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Aug. 15, 2019 - This Past Weekend - Theo Von
01:29:43
Sebastian Maniscalco 2 | This Past Weekend #223

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Sebastian joins to talk about being in a movie with Pacino & De Niro, hosting the VMAs, and hair transplant surgery. Watch Sebastian host the MTV Video Music Awards on August 26th. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode brought to you by Skillshare Visit https://Skillshare.com/TheoVon for 2 months free Honey Get Honey for free at https://JoinHoney.com/Theo   Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alex Wang Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Annmarie Reilly Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brandon Carla Huffman CharCheezy Christina Peters Christopher Becking Claire Tinkler Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook David Christopher David Smith David Witkowski Dentist the menace Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Doug C Dusty Baker Em Jay Fast Eddie Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Garland Madeline Matthews Mandy Picke'l Mariah Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Matthew David Meaghan Lewis Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Ruben Prado Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sagar Jha Sarah Anderson Sean Scott Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Vanessa Amaya Victor Montano Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Time Text
I plan on doing more.
Actually, I'm doing a movie coming up in a couple weeks called Spinning Gold where I play Giorgio Moroder, who was the father of disco, and I have to do it, talk about putting yourself in a situation that you don't normally find yourself in.
No, that I could do.
So, I came here, right?
No.
Yeah, I just got it.
Yeah, yeah, you did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, now.
Yeah, you win this round.
I notice, and this is probably the Italian in me.
Uh-huh.
I don't like that you got your name outside on the wall.
Yeah.
I think it should be nondescript.
Yeah.
Don't you think?
Oh, because it, yeah, it kind of.
Some psychotic come by and then, oh, this is where he podcasts out of, you know, kind of like a little under the radar.
No, that's a good idea, actually.
I think also because there's a lot of mental health in this building.
So it's like, yeah, I think they're all going to one of those freaking brain hamsters relapses.
And next thing you know, they come nibbling through the door.
You know, the first guy they go after.
Yeah, no, I mean.
But yeah, that's the Italian name, man.
You guys do hide and go seek like every day.
It's like almost 24 hours a day.
That's right.
No one ever knows where we're at.
You've got a sign out there.
Might as well be a neon.
So, yeah, but this is a nice spot you got here.
And I like the mural.
And we were talking about this before.
And I know I'm not a big, I'm not in the podcast mafia, but I do have a podcast.
It's been for five years.
It's really popular.
Popular enough not to make the wall.
Do you sometimes, does it feel like that podcasting is like, what does podcasting feel like to you?
Does it feel a little goofy kind of or something?
Because you're really like an entertainer.
So does podcasting feel like a little bit, you know, like, it's not really my bag sometimes?
Or do you have any thoughts like that on it?
Well, you know, I like it.
I like doing podcasts, not as often as maybe a lot of you guys.
I notice like there's a lot of you guys that are in your, you know, like the Schwabs, the Callens, the Kreischers, the Seguras, and Rogan.
It's like, you know, it's like a little family you guys got, which is cool.
And you guys go on each other's podcasts and what have you.
But my podcast is not really guest-driven.
It's just two guys kind of talking about their personal and private lives, which is that a no-no in the podcast?
It reminded me.
No, no, no.
That's a deaf.
That's a yes, I think.
I got a listening where episodes, what's it called?
It's called the Pete and Sebastian Show.
And we get on for an hour a week.
And it started about five and a half, six years ago.
Pete lived here in Los Angeles and then subsequently moved out to Fredonia, New York.
And we do the podcast through SiriusXM.
And it's only an audio podcast.
It's not a video.
And we have fun with it.
But, you know, guys like yourself have really, really had an abundant of success doing the podcasting.
And it's great.
It's a great way for us underlings.
No, like the Italian Steve Martin over here has come down from the, you know, Steve Martine.
Steve Martino.
Steve Martino.
No, I'm just.
No, no, no.
No, it has been.
It's a unique.
It's almost like a fan.
It is almost like a little bit of a family, and it's been.
Dude, this shit's blowing my mind.
I didn't know podcasting was going to...
We had like celebrity guests, and I didn't really like it.
So what was your tipping point?
Where did you take off on this?
Well, I went on Rogan's one time, and I was just like, man, people just want to hear people talk about stuff.
And it kind of gave me just a different perception of what podcasting was.
And so then, yeah, then I just started in my kitchen and it was just kind of like, yeah, I'm just going to talk about stuff that's going on, you know?
And sometimes it's struggles, sometimes it's not.
I can imagine yours probably has more recipes in it.
I could see that.
There's a recipe or two.
There's a lot of recipes, actually.
But yeah, we have fun with it.
It's a really, really good podcast.
It's just, I wish it would reach a broader audience.
We don't really put a lot of time and energy into it because, you know, it's just, he's there, I'm here.
Right.
So.
And you've got a big life going on now.
Well, yeah, I mean, I have a family and whatnot.
Not that there's an excuse not to have a podcast, but I hope my father one day leaves me for the podcast.
Imagine how sad the story is going to be for our children.
Yeah, my dad was never home.
He was in Encino Recording.
He never took me to ballet class because he was in Podcastville.
That's going to be a lot of kids' stories, though.
It is.
It is.
No, but you do a good job, man.
I mean, you should really be proud of yourself.
And look at where it's taken you.
You've gotten a huge audience now on the road and here now.
And you're getting all these movie parts and whatnot.
So you fit right in here.
It's been fun.
Yeah, it has been fun, man.
It's been...
What's good?
You know?
And you guys look up to him, I know.
And so he called me this morning.
He's like, what's good, Cockuzucka?
You know?
So, yeah, you talk to a lot of comedians off the podcast.
He calls like once a week.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he's just like that.
And he's always got, you know, for him, everything is three things.
It's a destination, a sandwich, and something to read every time he Tells you information.
He's like, dude, here's what you do.
You're in Buffalo, you go two blocks down there, you're going to smell a guy, right?
Don't look at him, all right?
To the left, you're going to see a sandwich shop.
Looks like it's out of business.
You fucking go in there, right?
You order a Reuben, ask for four extra inches of meat.
Crack open a copy of Catcher in the Rye, and you're fucking tremendous, son.
Every time, no matter where you are, he's like, oh, you're in Tampa.
Go until you can't fucking see anything, right?
Turn around three times.
There's going to be a lady there with a fucking, you know, a couple of loose veal, you know?
You grab one of those bitches, man.
You know, you open a copy of Time magazine from 1979.
Nobody can fuck with you.
He always has like boom, boom, boom.
Specifics.
Yeah, very specific, no matter where you are.
But he commented, he just did a Sopranos movie.
Yeah, that's what he was telling me at the comic store.
I talked to him a couple weeks ago.
He said he just got off the Sopranos thing.
And you have a new, you have a movie.
Yeah, a movie coming out called The Irishman with De Niro, Peschino, and Pesci.
It's a gangster film.
Hold on, say their names again, bro.
And let's say them like we, like us underlings, hints to say them, okay?
So who De Niro?
Larry De Niro?
Larry De Niro, Pete Pesci, and Frank Scorsese.
Who's Pete Pesci, bro?
You know he's out there pretending he's a thug.
So yeah, it's coming out.
We don't know when, but sometime this year.
But the trailer dropped a couple weeks ago, and I was really excited about it.
It was the first time I really saw any footage from the movie, and I got goosebumps.
It's going to be pretty special.
Damn.
So I play Crazy Joe Gallo, and I'm actually in the trailer falling out of the window.
So it's exciting.
We're looking forward to it.
Crazy, man.
And I saw the Green Book that you did.
Yeah, Green Book won the Oscar this year.
And yeah, very fortunate to land some of these roles that are like dream roles for a lot of actors worked 25 years to get in movies like this.
And the comedy has allowed me to open the doors for other opportunity.
And the Green Book was one of those where, you know, I'm working the first day with Vigo Mortensen.
And, you know, he slapped me in the scene.
And then after they said, yeah, it was a nice little slap.
And he goes, is that okay?
Can I do that?
And I'm like, hey, you want to lay me out?
Lay me out.
I'm up for anything.
So yeah, it was exciting.
So there's exciting things going on.
I got a little baby boy that we just had eight weeks ago.
So build in the family.
Is it hard to concept?
Is it hard to like, does it almost feel like hard to be present sometimes?
I mean, it's a lot going on in your life.
Yeah, there's a lot of thinking.
There's a lot of, you know, sometimes I'm not in whatever I'm in.
I might be thinking about other things, which I like to be present and available.
But sometimes your plate is really full and it's just hard not to think about what's going on.
I worry a lot, a lot of fear in taking some of the projects I take just because, yeah, well, I'm doing this VMAs in two weeks, right?
I'm hosting.
Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
And honestly, my first thought was like, what the fuck, dude?
That's crazy.
Well, it's a challenge for me because, A, it's not my audience.
I mean, excuse younger.
My audience is typically, you know, 30 to 60. Yeah, jag offs, dude.
You know what I'm saying, bro?
Jagoffs of cufflinks.
I know who your audience is.
It's getting hot in podcastville, bro.
Getting hot.
I'm joking, man.
You have a huge, huge audience that gets good entertainment, so that's who you have.
Yeah.
So you're worried that...
So I'm hosting it, right?
Yeah, I'm hosting it.
Crazy.
Now, you never saw, you never would have thought that you'd be hosting the VMA.
No, it wasn't on my vision board.
Like I had it, yeah.
So do you have a vision board?
Do you write shit though?
I do have a vision board, actually.
And I want a black son one day.
I have two black kids on my vision board.
You have two black kids?
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't tell people that often because they don't see it the way I see it.
How do you see it?
I see it as these are going to be my son.
These are going to be my sons one day.
I think other people see like, oh, a guy from the South has a couple of black guys on a vision board.
I think they kind of get a, you know, they're looking at it differently.
So if I went through your house and looked at the vision board, you got two black kids up there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, they're happy and one of them has a school book under his arm.
Those are my sons, man.
Okay.
And no matter who my sons are or what, you know, what color, you know, what tent they come in, they're going to be, you know, hopefully they're going to be reading decently and doing good stuff, you know.
But, dude, that's crazy.
You're going to be hosting the VMAs.
You have to be a little nervous, huh?
I'm a lot nervous.
I wouldn't be living if I'm not really feeling this stuff.
So, you know, the music, skewing younger, never hosted anything before.
That's crazy.
And, you know, like, you know, you got to write the comedy for the night, you know?
And my comedy generally is tested at the comedy store and whatnot.
So the monologue that I'm opening up with, you know, I've been working on, but haven't really tested it in front of a live audience, which I will, you know, moving forward this week and next.
But yeah, it's a daunting task.
So you're going to talk about celebrities and stuff?
You have to kind of, I mean, MTV's turned it, it's basically just Rob Deerdeck 24 hours a day, I think.
I feel like it's just that show ridiculousness.
Yeah, there's a lot of that, but I'm not, my style's not ripping people to shreds.
My style is a little bit more.
I'm going to tailor the comedy to what I do on stage and kind of fit it into the environment rather than go on stage and go, well, Drake's here tonight.
It's not really what I do.
Right.
Oh, wow.
That's cool, though, because that's, I think when I heard about it, I was like, oh, man, if Sebastian is going to do that, it's just different.
It's just different Than him.
That would just, to me, it would seem so scary.
You know, it's frightening.
But it's good.
It's a good frightening.
You know, like, I believe that if you don't challenge yourself in this business, and we've talked offline about this, like, you know, getting a little, maybe your momentum is not there or your passion is not there, maybe in certain different things.
I feel that, you know, the challenge is where you kind of get the passion back and or putting yourself in situations that you typically wouldn't put yourself in to, you know, overcome and succeed.
So, you know, doing that.
Yeah.
Doing one.
This is definitely one of those.
That's wild.
So, yeah, it's been good, though.
What are you going to wear, dude?
How?
Like, how are you doing?
I am getting up.
The outfits are next week.
I mean, I'm not going to come out there in a see-through leopard nipple shirt.
How many gross of sequins are in the mail right now?
Headed to Los Angeles to make your costume, brother.
There might be a sequin, a jacket or two.
You better fucking come out looking like a 60-year-old Italian bot who's trying to fucking get one last run at some cock over at the VFW.
I want a reel.
I want you to come out just shining, bro.
There's going to be a lot of, yeah, I think maybe one of the oldest hosts they've ever had.
At least maybe the only host they've ever had with gray hair.
Definitely.
And you might be one of the only hosts who's being honest about their age as well.
Yeah.
Who knows?
46 years old, doing the VMA.
So yeah, that's going to be exciting.
Damn, bro.
That's so crazy, man.
It's crazy.
Is it strange to feel sometimes that that's your life?
Like, isn't it sometimes even with me, just like in the past year, just getting things getting busier and people coming out?
It's like, it's crazy how quick you adapt to it, kind of.
And then sometimes I don't feel embarrassed that it's my life or something.
I mean, I'm grateful, but I just feel, it's almost like my life, the reality of some of my life sometimes makes me a little bit nervous, if that makes any sense.
What are you nervous about?
Just like, I guess just like there's a, there's, it feels like there's a bigger expectation than you're able to fulfill just as like a human person.
You know, it's almost like you get bigger than you are as a person.
Or I worry, I fear of some of that or something.
I don't know if that makes any sense or not.
Yeah, I mean, I guess in a way, I mean, for myself, yeah, I just, you know, I just like to live a normal life.
I don't like to like feel like I have to be doing something else.
Put it this way.
The gym I work out at, I don't have an office.
I just have a home and I work out of the home.
But it's getting a little crazy now at the house.
With two children.
With two kids.
It's hard to work.
It's hard to do anything.
So what I've been doing is going to my gym and after I work out, I set up shop.
At the gym?
At the gym.
Oh, Jesus.
You know those guys.
Which I've done.
I've gone to Starbucks.
I've done all that stuff.
Throughout my whole career.
I've always kind of just set up shop and did things.
And what are you, you bringing a laptop?
Are you bringing a printer?
A new laptop?
No, I'm not bringing a printer.
Okay.
But I just, you know, catch up on some emails on a table outside the gym, right?
I could just see you carrying a monitor in there.
Yeah, no, no.
They used to have a guy at Coffee Beam would bring a monitor in.
Yeah, I've seen it.
He had that stack at Tower.
That whole thing is insane.
The same guy that's editing a full moon movie at Apple store.
You see those guys?
You walk in.
This guy's doing like, he's on Final Cut doing his short film.
Yeah, he's like, well, everybody, quiet down.
I need some room tone.
People are like, chill the fuck out, guy.
Trying to get some AirPods, man.
So sometimes you'll just do it at the gym, huh?
Yeah, you know, I mean, like, talking about just kind of living a life that's kind of just normal and don't have to feel like you have to adjust your everyday kind of routine because you've hit some type of success.
I don't know.
I've always just tried to, you know, it's just do, because I feel like if you stop doing the things that you normally would do, you lose the kind of like the pulse of what people are doing.
I like going to the stores and the whole, you know, grocery shop.
I love all that stuff.
And I'll continue to do it just because I enjoy it.
Plus, I get a lot of like material from just kind of living life.
Oh, yeah, man.
I think, well, yeah, when you say that, I think, I think, yeah, maybe my fear is like, it's just like this uncomfortable perception.
It's like, yeah, maybe I feel like I have to be different or something when I just, you know, don't.
Maybe there's like this weird pressure or something.
I don't know.
But yeah, I think doing regular stuff.
Like, I like someone that's taking a bird scooter to the gym in the morning, you know?
And I don't have nice calves and I have shorts on.
So for me, it's really humbling, you know?
Bro, taking fucking lean calves out for a spin on a bird scooter at 39 years old, bro.
Have you felt at all safe on that thing?
I did it once or twice, and it just, you know, one bump and it's over, right?
Yeah, there's not a lot of opportunity for safety, I don't feel like, on them overall.
Dude, one lady hit the dirt, bro, everybody sprouts over by me, right?
This lady, fucking, way too old to be on one, had a bag of groceries, just hit the dirt, bro, and just didn't move at all, right?
Instead of helping, there was like two people yelling, this bitch is down over here, right?
And I was like, oh my God.
Yeah.
I at least hauled my horn real loud as I fucking drove off, you know?
But she bit it, man.
Groceries all over.
Like, yeah, it's a lot of.
Well, listen, these birds, you know, it's good for you want to go to the gym, you want to go to a buddy's house, fine, you pick one up, you go.
But what I've seen on these birds is like, you were saying, people are carrying groceries.
Then I saw a guy that apparently you take a bird and you go and charge it, right?
And people make money.
The guy was on a bird with two birds on his shoulder.
Okay.
It's just, it's not made for that.
You know what I'm saying?
So flocking, bro.
That's crazy, dude.
When you flocking, man, that's wild.
Flocking the birds.
That's crazy.
Yeah, some of you will see some guy at night just throwing them all into a fucking van, you know?
And this is one of your moves, bro, until he stole them from you, right?
You got a new son, man.
That's awesome, huh?
Yeah, so I got a little baby boy.
And yeah, it's been great.
Got two and a half-year-old daughter and a lot, a lot of stuff going on at the house.
And I try, when I'm home, to spend as much time as I can with my kids, whether it's taking my daughter to the ballet or whatnot.
Again, just kind of living the dad life and extracting material from those moments as well.
So, yeah, it's been really, really, it's a lot of work, but it's very rewarding bringing up kids.
And having a son, too.
And I know in your kind of bloodline, it's a big thing, right?
Well, yeah, being an Italian family, it's nice to have a son, carry on the name.
Grooling with three daughters, people are like, hey, where'd the name go?
What's going on here?
Yeah.
So, yeah, my father and my mother were extremely excited when the little baby, baby boy came.
So, yeah, I think we're done.
I think we're done.
Two is good enough.
Y'all getting the tubes tied or anything?
Or what do you guys do, dude?
I don't know, man.
Somebody sneak up on a tubes with a fucking shank.
Yeah, we shank it, tube.
I don't know.
I don't know what I'm going to do yet.
We haven't really discussed.
It has been discussed, but I have no idea what the hell's going on.
It's the least of my worries right now.
Right.
So we haven't even talked about the shirt.
I think you're going to be.
Oh, I wore this shirt just for you, man.
It's a beautiful piece.
It's a beautiful garment.
Well, I remember you said that, yeah, if you ever had a different job, it would be like a concierge or something.
Man, that's right.
So I could just see you.
Like, I'll tell you this, if you show up in people's dreams or anything, this is what you're wearing.
This is what I'm wearing.
They're wearing.
Definitely, Rob.
You're the guy who fucking shows up.
That's it, man.
That is a beautiful Made or D outfit.
Oh, yeah.
Top notch, dude.
Go to prom, funeral, all of it.
That's one thing that is nice about Italians.
Like, if they really, they dress up, you almost dress for anything.
It could be something severe.
It could be a good, you know, it could be a get-together.
It could be a funeral.
It could be indictment, you know?
All the above.
Yeah, it's like they dress for, they're well-dressed.
Well, I won best dressed in high school.
You really?
Yeah.
Senior year, I took, well, I actually got, there was a tie between me and another guy.
I should have took it home, though.
But I was actually upset that I had to share the award with the guy.
But yeah, always, always very particular about how we look.
And I think it stemmed from the upbringing.
I would come down to go out.
My mother's like, where are you going with that on?
And I'm like, well, we're going to go to dinner.
She's like, you know, go put some nice slacks on.
You're like, dude, mom, we're going to Arby's, Ma?
Yeah, we're going to go to the Arby's.
No.
We're going to Pizza Up.
Remember when Pizza Hut was sit down?
They decided not to sit down anymore?
No.
Merge of Basket Robins, dude.
Some of them, you go in there, it's just some Muppet just gives you a scoop of fucking pepperoni, bro.
And somebody pulls a gun in the distance, bro.
That place is going downhill.
You can't sit down and eat there anymore?
You can, bro.
You're not going to be fucking looked at well.
It's very small in there.
No, Pizza Hut used to be like a restaurant.
Oh, my God.
Right?
Dude, it was so nice.
Have you been to a Pizza Hut recently?
Yeah, I picked up from them.
I don't even think you can sit.
There's like a bench where you can wait, but if you sit there and eat, it's going to be hella awkward.
But it's merged with Baskin Robbins, and it's just...
Yeah, they had those kind of curved bench.
You sat down and you had a pizza.
Wow, I haven't been there in a while.
Yeah, the crust was, it was a big pie.
They had a couple video games usually in the place.
Our family would go sit in there.
I enjoyed that, a salad bar.
Salad bar, that's right.
They did have a salad bar.
They have a pudding on it.
I never understood it, but.
Just five days ago, they shut down 500 more dine-in pizza hut locations.
It's going away.
That's it.
Pizza Hut's done.
Where do you eat your pizza out here?
There's a nice place called Pisana out here if you're looking for a nice piece of pizza.
Is there?
Yeah.
Where's that at?
It's on Robertson and Melrose.
They just opened up a location also in Brentwood.
I have no money and no steak in this place, but if you want some pizza.
Those are nice neighborhoods, bro.
I'm eating pizza more out here in regional.
You know, I'm eating pizza more.
Are you?
I don't want to tell the listeners or the viewers where we're at.
Right.
Yeah, I eat pizza around here.
Okay, this is your hood?
Like really close to where you could get gas, you know what I'm saying?
Like that kind of.
You can smell one from the other place, you know?
That just bleeds in.
The gas bleeds into the cheese.
Who's somebody that you are kind of low-key excited about seeing at the VMA?
It's like just to see.
Do you already know everybody's going to be there and stuff?
Yes, they've given me a list.
Who am I excited to see?
This is why they picked me to do this because I don't really know a lot about music.
And this is kind of what they liked about it, that I don't really have a button on what's going on with the music industry.
Although I do, I know the collids and from afar and her and Halsey and all these artists.
I know, but I don't know the ins and outs of who's throwing shade.
Right.
Yeah.
Whatever that means.
I don't.
Where I'm from, my aunt got a new awning on their camper.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's totally different.
But Missy Elliott, who I grew up kind of listening to, she's going to.
No similar body type, too.
I feel like.
Yeah, I feel like we're similar in shape.
So she's going to be there?
She's going to be there.
And yeah, there's a couple surprise guests That I can't really mention, that I'm looking forward to meeting.
That's crazy, man.
What a wild night that's going to be.
My mom just told me she's coming.
My father's coming.
My in-laws are coming.
Obviously, my wife, my whole family's coming, my kids.
I want to bring my kids there and get some photos with them at the Prudential Center where they're going to have it.
So, yeah, just elaborate.
Even on a production end of it, just looking at this, because I know a lot about production and putting on a show, what they have going into this as far as the technology is just sick.
It's amazing.
And this is in New York, right?
This is in New Jersey, Prudential Center in New Jersey.
Oh, is that where they usually have it, or they usually have a...
They've had it at Radio City.
They've had it here at the Staples Center.
They've had it.
Madison Square Garden, Microsoft Theater, The Forum, Barclays.
Because I went to one – because I did an MTV show when I was young, right?
And so we went to – The VMAs.
Yep, 20 years ago.
So you went to the VMAs?
Went to the VMAs.
Got a ticket somehow.
I don't even know, right?
I get out at the place.
I didn't know what it was going to be like.
I mean, I'd seen it on television, but I get out, get dropped off there.
Bono is walking on the red carpet the same time I am.
I think everybody's like excited for me, right, dude?
Because I have no clue who Bono is.
No clue.
I never really listen to music.
I listen to like, you know, Alice and Chains.
You know, I'd recognize them or Guns and Roses, maybe.
But so people are going nuts, dude.
I have no idea.
Go into the place sitting.
I sat behind Chris Farley's brothers.
He had just died.
And I sat behind his brothers, sat next to Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.
Wow.
And InSync performed.
At some point in the evening, bro, it was long.
I remember urinating in the bathroom between Kid Rock and Montell Williams.
Wow.
You know?
That's a good piss.
Bringing those guys together, you know?
And at one point in the evening, I fell asleep in my seat, bro.
I was just, I guess it was like a long night and I just got kind of tired and I just remember falling asleep.
Did you know you were going to be, wanted to get into comedy back then?
No, I don't think so.
I think I just didn't want to grow up.
Like one thing about comedy for me, I just didn't, you know, I didn't want to grow up.
It was like you got to travel.
You didn't really know if your girlfriend was your girlfriend.
You know, she didn't know kind of if you was the boy, you know.
Yeah.
And yeah, it just felt like you didn't have to grow up.
Like you could always get, whatever was going on, you could always go escape it for a few days by going and do shows.
But the road rules took you out of Louisiana?
Yeah.
Yeah, and took me.
Yeah, it was good because I got to meet, like, I just got to see something different.
Like, we went to South Africa on it, I remember.
Oh, wow.
And I remember being like, holy shit, you know, all these people are alive.
You know, like, I just never really put it together.
There was people like, I'd seen a globe, but I'd never put together, like, oh, there's really people over here like being alive, you know?
Then you get there and I'm like, holy shit, man.
You know, all these people are going to be in heaven.
Like, this is crazy.
Because when I thought of heaven, I thought kind of, you know, kind of a little bit of a limited group, you know.
But then you get over there and you're like, damn, everybody's going to be up in this bitch, man.
It's a whole world out there.
Yeah, it started giving me just a, yeah, it gave me just a different perception.
Globe came alive.
Yeah, Globe, really, yeah.
It got four-dimensional.
So a little bit more about the movie than I want to know.
So is it interesting, like, as you start to build, you kind of become a name, you know?
And so then it's like, if you're working with guys like that, like, do you...
Is it hard to, like, not be, like...
Like, do you have to try and pay a little bit of homage?
Like, do you feel like any of that kind of thing on set?
Or what is it like?
When I went on set, I told myself I'm not going to speak unless spoken to.
I didn't want to be that guy.
And I'm not that guy.
Jesus.
That fucking guy, bro.
Well, you know, the guy that goes like, what are you going to do?
Go up to Robert De Niro and go, wow, I really loved you in Casino.
Right?
The first day I had a scene with Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, and I didn't know, I didn't sleep for a couple of days before that.
I was really kind of pining over this.
You didn't sleep, dog, damn.
It's crazy.
Well, no, I mean, were you fucking camping and shit got crazy?
Like, how do you not get any rest, man?
Well, I mean, I was just, because I think I'm like, like neurotic, you know, like, if I got something to do, I'm like, there's VMAs.
Two days before that, I'm going to be up and down.
There's no sleep.
Oh, when they call you out to the stage, that's going to be fucking.
It's live, bro.
It's live, man.
So with this, it was nerve-wracking because I just, I'm not an experienced actor.
I don't have a lot of experience on movie sets.
And now to be thrust into a movie where you're working with, you know, not only Martin Scorsese, but probably two of the actors that are maybe our best of our generation.
And then, you know, they're yelling action.
I'm just hoping words come out of my mouth, you know?
So I was nervous going into that whole experience.
But it's just like anything else.
You do it and then you're like, okay, you know, because there's doubt.
There was doubt for me.
Like, do I belong here?
Right.
That's what I think I'm trying to get at a little bit.
Yeah.
That's what I would feel.
It's like, do I belong here?
Am I pretending that I belong here?
Do they know that I don't know if I belong here?
Like, those would be the things that would be running through my head.
Are they looking at me like, oh, this fucking guy don't belong here?
Or are they just looking at me like a regular person and all the doubt is just inside of me?
You know, that's what I feel.
That's what it is.
It's all inside.
The questions you have, no one else is thinking that.
You have to think that.
But, you know, that's what I was thinking.
I was like, am I going to get on set?
And De Nero's going to go, this is who we hired?
So, yeah, there is a bit of self-doubt and there is a bit of a lot of anxiety and nerves, at least for me.
And then once we are up and running, it was off to the races.
So I didn't really look back after that.
But I did have some experience with the Green Book going into this movie, which I think that's why I think a lot of things happen for a reason.
you get certain things because they prepare you for what's to come.
Oh, right, a plan you can't even see, kind of.
Yeah.
With Green Book, yeah.
Did you guys shoot those scenes in order?
Were they out of order?
Green Book was in order.
Because, dude, honestly, this is obviously me judging you.
But from the beginning, like the first scene when I see like helping with the luggage, I think or something, there was some scene I think or helping somebody just arrive somewhere in a car, I think.
And by the end, I could personally see like, wow, he's so much more comfortable at the Christmas party.
Okay, because the first day was the luggage day.
Wow.
And talk about nerves.
Oh, I'd be so nervous.
I was nervous for it.
I was nervous for you.
Watch it.
100%.
Like, that's so scary.
But no joke, dude, by the end, I was like, oh, Sebastian, just, I mean, knowing enough about you to knowing a little bit of your mannerisms and how you look even off of stage and stuff.
Like, I'll be like, oh, man, he seems a little bit nervous.
But by the end, I was like, damn, he's dialed in, man.
Yeah, no, you're right.
You're very perceptive.
The first scene for me was nerve-wracking because I was like, oh, that was really my first big scene in a movie with a big actor.
And it's like you got to rise to those occasions because, you know, if you don't, then they're like.
Right.
But yeah, it was, I hope looking back at what I did in The Irishman when I watch it, I could, because it's different when you watch a movie and then you're doing stand-up.
And stand-up is something don't work.
Right.
We were like, okay, that didn't work.
You can say on screen, hey, you can say on the stage.
Okay, not going to use that anymore.
You can't say that in a script.
So for me, as a comedian doing acting, it's a lot different because I could always make it up in stand-up.
I could do the next joke.
I go, okay, I'm going to get him with this one.
I'm going to get back.
But it was a great, I plan on doing more.
Actually, I'm doing a movie coming up in a couple of weeks called Spinning Gold where I play Giorgio Moroder, who was the father of disco.
And I have to do it.
Talk about putting yourself in a situation that you don't normally find yourself in.
Have you seen disco?
No, that I could do.
Bro, the owner of one of the Looney Bins in Oklahoma City was a disco dancing champion, I remember.
He was?
He used to take me in the back room and show me all his trophies, his old outfits, his unitards or whatever, bro.
Because painters, yeah.
A lot of disco people wore like those fucking onesies that a lot of painters wore.
There's nothing like a nice onesie to a disco.
Yeah, so I'm doing this with a German accent.
So I'm working with like a dialect coach to get like a German accent.
Bro, bro, at some point, dog, you don't have to challenge yourself.
That's crazy.
That's it, Jordan Yo Moroto.
That's a guy.
You're going to grow a big mustache, too?
I hope they give me a mustache on set because that mustache is beautiful.
God, is that beautiful?
Dude, I sold half a handful of pubic hair to a guy one time for a Halloween mustache.
Trimmed it right off on a cruise ship.
True story.
We needed hair, bro.
And this guy was limited, dudes, and I was fucking carrying at the time.
So I fucking trimmed him off a couple edges and he used honey to fucking put it right up above his lips.
Your stories, and I don't know if you feel this way, guys, but your stories are so off the beaten path.
I often go, is he making this shit up?
Yeah.
Or did that really happen?
Yeah.
So that happened?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, it happened, dude.
Trading pubic hair for small money, bro.
Trading pubic hair.
I mean, I never even heard of that.
Like, when I listen to that, I go, well, that's made up, right?
This guy's named Patricio from Brazil, actually.
And I still follow him.
He's a big Formula One racing fan.
But yeah, dude, that dude danced like a motherfucker with somebody else's fucking pubic hair above his lip.
He's a champion, too.
This guy was also a really cool guy.
Okay, but you're on a cruise.
Yeah.
And this is a buddy of yours?
It's Halloween, yeah.
And he needs hair for his lip.
Yeah.
And you shave your pubic hair off to give to him, which he puts on with honey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I trim a decent amount.
I didn't fucking shave anything.
But like, how's that thought even come into your head and go like, bro, hold on, let me start shaving my pubic?
Look, I was thinking, well, I love my hair, man.
You know, even though I feel like it's getting scarce some these days and I've been hatting a little, but yeah, I love my hair and I just knew that I didn't want to give any of that up at the time.
But I was like, I got this, you know, second batch of hair going on, bro, that, you know, it ain't, I don't know if it's the A team, but I got a fucking B team down here.
I'll sell you a fucking quarter ounce of it.
So you sold it to them?
Yep, 40 bucks on a cruise ship.
And a ticket for a wine because you got tickets at night to see how much wine, and you could get like two wines or something.
You know, they had a, you know, it's kind of like a cube or something.
Or, you know, like a system where you get a voucher kind of thing.
I didn't know there was a dollar amount on pubes.
There is now, bro.
Things are changing, dude.
Especially with all...
Oh, Hayer, dude.
So I got PRP, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Where they take part of your blood out.
Yeah.
Okay.
I got the transplant first.
So I got part of the back taken out and put in the front.
Yeah.
Because I love surgery, you know?
And so I got part of the back taken out, put into the front, just in the very front.
How many hairs?
Do you remember?
500.
500?
Yeah.
That's not many.
I don't really see, I mean, obviously, you know, that's a, well, that's a nice hairline, man.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
I don't think, I mean, I don't know what the hell you were worried about.
I had it done.
Yeah.
And because I needed it.
I mean, you look like you got a mop.
You really look good, man.
You got Italian hair, bro.
Well, yeah, well, they brought it.
I think I did 2,000.
Oh, nice, huh?
2,000.
But I don't do the PRP.
I don't do that.
But you're seeing significant growth.
I don't know if I am.
That's the problem.
Here's the trick.
Who fucking knows how it works?
That's what I'm saying.
Like, how do you look and go, wow, this is getting thicker?
Nothing?
I mean...
Even with the hairs, it's like, you know, I don't know.
They say they put them in and they cut it all the way down to the root So they're not just putting the full hair in they put just the little seed right is that the experience you had yeah well they yeah they well they they take it out and they they take from the root yes and then they plop it into your your head yeah now do you know that they could take because i asked i go can you take other people's hair and put it in your head and they said no it won't take yeah but
the second place they take it from if you don't have any in the back is underneath your uh your neck right here they'll take these hairs out and they yeah what psycho would get that bro what cannibal would take out his own neck hair and get it put in the top of his head it's available bro it's available what pervert is running around with his neck hair hey you got some guy with pubic hair on his lip and you're worried about neck hair we're all making money on the high
seas bucko okay but dude that's crazy though i would just feel so gentle out there i could i'd be way too gentle i feel like that hair is scary neck hair that's too much man no so this prp uh is what what is that they they prick your head with blood yeah yeah they so they take blood out of your arm and i had a slow drip or something i don't know if it was you know apparently it wasn't really that time of the month in my arm you know because dude
it took them 20 minutes they're both sitting there at one point the guy's looking at shit on his phone bro oh god while he's like they're like well it's good but it's just coming out real slow which is way scary bro like i'm down to half a quart or something you know so they finally got it and they put it in some machine that spins it and i guess gets like the best blood you have yeah because people don't realize a lot of their blood is just be you know b c team there's a lot of fucking miscreants running around in there you know some cells are
just sitting there just waiting for a fucking greyhound you know saying they ain't doing shit but you got an a team in there that's really kind of doing most of the work so they get those and then inject them into certain parts back in your head um and you you had the process done what once a month or it's supposed to be annually and i just had it done oh okay annual because it's been about a year since i had the surgery so i think it's been good though it's definitely been it was interesting i thought and i was glad i did it it felt me like made me feel kind of proactive
um but i also get way inferior about how i look you know and so it's like you know sometimes i do anyway comedy's actually helped me with that a little bit what your your um your appearance yeah because it's just like oh this is how i look at this point you know it's like and also i think if you're too handsome i don't know if you can be a good comedian um you know it would just be it would be i don't think a real handsome guy could be a real comedian a good it would be harder for them to do it i
couldn't imagine if i was like a real handsome guy like i'm an eight if i brush my teeth right i'm a fucking eight you won't see me in nineville you fucking might see me hanging around the sevens well i mean eight eight is is pretty high up on the handsome meter if you if you right i don't think i think everybody can be an eight if they take care of themselves i don't think eight is really eight is a b right yeah it's a b eight's a b yeah so a b a b is pretty damn handsome i'm talking you know c minus what's that's what we're talking about comedians
right yeah i guess that's true maybe yeah maybe i need to do something to myself maybe you're better looking than you think you are nah nah man that's crazy maybe i need to uh try and hold the door in a sharp elevator and come back here a couple months with one arm um yeah i don't know so i had it done though i had it done this guy in beverly hills this guy dr kayen and he was awesome man i went in there one or
two times he's like you don't need anything you know come back in a year he wasn't trying to upsell me on my own hair like a fucking guy you got pulling shit out of your neck that's crazy i didn't get it done and i'm just saying that's an option if you want to go go back and start taking right out of your goatee that's crazy bro that's wild man yeah and it's funny i didn't think that i would ever be that type of person that would do that but then sometimes you just become people you didn't think you would be i guess you know yeah well you grow you
learn different things i guess you know so for you so you got this podcast and you got one with uh brendan shaw how did like tell me in the podcast world how does that come about do you guys get together and go yeah we should do another how many how many of these things you got going right now what one are we at now what's this this is the weekend right yeah but there's another one that you have yeah king and the sting okay but then there's another one that you just talked to the camera by yourself that's this past weekend but
on monday episode and so that is just comes out on monday this one comes out on thursday so how many of these things you doing a week i'm doing three three a week three a week all right so it's pretty that's part of this thing that sometimes burnt me out a little bit is going on the road and then like you know you get in sunday and then have to come here that night and do an episode and then tuesday do one with brendan wednesday come in here and do a guest episode so we're gonna scale back a little bit i think not do as many we got amanda knox coming in next week oh this is this is your uh this is toxy noxy dude so
funny i told you that the other night and you're like what are you gonna ask her about and that was the first time it hit me like i don't know well do you like come into these things with like a prepared like or is it just kind of like we're just gonna wing it or i mean like on the way over are you going are you in your head going with amanda knox okay i'm gonna ask her this this or do you just take your jacket off put your hat on and go okay look we're we're talking yeah yeah i think that's it i'm gonna ask her let me see i was
gonna ask her like about the media and stuff and how much she thinks like it controls everything does she think it that the truth even matters a lot of times and then all right so there's some thought that's going into this yes there's a little bit of thought into it uh and then she has a husband now and then i was gonna yeah ask her what she looks for in a man and if she thinks like you know how many guys tried to hook up with her just because maybe she killed somebody or allegedly you know and then what else that's probably about it sorry to interrupt the uh episode here
with the host of the VMAs.
That's so crazy, bro.
I can't even believe that.
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Oh, I use this.
Do you use this?
This is honey.
Have you ever bought something online only to find out later that you missed a discount?
I have.
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And later on you find out, oh, they got a different one for $19 less, better sheep.
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If I'm buying something, I click on Honey first and it lets me know if there's a better place.
Honey finds discounts and coupons across 37,000 sites.
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I just shop like normal.
Honey handles the rest.
If you're thinking you're going to have to go to a million sites and look, how much is this guitar?
You know, how much is this, you know, this hermit crab sanctuary?
Whatever, dude.
Honey does all the hard work.
And how do you feel when honey saves you money?
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And now back to this movie star comedian.
Wow.
But we got some user questions that come in.
We'll get to one of those right now.
What up, Theo?
What up, Sebastian?
This is Stephen from Connecticut.
My question is, so I know Sebastian's been on comedians in cars getting coffee two times now and has ridden in some various vehicles.
Those scooters were definitely interesting.
My question is, Sebastian, if Theo was to ride in a car with Jerry Seinfeld, what car should Jerry pick him up in?
Gang, gang.
Gang, bro.
For you, I'm seeing like an older I'm seeing a Monte Carlo.
Oh, good.
I thought it was an older man.
Okay.
What is a Monte Carlo?
Would you pull that up, Nick?
Maybe a 1981 Monte Carlo with T-tops.
Yeah, I like T-Tops.
Maybe with red interior.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's 80. Yeah, that's it.
Like that black one.
Yeah, something like that.
Is that you?
Yeah, man, that's beautiful, bro.
A little bit of Coke on the seat.
Hey, it's not mine.
It's not mine, dude.
I'm just listening to music.
That ain't mine.
Coke on the seat.
That's awesome.
I don't think Comedians in Cars has the Coke on the seat.
You don't need the coffee then.
Yeah, that's a beautiful vehicle right there.
I would do also maybe like a Ford F-150, like a 1980.
You like a truck?
You know what I miss?
I like that bench seat, I think.
Yeah, that's, uh...
Oh, wow, that's like a...
It's just simple.
It's like a farm vehicle.
Yeah.
Like a dog in the back maybe?
Oh, something you could put a...
Mm-hmm.
It's like a hunting truck.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess that is a little bit of a hunter vehicle.
Oh, here's somebody right here.
Yo, yo, Mr. Maniscalco, Johnny here in North Carolina.
Just a question for you guys, since you come from two totally different types of backgrounds.
But 10-year-old Theo and 10-year-old Sebastian Maniscalco, you come in from outside playing with your friends, sit down on the couch with your dirty clothes on, put your feet up on the coffee table.
What are your father's responses?
Gang, gang, I love you.
I love you too.
Buddy.
I got a sweating also, first of all.
This guy's drenched.
I hope he's doing okay.
I don't know what he's doing.
I hope he lived through the end of this.
It looked like I ended it abruptly.
Yeah, that's a lot of it.
Thank you, Johnny, and hope you're doing well.
So, first of all, I come from playing outside.
I ain't sitting on no furniture.
It's a shower.
Right.
Right away.
Wow.
Listen, my house, 10 years old.
Straight to the shower.
Straight to the shower.
And you ain't putting your feet up on the furniture.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That guy's got a unique area he's living in.
Yeah, my dad, I don't know.
My dad was asleep.
My dad was 80 years old when I was 10 years old.
Yeah, you had an older father, right?
Last time I think we were, you said you had an older dad.
My dad used to borrow money from me to fuck him for gas, you know?
Because he didn't ever work.
They're not hiring a lot of 80-year-olds, you know, in a lot of places.
Yeah.
So he used to, yeah, he used to borrow gas money from me.
And like, I had a fucking job, dude.
So that's crazy.
I don't even know where he thought I was getting the money from, you know, and I was just kind of stealing some of it from my mom.
So it's like, damn.
We had some dirty back channels in the house.
But whoa, my dad wouldn't notice about that kind of stuff.
That kind of stuff was just too menial, I think.
Too little.
But what else we got?
Gang, gang, gang.
Gang, bro.
What up, dog?
You sure you know no racist too, nigga?
Like the third video I sent your little ass, man.
Oh, damn, bro.
I'm sorry, bro.
What up, Sebastian?
Speak on having a kid, nigga.
Damn.
He wants you to speak on having a kid.
I just had to play that video so he doesn't think we're racist.
That was the third one.
No, I appreciate it.
And thanks, brother.
We're not racist, or I'm not trying to be.
You know, I have some flare-ups, some traffic, but overall, I'm good.
You know, I'm doing my best, man.
I'm out here on the front lines of not trying to be, brother.
Thank you for sending in the video.
Speak on having a kid, man.
Yeah.
Has it changed your perception or anything a little bit of like the world?
Do you look at the world any different?
Well, yeah, I look at everyday life different.
I mean, before, you know, you had a kid, it's just about you and your wife.
And now everything is like, I told you my daughter was sick last night.
So it's just the world stops.
We were supposed to go see the Los Angeles football club play last night at the Exposition Park.
Those plans are gone.
You know, it's just, it's all about the kid.
God, that team sounds miserable.
Sorry, Robin.
I've never even heard of that shit, Robin.
I'm in some fucking shady league.
I've got two grand going on fucking Winchester this afternoon outside of South Wales, so I'll bet on anything.
Never heard of that group.
Okay, it's right in our backyard.
It's supposed to be an amazing experience.
They're in the MLS soccer.
Oh, it's soccer.
Soccer, yeah.
Okay, I was thinking of American football.
No, no.
That's crazy, bro.
Take your kid to the fucking Rams game.
Cheapskate.
So it's affordable fun for the whole family.
So I heard it's supposed to be almost like a European type of atmosphere.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, Ian Edwards goes sometimes.
Yeah, Ian.
Ian goes.
So we were supposed to go there last night.
So long story short, in regards to the kid, you know, everything revolves around the kid.
It's all about the kid.
You go out for a walk in the neighborhood and you're scanning what's going on around you.
Before, you know, take a walk by yourself.
You could give a shit if you got stabbed.
But now it's like, what's going on over here?
Yeah, there's a dog over here.
There's this, there's that.
That's a good point.
These dogs, you know, and then my kid goes up to the dog.
And then I love these owners where you look, I scan the owner.
100%.
And I'm like, does this guy, if things break out, could he even contain the damn thing?
So I'm doing all that 50 yards in advance.
You're like, oh, this guy's a rat.
Or if it's somebody who's like some weak kid, never goes out once a year to walk like 30 dogs to make all of his money to go back into his fucking dungeon and just get all K-holed out and just play games until he needs it, you know, until he needs to buy a pack of ramen again the next winter, you know, and he's got like 40 dogs on a leash.
He's out there I did a riding somewhere in Brentwood.
Like, this fucking kid can't handle himself.
Yeah, so I guess you got to look out because the kid doesn't look, the kid isn't thinking about those things.
So you almost have to take part of the kid's brain.
You almost have to be part of their brain, I guess, huh?
Yeah, well, yeah, you are, you know, guiding this child, and it's a good metaphor, through life, you know, and not only when you're walking around the block, but, you know, as they grow older, you know, giving them advice, trying to lead them down the right path.
We're very big on manners and please and thank you because I see a lot of brats out there.
You know, I go to a lot of these, you know, I go to the park and I see, I tap my wife, I go, look at this kid.
You can always see the kid that's not misbehaving.
It's always got some weird booger hanging out of his nose and whatnot.
And yeah, so I take a, especially how I grew up.
I grew up with like a lot of like structure, you know, and I'm trying to instill that in our kids.
So that's my wrap on the kids.
Is it hard?
Do you start to worry about like being a parent and being able to be around for your kids enough with tournaments and stuff like that?
Yeah, so my daughter's been to 23 cities already.
And our son, it's going to be a little bit harder to travel with two kids, but they're coming to the VMAs.
They'll come to like really large event type shows where, you know, maybe Chicago where I'm from, they'll go back there.
But yeah, I cut out the whole summer to be at home and hang with the family.
And again, we were talking about just having some balance, you know, that you can't always be on the road.
At least for me with a family, I just, I need to cut out some segments in the schedule to hang with my daughter, my son, and my wife.
So I make that a priority.
Yeah.
And it looks like you guys have fun, man.
I'll watch a lot of your Instagram stories and it's like, oh, you guys are having a blast on that.
Fun, bro.
That's all we do at the house.
It's all about fun.
Yeah, there's serious moments, don't get me wrong.
But my wife and I were constantly ripping each other to shreds, especially her on me.
There's no room.
That's how I grew up, too.
I mean, I got friends, like speaking of comedians in cars, my buddy called me and said, bro, I saw you, comedians in cars.
You look old, man.
The hell?
You hung over?
You know, like, there's no filter.
You know, it's just that we just constantly make fun of one another.
You're like, yeah, I'm hungoff from 40 years of my life.
That's great.
So, yeah, keeps me grounded.
What's a DM that you've got from somebody who was like a fan or like somebody you really admired, like something nice like that?
Did anything ever happen like that?
Like Dennis Rodman sent me a peace sign the other day for no reason and then never wrote me back, right?
This is about two weeks ago.
So did you write him back?
From the peace sign?
Yeah, I wrote, oh, thanks, man.
And then I asked him something like, what's going on?
You know, do you live in LA or something?
And I didn't get anything back.
But it was just kind of interesting.
Yeah, it's always the first DM I really got through, it was actually through Twitter, was about six or seven years ago, and it was from J.J. Watt.
Wow.
He was a rookie in the league, and he had reached out to me via Twitter and said that he had been a fan since high school.
And then I started to think, wow, I'm really getting old because this guy was in high school when he picked up what I was doing.
And then we've been, you know, we became fast friends.
We've been friends forever since.
So that was pretty cool.
And The Rock had posted a clip of he was watching my comedy and he posted up on it.
And that had to be a unique moment then, kind of.
Well, I mean, out of all the stuff I've done, that one got like I had people coming out of the woodwork for 20. The Rock put your stuff on his Instagram.
It was bigger than any like network.
Everything.
Bigger than all the specials.
Everything.
One share by The Rock.
Wow.
He shared it and I was getting like, did you see what The Rock did?
So, yeah, it's cool, you know, to, because you don't even know, like when you're doing this stuff, you don't know who you're hitting, who's listening to this right now, who's seeing your comedy.
And with the internet, it gives you an idea of how far your tentacles are reaching people.
And it's cool to see.
You're like, oh, wow, he's a fan or she's a fan.
I wouldn't think they would maybe like what I do or what have you, but it's flattering.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's interesting how much access everyone kind of has to everybody, really.
Yeah, I mean, if the internet was around when I was a kid, you know, I'd be like popping DMs to prints going, bro, love what you're doing.
Let's dance.
Let's dance.
I got my disco outfit.
Do you think of now as you start to act and film and stuff?
Did you ever think that you would do that, though?
I mean, I just feel like it would have to be no.
Did you ever think that?
I mean, I think a lot of comedians think a sitcom or something sometimes.
It's kind of a natural train of thought, especially like, you know, coming up in the era and time that you've come up in through comedy.
But do you ever think movies, though?
I mean, do you really...
I'm not a goofy guy.
No, you're not.
So I'm actually a serious guy.
And the serious roles kind of play to my real personality kind of offstage of just kind of being a little bit more straight than like, hey, you know, it's not what I do.
So I like the fact that this serious dramatic roles give me a nice little departure from what I do day in, day out on stage.
And I think it's a nice little contrast for me.
So yeah, I've always had movies in the back of my mind, not to be like a movie star, but to do like projects here and there, a little pop into a movie, pop out.
You know, I don't want to be the guy that's like, you know, maybe carrying the movie.
That seems like a lot of responsibility.
Yeah, I mean, especially if you don't, you know, do it on a regular basis.
But yeah, I like what I'm doing with these movies.
And I'm fortunate enough to make a living doing stand-up where I could do the acting and it doesn't have to feed my family.
You know what I'm saying?
So I don't have to take a role just to take it.
Because the movies don't pay anything.
Yeah, there's not.
I mean, for me, it's more of exposure and being in a broader audience.
Similar to, you know, like podcasts, you know, like you go on a podcast and hopefully, you know, coming on your podcast, you know.
We'll send people to see the film.
Yeah, and, you know, reaching people that maybe don't know who I am or game, let's see what this guy's podcast is all about and whatnot.
So I like kind of, and also I like you and you're a cool cat.
And it's like, I don't go on everybody's podcast, but, you know.
Yeah, no, I appreciate it, man.
I mean, I've always looked up to you ever since I got turned on to you, man.
I just, yeah, you kind of reminded me always that like, like an entertainer can kind of still, there is still something to that.
Like I always like, it started to feel like comedy was just about like joke writers and stuff.
And if maybe that was my own, you know, fears or something, but like, oh man, these just, it's just people that are writers that they're putting on stage.
But then seeing you was like, oh man, you can still be like an entertainer.
You know, you can still be, you can still have dreams somewhere in your head if you're, you know, like I remember even asking you for advice one time.
You said, just go watch Michael Jackson, Munich.
You know, that's what you fucking told me.
And I remember that.
I was at the improv with my wife.
I think you met my wife for the first time.
We were hanging out at the improv.
This is about maybe six, seven years ago.
But you were back then, and maybe I'm wrong by saying this, but back then, you weren't a very happy man.
You were not as happy as you are right now.
And you were, you know, you were, I don't know, you were kind of struggling.
Not with your career, but just kind of, I could just feel like when we were talking, you were in maybe not so good of a place.
I remember my wife and I talking as we left.
Oh, that's such a nice guy, but he feels like he's a little down and whatnot.
So is that correct in saying that?
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's pretty true.
Yeah, I think I started to hit a little bit of a wall like I wasn't going to have, you know, I just didn't know if I was doing the right thing.
The opportunities, you know, didn't seem like they were presenting any of themselves.
But yeah, I mean, that's a good example of someone that might not think it's going to happen and maybe running into these roadblocks and all of a sudden, boom, look at this.
We're in podcastville.
Yeah, that's true.
You know, I mean, it's like, it just, it happens, you know, you got to, you got to stick with it.
And next thing you know, you got your own graffiti.
It's got to happen.
Do we have any other questions from the crew here?
Were any of those guys in the Irishman, like since they're all Italian guys, were they fans of your comedy and watched it?
yeah, I didn't know if they knew what I even did or if they knew I was a stand-up comedian.
I didn't know any of that.
So, going into this, the first day when De Niro came out, he came up to me and he said, I hear you're doing good things.
And I'm like, what?
Oh, my God.
Does he did someone tell him to say that?
Does he know what they trade?
Like, what's going on in here?
So, yeah, I didn't know.
I didn't know what the hell they knew, and I still don't.
I mean, De Niro had came to my show at Radio City after The Irishman, which we talked backstage more than we ever talked on set.
I didn't talk to him at all.
Really?
So you just go do your stuff and then kind of go back to your corner?
Yeah, well, they went to their corner and I went to my corner.
Yeah.
And, you know, they were talking amongst themselves.
Like, it would be like Cut and then De Niro and Pesci and Scorsese would kind of talk amongst themselves.
And then I would be like, I wasn't going to go in the huddle, though.
Yeah, I think so, too.
You know, like, what am I going to do?
I was on the sideline.
Like, I'm going to go have another mini Snicker over here while these guys predict my future.
Decide if I'm good enough to hang out of here for another minute.
Wow, that's, man, that would be very intimidating, man.
Well, they all know each other.
They work together.
So, right, they got their own thing going.
So, you know, I was like the new guy there in that particular scene.
And, you know, I'm looking at it like, if I'm not invited in the huddle, you know, I ain't going to go over there.
Yeah, no, of course.
But yeah, I didn't talk to really anyone on set because I didn't know.
It's another thing.
They yell cut.
I don't know if this guy's still in character or I don't know what he's doing.
You know, they yell cut and I'm thinking, okay.
Yeah.
You know, I'm me.
Yeah.
I'm not doing some method where I'm like, no, hold on.
They can't talk to me because I'm still crazy Joe Gallo.
Cut and like you said, I'm getting a little cube cheese thinking, cheddar.
So I didn't want to interrupt anybody's process.
Yeah.
But were you amazed how good of actors they were?
I was, I don't really remember.
The only thing I do remember is me thinking while I was acting that I couldn't believe I was doing this with these guys.
Yeah.
So, I mean, I don't even know if that's being in the moment in acting when you're thinking, you know.
Yeah, definitely not.
But I mean, yeah, I could totally relate to it.
Like you're in a lifeguard chair up above yourself, kind of a little bit.
You're like, dude, what are you fucking doing down there?
You know?
Bro, that's the adult pool, dude.
You got fucking flippers on, buddy.
But yeah, I could imagine that your mouth moving and a little bit of your head also talking like, okay, here we go.
Yeah.
A lot of like inner dialogue.
Yeah.
While I'm doing dialogue.
Which I think what comedians do, though, I mean, don't you ever go on stage and talk to yourself in your head while you're speaking to the audience?
Sometimes, yeah.
Yeah.
So this was just that I was actually taking in the moment and I couldn't believe what was happening.
But then I'm also acting at the same time, which is probably not the best thing to do.
But I'm sorry.
I had to.
These are like the guys I grew up watching.
Yeah.
Man, it's kind of crazy because especially like being, you know, being an Italian guy, you grew up, I mean, those are the guys, you know, that are still alive.
Those are the guys.
Yeah.
And Stallone.
The brother of Sylvester.
Who's the brother?
Frank?
Frank Stallone.
Dude, I see Frank at the gym always trying to pump a lot of young buckets, you know, all the time.
But we can always take that out if we need to.
That's an edit.
But I know a lot of gals that have been hit on by old Frank Stallone.
He's almost like Paulie Short at CVS.
Paulie used to try to bang every girl that was looking for a birthday card at CVS.
Bro, I know nine girls that have been, I was just looking for a birthday card for my mother, and Paulie Short came around the bin.
I've heard that story so many times, bro.
It's crazy.
It's a really good grind because you know there's a woman there who's like sentimental.
She cares about her.
She's caring, you know.
At least you know you're not, you know, you're meeting somebody that's, not somebody that's picking out a fucking, you know, 24 pack of fucking hot nuts over about a sprite, you know?
Like, who's that girl?
Who is that?
Wow, man.
So does it feel a little bit like when you're working with your idols, is it almost then hard to find what's next to keep you excited?
It's really true.
It's very, no, honestly, you're right.
That's insane, bro.
It's something that you, after that experience, that experience probably should have came at the end of a career, but it came at kind of like the beginning.
So it's like, where do you go from there after you're coming off such a big high?
But yeah, I mean, I just want to do stuff that I'm really, really passionate about and with people who are really talented and know what they're doing.
Wow.
You're going to be dancing in this in the new film that you're going to be doing.
No, no.
No, no.
It's about disco in the 70s.
And I'm like one of the fathers of disco just because of the way this Giorgio Maroder did a lot of sounds and music behind the vocalist.
He was responsible for Donna Sommer in short.
But yeah, there's no dancing.
Oh, dang.
There's a couple of scenes I'm in, but there's no.
Although, if it requires dancing, I am more than happy.
Yeah, I just see you doing that, man.
I got to tell you, I grew up dancing.
Oh, yeah.
We went to the dance clubs.
That's all we did.
Y'all were like Sock Ops, YMCA.
What did you guys go to?
No, we went to, they used to call them dance parties.
And the sock ops.
this was on a Sunday night at a bar called Todo's.
Oh, yeah.
Which turned into a teen dance club on Sunday night, right?
So we'd go and me and my buddy Francesco had these shirts made up.
And on the back, and I said, talk about weird.
Your audience will love this.
We had on the back of the shirt Italian boys.
And we used to, me and him used to do the same moves with these shirts on.
So you guys are synchronized Italians?
Synchronized Italian dancers.
Like we would practice all week because we thought we were going to pick up girls because of the way we danced, right?
But this is like 80s.
So many hand movements.
Oh, there was a lot of stuff.
Your fucking buddy's eye out.
Your buddy's got on fucking.
There was a lot of up here.
The hands were always up by the head for some reason.
A lot of look-offs.
So that's what we got.
From 16 years old to about 22, I had a fake ID at 16. And my fake ID was unbelievable.
And whose was it?
Was it actually you or is it somebody else's me?
Wow.
It was me.
And it was my dad actually helped me get it.
And I used to buy alcohol for guys who were older than me.
We were going to the clubs.
I didn't really hang out in high school.
I didn't go to the basketball games, football games.
What we were doing was we were going to dance parties.
And then when we got the ID, we were going to bars.
So I was 17. I was hanging out at over 21 nightclubs and dancing.
I didn't wear the Italian boy shirt to the limited time.
Yeah, it was a limited, you know, a summer.
So great.
So, yeah, that's what we were.
That's kind of how I grew up.
That whole, you know, taking care of the car, you know, I used to drive a 1982 Seville with white walls, spoked rims.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Slanted back trunk.
Oh, yeah, that's sexy, bro.
With that out, with the outline of the spare tire.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
With a spoked rim on the back.
Oh, yeah.
Man, class is different now, isn't it?
It just, it's different.
Things feeling a little less classy.
Yeah, I think it's a lot less classy.
I just, there's like a decorum back then, at least where I grew up, that you kind of had respect for your elders.
You, you know, you just, if you did something, you didn't want to embarrass your family.
Yeah.
You know, like.
Now people sue their family as soon as they can hire a lawyer.
Like, I'm suing all of you motherfuckers for raising me.
It's gotten crazy.
It's crazy.
There's no family respect anymore.
It's different.
Well, the family dynamic is not there anymore.
You don't have the family anymore.
Everybody's too wrapped up in a video game.
And I don't mean to sound like some old man, but the way we grew up, and I think the way our family was structured was, you know, you sat at the kitchen table and you were talking to your parents.
There was no like, your attention span wasn't here or there.
It was like we're eating.
And, you know, we'd sit at the table for two hours just talking to my parents.
My parents were the type of parents where everybody wanted to hang out at our house because my parents were like, like the fun, you know, they loved my friends and talking to them.
Like the end of the movie in the book.
The Green Book, yeah.
Similar to that vibe where everybody's around and eating kind of like food brought everybody together.
But anyway, you just don't see that now.
It's just it's it's it still exists and I think people are longing for that.
But now it's like, you know, you go out to a restaurant, you see a family, everybody's on the on the on the device.
Everybody's dialed out, yeah.
Yeah.
And the devices are part of our lifestyle.
Don't get me wrong.
It's not like you have to totally put it away.
But even with our kids, we're teaching them, you know, you get it for a small amount of time.
And then after that, you know, let's get back to the Burata.
Let's fucking get into what this is over here.
There's no app better than Burrata.
All right.
I got a fucking hot batch of Burata that fell off a boat in Providence.
I want you to try.
Good on you guys then?
Yeah.
What you got, Johnny?
We just have one Patreon question for Sebastian.
All right.
And it is from Faye Dvorcek.
And if you were invited to a potluck dinner, what homemade dish would you bring and who would you bring?
Not your wife, someone else.
Potluck dinner, what would I bring?
There is a Sicilian dish called pasta taan, which is pasta layered with strip steak, pine nuts, some red.
It's a red sauce.
It's layered.
It takes a long time to hear about that a lot.
No, it's very, very specific to, actually, it's not even a Sicilian this.
It's a town in Sicily called Shuffaloo, where my father's from.
It's very specific to that town.
And who would I bring?
My father.
If it wasn't my wife, I'd bring my father.
My father's a character.
is?
He's a hairstylist, and he's where I pretty much get a lot of the...
Everybody loves my dad at the salon.
He must be so proud of you then, huh?
My dad is very proud.
He's 74. He's still cutting hair.
He's still young.
Well, I mean, 74 to be cutting hair.
I mean, it's like people, it's a young business.
It's not like people are walking in the salon going, I'll have the guy with the ARP card cut my hair.
You know, his cleaning.
Everybody's going to the military.
It's like getting kind of crazy.
Well, he's not a barber.
He's a stylist.
So he does women's hair.
He does colors.
He does all that stuff.
But he's had clients for 40 years and they're passing away.
They're dying.
And in the will, they are requesting my father to do dead hair.
So my father's going to funeral parlors.
And he loves it because they don't say nothing.
They don't ask.
He just does what he has to do.
He's just leaning over.
Hey, I did the hair.
Who would have fucking that suit's horrible, but hey, look above the ears.
That's crazy.
So, yeah, he's very proud.
My whole family is very proud.
Yeah.
Is it hard to embrace sometimes, like, how is it hard?
Like, I get worried sometimes as my career gets bigger that, like, you know, I don't want my family to ever think that I'm different or anything.
Do you ever worry about that kind of stuff?
No, I think, I mean, listen, I'm 46 years old.
I've been at this for 21 years.
I've been the same guy when I moved out here in 1998 that I am now, regardless of success or what has happened to me over the last three or four years.
Very, very grounded coming into Los Angeles with family and friends.
And no, I mean, my family is, you know, they treat me as if, you know, I was 21 or 24 years old when I first came out here.
There's no difference.
It's pretty much the same.
Yeah, I think I asked you that last time, too, and it was kind of a similar answer.
But that's awesome, man.
That's cool to hear.
It's inspiring and it's insightful.
Wow, man.
Living your dreams, dude.
Living the dreams.
And dreams that you didn't even have, dude.
The VMAs.
The VMAs.
And yeah, when I first came out here, it was stand-up comedy.
That's all I wanted to do.
Just stand-up comedy.
I didn't, like I said, put on any goal.
There's no goals.
It was just to do stand-up comedy.
And then whatever happened after that was like gravy to me.
So for me to be in the position I'm in to do all these really great things, I never take it for granted.
I'm very fortunate.
And I'm always wondering, you know, like for me, the fear is to try to stay consistent and not, you know, like whatever comes up is going to come down eventually.
But you kind of want to get to a certain place and just and really maintain, you know, like that's why when you go to my show, I'm always trying to rewrite new material just to bring the people back or, you know, go on shows like this and give more of a little bit of my personality and personal side of me so people get to know the ins and outs of who I am.
Yeah, and bringing people along on your journey, you know, because it's pretty cool.
I think, yeah, a lot of people just, they want to kind of know what it's like just from like a regular perspective, you know, not from like something that's very canned.
You know, they want it fresh out the garden, you know?
Fresh out the garden.
Yeah, you had this bit the other day.
You were talking about swimming, which is great.
I'm not going to talk about it because, you know, I know that, you know, people will be coming out to see it, but over at UCLA, that bit you were doing.
Yeah, so I'm swimming.
I started swimming.
I'm 46 years old, and I never learned to swim before.
And I'm taking swimming lessons at UCLA with an ex-Olympian who's German, actually.
Brother learned the accent at the same time.
One last thing.
So you were saying, let me get this thought right.
So did you start to worry at some point that if you got married or settled down or something, that it was going to damage your thinking process or your performance process or anything like that when it came to stand-up?
Early on, I thought that way.
I thought, hey, I don't want anything kind of impeding my process here of like touring.
I don't want a girlfriend telling me, hey, you can't go on the road because we haven't spent time together.
So early on, I thought, let me just get to where I need to get to.
And then, you know, then maybe I'll find someone, settle down, have a family.
I don't think I could have done what I'm doing now with kids and a wife 10 years ago just because of the amount of time and energy it takes to put in.
I told my agent, I said, book me wherever you can.
I don't care if it's Monday through Sunday in Las Vegas, 14 shows.
I'll do whatever it takes to establish an audience and whatnot.
So when you got kids and a family at home, that's very difficult.
I really don't know how guys do it.
It's amazing when I hear three kids and he's trying to get to the top.
But for me, the personality I have, I'm kind of all or nothing.
So now I just think it happened organically for me when I met my wife.
It just, it kind of all fit right place, right time.
This is, let's like, let's go on this journey together.
We'll start having kids when, you know, we could afford it and then available for the kids.
So yeah.
And early on, I definitely did not want to have a family and or a study that would kind of keep me from where I wanted to go.
Yeah.
Which is kind of selfish, but you have to be, though, a little bit of you have to have a little bit of selfishness to put the time and energy it takes to get to where you need to go.
There's a lot of sacrifice I think people don't really realize.
You know, like even over the years, like I've had to miss a lot of people's weddings, like events back at home.
I lost friends because I said I would be at the wedding and then I couldn't make it, you know, because I just got a new agent and they just got me a weekend and I didn't want to lose them, you know, just yeah, there's a lot of weird sacrifice that people don't understand sometimes.
Pets, come home, your fucking pet's dead, you know?
Yeah, I never had that happen.
Are you serious, really?
I never had pets.
Oh, there's a whole group of us that have fucking lost animals, bro.
Just because you went on the road.
Bro, man.
Oh, my God.
No, for me, it was no pets, no girlfriend, no kids.
And I totally relate to you when you said missing weddings.
I missed a really good friend of mine's wedding back in Chicago because I just didn't have the money to go and I had to work.
I was working as a waiter, you know, and unfortunately, I probably made the wrong decision at the time.
I probably should have found a way to go.
But yeah, you're right.
There's a lot of sacrifice you got to make if you want to succeed.
Hopefully you don't lose friends doing it, but it's the risk you got to take.
Man, best of luck, man.
Thanks so much for coming on.
Thank you for that.
And we'll put all of your stuff at the beginning and tell people about the film.
And yeah, man, it was so cool seeing you in the Green Book, man.
Well, thanks, man.
It was nice to see me up on the big screen.
It was pretty cool.
Did you start to feel yourself towards it?
Like you're like, oh, wow, I kind of got the hang of this a little bit?
Yeah, like, I mean, I think your assessment on the acting from front to back was that on accurate.
That first scene was, like I said, the first scene I've ever done.
And then As I shot that out of the cannon and got to know the director more, Peter Fairley was the director.
And, you know, here's another guy.
I love his comedy movie.
So it was another intimidating working with him.
And I was just hoping to get it right.
And then, you know, the scenes after that, I felt a lot more at home.
It's just like anything else.
You go to the first day of school, you don't know what to expect.
You're probably not yourself.
And then after you make a friend or two, you start to kind of let down your guard.
Hopefully, when I'm moving forward, I could act when I, when I, when it's the first day of shooting, I could act like it's the second week of school.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, a little more dialed in.
Yeah.
You know, maybe got a gun on your waist.
Maybe got a knife strapped to my back.
I don't know.
Sebastian Maniscalco, thank you so much, man.
Best of luck.
We look forward to seeing you everywhere.
Thank you, bro.
Now I'm just falling on the breeze.
And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found.
I can feel it in my bones.
But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking break and let myself unwind shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I will find a song I will stay there just for the runaway train with a heavy load of my past.
And these wheels that I've been riding on, they won't so thin that they're damn near gone.
I guess now they just were built to last.
Yeah, I'm gonna try to make sense of what I can where I'm going and where I'll be.
Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story Shine on me And I'll be the final song I will sing and just go And I will find the words to help you make it through If you call my name I sing in me
Shine I still can tell you what to call me Final song I will still help you Shine
oh
O'Brien Shine Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends, sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
So we are easy to do.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Do you know what I mean?
Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
Oh, no!
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
Second rule the Kai Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
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