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Feb. 6, 2021 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von

02:17:16

E320 Jim Breuer

Theo sits down with SNL alum and Half Baked icon, Jim Breuer, to discuss the state of comedy, crazy Norm MacDonald stories and Jim's journey of caring for his father. New Merch https://theovonstore.com https://bit.ly/theo-von This episode is brought to you by: BlueChew: https://bluechew.com and use promo code THEO The Zebra: https://thezebra.com/theo Babbel: https://babbel.com and use promo code THEO for an extra 3 months free Modiphy: https://modiphy.com/theo to schedule your free demo today Liquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com Music: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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	Today's episode is brought to you by Liquid Death Mountain Water.
	Murder Your Thirst.
	Today's guest is, I mean, the dude is just a real, you know, he's gone the road most traveled and then the road he wanted to travel.
	We're going to learn, you know, I don't know if we're going to learn shit, but we're going to do our best, man.
	I'm just honored to be here with him today.
	I actually met him 20 years ago, but neither one of us really remembers it.
	But we'll get into it.
	ladies and gentlemen mr jim brewer Shine on me.
	And I will find a song I've been singing just before.
	I...
	Once you realize the point of you're not in it for the rest of the world, you're in it for you and for what you want to put out there.
	I don't care what this one says, what movie they'll put me.
	I don't care.
	This is, you can't get a better life than what you're doing right now.
	Yeah.
	You can't.
	You beat the system.
	Yeah.
	That is, there's no better thing in life.
	you control your destiny.
	Yeah, I think I feel sometimes I think I feel sometimes like there's always this thing like, like if you don't, there's like a validation, this invisible validation.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	That comes from, it's this Hollywood thing.
	It's like, oh, if I don't, you know, I could have, I could be selling tickets, but if I'm not on the tonight show, man, I'm a no, you know, there's no, I don't have that, I haven't been licked by the goose or something, you know?
	Of course, that's the way I start.
	I started out.
	I wanted to be accepted by this guy and this guy and this comedian.
	Because all comedians are like, unless you're accepted by this guy or that guy.
	Right.
	And you're not in.
	I'm not in.
	And to be honest with you, I didn't like any of them.
	Because I didn't like any of them.
	They were...
	When I grew up, it was God, family, friends.
	Everyone looks after each other.
	This industry is, I'll slice your throat, I'll dance in your blood, and then videotape it and make money off of it.
	And it's traumatizing is the best word to use it.
	And I went through a lot through the whole, coming up, the whole system.
	I learned so much.
	I'm glad what I learned.
	You know, sometimes I'll reflect.
	I talk a lot about, you're talking about things.
	God, it's so much sad.
	I don't even know where to start.
	Yeah, no, thanks for coming in, man.
	It started with the clubs doing the city clubs and the city in New York City.
	And, you know, I knew there was envy and people were jealous.
	And like, what am I doing to bother you?
	What am I doing to bother you?
	I'm doing my set.
	And is this bothering you?
	Is it bothering you that they're laughing?
	What is going on?
	So as time went on, Hollywood, I realized it was the most vile ever.
	It's soulless.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Yeah, you look for this.
	You look to think at some point this thing has to have a heart or some compassion, and it never turns that.
	And if anything, it lures you in and going, no, I'm here for you.
	I'm going to give you some honesty and compassion.
	And then when you're not looking, I fell for it again.
	It's pretty.
	It'll make sushi out of you.
	It doesn't even.
	It's.
	Yeah, I know.
	It'll make fucking sushi.
	Traumatizing is a good word, man.
	Like, I have a friend who just got in trouble.
	He was using a, they caught him that he was using a racial slur.
	And it's crazy.
	Like, they.
	So news outlets, this was fascinating to me.
	News outlets that never would have even paid attention to him before are now like put, like, just using the term racial slur in their headlines, right?
	So basically, they're using his mess up, you know, his mistake to just to get their clicks.
	And it's like, it's just because they're in the way they're using the word now, like they're using the racial, you know what I'm saying?
	They're then using it.
	And I don't understand what that is or where it comes from, but I consider all of them bottom feeders.
	Yeah.
	They're complete bottom feeders.
	But there's people, there's real humans that are attached to the, that are in the tank, you know.
	They're in the tank.
	Their days are coming.
	Yeah.
	You can't live forever with trying to do that to people.
	Did you so was there a point where you kind of felt like, okay, I'm going to take myself out of this some or I'm going to slow this train down?
	Like, I just remembered, just from an outsider perspective, I just remember, dang, that's Jim Brewer, man.
	He's one of the funniest guys that there is and he's a star.
	Like, I didn't, I never noticed that you like separated yourself from like some of the vibe or the industry or something.
	Did you feel like you kind of did that?
	I know I did.
	It was first it was the once, you know, I kind of got, I won't say shot out of a cat.
	I had a drive.
	I was confident.
	I was cocky.
	So in 89, I decided this is what I'm doing forever.
	Right.
	And I was doing clubs and was out of Florida.
	Were you doing well then?
	Yeah, and I had goals.
	I was like, I'm going to become house MC to the middle.
	And then when I'm middle, I'm going to make your life miserable Trying to follow him.
	That shit was fun.
	And I loved that.
	Oh, being in the middle was fucking good.
	You get all through 22 minutes, you're fucking legend.
	Crushing it.
	And then they're like, we want to flop you.
	Not for the same pay, you're not.
	I went through that stage where I go, like, following the kid.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah, there's always that guy, dude.
	Yeah.
	And then you meet, and then you come across some people that school you.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you think I've never seen someone like you before?
	You know what?
	I'll go up before you.
	Bing, bang, boom, bing.
	Follow that kid.
	Oh, wow.
	Okay.
	Yeah, maybe we shouldn't flip-flop.
	Yeah.
	And then once TV started, I was actually on an all-black show called the Uptown Comedy Club.
	That was my first big...
	It was syndicated.
	Uptown Comedy Club?
	So was it sketches and stuff?
	Yeah.
	No way.
	When I say...
	You know what it was?
	It was the best television show I've ever been on in my life.
	And why I say that?
	Because there were no egos.
	Everyone was helping each other.
	And I thought this was the industry.
	And not only that, they would talk to us.
	The producers were sitting.
	It was in Harlem.
	It was on 125th and 5th.
	In 89?
	No, this is 92. Damn, that must have been, that was such a hype time, too.
	There was so much like, I'm sure, especially in Harlem, there was just a lot of fun energy in the air.
	Oh, my God.
	And it was a tough area.
	Oh, yeah.
	I saw him get shot.
	Yeah, that's awesome, dude.
	Tracy Morgan was on that show, and I'll never forget.
	It taught me about the hood and a different side of what you, it's just a completely different side of life that I, no college could ever teach you this.
	No politician could teach you.
	I'll never forget what happened was I heard pah, pa, pah, pa, pa, pa, right?
	And Tracy Morgan goes, who got shot?
	And I went, oh, you heard the fireworks?
	He was, I wouldn't firework, so I got shot.
	But he said it as yes.
	Yeah.
	And then he went, oh, he's across the street.
	Oh, he's struggling.
	And I still thought he was kidding.
	Like he's play by play, like he's at Michael suddenly.
	Yeah.
	Look at this guy.
	Can't even get another yard.
	Yeah.
	Like, oh, he might get another.
	Oh, he's down.
	He's on the ground.
	He's flattened out.
	Oh, he's trying to get back up.
	He's up to his, oh, he's down again.
	He's out of bounds, man.
	When it comes to being alive, this guy's out of bounds.
	Oh, and here comes the hecklers.
	Look at you now.
	Look at there's nothing worse than being shot.
	You're getting heckled.
	And now the hecklers come while you're struggling for your life.
	For your life.
	Oh, he leaking.
	He leaking.
	He's leaking hard.
	And I'll never forget the one guy who had no teeth.
	He came up.
	I swear to God, he goes, you smell that.
	That's like, you smell the smoke.
	It smelled like when I was in Vaughn.
	In Vietnam, you could still smell the smoke.
	And I went, oh my God.
	And I'll never forget, it's just the blood is dripping over the curb and it's going down the drain.
	Yeah.
	And then the paramedics come like, yeah, so two Jews walk in a bar.
	I got a Greek chump for you.
	And still, look at you now.
	Look at you.
	I was like, what?
	They're like, all right, let's go back to rehearsing.
	And then a church choir shows up also, though, for no reason to get here.
	Like, it's just amazing, dude.
	So that, to go from that to then the real Hollywood came.
	And I'll tell you what, I'll let you in.
	I'll lose something, but I'm not going to drop names.
	Okay.
	But I'll never forget these are black producers, a guy named Kevin Brown and Andre Brown.
	And he was later on 30 Rock.
	But they would come to us and they would tell us about vanity and losing your mind in Hollywood and be careful.
	And they came back from Hollywood to try and expand us.
	And they sat us down and they're like, you ain't going to believe what we saw.
	They're like, what did you see?
	And they said, we saw so-and-so, huge name.
	So-and-so, huge name.
	And so-and-so, big name back in the day.
	Chicken hawking at a party.
	And I went, see, you're white.
	I said, what's chicken hawking?
	Everyone like, ah, he's white.
	He don't know chicken hawking.
	I said, what's chicken hawking?
	That's when you hanging out with boys at a transvestites.
	I went, white!
	What?
	See, now you're telling stories.
	Now you're telling stories.
	But I never forgot that.
	Three years later, this name, BIN!
	Busted Chicken Hawking.
	That one's sick.
	This one, Bing, busted.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	They swept that up.
	That's what I call...
	It's a big, dark mafia.
	Yeah, it is.
	And then what happens is, I remember one of them, it was like the mobsters come and they're like, we understand.
	Not mobs, it's like Italian.
	Right, right, right.
	Whatever.
	You're talking about it.
	The attorneys, yeah.
	Right?
	And they come along like, listen, you sign this, you do some movies there.
	We'll put the soul under the table.
	We got enough money to make this go away.
	Bang, it's gone.
	No one ever brings it up.
	No one ever brings it up with this person.
	That's crazy.
	And there's two or three of them.
	Huge.
	Huge.
	But I guess what I'm saying is by the time I started doing Sound It Live and the Hat Big, blah, blah, blah, and TV thing, you know, Tim Allen, all this shit, it was, that's when I really saw how dark and soul.
	It just, it was dark.
	It stuck.
	I got creeped out.
	I get scared to death.
	It was soulless.
	Yeah.
	Never see anything.
	And I still, every time I get out there, I feel like, oh man, I just, I don't feel life out there.
	Yeah.
	I don't feel it at all.
	You know what?
	I've always said when I get off the plane there, I feel like I'm in the office.
	It always, like, I just feel like I'm in an office constantly.
	It always, every light feels like a fluorescent light.
	It feels like it never ends.
	But it's hard to find a, it is, it's hard to find a comfort out there.
	But there's always this dangle of a.
	Carrot.
	Yeah, and it's a carrot.
	And I don't even know what it is because like vanity.
	It's vanity.
	It's vanity.
	Is it?
	Vanity.
	You know you want this.
	Right.
	You know you want this.
	You're better than so-and-so.
	You know you're better than so-and-so.
	You get this, then it'll be worth this.
	And then your road will be worth this.
	You should be on.
	Dang, you want it.
	There's a little that is.
	Oh, I believe that.
	That's what we're so.
	As you're saying it, I'm thinking that.
	I'm thinking, I'm trying to feel like, you know, a lot of times things will land for me and my feelings.
	Like, is it vanity?
	Is it.
	It's fatty.
	Yeah, it's something of...
	It's ego and vanity.
	Yeah.
	It's ego.
	It's vanity.
	I want to be better than them.
	Yeah, it's, yeah, it's.
	It's not easy.
	No, it's not easy.
	I think also you start to see the other side of it too where it just, there's never like an understanding.
	You never get to talk to the person to have the conversation about what's interesting It's all kind of vague.
	The business is vague.
	The money is...
	And there's all extra people always stacked in at the last minute you never met.
	Right.
	And they're living and they've own your family now.
	They're just crazy.
	Your grandfather is now their grandfather.
	It's a non-stop Scarface movie.
	You go to, you got their money.
	You got the other seven of you?
	with...
	Yeah.
	What just happened?
	We think of a cutting.
	What's going on?
	They're cutting you.
	They're putting you in a commercial for bone sauce as they're cutting you in half, you know?
	Put this dress on and then take your pants off.
	And this is going to get you big time.
	It's gotten sick, man.
	Here's a question right here that came in from someone.
	This isn't live, Jim.
	This is just a man that sent this right here.
	Sure.
	What up, Jim?
	Huge fan, man.
	Man, ever since.
	Half baked, man.
	Anyways, I've been a comedian for about five years.
	What do you think the future is for us here with COVID going on?
	By the way, man, why your eyes always look so high?
	Gang, gang.
	Future question, what is kind of, do you think some of the future, I mean, things slowed down during COVID for sure?
	I mean, a lot of stages are still open.
	It's one of the reasons why I ended up coming here because stages are open and because it's a free state here, you know?
	But yeah, what do you think, man?
	Where do you see kind of comedy going?
	Like, do you see anything different?
	Does this stage still hold the same?
	Like, this is the last point of...
	Wow.
	The electricity of people was explosive.
	And there was a woman, a little older on my right, Chad, and...
	She's eating her chips, and everyone's like, ah!
	And I turned and I went, are you okay?
	You're not having fun?
	And she's like, I'm just enjoying being out.
	I'm just having my chips, and I'm just so happy.
	I don't have a mask on.
	I'll start paying attention a minute.
	And I laughed so hard.
	I went, I feel you.
	The crowd cheered.
	There's a live is never going to die.
	Even if we have to go back to the 20s and do it in people's houses, you're not going to stop that.
	That's the will of humanity.
	You can't stop us from being social as though they're doing their darndest, whoever they are, but they're doing everything they can to scare the living life out of you, to try to convince you that you are capable of murdering your grandmother and feeling guilty about hugging people and being with one another.
	To me, that's the cult.
	You know, they point fit.
	That's the real cult.
	The ones that are going, you know, are you ready to live your life knowing you killed your grandmother?
	You're the cult.
	You're the problem.
	That stems from pure dark.
	There's nothing good about that.
	We're only here one time.
	We need to hug.
	We need to see smiles.
	We need to touch.
	That's humanity.
	You take that away, it's over.
	Yeah, if you take that away, what's the point?
	I'm just here.
	I'm just a, you know, I'm a piece of a video game that can't even really play.
	And that's what they want.
	And people phone for it.
	Whole clients say they would watch the news like this.
	Like a parachute.
	The numbers are going up.
	Wear your mask.
	Wear your mask.
	Grandma killer.
	Oh my God, get back in your cage.
	Yeah.
	Please.
	Oh, I don't know where, you know, people always ask me, I don't know where we're going.
	Because every time I think I know where we're going, then boom, the TikTok person takes off.
	And then the Instagram person takes off.
	And the podcast takes off.
	No one knows what people want to.
	Comedy is wide open.
	Everyone needs to laugh.
	And there's every extreme type of comedy.
	So it's never going to die.
	You need to laugh.
	But back to that guy's question.
	I don't know where it's going.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I have no clue.
	I'm not worried about it.
	I can only do what I can control.
	53. I still need someone to help me with...
	I just found this guy.
	That's Sean, yeah.
	I just found my Sean.
	I'm like, you need to edit.
	Yeah.
	I started podcast.
	I'm looking at my podcast.
	You got a new podcast?
	Yeah, I've been doing it, but then I stopped because I have to call the guy.
	Right.
	Yeah, you got to get him to know the person and the, He calls the girl.
	Yeah.
	I'm like, I got to.
	You have to wait with the cables.
	Yes.
	I just, I think I could post in two weeks.
	I need Sean who goes, okay, first of all, the lights.
	I was watching what I filmed Wednesday, and there's a shadow over my face every two seconds.
	Like, I got to look somewhat professional.
	My microphone's going to look anything like this.
	Look like bebop.
	That fucking ham radio style.
	Yeah, so I need, I just found a Sean.
	I have to tighten up.
	But you have to adjust.
	People would love it, man.
	Your voice needs to be out there, I think.
	People would absolutely love it.
	There's neat guys starting one.
	Dana Carvey started one.
	He's a good human being.
	Oh, Dana Carvey's this exceptional man.
	He's a good human being.
	He's such a sweet dad, and he's a loving guy.
	And he's very, he's realistic.
	He's like respectful of everyone, but also realistic and so smart that you just have to listen to him when he talks, kind of.
	And he can drift from a story into funny, like from so real into funny, like a stream almost.
	You don't even notice it flowing.
	You know, like the guy's blood to the fucking drain, you know?
	Yeah, yes.
	Yeah.
	And he's like you say, he's a real human being.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm always rooting for Danny Carvey.
	Yeah.
	I'm always checking him, like, what's going on with Danny Carvey?
	Yeah, he's a neat guy.
	And he got it.
	He took off a show business for a while and went and just lived his life and raised his kids in San Francisco.
	Yeah.
	Did you guys work together?
	I don't even remember.
	I don't know a ton of.
	He hosted.
	He hosted when I was on Sunday Live.
	Okay.
	He couldn't have been nicer.
	Couldn't have been more giving.
	Couldn't have been.
	He was like the big brother that came.
	He was the frat brother that came.
	So let me tell you about the frat house here.
	Right.
	Oh, nice.
	And let me tell you about the ways.
	And yeah, yeah.
	So he was, he's always charming.
	And you remember those things.
	You remember when you cross people's paths, what they were.
	That's a good point.
	But I do.
	It was right after a guy like him, it was at the end of SNL, half-baked, came out, and I was just done with the whole industry.
	Really?
	I was done.
	Were you burnt out also, though, physically and stuff, do you think?
	Were you just exhausted?
	Emotionally.
	Yeah.
	Emotional.
	It was so exhausting.
	Sign It Live was.
	It was as much as the times when you're up to bat and you hit the ball in the upper deck, just to get to the plate is so exhausting.
	This one takes your idea.
	This one takes party idea and does it, but you can't say nothing because he's the one that's in the room with Lauren picking the sketches.
	And then you finally step up to this person and now you're a problem.
	And you're like, what the?
	It was, it was, and my wife, my wife, there's times when I really wanted to knock her flat on her back.
	She don't get it.
	You don't get it.
	And she'd be like, no, you don't get it.
	You don't get it.
	I can see what you don't see.
	And so I remember she was looking at me in New York City and she goes, you know, why don't you just quit?
	Are you are you, are you listening to yourself?
	You don't quit.
	You grind through, dopey.
	Are you seriously out of your mind?
	You're just nubs in a wheelchair.
	And what's her name?
	What's her first name?
	D. Yeah, D. Don't you even fucking know?
	D, you don't know shit.
	You don't quit, show it.
	I'm on top of the cake.
	You see his tattoo?
	You see his tattoo?
	It says SNL alum.
	Danny Aykroyd, Belushi, it's an alum.
	Carvey, Farley.
	I'm in it.
	I'm in the club, and you can't take those stripes off.
	I'm in it.
	Yeah.
	Millions of people trying to get me.
	I'm in it.
	There's people buying my doll.
	The people doing that in aisles right now.
	So she's going dead guys.
	A lot of dead guys die like that.
	You have a guy, a detective just sending you, hey, we got another Jim Brew impersonator over here, guys.
	Come see it.
	Look at this move over here.
	He's dropping the douche.
	And then that was it.
	Show's over.
	Stunk like a summer gun trying to keep the flies out was the tough part.
	Here's a question from a guy right here that came.
	Oh, wait, well, let's finish up.
	So Dee got you out?
	But having her perspective helped?
	Is that what you're saying or no?
	It was scary as hell.
	But her perspective has always helped on many things that have happened in my life.
	Many things that have happened.
	But she's like, look at you.
	You're smoking pot nonstop.
	You're becoming an angry person.
	And it's just, it's consuming your life.
	And you don't, you always, this one's, you're talking about stealing buttons.
	She's like, I saw it my own two eyes.
	Why do you need so bad?
	You're talented.
	Like, you don't.
	You don't.
	You don't.
	You just don't.
	Yeah.
	And we did.
	And I remember no matter who we had, we had producers, movie producers.
	She didn't kiss.
	She'd be like, I don't like that.
	That guy's an asshole.
	He made this movie and this movie.
	He's in this movie.
	He made bridges in Madison County.
	Yeah, he's an asshole.
	This guy made baby pig in the city.
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	What's this guy up to?
	Yeah, what is this fucking homeowner to do?
	And we started a family.
	Look at this guy.
	So that's the end of the story.
	And we started a family.
	And we started a family.
	Now I'm three kids deep.
	And pregnant.
	That's how it ends.
	And pregnant.
	That's right.
	That's what happened.
	It is.
	We were done with the SNL.
	Went to San Fran.
	Let's do this.
	Ta-da!
	Kid came out.
	His head was all stretched.
	It was a mess.
	Hey, man, how you doing?
	Jim, want to give a shout-out to First Off Menham High School and Chisuffy's Pizzeria, Chester, New Jersey.
	I know you're familiar with that area.
	Speaking of New Jersey, I wanted to ask you as a question.
	Give me some underrated New Jersey stand-up comics.
	I know there's so much talent in our state, and I know you got a good pulse on that.
	So give me three names that maybe we don't know about that I should be following.
	Is the stage is open there?
	Yes.
	No.
	That's a fair answer.
	Yes or no?
	Yes.
	The answer is yes, because I was doing like Tuesday nights at the Stress Factory.
	Oh, yeah.
	But he has the setup outside, which is bigger than the inside.
	And he really did it smart.
	He tented the whole thing in.
	Heat.
	I mean, it was in December.
	It was freezing.
	But the only mishap is, behind you is the parking garage.
	So, you're 15 minutes in, and there's a...
	And then...
	And I'm on my mind, I'm on my thinking.
	And you go.
	And an estalsal abuse.
	Don't forget to look at it.
	You stupid shot your face.
	What were you looking at him for?
	I wasn't looking at him.
	Okay.
	You get out of the car, you and.
	So.
	But then I just played.
	What's the place?
	It's in Red Bank.
	I played there.
	The Vogel?
	The outdoor place?
	Was it indoor?
	It was indoor.
	Yeah, the Red Bank.
	There is the Count Basie.
	Yeah, Count Basie, that's what I played at.
	But they can't do Count Basie.
	So now they have the Vogel, which was only, it was a beautiful theater within the Count Basie.
	Oh, nice.
	And so, but it was, you know, it's like 200 people.
	It's awesome for now.
	They had to wear masks.
	No.
	It was the first show I did where they have to wear a mask.
	It was awkward.
	Was it?
	Yeah, it was weird.
	You could tell they were annoyed.
	And they can't even, and what if they want to do, I guess they got no snacks, huh?
	No snacks.
	They had snacks, but they're literally, they're like, make sure, just go like that.
	Yeah.
	Because the governor lives in the town and he comes in.
	I understand you're not keeping up with the rules and regulations.
	This is for your safety.
	You don't want to kill your grandmother, do you?
	Yeah.
	I see we are at 27%.
	There will be arrests made.
	It's crazy, man.
	Yeah, I just don't understand in most people's minds because it's crazy.
	Some of the smartest people I know go along with everything that's going on here so easily.
	It's like, how do you not see so what?
	The numbers on some news channel that their only goal is to keep you watching.
	But if you drive by the hospital or if you look by, you can go to a clinic, a walk-in clinic here, there's nobody there.
	Like, how does it not weigh to people that to at least alert in their heads, something is not right here?
	I think more people know something's not right.
	I think also they're doing a real good job with the eye candy fear.
	And I'm wondering if it's going to break like when you're on the highway and everyone's afraid to pass the state trooper.
	Oh, yeah.
	Even though he's going 60. You're like, well, I can't get pulled over again 65. Yeah.
	And then the one finally does, let's follow this guy.
	Yes, I was wet.
	And As soon as you're enough, you'll go.
	I kind of feel the minute, if it ever happens, and it has to happen, where people go, We're not shutting down, but you need a couple people to do it.
	Yeah, you find me, so what?
	You can't, none of these things are laws.
	Right.
	Right.
	If you ever end up going to a court, you're going to, you're going to somehow win.
	You win.
	Yeah.
	It's scared time.
	We find you.
	So what?
	We're going to revoke you.
	Go ahead.
	Yeah.
	You can't, you don't have, you can't make the law.
	So, you know, we can talk about it all we want, but no one's doing anything.
	Right.
	And that, that's the scary part.
	But it is bizarre to me how many people will watch this and then they'll, and then they'll come after me foaming at the mouth going, you know, and their thing is always the same.
	People like you.
	Yeah.
	Are you people died?
	Yeah.
	And I feel like going, no, do you know how many people that you believe died because of what you're watching?
	Right.
	You know, I was on a podcast.
	Like, I couldn't even find a dead person.
	I bet you if you gave me two hours right now, I couldn't find a dead person from COVID.
	If I went door to door, I'm talking banging, even breaking and entering, doing anything, coming in the back door, smoking people out, doing a fire in the back, standing by the front with a net.
	I bet I couldn't, I'm serious, bro.
	I bet I couldn't find one fucking dead person.
	I haven't found one.
	I have a couple.
	First of all, I had it.
	My daughter had it.
	My wife had it.
	Another good friend, his whole family had it.
	For us, it was a cold.
	Right.
	It was a bad cold.
	Oh, yeah, I believe there's a flu.
	I believe there's a special variant of a flu going on.
	There's always a flu in the winter.
	Yeah.
	There's flus, there's colds, bronchitis.
	It's all gone.
	It's funny how all that stuff is gone.
	It's gone.
	Yeah.
	It's just gone.
	And people will hear this and be like, no, it's not me.
	But it is, though.
	If you think about all the time you heard about it, like, you just have to trust the logic of my head.
	I don't even think I'm coming from a place of judgment.
	I think I'm just coming from a real place inside of me that feels like this doesn't make sense.
	Makes zero sense.
	That's common sense.
	And what they're pushing is the whole, it's science.
	Science doesn't have common sense, but you can manipulate numbers.
	You can manipulate science to do scare tactic.
	That's the difference.
	So you can put science as your religion and as your fact or whatever.
	It still doesn't define logic.
	Yeah.
	And I'd rather die by some logic, man.
	Like my mom's, my mother's a hard work and been working her life.
	She's like, if I die, I die.
	You know, like, I don't want to be, I don't want to never see anybody the last four years of my life.
	Listen, this is a good story, but I always bring this up.
	I don't want to bum people out.
	But my wife, 2012, first time she had breast cancer.
	All right.
	Boom.
	Breasts come off.
	She's going to go on that.
	Wow.
	Breast off, huh?
	Oh, yeah.
	That whole shebiggle.
	2014, it comes back saying lymph notes.
	Got to take it out.
	Do the chemo and all that jazz.
	We are now 2016.
	End of the year.
	Hey, bad news.
	It's everywhere.
	It's everywhere, but her brain.
	What do we do?
	Well, she's got a couple months.
	We'll give her pain medicine.
	Or she can live on a trial.
	So she's been on a trial drug in Philadelphia.
	It'll be, it'll just pass four years.
	Thank you, God.
	Now, the point of that story is we've already been living the life of common sense.
	And she, too, the family and everyone else are the ones that go, you know, you got to be very careful.
	And, you know, your immune system and Jim shouldn't travel as much.
	She's like, you know what?
	No one knows when we're going to die.
	I'm not going to live recklessly, but you're not going to control my life and how I should live and the way I should live because you are scared.
	And my wife and I live the way we live.
	And when we would go somewhere, if I saw someone sick, I'd go, hey, man, don't go over there because that guy's sick.
	I'm not going to ask the whole place to wear a mask and double down because my wife...
	That's my thing.
	That's part of the, you know, if you're 400 pounds and you get the gout three times a year and you have diabetes, you got to be careful with everything.
	But back off the sugar shrimp for sure.
	Exactly.
	Whatever you're doing.
	You got to take it down a level.
	Bronchitis is going to take you out.
	A hard staircase is going to take you out.
	So this whole mentality is pure insanity.
	And it makes no sense.
	And you know what?
	I don't care about people's backlash anymore.
	I know it's right.
	I know it's in my heart of heart.
	I know what common sense.
	God gave us common sense, thought process, instinct.
	Your instinct tells you something weird is going on.
	Common sense tells you something weird is going on.
	Nobody, you can't.
	So.
	Yeah, you're right on it, man.
	You got to live your life.
	Yeah, I want to live my life.
	Not like an idiot, but you live your life.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And I want to.
	Like, that's what I want.
	It's like, I think that's the thing.
	And like, you know, a lot of people have, also the side effects of people dying or struggling from like being hurt from like addiction or not seeing their loved ones brokenhearted.
	The gay, they had a fella, beautiful fella, gay gentleman that was a piano player at the comedy store.
	And he died because a lot of people think he died just because he got so lonesome, you know?
	And that's guesstimated.
	But the guy for 25 years had been a pianist right there for the best, you know?
	My youngest daughter has put on weight.
	She's depressed.
	She hates school.
	She used to love it because she's got to wear a mask and won't let them stay together.
	It's like being in a cubicle.
	Her friends, it's the worst thing you could be doing to humanity.
	And anyone that wants to fiercely defend it, I'm ready to go at it with you.
	I don't have to tell you, you're not going to control me and the billions of people that feel the same way.
	It's over.
	And there's a lot of people that, yeah, there's a lot of people that feel the same way.
	And we just have to start speaking up in small ways.
	And also, I think they're speaking up in our actions, you know.
	Like, be respectful, but also just speak up in our actions.
	Like, that doesn't mean go out and do something bad or something aggressive.
	It just means stand your ground for what you believe also.
	Stand your ground.
	Be fearless.
	Yeah.
	Fearless.
	And, you know, I was on a podcast where I don't know.
	Who was it, Chris DeStefana?
	Fitzsimmons.
	Oh, Greg Fitzsimmons?
	Yeah, Simmons.
	Fitzdahl.
	And he's...
	I've known him a while, but he's...
	He's in it.
	Yeah.
	He's in the LA world, and he keeps going back.
	And I just kept going, hitting the ball right, don't give me that nonsense, bro.
	And he's a good guy, and we can hang forever, but he tried a little bit.
	I'm like, no, no.
	He's like, oh, you believe this?
	Like, yeah, it makes a lot of sense.
	Yeah.
	Seen it with my own eyes.
	You know, there's a guy.
	We have this crew where I live.
	And it's an amazing community that we built.
	And this is who I'm going to start bringing on my podcast.
	I don't mind being funny, but also my big struggle with you is.
	You can say it.
	I'll struggle with pornography mostly.
	I don't struggle with that.
	Oh, you don't?
	No, no, no.
	I probably did when I was younger.
	I think everybody does.
	It's a racket.
	But I'll tell you why that's bad, too.
	Oh, it's bad.
	It's horrible.
	I'll tell you why that's real bad.
	That is another oversaturated, well-targeted...
	And it's...
	You remember the first time you saw it?
	Oh, yeah.
	And when I was a drawing, this dude, Nick, in our town, $2, he would draw you some cuddle for the weekend, right?
	So you'd hit him up on Friday or Thursday night if you wanted a good sketch, right?
	But even on Friday afternoon, you could get a scribble.
	I remember this.
	And he would freaking law, you know, he'd launch you out that $2 hit, bro, and you'd keep it all weekend.
	And then somebody chiseled a set of tits into like a birch tree by us.
	And people would go out there and jerk off by it.
	Kids and adults, bro.
	Not at the same time, but you had to be respectful.
	But, you know, everybody was out there.
	I remember that.
	It was a good time.
	For me, it was Phil's dad's tape.
	Oh, Phil.
	Come on.
	And we were.
	Let's call Phil.
	Call Phil.
	And Phil.
	Dad, get his fucking 80-year-old dad on the line and talk about the lives he's ruined.
	Phil's dad's tapes ruined.
	He...
	I was...
	It's crazy.
	You look at the whole world differently.
	You look at women differently.
	You go from staring at them to staring at them.
	And you think, that's why, and if you notice, it's gotten more violent, more evil as time went on.
	This whole thing, who came up with, Smack, smack, smack.
	Who said, I love you so much?
	Smack!
	Smack!
	I love you so much.
	God, I love you.
	That is legal rape.
	And a lot of Heimlich maneuver this.
	There's all types of like, you know.
	Wait a minute.
	I got a punch in your temple right before your orgasm.
	Let me know when you...
	You said you were orgasm!
	You said you were going there!
	Come on, we gotta do this again.
	Are you sure this time?
	Good.
	It's legal rape.
	And I, yeah, it's crazy that that, and like, that, it's just, it's freaking bizarre.
	Man, it's the dark arts, dude.
	I was addicted to it for a while, and I do pretty good these days, you know, but every now and then it seeps in, man.
	You know, it's hard to keep it out.
	I will not see now when I, once I had daughters, that's another whole.
	Oh, that'd be different.
	I have three girls, so it, in my head, I'm always like, oh, God, if I do this, is it going to come back around?
	Correct.
	I'm one of those guys.
	If I do this.
	That's wiener karma, dog.
	So it is.
	But you're right.
	And I'll be like, someone's going to come in and the kid's going to be into this.
	And it all sparked, but that's how I think like that.
	That's that energy flow.
	Yeah, it could be possible.
	Here's a guy right here.
	He used to be a mime who fucking is recovering.
	He's a recovering mime.
	Look at his head.
	That's a question.
	Yeah.
	Beautiful fella.
	Like, before we even do it, I'm going to predict.
	Okay.
	It's definitely in the half-baked world.
	I could see that.
	Maybe why?
	What makes you say that?
	His eyes.
	He looks a little lit up.
	Oh, he does look a little lit up.
	He's a little lit up.
	He's pink.
	But I don't know.
	He's very confident with the shirt and hat.
	He looks like his name would be Sam.
	He seemed like he has a very, like a name that's kind of ambiguous, maybe.
	I'm going to say it's more of the Midwestern name like Trevor.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	A Trevor.
	How could he Trevor?
	Trant.
	We had a guy bus.
	Trant.
	I liked it.
	Yeah, like a Trant.
	Yeah, we had a guy bust named Brunch growing up.
	Varsity.
	What's up, Vars?
	Let's see what he's got.
	What up, Theo?
	What up, Jim Brewer?
	My name is Denny.
	I'm from Clearwater, Florida.
	Jim, I got a question for you, man.
	So I actually went to Coconuts Comedy Club and did a comedy set there on Open Mic.
	And I heard that that's where you started out doing comedy.
	So I just got a question for you, man.
	How is it getting started in comedy?
	And what do you recommend to be able to go with the time limit?
	Because the first time I did comedy, I swear to God, I lasted 30 seconds.
	And then I said, I can't do this.
	And I walked off stage.
	And the second time I did comedy, I went 30 seconds over the five limit open mic time limit.
	So, yeah, words and advice would be appreciated.
	Much love.
	Gang, gang, Theo.
	Gang, bro.
	Well, you're Carlos Mincia now.
	If you went that long, dude, you're basically your, or you're Dave Chappelle.
	You've done it, bro.
	If you went that long the second time, you're doing fine.
	Yeah, 100%.
	And yes, I used to do coconuts.
	That's kind of the first chain that started giving me lots of work.
	And yeah, a lot of them were Ramadas.
	Yeah, Ramada, dude.
	At the happy hour, it didn't matter.
	I wanted to work.
	and I was way off with that kid.
	That kid has a good soul.
	Oh, yeah, nice kid.
	They used to have, you know, people have been murdered at every Ramada.
	There's been a murder at every Ramada.
	Really?
	Now, yeah, finally.
	It took finally.
	I was waiting for the 100% because they were at 99 for a real long time.
	We were hovering.
	I'm like, when is Biloxi going to start up?
	Biloxi.
	It's right next to a Greyhound station.
	I thought it would go first.
	Come on.
	But yeah, man, pretty cool.
	There's a website that tracked it.
	There was like one of those, like a, this is like probably four years ago that there was the website finally closed down, but there was like murders at, I guess, every Ramada.
	You married?
	Uh-uh.
	I'm not married yet.
	That explains everything.
	I'm willing.
	And the reason why I say it's like, wow, if I had, because I couldn't imagine looking stuff like that up.
	But if I was alone and single, I'd be looking up some wild stuff, just dropping facts that people weren't even prepared for me to slap down.
	Are you ready for this?
	Bing!
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you know tarantulas have heavy feet.
	Like they're fucking hitting them hard.
	When you look back on some of those times, do you feel good about them?
	Like when you look back on your Hollywood times?
	I feel great about everything I did.
	Yeah.
	Because I love the journey I've been on.
	I love that the move I made, and I did have resentment for a while with a lot of things.
	I had animosity and anger.
	What was the anger about?
	Do you feel like anger is so hard to pinpoint sometimes?
	And a lot of times it has to do with myself, you know, I find.
	Because I can be angry at others, but they're just doing their thing.
	They don't fuck it, you know?
	They're just, you know.
	This was a different anger.
	I'm really, I'm one of those guys, too, where I get angry for injustice.
	Oh, yeah.
	So that infuriates me.
	That makes me want to, that makes me want to fight.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, one thing is to be fair.
	Just be fair.
	And not for me.
	There was something that was taken from me.
	And sold.
	Oh, I see, like a project or something you had.
	Yep.
	Right on.
	And given to someone, and I don't think that person even knows.
	And it blew up so big.
	Wow.
	So when I'm home with my little babies and trying to, I wanted to stay home.
	So I took a radio gig and I'm watching that.
	That was a tough period.
	And that's where, see, now I do have like a deep moral godly thing and I'm not afraid to talk about it anymore.
	So at that time, my wife, I'll never forget, she's like, Jim, as I was in my basement looking, I was like, right there, I met him and I told him.
	And then he put, he gave it, he sold it to them.
	I'm turning.
	She's like, Jim, I got $20 million.
	$20 million.
	I'm going to put this out there.
	They're going down.
	I'm coming in.
	Thief, lawyer, lawsuit.
	I was ready.
	He turned into Henry Rollins at the very end.
	The first, all that I believed until the very end.
	I feel like he turned into like Henry Rollins in Black Flag, you know?
	Yes.
	I feel like he was pretty good.
	And she goes, I'll never forget.
	She's like, Jim, let him have it.
	I said, all right, seriously, is there something wrong with you?
	There's something wrong with you?
	You don't get somebody.
	If that's all they got, they don't have what you got.
	I got.
	She's like, you got a beautiful house.
	We got a couple acres.
	You said you want to be home with your girl.
	You're home with your girls.
	You go to a radio show for two hours a day with your best friends?
	That's fun.
	Yeah, but I got this.
	Don't let them have it.
	If that's all they got, it'll catch up to him.
	Cut two.
	Five years later, this one crash, burn.
	People turn on him.
	This one plummets.
	Plummets.
	Beyond hard, to the point where I started feeling bad.
	I'm like, oh man, it's terrible.
	And the amazing part of it is, and I don't want to allude to names or anything.
	Yeah, no, and I'm not asking you to.
	But what is amazing for people, what it can help is years later, so I got to hold my dad to his last breath, which is all I ever begged.
	I said, God, please, all I want in life is I don't want that man alone.
	I want to be there for him.
	World War II vet, grew up in Newport, in Dayton, Kentucky.
	Not even the real Dayton.
	No!
	Cross the river from just 10 kids, no mother.
	I mean, as raw as you can get.
	I didn't realize my dad had that in until we saw Johnny Cash for the first time.
	You saw them together?
	Yeah, I was like 10 years old, Long Island, Westbury Music Fair.
	And he came out, did the whole, hello, I'm Jeff Brown, Dang, Dang, Dang.
	And he goes, Yee-haw!
	Yee-haw, we live in Long Island.
	He goes, I was born in Kentucky.
	I'm a Kentucky guy, Heck Williams.
	Senior, not junior.
	Junior can, senior, juniors.
	And then I started, so the point of the story is I'm all over the place, but He never complained in life.
	This man could have complained about everything.
	War for years.
	His first, he was an alcoholic, just the things he never complained.
	Always there for me.
	Couldn't, he was older, so he couldn't really interact much, but he was always there.
	Solid, never talked.
	I think I remember four conversations with my dad.
	Wow.
	But they were powerful.
	They were powerful.
	He would just step in, like you're talking about when you started playing with your donkey in the pictures.
	When I went through that phase, he saw the pictures.
	He's like, hey, hey, what are you doing?
	Let your mother see that.
	It's really disturbing.
	Enough with that.
	Enough of that shit.
	Enough with that.
	Enough of that shit.
	Hey, we're going to play your time.
	That shit's going to get you in trouble.
	Okay, dad.
	He was really old?
	He was 45 when he had me.
	My mom was 42. I was an accident.
	My mom had 22 to have a kid, so older.
	Back then.
	Right, back then.
	So my mom would tell me, she had like three martinis.
	She's like, yeah, you were supposed to be an abortion.
	Damn.
	Because they said you'd be retarded.
	That's what you were saying.
	You're like, I got pretty close, ma.
	I said, well, look at me.
	Look at it at least.
	I tried.
	I tried.
	I tried my best.
	Well, they said I beat Down syndrome in our town, man, because they thought I had it for like the first year and a half of my life.
	No kidding.
	And then they literally told my parents that I beat it, dude.
	And so it was like, it was like this kind of thing in our area.
	Wow.
	Pretty crazy.
	And so to be able to go through that in life and still have what I have now.
	I got tour what I want and my kids.
	We've found an amazing.
	I've been all over the world, my kids, all over the, I mean, Africa and Safari.
	Really?
	You've been doing fun stuff, huh?
	Oh, yeah.
	Bands I love, Metallica, ACDC.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	I mean, it's like a living dream.
	And so watching these other people crash, it was a couple years ago.
	I went to LA to promote something.
	And we already discussed how I feel about it.
	And I found this little neighborhood place.
	Crush Street was an IHOP, I don't know in the neighborhood place, really cool little hotel.
	And I went out to eat, and it was a little place up the street.
	It was almost like Mexican and pizza.
	And I was just sitting there, and this guy came up to me, one of the people.
	And I go, oh, hey.
	And he goes, hey, man.
	I just want to tell you, I really respect what you did, what you dad.
	And you made this documentary.
	And I just, I just, I respect what you do.
	And all I saw was that that was like grace and healing because if this person knew how I felt years before about this person and the other person involved, and now here they are coming back, I see where they're going and where my life is.
	And it's they're hard to get through, but you don't know the long term.
	When you stick to your thing, you just don't know.
	When you're chasing that.
	It's amazing.
	You need that balance.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that makes sense.
	100%.
	It's hard to know what the moment right now that it is part of a bigger painting.
	It's so hard to know.
	It's impossible.
	And of course, the way that we're built now with instantaneosity and doing stuff right now and this and that and Jack and Jill and doing whatever you want you could jerk off out of your pocket.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yes.
	You could get somebody to bring a Mountain Dew or you could kill some.
	There's websites you can get people killed.
	You can do it all in a second.
	There's so much like I control everything that there's never any like, I'm going to let the higher powers and the powers that be control things.
	I'm going to live in the plan, you know?
	I tell you what.
	And the more, Theo, the more I've done that in the last five, ten years where I go, you know what?
	And this is where things really shifted for me around 2008, 2009.
	And I started changing my stand-up.
	I started changing my outlook.
	I always feared that people would see me as like, oh, we like all moral and stuff.
	And it's like, I feared that.
	Why did I fear that?
	What's wrong with being that?
	Or trying to be also, it's a goal.
	It's not even a goal.
	It's just an attempt.
	Yeah, and it's a way of living.
	What's wrong with just giving goodness?
	So the minute I tapped into that and the more I said, you know what?
	Like now, I'm going out and touring.
	Yes, I want to make money, blah, blah, blah.
	But the end, I get so much more out of, I know this sounds corny, touching lives.
	It is, I've done it a lot.
	And the more I go, I'm going to do this because I want to have, you know, and I think a lot has to do with my wife.
	My wife, she goes, so she's found Jesus years ago and that was another hole.
	Right.
	Like me.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on here?
	Yeah.
	Like it was boom.
	It was a powerful story, but just, I didn't see it coming.
	Well, it's also when people go, and that experience for people, it's their own experience, finding a higher power, finding a faith, that kind of thing.
	It's there.
	So even if you're, like, it's such a personal experience that it's hard to really kind of share with somebody in a lot of ways and for them to kind of.
	And you're instantly judged.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, especially these days, dude.
	Yeah, you're a freak or, you know, you think they're like, ah, and she's nothing like that.
	Yeah.
	You know, she'll do things like this.
	She'll go, I get on the Metallica.
	I'm pouring with Metallica.
	Yeah.
	For me, that was a legend.
	Yeah, that was the first one.
	This is the greatest.
	This is the greatest.
	This is better than any sitcom.
	Yeah.
	I don't want to be in the movies.
	I'm pouring with my Metallica guy.
	Are you kidding me?
	Yeah.
	So, and you guys are out there, right?
	Who's the other opening band?
	And also.
	There is none.
	Fuck.
	I'm the opener.
	That's crazy, dog.
	But before you worked with Metallica, had you worked with a band and it didn't work?
	Because you know it never works for anyone.
	No.
	I did a little something in front of Alice and Chains once because it made me go up less.
	They were like, come on.
	Down in a hole.
	But before we get to that.
	Down in a hole.
	Before we get to that.
	Ah!
	They were so good, man.
	Was that Perry Farrell?
	No, who was in that?
	No, no, no.
	Chains Addiction.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	This is a one-year-old birthday party at Perry Farrell's house, dude.
	A friend of mine, they knew the family or whatever, so we went over there for his one-year-old's party.
	And me and Perry were to fucking sit in the library just, and literally, I could not understand one word that he said.
	He was describing different books to me on the shelf.
	Bro, I had no idea what was going on.
	That's Jane's addiction, too.
	They came on Santa Live, and I'll never forget this.
	I was so hopped up.
	So they did the first song, and they were damaged.
	Damaged.
	So in between, they're like, I'll never forget, I'm hanging out.
	And they go, he goes, Perry goes, can we do that song over?
	And the producer goes, it was live.
	Matter of fact, your second song is cut.
	They're the first band.
	I got their second song cut.
	Cut.
	They just.
	Because they were so ripped.
	Now I have to go look at it.
	Watch the first time they were on Sunday Live.
	It was between 95 and 98. And they did this.
	Look it up, son.
	Bang, bang, bang, bang.
	And when they were finished, I just remember going, I'm going to do that again.
	They went, nah, you're done.
	You're done for the night.
	You're out.
	Show's over.
	That was live.
	Let's see this guy.
	We'll come on back.
	We're all.
	All right, let's see what this guy's doing right here.
	This is Jimmy John right here.
	Jimmy John was on here, John Lao Taud.
	He's from Illinois.
	I love how you do this.
	The guy who started Jimmy John's.
	This is really cool.
	Wait, what?
	Does this guy start Jimmy Johnson?
	No, the guy who started Jimmy John's was on here.
	This guy resembles him very much.
	Oh, okay.
	Okay.
	All right.
	What's up, Theo?
	The legend Jim Brewer.
	What's going on?
	This is Matt in South Florida.
	Jim, I've admired you for God knows how long.
	You have shared so much of your life throughout your career, especially the stories on The Stern Show.
	You've left no stone unturned in terms of your transparency.
	But anybody who knows you knows that you're probably one of the more admirable people in this world.
	The care that you gave your father, even when he was going through those difficult times, was definitely remarkable to see.
	What's one piece of advice you would give to somebody who does have a special relationship with their father or parent in general and maybe hears those later years in life, you know, knowing that they want to care for him, but knowing what's coming next?
	Hopefully we can all meet it as gracefully as you did and obviously have a special relationship like you did.
	So thanks for listening.
	Gang gang.
	Gang bro.
	Where does this air?
	It'll probably go to tomorrow, but we could do it whenever.
	Okay, well, it doesn't matter.
	So I won't say the hotel I'm at.
	So the hotel I'm at, this just happened last night.
	I cut my, I have a cut in here and my nail is slitty here.
	So I called downstairs.
	I'm like, do you have a nail clipper?
	And they're like, no, darling, we ain't got one.
	And Walgreens is closed.
	Let me look for like a scissor.
	I said, I got a cut, you guys.
	Oh, dark, just come down here.
	Let's take a look.
	This is the front desk.
	This is why I love the South.
	So come down there, and she's like, you need a pinky condom till tomorrow, and you go get you.
	But there was another guy, and I don't know if he was the janitor or whatever, because he didn't look like he was checking for the fire.
	He probably loitering, but yeah.
	He's always there.
	He's always there.
	He's behind it.
	He's worked his way behind the front desk person.
	Oh, whoever that is?
	About a X-Roxer?
	Yeah, he's already worked his way behind him.
	The guy in there who just hears the bell.
	Yeah, right.
	So he comes and he goes, Jim, same thing.
	He goes, man, I love, I watched that stuff you did with your dad.
	He goes, I'm going through this right now.
	Wow.
	And the best advice I tell people is the hardest thing we go through in life is watching our parents struggle because they're your rocks.
	They're your idols.
	They're your source of power.
	They're invincible.
	And his father was only 66 years old, which is still young.
	And he said he got in a terrible accident, smashed his head.
	It wasn't his fault.
	He was horseback riding.
	He was in a horseback race.
	No, he was sitting.
	I still don't get it.
	He was in a Civil War reaction.
	And it was, okay?
	You're part of a vote.
	Oh, man, I said not that rifle.
	That's the real one.
	Cheddar, damn.
	What's wrong with you?
	Sorry, Billy, all right?
	He's bleeding bad.
	Yeah, he's bleeding bad, dude.
	He's bleeding bad, dad.
	It's always, I'm going to go out on limb and say 80% of people in CWRs are father-sons, baby.
	Yeah, you're right.
	So he goes, and I still, there was part of me wanting to ask this question because I still kind of, all I heard was his father was sitting down and someone was undoing the hitch on the car or the truck and the hitch smashed his head.
	And I couldn't visualize and I wasn't going to deal.
	I'm like, well, all right, so what happened?
	He goes, he was, so he's damaged and he still can't remember.
	He's done.
	He can't walk.
	I'm like, whoa, your dad's a fried egg.
	So he goes, and he slowly start, I said, you know what the worst part is when you start, oh, he goes, you know, he's kind of pissing all over.
	And I'm like, is he, I go, you know what the toughest thing for me was?
	The dry heaves.
	My father dropped a deuce and I'm like, a huge dry heave.
	My neck would hurt.
	Is it because it's also your father's excrement you think?
	I mean, hard.
	And you know, but what I realized was the minute they can't drive, I try to explain to this guy, I went, listen, the best thing you could do taking care of anyone is you have to remove all selfishness.
	This is really getting in my way.
	I ain't got time for this.
	I'm really big.
	This is not a good timing in my life.
	This is not blah, blah, blah.
	Because that's what happens.
	It's really hard to put that aside.
	Well, my sister should do it.
	I put this to it.
	Maybe we can hire someone to do it.
	They are, they reach a point you got to understand.
	The last thing you want in life is now I can't drive.
	Now I can't go to the bathroom myself.
	And they don't want to let you know.
	I mean, before this happened, you said your father was driving around.
	Damn.
	Well, now he's got to.
	Can you go get me.
	Do you mind just going to get a couple things from the grocery store?
	He's feeling that depression.
	He knows he's going to die.
	So you got to put yourself.
	I'll never forget.
	I was coming home from...
	I love that.
	Public.
	I hear great stories, but I found the humor in it.
	You got to laugh at it.
	And one of the last ones was we were just got off the plane.
	He looked at me.
	He's like, I got to go.
	And the minute he said he'd go, which meant he went.
	So it was one of them tiny planes.
	I get him off.
	I'm dry heaving.
	I get him into the United President's Club.
	I said, I need to get out of here, bro.
	I need some.
	We can't do this.
	This ain't going to happen.
	It ain't going to happen.
	So we get in there and I'm dry heaving and I had an extra pair of sweatpants.
	And I just remember him looking at me defeated.
	And he said, you're never going to bring me around again, are you?
	We're never going to travel anymore.
	It hit me so hard.
	And I just went, no, we're going to travel.
	I'm just not going to feed you until we get to where we're going, man.
	I can't feed you.
	I can't have anything in your system.
	I'm going to starve you hard.
	Did he laugh?
	Yeah, he laughed, but he wasn't a laugher.
	He'd just go like this.
	That was him laughing.
	That was me crushing with my dad.
	But the best thing is put your life into there.
	You don't know where they're at mentally.
	So all you got to do is constantly cheer.
	I used to get my dad, once he couldn't drive, gave up on life.
	Wouldn't shower, wouldn't shave.
	So I'd have to turn on some Hank Williams and Johnny Cash.
	And I'd make it a whole, I didn't know what a barbershop was, so I'd set up like a barbershop in his bathroom.
	And I'd be driving him nuts, busting his balls.
	I'm like, oh, I caught you.
	He'd be like, David, God, God, I'm funny.
	Oh, my God, Dad, this is bad.
	I used to fuck with him like really bad.
	But we needed that.
	We needed, I'd scrub his ass.
	I'm like, dad, you think I like scrubbing your ass?
	Like, ew, you got shit way up in there.
	Would y'all be in the shower together?
	No, God, no.
	I couldn't do that.
	Now I've stepped in with him.
	Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, bro.
	Teamwork.
	I like getting.
	Yeah.
	And I'm like, because when they get older, they can't wipe their ass.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's hard now.
	Exactly.
	So I'm at that age, too.
	And I'm like, well, I got to wipe my ass again.
	And I go around back a lot of times.
	I always go around back.
	You do?
	Yeah.
	Wow, I just started doing that.
	What do you mean?
	Yeah, I went hold the nuts up frontward for a long time.
	Oh, damn, you come this way?
	Wow, I never went that way in my life.
	Really?
	I don't want him a nut.
	No.
	Well, you just stop before your nuts.
	Oh, that's crazy.
	That way as much as possible.
	But that's such a six-year-old move still doing it fast enough, I feel like.
	And I have a big butt, so to go around my butt is tougher.
	And I have short arms, big butt.
	Wait a minute.
	So you coming up here?
	What if you missed it?
	Yeah, you don't miss.
	I mean, it's really...
	you kind of scoot up on the bowl.
	It's really practical to me, honestly.
	Look, you know, we recently got the website done, and the fella that did it, fella I grew up with, named Timmy, beautiful guy.
	Beautiful, slender fella, about six foot, six foot one, probably six, one, maybe six, one and a half.
	But anyway, he has a company called Modify, and they do websitery.
	They're good people over there.
	Our website is looking better than ever.
	It was effortless, quick, like magic.
	Modify now has the last website plan.
	It's the best option out there for any business that doesn't want to do it themselves.
	You can't do the HTML and drag and drop and this and that.
	Next thing you know, you'll be back to the business card.
	Modify's last website plan really seems to be too good to be true, but it's not.
	No cost to build, no contract, unlimited updates, unlimited support, custom design, easy editing tools, future redesigns, all of that, all of that, for just $249 a month.
	The best part is, they do it all for you.
	To learn more about the last website you'll ever need, visit modify.com slash Theo to schedule your free demo today.
	That's Modify with a PH.
	M-O-D-I-P-H-Y.com slash T-H-E-O.
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	It's time.
	It's time.
	You know, my dad was 70 when I was born.
	My dad was really old, and he was an older man.
	So just hear you talk about stories about your dad.
	Yeah, my dad was born in 1910, right?
	What?
	Crazy, bro.
	Crazy.
	My first jokes were all about growing up with like an old dad and like.
	Oh my gosh.
	See, I thought mine was 23. Yeah.
	1923.
	1910.
	Yeah, it was crazy, man.
	But it's just interesting, like, like, I think just the things like I would get, I felt, I feel bad as I got older.
	I was embarrassed to my dad a lot.
	Just like the way his skin would look, like, just little things.
	Like, he'd fall asleep at the game.
	Like, he'd fall asleep.
	Dude, my dad bought a car off of some black guys in our neighborhood.
	And so he had this car that had these 22s in it, this Delta Cutlass 88 or something, but it had these 22 speakers in the back of it, right?
	So he'd be listening to like Paul Harvey, like, you know, like, Paul Harvey, good day!
	Just at the fucking loudest bass you could have, just dead asleep in the fucking carpool line, bro.
	We'd have to walk down to the car to get in, and the teacher knew we were so embarrassed, dude.
	And it was just fucking, sometimes we would make him drive and walk down the block and then get in.
	Like, I don't know.
	Sometimes I still have like this weird shame from, like, just, I just wasn't in a space to be loving.
	I was just like a, like a kid, you know?
	You didn't know?
	I didn't know my dad World War II and all that.
	Like, I didn't, he would say to me, he's like, I ran a big one when I was eight or nine.
	I'm like, whoa, what does that mean?
	Yeah.
	And even when you learn in school, you don't, you don't comprehend.
	And he'd watch the war things.
	Like, I'm not comprehending what's going on.
	You have to get older.
	That's another thing about just like the big picture of life.
	Like, that's one thing I feel bad when people die young because you just don't get to see like how it all kind of adds up and it all the balance sheet all averages out.
	Yeah.
	And sometimes I wonder, at least this is the only way it works in my mind, where if someone died, I've had people in my life die young and it's actually empowered a certain amount of people, their spirit empower.
	Like it happened for me.
	Like it really empowered me in a lot of ways.
	A dear friend of mine.
	What happened to him?
	Who was he?
	She died.
	It was a she, and we were best friends.
	It was Florida.
	It was before I went full-blown into stand-up.
	And she kept saying, you need to do stand-up.
	And she liked me, but I didn't realize she really liked me.
	And we lived right next door to each other, but I was lost in Florida.
	I mean, I grew up in Long Island, and we grew up like brothers and sisters on the same street our whole lives.
	And we were brothers and sisters.
	And even when Phil's dad's tape broke out, we were like, now we're playing truth or dare.
	And then my parents are, we just bought a house in Florida.
	What?
	And then I go down there and people talk different.
	And there's no, I'm like, well, you just stripped me of my life.
	So she was kind of a saving grace.
	She was from Boston.
	And she was, we were bickering over something happened.
	I won't go into details.
	And then long story short, I saw her one night.
	I actually, I was like, God, man, if there's an opportunity to talk to her, I don't like this feeling.
	I want to talk to her.
	And sure enough, after about two and a half weeks, she was sitting in a breezeway as I pulled in late at night and went over and like, hey, I'm sorry.
	You know, I miss you.
	I love you.
	And we talked for hours.
	And she basically told me like it was all her things were closed.
	And she's like, you know, I couldn't go to the prom.
	And now I was on the beach and I met this guy from Boston that I went to school with.
	And he just moved down here.
	And he asked me the prom.
	And oh my God, it's amazing.
	And I gave her this kiss.
	And next day she's like, tomorrow I got photography class.
	You want to go?
	And I didn't want to go.
	So I purposely was like a little late so I can be like, hey, Mary.
	And I got home.
	She died of car crash.
	But that, it was weird.
	It was, and that was the beginning of when I went to the funeral.
	It was very, you know, she was a senior in school.
	You were a senior in high school.
	I'm 19. And so she, I remember being at the funeral and going, wow, this is, this is not the way, this is weird.
	So I went outside with a couple friends.
	I was like, this is not what she would want right now.
	She wants me to do comedy.
	She wanted, blah, blah, blah.
	And I started making everyone laugh and started imitating what you'd be saying to us right now and what we would be doing.
	And everyone started laughing.
	And then I stopped and went, oh, this is not cool because now everyone's coming outside and this ain't cool.
	This ain't cool.
	And they went, no, no, no, don't stop.
	Keep going.
	And then it was weird.
	That's powerful.
	Because somebody's gone.
	And there's this power of like, of being like a valve release in a weird way.
	It was.
	And then I stopped at her grave before, and I would talk to her all the time.
	I don't even smoke, but she'd smoke and I'd have a cigarette.
	And I went to her grave before he left.
	I'm like, hey, man, I didn't realize how much he loved because her mom gave me these poems she wrote about me.
	I was like, oh, wow.
	And one of them was like, if I can't have him, I'd rather just not be here and I can love him from a deeper place.
	Oh, wow.
	So I went to the grave and I went, hey, Kirsten, I just want to, Kirsten, I want to tell you, look out for me.
	Do your best.
	I'm not sure I'll ever meet anyone that loved me the way you loved me.
	And I know I'm going to make it.
	I'm going to make it.
	I'm going to be a star.
	I pray to God I meet a girl before that because I want her to fall in love with me and not the star.
	I go, I know you're going to be looking after me and blah, blah, blah.
	And it was also weird stuff at her the day of the funeral.
	We went back to the house.
	Everyone's crying and stuff.
	And I went outside and I was like, I can't believe.
	I hope you're okay.
	And I looked up, dude, it was this, it was clear as day.
	It was a freaking rainbow and a circle directly above her house.
	So I went in.
	I'm like, you guys got to look at it.
	And we all look.
	It was just wacky moment.
	Now, of course, other people are like, well, yeah, because on those particular days, there's particles.
	And that's why in the science set.
	Don't kill my moment.
	Yeah.
	For you, it's that.
	For me, it's something else.
	Yeah, for me, it's a little bit of magic.
	It's a fucking loose care bear out there.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	For me, it's something else, bro.
	Take it easy.
	Yeah.
	I'm not shoving on you.
	I'm just telling you how I felt.
	I'm giving you a book and going, shut your, run, don't kill my magic, bro.
	A lot of people want to kill your fucking magic.
	They want to kill the magic.
	Because they got none.
	They got none.
	Bro, I'll tell you what, dude.
	It was so scary when young people died, man.
	Well, now I forgot where we were going with this.
	No, go on.
	I interrupted you.
	No, no, no.
	What the hell was I even talking about?
	Why was I saying this?
	I don't know, bro.
	You were talking about.
	Was she your first kiss, you think, that girl?
	No, I didn't kiss her.
	You didn't?
	Never kissed.
	Wow, just friends, huh?
	That's beautiful.
	We were deep friends.
	And, oh, powerful on the other side.
	I don't even know where I was going, but I'll tell you, it's perception.
	You know, when my dad died, that was the toughest loss for me.
	And after he died, dude, I'm sitting, this is crazy.
	This is, and these are stories like I was afraid to tell, but I was like, you know what?
	It happened.
	I'm in my living room.
	You know those cries when you're like, your mouth is open?
	Yeah.
	It's almost like primordial.
	I call it the primal cry.
	And, you know, I pray, I'm like, God, you know what?
	What happens?
	I don't know what happens.
	You know, my wife thinks you'll see Jesus.
	I don't know.
	Who the hell knows?
	So I'm just asking, like, do you feel it?
	Like, is it an energy?
	Do we become a plant?
	Like, what happened?
	Or just, is it nothingness?
	Are we in space?
	Are we a thought?
	Like, what happens?
	Yeah.
	And I'm going, I wish I could just feel his energy.
	Dude, all my kids' lives hope they die from lying.
	I start here.
	And it's non-stop.
	And I look in the net, and there's this freaking bird flying into the window.
	He's like, bink.
	He's going like this.
	He's beaking.
	And I'm looking at him.
	And he looked like your dad?
	He looked like that.
	But I sit there at the end of going, like, dad?
	Like, what's going on, dude?
	So I talk myself out of it.
	This is too weird.
	This is crazy.
	Every time I walk away, he's saying, we do it again.
	This bird, for a year and a half, every day would start in the room where my dad died, right?
	And then he'd go around the house and go to that same window.
	Every day was a cardinal.
	Now people are like, you know, a cardinal is an angel.
	And this migration pattern they do.
	But then you got my father-in-law.
	He's like, Jesus Christ, it's a male bird.
	And he sees his reflection.
	He's trying to kill it.
	It's not your father.
	You die.
	We go in the grave.
	It's over.
	I'm like, ah, don't kill it, man.
	Don't kill it.
	So now this thing becomes a joke.
	It really becomes a joke because, you know, the kids would start talking to them, Grandpa.
	Grandpa's here.
	It's weekend.
	You can't be knocking on the window at 6.30 in the morning.
	I want to sleep on the weekend.
	Not cool.
	And then this is, but this is the weird part.
	This is weird.
	This thing lasted, it showed up in October, made a whole year through October, all the way the following March.
	It's still going.
	My wife and the kids, we go to Turks and Caicos.
	And then we go there for vacation.
	We see them.
	That's a little bit of money.
	No, I'm going to lie.
	I've done all right.
	So all my money is, it's not in my bank.
	It's in my kids' heads from private schools.
	And it's in Africa and Australia and Belize.
	It's all over the place.
	It's underwater scuba diving.
	Whale sharks.
	It's everywhere.
	They're like, dad, we're broke and you show them a picture of them on fucking Kilimanjaro Base Camp.
	Here's another 100K.
	That zebra was worth every 100K cost.
	So, yeah, that D minus my kid gets in private school.
	That's my house on the beach right there.
	Bang.
	So with the, which is why Jim Brew is on the comedy club tour.
	Yeah.
	I wasn't thinking long term.
	No salary for a year?
	How much money we got left?
	Oh my God.
	Start fucking comedy clubs.
	Are you sure?
	Yes.
	How much for a show?
	$2.
	Buck it.
	Fucking Schneider just did 14 shows here last week.
	I saw that.
	It's crazy.
	Saloon Fishing.
	I want to talk about Schneider.
	Tersey Keikos, primal cry.
	Bro, all my kids' lives.
	This is weird.
	I go, you know what?
	And I talk just like that.
	I went, you know what?
	I've been holding on to you too long.
	This is wrong for me to hold on to you.
	This is what not.
	I'm letting you go.
	I'm so sorry that I've been crying like this.
	I'm so sorry.
	I'm always sad when I think of you.
	From now on, I'm going to laugh my ass off.
	I'm going to think of you because he was funny.
	My dad was dark, funny, and sexually.
	Everything was a sex joke.
	Yeah.
	Everything.
	Oh, yeah.
	Non-stop.
	You know, my mom would try to go to, if we go to a wedding, which he hated.
	Yeah.
	Hated church.
	So the minute the priest was like, he's like, yeah, I went with no pants on.
	Jam, for crushing, asshole.
	If I wear a stupid hat, man, what the fuck?
	He just wants your money, this asshole.
	He just wants some money as some kid titty, you know?
	Throwing him under the bus.
	Bro, I would bring him by SNL and he, you weren't talking about embarrassment?
	You weren't talking about embarrassment.
	I'm surprised Paul Abdul hasn't coming out of the woodwork and try to sue me because of my dad's actions.
	I will never forget.
	Never forget.
	My dad, once he got comes up, Paul Abdul sitting on his lap and he turns around and he's gone.
	He's looking at me.
	He's like, can you handle this?
	Yeah.
	Can you handle that?
	Yeah, I can.
	She's like, I love him.
	He goes, you want to play puppy?
	And I'm like, dad, no.
	No.
	Not the puppy.
	And what is it?
	And she's like, what's the puppy?
	I'm like, no, no, no, please, not cool.
	You got to remember he's 80-something years old.
	She's like, no, I want to hear it.
	He goes, that's when I sniff your ass and you just growl.
	I went, oh my God.
	She laughed her up.
	So just to let you know.
	Yeah, he was a wild guy.
	He's ways in the jungle for three years, killing a big kill.
	Yeah, I'd smell anybody's ass.
	If I'm in a jungle for fucking three years, dude.
	Smell your ass.
	If your heart breaks down for an hour, I'll fucking smell you.
	You just growl?
	That's old school.
	I used to have cocaine to do that.
	But the military, I think, was cocaine just into a lot of people's systems.
	It was just this, you know, when they went through some real wars, it just made whatever.
	Like, let's just do whatever, you know?
	My dad would always say World War II, I said, what was, because he would not talk about whatsoever.
	And whenever I really pried him, he'd go, thank God for the Hillbillies.
	Like, why?
	Because they knew how to make alcohol out of anything.
	Anything.
	They make alcohol, anything.
	I give them a foot, and they know how to make alcohol out.
	Really?
	And you just don't even think about things like that.
	Like, one of these rednecks knows how to make booze.
	Yeah.
	Hey, get me four leaves and a coconut.
	We're going to be hammered on Thursday.
	We're going to get through this.
	So I let him go.
	All right.
	And so you really had almost like a, like, I'm letting a spirit go.
	I'm letting you go.
	I'm letting your spirit got held on to too long.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	And so now I'm testing myself.
	I'm looking at old people because if I saw someone in a wheelchair, I'd start sobbing.
	If I saw old people, I'd go, oh, God.
	So now I'm purposely looking for old people.
	And I'm okay.
	Now I'm starting to laugh.
	And it's working.
	So we go home.
	And we're unpacking the car.
	And my father, I swear to God, dude, I have nothing to sell here.
	I'm just telling you what happened.
	We go in the house.
	And my father-in-law goes, hey, you know, the kitty litter's done for the cats.
	He goes, but that, the bird's gone.
	Everyone knew the bird.
	The bird's gone.
	Ghoulemi's gone.
	The middle of the week, he just stopped coming around.
	And I sat down like this and I started laughing.
	And he goes, what's so funny?
	I went, you don't understand.
	I let my dad go.
	You don't think that's weird that this bird every day showed up when I asked him?
	He goes, oh, for Christ's sake, it migrates.
	Jesus Christ, Jimmy.
	What the hell is wrong with you?
	My daughter's getting into you.
	Stop with that shit.
	No, God, no, G. We just die and the bird comes and goes.
	It had nothing to do with your father.
	But that's the power of its perception.
	It's not to be debated.
	That's my...
	You're like, oh, it's supposed to be.
	And even my wife will go, well, it's not, hey, don't, don't.
	I don't care what it says here.
	I mean, I care and all that, but I'm just telling you what I did and this happened.
	That's my own thought, my own feeling.
	Yeah, the magic, sometimes it's easy for people to kill the magic, man.
	It's easy for all the words and the literature and all the extra information.
	I got a story.
	Are we talking to this guy?
	Am I too long, man?
	Oh, you're good, man.
	I'll tell you a story, Jim.
	So I'm down in Orange County, and they used to have a church there, and they ended up stealing a lot of people's money and whatever.
	But before that, yeah, but before that.
	It's crazy.
	Dude, I knew when the guy came out in like six robes on a fucking like golden thing.
	Bro, I remember I went to their church service once.
	They had real camels, real, you know, they had real like illegal aliens.
	They had real slaves at the manger.
	I'm like, this is a lot.
	You know what I'm saying?
	We're going to crush it this Christmas Eve.
	Hard.
	And we're going to charge a mission.
	Oh, they did.
	And we're going to.
	Do you know how hard it was to get these camels?
	Dude, one of the camels defecated on the steps, bro.
	And people had to go up and down it the whole night to get on the stage.
	So anyway, they busted this church, but one day I'm over there.
	I swear to God, I'm trying to be quiet.
	Crystal Cathedral, bring it up, will you?
	Well, this is why Sean Sean's almost fucked up.
	The reason why I'm laughing is my wife goes to church.
	Huh?
	And they did the same thing three years ago on a freaking camera.
	And this church is small.
	It's not a big church.
	It's a bad idea.
	And this thing dropped the deuce right under a camel.
	Bitch, sheep.
	Yeah, you can't camel a small church.
	Here's Crystal Cathedral right here, and this is in Orange, California.
	And the walls would open up.
	Oh, that's big.
	Oh, this thing was huge.
	And so, yeah, so in the back there, that's all glass.
	And then on the right, if you know, go back to that picture if you don't mind, Sean.
	Nope.
	Right there.
	If we can zoom in on that or get it bigger.
	Yeah, so on the right there where it's kind of open, that's actually the wall opens up.
	And yeah, the walls open like that.
	It's just the way it's built.
	I mean, it was a nice inexpensive homeless people.
	That's the man right there, Robert Schuller.
	Oh, yeah, he's famous.
	Bobby Schuller, yeah.
	And his daughter, I think, might have been a lesbian, but beautiful braun, really talented, I thought.
	But anyway, so I'm sitting there.
	There's this lady sitting next to me.
	The doors open up.
	A butterfly comes in, right?
	Comes in, lands on this woman's cheek.
	She's probably about 85, maybe.
	Lands on her cheek.
	Thick makeup, right?
	Can't move, you know?
	And I'm sitting right next to her.
	And I'd already been kind of just chatting with her.
	You know, it's church, you know, it's really.
	Right.
	You say hey, especially if you see an older person.
	You look fantastic.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you look great.
	Yeah.
	Oh, you're only 85?
	Wow.
	You look 79. You look 78. I'm so pleased I met you.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So like that, yeah.
	Oh, wow.
	You have soft hands.
	Oh, you seem like you're going to die soon.
	Things like that.
	You know, just things that go through your head.
	You got a good three months.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's going to be a good three months.
	Yeah, you're going to do fine.
	She goes, I said, oh, ma'am, I said, there's a butterfly on your cheek, you know?
	And she goes, oh, that's my son.
	He died in a car accident six years ago today.
	And every year, today, he comes and visits me at church.
	And I was like, it blew my mind, bro.
	I'm not even, I got to go look through my phone.
	I took pictures of me sitting there like this.
	And I would just, it blew my mind.
	Like, she was not concerned.
	And it stayed there the whole service and then jetted out, you know?
	And I don't think that that's like Elon Musk, you know, doing early trial shit.
	I believe that that's something.
	I do too.
	It's just a piece of energy that was just wanted to spend time with her.
	Listen, there is energy.
	I think about this sometimes.
	Me and you, if we have a chemistry and we're talking, there's an energy there.
	There's an energy.
	Where's the energy come from?
	Does it come from somewhere higher?
	Do we create it?
	No one knows.
	Science can't create all that stuff.
	You know, here's a, I remember you talking about seeing the long term, something that just taught me the long term.
	I have a, you know, my mom's side of the family, four different men, and we don't know who the one, my one sister's dad ever was.
	She dated and met a lot of men?
	My parents are different.
	My dad, zero.
	I mean, he would tell me, he's like, wow, we used to have a lot of turtle soup and possum pie.
	And I thought he was kidding.
	And then I realized he wasn't.
	Yeah, wow.
	When I see all the brewers together, they're like, remember Pa would make you go along the tracks, Jim, and if you didn't come with the right amount of buckets, now he's five, granted, and he just whoop your ass.
	We felt so bad.
	You didn't get bred that night.
	Rear rural.
	And I'm like, what?
	Come on.
	Now she meets, now he ends up with my mom who grew up in Greenwich Village.
	Oh, fancy.
	Big fancy, but then her world came crashing down.
	She lost her dad.
	She lost her husband while she had a kid.
	And today, the mom kicked her out.
	So she spiraled out of control.
	Abusive, horrible relationships.
	Like my stepfamily side, horrifying.
	Just horrifying.
	Where I came along, like, my life kicks ass.
	Yeah.
	And so it did.
	It freaking kicked.
	I didn't know any of that.
	We were blue collar, but we still, it was just amazing.
	So, damn, where's that going with this, man?
	See, what happens when you start hitting it?
	Well, I started talking about that lady landed, the butterfly landed on the lady's cheek at the thing.
	Yeah.
	And then you.
	Oh, oh, I know what I was going to say.
	So the long term, we were talking about before, because you don't know the long plans or the grace in life.
	This is another crazy story.
	Let's do it.
	So my nephew, my nephew had a tough run.
	Black hair, mixed or what was he?
	No, dad.
	Dad left.
	He was a heroin addict.
	And my sister, my sister, God rest her soul.
	She died 59, same year my dad died.
	But she was great soul, but never got over the trauma.
	Of your father?
	Of just her life.
	Of her life.
	Of what her dad did to her.
	So this is, she was on the freight train, you know, whatever she wants.
	You're just trying to kill the pain.
	But her kids, her one son, he's going to either be dead or he's going to be in prison.
	And she'd always say, like, Jimbo, he looks up to you like a, but I was 10 years old than him.
	Like, I can't.
	And when I went after my dream, we were living in Florida.
	I was petrified to leave him.
	Your nephew?
	Yeah.
	Because I knew.
	I was 22. He was 12. And what's his name, Ronnie or something?
	Steve-O.
	Steve-O'Zha.
	And I went, you saw it coming.
	Cops started coming.
	You know, he's broken some places, spray-painted up.
	Suppose anger.
	Exactly.
	Oh, yeah, I feel you, bro.
	Yeah, the pants are down.
	He's going there.
	He's going there.
	Sure enough, off to camp.
	The bad camp.
	This ain't local.
	This is state.
	Oh, wow.
	So he'd write me while I was on SNL, and I was shocked he was still alive.
	And I'd send him a little stuff of hope, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Time for him to get out.
	Now I'm in New Jersey.
	Got a beautiful home.
	My wife's pregnant, two kids.
	And we start going.
	He can't go back home.
	He's going to go right back in.
	It's going to get worse at home.
	He can't go back to his environment.
	So he's got to come here.
	He's got to come.
	His own chance.
	So we bring him here.
	You're going to talk about a movie.
	Yeah.
	So he comes.
	I'll never forget the first thing he does.
	I sent a car to pick him up.
	Oh, fat news.
	I sent a car to pick him up.
	The car picks up.
	He gets out of the car.
	He's got wife beater.
	He's six foot four.
	I saw him as a little pudgy teenager.
	Wow.
	And he's inked on one side of his body.
	He gets out of the car and he squats.
	He's like, what's up, Uncle Jim?
	And he lights a cigarette and he's squatting on the curb like that.
	And my wife and I looked at it.
	He's like, ah, maybe this is a bad decision.
	So long story short, it becomes the greatest story of our lives.
	It was a lot of trial and error, a lot of problems, a lot of time.
	But we realized we had a lot of work to do with him.
	Was it hard to love him?
	Was it hard to love him through all the mistakes and stuff?
	No, for us, it was easy because all I did was I kept reminding him, like, listen to me.
	You don't understand.
	Nobody wants, like, I had such backlash.
	You can't do this.
	You have kids.
	And rightfully so.
	I didn't tell anyone in the neighborhood.
	I just told my family and they were full-blown.
	You can't do this.
	Yeah.
	Not now.
	I said, you don't understand.
	He's going to be dead.
	They're like, you know what?
	That's not your problem.
	Yeah.
	You got everything going for you.
	That's mom's problem.
	Yeah.
	And my wife and I are like, I don't know, man.
	So we had him there.
	And the thing that broke him was, so I'd say, like, listen, you don't understand.
	All I get out of this is that you become a good person and you're able to do your own thing.
	I go, if once I'm gone, you're screwed.
	You need to learn just basic life.
	And that was through some things he was going through.
	He was still hanging out with a yo-yo and he got pulled over.
	He was like, oh, they caught me.
	I'm like, oh, my God.
	Of course they caught you because your hat's backwards, getting high through an area that nobody under a million dollars lives.
	And the cops got nothing to do.
	Like, look at this dumb bitch with tending windows.
	You don't live here, dude.
	He wants to step out of the cart.
	That happened to me when I first met him.
	It happens to everybody.
	Of course.
	So the kids broke him.
	I'll never forget.
	This is like a movie, man.
	And I always said I write it, but I'm like, I write it.
	That would be a good movie.
	It would be.
	He's sitting at the kitchen table.
	And you got to see him.
	He's red neg as hell.
	Funny as shit.
	Funny.
	Funny.
	We'll only vacation with Uncle Steve-O and his wife and children now.
	We don't want to vacation whenever we want.
	We're so much love.
	He's sitting there one day, this big tough, and he starts crying at the kitchen table.
	Like, what's amazing?
	I ain't never had this.
	Like, I had what?
	This.
	What, omelets?
	You ain't never had an omelette.
	Let me tell you something.
	I'm just joking.
	No, no, no.
	But the time you say that, after three weeks, like, I want to make you a meal.
	Swear to God.
	He made a prison meal.
	He said they need cheese nips?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, cheese nips, the square cheese nips.
	He needed them.
	He needed cheese doodles, noodles, and he would explain.
	He's like, this was like, it would take months to get these products.
	This is a wedding cake.
	This was huge in the penitentiary.
	And it was, three bites weren't.
	But just, you know, we're looking at each other like, let him live this.
	This is a big, it's like the cat bringing a dead animal.
	This is for you.
	Thank you.
	I love how you just spread the guts out.
	That was very kind of you.
	Meow to you too.
	Love you too.
	Thank you.
	So he and he goes, just this.
	And he started crying.
	And then the oldest daughter was five at the time.
	And she's like, we love you, Uncle Steve.
	And the kids just melted him.
	So life goes on.
	He becomes an amazing human being.
	Gets married, meets an amazing woman, have a child.
	Life is great.
	Suburbs, blah, blah, blah.
	Now, recently, his father died.
	And whenever something goes on, his wife's like, you got to come.
	He's going through something.
	You got to talk to him.
	Because I was the closest thing.
	I see him as like a brother.
	He sees me differently, but it's 10 years.
	Whatever.
	So I go over to the house.
	His father died.
	Now he didn't have a relationship with his father.
	His father tried to come back, but he was too Jesus.
	He didn't want to hang out, have coffee.
	He was like, you got to find Jesus.
	He was like, stop doing that to me.
	Just if you want to be dad, be dad.
	I don't want, stop putting this in my face.
	He would show me the cards.
	Like, lose the card.
	Doesn't ask about my daughter.
	Doesn't invest in my life.
	It's just find Jesus.
	Like, dude, I can't.
	And he kept getting hurt, going back, and blah, blah, blah.
	So he had bad feelings because it ended.
	He didn't have closure.
	His father died during COVID.
	He had hepatitis C, blah, blah, blah.
	So I'm going over there, dude.
	I pull over and I go, what do you want me to say to him?
	I got to say something because this kid's going to be in turmoil.
	And you're just asking God?
	Yeah, I said, what do you want me to say to him?
	Dude, it went boom.
	I went, holy crap.
	I have a relationship where I laugh.
	I go, bro, you are, dude.
	I think, if I'm God, I would talk to you a pretty good bit, I think.
	And I'm like, man, this is a cool.
	Holy crap.
	I didn't see that.
	So I go in there and I go, listen, I know how you feel.
	And we did small talking.
	I know how you feel about your dad.
	All right.
	We don't know what.
	Let me back up and tell you a quick story.
	So I tell him the story I'm about to tell you.
	I go, years ago, when I was a little boy, I was about 10 years old.
	Dad brought me to go see mom and dad.
	We go see Johnny Cash.
	Got to see him a couple times.
	We go to Ohio to visit this couple.
	And there was this guy I met.
	And he said, can I hang out with him for the day?
	I want to teach him how to fish and blah, blah, blah and shoot a gun.
	And my parents were cool.
	I never shot a gun.
	I was scared to death.
	Did I kill a bird?
	He set up a can, shot a bird.
	And this is a stranger man?
	You didn't know him?
	We're going to get to that.
	And so he then took me fishing.
	We were driving.
	I'll never forget.
	He's playing the stones.
	He looks at me and he goes, you like this?
	I went, yeah, who is this?
	He goes, it's satisfaction.
	It's the stones.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	He's like, you don't know the stone.
	He couldn't comprehend I didn't know the Rowan Stones.
	That happened to me at 19. I didn't know him.
	Wow.
	This happened to my kids.
	My kids don't know good fellas.
	So long story short, we come home the day before we go.
	We're like, can I show Jimbo this album?
	And he goes, it's a comedy album, stand-up comedians.
	Guy named Steve Martin.
	And he shows me the album.
	And it's Steve Martin, Let's Get Small.
	And he's got a fake, you know, the fake nose and glasses and a balloon wrapped around his head.
	So I'm instantly attracted because I'm in 10th grade.
	This is doofy.
	He puts it on and I was blown out of my mind that a guy could just, he's telling jokes and he made a record and he's in front of people.
	I never saw this before.
	I saw Lauren Hardy and I saw her laughing.
	I saw these TV shows, but I never saw this.
	I saw like people doing characters and I'm listening.
	I was blown at him and I listened to it non-stop.
	I still know the album from beginning to end.
	Steve Martin, Let's Get Small.
	I'm a Rambling Man.
	Rambling Rambling.
	I do the whole album.
	Changed my life.
	It made me go into comedy and go dip more into it than Richard Pryor and then Don Rickles and George Carlin.
	And boom, I was off to the races.
	I go, and that led to the life that I've, that led me to my journey.
	Right, right.
	Yeah.
	So it led me to having a house and taking you in, having the opportunity to take you in.
	I never saw that guy much after that.
	I go, but how great now?
	Look at where your life is at because I was able to give that to you.
	Your daughter and your wife.
	I go, that guy was your father.
	I go, so before you go, I hate him the rest of the life.
	We don't know what the plan was.
	If he didn't do that for me, and I hated him for leaving my sister, but look at where we're at now.
	Wow.
	But that's, you have to be able to see that.
	So that was your sister's father?
	That was my sister's husband.
	Oh, that was his father.
	This was Stebo's father.
	Wow.
	So if that guy didn't give you that album, then maybe you don't end up on the track you're on.
	Absolutely not.
	Man, that's powerful, man.
	That's a heroin addict.
	That's what he was?
	The dad was a heroin addict?
	He left.
	He's a heroin addict.
	He's a drug addict.
	He might have had some mob ties because my sister loved talking about that.
	Well, it's funny.
	It's interesting about laughter, man.
	It's like sometimes somebody, even if they can't maybe make you laugh themselves or whatever, they want to just share something with you that maybe that makes them feel good.
	It happened to me with Jerry Clower, a man, my best friend, his dad, this is in Mississippi, they lived.
	And he said to me one day, he said, man, you have to listen to this.
	And he put it on in the car.
	And it was this guy, Jerry Clower from Yazoo City, Mississippi.
	And he was a famous comedian for a long time.
	And he ended up being a preacher at the end of his life.
	And then he passed away.
	But he told these stories.
	And I just had never, you know, he always said he didn't do jokes.
	He said, it's stories made funny.
	I tell stories funny.
	That's what he said.
	I tell stories funny.
	That's right.
	But man, he was...
	That was the game changer.
	And it didn't even change my life then.
	I mean, it helped then me get into comedy, but I didn't come back to Jerry Clower until about maybe four years ago.
	And that even changed my comedy perception and career.
	The way I perform and the way that I want to reach people.
	And yeah, man.
	It's wild, right?
	It's a wild ride.
	It's interesting how one little thing can.
	Yeah.
	It's about how do you, yeah, where do those seeds, how do you find that seed?
	A lot of times somebody needs to show it to you by hand too, whatever it is.
	Like advertisements help and the computer helps and that sort of thing.
	But if you can lead somebody, like you take somebody to a hockey game, then you're like, holy shit, now I love hockey.
	That's what happened to me.
	Somebody has to take you.
	Yes.
	You almost need a Sherpa.
	You need that.
	You need that little push, whatever.
	And I would see that.
	I'd be on the road.
	And I remember the first time going on the road was a little spooky, a little exciting, but I was young.
	And I remember just little moments where you think it's something or you might.
	And I just remember, you know, my first road gig was Cincinnati, Ohio.
	Who did you open for?
	Do you remember?
	Or was this when you were headlining?
	No, I was the opener.
	It was Ray Combs Club in Cincinnati.
	And all I remember is I was so excited because the headliner just won Star Search?
	Yes.
	Wow.
	The $100,000.
	He won it.
	Wow.
	Oh, my God.
	What was his name?
	That was the show, though, wasn't it, at a certain point?
	It was.
	But yeah, I don't even know why I brought him up.
	tell you a story.
	So I met you once before, and this was in...
	It was like a reality television show.
	Do you remember a show?
	I kind of remember that.
	People playing games and stuff, and they used to have a show called Real Worlds.
	It was MTV?
	It was MTV, yeah.
	I remember Road Rules.
	This is 19, this is 2002.
	Wow.
	So this is in my half-baked touring bus full-blown.
	Hardcore.
	Fat.
	I was fat.
	You know what?
	Actually, now that you say it, you had a perfect look of a stoner.
	Like, you really had a perfect stoner look.
	But here's what happened.
	So I'm waiting outside.
	I'm in Florida.
	I'm waiting outside for my girlfriend.
	She's coming.
	She's flying in to visit me, right?
	We have a couple day break and we're in Fort Lauderdale.
	And they put us up at a decent hotel and we're excited.
	And I'm 22 or something on him.
	I'm going to be on him.
	I'm doing fine.
	You know, I'm excited.
	I'm also a weirdo, but I'm cool.
	I'm waiting outside for my girlfriend and you come walking up, right?
	It's night.
	It's midnight.
	She got in on the last flight on Southwest.
	And where's this?
	This is in Fort Lauderdale.
	But where?
	At a hotel.
	That's all I remember.
	Okay.
	And it had one of those elevators inside where there was like you could, you could see out of the elevator when you're going up.
	So you can see the lobby and stuff.
	You know, really cool.
	All right.
	So you come walking up and I'm like, holy shit, you're Jim Brewer.
	And you're like, yeah, man.
	And he's like, what's going on?
	I was like, oh, nothing.
	I'm here.
	I'm working on this MTV show.
	It's called Road Rules.
	You're like, oh, I know that show.
	You're like, what are you guys doing?
	Just running around hitting elephants in the nuts, right?
	That's what you said.
	Which is so crazy.
	That is something I used to say.
	All the time.
	Did you really?
	Why?
	Yes.
	Well, here's the crazy part.
	Then, in sandals, you proceeded to act out hitting an elephant.
	Yes.
	You would jump up and act like you were hitting an elephant in the nuts.
	Dude, it threw me.
	It fucking threw me.
	And nobody else was around.
	So there was nobody that could believe this.
	And you didn't have camera phones.
	And so I'm like, we're just waiting for my girlfriend.
	You're like, you want to come upstairs and smoke, man?
	And I was like, holy shit, dude, I just got invited to go smoke.
	But if she would have got there, our relationship was that if I was high, it would have been a mess.
	Oh, that mess.
	I think I remember, because I remember acting out the whole doing elephant noise.
	Bro, you did it like six or seven times.
	And it was just the first time it was good.
	Oh, yes.
	And try to region in it.
	And in sandals, it was just like, Who is this guy even trying this?
	Bro, and it was so crazy to me.
	This is before I was a comedian or even got into comedy.
	And that's why I love once I was out of it.
	I love, I did.
	That was the me.
	I loved everyone.
	I was suppressed.
	I felt suppressed of those years of just not trusting anyone.
	Everyone was out to get you in the bat.
	Everyone was talking behind your back.
	Everyone's trying to get you fired.
	It was the worst.
	Do you feel like you're a trusting person?
	Me?
	Yeah.
	Very.
	Probably too much.
	Right.
	Would that trust everyone right out of the bat?
	Right.
	Right out of the gate because there's no reason not to.
	But I literally go off the energy and I really look into the eyes.
	And if I feel you're just slightly off, like, nah, I know when they're right, just not today.
	Yeah.
	Not today, bro.
	Dude, I trust you.
	How long have I been on here?
	I don't know, maybe two hours.
	And I went far.
	Yeah.
	I was up to here.
	Wow, I'm going here, huh?
	This is heavy.
	We're hitting elephant nuts.
	Yeah.
	Dude, it's so crazy, man.
	It just, that was such a moment.
	And it's so funny.
	I didn't know, like, I didn't know that, you know, we'd be sitting here now, but yeah, that was such a, like, it was just so crazy.
	You were so funny, man.
	Wasn't it such a fun thing being funny when you were young?
	Were you funny when you were young?
	Like, were you funny in high school with your buddies and stuff?
	I was.
	Dude, that was the fun.
	To me, there's no other, like, you can do specials and like do theaters and do like, but man, being funny with your fucking buddies in a group when nobody will ever be able to replicate the moment and you're just like sewing this fucking tapestry that's just retarding.
	You don't even know you have needles in your hands.
	And you're just, oh, God, I love that.
	Greatest high and gift of life.
	Yeah.
	And I, I, high school was the best.
	We had, so in our high school, we had the first black kid that ever wanted to be white, right?
	Wiggas.
	They ended up using the term wiggas, but they, they'd never seen it before in our area, right?
	They'd never, so they thought he was mentally handicapped, right?
	This kid, Brian St. Pierre.
	So they put him in the learning disabled classes, right?
	And he just had on like a starter jacket and was like a Larry Johnson fan, right?
	Like he just listened to like, you know, Bel Biv de Vo.
	He was just the first white kid that wanted to be black.
	They just never seen it.
	He was like, my rapaport.
	I remember that.
	We had one that was doing breakdances.
	Yeah, everybody had one, right?
	And they didn't know.
	But in our town, that was a learning disability, I guess.
	My town, too.
	So they put him in the learning disabled classes.
	You had kids in wheelchairs, kids with Down syndrome, kids with, you know, like, you know, kids that had.
	He's doing this.
	Come on, guys.
	You understand?
	He's doing that.
	But I remember being in middle school and it was so much fun, bro, junior high and shit.
	Those, those times, I think they prep you for the rest of your life to laugh that hard to the camaraderie.
	Yes.
	The lifting each other up, no matter how bad it got.
	We break one another.
	Breaking each other to the point where you let your guard down.
	I still live for that.
	I live to hang out, close doors, laugh our ass.
	We go as far and wide as we want, as funny as we want, as dark as we want.
	There's just no judging.
	There's nothing better than full-blown trust in those moments.
	Yeah.
	Did you, who made you laugh?
	Who's one of me that's really gotten you over the years that really makes you laugh?
	Comedian?
	Yeah, or has in the day.
	We talked about Rob Schneider a little bit.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's so talented at going in.
	He told me, his mother just passed away, and he was going into all these stories about her life.
	But then while he's telling them, he starts acting out some of the characters.
	And it wasn't like a bit he was doing.
	He was just talking.
	He's just acting them out.
	Yeah, he's just talking.
	Oh, man.
	Some of it was so good.
	He, you know, it's really weird.
	I was on a radio.
	I would do radio years ago.
	And I always, Rob was always one of my favorites.
	And he came on the radio and I he didn't want to be there.
	He was in a bad mood.
	Yeah.
	And happened to me.
	And it was a long time ago.
	And so I always thought from that moment, like, oh, man, he don't like me.
	Yeah.
	He don't like me.
	And so there's still times when I feel like going, because I follow him.
	Yeah.
	I like what he says.
	Yeah, me too.
	I like what he puts out there.
	Yeah.
	And there's so many times I feel like going, hey, man, I don't know if you guys want to.
	I really think you're cool.
	I mean, I don't know if you don't like me.
	I don't know why you don't like me.
	Do you think that we take things?
	I take things if somebody doesn't give me a certain vibe.
	It then lands on me that they don't like me.
	Me too.
	I take it very personally.
	Why do you think that is?
	Yeah.
	Why do you think that is?
	Because you know.
	You know.
	You know what?
	that they don't, you mean?
	Yeah, or they just, it's a...
	We're too that far.
	You're right.
	And maybe it's just like you're below them.
	Like, I took it as it was so long ago.
	This is.
	Right.
	I'm just thinking, I guess, generally, like, when I know, I notice that a lot for myself.
	If something happens, even in a moment, it might mean nothing to them.
	Yeah, this thing with Rob with me had to be 14, 15 years ago.
	Yeah, and he's probably seven.
	He's probably doing morning radio and doesn't want to do it.
	He was.
	Yeah, and as soon as it's over, I'm like, this is his 40th freaking interview.
	You had him doing non-stop.
	He's done.
	He's done.
	He's tired of saying the same thing.
	And it was.
	But we take things personally, though.
	That's what's interesting.
	I was like, oh, man.
	I don't need it at all.
	I had this whole plan.
	Like, we're going to be hanging out.
	We're going to be hanging out.
	We happen to be in a Zot Air Balloon.
	Have you ever been to Africa?
	Dude, you got to go to Safari.
	It's pretty cool.
	Yeah, we're going to go to the one of those massage parts.
	It was one of the real good ones.
	The VLVs ones.
	Where they blow dart you in the neck right when you go in.
	There's nothing better.
	Yeah.
	You wake up in fucking tired today.
	You try to fight, passing out.
	You know what's coming.
	You see the other guys kind of like, no.
	No.
	He merely makes me laugh.
	Spade makes me laugh.
	McDonald makes me laugh.
	I know everybody you.
	Norm makes me laugh hard.
	Dude, hold on.
	I'll tell you a thing about Norm.
	Hard.
	So he did this thing one time.
	He gets up to go from one room into another room, right?
	He stops at the doorway and he's like, What is this?
	What is like a.
	What is this?
	He's like banging on the door, like just the doorway.
	He's like, what is like a portal to like another.
	What is this?
	And he's literally asking the people in the room, right?
	What do you call this thing?
	It's like a portal to...
	Where am I?
	And he was just talking about a doorway, but it was so.
	He makes anything funny.
	Yeah.
	I remember it was me, him.
	He came to.
	I think he was doing a show with Spade in Irvine.
	And I went to go watch.
	And he came at, we went in the, we went like by the dumpster afterwards.
	And it was me, him.
	Oh, I know what you're talking about outside.
	Yeah.
	That little outside area where you park.
	Yes.
	And I don't know if it was.
	There was one other person there.
	I don't remember who's there.
	So he's like, hey, bro, you want to get stoned?
	I went, nah, man, I stopped.
	He goes, what?
	Jesus Christ.
	Fuck a guy from Hamp Bay.
	He can't fucking stop getting high.
	Fuck you dying.
	He was so angry that I didn't want to get high.
	He was so pissed.
	He was genuinely pissed.
	What the fuck is that?
	Who the fuck am Bro?
	You're fucking high.
	Jesus Christ.
	The fuck is this one?
	He's draining him.
	Jesus Christ, bro.
	What the fuck?
	He was so he can judge me now.
	No.
	No, I just...
	That's all.
	I smoked it all.
	I did everything.
	I smoked as much as I could.
	I beat the shit out of marijuana.
	Hard.
	I think he won.
	One hitter.
	I was crushing it.
	I'm meeting Von years before, talking about punching elephants in the nuts.
	Been there, done that.
	I did it, yeah.
	Dude, he one time I had to open up for him in, this is at a casino.
	We're doing like a casino gig in Shawnee, Oklahoma.
	Wow.
	And Cherokee Creek Casino, I think.
	And it could have, I don't know, this cool lady that I think maybe tried to make love to somebody, but she also helped us get the gig.
	And Norm was fucked up, I think, that when he went on, he went on after me.
	I don't even think for the first seven minutes, I don't even think he said anything, right?
	But the crazy part was the next day, we were at, there was like a, we had to play cards too the next day.
	You had to be there for the weekend, you know?
	So we go to the card tables and Norm's like, man, there's a lot of, a lot of good pussy in here.
	And I don't know him really well.
	So I'm thinking, I'm looking around this room, bro.
	There is zero attractive women, right?
	There's zero attractive men, okay?
	So it's not, even if you wanted some ass pussy, there's nothing.
	Yeah, it's a casino.
	And it's a gambling game.
	It's poker.
	Yeah.
	Five-card poker, you know?
	So, and I'm just thinking, well, I guess I just agree with him.
	You know, he's getting older and, you know, maybe he has a different perception of what's attractive.
	And I'm like, yeah, man, there's shorties.
	He goes, fuck no, there isn't.
	Like, he had played me, you know, like, he's like, this is the ugliest batch of people I've ever seen.
	I was just talking about him the other night.
	Now, I was there for one of the greatest Norm moments in comedy history.
	I think he was kicked out of Nebraska.
	That sounds realistic.
	And you can maybe look it up later.
	Where it says Norm McDonald was kicked out of the state by the governor.
	And he went on Letterman to talk about it.
	And I want to say it was like 1996 because I just finished my first year at SNL.
	It was 95. So it was the summer of 96. And I remember going on tour.
	There you go.
	You saw it.
	Go down.
	Yeah, kicked out of Iowa.
	That's me talking about it.
	Okay.
	But anyway.
	Should we look on a video?
	No, no, don't look at that.
	I want to see the real.
	There has to be a headline.
	How Norm McDonald got kicked out of Iowa?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Gazette.
	There you go.
	Okay.
	All right.
	So many were disgusted.
	Some were delighted.
	So he's supposed to, now you got to stand something.
	Okay.
	He, it's the first time me touring with a star.
	Okay.
	We go to the airport and people are like, oh my God, you're Norm McDonald.
	Like, wow, this is everywhere we went.
	Oh, my God, you're Norm McDonald.
	We show up at the university.
	He's like, yeah, I got to go golfing with the fucking governor tomorrow.
	They made me fucking golf.
	Fucking governor?
	What did that game are you?
	Right?
	So I'm like, he's with a governor.
	This is huge.
	Who gets to say that?
	So it's me, Daryl Hammond, and him.
	And you, you, oh, both of you guys went?
	We're on the gig.
	Okay, okay.
	We're going out.
	He's telling us.
	Daryl Hammond, yes.
	And so we get to the gig and is packed.
	And they go, now listen, there's kids here and there's students and alum and the dean and all these people here.
	So they're like, yeah, clean.
	I get it.
	No worries.
	I go, we're in Sunny Legos.
	That's why we got you guys because you're used to live TV pull up.
	So Daryl goes up first, does his 20 minutes, does impressions, does his comedy, hilarious.
	I go up, do my 20, feel great, crush it.
	Norm goes up.
	I'm not even exaggerating.
	The first thing he says, he goes up, he goes, I'm preparing.
	I'm like, this is going to launch my car.
	Are you kidding me?
	This is going to be huge.
	He goes, fucking, where the fuck are we?
	First person to even curse.
	I went, oh, shit, he cursed.
	He goes, so if you're gay, would you rather be the ass guy or the dick guy?
	This is what he starts off with.
	So I go, Darryl, you got to go see this.
	And he's going, and he won't stop.
	He's there.
	He's being depressed in the middle.
	He's being the ass guy.
	Why do you want to be there?
	I don't know.
	First of all, he's going on.
	People are grabbing their kids, running up the aisle.
	I mean, I never saw a place clear out.
	It looked like a fire alarm was going off, but the college students were staying and they were howling with laughter.
	And he one thing, and then in the middle, after about 15 minutes, he goes, Jesus Christ, what do you want to do?
	What are you fucking airplane jokes?
	You went fucking 7-Eleven Joe?
	Jesus Christ.
	Fuck out of here.
	So the next day, in the paper, USA Today would have cassette, like, Norm McDonald's out.
	Wow.
	Governor wants him out of the state.
	Bro, get out of my state.
	But to witness that was what I, I have so many Norm moments in my life.
	My first press conference with Norm was they prepped us into like, you know, this is going to speak and some of it's alive.
	BBC.
	And he's a bigger star than you.
	So you have to sit there and kind of pay.
	You have to be.
	It was him and Spade right next to us.
	Do you have to be second fiddle at the moment?
	Or were you?
	Yeah, man.
	I'm the new kid on the block.
	We're all new cast.
	It's all new cast except for Spade, Tim Meadows, and Norm McDonald.
	Wow.
	And we're like, whoa.
	And even looking at Norman Spade, I was like, oh, these guys are a star.
	This is huge.
	Yeah, man.
	Really looking up to them.
	And the press conference go, and I dropped the ball right out of the bat, right out of the bat.
	They asked me, the head of NBC who fought for me to be there, goes, Jim, what was it like growing up watching SNL?
	And now you hear you're from New York and now a fellow New Yorker.
	I said, I didn't watch SNL growing up.
	Well, you can hear.
	I was like, oh, I saw Laura.
	I'm like, oh, that was, Spade went, so he said, heh, heh, hey, hey.
	And I knew right away, like, oh, man, that was really bad.
	That was bad.
	And so he goes, I go, well, I wasn't allowed to because I was young.
	And he goes, well, what about when you were old?
	He's trying to prep me.
	He goes, surely when you got older and you were allowed to watch it.
	And I went, I was out on Saturdays.
	I wasn't watching TV.
	And Norm's like, they're going to like you.
	They're going to like you.
	This guy, this guy.
	And he's smoking.
	He's smoking.
	And Marcy Klein was just going, Norm, put out the cigarette.
	I'm not done.
	This guy's going to get fired.
	So I think I'm going to get fired because I saw Lauren Michael's face.
	He was pissed.
	So are you sitting there super nervous at this point?
	I swear in my life, in my kids' lives, I thought I was going to get fired because I just basically said I don't watch Sanitary Live.
	And I never did.
	And not a good answer.
	I sent the message in front of the press.
	And I didn't say it in a mean manner, but I could just tell the boss man was like, so, oh, Jesus Lord.
	So now I'm sitting there thinking I'm going to get fired.
	Swear to God.
	And I'm just like, oh my God, even get, I didn't even make it in the first episode.
	Let me go.
	This is what's going on in my head.
	There has to be a video of this press conference in the black market somewhere.
	I've looked for it, never found it.
	It's the 1995 press conference.
	And so they asked Norm, they go, Norm, you, Tim Meadows, David Spade, you've been here.
	You know the frat house.
	Everyone knows SNL is a frat house.
	What kind of practical jokes you got lined up for these new cast members?
	And I swear to you, I went, I'm not even going to be part of the frat house or the practical jokes.
	And Norm goes, first of all, he's annoyed.
	He goes, practical jokes?
	Is that what you asked?
	What kind of practical jokes?
	First we were thinking about anal rape.
	You know?
	Like, hey, take your pants.
	We're going to anally rape you.
	Welcome to Saturday Lime going, oh, shit.
	He's going to get fired too?
	You can't say anal rape in front of the press?
	He said anal rape.
	So suddenly you're like, I'm back in there.
	I'm in it.
	I'm good.
	I'm good.
	And I went up to him after I went, noise.
	He's like, damn, you know, he gives a shit, bro.
	You know, he gives fuck these guys.
	And I realized he would pitch at the pitch meeting.
	He just didn't care.
	He didn't care.
	And I learned so much from him.
	Just clearly he saw a lot and he's been there forever.
	I remember he gathered the new cast up.
	He's like, geek, I swear to God, he goes, hey, don't write me any of your gay sketches.
	He goes, and I'm telling you right now, and I do a sketch is getting on.
	But don't put me in your gay little sketches.
	I swear to God, man.
	I also traumatized him.
	We would play football in the hallway because he was very competitive.
	He's always betting.
	And it was a very tiny hallway, maybe as wide as this, maybe.
	And he like, come on, baby, fucking playing.
	Three in the morning.
	Oh, fucking.
	Come on, fucking playing football.
	Me, you, Colin Quinn, and fucking Justin.
	Justin, you fucking fuck the phone calls.
	No one's calling three in the morning.
	Get the fucking ball.
	Let's go.
	So, and he would cheat, would piss me off because I'm competitive.
	And I'll never forget he keeps cheating and cheating.
	And now I'm pissed.
	How's he cheating?
	It's like a hallway.
	It's like a hospital hallway.
	Hallway, but he fucking cheat.
	He's a cheater.
	Yeah.
	So I had boots on.
	So I had work boots on.
	Yeah, yeah, because he's also right in.
	I'm fucking work boots on.
	I'm stolen.
	Oh, the ink's heavy.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So now I caught the ball and then he grabbed it and pulled it from me.
	He's like, hey, fumble!
	And he starts running the other way.
	I'll never forget, I fucking kicked him as he's running in his calf on.
	Pow!
	And he goes, ah!
	Jesus Christ, brewer, why'd you fucking kick me in my fucking calf?
	I was like, get you cheating.
	So you fucking kicked me?
	Ah!
	Jesus Christ.
	And all he did all week, he like, fucking brewer, you fucking kicked me in my calf because I took the fucking ball?
	Jesus Christ, brewer.
	And Spade just in the distance like, yeah, I had a good time.
	And so those in a moment, I absolutely, I loved more that stuff.
	You know, all of it was worth it.
	All of it was worth it.
	It wasn't easy, but it was all worth it.
	God.
	So, damn, I'm exhausted.
	Yeah, we'll finish up, man.
	I could talk for hours.
	We'll chat another night.
	I'm coming to the show tonight.
	I'm going to come watch.
	Which one?
	Not sure.
	Which one's better, do you think?
	Probably.
	Well, the second one, I'm looser and I'll go longer.
	The first one.
	I'll come second one now.
	Because time restraint.
	Yeah, it's still early in the evening.
	And a lot of my bits are long.
	So I constantly go, okay, so I'm 40 minutes in.
	Should I do this one or that?
	So I think a little bit more in the first shows where, well, last night is no thinking.
	Second shows, it's no thinking.
	I'm just like, if I feel like going this way, I go this way.
	I'm either going that way, I'm going to go that way.
	Has comedy changed for you in different times?
	Like, were there times where you got to, like, okay, this was my set, and then you started to change as a person?
	Because this one thing I'm noticing for myself, like, sometimes I'm trying to maybe still be a person that did a set from previous in my life, but I'm different as a human.
	Yeah.
	And it's scary to think, will I still be able to be funny as this person that's growing and getting different than I was as this person who was.
	It's scary, but you will be.
	You've long passed that part.
	You've learned to grow.
	You've learned to grow as a person.
	You've learned to grow as an entertainer.
	You learned to grow.
	You've created your audience and your following, and you will make them grow up with you in every direction.
	Oh, wow.
	And that's what I discovered.
	My biggest fear was I'm a family guy.
	I'm getting really exhausted trying to appeal to something I'm not.
	Totally, yeah.
	And at that time, yeah, I was kind of stoner.
	I loved yeah, man.
	Life's good.
	Ha ha.
	And it was great.
	But once I had kids, I started to move along.
	I'm like, I'm not this guy.
	And I'm tired.
	I can't hold on to pretend to being this person for so much longer.
	And then as I grew, it was around 2008.
	I was just like, listen, I'm going on a ride.
	If you guys want to come along, come along, but I'm never going to be.
	I can't be what I was 5, 10, 15 years ago because I'm not.
	Yeah.
	No one is.
	I'm letting you go, huh?
	I got to let you go.
	I loved you for being there, but we'll move along.
	And I have to say, the audience grew to a point where I had no...
	Wow.
	And that's what you're going to do, and that's what you do do.
	Wow, that's fascinating to hear that.
	Yeah, Dorfman at the club says this is the funniest that he's ever seen you.
	He said, Oh, I feel, because I just, what, today he said that?
	No, I saw him the other night.
	I stopped by to see Snyder get together.
	Oh, so he didn't even see me last night.
	No, he hadn't seen you.
	He just said from the last time he just talked about your career a little bit.
	Yeah, I got better.
	Yeah, he was telling me that too.
	I said, yeah, because I'm not trying anymore.
	I know I'm funny.
	I know I'm going to entertain you.
	I'm very comfortable with going in certain directions.
	Even if I go too heavy, I know I'm going to come back and smack you with something else.
	There's some material I'm doing now that I'm bored with, and I want to do a lot.
	I'll come out and go, I'm going to do the first half hour just winging it.
	But then I'll see they're really stoked.
	And I'll go, ah.
	Yeah.
	There's that thing in your head.
	I don't want to.
	I don't know if this is the crowd to take the chance with.
	I don't want to waste.
	They're like this.
	And the last thing I want to do is bring them here and then bring them back.
	So, yeah, it's a constant mind game.
	Every show is different.
	Cool.
	Well, I'll be out there tonight.
	And thanks so much for hanging out, bro.
	Oh, my God.
	This was such a good time.
	I could have talked forever and ever.
	And I appreciate you giving me that opportunity and giving me that trust and this whole feeling.
	It's good energy, man.
	Thanks, man.
	Yeah, it's exciting to hear and just to learn.
	I think I look at other comedians and, yeah, just even hearing that I'll be okay.
	And this is a performer.
	This is a human, you know.
	I think there's a level of that that, you know, especially getting involved in Hollywood and just all the whole journey.
	It's like, well, I'll be okay as a human, you know?
	You'll be fine.
	You already are.
	Yeah.
	You're already there.
	Amen, bro.
	Thanks, man.
	Brother, beast good.
	Now I'm just footing on the breeze.
	And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
	I must be cornerstone.
	Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found.
	I can feel it in my bones.
	But it's gonna take a little time for me to step in pocket.
	on me And I will find a song I will sing it just for you And I've been moving way too fast On the runaway train with a heavy load of my hands And these wheels that I've been riding on They weren't so thin that they're damn near gone I guess now

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