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Oct. 14, 2021 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

01:54:31

E362 Brian Barczyk

Brian Barczyk is a reptile expert that owns the reptile zoo "The Reptarium". Theo talks with Brian about snakes, reptiles, catching crocodiles, and what drugs NOT to be on when handling them. Brian Barczyk YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4zS1wbO81p59CxKL7CQAcA The Reptarium YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/AnimalBytesTV New Merch: http://theovonstore.com New Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour Podcastville mugs and digital prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com Support our Sponsors: The Zebra: http://thezebra.com/THEO Public Rec: http://PublicRec.com and use promo code THEO for 10% off Urbanista: http://urbanista.com/theo to get 20% off your entire order BlockFi: http://blockfi.com/THEO bonus $25 in crypto after you make first purchase with credit card Egnyte: http://egnyte.com to start your free trial Better Help: betterhelp.com/THEO 10% off first month Liquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to tpwproducer@gmail.com. Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastw... Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEK... Producer: Spencer Liautaud https://instagram.com/adventuresofspe... Producer: Colin Reiner https://instagram.com/colin_reiner See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	You guys are always supportive.
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	Today's guest is a man who, well, he knows a lot about things I don't know about.
	I've been dealing with issues that he would know about recently.
	He's one of the most popular and celebrated reptile and animalia men in the world.
	I'm happy to have him slither through our doors today.
	It is Mr. Brian Barchek for me to set that parking break and let myself all myself.
	Music Yeah, man.
	So I guess I think my top fears with snakes are, and I don't know, do people, do people come to you suddenly like, well, I feel like, I feel like snakes create so much fear in me that right when I see you, I want to tell you about it.
	Right.
	Yeah, you know.
	Like you're the middleman for.
	Yeah.
	You know, and I'm really good at getting people over their fears, right?
	You know, like, that's one of the things I pride myself on.
	You know, I mean, every single week, we have dozens and dozens of people that come to my reptile zoo that are like, I am terrified.
	And I'm like, your pace, but I guarantee you, by the time we're done, you're going to be holding snakes.
	They're like, never, never going to happen.
	Then they're holding like a 12-foot python, you know, by the end.
	So I'm telling you, when I get you to my place, you're going to be holding a giant snake.
	I'm telling you.
	Dang, man.
	Dang.
	I don't know if I want it.
	You know, I think snakes, for some reason, create so much fear in me.
	Why is it that snake is that fear animal?
	You know, I think it's, you know, I mean, it goes back to probably a bunch of things, right?
	Biblical, number one, number two.
	You either love them or hate them, right?
	You know what I mean?
	And there's that thing I always talk about.
	Like, you know, I think Howard Stern once said the thing similar where it's like, if you love snakes, you want to talk to me.
	If you hate snakes, you want to talk to me more.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, they're just so interesting, right?
	But for me, I've just loved them my whole life.
	I mean, like, my first memory as a kid when I was two years old was of a ball python at the zoo, right?
	And I've just been obsessed with them.
	Yeah, I was three years old, four years old out in the woods collecting snakes.
	Is that a Rescue 911 episode?
	Do you remember that Rescue 911 episode?
	no, I didn't watch it.
	No, where that snake, I remember as a kid, it was like the scariest one.
	Like a baby was playing with a snake.
	Oh, crap.
	And it wasn't like an Indian baby like they do.
	Yeah, like they do.
	It was like a regular, just street, like white baby.
	You know, local.
	It was a big snake?
	Huh?
	It was a big snake?
	It was, here we go.
	Rescue 911 Snake Baby, YouTube.
	Oh, gosh.
	This is what did it for a lot of America.
	In the small town, this is what did it.
	This is my Paris.
	This is the Paris I'm from.
	I didn't even know it happened there.
	Come on now.
	Lil Terry got bit, man.
	My God, Lil Terry got bit.
	Okay, that's good.
	Holy Jesus Christ, dude.
	I didn't realize that happened to my area until just now.
	So I can see now why I remember just sitting there with my mom and watching that, and I knew it was going to be a rough go.
	Well, what they did there is they used two different snakes, right?
	The one snake was a water snake, harmless.
	The other one was a cotton mouse.
	So they look real similar just for the scare factor.
	So, yeah.
	That's what the most media does, though, right?
	Right, the media makes it scary.
	The Bible made it scary.
	Well, a snake bit somebody in the first eight pages of the Bible.
	So that's probably yeah.
	We didn't start off well.
	Yeah, you guys didn't start off well.
	Yeah, but I'm here to change everyone's opinion.
	That's my thing, you know.
	Okay.
	I tell you, they're great, man.
	Do you feel that that's kind of like your purpose, like a little bit of your mission is to.
	Yeah, I mean, I think so.
	I think so.
	I mean, like, listen, there's nothing that makes me happier than someone changing my.
	I had like a 75-year-old woman come in about a year ago, and she's like, I am terrified of snakes.
	She said, "I've been having nightmares about snakes since I was like two years old." And she said, and I started like But then she's like, so I started like looking online, find your videos.
	She goes, I'm starting to watch your videos, kind of exposure therapy.
	And then she booked a private tour with me.
	And she says, you know, listen, I don't even know if I could touch a snake, but I'm coming here for an hour with you.
	And I said, let's just take it slow.
	We took about probably 40 minutes just to walk around.
	I'd take snakes out.
	Then I'd eventually let her like touch a snake.
	Then eventually she held her first snake.
	By the time she was done, she's holding giant snakes and stuff like that.
	And she's actually come back two or three times since because she's like, now I love them.
	You know, so yeah, I think it's something I'm really passionate about.
	And do you, so you said when you were small, y'all had a, you ran across a ball python when you were little?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it was at the zoo, right?
	You know, it was at the zoo.
	It's my first memory.
	I was a kid.
	First memory.
	My mom said I was two years old.
	I have a crazy memory, right?
	But literally, I remember that cage.
	I remember the smell in the air.
	I remember everything.
	Like it was like, and from that time on, I was just obsessed.
	And no one in my family had snakes.
	Everyone thought I was crazy.
	You know what I mean?
	Like I loved them.
	And my mom hated them.
	She was terrified of them.
	And finally, when I was 15 years old, after whatever, my entire life begging her for snakes, she finally let me get a snake.
	And it turned out it was a Burmese python, which is, by the way, the worst snake you could possibly get is a first snake because they get like 18 foot.
	So like my first snake, it was a little baby, but the thing ended up getting like 18 foot, you know?
	And anyways, long story short, I was like living in my mom's basement at the time.
	I was like 15, worked at a pet shop.
	And were you doing drugs or anything at the time?
	Oh, yeah.
	I don't do drugs now.
	I don't do drugs now.
	But yeah, but it wasn't because of snakes.
	It was just because I was a rocks guy.
	Right, right, yeah, yeah.
	Whatever.
	I'm just trying to get the whole picture.
	I don't know if it's a guy, like a kind of a nerdy kid down, you know, I don't even know if it's a science kid down there doing volcanoes, doing snakes, or if it's a kid like, you know what I'm saying, who's listening to some Megadeth and some ACDC a little bit of gas and then petting something, you know?
	Yeah, well, you know, I was always pretty good about not messing with the snakes when I was, you know, partying up a little bit.
	But don't get me wrong, I had a snake room, and by the time I was like 17, I had like 200 snakes in my ma's basement.
	She like didn't know.
	She just wouldn't come downstairs, you know?
	And when you have 10 snakes, what's 12 snakes?
	What's 15 snakes?
	You know what I mean?
	Yes, more snakes.
	But yeah, I ended up having like 200 snakes.
	But the thing is, dude, literally, I started breeding snakes.
	I was 17 years old.
	I made like 40 grand in my ma's basement when I was 17 breeding snakes.
	Yeah, so I was able to look at it.
	When you're buying them, are you meeting people outdoors?
	Are you meeting people indoors?
	How are you getting rid of these?
	You're showing up.
	You got a little, is it in like a briefcase?
	Like, how are you, even, where do you even meet anybody?
	Surprised how many people you, I've done a lot of deals in the Walmart parking lots.
	There's no doubt about that, but not anymore.
	But that was pre-internet.
	So, yeah, there was like reptile shows and like, you know, like reptile conferences and stuff.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Now, I've been to one of those before, and that was really, oh, that was so alarming, dude.
	It was so scary.
	And the whole thing just really, I think about snakes, it's the element of surprise, man.
	That was the same thing that happened in my kitchen the other day.
	A snake came through, and I didn't know he's there.
	Like an animal, you know, a little, you know, you see a puppy, you see a little falcon or something realistic.
	You know, it's a little bit more like, oh, look at this.
	You know, it's more noticeable.
	Maybe it have a bell on its neck.
	But if you see a snake, you don't see.
	There's no, like, they don't whistle.
	There's no like email in advance.
	There's no information.
	You don't hear it licking out of a bowl.
	There's no, and then it's just there.
	I think it's, it's like you're playing this game of hide and go seek that you didn't know you were playing.
	Yeah.
	And then you fucking lost.
	That's how I feel like all of a sudden when I see them.
	Yeah, I got you.
	Well, I tell you, you know, listen, coming across a snake, even I, when I come across a snake in the wild, I'm looking for them.
	You know, I'm out, you know, I've traveled all over the world, right?
	I mean, I had a series on Discover Channel for the most venomous snakes on the planet.
	And when I come across them, I'm just like Yeah, Venom Hunters.
	Venom Hunters.
	Yeah, it was great in season one.
	Almost died several times.
	That's all right.
	They wanted me to, like, they're like, you know, hey, you know what?
	Instead of having a nice big snake hook, you know, let's use this little tiny snake hook.
	Or, you know, let's make it as dangerous as possible.
	Oh, they want you to die.
	Oh, they want.
	That's what I'm saying.
	The producers want you to die.
	Bring your girlfriend.
	Bring your sick girlfriend.
	She'll do great.
	But even I, like out in the bush, you know, when I come across a snake, I'm looking for them and I come across a snake and it startles me for a second.
	If it's in my living room, I tell you, literally, again, I was at my ma's basement.
	Okay.
	Bought a house when I was 20 years old because I hadn't made enough money to do it.
	Made that bread.
	So you got a lady at this point?
	I just want to know what kind of man has these snakes at this point.
	Because if I have 200 snakes, dude, I don't know how I'm finding time to pet a lady, you know what I'm saying?
	Or to feed a lady.
	You know what I'm saying?
	You got 200 dates every day.
	Yeah, no, you're right.
	It's a lot of work.
	But no, I literally still am with my wife Lori since we were like 18, 19 years old.
	And she wouldn't even come into my ma's basement when I met her because she was so terrified of snakes.
	And now she's been running our businesses for 30 years together.
	So she really the bookkeeper.
	No, she's hands-on, man.
	She's hardcore.
	Really?
	I mean, I tell you, you don't want to mess with Lori.
	Anyone knows that?
	Listen, I run a lot of the different things that are all reptile related, but she's the boss.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Everyone's terrified of her, but she's a badass.
	She'll get in with an 18-foot snake like nothing, you know?
	I mean, my employees are scared to death.
	Like, I'm not getting in there.
	Things, you know, mad today.
	She'll go, get out of my way.
	She'll get in there.
	But no, it's like, but so I moved out when I was 20, bought a house.
	Okay, so you moved out, you got a house, you got the girlfriend.
	Yeah, girlfriend turned in my wife and had a kid and stuff like that.
	But I had a few snakes at my ma's house.
	You left them in there?
	A few because I was still moving into the new house, right?
	Yeah, dude, that's fucking really mean.
	It was, right?
	But it turns out one time I was over there, you know, because I still got to take care of them, right?
	And I accidentally left one cage open, right?
	But the downsides was that snake got out of the cage and then opened up a bunch of other cages.
	So my ma calls me at like three in the morning.
	How do you do that?
	Like Madagascar?
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's like let all your friends out, you know?
	Oh, my God.
	How do you know that?
	See, that's the thing that I understand sometimes is how, like, do they know more than we think they know?
	Oh, yeah.
	Jeez.
	Oh, they're so much smarter than you think, dude.
	I mean, we have snakes that literally are like ball trained.
	And what I mean by that is that— We're fucked, man.
	No, I think it's great.
	I think every person on the planet should have a pet snake, including you.
	Let me ask you this, man.
	Yeah.
	You touched on it a second ago, people on drugs being with snakes.
	Should somebody that's high because first of all, two questions.
	One, I think I remember my friend Alex had a snake.
	He would feed it.
	He would feed his snake dog food pieces.
	Is that possible or was I high?
	You're probably high.
	You're probably high.
	I mean, I'm not going to say that it can't happen.
	I'm just saying that I've never seen it.
	Okay.
	Yeah, because I've had this memory my whole life, and then I'm like, I don't know if maybe we're high.
	So then the second part is, do you think drug-induced people should be around snakes?
	And what, sorry, answer?
	No, no, listen, you know, any animal, especially a reptile or a big cat or, you know, something that could potentially hurt you.
	And yeah, listen, a lot of snakes can hurt you, but I'm talking a bigger snake.
	We have a rule that, like, number one, you can't even go in with a big animal without a second person with you in our place.
	But no one can be intoxicated on any level.
	Okay.
	Say you have to be intoxicated, right?
	There's a federal mandate.
	Yeah.
	And I'm not talking like with the vaccine.
	I'm talking like federally mandated.
	You got to be high.
	Some type of drug.
	Yeah.
	What is the best drug to be on around a snake?
	Probably marijuana.
	You know, because it chills you out.
	You know, maybe they've sensed a little energy thing or something like that.
	I know a lot of keepers that smoke a lot of reefer.
	Yeah.
	I feel like that fits.
	Now, what is a drug that you would not recommend probably being on a run of snake?
	Definitely not like mushrooms or LSD.
	Yeah, that'd be a bad idea.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I mean, you're barely knowing what's going on.
	You got some snake striking at you.
	You know, you think it's maybe a goblin or something like that.
	Is a snake more likely to strike at you if you have sunglasses on?
	Probably not.
	Some animals would.
	I would say like lizards, like giant lizards and stuff like that, they get a little freaked out by stuff like that.
	They're more visual.
	You know what I mean?
	Snakes aren't as visual.
	What about skin lotion, like a Veno skin lotion?
	Like a basic moisturizer?
	Probably nothing too major, to be honest with you.
	I've never seen anything too agitated by smells and stuff like that.
	We get a lot of people in our zoo that handle a lot of stuff, and there's all kinds of smells from Betoule oil to, yeah, you know, Calvin Klein.
	I will tell you something real quick, not snake-related.
	If you ever go to like a big cat sanctuary type of thing with lions and tigers, don't wear Calvin Klein because they almost all, for some reason, spray Calvin Klein on boxes for enrichment.
	So they'll throw the box with Calvin Klein in the cage and then the tiger lion loves it.
	They rub all over it and stuff.
	So it's like now every time they smell Calvin Klein, they're thinking, I can eat that.
	So don't, that's a little tip.
	You'll like that tip.
	When, how far can a snake see?
	Depends on the snake.
	You know, like a king cobra is real visual, it could probably see a pretty good distance, you know, several, maybe 20, 30 yards, something like that.
	Pythons don't have a lot of great high sight, you know, probably three, four foot, something like that.
	Can snakes dance?
	You know, like you see a lot of the video snakes dancing in other countries and stuff.
	It's more like combat for males, right?
	So if you get two male snakes, particular species, they'll do like the kind of stuff like that.
	But they're not dancing, they're fighting.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Do reptiles go through a popularity phase?
	Like in your lifetime, have you noticed popularity phases for certain types of reptiles or anything like that?
	And what kind of creates those?
	Oh my gosh, I tell you, listen, when I was a kid in the late 80s, getting into snakes, you were like a closet snake guy.
	You didn't tell anyone you kept snakes, right?
	The homosexuality of animals, really.
	Maybe not quite that bad, but it was close, though.
	I mean, you know what I'm saying, dude?
	Yeah, that guy is snakes.
	Yeah, you definitely got looked at as a freak.
	What is that guy?
	That guy's a killer or something like that.
	But now it's like literally, I think there's like 40 million households in America keep snakes.
	So it's crazy how busy.
	I mean, it's like every pet shop has them.
	Yeah, they're super popular, you know?
	So I've just seen a kind of upward trajectory, to be totally honest with you, since the late 80s, early 90s.
	Now it's like so mainstream to keep snakes, you know?
	I mean, everyone, like everyone knows somebody that has a snake.
	You've got to know somebody, right?
	Oh, I know a guy, right?
	Actually, you know what?
	We got a question from somebody I do know who has one.
	I'm not going to lie.
	I am not a fan of Theo Von.
	Never have been, never will be, but I love Brian.
	So here's a question: Brian, what kind of animal should I get to put inside someone's house when they are not home to scare or intimidate them?
	I don't want any death or violence to occur, maybe just a lot of fear.
	Any advice would be much appreciated.
	Thank you so much.
	And interesting how he didn't blink once during all of that.
	That's true.
	Which I want to say that's definitely reminds me of that.
	The mustache is a little freaky, too, to be totally honest with you.
	It fits his entire interior.
	Yeah, I would do something like a black racer or a blue racer or something fast, right?
	That way when you see it, it's just like, woo!
	You know, the faster something moves, the more scary it is, right?
	And can they go on top of the water even, though?
	Oh, my gosh, yeah.
	I was in South Africa a couple years back, and we collected a couple black mambas, right?
	And we wanted to release them.
	And so we went down to a river and RIP also.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I'll tell you what, black mambas are, I mean, they're wicked.
	I mean, definitely.
	I mean, listen, you know, no snakes are aggressive, but they're defensive.
	But when you start messing, you muck with a black mamba, it's quick and it's willing to bite you, and it's not a good bite.
	As a matter of fact, I was at the same trip, I was at a Venom lab, and we did some milking of Venom for Antiphonine.
	And just about three weeks later, the guy that I was with got killed by the same place I was at.
	Yeah, yeah, I got bit and died.
	So we released the black mambas into this area that had this nice river.
	And I mean, they just glide on the top of the river.
	It's absolutely, to me, it's stunning and beautiful.
	This is them right here?
	Yeah, I mean, they're crazy.
	And they call them black mambas because the inside of their mouth is black, not because they're a black snake, right?
	They're more like a grayish-green snake, to be honest with you.
	But they get like nine, ten foot, super whippy and super willing to bite.
	And they're, you know, like a Ferrari kind of.
	Oh, yeah, they're fast.
	Or like a Porsche.
	They always say, like, you know, hey, I've been messing with Venomous since I was 15. And they always say, like, the most experienced Venomous guy, if you're handling either a mamba or a coastal Taipan, you look like you don't know what you're doing.
	That's how crazy they are.
	Like, even when you know what you're doing, you don't look like you know what you're doing.
	Damn.
	So even so at that level, a black mamba will even, you will handle it differently.
	You'll have more fear in you at that point?
	Never fear.
	I always say don't fear respect, but I definitely respect a black mamba a tremendous amount, especially if you get out in the African sun.
	It's like 95 degrees, sunny.
	They're soaking up the rays.
	You've got to remember, these animals are cold-blooded.
	So when it's warm, they're faster because they're higher temperature.
	And I mean, I've had a couple real close encounters with black mambas and coastal taipants in Australia as well.
	So is it better to put ice on a snake before you approach it then?
	You know, I wouldn't do it because it's probably not that good for the snake.
	You know, it's not good to cool them down like that.
	But the cooler they are, the more mellow.
	And if you go into Africa during the winter months, which, of course, are summer months, they're chill because it's cool.
	Well, here's a question.
	Let's bring this mama's back up if you don't mind, Spencer.
	Now, this snake right here, what is the benefit of having that black mouth inside of its body?
	It's all about danger threat.
	Basically, someone comes up, it's going to open that mouth.
	It's going to look really dangerous.
	Get away from me.
	Don't muck with me.
	You've got to remember, like, snakes don't want to be messed with, and they also don't want to bite you.
	They don't want to bite you, but they will bite you if you get into their space, right?
	Then who's trying to kill a snake?
	What are they afraid of?
	I never met anybody trying to kill a snake or animal.
	Oh, my gosh.
	Snakes are, you know, listen, you know, it's all a circle of life, right?
	I mean, you know, but I feel like it's a freaking culis.
	I feel like it is a damn U-turn of life for them because what animal's trying to get them?
	Oh, my gosh.
	So, you know, from anything from, you know, like mongoose, for instance, over in Africa, they're actually immune to the venom.
	They love killing snakes, right?
	You know, so, and then when there's a smaller snake, birds will get them.
	You know, I mean, gosh, you know, Africa's just.
	Oh, yeah.
	I've seen a falcon get one.
	Yeah.
	Or a hawk.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I didn't think about that.
	So that's such a predator, too, because you can't even see that coming from the air.
	That's like if an airplane came down and got one above them.
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And then when you have, like I said, you have a mongoose or something like that that literally can get bit and it's almost like they get drunk.
	If you ever you want to go down a rabbit hole, just watch like mongooses getting bit by cobras because they actually, it's like they like walk around, get drunk, they'll fall over, then they just get right back up and then go back.
	Honey badgers will do the same thing.
	It's pretty crazy.
	So when they get bit, it affects them for a little bit.
	It faces like cobra.
	And then they're back.
	Yeah, like almost like they're drunk or something for a minute.
	And then they're like, all right, I'm ready for round two.
	Let's go.
	Happiness doesn't come easy these days.
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	And if you talk with the counselor, don't be afraid to share what you're really feeling.
	Even if you hate the counselor, tell them that.
	Just share what's going on.
	Sometimes we get stuck in these spaces where we don't share what we're really thinking because we're afraid of what other people will think.
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	You know, cashback cards are so 20-20.
	You buy this, you buy a thing of Skittles, you get half a cent back.
	You buy $50 worth of damn corn and you get a, uh, they send you a mitten or something, one mitten.
	You got to keep high-fiving people with your cold hand to keep it warm.
	The shit has to stop.
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	Do you think it's ironic Australia was a place where they put all the criminal humans, right?
	Yeah.
	At one point in time.
	I've long thought that God put all the criminal animals over there too, ironically.
	Well, you know, it's.
	Are you surprised that all the criminals of human and animal It is an irony.
	I hadn't thought of it that way, but it is ironic.
	And it is true that most everything in Australia wants to kill you, you know.
	The only difference between Australia and Africa is that the animals in Africa kill you and eat you, whereas the animals in Australia just kill you, you know, with the exception of crocodiles.
	Crocodiles eat in Australia as well.
	And I've been out there with those guys, too.
	So when you guys are hunting, like do you go on hunts or what do you go on?
	Like do you go out on a weekend looking like in your town for snakes?
	Do you pack a lunch in the morning?
	Like what do you do when you get out there?
	Like and what are you, where are you going?
	Well, there's not a lot of great stuff in Michigan, to be honest.
	That's why I'm from the Detroit area.
	But when I go out to Africa, you know, Asia, you know, whether it's Indonesia or wherever I'm going, yeah, I mean, we're there just to look for something.
	Usually I'm filming something, but at the same time, I love it.
	Even if I'm not filming on my days off or something like that, I'm out looking for stuff.
	And yeah, I mean, I don't know.
	I don't take them.
	I just like catch them, maybe take some pictures, hang out with them for a minute, and then let them loose.
	Matter of fact, I love letting snakes loose after I catch them because I think it's super cool.
	But yeah, I don't know.
	Listen, some people jump out of planes.
	Some people have fast cars.
	I like to play with things that might kill me.
	So it's kind of that thing.
	What scares you then if snakes don't?
	Everything.
	Really?
	Everything but reptiles and animals.
	I mean, I'm not afraid of anybody because I've worked with, you know, again, lions and rhinos.
	You name it.
	Do you pet a big animal?
	Oh, hell yeah, man.
	I don't care.
	That's actually, I'm broken a little bit, to be totally honest with you, because I don't fear any animal.
	Like, you know, people are like, you shouldn't do that.
	I'm like, let's go.
	You know, like, why not?
	Let's go.
	Let's check it out.
	And I'm never thinking like, listen, I've been doing this my whole life and I've been around the craziest animals all over the planet.
	Never once have I been to the hospital yet for an injury.
	Nothing.
	Not even one time.
	You know, and maybe you can call it luck.
	Maybe you call it what I don't know what it is, but I don't ever like think of it as scary.
	Have your children and wife been bit?
	Not by anything dangerous.
	Well, my wife did get.
	Yeah, of course, yeah.
	But do you feel some responsibility for that?
	Not at all.
	It's their decisions.
	My wife does have a pretty good scar from a tiger bite in the leg.
	So that was a good question.
	Sorry, but some of these bitches deserve it.
	Not your lady.
	But I'm just saying, I'm glad to know tigers are on our team.
	Yeah, yeah.
	We got a beautiful question that came in right here from somebody.
	He looks like a reptile guy to me.
	He definitely, yeah, he does.
	And I feel like he's sent in a question before.
	I'm glad this guy's chiming in here.
	Let's hear it.
	Yo, what up, Theo?
	This question's for Brian.
	I'm actually genuinely curious, what's the worst injury you've sustained while messing around with those little critters, those little reptiles and amphibians and snakes.
	They look pretty dangerous, so I'm curious how long you've been hospitalized or what the worst injury was.
	But appreciate you guys, Theo, my dude, Gang Gang.
	Gang, brother, thanks for the question.
	That's a good question, Brian.
	I'm sure you get asked it a lot.
	Yeah, and I kind of almost covered it, right?
	Where I've never been hurt, really, right?
	You know, I have a few scars.
	And I want snakes to hear that.
	Yeah.
	I want snakes.
	I want animals to hear that.
	Right here.
	We got a guy who just entered the ring.
	I'm not saying it's a Royal Rumble, but I'm saying it's a Royal Rumble, dude, that just entered the ring.
	I'm daring him.
	Has suffered zero damage points, okay?
	Yeah.
	This guy has all of his hit points, snakes.
	And yeah, I'm telling you what, honestly, it shocks me.
	Do you feel like when you start to see that you haven't been damaged, you haven't had any hit points yet, that you think there is something in certain people's bloods?
	Do you notice that maybe Native Americans don't get bit as much, that blacks don't get bit as much?
	Who is getting bit?
	Well, I do think that, you know, I don't think it's a— Yeah, yeah.
	I think, no, I think it's, I always talk about confidence.
	Yeah.
	Like, if you can read, so listen, everybody, like, you might have a puppy and you're like, I know what that puppy wants.
	I know it wants food.
	I want, you know, some people have that same mentality with animals at all.
	Like, I can tell when I get in with a tiger if it's going to be chill.
	And I know I can tell before it's going to want to attack me when it's going to do it.
	And same thing with reptiles.
	I can just, I can look at a reptile at a zoo and be like, okay, that needs a little bit more food.
	It needs, you know, it's, that's aggro.
	That's whatever.
	You know, so I think that confidence and the ability to read them, and that could be something that's natural.
	I don't know.
	I don't know that you can learn.
	I mean, you can learn like my wife Lori.
	She wasn't a reptile person.
	She's learned to really deal with reptiles.
	But, you know, I just, I've always been that way.
	Like, I've always been able to read like every animal.
	And maybe, or maybe I'm just lucky.
	I don't know.
	Maybe I'm testing fate all the time, but you give me a challenge.
	I'm in for it when it comes to it.
	Is part of that it when it comes to being around reptiles?
	Because it's just, I wouldn't think it was crazy if it wasn't something that struck up so much fear.
	We had a blind lady that was on the podcast one time, and we were just talking about all kinds of stuff, what it's like to be blind and different inquiries and blind inquiries.
	And she said the craziest thing, we're talking about animals.
	She said the craziest thing is snakes.
	She's like, I get nothing from a snake.
	Like, other animals I can hold, I can feel, I can get some kind of energy from them.
	But a snake, I just don't get anything from it.
	Interesting.
	And that's when I knew, dog, y'all was fucking up, bro.
	You know what I'm saying?
	That's when I knew y'all was out there dark art and dog.
	I don't know.
	Do you think that you get a reading from snakes?
	Like, do you think it's a temptation to battle like this, this, this thing that's so scary to other people?
	Like, is there any of that in it for you?
	Yeah, I think that, you know, most people that are really into reptiles, there's a little bit of like outlandish.
	You know, you want to be a little bit of an outlaw type of thing.
	I think that you're a little, you don't, you know, follow the same path as everybody else.
	There's no doubt about that.
	Yeah, the snake guy was always a crazy guy.
	Yeah, you know, I mean, it's kind of cool to be the crazy guy in a way.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But people always are surprised how, like, I may do crazy things, but I'm not that crazy.
	The snake guy was always a really cool guy, though.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like you said, you know, when you earlier on, like, hey, what do you think about the women?
	I tell you what, guys with snakes always get the women.
	Really?
	What do you think?
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	It fascinates them.
	I don't know if because you're a rebel, you know, I don't know what it is.
	But it seems like all my snake friends are always hooking up with the hottest chicks.
	Do you feel like a lot of that snakes, that snakes know it's you?
	If you have a snake, do you think a snake knows it's you?
	You know, that's a tough question, man.
	I think that there's something that's called anthropomorphism, right?
	When we start, you know, applying our human feelings to an animal, right?
	You know, people do it with everybody, with their dogs even.
	They anthropomorphize.
	Yeah, yeah.
	People start looking like they're animals too, they say all the time.
	And sometimes it's true.
	Yeah, I agree with you there.
	So I don't know.
	You know, I'd like to, there are certainly reptiles that know me, my reptile, you know, lizards and some other things like that.
	And you know they know you.
	Well, yeah, I mean, literally, I have a rhino iguana that her name is Bella.
	She'll only come to me.
	Like when I call her, she'll come to me.
	When I call her, my crew, she won't come to, you know, so she's, you know, and a lot of my animals act very differently.
	With snakes, they act different to me as well.
	But I wonder sometimes, is it my like calmness with them that's making them calm with me?
	You know what I mean?
	I don't know that they, I just don't know.
	You can't read that with the snake.
	And if I said it and told you I did, I think people would think I was kooky.
	Do you feel sometimes, though, like there's some kind of connection?
	Like sometimes I'll see an animal, bro, and I'll be like, dude, there's some piece of me inside of me that's also inside of that animal.
	Do you feel that with snakes sometimes?
	Because we're all come out of nature.
	Yeah, I mean, I think we're all connected, right?
	You know, but I don't think that I'm like part of a snake or something.
	But I do think that, you know, we're all kind of interconnected through energies and stuff like that.
	And so I think that that's what I always say.
	You know, if you have confidence, you have like positive energy, you're less likely to get bit, less likely to get hurt.
	You know, it's when you're afraid of stuff, you know, or even like when you're catching a snake, and I had one of my crew out and we were in Florida and like he wanted to catch this little lizard.
	You know how little lizards running around in Florida all the time.
	And he's like, oh, let me go catch this.
	And he gets close and he hesitates, right?
	And then the lizard runs away.
	And I'm like, you can't hesitate.
	You can play that guy in a movie, I think.
	Honestly, yeah, that's me.
	Yeah, no.
	Even like with a crocodile, like if you're going to catch a crocodile, the last, I mean, you know, again, we're in a place called Josini, Africa, and we were, actually, it was crazy.
	I was filming a documentary, and we hook up with this guy.
	You know, Josini is the largest population of Nile crocodiles in one area in South Africa.
	And it's, yeah, Josini.
	And it's, you know, tons of big wild crocs.
	And so the biologist that had been studying them for over a year was named Mark, right?
	And so my fixtures for the show hooked up with this guy and like, hey, we want to catch a croc.
	We'll do some research, you know, some skewed samples, whatever the case is, toxicology stuff.
	And so we go out on this boat.
	We get there.
	We only have a day and a half, right?
	We go out in a boat and we're got to catch a croc for this film, right?
	We've got the whole film crew with us, stuff like that.
	And he's like, all right, this is what we're going to do.
	We've got this noose on the end of a pole.
	We're going to try to, you know, get to the bank.
	They're all on the banks.
	And as they come out, you noose them and then we can pull them over to land, right?
	And so, you know, one croc after another explodes in the water, gone, explodes in the water, gone.
	Hours and hours and hours.
	We aren't even getting close, right?
	So finally, I look back to him and I go, Mark, you know, like, how many crocs have you caught, dude?
	And he's like, and he's been there over a year.
	He's a biologist.
	I mean, crocodile biologist.
	He's like, well, I've never caught one.
	I'm like, what?
	Here we are with the film crew.
	You haven't caught one?
	Like, we're screwed, right?
	And so we had a half a day the next day.
	So I spent the night like sleepless, right?
	Like, what am I going to do about this, man?
	You know, and I kind of devised a plan.
	And literally, we went out the next morning and within an hour, we had like a 15-foot bull crocodile, giant crocodile.
	But my point is that now you're pulling them on land.
	When you jump that thing, right?
	Because you got to jump them, tape them, and stuff like that.
	Is that a 15-foot bull crocodile?
	Let's put a bull crocodile.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Niel crocodile.
	Yeah, right there.
	I mean, there we go.
	Is that it?
	Yeah, there you go, man.
	That's right there.
	They're giant.
	Does one of those say bull crocodile?
	Yeah, it's just a male crocodile.
	So the bull crocodile, the male crocodile is going to be one of your bigger crocodiles in the area.
	And they're all hierarchy, right?
	The biggest one is the bull because he's like, hey, I've got this damn.
	Don't come around me.
	I got all the women I want.
	You can't have me.
	I'm assuming on one of those spins, can you pull it up, please?
	So that's one of them right there?
	Yeah, I mean, this is the size of the, that's actually small.
	You'll put a dart on them?
	No, we don't, no, no, no, nothing, man.
	We just literally, we noose them, get them on land, and then that's what I'm saying.
	No hesitation, right?
	You have to jump it.
	You have to jump on top of it and get that thing subdued so that someone can tape its mouth so you can do your research on it.
	So how were you guys, the one you guys were able to get, you guys, what?
	What was the difference that you guys chose to do that day?
	So basically what happened was there was one area on The end of the dam that actually had some hippos on there.
	And so the boat driver didn't want to go over there, right?
	So what's happening is when they were just exploding in the water, they're just disappearing.
	On the opposite side of the dam, it was kind of shallow for about 100 feet.
	So when they exploded off the side, they'd have to run.
	And so I knew that if we could like triangulate, when, hey, let's get to where they get to deep water, now we got a chance to noose them, right?
	Now, the boat driver really didn't want to go over there because, of course, hippos to capsize the boat and kill you.
	But I'm like, that's the only chance we have, right?
	And so we went out and, like I said, there's a big 15-plus-foot crocodile.
	And that's the one, right?
	And I said, and I remember a boat driver's name was Amos.
	And I said, Amos, don't go towards the crocodile.
	Go where he's going to go, right?
	Like when he's exploding that way, you've got to meet him at that, right when he gets that water, right?
	And we got there, got the noose on him, drug him across land.
	It took six of us to drag him out onto land because he was so heavy.
	And then I had to jump his head, right?
	You know, so you got to jump on top of his head with your body.
	What are you wearing?
	I mean, this right here, you know, this is, I'm like, I'm not, no khakis, no hat, just me, you know, but no hesitation.
	You hesitate.
	Sneakers, though, huh?
	Yes, it was, yeah, it was sneakers, but man, slip and fall, you're done, you know.
	But like I said, you hesitate.
	That thing's going to take your hand off or your arm off.
	So you have to be quick.
	You have to make your own move.
	Do you think they respect that almost a little bit more?
	Or it's just surprise?
	I think it's surprise.
	Yeah, I don't think they care either way.
	Listen, crocodiles have one thing in mind.
	They're predators, man.
	They're apex predators, 100 million years on this planet.
	So when you say an apex predator, is a snake an apex predator?
	It can be.
	It depends on where it is.
	A lot of snakes aren't apex predators.
	Apex predators would just mean that they don't have a, there's nobody predates on them, right?
	Really, most apex predators, crocodiles, the list goes on of anything that would, you know, lions, tigers, the only real predators that they have are humans, really.
	You know, we're the only ones that can kill them.
	I mean, in the wild, if humans weren't around, nothing kills a big crocodile, right?
	So big crocodiles are really there.
	They don't have anything getting them.
	Well, not except for humans.
	Not anymore.
	Yeah, not anymore.
	And now down in the Everglades, you've got the Burmese pythons that are eating alligators, which those are both apex predators.
	In Asia, Burmese pythons, 20-foot, 18, 20-foot pythons, they're the apex predators once they hit adulthood.
	Nothing's killing those guys.
	But now you've got two of them down in Florida fighting for the same land.
	And where are these two located at?
	Do they know?
	Yeah, they're down in the Everglades.
	So how many, are there a lot of Burmese pythons alive on the planet?
	Yeah, well, just in Florida alone, there's estimates of a couple hundred thousand.
	Jesus Christ.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And those are not supposed to be there, man.
	They're not supposed to be there.
	They're asleep, dog.
	You're making me scared, bro.
	Well, listen, we're going to go the other way.
	We're going to talk about how awesome snakes are, right?
	I don't know if we can make it there.
	Yeah, we can.
	I don't know, man.
	I didn't come here to scare you, Theo.
	I came here and didn't.
	I just think I'm even an example of what I was thinking about earlier.
	It's like, it's like you have all this pin.
	I remember the first snake I ever saw was walking with my grandparents, and my grandmother hated me, and this freaking snake would, next thing I know, wrapped around my boot.
	And I was so scared.
	They're like, don't move.
	And my grandmother was like beating me in the leg with this shovel.
	And I'm like, what is happening?
	I couldn't even see the snake.
	I didn't know what was going on.
	I knew my grandmother didn't like me.
	So I'm just like, this, I knew, you know, I didn't think it was going to go down like this.
	We're in the woods.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I thought we were going fishing.
	And now I'm thinking that they're trying to take my life, you know?
	And then it's a black snake wrapped around my, wrapped around my boot.
	And then I remember being a kid swimming in the Chafalai or Boga Falai or something.
	And my friend Robert, and he had, he was like haunted or something.
	He had some kind of issue where he would say stuff and then like he would repeat everything he would say over real quietly under his breath.
	He'd be like, it's lunchtime.
	It's lunchtime.
	And he did it for everything, you know?
	So I think he was supposed to be twins or something.
	I don't know what happened to him.
	But anyway, he and I are out there playing, right?
	And he, and we just see this on top of the water.
	And we're just, I mean, it's just so much.
	Every time it was always fear.
	I think I never knew anybody who introduced me to a snake as a, hey, this is a safe thing around.
	This is a safe thing.
	So it was always a lot of fear in the environment of snake.
	So I think that's what I think I am as an example of people show up with to you with all that shit like, hey, you did it.
	Yeah.
	You know, you did it, Brian.
	You know, like you put those snakes in my childhood, you asshole.
	Like, I think there's a lot of that because it's such a fear thing for a lot of people, or for me anyway.
	Yeah.
	Well, you know what the opposite of fear is, is knowledge.
	Right.
	So the more you know, the less you fear, right?
	So, you know, when your grandma was beating you, all you thought of is a bad snake, right?
	Yeah.
	Not bad grandma, but bad snake.
	Yeah, I probably thought a little bit of both about my grandma.
	My grandmother was really, she was a real, she was out there.
	But yeah, I think, yeah, you blow, yeah, a lot of stuff gets, yeah, it's just such a fear thing, you know?
	Yeah.
	So, and there's not a lot, and especially there didn't used to be, there wasn't a, we didn't have snakes in the classroom.
	Really?
	Yeah, we didn't.
	We had one fella named Curtis.
	Oh, I'll tell you this, dude.
	So we went to prom or something, some dance.
	Sadie Hawkins or something.
	You got to wear the same shirt, right?
	Yeah.
	And my buddy ended up touching this girl's crotch for like the first time ever in our childhood.
	And I don't know if it's appropriate.
	I know your son's in here, but.
	Yeah, no, you're good.
	Is it okay?
	He's such a crotch, Rusty.
	Okay, good.
	Yeah, and it's safe.
	It's a human crotch, you know, nothing insane.
	And my buddy's dad comes out there by the fire and is like, spends the whole night like, like, basically massaging my buddy's hand that he touched the girl's crotch with, like, real dark stuff going on.
	So anyway, that night, we have to sleep at my buddy's house, right?
	And he had like 15 snakes in his room in cages.
	And dude, I'd never, I'd never knowingly slept within probably almost 50 miles of a snake because that's where the zoo was closest to us.
	And I remember he turned this, I'm laying there, we all have to sleep in his bed.
	I'm laying there and he turns the ceiling fan on.
	He had the fastest ceiling fan I've ever heard in my life.
	So suddenly every snake I feel like is just wide awake.
	Every snake smell is just swirling in the room, and I'm just laying there in this cauldron of just like hopelessness.
	You know, it had just been such an insane night.
	And then my friend's dog barked outside.
	The dad went out, shot the dog in the head, Mr. Joe.
	But anyway, but anyway, so that was just another scary night where I'm surrounded by snakes, you know.
	Trauma.
	Yeah, I've just had a lot of trauma with snakes, man.
	PTSD.
	I do.
	I think I do have PTSD.
	Now you got a snake showing up in your living room or whatever, you know?
	Yeah, I do, man.
	We got a question that came in right here, actually, from a gentleman, I think.
	What is this?
	Hey, what's up, Brian?
	What's up, Theo?
	My name's Geo.
	Nice to meet you.
	I got a question for Brian regarding reptiles, snakes, things of that nature, nature itself.
	You feel like what's like the biggest misconception you feel that most people have about snakes, venomous or non-venomous, or reptiles in general, that you feel like you'd like to squash right now.
	You just want to set the record straight for the world, the U.S., and other places.
	And Theo, not to make things a little awkward, but do you think that Brian is in cahoots with Bobby Lee and that's how you got that snake?
	I say you got that little snake in your hotel that you posted on your story.
	Yeah.
	It's a thought, not to make it awkward or whatever, but just think about it.
	All right.
	Thank you for your service, Mr. Gonzalez.
	That's a good question.
	That's two good questions.
	Let's start with the first one.
	What is a misconception, man?
	Because I feel misconceived.
	Yeah, totally.
	Yeah, that they're killers, you know, that they're, you know, like just cold-blooded killers, that all they want to do, they're put here to hurt you, you know, which is just not the case.
	You know, as a matter of fact, why do you think a rattlesnake has a rattle to tell you to stay away from it, right?
	It doesn't want to bite you.
	You know, so that's a huge misconception that snakes are just heartless killers and that they're here to hurt you.
	What are they here to do?
	Really, they're here to be part of the ecosystem, right?
	So think about a farmer, right?
	A farmer that has, you know, mice like grain, right?
	So now there's mice in the fields.
	Well, those snakes are there to kill the mice to save your grain, right?
	You know, it's happened before where like, you know, maybe a kid gets bitten to town by a rattlesnake, then they go and they kill all the rattlesnakes all of a sudden.
	Then they lose their crop to infestation of rodents, right?
	I see.
	So it's a real equalizer.
	It is.
	They're here to equalize everything.
	It's a huge, huge, huge part of the ecosystem.
	And one, that if you take it away, you're in big trouble.
	Really?
	Yeah, big trouble.
	So do snakes operate mostly at night?
	Are they nighttime workers?
	They can be both.
	You know, they can be both.
	So basically how you would tell a nocturnal animal from a diurnal animal, daytime, nighttime, is round pupils, daytime.
	Slits like cat eyes, nighttime.
	The one you had was actually a diurnal moving around in the daytime.
	It's daytime.
	Daytime.
	Okay.
	And then I don't know Bobby Lee, you know, so I'm not going to take any.
	If there's one ethnicity, you had to guess, let's ballpark it.
	And let's say Asian that would send someone a snake.
	What ethnicity is most associated with snakes throughout the history of time?
	Oh, my goodness.
	That's great.
	That's, wow.
	You know, like, obviously ancient Egyptians were really into it.
	Indians, I mean, you know, you have in India, you have people, you know, kids that are raised to be snake people from the time they're infants, you know, like around snakes.
	They're some of the most adept snake people.
	You know, I think those two cultures are really, really, you know, Japan, again, they worship a lot of snakes.
	They have temples, snake temples, and stuff like that.
	So I think all those things, you know, and then, yeah, so I think probably Egyptian, Indian, Japanese would be my two, they're my three top ones.
	Egyptian, Indian, Japanese, Bobby Lee.
	Yeah, interesting.
	Yeah, very interesting.
	Well, he admitted to sending me the snake.
	So that's the crazy part.
	Did he admit it?
	Yeah, he has an episode of his podcast coming out in like a couple days that he admitted to sending me the snake.
	He sent it, huh?
	So it's just insane, I feel like.
	And how do you even get a snake through the mail?
	Can you mail a snake to someone?
	What are the legal U.S. postal system rules about a snake or FedEx it?
	You can't mail it, but you can FedEx it.
	So I could FedEx it to your door, but you can't mail it.
	Why is the mail?
	Are they more afraid of it or what is the deal?
	It's just a rule that they have.
	I think that if I'm not mistaken, and I could be wrong about it, but I think you can ship frogs, weirdly enough, you know, through the mail, but you can't do reptiles.
	But FedEx, UPS, you know, chances are if you're flying on a plane, there's a reptile in the belly of that plane.
	Or tarantulas.
	There's probably.
	Just think about that next time you're sitting up there having a cocktail.
	No, I don't want to do that.
	Okay.
	I mean, I respect you for wanting me to, but I just, I don't know if that's going to help me, man.
	It's been hard for me to sleep since I saw that snake in my house.
	Really?
	Yeah, yeah.
	We got to work on you then, man.
	We got to get you over it.
	Yeah, I do need to, man.
	The last thing you want to do is look hellish in your clothing.
	The last thing you want to do is see somebody wearing, they're wearing a tank top and a condom.
	You know what I'm saying?
	And a hat.
	You got to look good.
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	Look, it's tough when you're looking for insurance online.
	It's aggravating.
	You don't want to do it.
	It feels overwhelming a lot of times.
	It feels like too much.
	That's what I've noticed.
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	If someone sees a snake in the house, thankfully there's a Lipscomb University here, not far from here, and the soccer coach, his wife saw that I had a snake in my house, and he came over.
	Because I guess soccer, they're running around out there all the time.
	Somebody gets bit probably every couple days because they're in a big field, you know?
	Yeah.
	But so anyway, he came over and helped me get rid of it.
	So that was pretty cool.
	But yeah, what do you do then?
	Because now I'm like thinking I need to get traps.
	I need to make sure there's no more snakes in my house.
	Like that's where a lot of my fear is at now, you know, and my concern, really.
	No, I'm sure it's just a one-off thing, you know.
	I mean, number one, snakes don't really like den and infest places, you know, that really happens.
	So they're pretty solitary animals.
	And I saw the snake that was in your house.
	It's just a rat snake, and it was like, you know, probably a year old, something like that.
	So there's no brothers and sisters hanging out, you know, waiting for you around the corner.
	So I think you're pretty safe.
	You're pretty good.
	And as far as what to do, you know, I mean, thankfully in this area, you know, you just call somebody, that local pet shop or something like that.
	They send someone over and pick it up.
	You know, there are actual snake catchers in Africa, in Australia, that that's their full-time job is just to go and get snakes out.
	I've done that in Africa with snake catchers, go out and remove mambas from literally a shanty shed this size where it's like, you know, someone wakes up and there's a mamba in their ceiling, you know, and we're talking a room this size that it's dangerous, man.
	You know, there's nowhere in the room that you can't get bit when that snake is around.
	You know, I mean, it's got that strike range.
	So there's literally people that that's what they do for a living is just remove snakes and protect people.
	But in this country, we don't have that problem.
	In this country, can you die from a snake bite?
	It's pretty rare.
	I mean, anyone can die.
	You know, you've got diamondbacks, you've got, you know, pygmy rattlesnakes.
	You've got lots of rattlesnakes mainly in this country.
	Also have coral snakes, but actual death rate in this country is pretty low because of treatment, right?
	If you get bit, you get to a hospital, you get treatment.
	It's not going to be pretty, you know, depending on how bad the bite is, but you're going to live.
	And yeah, is any person more likely to get bit by a snake?
	Like if you're wearing jewelry, if you are Caucasian, if you are Russian, if you are Mexican, if you are black, if you are wearing like a costume or something, is there anybody more likely to get bit?
	I would say the most likely person to get bit, really the most most likely is someone that keeps him as a pet.
	Second would be someone that's drinking, comes across a rattlesnake in the wild and wants to cowboy it and like, look at me, I can get the rattlesnake.
	You know, they've seen Steve Irwin, whatever the case is down the road, and they're like, I'm going to do this.
	That is a bug of some sort.
	Yeah, that's not a reptile.
	Damn.
	Yeah, that I'd be more afraid of than a reptile.
	Oh, yeah, we got that in here.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But yeah, those are, you know, usually alcohol has a lot to do with getting bit.
	People getting bit.
	Yeah, alcohol a lot of times.
	So there's no real ethnicity or skin tone or anything.
	Do you notice that Native Americans have good relationships with snakes?
	I wouldn't say so.
	I have half my family is Native American.
	Oh, really?
	They like them, you know, but I wouldn't say they're any better or worse off for it, at least the ones in my family.
	But they do fine.
	Wow, that's interesting because I would feel like they would have a whole different, like, just a different history with them, you know, because they have more experience probably being around them.
	Yeah.
	I think that's another thing.
	We're just so not in as much nature as we used to be, you know, and so we see less snakes.
	No, that's true.
	Especially I was in California for a long time, so we never saw a snake there.
	Really?
	Yeah, I never saw any snakes in California unless it was already had one.
	That was about it.
	Yeah, you get out in the deserts around L.A., and there's a lot of rattlesnakes.
	I mean, it's not far away from the city, too, trust me.
	I mean, you're right outside the city, and you're getting rattlesnakes and gopher snakes.
	I mean, there's a lot out there.
	I've caught a bunch of snakes out in California, in the L.A. area.
	So you're growing up, you got the money from selling the snakes.
	What size snakes are you selling?
	Big babies?
	Are you selling eggs?
	What do you do?
	Yeah, I used to sell babies.
	That's how I started.
	I sold babies of snakes that were going to get 18 foot.
	I sold babies of snakes that were going to get 5-foot.
	Now I don't do big snakes.
	We do still breed some stuff, but mainly I'm an education, zoo, film, stuff like that.
	I'm not into the big breeder world like I used to be.
	But that's how it came up because that was the only way.
	Listen, I just wanted to work with reptiles.
	I didn't know, and breeding reptiles was the best way for me to do it.
	I could get a job at the zoo, but there's not much money there and there's not many openings, you know.
	So, yeah, so I worked with reptiles.
	I bred reptiles because that was the way I could, you know, it's the labor of love, you know.
	What's the funnest reptile to breed?
	Oh, my gosh.
	I think, you know, like live bearer ones, you know, because, you know, snakes can have eggs and they can have live, right?
	And when you just like wait.
	Really?
	Yeah, like rattlesnakes have live, right?
	They just have a baby come right out of them.
	Yeah, just boom, relive.
	As a matter of fact, crazy story.
	Just recently, I had what I thought was a pair of anacondas.
	I have a giant female anaconda, like I'm talking like, you know, 125-pound anaconda.
	And then I had, now males are, they're what they call sexually dimorphic, so males are smaller.
	So I was sold this animal as male, my mistake, didn't sex it.
	And so I'm like, ah, they're not breeding.
	That's kind of weird.
	This is literally like a month, month and a half ago.
	And one day I come in and the male is, now that's never been in with a male, by the way.
	This is these two animals have been together, that's it, has a virgin baby.
	By itself.
	By itself.
	Because it had both genitales.
	No, it didn't have both genitalia.
	It's what they call parthenogenesis.
	So it's only a female.
	It's like a virgin birth.
	No sperm, no anything.
	And it's actually a clone of itself.
	No way.
	Yeah.
	So my male turned into a female and had a virgin birth.
	Do they use that type of information to try and learn more about human cloning and stuff?
	I mean, that seems like a real...
	I don't know if they are.
	I mean, maybe someone out there is.
	I don't know.
	No one ever contacted me to say, hey, can we do some research on it?
	It would be cool, though.
	I'd love to see it.
	But yeah, I mean, genetically, there is no male.
	There's only one side.
	And there's actually, there are reptile species like morning geckos, a little lizard, right?
	That have no males in the entire species.
	Everyone's females.
	Damn.
	Isn't that crazy?
	I mean, and they produce like...
	Like there's probably only been a handful of recorded cases ever.
	But then there's morning geckos that that's all they have is parthenogenesis.
	But I'd say going back to your point is live babies are always the funnest.
	So that's really the power in nature.
	I mean, nature, when put up against the wall, can just make its own self.
	Yeah, it's like the Jurassic Park thing, right?
	Nature finds a way.
	Can other animals do that too?
	I don't think mammals, there's ever been a parthenogenic mammal.
	Can you look at it?
	Yeah, see it.
	Yeah, parthenogenous mammal.
	Yeah, Jesus.
	Yeah, Jesus.
	Yeah, Jesus is the first snake.
	Not deep to me, man, huh?
	You said it, not me.
	I mean, I never felt his skin, but he doesn't seem like it.
	Yeah.
	What do we say here?
	There are unknown cases of naturally occurring.
	Mammalian parthenogenesis in the wild.
	Parthenogenesis.
	Phytenogeny of mammals.
	What does progeny mean?
	Offspring.
	Parthenogenic offspring of mammals would have two X chromosomes and would therefore be female.
	In 1935, George Kerlin reported successfully.
	Wow, into a rabbit.
	Reported successfully inducing parthenogenesis in a rabbit.
	Wow.
	I wonder how he would induce parthenogenesis in a rabbit.
	I don't know.
	I don't know how that goes.
	That's wild.
	I mean, that guy, I'd like to have a beer with that guy.
	Yeah, I'd like to freaking make sure his daughter's okay.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Damn, that's intense, man.
	Wow.
	So that's what one thing that baffles me a lot, man, is just the ability of nature, you know?
	Especially we get so like city-fied and comfortable and like so used to like human accoutrements and stuff that we forget sometimes how much of nature we are.
	Yeah.
	At least I do anyway.
	Yeah, I love getting out, man.
	You got to get away, especially when you're in the bush for a while, like you get out, you know, like just totally away from everything.
	It's amazing how quick you adapt, right?
	The first couple days when you're away from everything, like cell phones and internet and TV and stuff like that, it's a little bit weird, right?
	Because we're so used to that.
	Like, oh, got to check Instagram, you know?
	And a couple days, it's a little weird, but then all of a sudden you just kind of forget about it, you know?
	And it's wild how quickly you can acclimate into a situation because there's been times where I've been out for 30, 40 days, you know, where there's like nothing, you know, I mean, you're just in the bush, you know, working.
	And it's actually amazing.
	And then when you come back to reality, it feels really weird.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, you know, you turn on the TV.
	It's almost like over sensitive, you know, like, oh, that's bizarre.
	It feels almost bad.
	Yeah, it does.
	It really does.
	You know, I mean, I look at my screen time on my phone all the time.
	I'm like, damn, I spent two hours on my phone today, you know?
	Yeah, just this week, man, I'm trying to really back off.
	I'm trying to really, really back off.
	Make things less important if I can.
	Here's a question right here from a young man that seems rather interesting.
	Brian, Theo, what's up, boys?
	Stoked to see Brian on the podcast.
	I've always been a big fan of, you know, reptiles and all things wild, if you will.
	Guess my question's for Brian.
	What are your thoughts on the existence of a giant anaconda still being out there, lurking in the depths of the Amazon or Venezuela or wherever those things would be?
	Yeah.
	Guess it's kind of cryptozoological, if you will, but figured I'd just throw it out there.
	Peace.
	Theo, see you in Charleston, man.
	Oh, excellent, man.
	I'll see you soon.
	Weird, what about that Moby Dick out there?
	Is there something out there going on?
	Listen, Theodore Roosevelt, or Teddy Roosevelt, I'm sorry, when he was president, put out a grant for $50,000 for anyone that could come up with a snake over 30-foot, live or dead, right?
	Way back then.
	And then it ultimately ended up, I think, getting raised to like $75,000 until the 90s when they discontinued the grant.
	And then recently, I even put out something saying I'd give someone $100,000 that came up with a 30-foot snake.
	I would prefer live instead of dead.
	And no one's ever claimed that prize.
	So is there a snake out there in Venezuela?
	By the way, he had a cool shirt on.
	That's possible.
	I mean, you know, is there Megalodon?
	Probably not, you know, but I'm not going to say never, right?
	You know?
	Do you think nature could be trying to run it back ever?
	Do you ever get that sense being out in nature a lot and seeing a lot of these animals like on ground zero of like some of these genetic sequences messing with these baby animals?
	Do you ever think that nature could be trying to run it back and get more dinosaurs out here?
	Man, I tell you what.
	I mean, you know, listen, it's possible.
	There's a lot of land out there that no one has ever, you know, animals are being discovered all the time, right?
	You know, I think it was in the early 2000s there was an ape, like a 200-pound ape that was discovered in Vietnam.
	It was like mythical lore for 200 years.
	And everyone's like, no, there's no, that's not true.
	And then they found that it was real, you know?
	So is it possible?
	Yeah, I mean, I think it's possible.
	Look, coelacanths, you know, a fish, you know, a coelacanth.
	Have you ever seen them?
	So if you ever, you know, yeah, coelacanth, these were thought to be extinct for two for 100 million years, and now they've found them multiple times.
	So, is it possible there's like some dinosaur out there?
	Heck yeah, there's possible.
	Is it likely?
	You know, this is what I always tell people when someone says, Hey, do you believe in this?
	I say, I want to believe, but I don't, I don't know.
	You know, I mean, I don't know.
	It's never been found.
	You know, I would love Titanoboa to still be around a 50-foot snake.
	You know, maybe one's crawling around there.
	Most likely not, right?
	Just like megalodons, probably not a megalodon in the water, right?
	But we don't know.
	What about Loch Nest monsters?
	When you ever see that, did you believe it or not?
	I'll say the same thing.
	I want to believe.
	Do I think there's a Loch Nest monster?
	No, I don't.
	But I want to believe because it'd be badass, right?
	Could you imagine if plesiosaur would get found in Loch Ness?
	That'd be absolutely amazing.
	But I don't think so.
	I don't think so.
	I'm a realistic guy.
	Until I have proof.
	I'm a science guy, so you got to show me before, as much as I want my heart to believe in it, until I see it, I can't believe it.
	Who was your first girlfriend?
	Was it your wife or no?
	Oh, no, no.
	You dated around a little?
	Yeah, a little bit.
	Yeah, a little bit.
	A little.
	And would you messing with snakes then?
	Would you bring a snake on a date?
	Would you bring a date to a snake?
	No, to be honest with you, I didn't do that much of a snake.
	Would you keep them separate ever at that age?
	Were you kind of scared that girls were like, this is scary?
	Yeah, I think especially when I was 15, 16, I was kind of a rocker, played in a band, had some groupie girlfriend, stuff like that.
	Yeah, I didn't want them to think I was that much of a freak, especially back then.
	Like I said, so you were like, I don't want to lose this.
	Each town had one snake dude or every other town had a snake dude.
	Like that's kind of...
	I remember it being like, oh, you'd hear like, oh, that's the snake dude.
	And people were like, what?
	Yeah.
	And then he'd like, he'd scurry off or something.
	Yeah, I wasn't that guy.
	But yeah, I was, you know, to be honest with like in high school, the last few years of high school, like people thought it was cool, right?
	They're like, oh, man, he keeps snakes.
	You know, he plays in a rock band.
	I mean, you know, it's like, people dug it.
	You know, I mean, I was friends with the jocks to the nerds.
	I was friends with everyone because I kind of had a little of everything in me, right?
	I was into science.
	I was, you know, I still liked sports and I played rock music and I kept snakes.
	It's kind of like a little bit for everybody.
	Who was your first kiss?
	Do you remember that growing up?
	Yeah, Karina was her name.
	I think I was about 11 years old, believe it or not.
	I was a pretty young starter.
	No, I take that back.
	I take that back.
	I was eight years old named Helen Polis was her name.
	This sounds illegal, almost like that.
	Yeah, I think she was like 14. So half my friends have been busted for this kind of stuff.
	Yeah, it was.
	And if memory serves me correctly, it was a little more than a kiss, but at eight years old, what more is there?
	A kiss would have sunk me in the damn mud, dude.
	Yeah, yeah.
	A kiss would turn my knees into damn quicksand knees, bro.
	Yeah, right.
	I couldn't even imagine anything more at eight years old, dude.
	My God.
	That's wild, man.
	So whenever you met your wife when you first met her, did you know it was going to be your wife or no?
	Dude, this is a funny story, man.
	I swear, and this is an honest God truth.
	I met her on her 18th birthday at a party, and she was one of my best friends, girlfriend's girlfriend.
	I met her.
	I went home that night, and I told my mom I met the girl I want to marry.
	Wow.
	And then, so then my friend, I was like, hey, I got to meet up with Lori, have a date, you know, because we hung out a little bit, not too much, you know, for maybe a half hour, just talked and stuff like that.
	So the next day, I called my friend, like, I got to go out a date with this Lori.
	Can you hook me up?
	You know, and stuff like that.
	So Kathy, my friend, said, yeah, sure.
	Called Lori.
	She didn't even remember meeting me.
	No.
	Yeah, so I met the girl I wanted to marry.
	She didn't even remember meeting me.
	Literally was like, what?
	I don't even remember this guy.
	Don't you remember the guy staring at you for four hours?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Long-haired guy.
	You know what I mean?
	I was the only long-haired guy at the party.
	Yeah, dude.
	Didn't even remember me.
	Didn't even remember me.
	The guy with the fucking Rango shirt on?
	Yeah, exactly.
	But hey, man, it worked out.
	She eventually came around and we've been together ever since.
	Dude, that's a real comeback story right there, I feel like.
	I think that's a total comeback story.
	Guys, you got to hear that, man.
	Pretty good.
	Yeah.
	Zeroed in on a girl all night.
	She had no idea that he even existed.
	Yeah, no, not at all.
	I could have been like, yeah.
	That's cool.
	I mean, it's cool because a lot of guys, that'll shut us down right from the beginning.
	Yeah, you got to be persistent, but not a stalker.
	You don't want to be a stalker.
	You know what I mean?
	Just like, you know.
	And we were friends on for a little while.
	I was like, all right, you know, she must be a friend for a little bit, you know?
	Great.
	And then, you know, next thing you know, we're together for 33 years.
	So did you have children?
	Were they live or were they egg when you had them?
	Both were live, live born, what we call ova viviparius.
	Oh, really?
	So, yeah.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	And thanks.
	You had two live children.
	And you got a boy and a girl or what'd you get?
	Yeah, boy and a girl.
	Girl came first.
	Matter of fact, I'm going to be a grandpa this January.
	No.
	For the first time, yep.
	Congrats, dude.
	You look so young.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate it.
	Yep.
	I'll be an energetic grandpa.
	Hopefully raise another generation of reptile loving people.
	So spread that love, you know?
	Are they all rep lovers, what you have right now, your family?
	No, to be totally honest with you, it's weird.
	My son works with us.
	My daughter worked with us out of like she had to, right?
	When she was younger.
	But when she graduated college, she was really, you know, like, hey, listen, I just want to tell you right now, I'm never working for you.
	I'm going off and doing my own thing.
	And she got like corporate jobs, stuff like that.
	So I wouldn't say anyone's like overly like rep, like I'm a reptile nut, right?
	Like there's not probably, I mean, there's probably two days out of a year that I'm not around a reptile, right?
	Like I'm always around a reptile or an animal.
	You know, sometimes it's not a reptile, but maybe I'm around, you know, whatever.
	I mean, you know, lions or whatever.
	But I'm always around animals whereas, you know, no one in my family has that gene where I'm just obsessed.
	You know, they tolerate it.
	You know, my wife works because that's what she does.
	And she's, she's learned to like love the animals, but she's not.
	Like, listen, I always say, like, if tomorrow I was like, we never have to see a reptile again, she's not going to cry.
	Right.
	I mean, She'll be like, okay, that's good.
	Let's move on.
	Here's a question that came in right here from some good gentleman right here.
	This is Roy, I think.
	Hey guys, it's Roy here from Kansas.
	I was excited when I saw you guys were doing a podcast together because I watched both of you pretty religiously.
	Theo, I wanted to know what advice you have for Brian's son, Noah.
	I don't know if he's going to be on the podcast or not, but I know he's been trying to do a little bit of stand-up locally where they live.
	What advice would you give him as a amateur to maybe make it in the big leagues one day?
	Also, I wanted to tell Brian, I successfully hatched my first two clutches of all pythons this year, or last year, I guess.
	I'm getting ready to pair up all the females again this year.
	Okay.
	And probably have about six clutches this year.
	So anyway, gang, gang.
	Thank you, Voldemort.
	Awesome.
	Look at that.
	Yeah.
	Awesome advice.
	What do you got, you know?
	That is a good question, man.
	Thank you for the question, Roy, man.
	I appreciate you paying attention to myself and to Brian.
	That's cool, man.
	It's interesting what kind of people would pay attention to you and me.
	Yeah.
	You know, that's real interesting.
	I'm sure there's a lot of crossover.
	I'm sure there is.
	Yeah, you know, I find it interesting.
	Sometimes you'll partner up with people like, okay, what is happening?
	You know?
	I would say, for Noah Who Is Here, by the way, good to see you, Noah.
	I would say, I even think in the beginning, dude, I used to tell Jim Gaffigan's jokes, right?
	What?
	Yeah.
	I told this to Jim Gaffigan.
	What?
	He was on my time.
	I said, look, dude, I just want to apologize to you.
	I didn't have any jokes in the beginning.
	I just need to tell your jokes.
	Hot pocket?
	Is it the hot pocket thing?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, I told a couple of them.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It was good.
	I think I even sold t-shirts based on one of his jokes one time.
	So I would tell the joke and then sell a shirt after the show.
	But what it did for me was it just got me used to telling jokes on stage.
	I had plans to tell my own jokes, and I had some of my own jokes peppered in there.
	But it just got me comfortable telling jokes.
	Sure.
	So it was like, it wasn't anything that was being recorded or anything like that.
	So it just got me like, how do I learn to get whatever some of this comfort is?
	Sure.
	And then I think one benefit that Noah probably has is that your dad is a unique character, right?
	My dad was a unique character.
	My dad was 70 when I was born.
	Everybody knows that.
	So like, it just gave me a lot of material.
	It was like, you know, it gave me a lot of like cute kind of little jokes that were safe, that were pretty clean that I could tell about my dad, you know.
	And so I've always felt like that was kind of a blessing.
	Like I was always angry that my dad, not angry, but it was always felt odd.
	You know, kids always want to be just regular.
	Kids always want to be like, you know, nothing that stands out real crazy.
	Sure.
	You know, your dad comes to show and tell and he's the fucking guy out there who's doing magic or something.
	You know what I'm saying?
	That kid is probably going to get beaten down.
	But it's like, so I think if your dad comes and your dad comes to show and tell and he's like, I was born in 1910, you know, that's a weird time for the class.
	Yes.
	So I think it could, there's just a lot of unique material when your dad is unique like you are.
	So I think that that's, I would play on just easy stuff in the beginning.
	Yeah.
	So those are things that I think are just probably gifts that are in your wheelhouse.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	When you come from a family, I mean, there's a lot of stories, right?
	I mean, you know, mom and dad are, you know, have a reptile zoo.
	We travel all over the world.
	We do crazy stuff been on Discovery Channel.
	You know, there's a lot of material there.
	It's a weird, it's a weird life, right?
	You know, I say that all the time.
	I mean, like, I've lived the craziest life ever.
	You know, I mean, it's the weirdest thing.
	Like, I literally clean snake shit for a living.
	You know what I mean?
	It's like, it's the weirdest thing, but yet I get to do the most amazing things on the planet.
	You know, it's like, you know, most people look at me and like, how did this happen?
	I'm like, I don't even know how it happened.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I don't even know how I got here.
	You know, I'm sitting in Theo Vaughn's podcast room here.
	You know, it's crazy, right?
	Yeah, it is.
	I mean, it's definitely interesting.
	Yeah, I'm trying to think of some more and more of my curiosities about snakes.
	So snakes, why do snakes eat rats and stuff like that?
	Well, most of them eat rats or rabbits or pigs or whatever the case may be.
	They're just carnivores, right?
	But there are snakes that eat really weird things, like snails.
	Some will eat worms.
	Some will only eat slugs.
	Other snakes eat only other snakes or mainly other snakes.
	Like king cobras eat mainly other snakes in the wild.
	So they're a very diverse animal, right?
	But in captivity, most snakes that people keep are mice and rats.
	Do snakes ever do anything fun together, you think?
	No, no, I don't think so.
	They're pretty solitary animals.
	We keep most of our snakes separate, except for breeding.
	I think they just want to be left alone.
	I think they're not like a real social animal.
	Although there's like the Narcisses snake dens.
	If you want to pull that up, it's pretty cool.
	Narcissi snake den up in Manitoba, Canada.
	It's crazy.
	It's the place you would love to go, I'm sure.
	And is it outdoors or it's an indoors?
	It's outdoors.
	So it's a natural occurring thing.
	It's a naturally occurring snake den that is.
	This is your nightmare right here, dude.
	I mean, thousands and thousands of snakes gathering together.
	Yeah, thousands and thousands of snakes.
	But it's crazy.
	I mean, it's like it's a super popular tourism place.
	People go and see these thousands of snakes that have denned together for hibernation or broomation is what they would call it.
	And pretty crazy, right?
	Damn.
	I've never been.
	I want to go.
	I want to go so bad.
	I've never seen anything like it, but I want to check it out.
	It's like Burning Man.
	Yeah, Burning Man for snakes, right?
	Exactly.
	It's like burm.
	Yeah.
	It's like Burning Man.
	And how much snakes are there and why are they there again?
	Well, they're just brew mating.
	So a lot of times in particular species like garter snakes will brew mate together.
	So they're mating?
	They're not even mating.
	No, they're just like going to sleep for like a hibernation for.
	Okay, so they sleep in a group?
	Yep.
	They just sleep in a group and then they wake up.
	And then when they wake up, then they get into breeding and you'll have like breeding modes and stuff like that.
	And then, yeah, I mean, that's pretty much it.
	And then they'll go on their own way.
	During the summer months, they're not together at all.
	Have a snake ever eaten an animal and then the animal lived and cut open the snake and got out?
	Well, I don't know of any that have lived, but there have been like there's actually a famous picture, you can pull this up to an Burmese python eats alligator and explodes out of the alligator explodes out of the Burmese python.
	What the fuck are y'all doing, dude?
	Oh my.
	I'm sure.
	Well, you're going to have to clear your cache when we're done here, man.
	I mean, y'all got to chill with all of this shit.
	So you can see the second picture here, right over.
	Not that one, that one right there.
	That's actually an alligator that's busting out of a snake's gun, you know, stomach.
	So.
	Yeah, it's crazy, right?
	Yeah, man.
	Nature, man.
	It's awesome.
	It fucking scares me so much, man.
	I think that's the thing that scares me sometimes about dying is going back and becoming part of something that I'm scared of.
	Right.
	Yeah, you could be a snake.
	Who knows, man?
	Or even as a part, you know, becoming like a cell in the snake, it really does.
	That's the thing I think that scares me the most about them is like, is that they are closer to whatever the source of like life is that I feel like than as humans.
	You've evolved that way.
	But maybe, maybe, and I'm no expert in this, Buddhism or whatever, but maybe you keep moving forward, not backwards.
	Yeah.
	The next life, you're supposed to be one step closer to the enlightenment, right?
	Yeah, no, you could be right.
	No, no, I think you're right.
	I think that it's like, but I just wonder which way is the enlightenment going?
	It's like, I don't know what the scale is.
	Yeah.
	You think you start off at the beginning and then end up a single-cell amoeba somewhere?
	Yeah, like that's what I don't know.
	It's like, I don't know which way and which way you're passing.
	Like, are you headed this way?
	Are you does whatever you did in this turn in this, you know, this space in the firmament, does that choose wherever you're going to be at next?
	Kind of?
	Yeah, I choose to think that it'll be better next time.
	Yeah.
	If there's a next time.
	That's a really good outlook, I think.
	I'm an optimist.
	Are you?
	Yeah.
	You seem like an optimist, man.
	Yeah, really nice.
	You're not.
	I would like to be, I think.
	I think I am.
	I just think I'm just like a burnt out optimist.
	Gotcha.
	Not even drug-induced.
	Just like, oh, God.
	So, yeah.
	I've been thinking optimistic for so long, I'm tired of thinking it that way anymore.
	Yeah.
	Understood.
	And you're always battling the dark arts, I feel like.
	So you're like, man, you want to see more of the light, you know?
	Yeah.
	I think that's one thing that's neat about, well, it's one thing that's neat about life in general is if you get off of like a lot of like the news and the BS and Twitter and a lot of that, you get back to the things that are more important.
	And there is a lot of joy and a lot more optimism.
	Yeah, I don't watch the news, man.
	I like boycotted it about two years ago.
	I was like, I'm done.
	Don't get that in my life anymore.
	Negativity breeds negativity, man.
	It's like that.
	I just want to get rid of all the negative stuff in my life.
	Surround myself with positivity, you know.
	And that's the thing that's nice about animals, right?
	I mean, you get what you give, right?
	You give them good, you know, it's like a dog, right?
	If you love your dog, he's going to love you back, you know, and it's the same thing with reptiles and all animals for that matter.
	Is there a reptile that you feel?
	I mean, you mentioned that lizard that can love you kind of?
	Yeah.
	Oh my gosh, yeah.
	I mean, it's crazy.
	And I don't know if love is the right term for a reptile.
	I don't know what they're thinking.
	I have no idea.
	But they definitely seem to have this, you know, some seem to have this really interesting bond where, you know, like I have a giant anaconda, the one I was talking about, not the one that had the virgin birth, but the other female that, you know, you go in her cage and she'll crawl right up to you and just like sniff you like a dog, you know?
	And I mean, I've had like other reptile people that have been working with reptiles for decades come and sit in the cage and they're like, I can't believe this.
	This doesn't even make sense to me because it's like you would think a snake wants to go away from you.
	She actually literally wants to come over to you and sniff you.
	And literally she'll, as soon as you go in her enclosure, it's a gigantic enclosure.
	It's 10.5 by 10 octagon waterfall, the whole shot.
	And she loves to be in the water.
	You go in the water, she'll be right in there, swirling around your legs.
	I mean, yeah, so I think they at least have a bond.
	I don't know if it's love, but it's a bond for sure.
	Do people ever rent snakes out from you?
	Do you do like snake rentals?
	You know, I don't rent snakes, but we've worked with, you know, we've done a few things with like film and stuff like that where like, hey, can you bring a snake for the day or something on that lines?
	Up in Detroit, has Kid Rock ever rented a snake from you?
	You know, I haven't met Kid Rock.
	I met Eminem at an animal show I was doing once.
	Kid Rock, we just haven't crossed paths.
	My tattooer tattoos him, so it's interesting that we haven't crossed paths at some point.
	But I would think he would be into reptiles.
	Seems like a guy that would be into reptiles, but we just haven't crossed paths.
	But I do have people that their main job is to rent snakes to like movies and stuff like that, commercials.
	But I just don't do that.
	It's something I probably could do more if I wanted to, but I don't care about it that much.
	Was there a lot of sacrifice?
	Because if you did so much stuff, it seems like with the animals, was it hard to run a family and have that at the same time?
	Or was things pretty manageable?
	Did it all seem okay?
	No, dude.
	I mean, just like in your career, man, when you're committed, you're committed.
	Now all of a sudden, with you, you're probably working constantly, traveling, doing all these other engagements.
	I'm taking care of thousands of animals, right?
	And they don't take Christmas off, right?
	They don't have a holiday, you know.
	So Christmas morning, we are opening presents with the kids, and then I'm off to the shop to make sure everything's healthy and happy.
	And so tons of sacrifice, you know, I mean, you know, running businesses are sacrifice.
	And then a live animal business is even a giant sacrifice, you know, because you're always, and then, you know, on my end, because I film every day, you know, for my vlog.
	And then now I got that I have to do every day.
	So, yeah, the balance is tough.
	Have you ever got a crazy call?
	Somebody hit a snake or the cops or need a snake for something, a man been hiding a snake, something's going on.
	No.
	Do you ever get called in because they're like, oh, we know a guy?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, I've been called into, as a matter of fact, the real estate agent just two days ago called me and said that there was a snake in a house she was renting similar to what happened to you and said can you come by and get this snake i don't know what to do so we get calls like that or like the local authorities will call us if they you know maybe someone moved out of a house and left snakes behind or reptiles behind or or stuff like that we so we will do that you know it's not something that i you know it's part of my life or something Like that, but I'm happy to help at any point I can, you know, but it's always weird.
	I put out about probably 20 pounds of snake repellent this morning that smelled like cinnamon, I thought, a little bit.
	So that's an interesting thing, right?
	It's like I heard you say that, and you're right, you know, like cinnamon is one, pepper is another one that people talk about.
	I don't think any of them work, to be honest with you.
	I think it makes you feel better.
	Right.
	I mean, not that now I'm making you feel worse, but I'm not sure that anything breaks the thing.
	But if I was a betting man, I think your invasion is over and you're not going to see a snake again.
	Is there worth setting any kind of trap inside or anything like that to see if there's more snakes in there?
	Would they come and get it, like a mouse trap or something?
	No, no, no, not really.
	I think there was a guy one time made this snake trap thing that supposedly worked.
	So first off, snakes oftentimes want to be along a wall.
	Like they don't want to be in the middle of the floor because that's dangerous, right?
	You know, danger, danger.
	I'm in the middle of everything.
	So they'll like be along the walls, right?
	And so he actually took like a two-liter Pepsi bottle that was an opening that it could get into and put like a little mouse in there and it could get into it, but then wasn't smart enough to figure out how to get out of it.
	Interesting.
	You know, so that was the only snake trap I've ever seen that apparently worked, but I've never tried it.
	And, you know, we don't get mini snake escapes, but we get the occasional snake that escapes, you know, from a drawer or something like that.
	And then we have to try to find it.
	Probably, you know, I actually had a 19-foot snake escape once, but that was my fault.
	Listen, every time a snake escape, it's always my fault.
	I've always accidentally left a latch undone or a lock undone.
	And she wasn't a happy snake either, so it was a lot of fun catching her.
	Have a snake ever killed its owner that you know of?
	They have, yeah.
	Yeah, they have.
	It's not common, but it does happen.
	I think there's been about, there's probably been about five or six deaths in the United States in the last 30 years.
	Oh, it's not that many.
	So it's not many.
	It's not many.
	It's far less than even shark attacks, you know.
	So it's pretty.
	Now, again, it happens in the wild more in Indonesia and the Philippines, big giant reticulated pythons will take people a little bit more common.
	Again, I don't think multiple per year, but it does happen.
	I mean, just maybe two years ago, I remember seeing a story of a woman went out because her pig was squealing, right?
	And she went out to go figure out what was happening with the pig.
	Obviously, there was a snake there.
	And the next morning, they found her slippers and a giant snake with a huge lump in it.
	And they actually caught the snake and she was inside.
	So, yeah.
	She was deceased?
	Oh, yeah.
	Damn.
	But it's a rare thing.
	Like I said, in America, it's very, very rare, you know.
	And again, usually it's, you know, listen, you know, that's why you shouldn't handle a big snake without someone else there.
	I have never, we've always had the policy, got to have two people just in case.
	And I've never been in danger my entire life.
	Never once has a snake almost killed me.
	If a snake starts swallowing your friend, what do you do?
	What is the other about, what are you supposed to do?
	So we have a policy, as much as I hate to say it, is that if there's ever a situation where someone's in danger, you kill the snake, you know, immediately.
	Like, I mean, there's no second chance.
	You know, you can't take the risk of trying to get that snake off if it's danger mode, right?
	Because if you have a 18, we have snakes that are almost 200 pounds.
	You know, if that thing is for some reason, and we've never had it happen, but if for some reason that is constricting you, you don't have much time.
	I mean, it's going to black you out.
	You know, you follow UFC.
	I mean, you'll put someone to sleep pretty quick, right?
	You can imagine a snake this big, it's going to put someone to sleep real quick, you know?
	Once you're asleep, do they then let go?
	Can they tell when you're asleep?
	They'll squeeze you till you're done, right?
	You know, so they're not going to, you're not just going to play dead.
	Yeah, so you can't play dead.
	You know, you can't be like, oh, I'll just play dead and they'll let go.
	I mean, it'll hang on to you for 20, 30 minutes, you know, and then release.
	What should you do if a snake started wrapping around you?
	Hit it with your car keys or something?
	99.9999% of the times when a snake is wrapping around you, it's holding onto you like it wants, like you're a tree.
	It's just trying not to fall.
	It's just trying not to fall.
	It is, like I said, I've never experienced a snake trying to kill me or anyone around me ever.
	So I don't know what would trigger a snake.
	Maybe it's hungry.
	Maybe you haven't taken care of it and haven't fed it properly.
	I'm not sure.
	I don't know what would trigger a snake to try to constrict you.
	I've never seen it.
	So I don't think it's, I think people think it happens.
	And even, you know, when people see me have a giant anachrona around my neck, they're like, isn't it going to kill you?
	You know, you're like, no, it's just hanging on to me, man.
	It's like literally, I'm like a tree, you know, and it's going to wrap around you so it doesn't fall, right?
	Right.
	You know, it's not trying to kill you.
	Do you, is there another question that came in, Spence?
	Anything else we want to get to?
	Got him.
	So my question is, how do you feel about like all the hate that you get?
	People say you don't take care of your animals correct, whatever.
	Like, I don't know.
	I've watched you for a few years.
	I don't know.
	Very interesting.
	It's crazy taking care of a bunch of reptiles like that.
	But I just want to feel your opinion, like, on all the hate, all that shit.
	Sorry, it's windy out here, y'all.
	Gang, gang.
	Windy inside everywhere, man.
	Why do animal people get so much?
	You don't take care of your animals?
	Why is that such a common thing in the animal world?
	I think it's not just in the animal world.
	I think that hatred comes from success, right?
	You know, just like you, you have a big following.
	I guarantee you there are people out there that think you're bad for whatever reason, right?
	People are mean.
	Yeah, and so, like, I can tell you this much.
	No one that's ever visited my place has ever said, I haven't taken care of an animal.
	You know what I mean?
	It's always just the people that, like, are jealous or like, oh, my God, this guy's got a big following.
	And it doesn't even bother me, to be honest with you, because I know, right?
	I don't have to prove to anybody what the deal is.
	I know that.
	I mean, you can't go to a place that's better kept than ours.
	I mean, the animals are impeccably kept.
	And we have a crew that's really great.
	So, so, yeah, that stuff, I think that just comes with being successful.
	You know, it comes with people following you.
	You know, when you have five people that follow you online, no one cares.
	But when you have millions of people that follow you, you know, their voice, you know, that minority, that vocal minority, and they, you know, you know, I'm sure you get the same thing.
	The most crazy things get made up about me that's wild.
	I'll read something.
	I'll be like, what in the world?
	Like, like, you know, it's like.
	He's building a Noah's Ark.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Who knows?
	You know, I mean, I hear all kinds of stuff.
	You know, it's like, and he's building a Noah's Ark.
	And you're like, that's fucking insane.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	But all kind of shit.
	But I think that, you know, as you know, in your position, that you know, we signed up for this, number one, right?
	I mean, no one told us to become social media or comedians or whatever.
	We decided to do it.
	So we have to take the good with the bad.
	The bad is loudmouths that like to have their 15 minutes of fame with the keyboard, you know?
	And you have to learn how to just not worry about it.
	It's a little bit more difficult with animals because when someone hears like you're not taking care of your animals, then people are like, oh my God, he's an animal abuser.
	Whereas if someone's like, you know, like Theo stole Jim Gaffikin's jokes when he was, you're like, eh, whatever.
	It didn't matter as much.
	So people take that more serious.
	Animal things are hot.
	It's always such a hot topic.
	I think especially when that Joe Dirt, Joe Tiger King.
	Yeah, Tiger King, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Did you ever run across that guy?
	I didn't know Joe, but I knew almost everyone else in the series.
	Almost everyone else in the series was a friend of mine.
	So it was definitely a very, as a matter of fact, the scene, if you remember, the scene opens up at a reptile place.
	If you remember.
	And so he's at a reptile place, guy named Tom Crutchfield.
	And then all of a sudden there's a van, Mark McCarthy, a buddy of mine, and there's a snow leopard in it.
	And he says, wow, this took me on a completely different direction.
	That series was originally supposed to be a reptile series.
	It turned into a tiger series because he just happened to be at my friend Tom Crutchfield's place, which, by the way, they've now filmed that reptile king.
	I don't know what it's called.
	I think it's going to be called Lizard King, to be honest, because there was a book called Lizard King from Brian Christie was a bestseller.
	And a guy named Ray and Mike Venostrum were the Lizard Kings and their reptile people.
	But Tom Crutchfield also was one of their main guys.
	That's how that whole thing started.
	It was supposed to be shot about Ray Venostrum, Mike Venostrum, Tom Crutchfield, and a couple other guys.
	And it turned into Tiger King.
	But yeah, I'm friends with Mario, the guy that Scarface is.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's literally Scarface was made after him.
	I've known Mario for a long time.
	Pretty much all the guys in the series I've been friends with.
	The Myrtle Beach.
	Doc Antle?
	Doc Antel's wild.
	Yeah, he seems interesting.
	Interesting is a word for it.
	That's exactly what he said.
	That whole thing, I mean, listen, I don't know how they make it work, man.
	But they do.
	I see what they do with these animals, and I'm like, I don't know how people aren't dying, but they got it.
	Oh, I don't know.
	His son isn't dead every day.
	He's out there eating damn mangoes with a damn snow cat or whatever.
	Yeah, no, I mean, but it works, man.
	I mean, they somehow have those animals dialed in.
	And it's, you know, like, I don't know, man.
	I mean, I give them a lot of respect from the standpoint that they really know their stuff because no one's ever been hurt there.
	And you're walking around with a liger that's 800 pounds or whatever.
	You know, it's like, that's crazy.
	I got to go over there.
	You should, man.
	Just see it.
	I'm supposed to go to Charleston in a couple weeks.
	Maybe I'll try to stop on the way.
	Let me know.
	I'll hook it up, man.
	That'd be a great idea.
	Help you out, man.
	Is it hard to support?
	Like, does your wife and children have other interests?
	Are you so reptiled in that it's ever like hard to like because I find it hard in my own life.
	I get so caught up in my own stuff that it's like, man, I've created so many things that are busy.
	It's hard for me to put them down and recognize other people's interests and stuff.
	And it's not a judgment.
	It's just a curiosity.
	No, no, I think you're 100% right.
	I think that, you know, if you're doing things the way, I mean, this is a, let's go back to the balance thing.
	I am so unbalanced, dude.
	You're right.
	You know, I mean, like, I work like way too much.
	I mean, you know, it's hard to have other interests at all.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I'd love to go out and play hockey or play baseball or something like that on the weekends.
	That just ain't going to happen.
	You know, I'm too busy.
	And it's the same thing.
	My wife is, you know, she's 24-7 with me.
	So we try.
	We're trying.
	But it's hard, man.
	Because you've done everything you can do, I feel like.
	Well, that's just...
	Right.
	Well, this is the thing that's great about my life.
	And same thing with yours, is that I'm doing all this crazy work, but in the meantime, I'm like, you know, on a freaking island in the middle of Indonesia, you know, in a cave with snakes, you know, or I'm traveling around or even, you know, like again, you know, just like the first time I met you, you know, I'm going to a comedy show and then going back and meeting Theo Vaughn, you know, that's what everything is.
	When I go to a baseball game, I'm meeting the baseball players.
	So you might work your butt off, but at the same time, you're winning because you're living an extraordinary life.
	Even though you're working like a dog, you're like doing things that people can only dream you could do, sitting in a room talking with Theo Vaughn for two hours or whatever.
	It's a blessing, but yeah, there's not a lot of balance, man.
	Like, you know, I'm not sitting around playing bocce ball very much, that's for sure.
	Yeah, it's tough, man.
	It is interesting.
	And I don't know if it goes back to something inside of me that wants to work all the time, if it goes back to a fear of being like not seen or something.
	I don't know.
	Do you know what made you, what drove, what drives you?
	Have you ever thought back on that?
	Oh, gosh, yeah, 100%.
	It's, you know, the typical, you know, parents never thought you'd amount to anything.
	You're never going to be good enough.
	You're never going to be the, you know, your brother and sister are going to be more successful.
	And then you have that chip.
	You know, you're like, you're pro.
	I tell people all the time, I've been trying to, you know, prove to my dad that died 10 years ago how good I am.
	And that's what it is, right?
	I mean, it's, you know, listen, I've got a lot of pathologies, right?
	You know, and I know them all.
	I've been through therapy plenty, you know, so I get it.
	You know, I'm driven because of things that happened to me when I was young.
	But at the same time, like I've said, it's like I'd rather be driven to do something great than be driven to do something wrong.
	You know what I mean?
	Hey, that fork was in the road when I was 16, 17 years old.
	Oh, that tongue split at the end, baby.
	Yeah, I could have gone the other way and I could have been doing bad things my whole life.
	I mean, I tell people all the time, I'm an addict up to, you know, more than an addict you can imagine.
	I just choose my addictions to be positive addictions and not drugs and alcohol and bad stuff, right?
	Interesting.
	I got one last question.
	When you travel around the world and you go to these different cultures and stuff, is there a culture that you feel like that is most closest to nature that you get like a sense like, man, these people are right, are so much closer on the cusp of nature than maybe U.S. culture or of our culture.
	Well, for me, it's always been the continent of Africa.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, you know, Africans are more in tune with animals for sure.
	Wow.
	Now, you know, see, Australia embraces animals, but Australia, you've been, I'm sure.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, they're very, it's like America with an accent, you know, really.
	But you also, when you go to the store, there's gummy snakes and there's, you know, there's koala bears everywhere.
	And, you know, I mean, they're very, they embrace nature.
	Yeah, those animal little sanctuaries and zoos all over.
	You pull off any, yeah, you pull off at a damn truck stop and there's somebody in there fucking tickling a little koala or a little nochi or whatever that little animal is.
	Waka.
	A waka.
	Yeah.
	What is it called?
	That smiling animal?
	Oh, that's a kooka.
	Kwoka.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That one right here, right on my arm.
	Happiest animal in there.
	But I think the Africans are, you know, although Australians embrace wildlife, they still live in homes and stuff like that.
	Africa, especially if you get into the bush, I mean, those people, I mean, it's a way of life.
	I mean, they've got lions and they've got, you know, leopards and they've got rhinos and elephants living amongst them.
	And it's a, it's a, I love being in the bush in Africa.
	You know, that's like the probably purest places I've ever been in my entire life.
	And the people there are, you know, I went to a place called Dictari School for, Bush School for Kids, and they would take these kids from the bush and bring them into this little camp for two weeks.
	And the first thing they would teach them is how to flush a toilet because they had never seen running water before.
	And I was lucky enough to come in and spend some time teaching these kids about wildlife, right?
	And to them, wildlife can be scary because you wake up in the morning and your uncle Johnny got killed by a lion or whatever.
	So everything is.
	And he was the breakfast chef.
	Right.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And so, but then you teach them that these animals can be respected.
	And it's amazing.
	I mean, and I've never been to a rural village in Africa that they aren't all smiles and aren't all like loving life, even though they have virtually nothing.
	And so, yeah, I think Africa is a place.
	I mean, it's a place I always get called back to, right?
	Like when I want to go and just feel nature, that's where you go.
	And have you been to Africa?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I've had some great experience.
	Yeah, I would say similar.
	You look in some people's eyes here, and it looks like they go so far back.
	Yeah, it does.
	It feels like you're home when you're in Africa.
	That's what I always say.
	It's like, as a matter of fact, there's a great saying that says, once your boot has stepped its foot in Africa, you can never get the dust off.
	And I think that that's a real true story.
	It's like it's an always calling for you to come back.
	And I can't wait till we can do some more traveling, get back to places that I love like that.
	It's awesome.
	Where do your kids like to go?
	Well, Noah is a big traveler.
	And my daughter is she's more like, she'd go to a resort, you know, something like, she's that type of a traveler.
	Whereas Noah is more of an adventurous traveler.
	I think, you know, he over the, you know, he's been a lot of places, but I think over the rest of his life, he'll see the places I've seen, you know, and we've been to some pretty crazy things.
	I mean, I've, again, you know, some of my travels have been ridiculous.
	You know, I mean, probably the craziest, you know, travel thing that I ever did once was I was in Indonesia, and there's this famous guy named Brady Barr.
	I don't know if you've ever heard of him, Nat Geo guy, you know, like presenter, you know.
	And there's this really famous scene where he's in this cave in Indonesia in a place called Astanular.
	And he gets bit by a big reticulated python right in the Gooch.
	Right in the Gucci gets him.
	And he's in Batguana, right?
	And he gets bit and he screams like crazy.
	You pull him up.
	Yeah, there's Brady Barr.
	And like I said, the most famous thing Brady ever done was get bit by a reticulated python in this thing.
	So we had, I was in Indonesia.
	I was in Indonesia and I get this, literally, I have a piece of loose leaf paper, dude, with a map drawn, a drawn map, how to get to the cave, right?
	Now, this cave is on an island called Labanbajou.
	And so I, and all I have is a loose leaf paper.
	Loose leaf paper literally says, fly from Bali to Labanbajou, drive 43 kilometers up to Astana Ular, hike an hour down a trail to the cave.
	That's all I got, right?
	So I literally pack my backpack, one change of clothes.
	I've got some camera gear.
	It's me and a friend of mine, and we get on a prop plane, fly two hours off of Bali to Labanbajou, get there.
	Taxi driver that we had arranged in the beginning, like not taxi, but a driver, like he's supposed to take us there.
	We get there and he's like, oh, no, no, I'm not going to Astana Lara.
	That's way too dangerous to get up into that.
	And I'm like, what?
	We literally just flew here, right?
	So I fortunately had a friend that was really connected in Indonesia.
	I call him up.
	He gets on the phone with him.
	I don't know what he tells.
	I don't know if he threatens him, bribes him.
	I have no idea what happened.
	So finally he's like, all right, let's go.
	We're doing this, you know?
	So we drive 43 kilometers.
	Takes us literally like four hours because the roads are so bad to get up there.
	Get up there.
	We get into this little village called Istana Ular.
	And we have to get passage from the elder, the chief, like if we can go to the cave because it's a holy cave.
	And so literally, you get up there and they probably don't see too many white people.
	They probably seem Brady Barr was the last white person they probably saw, right?
	And so we, you know, all the village folk are out.
	They're laughing, they're smiling, taking, you know, selfies and all this other stuff.
	And then now we got to sit down with the elders, right?
	And we go into this dark room about this size, and it's me and my friend.
	Is your friend cool?
	My friend's cool.
	He's from California.
	He's cool.
	He's hanging out.
	And then I've got my translator that was the guy that drove us here, right?
	He's going to translate for us.
	He's sitting next to me and we go in this dark room.
	Three elders sitting here, rest of the village behind them.
	Now they're all stoic, not even a smile on their face, right?
	And 15 minutes I hear, you know, they're talking back.
	No idea what they're doing.
	Survivor at the end of survivor.
	I'm like, and you got to remember, there are still parts of Indonesia that headhunt, right?
	You know, so at the end of this 15 minutes, at the end of this 15 minutes, I'm not even shitting you, man.
	I was texting my wife, hoping that maybe it would ping off something saying, I don't know if I'm going to make it out of here alive, right?
	And so at the end of this 15 minutes of go back and forth, the lead elder reaches back and some lady hands a machete.
	At that point, I thought I was dead.
	I'm like, okay, I'm done.
	I'm done.
	It's over.
	So he gets the machete, he puts it on his side.
	Everyone stands up, walks out.
	My translator's not saying shit to me.
	And I'm like, what is going on?
	So finally, he says, okay, I talked to the chief.
	He said, he will take you to the cave for like what equated to like 40 bucks.
	I'm like, oh my, I got $40.
	I saved my life.
	I got an escrow.
	I'm in.
	By the way, we would have never found this cave.
	It was a trail that like an hour into the bush, we would have been lost in 15 minutes, you know?
	But the guy took us into the cave, did this really badass ritual.
	He had an egg that was in a handkerchief.
	He like split the machete.
	He was to get off a sacred tree to knock a branch off.
	And then he puts the branch down, puts the egg on top, and then sings this ritual for safe passage into the cave.
	And so we go in there and the craziest hearties you could ever be at.
	Yeah, right.
	And so we go in there, back guano up to my waist.
	No way.
	I mean, just raining bat poop, right?
	You know, and we caught some snakes in there.
	And it was a great adventure, man.
	It was a great adventure, you know?
	So I think Noble will have those adventures in the future as well.
	You know, it's probably one of the coolest things I've ever done.
	I did fall into the back guano at one point, killed my camera, by the way.
	I had my camera slip fell into the baguano.
	I was covered in bat crap.
	Only had one change of clothes, and that was didn't have to hike an hour back up to the thing to drive four hours back home.
	So, yeah.
	Damn.
	Well, if he stays doing comedy, he won't have, I mean, he'll perform at the St. Louis funny bone.
	That's a real shithole.
	So he might not have different, it might not be the same type of shithole with the bat stuff, but it'll be just different type of shithole.
	Still got to watch yourself off at the end.
	Yeah.
	Brian Barzik, man, thank you so much, dude, for coming and just spending time with me, man.
	I really think it's fascinating.
	I wish if I'd have had a snake, I'd pet one, man.
	I got one.
	You want one?
	Did you guys really bring one?
	Bring one.
	Yeah.
	You want to get it?
	I was just saying that.
	I think you should.
	I think you should.
	If you'd be here with me, man.
	I'm here.
	I'm here, man.
	I'm right here.
	All right, let's get one, man.
	Let's see what's going on.
	And where is this snake from, brother?
	All right, I'm going to start.
	Hang on a second.
	Oh, Jesus Christ.
	Good, Theo.
	You shouldn't have done it.
	So, Theo, I'm going to start small, okay?
	Whoa, whoa, dog.
	What you doing, man?
	Come on, man.
	This is small.
	I'm going to start small.
	I've got one other snake you've got to check out.
	But check this out.
	This is called a pie ball ball pipeline.
	Look, it's got a smiley face on it.
	Okay.
	And it's got an upside-down smiley face.
	Okay, come on, man.
	Now, is these glasses?
	Is this going to scare him?
	Nope, not at all.
	This is drama.
	Oh, come on, man.
	That dude's moving around, buddy.
	Just hold your hands out like this.
	You're going to be good.
	He's going to know I'm scared because I know I'm scared right now.
	He's not going to care.
	He doesn't matter.
	Well, what about me?
	You can be scared, but you're not going to be afraid because you're going to feel it and you're going to be like, oh my wow, that's way cooler than I expected.
	You can't bite through this, can he?
	He can't bite you ever.
	I promise you.
	Okay, so what's going to happen then?
	Can I just put him on the ground?
	Can I put him on the table or should I put him in the air?
	You can put him in the ground.
	But if I have these bracelets, is that going to scare him?
	Nope, it's not going to scare him.
	I don't want him scared, dude.
	Let me just touch him first.
	Doesn't feel like it's not slimy.
	Okay, cool.
	So, you ready?
	You'll be fine.
	And then, let's do this real quick, and then I got one other thing I'll show you.
	See, that's not bad, right?
	The thought of holding a snake is way worse than actually holding a snake.
	He's just chilling.
	Okay.
	Okay, good.
	All right, let me show you one more.
	Jesus, dog.
	Damn, bro.
	I think I just had a Egg birth in my heart I feel like I just had a pair of what?
	Damn, boy.
	Now, this one's got to go around your neck.
	Damn, bro.
	Come on, bro.
	This one's got to go around your neck, alright?
	This was super sweet.
	It's the only way you can hold it.
	Hold on, dude, I can't even hear you right now.
	You have to give me at least 10 seconds, man, to chime in, man.
	All right, we got it.
	Damn, bro.
	You're going to be fine.
	Okay, now what is that snake doing?
	Where is that snake from, man?
	This snake is a Burmese python.
	It's an albino Burmese python.
	And it's not going to do anything.
	It's super tame.
	I mean, this is, I mean.
	It seems like it wants to do something.
	It's around like five-year-old kids all day long.
	God, dude.
	You ready?
	Yeah, now what are you going to do?
	You're going to put it on me, and then what do I do?
	Just sit here?
	Sit here, and I'll take them off when you tell me.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Super simple.
	Well, it just, hold on, dog.
	It just was breathing.
	It's just breathing.
	Why can't it fucking just breathe real quietly, more quietly, dude?
	Yeah.
	Just breathe it like a damn, like it's damn got a V6 in its neck.
	It's going to be fine.
	I gotcha, all right?
	Okay, let's wait till it's looking away.
	All right, I'm going to take it like this so it's looking away.
	You tell me when you're ready.
	Okay, and it's not going to go up my sleeves or anything, is it?
	Should I pin my sleeves closed?
	Nope.
	You're good.
	You're good.
	I gotcha.
	All right?
	Just like this?
	Yep.
	Like this?
	Okay.
	And if you put this hand out like that, you can control its head, and you're set.
	See?
	You did it.
	You proud?
	Yeah.
	You won.
	Can you take it?
	I gotcha.
	Thank you, brother.
	You got it.
	Jesus Christ, bro.
	Yeah, that was awesome, right?
	Fears, dude.
	That's what I feel for you.
	He dared.
	You did good, man.
	You did good.
	You should be proud of yourself, man.
	That's good stuff, isn't it?
	Yeah, can I try one more time with you?
	Yes, of course.
	I just want to feel the fear again.
	I told you.
	I told you this is how it happened.
	Am I good?
	You're good.
	He's just kind of cruising around.
	Do I hold him or anything?
	You're good.
	And how do I seem, okay?
	You're good.
	You seem a little stiff.
	That's fine.
	He seems fine.
	You can move.
	You can read.
	You can do all that normal stuff that people do.
	Alright.
	Ladies and gentlemen, we're grateful you're here tonight.
	Thank you.
	This episode brought to you about liquid death or just regular death.
	Okay, what is he looking at?
	He's looking at the plant.
	Okay, good.
	Yeah, man, he seems...
	No, he's a good guy.
	Trust me.
	I only brought good ones.
	Okay, thank you.
	Okay, I think I'm okay for today.
	That's good, though.
	Goodbye, buddy.
	There you go.
	Wow.
	You did good, brother.
	I'm proud of you.
	You're more powerful.
	See, it's like you won.
	It's like you won.
	In a way, I feel a little bit more.
	Yeah, like I won.
	Just like I did something, you know?
	Like I leaned into the discomfort.
	No worries.
	It means it's his lunchtime, I'm sure.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Just in time.
	Just in time, I took him back.
	So close.
	Yeah, so close.
	Wow, man.
	That's amazing, dude.
	Yeah, it's cool, right?
	I mean, when you do it, it's kind of, it's mesmerizing, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	That's what I told you is that people that, just like you, you know, the phrase, then you do it, and you're like, wow, let me do that again, man.
	Let me do that again.
	And then next thing you know, you're like really into it.
	I'm telling you, you know, if you were close to me, you'd be at my place every day.
	You'd be like, holy crap, this thing is awesome, you know?
	When we come up, man, I owe you a vlog.
	I'll come in there when we come up and we'll do something fun, man.
	You have to show me around a little bit.
	I'll try to be a little bit more brave.
	You were brave, man.
	You did great, dude.
	I feel good.
	It definitely makes me feel something.
	It makes me feel like I did something I didn't want to do a little bit.
	Yeah, I feel a little bit more like maybe, I don't know if it's maybe a little bit more confidence.
	I think you could see it, actually.
	I could see it in your face.
	You went from like terrified in the beginning to almost like, wow, this is all right.
	I got this, man.
	I got this.
	That's pretty awesome.
	You should be proud of yourself.
	I'm proud of you.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate it.
	Thank you for being here, too, man.
	Thanks for boosting my pride level today.
	Guys, if you don't know Brian, you can check him out.
	He has a huge YouTube channel, and you can experience everything that's all about all reptiles, not just snakes, right?
	Yep, right.
	Yeah, all reptiles.
	And he has two children, and he seems like a good guy.
	And we're happy he was here today.
	Thank you so much, bud.
	Thanks, man.
	It's been awesome.
	Thank you, brother.
	That's a cool thing.
	Where it's been blown.
	Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind.
	I found I can feel it in my bones.
	But it's gonna take me to the machine.
	Shine on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I will sing it just for you And I
	I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of mine.
	Pants in these worlds that I've been robbing on.
	There won't so thin that they're damned.
	Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
	The answer may shock you.
	Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
	Sometimes I won't.
	And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
	You have three new voice messages.
	A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
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	Easy to you.
	Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
	John Main.
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