Theo talks about the taping of his new special, explains why its hard to root for Tyron Woodley, and remembers how different the world was before cell phones. Plus, Theo reaches out to a single mom to brighten her day.
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Good evening and good morning and good time, whatever time it is for you and hello.
I want to start by just saying that my thoughts and well wishes are with everybody who's suffering right now from the storms, from the water, from the wreckage, from the, you know, you know, somebody probably, you know, people even boating by your house, strange men boating by.
You know, some strange man boating through your yard trying to holler at you or your son or your daughter or anybody, gay man or straight man or lesbian or anybody.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm just, I'll just, you know, or people with their power out, I'm just saying when your yard is suddenly a water, a waterway, the perverts can get right up by the window.
And a little pea rog or a little paddleboard, you'll see a damn pedo on a paddleboard out there just.
So it's, you know, just different times.
It's, you know, you're dealing with a different textile.
You're dealing with water.
And, and it's wild, man.
Mother Nature is wild, isn't she?
You know, that's one thing we start to forget is we get so much, you know, we have so many apps and this and that and different control things.
And we think we can control it all.
And you forget that you're sitting, you're playing poker with a woman that has a she has access to a deck that's that's really that we can you know, we can't buy it in stores.
Not available in stores, as they say on the television and whatever.
And Mother Nature drops that thing, you know?
Earth, wind, water, fire, whatever.
Shooting star.
You know?
She's got these, you know, she has falling boulder.
Quicksand.
You know, Mother Nature has all those.
You know, she can do so many things.
She can do something as subtle as, you know, keep a kid's kite up in the air.
Or as brutal as just drown a village.
You know, there was one aquarium I saw somewhere.
The animals in there all drowned.
Water came in there and they're like, these animals drowned.
And I'm like, what?
But that's Mother Nature.
I mean, she's got a batch of bad water.
She has different batches of things that we don't have control over.
So it's interesting when nature starts to play those cards, how real things really can get.
And yeah, my thoughts are with anybody that's struggling or suffering or that's lost something.
And I'm looking to keep my eyes open to be supportive in spaces where people have been affected.
And I'm sure a lot of you guys are as well.
So good to be back with you.
Good to be back here together.
We haven't had a solo episode in a while.
Thanks for your patience.
One of my goals this fall is to get back on a weekly, regular Monday release date or Tuesday release date of solo episodes so that we can just kind of have a little bit of structure to our community.
And I'm looking forward to that.
But that water comes, the water.
It's such an interesting thoroughfare of water.
You know, if you hold your breath, you can get down in it, but that's...
You know, that's real brachial.
That's only as much as long as you can hold in your lungs.
That's hella brachial.
Yeah, that water, it's that dip, but, you know, it's that washing off.
It's the cleansing, you know.
If you're eating something, you get a sip of water to kind of give your mouth that little bit of restart.
You know, it's just interesting water, what it can do.
The different things we use it for.
You know, we even make electricity out of it.
Who would ever thought of that?
That's wizardry.
I mean, that is wizardry.
You're looking at water and thinking, damn, one day I'm going to watch some television off of this shit.
I mean, that's unbelievable.
To stare at a damn aquarium and be like, you know what?
One day I'm going to dry my hair.
And it's all because of this bitch, you know?
Just different times, man.
With that water in mind, man, and with people that are struggling from the storm, let's hit this right here.
Robert Randolph and the family band Baptize Me Baptize Me Come on, Bobby.
We got to get him in here one day, man.
We're going to get into it.
Dirty water.
Red clay mud.
I need redemption.
Saved from the blood.
Give me everlasting.
Give me more love.
I'm there for the waiting.
I'm washing the blood.
I'm begging you, please.
Baptize me.
Begging you, please, baby.
Baptize me.
I'm begging you, please.
Baptize me.
Baptize me.
Never seen it coming.
Let's let it go.
Lookin'at me that way.
Now all my blues.
Come on.
Seen bright the days.
Robbie Randy.
I'm a son of a preacher, man.
A small town cliche.
I never learned to dribble some.
What else can I see?
Hey!
Down on my knees.
Oh, baptize me.
Come on.
Yeah.
Down on my knees.
Baptize me.
Baptize me.
I'm down on my knees, baptize me.
You know, and there's certainly like, you know, I think there's moments in my life, even recently, man, where that's exactly where I am.
You know, I am down on my knees, man, waiting for wanting something bigger.
Wanting something that means more.
Wanting something that wanting something that won't wash away.
You know, I mean, if I'm real honest, that really has been where I've been recently, man.
You know, I get tired of going in some of the same circ you know, tired of some of the same circles I go in.
Same patterns and things not adjusting.
And I want something.
I want to feel a part of something bigger than just myself.
For me, I'm finding in a world that it's where a lot of things seem to be so self-self that it's just I'm not sick of myself,
but I'm realizing that the truth of not the truth, but the whatever, the biggest gifts of life aren't inside of me.
They're I don't know.
I mean, I think that's exactly where I'm at.
I think just realizing that that, yeah, just the more if that I don't know, sometimes I'm just sick of myself.
It's like everything is so self.
It's just like, man.
I think the secrets in the gifts of the world and there's just got to be something bigger than just these joys or these kind of futile comforts of the world, you know, of you know, the material world.
Because they just get me from one to the next, you know.
So anyway, not trying to be a dour man, but that's just a little bit of where I've been recently.
You know, just just thinking of how to unlock like the some of the cheat codes of the world so I feel I just think there's greater gifts in of greater feelings and
greater joys than just the ones of that are kind of material or of human.
You know, I just, I don't know.
I want to tap into something bigger, I'm feeling like, you know, I think that's just a little bit where I'm feeling.
And I'm not on drugs or nothing.
I'm just letting you know that.
What's going on, man?
A couple things I want to talk about, the Netflix taping out here in the Central East in Nashville.
I want to thank everybody who came to that.
You know, they spurned us at the last minute with everyone had to have vaccination or PCR testing.
So, yeah, I just wanted to thank everybody that got the test or got vaccinated or even made fake vax cards.
I just want to thank everybody who did anything extra for me.
You know, it's just nice of you to, you know, just to care enough to do those extra things.
People were sending me Instagram DMs saying, hey, Bucko, I'm out here at the, you know, some guy's got a thing up his nose and another guy, some guy fucking, he said some lady put a q-tip in his nose and went back and then came back and said he was fine.
I said, that shit sounded kind of bootleg, you know?
But whatever.
He said she was selling, you know, dream catchers and brownies as well.
I'm like, dude, I don't know if that's sanctioned, but whatever.
You know, that was just a big surprise at the last second.
And I just want to thank everybody who came out and bear with all of what was going on with all of that.
And if you chose not to bear with it, I want to thank you too, just for, you know, being willing to even try to come out in the first Place.
You know, that was out of my control and it wasn't my choice.
But we'd already gone so far.
We were so close to the performance date that I'm like, well, what do I do?
The material, we got, you know, I want to get the material out there.
And a lot of people were excited to be able to come and be there for the taping.
So it was, yeah, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you to everybody that came out.
And if some people felt like, well, I don't want to get, you know, I don't feel like dealing with all this hoop law or I'm not vaccinated and you didn't want to come, that's okay too.
I want to say thank you as well for your support.
You know that.
And what else?
Oh, I'll tell you this.
So we had three shows for the taping to get it manageable and do it right.
And the first one, you know, there was a plan to build a set on stage, like a background, like a, you know, like a set.
If you've ever been to a church play or something, sometimes they got a manger up there.
And they got little, you know, they got a little camel in the manger.
And they got the three wise men.
And they got a little baby J over there.
And he might be vaping on some damn frankincense or something, you know.
He's getting, you know, skunked out on that F sense, baby.
You know how baby J do.
And so anyway, we had got this set built.
Well, the set shows up.
Dude, this looked like there's these windows at the back of the Ryman Auditorium, and it's a beautiful venue.
If you've never seen it, I mean, dude, you even walk through there, somebody spits on you.
It almost counts as a baptism.
If you're talking to somebody who's kind of juiced up in the jowls, and just one little dauble of saliva just hits you and lands on you.
I mean, the place is, it used to be a church and now it is a famous performance venue.
And it seats, I think, 2,000.
So we had 6,000 people come out over two days.
And so thank you so much.
And anyway, so they have these beautiful windows at the back, stained glass windows, and beautiful.
And stained glass.
And so we were getting fake ones made or replicas put onto stage to make it kind of resemble the whole vibe.
And this shit looked like a children's.
It looked like a candy village.
It looked like a trap house for like a pedophile.
It looked like a gingerbread house.
Like a gingerbread trap house.
That's what the windows look like, man.
They were so bad.
So right when I got there, I was like, this is what we put together?
So, man, in that first show, Friday night, people were drunk.
There was these awful chicks up front who were just the worst.
If you're the worst, don't come.
Don't come.
So that was pretty hellish, man.
And yeah, it was just, there was nobody was like keeping tabs on the crowd.
People were yelling.
One kid came out the closet at the top of his lungs.
You know, he's just laughing.
He's like, I'm gay.
Like, what the fuck?
What the fuck, Henry?
You know, his buddies are like, chill out, Henry.
Have a beer, you know.
Your wife will pick you up in an hour, man.
Tighten up.
So it just, you know, there was just AWOL in there.
And the stage, so the next day, the next afternoon, which was Saturday afternoon, the man came to get the stage things.
I helped him throw the pieces out.
I threw them out in the parking lot.
It was, this was the worship.
It was like somebody, it was like whoever designed like this stuff at your middle school.
You know, I can't, you know, it was bad.
It was really bad.
And the guy, I even spoke with the guy who came to pick him up.
He goes, man, I knew when they called me to come back today, I was coming to pick these bitches up.
He goes, I knew when I dropped them off, I was about to have to come right back and get these bitches.
And he was hella right, man.
Beautiful little thicky, thick man, kind of.
And he had a lot of ingrown hair on his face too, the man even.
But he was a beautiful man.
And that's real damn wizardry when you got ingrown hair.
What is that?
What is that when you think about it?
When your beard is basically going to come out of your face and then it's like, nah, fam, fuck you.
And goes right back into your face.
And forgive me for saying F you, but it needed to be said.
So anyway, most of the shots will be from the Saturday night tape and the Saturday night moments of the shows.
And those went phenomenal.
We're looking at the edits now.
And yeah, so that's kind of it.
Man, it was a big fiasco.
And it was a Deba Clay or whatever.
It was a fiasco.
It was a Deba Clay, baby.
But we got it done.
And that was, yeah, that was it, man.
It was fun, man.
There's some, it was fun.
So I'm really, really excited about putting it out.
Looking at different titles right now and going over like the fonts.
And I'm just grateful to be able to have an opportunity to do it.
You know, it was just...
It's fun.
People were excited.
And the Saturday night, it was just, man, two amazing shows.
And the crowd just was bearing with me.
The second show, I was having one of the act outs of a bit.
I was having trouble telling a story.
And, man, they were right there with me.
And yeah, so I just wanted to say thank you so much to everybody that came out.
It was really magical.
And, yeah, I feel lucky.
You know, I feel lucky to have been there.
And, you know, that laughter gets like that.
It's like a wave of laughter.
You know, it has a washing over you type of effect.
You know, it has a real, it has a baptizing effect kind of.
Because when I laugh, I notice if I laugh, you know, when I laugh, I feel there's something afterwards.
I feel a little bit more peace really than I had in me, than I had inside of my body or my soul.
So what else?
We got some new merchandise that's out.
It's the out of gas merch.
You know, I've run out of gas over probably, I think, 20, I would bet probably 23 times in my life.
And I didn't know that people didn't run out of gas.
A couple years ago, a woman called in and really chastised me about it.
And before that, I'd just been running out of gas.
And, you know, I'm that vowelly bad boy.
When it comes to that tank, when it comes to that monitor on the dash, I'm that vowelly bad boy.
Some people like to consonant up top with that F, baby.
Well, you'll find me on that E, son.
You'll find me on that E. What else?
Had a date last week, a little date, watched a movie with a gal.
She was a little younger than me.
She'd never seen Scream the movie.
You know, she knew about it.
This is not a child.
It's an adult.
It's a legal adult.
I don't date children.
And I never have either.
And you could write that down somewhere and you could write that in ink.
Because that's damn facts, baby.
And what's that talking about?
Oh, she'd never seen Scream.
And so we're watching.
I hadn't seen the movie in probably about 12 years or something.
So we're watching it.
And it's just like, it wasn't scary to her at all.
It's not scary.
It's still, I mean, it was never like super scary.
I mean, it was kind of scary.
Look, some of it, some of it was kind of scary.
Especially in the beginning, you know, when the lady's doing that popcorn and he's on the phone and he's like, don't hang up.
Because the thing that I noticed she couldn't relate to was she couldn't relate to just not having a cell phone and not having like, to her, it seemed ridiculous.
Like, well, why didn't the person just use their cell phone?
Like, and that's, it was just so much easier to scare people 20 years ago because you had the, just the one phone in the house.
And if you didn't have access to that, that was a rap, Daddy.
That was a, that was the rapture.
It was, I mean, you know, it was just so like, like if there was somebody coming into your house, you didn't have a phone in your bed, you know, like it just, it was such a, it was such a, just a different time when fear, there was so much more propensity for some real ass fear.
Now you got to catch somebody who hasn't charged their phone and really gas them up like that and dagger them down or something or, you know, shoot them with fire or whatever.
But back then, baby, you could really, you could do some damage because shit, people didn't have that, they didn't have that access to be able to like get out of the situation or to evade whatever the reality was.
You had to be right there in the moment.
And this shit was scary.
And also, like, there had been, here's one thing I did notice watching Scream.
The costume, the Scream guy, the scary person, the murder, he looked like an idiot.
He looked like just a Halloween costume.
Because remember at the time, like, that was the first time, whenever I first saw it, that was the first time I'd ever seen it.
So I didn't know that this could be a Halloween, you know, like I'd never seen it as a Halloween costume.
But this gal, she'd seen it as a Halloween costume so many times, it just seemed completely ridiculous to her.
And I just thought that was kind of interesting, man.
How scary things become less scary because things from the past become less scary because they've been so like commercialized or burnt out or just overused that they've become almost like a like a meme in a way, you know, or like a popular thing type of thing.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
Who cares?
What else, man?
A lot of neat stuff, dude.
A lot of great calls came in.
I'm going to tell you about a couple of things, and then we'll get into some of those good calls that we have.
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Oh, man.
You ever just have one of those days where you're like, this is the worst day at work?
Have you ever been like in the middle of that?
That's honestly what I'm having right now.
That's what I'm having right now.
I'm having one of those days.
I'm like, this is the, and look, you know, I have the, this is a great job.
I love my job.
You know, I'm someone who likes, I like the job.
I like the workplace.
But yeah, it's like, this is, I'm just having one of those days at work where it just feels like the worst day.
Everything that's supposed to be kind of put a certain way isn't done that way.
You know, it's just like you're, it just, you literally want to hide under your desk.
Sometimes you're just having that day at work.
That's the day I feel like I'm having today.
You know, not trying to be whiny.
I'm not trying.
I don't need any self-pity.
I don't need anybody to say, oh, Theo, I'm so sorry for you.
I don't need any of that.
But I am just also want to be able to say, I don't, you ever having a day at work?
That's what I'm having.
Thankfully, we have a system here where you guys call and help make this show something.
Something.
Which this is the gift.
This is the gift.
And this is almost really just exactly what I was saying earlier.
Like this is the gift when it's not just me.
Because just me, man, you know, we fail, we falter, we're built to falter.
But thankfully, I have good people who listen to this show and who are part of this whole little vibe we got here and who call in and contribute.
And this is a lifesaver.
And this is the lifesaver of being human, I think.
Is that the key to our own happiness or the key to any of it is really the key is in somebody else.
I'm the lock.
That's what I realize over time.
I realize I'm the lock.
And somebody else is the key.
And it can almost usually be anybody else.
Anybody that's not myself.
You know?
Because for so long, I think I'm the key.
That's the trick.
I'm the lock.
We got a beautiful call that came right here from Zeb out of Charleston, South Carolina.
I'll be performing in Charleston.
I'm going to let you know those dates.
I'm also going to be in Peoria, Illinois, I believe, coming up.
You know, I want to do a couple of shows there in a club just to get it going.
So it might already be sold out.
I don't even know.
I think I'm going to go anyway.
If not, then I'm sorry if you heard that, but I'm planning on it.
We got Zeb from Charleston, South Carolina.
And here he is right here.
Thank you for hitting the hotline, 985-664-9503.
Theo, what up, man?
My name's Zeb from Charleston, South Carolina.
Just give me a call trying to get a little bit of advice, man.
What's up, Zeb?
And he's out there from Charleston, baby.
And I used to spend some time over there in Charleston.
First place I ever had a gin and tonic was in Charleston.
And I will say this, they taste real good over there.
Onward, brother.
I'm in a bit of a transition period right now.
So I'm 27 years old and nothing's really going on emotionally or anything.
Everything is kind of nice right now, but my hair, man, my hair is starting to go gray.
It might be kind of hard to tell from the video, but it's creeping in, creeping in.
I got my first gray hair when I was like 21, so I kind of knew this day was going to come.
But within the last year, man, it's really just started to take over.
It's wilding.
So need some advice, dude.
Do you think I should start dying it, try to get some of these shampoos going that fix this stuff?
Or should I just let it roll on that durale and get some like you know, some like Willie Nelson braids going on?
And I don't know.
I'm really trying to figure it out.
I'm cool with it for right now, but I like to plan ahead and kind of know where I'm gonna go with this stuff.
So, gang, baby, I think if a little touch isn't bad, a little touch of gray, a little flash in the pan, you know, ooh, what is that?
Oh, look at him, you know, he's dying.
Part of his head is dying, you know, it's a little hype, you know, it's like a little, it's a PR stunt a little bit for your hair.
Your hair's like, hey, hey, I might take my own life.
It's some of your hair saying that almost.
I think it's good to get a little.
There's a lot of, this is the mistake that I'd made when I started getting a couple G-R-A-Ys.
And I don't want them to hear me say it because they, but you know what I'm saying.
When I started getting a couple G-R-A-Ys, if they hear it, though, I feel like they'll make more.
I started pulling them out.
Start pulling them out.
Because you think, oh, I don't want anybody to see them.
Here's what happens.
This is why that's a bad idea.
Because down the road, you will start losing your hair.
And at that point, you're going to wish you had the grays.
You're going to wish you had all hairs.
All hairs on deck.
So I think if you want to color them, you could use a, there's some stuff you could use to lighten the gray.
There's stuff you could use to go full throttle.
But I don't think you do not pluck them, bro.
Do not pluck them, little.
You know, those are your soldiers too, man.
They've been to war for you.
It's kind of like the Veterans Administration a little bit.
Your hair is just kind of, you know, those boys have been to war for you.
They might have been the first ones out the gate.
Some of them could have been pubic hairs that, you know, migrated north or something if things got dicey down there.
You know?
Maybe one of your nuts went bad or something and scared the area.
And then, bam, some of your public hairs came out your top, your head.
So I think that you got to treat them like that.
They might have been scared.
Maybe they watched a scary movie.
And, you know, you fell asleep, but some of them stayed up and now they're grayed out.
But keep them.
Do not pluck them because down the line you will want to have any hairs you can have and you'll be like, damn, that pulls them bastards out at the root.
So I think, I would say a little bit of touch is good, but at a certain point, color it up.
If you're still shopping for a mate, if you're still trying to touch, you know, touch a little bit of damp on some lady or, you know, if you're trying to grab rot on a man, if you gay.
If you're trying to grab rot on a man or touch damp on a woman, then you wanna, you're gonna wanna keep your hair.
Now, if you're married or whatever, you lock down, dog, who gives a damn?
You know what I'm saying?
Shave a damn, you know, you could put it, do a damn cinnamon roll or do a damn crop circle in your head.
Who gives a damn?
You know?
You could join the damn Aryan volleyball team or whatever.
You know what I'm saying?
Who gives a damn?
If you lock down with a mate, it's a rap anyway.
You could trim all your hair off your head and just do a thick-ass mustache or something.
Glue that shit on your face.
You know, I was in a juvenile detention one time for Halloween, and we could do costumes.
And so one dude sold us some of his hair, you know, cut it off his head, and we all made mustaches out of it.
And we were all kind of Italian for Halloween.
So pretty cool, man.
Also kind of crazy to be trading a couple cigarettes for half of a handful of a man's hair.
But that's juvy, baby.
You know what I'm saying?
Back that ass up.
But thank you, Zeb, over there out of Charleston, South Carolina.
And I may, you may see me in Peoria, Illinois in a week or so over there just popping into town.
We'll see.
We'll see.
I don't know.
We'll see.
But thank you for that, man.
I'm going to get in here more.
Here we got another.
This is a video that I guess we're going to comment on a little bit of the news here about a woke teacher.
Okay, so during three period, we have announcements and they do the Pledge of Allegiance.
Woke teacher suggests student to pledge to pride flag.
Here we go.
I always tell my class, stand if you feel like it.
Don't stand if you feel like it.
Say the words if you want.
Don't have to say the words.
So my class decided to stand, but not say the words.
Totally fine.
Except for the fact that my room does not have a flag.
It used to be there.
But I took it down during COVID because it made me uncomfortable.
And I packed it away and I don't know where, and I haven't found it yet.
But my kid today goes, hey, it's kind of weird that we just stand and then, you know, we say it to nothing.
And I'm like, oh, well, you know, I got to find it.
Like, I'm working on it.
I got you.
This is some freedom thought.
That's what I call this lady, a freedom thought.
You know.
You know, I just, to me, it's disrespectful.
You know, to be living at a place.
But and it's not a lot to ask.
That w when you do the Pledge of Allegiance, if you do that, you have the flag there.
It's a small bit to ask.
To just show some respect, you know, in a country, I don't, you know, it's interesting this lady, you know, she's willing to share the freedom of, you know, she's obviously using her freedom of speech, which, you know, I guess just she just thinks people automatically get.
I'd love to see her make this video in Afghanistan or in maybe Saudi Arabia.
I would love to see her make this there.
That would be very interesting.
Doesn't seem like that that would be possible.
Just seems interesting that it made her feel uncomfortable.
The American flag.
That's some of the stuff I don't get.
I think, especially as a leader, if you're a teacher, you know, you're just, everything is already all about us.
Everything's all about me, me, me.
So you have one moment in a day where you can bring people together and have them do kind of just show a small homage of something that's not about them.
And that this is what you choose to do.
Instead, you choose to make this TikTok, you know, I'm sure like, you know, I mean, there's a lot of freedoms and liberties created under the flag, the banner.
It's a symbol.
It's a symbol.
It made her uncomfortable.
It just, I don't know.
I wish there was some sort of form of treason.
This is just my thought.
Now, if other people have different thoughts, you don't like the fight, that's fine.
I personally think it's a little strange.
I think it's disrespectful.
You know, I think it's weird to enjoy all the freedoms, but act like it's so wrong how we got them.
Bitch, there's no other way to get, this is how it's worked.
You know?
I don't know, man.
That shit just really irks me, man.
You know?
You know, she made it about her.
That's the thing, too.
Even by making this video, she made it about her.
It's like, can't something for one minute not be about just one?
Can't it not be just about you?
Like, you make this video.
She just calls, it's just like, why does it have to be about you, lady?
Did you, have you done anything for freedom?
You know, have you done anything that's helped us preserve our freedoms?
Maybe she does.
Maybe she teaches civil liberties.
I don't know what she teaches, you know?
You know, I almost, I mean, and this is kind of like, you know, sometimes I hope that there's like a day where there's a, if shit ever hits the fan, I bet she puts that bitch right back up.
You know?
If shit ever, I bet she puts that bitch right back up.
This seems like a kind of woman that would put a flag up for anything, honestly, if it behooved her.
That's to me.
That's kind of how I feel about it, man.
I just think, you know, she has the freedom to do this.
She has the freedom of speech, man.
You know, she has the freedom to say what she wants to do.
Can you even be a female teacher in some countries?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But it just seems disrespectful, man, to me.
It's not always about you.
It's not about you, lady.
It's not about you.
You have one chance during the day to bring people together and instead, you know, you don't know where you're the fight.
Come on.
She just wants to make things about her.
I wish one day maybe there's a chance.
Maybe there's a, you know, maybe there's a moment where down the line where they just let you purge out people who want to be in America and people who don't want to be.
Because that, to me, that's what it feels like.
It's like, oh, I don't want to be, you know, I'm not a part of something.
You know, I don't know.
It just feels real selfish to me, man.
But maybe, you know, but then also we're in new waters in America where, you know, it used to feel like we're all on the same team.
And then now a lot of people, it doesn't.
It doesn't.
And maybe some people feel that this country doesn't represent them.
But this is where we're at.
It's just society.
It's like, I don't think everything about the country represents me.
But damn, I'm just grateful to be in this place where I can live out my dreams, where I could be a teacher if I wanted, or I could be a comedian if I wanted, or I could be a father, you know, of probably as many kids as I wanted, as long as I was willing to do sex or whatever and raise the children.
Or not even raise.
You can give the children up in this country and the country will raise them for you.
You know, albeit probably not real well, some of these Arfanages, bruh.
If you've ever been to an Arfanage, dog, they fucking, they wildin' in that bitch.
I remember when I was in middle school, we played a, some local Orphanage came over, dog, and they had like a, it was supposed to be like a volleyball game, us against them to create some unity or something.
And that shit was bizarre, dog.
Bizarre.
So anyway, if you have thoughts on it, man, hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
You don't have to agree with me.
I just think this, honestly, I think this bitch is pretty selfish, bro.
And I hate to say it like that, but I don't know if it's self.
It is selfish.
It's just disrespectful, you know?
And I guess, part of me is I don't understand where that school of thought comes from.
Maybe it's just a you know, I don't know.
I just to me, I don't know where that comes from, you know.
Like, even when I've worked at places that I didn't really like, I would still wear the uniform, you know.
Maybe that's what this is.
Maybe she really hates it here, but there's nowhere else that can go.
She can go.
Don't come by me, though.
Damn.
Anyway, I'm not saying that I'm right the way that I think, but that is how I think about it, man.
If I'm real honest with you, praise God, man.
Let's see what else we got here.
Alright, we had a fight break.
Smack it!
You!
Ooh.
This is a fight breaks out at the Woodley Paul fight.
And it wasn't in the ring, that's for damn sure.
There's something.
I'm glad this broke out in the stands.
At least these people got to see some real action.
You know, Jake Paul is a mastermind, I will say that.
He has picked the perfect people to fight.
It's like the perfect amount of ability for people to fight.
The ability to fight that they have in them.
Tyron, there's no one more frustrating to cheer on than Tyron Woodley.
Nobody.
Even Dave Chappelle, that was one of my favorite things to watch was Dave Chappelle in the distance, I think, realizing how frustrating it is to cheer on Tywan.
Who cares?
Tyron Woodley.
It's like, and he never does.
You're just like, and he never does.
Maybe he did a long time ago.
You know, and I know that he's a nice man.
People love this man.
But when it comes to being a fan, that's all I know.
He could beat my ass, I'm sure.
But I don't know if he would, though.
That's the thing about him.
There's this, it's almost like somebody's controlling him and they just, they have carpal tunneler.
He just, you're almost like, how would you not, you just have every, it just, I don't know.
There's nothing more frighten.
It's almost like you're stuck in traffic.
That's what it feels like cheering for Tyron Woodley.
You're like, fuck a punch.
And they bring him out there.
They got him dressed like he's being sex trafficked, honestly.
They got him dressed like he's being sex trafficked, dog.
He's dressed like a like a gender reveal party at like Elon Musk's trap house.
I mean, it's a unique look.
And he comes, I mean, I almost, I don't know if he, and I hate to say it, I just don't know how mentally he, there he is still.
That's the part, because there's always that element of him that it's missing that gear that everyone else seems to want him to have.
But I don't know his motivations.
His motivations might have been go out there and get paid.
Get that bag.
Don't throw any fists.
He may love Jake Paul.
They may do Thanksgiving together twice a week.
Because I don't know if you know rich people, a new thing rich people are doing is more Thanksgivings.
That's when you know shit's getting weird.
When rich people's having extra Thanksgivings.
And everybody else out here fist fighting at the papa's.
Everybody else out here giving birth at Arby's.
And rich people out here having more than one Thanksgiving.
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I refuse to cheer on Tyron Woodley.
Even though I want to cheer, I refuse to cheer him.
It's like he just doesn't do it.
Hey, Tyron, he just doesn't do it.
Jake Paul's a mastermind, man.
And it's also amazing.
You could see each fight.
He's just learning to get into a different...
You know, Nate Robinson, that was, I mean, they were all real fights.
But this was the first one where it felt like I think where it really felt, I don't know.
You thought Nate Robinson, I thought Nate Robinson had a chance.
Ben Askron, I did not think had a chance.
Woodley, I thought Woodley, I thought Paul would win.
But I thought Woodley had a chance, man.
And I think Woodley thought he had a chance.
But I think after Woodley thought he had a chance, he didn't think anything else.
And that's the strange thing.
There's nothing worse.
There's nothing worse.
I've done it for his past five fights.
There's nothing worse than cheering on Tyron Woodley.
There really isn't.
As a fighter.
Now, I'm sure, as just a regular man, oh, he can be your hero.
But damn.
What else?
We got a little more news here.
Chet Hanks.
Hey, guys.
This is Tom Hanks' son.
And he did White Boy Summer.
You know him.
He's got some good anthems out there.
And he had this to say about the vaccine.
So just checking in, look, I've been kind of on the fence about this for a while.
That's why I've never spoke on it.
But with the amount of people that I know recently that have gotten COVID and with like the numbers rising, I think it's important for me to say, like, I got the vaccine.
I think everybody should.
I think it's really important that we all do this just as citizens, as Americans.
We have to look out for each other and get this shit under control, guys.
So like, I suggest to all my followers, you guys make, set an appointment and get the vaccine first thing.
Psych!
Bitch, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I never had COVID.
Y'all sticking me with that motherfucking needle.
It's the motherfucking flu.
Get over it, okay?
If you're sick, stay inside.
I'm tired of having a cold.
Why are we working around y'all?
If you're in danger, stay your ass inside.
I'm tired of wearing a motherfucking mask.
Gang, baby.
Gang, baby.
And that's Chet Hanks.
His dad was on the island with the volleyball.
You know him, man.
Beautiful, dude.
You know, I don't think you should have to get vaccinated if you don't want to.
I don't think that.
It's not that I don't think it.
It's just it's unconstitutional.
It's an unconstitution.
It's not.
I don't think you should have to.
Some people want to get vaccinated.
Some people don't.
That's fine.
That's totally fine.
I don't think there's a point with this with this disease yet where it, that that's where we're at.
I don't think that.
You can think something different, and that's okay.
That's totally okay.
I don't think you're wrong.
I don't.
What I do notice for sure is that us keeping everybody away from each other is not helping.
The second we start to get people back together.
Oh, there's a new variant.
It's bad, you know.
I think you got to let this thing go through humanity.
I think Mother Nature's a bad bitch.
She obviously is playing different cards that we don't have.
She got Delta variants.
She gots damn, she'll, you know, she'll, next thing you know, they're going to have a raccoon throwing fireballs and drinking COVID and biting motherfuckers.
MFers, sorry.
MFers, you know who you are.
So that's where I'm at with it.
I think all the separation, all the stopping society, I do believe that it's ridiculous.
Now, I know a lot more people that are getting COVID for sure.
I think a lot of us do.
I think you got to let it pass through.
And some people's going to go.
And guess what?
Then that's that, Bubba.
Some people gots to go.
Might be me, might be you, fam.
Now, some people I think are super afraid to go because they don't have any, you know, they're not maybe into an afterlife.
They don't believe in any, they might not believe in, you know, you're just surfing the ether out there after.
They might think it's just lights out.
So, of course, they're going to bet all their, you know, all their ducats on this dog race.
But I think you got to let Mother Nature roll through.
Because I think that's all, that's what's going to happen anyway.
She's already switching it up.
All right, here's this other version.
The thing has to pass through.
That's where I'm at with it.
Now, if you disagree with me, that's fine.
I'm not mad at you.
I think you got to cover your old people and keep them safe, you know.
But I think Mother Nature has a bigger plan for things.
Now, also, I grew up next to the primate center in Covington, Louisiana.
And they tested the polio vaccine over there.
This is facts.
Go look it up.
It's where they even created the polio vaccine.
And the vaccine gave cervical cancer to millions of women.
But they'd already made the vaccine.
So they, the government, and the pharmaceutical company, I don't know if pharma was involved in it or if it was just the government doing it, they just said, fuck, we already paid for it all.
Some of y'all is going to have, you know, that sloppy cervix going on.
Some of y'all's going to be cervixed out.
And they gave it to everybody anyway because they'd already made the vaccination.
See what I'm saying?
So now, so automatically, I was born in a bed of distrust right there.
Being in that area, that's in the water by me.
So for me, when you add on the fact that now everybody's just trusting pharmaceutical companies, I don't trust big pharmaceutical companies, man.
I hate the fact that I'm addicted to antidepressants.
I hate the fact that during COVID, I've lost six friends to overdose.
Six friends, man.
Real human friends that I know that I could call on my phone.
I've lost them to overdosing.
Now, some of it was opioid overdoses.
I think four of them were opioid overdoses.
So I don't trust Big Pharma, dog.
I don't trust these fucks, man.
I do not.
So that's kind of where I'm at with it.
You know, I'm okay if Mother Nature takes me.
I'm okay if she keeps me.
And you and I don't have to agree the same, man.
You know, and if you have a thought on it, you can welcome to hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
I know we're all kind of over a lot of that kind of stuff.
But I just don't see now that we had all the vaccination, everybody separate, everybody wear these masks, all this shit, and now even more people are getting it, obviously whatever we were doing to me wasn't working.
So I'm just the guy, man.
I like being a part of Mother Nature.
You know, I like seeing a lamb.
I like smelling a rose or smelling a daffodil.
Some people, I guess, see all that shit and they don't trust it.
But that's not where I'm at.
I'm of the theory, man, let's, you know, we're already playing the game with Mother Nature to think that she doesn't have bigger cards than us when it's obviously that she can flex when she wants.
That seems like a lot to me for us to just think that some little thing we're going to create is really going to lock it down.
Now, I know there's been other stuff in the past, you know.
You know, I think the Black Plague or whatever, they beat it with something.
And polio, they beat it, but they also, dude, go look back on it.
This is facts, man.
They gave a lot of cervical cancer to a lot of broads out there who probably didn't want cervical cancer.
So you got to think about them as well.
Let's see if we can get one more, two more calls.
And we got a single mom we're going to hit up.
Thank you guys for being a part of my life today, man.
I've really needed it.
You know, I've been so angry recently.
I've just been struggling.
I've just been so angry, man.
I've been so angry.
And the tough part is I don't know what I'm angry at.
I don't know if it's just stuff in the world or if it's stuff inside of me.
But I do know for me that feeling, I can't solve it by myself.
You know, I'm the lock.
I need something bigger than me.
And that's either maybe humanity, other people, a higher power.
You know, that's just some of the stuff I'm that I'm I don't know and I know a lot of people out there struggling with stuff man and uh gang baby sometimes when I think of like what gang am I in bro I think that's the gang I'm in you know but we don't give up you know we don't give up I don't give up on you and you don't give up on me baby amen baby praise God you know that all
right let's see if we can get one more good we have some great calls that came into what's up Theo this is Lees.
I'm an artist and I live in Brooklyn, New York.
What's up, baby?
Shout out Brooklyn, son.
You know what I'm saying, dude?
I used to like that movie, The Newsies, about the paper boys over there.
Open the gates and seize the day.
Don't tell anybody, dog.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, I don't mean newsies, bro.
I mean Jay-Z, bro.
You feel me, dog?
Gang.
Fat Joe.
Onward, brother.
Thank you for calling.
I don't know.
I listen to your podcast all the time, and I'm just really at a place in my life right now where your podcast and your transparency brings me a lot of clarity and hope in life.
And I've called before, and I know you have a lot of people that call in, but I'm like struggling with drinking and substance.
And I make music, and it helps me feel good, but just day-to-day Life and the traumas of life and feeling heard and balancing thoughts and mental illness has been really tough for me.
And I don't know, this could be a fucking Hail Mary to win.
But listening to you speak about your life and where you come from, even though you're a white dude from Louisiana, makes me feel like somebody understands.
And I just want to let you know that I appreciate what you're doing.
And I'm glad that you have an outlet where you can be yourself and make a living because it's tough fitting into society.
Yeah, thanks, bro.
Thanks for the nice message, man.
Yeah, I am lucky, man.
I am really lucky.
I didn't mean to interrupt you there.
Let's keep listening.
And it's tough playing a game of life in general.
And, you know, I have a lady that's been trying really hard to stick by my side.
And I've been trying to reciprocate her ethics in shoulder care and keeping things afloat.
But it's tougher than I think you who personally.
And maybe it's an artist thing.
Maybe it's just fucking weird.
Well, man, it's definitely something in the artist part, I think.
You know, because I think artists, as an artist, man, I noticed this about myself, and I don't want to admit this.
I'm real sensitive.
You know, I'm real sensitive, bro.
You know, and I always was that way.
And so I think that's why you make art because you have these extra feelings kind of spinning around and these extra thoughts and stuff.
And so you have to do something with them.
And so you create things that then create that help other people have thoughts and feelings.
When you hear music or you see art, sometimes you get a thought or a feeling.
So of course, those things were created by thoughts and feelings.
That only makes.
So yeah, I get all this sensitivity, man.
And for me, I know drugs and alcohol and stuff like that doesn't, sensitivity doesn't.
It doesn't mix real well.
Because for me, I notice I'm already a little bit high on myself in a weird way.
I'm a little bit already kind of artistic.
I'm a little fucking, I'm not drunk, but something inside of me is, I think.
Sometimes my heart might be drunk or my brain might be geeked up on something God gave it.
I don't know.
But I know it's being creative.
It's tough because you feel a lot and you think a lot.
You know, and just recently I've been reminded that my feelings don't matter that much.
They matter.
They're real.
You know, they're real and I can have them and it's okay to share them with people.
But what I do is what matters.
You know, I heard you talk about a relationship and somebody that cares about you and man.
You know, I have this weird, for me, my receiver is broken.
You know, I can't feel people care about me as much as I can't feel.
You know, I want to, but I think my receiver, my receptor is, there's something wrong with my receptor.
And it's broken.
It's not completely broken, but I mean, you know, it ain't, you know, I probably could use a replacement, but they didn't issue the, you know, when you get that card in the mail, it says like the drive shaft is, you know, it's called like recall.
They should have done a recall on my receptors.
You know, I can't feel when people care about me that much.
I just can't feel it.
I can see it, but it just doesn't land on me the right way.
So I don't know, man.
Maybe you have some of the same things that I have.
But the things that I do know are what I do.
Those are real things.
So my actions, those are very real.
You know, my feelings are, they try to, they're real strong because I'm sensitive.
So I get extra feelings, bro.
Like I'm standing in the lunch line of like when your soul gets put together and that bitch just keeps putting feelings on my plate.
I'm like, damn, bitch.
I can't even carry my tray anymore, man.
I can barely even carry my soul lunch tray.
That bitch is feeling me out.
And so I'm heavy with feelings.
I always am.
I'm so heavy with feelings, man.
And that's okay.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I'm not a bad person.
You know, it's good.
Maybe sometimes it's good.
You know, because it does allow me to have extra feelings to use to create art and do certain things.
But yeah, I have a really tough time connecting with people, man.
And there's definitely some women out there I owe some apologies to who have stuck by my side and I just couldn't get it right.
And they deserved really to have somebody get it right for them.
You know?
And it's okay that things didn't work out.
But yeah, just don't be too hard on yourself.
But just remember your actions are the things that we can really, those are where we can see the proof.
If I look for the proof in all my feelings, man, fuck, I'll be over there forever.
That's a lost and found.
But my actions, whatever I did, even though if I don't feel like it, you know, today I got up, dude, I did yoga for like almost like an hour and a half.
I didn't want to, but I need to do it because I got to take care of myself, you know.
Then I went to an AA meeting and I didn't really want to go, but I was glad I did.
You know, and man, I was so frustrated.
Even during this episode, I've been frustrated.
But I was going to quit.
I was going to quit earlier, but I didn't want to give up.
You know, we got a single mom that we're going to reach out to.
So in about 20 minutes, I'm going to be done with this episode.
I'm going to be able to look and see, even if it's not the best episode, you know, which I didn't, the first 30 minutes, I'm like, God, I hate this episode.
But I'm going to be finished.
I'm going to have something to say.
I did my stuff today.
And now sometimes I need to apply that to my relationships too.
Some of that same sort of, but I don't know if I'm there yet.
But anyway, brother, gang, man, and thank you for calling.
You know, and, you know, I believe in the beige future, man.
I've always thought beige power.
You know, I believe that one day we are all going to end up the same color somewhere.
You know, in 12 generations, everybody, because every, you know what I'm saying?
Everybody's banging Asian girls and black dudes are banging everybody.
So, you know, a couple more generations, we all going to be beige, dude.
We're all going to be the same color.
So then we're going to look back on racial time.
That's going to be weird.
You know.
But beige power, man, it's like we're all going to end up there, you know, with one common tone.
Now, if beige people ain't pledging the allegiance to the flag, man, I'm still probably going to say, fuck them now.
So, gang, brother.
But I love you, bro.
And thank you for calling, man.
And let me know what you're dealing with, man.
Because it makes me...
Thank you.
You know, I don't feel like I'm crazy or anything.
I just feel like I'm human.
And it's not always easy.
And we're battling the dark arts right now, man.
There's a lot of them.
They're on the television.
They're on our phones.
They are in our heads.
They're in our hearts.
We're battling the dark arts.
And I think what we have is each other.
And I do believe that, man.
Gang, brother.
All right, man.
Let's call.
Let's actually, we got a beautiful voicemail that came in right now to nominate a single mom.
And let's check this out right here.
Thank you very much.
Hey, what's going on, Theo?
Isaac from Atlanta, Georgia here.
What's up, Isaac?
Atlanta, thank you for hitting us up, brother.
Good to see you today.
First off, I just wanted to make this video and say congrats on what you got going on with your podcast and your comedy.
Man, you're killing it.
You make my day every time you upload.
Thank you, man.
I appreciate you saying that, man.
You know, I just...
Happy to be alive.
Onward.
My favorite part of your podcast is probably where you nominate a single mom.
And that clip's close to home because I actually wanted to nominate somebody, which is my own mom.
I'm 19. She's played both roles my entire life, the father and the mother.
She works so hard just to put food on the table every day, 9 to 9. It don't matter.
And I wish there was just some way to give back, which is what I'm working on right now.
I'm at work right now on break, actually.
But yeah, man, it would mean the world to me, Theo.
Gang, gang, brother.
Gang, baby.
Yeah, I think we can, let's see what we can do here, man.
We got some information right here on the young lady.
All right.
Yeah, let's see if we can give her a ring-a-ling here.
And the fellow named Isaac.
She's always supported me through sports, and she supports me in trying to become a comedian myself.
She will give me the last of her food, even if she has nothing to eat herself.
That's just who she is.
Oh, she looks like a charming lady.
A beautiful young lady.
She's 55. She's been cutting hair for 30 years.
Okay.
Well, dang, yeah.
See if I can look decent.
and her name is laurie hobs Hey, Lori, what's up?
Hello.
What's up, Lori?
Hello.
Hey, how are you?
Sorry, I'm not like a prison guard or anything.
I'm a regular guy.
I work on a podcast.
Okay.
Sorry, I'm not like a bad guy.
I work on a podcast, and we have a part of our podcast where people nominate single mothers who, you know, they nominate, people have done it over the years.
And so Isaac is your son.
He nominated you as just somebody he really admires and wanted to say thank you to.
And so that's why we're calling.
We just wanted to let you know that we love you, and so does he.
And we wanted to give you a gift.
He said you cut hair.
Is that right?
Yes.
All right.
What you think about this flex I got?
We wanted to give you $1,000 as a gift, just as a nice little thank you, just to so you could go do something fun for yourself or go do something fun for you and Isaac.
That's it.
My name's Theo, by the way.
We never met.
And that's really all.
What are you watching?
You watching TV or what?
Yeah, I'm just relaxing.
What you watching a little bit?
Tell me.
Be honest with me.
I'll tell you what I like.
Friday Night Light.
Ooh, it's good, huh?
Yes.
God, it's good, dude.
And he gets in the wheelchair in the beginning.
I wish they would have given him at least a couple episodes before they put him in the chair.
Jesus, man.
Dude, I met the guy.
I met the guy who ends up in the wheelchair one time at a party, and he was really nice.
Did you?
Yeah.
And the blonde chick, huh?
What season are you on?
I don't even know.
I don't know how to do all that.
You shouldn't know, man.
If I die, I'm getting 59 lights pumped into my coffin, honey.
It's good.
And the music in it is good.
Yes.
And which girl you think is cuter, the blonde or that brunette you like?
I think the, well, I like the brunette, but the blonde is cute.
Yeah.
She's a little sassy.
Yeah, she's a little sassy.
She's married.
I looked at her Instagram.
She's been married for, I think, for about a year and a half now.
But I saw her at a bar once a long time ago, and I could have hit on her, and I got scared.
So is that your only son, Isaac?
That's your only child?
It's my only child.
What would you give him?
Oh, what's up, Isaac?
What would you give him on a scale of one to 10?
And be honest with us here.
I'd have to say an eight.
I love that.
Yes.
So where does he show up a little short?
Let's be serious here, Lori.
Where does he come in a little short, huh?
Making decisions.
Yeah.
Making the right decisions.
Like making his mom get on FaceTime with somebody she doesn't know while she's relaxing.
Dang, he is wrong for that.
Well, I do know that he decided to make a video and send it into us just to let you know that he loved you and that he cares about you and that he thinks the world of you.
And so we do too.
Thank you.
We just wanted to tell you that and we'll have our producer follow up with you guys and send you a little gift so y'all can go do something fun sometime.
Thank you.
You bet.
All right, dude.
Enjoy the...
Enjoy the...
Is he in that one?
Yes, he's making a decision where he wants to go to college.
Oh, yeah.
God.
God, it's good.
Well, enjoy yourself and thank you for taking some time out of your day for us.
Thank you.
All right.
We love you.
Bye-bye.
You bet.
Thank you, Deo.
All right, gang, baby.
Be good.
Gang, gang, baby.
All right, make good decisions.
Yes, sir.
Okay, all right.
Oh, man.
That's fun.
That's worth a thousand bucks right there.
Getting to spend a little bit of time with a mother and son right there.
God, that's a good show.
Man, it's so funny.
I've been thinking about watching that show.
And then she's watching it.
So.
Yeah, man, it's just interesting, you know.
The things that I put myself into are the things that adjust how I feel.
Because you can't feel your way into right action, but you can act your way into right feelings, you know.
I can feel all day, man.
Or I can think.
You can't think your way into right actions, but you can act your way into right thinking.
That's one thing I learned or have learned for me.
That might not be true for you, but I could think all day, man, I'm going to do that.
I'm going to do that.
I'm going to do that.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
This one.
I'm going to do this.
But if I act and I just keep doing those things, then my thinking, it will follow me.
It has to come with me.
You know, it has to come along.
So anyway, man, everybody stay safe out there.
You know, it's rocky times on the inside and on the out.
Mother Nature's playing cards.
Father Time is playing cards.
Satan himself out here with a deck on these news channels getting us to buy into whatever, you know, fear, fear.
You scared?
They scaring us all.
So I think we just got to try to find things that are true, man.
And do our best.
And do our best to be those things.
You know.
I mean, we all portray certain things, but if we can find a way to share those moments inside of us that are pretty real, that's what I want.
I don't want to be laying there in my coffin or whatever and still have a lot of cards to play, you know.
Especially not a lot of cards that are ones of things I should have said or, you know, feelings that I was afraid to have or moments that I was afraid to have, you know.
Hmm.
That's got to be a tough deck to be holding on to at the end.
But anyway, thank you guys for being a part of my life today.
Man, my feelings have changed throughout this episode, and I'm grateful for that.
We'll get back at it.
We got Jay Cutler's coming in for the next week's episode.
So that should be exciting.
And I think he's a unique man, and so I'm excited to spend time with him.
I will be in La Jolla this weekend doing some shows.
I think it's just popping through to get some practice for the new tour.
And that's all I got, man.
You guys be good to yourselves.
And if you're going to get wet with something, bro, if you're going to get damp, make sure it's Robert Randolph as the one.
And that you're getting clean with good water, baby.
Baptize yourself with something decent, gang.
Dirty water, red clay mud.
I need redemption, saved from the blood.
Give me everlasting, immortal love.
I'm there for the waiting.
I'm lost in the blood, y'all.
I'm begging you be, back to me.
You gotta be good to yourself.
You deserve it.
Come on.
Come on.
I'm begging you be, back to me.
We all gonna get warm somehow.
Come on.
Never seen Luckin' that in that way.
Now all my blues.
Team Brighton days.
I'm a son of a creature, man.
Small pastly shade.
I never learned a devil's song.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voices today.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, sweetheart.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kai Club is a dodgy-bloody white guy.
I mean.
Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
Oh, no.
I think Tom Hanks just busted out.
Anyway, first rule of Kai Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
Second rule of the Kai Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
Third rule.
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