it's such a sensitive topic for whoever's really going through that.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That I don't know if it's the right thing for a company to come along.
	I don't know.
	See, you know what I'm saying?
	I do know what you're saying.
	Or what I'm questioning.
	I just, I don't know.
	It's hard to feel that out.
	I understand the question.
	I think like positive, I think anything that kind of normalizes a struggle that somebody's going through is fine.
	You know, it's like, okay, like, I see what you're saying where it's like, it brings attention to it.
	And the negative attention to me is a problem, but it's like, it's on the people who are negative about it.
	Like, you know, I'm obviously very, like, I just don't, I think the real problems are the legislative, is the legislative stuff that's happening against trans people personally, where it's like, it's making their lives difficult.
	It's making some people not be able to get like medical care.
	It's, you know.
	Well, insurance will make, I find any reason not to give you any.
	Well, that's the other thing is like, yeah, that's another problem with our country where it's like so many of our biggest problems come down to we don't have our basics covered in the richest country in the history of the world, which is so fucked up.
	Like no one should be fucking.
	Well, it's not profitable.
	It's not, you know, it comes down to a bottom line.
	You start to feel like a, you know, you start to feel like a pawn, I think.
	I think that's another thing.
	It's such a time where everything that the media does feels like someone is being pawned that I think that just everything these days, I feel like kind of makes me a little bit nervous.
	Yeah.
	You know, I'm with you too.
	I am a little bit more.
	Like what's the shell game here?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I'm a little pessimistic about the course we're on in general just because of like, you know, global warming shit, but also like inequality in America is so crazy where it's like, yeah, dude.
	And I think a lot of the anger that you see in general, like even like even for some people, trans has become like a boogeyman.
	And it's like they're angry because, yeah, their family member has fucking cancer.
	Insurance doesn't cover it.
	Their job has been, you know, their job is gone.
	There's no fucking, you know, a train gets derailed.
	No one's fucking cleaning it up.
	Now they have fucking poison in their, in their water.
	And it's like, these are all things that could be covered with like, if we held our government accountable and they just like, we had to, they had to provide basic needs for people.
	Yeah.
	But everything is gone kind of to shit.
	And it's like, it's easy to start disagreeing about the stuff that does not matter when you're just so angry because you feel like you're getting screwed because we are getting screwed, but we're getting screwed by, in my opinion, big corporations, by everyone who's just like gobbling up all the money and making sure that it's like, you know, wages having kept place with inflation.
	You know, minimum wage, if it was like what it was in the 70s, now it should be like, you know, like 40 bucks an hour or something.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I think that's the root of all like our disagreements and all our, all the anger here.
	And I think.
	Oh, yeah, when people don't feel like they're not belonged to.
	Yeah, taken care of when they're working too hard.
	Yeah.
	You know, and at the same time that you're taking, you're taking away, like, or you're making it harder, I think.
	I don't know.
	It's a lot.
	There's a lot of stuff.
	I'm not trying to not think about it.
	It's just a lot.
	Yeah, no, for sure.
	And maybe I'll curb, maybe I'll turn the subject so we can get into something a little happier.
	Yeah, we got some funny ones we can go into.
	Okay, let's get into one or two funnier ones, man.
	Sorry about that.
	I love, look, man, I love thinking about it.
	I'm with you, too.
	I mean, I just, I really.
	And I think it's important to talk to think about.
	For sure.
	You know, because that's the thing.
	I don't know anybody that is trans.
	And a lot of my friends don't, you know, and I'm even in LA five months out of it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I have some friends.
	Oh, wait, we have one.
	We had a guest, Robin.
	Robin Tran.
	Robin Tran.
	I believe so.
	Yeah.
	And that is.
	A little on the nose.
	I mean.
	But Robin Tran is a comedian.
	And I don't know.
	She didn't have the surgery at that time.
	Okay.
	And then Joe Dosch was a male comedian.
	And he has.
	I don't know Robin personally.
	J-O-E-D-O-D-O-S-C-H.
	Fifi now is his name.
	And he got a transition.
	I believe, I don't want to talk out of pocket.
	Joe's one of the most, is one of the smartest and just really most, it was really a captivating.
	Yeah.
	I don't know him as much as a woman.
	And I don't think it's, I don't know if there's a difference between knowing someone when they are a man or a woman.
	Wouldn't that be crazy?
	Because I had a buddy that used to clean the pool over at my friend's house, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And they would come every year, right?
	And there was a big guy, right?
	And he was awesome, right?
	And then one year he came, dude, and he lost a lot of weight.
	And I was out there just catching some D, right?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Vitamin.
	Vitamin.
	And you're out there all getting spit roasted.
	Why can't there be even just one dude in the hypothesis?
	Catching some D. You go to extremes.
	You just feel like if you're catching some D, you're getting more than one.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, if you're getting a D, it's different.
	Catching some.
	I guess I thought about it like the way vitamin D is like you're being bombarded with sunlight.
	I guess I was thinking bombarded with dick.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know, that's why I went right to Spin Roasted.
	You're right.
	You're right.
	Not bad.
	It's just even hypothetically, I don't want to be doing that much day stuff.
	But what happened then?
	Oh, and when he lost so much weight, I didn't, first of all, I didn't really know it was him.
	I'm like, who's this guy who's just talking to me?
	Yeah.
	Did you have three friends?
	Who's this guy that's just talking to me so much?
	And then I was like, oh my God, he seemed like a different guy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So that's what I wonder, too.
	If you met, if it was like a before, if you met, talked to someone before and after, how much changes differently?
	Like, because, dude, that's a journey to visit.
	Well, that's the thing.
	I remember when the first time I went to Florida when I was a kid, and I was like, this is going to be crazy.
	Yeah.
	But imagine every cell in your body being like, you know what I'm saying?
	We're going to San Fran.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	We're going to San Francisco, brother.
	Or we're going to like, yeah, Brooklyn.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I think there's probably some, you probably just feel more, I would just guess you'd feel more comfortable.
	You'd probably feel like more yourself.
	You know, I can't speak, I can't speak to being trans, whatever, but, you know, I'm sure you're just like, maybe even more pleasant to be around because it's like anything.
	Imagine like hiding something and then being, and also it's like a hard thing.
	Like a lot of people don't understand it.
	A lot of people are, can be like, probably in your fam, like coming out as gay is hard enough.
	Imagine being like, nah, I'm to you, to like somebody who would have a problem with being gay, it's like coming out is five times gay.
	You know what I mean?
	Like going, yeah, I'm a girl.
	Yeah.
	I'm so gay.
	I'm a girl.
	Like that's what a, that's what like a, you know, like a, like I'm chasing my own tail.
	Yeah, like you're like, you're like the ultimate warrior of gay.
	Like bring up when the ultimate warrior came in the ring.
	There was nothing like that, bro.
	Dude, it was electric.
	Yeah.
	There was, yeah, when that happened, that changed the scene.
	I bet there's a lot of gay people that also are like, man, they're stealing our friction.
	Dude, wrestling is gay as hell, dude.
	That is huge right now.
	Gay dude's been like, what are we going to do, guys?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Being a white gay guy at this point is like, you're not even gay.
	You're lucky Annie.
	And maybe that's what some of these guys are doing.
	Well, I would go costume.
	I mean, yeah, dude, wrestling is so gay.
	It's like they're so ripped, gay.
	They got a lot of energy, cocaine, hanging out in their underwear, gay.
	It's a lot of gay shit.
	I don't know.
	Some of it looks straight too, but it's like, yeah, I don't know.
	Truck stops straight.
	Manhandling a couple of little twinks.
	God.
	The Ultimate Warrior.
	Well, here's the interesting part about things.
	Now Ultimate Warrior is kind of becoming like a gay icon.
	I see it, dude.
	I could totally see it.
	All the fucking, all the like makeup, all the little mask.
	He's so ripped.
	He's colorful.
	And I wonder, what does nature have playing?
	Because nature's done some wild stuff.
	We used to be cavemen, right?
	We used to be monkeys, right?
	So it's like, what is that?
	It's a lot of rape in nature.
	Fucked up.
	We're much more civilized now.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	But I feel like we're just a fucking screen.
	Right behind a screen door where I'm supposed to.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Power goes out for like two weeks in a row.
	Shit's going to go bad.
	Dude, in 40 minutes, power goes out.
	I'd be holding my sister's hand.
	Well, again, that might be cold.
	That might be have to, again, cultural, having to do with, you know, saying cooter.
	No, it was to make sure she's okay.
	But it's like, how, you know, well, you're just like, dude, that's another thing.
	Or there are a lot of power outage gays out there.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	It doesn't even take long.
	The lights flicker.
	You're like, the hell, man.
	Some guy just backed up against the light switch.
	It wasn't even an outage.
	Yeah, yeah.
	The garage door opener just tripped it.
	Dude, calm down.
	It was not a cloud in the sky.
	What's another news thing?
	Were there a lot of like secret gay guys where you were growing up?
	Well, when I was growing up, they had, you know, I was talking about this before, but they had a rest area back behind our, they had a river back behind us, and they had a rest area back there.
	And a lot of gay men.
	Float in on the Lacey River.
	It was drugged.
	People were back there drugging.
	Nice.
	But you do enough drugs.
	Absolutely.
	You do gay.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And so that's when they, and they had a lot of guys are, they had, and they had these dudes with like one of those potato launchers, like those, and they would, every time, yeah, if they had two men that got a little too, shoot a couple spuds at them, they'd just fire a tot at them.
	And it wasn't like trying to hit them, but it was like, hey, you know, the way you hit a dog with a rolled up newspaper.
	I would even say that.
	I would even say that.
	No.
	Just a little warning, a shot across the bow.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Just a shot.
	Just something to let you know.
	Hey, fellas, we know you're here.
	We see what's going on.
	Yeah, we respect it.
	Yeah.
	But also, we know you're just drugged up right now.
	Right, right, right.
	And we want to.
	You don't want to come to come drunk.
	Yeah.
	Thinking about what you're, you know, how you're going to explain this to your fiancé.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	You don't want to come to and be like, damn, I didn't know they had a Cinnabon in town.
	They started making savory Cinnabons.
	Fuck, dude.
	All right.
	What would you have there, Bubba?
	I'm trying to remember what was happening in the news.
	I'm trying to remember if we had any secret gay guys in Greektown.
	Oh, well, that happened, and then they had a guy who was mentally...
	He had a bicycle, right?
	And he had a baby.
	He was mentally handicapped.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Right?
	Full downs, what are we talking?
	Little touch-ups.
	We had a couple guys.
	Yeah, he had ups.
	So he was like, kind of like, you know, he was kind of like hide and go special kind of thing.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You didn't know yet.
	I know what you're saying.
	You had to infiltrate.
	You had to get near the fence to know.
	You had to do the Ren and Stimpy close-up to really see it from far away.
	Far away.
	It was normal.
	Bro, so, and then this is what happened.
	So he and he, and he would ride around town, right?
	His parents got him a bike or something when he was like 30. Okay.
	For good behavior.
	I'm not sure.
	I don't know what he was like at home.
	But his parents, so he would always be in town, right?
	He'd cruise in the streets.
	Everybody was like, he's gay, you know?
	And the story was he had like, they put a baby seat on his bike, right?
	Okay.
	And so there was like an old wives tale or whatever that he had a husband, like a little husband that had left him.
	Oh, that sucks.
	So there was like, there was kind of two sides for him.
	There were some people who were like, you know, get these queers out of here, you know?
	And then there was other people that were just like, you know, kind of heartbroken for him.
	Of course.
	Because here he was, that he had somebody that he'd lost, you know, or that had left.
	And so people were always like.
	So the baby seat was for the little husband.
	Yeah.
	It's not for the baby.
	Okay.
	So we're talking, he's a baby-sized husband.
	Well, that's what people said.
	He had a small husband.
	Like a Filipino guy, or what are we thinking?
	I don't know.
	Did you guys say, what kind of, how many Asians did you have grown up?
	Doesn't feel like there was anything.
	We didn't have any.
	It was a rumored Asian actually.
	Bring it up, buddy.
	Sure.
	Yeah.
	Remember when Pizza Hut had those unique rooftops?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	You still see it.
	You go to a town and it's like a bank and it's like, wait, that's a fucking pizza hut.
	Or like a mattress discounters.
	It's like, I know that roof, motherfucker.
	Yeah, it's beautiful.
	They used to be fucking deep dish in here.
	Oh, there you go, right there.
	God, it was beautiful.
	It really was.
	Well, one of those.
	It's a travesty that they're not, they don't do the sit-down pizza huts anymore.
	These are all takeaways.
	It sucks.
	That is one of the saddest things.
	It fucking sucks.
	When you grow up poor, sitting down in a pizza hut.
	That was Thanksgiving.
	Truly, dude, those little red cups, the stained glass.
	And some of the pizza pans, they even had like a cork or something on it, I think.
	Underneath.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	It felt as the first time.
	They would bring out the like cast iron.
	And you're like, oh my God.
	Yeah.
	Who are we?
	Yeah, this is crap.
	I've never seen this.
	Yeah, this is Titanic.
	Truly, dude.
	It was like that and like our big place was like Applebee's when it first came out.
	Oh, yeah.
	Like they first got to East Point Mall in Baltimore in Dundalk, Maryland.
	My family would go there and then Chili's as well.
	But in those days, it was Pizza Hutter or Applebee's.
	And that was like that was when we were fucking.
	Oh, that's fancy.
	Yeah, that'll make you just coke.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	But one of those had burned down.
	And so that rooftop, that unique roof was fresh on the ground.
	No.
	And so people, I guess a rumor got started that an Asian family moved in town or whatever.
	Because it looks like a dojo.
	Because the shape is dojo-like.
	It had an Asian shape.
	You know?
	Like a bimbapazoid or something.
	Or whatever.
	Yeah.
	Bipimapazoid or something.
	Oh, are you trying to say bimbap?
	Yeah, is that it?
	That's like the Korean stone bowl.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It had an Asian shape.
	And so people were like, yeah, they had an Asian guy over in Slaidell, Louisiana.
	So I remember we saved up money.
	We fucking saved up money to get a taxi to go over there to try and catch him.
	Or just to see him.
	Yeah.
	I remember we got there and we're like, fuck.
	Do you legitimately think you could have made money showing like if you had like a guy from Thailand in like a little enclosure, could you charge people from Slidell to look at him?
	Not now.
	But back then?
	Not much, but yeah.
	But maybe like a quarter just to take a peek.
	Oh, I think for 50 cents, people would stop by.
	But now a lot of people don't know Louisiana has some of the most Vietnamese people in the whole world.
	Really?
	Because of the fishing, yeah.
	We had the first Vietnamese House of Representative.
	Hell yeah.
	House of Representative.
	Yeah.
	Representative.
	But yeah, back then they didn't have anything.
	Well, in Houston, there's so many Vietnamese people because I don't know why, but they got good-ass Viet food, dude.
	Do they?
	Yeah, Houston has a crazy Vietnamese population.
	I was just there and I was like, damn, I would love to get a chubby Vietnamese wife.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	That would be awesome.
	Grew up around black people.
	Just a lot of culture shock.
	The Viets and blacks get along, do you think?
	I think in Houston, just cause that's, who's there, you know?
	And I think there's definitely, I can, I would love a mixed Vietnamese black wife.
	Yeah.
	Big titties, knows how to cook pho.
	Would be awesome.
	Yeah.
	I really would like a little something because everyone in my family.
	Barba Pho.
	Boba Pho.
	Somebody made fucking barba pho.
	Barba.
	Ooh, ribs and some fucking pho.
	Barba pho did we send, did we just invent bobafo?
	We really did, dude.
	We really did.
	Kentucky pho chicken.
	Kentucky pho chicken.
	There's no end to it, brother.
	That's my dream.
	Yeah.
	I want, because my brothers both married white women and nothing wrong with that.
	But I just feel like I got to get a little something going in the world.
	But are you a white denier, do you think?
	I think I am in some ways.
	Not denier, but like I just think like it would be fun to get a little something different in the family photos.
	Yeah.
	You know, just a little mix it up a little bit.
	I just think that would be kind of nice.
	But then like my dream would be like a Greek girl.
	Like you know Yannis at the Tacumbo, he's Greek.
	He grew up in Athens, but he's ethnically a Nigerian.
	Like a Greek.
	He's an Athnican American, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I think that's right.
	Athnican.
	Athenian American, maybe.
	Atheniacan.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	My dream would be like somebody who speaks Greek, but like just doesn't look, you know what I mean?
	Just to get a little, just to get the like.
	Like Memphis Greek.
	Get something fun in the bloodline.
	Mix it up.
	You know?
	Well, that, I think, look, I've long said that we're all going to, it's in three, four, or five generations, it's going to be a lot of like Ben Simmons-y.
	Sure.
	Very.
	Well, even your sneaky.
	Because you just said your dad's.
	Right.
	My father's from Bluefields, Nicaragua.
	And so.
	Bluefields?
	Yeah.
	That's hilarious.
	It's like a coastal area.
	Bring it up.
	I've never been.
	Really?
	You've never been to Nicaragua at all.
	Dog, you got to go, though.
	I know that'd be interesting.
	But see, even what I'm saying is like, you got a little, you just got a little something in the mix.
	So many people do, yeah, absolutely.
	That's the thing.
	Like, even when you look back on like you talk about like slavery reparation, it's almost like I wish they just had some of the invoices.
	Yeah, yeah.
	So we could be like, look.
	Or if somebody's named Fruit of the Loom, then they're, you know, Larry Fruit of the Loom, you're but, you know, you get some underwear.
	Donnie Haynes.
	Yeah.
	You got busted.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I didn't even know.
	Bluefields seems like a fake name.
	Nicaragua.
	Yeah.
	Dude, you got to go.
	That'd be sick.
	I mean, I don't know if you got to go to Bluefields.
	I don't know if it's cool or not.
	But you should at least go to Nicaragua.
	I've met some people on airplanes and stuff, and they've told me about it.
	Fuck yeah, dude.
	But yeah, my father would speak Spanish a lot and he would go to, he worked, it was like a.
	I don't know.
	He didn't work that much, I think.
	The opposite of the stereotype.
	I think there was a time when he did.
	I mean, he was 70 when I met him.
	My dad was very old.
	Yeah, yeah, that is.
	So yeah.
	That's another wrinkle.
	I can't say that in any more podcast.
	I've said it 70 times like that at 70. But it is still, I mean, I know what you mean, but it's still so interesting.
	Like, I don't know how in-depth you've gotten with it, but that is like a, that's something to explore so much, having such an old-ass dad.
	It just made me so aware.
	I was just like, is dad okay?
	Yeah, dude.
	What's going on?
	Like, it was never like, am I okay?
	You know, like, oh, you really felt mortality at a time when most kids don't even consider it.
	Oh, I was scared of everything.
	Yeah.
	I was scared.
	Because, like, even grandpa like, if when grandparents die, that's usually a kid's first entree into, oh, wait, this shit might not last forever.
	But it's like an old-ass grandparent.
	When it's your fucking dad, you're like, wait, the guy who's supposed to protect me is old as shit.
	And my mom was very, she'd be like, you should get to school.
	You should, well, you should get to school.
	Your dad's going to die.
	She would just drop it into whatever.
	Yeah, you want your dad's last memory of you being cutting class?
	Get some good grades.
	Dude, he's on death's door.
	Yeah.
	I developed this concept in my head that if I did everything perfect, that my dad would stay alive.
	That's fucking wild, dude.
	Isn't that crazy?
	That's like light OCD, it sounds like.
	I didn't realize that till like last year.
	I did that ayahuasca stuff, and it made me think.
	And that came to my, I was like, man.
	When I thought that, I hadn't thought it for like my whole life.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Except me when I was young.
	I just burst down crying.
	Yeah, dude.
	Reminds you of that shit.
	It's so fucked up, a little kid having that, carrying that.
	You should be thinking about fucking baseball cards and Trish Stratus and everything okay.
	My dad will say.
	Yeah, I think it's just part of it is like you're just heartbroken for the kid as in a child.
	Of course, I'm not trying to get into self-pity, but interesting.
	No, that's interesting.
	I'm not paying it all, dude, dude, dude.
	No, that's wild.
	You deserve to be like, damn, that was fucked up.
	It's interesting, man, what's going on in the world.
	I think the scare, I just get so scared.
	I get so activated about how our media use it, just trickily uses stuff against us because they don't seem to have a real care about the general well-being of people.
	Oh, yeah.
	I mean, especially once we go to like 24-hour news and you're selling advertising, it's like when the news was like a couple times a day and we're telling you just what happened and we're not worried about selling ads, then yeah, you could probably trust it.
	But now it's like everyone does have an agenda and you do kind of have to like cut through what the fuck's being said.
	Yeah.
	And corporate media is just so, it's just like they're invested in keeping like everything the same and not really helping anyone and not telling you what's fucked up.
	Yeah, they want to keep in the same pattern too.
	It's just like you've been, oh, your race keeps you down or you're where you're from, or your Christianity keeps you, or just, it's just something, you know?
	It's always something.
	And it's just, if you look at the patterns, it's like, damn, that's the same pattern.
	Yeah, it's just, it's, I think they're invested in the status quo and the like, you know, just, yeah, I think shit that doesn't really affect you and they're not, they don't want to talk about, I don't know, shit that our day-to-day, our day-to-day, the shit, the fucked up shit that's like,
	damn, you know, our government did this, like, they fucked up this many countries, like, you know, like all the CIA shit, all the, like, you know, just, just, again, I, like inequality shit, like, culture war stuff is easier because it's like, cause it's so divisive.
	People feel it so deeply, but ultimately it doesn't matter.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, we all, it's like going back to the same shit.
	It's like, yeah, you're, like, your dad's from Nicaragua.
	It's like, even like, we're all the same.
	We're all the same people.
	Everyone's exactly the same.
	Or not everyone's exactly the same, but we all have something in us that's, we can relate to everyone.
	And we are different in ways that are cool.
	Like, that's even going back to what I was saying about, it'd be cool to have somebody from a different culture in my family.
	Like, I feel like I have to bring that into my family just because it's like, I don't know.
	I feel like I have a better time when I'm with people different from me.
	Oh, yeah.
	Dude, you ever get the nuggets and they accidentally put a fry in that bit?
	Yeah, dude.
	Give me a couple of fucking fries.
	Give me a spicy nug.
	But even with comedy, like to bring the conversation kind of back to comedy, it's like, I like when crowds are different from, like, I like seeing people that I have nothing, like that you wouldn't think it's just some like bro.
	Like older couples have started coming to my shows or like people, different races, whatever.
	It's like, and even like comedy shows, it's like, I like doing shows with comics that are not like me.
	Like, I like bringing people who have different experiences.
	Even on my podcast, it's like, let me get some gay dudes.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, let me get some gay dudes.
	Let me get some like.
	We need some gays in here, huh?
	Get some gays in here, dude.
	Damn.
	We got some good gays.
	Get Matteo in here.
	He's a man.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, I think.
	It's cool, but it is cool to be around people that are different than you and just kind of like soak all that shit up and have a good ass time, eat some different foods, suck some different colored nipples.
	They should have gay foods.
	Yeah, what would be a gay food?
	I think a clear broth.
	Anything that easy on the old button.
	Anything easy?
	A clear broth.
	Yeah, that could be part of the barbafo.
	Yeah.
	It's like just a clear broth for our gay friends.
	Yeah, gum.
	Yeah, dude.
	I just want to, it's so interesting to think, like, what is history going to be like?
	But it's interesting with cult with ethnicities because we truly only win as a people, right?
	If we all win, right?
	Yeah.
	That's the only way that like humanity, if you hope that a thousand years for whatever it is, that everybody, that's why sometimes I think it's almost like different ethnicities and cultures have like different parts of like the per whatever is going to bring everybody to people.
	Yeah.
	We got to come together.
	I mean, I do think you're right in terms of like, it's got to be like a collective thing.
	Yeah.
	Like people realize, like, I think most people, I think America is held down a little bit by like the richest in our country where it's like shit is hard, you know, the inequality is crazy.
	They have a lot of resources.
	Like, you know, these motherfuckers have islands.
	And it's like people don't have fucking water.
	And it's like, or, you know, people can't like, don't have a living wage.
	Or like, you look at how Walmart treats their fucking workers that are busting their asses.
	And it's like, they're on fucking food stamps.
	Like, you got, yeah.
	It's like, come on.
	And so I do think there's like a collective thing where it's like, if everybody realizes that there's a few people fucking our shit up, you could, you know, there is like a, there is like a, you know, that's why I think like labor unions are good where it's like, you could just be like, hey, we do all the fucking work.
	Like you should just, you know, have to like, there's this weird thing where it's like, even like child labor is back in certain places.
	Like that's how much they don't want to pay people a living wage.
	They're like, they're rolling back like child protection laws.
	It's kind of fucking wild, dude.
	Wow.
	I didn't know that.
	Yeah, there's a couple, there's a couple of states that they just started doing that shit and it was fucking, it was fucking crazy, dude.
	But I do think that it's, it's fat, yeah, it's like, how can people survive on these, on, on, on, on wages, you know?
	Yeah.
	No, it's fucked up.
	It's also like some jobs are like stair-step jobs, like to advance and stuff.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But for some people, maybe they're not these days.
	It's just, it's, it's, it's, child labor laws are under attack in states across the country amid increasing child labor violations.
	Lawmakers must act to strengthen standards.
	Yeah, they're like, and they're just, even the laws that we have on, on file, they're just kind of like ignoring them and shit.
	It's kind of crazy.
	I think we're in a bit, we're in like, I think.
	It feels lawless right now.
	Shit is kind of crumbling.
	And it's like, like, we even are like basic shit.
	It's like the infrastructure in this country sucks dick.
	Yeah.
	The roads are bad.
	Amtrak?
	Yeah.
	It's like, yeah.
	I mean, don't get me started on that shit.
	I'd rather FedEx myself somewhere.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, put me in a, poke some holes in a box.
	Easy.
	Yeah.
	Which sucks, too, because in this country, there used to be so much rail, but that was, I mean.
	Amtrak was fun as fuck.
	Dude, that's the other thing.
	It's like, when you go back in time, you look at history, it's like car companies destroyed rail in this country.
	But then they let them lobby against it so that they could, so that it wouldn't even be competitive.
	I just wonder also, are we sitting on the down or do we get to a point where greed and that sort of thing has happened so much that it's like this is where you end up?
	Absolutely.
	I think that's the logical end of like always putting profits over everything.
	It's like, I'm not saying you shouldn't make a, you know, make a living, you shouldn't make a profit, but it's like, there is something fucked up when it's like, that's the only goal.
	I think you make a good living, you have a product that makes a good amount of money.
	You should also pay your fucking work.
	Like, I have a problem with Amazon, but if Amazon just took some of their profits and paid their fucking workers better and made sure they all got like health insurance and shit, it'd be like, that's the best company.
	Now, their profits would be a little worse, but it's like, I think you could, it should be a twin goal of like make profits and provide for the people that like work for you and shit.
	But yeah, it's interesting.
	It's like, there's a lot.
	It's like, cause you ask somebody who's a business partner and they'll, you know, they'll say, like Mike Rowe was on here and he said, well, people just don't want to do jobs.
	They don't want to work anymore.
	It's so, and there can be an article that's created to kind of make you think anything.
	Of course.
	That's the scariest part.
	It's like, and to not know, like we don't, you know, we know our instincts.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	But I think it's unbelievable that there's, that there are, they should put a cap on wealth, I believe.
	I'm with you actually fully.
	Like when you look at like the, like how we got out of the Great Depression and shit and all that kind of stuff, it's like after a certain point, it's like, you look, it could be a crazy number, $20 million a year, whatever.
	It's like after a certain point, it's like, okay, tax that rate high and then fucking provide basics for people.
	Yeah.
	You know, and it's like, and it doesn't have to be like poverty.
	Like, it doesn't have to be like no one's allowed to make any money, but it's like, it's, I do think it's in, it's like a moral issue in America that we have so much homelessness and so much of it is like fucking people that were in the army.
	You know, it's like, it's shit that, and like how much teachers make.
	It's like, why the fuck is a, is a teacher getting paid $34,000 a year, but like a consultant?
	You know what I mean?
	Like some fucking fake job where they tell you to like, oh, slash prices to make more profits.
	Why do they make $200,000 a year or whatever?
	It's like, that's the shit where I'm just feel like, I don't feel like a very political person, but it's like when I start talking, it sounds like, it sounds like I'm a fucking communist, but I'm just like, no, man, just like, we should provide for the weakest in a society when we have so much money.
	And that's, that's like my belief is that like, yeah, we should just provide for like people.
	And I think you see it with like, you know, you still want people to work.
	You still want that, right?
	Of course.
	But then like, it's, you know, I don't know.
	There's a lot of like nuance to all of it.
	But I don't think that, but then also you have people that'll go and have 20 kids.
	Yeah.
	And they don't have any social responsibility to the fact that when you do that and have no plan or anything, that the drain you're putting on society is unbelievable.
	Sure.
	You know, just with your own real cooter.
	Of course, once you got the cooter fucking humming, once you got that hot cooter humming.
	So I used to think they should take your nuts away when you're born, give them back when you graduate high school.
	That would be a great idea.
	That would be awesome.
	I would love to be able to put my nuts on ice for a little bit.
	Oh, yeah.
	And make Disney put it to music.
	is doing triple axles.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Ooh.
	Yeah.
	And Axel Rose is doing the music.
	Fuck yeah, dude.
	Get him in there with his little bandana.
	He's looking puffy these days.
	Stavros, thanks so much, man.
	Dude, it's been going through a lot, do you?
	Absolutely.
	This is a great episode, dude.
	I mean, we even got serious about stuff.
	So it's we did, yeah.
	We're not serious guys, really, though.
	Oh, I know.
	But it is fun to think about this shit.
	Yeah.
	It's okay to get serious sometimes.
	I think so.
	Yeah.
	I think there's just a lot going on, too.
	Yeah, it's a strange time.
	And then how much of it is just a trap where there's just like, hey, look at this while something else is going on, you know?
	Yeah.
	We're fighting wherever, you know, people are arguing about, you know, a young, you know, trans beer can.
	Yeah, well, that's exactly.
	And meanwhile, there's like half, you know, they're shipping away a ton of our money or they're doing this or, you know.
	Fully, dude.
	That's weird.
	I think it's all, I think all that culture war stuff, all the, especially gay and trans issues, it's textbook let's get you to not pay attention to the economic issues that are actually ruining your life and making you this angry.
	So I don't know.
	I mean, I think that's a big, like I was a big Bernie guy when it came to the election last time, and I thought, like, it may, I think him versus Trump actually would have made a lot of sense because it's like there's anger.
	Like, that's, there was a populism behind Trump that the Democrats would have been smart to like do the to pick their populist candidate and the one saying like, no, big business is fucking us.
	Like, we have to fucking like, we have to fight back against this or they'll take advantage of us.
	And I do think that, I mean, it just comes down to that, man.
	When people are like angry, it's easy to keep them distracted with shit that ultimately guy wants to wear a dress.
	Let the fucking guy wear a dress.
	But like, give me health care.
	Like, make sure make it so that if my grandma gets like, if my mom gets a treatable skin cancer, she gets to live and not go bankrupt.
	And that, and it's like, when people are so mad about the fact, you know, they're so riled up about all the negative shit in their lives that it's easy to channel that into anger against, you know, groups that are kind of fucking marginalized and whose lives are hard enough already.
	But everybody's life is kind of fucking up.
	Everybody, but that's another thing, too.
	It's like this constant, like, yeah, and the quality of life is going down so bad.
	The healthcare can't just be, you know, they can't focus only on the fact, like, I don't know.
	It's just interesting.
	It's like, because kids can go to a therapist now and say something and the therapist can put them on a drug.
	Do the parents have the ability to stop them?
	But that's crazy.
	If your kid's like 12 and he's like, I feel like a man.
	That's a woman.
	I don't know.
	But you may have a closer connection to it.
	Yeah.
	And look, none of these issues are like cut and dry.
	That's the other thing.
	It's like, these are case by case.
	And again, not that many fucking statistically, not that many.
	And that's the thing, even us talking about it this much.
	Oh, God, no, we fucked up.
	Hey, what are you going to do?
	The important thing is people watch the Crowdwork special.
	Yeah.
	That's important.
	Yeah, no matter how you're, no matter what's going on in your genetics, in a diaper.
	Come, any kind of genitals, come to this fat rascal tour.
	We won't check to see what you got, you know, unless you want me to.
	I might think it's going to be.
	It'd be crazy to start checking people.
	Yeah, what you got in there?
	Empty out your purse, sir.
	Awesome nuts, man.
	So, yeah, dude.
	All right, cool, man.
	We'll go check it out.
	I think this might be the longest episode I've ever done.
	Hell yeah, dude.
	I got nothing.
	I'm down.
	This is awesome.
	This is fun as shit.
	It's hot in here, though.
	It is hot.
	I had a hot flight here.
	I was napping like one of those, like, you know, when you're like not, it's so hot, your body's just, like, having like a fever nap almost.
	I was like, I was like, do I have a fever?
	Am I about to like give fucking Theo COVID?
	But I was just hot in the airplane, it turns out.
	Don't worry.
	But yeah, but I'm feeling, I can't wait to crack that door and just feel a breeze.
	That's our reward for this podcast, just feeling that breeze.
	That's it.
	We're like two of those kids that have to mine for the iPhones or whatever.
	And their lunch break is just cool air.
	Who wants lunch?
	Don't fill up.
	Yeah.
	Don't get your lungs too comfortable.
	You got another 12 hours in the mines.
	God, dude.
	And it's so sick.
	We're even laughing about that.
	I know.
	It sucks.
	But we are not really laughing about it.
	God bless you guys, bro.
	Thank you, Stavros, for being here, man.
	Thank you, bro.
	Yeah, I'm so excited to see the new special.
	It comes out tomorrow.
	Tomorrow?
	Yep.
	Crowd Rogue special just for fun.
	The real Big Dick special is coming in the fall.
	I'm recording it in May at the Paramount in Austin.
	I can't wait.
	Yeah.
	That'll be really fun.
	And it'll come out sometime in the fall.
	But just a little something to tie the people over.
	You're going to go to Rogan's New Club?
	I went, dude.
	I was checking out the Paramount.
	I was scouting it on opening night.
	And so I wasn't on the shows, but I went to check it out.
	Dude, it's fucking awesome.
	Really?
	Dude, it's so like you walked in there and it was like, whoa.
	There was like an energy there.
	I can't wait to go back and do spots there for sure.
	Yeah.
	I'm excited.
	I'm going to pick up some extra spots there when I'm down in Austin.
	Hell yeah, dude.
	Congrats on the.
	Oh, fuck.
	Congrats on the specials, man.
	Thank you, brother.
	All right, stop.
	Bruce.
	Now I'm just footing on the breeze.
	And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be caught to stone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.
	I found I can feel it in my bones.

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