Theo talks about the passing of comedic legend Norm Macdonald, fighting with his sisters over peanut butter and diving deep into his mental struggling with feeling like he's enough. Plus, Theo calls his childhood friend to swap stories about the late, great Billy Conforto to celebrate his life.
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I want to thank our sponsor, Liquid Death.
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Asheville, North Carolina.
I want to let you know that we have tickets going on sale for you.
Part of the Return of the Rat tour.
Can't even pronounce my own tour.
Damn, bruh.
Failure.
You're a piece of shit, kid.
It's at the Orange Peel.
That's where it will be.
Tickets go on sale tomorrow morning at 10 a.m.
Eastern.
The show will be October 24th.
Also, tickets are sold out in most places except for this weekend in Durham, North Carolina.
There's a few tickets left for the 926 show, September 26th.
September 30th in Chattanooga at the Tavoli.
October 2nd, Knoxville.
October 9th, Wilkes-Barre.
October 14th, Minneapolis.
October 23rd, Charleston.
November 10th, Burlington.
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Let's get into the episode.
Take a breath, baby.
When I was young, they would say, take a breath.
They'd come and they'd hold your lungs while you're breathing.
The doctor.
And he put that big cold stethoscope on your back.
We had a dude in our neighborhood who said he was a doctor.
He'd come, he had a cold ear.
One of his ears, he didn't have a lot of blood flow to it.
And he put that bitch right on your back.
And he said he was a doctor.
And I think dude, probably pedophile, pediophile, whatever.
Pedia, I think, is children.
But damn.
You know?
Mr. Rice, this fella hit you with that cold ear, boy.
He put that cold.
Mom would take you over there.
She didn't, you didn't know.
He said he was a doctor.
Nobody was saying they were doctor back then.
Nobody was, you know.
And he had some type of get up.
It looked like a doctor's outfit.
Could have been a damn Halloween costume.
I don't know.
I didn't know him that well.
I was a child.
But I remember we'd go over there and he'd put that blood, that one of his ears didn't get a lot of blood flow on it.
I think it was the right one.
And he'd put that bitch on your back or your front and listen to your heart.
And I remember one time I went over there, I was probably about 9, 10, dude listening to part of my ass a little.
I said, this is really...
You know what I'm saying?
This dude probably.
Where's his office?
Why are we at the park?
Why are we at the park, mom, for this doctor?
So there's all different types of docs out there, I guess, but I don't even know what I was talking about.
Anyway, man, a lot of bad doctors out there is what I'm trying to say.
A lot of false gods, baby.
You know?
And anyway, I'm happy to be here with you today.
You know, I know I'm happy to be here with you today.
We got a great new song by Evan Bartels.
And he played that song, The Devil God, and Me, for us a while back.
And we're going to close out with one of his new songs today.
What happened?
What have I been doing?
Oh, I was in, I hit the road.
I hit the road, man.
We had a good time.
We started out there in Peoria, Illinois.
Out there not far.
My mother's from not far from there.
And she's an adult now, but she was a child at one point.
And just a hardworking area, pretty simple area.
So we went over there to Peoria.
And it's a little dicey.
A little dicey.
But we had a great time.
A lot of nice people came out.
We did two shows there starting off the new tour, Return of the Rat tour, and kind of got the pieces put together.
We went combining.
We got in a corn combine and got to go cut corn, boy.
This fella Brandon and his brother, I think his brother, I don't know if he's well or not.
Who knows who's well?
But he's decent.
Both of them decent men.
And they took us out there riding.
we met them and they rode us in their combine in the corn cutter.
Damn beautiful, beautiful young fellas.
I thought they were lovers.
They said they're brothers.
I said, I bet if we turn our back, y'all be more than brothers.
You know what I'm saying?
But anyway, they were nice.
They seemed like nice guys.
They took us riding out there.
And it's just wild to think that you're riding through corn.
You're riding through damn cornbread.
You're riding through frosted flakes.
They're just cutting it all down.
Just making cornmeal, corn dogs, corn flakes, corn candy corn.
Just shooting out the back.
I wish the tractor, the cutter actually had a little corn popper in it.
And it just fed some kernels into there.
You press butter on that bitch or double butter.
You know what I'm saying, boy?
Too much double butter.
You're going to have that cold ear against your back, but you're going to have some pediophile out there hitting you with that cold ear on your spinal column, dude.
Trying to touch your ass in a park, son.
Anyway, whatever.
Good parenting.
But what I'm telling you is this.
We had a nice time over there.
And we took a day off just to be human and be out there.
And that's all I am is human, you know.
That's all any of us are.
A lot of expectation out there.
But all I am is human.
We had a beautiful time.
We went fishing over there.
I got a buddy, a friend of mine.
It's my brother's good friend named Danny.
Big Danny, they call him.
And he really, he looks just like Peter's wife from Family Guy.
And I say that out of love, beautiful man.
And he took us out there.
We went fishing.
Caught some fish.
And they do asphalt.
They took the day off and met us and him and his children.
We went fishing.
And it was a nice time.
And that was out in Toulon, Illinois.
I think anyway, we hit some small areas.
And then what did we do?
Oh, we rode over to St. Louis.
Let me hit this liquid death for a little bit before I tell you about that.
Ah, Liquid Death.
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Them kids are drinking Liquid Death.
So then we hit St. Louis.
I got to throw out the first pitch.
And we stopped along the way and practiced pitching.
Because look, I'm not a pitcher.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll throw a bunch of, I'll throw rocks sometimes.
I'll throw rocks if I'm skipping rocks.
I'll throw shade at a bitch.
You feel me?
I throw something away sometimes.
Sometimes I throw in the recycler.
Sometimes I don't.
You know what I'm saying, boy?
Dude, I'll take an 800-pack of loose leaf and put that bitch right in the trash if I'm really honest with you.
Okay?
If I'm really, really honest.
Now, if you want me to put my cold ear to your back and tell you something else, tell you you got measles, I can do it, but I'm not doing that.
This was beautiful, man.
And shout out Stubbles Clap, dude.
The guy, he's a beautiful guy.
He's a first base coach for the St. Louis Cardinals.
And they got a setup over there to throw out the first pitch, him and this lady named Emily.
And I'm grateful to them.
Bush Stadium, man, I didn't realize when you go to a baseball field, you go down on the field, and man, the grass, it is, it is like a.
It looks like a barber has been out there all night.
You know, it looked like somebody been out there with just manscaping the yard.
I mean, this thing looked.
This thing, it just, everything was there.
The sideburns and the outfit, there was just this light kind of gradient.
It just all damn.
It was beautiful.
Oh.
Made you want to look in your own ass kind of place.
You know what I'm saying?
That kind of deal.
But yeah, so that was really good, dude.
And then you get out there.
They had a nice jersey for me, little rat king hitter out there.
And I got up, dude.
And the ball I threw, it was a good pitch.
You know, we'd stopped in a few places and practiced.
It was a good pitch.
It was just on the outside of the box, just on the cusp.
So, but it was unbelievable, man.
Just to be out there, man.
Hey, ball!
Reminded me of my days out there on the Playville Cubs.
And a lot of people know that I played for Playville Cubs.
Some of our team probably died, I think.
A couple overdosers and a couple underdosers.
A couple people that never did any drugs, but just died anyway.
We played it out there on the American Legion field when we were children.
And the field was damn slanted, dude.
So every ball went to damn third.
Every ball went to left field, really, eventually.
You gave it long enough.
You set a stopwatch in 40 seconds.
A bunt would be in left field.
It was just the setup.
It was just, dude, we had six people playing left field.
And they put me out in right.
And it was just, it was dicey, dude.
I've told that story.
Playville Cubs or clubs.
Some of our jerseys said clubs.
Some of them said clubs on them.
A couple of damn misprints on them, dude.
Beautiful, brother.
But what else, man?
A lot of great stuff.
Then we went over to Cincinnati.
We played at the pageant.
I want to apologize for anybody.
Those shows were loud, man.
Just people were, it was just a, it was like, it's like a big bar in there.
And if you've been to a bar, you know there's things happening.
People's touching titty.
People's, you know, people's texting the babysitter.
You see a dude there with his wife.
He's dickpicking the babysitter.
Sending her little freaking meat JPEGs, you know.
This dude's over there.
He's JPEG and meat over to the freaking babysitter.
It's like, dude, your wife's right here.
He's like, she's got popcorn.
She's fine.
I'm like, all right.
Do what you guys do.
But yeah, still, people came out there were excited, man.
The excitement was there.
Cincinnati, we got to this place, the Icon Theater, and it never had a performance in it.
It had been unperformed in for comedy.
It had maybe five rock and roll shows.
A couple country music shows, I think.
But then we got there and we did comedy.
And man, that was really, really sick, dude.
That was sick.
It was about 2,300.
We had two shows and it was just like this beautiful kind of it kind of has like a part.
It had like a part like a really, it looked like a futuristic parking garage with nice seating in it.
And it was just, man, just thank you.
Thank you to everybody that came out and just helped us feel, you know, it's weird, like taking, letting go of some of the old jokes and trying the new and being brave enough.
You know, are they going to like them?
Are they going to like me?
You know?
So on a couple of the shows, I felt like all the shows were good.
I felt like one or two were maybe a little better than the others, but that's just it.
It could also be in my head.
I had some people tell me they thought the new tour was better than the old tour, and they'd seen that a couple times.
And there was still a little crossover between the two.
But anyway, man, it was just awesome, man.
Thank you for making my dreams come true.
I really do appreciate that.
And I want you guys to keep hitting the hotline.
Let me know who's listening to the show.
What do you do?
What do you care about?
What scares you?
Hit me.
985-664-9503.
A lot of unique things happen, man.
And I want to say we started the show in Peoria because there used to be a term, if it'll play in Peoria.
You know, a lot of vaudeville acts and, you know, different type of, you know, vaudeville used to be a real, it was people on the run from the law.
It was, you know, perverts and some musicians, but a lot of somebody, one dude get up there and just, you know, play with his wiener for an hour.
And he drew a G note on his nuts or something.
People are like, what is this guy doing?
You know?
So it just, you know, it's a lot.
It used to be vaudeville was a way to, you know, you could do a crime and the next thing you know, you tell people you juggle and you're traveling the universe juggling.
But there was a term, if it would play in Peoria, it would play anywhere.
And so that's one of the reasons kind of we started over there.
I wanted to just have a real small town vibe.
And it's not a small town.
It's a small city.
And it's a beautiful little city.
I was really impressed, man.
I hadn't been there in a while.
And I spent one Halloween there and I saw some dude in blackface actually, I don't want to say beat up, but abused a mermaid by a hot dog cart.
And that was at Halloween.
And, you know, that's what, what are we going to do now?
You know, it was probably seven, eight years, and 11 years ago, maybe.
And everybody, nobody died.
It was.
And she got some shots in.
You know what I'm saying?
That bitch was fanned up.
So, you know, it is what it is.
And that's how it all shook out.
But anyway, what are we talking about, man?
But yeah, Cincinnati, thank you.
It was just amazing.
I just can't believe that many people came out and care about the show and want to be a part of my life.
And it just, I don't know if I tell you guys enough how much it means to me.
So thank you so much.
And I love you.
I really do.
If I could just take my heart and just cut into different pieces, I'd mail you one.
You know what I'm saying?
Or I'd give one to your son or your child.
Put it in his little lunchbox.
Dude, my mom used to, we used to have to make our own lunches for summer camp.
And the worst thing that happened, the worst, you'd make the thing, you'd put the cooler in there with a little Kool-Aid.
That was it, making our Kool-Aid.
Sometimes it was too strong.
You had that shit that would just make it, damn, it would make your fucking neck retract.
You'd look like a turtle for the second half of the afternoon.
You couldn't even play hide and go see because you couldn't look around.
Your neck was, if you made that Kool-Aid powder too strong.
Because when I was young, you had to get the powder and get the water.
You had to do a little bit of science, baby.
Now it comes pre-packaged.
It's all done for you.
When I was young, you had to do a little bit of the work.
And I'd make my lunch, I'd put the Kool-Aid, get the thermos.
Then the thermos had a little lid on it that you could use.
You would take the lid off and drink out of the lid, a little cup, like you worked at a factory or something.
It's like, bitch, this YMCA summer camp.
Okay, and most of the counselors, dude, are, you know, work at the bank.
So let's be realistic about what's going on here.
We're not doing any sheet metal out here.
But the worst thing that happened was my sandwich, I get me a little sandwich.
Usually peanut butter and jelly.
sometimes honestly double peanut butter *sniff* I go no jelly, bro.
Sometimes I go no jelly.
And my sisters, I know, would get mad.
We make our sandwiches.
Sometimes I would come down before we made them.
I would get extra peanut butter, put it on the inside of the jelly jar.
Then I would have them just think I was doing jelly.
Because that's where I live.
I lived in a place where every freaking ounce was accounted for.
We had a lot of, you know, accounted for ounces, baby.
That's where we were.
And where am I now?
I'm upstairs.
You know that.
You know that, son.
But at the time, I was, it was accounted for ounces, baby.
My sisters, the second the spoon went in there, every other kid, the other kids would look over and be like, what are you, how much?
How much you getting?
How much are you, mom?
Look at me, how much you get?
How much are you getting?
So you had to sneak.
You had to be tactical, baby.
You had to be tactical.
Anyway, enough about me, man.
I want to know more about you guys.
We got a lot of beautiful questions that have come in today.
We got a call in a little while with this fellow named Chad, who was a really best friend of Billy Conforto.
And so, man, excuse me, man, we are so blessed to be able to speak with him for a few minutes.
And, you know, that's just God working in our lives, man, and letting Billy come back to us.
All right, let's get into the episode, man.
We got a lot of great stuff.
We're going to, man, a lot of wonderful calls and appreciated that.
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And you know what I'm talking about?
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If you walked into a classroom, my wiener be in the corner with a dunce cap on, son.
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And I'm sorry if you're using the D word so much.
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Here we go right here.
We got a call that came in right here.
And let's get into it.
Hey, CEO, I'm calling you live from the shower.
Just for consent's sake, I am nude.
I shower in the nude.
Okay, nude boy.
We got a nude fella out there.
You know what I'm saying?
This dude will put his ear to your back.
You know what I'm saying?
That dude running that fake hospital.
Gang, baby, let's go.
Come on.
I'm not just nude, man.
I'm angry.
A little angry.
Maybe you can delete that because I'm thinking you should have had Norm McDonald on your show, man.
Gosh.
That might be the great tragedy of comedy of this generation.
He says you guys fight five Jesus.
He's got five for nothing else, but you wouldn't fight Jesus.
Don't make these kind of jokes.
He said, okay, one second.
He did that joke immediately.
And I know that's you.
So I don't know, man.
I hope you talk to us more on your next episode.
And these two guys, you know, he was and you are great bizarre, dark sense of humor baby.
Thank you, brother.
And I didn't mean to cut you off, man, but I think you got a little showery, hard to hear you for a second, but I feel your sentiment.
And thank you for sending in the question.
To be naked and call another man is a that's a choice and I appreciate you here's one thing man it is really sad about Norm and I'll tell you why I felt like it's the most sad you know I texted Adam Egan I texted David Spade people that I knew that knew him decently you know Norm had been a recluse for
a while you know he'd really been one of those whatever it is that Boston spider or whatever the thing that bites people or something that gets you know a lot of court ordered separation or whatever I don't know if that's Boston I don't know I think I'm mixing things up but a lot of dudes in Boston have restraining orders that's what I'm saying separately what I'm saying is that Norm was a he kind of stayed away from people
it seemed like to me we reached out to him to have him on I think there was some discussion about it for a bit between him and Nick Davis or his producer and Nick Davis but never made it happen I didn't know he was struggling so bad I didn't hear even that he was the saddest part about it is that or to me this is all just to me and I'm just a human there's not a lot of comedians out there
there's not a lot of us there's a little bit of comedian in all of us and I think there's not a lot of comedians out there though and so when you lose one of them and not to mention one of the greats and one of the last ones that would speak his mind it feels like you're losing a book that nobody has copies of kind of that's
what it feels like I think especially with Norm like he go watch him back on that Joy Behar show or the one like the view and he's just giving those fucking chubby thoughts the what for you there you can just see they're all afraid to speak anything that's not written on the script from the producers and he's just doing what he wants and he stays there and he's got the joy of just a Mark Norman the whole
time just this childhood fever that they can't even fight with their freaking money-grubbing trap house soulless just lack it's not even comedy what any of them do it's not even and he shows up and
just toes they're like you're never gonna be back and he's like good good go watch that clip if you haven't we'll put it in the clips that's a special clip but the sad thing is there's not a lot of comedians so when you lose one not to mention one of the greats and one of the rarest types um and i really say this as a fan man i don't even i mean i am a comedian but i don't know if i feel like that sometimes you know norm is from just a different ilk to
be so sick and not even publicize it but to be like imagine you go to the zoo and they got like a white tiger in there you know or white llama or whatever and that bitch hides or whatever you know everybody the kids come they're spitting in each other's mouths trying to pretend like they're the llama or spitting in each other's eyes you know eating fucking llama you know llama you know little llama dogs or
whatever you know just just some some thick kids over there just double llama dogging little tiffany's over there and she's gonna have trouble in junior high i know that but you know what i'm saying man uh Yeah.
Yeah, it's just heartbreaking.
I'll tell you a good Norm story.
So, the only one I really have.
So, Norm and I are doing a show in Shawnee, Oklahoma, at a casino.
And there's an interesting group of people there.
You know, it's a lot of D-list celebrities like ourselves.
It's a lot of, oh, the guy from American Idols, Pants on the Ground, Johnny, or whatever.
It is Jerry, Black Jerry.
Black Jerry's there.
He's pulling his pants up and down and up and down.
I think his legs almost came at one point.
His pants had just crossed over him so much.
But anyway, this dude's in the lobby.
He's got his pants up.
He's got his pants down.
He's got his just fucking, he's got an extra suit.
He's got pants in a bag next to him.
Just people throwing pants on.
He doesn't even, you know, there's just pants and it's just, oh, just pants, pants, pants.
This fucking guy.
You remember him?
Golden Jerry or whatever it is.
Black Golden Jerry.
Dark Jerry.
Chocolate Jerry or something.
The singer.
Looking like a fool with my pants on the ground.
You know what I'm saying?
Then he brought, okay, the show ran late because he brought his girlfriend out.
Okay?
Like tits in the fucking wild John Netta or something.
So he's like, look, I love you guys.
Because I think he had to do a certain amount of time.
He brought her out and then he repeated tits on the side, tits on the ground.
I don't know what it was.
There's fucking tits.
I don't even know.
This bitch's got a briefcase full of tits.
I don't know what's going on.
Okay.
I'm upstairs, baby.
I'm not downstairs dealing with the shit.
I'm upstairs.
So anyway, I'm up there, and finally it's my turn to go on.
And because there's a comedy show the night before, there's a poker game the next day.
So this is the comedy show I'm opening up for Norman.
Norm, sorry.
I'm sorry, Mr. McDonald.
Norm.
Well, I went over.
I was trying to prove myself, I think.
I felt probably some sense of entitlement or I just went over.
I don't know.
I'm not a big light runner.
I don't know.
I have my moments.
I'm not like a black guy.
Black guy will run the light two and a half hours.
And that's not even a red.
Ask anybody.
That's what they do.
So anyway, I'm black guying.
I'm up there black guying.
I'm going long.
Adam Egot is there with Norm, who I didn't even know at the time, who would turn out to be the booker at the comedy store and one of my closest friends, actually.
And I love you, Adam.
If you hear this, just know I love you.
And I'm sorry you lost your buddy.
Anyway, so I go long.
And I think, I don't know if this is true.
Norm liked to have a pill every now and then.
Okay?
I think anyway.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure I think that.
Anyway, I don't know if he had a pill, and then he, and who doesn't have a pill?
Let me start there.
I'm not trying to shame Norm at all, and I want to say that.
I got some type.
I'm sure if you look at my antidepressant, whatever, the thing, the hair pill, there's something in my system right now.
I don't know anybody in there who's not on something.
Okay?
If you've had two mangoes this morning, bitch, you fucking jungled up.
You know what I'm saying?
We all got something going.
So anyway, I ran late, so I think Norm had kind of maybe, if he had taken any pills, he had scheduled the medication to kind of take effect at a certain moment.
I get up there and I went long.
So I think the medicine had kind of maybe started to come in a little early or maybe he was, I don't know.
But he gets up there, dude, and he's not using, he wasn't using the whole alphabet, okay?
He was going real just, it was like a lot of vowels only, a couple M's.
Anyway, you know, it was a great show.
And the next morning, and Adam Egot was like this motherfucker at me just because I ran late.
And I don't blame him, you know?
Which would make it years later when I got to the comedy store, it would make it tough for me to get in there.
And I didn't know that at the time, bro.
I never knew anything at the time.
And I still don't know anything.
If you frisked me for knowledge, bro, you'd be feeling a lot.
You'd be feeling for a, you'd be feeling.
Somebody bust you for feeling somebody before you'd bust me for having knowledge.
Point blank.
Baby, praise God.
So anyway, so the next morning, I'm downstairs.
It's a poker tournament.
Jerry Mathers is there, the Beaver.
And Jerry Mathers as the Beave.
He's there.
I go say, I'm sorry to Norm.
Norm's looking around the room.
A lot of chicks in there.
Not really a lot.
There's a couple chicks.
They had dudes in there with bigger tits than women.
It's fucking Oklahoma.
People's thick.
People's double bone.
You got a dude in there with nine shoulders.
You got a dude selling meat right off his own body.
You know, you go to some of those Middle Eastern shops and they're just cutting meat right off the thing.
This dude's doing that right off his arm.
Just right off of just chopping it right onto a damn bread.
People was over there buying meat off, you know, people buying a damn pack of six subs right off this dude's tricep.
So anyway, man, we got it going.
Everybody's doing decent.
And I go over to Norm, I apologize, and he goes, man, there's a lot of hot pussy in here, isn't there?
And I'm looking around the room, and there isn't.
There is not.
There was not.
But I think he's serious.
So I'm just like, I'm like, oh, here's a guy.
He's a little bit older.
Yeah.
So I say, yeah, man, sure is.
A lot of hotties in here.
And he goes, the fuck there are.
And it just, man, it took me to another level because here I am thinking, I'm placating this guy who's a little bit older than me.
Make him think, yeah, these chicks are hot, man.
I'm going to agree with you, yeah, bud, a lot of hotties in here.
And the whole time, he knew he knew he was older than me, he knew that I was thinking he thought these women were hot.
And uh, and there it was, you know, he had his own, you know, some humor is a maze, I think.
And some comedians, they make it's a maze.
It's a maze that sits between them and the world.
And the way that the humor is created is that some people have such a unique maze.
Some people it's set up punch.
That's a small maze.
Set up punch.
Some people it's the element of surprise.
Some people it's just extremely direct and dry.
But I think Norm just had a his maze was just different.
And I don't think you can create that.
I think it's built into you.
And yeah.
One of a kind, man.
And he had a great quote, too, about cancer.
He said, cancer doesn't...
I think it was him.
People have been saying it was him.
Cancer doesn't beat you because when you die, it dies at the same time.
So technically, it's a draw.
let me get this right uh...
Yeah.
Norm once ripped the term battling cancer.
In the old days, a man could just get sick and die.
Now they have to wage a battle.
Shit.
This is one of those sites who you got to pay the shit just to read the shit.
The local shit, like, fuck.
Brittany got gunned down at a Popeye saying, now I got to pay $8 to read it.
God.
But that's what it is.
It was that cancer.
The cancer dies when you die.
So technically it's a draw.
But man.
I'm curious to see where he pops up in the realm of existence next.
You might see a sheep doing something weird or you might see a.
You might see this.
I don't know.
A moose having quite a time.
And that could be him.
God bless you, Norm McDonald, man.
You know, and he kind of disappeared out of the, you know, he did that show with Adam Eget.
A lot of great Jim Carrey moments from there.
And then he kind of, you didn't see him much, but one of a kind.
Anyway, I'll keep moving here.
What else do we have here?
Here is a question right here that came in.
This is a video question.
Hey, Theo.
So far, the AA meetings and shit like that hasn't related to me so much.
Your podcast has related to me far more.
If you ever had any interest in maybe starting somewhat of an AA group of your own, maybe some of your podcast listeners who could just join with a Zoom meeting or something like that.
Just a random idea thrown out there.
Maybe there are more people like me.
Gang, gang, baby.
Gang, brother, thank you for that suggestion, man.
And, you know, it's so funny that you say that because I was just thinking the other day, I was at a Zoom.
I went to a Zoom AA meeting in New York.
It was a New York one, I think.
Sometimes it's fun.
You can get on there.
Some of them, they don't have all the passwords.
It's hard to get in.
But sometimes you get in.
You know.
The other day, a guy, he's like, I never shared before in a meeting, but I see my boy Theo in here.
I'm going to share.
You know, made me feel nice, obviously.
I mean, it didn't, you know, it made me feel welcome.
We all just want to feel welcome.
I think it's a thing amongst people that suffer from, or just people in general.
We all just want to feel welcome in the world and in a moment.
You know, I think a lot of us maybe had moments when we were young where we didn't feel welcome in that moment.
And I know that's a real particular and kind of fucking weak thing to say, but enough of those stack up and it can really build up in you.
But the answer is, yeah, man, I just was thinking about that the other day.
So what a real gift that you and I are on some sort of same balance beam, man, and you're hitting this idea.
I thought about that.
What would it be like to have a Zoom?
I think when I'm able to keep some good time together, man, I'll really look into that.
You know, I'm working with a four-step right now.
And I appreciate you asking, though, brother.
I appreciate you thinking about me, man.
And I love you, dude.
And good luck on your journey, too.
And if I do, I hope I'll see you there on the road to happy destiny, fam.
What else we got here?
Hey, Theo.
So I'm watching a show like I always do.
Thank you very much for watching, young lady.
Homeward.
Like, every night, I've been watching for like two or three years now.
And I'm noticing that you don't really have no black women on your show.
Like, I don't think you've ever had a black woman on either one of your shows, actually.
And I'm scrolling through, and it's like everybody, but no black women.
So I ain't trying to say nothing when I'm saying nothing.
But you know what?
What's up?
Because you got black girlfriends, too.
Thank you, young lady, for the question.
That's a great question, you know.
You're right.
You're right.
I was just thinking about this as you're saying it.
The closest we've had to a black woman is probably Donnell Rollins, dude.
Honestly, if I'm real honest.
Yeah, I know we asked Miss Pat to come on recently.
She did not want to.
She doesn't live.
She was living in Atlanta, so we weren't able to get her.
It's a good point.
It's a good point.
Yeah, I think I just don't run it.
I'm not in a lot of circles where I see a lot of black women, but I think I'll have to keep my eyes and ears open more and see if we can find some great guests.
I know there are great guests out there.
In LA, yeah, I know there's some good black female comedians.
I just got to get out there and get them.
You know?
So, yeah, I'll do what I can.
You know, I don't want to do it just because I feel like I need, like, I don't like anything like that that feels real forced.
And I know you're not saying that.
But I know a lot of amazing black women.
So I'm sure I can find some.
I can ask some of them more fervently if they want to come and join us.
Because, yeah, we need a little bit of that freaking chocolate perspective, boo.
I feel that.
So we could use it in here.
Then we need to spice this bitch up.
So I feel you.
Thank you very much for the question.
That's a good and fair question.
Here's a good question, actually.
Hey, Theo.
And you look beautiful, by the way, too.
Damn, I shouldn't have said that.
my question would be My question would be.
What's up, Michael?
Thank you for calling, brother.
Thank you for being alive today, man on earth.
Do you relate more closely to black culture, ethnic culture, than Caucasian-American culture?
It seems like Caucasian American mixed breeds like yourself, like myself, kind of are starting to get away from those real crispy, crunchy white folk.
And so just kind of let me know what you think, man.
Great player.
Keep it that way all day.
Have a good one.
Gang, thank you, Michael.
It's a good question, man.
You know, I think at different points in my life, I've had some different moments and experiences.
You know, I always hated rich people growing up.
And I'm sorry if anybody's rich, man.
But y'all were the enemy, man.
You know, I was real.
We were impoverished.
And at that point, sometimes when you're poor, you're an underdog, you got to have somebody to fight it.
You got to have somebody on the other end of that teeter-totter.
There's got to be somebody over there.
So I think that, you know, I think that.
I think I was angry at the rich, man.
And it was a lot of rich white people, you know, where I was at.
They didn't have anybody else really to be rich.
And my neighbors were poor white people and poor black people.
So I certainly associated more at that point in my life with black culture.
I was in a group, I was in like a little gang.
We were shitty, real shitty gang, but it was black children.
You know, I used to, I got tickled by a black man one time when I was bathing somewhere outside at my friend's house.
My friend Devin, who was black.
He still is black.
And yeah, so I think when I really had such an underdog mentality, the only underdog at that time was it felt like in America was black.
In my area, in Louisiana, it was just black and white.
So anything that was like against the rich, you know, I remember being a Jesse Jackson fan growing up, that kind of shit.
Now, things are more merged kind of now.
So I don't know.
So now I'm what cult.
I don't know if I associate with a lot of, I think it's a little, you know, I like a little bit of all of it.
I also think BLM, during the BLM movement, it made me kind of scare.
Like, I felt like everybody was on the same page.
We were all feeling good about stuff and moving together as a group.
Sometimes during BLM, I felt like, oh, black people don't, or not black people, because that's too general, but that BLM, the movement itself, they don't want to be a part of everyone.
They want their own thing.
So that made me feel like unwelcome sometimes in black, in some black areas.
Or even just in my mind, maybe just in my mind, maybe not actually in physical areas.
But I'd always felt like we're all on the same page.
And then some of the BLM stuff was like, oh, this group wants, it felt like a lot of people wanted black supremacy.
I don't like any kind of supremacy.
That's what I don't like.
You know, I never related with redneck cults.
And not saying redneck is white.
I never related with any, I don't like any type of supremacy.
You know, any group that's ever like, we're the group, we're going to be the, fuck that, man.
Because that's not, then you're already off my books, man.
Because we all, we're, you know, I'm that beige bad boy.
Eventually, I believe it ends beige.
And I could be wrong.
Sure.
Yeah, I'm probably wrong, dude.
I'm usually wrong.
Think about something.
And I'm probably wrong about it, dude.
But I also have to notice that, man, you can't just, you know, I have to notice that maybe some black people never feel right in the culture that's here, or that maybe there's something about, you know, I don't know.
Maybe I never thought that maybe some of my black friends, they don't feel that way.
They feel like they just live in this total white world and it's uncomfortable.
I don't know.
So I have thoughts like that too.
Well, and some of it I think is just history and it's time.
It's like, you know, it's just some things it's like, so what I can do is just as a person is be loving to my friends, you know, no matter who they are, which is what I try and do.
That's what I try my best.
You know, no matter what culture or whatever, and try and learn.
It's hard sometimes.
You know, I'm at the damn at the salon, the other day, the body salon.
Massager.
The lady give me a damn moon cake, bruh.
Chinese snack.
And I was like, damn, all right.
I didn't know if I'm supposed to, you know, you know, do I jerk myself off now?
What do I, you know what I'm saying?
I don't even know what to do.
So there's a lot of stuff going on, a lot of wild stuff.
But I think it goes in phases, man.
I know that I have both in me.
That's for sure.
You know, I never, I related so much when I was growing up to black people because I felt so unaccepted.
And but as an adult, I don't know if I feel more like white culture.
I just, I don't know.
It's a good question, man.
I think now I'm a little bit more of a hodgepodge.
One culture I see a really, a lot of similarities for me in is a lot of times is Mexican culture.
You know, you know, I see a lot of like faith-based kind of, and not Mexican culture is really Christian a lot of times.
Sometimes I think of faith in more of a spiritual sense, but I know the Lord is there.
But yeah, tight sense of families.
I don't know.
I think now my culture is more like, it could be any color.
It could be any shade.
I think the culture that I pull from now is, I try to pull from one where people are being loving.
And, you know, I see a father, like a father and son came out to my show a couple weeks ago.
And man, it just in San Diego.
And just, dude, I'd have given anything to have a moment like that with my son.
And then I get to be there for their moment and help be a part of their moment.
And like, damn, that's my culture.
You know, I see a cute little kid walk by and his mom picks him up or something and loves him.
That kid could be black or damn Puerto Rican.
That kid could be giraffe.
And that's really the culture that I feel the most now.
I think.
I think, man, it's a good question.
Thank you for asking, brother.
And I think some of it is, but culture, I mean, you know, it's tough because it's like, you can't say some stuff.
You say, oh, well, I love basketball.
And you'll have some black people like, black people don't just play basketball.
Well, yeah, I know that.
But I love things that black people.
I love some things that black people are.
I just love something that black people are good at, that white people are good at.
I love some things that Brazilian people are good at.
You know, so I don't know.
That's a good question, man.
It's interesting.
But thanks for letting me think with you, man.
And thanks for making me think.
Here's another call that came in, man.
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Man, so many good questions and things came in.
And I'm going to get to more of them next week.
I'm going to answer one more here.
And then we're going to give a call to my boy Chad Busby, and I remember him.
Beautiful fella.
Semi-beautiful.
I actually don't remember what he looked like.
Decent guy, kind of quiet guy, whispery.
Real, real whispery boy.
You didn't know what, you know, every time you talk to him, they keep playing hide and go seek.
You know, he's like, damn, were you born in a library, dude?
You got to louden up.
But here's a call that came in.
What up, Theo?
I'm just here listening to your episode with Arish Fear.
I heard you talking about how you needed a break mentally.
And you're kind of afraid to let down your viewers or afraid that your audience won't be here when you come back.
And I just want to let you know that just hearing you say stuff like that helps me out because today I had to call out of work for being down, just being depressed.
So never be afraid to take some time and work on yourself, buddy.
We'll love you and we'll be here when you get back.
Thanks, bro.
I appreciate you saying that, man.
That's sweet of you to say, bro.
Nice message.
And, yeah, I'm happy for you, man, for taking a moment for yourself, taking some time.
Yeah, I don't know why that hit me, Connie, you know.
I think I think ever since I was, you know, or something, you know, I've always based it on like, if I don't do everything who, whatever, there's always been something in me that if I don't do, or if I don't behave a certain way or do a certain thing, then I'm not enough, you know.
That if I don't work hard enough or I don't try or I don't say the right, like if I don't do, you know, that here's what it is, that my value is contingent upon my output.
And that my value is not contingent upon solely the fact that I exist and that I am me.
So that I think is part of the reason why I have that thing where I just feel like I have to just keep going, you know?
And I'm recognizing that that's not a, that's a false, that's a false God, man.
Whatever, that's a false God.
Because no real, yeah, it's just not real.
You know, and I think a lot of that comes when you don't feel like, and this is a little sappy, man, but this is what I feel, and I'm okay.
If you don't like this kind of shit, then that's fine, bro.
Go watch football, fam.
I'll be watching later, too.
But right now, I'm upstairs, dog, and this is what I'm doing.
And I'm not ashamed of myself.
But yeah, it's like that the value of who I am to you is based on what I do and not who I am.
are not solely that I am.
You know, and that's like, you know, I dated a gal for a while and I know, and this is the only time I ever felt different in my life about that.
Actually, two times.
I dated a girl recently, a few years ago, and I know she loved me unconditionally.
You know, and I took advantage of that some, but I know that she did.
She loved me just because of who I was, just because that I was a person, you know.
And my brother.
You know, I know my brother loves me.
Just unconditionally, you know.
And I'm not crying right now.
I'm fucking sweating out of my eyes because I'm doing work, fam.
That's why.
You can lift all the weights you want on the outside, but my weight is inside.
So I'm proud of you, man.
I'm proud of you for calling.
I appreciate you recognizing that and saying that to me and letting me know it's okay.
I appreciate that.
Because some of it is just those old stories that are in your head.
Like, oh, man, if I don't try harder, if I don't do enough, then I'm not enough.
And I'm not saying I've cured that in myself, but I'm saying that moments like this, At least help me recognize it and remind me of it.
Because I'll recognize something, and then I get so high on recognizing it that I don't even do the work to try and remember to take care of it or to see that it's a ghost that can be real thick.
I got to get my ghost real thin, man.
But you know what?
I've decided for myself.
I'm going to take January off.
I'm going to take January off.
And I may take a week or two off before then.
Now, will I fully live up to that?
might tape some episodes in advance, uh, but, um, But in turn, what I don't want you to think, if you listen to this podcast every week, which I don't know why you would, but you continue to do so.
What I don't want you to think if I take a few weeks off that I don't care about you.
That's what I don't want you to think.
Because that's the inverse of the whole conversation we're having right now.
I don't want you to think if I take a few weeks off that I don't care about you.
Because that's not the truth, man.
Gang, baby.
All right.
Let's get out of this.
Let's step out of our emotions.
And thank you, bro.
And I'm proud of you, man.
Take some time, you know.
Take the time you need for yourself, man.
I'll love you when you get back, man.
Gang shit, bro.
Praise God.
All right, let's get him on the home, man.
And look, a lot of other beautiful calls came in.
One of the things, oh, yeah, I'm stopping a little bit early.
I feel tons of stress in my body right now.
So I'm going to take a break.
Also signed up for one of those things where you mail your shit in or whatever to Africa or whatever, and they check it out or whatever.
So I'm doing that.
Yeah.
So yeah, there's like a company.
I don't know what it's called.
But I'm weaning off my medications right now.
I'm doing different things to try and see what's going on with me.
And I could just be burnt out.
And man, I realize I work so much.
When I get home, I open my laptop.
I get on a plane on vacation, I open my laptop.
I work.
You know, I also have employees, and I want them to be able to keep working.
I know if I miss a week, they miss a week.
But I'm human, man.
I'm just being human.
You know that.
I got to remember it, too.
All right, guys.
Right now we're going to give a call to my boy old Chad over there.
And he was really close with Billy Conforto.
You know, I remember Billy, really.
Thank you.
One of the only homosexual men that ever stood up for me.
Praise God, bro.
We miss you, man.
He's upstairs, dog.
*phone rings*
Hello.
What's up, big dog?
All right.
Yeah, what's up, man?
Can you hear me better now?
Yeah, I can hear you a lot better now.
Amen, bro.
Dude, so what's going on?
Where y'all living at in a tent?
We're staying right where we got flooded at.
Oh, really?
Yeah, we threw some furniture out and stuff.
We stayed on some old sofas and all that, waiting for FEMA to try to help out.
Damn, man.
Y'all indoors or outdoors?
We indoors the same.
We just got electricity yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
What's the first thing y'all did when you got it?
Shoot, we've been going across the street to get a church because our water was off, too, so we just had to go bathe on the side where the water came out on the church.
Oh, that's a baptism right there.
Yeah, that's what I was saying.
I went over there and I was like, I said a little prayer before I gave you the water.
Bro, you triple.
You chew me down.
You triple baptized now, man.
You certified.
You might be a pastor, bro.
One more bath.
You might be a pastor.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
I think the Holy Ghost.
Oh, man.
Dude, thank you so much for jumping on with me today, man.
You know, everybody on the podcast, man, loves Billy, man.
Everybody loves Billy.
Come forward to it, misses him and misses him being alive, man.
I just want you to, can you share with me just a good Billy story or something?
Yeah, which is true.
I listened to the one when y'all was, you were talking about Billy's brother, Chucky, or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, when y'all was talking about you and Billy used to go out and use my name, my ID.
Oh, yeah.
Did we use your ID?
Well, the part, my ID, I lost mine, and Billy was always, he used anybody's ID.
Yeah, he used anybody's name.
I think I got a couple tickets stealing.
I'm sure it was.
Dude, we had fun, man.
I remember, well, the funny thing about Billy, bro, was he would, like, say if you were at somebody's house, bro, you were at just anybody's house.
You were at somebody's house.
When that other person went out of the room, he would always be like, bro, I think fucking Danny likes me, bro.
And I'd be like, I'm like, dude, Danny's nine years old.
Yeah, he used to do that to me all the time.
He loved doing that shit.
He loved people.
He always trying to create a little mystery.
Would you walk out to go use the bathroom?
If you're in there, he's like, you seen the way he's looking at it?
Yeah.
Like, really?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, bro.
Just ridiculous, man.
Billy was funny, bro.
And he was tough, too, dude.
Tell me, he used to be able to fight, right?
Yeah, you know, him and all the menses, they all boxed and all shoot.
I even did it for a little while, but they uh, but you know, they all passed away, huh?
Well, yeah, I know some of them did, man.
Seppy, Jimmy, and Ronnie.
That's was his cousins, the fighters.
And how they died?
I think it was into drugs or whatever.
Oh, pills, drugs, huh?
Yeah.
And Billy hit an embankment, huh?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
And then even Deshaun.
You remember Deshaun was the one I was on at the time.
Deshaun was fine, dog.
I was only friends with you because of Design.
Yeah.
She passed away, too.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry, bro.
Damn.
Yeah.
I think you had asked her to one of your dances or whatever.
She was going to go instead of Billy and her was going to go with you.
I'm sure I did.
I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Billy tried to come to our prime.
I remember that.
He'd be like, because Billy loved dressing up and shit.
He's like, bruh.
That might have been it, bro.
He was going, he was going to find him or somebody.
I'll take this one tonight.
Dude, Billy was the most fun, man.
What's something that you miss about him?
Shoot, probably everything.
Probably pretty much his compassion, bro.
He may have a heart for everybody he met, bro.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It don't matter who you was.
If you needed something, he'll help you out.
He'll give you his last.
Yeah, he would, man.
He would give you one of his legs, bro.
If he had a wooden leg, he'd give you that bitch so you could row a boat.
Yeah, and then chase you with the one leg he got.
He was, bro.
Or try to take the dog's seboy out walking on one leg.
Bro, he would take a wooden arm off and train a fucking pit bull to bite on that bitch, man.
Remember when he would get the dogs to jump up onto the roof?
Yeah, but like sometimes he'd hang like a rope from a limb and he had a dog jump up there and grab it and it won't come down until it jooked that rim off the branch off that tree.
Oh, dude.
He took a fucking rain gutter off a whole fucking off a ranch style home one time with those dogs.
I saw him do it, bro.
Bro, he was like the fucking gay.
He was kind of like the gay Michael Vick, I think.
He was special, bro.
How did you meet him, man?
So were you guys cousins or what was that?
Because I don't remember exactly how you guys met each other.
It was strange.
I was with Deshaun was their cousin.
And me and Deshaun started dating in like fourth grade.
Damn, bro.
And she, I guess we were together about eight years as we, you know, during through high school and stuff, we wasn't together, but we got back together when I was like 19 and stayed together until she passed.
Damn, man.
I didn't know you guys were together when she passed, man.
I'm sorry, bro.
Was it kind of hard at the end where a lot of people were dealing with addiction over there?
Yeah, I guess it's when everybody was addicted to like pain medicine.
I don't know when all them people were going to doctors out here and all that.
Oh, yeah, man.
Well, dude, I remember Billy.
So Billy set me up with this girl one time.
Did you work over there with us by the restaurant?
Which one y'all was at?
The Broken Aid or something?
No, we worked at this place called Chef's, bro.
I don't even think they had a kitchen in that bitch, dude.
I don't know what we were selling, bro.
Damn, y'all serving TV dinners.
Oh, I think we just, bro, people.
Get this, son.
I don't know what we were serving, dude.
The more I think about it, I think we had a freezer and a bunch of bus boys.
I don't think anybody in that bitch had a food.
He was in the freezer eating up the dessert.
Like, hold on.
Billy, bring this TV dinner out.
Billy was so professional, too, bro.
Billy loved dressing up for work.
He'd be like, oh, your order will be right out, sir.
He was always so professional.
I know, man.
I was so, I was too, like, I tried to do it, but I was so embarrassed.
Like, I was shy, like, embarrassed to talk to people and stuff.
I started stuttering.
Like, God damn.
Billy's like, you.
I'm going to hit.
Yeah, Billy was a G at it, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, I miss him, man.
He loved those dogs, too, bro.
And dude, here's what I didn't like, though.
He had some crazy weed.
So we get all gassed up, dude.
We fucking high as fuck.
And then those dogs would start looking at me.
And I would say he knew I was scared of dogs.
And he would be like, he'd always say shit like, don't worry, I'll protect you.
And I'm like, bitch, that's your dog and your weed.
This whole thing is a setup, dog.
Shit.
Man.
He said they were staring at you.
Oh, them dogs are everybody.
Dude, it was funny, man.
Them dogs.
He has some beautiful dogs, though, man.
So where are you at now?
You living by the church?
What you going to do, man?
Y'all still struggling down there, huh?
A lot of people just starting to get their electricity, but I'm just waiting on, I guess, FEMA or something to do something.
I can't really do nothing.
Dang, man.
Well, look, man, I just want to say, man, out of my heart, you know, Billy did so many nice things for me, man.
You know, he just, he stood up for me.
You know, there was times he was like a little bit of an older brother.
He gave me steroids, bro, that I don't even think we're any good, but I fucking still lift it on them bitches, dude.
Yep.
Your phone's real choppy.
What is it?
I don't know.
Is it still choppy now?
No, now it's not.
See, I remember when y'all was doing them steroids and stuff.
Oh, yeah, boy.
We was doused.
We was fucking jacked.
And Billy would always wear these blue shorts.
He'd be like, bro, I can't go to the gym, man.
I can't find my blue shorts.
Dog, get some other shorts, man.
Some short shorts for the guys to look at.
I think it was like some board shorts.
I don't know what it was, dude.
But he'd always be like, bro, I think that guy over there is looking at me.
And it would be like a blind dude.
Some blind dude in a fucking standing there with a walking stick.
I'm like, that dude's fucking blind, bro.
No, he's not.
No, he's not.
Yeah, no, he's not.
He's got one out of the fucking cashier or the fucking coach thing.
Man, Billy was.
Oh, dude, so Billy one time set me up with a girl.
So he gave me a Soma pill.
He's like, this will help you relax, right?
Dude, I've never taken a fucking Soma pill in my life, right?
So first off, about nine minutes after he gives it to me, I take a right turn, and I took it about 30 yards after the turn, right?
So I drove right into a fucking ditch, right?
Shit, another, the somas are like, what, muscle relaxer, thing?
Because he, I was with Billy one time, and he gave me like, he told me to take like two of them or whatever.
He's like, here, take this.
I was riding with him back from the doctor.
We was going to the doctor and we, I said, well, I'm hungry, bro.
So we stopped at a Taco Bell.
And I guess the somas make you like shake or whatever.
I got a Taco Supreme.
I went to sit down.
I guess when they kicked in, I shook all the Supreme off.
They had nothing but meat left.
Damn.
Damn.
You ever been so filled up?
You shook the Supreme off of Taco, bro.
I'm like, what's wrong?
Why am I shaking?
He's like, come on, they're looking at you.
It's time to go.
I'm like, what did you give me?
Damn, dude.
You leave out of there with your...
It's just toppings.
Look at cheese, lettuce, and orange is spat all over my walk.
I got a shell and the meat left.
Shook my whole Supreme off.
Damn, boy.
Dude, them Somas will take you Supreme, baby.
Them bitches make your fucking lips wet and they'll take you Supreme.
So then, look, what happened was, bro.
So he still said, bro, you can't stand this girl up, dude.
You can't be, you got to be a gentleman, bro.
I'm like, stand this girl up?
I said, I can't stand up.
He's like, fuck it, bro.
I got you, dog.
So we go to this nightclub over there in Fat City, right?
Right over there in Metairie when you get off the causeway.
We go over there.
Dude, I don't know.
I don't know.
Escapades or Kenny's QS, huh?
Some shithole, dude.
It was dicey, bro.
There was a lot of people in there.
Some dude drinking cologne in the corner.
Dicey.
It had a boxing ring in the middle of the club, like dicey, okay?
But so anyway, Billy walks.
I can't even stand up, dude.
I can't even stand up.
It's like weekend at fucking Bernie's, dude.
He walks me in there.
He's like, bro, nobody will notice if we play that song Electric Slide, right?
He puts that bitch on the jukebox.
I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
So fast forward anyway, he's like, dude, the girl shows up.
I can't even see her.
That's how fucking high.
I can't even see her.
She ends up being nice.
She gives me a ride home across the causeway back to Amandeville.
Bro, at some point, I was so sick.
It's just me and her.
She's driving my car back.
I puked all over her.
So, bro, I get home in the morning.
I come out to my car.
The whole inside is filled with puke except for the space where she had been sitting driving.
And I don't know where she is, bro.
You never seen her since, huh?
I've never seen her since, dude.
But damn, Billy always had an adventure, man.
That's a lot, man.
Well, look, man, on behalf of the podcast, man, we're going to send you $500 just to fucking put a little jingle in the pocket over there, buy some fucking dinner for your boy, buy some Popeyes for your neighbor or whatever.
And I just want to say, man, I love you, bro.
And I love Billy, man.
And thanks for jumping on the call today with me.
Yeah, all right.
I love you too.
Well, I still keep in touch with you, man.
Yeah, 100%, man.
I'll hit you up this week or something.
If you need something, hit me up, man.
And then whenever I come home, dude, we got to go catch up.
We raised some money for Billy.
I was telling him, we sold a bunch of t-shirts.
We want to put a bench at a dog park or something.
All right, yeah.
When you come in town or whatever, just hit me up and I'll call.
Me and you go take a ride or do whatever you want to do.
Gang, bro.
All right, Chad.
Be good, dude.
We'll hit you guys up on.
I'll have the producer hit you guys up, man.
And we'll talk to you later on, dude.
Thanks again.
All right.
Thank you.
All right, peace, bro.
Man.
We got to find some pictures of Billy.
That's what we got to find.
We got to find some pictures.
We're going to get the dog bench built.
We got to do a little bit of work left.
But right now, I'm going to take it easy, man.
On the way out, we got a beautiful song right here.
And this is by Evan Bartells off of his new album, Lonesome.
And we'll put the link in there.
Man, he's played some beautiful hits for us.
He's playing tonight somewhere.
I want to go see it.
But we're leaving out tomorrow for Charlotte.
But this song, I saw him play it early.
He played it for me when I came.
I think my first night that I had spent when I was out here in the Central East, he played.
And I went and saw him.
Talent everywhere.
This is False Gods by Evan Bartels.
You guys, be good to yourselves, man.
And thank you for being a part of my life.
And be good to yourself.
You deserve it, okay?
God bless America, I hope that's true.
What I'm reading online, what I see on the news looks like a war.
Dogs out for blood, who's right and who's wrong?
They can't get enough.
I will not bow my head, I will not bend my knees to a false god's rage or fear of tyrant kings.
I love you cause you're human.
Amen.
We can hold it free.
I love you cause you're human.
Man, it's funny, and I hate to interrupt you, Evan.
I mean, you think I've talked for an hour and a half.
You think I would let you have your moment.
But I think you just encapsulated what I was thinking earlier, man.
When it comes to race or color, or I mean, I think I'll always probably hate rich people, bro, to be honest, dog.
100%, bro, 200%.
But yeah, I think now the thing that I want to say to people is to love them because they're human, bro.
Let that be the deciding factor.
Let's cruise back in.
I'm sorry.
But you just hit it on the head, man.
That's what you do.
If you want to feel something, you listen to some Evan Bartell's, man.
And the ironic thing is, he also does get the contract in the construction.
But you want to feel him hit him on the head.
You want to feel him hit it on the head.
The hammer is his music, man.
I love you cause you're human And we can all live free I love you cause you're human
What if it's true, then none of this matters Our hopes and our dreams, our tears and our laughter If there's not a plan, and it's all an illusion Then why are we here?
What does it mean to be human?
I will not bow my head, I will not bend my knee To a false god's rage, a fear of tyrant kings I love you'cause you're human And we can hold it free I love you'cause you're
human There is no there is just you and me We're born, we live, we die And have to believe The weak and
we can make a delicious
You
We're just human That is Evan Bartel's off his new album Lonesome we'll put a link and we'll support it more moving forward Yeah,
I see It's a real place to live man loving people because they're human man.
That's really It feels like a lot of the only answer I think I want to thank Sean Dugan our producer I want to thank Spencer Liato our editor I want to thank Colin Reiner our associate producer Riley Mao couldn't be here He's probably at some camp for people that want to jerk off to be honest with you But we'll see if we can get him back in soon You
gotta be good man guy Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner The answer may shock you Sometimes I'll interview my friends Sometimes I won't and as always I'll be joined by the voices in my head You have three new voices we
are Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Jamain.
I'll take a quarter potter with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
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