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Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere and that's where you find yourself if that makes any sense, man.
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I'm out here in the middle of nowhere, man, but suddenly I'm right here with you guys, and I feel like I know exactly where I am.
I'm not lost anymore.
You feel me?
Suddenly, I'm just found, you know.
She was huddled in the black top.
Broke down at a truck stop.
She looked about as wild as the story she told.
Said she was a Christian, saving souls in Savannah.
And the lover sent it her to Alabama Had a pistol in her boots Blonde hair, dark roots Says she got a hold man But I shouldn't be hurt.
Though it seemed like she was in a hurry, higher than a junkie drying out in the Savannah.
I hope I don't die in Alabama Yeah, Alabama I hope I Higher than a junkie drying out in Savannah.
Lord, I hope I don't die in Alabama.
Thank you guys for being here.
It is, man, it's summer.
Look, I'm coming at you from, I've been in rural Illinois all weekend in a town called Wyoming, Illinois.
And this is the second year in a row that we've come out here and done some stand-up, doing the jokes and doing the joy, you know.
And man, I was, let me tell you this, last year we came and most of the townspeople came.
And this is a small town.
You know what I'm saying?
This is a small town where if somebody farts across town and you don't, if you're not there to hear it, a few hours later, somebody will just tap you on the shoulder when you're over at the gas station and be like, well, you heard what happened, didn't you?
And you're like, what?
And they're like, well, Lawrence, you know, he parted.
So it's that kind of place.
You can't even fart without somebody telling somebody else about it.
You know, you'll hear people just, you know, reenacting other people's farts around town just because it's that kind of place.
You know what I'm saying?
If somebody sneezes upwind of you, even if it's a mile away, then you'll hear a gazoon type down the hill.
It's that kind of place where, you know, everything's just, everything's connected.
It's all, there's, you know, there's, everything is just, everything's connected, man.
Like, you'll even see you'll see birds and they look like they've been there a while.
Like in Los Angeles, I see a bird and it's like, oh, this fucker's just passing through.
You know, he's just flying around and maybe, you know, shitting a little and stuff like that and copping a little bit of seed and maybe, you know, trying to fuck a falcon or something down by the beach.
But after that, he's going to jet town.
But you're out here and, you know, I'm in these rural areas.
You know, and it seems like, and you see a bird and you're like, oh, that, okay.
This is his area.
You know, this his block around here.
You know, maybe he's a parent or a granddaddy.
You know, I saw a sparrow look like he probably had a couple stepchildren.
But, you know, everything has more of a story.
Because everything has more of a, has more room to have a story.
You know, I think about that stuff sometimes.
Like in a smaller town, it's, you know, I don't know.
I just get so dialed in.
I get so dialed in.
And I just, everything just feels like, say if you're driving past a park in a small town, the toys in the park and the swings and the slide, they suddenly they stand out like they have room to breathe.
They mean something.
You know, they hold memories of people's pasts and of children in the springtime or on a fall day when school got out early and the kids hit the park.
Or the swing set, it might be like, oh, you know, maybe you, you know, that swing set holds memories of like a, you know, a boy, you know, first time he swang next to a girl.
Because you remember that.
I don't know if you remember that.
I remember being in elementary school.
And I was in elementary school.
You know, some kids didn't go to school at all.
I mean, they had a boy in our town, didn't go to school at all.
And people thought he was deaf, and he just didn't know anything.
So I don't know whatever happened to him, dude.
Probably, honestly, could have gotten hit by a car.
Because if you don't know about school, man, you easily, you know, could not know how streets work or could not know how basic, you know, how to deal with automobilery when it's, you know, passing by.
But anyhow, yeah, and I remember the first time, you know, like I would swing on a swing sat next to a girl.
Like my whole, my whole body, the side of my body next to the girl was just like just almost rigor mortis had set in.
You know, just rigamortis.
My whole body, just like all the blood was over there, just like listening for her heartbeat.
You know, my whole, that side of my body was just so heavy.
You know, the swing she was closest to next to me, suddenly like the other side of my body had just gone bleach white.
And that other side of my body where she was, all the blood had run over there.
I was just listening, just trying to get as close to this, you know, young lass as I could, you know, because I was feeling, you know, it's just what I was feeling.
I mean, I was just feeling alive.
And I think that that's what you see whenever you're in a smaller town.
Things just stand out more.
You know, like, and things have more room to breathe.
You see a tree and you're like, oh, that tree, you know, somebody has a story that goes with it.
Or, oh, my grandfather and I used to sit under there and, you know, we used to read or think about stuff.
Or, you know, my uncle used to hide behind there and, you know, whatever he wanted to do, drink lemonade or something like that or just, you know, make homemade tires or whatever he wanted to do, comb his hair, you know, put motor oil in his hair and comb his hair and wear fucking tight shirts, you know, and put fucking sand, you know, put sand, you know, put sand in his shoes and just pretend he was at the beach.
I mean, everybody, you know, but I just feel like in a small town, you get more stories.
You know, you get more, I don't know, things just have more room.
And I feel like that, man.
When I'm in the cities, when I'm in some of the city, you feel a little bit more...
You ever do that?
If you're emailing somebody, you send them a group of files at once, but you can zip drive it.
And it's the same information.
It's just like air-sealed, kind of.
It's like compact.
That's how I feel when I'm in the city.
There's just no room even sometimes for my imagination to reach its arms out of my brain and just, you know, pet the world.
And that's something that drives me crazy sometimes.
And I feel like I'm not going to get that.
I'm not going to get that space.
I'm not going to get any of that brain.
You know, I'm never going to have that again.
And then I come to a town like I did this weekend over here to Wyoming, Illinois.
And man, this place, 1,600 people.
And I came here last year.
And it's a, you know, the town could probably use a little bit of diversity here and there.
You know, it's definitely a little bit, you know, it's definitely got some old school white in it.
But it's good people.
You know, I mean, most of the people are just friendly, you know, just loving people.
You know, you see a lot of people up here that raise foster children and do that sort of thing.
You know, a lot of people have church as part of their lives or religion of some sort.
You know, it could be whatever their religion is.
But I think in smaller towns, there's just more, it feels like there's more room for anything.
And I had a good time, man.
It was nice just to, you know, suddenly just feel human.
Because in Los Angeles, things can get so unhuman.
And look, look, I love, look, I have a lot of great friends in Los Angeles, but I'm just saying there's so much going on.
It's almost like time and mother nature and life cannot keep it all organized.
And when you're in LA, it feels like the world is just kind of juggling a million things at once.
And when you're out here, I feel like the world has just like kind of set the balls down on the ground and the balls can rest.
They don't have to be flying around in the air anymore.
So it's just nice, man.
It's nice to be a part of it.
And it's nice to get into a place and feel like I'm okay in these places.
You know, driving past cornfields and reminding me when I used to, you know, plant corn and cotton.
And, you know, seeing, you know, driving by a fair, you know, drove by like a small town, one of those carnivals, you know, those shady carnivals come to town.
And it's usually a lot of alcoholics and people on, you know, different type of methamphetamines and people, you know, hopped up on uppers, basically trying to keep goldfish alive, traveling from town to town.
And you see one of those go on and just reminded me of time I used to be out there, you know, trying to touch a little bit of titty or vomit behind a super slide.
Just things, I don't know.
Maybe just because I'm from a smaller place, I see a smaller place and it reminds me.
But it's also nice to know that I don't feel disconnected from those places.
You know, I don't.
And that's something I worry about a lot of times, like about how I change or how I can change from living in a city or living in one place.
You know, and how you become more accustomed to things.
Because, as humans, man, we become accustomed so easily.
It's like people always say, don't forget where you came from.
You don't forget where you come from, but you get used to feeling like where you are.
You know, it's amazing how adaptable we are.
And how I bet you can go forward and backward.
And that's, you know, life's exciting like that.
Dude, we got a crazy week coming.
We got Jordan Peterson coming in.
A lot of people are really excited about that.
And I'm grateful.
You know, he's coming in this week.
And he's a premier thinker.
You know, I was just talking with my buddy Simon Rex about him.
And he kind of, if you're not familiar with him, you know, you can check out Jordan Peterson.
He's a speaker.
He's a brain.
He's a mouth.
He's a orator.
He's a thinker.
He's a philosopher.
And he's a professor in Canada.
But, you know, I think he almost, he has this voice that embody that like, I don't know, a lot of men from my generation feel like it almost seems like they were fatherless or they weren't getting the fatherly advice that they needed.
And I feel like it's a lot of those men that go towards him right now and are listening to him.
It's like, you know, even though he's Canadian, he's like America's number one, you know, number two stepdaddy.
You know, I know Simon Rex likes to say he's the number one.
But anyhow, man, I've had a good time this weekend.
You know, so many people came out to the show in Wyoming.
Last year when I was there, and it's a fundraiser show.
My mother grew up in this small town, and so we do fundraiser to keep the theater and the history and the arts department alive here in this town.
And man, last year, a lot of the locals bought tickets, and this year people came from everywhere.
You know, we had a father-son.
They said they were father-son.
I thought they might have been up to something, you know, a little better than a dark ass.
But they said that they had the same blood in each one of their bodies.
So they came out.
People drove in from St. Louis, Wisconsin, Chicago.
I mean, I would say 85% of the tickets were bought not from people in the town.
So it was just incredible.
You know, we all kind of, some dudes showed up, a couple of young bucks, these fellas from Chicago.
They were outside of the theater trying to get an Uber at the end of the night.
And I'll tell you this, there's no Ubers.
I mean, this is an area we still have to hitchhike.
You know what I'm saying?
That Uber, you got one Uber on each hand, Daddy.
That's that thumb.
You got to use that, you know, that beautiful thumb ship.
And these fellas are out there.
They're like, yeah, we got water and we got trail mix.
We'll be fine.
I'm like, good luck, dude.
You guys probably going to get accosted or molested, but sometimes that happens, you know?
And sometimes that makes you feel right at home.
If you get, you know, somebody that you don't know, but with, you know, seem to have a big heart kind of sneaks up and jerks you off, that can't, you know, that can make you feel kind of, you know, part of, part of an area.
Yeah, I had fun.
My brother brought a bunch of crawfish up here from Louisiana.
And so we did a crawfish boil up here so people could be a part of that.
And so it's been a peaceful weekend.
I got to see my nephews and my niece and just spend time with my family and people that I love.
And so, you know, and people that we haven't always had that family closeness.
So as it comes into my life now, I have to show up for it.
I mean, there's times where I want to not get, you know, not, you know, take it eat, take the nap, take the, I got to show up.
I just got to be there with my eyes open and my heart open and just hope to catch some little pieces of love that are floating around when people get together.
And that's another thing in these smaller towns, man, people, dude, I didn't realize this.
Like without the L, like they only get 4G on their phones.
Like my phone has had 4G for the past three days, okay?
So it's really hard to, you're not using, you're not watching a ton of stuff on your phone because you can't do it.
It doesn't even work.
So you're just like, fuck all that, you know?
And you just spend time with who you're around.
And that's not as easy to do in a city, you know?
So it's just, you know, suddenly I get a little bit more of an inkling of just myself.
And I start getting just more ideas pop into my head.
You know, I get an idea.
Like, oh, where's that been?
But if I get so much influence, then it's less ideas, you know, because, you know, an idea is just influence from inside of yourself.
But, you know, we get so influenced from the outside these days that it's like ideas are like, damn, they've been run out of town.
So it was, you know, I found myself getting a few more ideas because I just adapt so quick, you know.
You know, you take away one thing and your brain will get back pretty quickly, I believe.
Even though I worry we get trapped in this hole, in this wormhole these days with technology.
And that song on the way in, that was Alabama by Bishop Gunn.
You guys know that band.
But Alabama by Bishop Gunn.
We'll have the link to them below.
If you have calls for Jordan Peterson, make sure to get them into the hotline, 985-664-9503.
And you can always leave calls for any of our guests there or on the fan line.
And the fan line is where you can leave video questions for our guests.
And that link is on the YouTube page.
Also, make sure to subscribe to the podcast.
You know, we need subscribers.
We could use any support as well.
If you have a product that you feel like would be dope that you want to advertise on the podcast, hit us with an email.
There's an email on the website on theovon.com.
What else, man?
I'm just trying to navigate this industry.
Hollywood is a sneaky industry.
You know, it's a sneaky, it's a sneaky industry.
And I'm just trying to navigate It as well as I can.
And it's tough, man.
And it's tough, you know.
But I'm grateful.
I'm realizing more and more that some of the acquaintances that I have around me that they want that they just want to make good stuff.
And a lot of it, sometimes it's just me.
I just have to trust.
Sometimes I want to be so individualistic sometimes that might not even be to my benefit sometimes.
You know, that I just need to learn to be more trusting.
And to know that I've noticed one thing, more things get done when I don't try to do things alone.
Man, for so long in my life, I was like, I got to do this shit alone.
I got to do, nah, me, man.
I can handle it.
I can handle it.
I could handle it.
You know, I could handle it, Susan.
Even I don't even know a Susan and I would say that kind of shit.
But the truth is, yes, I can handle it.
But I can also not be alone while I handle it.
And that's something that I'm just kind of grasping recently.
But man, my brain is rattled.
I'm all over the place.
You know, I've been on vacation, but I wanted to be here for you guys because I know that you guys are here for me.
And we're getting, I mean, it's wild, man.
So many people are listening these days.
And, you know, so many beautiful people came out to the show this weekend that just love the podcast.
You know, a couple that was about to move to Houston.
There were four or five ladies that all work in an office together.
And I loved, you know, I thought that was fun.
Man, my first job I ever had, I used to, you know, the same girl, actually, I've told this story before, there was a girl that kind of masturbated me into a creek or into a, you know, sorry, the first hand job that I ever got.
You know, I, you know, this girl sprayed, you know, give me a hand job.
And I don't just say this girl.
It wasn't just like some floozy.
It was, you know, the love of my life at the time.
But she hand jobbed me into this like river, part of a river.
But it was like part of a river where it kind of comes off to the side, like a little, just like a little pond, like a bay, like a little, like not the main part of the river, a little part where the river kind of reaches off and doesn't do anything over there.
You know, like part of the river that's always rest and kind of off to the side and like a little hole.
But anyway, this girl kind of hand-jobbed me into that, into that deal and had some fish in there.
And the fish swam up and the part where it's, you know, the part of my body that had sprayed out into the water, the fish snacked on that.
You know, they ate up all my, you know, all my, you know, all my adventure sauce or whatever was inside of my body.
And what's this story about?
Damn, I can't remember what this story's about.
Um.
What the fuck was I talking about?
I was talking about shit.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Something about sexual.
This, um.
Oh, ah.
Mm.
Oh, some people that came out to the show.
Anyway, I don't know how I got into something about a hand job, but yeah, all types of people came out to the show.
You know, and it was just, yeah, oh, oh, oh, because I remember this girl that I dated, that girl that handjob me into that passive area of water, her, I used to work at with one of her family members, and they gave me one of my first jobs.
And I was, you know, I worked as like a office clerk.
And so I'd be out there doing clerk office type stuff.
And I worked in an office of four or five or six or seven ladies.
And a couple of them always had carpal tunnels.
And a couple of them always, you know, had on a neck brace or some kind of shit because we worked in insurance or something.
And so everybody was always faking something at the same time because they were so close to insurance that everybody passing a neck brace around that bitch like a joint, you know, like a big smoking, you know, a big smoking horse leg full of that dank dank.
And everybody's, you know, wearing that neck brace and suing this and getting that and getting them checks and cutting that money and getting them checks.
And what happened to me was that I worked over there and I worked in an office with, you know, five or six or seven or eight ladies.
And it was always somebody's birthday, you know, oh, it's Donna's party, you know, or it's Donna or it's Margaret, you know, or Sandra's husband, you know, got electrocuted because he worked with the electric company and he also smoked a lot of weed.
How about this, Sandra's husband?
Don't fucking do those things at the same time.
That is crazy, bro.
You're going to smoke weed and then play with electricity?
Oh, fuck no, you're not, guy.
That's crazy.
So anyhow, but I worked over there.
That was a place that I worked at.
And so, yeah, we had a lot of neat people that came out, man.
You know, people drove in.
They had a couple that's moving to Houston together.
They weren't going to be able to come see me in Chicago.
They drove out.
Some kids were on LSD.
They came out and kind of got scared and they left.
We had a couple senior citizens.
One man said he didn't think he'd be alive next year to see the show.
So he wanted to come out this year.
I was like, damn, bro.
You know, we don't offer like a discount on ticket for that thing.
You know, that death discount, that deaths count.
Like, dude, you get 40% off.
You think you're not going to be alive next year?
Markdown tickets.
40% off.
So that was interesting.
But yeah, it was just good, man.
And then next thing you know, I just get to be, you know, I stayed at this beautiful little place.
Like, it's usually like a huge rental hall or whatever and got to stay out there.
And just a lot of love in the air, man.
Just a lot of love.
Just being around family and being around, just people relaxing and enjoying.
People just looking at each other eating potato salad.
There's something about watching somebody.
And this one man, he got all kinds of pea salad.
And I call it pea salad for short instead of saying potato salad all the time because sometimes I'm in a hurry.
And he got that pea salad up in his up in his word curtain, you know, up in his mustache.
And he fell asleep.
And dude, it's kind of, you know, I'm not a real, you know, I'm not a real pervert.
You know, I've played one and I'll do that kind of thing, but I've never, you know, I'm not, I don't have any plan to be anything crazy, you know, but it's hard to think of that somebody isn't.
If you see a man fall asleep and he's got that yellow mustard in his stash and he just dozed off with a plastic fork in his hand, I mean, I don't want to say it's erotic because it's not.
It's just really, I mean, that's the dark arts.
You know, when you see a man with a mustache and he's been just having some pea salad, some pea salad, and then he just dozes off, you know, because he can't handle, you know, maybe it's got too much egg in it or too much, you know, maybe some other kind of shit in it.
I don't know what the fuck's MP salad, but he can't handle it all.
And so he dozes off, you know, his brain shuts down.
You know, he closes down shop for a little bit and shuts his eyes.
And then you see, but in his mustache, he's still got that yellow, that yellow thick thick, just hanging out up in his word curtain.
And he can't hang.
And he can't live life.
And that's, honestly, that's probably a pervert.
So, but yeah, I got to see one of those this weekend.
And that's fun.
That's family.
You know, that's family.
But look, I'm going to keep this episode.
We had some calls that came in.
I'm going to get to some of those because my brain's a little all over the place.
And I want to get it done for you guys.
I'm going to let you know first and foremost that next weekend I'll be in Oxnard, California.
Then I'm in China.
And China's a big, huge country and all kind of stuff happens over there.
And I'm going to be one of the things that's happening over there.
And some people say China.
Some people say China.
And China is nothing.
It's not a real thing.
So it's China.
And I'll be over there July 12th through the 14th.
So if you have any friends over there that live in Shanghai or Xi Minh, hit them up.
Tell them, hey, go see my friend.
Also coming up, I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina, Minneapolis, Chicago, Nashville, Toronto, Appleton, Wisconsin, Buffalo, Salt Lake City, Washington, D.C., and many.
Oh, yeah, we already said Minneapolis.
Minneapolis shows almost sold out, so we might be adding a second show there.
I don't know yet.
But thank you guys for coming out.
You're putting a lot of pressure on me to keep coming up with new material and stuff, but I'm grateful for it, you know, because it makes me feel more challenged.
And that makes me feel, you know, makes me feel excited.
You know, it's scary.
It's scary to know if my brain will have more ideas.
You know, that's something that scares me a lot.
Thinking, well, am I going to run out of ideas?
You know, am I going to run out of memories?
Am I going to run out of memories that are good memories that I can tell a story about?
You know, it's alarming.
I guess it's just like a painter thinking, oh, well, what if all the paint doesn't exist tomorrow?
What if they dry up or they shut down a couple colors?
You know, what if fuchsia or magenta goes out of business?
You know, what if Roy GBiv goes under?
And then I'm just standing here just with nothing, with nothing on my palette.
So yeah, it's scary, but I guess that's the excitement is a little bit of that fear, you know, having one foot out in the fear instead of two feet on the dock, you know?
Because I'll say this, man, and I don't mean to go back to this a little bit perverse, but when that girl sprayed me out into that little pond or whatever it was, a part of a river that's not moving, you know what I'm saying?
At first I was like, man, this is, you know, this is kind of, it's kind of shady, but it's fucking cool, you know?
And then I was like, then the fish came over and I was like, oh, this is scary.
This is scary.
Because after that, I had dreams that I had, like there were fish out there that had my face and had the same kind of chin and cheekbones as me and all kinds of weird shit.
But there was a moment in there when it was scary that that's when it was exciting.
You know, when I don't sit here in the comfort all the time, you know, when I get out into, and when I get out into when I get out into exciting, when I keep some risk, you know, when I keep a little bit of risk in the tank, and I don't just put safe gas in there, I fucking put a match up in the top right corner of the tank and just say, hey, hey, Fates.
Hey, Powers of B. Let's see how this breaks down.
But you can find all the tickets for all those places, Salt Lake City, Washington, D.C., all those places at theova.com slash tour.
Okay, we had a lot of calls.
You can always hit the hotline if you want to be associated with the podcast.
The number is 985-664-9503.
Here you go.
We had a call that came in.
You know, I like to know who is listening to the pod.
And usually I won't get into calls this week.
I'll try and, you know, go through my own life and my brain a little bit more.
But man, honestly, this week has just been, it's been crazy.
Dude, I worked on some television set this week.
But they had a part of it where it's like a big, huge house party in the Hollywood Hills.
And so next thing you know, I'm there.
I'm in the Hollywood Hills.
And the guy whose house it was, this beautiful gentleman, and he was in the band called Extreme.
And they had that song, More Than Words.
And it was like a, you know, it was a kind of song you could, you know, you could really feel yourself to, or you could see somebody else's body to it.
But they had a, and part of the scene, they have porno going on, people shooting, doing sex by the pool.
And so next thing you know, they really had that in the scene.
I thought it was going to be fake, right?
I'm involved in the dialogue I'm supposed to be doing with this other character.
I look over, and they got people doing real porno.
Like, what?
Y'all fucking outdoors, man.
This is some real Native American style.
It's pilgrims, you know.
That's real pilgrims.
I just had a sip of coffee.
But I'd like to know who's listening to the podcast.
And so we got this call.
Let's go.
Hey, Camel.
C.O. Vaughn, I got to just tell you something, man.
I am listening to this podcast, and I just love what you are doing so much.
I am a board-certified neuropsychologist.
I am a graduate of Harvard Medical School, so I want to let you know these smart bitches out here be listening.
Dang these SBs out there, Cameron.
See, I just want to tell you that every time I hear you talk about the dark art, which is funny as shit, I'm not going to lie.
It's funny until you just lay it in your house, you know, and you don't spray it out all on your knuckles and you got nothing left in your heart.
But I feel you, though, onward.
I want to let you know that what you are also doing and offering to people is truly the healing arts.
Even though my specialty is dementia and helping people with brain injuries, I do a lot of therapy and just try to connect with people about trauma and heartbreak.
And the way that you talk to people and the way that you accept people and the love that you show to people, I needed to reach out and tell you that what you do is so unbelievably needed and so therapeutic.
And you do it so, so, so well.
If you were not a natural-born comedian and hilarious as shit as you are, I would absolutely encourage you to go into social workers.
Well, I didn't mean to cut you off there, but I appreciate the nice words.
Yeah, it's hard for me to hear sometimes people say nice stuff about me.
But I really do appreciate it.
It's very sweet of you.
And now I feel bad about cutting you off because you're not going to be a little bit more psychology because you are a natural.
What you do for people is not just make us laugh, man.
What you do is you provide people with a space of love and acceptance and self-reflection and support.
And I think that so many people out there can't hear that message unless it comes from someone who's genuine.
Well, I appreciate it.
You know, that's nice you to say.
You know, I feel bad, like kind of, you know, when you say nice stuff about me, it makes me feel bad.
Let me think about what it makes you feel, man.
You got me feeling emotional now.
But that's okay.
I like, you know, I like having some emotions.
You know, for so long in my life, I didn't have any, I didn't, I had emotions, but it was just anger and fear and probably just like feeling like not worth.
You know, feeling not worth it.
You know, probably, damn, you got me leaking now.
Probably feeling not worth love, you know.
And I didn't know it at the time.
I didn't know that's what it was.
I just felt.
I just felt angry.
You know, and I just, I felt funny.
And I felt.
You know, I felt like I did not feel alive.
I didn't feel comatose or anything like that.
I just, I felt, I guess I felt unloved, you know, even though I didn't realize it.
And I've never really accepted compliments very well, I don't think.
But I think that's sweet of you to say.
And I feel like, I mean, it's crazy to me because look, if you'd asked me five years ago, if I, you know, I don't know if I would have had a lot of the same feelings inside of me.
I think a lot of it for me has come from, and I go back on this stuff sometimes, but getting in like a 12-step program and stuff like that, because I couldn't see that there was so much more in the world that I was missing emotionally before.
I just, I felt, people would always say, I feel like I can't get to know you.
I'm like, really?
And this would be girlfriends and everything, you know?
And even dudes that were jerking off outside of my window, you know?
I'm joking about that part.
But this would be girl, they'd be like, yeah, I just feel like, I'm like, really?
To me, everything seems, I tell you everything.
It seemed like we know each other.
But there was this other level where it was hard to get to.
And I find still, though, that if I don't stay on top of what's going on with me and stay in touch with myself and try and stay in touch with other people, that that part of me creeps back really fast that's disconnected.
And that's very scary to me.
And that's one of the biggest fears in my life right now is becoming disconnected.
Because I flirt and work in this disconnected world in Hollywood.
But, you know, I just try and stay close to people that I care about and not be afraid to care about them if I can.
And also, look, I'm learning as I go.
But I'm happy to know they got some real legit bitches out there from Harvard Medical Center who are psychologists or psychotherapists.
You know, what's funny is I was just thinking this week, actually, I wish I could go back to school if I had more time to go back to school and try to learn how to just be like a more effective listener.
That's what I'd like to be.
Like, I wish, like, when I was listening to somebody, if I knew that they weren't feeling good, that I could ask them a question or make a suggestion that would help them would help them feel better.
So, I don't know, bro.
I don't mean to get off on all this shit.
You got me off on all this stuff.
But thanks for calling.
Thanks for calling.
And, you know, I'm just out here.
I'm just one of these people.
But I'm happy to be here.
And I'm happy to be here with you, you know, today.
And I'm happy for all of this past Weekend, listeners that came out to this weekend, man, it's crazy.
We got to find some way to do something more on weekend shows where we could do something together.
And I'll start to brainstorm what that could be.
Maybe we got another caller.
Here we go.
Good afternoon and salutations.
This is Momatic Beastly, also known as Handsome Julius, calling for the Bronx.
Damn, Nomadic Beastly on Instagram, I'm guessing.
And then Handsome Julius out the Bronx, boy.
Handsome Julius.
Come on.
I just called him to let you know I'm an urban guy.
I'm from the inner city, you know, the Bad Boroughs.
And like, your name probably isn't said that often in the blogs.
That's probably true, man.
You know, I have sometimes, you know, sometimes, Julius, I wish that I could live like more than one life.
You know, and maybe I will.
Maybe we all will, you know, if our higher power wants that for us or if we handled this life okay enough or if it was comfortable enough on us and it wasn't too painful, then maybe we'll get to come back and do it again in some facet.
But sometimes I think about what it would be like to grow up in New York, you know, out in the Bronx, baby, that fat Joe country, you know, out there, Rose Hill, you know, out there, Fordham U out there.
Just like walking around in the sunshine and like just everything, you know, they got a dead pigeon over there and they got people playing, you know, handball against the walls and they got Dominicans and they got, you know, Puerto Rican people and they got fucking somebody, you know, throwing all of their spouse's clothes out the second story window.
And they got some grandmother just pinching her kids' Italian cheek.
And they got, you know, they got just life.
They just have so much life going on.
And it's faster there, you know.
But New York has a, has a, has a, New York has an amazing ability where they have a little bit of this.
It's almost like you get a small town in a moment there.
New York, there's so much going on.
You get a small town in a moment.
Like you can get a, you can get a million years of small town life almost sometimes in a moment in New York.
Just turning a corner and opening your eyes, and it's just everything is so fast.
But thank you for calling, Julius, Onward, brother.
But I'm watching and I'm listening on the train.
I'm on my way to work every day.
I'm an electrician, by the way.
Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Electrician?
I was just talking about electrician.
If somebody's electrician, man, that's and they smoking weed at the same time, boy, come on.
I mean, that's, I mean, that's the new.
I mean, you're basically, you're a damn science fair project if that's what you're doing, man.
Come on.
And although it's based in humor and based in like, you know, dry humor sarcasm, but the shit is good, bro.
I appreciate all the positive words that are masked inside the jokes.
Well, thanks, Julius.
It's nice of you to say, man.
Nice of you to think about that.
You know, but yeah, man, just know that you're living a life that a lot of people dream about.
You know, that alternate life just kind of mobbing around New York with your eyes open.
You know, just feeling all the, you know, beautiful women goes by and somebody, two fucking, you know, deviant vagrants or whatever, fucking beating each other with prosthetic limbs across the street.
And you got, you know, somebody shooting bullets in the air and trying to catch them in his mouth.
And you got everything.
Dude, I was in New York one time.
Somebody jumped off a building and killed themselves or whatever.
And the crowd's starting to disperse, you know, and then some lady walks up and she goes, did you see it?
And I'm like, what was it?
I'm thinking about the body or something.
And this was a, I don't know if she was homeless, but she, you know, liked to pretend she was homeless a lot, I guess.
And maybe she was pretending on this day that she was.
She goes, did you see it?
And I said, what?
And she just pulled her dress up and showed me that big, that big coochie, bro.
You feel me?
Show me that big fucking tiger's mouth she had down there, boy.
That big side, you know, that big fucking, you know, look like about three or four salamanders sleeping next to each other.
And one of them, you know, one of them had the gout.
But yeah, crazy, man.
And thanks for calling, man.
You know, like, thanks for calling.
Dude, you seem like a tough, you seem like kind of like a tougher guy.
And maybe, you know, I think tougher guys always kind of made me a little bit nervous sometimes when I was young.
But here you and I are communicating.
So that's cool, man.
It's pretty cool, you know.
We got some follow-ups from last week's calls.
And I know I'm not getting too deep this week into stuff, but those are some people that listen.
We got an electrician.
We got a bad bitch out of Harvard Dental or whatever, you know, medical dental, fucking brain, whatever.
I need a molar in my cerebellum, baby girl.
You feel me?
I need a fucking, that mental floss.
But we also have some follow-ups from last week, and I want to get to those because those are important because it's you guys getting to give feedback to previous callers onward.
Hey, CEO, this is Daniel calling from Maui.
This is in response to the guy that got asked to marry, has to be married by the fucking foreign chick or whatever.
Yep, this is Daniel from Maui.
And Maui, boy, y'all out there floating out there in the middle of nowhere, eating pineapples, dude, and fucking catching salmon in your jaw.
And also, you just said that this, oh yeah, we had a call last week, and a boy said he said that he got propositioned by a woman to marry him.
And this is kind of an older lady.
And he's considering it.
So here's a suggestion from Daniel.
Yeah, don't do it, man.
It's not worth it.
My kid's mom got on that fucking met and married her friend.
Her friend paid her, I don't know, like 20 grand or something to marry her.
She was Yugoslavian or some shit like that.
Well, Yugoslavian is just a regular place, but yeah, I know what you're saying, something wild out there.
You know what I'm saying?
Like Russia, but maybe in the mountains or something onward.
And they ended up getting caught, and they threw marriage out, and I think the chick got fucking deported.
And I don't think anybody's going to go to jail over it, but that shit ain't worth it, man.
Do not pass go.
Do not collect $200.
So look, yeah, you could be damaging your future.
Look, these offers come along a lot, I think, in life in America, where somebody's like, hey, marry this person for 20G.
They can live in the country or whatever.
And I had an opportunity, you know, in the past.
I got offered a couple of cleaning ladies that families were trying to keep in the U.S. And I didn't go through with them.
And everything's been fine.
So I think, you know, I think I'm going to agree with you on this, Daniel.
Pass it up, man.
Let it go.
You know what I'm saying?
Maybe marry a real woman that you actually are in love with.
And maybe one day y'all might get divorced and she'll just take all your shit.
So that way, you know, nothing.
All right.
Let's hear another call right here, man.
Or you might just fall in love, bruh.
Hey, TU.
This is Adam from WM, Washington.
Hey, Adam, calling from Bellingham, dude.
And I was with a friend one time who his car broke down in Bellingham.
And that's it, I think.
That's all I remember about it.
Let's go.
Been listening to your show for two weeks now.
Thought it was pretty funny been listening to two weeks of mailman-related things.
And guess what?
Your boy is a mailman.
Come on, boy.
Get in there.
You out there as you slanging letters, boy.
You that package savage, baby.
You out there, boy, with them perfume samples.
And you out there just dropping off them sweet scents into people's boxes, boy.
Throw a hit of that S. De Lauder up into somebody's dirty box.
Man, I love that.
Dude, I was just talking today about how crazy it was two mailmen called.
Male people, male persons, whatever.
You know what I'm saying?
Badass motherfuckers that's dropping off that mail.
And they both had dogs barking in the background.
I thought that was awesome.
But thank you for calling in.
Adam, you're a mailman as well.
Anymore?
And I was laughing at the guy last week who got proposition for sex out in the streets.
I'm wondering, I've been a mailman for two years.
Well, I guess what I'm wondering is, why not me?
So you ready for something?
And this could be, look, if you're a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home dad, you know, here's the thing.
Some jobs, it's already set up, you know?
Put this in the box, lick this stamp, you know what I'm saying?
Stuff this envelope.
Fuck me, buy this stack of paper.
You know what I'm saying?
There's already enough kind of things out there in that world where you can easily lead right into sex.
You know, it is kind of crazy when you think about this, and it reminds me of that movie Bridges of Madison counties, and how you could just be there lonely for so long, or if you are lonesome, and you have a man coming by each day, and you ain't hollering at that man.
Now, you might not be doing it because you're married, and you're in a committed, you know, and that's where you're at.
But sometimes, you just have to change it up.
Sometimes you got to put a, you know, you got to put a foot out into that fear.
And sometimes you got to fuck a male person.
Sometimes you have to fuck a male person.
Think about that.
Because think about this.
Say you're running around town, a small town or even a city.
There's dogs chasing you.
And the weather is trying to get you in hail.
Snow, hail, snail, rain, tornadoes, rainados.
Weather you've never even fucking heard of is coming after these people.
Coming after you.
Imagine you're a male person and you're doing all of this and all of that and surviving.
And finally, finally, one day somebody fucks you during the afternoon.
How would you feel?
Pretty good, I bet, huh?
You know, sometimes we have to look at it from the other perspective.
But thank you for calling, Adam.
Maybe you'll get some, man.
Maybe you'll get some.
Here's one more follow-up from last week.
Hi, Phil.
My name is Vidal.
I live in Utah.
Thank you for calling Lidal.
I think it's Lidal or Vidal.
I can't tell.
But thank you for calling.
Idal.
And I'm married and I have a beautiful little girl.
Oh, man.
You got a beautiful child.
And that's awesome, man.
Little girls are so sweet.
That's perfect.
More?
I was just calling because I want to let you know that, you know, what you were saying really inspired me when it came to that guy that had lost his grandpa and his girl.
I recently, about a month ago, lost my best friend.
I'm in the military.
He was in the military.
I lost him to drugs.
And I also lost my sergeant.
And, you know, it's been tough.
It's been rough.
I do agree that drugs, I was using them to help me feel also as well.
And I want to let the guy know that, you know, he's not alone.
I'm there with him.
And, you know, he wants him to.
And he's trying to quit these drugs, man.
And I know he probably wants to too.
So if there was something we can do where we can both, you know, quit at the same time or something, not really sure where I'm going with this.
I want to help him out because I don't want anyone to feel what.
I feel you, man.
Yeah, I feel you, dude.
It's tough when you know somebody else hurts and you have had experience with that same pain and you know they're going through it.
Man, it's like secondhand smoke, but For your heart, isn't it?
It can be pretty hectic.
Well, thanks for calling, man.
You know what?
I tried to reach out this weekend to that gentleman, and I'm going to try again tomorrow.
And maybe we can connect you guys, see if he's okay with that.
And yeah, at least you could, you know, you'll know you're not alone then.
You know, it's crazy how much different it gets when you just put a little bit of light on your problem.
Man, because problems, they prosper in the darkness.
They become Picasso in the darkness, man.
Just a little bit of dirty ink, and next thing you know, it's fucking Vincent Van Voldemort.
And that's the dark arts.
Things prosper in the darkness.
And you got to shine a little bit of light on them, man.
And it can lift up a little, bruh.
You know, I feel that, man.
I believe that shit.
I know it sounds crazy, dude.
You know, or what the fuck does this dude know what he's talking about?
Oh, well, dude.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll smoke a couple bowls of my own dick, son.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll babysit a cat with my nuts, bruh.
Because that's who I am, bruh.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll eat caviar off your cousin's ass cheek, son.
Because I'm rich and naughty.
You feel me?
All right, let's take a couple of calls that came in.
Oh, best weekend, worst weekend.
You know what I'm going to do, though?
Let's go.
Hey, Theo.
This is Haley from rural Illinois.
Hey, Haley, I'm in rural Illinois right now onward.
I'm just cleaning somebody's house, doing my thing, you know, just like every day.
Oh, you're a house cleaner?
You know what I just realized the other day?
Like, I'm okay with tipping bartenders and servers, you know, at a bar if I buy a drink, but I just, I weigh whether tip a house cleaner.
You know what I'm saying?
Because I'm doing, you know, if I'm at a motel room or a hotel room or something, you know what I'm saying, man.
I'm leaving fucking back hair on the mattress, you feel me?
Homeward.
But I had the best weekend ever this last weekend.
My boyfriend and I and our three best friends went camping up by Starved Rock and we did some hiking.
We did a little drug, you know.
Oh yeah, you went hiking up by Starved Rock.
And you know what's so funny?
I drove past Starved Rock today and I was like, who the fuck would ever hang out around there?
And bam, you just called, excuse me, and you just called.
That's pretty sweet.
Because it seemed like a place, Starved Rock, it seemed like things, you know, a place where things didn't end well for somebody or for a group of people.
But I'm glad you guys got out there and had fun.
You know, I wish that I went camping more.
My sister and her kids go camping all the time.
And, you know, I don't do enough of that kind of stuff.
I don't really get connected out there in nature enough.
And I need to work more on it.
I'm going to try to make that a goal for myself.
Let's hear more.
Just a little bit, but we did some drinking.
We had a great time.
And to top it all off, a boyfriend and I came home and then we went kayaking down the Mackinac River and maybe got a little frisky maybe once, twice, or three times.
It was really fun.
But yeah, I can't wait to see you in Wyoming this Friday.
I'm calling in and telling my boss I got the shits so that I can come see you.
Thank you.
Wow.
So you already came to the show then.
Oh, this is wild.
This came in this week.
Well, yeah, it's crazy.
A, you called your boss and said you got the shits.
That's pretty cool.
That's pretty, I mean, that's nobody can deny or lie about that.
B, you and your boyfriend got out there on that Mackinac River and was out there spanking and busting around each other.
And I like that.
You know, I remember going tubing when I was young and stopping and doing some sex and doing some child sex because I was still a child.
And so was the girl that I was seeing.
And we could legally have sex with each other because we were both children and doing some child sex out there on the banks.
And it's fun.
You know what's fun about that kind of stuff?
You got to fuck fast because your friends are waiting for you.
They're right up around the bend and you slip off on that sandbar and bust out, you know?
And it's all, I mean, everybody's genitals are so cold, you can't even tell what's getting fucked or what's doing the, you know, what's doing the, you know, really doing a lot of the darting and what's doing a lot of the accepting.
It's just basically like smashing cold meat into chunks of cold meat into each other until both of them, you know, just coom out a little.
But thank you for calling.
That is a best weekend.
Let's hear another submission for our worst weekend.
Hey, Ceno, this is Kyle from Maryland.
I just wanted to call in, talk to you a little bit about my past weekend.
My girl of almost eight years just moved in yesterday.
Ooh, brave boy.
More.
So we're all pretty stoked about that.
That's pretty cool.
You know, we made some nice dinner.
And in the midst of all that, chopping garlic, fucking cut my hand.
Girl was there, all nice, happy, everything was sweet, great day.
Fucking ends up in the emergency room.
I'm cutting my hand.
Ooh, the irony for a vampire, huh?
We end up getting back after, you know, just a few stitches.
And then we put on the Theo Vaughn Netflix special.
Laughing hysterically.
Go get us, you know, go get it done, get it in afterwards.
Sitting there in bed.
She rolls over and she tells me, you know, it's Theo Vaughn.
Funny dude.
Funny guy.
So we look it up.
Boom.
You're in Washington, D.C. in November.
Bought us some tickets.
Gonna come see you, buddy.
Appreciate you.
Thanks.
Thank you guys, man.
And obviously, I know I'm not the only person who realized that that's a threesome invitation right there.
You know what I'm saying?
A little bit of garlic, a little bit of cutlery, trip to the hospital, couple stitches, Netflix, people fucking.
I mean, look.
I mean, how much Morse code or charades you got to put down there for y'all trying to get daddy in that bedroom?
That is awesome, man.
And the crazy thing is, if you cut your hand open and you're having sex after, you almost have to keep your hand in the air so it doesn't throb very much.
But that's interesting, man.
And I appreciate your weekend.
That is a great weekend.
Both of these are great.
We got one more submission for this past month.
And then next week, I'll let you know who won for this month.
For our best, worst weekend, here we go.
Hey, Theo, calling in for the best, worst weekend.
Your boy Devin B in Youngstown.
Oh, shit.
My boy Devin B out in Youngsteasy, boy, Youngstown, Ohio.
And that's a great place to get a get some cornbread and get fucked up as well and get mugged, maybe even.
Or even, you know, or also get into military onward?
I don't really know if I want to say it's a good or bad weekend per se, but this weekend I just hung out with my dog and did some Bali, man.
Ooh, hung out with your dog and did a little bit of ecstasy, huh?
Hmm.
That sounds like some David and the Gnomes type of shit.
Remember that cartoon?
David and the Gnomes?
And they had like little gnomes and suddenly they had a wolf or like a dog, like a sled dog hanging out with them.
And you're like, damn, they got this big white dog hanging out with this little, you know, frisky little person.
This fucking, somebody's on ecstasy.
Onward?
Fucking, I know that sounds weird, but pretty sure we connected.
Like on a different level.
Oh, I bet you did, dude.
I mean, I hope it was all kind of stuff you could talk about at the church, you know, Onward.
Shit, man.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Okay, and there you go, man.
I don't know.
Is that bestiality or is that just friendship?
What is it?
What did we just hear, guys?
What did we honestly just hear?
I do not know.
Let's take another call right here.
This was just a regular somebody hitting the hotline with a thought or a suggestion.
The hotline number is 985-664-9503.
And if you want to contribute to the podcast, call and contribute.
There's also a video fan line.
You can send video fanline questions through our LiveRaise fan line, and that link is on the YouTube page.
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast.
Please, let's hear.
Hey, what's up, Phil?
It's Zach from Toronto, Canada.
Zach from Toronto, and I'll be up there in Toronto a little bit later this year, so get those passes to JFL Toronto.
More?
So my conundrum is that I'm 29 and I never had sex with a girl.
Wow.
Dude, I got to think about this, man, because you're 29, you never had sex, huh?
Wow.
Because let's listen to you.
We've listened to me enough.
Sorry.
I interrupted you, Zach.
More.
You know, and it's not like I'm not a freak.
I'm a bigger dude.
You know, I'm like 6'2 ⁇ , like 230, 240.
Bro, you sound cute enough.
There's girls listening right now who would probably fuck you, bro.
And a couple dudes, too, bruh.
So one way or another, we might get you out of this jam.
Let's hear more.
And, you know, I've been spending a lot of time just working on my education.
I got some university degrees.
Oh, man.
So I'll tell you what you are fucking, dude.
You're fucking the world, bruh.
Because you're getting yourself some diplomas, dude.
You know what I'm saying?
You're stacking that paper.
You're stacking those frame fillers, man.
You got a couple hitters.
More?
And trying to get a career off the ground.
But it's like I never had sex with a girl.
And I never really pursued it either.
Wow.
So you're what?
I mean, Joe Rogan talks about this thing called the incels, I think, and it's people that don't have no interest in sex at all.
I don't know if that's what you are because I have to research it a little bit more.
And also, you could just be your own thing.
But this is super interesting, man.
I'd love to, I'm going to have to call you and talk to you on the air about this.
But let's finish your call.
But I'm starting to think like maybe we should just give up and be celibate forever.
Dude, I heard this, man.
If you don't have sex and you go to heaven, bruh, that there's like everybody, it's like you're like a piñata and they beat you open and all of like the semen and all that, confetti or whatever.
Like, you know, because semen is basically just confetti, but from like heaven.
And it all flies out of your body.
People beat you open and it flies out of your body, but it doesn't hurt.
It's still, you know, but it's just like, it's like a celebration.
It's like a Maypole celebration or something like that, or like, I guess like Cingo de Maya or something.
More.
And also my buddy, my buddy even, he really likes those hookers, right?
Okay, he's out there escorting more.
And he even offered to pay for me to fuck the hooker.
And I said no, because I'm not into that kind of shit.
But I don't know.
What do you think about that?
You know, like 29 years old, never had sex with a girl.
I got my dick suck once, but that was a while ago.
I don't know.
What do you think?
Man, I love it.
You know, this is fascinating to me.
You know, this is super interesting, and it's fascinating to me that you've been through all, you know, you're 29. What do you do?
You know what?
You know, this is kind of a crazy week because I'm on the road.
I'm going to leave it right there.
What does he do?
You know, here he is.
He's been through, you know, he's 29 years old.
He's been alive for 29 years, he said.
You know, and he don't have any sex.
You know, he's never gotten that warm, you know, that warm catfish wrapped around his freaking, you know, his, you know, his body dart.
You know, he's never gotten to hide that fucking that meat cane up in that up in that soft sock.
So what, you know, at this point, because here's another thing.
Your imagination, I'm sure, is, I don't know if there's any, even any, and if you've been watching pornography, which, I mean, I'm just assuming, say, assuming you have been watching pornography, there's no way you're imagining that something real like that, I don't think it's going to be able to compete with that.
And also, escorts are, look, man, escorting is a means to an end.
These are women who are out there working.
These are making, you know, these are women who are a lot of women putting their families through, putting their children through kindergarten.
You know, it's like, that's not the, that isn't, that's how you get sex i don't think that's a demeaning way um this is interesting what does he do he's 29 years old i'll give you a call uh but i'll wait and do that on the air because i think we should talk i'd love to talk to you in front of it you know so everybody can be involved as i learn um so that uh everyone learns at the same time um but
yeah man look we'll get into it we'll get into it you know i'm gonna finish up my my holiday weekend because fourth of july is coming up i want to say happy fourth of july to anybody who served for our country um and i also want to say that you know this is your america this is your america don't let any um don't let your boss tell you what your america is supposed to look like don't let your um don't let your uh a celebrity tell you what your america is supposed to look like don't
let someone who holds um a job over your head tell you what your america is supposed to look like this is your america celebrate it however you want this is your america you know i want to thank all the men and women who have served who protect our independence you know so many times they want to say uh you know people want to say um oh well uh you know anybody can come into america it doesn't even matter um but you know who i i'd love to know from some soldiers out there how
do you guys feel about that you know if you're protecting our borders or this might be my mindset and it's totally wrong because i'm not i'm not doing this but if you're protecting our borders what do you think the borders should be like you know how do you manage the idea of america being like a safe haven for people but at the same time america being um able to take care of itself you know what does that look like are some of these ideas old ideas and
some of these ideas um far-fetched you know i'd love to if there's any uh any people who have served out there who might have some insight into that because um i can have my ideas but i've i haven't protected the walls of uh you know i haven't protected um the not the walls but you know saying the the i haven't protected our borders i've never done it you know i don't what if it is that in your heart when you choose to fight for america or if you choose to defend america if you choose to serve in the military is that
in your heart or is that or is it just that doesn't matter you know that's just part of the job i don't know i'm just i'm intrigued i'm intrigued what that's like because um there just seems to be a lot of different viewpoints on it um you know i i tend to believe that that there should be an organized way for people to come in and out of our country that's what i believe because and
here's why to me because i've traveled to i've traveled to a lot of countries maybe 40 50 and there's an extremely organized way that i have to go in and out of those places and some places they don't even want you there you know i i and i just i don't see how you lose with organization in fact i see only how you gain because then if somebody comes here
and they need help you know who they are and uh and i think america we need a roll call anyway we need to know who's here you know how can you teach a class how can you work with a class if you don't even know who's in the classroom if they got you know seven or nine students hiding in the behind the coat rack because they're afraid to live openly um you know so i think we got to have an organized way for people to come into the country that's what i think uh but i'm happy uh to be proven wrong or i'm happy to hear a different suggestion or
a different idea um because you know what there's a good chance i might not know what the fuck i'm talking about but i'd love to know from from uh people that protect our borders what do they think or is there even a group thought or is there like a popular group thought there or is it all just everybody has different opinions and you just don't bring them up because you know because it's uh you're on the job and that sort of thing but none the matter none the matter that uh whether people share the same ideas on the on that or
not uh happy fourth of july to you and hope you spend it hope you watch a fat uncle fucking mug down a four or five fucking hot dogs dude you know because this is america man and we can enjoy ourselves and hope you listen to some good music play some will smith you know what i'm saying play some shit your dad might even know a little play some will smith and let's do it uh we'll get out of here uh and this is a this is again this is alabama by bishop
gunner thank you very much happy 4th of july thank you for being here we'll get a more regular episode next week i'll see you on thursday's episode with jordan b peterson hit the hotline if you have questions for him and uh be good to yourselves because i bet you deserve it thank you guys for coming out this weekend in wyoming illinois and um and just making me feel at home even in such a small place i had a blast she
was huddled in the back top broke down at a truck stop she looked about as wild as a story she told you was a Christian saving soul spinning a
Chunky dryin'out in the slammer Lord, I hope I don't die in Alabama.
Higher than a chunky dryin'out in the slammer Lord.
Oh.
Yeah, Alabama.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
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