Theo Von sits down with Donnell Rawlings. Donnell Rawlings Tour Dates http://www.donnellrawlings.com/whereisdonnellrawlings November 23rd – 25th 2018 / DC Improv / Washington DC November 29,2018 / St Andrews Hall1/ Detroit,M November 30.2018 / Varsity Theatre/ Minneapolis,MN December 1 /Athenaeum /Indianapolis This episode brought to you by… Omax3 https://www.tryomax.com/weekend FREE box of Omax3 with your first purchase! Hair Club https://www.hairclub.com/Theo Free hair analysis AND a free take home hair care kit – all valued over three hundred dollars MNML Case https://mnmlcase.com/ Black Friday Special: 1st 100 purchases to use code THEO30 receive 30% off Grey Block Pizza 1811 Pico Blvd. Santa Monica, CA http://bit.ly/GreyBlock Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn Aaron Jones Aaron Stein Addison Ardolino Adriana Hernandez Aidan Duffy Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Sideris Alexander Contreras Amanda Sherman Andrea Gagliani Andrew Valish Andy Mac Angelo Raygun Angie Angeles Anna Winther Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Harlan Austin Kehler Ben Ben Deignan Ben Limes Benjamin Streit Big Easy Bryan Reinholdt Bubba Hodge California Outlaw Calvin Doyle Campbell Hile Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Casey Rudesill Chad Saltzman Christian from Bakersfield Christopher Stath Clint Lytle Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Dan Draper Dan Ray David Smith David Wyrick Donald blackwell Dwehji Majd Felicity Black Felix Theo Wren Gabriel Almeda Garrett Blankenship Ginger Levesque Greg H Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jacob Ortega Jacob Rice James Ashmore James banks James Bown James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Bragg Jason Haley Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jerry Zhang Jesse Witham Joe Dunn Joey Desrosiers Joey Piemonte John Kutch Jon Ross Jonny Zaz Josh Cowger Justin L justin marcoux justin shuy Karen Sullivan Katy Doyle Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kevin Fleury Kiera Parr Kirk Cahill Kishalin kristen rogers Lacey Briesemeister Laura Williams Lauren Cribb Leighton Fields Logan Yakemchuk Luke Danton Mark Bentley Matt Holland Matt Kaman Matt Leftwich Matthew Azzam Matthew Price Matthew Sizemore Matthew Snow Megan Daily Meghan LaCasse Michael polcaro Mike Poe Mike Sarno Mitchell Watson Mona McCune Ned Arick Nick Butcher Niko Ferrandino Nyx Ballaine Alta Old McTronald Old Scroat Mccrackin Owen Lide Paddy jay Passenger Shaming Paul Flores Philip James Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Renee Nicol RinDee Robyn Tatu Ryan Crafts Ryan Forrest Ryan Jordan Ryan Kraenbring Ryan Walsh Sam Illgen Sarah Anderson Scott Lucy Scott Swain Shane Pacheco Shannon Schulte Stacy Blessing Stepfan Jefferies Stephanie Claire Steve Corlew Steven Sungmin Choe Suzanne O'Reilly thatdudewiththepaperbag The Asian Hamster Thee shitfaced chef Tim Greener Tim Ozcelik Timothy Eyerman Tom in Rural NC Tom Kostya Tom Reichardt Tommy Redditt Travis Vowell Ty Oliver Tyler Harrington Tyler Shaver Victor Montano William Morris Zech JohnsonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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slash weekend to get your free box of Omax 3 with your first purchase what's up guys happy Thanksgiving to you and yours we are thankful for you here and for being here with us whenever you're consuming this time this this this episode as well happy Thanksgiving Nick wanted to say something to you guys I just want to say happy Thanksgiving to all the listeners and enjoy that turkey and
that tryptophan that tryptophan dude look that's free dope isn't it yeah that's white people dope according to our guest today that's true that's white people dope according to our guest today today's guest is a friend of mine he's a confidant um he's a he's a retired uh u.s military serviceman i don't know if he's retired but i mean he ain't fighting today you know um he is someone that i look up to uh and uh no doubt he is one of the funniest people that i know he's he's coming to
tour in the next few weeks i think in indianapolis minneapolis and we'll have all those dates below and we'll have all those dates below right uh and detroit i think it is actually you may know him as ashley larry from the chappelle show uh it's my friend mr donnell rollins i'm
a little upset you are yeah because you've been trying to get me to come to this podcast for probably i'll say like roughly like a year yeah and then part of the lore but with friends i would come on anyway you was like yo we take care of our people we send cars for them and everything yep and if i remember i drove myself to your podcast today yeah and i talked to all my all your other friends the white people and everybody else had cars yeah i'm just trying to get a clear understanding on why i couldn't get a car and not only that i couldn't get a car
i i know that your guests come up here you offer them beverages yeah like um like mint tea wheat shots you know and and and and i'm a little upset because i don't know if this is racist whatever the cucumber part is definitely white okay the watermelon part did was it like a like did you guys like who was responsible for giving the black guys there's a survey online it says if you look up flavors that that you know urban people like right what urban people meaning people you
know from from inner city from from the city yeah overall are they like a specific are they a specific shade or anything or just anybody i mean is it reserved just the latinos or blacks i just want to get to the bottom of it and the reason why i want to get to the bottom of it i consider you to be a dear friend yeah and i know you went through some legal issues about a week ago yeah i did actually as as all of us always do and you they got you this they got you they got you and i and you get time you know what i'm saying yeah and i was excited to be here because i know if i can come to your
podcast that means you're home yeah you free yeah first off it's good to see you thank you man and with that said i brought you some gifts oh damn that's what's up it's almost like a care package most of you would probably need this when you was in the joint but i got you this thing coming out the joint because i care about you oh respect man i don't know if you want to you can you can save for later you can show people i'll show people man yeah i think open it all right yeah we got that hamburger helper boy oh salisbury yeah i couldn't you got to help yourself with the hamburger i
didn't get the hamburger throw me kind of messy if i bought it so that's the start son that's that start you know how many packs of cigarettes you get in the joint well you know because you was in the joint how many packs of cigarettes you could get for one box of hamburger helper oh probably two packs nah that's two packs of marlborough lights yeah because black people don't really smoke them too much but you could get a cart in the newports that's just just just for you to know the next time you're in respect man i really appreciate that let me see this second item oh that ramen that's another favorite where you came from son that's where if you meet a meet somebody in a joint you could treat them to something at the house yeah
if you got to pot the boy you know how y'all was feeling there oh i'll cook in the toilet usually but i wanted you to i you know just coming home i didn't i didn't want to put in your face that you was locked up but i still want you to know that people know what you're what you're what you're what you're what i was going through my struggle and this right there that rich and creamy boy and those were two dudes that i met in the joint actually but the creamy part you know what i'm saying i don't even like to use you just came home those words you can't use when you're locked up rich or creamy yeah but i just thought you don't you know you probably didn't have a lot of desserts
so you ain't even got it open and it's and it's i it's i couldn't get a new one oh damn yeah i felt like it was leaking but it still get the same thing just put on your thumb and go to work son yeah that's that baby bad huh yep that's definitely man that's that little treat and what is this oh one avocado huh because you got with all the other stuff i gave you with the sodium i got to keep you keep you healthy at the same time i like that man oh them spaghettios that's for thanksgiving son that's a special treat you don't that's
not no every day every day oodles and noodles you can eat those every day but if somebody care about you to send you that now we're talking good stuff right here and what is this that's mascara i don't know what you was into when you was dang yeah if you want to get back in touch or i don't know you got nice eyebrows you might want to touch them up that might not be for the streets that just for the bitches son yeah no i'll put some of this on sometime especially uh if i go back in oh and i got this power cable too yeah because i know you you probably didn't have access to your phone and
i'm gonna tell you in the gift bag everybody at some point they want an extra cord yeah and that's an iphone charger too so i get I got you that because I care about you.
Oh, thanks, man.
This is awesome, dude.
And have you, do you, is it common if you have like friends, like buddies of yours, that you'll give them like urban people?
Well, yeah, do you guys deal a lot in like, do you give, is that a common thing if you see a, like a friend, you know, or a black guy who's gotten out of jail, do you give them something?
Is there like a usual gift you'll give them?
I mean, the best thing you want to give them is advice.
Yeah.
A lot of them don't usually take that, and that's the reason why they're, why they're in there.
So a lot of my boys said, man, fuck all that advice.
What you got, you know, throw something in the bag.
Yeah.
And then when you come home, even if you wasn't really connected to that person, you know, like coming home is a big deal in the streets.
So you try to show them.
So a lot of people, some people give up money, clothes, whatever, but I'm not, you know, feeling like that.
So I try to give out little care packages.
And I took the time out to put those things together for you, son.
I appreciate it, man.
Thank you very much.
That's my nigga.
My nigga all day.
Dude, you're probably one of my 60 or 70 favorite diverse friends that I have or probably maybe even top 20, top 10. I don't really even believe that you have 60 or 70 diverse friends, son.
And I don't want to blow you up if I said name them.
Naming me three times is not the same thing.
And also, you can't use a Wu-Tang clan because nobody know how many Wu-Tang.
Anybody know how many Wu-Tang clans are the church?
It's little Wuz, man.
They got the new clan, man.
They got a new clan in town.
I had Frederick Douglass on that list, too, man.
So it goes deep, yeah.
I see you really pay attention to a Black History Month because a lot of people wouldn't even know who Frederick Douglass was unless it wasn't Black History Month.
I appreciate you for being in a place in a school where they taught you who Frederick Douglass was.
Yeah.
That's dope.
Where are you playing at next?
I got a tour now, the Funny Moves Tour.
We start Live Nation.
Our team with Live Nation.
And they're doing some small theaters to see if I make the transition from nightclub to the theater.
First stop is Detroit.
I think Detroit is on the 29th.
It is closer.
Detroit is on the 20th.
You can 2 back if you want.
Yeah, however you want.
Detroit.
Oh, I'm black, so I got to lean back.
Is that what it is?
You got a recliner?
Damn, black people.
I feel like you can't.
Where else?
Okay, you said Detroit.
I want to get through these.
Minneapolis?
Yeah.
Indianapolis.
Yeah.
Back to back.
29 to 30 for free.
That's a tough one.
That one.
Indianapolis, son.
Like, once you go past three or four syllables, I get stuck.
You know, I'm clapping mini anapa list.
It's too many for me, son.
But y'all know what it is.
Ride or die.
Gang gang.
Dude, that's it.
Gang gang.
Fix, son.
Free 6'9.
Oh, he's in, huh?
What do black people think about 6ix9ine?
They like, I mean, it's interesting because he's a...
Anytime anybody represents Brooklyn, you know, brothers want to attach themselves to that.
He's grimy.
But the same things that are street things that people, I guess, got connected with him is the reason why, yo, he's locked up now.
You know, I don't wish death or prison on anybody, but, you know what I'm saying?
You got to know something's going to happen to when you inviting people to suck your dick.
Fuck y'all, this, fuck y'all.
We got gas.
And it's so easy for the FBI and these tactical units to find these people because all they got to do is follow them on Instagram.
You know what I'm saying?
How do we know y'all was going to be gangbanging in Chicago?
Because you said pull up in Chicago.
So I wish the best for him.
I respect the fact that a kid at his age could troll enough where they could put themselves in a situation where they got financial gains.
They popular and he made it.
At the same time, the same things that you got popular for could be the death of you.
So for all the trolls, I need to be careful.
Do you think he's like the Rainbow Bobby Schmurder kind of a little bit?
It's Schmurder.
Sorry.
It's like, see, see, it's like put letters together that's like you can't, you can't do like schmurter.
That's like the N-word with the Er at the end of it.
No, use that.
Smurda.
Yeah.
And Bobby Smurder was the blueprint on how to get locked up.
And they from like the same area in Brooklyn.
I just don't understand why 6ix9ine didn't see it.
But, you know, I wish him well.
Don't drop the soap, son.
And, you know, hopefully, you know, a situation where the public can send him one of the care packages that I sent you.
Yeah, that's a good point, actually.
We should make a Bobby Schmurder.
We should make a 6ix9 care package and send him one.
Yeah.
That'd be awesome.
Rainbow Skittles.
What's he going to look like when he gets out, though, do you think?
Does the rainbow fade over time?
I don't know.
Well, if he comes out, he looks like we know something tragic happened.
We know that he didn't have soap on a rope, you know?
Yeah.
But the thing about it, he's only been charged.
You know what I'm saying?
Now, here's the thing.
If for some reason, you know, none of these charges stick, which is highly unlikely because the feds have 97% conviction rate.
If he beats it, then he's going to be mortal, man, in the streets.
And white kids, they could do two weeks in prison and come out and have a number one rap out.
I'm surprised you're not sitting in hot fire right now, son.
I might have to pull up with some hits.
You did four hours, son.
All you need to do is get two gunshot wounds.
You know what I'm saying?
Get shot three or four.
I think the number to be respected in the streets gets shot four times.
You just coming home after four-hour bed and you get shot four times, son.
You could go platinum.
I was stuck in traffic longer than I was in there, man.
And that's the whole thing.
I know for you to get a four-hour sentence and drive eight hours.
When you got off the bus, it was time served.
But you was hard.
You came back.
You're different.
So you probably got tattoos.
Oh, I feel different, man.
You should.
You feel different, man.
Have you ever been locked up or no?
Yep.
Really?
48?
Damn.
Hours.
Damn.
Us.
It was.
Who was in there?
You remember anybody that was in there?
It was just motherfuckers, son.
And it was just motherfuckers in there.
I did 48 hours.
And, you know, it was tough.
I didn't have no only weapon I had, because they gave us, you know about this, they gave us one of the little boxes of frosted flakes.
And you get a spork.
You know, a spork.
Oh, yeah.
A spork.
Yeah, it's like a cross between the spoon and a fork.
So I don't have a shank, but in the can, they don't know if you got a shank.
So what you do is I had the spork behind me like, I wish the fuck y'all would.
And then I would test it.
And I think they were scared of me because I would test my shank on the wall and it would bend.
The plastic part would be like that.
So it wasn't that gangsta.
I was in there for 48 hours.
You're never supposed to tell people what you're in there for, but I let people know suspended license.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Suspended license.
It was one of the days where, you know, normally when I drive, I use my blinkers.
Yeah.
You know, I let motherfuckers know I'm going to make it right.
But yeah, I was feeling rebellious.
I wasn't with that blinker shit.
So I looked right.
I turned left.
Police rolled over me.
They came up to me, rolled a window down.
And the police looked at me.
He said, I need to see your driver's license.
And I looked at him.
I said, look, y'all took my license two years ago.
Don't tell me y'all done lost my motherfucking license.
You know what I'm saying?
Boom.
That's what you know.
I mean, it can.
I did 48, but you know, I came home.
I got strong.
I got God.
Yeah.
I was a Muslim for two hours.
Are you really?
What about an Israelite?
Are you that?
Yeah, that's a new thing I feel.
Nah, because I used to have a thing for white chicks, so it's hard to be an Israelite and have jungle fever at the same time.
They don't go together.
It's got to be all about the sisters.
I like the outfits.
I like the outfits, but the things they preach, whatever, I'm not really for that.
And I like bacon, bro.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You can't do it.
Yeah.
Growing up, it was tough for me with religious because every time we got close to religion, every time we got close to a holiday, my mother would change our religion.
Damn.
Oh, save money.
Damn.
Like two weeks before Christmas, we was Muslims.
A week before my birthday, we was Jehovah's Witnesses.
And there's no disrespect to God or anything.
But I was like, man, fuck this, man.
I want a God to like toys and like bacon and like me to sleep on Saturday.
You know what I'm saying?
And I didn't really experience any of that until when I went to the military.
When I went to the military, because I was Muslim, Jehovah, all that.
When I went to military, I'm in a child hall, and they had a pan of bacon, son.
And this is when I quit being a Muslim.
They had a pan of bacon.
They had eggs, they had potatoes and everything.
They was like, what do you want?
And I said, bacon.
They said, what else?
I said, bacon.
They said, what else?
I said, bacon.
So I'm coming out of here.
I'm scared.
Bacon crazy.
And I'm baconed up.
So, you know, no disrespect to anybody practiced, you know, that are Muslims or the nation of Islam.
Slims.
We call them slims where I'm from.
Slims?
Yeah.
Yeah, but it was part of my life I got past it and I eat pork whenever I want to.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
I feel like bacon tastes better if you're a black guy.
Is that true or a black person?
And that's not like a racial thing.
I just think food seemed like, everything seemed like it tastes better.
Like music seems like it sounds better.
You say it tastes better?
If you are, like, I feel like maybe like, you know, Afam taste buds, you know, or African-American taste buds, kind of, they just, I feel like maybe you guys hear music differently.
You might taste differently.
The way you interpret things is different.
So you saying black people are good at eating pork and white people aren't?
I'm not saying that, man.
I mean, I think it tastes better.
For black people?
Yes.
I don't know about that, bro.
I don't know about that.
What they do?
Pork, pork, pork.
You know, you know, those guys, they love pork, but I'm saying, like, black people, I don't know if we taking spits and turning.
White people, y'all put the whole pig on the drunk.
We just want bacon.
Yeah.
Y'all want the snout.
Y'all want the heel and everything.
But I don't know if.
But if you look back historically, white people are violent.
They're violent like that.
Yeah, historically, they've done a lot of stuff.
I don't even want to get into that.
I do want to get into it, but yeah.
But do you think, though, that do you think, though, that there could really be like a thing where black people hear music differently than white people?
We hear it with rhythm.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, we hear it.
You know, like a lot of white people, they hear it with a one and the two and the three and the four.
But black people hear that same thing and they'll be like, ooh, nah, nah.
It's just more of a rhythm.
So I think our brains process rhythm a lot better than the average white person would.
But you have some like white, white guys.
In every neighborhood, there's always one white guy that black chicks say he could get it.
Wow.
You know, and that guy's usually the one with the rhythm.
It's not extended through the whole neighborhood, but it's always one guy that had a rhythm.
I don't think it was you.
Yeah.
But I'm pretty sure it's always one guy that had a rhythm.
Do you think that they have like do black guys from America look differently at black guys that come like say like there's a guy from Jamaica or there's a guy from like Zaire who just moved to America?
What's that relationship?
Oh man, that's when black guys feel white.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I'm just saying, I don't know what type of racism that caught or whatever.
You know what I'm saying?
But when somebody say, which black guy, which black guy you want to date, whatever, you got one say me, then we're like, it is me over here.
And that voice gets always like your voice.
It's a tough one.
It's a tough one.
You know what I'm saying?
That's a tough one.
That's wild, man.
Because sometimes it's like, yeah, I'm like, those types of people, those black people from Africa are so different.
I feel like than black people from America, you know?
Yeah, they go-getters.
They hustlers.
Oh, they're hustlers for sure.
Yeah, they're hustlers.
But it's funny, like, without hearing a black person, when you see them, you have an instant connection with them.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, you do?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you're like, oh, that's my nigga right there.
You know what I'm saying?
But then when they talk, like, when it's like this, who are you calling a nigga?
You know what I'm saying?
You're like, oh, no, no, that's not what I meant.
But just on the first look on skin, whatever, you have like a instant connection with.
Yeah.
That's cool, man.
Yep.
I get nervous sometimes.
You want to be black, son?
You ever thought about it?
Oh, yeah, I've thought about it.
Yeah.
When I was like, you know, from age, you know, 12 to 16, every white kid does, you know?
So then I definitely did.
But now I think I would want to be Mexican next.
I think for me, blacks still seem a little too risky.
I would wait one more.
Another year before you dabble?
Another cycle.
Like another life cycle.
Whoa, all right.
Like reincarnated one time, be Latino.
So it's risky now?
Just being black or risky being black, like in a car or something?
It's still too risky for me.
I get nervous a lot.
You know, I have fear and anxiety.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you get nervous now, you wouldn't be a good black person.
Yeah.
Nah, definitely.
You couldn't handle traffic stops.
Dude, do black people get nervous?
Because it always seemed like to me when I was growing up, I honestly don't know that black people never got.
I was like, fuck, black people do not get nervous.
Nah, we use different language.
Like, you call it nervous, and then black people might call it shook.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, was you nervous?
Nah, I was, it's the same definition, but were you nervous?
Nah, I was just a little shook.
Yeah.
I mean, we just don't identify with certain things like when it comes to like depression.
Yeah.
White people can identify with depression, anxiety, post, whatever, post-traumatic stress.
They could deal with that.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you ask a white person, are you stressed?
Yeah, I'm really stressed.
I feel a little depressed.
You ask a white person, you stress?
You stress?
Black person's like, nah, I ain't stressed.
I'm just a little fucked up right now.
You know what I'm saying?
Like that.
So it's the words you use.
You know what I'm saying?
And I know, like, like Charlamagne, the guy here has this book called Shook One, and he was talking about the stigma with black people dealing with mental issues.
You know what I'm saying?
And he's saying from a person that's paying a therapist $100 hour to talk to about problems.
Average black person from the hood can't afford a therapist.
What you could afford is a bag of weed, a bottle of Hennessy.
And that's what we look through.
That's how we deal with mental issues.
It's not the way it should be, but we don't use the same words because you get different drugs.
You know what I'm saying?
When you say I'm a little stressed out, anxiety, you get Prozac, Xanax, and all that type of shit.
If you say that to a black person, you get weed.
Somebody might try to give you a line of blow.
You know what I'm saying?
It's not the right thing to do.
But it's just different definitions.
I see.
And all of us have been a little fucked up right now.
But the whole thing about being a little fucked up right now is how you cope with things.
Coping is the number one thing you have to deal with with any mental issues.
Can you cope with it?
Yeah.
Do they have like unique mental issues that you think black guys get that white guys don't get?
I don't know if this is a mental issue, but a lot of black guys get, but white guys can't.
Well, they can, but like jungle fever.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't think that's a mental disorder, but it's something that's something that's a little taboo in the black community.
So is it scared?
Would you bring a white girl home to like a black Thanksgiving?
Never.
Wow.
I tried that once before.
Wow, I feel scared almost even thinking about it.
Nah, I wouldn't do that because I did it one time.
I brought this white chick home for Thanksgiving.
And the family, they was like, oh, you know, love is love.
And it was like, love is love.
And she showed up to Thanksgiving with tater top casserole.
And she showed up with white people potato salad.
Yeah.
And a potato salad, the ingredients were apple chunks, raisins, cinnamon, cranberries, stuff like that.
Hope.
Yeah, no cholesterol.
You know what I mean?
And black people really get upset if you bring the wrong potato salad.
So I wouldn't advise bringing a white chick home for Thanksgiving.
Christmas is another thing, but Thanksgiving, it's a lot of pressure.
It is.
Yep.
So I always have these weird theories, you know, man, and like, I don't think I'm racist.
Like, I think...
So which one were you dealing with?
I think there was moments when I was.
What type of racist are you?
I am.
You answer that question quicker than I answer a family view, son.
Give your family, your family will call it right now, like, good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer, William.
No, what type do you think you are?
I'm sorry.
I am the one.
I'm trying to be honest about my racism and try to get in so I can learn about it and learn from it.
I think I probably was more, I definitely have more racial anger towards black people when I was younger.
Probably growing up.
Was it racism or ignorance?
Because ignorance is the breeding ground for racism.
When you're an ignorant person, it leads you in a situation where you could be racist.
You know what I'm saying?
I think mine was fear.
Because I knew some dudes that were ignorant.
I knew dudes that drove around and fuck black people, N-word this.
And I wasn't that, you know, and my mother wasn't that and my father wasn't that.
Like, you know, so, but I would get like, you know, there was just always, you know, like I rode on the bus with the black kids to school.
So it was like, you know, the poor kids.
I don't, I don't.
The poor kids.
I don't necessarily.
All right.
So where was that, the front or the back of the bus?
This is a good answer.
I stayed in the middle.
I stayed right in the middle.
Because the back is where we keep it real.
You know what I'm saying?
The snitches sat in the front.
The fun people, the people like myself, spitballs and airplanes, that was in the back.
And like people that were confused, didn't know which way to go, sat in the middle.
Yeah, I sat in the middle, man.
I was scared.
But I would get like, you know, black kids were like, there was like, you know, kids would fight.
The black kids were always like stronger and tougher.
So I felt like they were like, if there was fights, they would always win the fights.
And so I think I just had a lot more fear probably about, you know, I got jumped a couple times.
I'm black?
Yeah.
So I think I had more fear.
But then I also had just as many like buddies that were black because they were loose like me.
Like their parents, they were doing whatever they wanted just with a bike and just riding.
Yeah, but if you got beat up by, I don't care what color person it was, I would have racism too.
Like if I got jumped in the age of 12 by a whole bunch of Asian dudes, I would never watch a comfort movie for the rest of my life.
So I got to side with you on that.
Whatever race beats you up with your kid, fuck no motherfucking dude.
So I think it just made me scared.
But I think there's also this thing I felt like, like you want to, there's this obsession with black culture that people want to be, they want to relate to it so much.
It's cool.
If you go to any other country, whatever, the people that they emulate the most, especially like with hip-hop, is black culture.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know that it goes back to, you know, when black folks were all, you know, black folks were always in entertainment.
I don't know where it comes from, but for some reason, people are curious about that lifestyle.
Yeah.
Well, knowing two black friends is better than having fucking cable these days.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
But as far as entertainment goes, knowing two, just spending time with, you know, black people like to laugh more.
They like to, there's just more shit going on.
I was somebody that got shot.
Like there's just black people like to laugh harder.
Harder.
Like you do a black comedy club, you know if they like you.
Yeah.
You know, if you get a, oh, shit, stop, stop.
This motherfucker, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Stop it.
They let you feel it.
And it's so weird because I came up from the black circuit, you know?
So, I'm used to people doing when I do my shows.
If you rip it, you can feel it.
Then I start doing the mainstream and crossover stuff, and I start doing white rooms.
And sometimes it was hard to tell because you'll get a chuckle, they'll point to you like this.
No, that's funny.
Oh, that's a great dick, or this two thumbs up, yeah.
Thumbs up, and like I couldn't understand.
I would do shows sometimes, I get off stage, I was like, I hate that.
They would come in like this.
Oh my God, you fucking killed, bro.
The way you set up and the premise and the callback you use, I'm like, I don't want you to break down comedy, motherfucker.
I want you to laugh.
But also in the black community, in the black comedy club, you have the joke haters.
Yeah.
The motherfuckers just angry for anybody.
And joke haters, they always like ventilators.
Joke haters laugh like this.
You know, you'll say some funny shit.
They like, za, you good, you good.
You was funny, but you wasn't funny, funny, funny, funny.
But white people, white people, when they like you, they fucking get on the Yelp reports.
They're the only people that do the comment cards.
If you look at a comic card, any comic club, there's never going to be a Steinberg.
I mean, there's never going to be a Johnson or Smith.
Fuck that comic club.
White people are like, oh my God, who is my favorite?
They leave comments and they always sign up for the email list.
They always, white people are everybody's guest book, son.
When the show is over, it's like, I noticed you didn't mention anything about your guest book.
Is there a place where I can sign up for your newsletter?
Black people just like, how did you know about it?
Nigga told me, son.
Who told you about the show?
The streets, nigga.
The streets, son.
Do you miss when you see, do you, like, sometimes what I miss, like, old school black guys, like, now it seems like a lot of the black guys are like a little softer, like a little bit.
Like, I saw a black guy with glasses the other day.
Like, you'll see.
There's nothing wrong with, yo, that's so disrespectful, sir.
There's nothing wrong with the glasses.
Everybody at some point, like, probably wear glasses.
Now, the disrespectful motherfuckers, they always got to let you, they think it's a level of intellect when they just keep pushing it up.
Oh, yeah.
I hate the ones that like enforce a part of, like, like, let me tell you.
Those people in glasses, but you shouldn't, you know, just because a black person wear glasses, I don't think you should form any other opinion about them because of that.
Motherfuckers got to read, bro.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm just real fucking, I feel like it seemed like it was just different black kids when I was growing up than there are now.
You know, like they had a black guy the other day with asthma that I met, and that shit fucking.
Yo, every black person I knew growing up growing up had asthma.
Oh, really?
Yo, when you live in projects with metal, lead pipes and shit like that, you're going to have some respiratory issues.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Go to Cleveland.
Anywhere in New York, lead pipe shit, you're going to have asthma, son.
Yo, when your parents are smoking Newports in the bathroom, son, you're going to have an asthma puff, son.
I'm just saying, that's some shit that just happened, son.
You wasn't no real nigga if you didn't have asthma when I grew up, son.
Yo, you ain't got asthma.
You can't hang with us, son.
Oh, nah, asthma having ass, motherfucker.
Well, your asthma at?
You better have some asthma around this bitch, son.
Dude, we had a girl named Asthma Wilson, too, in our junior high.
What about?
Asthma, yeah, but white people have allergies.
Yeah.
Hold on.
I'm going to tell you.
I met a fucking black guy who said he was feeling dizzy, bro.
And that shit fucking shit.
Dude, that means he was a little fucked up right now, son.
Yo, I'm telling you, man, they have allergies.
White people have allergies.
And they let their allergies be known.
I can't get on a flight now without some white person stopping me from getting that tissue bag of peanuts, man.
Get a motherfucking train, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, guys.
Hey, 300 people.
Michael Herbenwich.
I'm just trying to come up with a white name.
Has an allergy problem to peanuts.
So now nobody can have peanuts.
Get the fuck out of here with them allergies.
Fuck that, man.
But what about this, though?
You do, when I was young, like now they have more, it seemed like black diseases.
Like when I was young, they had diabetes was popular.
That's still strong.
And blood pressure.
Right, that's still strong.
But now there's other stuff, you know, it's like other, you know, there's a black guy had chickenpox.
I remember the other day.
Nah, that's not, that's motherfucker.
What is that?
Yeah.
They got vaccinations.
Yo, yo, you get chickenpox in the United States, son.
Yo, your health care is not up, son.
That shit is only supposed to be in Africa and motherfucking Haiti and Thailand.
So you should not be able to get chickenpox in America.
But I'm just saying, black people are getting like weak diseases that used to be only white people would get.
It seems like that's something, you know, like.
The only black diseases I know is going to always stand the test of time.
The itis.
Yeah.
You know, I think every black person I've ever went to school with or grew up with all had the itis.
What is it?
The itis is.
It's like autism?
No, itis is something like, like in the black community where, okay, let's say you eat a lot of food, you get tired, want to take it.
You know what I'm saying?
That white people have a name for it during Thanksgiving.
It's something that's released in Turkey.
Tryptophan.
See, and a white guy knew the answer to that, right?
It was a black dude's like, nah, I don't know what you're saying, son.
You know, but that's one disease that's very, very, very strong in the black community.
And there's never going to be a cure for the itis.
Yeah.
When you get the itis, no, like when you eat a lot and then you feel, oh man, I got to lay down.
I got to get the itis.
Yeah.
And you usually get it from stuff like steaks, cheeseburger, ribs, ribs.
If you eat ribs, it's like, that's like you and you inducing it.
You make it happen to yourself.
But black people have had the itis for years and will probably continue to have the itis.
And I know that Reverend Al Sharp is at a point.
It's like, he's a vegan right now.
So he don't really.
Yeah, he's a vegan.
What is that?
How do y'all treat that?
That seems not like a black thing to do.
In the black community, we think, I know this is so fucked up.
If you're vegan, we think you're gay at the same time.
You know what I'm saying?
And look, man, I feel you.
In our community, like, just changing your diet, you could be.
Black people are so homophobic.
Like, changing your diet could cause some a lot.
You know what I'm saying?
Go to like a hamburger spot with a black dude and you order your cheeseburger with like blue, with like Swiss cheese or cottage cheese.
They'll be on the phone.
They'll be on the phone.
Oh, not cottage cheese, Swiss cheese.
Blue cheese.
If you order blue cheese, if you order blue cheese around.
That's a gateway drug to deal with.
That's a gateway.
They'll be on the phone like, yo, this motherfucker changed, son.
I just caught this motherfucker eating with a burger with blue cheese.
Not that he chose better cheese, but I caught him eating it.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't put mayonnaise on your burger.
You're going to be some issues, son.
And you don't got to answer to me.
You got to answer to the streets.
Is that the life you want?
That's the perception you want people to have of you, that you eat burgers with Swiss cheese and cottage cheese.
Oh, I never eat it.
Crumbles and shit like that.
Man, that's gross, bro.
Straight up crafts, deluxe, all day.
Represent Brooklyn.
You know?
That's just it.
Damn, that's why over here.
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Yeah, man, I think I could be, I think if I was if you were, if you're mixed, is it better to have a black mom or a white mom and a or a black dad or white dad?
Like, what's the ideal?
That's a tough one because I, that's a tough one because I have friends that are on both sides of the mixed ecology.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying?
I just think, um, I think the dopest thing because when you're like, when you're, when you're a mixed kid, like, people automatically like, you're black.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll give you an example.
I dated, I dated this chick, and she was biracial.
Her mom was white, and her dad was black.
And then one thing I respected about her is that she respected both sides of her family.
It wasn't just like black this.
She understood.
You know what I mean?
She understood that she was black.
She understood that she was white.
You know, when we would go out, her white side would make sure we were always on time.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like we were always ahead of everybody.
And that's when I connected with her white side.
But at the same time, the black side of her, we would be early, but we wouldn't have a home, a housewoman gift.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I mean?
But she just walked out front.
But I think, man, that's a tough one.
I just think, like, in the case that you have parents with two different backgrounds, it's good to represent both sides of your family.
Both sides.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's interesting, man.
Yeah, I think sometimes there's always like, yeah, I always felt like I wanted to maybe, I don't know if I wanted to be black, but I felt like I just, I don't know, sometimes I wanted to relate to some of those kids.
They just seemed like they were having more fun.
They seemed braver than me when I was young, like some of the black guys that I knew.
How was it?
Did you, did you, I know you were locked up for only like four hours.
Yeah.
But did you, did you meet any black friends in there?
Oh, I wouldn't say friends.
They had a couple of dudes.
There's one black dude, dress, everybody called him dress, and it was short.
He's a transvestite?
I don't, I think they called him dress to kill, but it might have been.
I thought he wore a dress.
Nuh-uh.
They call him dress.
And he looked like the kind of dude that was just going to fuck everybody, but only around the holidays, you know?
He seemed like all year he stayed.
That's a Christmas gift?
That's what he calls it.
He seemed like something that just came.
Like his dick was hibernating all year, and then it was like a shit.
Did you get a gangster name while you were locked up?
Like Thug Life Theo or anything like that?
No.
Some of the Latinos, bro.
I'll tell you who's scary in there these days.
The Latinos, bro Oh yeah, Latinos Because Latinos, they...
They had black dudes in there like kind of trying to lighten their skin.
They was trying to look Mexican.
What they had a home default outfit?
They did have the orange outfit.
That is looking Mexican.
Nah, black people don't fuck with Latinos, man.
What is that?
Are you guys scared of Latinos, dude?
Be honest.
Yeah, I'll say like those M32s or M15s.
I don't know what number it is.
But like when I was growing up between DC and Alexander, Virginia, the El Salvadorian community was coming in strong.
Really?
I think it was part of some civil rights.
I mean, some civil war, and they were coming here for asylum.
But for some reason, they just migrated in this one area.
And we didn't know the difference.
Where I grew up, it was only blacks and whites.
So anything I said, we call them the foreigners.
And black people, I ain't going to front.
They were scared of them because they came over in this country.
They didn't have guns.
They didn't have a sword.
They had machetes, machete.
And when you start seeing trails of thumbs and fingers, people not shooting, shooting is one thing, shooting is one thing.
That ain't gangsta.
Anybody can shoot somebody, but when you actually have a piece of metal and you put it in somebody, look on their face and twist it, that would scare the shit out of anybody.
Black people don't mess with the M13s and Russians, bro.
Russians are crazy, bro.
Yeah.
What is it about them?
They don't have any...
I think it was Rocky, man.
Uh-uh, man.
It wasn't a movie.
Russians don't have...
Imagine that.
And you never seem to be quite honest.
They just got that hard, that rock exterior, man.
People stay away from that, man.
Black people not messing with no Russians, and they're not messing with no El Salvadorians.
Them M13s, no disrespect to the number.
I forget what number it is.
M13.
I don't know what it is, something.
Donald Trump.
MS13.
MS13.
White people know them.
White people know the 13. We have a chart at home of who to.
What number not to mess with?
Well, it says, like, you know, they have that like fire chart where it's like today's fire warning is yellow.
You know, we have that.
Like, today's racial warning is, and then it's whoever we're supposed to be aware of.
I need to get that because I'm afraid of certain people myself.
Dude, what about Asian people?
When I see, like, how do black and Asian people relate to each other?
Because I have no concept of that, you know?
Well, black and Asian people get along as long as it's not a situation where a black person is going to the grocery store.
Because it doesn't really matter how much of a friend you are.
Black people will rob you.
No, no, they're going to follow you.
They'll follow you.
Asians will?
Yeah, they'll follow you.
They'll follow you.
Oh, in the grocery store?
Yeah, in the grocery store.
But also, all those movies where the black guys come in and shoot up the grocery store probably has a lot of those Asian counter people skating.
I don't know those movies, Bill.
Really?
I don't know.
They just come and shoot up the grocery store.
What movie is that?
Yeah.
I think you just made it up, bro.
But that'd be the news.
It might be a news.
I'll tell you, here's the situation.
The situation with Asians, me being prior military and stationed in Korea.
Oh, yeah.
You have such a different perception.
What Asians hate about Western civilization the most is having no respect for elders.
You know what I'm saying?
When I was stationed in Korea in the Air Force, that's one thing.
It didn't matter what your financial status was or whatever.
You had a certain level of respect just because that person was older than you.
You know what I'm saying?
No matter where you're from, whatever.
And then when they come over here and then they see, like, and it's not just for black people, any kid.
Like, it's disrespectful.
This is America.
And they're saying you being disrespectful to elders, I think, they can't really connect with that.
Because I have some really cool Korean friends that, because they know that my background in the Asian community in Korea, they know that I understand things that upset them.
I got love for them.
That's interesting.
Yeah, because I guess one thing that I never, one thing you never learn about is just how different, all I kind of knew growing up was just how black and white people were kind of relating to each other.
Like we didn't have enough diversity.
And you never hear about that.
Like I never know how blacks and Latinos relate to each other or how Asian people do.
But I think this would how it should be how we should relate to stuff at the end of the day.
No matter what your color is, no matter what your sexual preference is, you got good people and bad people.
You know what I'm saying?
And like, you know what I mean?
It's as much as divided as our country is, it's not like that everywhere.
I agree.
You know what I'm saying?
You and I, we are good friends.
You know, we see each other in the club, whatever.
Sometimes we have differences.
I love politics and some other stuff.
But at the end of the day, at the end of the day, we have respect for each other.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I don't, even with our past election, you know what I'm saying?
Some people, I don't ever understand how people get upset because somebody chose to vote for whoever they chose to vote for.
You know what I'm saying?
That's your choice.
But this past election was interesting because a lot of people were upset during this election.
Black people were upset.
Asian people were upset.
Gay people were upset.
But white people were really upset.
And the difference between white people anger and black people anger was black people angry was protesting Black Lives Matter.
And white people was like, okay, we'll see about that in the morning.
They pull their pants up and they went to the polls.
You know what I'm saying?
And anytime you see a white person do it like this, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't care if it's politics or whatever, it's going to be some change.
I'm telling you, if a white person is like, it's about to be some change.
You better exercise your right to vote and you make the change, son.
You know what that is.
That shit is hilarious.
But dude, black people, low-key, you guys have got to love Donald Trump because he has like a hot white.
Let me tell you what I'm saying.
He's like a part of me in a rap video, it seems like.
This is what people don't understand about the whole Donald Trump thing.
Black people used to love Donald Trump.
In the 90s, almost every rapper, when you connected something with a lifestyle, like Playboy, baddest bitches, queens, women, no disrespect.
Don't meet too me on that.
Where, you know, the lifestyle that they wanted, the baddest chicks, the baddest car, the baddest houses, the money, the yachts, and everything.
That's what everybody was rapping about.
And who had that type of shit?
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump did.
You know what I'm saying?
Donald Trump would, Donald Trump would do cameos and videos.
But that's the Donald Trump that they knew.
Not so much he cared about black people, but he was a fun guy, party, turn up.
And it wasn't until even when Donald Trump was on Apprentice, they saw a shark, somebody was hungry, they saw somebody successful.
And they were admired that.
They admired that.
But it wasn't until the ugliness came.
You know what I'm saying?
It wasn't until the ugliness came that people started switching him.
Not just black people, but other people.
And then his people.
People were turned off by him, by his attitude.
Here's the thing.
Donald Trump totes the economy.
The unemployment, black job rate, and everything.
He totes how well the economy is doing.
And on my Instagram, I posted something.
Someone said, Well, the last time I checked, the economy was doing well.
And my answer to that person was, don't confuse economy with humanity.
And it's hard to cheer and root for somebody with the success he's having when you create such a diverse situation.
You motherfuckers want to be happy.
Yeah, but we want to be happy for the economy, but at the same time, you shitting on John McCain.
You shitting on war heroes.
He's not a good human.
He's not a, he does not.
Yeah, he makes you, as a person, you don't, it's hard to really.
It's hard to.
And then what you got to understand, people are always like jobs, jobs, jobs.
First of all, I don't subscribe to the notion that there aren't jobs in America.
I agree.
If it wasn't jobs in America, you wouldn't have motherfuckers over here swimming, being on rafts and everything to get these jobs.
The whole thing is Americans are selective of the jobs they want.
You know what I'm saying?
You can get a job.
You know what I'm saying?
Now, it might not be the job that you want, but you can get a job.
Not being able to get a job in America is bullshit.
You're lying.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you know, and in certain communities, like certain communities, a job wouldn't even make it.
Like in the hood, a job could walk in the hood.
Yeah.
Shake a motherfucker's bed and be like, who is this?
I'm a job.
And the mother wake up and be like, this man, what the fuck are you doing in here, bro?
Ain't nobody looking for you, man.
Go down to Home Depot.
They looking for you down there, man.
I thought you was the weed dude.
So that's what I'm saying.
That's what they need inspiration.
They need humanity.
They need the flip side of, okay, now everybody's like, we got jobs, we got jobs.
Now people are going to go look for them.
You know what I'm saying?
You got jobs.
And me personally, some people just mad at a party.
Right.
I'm not mad.
I'm not mad at all.
I'm not like that.
I'm not mad at it.
I would have no issue with a Republican president that had someone, more of a moderate.
You know what I'm saying?
Someone that understood because I'm not.
He understood humanity.
He doesn't understand people.
He doesn't, yeah, he does not have a comfortable tone with people.
He doesn't, because he's probably never, he probably was never really cared about much growing up, like in a way where he felt it.
He never felt what someone else is going through.
Right.
Like even with the stuff with these, the campfires in LA or whatever.
You know what I'm saying?
When people are losing.
Yeah, he said crazy.
You can't say some of that stuff.
And then he says it.
And then people gravitate toward that.
And it's so fucked up because I know friends that have friends that voted for Donald Trump.
And they say, as much as I still want to be friends with them, it's just hard for me to connect with somebody that loves someone with that energy.
You know what I'm saying?
And it doesn't have to be that way.
He was a phenom.
The same way Barack Obama was, he was a phenom.
You know what I'm saying?
But the frustrating thing to me is like, when Obama was in office, he took his lumps.
He wasn't like, Bush, this, Bush, that, Bush.
He said, okay, I got it from here.
I'll take it from here.
Yo, Trump, you won.
Don't be a sore loser.
Why do you have to, like they say in the hood, keep my name out your mouth?
Why do you got to keep on trying to not?
He does a lot of that.
If you think about it, Obama's campaign slogan and Trump's campaign slogan meant the same thing.
If you think about it, when Obama was running, he could have ran on the slogan of make America great again.
You know what I mean?
His definition would have probably been a lot better than Donald Trump's.
That's right.
Either one could have won.
And Donald Trump could have had change.
And both of them was just these candidates that they needed something different.
People like Donald Trump's base felt like they needed something different.
You know what I'm saying?
When Bush was, with the transition from Bush to Obama, it didn't matter who the fuck became president.
They needed some type of difference.
So both of them, they was the rock stars.
This was a moment.
There was a rock star moment.
And then black people get upset.
Like, just look at it like this.
You lived in a lifetime where you saw a black president.
And not just a black president.
You saw a good guy.
You saw a good president.
And you saw a president you felt cared about everything and everybody.
Right.
That's it.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
You definitely feel.
Yeah.
With Obama, you felt like he cared, you know?
Like, I voted for Obama twice, you know, and like, and you felt like he cared.
You know?
One of my friends, he was a CEO of this tech company, Silicon Valley.
He was like, and this black guy, he said, Donnie, first off, you know, there's no reason.
He's like, like, Hillary was a flawed candidate.
She was flawed.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, she just fled.
Like, she was flawed.
And people hated her so much that they showed love in favor of Donald Trump.
But this is another thing, too.
And this is so important.
And you saw the change with the midterms and everything, is that people have to understand the importance of voting.
And like making your vote.
Oh, I agree.
And I'm going to tell you something.
One thing, as Hillary Call them Deplorables and people talk about these rednecks and these motherfuckers, these rest tapes, whatever.
One thing, and this is no disrespect, but like for somebody that's trailer trash, trailer park type stuff, one thing they don't, they always want to exercise is their right to vote.
They don't have to have teeth.
They don't have to have jobs.
They don't have to have anything in life, but they're going to exercise their right to vote.
But that's how you do change.
Yeah.
But don't you think, like, I feel like sometimes like people are, somehow they've got us all tricked in some ways, these parties, because, you know, black people have voted Democrat for a long time.
Poor black people have voted Democrat for a long time.
Poor white people have voted Republican for a long time.
But it's like, how long do we keep voting those ways and we're still in the same trough?
Yeah, but the thing is that you're going to vote for whatever party.
Well, that's hard.
It's hard crossover to get.
It's hard crossover to get for most black community to even think on the Republican side.
I do understand that.
But it's going to be somebody that has your similar views and your ideas.
Because even on the Republican side, Jeb Bush, I was a fan of his.
And the reason why I was a fan of his because I understand that he was from the Bush family, but he felt like the mama's boy.
You know what I'm saying?
He felt like the Bush that would have had heart enough to say, this is wrong to these people.
You know what I'm saying?
He's the one that I would say would probably be a Republican that shifts closer to the moderate side to anything.
You know what I'm saying?
I was a fan of his, but being the president now, it's not all about who you think and heart.
It's the charisma, it's the charm, and how do you pop?
Yeah.
And he couldn't pop.
It's turning in in the WWE a little bit.
Do you feel that?
Do you feel like everything's kind of turning into the wrestling?
Yeah, it's unfortunate.
And what, what, it's, it's like, like, everything now, it's really like a reality show.
It's really like knowing how to manipulate the media.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
You know how to manipulate the media.
You could win at anything.
And this was proven with Donald Trump being president.
Was he the best candidate?
Was the best president for the job?
Not so much.
Yeah.
But he knew how to work the media.
He knew how to work the system that they built.
He knew how to get motherfuckers compared to American Idol.
How do you get people like, yo, text so-and-so for your winner?
He knew how to make people, he knew how to excite them.
He knew how to make people move and go do something.
That's what he wanted.
But in some ways, didn't you feel a little bit after he got elected like, holy shit, man, I could be president?
Did you feel that for a second?
Like, fuck, anybody could be president?
Yeah, but I really felt more of that when Obama was president because that was the one I could see that.
That's the one excuse black people, they was holding on to it.
You could say anything.
Yeah, so-and-so.
Yeah, but there ain't going to never be no black doctors.
We got more black doctors.
It ain't going to be no black astronauts.
We got black astronauts.
They do?
Yeah, we got black astronauts.
We got black everything.
This was the only thing that we didn't have.
You know what I'm saying?
So for all the black people to make excuses, when Obama got elected, it's like he proved that there's no more excuses.
And even when Obama, I know this has nothing to do with comedy.
Even when Obama, I went to a bar, all black people wasn't happy about Obama.
I even went to a barbershop one time and this brother, they was talking, he was like, I don't fuck with Obama.
I was like, he was like, yeah, what if, he said, what has Barack Obama done for black people?
And I looked at him, I said, he won, motherfucker.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Was he going to be a great president?
Nobody knew about it.
Nobody.
I don't think anybody can be a great president.
Yeah, but the fact that he won shows you that.
It was inspiring.
It's inspiring.
But the trick of that was like, every black person thought they could be president.
It's a dude like this, yo, Obama black, I'm black.
He played basketball.
I played basketball.
You know, I could do that shit.
No, you still got to stay out of trouble.
You still got to have an education.
Yeah.
And you still got to be a dope citizen.
You can't just like, because I'm black, you can do it.
So, yeah, that excitement was gone.
Sometimes I think to me, and this is just a perception of mine, and this could be ignorance too.
It seems to me that, or sometimes I think or I feel that, yeah, that the black, some of the black community, like there is a ton of opportunity these days.
And some of the things, the only thing that I feel like holds some black people back is just their lack of desire in some places.
That's man.
Not just for black people.
That's what anybody.
Right.
Anybody.
And I think that's what I'm saying.
So why do you think I see that?
Why do you think I feel or see that more as a white person?
Or why do you think about this?
You're probably not around enough black people that don't make excuses.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
If you limit yourself to a couple of people, a handful of people, you don't see the exact.
And I grew up in the South and there wasn't, when there's no opportunity.
Of course, like the South is a different animal a little bit because there's decades and generations.
I'm a strong believer in like there are no, look, here's the thing.
You have two excuses.
You have a good excuse and a bad excuse.
And at the end of the day, there's still excuses.
As a comic, you know what I'm saying?
You could have a show like at night.
Say you got a show at 12 o'clock.
You just found out like one of your aunts or your uncles or whatever just passed away.
You got a good excuse not to go to that show.
You know, you know, I'm not feeling right.
That's my excuse.
It's still an excuse.
And you got a bad excuse not to go to a show.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, man, I got a cold or something, something stupid.
You know what I mean?
But at the end of the day, it's still excuses.
So as much as not just black people, just for anybody, stop making excuses.
It's so easy to make excuses.
What you going to do?
What you going to do?
And that goes, I relate that to comedy.
You see, you've been in the game for a long time.
You see motherfuckers trying to get stage time and stuff.
And they'll say, oh, yeah, but they don't really like me in that club.
They don't really mess with women.
And then you ask that same comic, where do you perform?
I perform at this one club.
It's over Mike.
And you say, how did you do?
Oh, my set was okay.
No, motherfucker, that ain't enough.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
And I tell this to all young comics, you know, any doors you want open, it's going to come through the microphone.
When you ripping, when you not just 50-50, I'm talking about when you demolishing everywhere, you can't be denied.
You know what I'm saying?
Don't make excuses.
Make yourself undeniable.
You know what I mean?
Okay, I don't do five spots a week.
I do two, but when you do those two spots, kill them.
And those two spots will turn into three spots and five spots.
I even use myself as an example with me in the comedy scene in California.
I came up as a New York comedy.
When I first came here, people knew me from the Chappelle show.
They don't need, a lot of people didn't know me as a stand-up.
And a lot of clubs didn't know.
Oh, he's a funny dude on TV, but whatever.
And I used to drive down Sunset and Hollywood, and I used to names up there on the marquee.
And I'm looking at those names, and I'm not disrespecting them.
I'm like this.
I'm on that level.
I should be there.
I'm not.
I'm not making excuses.
I'm not going to say, fuck that.
I don't want to go through the work to get there.
And gradually, I told myself, I want to be, when I'm in town, I want to be on every marquee.
That's a test of who's popping in the city.
And it might not mean a lot to a lot of people, but for me, when I can drive down sunset and I see I'm on a marquee at the store, go to the laugh factory, I see I'm on the marquee at the laugh factory.
Go to the improv, I see I'm at the marquee at the improv.
Go to Ha Haas, which is club a lot of people don't fuck with.
It's a great place.
It's a great place to work.
When you see that, you feel accomplished and you feel accomplished and you say to yourself, I didn't make excuses and I deal with it a couple of times.
Like, oh, they don't want to let me on.
And they let that motherfucker on.
You just take your lumps, come back the next day, and you build your shit.
And the reason why I'm saying is like, in life, period, there are literally there's no more excuses.
That's true.
Either you're going to do it or you're not going to do it.
And you look around us, we got too many examples of it.
And I feel we got examples of people that we don't necessarily agree with, like, say, from a stand-up.
But you got now, we in an age where you could make yourself the shit on your phone, yeah, in front of your computer.
It's not the time when I came up with three or four networks, you knew your own network, so you definitely got people that six nine is a perfect example.
Yeah, they wasn't trying to fuck with him, the energy wasn't trying to fuck with him.
He said, I'm gonna fuck with myself.
I don't need y'all for anything.
Yeah, that's a great statement.
I'm gonna fuck with myself.
Yeah, I'm gonna fuck myself, and I can make it happen.
Yeah, I had a manager before.
I don't have a manager right now, and I had a manager.
And I remember one time I had this thing I was trying to do when I was traveling on the road, and I was having, and I was like, I want to shoot it and put it on YouTube.
And he's like, well, let's put it together and go out and shop it around.
So then we did that for like a year and nobody, you know, it was back and forth.
But in the meantime, in that year, I didn't, you know, I did it some, but I was waiting now more for these networks to decide if I was going to have an opportunity.
Whereas if I would have just been making it the whole time, it would have been huge and it would have been something at the finish line.
Whereas instead, I let them decide, okay, the finish line is now and we don't want it.
Build your own thing.
I'll give you two great examples of that.
Bill Burr, Kevin Hart.
When I was doing, when we were doing Chappelle show, at the time, Bill Burr was bubbling.
Bill Burr was bubbling.
He wasn't.
I'm going to say that 10 times fast, huh?
No, the reason why I'm saying that because he was bubbling.
You saw him in the club.
He was like, you go see certain clubs and you're like this.
This motherfucker's going to blow.
This motherfucker was going to blow.
But he didn't have the TV and all that.
But you knew it was coming.
And we were doing Chappelle show.
We were making money in Chappelle show, but not a lot of money.
We needed a tour.
I came up with the idea of doing an I'm Rich Bitch tour.
You know what I'm saying?
And the Rich Bitch tour, the two draws at the time were me and Charlie.
And I could have ran with that.
I could have gone for somebody local, but I said, nah, Bill Burr is an animal.
Let's not just do a show of people coming for the novelty of the show.
Let's give them a show where this show is fire from beginning to end.
And that's what we had on Rich Bitch Tour.
I think this is the first time Bill Bird was, we ran this shit for like a year and a half.
Charlie Murphy with MC.
Bill Burr, you know, you know this is funny.
Bill Bird was a feature.
Wow.
And I was headlining.
And I'm telling you, you know, you talk about no excuses.
Imagine going on every night for a year behind Bill Bird.
Fuck that.
There was no day you could take off.
Yeah.
You didn't have a, you go out and party, you get all fucked up.
You got a hangover.
The next day, guess what's going to happen?
And this happened to me a couple of times.
Like, yeah, you was funny with that white boy.
You know what I'm saying?
And the point I'm making is he knew his future is going to be because me and Charlie was on, I'm rich, but Charlie Manfred, all this shit.
It was just, it was pandemonium.
But Bill Bird was the one with the comment cards.
You know what I'm saying?
Filling them out.
The emails.
I'm like, yo, you worrying about that email shit?
Nigga, people going to be coming to see us forever.
He was the dude that was on the email card, and he started building that base.
He started building that base.
And then when you start building that base, people start riding with you.
And then you win comedian of the year in the Montreal Comedy Festival.
You're going to build to that point.
He knew what he wanted early on.
A lot of people don't.
Kevin Hart, as much as people want to talk shit about Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart was the same situation.
Kevin Hart was always down with whatever the newest thing was, was MySpace, Twitter.
I remember Kevin Hart had 60,000 followers on Twitter.
And he was trying about, yo, I can get you some followers.
Now, that dude's out of out of, he's just on another level.
He's a rock star.
But he planted that.
And like you were saying about waiting for the networks, they didn't wait.
Those people didn't wait.
So by the time the networks got caught up to them, they was already ready.
You know what I'm saying?
And that's what you said is important.
You know what I'm saying?
Like a lot of times in this business, we want to swing for the gate all the time.
Sometimes a bass hit is good.
Sometimes a bun is good, but you got to know that.
And that's what separates the different people.
Now you look at Bill Burr.
I look at Bill Burr 13 years ago.
He was opening on our show.
And now this dude is doing Madison Square Garden.
And here's another thing, how stuff is supposed to inspire you.
I see that.
I know how funny I am.
I know how funny he is.
But it gives you a sense of know that you're from a place where it could happen.
You know what I'm saying?
You look at Bill Burr.
He's like, this dude, we were doing the same club.
It could happen.
Who's going to put the work in?
Right.
You know?
Where do you get some of your own work ethic, man?
Because it's really interesting because especially you were like, I mean, I'm, you know, you're a little bit older than me.
I'm 38, you know, but when I was growing up, like, they didn't have, like, you know, they had, you know, our town was maybe, you know, my environment was probably like half black and half white kids.
And a lot of them didn't have like a lot of, you know, leadership or direction.
They probably didn't have a lot of, you know, role models and stuff, you know?
And I knew that because I didn't have a lot of it.
So I would spend time around a lot of those kids.
So where did you get, and a lot of them were done with school at seventh grade or eighth grade.
I mean, done, you know, 70% of the black kids in our school were gone at eighth grade, you know?
I think in the South, it was just, you know, it's just a different, it was a different place.
And this is, you know, 20 years ago, 25 years ago.
But where did you get, like, what kind of kept you in a different lane to have, you know, at least some of the, you know, mental capacity, you know, that you had when you were young, do you think?
Well, my mom was a very, very loving mom.
My dad was a guy that was in and out of jail.
You know, my dad was a, he was a heroine kingspin in D.C. And black people always loved the fact that they could tout what level your dad got to.
He was big time, and he chose a lifestyle where he didn't get a lot of chances to spend with his kids like he wanted.
But my mom always instilled love.
Yeah.
She was on us.
She wasn't like upset that she was raising us pretty much by herself.
She never made excuses.
She spent time with us.
At the end of the day, it's to the time that your parents spend with the kids.
If you see any kid that's like kind of out of line and crazy, whatever, you know, it may be cases where it's not that way.
You could break it down.
Yeah.
You could break it down like, oh, I see why.
Mom always had a babysitter.
Yeah.
Mom always in the club.
You know, he always saw mom come home with the just got smashed outfit and stuff like that.
I contribute.
I contribute.
You know, the kids know what I'm saying.
Yeah, no, I know.
Our kids feel something.
Yeah.
I contribute a lot of that.
And I don't know if it's work ethics as much as just thought on life.
You know what I'm saying?
My mom obviously say, you know, we don't have a lot, but it always can be, you know, it's a lot of people that's doing a lot worse.
And you work hard enough, you can do better.
You know, but I just think that my mom just created the type of love in the environment that I only wanted to do well.
and I cared about what she thought.
And I always wanted to make my mother proud.
Yeah, some people don't give a fuck about what their parents think about them.
I wanted to make my mother proud.
And even my father was locked up a lot of my life.
I wanted to make him proud.
I wanted him to be proud of the fact that I'm creating a lifestyle and doing something I love to do.
And I'm not in prison.
I'm not doing something that could jeopardize my freedom.
And a lot of it comes from just wanting to do better and just wanting to be great.
Even when I started comedy, I never thought about money up or anything.
All I wanted to do was be the baddest motherfucker.
And at the end of the day, if you're the baddest motherfucker, you know, the money will catch you with that.
Yeah.
Dang, man.
You got me fucking feeling all emotional and shit, man.
Dude, why do white people feel more emotional at like black movies that are like triumphant?
They don't feel more emotional.
Everybody does.
They do, man.
No, they just know that white people will express their emotions a lot faster than black people.
You know what I'm saying?
Black people, we so afraid of being hurt or what somebody gonna think.
You like, you in a black neighborhood, in a black community growing up, the first thing you tell a kid.
You don't cry.
Don't cry.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
You know, your son got a broken leg.
Don't cry.
Don't cry.
Shake it off.
You know what I'm saying?
Your son got hit by two cars and they're like, don't cry.
Don't cry.
And that's a good point, bro.
I can remember seeing that so many times as a kid.
Yeah, it's like, don't cry.
White fuckers would be like, all right, let's talk about it, Timmy.
Is everything okay?
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, we just, I don't know where it comes from, but we just built to be tough about everything.
You know?
Yeah.
You don't get in our feelings, son.
Yeah.
You don't get in our feelings, you know?
And if you get new feelings, you go smack somebody.
Like, yo, I almost cried.
Smack you, son.
Yeah.
Shmunny, tradeway all day, son.
Dang, man.
That's exciting, bro.
That's exciting, man.
What else can we talk about?
We had a question that came in, that came in for Donnell.
We're going to play it.
Is it in headphones?
Or is it video?
It'll be in headphones.
Okay.
Man, I wish I was on that tour, dude.
It'd be fun one day if I got to go on the road with you, man.
It'd be crazy.
We could come up with something.
I really would love to do a sitcom or something, man.
Let's write it.
Let's write it.
Bro, if we took it in, we could do it.
No, we could not only do it.
We could fuck it up because things are about to switch.
You know, you have people that's getting opportunities.
I'm not saying they're not deserving of them, but they just ain't putting it in.
You know, like, get your shot.
But when you get your shot, hit a three.
Hit a dunk.
I think we could do it.
Yeah.
Hey, from Houston, Texas.
I just want to call in for Donnell Duck.
I just want to say, it's fucked up.
They joke on you on the Breakfast Club.
Like, it makes it feel bad.
And, like, I'm like, goddamn, why they got to do my boy like that?
But it ain't funny as.
But see, here's the thing.
Who is this dude?
Is this guy black or white, first of all?
He listens to the Black Breakfast Club.
He's black.
Okay.
No, he's not necessarily.
No, it's so funny you say that because wherever I go now, people are always like, they say the same thing.
Why you let the Breakfast Club fuck with you?
The Breakfast Club don't fuck me like that.
They can fuck with me like that.
But who people cheer for me.
Oh, 100%.
You know what I'm saying?
They cheer for me.
So as much as they fuck with me, I know the funny storyliner don't fuck with me.
Yeah.
And me spoiling.
You see in the bigger storyline.
You see the bigger picture.
And I used to have issues.
I used to have issues with Charlamagne.
He used to try to, oh, he's not funny, blah, blah, blah, blah, until he came to Madison Square Garden.
I opened for De Chappelle.
And he saw me open for De Chappelle and I caught a standing O in front of 6,500 people.
I stood up the whole, not Madison Square, Radio City Music Hall.
And I couldn't wait to do the next interview with him on the Breakfast Club.
And he was like, yo, not for nothing, Donnell, you, and Charlotte, I mean, you and I was like this, where you been?
You know what I'm saying?
And I could have been mad at Charlamagne in the whole relationship.
I could have been like, fuck you, I know I'm funny.
I was like, nope.
Wait till you come in my arena.
And then that's going to speak for you.
See what I do.
Yeah.
But I appreciate what you just said knows that I know that there's people that's team Donnell and they like what I'm doing.
So I'm always going to be the fourth member of that show.
And I'm always going to have fun with them.
At the end of the day, that's my family.
I got love and respect for all of them.
But we're here to make comedy and make entertainment.
Is it fun to go in there on Breakfast Club?
Is it intimidating in that environment?
You don't get intimidated.
It doesn't seem like that.
It's easy for me because I used to do morning radio.
Oh, wow.
So I had a background.
I did morning radio with Envy.
I do morning radio.
And it's weird when I come on here.
It's sometimes after I get off the show, I'm like, oh, I didn't promote this.
I didn't promote that.
But when I'm up there, it's almost like I'm a part of the show.
You know what I'm saying?
I could really be on the show.
Right, it fits in.
Yeah, I don't, they don't.
It's not like you're a guest.
It's like you're just kind of fitting in.
I fit in.
Like when I go in there, like people could, you know, like some people get sensitive.
He's not asking that question, but I can navigate that conversation any way I want to.
But I miss doing radio, and they have respect for me.
And I go in there and I just have fun.
I think I'm the most interviewed guest on that show.
That's amazing.
And it's tough because I had to go through people, you know, the trolls, like, damn, y'all can't get no more guests.
How many times does this motherfucker be on the show?
But then I, you know, I'm sensitive.
Yeah, where's Mike Epps at?
Yeah, I was sensitive, but then I just let it, right, right.
And what people started to say was like, he brings a different entity to the show.
And when he's on the show, he's always funny.
So I could be on that motherfucker every other week.
As long as I represent and be funny, that's it.
Yeah.
Does Charlemagne have a big, like, does he seem like he has a big ego or is he a chill, dude?
I never met the man.
Nah, he doesn't.
I love their show, though.
I'll watch it.
Nah, he doesn't.
He hasn't.
He doesn't have a big ego.
Sorry about that.
You know, but you know, you get a certain swag when you start getting a certain amount of success.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
More people love you, the more people you can say, you know, I don't really give a fuck.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't think it's ego that's taking him.
It's more swag.
Yes, it's more swag.
And he's a person that doesn't bite his tongue.
That's what people like about him.
He don't bite his tongue.
He's going to say how I feel.
A lot of people don't agree with it, but he doesn't waver from who he is.
He doesn't bang down.
And that's why they like him.
And he can't fuck with me, pound for pound.
Really?
Not on a joke?
What are you going to do?
No, not on a joke, no.
But if you guys had to wrestle or something, would you do it?
I'm of the age where I don't take chances on shit like that.
I learned my lesson.
I tried to dunk on an eight-foot basketball rig two years ago.
I popped my patella, and that's either physical, it's over.
If it's not treadmill, where I could jump in and jump off, and I also have two fights that were captured on TMZ that I didn't connect, so I don't want that three-strap.
I'm just going to stay away from that shit.
That's where you go get the strap, get the goons, friends.
And my goons usually have Jewish last names now.
We're not going to fight you in the street.
We see you in court, bitch.
These Israelites, man.
No doubt.
It's definitely changed.
Your mother's in town for the holidays?
No, my family's on the East Coast.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have extended.
My brother, one of my brothers, he's here, so I'm going to have Thanksgiving with him.
Nice.
Do you make your mom laugh?
Always.
Yeah?
Always make my mother laugh.
And I make my mother laugh in some of the most painful moments.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that's just what our family was.
It's like, it could be a dark situation.
Yeah.
You always could find a place to laugh.
I remember one of the things that pushed me in the direction of comedy, late at night when I was making my mother laugh, and she was like, boy, don't tell another joke unless you're going to make some money doing it.
And that started me to think about it.
And then I think shortly after that, I started doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's nice when a kid can make their mom laugh.
I think it makes them feel good, you know?
Yeah.
If you can't make your mom laugh, then you might think of a different profession.
Because your mother must laugh at everything.
Your mother must laugh when people say you're the most handsome person.
You supposed to be the best looking person in your mom's face, in her eyes, and everything.
Yo, what type of...
You about to buy that stock pump or airline?
You're about to buy an assault rifle.
Bro, why does it seem like all tall black guys, if they don't play ball, they work at the airport?
Is that a real thing or is that just my imagination?
That is funny.
That is funny.
I don't know.
Maybe they're good at putting the bags up.
I don't know.
That's fucked up because when you're 6'7 and you've been playing basketball, you got to answer that question for the rest of your life.
For the rest of your life, you're 6'8.
No.
And you got to start making up shit.
I played in China and then I tore my ACL and then I just got a job at the airport, bro.
We'll put your tour dates and stuff at the front.
Yes.
So people will know about it.
Happy Thanksgiving, Donnell Rollins.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Good to see you, brother.
Yeah, you too, man.
you.
Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
I can feel it in my bones.
But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking break and let myself on wine shine that light on me.
I'll sit and tell you my stories.
Shine on me.
And I will find a song.
I will sing it just for you.
And now I've been moving way too fast on the road.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.
Longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Sweetheart.
Please, Dale.
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
John Main.
I'll take a quarter bottle of cheese to add a bit quarter.
I think Tom Hanks just buttiled me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kai Club.
Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
